#ALSO ORYM FINALLY SAYING IT

[forgetriestowrite]

"You are the reason i'm here"

hey. hey Robbie. what the fuck

[gracefireheart]

Heavy spoilers below, so don’t read it if you haven’t watched c3 ep 52.

I mean it 👁️👁️

I am just-- vibrating in excitement at the FCG content we got this episode and might be getting more of soon™

FCG’s convos with Frida? Banger so far and I can’t wait for more. Especially when it comes to- of course- them being Aeormatons, and how FCG wants to believe in the Changebringer while Frida’s like “but why tho’????🤨”

FCG’s convos with Deanna? Love them a fuckton too. And I’m still smiling at that moment between FCG and Deanna where she gave them her knitted scarf thingy, and FCG told her how she should save it for someone that needed it, and she said “I did” like alkjfhalkfhjalkshjfla You’re tearing me apart, Aabria orz God damn

FCG potentially having an acronym behind their facemask? Makes me wonder- if they do get it open and see an acronym there- whether they might try using that name as well along with FCG and Letters.

FCG potentially having their wheel switched out for robotic legs? I am very interested to say the least, and- if they do switch out their wheel with legs- I wonder how their missing buddies are gonna react to that (especially Ashton since they wouldn’t need to carry FCG as much around in difficult terrains (tho’ mostly stairs) then).

FCG using Shared Dream on Frida to experience what might be Frida’s Aeor memories? HO BOY DO YOU KNOW I’M EXCITED FOR THAT. Also the sorta high potential of FCG snapping during that if they see something that might trigger them a bit, as some critters have pointed out :]

Just lots of stuff I’m excited for with this lil’ robit <3

[thehobbitwithstickyuppyhair]

can I just say that I loved the way C3 and in particular the finale was so... idk chill with non traditional romantic and sexual relationships?

Dorian having sexual experiences with other people while being romantically dedicated to Orym, and Orym supporting it (Liam's little double thumbs up made me smile)

Fearne, unwilling to be "tied down" and entirely non-monogamous Fearne, saying she would go with Ashton and Ashton saying they would like that, but that they also need some time and space first, and that whatever their relationship ended up looking like was fine by him as long as it was intentional

Idk I just liked that while we did have the traditional "settle down in a cozy home together" happy ending with Imogen and Laudna, I just really loved that it wasn't portrayed as the ultimate, or best, or better than, happy ending. That these other endings were just as happy and just as satisfying.

[rationalnerd62]

Seeing some of the tags I got on the CR timeline post, I think I loved C3 for the exact same reasons some folks disliked it or struggled with it.

I liked the overarching arc. Don't get me wrong, mini-arcs like with VM and M9 are perfectly fine, but there's something narratively satisfying to me about BH following this consistent thread all along the campaign. This group started with a few questions (Who attacked Keyleth? Why? What is the meaning of those dreams? Where are Fearne's parents?) and uncovered a whole conspiracy that then revealed itself to the entire world. It reminds me of reading those Fantasy series where the characters hear about the upcoming battle in book 1 and finally get to it in book 14. I can't wait to rewatch and see the foreshadowing and hints that brought this group to this point.

I liked the constant discussions about the Gods. Listen, as a gay person raised in a Catholic family, boy I've had my dealings and issues with religion. But I find it nice to be able to put our own world aside and watch this fantasy world ask questions that would be very controversial in ours. What we know of the Gods of Exandria has fundamentally changed from the first episode of C3 to the last. We went through both ExU Calamity and Downfall during that time. Those Gods have changed from being so removed and above mortals, mystical entities incomprehensible to anyone who dared trying, to beings with a past before Exandria, a family they're willing to protect at all costs no matter how hurtful their siblings are to the mortals, aliens with flaws and faults and failings, full of nuances and grayness in a world that put half of them in a box of "Good" and the other half in a box of "Evil". And as those Gods have been humanised in front of our eyes, it brought the question of whether their power over mortals is still justified and relevant. And now Exandria is about to change, and I find it exciting. IMO, it gives even more of a reason to keep exploring Exandria in the future of Critical Role than if the status quo was maintained. It's hard to do something new in a world that doesn't evolve with the story.

And while I understand people would have loved more time with Bell's Hells (I would have loved that too!), I also kinda loved how rushed and short in time they've been feeling since they've heard of the solstice. They've had a ticking clock ringing in their ears for a while now. People make different decisions when they don't think they have the time to get some sleep on it. Would have Ashton tried to absorb the shard if the group didn't have to leave for Ruidus the exact next day? Would have Orym taken a sword that maybe shouldn't be his if they didn't have to leave for Aeor the next day? Would have Imogen absorbed Predathos if watching Downfall hadn't made them realise that the Gods will break the Divine Gate to keep the secret of Predathos hidden?

IMO, we still got plenty of very interesting character moments despite the limited amount of time those characters spent together. They've been through some shit together, and the friendships they made through the shared trauma will stick with them for years. Because yes, they are friends (except for Braius, that one is on a tightrope lol). But they've proven over and over again what they're willing to do for their tight crew of broken people.

Boy I am so very fond of them. Saying goodbye will be hard 🥹.

[peripecias-i]

the difference in how Liam was playing Orym to the audience before talking to Will (ep 104) and now (ep 105) is so amazing. Since Orym is finally open to his feelings we are also seeing his feeling. THE FUCKING "HOW MUCH HE LOVES DORIAN". So many breadcrumbs... they are officially crutons.

And as I always say, Mr. Liam O'Brian it's time for you to live a romance IN GAME. Go my little hafling, present yourself to your furure in law, straighten that relationship between the air people, be happy and live your life

[zwoftt]

WEEKLY DORYM MOMOS N OTHER STUFF!!! (in no particular order)))

the chemistry between bells hells and the mighty nein is just so good. i had an absolute blast watching

the settle nod orym gives when jester says dorian is “really handsome” when shaking dorian’s hand

”mr. dorian” cad says when calling over to dorian, who looks a little startled at the professional nickname

dorian nodding in agreement to orym’s plan, as he normally does.

the way dorian tries to show off his abs next to beau after orym asks her what her routine is. the laughter afterwards when he gets embarrassed!!!!

jester winning over braius and getting more backstory than anyone else. so golden.

the jealousy of dorian when he sees how many people are in relationships and [not him] because he’s being a scaredy cat

caleb knocking sense into orym. CALEB KNOCKING SENSE INTO ORYM!!!

anybody else think dorian was trying to set up braius and veth really hard just to get him off of orym??

no thoughts just dorian and yasha bonding over music

the nervous glances robbie and liam share when they’re thinking about what to do with their characters …. especially after robbie tried to knock on orym’s door earlier in the episode but it was drowned out by shenanigans

the frantic inspiration dorian gives to braius when he’s painting orym

everyone getting so silent and so excited when dorian knocks on orym’s door. so is liam! his eyes light up immediately!

the whole confession scene was just so, so, so good. so beautifully well done. it made sense for both characters, and honestly so satisfying to see the moment happen after three years of consecutive pining/yearning. dorian giving orym the chance to make his own choices, and orym curling up in dorian’s embrace immediately just to be there,,, “not wanting to spoil the moment”. some of my favorite lines though, “let me comfort you for once,” from dorian; unaware that he WAS[is] in fact orym’s form of comfort but also implying that dorian finds immense comfort in orym, and orym’s “this is okay.” accepting the fact he is in love with dorian, finally, and truly. INTERLOCKING THEIR FINGERS. sound familiar??? something he couldn’t do with will in the vision???? but he instead does it now with dorian????? uuuuuhghhhhghhhhhh …. dorian fantasizing about them before falling asleep to the sound of orym’s breathing,,, orym staying awake longer to once again watch dorian sleep before passing out too.

also the fact the confession scene wasn’t too dramatic but still surprising and amazingly done just makes that feel so much more REAL. like how REAL LIFE confessions would be with highly traumatized people. not even mad they didn’t kiss yet because boy… just—- ugjjjjhh it was so beautiful, so raw. and it was robbie’s first time doing a romance roleplay too!!!

in the cooldown and [from introspection] robbie says dorian is very inexperienced with love and the feeling of it- since he was sheltered for so long; so orym is basically his first love(but dorian is just also super nervous and respectful towards will and orym’s relationship so that explains why he was so careful about expressing himself too.) and liam mentions orym was too shy to do anything himself so that’s why he had his other character go in there and just slap him on the ass because he wanted orym to talk to dorian somehow. which means that both robbie(dorian) and liam(orym) WANTED to have that exact moment between them, BOTH WANTED them to talk. and also the entire cast was fawning over them, matt getting teary eyed and the girls whispering and laughing to each other, sam getting excited himself and tal just smiling like a dork. everyone was just so proud of them!

DORYM NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING FOR NEXT EPISODES??? IM SO EXCITED TO SEE THE AWKWARD LAUGHTER, LOVESICK FLIRTATION AND EVEN MORE FROM OUR FAVORITE BOYS now time to start the cycle again of waiting years for them to kiss (i hope not please god)

[utilitycaster]

I've seen some people compare Vax's resurrection in C3 to bringing back Molly (later revealed to be Kingsley) in C2E140. How do you think these two scenarios differ and why does one work and the other doesn't? Also, do you think C2 scenario would still work if Taliesin played it like it was in fact Molly that was brought back (as Mighty Nein originally believed) and not Kingsley?

Hi anon,

I mean, you kind of answer it here: Molly wasn't resurrected. Kingsley, a different aspect of the same fragmented soul within that body, was. This isn't bringing back someone who died; it's starting a new life from what was left. It's thematically coherent with the rest of the Nein's stories, both in terms of many of them coming together still getting over a devastating loss or change and becoming someone new in the ashes of that; and with the very specific endings of many of their stories: probably most obviously with Caleb, choosing to leave his parents to their rest and instead building his own life in the model of what he wanted before the Volstrucker training, but also with Beau embracing the Cobalt Soul, Yasha finding new love, Veth and her family restarting their lives in Nicodranas, Jester with a deeply altered but intact relationship with Artagan, Fjord with a new patron, and Caduceus with a renewed grove.

I admit in 2x140 I cheered that nat 1 on resurrection, and the success of the Divine Intervention gave me pause, particularly on the heels of such a fantastic moment between Essek and Fjord after it failed. I went into 2x141 with considerable trepidation, so Taliesin's choice to have Molly remain dead while still making the Divine Intervention mean something was an unexpected joy and some truly excellent storytelling. I do not think it would have worked well had he brought back Molly, though it wouldn't have been quite as egregious as Vax coming back, and I'll talk more about that at the end.

Vax coming back fails on every single level. On a basic level, there is really no mechanical or logical justification for it to happen. There is no attempt from Vox Machina to bring him back as a mortal. There is no reason for him to revert from celestial to mortal (and the fact that he'd already left at the top of the episode really underscores this; I'd still have my other complaints had he still been with Vox Machina at the time of Catatheosis but this really makes no sense); angels of the gods canonically remained such during the first time the gods became mortal. It is not something he asked for, nor Keyleth asked of the Matron. It simply occurs. Then, of course, there is what it means for the characters. What does it say that Keyleth never moved on? What does it say that Vax never gave her the space to do so and now she doesn't have to - particularly in the statements during 4SD that their actions both were somewhat unhealthy and that Vax's inability to let go is what enabled Ludinus's plan to succeed in the first place? What does it say, as this post points out, about Scanlan's choices?

And then there's what it says thematically across the entire decade of storytelling: What does it say about such stories as Orym's or Yasha's, about finding new love after loss? In a narrative where the party was faced with an incredibly difficult choice with far reaching effects (whether or not that narrative was well done, it was a story of choices) what does it say that Vax's conscious choice to become a revenant and have a few more days with the people he loved rather than remain dead was ultimately simply a long inconvenience?

And finally, what does it say about the casts' past statements? I was struck with the grace with which the cast handled the backlash from Molly's death. Liam spoke of the meaning of death in narratives; Ashly Burch shared an incredibly moving essay on the death of her partner at a young age; and the conversation on Talks in which Matt talked about the importance of death was one that at the time I dearly loved. In it, Taliesin pointed out the ephemeral and physical nature of Molly and the concept of that character, and how there was no way to bring back Molly without destroying the entire premise. The reason Molly wouldn't be as much of a failure is because at least it would have been driven by the actions and choices of the Mighty Nein, and that we did not have insight into how Molly felt about his demise.

Because that is the other thing. We've seen Vax multiple times since his death, at Vex and Percy's wedding and at the Malleus Key, and both times he was greatly changed and did not agree to stay. He didn't change his mind; it was changed for him. And in the casts' past statements, Liam has been an advocate (as he was in Molly's death) for the importance of death and tragedy. How does that square with all of what they said then?

It's damning that the only defenses of this decision have been entirely Doylist (when I have both Watsonian and Doylist critiques) - that Happy Endings Are Good. The thing is, Keyleth's story could have been a happy ending, as the Mighty Nein's was despite their loss. It was a choice to have Keyleth never get over it. That is, ultimately, the only choice that was honored. I do understand a desire for a happy ending, but I find this desire for not just a happy ending but a vanishingly narrow and particular one to be childish, self-indulgent, and destabilizing of previous storytelling integrity. The song Tokyo Sunrise always was in a major key, after all.

One thing that came to mind while I wrote this up was something a few people have pointed out about Dragon Age: The Veilguard, which is that it consistently has a message that prioritizing immediate catharsis often feels hollow in the end, and cuts off opportunities for growth and redemption, and the gameplay is consistent with that narrative. It can feel good to punch the First Warden, or to leave the mayor of D'Meta's Crossing to his fate, or imprison Illario, in the moment; but these all ultimately serve as a detriment to your goals. Even fighting or tricking Solas rather than giving him an ending on his own terms, the last choice you can make in a game that ends immediately after, is something many players have reported as feeling unrewarding after a day or two. I do wonder whether this decision, to bring back Vax, felt good in the moment, but will similarly sour and curdle in time.

[thisisnotthenerd]

the thing that stuck out to me about this finale is the theme of new starts and redemptions

because it is a release for the gods in many ways. it is a release for the protagonists of the story we're following.

but in many ways it has turned into the reversal and softening of consequences/stakes that have dogged this campaign consistently.

a list of pulled punches/backtracks in the finale (in no particular order):

divine magic functioning exactly the same post-catatheosis. i think this contributes to bell's hells' reaction; if the magic is still there and the gods are gone, that still means it's okay, right? meanwhile people are grieving the loss of the beings that have defined their lives, especially in vasselheim. i guess this implies that the gods' energies have been tied to the world of exandria; those who attune to and hold faith in the particular creed of the deities can pull on their power as it was released into the world. or they pull purely from faith in other mortals, or smaller gods/beings. but they barely had any sympathy for those losing the object of their lives' purpose.

ashton sacrificing themself and not dying or losing any semblance of their powers. i get the sacrifice. i get the mirroring of fcg's sacrifice. i get wanting to go out with a bang. i also get bell's hells wanting him back. but what i want to know, is why exactly they had to be recreated with dunamis. why not be resurrected and have to grapple with the loss of that source of power and yet be in less pain because of it?

imogen (& the other ruidusborn) not losing power after predathos' release. yes i know why in the doylist sense. but it takes away the power of that decision if the source of the aberration in 'aberrant mind' goes away and nothing changes.

laudna being re-alived in a marriage ceremony/divine intervention. it feels like a little bit of a cop-out when her previous conversation with the matron implied work through time, but maybe that's just my interpretation. perhaps it's due to the reworking of magic and the expression of divine intervention.

bell’s hells threatening their way through vasselheim and getting zero flack for it even after they lost the leverage of predathos. i get the ‘heroes of the realm’ thing. i get it. did they have to intimidate their way through as much of it as possible.

orym's pact. i get why it would have constituted a break; the way it was played off felt a little flippant. it would be one thing for it to be acknowledged as him escaping a real pact that he did get powers from. instead it's more of a comedic moment.

liliana not facing public scrutiny. maybe she did, but it really seems like she recovered and just walked away. i'm aware of what she went through as an audience member; i wish we had gotten to see what imogen vouching for her on trial would have looked like. for that matter, we don't really see a resolution of the ruby vanguard at all.

opal being partially released from the circlet. this one actually makes sense to me. not protesting this one. the spider queen can't live in the circlet all the time if she's in mortal manifestation. also, opal is fully still stuck with the crown.

vax and morrighan as champions of the matron. i do think the matron's actions fit. in this scenario, she's weighing the possibilities of her champions having to run her realm against her own experience and trying to spare them both the loneliness she herself felt. it fits. i take issue with her saying she kept him greedily, rather than what it was, which was a pact fairly made that he faithfully served, which she is adjusting in a moment of mercy at the end of the world as they know it.

the gods are back on exandria. it's been treated as a bit, with reminders of evil babies and what you could do to them. recall the last time they were there the time period was called the calamity. and also, can you imagine what the followers of either betrayer gods or prime deities would do knowing that the god who ostensibly opposed theirs was out there somewhere as a vulnerable mortal? they've started an ages-long arms race of who can find the reincarnated gods first. braius stepped away from asmodeus and was promised a lifetime of being followed for his betrayal, and yet ashton was literally followed more by the kryn dynasty.

it comes across as a lot of wish fulfillment without the legwork to get there. it's not that bell's hells haven't been through the worst and come back from it; it's that the closer we've come to a conclusion, the less it seems like bell's hells have had a stake in all of it.

even their conclusions: the primary goals have been freedom and adventuring.

vox machina's original epilogues came with grief, but also a level of responsibility to their communities (whitestone, zephrah, the faith of the everlight). they had fame from their exploits because they happened on a very grand scale.

the mighty nein's epilogues came with a resurrection, and the desire to live their lives to the fullest. as the 'heroes no one knows about', they were able to step down and live quieter lives. they pursued specific purposes, whether it's beau with the cobalt soul & caleb at the academy pursuing the assembly, fjord captaining his fleet and jester pursuing her art and faith, veth and her family and camp, kingsley as the plank king, caduceus stewarding the blooming grove, yasha tending her home, and etc.

the epilogues for bell's hells focus on them achieving individual goals of freedom to travel and adventure. sometimes they have a place where they settle, but it's generally undefined. it feels as though they're not done yet, because the finality is taken out with the stakes.

everyone lives happily ever after, and the world keeps spinning. it’s like a fluffy fix-it fic, except this is fully the canon of the world.

i’ll discuss my thoughts on the greater implications for exandria another day.

[widogastsversion]

I also must say how incredibly important dorym is to me. they're the reason I fell in love with critical role, the reason I even started watching in the first place. I haven't been watching critical role for long but in that time I've grown such a fondness for it and the stories and the characters and the cast, and that was all because I wanted to know about this halfling and blue guy. before watching the finale, the thing I wanted the most from it was dorym to have a happy ending. not just because they both deserve it but because they mean so so much to me and my heart would shatter if they were not given the opportunity to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. so, yes, I'm thrilled with the path dorian and orym are going on

together

day by day

💚💙

[ilanarose7]

Some outcomes of Critical Role episode 91 (that happened either because of or completely separate from the big thing)

SPOILERS!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Starting with the ones not due to FCG's sacrifice:

Liliana has some level of trust and attempts at redemption with her daughter (those 31's on deception and persuasion Laura you legend!), which means a major player (and VESSEL?? tf was that about) who was formerly (and maybe kind of still) on Ludinus's side is swapping over

Ashton and Fearne are about to be exhausted from being Titans (Ashton much sooner since they powered up in ep. 90)

Zathuda is both proud and angry towards Fearne which is both terrifying and a bit heartwarming(?)

Nana (I think/hope it was her bending fate) was able to help Team Infiltration escape the Weavemind after Orym reached out

Now for the other outcomes due to FCG's sacrifice:

Orym's deal with Nana should be void since the group cannot return as they were (VM Spoiler Note: Liam's PC was finally saved from a deal leading to a life of service by Sam's PC after he wasn't able to in C1)

Chetney is ALIVE! I'm counting this as part of the sacrifice bc due to weird leveling circumstances Sam sacrificed his one brand-new 7th-level spell slot to take Revivify, which is a major thing to give up

Otohan is DEAD! GONE! That is a MAJOR player off the board and another one of Ludinus's high-ranking members off the board

FCG is dead, seemingly unrevivable based on how Matt phrased it (asking to make sure Sam understood what it meant). That will have MAJOR implications going forward.

On a D&D technical level, there is no primary healer meaning that Fearne has to take some healing spells or the party can't heal at all (pretty sure they used up all their potions during that fight).

On a character level, this is going to be devastating. Ashton, who started this whole adventure with FCG and has been saying for a LONG time that FCG was going to get themself killed, was unconscious when FCG made the ultimate sacrifice. Sending works, which means when they get back to Exandria, Imogen will probably be the one to let FRIDA know what happened.

On a slightly lighter note, I feel like Travis is going to shine next week. It's been said before and I'll say it again, Chetney is the heart of Bells Hells. He knows how to be there for this family and I have a feeling that will come to the forefront as we see the aftermath

I'm sure there are more outcomes, but these are the ones on my mind after barely sleeping last night following that episode. Sam knows how to play this game well and cuts straight to the heart while doing so. It was masterfully played and while completely devastating to watch, was also incredibly heroic and beautiful.

Good game, great players, amazing DM, and of course thank you Fresh Cut Grass for being a Faithful Care-Giver until the end

[annemarieyeretzian]

chetney saying “orym keeps the sword… I agree, it’s his to do with as he chooses. laudna, he’s lost more than we have, and I trust him. but I also trust you.” and laudna snapping “thank you. but do not ever speak to me about loss again.” and leaving,,,

it’s finally clicked for me why this bothers me. because laudna has lost. laudna is still suffering loss. she’s allowed to bring her experiences, her feelings, and her grief up however and whenever she wants. but this is the thing laudna always says: “don’t speak to me of loss.” it refuses to allow anyone else to have experienced (or to also be experiencing) loss. again, of course laudna has lost. of course laudna has suffered. but… so has everyone else in bell’s hells. treating loss like the suffering winter’s crest festival isn’t fair, healthy, or helpful.

if anyone else should be ‘allowed’ speak to laudna of loss, chetney is maybe the most reasonable choice: he’s lost his entire family, he’s lost his home, he’s lost lovers, he was cursed with lycanthropy (no matter the fact that he loves this aspect of himself – it was still a change, still a loss of sorts), he’s likely outlived most everyone he’s ever known. chetney does get to speak of loss. laudna is the only one living with her murderer in her head. that’s horrific. no one understands it. no one can understand it. and, not but, everyone else’s grief is also extensive, significant, and valid. it affects who they are. it informs their day-to-day decisions. they are allowed to speak of loss.

[codeopod]

The Hells dispersed into their tent and began dropping all their gear near respective beds and taking shots from the bottles Ashton managed to scavenge. Weariness and heartbreak had begun to give way to a delirious happiness at seeing their old friend return.

“Dorian! There’s someone else you have to meet!” Laudna flourished excitedly, “Oh Pâté!” She called.

Just over her shoulder a creature popped into existence, wobbling and flapping the bat-like wings that barely kept it aloft. “Yes mum watcha’ need?”

Dorian was taken aback. “Oh my god! He’s alive? He’s real? That’s a real-thing?!”

“Oh ‘ello Dory! ’s been a while.” The bird skull turned to address him.

“Dorian. It certainly has, wow, did you get…bigger?”

“He’s a bit bigger, yeah.” Imogen added, dropping her head over Laudnas shoulder.

“Oh an’ these two!” Pâté flapped out to turn and gesture at them. “They finally forked the meat pie-if you know what I mean-“

“Pâté! You crude little pest.”

“-‘ey lock me in ma’ house at night now, gets awful scary with the noises ‘ey-“

Laudna brought her hands together like she was swatting a bug midair and Pâté yelped as his form squisheed and burst into black goo. “That’s quite enough of that.”

“Oh, well-I, congratulations you two, if I am understanding his…way with words…correctly?”

“We’re datin’ yeah.” Imogen couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s wonderful! Honestly I thought you’d been secretly together this whole time.”

“You’re not the first to say that, actually.”

“I also have a wolf in my chest! Would you like to meet him?” Laudna bounced excitedly towards Dorian, who scrambled backwards.

“A what?! I-um sure?”

Dorian watched helplessly as a massive wolf literally burst out of Laudna’s chest. He held his bladder but took several steps back to keep his shoes free of ichor. “Oh, wow-you weren’t kidding, that is a very large dog.”

The thing was half rotten and only really had fur along its head and spine. Ghostly glowing mist drifted around it and seeped from the gapping wounds in its side. It gnashed its teeth as it turned to look at him. It’s eyes glowed a sickly green that was almost hypnotizing, only breaking away when Imogen whistled and it bounded happily over to sit at her heel.

“That’s a good boy.” She cooed and rubbed at his ears.

Laudna echoed his praises. “His name is Caviar, isn’t he gorgeous?”

“He certainly…suits your style!”

Orym joined them then, watching Dorians expressions carefully. “Guys, maybe let’s save some excitement for the morning?”

“Rest does sound nice, though I may not sleep.” Dorian admitted his face darkening, “…not after seeing that!” He tried to spin it as a joke but Orym’s frown deepened.

“You can bunk with me -and Fearne- if you want?”

“…I will admit, I have missed our cuddle piles.” Dorian smiled softly. The two men stared at eachother for an extended moment while Imogen and Laudna looked between them.

Laudna snickered but Imogen’s eyes sparkled with mischief as she pressed into Laudna’s side. “Well then, are you ready for bed, baby?” She purred just loud enough to be overheard. “We can leave the boys to their…cuddlin’.”

Dorian choked out a cough, his cheeks darkening. Laudna melted, twirling her hair around a finger and smiling a dopey grin. “We can have our own cuddle pile.”

“Of course.” Imogen grinned before rocking up on her toes and pulling Laudna into a soft kiss. The hound at their side jumped to his feet and did an excited twirl, tail wagging as his master sighed happily.

“I-uh- we should just-“ Dorian sputtered. Orym resisted an eye roll but smiled fondly at the pair. “Yeah, let’s go find Fearne.”

“I heard we’re kissing?” Fearne popped up behind them with a wine bottle in her hand. “It’s about time!”

Orym groaned into his hands, face heating.

[thewickedkat]

long post incoming; meta enthusiasts may wish to digest this in chunks.

i am so completely exasperated with Laudna as of the latest episode. however, i temper that exasperation with my enjoyment as a viewer; indeed, i am feasting on the conflict, thinking finally, some good fucking food, because i think (and have always thought) that Laudna is terrifically interesting as a character and she presents wonderful opportunities for growth not only on her end, but as a catalyst for others.

that being said. the sword. how she handled it. how she handled her own trauma bubbling up, how she handled (or didn't) Delilah, how she handled Orym and Chetney and Dorian and the whole miserable mess she made.

it was selfish. there. i said it. you may disagree with me, i care not, but her course of action was terribly selfish and destructive.

i know many people out there have been likening her behaviour to that of an addict's (and there are many common factors there: the hiding, the lying by omission, the shame, the acquiescence to bad behaviour), but i think in some ways that to do so is reductive, and also removes agency from Laudna herself.

she is allowing her trauma to almost make her decisions for her, allowing it to define her, and she is not giving herself the opportunity to realise that growth beyond it is possible--or, perhaps, she does realise this and is simply too afraid to reach out and grasp it. i think even if Delilah weren't trying to subsume her, Laudna would still be self-sabotaging and self-destructive and still try to hide the parts of her she felt were undesirable; Delilah in many ways simply makes it easier for Laudna to do so and, if pressed, provides a rationalisation for Laudna's choices and actions (as in 'it wasn't me, it was her, she made me do it).

first and foremost, Laudna was a victim of heinous trauma, being murdered and then being put on grotesque display. then she was further traumatised in coming back from the dead and being forced to isolate herself from people for many years, with only Delilah's honeysweet venom dripping into her ear for that time. then she is murdered again as an object lesson for the woman she loves, then stuffed down so deep into her own psyche by the one who first killed her; she is fought for and brought back by her friends...who then seem to do little to check in with her, to make sure she is stable, or coping, because they each have their own baggage and oh by the way, the world is possibly ending. to be fair, there is little time for therapy and stability when you are literally running from crisis to crisis and trying to stop something you haven't even conceived of in your nightmares.

she feels dismissed, often, minimised, and she never developed healthy people skills or coping mechanisms (i am sorry but as much as i love Pâté, a dead rat does not a support group make). so she lashes out, has poor emotional regulation, and Does Crappy Things. so i also understand when she said 'what else have i to give, but myself?'

all that being said. what she did with Orym and the sword was fucking selfish. she is behaving like a child, as if she is the only one whose tragedies matter; she's playing Oppression Olympics, and can i just point out that Orym was the one to say 'i'm sorry' but Laudna never apologised for accosting him while he slept and hurting him? saying 'i didn't mean to hurt you' is not the same, because that implies that if she had not hurt him, stealing from him was perfectly acceptable and reasonable.

i don't believe her when she said 'i accept responsibility' because that means one must accept the consequences of their own actions, and right after she said that, she argued with everyone, told the oldest member of the Hells that he had no right to talk about loss to her, and then fled. that isn't accepting responsibility; that is mouthing platitudes in the hopes you will sway others to your point of view and when it fails, leaving in a huff like a child having a tantrum.

she didn't even bother to ask Orym why he kept the sword. she just tried to take.

Laudna often reacts from a place of fear: of pain, of more trauma, fear of inadequacy, of loss. all of these fears are valid. they are understandable, given all that has happened to her. but just because her fears are valid does not give her the right to make others pay for her emotional baggage. this is what makes her behaviour in ep 95 selfish. all of her actions in the back half of that episode are things she chose to do, and now she must sit in the mess she made. Laudna seems to be falling into the same mental rut that many victims fall into when their trauma isn't dealt with in a healthy fashion: they start fucking others over, as if being a victim excuses it. it does not.

and before others come for me, i say that as one who used to do the same fucking thing but i was lucky enough to have therapy. Laudna doesn't have that luxury--none of the Hells do. there simply isn't time to make space for any of their issues, not just Laudna's. Imogen is still wrestling with her mother; Fearne is wrestling with her parentage; Orym is just trying to keep his feet under him and do what he feels is right without betraying anyone he cares for (yes, including Laudna, shut up); Ashton is still trying to process the loss of Fresh Cut Grass (for gods' sakes, the crafting night was a fucking wake for the lil guy); Dorian just lost his brother and watched his friend succumb to a Betrayer God that turned her into a monster; and Chetney? Chetney is an old man who, i personally think, can pick his battles and knows how to compartmentalise better than any of these kids.

Laudna is not unique in that she has suffered horribly. no one is saying she hasn't, but her behaviour implies that she believes they are saying that. her actions imply she believes not only that she does not trust her friends (thanks, Dorian), but that acknowledging others' losses somehow negates hers. there just isn't time to healthily process any of this, which sucks. it does. i do think her friends love her, care for her deeply, and i think part of the reason they haven't checked up on her as much as they could is because a) they're afraid that her problem with Delilah is much worse than they thought (duh, it is); b) they can't fix the Delilah Problem right now even if they were qualified to do so (even Pike couldn't scour that bitch out of Laudna, she said as much); and c) they run the very substantial risk of wholly alienating Laudna if they press the issue too hard, thus not only losing an asset in the fight against the Vanguard and Ludinus, but also a friend and lover.

it's shit, all around, we all know that. but to pretend that it's okay she did what she did to Orym--or worse, somehow transfer responsibility from her onto him and make it his fault--is infantilising and disingenuous at best, and more than a little insulting.

[jesterlys]

list of everything that made me cry during the finale because i still need to process everything:

• ashton’s sacrifice

• deanna’s conversation with the dawn father

• OPAL MY HEART

• dorian reuniting with his mother (robbie daymond emotional damage to the max)

• gay divine intervention

• frida saying smiley day 😭

• crown keepers reunion

• orym and keyleth conversation

• imogen visiting her friends in their dreams

• pike finding the ever light (also quite literally riding off into the sunset with scanlan)

• vaxleth ending <3

[rationalnerd62]

I'm feeling weirdly about C3 ending next week (I guess there's some sadness mixed with other stuff, but me, putting feelings into words? Not in my autism), so instead of thinking too much about those feelings, I want to list random things about Bell's Hells I'd like to get resolved or developed, either in that 8.5h finale or in future BH one-shots (cause they've got to have some one day, right? Right?).

It's in no particular order whatsoever, I'm just putting random thoughts out there (and hoping to see other people's random thoughts too).

Titans' shenanigans! Both Ashton and Fearne absorbed a shard, and got some nice abilities out of it, but is there more to explore here? What does this mean for the elemental life of Exandria? Is this a path to some resurgence of the Titans? Are there other shards elsewhere? Will Ashton ever meet some remains of the cult their parents were in? Is that something they're still interested in knowing more about?

Ludinus! I am hoping this won't get resolved in the finale, because this would give big Trent M9 finale vibes and feel rushed, but that damn elf is still somewhere out there! What are his goals now that Predathos is out / the BH finale deals with the Gods in a way or another? Will he ever come back to haunt our characters?

Laudna! The Matron hinted that there was a possible path to her getting back what got stolen from her (aka her mortality). While I never would want for her to become a "normal human mortal" (she should still be able to get a form of dread and play with shadow and have fun with some of her "monstrous" powers!), I honestly will hate it if my favourite CR couple is *another one* of those couples with wildly different aging speed and one of the member of the couple has to outline the other for decades or centuries. Let Imogen and Laudna grow old together in their little cottage! They deserve it! I could see that being resolved as a "gift" from the Gods (if there's a good outcome with them), but I also wouldn't say no to a post-canon story (one shot, novel, comics, who knows) centered on this. I could see both Imogen and Laudna having made their peace with this, and then maybe in a few years they're starting to talk about kids, and there's this realization that Laudna will also outlive those, and that's when she decides that she needs to do *something*. I don't know whether that's possible, but Matthew! More impossible things have been done in your world!

The Shade Mother! Is she still under Jrusar? It's kinda funny that BH's first main arc ended up with them running away and never finishing there ahaha.

Similarly, will they ever go down to find FCG's coin that Orym had thrown under Jrusar? I know at least some of the cast mentioned being curious about that.

Hey, talking about FCC, will BH Talk with Frida? What about D? Our group really didn't have much time to mourn him, so maybe finding the answers FCG was looking for regarding who he is would be a way for them to process their grief.

(I just had a thought about Ashton going back to Jrusar and Milo without FCG and this broke my heart)

Dorian and his family! He has mentioned them before, and we've met his father, but seeing where he grew up and having him introduce Orym would be nice. And vice versa with Orym introducing Dorian to his family (as his partner instead of his friend). But I'm hopeful this'll get brought up in the finale.

Imodna wedding! Because Laura Bailey deserves to have three weddings one-shot.

More Unseelie stuff! Idk, I feel like there was still more to do wrt Fearne & the Feys.

I'm hoping for a moment with Imogen and her parents in the finale. It's really the end of a big journey for Liliana, but there's another journey to start, about rebuilding (or trying to rebuild) those relationships that got affected by her search for answers. There's a "back from the war" vibe here, and I want to see it.

VM got some pre-campaign comics, M9 got some individual character origins comics, BH also deserves some comics! But what type? I'm not sure how I'd feel if it was exactly as what M9 got, so I'm hoping they'll get some original ideas within the CR crew!

Last (for now) but not least, when is Chetney finally going to die?

[tangent101]

Laudna and Apologies

It was quite telling that Laudna did not apologize during the events of the last game. But there is also a certain... how to put it? I understand the mindset of Laudna in not apologizing... and that is the mindset of the addict and on not wanting to admit fault for her actions.

However, there are two things that happened that I think are going to change things. First, Laudna got her hit. She was given the dagger and sucked it in and sated Delilah's hunger. She gave in. And now the need is... lessened. Delilah will want more, don't doubt that for one moment. She will continue to try and erode Laudna's will. (I have to wonder if the next Will save will be a 19 or 20 to resist, seeing she empowered Delilah.)

Much more importantly, Imogen confronted her. She confronted Laudna not with accusations... but with love. And the look on Imogen's face even as she told Laudna "I love you" just shocked Laudna so immensely because this isn't the first time Imogen has watched Laudna succumb to her addiction. And the first time it happened, Imogen said "You lied!" and fled from Laudna, leaving her alone on the deck of the airship.

Look at what happens in that scene. You see Laudna go from defensive and hostile to panicked and scared at Imogen's actions. She was truly scared she had just lost Imogen. (And Imogen's words... when Laudna asked, almost plaintively, "Do you still love me?" and she responds with "I'll always love you, Laudna. I just don't know what to do with it." Ouch. This was just so... tragic and beautiful and delicious.)

She tries to... downplay it a bit. She tries to... handwave things away, saying "I've always been a lot." Imogen says "Fun scary" and after a tiny bit... I think Laudna caught something in the tone. Or Imogen's facial expression. "Still more fun than scary though, right?" And Imogen's "uh huh" just... didn't quite hold true. Laudna had to ask "Yeah?" and that pause before Imogen said "Yeah." Not supportive. Not handwaving away Laudna's scarying. No. There was thought there. There was the fact Laudna scared Imogen.

That's when Laudna broke. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it." Imogen doesn't respond, just holding her close... one last "I didn't mean it" with Imogen finally responding "I know." The desperation. The need. I think this broke through to Laudna. This was the moment she truly realized what she has to lose.

People comment on Laudna hitting the bottom before she can start to climb out. I think she just did. I think that she's realized at this moment the complete betrayal she did. She was so angry at Ashton for what he and Fearne did. (She wanted that Shard. She needed that Shard. And she was refused it.) She felt he betrayed them all. And then what does Laudna do but steal the blade that she herself stated was Orym's to do with. She hurt him in her hunger. She acted as a thief and refused to accept responsibility, she blamed Orym for what happened rather than her own actions.

And Imogen just broke through that denial, that need. She did this with her love. She did by supporting her and in doing so reminding her what she could truly lose if she followed this path.

Something in me suspects that Laudna's going to apologize at the start of the next game. It's needed. But it's not needed for Orym. It's not even needed for the Hells. It's needed for Laudna herself. It's said that an addict cannot start to recover until they realize they have a problem. (I know this from personal experience with a spouse who was a high-functioning alcoholic.) And while an apology won't be what fixes everything, while Laudna is going to continue to struggle with Delilah... she just had a huge scare here. Imogen never threatened to leave. But Laudna was suddenly petrified that every time Imogen said "I love you" that there was a "but" attached, that Imogen was going to leave.

(Orym made a Pact with the Fatestitcher. He openly admitted to this to everyone. Might not Imogen be the next to make a Pact, to have Nana Morri replace Delilah as her Patron... but not as a selfish and greedy Patron, but one that is perhaps more... whimsical and less demanding? I was quite surprised Laura didn't approach Nana Morri or ask her what could be done. Then again, she might very well have felt Laudna could handle it.)

tl;dr - Laudna's likely going to apologize at the start of the next episode thanks to Imogen just loving her and not pushing her away while also not condoning her actions.