#ALSO MEN I CANT UNDERSTAND KEEP HITTING ON ME

[rainbowgothdisaster]

okay but like i need men to stop hitting on me unless i explicitly express interest bcuz the amount of men that think im cute and the amount of men that wouldnt be detrimental to my psyche is is the smallest fucking vendiagram you will ever see

and also but and also

not single, puh lease stop

[flagellant]

imagine you're born and your parents love you but youre born wrong. not anyones fault. sometimes it happens. except it doesnt matter whose fault it is, you were born wrong, and your parents love you but the world hates and fears you. even as a child. you grow up in this world which sees you as disgusting and evil and a bad omen and you have no one around who can tell you otherwise in any meaningful way. your parents try and help but they cant imagine the things you're going through. you're like a deep-sea fish to them. completely foreign. utterly alien.

this whole world wants you dead and so you say, fine, if i can never be seen as anything but evil then i will choose to embrace it rather than fight it. except you're just a teenager. and you aren't evil. so what you end up doing is hating yourself for being evil (you aren't) and anyway you're terrified that the world wants you and everyone like you dead so you begin finding some comfort in the dead. you learn necromancy both as armor and weapon. finally you feel like you aren't powerless but you're still so lonely.

so your parents couldnt help but youve heard so many stories and legends of your grandmother who also knows magic and you hope beyond hope that maybe if you go to her she can understand you and help you except you meet her and she's angry and mean and grumbling about how her son raised you badly. the only times you hear her praise you is when you discover that despite all your wishes, you are actually extremely good at separating men's ghosts from their bodies. you kill people well and get praised for it and nobody seems to notice or maybe not care that you aren't exactly okay with this and aren't doing well.

rephrase: one guy notices. and he is the nicest guy you have ever met. perhaps even the nicest guy on the whole planet. just the most terrifyingly nicest guy. and he keeps calling you his friend and being nice to you and you're cringing away from him like a dog thats been hit too many times because there is no way that this is actually who he is. real people don't act like he does. real people aren't always nice like he is. it's a trick and you won't fall for it, and anyway, even if he is actually this nice, you don't know how to deal with that even a little bit because if people like him exist then where were they? where were they when you were a child, where were they when you were a teenager? nice things don't get to happen to people like you. you aren't going to fall for it, because if people could be really as nice as you, they would have come before you were this badly wounded. how dare you come to me when i am this and all.

anyway then you try to save a nine year old who was born wrong like you from an adult tormenting and torturing her. and you fail and the nine year old dies and after going through shock you raise her corpse to speak with it and you just confirm to yourself that yeah. yeah, no, you don't get to have nice things. you're only good at one thing and it's death, not life. because if you're good at anything other than death then that just means you werent good enough at life when it actually mattered most.

anyway this was session one for my new bg3 boy and oh boy its all going downhill in the most luscious of ways!

[imagionationstation]

I HEARD YOU TAKE UNHINGED HEADCANON RANTS AND THIS GAYASS FISH HAS RUINED MY LIFE

I have a 2012 rewrite au, and I fell down a rabbit hole solely based on the hc that Xever saw shredder as a vague father figure, and then like all of his interactions with Karai are always “Do you want me to call dad?” “I will kill you?!” “Alright..”

THEY ARE SIBLINGS AND YOU CANT TELL ME IM WRONG

Also there’s enough problematic men in the foot, so I just… hit him w the “I’m not a creep!” ray and he’s just some dude

This is a theatre kid, this man is a professional yapper. Shredder’s mad at him? Turn the conversation around to how sad shredders life is and that he shouldn’t have to be forced to commit atrocities because of Hamato Yoshi. He’s a pr girlie

Also, WHYS HE SO ZESTY????

“I HEARD YOU TAKE UNHINGED HEADCANON RANTS”

Okay, firstly, what grape vine is talking about me and why?

Secondly-

Can you headcanon your own AU?? Is that possible?? Is that a thing people do?? All the potential to say “I think this would be a neat canon” but isn’t not actually canon- this sounded better with every word that came out of my mouth. I am doing this.

AU HEADCANONS, BABY.

I AM THE AU COLLECTOR AND COMMENTER

(Evidently. I’m not sure how that happened, tbh-)

GIMME EVERY AU CONCEPT YOU GOT SO I MAY FEAST

Fair warning to all- when I am invested in a idea, I don’t know how to shut up. So. If you give me an ask, you’re agreeing to everything that comes after. I am not liable for incoming rants.

Xever is all kind of zesty (in AU and canon) because it makes him notable and fun!

I love so many interactions with him and Raphael in canon. There was no better character for him to “understand” than Xever, mkay, I absolutely loved how Baxter's Gambit was handled. They would have been SUCH a duo had they not chosen different sides to fight on and HECK YEAH with the Shredder father figure AU.

In the canon, I wondered about a few things a lot- like, Shredder hunted this man down and broke him out of jail to join his crime syndicate. And for someone who’s supposed to be the best of the best, that man is no match for the turtles. Got to wonder why Shredder wasted his time on Xever or bothered keeping him around after he got mutated when he was such a hassle as a fishy…

He even went as far as keeping a kidnapped scientist to build working legs and breathable air suit for the guy. Like, in all seriousness, for a big evil crime lord who threatens to off them every day, he sure is intent on keeping his lackies around.

BUT ANWAYS-

In regards to your AU, THANK YOU for taking away his creep act because that’s the main reason that he’s not a top fave for me. I don’t know why they reversed the “I’m not a creep” ray for canon, but I guess it was an experiment that they took way too far and couldn’t bring themselves to back out of.

As Karai is an expert manipulator, I’d like to know if she gets her skills from him or if he does from her- or if they adapt from each other. He feeds into the dad’s drama while Karai could not be more fed up with it. The clash over this topic so often. I can see it.

I think it would be ironic for Karai to have an older brother figure who eventually gets brought into the found family because Leo would have to adapt to having MORE older relatives. I like the idea of Xever being a “cousin”, because that would technically make her a cousin too, and Karai sure acts like she’s more of a bossy cousin than an older sister. So it works out.

NO WAIT

Xever has a villain name, right? 😱

Mikey has to villain name a villain mutant- it’s like, 2012TMNT law.

BEING AN AU IS NO EXCUSE /jk

(Completely messing with you. Do as you want.)

[eyelessfog]

Hi everyone, it's me, L's sibling! Guess what we made! Zombieland Saga x My Little Pony AU where the mane 6 and some others are shoved into the roles of FranChouChou and some other major characters! Also I know they would be human-like the way they are in Equestria Girls(but probably better designs) but I want to take a moment to think about ponies dancing onstage the way our beloved undead idols do.

First up!! Roles!! (and some funny thing to think about)

Twilight is Sakura I think this is pretty obvious. Main character, friendship, bla bla. Most importantly, Twilight motherfucking Sparkle getting hit by a truck IMMEDIATELY

Rainbow Dash is Saki Also very obvious, possibly more obvious than Twilight as Sakura. Race, biker, go fast, swears(because I believe with all my heart that if she could, Rainbow Dash would swear), went out in a blaze of glory(twice), multi-colored hair. Basically, the sporty, rude, loud one. Funny things to think about.... went out in a blaze of glory twice. Had an epic rap battle with "Twilight Princess" as L has called her.

Applejack is Ai Keeps to herself sort of, kind of done with the others, the one who actually thinks. Not in a nerd way but with a proper understanding of the real life situation they're in instead of book stuff or the ones who dont think at all. Knows how to work in a group. Smacked Kotaro in the face with a baguette and will fuck his ass up(this will be even more hilarious once you find out who Kotaro is)

Fluttershy is Junko. Shy as hell, gets called a loner, your average <:3 girlie, woman who ran away from getting her picture taken. She gets to obliterate a guitar that belongs to Kotaro(once again, this will become 100x funnier when you find out who Kotaro is)

Rarity is Yugiri This is actually the one that started this all off. L heard Rarity sing in A True, True Friend. Rarity my favorite girl that has now slept with many men and killed a guy once and died for it, but she'd do it again(and says so). Shes also from the Meiji era.

Pinkie Pie is Lily Forever positive and fun loving party girl! Made to be on a stage!! This does make Pinkie and 10 year old [it's L from now on hi guys] but i mean look at them. they make sense. pinkie is the only one who would ever be able to rewrite a song, remake her outfit and then also choreograph a dance that immediately became a tiktok sensation. pinkie transgender canon also

Nightmare Moon [luna] is Tae Girliepop who is herself but fucked up and strange and bites people. It's like. nightmare moon if nightmare moon was Not Luna in a different way from being possessed. just trust me on this its good okay. shes best friends with twilight and at one point grabs her face and goes rag rahahrah rah and twilight goes youre so right. that was so sweet. thank you i love you moon

Spike is Romero Doggy. bork bork bork

Celestia is Kotaro bossman, specifically focuses on twilight, looks like they should be cool but they're the cringiest people you've ever seen, also just all of this. yeah he sucks ass more than she does but she can suck like as a person. for fun. also now she does a talent show trying to do an impression of a mudkip and i can think of few ponies more likely to do that shit

Discord is Jofuku Old man with powers. thats it.

SciTwi is MeiMei one off character who accidentally tripped into the secret of the main guys and uhh she wears glasses and cant see and she gets to be part of the team Once. good for her i guess.

[finitevoid]

i get that like mostly the problem is that i have sleep problems because i have like post traumatic stress disorder or something but also the counter of days hes woken me up at 4 am either yelling, swearing, or slamming doors, usually some combination of the 3, is now at 5. i need you to understand that i keep waking up to the sounds of him yelling. the other day i was roused from a dream about my fanfiction to the dulcet tones of him yelling FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU over and over again for a solid 30 seconds. I have deduced that he is annoyed at the dog. because i will wake up to him yelling. the front door will slam. it will open again. all will be quiet. and then 20 minutes later, just as i am coaxing my prey animal body into going back to sleep again, i hear the dog whine. This is always how it starts. the dog whines and my uncle says No. and then the dog whines some more. and then my uncle says no some more and then the dog whines some more until hes fucking FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH ASSHOLE and then the front door slams again.

the problem with this is that waking up to doors slamming and people yelling makes me have a pretty normal and understandable anxiety response which then causes me to be not only awake but completely alert and aware of all my surroundings as my hell brain decides whether or not there is a threat to my safety. And obviously there isnt but you try to be normal when youre being woken up by a grown man yelling at 4 in the fucking morning. so i wont fall back asleep afterwards, or at least not until like 9 am in which case What, pray tell, is the point,

i have not been able to sleep more than 4 hours a night because he keeps yelling at the top of his fucking lungs before the sun even rises for almost a week. he woke me up through a pair of earplugs on sunday because he slammed his bedroom door so hard it shook the entire wall. i dont know what is happening in his swiss cheese brain that makes him need to act like a teenaged boy on adderall but i am hitting levels of sleep deprivation that are borderline comical. men will see a mouse and eat it men will have to take care of their own pet and scream at the top of their lungs. im convinced the birds outside know his yells. maybe even our neighbors enjoy the sweet sound of Man in his fifties taking out his stress on his dog. if he does not stop soon i am going to . I cant finish this post actually because every way im conceiving to end that sentence would come off as an actual threat

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Domino Effect

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Galatians 3:26 For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+ Proverbs 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM KEEPING THE PEACE

I AM LISTENING

I AM A SOLDIER

I AM STRONG

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

    I have noticed that once something has started, it can't stop, almost like dominos; when I was younger, my parents used to give my sister and me dominos to play with, and we would stack them up, and take turns after building to knock it down and to see them go, it was fascinating to us that we would be entertained for hours and I guess that was the point of it.

   I am going, to be honest: we did it so much that they bought us even more so we could build bigger and better things, but the point of mentioning this is once you hit one, if it is lined up just right, it takes off its no way of stopping it, this is just like an argument once it starts it goes it doesn’t stop until one of the two people or the people that’s in it stop , one of the two have to be the big enough to say I don’t want to fuss I don’t want to fight I just want peace, and the verse is saying that once an argument starts, it's like a breaching dam it's out of control, how out of control do we allow an argument or a disagreement get before we stop it and are we strong enough or willing enough to allow it to stop.

    I have been in decent amount of arguments, and I can say that it must take one person to be the bigger person, but it doesn’t mean they are right. It just means they don’t care to put any more into it; Jesus, when he was here, could’ve fussed and called down angels to strike anyone, but he didn’t. He sometimes let them say things, and he would listen, but if you noticed, he didn’t go back and forth with them because he knew it wasn’t worth it.

 • Verse 19: Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin; whoever builds a high gate invites destruction

•Hebrews 12:14: Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord.

    These two verses show two things that the Holy Spirit wants us to understand: 1. we can’t enjoy quarrels, fights, and arguments, and a lot of people nowadays enjoy fussing and fighting, but as we can see here, the lord says, don’t, he says if you do you love to sin because that’s all that it leads to is sin and then the SECOND THING he is telling us in his word make EVERY EFFORT TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH ALL MEN.

   Many of us don’t want to argue; and then it’s some people they do all they we to fuss with someone to make their point known , but is it worth it; it's not; the verse goes on to say without holiness, we won't see God, and the reason why ,is because when we are walking in holiness, we are walking in perfection we are walking in the image of God. When we try our best to do this, we won't allow what people say to bother us; we won't allow their words to hurt because we know that they are allowing what spirit they are carrying to speak for them, and instead of arguing we take the high ground which is praying for them and the spirit that’s in them.

   We also have to learn that we as believers cant entertain an argument because when we do this, we are letting in anger, aggression, confusion, bitterness, and rage, and all of these are against holiness; we have to understand that is the opposite of how God wants us to live our lives, friends, so if you find yourself in a fuss or a disagreement, we have to take the high road and forgive because we were forgiven,  we never want anything to turn into a domino effect, and that’s what we are allowing to happen when we don’t move pass arguments and disagreement that one problem can cause a domino effect into our lives.

  ***Today, we learned that we could have a domino effect in our lives by allowing one moment to bring spirits into our lives; as we open this door, here comes one after the other. We never want this to happen; we always want to give our thoughts and actions to God. I know sometimes that’s hard to do because we want to be heard; we want our side of things to be understood, but the main thing we must focus on is having peace with all men and taking the high road.

  Every day, we aren’t going to get along with family, friends, or people we meet, but sometimes we must just let someone have their moment and move around them, pray from them, ask God to let them see the error or to just save them from whatever they are dealing with. We sometimes can try to make someone see, but we can’t ,if God can’t make them see what makes us think we can. We just have to allow God to take the reins so we can avoid letting ourselves step out of the light and not allow the domino effect to occur. Avoid this by submitting to God and ignoring the voices of the taunting spirit someone is carrying. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything we ask of you; if the domino effect has happened in our lives, please close every door, and allow us to submit to you. Change us; we want to be like you. We offer ourselves to you. Lord, every day, please continue to give us mercy and grace so that we can walk in you; lord, give us eyes to see and ears to hear; lord, we want to please you with our actions and ways; lord, we give you everything in Jesus Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

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+ Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

 

+ 1 Thessalonians 4:11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you

 

+ Proverbs 29:22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes many transgressions.

========================

FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 10

Numbers 21

Hebrews 6

Hosea 10

=========================

[alicenpai]

reading medalist ch 5+6 ⛸

inori killed a man... two men. gonna hit inori with the monopoly go to jail card

more funny inori faces

ill keep posting about this series as i read until i get bored of typing ahaha. like i said in my previous post, this series hits hard for me so i def want to write about it. i'm having a lot of fun so maybe i'll do it for every series i read from now on?? bc ive noticed with conversations with people, even friends ive known for a while, that often they have no idea what i even like...... im sorry!! im such a lone wolf!!!!!!

spoilers + etc under the cut bc the images were making this post too long (ill only post comedic/non spoilery images before cuts)

why is this guy so fkn edgy for.

EDIT OCT 18 2023 JUST REALIZED THE CAPTION ON THE IMAGE WAS A METAL GEAR SOLID REFERENCE. HOW DID I FORGET I LOVE MGS.

who hurt you. im sure someone did... knowing this manga so far... heh... when hikaru was performing, tsukasa wondered if the dance routine was a famous skater's, but felt a bit off. turns out the routine was choreographed by jun (this guy). i'm wondering if the more experienced, older skater has something to do with jun's attitude...

gay gay homosexual gay

i cant wait for the anime to come out bc i bet there will be yaoi fanart of these 2 (im half joking) (but also i wonder if itll be like when i got into trigun last summer even before trigun stampede was announced and i was like i bet wolfwood/vash are a huge ship....and all of the fanart was from the 2000s. i was like well when it comes out in 2023 i bet there will be an explosion of wolfwood/vash fanart. I WAS RIGHT. I CALLED IT)

their victory dance is so CUTE

again like my previous post, the character progression in medalist is incredibly swift, but also somehow naturally paced and well deserved. albeit the chapters are super long, but only a few chapters ago miketa was bragging to inori about how she's a rebel who doesn't need adults to become a top athlete.

i think it's also an interesting narrative about kids who don't exactly fit in, but in the opposite way of the usual kind of kids who are quiet and shy - about kids who act out, and are aggressive and competitive but can't control their behaviour. and it's even more tragic when they're aware of their actions but still struggle to stop and to ask for help, to only wish to be like the other kids. these kinds of kids also feel alone much in the same way. points to tsurumaikada for really understanding how children work and weaving such insightful narratives into their characters.

[kits-ships]

💕 seraphina!!!

SERAPHINA MY BELOVED....... her lore is ever-changing and confuses me but its ok bc they are so pretty &lt;3

warning: im free-balling everything here. g/ood o/mens lore and the biblical canon are simply suggestions to me. also bonus asmodeus (oc) lore.

tws for abuse, self hatred, and slight eye horror

angel!seraphina:

as an angel, their first job was to design animals to put on earth! she wasn't the only one with that job, of course, but she had the most fun with it! she's responsible for most of the mammalian carnivores that lived around the garden, such as cheetahs, leopards, lions, jackals, hyenas, and wild dogs. because of her enthusiasm, their next assignment was to watch over the aforementioned animals and to make sure that nature was in balance. she was named the angel of the southern savanna at this time :) sera loved her job so much that she may have ignored god's orders to leave the earth during the expulsion of lucifer + his cohorts. unfortunately for sera, a banishing of this size sent waves of horrific energy cascading over the earth and it scrambled their mind. they were essentially hit by the residual energy(?) that makes demons into demons and it put her into a constant state of pain. it also led her to extreme internal conflicts, as the demonic energy was a bit fucky on their angelic body. because she had disobeyed god's orders and wound up hurt, they essentially became a seraphim-turned errand boy. she was not permitted to visit earth, other angels would get mad that she couldn't properly preen herself, and she felt like she was constantly letting others down. in a split-decision, she sneaks off to earth to visit her animals :) and gets kidnapped by the demon, asmodeus.

asmodeus:

asmodeus personifies lust. he always gets what he wants, and he wanted sera (maybe a reference to the book of tobit?). he took them as his supposed 'bride' and kept her around like a glorified doll that he would bite, claw, and toy at all he wanted. imagine like. a dog and its favorite chew toy. asmodeus kept sera for seven hundred years(?) before getting bored of them. she had no fight left in her and it wasnt fun anymore smh

fallen!sera:

heaven was pissed. seraphina hadn't listened to them AGAIN and now she's like, a half-chewed pen cap. whats up with that? was she working with asmodeus? why'd he call them his bride? she isn't trustworthy anymore. the fall changed them and we cant keep her here anymore. bye girl. after this, depending on how im feeling, she either wakes up in a field alone- surrounded by embers from her fall- or cro/wley/azir/aphale find her. she's initially totally blind (it appears to be traumatic glaucoma), theyre covered in blood(??), and is all dirty. plus, her wings are grey now?? seraphina is, understandably, very confused. how could she be bleeding? why arent her wounds healing? and why didnt they sink into hell once she'd fallen?? turns out, hell did NOT want her. she was still too sweet and icky. i like to think jobs family or someones family end up caring for her. whether they just found her or cro/wley + azir/aphale were like "wow u did so good for god. here's an angel pls watch it for us' and sera essentially becomes an heirloom. she's like jemimah's personal barbie doll. sera will eventually get up and leave to figure stuff out, but theyre mostly a hermit until the 1800s.because human life is scary and feeling like a mortal is weird!!! what is she supposed to do?? luckily, having an angel and a demon around is nice. she finds them and gets in on their shenanigans here and there until the azir/aphales magic show. at that point shes like "woa. these guys are silly ;)" and returns to land they'd bought in mayfair a lil bit ago. sera also eventually opens a plant nursery beneath her house, but no one knows how it stays open since her chronic pain makes her hours super erratic

demon!sera

i don't know how demon!sera becomes a thing. maybe they just fall straight to hell like they were supposed to. as a demon, sera either changes their name to abaddon or baphomet. abaddon because theyre said to be tied to destruction and chaos, which would result from sera's anger towards everything, and baphomet because i think theyre cool :) baphomet also represents social order, which id say is fitting for someone who, in an au, is stuck between heaven and hell. they also kept nature in balance on the savanna, so demon!sera, like their newly, fallen-angel self, is mostly blind. they see light and darkness and very blurry shapes. as abaddon, their irises are split and look like splotches, and, as baphomet, they have horizontal slit irises like a goat's. maybe horns, too. they are also much angrier and prone to outbursts when compared to their angel self and is disgusted by themselves. they hate being a demon and they hate everyone who has. abaddon would use this rage to mostly create natural disasters, and baphomet would use it to insist on forcing things into balance- even when it would cause lots of people pain. i dont know if that makes sense they are also represented by the komodo dragon :) and they tear asmodeus to shreds. demon!sera may also be venomous.

[niko-jpeg]

I'm Tired Man.

(Long winded vent below)

I'm tired of bad news. Every day I wake up and I see more and more bad news. Especially when it comes to trans issues and mental health. When I say the world is out for me and people like me I mean it. My state made it illegal for teachers to call students anything but their birthname at the beginning of the year. There are threats to remove trans stories and mental health stuff from the internet and people who want me gone want that more than anything. These conservatives think I'm a confused child and trans men are misguided and trans women are predators. And I Can't do anything to fix it or protect myself because of where I am and my family. And if I lose the ability to discuss this stuff online without my parents knowing? I just cant.

I'm tired of doing what I can as a person in my own borderline unsafe place and being told I'm not doing enough. I'm so sick of seeing posts than are essentially saing 'you're a bad person and 'happy' insert holiday here for everyone but me please donate and reblog or you're a bad person'. I do not have money. I feel selfish because I can't do anything and I am literally just trying to survive. I've nearly blockd a couple of tags over this. I understand we're all in need but when I say I am genuinely going insane. Every day I puprosefully try a little harder to get hit by a car on my way to school. I've tried to kill myself twice this week and just can't take it anymore.

I can't keep doing this. I'm sorry I can't help and all I can offer is the occasional reblog but I'm literally trying to keep myself fucking alive. I'm at my breaking point and its literally killing me. I've been sick for two weeks. I'm in constant pain. I have no energy to draw or write or do anything at all. And being told i'm a bad person for not being able to handle other peoples situations on top of mine? Its making it worse. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't take it.

Theres a reason my posts have been less and less frequent. My feed is nothing but bad news and people also crying out for help and I just can't anymore.

I'm trying, okay? But I can't do much and I swear to god if someone says 'well you can do this' dude. You're missing the point. I AM TRYING TO STAY ALIVE. I have to fight to keep myself alive right now and Im so tired.

I want it to end. Please, just let it fucking end. I don't want to be Nikolai anymore. I just want to go home. Im tired of being mistreated and verbally thrown around and overworked. I'm tired of expectations I can't fill and I'm tired of being accused of being a bad person. God, just let me die.

[littleonekitten]

does anyone else’s depression hit at night time? I can be fine… all day, until after midnight and then for some reason just.. all of the sad comes out. I don’t know what it’s from, or why, but it’s just tears flowing and that achy feeling in your heart and then the pit in your stomach and the shake and pain in your head from anxiety.

Why is it that woman have to always overcompensate in relationships- let me explain before I get canceled. Females, have you ever noticed the moment a man takes interest in you, or your talking/ flirting, and you go out a few times and you genuinely have a great time and you think you like him then BAM. A red flag, it’s something small but it bothers you… but you just push it away because “well there’s other green flags, and he seems nice” and all of this other stuff.. TO MAKE HIM LIKE YOU. I’ll share this story, it was the first few dates with my ex and it was great, he was nice, and polite and drove safe and all of that.. until he made a sexist joke, a border line woman hating joke.. and I say there and looked at him and I laughed. I CANT BELIVE I LAUGHED. Did I think it was funny? No. Did I agree with it? Absolutely not and I wanted to punch him after it. But it was fine right? It was only one joke. Then it became a few more.. my laughs decreased and I told him I don’t think they are funny- “but it’s just a joke” when it’s not, there’s an underlying misogynistic truth and some CLEAR toxic masculinity. He stopped doing it around me.. until we were with his best friend, and they would constantly still make those jokes.. and you know what I would do? Laugh. Because I wanted him to like me and I wanted to be polite even though he knew how I felt about it. So why do we do that? Why do we have to make men like us all of the time? Is it because we like the attention or feeling of validation? We tie into knots for no reason, and for some reason if there’s ever a red flag small enough we ignore it… and we continue our relationship with that person. Why is it in a relationship our standards start out so high, then begin to lower? But when we keep those standards then it’s “unrealistic” I’m feeling really defeated about that, yes.. my ex had some great qualities- but looking back on it there were so many things I literally ignored because my standards then came a little above bare minimum while also having my own wants and needs- while also THE BARE MINIMUM was so hard to accommodate or meet because that requires putting in the work. Why is it when it comes to relationships in my luck it’s always wanting to work for each other and save the relationship it’s always my partner just can’t do because “it’s not them, or who they are”. If it’s something small, even if you don’t understand why and can create a happier relationship and I’m bringing that energy to that conversation as well why not?- anyways, that turned into a ramble, but basically why is it that our standards lower and we hold ourselves fs less accountable while in a relationship then as soon as we get out it’s so easy to get over someone. As soon as you think of one red flag thing it just gives the ick and validates your self worth.

My healing process has been weirdly okay. Like I’m okay, I’m not sad, angry or disappointed. I don’t want him in my life. I’m content with that. I’m finding new ways to heal and keep myself busy while also taking care of myself. The thought of him or being with him gives me so much anxiety that it can send me into like a pre panic attack state. So now it’s how to get rid of the thoughts of him. I’ve done a lot of work on that but he will still pop in my head a few times a day. I don’t know why I’m as okay as I am. I loved him, I thought I was gonna marry him, but for some reason it’s like my walls go back up and I’m going to have some more relationship tramua and trust issues for the next partner. Which I’m not looking forward to having that conversation. I think part of me is sad that I’m okay. I don’t think I ever give myself to grieve. If I do, I know I will fall down a hole, and not take care of myself, if I don’t let me grieve then I don’t have to deal with it. If I give myself fake confidence and “badass bitch” energy I don’t have to worry about it. I feel like it can be such a toxic thing but it’s the only tool I have.

[killlavendr]

1: no

2: dark emerald green - cuz greens the slytherin color and dark emerald green is pretty

3: scar from the lion king but less evil

4: yes bro gets no bitches🙏😭

5: no

6: Russian, german, or latin (but I think he already knows a bit of Latin)

7: prof. Mcgonagal

8: slytherin?

9: I think he likes rich foods. And bitter foods. I don’t think he likes too much sugar. Favored drinks consist of red wine, water, firewhisky, and coffee (he could use a pepper up but he likes the taste better lol). For foods, I hc he has rather expensive taste. Seafood, fancy salads and soups, caviar, ect. Also a ton of arugula in those salads

10: hmmm no

11: this is dumb af but when Umbitch is like “so you originally applied for the DADA position?” “..yes.” “And you were not accepted?(or smth like that)” “..obviously not…” LMAOAOAO the sass and then him hitting Ron w a book I love it

12: Hermione, I think she’d be most likely to try and understand him and would snitch tf out of James, Sirius, Peter, ect. They’d be friends i think

13: yes + I stan him (both of them) + I literally can’t imagine anyone else playing him

14: muffliato. He wants to keep hearing those annoying ass kids to a minimum so he uses it whenever he’s alone and/or grading papers

15: reading. For a bonus I think his favorite genre would be horror (he thinks it’s funny. “Hah- that’s not what intestines look like.”)

16: when I was like five I didn’t like him. Then I got back into HP when I was 12 and thought he was hot

17: yes💀

18: his hair (in the movies) and nose

19: summarized - he’s an asshole

20: I literally don’t know

21: considering this hoe has had like 2 good memories in his lifetime probably just hanging out w Lily

22: Ehhh yeah probably but her holding back laughter when he was getting bullied + publicly humiliated is a red flag so idk

23: lingerie ..NAH NAH JKJKJKJ LMOAOAO but idk that button up shirt thing he has and just some black dress pants😭 also if this counts i hc he has a tattoo of lilies on his right shoulder

24: yeah

25: yes - in general or in HP? I’ll answer for both. Mitsuri Kanroji from kny - no😭 I think she’d like his emoness cuz she’s at least a little bit in love with almost everyone but also be scared of him💀 and Snape would hate her. For HP - no I don’t think him and Ron get along

26: horror I already said that tho

27: yeah I do

28: yeah because I have daddy issues and are more (non romantically) attracted to men who are fucking mean and I have to actually work to make them like me. Man I’m messed up

29: very plain but also fancy if that makes sense?? Like I think he would keep decorations to a minimum, have a slytherin tapestry on the wall or smth, velvet curtains, keeps his desk very clean, dark colors, green and black bed cotton bed, ect. Almost no clutter if not none

30: don’t bully ur students when you become a teacher u asshole Ik ur life sucks but don’t take it out on random ass 14 year olds (him staring at me like 🤨??? In response) also let’s kiss

31: yeah - depression 🤪🤪🤪 cuz his life is an actual dumpster fire. I think it gets rly bad in the winter and he gets more irritable. And OCD but that’s just a lil headcanon I just think he’s very obsessive about being clean to a point it’s unhealthy

32: idk sneepyheepy??? Severus Sneepyheepy Snape lololol

33: Lady fingers, Clair de lune, 月亮代表我的心. HE IS THE BIGGEST FUCJING TERESA TENG FAN EVER U CANT CHANGE MY MIND

34: every single snape ship I don’t like any of them

35: no he has no friends (other than mcgonagal but he won’t admit she’s his friend.)

Snape:“I don’t have friends..I am the night.”

Students: “OMG SNAP IS BATMAN!”

36: I think he gets nauseous when he has a lot of stress and gets crazy painful stomachaches. Also I’m self projecting that happens to me when my anxiety gets super bad and holy shit those stomachaches make me go violent

37: his hair. It’s described as rly greasy but in the movie his hair is LUXURIOUS AND FLUFFY pls snape take some advice from snape

38: his hair. It’s described as rly greasy but in the movie his hair is LUXURIOUS AND FLUFFY pls snape take some advice from snape

39: Fall. Not too cold but not too hot. Is happiest on cool mildly windy days

40: hmmm idk hanging out w Lily, reading abt magic, and crying

41: His bitchass dad

42: probably as a kid but quickly learned that he didn’t want anybody to see that side of him

43: i already mentioned this but the lily tattoo

44: definitely floo

45: aroace. I have a post abt this but I actually hc that snape didn’t have romantic feelings for Lily but has a hard time differing platonic and romantic feelings so he thought he did if that makes sense

46: Remus..if he didn’t almost kill him😭

47: like 2..oh for slytherin too? Then like 40,000 or smth

48: yeah he was like too obviously evil to actually be evil

49: tall for sure - I don’t think he’d be nearly as intimidating as he’s described if he was short

50: yeah I think so I also think he would’ve been a bit nicer (maybe I’m letting my hopes get the best of me tho)

Snape asks

Do you have a snOTP? What is it?

What do you think is Snape's favourite colour and why?

Which Disney character, according to you is most like Snape?

Do you think Snape remained a virgin?

Do you think Snape ever loved anyone other than Lily, romantically or platonically?

If Snape learnt another language, which would he choose?

Which staff member do you think gets along well with Snape?

If you had to assign Snape to a house, which one would it be?

What are your personal headcanons on Snape's diet and favourite foods?

Do you think Snape's character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Your favourite scenes with book/movie!Snape?

If you had to chose a Golden trio era student to be Snape's friend, who would it be and why?

Do you think Alan Rickman contributed to your love for Snape?

What do you think is Snape's favourite potion to prepare?

If Snape had any free time, how do you think he would spend it?

Were you ever a Snater? How and when did you become a Snover?

Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Your favourite physical feature of Snape?

According to you, what is Snape's biggest flaw?

Why do you love Snape so much?

What particular memory do you think Snape used to conjure his patronus?

Do you think Lily was a good friend to Severus?

What do you think Snape wore under his robes?

Do you think Snape ever self-harmed?

Is there any other character you love as much as Snape? Do you think they'll get along?

What genre do you think Snape preferred to read?

Do you think Snape was close to his mother?

Do you think you'd like being taught by Snape?

How do you headcanon Snape's bedroom would look like?

If you could give young Snape any advice, what would it be?

Do you think Snape had any mental illnesses? Which ones and why?

If you could change Snape's middle name to be something other than Tobias what would you choose?

Top 3 songs you think will show up in Snape's most played?

Do you have any Snape NOTPs?

Snapey BROTPs?

Did Snape get sick often? Your headcanons for when he was sick?

Snape didn't pay attention to his physical appearance, but if you had to choose a part he would take care of, which would it be?

Which type of weather does Snape prefer?

How do you think Snape spent his early childhood days?

Other than Lily, who do you think impacted Snape's life the most?

Is there a side to Snape that he hasn't let anyone see? What do you headcanon this "secret personality" to be like?

Do you think Snape cried often?

What's your favourite headcanon about Snape? Is there a movie/song/book that reminds you of Snape?

What mode of magical travel would suit Snape the best?

Your opinion on Snape's sexuality?

Which of the Marauders do you think Snape could have gotten along with?

How many points do you think Snape would've awarded during his career?

Did you feel Snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

Do you prefer tall!Snape or short!Snape?

Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

Reblog and let your followers ask more about how you think of Snape :3

[the-firebird69]

Watch "10cc - I'm Not In Love" on YouTube

No this creep cant exist yeah he does he's one of the worst of you idiots but this is what your like, granted a lot of you don't do this kind of thing but you think stupid s*** like this. He killed his girlfriend and left to stay in the wall we shot her in the head and it's a breeze went all over and he covered with a painting after he wiped it off and she's still alive but without her brain she has a robotic brain that's what this fool is singing. Now I want him dead and ASAP and it's Tommy f

Hera

What a disgusting swine. I'm putting the hit on him, and he's been shooting at me in the past just a few years ago so we're going to shoot at him the same injuries until he's out

Zues

I hear my man and I love him and he's going to take care of this

Hera

It's nothing personal against you too it was an argument I had with a woman and she was too pushy and insisted that she told people so I took care of the issue and now she's obedient and I'm saying I'll make him obedient and he says thank you for saying something stupid like that and I don't understand it he says I will shortly so what's going on like this I sort of know the bath and I threatened it and it get hit and pretty soon I'll be out like he says probably should be that's as sick as it gets

Tommy f

Yeh your an animal and a dimented one. Women like to tell people if they found someone but you my friend are a dead pig because you abuse it your toy with them and then you kill them to have them do what you want and your new friend of mine and you never were you trying to attack me I'm going to kill you by hand just for the sheer pleasure of it

Zues

I noticed something you do you hate me he says who gives a s*** you don't have any feelings at all you remove them a long time ago you're just a homo I do get something a lot of people are calling me that you're nothing special tommy f all these cloners remove their heart too they just trash moving in the wind waiting to be ignited I sort of understand something it's kind of an attitude problem. It says I'm a pubescent f** and a w**** you're getting rid of my own people all the time and not feeling anywhere I just got no room for someone was just a piece of s*** I do follow something it's probably true but I don't want to put up with it anymore now it says he's hitting at all the people who are supposed to do stuff and I can watch him die he might fill the room up in the house up with heads so I can wake up encased with them says hes had this teams do that plenty of times. I did something too this man is so full of hatred for us he says no it's for you Tommy f and for people who demand themselves on purpose further than what they already are to try and do stuff and you have dead anyways faster it ain't worth it for humanity to keep people like you around and I'm starting to figure out something let's try to fight with him I'm just going to finish it he says why don't I try and eat my way out of the heads of my own men to escape now I don't want to be there I just want me to him and he says he says move go away you're just a stupid s*** routine and be happy to blow the smitherines... I sort of see something it's not entertained by a stupid shows watching a shoot each other here and there sitting here threatening him. He also says it's no lesson that we ever learned surround someone with heads they wake up and start screaming and need to be put down almost immediately so I'm starting to see something it's a distance and it's given it out plenty of times I don't believe him and I don't know what the hell's going on

Tommy

Won't save you lol ignorance ok Tommy f

Hera really I said it Zues

Now I see something you said I'm not going to do that yet to you but then I have to back off and I'm saying it's a retard that killed and it says you have to be s******* me. Yeah this is not a nice guy it's not something to bring home and tell your friends use your bud it's been acting that way, and he says he makes weapons that kill people not entertain people events other things but give me a break. So I know it's stupid and he says he has thousands of things he does to people to try and shut them the f****** and the idiots are chirping like little cable is 24/7 around him sitting there wiping your forces out taking everything you have and it won't shut the f****** I sort of get something we started a fight with him in a war with him and we're going to lose everything including Stone chips and he says thank you I forgot to put this out there

Tommy f

They are hardening and we mean some others and not just Trump the limestone that is in a similar area where the bridge is going it's not at the river it's one about 300 miles away when 200 and 1 350 mi away and all of them are kind of a different areas and they're all 200 miles plus away from the bridge and none of them are near the lay down area and they're hard to get down to test it and they're trying different methods below ground several of them say the results are stunning all of them say we got the method from Tommy f

Hera Zues I was saying this part Hera

We approved this message and tell me if you're a fruitcake we do millions of things like that and he's only got a few thousand because we've been doing to people like you for a long time and boy are you a slow piece of s*** and you people around it and forgotten who and what we are maybe you should tell people tell me if back off this is what they do for a living it's like those egotarians that you try to say you are on occasion in movies and it just doesn't come out right and it doesn't fit you and can't hold it it also old school and I have demons do stuff really it's sad what's going on here nobody cares what happens to themselves

Olympus

[joshriku]

Hello! do you have any cherik fic recs?

i have . so many. (pukes and cries) this is gonna be long but to start off i'm gonna give you my ultimate faves of like. each iteration. so i can be insane. i won't make summaries bc im bad i will just tell you how insane i am.

general thing that none of these have a sad ending or triggering topics bc im. im . I Like Happiness

-curses that can't be lifted by sotano: see. this is about cherik early comics canon right. when they just met in haifa. AND OOOOOOO GH oGH oghghgOGOH I LOVE LEAVING COMMENTS. I LEAVE LONG COMMENTS. I AM VERY ILL IN THE BRAIN WHEN IT COMES TO LEAVING COMMENTS. BUT I LITERALLY STILL CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY IN THIS BC I LOVE IT SO MUCH. LIKE ILL COME AROUND EVENTUALLY OF COURSE. BUT IVE READ IT LIKE 50 TIMES AND ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME DERANGED i was reading it yesterday again. as i do. and i had to close the tab bc it made me so unwell. i'm so normal

-afterlife by anna: this fic is so good but for my mental health it's in shambles. You don't get it. i'll be pacing around my room thinking back of scenes in this and im like ALRIGHT. PAUSE TO THROW UP AND CRY. EVER SINCE IVE READ THIS I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME DO YOU UNDERSTAND. IT'S POST DAYS OF FUTURE PAST AND THAT MAKES ME SO ILLLLLLL I LOVE DOFP SO BAD AND I LOVE CHARLES IN IT AND im like oh man i need something to make me cry and puke and shit myself and cure my depression im gonna read that fic again. And i do it. and i am cured. after i cry myself out to this i am so normal again

-someplace that is green by mugsandpugs: oh my god. Also bad for my mental health like (pucnhign myself) YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. it's technically x-men evolution but if you know cherik you'll understand it either way so. just. wow. erik can fit so much trauma. I can fit so many emotions. i can be so mentally ill. IREAD IT SO MUCH LIEK THE SLOOOOOWWBWBURRNNNNNNNNN AHH AHH AHH (PUKES AND CRIES) AHH WANDA AND PIETRO. AH. DEAR GOD. U DONT GET IT !!!!!! THE WORLDBUILDIGN!! (curls up and cries)

ok yeah. i'll put under the cut all the other recs i have sorry for being unwell

you should read everything by ao3 user sotano btw. not to be demented or deranged. but they never miss. everything they ever write is so . Oh my god. U dont get it. im ill. i will buy them a house

-tabula rasa by o2doko: the telepathy exploration of this goes so fucking hard

-fair verona by ha_neul: i love gender so much you don't ungerstand trans fics are the world to me they really arre

-tesselation by nekosmuse: oh my god. i mean it's a popular fic so it's probably been read. BUT THE SLAY. GOD. THE WRITING. PUKES AND DIES

-travel advisory by penknife: SORRY FOR RECCING 2003 FICS BUT FLOGOGHGOGOGH THE 2003 PEOPLE GOT IT IN WAYS NOBODY ELSE DIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

-no capes by dedkake: this just hits all the spots of needing lighthearted comedy and keeping the magneto / professor x dynamic i so desperately crave. i love when authors play around with their identities while loosely sticking to canon hehe

-all these miles (just to get back home) by isthiswhatiam: you gotta read everything he posts tbh BUT this one is my personal fav i love post dark phoenix u_u

-in dreams begin responsibility by kass: im telling u the pre 2011 fics go so hard. and for what. My god. uim ill it's so good

-sweet by sadbigchungus: its so good. Do u know how fukcing hard it is to get krakoa cherik content. hard. but this hits all the sweet spots i love it so much it's so good

-a good night's sleep by insertsthmeaningful: Can i just say this author writes so much good fic and i am absolutely obsessed. as well as im obsessed w post assassination in xforce cherik like aoghogogjogghOGGH

-the way it travels in and keeps emitting light by populuxe: it's OGHGOGH i love reading this one. it's so hard to find fics that actually talk about disabilities and this one does it SO well and erik is SO perfect in this fic im sick!!

-a nice boy (the family matters edition) by pocky_slash: i don't wanna talk about how hard i cry when i reread this one i might have family issues of sorts.

-a winter's journey by red: i love old cheirk so mcuh it makes me want to eat my ownf oot

-the trouble with trilbies by obstrinatix: I LOVE. OLD MEN. CHERIK

-& other words by questors: this is so good like the worldbuilding genuinely floors and runs me over until im nothing but an useless dough

-necessary downtime by unforgotten: i . old cherik. Ogjjgjkrlgjlslkfd

-bug on a plate by lindstrom: ANOTHER ONE THAT ACTUALLY DESCRIBES DISABILITIES SUPER WELL AND DOESNT SHY AWAY FROM THEM ITS A HITTTT AND MIDDLE AGED CHERIK JUST HTIS DIFF SORRY

-the last love song and testament of charles f xavier by midrashic: u know what i said about liking afic so much u cant actually bring urself to properly word the comment so youre just waiting and waiting to properly say smth. Yea thats me w this fic too. why's it so fucking good. how am i meant to word my emotions. but hey if i got around to commenting on Afterlife i will to this

-one second and a million miles by madneto: nothing has ever put me through such a slowburn like this fic like it was so insane and crazy i felt like god was slapping me. PLUS. IRENE AND RAVEN ARE IN IT......SLAY!

-bloodbound by ikeracity: u know i didnt care about vampire fics until THIS ONE. WHERE I WAS LIKE. OH. OKAY. THEYRE GOOD ACTUALLY I SEE THE LIGHT IT MAKES SENSE NOW.

-the golden mean by somuchmorethanyouknow: IT'S SO GOOD OK. THE WAY I WISH THIS FIC WAS CANON JSUT BC IT WAS SO GOOD. THE GENOSHA BUILDING OF IT ALL. MY GODDDDDD! I LOVED IT. SO PAINFULLY GOOD. THE WRITING OF CHARLES AND EIRK IS SO EXCEPTIONAL BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FIC TOO. AH

-make me stay by lynds: well. what can i say. who's to say no to a little telepathy play. sorry for liking bottom erik. as if it's my fault

-before you attempt me (fair warning) by kianspo: i read this one time i was really sad and i shouldnt have because i started crying about never being able to find a love like the one in this fic. anyway it's super good

-everything about it is a love song by pocky_slash: its bad for me. old cherik makes me go through itnso much. i cant believe ill never find love like this

-feels like you're mine by annejumps: Sorry for bottom erik enthusiast. AS IF ITS MY FAULTNTO HAVE SUCH GOOD TASTE

-because it's you that sets the test by equestrianstatue: [DERANGED NOISES] IM LIKEBSO CASUAL ABOUT THIS FIC IM NOT EVEN MENTALLH ILL.

-special studies in mutant topics by populuxe: my ao3 bookmark says "filed under fics i read while having a mental breakdown and saved my mental health" you can bet its so good and sexy and Oghgogngntnntnngng i will have to marry this authors writing style. SUBBING TO THIS AUTHOR ISNT ENOUGH I HAVE TO BUY THEM DINNER IDK

but also the sex thing: this fic ruined my ability to watch dofp. no matter how many times i watch it ill be quoting this fic along to it

thats it. for Now. i actually have more but some of them are just the real popular ones so im like. Yeah youve read it. BUT THE REST MIGHT BE FOR NEXT TIME. I GUESS. SORRY. THIS GOT OUT OF HAND

[slytherinbarnes]

2x07

abby already pissing me off. i thought we went a little longer before she starts being hypocritical but she's ordered the evacuation and is telling miller's dad and the other parents of the 47 that they have to leave their kids behind in the mountain. and miller's dad is like ??? u got your kid back, dont make me leave mine. just order me to stay. and she still refuses?? rewind two episodes ago where she took shock lashings bc she armed bell and finn (and kinda lead to the massacre of the grounder village tbh) and she's just like whatever now. if ur gonna stand on business for your kid, u gotta respect when other parents do the same???

coming off that idea, i think that's why the delinquents work together so well. bc even if someone missing or in danger isnt important to them personally, they join in looking for them bc they mean somehitng to someone else. that obvi isnt the case in the beginning, but i think they hit their groove pretty fast and own up to their shitty decisions better than the adults do. abby has already started her 'she's just a kid' schtick with clarke, which we all know isnt true anymore

here comes the bone marrow idea :/

FIRST CLEXA MEETING FIRST CLEXA MEETING

clarke really saw lexa in that chair with her make up and she was instant heart eyes. she was also quaking in her boots when lexa told her to prove lincoln is not a reaper, bc she knows damn well she left that man unconscious in the dropship lmao

it's interesting that cage's humanity is tied to his father's. like he balks at first when dr. tsing wants to kill the 47 for their bone marrow, bc he's thinking of his dad and how he will never agree. make no mistake, he's fucked up, bc the reapers are his project, and he enjoys turning men into monsters a little too much. he's just not as extreme as dr. tsing in the beginning, who is fully ready to let anyone die so she can live on the ground. anyways, started thinking about that when both cage and dante were up on the surface for their little jaunt in the flowers and rain

i am curious what lengths most of us would go to to be on the ground, bc im thinking about my seasonal depression and wondering how quickly i would go stir crazy in the mountain

oh wait dante just said somehting interesting to cage when he asked to use the bone marrow!!! 'we are the keepers of history. what we have done to the outsiders has stained our legacy, i cant go further down that road'. so like...why? i understand why they use the acid fog to keep them away, but why allow cage to create the reapers? if he sees it as such a stain in their legacy, why do it??

clarke is absolutely shitting bricks when they get to the dropship lmaooo

harper being the first marrow patient :(

currently rewatching the 100 while i do my lil crafts and i want a place to drop live thoughts

1x13

obvi decided to do this after almost finishing s1 but i just watched the ark separate from go sci and i am tearing up a lil bit i wont lie. like ugh s1 jaha was so fucking good and then he quite literally becomes the worst lmao

also this will be so controversial but as i was rewatching s1, i do not.....hate finn...... stop throwing rocks at me!!!!! he was a dumb teenager who thought he would never see raven again and yeah he handled it badly and yeah he definitely fucks up big time next season, but i was a big idiot at 17 so i cant say i blame him tbh. like, he's v likeable and i love how much he fights for peace and the way he is so affected by his first kill in the reaper tunnels with clarke

oh kinda on that note, my fave clarke kill is her first non mercy kill. obvi atom is the first official, but i think we really overlook that first grounder she ever killed with the scalpel when her and finn were kidnapped to save anya's second. like eliza is so good with her microexpressions and while she isnt as affected as finn, u can see so much pass over her face in such a short time

okay also s1 kane is so fucking annoying but i love his arc so i am accepting it

and lincoln!!!!! the man that you are!!!!!!! we deserved more time with you

[matan4il]

Sorry this might be long so I will try not to ramble. But I was talking to my husband about my ships and was trying describe Eddies sexuality but I cant think of what it would be and I really hate labels.

But to be honest for a while I clocked him almost a little A sexual. Because that first Taylor interaction at first I thought he was gonna hit on her but no he just didn't like her talking to Buck. It was clear he had no interest in Maddie, he was like I'm here for Buck and pizza and to show we dont know how to move a couch. Even the crossover it didn't seem flirty to me. He talked about Buck to each person and he was so giddy to see him at the end.

But you contrast that to how tactile he is with only Buck and Christopher. Like them leaving the bar when they keep bumping shoulder in 2 4, it reminded by of lions in the jungle lol. Like if I was watching 2 big cats rub their scent together. He almost subconsciously mimics Bucks over tactile exhibitionist tendacies but still only with Buck. And Buck being who he is hasn't really noticed that it's kind of weird. They both aren't Captain Obvious.

So I was wondering if that last scene after the hostage situation when he goes home to just Chris. It almost played out like his story line was supposed to mirror the convicts. Could it be that he just loves Buck, not men but Buck and he knows he can never let a women into his life because he can never not emotionally cheat on them with Buck. And he thinks Buck is straight and with Taylor.

So he was almost killing off a part of him and just committing to Chris.

I dont know maybe I read to much into it because those 2 have always fasinated me in their dynamics. Like how Buck just always assumes if your talking about the most handsome person in the room, clearly you mean Eddie. And Eddie doesn't think its weird he's choosing his bestie to be his kid's gaurdian when he has a whole damn family.

Hi Nonnie! Aaawwww, I love that you get to talk to your hubby about this show and Buddie, I think that's a sign of a really great marriage! ;)

And I get what you mean about Eddie, he was also SO not interested in every woman we've seen coming onto him on calls (the ones in 204 as an example) just to add to your list.

But yeah, I can see him not being able to open up and get together with Ana, despite how perfect she was supposed to be for him and Chris on paper, because really, he wasn't following his heart and he already gave his heart to Buck before he even started dating Ana (since we now know he made Buck Christopher's legal guardian back at the end of 315). You're not reading too much into that last point, I've said it before as well, since ep 303 that it says A LOT, how Eddie trusts Buck with Chris over his actual family.

I can def see your understanding of the end of 506 and how it works with where Eddie is right now, in fact I very much like your take on it! I also think Eddie is a complex character, who doesn't always fully understand himself because he's so used to pushing his feelings out of the way, so whenever he'll finally admit that what he feels for Buck isn't just platonic (and I agree with everything you said about how tactile he's been in their relationship, the way he steadies himself by touching Buck and how he comforts Buck with touches, too) it could be interesting to see how he explains it to himself, or whether he even does... it could be he'll come to the conclusion he doesn't need to. He's in love with Buck, he's admitted it, and as long as he's honest about it, it doesn't matter what the term for it is... Nonnie, there are so many options for great storytelling here, I just want us to get there and get to see it already! XD

Thank you so much for sharing, lovely! Please feel free to send more if and when you feel inspired to! xoxox

To anyone else who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox

[onlymexsarah]

Prince Friedrich | Amore e Psiche

MAIN MASTERLIST

Request 1: “ i loved both jealousy and taste of sin so much!! 😍😍you literally made my day better. i would love to see more of them together. maybe how them courting or their first encounters? 😇🥲”

Request 2: “ I cant say i saw anything wrong with your prince friedrich imagine. I actually really fooocking loved it 🥰 💕!! It was so 🥰 cute!! I need more! Would you be willing to do a prequel of sorts where she met him and their walks in the park? Or even from his perspective of his first thoughts of the reader? “

Summary: (This is the prequel of “Prince Friedrich | Jealousy”) the behaviour of your sister Daphne brought you to meet Prince Friedrich at the ball with the Queen. 

Pairing: Prince Friedrich x Bridgerton!reader

Warnings: my english :)

A/N: For this one I got inspired by the story of Cupid and Psyche, if you don’t know it I leave you there a summary because there will be many allusions at their story ;)

SEQUEL 1 - SEQUEL 2

“Do you think that he will speak german? Or maybe he knows english? Oh, do you recon if His Highness had ever travelled?” you asked excited at your brother, Benedict, while you entered at the ball.

“I do not know, sister. You can ask these question to him personally, tonight.” he said ironical smiling at the Lords who walked beside you. 

“If he will have time for them, my dear brother. I am sure that if he’ll want peace he will have to disappear somewhere where the Ladies will be not able to find him.” you both laughed searching around the room your sister Daphne.

“Be careful with that tounge, Y/n. You know that I love you for that, but not many Lords will think the same.” he warned you kindly knowing that your temper wasn’t like the others Ladies.

“Fortunately I don’t want many Lords. I think that Lord de Bethencourt had hit the right string in me, and he likes me for who I am, Benedict.” you smiled thinking about your suitor, Lord de Bethencourt, that since the first ball had started courting you as a true gentleman without boring or offending you in any ways. “Look, there is my sister with...Simon.” 

Benedict could hear your smirk even without looking at you, indeed his attention was captured by the opening of the large doors followed by the entrance of Queen Charlotte with her nephew, Prince Friedrich of Prussia. 

“Oh, they are arri...ved....” your breating stopped for few seconds causing Benedict to look at you; however your gaze was fixed on the guy who’s arm was intertwined with the Queen’s. You would had sworn to have seen Cupid himself revealing his face for the first time as he did with Psyche after their marriage. When his eyes met yours, you were sure that Canova must had taked ispiration from him for Cupid’s sculpture, because never in your life you had ever seen such beauty as the Prince himself.

“I will be not surprise when you will drag Colin in Prussia at your next travel.” Benedict joked smirking looking the Prince who now was approaching your sister. 

You woke up from your dreams blinking many times to understand what was happening. The Prince now was speaking with Daphne but at some point she laughed, and from his face you could see that he hadn’t say something funny. “Well, surely now he knows how the Bridgertons are.” you said shrugging slightly keeping your elegant posture. “One of us should go and apologies for her.”

You looked Benedict, he looked you. Both wanted to send the other because neither of you liked to speak with the Queen. “Look your Charming Prince is coming, I must let you to know him.”

“What! No you must stay here and intimidate him! It is what you brothers are made for.” you tried to keep his arm in your hands without looking clumsy, but obviously he was stronger than you.

“Trust me, sister, you can intimidate him perfectly by yourself.” he gave you one last smirk before slipping away among the people leaving you alone. You heard the heels of the Queen approaching, and with still your amused smile you turned around ready to meet them.

The Prince’s eyes were already on you making your cheeks turned into a soft pink. His smile suggested you that he had assist at the scene with your brother, even if he couldn’t hear what you said, and when the Queen spoke briefly about you he wasn’t surprise to know that you were also a Bridgerton. He noticed happily that you were a particular family.

“Miss Y/n Bridgerton, he is Your Highness Prince Friedrich of Prussia.” the cold voice of the Queen interrupted you from staring Prince’s eyes. 

“Your Grace, it’s a pleasure meeting you.” you bowed slowly wanting to remember at the Queen that Daphne wasn’t the only one who could bow in a charming way. 

“Please, my aunt loves the title, but Prince Friedrich is more than enough, Miss Bridgerton.” he smiled kindly at you when you stood up. He bowed too, kissing your hand over your glove charmed by your smile. He had the pleasure to see it long before approaching, when the smile had began more polite and less amused. He saw you interacting with your brother in such a natural way that he couldn’t not think that you were the only two people who didn’t hide behind a mask.

“I hope you enjoied the journey, Prince Friedrich. I heard that the English Channel is not always so kind with its sailors.” he appreciated that you didn’t say the same questions or senteces of the others Ladies he met, but instead you chose to make an indirect question adding a true fact and leaving him the word.

“I was lucky, the sky was blue and the sun had welcomed us with the warmest of its rays.” you were happy to hear the German accent in his voice while he kept speaking, like you had imagined since the news of his arrival. 

“I am happy to hear that, and I wanted to apologies for the behaviour of my sister, few moments ago. We are a very...vivacious family.” you giggled at your last words thinking about all the time that you and your brothers had made your mother loosing her mind. 

He could not hold a laugh at your comment, knowing perfectly what meant growing up in a big family with people you love. He ignored Queen’s eyes on him that was waiting to walk away; he just staied still admiring your features while with still your smile on you were looking the couples who were ending their dance.

“Have you had already the pleasure to dance, Lady Y/n?” he asked curious letting the Queen understand that he hadn’t the intention of going away. 

“Unfortunately, not yet. I have arrived few minutes before you, Your Grace, and your arrival had shadowed my presence here, I think.” you raised an eyebrow turning your gaze on him. Benedict was right, you could intimidate people by your own and you had so much fun doing that, because it was beautiful seeing the men taken back by a woman. 

He raised his hand offering it to you with shining eyes and a little bow. “Your beauty is too shiny to be shadowed; I beg you to let me repair at what I have done. Perhaps with a dance?” 

The Queen looked him shocked while your smile grew bigger. “I do not think it will be appropriate, Friedrich.” she said worried.

“It is my fault that this beautiful Lady has not been invited to dance yet, I cannot let to this injustice to happen.” he felt his heart lighter when he heard your laugh. 

You took his hand happily to have the power of doing something that the Queen didn’t approve; she had made the mistake to understimate you just because your vitality that a Lady shouldn’ t have, and now you were taking her nephew away under he own nose. “I suppose a dance can repair your damage, Prince Friedrich.”

You hadn’t realize that you were actually to be about to dance with a Prince, untile all the eyes were on you. You two were let alone at the centre of the room, standing in front of each other without looking away from the other’s eyes. Whispers could be heard around you, Benedict was looking the face of the mothers around him to make a laugh while Daphne was positively surprised with beside her Simon had a huge grin on his face. 

After bowing you stepped closer to let one of his hand resting on your hips while with the other he took yours. You rested your left hand on his shoulder and the music began covering the whispers and leaving the only two of you to dance.

“It is a honor being your first dance of tonight, Lady Bridgerton.” he said breaking your silent. 

“You flatter me, Your Grace.” he spinned you taking all the space you wanted since no one had yet joined you. “Although you stil haven’t meet my all family; you would find yourself less honored and more...longing to walk away and never meet us again.”

With your surprise he laughed lowering his head a little looking the ground for a moment. He felt attracted by your humor; it made him feel more relaxed and it brought him memories about his childhood with his cousins with who he was used play and laugh every day.

“I find it quite impossible, my Lady, but tell me something about you...I heard that you are a traveller; which place has the unattainable fortune to own your heart?” his voice was smooth and sweet but still with the firmness of a Prince. You wondered if the choice of wearing the same blue of his eyes had been his own choice or it was you that sometime observed too much.

“I’ve been in few places with my brother, Lord Colin Bridgerton, but I hope to see more.” he nodded understanding the feeling. “I found Scotland quite lovely, but if I have to be honest, my heart would like to take a little farm in Ireland and settle there among the green of its beautiful landscape.” 

More you two spoke, and more he noticed how much things you had in common. You hadn’t problem to talk sincerely, you knew he was out of your league; in that room there were few Ladies who could be a future princess, and you were very aware that one of them was your sister. However the feeling that Cupid was in front of you in all his beauty was still in your chest; you couldn’t even decide which part of him you liked the most, because every thing of him matched perfectly together; his warm smile suggested the humility he had, his big blue eyes seemed belong to a baby who looked everywhere with wonder and his curly blonde hair looked like freshly cut wheat. 

When the music ended you bowed at each other. He took your and kissing it without taking his eyes away from yours. Were butterflies those in your stomach? “You put me in a difficult position, my Lady. I cannot compliment with a part of you without mention the others.” his smile and his voice made you blush while he was still holding your hand. “You are a wonderful woman, Miss Y/n, and a divine dancer. I shall look to meet you again, if you allow me.”

You felt your heart beat fast in your chest, almost as it wanted to speak with Prince Friedrich personally. “Your words enchant me, Prince Friedrich. I would be more than delighted to talk with you again, maybe next time you could tell me about Prussia and suggest some place to visit for my next journey.”

“I will be not surprise when you will drag Colin in Prussia at your next travel.” you heard Benedict’s voice in your head laughing at you, but the Prince’s presence was like a drug to you.

“I will look forward to hear about your journeys, my Lady.” with a last smile, you walked in different directions still with all the eyes on you. 

He found himself looking for you around the room more often than he were conscious; he learned fast that the gentleman with who you danced few times was Lord de Bethencourt, a French Lord who since your first debut had expresses the interest he had toward you in the most romantic way. He saw you two laughing, speaking and dancing with a chemistry he envied. When you would laugh due something that Lord de Bethencourt had whispered in your ear, he would ask himself what he had said to you and the same when you were commited in a deep conversation about God knew what.

The Queen had tried to make him dance with Daphne, but he wasn’t blind and he could see the affection that your sister shared with Simon, but at some point of the night Lady Cressida fainted in his arms catching the attention of everyone. 

You saw with a smile that the two of them made a beautiful couple, and Cressida had always radiated royalty in everything she did. To be honest, it didn’t touch you at all; you had enjoied Prince’s company and the dance had made many gentlemen coming to you and ask for a dance so who you were to complain?

When you fell asleep you could not ask yourself why Cupid had decided to reveal his face at you so soon when with Psyche he tried to hide it everytime. You didn’t know there could exist such beauty in just a person, and still the Prince where there, in your same city and you had shared a dance together. You wished that just like Psyche, Cupid would come to you and take you away to live together, but this time Cupid was a Prince, and as a Prince he could not avoid his duty.

Dear readers,

I know you were waiting the edition of the morning, and after what happened last night at the ball I can understand you.

If you weren’t at the ball then you didn’t assist at the rivelation of the season. We all know that Daphne Bridgerton had been declared the Diamond of the season by the Queen herself, but it was another Lady who danced with Your Highness of Prussia. Indeed, Prince Friedrich and Lady Y/n Bridgerton had shared their first dance together under the disapproval look of the Queen.

Surely Lady Violet must be excited to have under her roof a future Duchess and a future Princess, and if you think that I am too fast to judge then you didn’t see Miss Y/n and Prince Friedrich at all. But Prince Friedrich must had seen that Lady Bridgerton had already a suitor, the handsome gentleman Lord de Bethencourt, I am sure we all are curious to see what will happen.

However the Prince seemed to have taked the attention of another suitable Lady, Miss Cressida Cowper. The young woman had fainted between the arm of Prince Friedrich and he helped her like a real Charming Prince, but if your eyes had fallen on Lady Y/n for a moment you could have seen that she was smiling, and not a polite one, but a true smile! 

Is it possible that the charm of our Charming Prince didn’t charmed her at all? Maybe her heart is already living in France, but I would not be surprise if in few day the Prussia will reclaim her heart as its own.

If something happen, I will be the first to tell you.

Yours, Lady Whistledown. 

“How was the Prince? Did he invite you at palace? Was he like the princes of the farytails?!” the shrill voice of Hyacinth filled the room in the exact moment you entered in the Living room the next morning.

“Let your sister breath, Hyacinth. Come sweatheart, sit here and tell us about last night.” your mother said making you sit on the couch beside her excited.

“Mama, I stop you here before you start to hyperventilate. We shared only one dance and it was beacuse I almost forced him to do so.” you giggled at the lovely memory of your dance.

“Although, he didn’t seem forced. I would say he quite enjoied your dance.” Benedict said slyly and you launched a pillow at him hitting his face.

“You were beautiful together, Y/n. Everyone couldn’t stop looking at you during the ball.” Daphne said smiling sweetly making you blush.

“Stop! All of you. It was only a dance and-”

You were interrupted by three servants who entered in the room with three baskets of flowers. “A gift for Miss Y/n Bridgerton.” 

They put the flowers on the table leaving all of you Bridgerton looking at each other curious. It wasn’t unusual that someone sent you gifts, but no one had ever sent you so many flowers; usually it was enough just one baskets or few rose. 

“Whoever send these must want your hand badly.” joked Colin while you walked toward the table. 

“Maybe he will, look at this Lilies!” Lilies were your favourite flower, indeed there was a spot in the park full of them where you were used to go whenever you wanted to relax alone.

You took the ticket that was on the second baskets seeing that there was your name written with an elegant handwriting. “Make sure to read it out loud, sister.” said Anthony with a smirk.

“Lovely Miss Y/n,

the memory of our dance took the charge of my thoughs and the time we shared together seems a dream. My heart wish to hear more about your journeys and dreams, I hope my presence in the park these days will be accepted from you and perhaps we could talk again.

In the meantime, I thought about what you said of living in a little farm in Ireland, and I could not resist but imagine that these flowers would be perfect in your future garden.

Sincerely, Prince Friedrich.”  your voice had become exciter after the first part of the letter, and now you didn’t know if it was a dream or it was all real.

“I didn’t know that in Prussia had such low standard:” Benedict.

“Our sister will become a Princess!” Colin.

“Yes, a Princess who will make all the Prussia crazy due her talkativeness .” Anthony. 

“Y/n Bridgerton! Did you tell at the Prince that you want to live in a farm?!” Lady Violet yelled shocked by her own daughter actions.

“In my defence he liked it!” you said trying to hold a laugh. “And then...come on! Who would ever imagine that he was truly listening me?! I though, and still thing, that he is out of my league so why not being sincere?”

“Well, I would dare to say that he was truly listenting you.” said Benedict giggling earning a death glare from you.

“It is his fault!” you pointed at him looking your mother.

“Why mine?” he stood up suddenly confused.

“He left me alone when the Prince was approaching! I was unsupervised, and you know what happen when I am unsupervised.” you hoped that it would be a good excuse, but the look of your mother said otherwise. “Alright, when I’ll see him again I say that I’ve lied, my real dream is living in a huge castle full of jewerly, rules and boring stuff. Because we all know how much I love the boring stuff.” 

Your drammatic tone made everyone laugh until the arrival of the first suitors for you and your sister. 

You tried to stay focus on what they were saying, but every now and then your eyes felt on the baskets of flowers that were on the table worring about what the Prince was doing. Had he visisted some Lady? Maybe Lady Cressida? Or maybe he sent flowers to all the Ladies with who he had danced the last night...you wouldn’t be surprise since you had seen how much was big his kindness.  

Waking up with the sight of his flowers in your bedroom made your next mornings starting in a good way. That afternoon you would meet Lord de Bethencourt at the park, and in a hidden place of your mind you were hoping to see Prince Friedrich there. 

You had the beautiful idea to taking a walk with the horses so you had the opportunity to put on your new dark blue suit. The clouds were covering the sun colouring the air around you of a light shade of grey, indeed there weren’t many people out letting you two to enjoy the company of each other. 

“And what was the thing that inspired a lovely lady like you to learn French?” Lord de Bethencourt asked you curious.

“You see, my Lord, with my passion for travelling the desire to know other languages came by itself. It wasn’t easy at the beginning, I must say, but I find it so romantic that I could not stay in my ignorance.” you looked over his shoulder for a moment seeing a blonde haired head sitting not far away from you.

“There is so many places in France that would be lucky to being seen by you, my Lady. Perhaps the next time shall I talk about them?” he asked taking firmly his reins ready to return at his home.

“You must, Lord de Bethencourt. I wish you a good night.” you smiled at him and after having wished you a good day he kicked his horse making him trot away. 

Could you go home and relax with a good book and warm blankets? Yes.

Did you wanted to do so? Absolutely no.

So in a very natural way you turned around your horse and went towards the blonde haired man you had seen few moments before. The park was huge so you started to look around enjoing the green that was around you and looking the swan that was in the middle of the little lake at your right.

Few metres before the man, who you saw was sitting at a table admiring the lake, some guards stopped you and your waitress from going further. “I am sorry Miss, but you cannot get closer.” 

“Then would you be so kind to guide me at home toward another street?” you replied with fake concern. You knew very well that there were plenty other street that would bring you home, but you wanted some fun earning his attention. 

“I am really sorry Miss, but I cannot let you go further.” he looked truly sorry, but most of the men forget that a woman has more power than what they believe; indeed it was you favourite hobby making the Lords apologies with you for whatever and whenever you want.

“Then let me adjust this problem.” you cleared your throat holding the smirk that fought so hard to be free. “Your Highness! When you said that you would like to stay in my company again I didn’t expect that you would forbid me to go home.” 

Prince Friedrich turned around looking surprised at you. The guard’s mouth felt open while you kept your sweet smile on your face rather amused by all the situation. 

“Lady Bridgerton, for a moment I though to have seen a mirage...tell me, my guard had been unkind to you?” he walked closer to you, but you didn’t get off the horse kepping your back straight and looking him up down.

“There is not enough sun for a mirage, Prince Friedrich; unfortunately it’s just me.” you let out a giggle and a smile appeared on his face. “Although, no you guard didn’t do anything out of your orders, but I was unhappy when I found out that I couldn’t get back at home...”

“Your unhappiness bring me pain, my Lady.” he brought a hand to his heart bowing respecfully. “I cannot say that I am not pleased to see you again. Can I apologies for this misunderstanding wìth a cup of tea?” 

You smiled with pride seeing that you made the Prince asking you sorry twice without even commit yourself too much. You looked behind you your brother Anthony that had been your silent chaperon for all day and after he gave you a nod smirking you turned your attention to the Prince again.

“How could I say no after the wonderful flowers you sent me?” he offered happily his hand to help you to get off the horse and you accepted it gladly. When a guard approached to take your horse you looked at him carefully. “Be careful with her. She is not fond with men due her...brutal childhood, so be kind and treat her as a Princess, because she is, right Cassidy?” you caressed your horse affectionately before giving the reins at the guard. 

“What happened to Cassidy?” the Prince asked curious bringing you at the table and holding the chair for you.

“She was born to race. Her first owners used to do illegal races and it wasn’t unusual for them to beat her to make her run faster. My brother, Lord Anthony Bridgerton, found them and all the horses had been selt, but she was frightened by everything; so an afternoon I decided to visit Cassidy and day by day I took care of her.” you said lost in your memories with a little smile on your lips. 

“She had been very lucky to find you, Miss Y/n, and do you like riding often?” he offered you a cup of tea that you took thanking him kindly.

“Oh yes. Mostly when I want to go in the countryside and take a walk among the green. I find horses beautiful animals.” 

“I agree. So, I hope I had helped your immagination with those flowers.” he smiled with a little blush on his cheeks. If Cupid owned already such beauty, why he must own even the most melodious voice that your ear had ever heard? Wasn’t enought enchanting your eyes? What did he want from a normal human like you? Why didn’t he fly to his Psyche and let you live happily?

“These flowers made me dreams more vividly about my future garden, Prince Friedrich, and your words had been poesy for my eyes.” he must had done something to your tea, because with few words you were drunk of his presence. You didn’t dare to allow you to dream about a future with him, because you knew he was a dream to live day by day so that when you would wake up you would not have any regrets. 

You talked and talked; he made you laugh and your spontaneity made him attracted to you even more. He watched your smile, your eyes, your pink cheeks and the beautiful light that turned on everytime you talked about something you loved. He found out that weren’t you only a strong woman, but you were also acculturated, clever and smart; this made him liking even more your power to stand up for yourself even with men. 

“But if I will go to France, the first thing I desire to see if the sculpture of Cupid and Psyche, their story affascinate my since I was a kid.” you ended your speech about the place you wished to go in the future.

“Such a beautiful love story. I read it long time ago and still it is in my head so vividly that I could recite some part of it.” he agreed completely absorbed in your conversation.

“Indeed, I dare to say that is one of my favourite love story ever. He, the god of love find love in a human girl due his own mistake, and to protect her and himself from the mother he decided to hide his face. I mean, yes his love started because one of his own arrow hit him, by I think it was destiny.” your voice was music to his ear, he wished to be able to listen you all day.

For a moment he seemed to see cupid behind you with his arrow pointed at his chest and when his eyes felt on your face again he could feel a strange feeling in his chest, as if Cupid’s arrow had hitten him for real. 

SEQUEL:  Jealousy and The Sweet Taste Of Sin