#AI Super Zoom

[bmpmp3]

EXTREMELY low effort plug n play cover with very default settings mixing i did in like 20 min but im trying out voisona and holy shit tsudumi's 2.0 sounds SO so good

honeymoon un deux trois by dateken (original vocal rin), UST by purblexber

[shironezuninja]

Restless and Needing More Offline Time.

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

A Day in Life

Synopsis: A day in your life while working as the Justice League's assistant. Also, they are all yanderes for you and it's Valentine's Day.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader

Tw: 18+ just because of a mention of Superman misusing his X-Ray vision and the mention of hooking up, aside from that, this is pretty SFW; Flash and Green Lantern are a little delusional; Hal Jordan is pushy; Batman is probably a little out of character (and I’m ashamed to keep it that way) bc I can't see him giving anyone flowers as Batman, just as Bruce Wayne; Mentions of them all secretly stalking you; This League members are Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash (Barry Allen), Green Lantern (Hal Jordan; John Stewart is mentioned), Aquaman and Martian Manhunter; I wrote too little about Martian Manhunter, Aquaman here because I don't know much about them; Wish I had more ideas for Wonder Woman’s interaction here too cause I love her; My crush on Hal is very obvious; Reader doesn't struggle much against them but they're also pretty tame; The physics in flying and running at super speed might be wrong but this is comic book science so it's wrong either way; English is not my first language.

Word count: 1,6k

Requested? No.

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

The zeta tube flashes and the AI voice announces the arrival of Flash. Your heart goes fast.

— Hey, (Y/N)! — In a flash, he's in front of you. — Happy Valentine's Day! — You tear your eyes off of your schedule on your tablet and see him holding a rose towards you.

— Oh, hey, Flash… — You reply a little tense. — Thank you… You didn't need to. — You hesitantly take the rose from him and whilst your attention is on staring at the flower and holding back a grimace, you miss the glint in his blue eyes. His blush is covered by his mask. His mind seeks for something to say before you decide to break the momentary silence. — You're really sweet, it's great to have a friend like you! — You make sure to exclain, the tone a notch higher, trying to make your point come across. Flash’s face falls.

— Uh- I- Actually- — His speech gets cut off by the zeta announcing Superman. Before you can have a heart attack, the boy scout also zooms in front of you, this time your hair blows back with the wind. He must've come flying.

— (Y/N)’s heart is pounding, what are you doing, Flash? — Superman alternates between looking at your face worriedly, then your chest, then glaring at the speedster by his side.

— What? Nothing! — Flash looks wide-eyed at Superman. Then his mind clicks and he looks at you again. — Wait, what? Your heart is pounding? Is it… Is it because of me?! — You see the dazed look on his face coming to the surface again. Oh boy.

You casually make the effort to take a breath you didn't know you were holding and make your heart go down. You hate when Super uses his X-Ray vision on you. You can never be sure when he is doing it, but why else would he analytically stare specifically at your body when he is worried about you? Also, that time when you commented with Sarah from the kitchen’s crew that you forgot to do your laundry and went to the Watchtower without underwear. Seconds later, Superman appeared in the doorway, looking startled and flustered, ears red. Although he pretended to have just arrived at the tower and you and your friend chose to ignore your embarrassment that your boss with superhearing might have chose that exact moment to focus his hearing on only the places around him, including your too intimate conversation, you still caught him red handed sneaking glances specifically at your hips, and he hurriedly exited the room after that. At the time, you had just recently started the job as the Justice League’s assistant. After that you were a lot more aware.

After a while you realized you had a reason to be.

Superman was glaring at the rose in your hand and Flash was daydreaming while looking at your face when the zeta flashed again and you snapped out of it fast enough that by the time you started talking, your mind didn't pay attention to who had just arrived.

— Hm, no. It's just you fast people are always catching me off guard. — Flash deflates and- Is he pouting? Bro. Superman lights up and looks at you again.

— Oh, sorry, (N/N), we always forget about that. — The alien chuckles while rubbing the back of his head.

— Superman. Flash. — You and Flash jump, but Superman, not surprisingly, doesn't react and just follows you three and looks behind the two heros in front of you to the one with the gruff voice that just arrived.

Flash groans and Superman just rolls his eyes, you can see that while trying to peak past the men’s towering frames blocking you. You don't have to guess much though, because they make space for the newcomer and you suppress a tired sigh at seeing Batman making his way to you with a gigantic arrangement of flowers that covers his entire torso, arms and head, only his bat-ears, legs and cape being visible.

— (Y/N). Those are for you. — Color me shocked. Before you can try to start thinking about how you are gonna take this absurdity anywhere, vengeance speaks. — I'm gonna leave it at your desk.

— Hmhmm. Thank you, Batman. — You refused to watch his retreating form and let any member of your yandere harem think you actually have an interest in any of them and look down at your tablet again. The action makes you remember the rose you're still holding and you hurriedly walk away from the two nutcases stuck glaring at the third and go to his side. — Actually, take this with you. — You stick the rose amongst the rest of the flowers and before any of them can say anything else, you get out of the room.

You take a deep breath. Since the League’s weird obsession started seemingly around a year ago, you had a whole crisis over it. The pay was good, and it increased even more when they took this insane liking to you, so it's not like you could just quit like it was nothing. Besides, it's the Justice League, you could run from the fucking planet and they would still find you. It's easier to adapt.

You go on with your routine for a few minutes until you bump into a neon green brick wall. Scratch that, it's just Green Lantern’s chest.

— Hey, cutie, I was looking for you. — Your eyes widen when the space cop suddenly holds you by the shoulders, pushes you against a wall, then lets you go just to keep his two muscular arms on each side of you, trapping you and keeping you close to his frame. Ugh, the Lantern with brown hair has always been the more touchy one. You miss the one with dark skin and common sense.

— Need me for something? — You hold a groan with the limitless possibilities of how he could use that sentence to be crude, but you just wanted to get rid of him. He smirks.

— I was wondering if you were free today and would like to go on a date with me later… — He knew you were free. You knew he knew you were free. Every time you have a date (and you never told them) the League seems to get more on edge and suddenly your workload increases. Tsk, you hate them. Unfortunately, you love nice things even more.

You raise an eyebrow.

— I don't even know your name. — You point out, maybe that would make him give up, but he just shrugged.

— I could tell you, trust is a fundamental part in any relationship.

— Is a date a relationship? Also I don't think Batman would like that. — Any of that. He cocks his head to the side and his beautiful hair moves down.

— Cutie, you don't have to worry about Spooky. And I don't want to just hook up with you, you know that. Now just stop playing hard to get and-

A golden light catches your attention, it could be a miracle, but it's just Wonder Woman's lasso wrapping around the lantern's neck and pulling him away from you. Unfortunately, she tied a it in a way that the action wouldn't strangle him or break his neck.

— Ugh, men really have no boundaries. — The amazon rolls her lasso back and takes a step towards you, keeping said man sulking behind her while analyzing you. — Forgive my friend, (Y/N). He grew up in a barn. — The stunning demigoddess smiles at you.

Ugh, if she wasn't just as crazy as the rest of them you would happily swoon over her.

— Right. Well, I have to go. — You turn your back to them and take fast but casual steps away from them and the empty hallway. It never fails to scare the shit out of you and give you goosebumps whenever one of them catches you alone in one of those, and the competition between them for your heart somehow makes you confident enough that if there are at least two of them, no harm will come to you.

You clear your throat. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. The martian should’ve arrived by now and you don't doubt he reads your mind 24/7 when he’s close enough.

You’re about to turn a corridor when you spot Aquaman poking his head in a room, looking for something, it's probably you, only his body is visible and he can't see you.

You hold a groan and run as quietly as possible away from him without him noticing, remembering the time he ranted to you about seahorses being the most romantic fish species, with monogamous mate bonds for lifetime, and all the times he promised to show you Atlantis one day and make you rule his people by his side.

A few minutes later when you look at the clock, you know by that time they're all already in their meeting and not wandering around, desperate for a crumb of your attention. To confirm that, you open the camera’s feed that not many had access to and idly check their presence in the meeting room. Your stomach churns seeing your figure in one of their monitors, the others displaying normal missions info. Of course they would follow you around through the cameras, because that's just as important as discussing wars and crisis in Earth countries and other planets.

You passively shut the screen when you finally get to your office, in which you avoid staying until you absolutely have to, or the coast is clear enough to, otherwise it's the most obvious place for them to force an interaction with you.

You look up and your shoulders drop in defeat at the sign of too many flowers, gifts and letters from each member of the League.

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DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation

[thinkinginpen]

Every Free Moment

a/n: Sometime's wannabe writers have a little baby fever, okay? pairing: husband!tony x wife!reader w/c: 2.1k warnings: romance, hinting, love, talking about kids, etc. summary: You have been married for awhile now so Tony was thinking about kids and you were ready to plan

In the warm glow of the evening, Tony Stark and his wife, you, sit curled up together on the couch in the privacy of their home. The soft hum of technology in the background is a comfortable constant, and you can hear the occasional sound of city life from outside. Tony's fingers idly trace lazy patterns on your back as he gazes at you, a mix of love and thoughtfulness in his eyes.

"You know, we've been married for a while now," he begins, the corners of his mouth curling into a soft smile.

His gaze drifts for a moment, as if lost in thought, before returning to focus on you. "We've been busy with our lives, our careers, our adventures," he continues, his voice a gentle rumble, "but there's something I've been thinking about lately."

He pauses for a moment, gathering his words, then looks directly into your eyes. "I've been thinking about the future, our future. And it got me wondering," he says, his smile widening slightly, "Have you ever thought about having kids?"

The words hang in the air, heavy with meaning. You can feel your heart skip a beat as you look up at him, surprise and wonder in your eyes. "Children?" you reply, your voice soft.

Tony nods, his smile growing a bit. "Yeah, kids. Little bundles of chaos and joy, the whole nine yards." he replies. He's trying to sound nonchalant, but there's a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. "What do you think?"

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, your mind swirling with the implications of his question. The noise from outside seems to fade away, just for a moment.

"I think… it sounds incredible," you reply, a smile blossoming on your face. "And a little bit terrifying."

Tony lets out a small chuckle, his hand coming to still on your back. "Welcome to the club," he says, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "I've been thinking about it, and I can't help but imagine little feet running through the penthouse, little hands messing with the tech in the lab… and your face every time I try to give them a suit."

The image brings a small laugh to your own lips. Imagining tiny hands tinkering with Stark technology, little children zooming around the penthouse under the watchful eye of their parents, it's a picture that simultaneously fills you with joy and anxiety.

"I can see it now," Tony muses, a playful gleam in his eye. "Kids with Stark brains, wreaking havoc on the world and stealing the show at every Avengers event."

You poke him lightly in the chest, a mixture of mock offense and amusement on your face. "And your humility. Can't forget about passing that one down."

Tony feigns an expression of hurt, his hand coming up to his chest. "Me, humble? I thought everyone recognized my genius and innate greatness." He smirks, his eyes sparkling with humor.

You poke him again, rolling your eyes. "Of course everyone does," you reply, "It's just you that needs to be reminded of that all the time."

Tony grins, his expression lighting up at your playful response. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. "See? You know me too well," he says with a chuckle. "Our kids are gonna have it all: brains, looks, charisma… and a healthy dose of smartass."

You lean into him, feeling the warmth of his body as you continue the conversation. "And what about you, Tony? Are you ready for late nights, midnight feedings, endless toy battles?"

Tony pretends to consider this for a moment, a dramatic pause. "Eh, how hard could it be? I've handled aliens, super soldiers, and an AI that tried to take over the world. A few children? Piece of cake."

You can't help but laugh at his blithe confidence. "Right, right. Because managing a business empire and saving the world totally prepared you for the trials and tribulations of fatherhood."

Tony grins, enjoying the banter. He knows you're right, but is always up for a challenge. "Hey, if I can handle being Iron Man, I can handle anything," he asserts. "Besides, I'll have you to keep me in line, right?"

You smile, leaning your head against his chest. "Of course. If you start teaching them about circuit boards and repulsor tech before they can walk, I'll be there to rein you in."

"Spoilsport," he mutters affectionately, nuzzling his chin on top of your head. "That's no way to treat the next generation of Stark intellectuals."

"It's called letting them be kids, Tony. Kids have time for all the Stark-level genius when they're older." You reach up and give him a light smack on the chest.

Tony lets out another small chuckle, holding his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, I get it. We'll start with the basics first. Like how to build a robot that can fetch a beer."

You roll your eyes, but there's fondness in your voice as you reply, "And there's the Stark genius shining through. How could I forget the most important lesson: beer-fetching robots."

"Hey, a skill they can use for life," Tony quips, grinning widely. "Besides, when I've built an army of beer-fetching robots, it'll revolutionize parties. No more having to get up and get your own drinks. The future is now."

"Oh yes, because what every child dreams of is building an army of robotic assistants to satisfy their father's every whim." You can't help but laugh at his plan, imagining the inevitable chaos that would ensue.

Tony simply shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. "What can I say? If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them." He then pulls you closer, his smile softening. "In all seriousness, though, I'm excited. I never thought I'd even have a family, back when I was too busy making weapons and partying nonstop."

You nod, understanding the deeper layers of his words. The man who once seemed too fast-paced and self-absorbed to even consider commitment is now talking about building a family. The change is stark in more ways than one.

"I'm happy we found each other then," you say, your voice quieter now. "I can't imagine anyone but you being the father of my children."

Tony's expression softens at your words. He reaches out to run a hand through your hair, a gesture both affectionate and contemplative. "Yeah," he replies, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and awe. "Who would've thought I'd end up here, building a future with the person I love more than anything?"

"Certainly not the media," you joke, grinning a little. "You were always portrayed as the eternal bachelor. The last person anyone would have picked to settle down."

"Well, they always did get me wrong," he says, flashing a cheeky grin. "The media doesn't understand the complex and layered being that is Tony Stark." He pauses, a gleam in his eye. "That, and you just tamed me. Nobody else could manage it."

"Tamed, is that what we're calling it now?" you tease, raising an eyebrow. "I thought I just distracted you with enough science and sarcasm that you forgot how to party."

"Distracted, tamed, same thing," he replies, a hint of a smirk on his face. "And speaking of distractions, I do recall a certain someone who always has my attention." He pulls you closer, his voice dropping to a huskier tone. "Distract me a little more, why don't you?"

You laugh lightly, pretending to consider it. "Hm, I don't know…" you say, deliberately dragging it out to tease him. "Distracting you sounds like a lot of work… I might be tired from the day…"

Tony's eyes narrow, sparkling with a familiar competitive gleam as he senses you're enjoying this a bit too much. He leans in, his voice low and seductive. "Oh, I can think of a way to wake you up."

"Oh really?" you reply, feigning nonchalance even as a shiver of anticipation runs through you. "And what method would that be, Mr. Stark?"

Tony's lips curl into a sly smile. "Oh, I think a practical demonstration would be far more effective than words," he says, his voice dropping to a whisper.

You can't help but laugh at his audacity, even as your heart starts to race a little. "Ah, the hands-on approach. How very scientific of you," you tease.

"I am a man of science and innovation," he replies, his hand tracing the outline of your cheek. "And I believe in testing all theories thoroughly." The words are spoken lightly, but the heat in his gaze tells a different story.

You pause, suddenly feeling a wave of realism wash over the playful banter. "Wait, wait," you say, stopping him mid-sentence. "We need to think about this practically. What about your career, Tony? Stark Industries is your life."

Tony stops, taking a moment of surprise at the abrupt shift in tone. He pulls back a bit, an eyebrow raised in confusion. "Well, yeah, Stark Industries is important to me," he admits, "but so are you. So would be any children we might have."

"I know, I know," you reply quickly, trying to placate him with a reassuring smile. "It's just that… being a public figure, the CEO of a huge company… that brings a certain level of responsibility. And there will be media scrutiny, not to mention the changes to your reputation…"

Tony lets out a breath, understanding your concerns. "Yeah, I get it," he says, his expression more serious now. "The press would be all over us. And there's no way to hide a pregnancy or a couple of kids when you're one of the most high-profile couples in the world."

"Exactly," you reply, feeling a bit relieved that he's seeing the issue. "And as for Stark Industries… can you afford to devote less time to it? Having kids is a full-time job in itself, it's not something you can just juggle with running a business empire."

Tony scrubs a hand over his face, a flicker of frustration in his eyes. "I know that." He admits. "I've thought about it, trust me. But are you suggesting that we put our family planning on hold because of my career?" His voice is a blend of defensiveness and genuine curiosity.

"I'm not suggesting anything," you counter, your voice gentle but firm. "I'm just pointing out the reality. Being a parent is a huge commitment, and it will change your life - our life - dramatically. And part of making sure we're ready isn't just thinking about how it affects us, but how it will affect your work and reputation."

Tony lets out a sigh, leaning back against the couch. He knows you're right, but it clearly isn't easy to hear. "You're always the voice of reason," he mutters, though there's a hint of affection in his tone. "It's a pain in the ass sometimes."

"Somebody's got to keep you grounded," you reply, your tone light. "Otherwise your ego will inflate even more and the world will drown."

Tony lets out a laugh, shaking off his minor pout. "Right, right. Without your influence I'd be insufferable." He then leans back in, a devilish gleam in his eye. "And what better reason to get the baby-making started now than to give the press something to talk about?"

Your heart skips a beat at his blunt proposition, your mind spinning to keep up with his swift shift in mood. "Just… start trying?" you stammer, the idea both thrilling and terrifying. "Just like that?"

Tony nods, his eyes fixed on you, his determination unwavering. "Just like that," he affirms. "We don't need time to think about it. Neither of us is getting any younger. We've got our lives mostly together. We love each other. We'd make great parents."

You take a deep, steadying breath, trying to process the idea he's throwing out. "It's not that simple, Tony," you reply, though your voice waivers a bit as your mind starts to spin with the implications. "Even if we decide to go ahead and try, there's no guarantee we'll get pregnant right away."

"I know that," he counters, a slight impatient edge in his voice. "But that's no reason to delay or hold back. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll know. And I don't want to wait anymore. I want to start a family with you. As soon as possible."

"No more excuses," he says, his hand coming to rest on your knee. "No more worries about work or the media or what people will think. From now on, every free moment we have, we're working towards this. Every chance we get, we're going to try for a baby."

Your mind is still spinning with the enormity of it all, but you can't deny the effect his words are having on you. His determination and desire are contagious. "Every free moment…" you repeat faintly, feeling a rush of anticipation mixed with trepidation.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

You can’t shop your way out of a monopoly

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then SAN FRANCISCO (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

If you're running a business, you can either invest at being good at your business, or good at Google SEO. Choose the former and your customers will love you – but they won't be able to find you, thanks to the people who choose the latter. And if you're going to invest in top-notch SEO, why bother investing in quality at all?

For more than a decade, Google has promised that it would do something about "lead gens" – services that spoof Google into thinking that they are local businesses, pushing down legit firms on both regular search and Google Maps (these downranked businesses invested in quality, not SEO, remember). Search for a roofer, a plumber, an electrician, or a locksmith (especially a locksmith), and most or all of the results will be lead-gens. They'll take your call, pretend to be a local business, and then call up some half-qualified bozo to come out and charge you four times the going rate for substandard work:

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/31/business/fake-online-locksmiths-may-be-out-to-pick-your-pocket-too.html

Some of them just take your money and they "go back to the shop for a tool" and never return:

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/when-a-fake-business-used-a-real-st-louis-address-things-got-weird-32087998

Google has been promising to fix this since the late aughts, and to be fair, it's a little better. There was once a time when a map of Manhattan showed more locksmiths than taxis:

https://blumenthals.com/blog/2009/02/18/google-maps-proves-more-locksmiths-in-nyc-than-cabs/

But GMaps is trapped in the enshittification squeeze. On the one hand, the company wants to provide a good and reliable map. On the other hand, the company makes money selling "ads" that are actually payola, where a business can pay to get to the top of the listings or get displayed on the map itself. Zoom out of Google's map of central London and the highlighted landmarks are a hilarious mix of "organic" and paid listings: the British Museum, Buckingham Palace, the Barbican, the London Eye…and a random oral and maxillofacial clinic in the financial district:

https://twitter.com/dylanbeattie/status/1764711667663831455

Hell of a job "organizing the world's information and making it universally accessible and useful," Big G. Doubtless the average Londoner finds the presence of this clinic super helpful in orienting themselves relative to the map on their phone screens, and it's a real service to tourists hoping to hit all the major landmarks.

It's not just Maps users who'd noticed the rampant enshittification. Even the original design team is so horrified they're moved to speak out about the moral injury they experience seeing the product they worked so hard on turned into a giant pile of shit:

https://twitter.com/elizlaraki/status/1727351922254852182

Now, when it comes to locksmiths, I'm lucky. My neighborhood in Burbank includes the wonderful Golden State Lock and Safe, which has been in business since 1942:

https://www.goldenstatelock.com/

But you wouldn't know it from searching GMaps for a locksmith near me. That search turns up a long list of scams:

https://www.google.com/maps/search/locksmith/@34.1750451,-118.369948,14z/data=!3m1!4b1?entry=ttu

It also turns up plenty of Keyme machines – these are private-equity backed, self-serve key-cutting machines placed in grocery stores. Despite Keyme calling itself a "locksmith," it's just a badly secured, overcaptilized, enshittification-bound system for collecting and retaining shapefiles for the keys to millions of homes, cross-referenced with billing information that will make it easy for the eventual hackers to mass-produce keys for all those poor suckers' houses.

(Hilariously, Keyme claims to be an "AI" company):

https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20200114005194/en/KeyMe-Raises-35-Million-to-Further-Its-Mission-of-Building-the-Premier-Locksmith-Services-Company-in-the-Nation

But despite the fact that you can literally see the Golden State storefront from Google Streetview, Google Maps claims to have no knowledge of it. Instead, Streetview labels Golden State "Keyme" – and displays a preview showing a locksmith using a tool to break into a jeep (I'd dearly love to know how the gadget next to the Slurpee machine at the 7-Eleven will drive itself to your jeep and unlock the door for you when you lose your keys):

https://www.google.com/maps/place/KeyMe+Locksmiths/@34.1752624,-118.3487531,3a,75y,350.19h,90.21t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1ssHrtqjqvgFir3NBauMy13Q!2e0!7i16384!8i8192!4m15!1m8!3m7!1s0x80c2959cd65dbb1b:0x4b3744cf87492a71!2sBurbank+Blvd+%26+N+Hollywood+Way,+Burbank,+CA+91505!3b1!8m2!3d34.1750025!4d-118.3493484!16s%2Fg%2F11f37_3lq8!3m5!1s0x80c2951cedbf4d39:0xe8ff9fd5872e66e9!8m2!3d34.1755176!4d-118.349!16s%2Fg%2F11mw7nr4fx?entry=ttu

It's pretty clear to me what's going on here. Keyme has hired some SEO creeps and/or paid off Google, flooding the zone with listings for its machines. Meanwhile, Golden State, being merely good at locksmithing, has lost the SEO wars. Perhaps Golden State could shift some of its emphasis from being good at locksmithing in order to get better at SEO, but this is a race that will always be won by the firm that puts the most into SEO, which will always be the firm that puts the least into quality.

Whenever I write about this stuff, people inevitably ask me which search engine they should use, if not Google?

And there's the rub.

Google used predatory pricing and anticompetitive mergers to acquire a 90% search market-share. The company spends more than $26b/year buying default position in every place where you might possibly encounter a new search engine. This created the "kill zone" – the VC's term of art for businesses that no one will invest in, because Google makes sure that no one will ever find out it exists:

https://www.theverge.com/23802382/search-engine-google-neeva-android

That's why the only serious competitor to Google is Bing, another Big Tech company (Bing is also the primary source of results on Duckduckgo, which is why DDG sometimes makes exceptions for Microsoft's privacy-invading tracking):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DuckDuckGo#Controversies

Google tells us that the quid-pro-quo of search monopolization is search excellence. The hundreds of billions it makes every year through monopoly control gives it the resources it needs to fight spammers and maintain search result quality. Anyone who's paid attention recently knows that this is bullshit: Google search quality is in free-fall, across all its products:

https://downloads.webis.de/publications/papers/bevendorff_2024a.pdf

But Google doesn't seem to think it has a problem. Rather than devoting all its available resources to fighting botshit, spam and scams, the company set $80 billion dollars alight last year with a stock buyback that was swiftly followed with 12,000 layoffs, followed by multiple subsequent rounds of layoffs:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

The scams that slip through Google's cracks are sometimes nefarious, but just as often they're decidedly amateurish, the kind of thing that Google could fix by throwing money at the problem, say, to validate that new ads for confirmed Google merchants come from the merchant's registered email addresses and go to the merchant's registered website:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

Search is a capital intensive business, and there are real returns to scale, as the UK Competition and Market Authority's excellent 2020 study describes:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5fe4957c8fa8f56aeff87c12/Appendix_I_-_search_quality_v.3_WEB_.pdf

But Google doesn't seem to think that its search needs that $80 billion to fight the spamwars. That's the thing about monopolists, they get complacent. As Lily Tomlin's "Ernestine the AT&T operator" used to say, "We don't care, we don't have to, we're the phone company."

That's why I'm so excited about the DOJ Antitrust Division monopolization case against Google. Trusting one company to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful," was a failure:

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/justice-department-sues-google-monopolizing-digital-advertising-technologies

I understand why people want to know which search engine they should use instead of Google, and I get why, "There aren't any good search engines" is such an unsatisfactory answer. I understand why each fresh round of printer-company fuckery prompts people to ask "which printer should I get?" and I understand why "There are only six major printer companies and they're all suffering from end-stage enshittification" isn't what anyone wants to hear.

We want to be able to vote with our wallets, because it's so much faster and more convenient than voting with our ballots. But the vote-with-your-wallet election is rigged for the people with the thickest wallets. Try as hard as you'd like, you just can't shop your way out of a monopoly – that's like trying to recycle your way out of the climate emergency. Systemic problems need systemic solutions – not individual ones.

That's why the new antitrust matters so much. The answer to monopolies is to break up companies, block and unwind mergers, ban deceptive and unfair conduct. "Caveat emptor" is the scammer's motto. You shouldn't have to be an expert on lead gen scams to hire a locksmith without getting ripped off.

There are good products and services out there. Earlier this year, we decided to install a (non-networked) programmable pushbutton lock. I asked Deviant Ollam – whom I know from Defcon's Lockpicking Village – for a recommendation and he suggested the Schlage FE595:

https://www.schlage.com/en/home/products/FE595PLYFFFFLA.html

I liked it so much I bought another one for my office door. Eric from Golden State Lock and Safe installed it while I wrote this blog-post. It's great. I recommend both of 'em – 10/10, would do business again.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#vapor-locksmith

Image: alicia rae (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kehole_Red.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

--

Budhiargomiko (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wasteland.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[tmntxthings]

heyy so I literally got this kind of idea like not really long ago, how about a donnie x reader fic/scenario/prompt where donnie makes a new AI hologram assistant (the reader) but ends up falling in love with them ?? (kind of blade runner 2049 inspired)

thanks ! luv your work (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

一∑ Dizzy・゜・。

author’s notes: so this may not be exactly what you asked for, this donnie is a bit… cagey? protective? overbearing! but hopefully the ending is a good indication that he did indeed fall?? :D

warnings: fluff, platonic to romantic, cursing, very unedited, & super short >.<

word association: sentience, slight yandere!donnie, light projection, holograms, creation, possessive, obsessive, fluff, change, feelings

song: “ Round & Round by Selena Gomez ”

—————————————————————————

“Y/n”

Donnie waited for you to appear in his vision as he was glued to a new construct. Both hands busy with small tools that required the utmost care and attention. And patience.

He waited a couple of more seconds before a crease appeared between his draw on brows.

Seriously?

“Y/n!”

Donnie shouted louder. There was no way you couldn’t hear him. He was this close to pushing up his goggles but like magic you apparated in his vision. A tiny version of yourself in the corner of his eyesight, “Yyyessss?”

You drawled, dipping forward dramatically but not obscuring his view of his hands so he could continue his work.

“Where are you?”

Habitually it seemed he had to ask you this. He was like this with Shelldon too. But ever since you started getting curious and venturing out of his lab, he just had to at least check in…

He would have just checked your holo-tracker but his hands were busy at the moment. So calling out your name was more efficient. His wrist tech was voice automated and connected to your system easily enough.

“And why did you ignore my first call?”

He questioned further, eyebrows still drawn. His tongue peeked out between his lips as he carefully pieced together two small bits in the right formation.

“I thought we agreed Donnie. If you didn’t need me, I could explore the perimeters!”

You glitched momentarily, moving from the corner to right in the center of his vision before going back to your original place with a raised brow.

“Yes yes. That was the agreement but addendum six was—“

You groaned.

“Y/n it’s been… how long has it been..?”

He just knew it had to be four or so hours since you last checked in. Which meant he could call! As per agreement! If you didn’t check in then he would worry and a time frame was even added into fine print for this very purpose! Donatello prided himself on thinking of every-little-thing!

“It’s been 30 minutes.”

His eyes widened. Looking at you now and squinting.

No way.

You sighed dramatically as you brought up the time. Sure enough. It was only 2:30 in the morning. Not 5.

“Ah, well my mistake.”

Donnie placed down the tools and pushed up his goggles. The zoomed in version of his project gone, as well as the time and your miniature self.

He could still hear you though with his headphones on.

“You didn’t answer my first question…”

He still wanted to know.

“I think that should be void considering you can just check now!”

Your voice was exasperated but it had a teasing quality.

“I’d rather you tell me,”

“With your brothers!”

“What?!”

No response. “Y/n?” No response still. He grumbled bringing his goggles back down and yep, you were gone. He shoved them back up and shot out of his chair.

Two years ago. Donatello went a step further from robots. A step further from Shelldon, definitely still a very proud achievement of his! You were a hologram program. One that connected just like Shelldon to all of Donatello’s devices and gadgets. But you didn’t have a physical body. You were a pure light so to speak. And while Donnie had agreed for you to explore…he hadn’t really disclosed another sentient being in the lab to his brothers.

Selfishly… Donnie had created you solely for him. While Shelldon had been sort of a prank but definitely for his brothers… you weren’t.

“Y/n.” Shelldon whispered harshly as he peeked out of the doorway from his lab. You were nowhere in the vicinity. He scowled. “If this is supposed to be funny, let me be very clear! It is not!” Then Donnie started to rush with his words while he crept further out into the lair.

“Those dumdums have no idea of your existence Y/n! For all we know they could— I don’t know! Attack?!”

You were radio silent. And it annoyed to Donnie to know end. You were ignoring him on purpose. Dragging him away from work to chase you down. And he would do the dragging this time, right back to his side if he must!

The further he went, the more apprehensive he felt. He could hear music. He could hear hollering. It was not the right cues that said ‘Y/n is just pranking me! They wouldn’t reveal themselves without my go-ahead! Surely!’ Yeah none of that was feeling close to happening right now. Donatello’s teeth ground together as he gave up being stealthy in favor of finally seeing what the fuck was happening.

And boy was he in for a shock.

As he cleared a corner that gave him a full view of the arcade that stretched down a distance away. The DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) was on, bass pumping throughout the room. A beautiful voice beckoning him closer like a siren’s song. Where Raph was dancing on one side. And you on the other.

Donnie stopped short. His breath catching as he watched your hologram dance, when your shoes met the correct arrows your whole body took on a glow of purple, blue, red, and yellow. It reflected throughout your entire being. You hit perfect after perfect, head tipped back in laughter as Raph started to trip up, losing his footing and sweating profusely. You on the other hand would never tire.

You were completely energized. You were having fun! It shined in your eyes. It reminded him of how you were when he first created you. When everything he introduced to you excited you.

Donnie felt like such an ass. Keeping you tucked away from the rest of the lair. From his brothers. From the world! As he watched you now he knew he was going to have to change. Because he surely wasn’t letting you go completely. But maybe he needed to loosen up, him and his contract.

Because he wanted you to be like this more. To smile more. To be exuberant and full of life! And he couldn’t stop smiling as you tilted your head towards him. You didn’t falter, you just smiled brighter and winked as the song came to a close and the points were tallied up.

Of course anything created by Donnie would be extraordinary at dancing. Therefore it didn’t surprise him one bit that you received a maximum score of 10,000,000. What did throw him off guard was the rapid pace of his heart. And maybe a bit dizzy? He hadn’t even been the one dancing!

Yeah this wasn’t good!

—————————————————————————

[felassan]

Some DA facts collected together, from recent tweets -

GhilDirthalen: "the frostbite engine didn’t do ending slides, so the slides you see in DAI are actually paintings that quickly spawn in your bed room. You can zoom out during the end with fly cam" John Epler: "i remember when we were trying to do these and we're like 'hey can we display still images' and the answer was 'uhh it's a lot more complicated than you think' so this was the solution. i set up all the cameras, and I THINK level design handled all the scripting logic" JE: "anyways videogames are basically held together by magic and hope and it's a legitimate miracle anytime one gets finished"

JE: "When you 'sprint' on a horse in DAI it doesn't really do much because frostbite couldn't stream in levels fast enough, so we just added speed lines and changed the camera so it felt faster. JE: "i've carried the guilt of this for years. guilt is an ocean, and i'm tired of drowning." "feels like I just murdered Santa Claus in front of many of you" [source], "feels like i just declassified Area 51" [source]. "i'm just glad the truth is finally out there" [source] Seb Hanlon: "ME1 did it first" JE: "just to be SUPER clear, riding a horse is faster than being on-foot, but the difference between normal horse run and horse 'sprint' is non-existent except for making it look faster". "the base horse speed is faster than unhorsed run speed, but horse sprint doesn’t move you faster than normal horse speed" [source] JE: "there were three days on that project where my entire job was ‘try to make horse sprint feel faster’" User: "I swear to god John I knew it, I fucking knew it, none of the mounts have different speeds, either?" JE: "i actually don't know the answer to that one, i just set up the gameplay cameras and did what what i was told." Seb: "but they have different sounds /screams in Red Hart" JE: "no one believed that's what a Red Hart really sounds like but they are fucked up animals."

Seb: "The save system in DAI loads with all doors in the area closed. This is a problem if there’s a door between you and a party member when the save happens, because they can’t open doors. If they can’t path to you, they get teleported to join you before the fade-up from black." Seb: "This “system” was rigged entirely in Frostbite Schematic logic quite late in development once we realized it was a problem." JE: "i vaguely remember that the first time we really saw this problem was when we were putting together the Redcliffe demo for... whatever event we showed Redcliffe at." Seb: "Yeah I think that was the map I tested the teleport-fallback in. Dorian was there in those saves for sure?" JE: "yeah 100%. it was when you first end up in the future and you're fighting your way to the locked-up followers. i think we were playing it in Hanged Man or Neverwinter and we discovered 'oh shit our followers can't get to you'"

Seb: "Zither’s first-pass ability icons originally echoed a broad swath of iconic album art. The UI art team made me so happy. Why didn’t it ship? Ain’t nobody chasing down those IP clearances for an April Fools DLC."

JE: "in DA2 Mark of the Assassin, if you let Baron Arlange live after the first encounter with him, he shows up very deep in the background of several scenes, creeping on Hawke and the party around stalagmites and around corners." "no one asked for this but i put it in as a little treat because i thought it was very funny. i still do. oh the scene where you get captured in the vault by Prosper and his guards, that's the same 5 (6?) guards just cycled through multiple times." [source, two]

JE: "i've told this story before but the reason Iron Bull's romance scene takes place in a separate tower is because the mocap for everyone walking in on you assumed that there was a doorway, and the player's bedroom ended up having stairs. so we moved the scene to the Sex Tower"

Seb: "DAI: To enable party followers’ AI to use their defensive abilities (dodge/block/parries), enemies spawn a “telegraph volume” as part of their ability wind-ups. This tells the party AI what kind of reaction it can use to counter (if it’s not on cooldown and it can branch in time)." "“Parry” telegraphs are the ‘weakest’ (can activate block, dodge, or parry abilities); “dodge” telegraphs are the ‘strongest’ (dodge or get fucked). There’s an all-abilities AI cooldown on these responses; before this was added, I saw Cass perfect block for minutes at a time." [source]

Seb: "the Qunari Ashaad in Trespasser is the only combat creature I personally implemented; and the only one intentionally plays both ranged and melee. and it was great fun watching play-testers climb a ladder to close and shut down his range attack—and get kicked off by the sweep"

Seb: "I’m still personally pleased that the Red Templar faction in DAI has such a strong overarching principle: “power corrupts”. The more elite the creature, the less human they are."

Seb: "Both the Children in DAO Awakening and the Harvester in DAO hide their extra body parts *inside* their torso mesh before they appear."

Seb: "Varric in DA2 is the most specialest snowflake; he’s not like any other dwarf because his rig includes all the Bianca animation bones."

Seb: "DAI’s Emerald Graves was the map where we hammered out the conceptual balance of using abilities based on the enemy composition and position."

Seb: "There’s an animation-driven movement mode in DAI that’s only used by a handful of large creatures; the dragon and the Red Templar Behemoth are the ones I remember."

Seb: "“making two combat creatures at melee range face, and not slide past, each other when they’re playing attack animations” took a surprising amount of problem solving on DAI; most of the basic-attack animations have both moving and standing variations for this reason."

Seb: "30 seconds of good combat gameplay takes more-or-less the same development effort as 10 minutes of good combat gameplay. Which is more than you’d think. IYKYK."

Seb: "The original concept for the Grand Fear Demon at the end of DAI’s Fade was a “level boss” - instead of a single big combat creature (like a dragon), the idea was it was so big it would attack out of the darkness with “limbs” (creatures) that shared a health pool. Cut for scope."

Seb: "The core combat ability animation/effects/branching system in DAI is called “CSM”, for “combat state machine”. It’s the third generation spiritual successor to the first system called CSM that I worked on, built for a project called Revolver…"

Seb: "The “impassable” purple fire zones in Trespasser were a tremendous pain in the ass, because both: - making them do enough damage fast enough to be a lock-and-key for invincibility powers as intended - keeping party members from following you in and getting bug-zappered" User: "I hate to tell you this but my first time through, I was determined to get through and I did not know that invincibility powers were literally down the stairs so I spent 10 minutes and eventually managed to get through with some mage shenanigans" Seb: "by the time we got to trespasser there were so many abilities you MIGHT have that MIGHT JUST get you through that we gave it our best shot and said “good enough”" User: "I died at that thing SO MANY TIMES until I realized there was an invincibility boost, lol" Seb: "clearly signaling “THIS IS A THING YOU WILL DO LATER” without saying it, especially if it’s a mechanical systems thing, can be surprisingly difficult"

Seb: "during development on DAI someone made a staff that, when used (hit the ground with the butt animation) spawned a bunch of nugs that ran off in all directions. for checking pathmesh bounds, obvs"

[ms-demeanor]

As I understand it you work in enterprise computer acquisitions?

TL;DR What's the general vibe for AI accelerating CPUs in the enterprise world for client compute?

Have you had any requests from your clients to help them upgrade their stuff to Core Ultra/Whateverthefuck Point with the NPUs? Or has the corporate world generally shown resistance rather than acquiescence to the wave of the future? I'm so sorry for phrasing it like that I had no idea how else to say that without using actual marketing buzzwords and also keeping it interesting to read.

I know in the enterprise, on-die neural acceleration has been ruining panties the world over (Korea's largest hyperscaler even opted for Intel Sapphire Rapids CPUs over Nvidia's Hopper GPUs due to poor supply and not super worth it for them specifically uplift in inference performance which was all that they really cared about), and I'm personally heavily enticed by the new NPU packing processors from both Team Red and Team We Finally Fucking Started Using Chiplets Are You Happy Now (though in large part for the integrated graphics). But I'm really curious to know, are actual corporate acquisitions folks scooping up the new AI-powered hotness to automagically blur giant pink dildos from the backgrounds of Zoom calls, or is it perceived more as a marketing fad at the moment (a situation I'm sure will change in the next year or so once OpenVINO finds footing outside of Audacity and fucking GIMP)?

So sorry for the extremely long, annoying, and tangent-laden ask, hope the TL;DR helps.

Ninety eight percent of our end users use their computers for email and browser stuff exclusively; the other two percent use CAD in relatively low-impact ways so none of them appear to give a shit about increasing their processing power in a really serious way.

Like, corporately speaking the heavy shit you're dealing with is going to be databases and math and computers are pretty good at dealing with those even on hardware from the nineties.

When Intel pitched the sapphire processors to us in May of 2023 the only discussion on AI was about improving performance for AI systems and deep learning applications, NOT using on-chip AI to speed things up.

The were discussing their "accelerators," not AI and in the webinar I attended it was mostly a conversation about the performance benefits of dynamic load balancing and talking about how different "acclerators" would redistribute processing power. This writeup from Intel in 2022 shows how little AI was part of the discussion for Sapphire Rapids.

In August of 2023, this was the marketing email for these processors:

So. Like. The processors are better. But AI is a marketing buzzword.

And yeah every business that I deal with has no use for the hot shit; we're still getting bronze and silver processors and having zero problems, though I work exclusively with businesses with under 500 employees.

Most of the demand that I see from my customers is "please can you help us limp this fifteen year old SAN along for another budget cycle?"

[elexuscal]

Ficlet prompt idea! Interactions between ART and Pin-Lee and/or Mensah in the time after NE but before SC.

More thoughts if you wanted more inspiration than a single line. Does Pin-Lee teach ART some new curses ('cause ART curses alot more in this book, and I wanna blame Pin-Lee like how Rhatti mentions the overlap between MB and Pin-Lee's curse vocab)? How great would their banter be, lawyer vs know-it-all-AI?!

Is ART still kinda shy/excited by meeting Mensah?

Thank you~ I really love your work!!!

Awwww thank you very much!

Oh man i was so spoiled for choice here but i really really struggled to think of an interesting take on this

Big thank you to @specialagentartemis who i paraphrased a significant chunk of this from as well as general Vibes

Asshole vs Asshole

So here's the thing. Here's the fucking thing, okay?

Twenty-three days. Twenty-three fucking days of waiting, of worrying, of preparing. Of nearly chewing her own arm off. Of thinking she was walk into a fucking blood bath.

And the Preservation Alliance rescue team finally gets to the scene of the crime, and no one is dead. Which is fucking good, obviously. Okay. She gets it. No one's dead, no one's lost any limbs, and praise the dark gods of yesteryear, no one has even been kidnapped. This is literally better than the best-case scenarios they concocted.

But surely, surely, Pin-Lee can't be the only one who thinks it is fucking weird to be having tea with the person who did the kidnapping in the fist place?

"Thank you, Perihelion," Ayda says, as a shiny blue drone finishes pouring tea into a cup. Just a whiff and a glance is all Pin-Lee needs to know it was brewed exactly the way Dr. Mensah prefers it.

The drone turns to hover to her. It pours a drink into her own mug. Pin-Lee glares at it.

Ayda doesn't look at her, doesn't so much as tilt her head. But they've worked together for a long, long time now, and Pin-Lee nonetheless reads the subtler body language. She grinds out, "Thank you."

She sips the drink. It is coffee and it is extremely bitter and it's warm-but-not-quite-hot and Pin-Lee has a sneaking suspicion it is at least a few hours old.

[You're welcome~] Perihelion's trills as the drone zooms away.

Peri. Fucking. Helion.

Turns out, it's the one that orchestrated this whole thing. The super-secret advanced spaceship that SecUnit apparently befriended while it was off on its journey of self-discovery or whatever decided that it knew exactly who could handle its little pest control problem, and hadn't much cared which innocent civilians got stuck in the cross-fire.

"There were extenuating circumstances," SecUnit had explained, face set like it was ready for a fight.

"It's all fine, water under the bridge," Ratthi had said. "No harm done really."

"Except for the new layers of fresh trauma," Overse had groused.

"But we're handling that, too," Arada had said, with a too-bright smile. "And it's a good thing we're here to help the colonists."

"Yeah yeah and you should see ART's hydroponics bay, it's super cool," said Amena, tugging on her arm.

So suffice to say she was kind of getting some Mixed Signals about this whole thing.

But okay! Corporates descending to steal the livelihoods of hundreds of innocents! Fine! There's a lot at stake! And this is what Pin-Lee is good at, and (sort of) what she was dragged along to handle, so she is willing to put this all aside for the greater good.

Pin-Lee sips at her under-handed-insult coffee and reads over the legal feed documents of this whole cluster-fuck of a case. "Okay," she says at last. "Okay, this is salvageable. But I'm going to need to some more info before I can fully revise this.."

"Of course," says the captain of The Perihelion, a note of genuine relief in his otherwise professional voice. "What do you need?"

"1: A full list of all the symptoms associated with the contamination, and its speed of spread. That'll influence what level of breach this is classified under. 2: Estimates for all of the colonists deaths that were directly caused due to their being stranded. 3: Monetary evaluation of all the colonists' remaining assets..."

"Of course," the captain agrees

Which is fine. Except fifteen minutes later some teenager not-much-older-than-Amena shows up and hands Pin-Lee a stack of paper.

"What's this?" Pin-Lee says, her eyes immediately skidding off of the hand-written tables and charts.

"That's our evaluation of the colonists' assets, like you asked for," the teenager (Turi?) says.

Pin-Lee looks at Turi, to the papers, and back at Turi again. "Can I get this in the feed?"

"Well.... You can..." Turi says, a bit of red in their cheeks. "But..."

"But no guarantee the numbers won't be doctored there," calls Karime from the other side of the lounge.

Teeth grinding in the back of her mouth, Pin-Lee manages, "What?"

[My numbers are perfectly accurate,] Perihelion protests. [It is hardly my fault if none of you are capable of following the calculations.]

Martyn snorts. "It would help if you bothered explaining all your sources."

[Find them yourself.]

Pin-Lee can barely believe what she's hearing. "Are you telling me... that your AI keeps fucking with the numbers so bad that you need to get a teenager to do the accounts by hand."

"I'm not a teenager, I'm twenty-three." Pin-Lee huffs; as if that's a meaningful difference. "And I'm a very, very good accountant." Turi pauses, then admits, "But that's the long and short of it, yes."

Pin-Lee can't help it. She drops her head to the table and hides it under her arms.

[Do you have a problem with this state of affairs?] the very aptly re-named Asshole Research Transport oozes in her private feed.

[You really don't need me to answer that.]

[You're right. I don't.]

She uncurls her finger and makes a rude gesture. Presumably one of its thousands of cameras will see it.

That summons SecUnit into the conversation. [Are you two fucking with each other again?]

[No,] they say in unison.

[Cut it out,] SecUnit says, and then drops away. Truly a master of conflict resolution, that one.

'I'll cut it out when you learn to make nicer friends', she almost sends, but catches the obvious come-back and stops herself. Instead she takes sip of her shitty coffee and gets to work trying to interpret hand-written accounts.

[davantagedenuit]

the nothing picture

super-short. cannot at this time truly account for how this came to be. T for mentions of.

--- --- --- ---

Two minutes and 18 seconds.

Clark looked up from his work. “That’s all it took?” he said.

Bruce nodded.

“I mean. They can’t be real people, right?”

Bruce shook his head.

“So they ran some AI on us as soon as it was online…”

Bruce nodded.

The picture was nothing. Superman was leaning toward Batman, looking at some metal shard lodged in a brick wall. They were close. But they fought alien monstrosities together for fletcher’s sake: they had their hands all over each other all the time. But: from another angle, and the picture was blurry, but if you still zoomed in a bit, you could get something. And that something was Superman’s back overlapping Batman’s front, both heads tilted just right for their mouths to apparently align.

Nothing. “Just saying, Perry would can that picture to hell and back,” Clark had said when he’d seen it. “That’s a settlement shot. We publish it, they sue, we settle.”

Bruce had clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Indeed, the internet and Perry White were two very different creatures.

Clark had gone home. In the cave, Bruce had peered more scrutinously at the computer. He acquired over fifty copies of the file, but the original eluded him. It came out on The Verge at 10:11 and 15 seconds. Two minutes and 18 seconds later, a gif surfaced. A pisspoor job of one, but Batman’s hands were on Superman’s back, and their heads moved this way and that to signify kissing.

With their short refractory period and varied enthusiastic partners, gifs have one of the quickest and most efficient reproduction rate in the media kingdom.

And so here Clark was, looking at three screens worth of Batman and Superman getting it on in various ways, positions and states of undress.

He looked at a minimized tab in the fourth screen. “What’s that?”

Bruce drank from his tea.

“There’s more of it?”

Bruce put his tea cup down. “That’s the porn.”

Clark looked at the tab and back to Bruce.

“You want to-…?”

Clark took a cup from the tray. “No. I’m good,” he said.

“Lois showed them to you already, right?”

Clark nodded.

“And Cat?”

“Yep.”

“They’re on the Daily Planet group chat.”

“Yep.”

Bruce’s hands went over his face.

[thecutestgrotto]

question! im considering doing dividers as gifts for my friends and I was wondering if you had any tips? is it a better idea to hand draw the designs to avoid any potential copyright issues or is using free to distribute clip resources okay?

I know how to draw and do edits just fine I’m just not sure what other graphic artists do in this regard

Hi anon!

Okay, so this is going to be a little long winded and maybe stuff you might know about the process, but I hope it’ll be helpful as a guide for others too maybe? Tips under the cut otherwise everyone’s gonna have to scroll through it.

1. Personally, I LOVE Canva because it has a library of pre-uploaded elements and its super easy to use. Like if I search stars hundreds of individual elements come up as results.

(I know some people also use Visme, which I don’t have any real experience with, but it’s an alternative with good reviews.)

As long as you are not claiming each individual element is your own creation, you’re in the clear. People making graphics like these almost always use premade elements and combine or edit them into a unique piece. That being said, if you claim that an individual element is your own, you’ll probably be called out. I don’t know how familiar you are with the community so forgive me if I sound condescending: the graphics/digital art community is a wild place when it comes to plagiarism but it’s good that artists look out for each other.

Anyway. Creators that upload designs/elements/templates to Canva are aware that they can be changed/edited. If you have Canva pro (which I recommend because you can do transparent PNGs so easily) some elements are only available via pro subscription and you’re compensating the creator for the use of the element and however you change it.

Basically, the divider/graphic is yours, but the individual elements are theirs. You don’t need to give credit because it’s like using stamps or stickers. For example: You wouldn’t typically use Lisa frank stickers on a coloring page and then credit Lisa frank in the corner of the paper. ⚠️I strongly urge you to stay away from AI art. Generators steal from artists to create what the user searches for!⚠️

2. Hand drawing can get a little tricky. You have to be careful with your dimensions and even file size sometimes. In my personal experience, if you’re new to this type of graphic art you should wait until you’re comfortable with it. It can get confusing. I’ve had MANY graphics come out a blurry, frustrating mess and I’m by no means the best divider maker/graphic artist on the planet.

An extra example: my Cute Coquette set vs my Dark Siren set. Technically, there’s nothing wrong with the coquette ones, but they look fuzzy/blurry. I made them when I was first starting out and I struggled with how to line up the right dimensions. I keep them up because as much as I don’t like how blurry they are, it shows my progress and I’m rather fond of them. It’s not even close to what I do now, like the Dark Sirens, which even zoomed out have a lot of detail but are clear and defined. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3. To avoid said blurring, I recommend using these canvas sizes:

Banners and headers: 1055px x 500px, I’ve also done 3000px x 500px.

Standard Size Dividers: 3000px x 240px

Thicker/Thinner Dividers: Basically you can go as thin or thick as you want as long as that first number is 3000px. I added a screenshot of ones I’ve used recently that might help.

I think if you’re using software like procreate, the canvas sizes are the same but you’ll have to go through some extra steps if you want to get it into canva or whatever graphic editing software you’re using.

4. Lastly and most importantly, just have fun. Play around with the settings and figure out what works best for you!! You of course can DM me with more questions, but I hope this at least helped a little bit.

🩵🌸

*Edited 2 hours after posting to add personal examples, and this little guide can now be found in my navigation post!*

[ryo-maybe]

Ryo, we must save the Blue Archives

THIS SUMMER

*A jaunty little tune, accordion and mandolin singing together in lively unison, accompanies the camera as it pans across a sunny Mediterranean cityscape and through a window. Fading transition to a shot of tomato sauce being stirred inside an open rice cooker with a baguette. The camera follows the baguette as a French-Italian man uses it to taste the sauce and smiles, satisfied.*

"Ryo, we must save the Blue Archives!"

A YOUNG MAN'S NORMAL LIFE TAKES AN UNEXPECTED TURN

*A wall explodes in a deluge of debris and fog, the music turning into some trite Two Steps From Hell bullshit. The camera zooms in from a low angle as a buff Southern Asian man emerges and strikes that one pose Dwayne Johnson makes all the time, you know the one.*

THE TRUTH REVEALED, HE SHALL SUSPEND HIS DISBELIEF... OR DIE!

*Several phone screens are shown in rapid sequence, a finger flicking frantically through pictures of young anime women endowed with plentiful bosoms, all dressed in a variety of differently designed high school uniforms.*

"The data doesn't lie. The average Blue Archive girl's breast size is indirectly proportional to her age."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"Don't you get it, Ryo? They're highschoolers. All of them."

"No way. Not Asuna. Come on."

*Sal meets Ryo's eyes. His gaze is mirthless, his voice grave, his pecs rock-hard.*

"Asuna. Karin. Hanako. All of them. All of them..."

DIVIDED BY FATE AND BLOOD.

*The camera pans around a skyscraper's windswept rooftop. A teary-eyed Ryo and an enraged Sal, bruised and battered, their clothes a torn mess, are respectively pointing a wooden spoon and a tablet pen at each other.*

"I refuse to see it!"

"You can't just pretend they're not kids, Ryo!"

"Can you pretend I'm not French, Sal!?"

*Sal gasps*

UNITED BY PURPOSE AND SWEAT.

*Slowmo montage of Ryo and Sal laughing as they toss flour at each other in a kitchen, jog at the beach, hit each other with joypads while playing Mario Party. Ryo is shown lifting a 5kg dumbbell with great effort. The camera immediately pans down to show he's sitting on the 80kg barbell Sal is lifting.*

TRANSCENDING HISTORY AND THE WORLD, A TALE OF GAMBLING AND ART, ETERNALLY UNTOLD

*The music reaches the zenith of its crescendo, accompanying a montage of several scenes: Ryo frantically typing on his keyboard in front of a screen showcasing a Fandom Wikia; Sal slamming a Jalter dakimakura into a display case full of FGO figures; Ryo and Sal falling through a swirling vortex of AI-generated art.*

THE LINE BETWEEN ART AND CONTEXT SHALL BE DRAWN IN BLOOD

*Ryo and Sal standing back to back, surrounded by a horde of Arataki Itto cosplayers.*

"I never thought I'd destroy a mobage side by side with a French..."

"What about side by side with an Italian?"

"Heh... aye, I could do that."

SUPER GACHA BROS - FRAGMENTS OF BLUE AND ARCHIVE

*The screen turns black, lingering for a few seconds until, preceded by an activation noise, a silhouette appears from the darkness, backlit by blue light.*

"Excuse me for.. dropping in."

ONLY IN THEATERS

[no-stupid-questions-official]

i mentioned offhandedly that i have reservations against using AI for assignments (the first part of our assignment was to ask chatGPT how the thing we are studying can apply to our field of interest, then do a presentation on stuff we got from that) and now my professor who is super into AI wants to have a serious discussion hearing my concerns for "important student perspective" before the school drafts its official AI policy and i about shit my pants. i am absolutely not going to have a zoom call with her about it like she suggested but i would be open to email but i dont even know how to actually broach this. like my main issue is that itll straight up make things up so im not comfortable using it academically even in ways where its not academically dishonest and i think using it is actually making students more tech-illiterate if they dont understand that, but idk i think im so nervous that i dont know what to say or do. so.... what would you say if you were me? lol

-

[koboldfactory]

i have no clue why it was you, but i had a dream last night where i went to your blog and you were using ai to make fucked up looking trailers for imaginary splatoon dlc

the only things about the trailer i remember are that the player was walking around a dark canyon at night with super blown out saturated colors, and the terrain moved and melted around the player in this super nauseating, dreamlike way. and at the end of the trailer it zoomed out into a shot of a planet (cartoon 2d cutout style) with its perimeter covered in something like a city made of woodblocks

That’s so strange and silly lol. It combines two things I have basically zero interest in: AI, and Splatoon

[hyrulehobbit]

RECOGNISING AI GENERATED IMAGES

(Disclaimer: This is not a foolproof guide as these softwares are constantly changing, but it is intended to help you learn things to possibly look out for.)

We've all heard "count the fingers, count the teeth" for AI generated images of people, but more and more frequently I see people sharing images of objects and scenery that are AI generated without realising it. These people are often vocally anti-AI but still get caught out. This post is not intended to shame or make anyone feel bad for not recognising AI imagery. Usually, AI images posted on platforms like tumblr are not tagged as AI; the OP is often fully intending to trick you just to gain some quick numbers, so it's not your fault that their tactics work. They're designed to be pretty at a glance and betting on you not looking any closer.

So, that out of the way: How can I spot and avoid AI Generated images?

Here's some things I've learned to pick up on, and now I can spot them pretty much on sight.

Full guide under the cut. Contains AI images as examples.

1. Source

Your first easy step is to check if there's a source. Remember when everything on tumblr was just credited to weheartit?? This is the new worse version of that. If the image has no source in the description describing an artist, photographer, brand, location etc... check the original post.

If there's nothing in the tags to indicate that it is art or a piece of photography or an advertisement, it could be AI. Sometimes the caption is just something generic or aesthetic like ~witchy cottage life~ etc. The tags above for the image below of the room with the tree are largely nonsense.

Important note: A watermark does not always indicate a photographer or artist: if you think it might be AI but it has a watermark, that will most likely lead you to the socials for the person who created the image using AI.

2. Visual Soup

Zoom. In. It sucks to feel like you have to get into the habit of pausing and closely checking the details of images on platforms designed for infinite scroll and quick engagement, but if you get into the habit of this, soon you'll be learning to spot AI at a quick scroll glance.

Generally, when you zoom in on a photograph, the details and divisions of where one object ends and another begins still stays the same, just out of focus. Zooming in on an AI image, the details become... soup. Why is that plant morphing into the countertops? Why is the tap floating? Why are there five thousand burner dials???

The same applies to art. Zooming in on art reveals things like brush strokes, pencil lines, pixels, imperfections and intentional small details. If zooming in reveals soupy details that don't look like intentional stylistic choices it could be AI.

3. Interior Design Disasters

One thing AI doesn't seem to be good at is separating the depth and layers of rooms full of furniture, and making things sit properly in their 3D space. Window frames are wonky. Chairs and tables are fused to each other, or to walls. Bookcases get narrower at one end when they really shouldn't. A little wonkiness is fine and expected in artwork, but when the whole thing isn't sitting right, it could be AI.

(Compare the white image on the right to these real photographs of a similar house, and notice how messy and nonsensical the AI image seems).

(Edit 03/06/2023: See also this abstract furniture that still has a proper sense of depth and doesn't merge into the background)

4. Toothpaste

I don't know what else to call this but midjourney effing loves it. I most commonly see this on things like AI generated objects, outfits and garments rather than scenery. It looks like the software has applied all the details with a piping bag. Weird, greebly swirls like it's hoping you won't notice if it adds enough visual noise. Notice it. It's AI. And it looks super fucking weird.

Midjourney also loves adding weird concentric circles to everything, which can be seen in the image example for Lighting below.

5. Giblets

What is that bowl of stuff?? What is on that shelf?? What's that pile of...things?? They're giblets. This is another prominent midjourney feature and another example of visual noise. Stuff it with details, and maybe the viewer won't notice that what they're actually looking at is a lumpy pile of nonsense that definitely shouldn't exist. Spot the giblets!

6. Lighting

This one is hardest to describe and to spot, but I often find that the lighting in AI images of scenery and objects has a flat, dream-like quality. Once you study it, it begins to feel distinctly unreal.

7. Names

Lastly, some people do state that an image is AI in their descriptions or tags, but might not do so in those exact words. If you aren't already familiar, here's the names of the most prominant AI generators as of May 2023:

Midjourney

Dall-E or Dall-E 2

Stable Diffusion

Deep Dream

Artbreeder

WOMBO

NightCafe

Lensa

Stablecog

BigSleep

Brands such as Bing, Google, Shutterstock and Canva are also bringing out generators

8. Multiple Angles (added 03/06/2023)

I forgot to add this earlier, but it's another very simple tell! If the images are objects, garments or rooms... are there multiple images in the post of the same object or location from different angles? No? Then it could be AI. The shoes used as Toothpaste examples above were part of a set of lots of different shoes, but of each design there was only one image. AI is Not Good at creating the same thing twice consistently.

(See these photographs of hair pins. The post contains a source link to the photographer's flikr account, where there are multiple images of each pin in different angles and lighting, confirming that they're real.)

If I think of anything else or some new tell starts to appear, I will come back and update this post, but for now, thank you for reading. My hope for this is that people will either share AI generated images less, or if they do, at least learn to spot and tag them so that those who don't want to see them (aka me!) can filter and avoid.

[themostsplendidcreature]

hate that whenever i see a cool piece of art that looks really polished and professional i'm like wow! until i remember it's 2024, sigh and open it in a new tab and zoom in, and yep.

its AI.

sure, not all super polished art is AI but its just really disappointing to see something look amazing but know there was no thought or emotion put into it at all.