#ACCIDENTALLY WROTE AN ESSAY AGAIN I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS...

[bravevolunteer]

@slaughterlocked asked: 💬 + rumour has it you’re more of a murderer than i thought. ( — because i’m insane over this ! )

ANOTHER INCIDENT REPORTED on TV, in the local newspaper, in just about every corner of Hurricane the information could possibly spread… the tragedy’s impact is inescapable. Increased disappearances, missing children, police tape over the doors of the restaurant as they comb through every single corner. Michael already endured the questioning— his tense demeanor talking to the police must have been noticeable ( the town’s law enforcement aren’t usually his biggest fans… and everyone here knows Michael Afton’s name for one thing ). Many questions he couldn’t answer, others made him sick to his stomach with memories he cannot choke up— he’s heard his father come home concerningly late some nights, seen him cross the living room with a look in his eyes that sent a chill up Michael’s spin, any growing suspicion always silenced by swift reinforcements of his weak points. Regardless, there wasn’t anything to incriminate him, and Michael got off with a curt nod and encouragement to contact them if he saw anything.

But small town rumors don’t care about things like that.

His return to school since the most recent incident had been brutal, hardly able to push through the hallways without feeling countless sets of eyes burning into him. It reminds him of how they looked at him after Evan: a nauseating mix of fear, anger, and pity, yet there is no shred of sympathy in most gazes now. Anyone who doesn’t outright avoid him is accusatory— spitting comments in his direction, just waiting for Michael to snap and prove them all RIGHT. He dares to react and he’s the angry murderer, the piece of shit freak who killed his brother and those KIDS, and Michael doesn’t know how much more of it he can endure.

Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.

“Where’d you hear that?” Michael snaps, even though he already knows. Because he reacted. He couldn’t stand the fucking looks and jeers and let his temper win and had to be dragged away by the arms near thrashing in a stupid, desperate attempt to deflect the crushing blame and get ANYONE on his side. They called home. Of course they did.

The comment from his father stings, but it doesn’t surprise him. He expects it, finds a sick sort of steadiness in it even, and embraces the way it takes its place writhing underneath his skin or on the mountain of things that are wrong with him. Who is he without the wound at this point?

Out of impulse, or maybe Michael just doesn’t care what his father says to him for it this time, he retaliates: “Kind of a low blow there from you— just… seems lazy, since this is your problem. You were there too, you know what they found on me.” Nothing. Even still, an overwhelming guilt that he can’t explain threatens to swallow him: he didn’t kill those kids, but he feels completely responsible. Michael thinks about the stares again. One of his classmates… their sibling is missing, and they MUST think it was him. Michael’s head spins. “Sorry to disappoint. Again.”

[prahacat]

my sleep-deprived brain hyperfixated on the confrontation scene between gamemaker Dooku and a traumatized Obi-Wan, and I somehow, accidentally, wrote an entire essay? no one asked, so I'm just gonna quietly drop it here for anyone interested. and flee into the night

(mostly general thoughts on their motivations. probably works for similar fics about an Obi-Wan & Dooku survival alliance in a post-order 66 AU)

the post that started it for reference

So, the premise: the Jedi death games have been going on for a while before Dooku approaches Obi-Wan to reveal himself as the secret gamemaker …

It all starts when Obi-Wan ends up "backstage" after three or four soul-shattering rounds of games. Maybe he sneaks around the facility searching for an escape, maybe he receives an enforced invitation, maybe he's injured and whisked off by the clones, it doesn't matter. At that point, he's barely holding it together. He's watched his friends and comrades get picked off one by one in these gruesome games, shot by the very men he trusted. And not because they lacked strength or skill, but because in a system like this, survival often comes down to a split second or a single misstep. Or just plain luck. After all, someone has to die because the spectators demand blood. And it's Obi-Wan who survives, again and again. Survivor’s guilt doesn't even begin to describe what he's feeling. Did the Jedi who died simply draw the short straw? Or could he have done more? Should he have fought harder? Taken their place?

Enter Dooku … and this is when Obi-Wan's world truly falls apart.

Dooku, who Obi-Wan believed was long dead, is not only alive but running the entire macabre spectacle. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Dooku now drops the bitter truth: these games, this entire nightmare, everything, was rigged. Obi-Wan didn't survive because of his brains, or his training, or sheer dumb luck. His survival was handed to him by a man he despises.

This revelation is devastating for Obi-Wan. Because even after the horrors of O66, Obi-Wan could at least cling to his unwavering belief in fairness, in integrity, in shouldering what needs to be done, even at great personal cost. Dooku's manipulation crushes all of that. Obi-Wan didn't survive because of his own actions or fate, but because his survival was handed to him by someone he despises.

It's revolting. It def makes Obi-Wan hate Dooku. But sadly, it also makes Obi-Wan hate himself.

Now entering hc territory, but I think, deep down, Obi-Wan has always wrestled with his self-worth. As a Padawan, he constantly felt the weight of expectations, never quite believing he measured up. Even as General Kenobi, a paragon of strength and resilience, he questioned his decisions and much of these buried doubts and insecurities manifested in his tendency for self-sacrifice.

And here is Dooku—Qui-Gon's master—who is all but telling him he deserves survival the most since he's the smartest and most capable Jedi, the most valuable ally. Dooku even hints (though he would NEVER admit it outright) at some twisted sense of affection or respect for Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do with that. How is he supposed to feel about that? Grateful? Disgusted? Ashamed? Yes. All of it, all at once. He's probably sitting there, picking apart every single choice he made, wondering: Does knowing the games were rigged make him less guilty for surviving? Does it make him more guilty? Does he even want to know which parts were his own doing and which were manipulated by Dooku?

In short, Obi-Wan has way too many feelings and no capacities left to process them.

On the other side of this little reunion, there's Dooku. He's such a mess and I love it.

Dooku has always been defined by his arrogance, his belief that the Jedi were blind, weak, and incapable of saving the galaxy. He genuinely believed the Order deserved to fall because the Jedi were relics of a failed system, too passive to save the galaxy. That's literally the justification he cites for every betrayal and every Jedi he's killed. And now (unlike in canon where he is, well, dead) he is actually witnessing the slow and bloody downfall of the Order. He should be celebrating this moment, basking in his vindication.

Instead, he's forced to grovel for Obi-Wan's help (very dignified & arrogant groveling ofc, but it’s still groveling). Dooku needs Obi-Wan. Not just as an ally to escape this hellhole, but, more importantly, as a lifeline to his own crumbling logic.

Because Dooku didn't win. He's not a triumphant Sith Lord leading a grand galactic revolution. He's a discarded pawn, granted a few more weeks of life, so he can run a glorified execution factory. This is different from the war. Sure, he's technically orchestrating the Order's fall, but it's a twisted parody of his goals. There's no glory in this artificial system of death and suffering. It's just senseless violence, broadcast for the galaxy's entertainment. And suddenly, he finds that watching his former comrades die one by one doesn't give him a feeling of satisfaction and purpose. If anything, it makes him realize that he's always been what they are now: a mere toy in a much larger game, manipulated by powers he doesn't fully understand.

But here's the thing: none of that even matters. Dooku can't afford to let his logic crumble, no matter how hollow it feels now. It's the only thing he has left to justify everything he's done. He desperately needs to convince Obi-Wan to help him, and he has nothing else to offer. So Dooku does what he always does: he doubles down. He tells Obi-Wan that this was all necessary. That he couldn't save everyone and Obi-Wan was the best choice. That the weaker Jedi would have fallen anyway. He might even frame his actions as pragmatic and altruistic: Do you truly believe I saved you out of sentiment, Obi-Wan? You have a purpose yet to fulfill—a greater role. If you wish to escape this nightmare, to bring down Sidious and Vader, then you must see the truth. You and I, together, are the only ones who stand a chance. And he sounds convincing—because he has to. Without this narrative, Dooku is left with nothing but the blood on his hands. And without Obi-Wan as the last-ditch symbol of a lost cause, the savior of this narrative, Dooku's existence now becomes meaningless.

So I'm picturing them having this tense, almost frantic back-and-forth somewhere in a dim backroom, away from the cams and the chaos and spectacle of the arena, the air between them thick with desperation and bitterness. They're not just arguing with each other, they're fighting a battle with themselves and their own crumbling ideals.

Obi-Wan's belief in fairness, selflessness, equality, everything that once defined him, has been shattered by his survivor's guilt and the sheer cruel nihilism of these games. He's trying so hard to cling to the version of himself that still believed in those values, as if he could will himself back to being the Jedi he used to be. And Dooku's cold, calculated pragmatism—the philosophy he built his Sith identity around—is finally cracking under the weight of hollow victories and a lifetime of regret. He believed he had the galaxy figured out, only to find himself cast aside, irrelevant, and now he's clinging to the last remnants of his fading power.

And they see it. They know. That moment is like looking into a mirror, both painfully realizing that their philosophies, their identities, the frameworks that steered them into and through the war, they don't hold up anymore. But they've got nothing else. They're at a stalemate. So they do the only thing they can: they keep repeating the same scripts they've used for years. Keep playing the game, because if they stop, then what is left? And even then, none of that matters. They debate and blame and guilt-trip—but none of it has any weight in their situation. Everything boils down to one cold, hard truth: right now, they need each other to survive. That's it. These two men, once known for their way with words, have reached a point where there's really nothing left to say.

Honestly, I can see this scene so vividly in my head and it's so beautifully raw and devastating. I have so many feelings about these two idiots, I wish I could slather them onto a 10-layer sandwich and eat them so I could digest them into words.

[ninoisntluka]

Okay so I literally cannot get Anon and Taki out of my head because they’re just so interesting. Like they can’t stand each other, but both of them have something that the other needs, so they have to stick together. And sure, part of it is their bad first impression, but I think the biggest reason they don’t get along is because they’re so much like each other, and they don’t particularly like themselves that much either. And since one of their main similarities is their insecurity, they're incredibly jealous of whatever the other person has that they’re lacking.

Like Anon wants to be popular, but she can’t be popular if she’s in a bad band. She knows what it’s like to put herself out there and fail, so she won’t let that happen again. Meanwhile Taki wants to be in a band with Tomori, but because Taki’s quick to anger and kind of tactless when speaking, she’s really bad at keeping bands together. Honestly it doesn’t really look like she has many friends outside of Urimi. But Anon has the social skills that Taki doesn’t have, and can use it to get people to do what she wants. Meanwhile Taki actually knows what she’s doing on the band front and can write music and get Anon to a level where she can play properly in front of a large crowd.

I have a whole lot of thoughts about them so I wrote a whole essay under the cut

Like take a look at their practice once they got going for real, when Anon wasn’t struggling to catch up anymore and can actually let her talents shine. Raana is bothering Taki about doing another live and Taki cannot handle her. They get stuck in an infinite loop because they’re both stubborn and have a one-track mind. But Anon is the one who shows Taki that giving Raana a treat can distract her, at least for a little bit. And then later when they are at Soyo’s House, Taki does the exact same trick to get Raana to sit still for a bit. Anon is also the one who insists on costumes and a name for a band, something that is pretty important, but that Taki doesn’t really focus on because she needs to work on making a new song in only a couple of days.

Meanwhile, on the day of the actual live, Anon is an actual mess. She was the least involved in actually writing the song, other than Soyo but Soyo’s acting like she doesn’t care so we won’t count her. Meaning instead, Taki is the one who has to take the lead with the band. And although Taki later says that even she isn’t too sure how ready the song is, she’s at least confident enough to put on a brave face when it comes to music, since she’s in her element. But the thing is, neither of them are actually very confident in the thing they’re strongest in.

Anon’s thing is that she’s really good at communicating. On her first day of class, she managed to join a friend group super easily! And despite only knowing Tomori for like a day, she’s really good at picking up whatever Tomori was feeling and was super gentle and accommodating, which is really impressive considering Tomori always had trouble connecting with people and having them understand her. And on only her first day, Anon was able to pick up the hottest recent trend, that everyone was in a band, and was able to get in on that real fast. She was voted the student council president in middle school. And when she accidentally insults Soyo’s friend in front of her, Anon is able to smooth that over real well. And yeah, part of the reason Soyo didn’t mind was because she was using Anon as a link to Taki and Tomori, sure, but if that were me I would have been mortified, so the fact Anon kept her cool is a testament to how good at these things she can be.

But when she goes to England, she loses that. She can’t keep up with English conversations because what she studied wasn’t enough. She got complacent because she was praised for being good at English for a Japanese Middle Schooler, but when actually struggled she couldn’t keep at it. She felt overwhelmed by how everyone there was already better than her and started to feel insecure in her own ability to speak English. And so, she can’t communicate with anyone, she can’t even get them to call her Anon. Unlike in Japan, where she can easily make friends who admire her, she’s alone in England. So she runs away back to Japan. And this failure haunts her. When Anon reveals this to Tomori, she also says it isn’t a one time thing, that she always runs away when things start getting hard.

And Taki is the one who calls her out on this. Anon got easily carried away with learning beginner’s chords, but that’s not enough for the level of band Mygo could be. Anon’s just not really that good when it comes to Music. It’s really not her fault. Compared to Soyo, Raana, and Taki, she has the least experience other than Tomori, and Tomori is a lyrical genius. And although Anon was pretty good for a hastily put together band in middle school, it’s not enough. She got to a level where people would praise her for picking up the guitar so fast, but being good for a beginner isn’t the same as being good at a guitar. If she had continued like this, she probably would have ended up just like what happened in England, where she got overconfident in her English and got scared when she realized that people already there were at another level. And it’s not just Taki being mean to Anon since even Soyo told Taki that someone would have to tell Anon this eventually. Then again this is Soyo so maybe not the most unbiased source. But come on, Anon isn’t even the best guitarist in Mygo, Taki was onto something here.

But really, it isn’t the music that Taki does better than Anon, but determination. Anon could not follow through when she realized she was out of her league, and would quickly give up. But Taki doesn’t do that. Even when Taki feels like she’s not as good as Saki or her sister, Taki keeps on working. I can’t say it’s healthy for her though.

But yeah, Taki is also wallowing in the regret of her failures. Taki’s sister is a sore spot for her, and although we haven’t seen her yet, she’s the president of the brass band club at Soyo’s school, plays in a local orchestra, and even won a contest, so it’s a safe guess that she’s a very talented musician. And it’s an even safer guess that Taki really doesn’t get along with her sister. When Soyo first brought her up, Taki got annoyed by her compliments. And when she needed information on Soyo, Taki was more willing to go to Mutsumi, a person who Taki hadn’t spoken to since their last band broke up, rather than her sister. It’s probably one-sided though too, considering Taki’s sister was more than willing to help Taki by telling her about the show their brass band club was putting on.

But like, we don’t exactly know what caused Taki to be so jealous of her sister. I mean it’s pretty obviously about music, but still. What we do know is that she was mentioned in the same breath as Sakiko though, so we’ll just say it’s about composing for now. Later we hear that Taki only picked up composing in middle school, but she struggles with it. Taki has to deal with Raana’s Musical Improvisation, account for Anon’s inexperience, and write notes for Tomori’s lyrics, which she idolizes. And try as she might, Taki isn’t Saki. She isn’t able to effortlessly put together sheet music that can fit Tomori’s legendary lyrics and compensate for everyone else’s quirks like Saki did. She isn’t accomplished like her sister. And this gets to her.

Just like how Taki picked up on Anon’s insecurity about running away, Anon picks up on Taki’s issue as well, that Taki will not let anyone in and try and do everything herself. Taki knows that Anon can’t keep up with them, that’s why Taki makes Anon practice separately from everyone else. It’s cruel, but Anon agrees and does it, because she wants to get better as well, and doesn’t want to run away anymore. But Anon needs time, which is why she still gets some notes wrong. But the fact that Anon could drag the whole band down, or how Raana is too flighty, is adding to Taki’s stress about how she can’t be happy about her own composition, so she lashes out at Anon. And Anon fights back about how Taki herself is part of the problem because she’s being cruel and only thinking about herself.

And that’s wrong since we know that Taki has the same concerns as Anon about her changing the sheets every practice. But because Taki isn’t letting any of them in, it’s instead only creating friction as she decides stuff without them and it looks like she doesn’t care about their opinions.

Taki taking on all the responsibility of the band’s next performance isn’t healthy for her, but no one is going to call her out on it. Anon is struggling with the guitar on her own, Tomori and Soyo don’t want to rock the boat after finally getting a second chance to play together, and Raana doesn’t realize what’s going on at all. And even when Tomori and Soyo offer to help Taki, she instead takes it in the worst way possible and thinks they don’t trust her. Which is why it helps that Anon’s there because she won’t let people misunderstand her and literally chases Taki down until she actually stops and listens to them.

But let’s be real, composition isn’t the only reason Taki wants to be like Saki. Taki wants to be like Saki because Saki could actually get a band together.

Taki’s not good at that at all. After Crychic’s break up, Taki gives Tomori some space because she thinks that’s what Tomori wants, even though we later see that they both want to be in a band together again. And then when she tries to pull a Saki and unilaterally introduce a new band member with Urimi, that whole thing crashes and burns because she didn’t consider how Anon or Tomori would feel about replacing Soyo so suddenly, and it just ends up hurting Anon and Tomori, leading to the final nail in the coffin that breaks up the band that she really wanted with Tomori.

And Taki really likes Tomori. She also really likes Tomori’s lyrics. Taki actually felt seen when she heard Tomori’s lyrics. But despite feeling like Tomori knows Taki, Taki doesn’t really get Tomori like Saki or Anon does.

Anon can read Tomori like a book as mentioned before, but Saki’s first interaction with Tomori was actually a misunderstanding. But despite that, Saki got something out of Tomori that even Tomori didn’t know about before, her lyrics. And Anon was the one who got Tomori to admit she wants to be in a band again, something Taki couldn’t do but desperately wanted. Actually Taki’s pretty jealous of how close Anon and Tomori are in general, remember how offended she got when she found out Anon and Tomori had nicknames for each other and Taki was still “Taki chan”? In fact, Anon and Taki’s first fight is about Anon asking Tomori to join her band.

Because as much as Taki wants to be the new Saki, she’s not her. Even though Taki has picked up Saki's composition role, the closest replacement to Saki in their current band is Anon. Anon’s the one who got the band together. Anon and Saki were both inspired by bands at their schools, Saki who likes Morfonica and Anon who only really likes Afterglow because everyone else at their school likes them. And even though Anon doesn’t play it, the piano prelude in the new Haruhikage was replaced with a guitar. Hell, even their basically first meetings with Tomori mirror each other, with Tomori offering both of them a bandage after they fall trying to talk to her.

But the thing is, Anon doesn’t want to replace anyone. She refused to join her classmates' band because she thought she would end up off to the side if she did. She was worried about this too when she saw that Raana’s guitar playing would overshadow hers. Anon wants to make her own mark, that’s why she was willing to ignore Tomori’s talent and be the singer of their band and why she insisted on putting her name in all of her suggestions for the band’s name. It’s also why she’s so hurt that Soyo never wanted her in the band in the first place. She gets hurt when Tomori doesn’t immediately fight to keep Anon in their band. Unlike Taki, Anon doesn’t want to replace Saki. If anything, she’d be envious of how Taki was one of the people in the band Soyo actually wanted.

Do you see what I mean about both of them having what the other lacks? Like Taki wasn’t able to get Soyo to return to the band, but Anon was able to. Taki’s a talented musician who Saki scouted and thought was talented enough to play with them, but let’s be real Saki wouldn’t even give Anon a second glance when it comes to playing guitar. And that jealousy is only made worse by the fact that they literally cannot get along.

Literally they are always on opposite sides whenever there’s an argument. When it comes to promising to be in a band together forever, when Soyo brings up how hurt Saki was hearing them play Harukikage, when it comes to costume, and even when they agree with each other they’re fighting! Taki’s easily misunderstood, she often says the wrong thing and messes up. Anon is impulsive and even though she can read the room she sometimes says the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. And if Anon’s issue is that she runs away when things get tough, then Taki’s issue is that she pushes people away until she’s left behind. Plus neither of them tolerate being disrespected, which is difficult since after their first meeting, where Anon thinks Taki falsely accused her and Taki thinks that Anon was harassing Tomori, neither of them really respect each other.

But despite that, they need each other, they won’t let each other go. Anon spams Taki’s phone when she’s skipping practice and waits almost 3 hours with Tomori outside of Taki’s school. Taki tries to get a new bassist to play with them after hearing that Soyo doesn’t want to play with Anon. And sure, part of it is because neither of them want to give up on the band they spent so long on, but they also like each other, even if they won’t admit it.

Taki gets really offended when she finds out that Soyo was only getting along with Anon to use her. And sure, most of it is because Soyo is turning her back on the band that Tomori worked so hard to get together, but later Taki presents the choice to Tomori: Soyo or Anon and Raana. And sure, Soyo already said she wasn’t going to be part of the band anymore after Saki rejected her, but Taki made her choice already and chose Anon. Partly because Anon was the only option, but also because Taki respects Anon.

Once they get back together, Taki apologizes for telling Anon what Soyo said, although in a roundabout fashion which is probably the best we’re going to get out of her. She thinks that it’s amazing that Anon could still play after hearing what Soyo said about her, but even so, Taki wasn’t surprised that Anon would still practice even after hearing that. I don’t think Taki expected that Soyo not wanting Anon would hurt her so much. Taki kind of thought that Anon was stronger than Taki, that Anon could have somehow withstood Saki’s mysterious departure from Crychic if she was there. But Taki overestimated Anon, and didn’t realize how hurt Anon would have been to hear that. Kind of like how Anon overestimated how much of the music they could leave to Taki in the first live. Maybe that’s why Taki doesn’t begrudge Anon for leaving like she does with Saki.

And it’s not just one way! Anon really likes Taki at this point too. She followed Taki’s spartan training regiment even when Taki was treating her unfairly because she trusted Taki’s music sense. She showed Taki the trick to dealing with Raana. Anon just really likes everyone in Mygo! She’s so relaxed around them. And while she usually lets it go when the conversation moves to a topic other than her, with Mygo she’s more than comfortable enough to be super needy and try to make everything about her. Plus Anon gives all her friends nicknames, like Soyorin or Tomorin. And sure, Anon was making fun of her by calling her Rikki, but technically Taki was the first one to get a nickname! I’m not delusional here!

Honestly they're both really similar, even if they won’t admit it. Even when their bands have broken up they still try to learn new skills and practice just in case they ever get back together. Both of them are too ashamed to join Tomori back on stage but are more than willing once someone “forces” them to. And the two of them even have a quick moment with Soyo where they tell her they don’t blame her for using the band. In fact, the two of them were also doing the same, Anon who used Soyo and the band to get popular, and Taki who used Soyo’s feelings for Crychic to get her in the band.

But the biggest way they’re alike is how they both want Tomori in their band.

They’re selfish. Anon wants Tomori because her band’s popularity will go up in her class if the student everyone is interested in joins her. Taki wants Tomori in her band because she only feels seen with Tomori’s lyrics.

But obviously it isn’t just that. When Taki sends Anon running away after pointing out how she’s not determined, it’s Tomori who convinces her to come back. When Anon is chasing Taki around her school after their fight in the practice room, it’s Tomori who gets Taki to stop.

Tomori is why the two put up with each other even though they can’t stand each other. Because they both have to be with Tomori, even if it means being with someone they can’t get along with since they’re just too similar. Although ironically enough, they both have what the other lacks so that just breeds jealousy, especially considering how insecure the two of them are.

Before she met Tomori, Anon always ran away. And even after meeting Tomori, Anon still runs away. But the thing is, Anon is disappointed in herself for this. She’s ashamed she can’t follow up on her promises. She runs away because she doesn’t want people to get too close and see past her façade, since she thinks all that they will see is a failure. That’s why she tries to avoid her old classmates, since she’s scared of what they’ll think. But Tomori is the one who sticks by her even at her lowest point, and offers to stay lost together. Even if Anon had shallow reasons for pursuing Tomori at first, they grow into something else, something more personal.

And Taki has her own reasons for sticking with Tomori. When Taki talks about Tomori’s lyrics, she says that it made her feel like even someone like her had a life worth living. And we’re not going to unpack all that here, since it probably has something to do with being in the shadow of her older sister and her loner status, but even if she doesn’t like herself all that much, Tomori is her salvation.

And because they toughed it out for Tomori, they actually come out better on the other side.

Despite Anon having the chance to run away from the band, she kept at it, even if it was hard. It was Taki who pointed it out, and Tomori got the chance to help Anon overcome it by promising to face her fear together.

And she did. Like this is a reach, don’t get me wrong, but I think Anon gets over what happened in England when she’s with Mygo. She’s the one to suggest having their band name be in English. And we can see in the background that she’s struggling with the English in front of them, but she doesn’t give up until she’s happy with what she came up with! Growth!

And speaking of growth, by episode 12, Taki’s actually relaxed enough to go with a new song that isn’t perfect yet. Episode 6 Taki could never. Honestly everything about episode 12 Taki is more relaxed than before. She wanted to do a live properly with Tomori and was super stressed about getting everything right, but now that Taki is with the rest of Mygo, she’s fine with leaving them to their own devices since she trusts them now and doesn’t feel the need to burden herself with everything again. She feels more exasperated in them than on edge if that makes sense?

It was Tomori who actually got them to get over their initial issues, but if it wasn’t for Anon or Taki bringing it to the surface, I don’t think it would have ever gotten resolved at all.

And don’t get me wrong, it was probably also because they got more comfortable with the rest of Mygo that they could finally overcome their own insecurities. Like sure they both are missing something the other has, but they’re missing a lot in general, and they’re really alike so they’re both missing it. Which is where the rest of Mygo comes in. They don’t have Tomori’s gentleness. They’re prone to overthinking which is a problem Raana doesn’t have. They get so caught up in their own ideas that they can’t see the bigger picture like Soyo can.

They're so fun! I wanna see so much more of them, Mygo Season 2 when?

[your-local-uwu-artist]

alirhgt finished day of the departed!

it was good! I enjoyed it :D I only wish it was longer. thankfully theres this silly little site called archive of our own that I'm sure can fix that for me lmao

my thoughts as per ususal!

... it accidentally got long sooo uhhh

-liked that we got master Yangs whole thing explained, as a character yang felt very simple but in a GOOD way. like in the 'he is an ancient spirit' kinda way. very classic ghost story!

-the scenes of everyone with the lanterns oh my god yeah that made me teary eyed

-Cole's VA did a GREAT job.

-further more I don't think I compliment the composers enough so um yeah score was fantastic as well!!!

-loved Ronin coming in all like 'uh yeah I'm here to save you right totally' there was a lot of great little jokes. Darreth being included was fantastic

-So this is a VERY weird comparison. but fuck it. there's this great juvinile fiction series called 'nathan abercrombie acidental zombie' by 'great' i mean I have a google doc of an anaylsis/essay on it. so yeah. GREAT. I could talk about it for quite a while actually. anyway. I willt ry to not go on too much of a tangent (i will still go off on tangents, of course, just small ones) but essentially the series is about Nathan who due to a sci-fi mix up: is dead. and it REALLY adresses what this means for him. one of the books main plot is about his body starting to decompose. in book one, the death is spreading slowly. theres this FANTASTIC description of him stomping his foot to feel pain, when his foot is the only place he has feeling left. in book one he's almost cured but sacrifices it to save his friend from a fire. in the final book he sacrifices his chance of being a cool super spy so that he can become alive again. what am I getting at here? okay well bassically obviously I read the series for the body horror. and you better believe I wrote aus in my head where he stayed a zombie. but like. gosh how do I explain this. so reading through this series it has a sorta depressing undertone- nathan is more or less a doomed character. like- sure he's made it this far. but he can only pretend to be alive for so long. and you get this impression throughout the series about just how numb nathan is. his nerves are dead and he can't feel pain (with the exception of when he reattaches a part that fell off, in which the nerves come alive for a brief moment of excruciating pain) he can't eat. he doesn't have a heart beat. he can't breath. he can't sleep. and its not just PHYSICHALLY Nathan comes off as VERY emotionally numb as well. like yes he struggles but it's like. like he's like 'huh yeah I guess I'm dead oh well, i did what i had to' but then theres parts where he'll get ANGRY about it and it's just, it's clear his circumstances prevent him from even fully emotionally processing said circumstances. it's CONFIRMED that he doesn't produce ADRENALINE. So It's not far fetched to assume that explains all of this CHILDS extremely watererd down emotions. anyway. the point is while it is super fun to imagine the au where Nathan stays a zombie: the only satisfactory ending was for him to become human again. there's simply too many extremely existential things that the story just isn't meant to adress. (shit like the fact that he's supposed to be on the cusp of puberty and his body won't age. also his body is starting to decompose faster.) anyway. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that this did feel like a satisfactory end to this character arc. because these are characters that DESERVE a happy ending. both of them are young people that are self sacrificial fucks that only ended up in their sitautions because of that fact. and I think the ending of this special just FELT the same way as the end of that series. leaves me with a lot of themes and ideas to explore that are for me, or rather the greater audience i suppose, to explore. like, the existential shit that having the characters stay dead would force to be adressed? thats for the FANFICTION to adress. which actually makes it better because now I have a fucking gold mine of ideas to explore. if canon explored them for me then there's nothing left for the fanfics to explore!

anyway another coparison would be the ending of the legend of zelda four swords manga, when Link becomes one again. actually thats a VERY good comparison. Link had to become whole again. and now I get to imagine not only the au where he doesn't. but I also get to imagine the ramifications of this event

-anyway! moving on

-i really like that Cole got a scar from it. great way to make sure this isn't just some forgotten throw away event

-I really liked the ending actually, made me feel warm inside

-I liked the Morro redemption. cause well: Morro didn't have a score to settle, his story already concluded. he's cool now

-I really appreciate how classic ghost story Yang's whole thing was.

anyway: the real main take away is that Ima be doing this thing with Cole from now on.

at this rate I think Kai and Nya are the only main characters currently safe from my scrunkle-fication wrath. no way it will stay that way for long tho. Kai has gotten dangerously close into scrunkle-fication territory already. it's really only a matter of time

I made this chart to illustrate my point

at this rate I estimate no un-scrunkled mains will remain by season 8 (and there is a risk of acquiring scrunkle-sides)

I think Kai will probably beat Nya (there are now in a sibling race to who gets scrunkle-ified first or smth)

[chellyfishing]

Never meant to make a post like this but while in the shower I accidentally wrote an essay in my head about why I didn’t like Scott Pilgrim (2010) so might as well be a bit of a cunt about it for minute

Back when this movie first came out, the concept made me kind of uncomfortable, so I didn’t bother trying to seek it out, not then nor in the many years since. Make no mistake, though, when it came up as a movie night movie, I actually wanted to like it. So many people I know have positive feelings about it, so I thought, surely! Surely there is something here to love. Or at least like. Plus it’s Edgar Wright, and Hot Fuzz is one of the most perfect films ever made.

Nope! This film is not good and I did not like it! Let me explain why! There are two axes on which this film failed and I’m going to detail both.

Scott is a terrible protagonist. I kind of don’t really care that his friends occasionally make fun of him or call him a loser when he never changes. Protagonists are allowed to be shitty people, but this is not making that concept work. He just sucks man, and the whole thing revolves around him being cool because he has the best jumps or whatever.

Ramona is barely a character. Why does she like Scott? Why does she want to be with him? I have no idea! I don’t know anything about her except she’s played by a very beautiful actress I would also want to date! She has basically no agency. She’s just getting passed around like a football depending on who’s winning the game at the time or whatever. (Also, the idea that this woman is reduced to her sexual—or not even—history being analyzed and interrogated in service of men is just. Still very uncomfortable to me on the face of it.)

Really, none of the characters feel like characters, which again, is potentially fine, because you can easily have a story where the characters are a bit flat because it’s really about moving your little dolls around in service of a plot. But the problem is that the plot IS the characters! It’s about this guy and this relationship and I do not care about either!

And that brings me to the other axis, which I think is where this all comes from: this is a bad story for a film adaptation. People need to realize that not all media are created equal and sometimes things don’t need to be films. There are too many characters, too many things happening here, which leads to everything being shaved down into little nubs we go through one after the next and then it ends. It’s too much to cram into a couple of hours.

Anyway, I’ll anchor this by saying the good things: the actors are doing their best. Whatever character comes across is mostly through acting choices. It looks good. Edgar Wright is obviously a good director. And because of this film, more people know about Metric. “Black Sheep” is in fact an S tier song of theirs, tho no offense to Brie Larson, the Emily Haines version is superior.

[metaphysicpareidolic]

OPINION TIME because i need to know i'm not the only one who feels this way:

i'm gonna be perfectly honest and many of you might hate me for this but. i. did not like good omens season 2. so if you don't want to read, i'll just write my essay under the break dlsjfdh

OKAY.

i mean i understand why people like it, the two (mostly) male-presenting characters that everyone has been smashing together like barbie dolls for decades finally get a canon kiss, great. yeah, as a trans gay guy, i can't deny that i love seeing any kind of queer representation, especially from such a popular show, from such an influential author. but this? did not. feel good to watch. and it's not just because of the soul-destroying cliffhanger ending.

i lived and breathed good omens when the show first came out, it was one of the most intense hyperfixations of my life, i was completely obsessed with it and i recommended it to everyone i knew, both the show and the book. it's the entire reason i got tumblr in the first place and the first fandom i actually participated in. quite a good portion of my waking thoughts were consumed by the ineffable husbands and all the other characters. i was a young teenager at the time and this story shaped my view of the world for over a year, and i will always love it. but even then, i hoped to god (ha) that they wouldn't make a second season. but inevitably, they did.

i went into the first episode hoping i was wrong, and i finished it just feeling disappointed. i kept watching and got through the whole thing, hoping it would get better as the season went on, but it just got worse and worse. granted, i did enjoy the little historical throwbacks (i think the entire second season should have just been aziraphale and crowley through the centuries with michael and david improvising the whole thing like that one post) but the actual plot was bland, the characters had lost all their depth, and on top of that the budget was obviously cut by a lot so the rich visuals that were so captivating in the first season were gone, as well. that and issues with sound, which probably were more noticeable cause i was wearing headphones, but this is one of the most popular and profitable shows on a leading streaming service owned by one of the biggest fucking companies in the world. shouldn't they be putting money into it?

i'm not upset that beelzebub was recast. i'm upset that their entire character and personality was forgotten in favour of a romantic side plot, which exists, why? again?? to somehow emphasize a point already made by the other rushed romantic side plot?? that has barely anything to do with the actual story other than being accidentally dragged into it by aziraphale, whose entire character development from the first season has been entirely pushed aside because we need a third season, because we want more money! hehe they are kissing, gay people kissing ooh look, give us your money and attention so you can see them kiss consensually this time! i could continue but i will spare you the entirety of my spiel because i could write. PAGES. about how much this season hurt my soul not because Oh No They Broke Up but because i believed in this world and i believed in these characters and i don't like seeing them like this, wrung out and milked for cash and fanservice. everything that made the first season good is dampened by the knowledge that i now have to consider this fucking thing canon, that this is what the story turns into.

neil gaiman i love you but for the love of god get off of tumblr. he just wrote a fucking fanfiction of his and terry pratchett's work because he knew he would get money from it. and we are eating it up, because we love the story, we love the characters, and we love the author and we always want more. if you want more, draw fanart. write fanfiction. create your own version of a story. please, don't give your money to a company just because it's Officially Legit Canon when you could create a much better, more compelling, and more satisfying ending for yourself, for free. i lied earlier, i don't understand the appeal of this season. i don't understand why people like it. it feels fake. it feels wrong. it feels like an entirely different universe than the first season, and the book, and that wouldn't necessarily even be a bad thing if it was at least done with some level of concern for quality and consistency.

i know not everyone wants to be critical of their favourite show and would prefer to just enjoy it for what it is. i understand that, at least. i don't want to ruin anyone's fun. if you enjoyed this season, good. i'm glad you did and i love seeing all the fanart and fanfictions happening everywhere. i just really wanted to talk about this and maybe spark a little discussion if anyone's interested. anyways if you read all of this, thank you.

tl;dr: i hate capitalism, i hate streaming services

[hardfeeling505]

All about her

This story is about my experience became friend with someone i accidentally met on random tiktok live and i asking her to be FRIEND MOOTS

her nickname idk, i just call her M, she is the oldest child, from what i see she is a very good big sis to her younger sis(her sister is so lucky to have u M).height 5'4 feet in cm its like 162.56 (she told me how else i know😐)born on September something 2005. I thought i'm going to jail man😐 but i born on 2001 so it okay, thanks God for that✊ (im a little bit cooked tbh i'm on a thin ice right back there😔) she a Filipino Canadian Girl, raised in Alberta , Edmonton , Canada. It take about 24hr 45 min flight from my place. One day i hope for to meeting her in person😤,even though i know its not gonna happen(just me being delulu).

Actually, i want to witness the flower bloom in spring with my own eyes + Also meeting my buddy. She told me her province is known for Grand Prairie’s and stuff, it's like a full green land and have so many lake ,as i recall there also a moutain (6 hours ride from her home) bcs she told me that there is so many wild flower will bloom when it spring season. I bet the view is so beautiful, you know nature and beautiful, a word that can't be separated, and yes always beautiful + watching with her? Bro!! i gotta prepare insulin injection bcs i might got sick from all those sweet moment with her

(🗣️📢🔥🔥🔥this is not a pickup line).

Other thing about her.She is one of the lactose intolerant victim , can't drink or eat anything contain dairy stuff ,only almond milk. She told me she can't eat corndog ,poor her.😭 Bro!! i eat corndog like i cant even count how much i eat.When she say that , i wish i can give her a hug but must keep it halal (yes i'm a muslim). Furthermore, i like like like it when she go suddenly share random fact about her ,one example of it "i hate energy drink" and "im just got choke from reading your comment bro" , she so random Bro that is one of her charm and i loving it (as a buddy ofc)

And one moment, my dumbass go tell her to try drink banana milk, After re-read my chat i go Oof what have i done😐. I genuinely want to kick myself for that I'm so sorry M forgive me please i think i half asleep at that moment not thinking straight. 🙏 (im doom can't think of any better excuses Help😔)

Also the so CUTE impression of her i can't hold myself to tease her😭(im cooked). SO STRONG INFJ VIBE FR. There is one morning we chatting about breakfast , she say she making a toast bread, I ask her "M you eating the bread with what? peanut butter?" and she answer "i eat it with banana and something" , then i say "i like banana too" for real i like banana💯. Then, i saw my opportunity to tease her and i took it😭, i start with asking her "u know what i like too?" ,she reply "what?" , it might seem crazy what gonna say, i with my full consciousness say " i like strawberry jam, strawbewwy jam is so✨✨" , and she reply with "Oooh" then "okay". I feel like a bad guy at that moment but man she so cute i cant resist it I am so sorry M forgive me🙏😔. (i want to do it again frfr)

She going into Nursing then paramedics like ambulance people, praying for her to achieve her dream, Amin .Please God give her All the strength she need bcs im so far away from her🤲.(Proud for her Bro as buddy ofc).She enjoy work out so much (i like it too💯), consider it her hobby for now.She like to say LOL a lot i know everyone does but her LOL is different for me (dont attack me).

One more thing i like about her is her habits to explain to me about something until i truly understand, her effort Bro!!. (she like to express her feeling by put it all in her writing). I swear i will like and always read everything she wrote man like i feel like my eyes and brain (my whole life existance) is created by god to read her essay man, to listen to her. I literally crying right now while writing this. thank god i not writing this on paper man.She so precious to me Bro!!! like very unreal to me and i dont deserve to get to know her, to good to be true.

(Pls read this one paragraph below while listen to Everygreen by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners trust me)

one moment , i talk to her about snow (we like to talk about random stuff) anyways it go like this i ask " M, is it spring there?" she answer "it still winter season " , after that i told her "i like winter but i like to see flower bloom in spring more" , and she start telling me all of her life experience living in 4 season, after that we caught in deep talk moment it for like forever for me (it feel long for me) It so beautiful man talking to her, its healing me. Then the sentence hit me.I dont want to lose her as a buddy ofc(she already on a somewhat relationship).

- her Twice bias is dahyun meanwhile mine is sana

- her Aespa bias is karina(same as me)

- her Nmixx bias is lily(same twice) Do you see there is a sign here.

Finally we are here thank for staying with me on this journey,The Main Topic is her MBTI😤

A Beautiful yet So Soft INFJ personality ,i have so much interest in this mbti man,you know this type of mbti is so rare. I am shooketh yes my jaw drop ahh so cringe but it is frfr when she told me her mbti i am so shock Lol, i never found this type before all of my friend male/ female is always started with E and end with J or some case started with I and end with P, what i want to say is it so weird to me this type of MBTI INFJ. It so UNIQUE thats the word .Don't want to be so hype talking to her so i tried to cover with "oh idk u were an I" meanwhile me talking to myself ofc she an I you dummy she like nature and stuff also she admire cat ☝️😃 Also it her fav animal. (i bet you 100 dollar she will pat every cat she bypass)

About her song taste is interesting .Quite similar to me or just the same genre?🤔 As expected from her MBTI type. Her fav song is My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski (this song is PERFECT just like her)😤 *i want to cry again bro. She has 39K+ minutes streaming on spotify for this song ALONE (she told me). JUST FOR 39k MINUTES ??? THE SONG IS IN YOUR BLOOD GIRL FRFR . It Mother Mitski song never ever doubted her song✊). One statement from M. "I actually have 209k minutes of listening to music on Spotify😌"

I want to ask her ig so bad Bro!!! or anything that can i use to reach/contact her others from tiktok. i can't use my sticker that the main reason, all my hilarious meme collection relatable go to waste and also i'm a coward.

Something i truly get hurt from is the fact she have anxiety/panic attack(she frequently got stomachache).I really want to know how to pleasant or calming her, tbh i try search and read many article about anxiety, unfortunately ,i don't find any effective ways just some drinking water and stuff like that😔. Even though i suffer from same thing but i too don't know any tips.Maybe try go to therapy session like me once a week?(its not working for me my therapist just want my money i know it not that right Mr Lim? you scammer he is chinese).Article nowadays is unhelpful.

I think i just like her personality or am i? or im just too easy to catching feeling (maybe its true). It just a phase i guess i will get over it😌

Sorry i forgot to put her Newjeans bias(her ultimate Gir Group). Her bias is Kang Kaerin😸 , i agree with her Kang Haerin is so cute but She more cuter to me ahh i wish i could tell her this, what a coward i am. Ofc bcs they share the same Mbti INFJ (she like her so much, i bet her photo album of Kang Haerin is more than 500+ pic). Her bias wrecker is Danielle🐶(my bias), YES if you notice there is pattern here.If you a Bunnies, DaeRin Friendship you will get it what i mean. Also i make a Favorite Collection on my tiktok profile for her, I know i know, it nothing but i should do something for her. The Title "For Her , yep U" . I remember creating it 3 day after meet her, and ofc as buddy nothing personal. My tiktok name is Newjeans Haerin (cactus name)🥕 on her Jean'Zine solo vlog.

Btw I'm an INFP My MBTI ,funny right?

About my MBTI there is story too🤟.

Before the covid, i take the MBTI test between 2018-2019 i'm still in college back then and My first MBTI test result is ENFP. Fyi, i'm quite not shy person. Main reason, 2nd child curse?. i believe this is so true My family always ignore me frfr😭 but i know deep down of their heart they still care or maybe bcs“ i'm annoying "ahh kinda kid back then, I like hugging them, its that wrong?😃 that not a crime and i am still kid. I think clingy is the word😌🤟.Don't blame me, since birth i'm like this (im cooked)

After Covid, between 2023 year i retake the test the reason is i notice that my social skill is gone ,maybe bcs im live alone. Literally, It was like i scare to talk , i'm worry that someone will judge me when i approach them. I hate anxiety bro!! My condition is so bad at some point i can't breath normally , it like my chest is so full, i took various antistress pill(i stop taking them now) this entire pain after years not talking much to someone, only my cat Lol, i love my cat he so cute like frfr😭 his name is kuromi. he a black cat with yellow eye + he like hugging me,he is the only creature that like back when i hug😭 the other half of me. About friend i have friends so many friends but i don't usually contact them by phone or online its just me, i prefer go meet them , stop by for a drink like that , Face to face Obviously before covid what harm can happen to you by doing outdoor activity?get hit by car? actually that is harmful.Super harmful actually, really what the dangerous thing could happen to you? got sick from fever? Back then even social anxiety scare to me😔. Yeah i know what u thinking My friend when don't like the idea i want to hug them too , that not a new things to me i'm just joking 😔(im not).Frfr i have so many friends. It so easy to make friends Bro!! like just go talking to someone new i don't see any problem at all . It just 2 human talking like .

you=>🧍🏻talking🧍🏻<=me

Agree with me Dangerous Virus is just a myth before covid-19 exist, its like a movie title Bro so dumb. Just a small dumb virus ruining my life.

Continue my story about mbti test , i retake it, the result come out, and i got the INFP BRO!!☹️ as expected ,yeah the E is gone. Untill now i still not retake the test but im 💯 sure the E is back bcs starting this year at my workplace i slowly not slowly tbh Lol, easily can approach people now bro like frfr, i think i enjoy talking to people back , i like listen to them. i know what u think the hugging thing i can control it now.Bro i'm a grownass man now😭 (i still like hugging but not other gender keep stay halal). Maybe i should consider retake the test again this year🤔.Overall For who reading this now.Thank You Very Much For spend your time reading my yapping essay about someone who already i lost contact with. My conclusion is, Heals Really Take Time FRFR,you just has to trust the process.

#MBTI#Healing#infj#enfp#infp#Mitski#yapping#shortstory#fantasy#humor#frfr#halal#anxiety#covid#imcooked#haerin#danielle#newjeans#nmixx#lily#aespa#karina#twice#dahyun#sana#spotify#��#feeling#tiktok#tiktoklive#canada#alberta#edmonton

side note : i type all this while listen to her fav song on loop, I'm not good at writing essay unlike her, sorry for all grammatical error or miss place, word conjunction. Thanks all for the memory M. Hope ur doing Great Now.

[omnium-gatherums]

Genuine question out of curiosity and I totally understand if you aren't comfortable answering it, but I was just wondering what led you to get assessed for DID?

I don't want to be nosy or rude or anything! I just see you mention a lot of things around feeling like you're basically all "you" rather than seeing one another as separate parts and stuff like that, and got curious because it seems like that's a presentation that would be less likely to get easily noticed by a therapist and/or prompt the person to seek an assessment.

I don't mind answering :P

So context for my life, brief CSA mention, when I was 14-years-old, I told my family about the fact that my brother was sexually abusing me, and that led me to moving in with my mom all through high school.

I'm pretty sure I just, like. Forgot, I guess, how much worse my dad is over my mom, but I ended up moving back in with my dad after graduating when I was 18.

From 18-20/21, I started realizing many things about myself; that I'm autistic, that I probably have ADHD, and that I have experienced a lot of abuse and trauma for essentially my whole life.

I have a friend who I knew had DID (I'm still friends with him, you know who you are JMSKDKND) and we have technically been friends since I was like 17 maybe, but we never talked much and weren't that close. But I knew she had DID and I don't know for sure if these were actually amnesia due to alters or not, but I woke up on different occasions to see that my phone was left open on random things. I don't mean "woke up" as in I thought I just went unconscious, I mean that I LITERALLY just. Fell asleep at nighttime and when I woke up the next morning, random stuff was left open on my phone. I didn't experience it as "passing out and then waking up" or anything.

One time it was just open on an college essay I wrote, another time it was left open on a.. Random Reddit news story about legalizing weed or some shit? I genuinely don't know if those incidences were from alters fronting while I thought I was asleep or what. It's just weird because I can't imagine any alters just.. Fronting and reading our college essay and a random Reddit news story?? I have no idea. But my phone requires a pass code to unlock, so it couldn't have just been me somehow accidentally opened up random apps in my sleep.

And because of my friend, and because I knew that DID was caused by childhood trauma, I also found out (I don't know where or how, this wasn't something I knew off the bat) that DID isn't all that rare or anything, so because of my realizations and knowing my friend with DID, I ended up wondering if I could have DID.

I didn't take it all that seriously, I was convinced that it was too much of a "jump" to question DID, that it was obvious I didn't have it and it was ridiculous and a joke that I ever questioned it. And didn't tell anyone, but eventually did of course and then years upon years of researching, questioning, excruciating denial, not understanding how alters and switching works, so on and so forth, I finally got diagnosed in Nov. 2022.

I think that, had I not known about my friend with DID, I still would have eventually started to question DID because I think I would've come across DID discussions SOMEWHERE on Tumblr and then started questioning further. I just probably would've found out much, much later.

And if I didn't use Tumblr, I probably would've just never even questioned or known or even got diagnosed at all. Just because I feel like system spaces are pretty big in the spaces that I also frequent on Tumblr, and I don't use other social media platforms, but I can't imagine systems spring up as often on those, even TikTok. But then again, I don't know lol.

There are probably other details that I've forgotten for sure lol. If you wanna ask more specific questions, I don't mind answering :P

[ptergwen]

I think your requests are open (I didn’t see anything that said otherwise but I suck at this app lol) but I was wondering if you could write a peter x reader (likely college-age) where they have an academic rivalry and just tease each other a lot and lots of fluff and shit? It can be an established relationship or like a friends/rivals to lovers or really whatever you want. Sorry if this is super specific! Anyways, I love your writing, it always cheers me up :)

friends close, enemies closer

ik this is cherry BUT i had to

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and hints of suggestiveness

a/n: thank you my love ! i’m actually obsessed with this concept so i’m super super happy with how it came out n i hope you are too :,)

-

you wipe sweat from your upper lip, peeking at peter’s laptop screen. he’s more than halfway through the paper your english professor tasked your class to write. he looks to have not a worry in the world as he continues to type away. growling at this, you dive right back into work.

you’ve been at each other’s throats since the beginning of classes when you both wanted the same spot. first row, middle seat. peter had officially claimed it in the end. you’d flopped down next to him and his irritating smirk.

the dude is smart, you’ll give him that. his knowledge of literature is almost as impressive as yours. almost. he raises his hand any chance he gets, effectively stealing your thunder if you dare to participate.

peter is also a bit of a people pleaser. he’ll chat up your professor at office hours, fascinate her with his hot takes on things or stupid anecdotes. you often get so annoyed that you bail before you even attempt to woo her yourself. the sight of you storming off is something peter thoroughly enjoys.

bottom line is, golden boy peter parker never loses. underneath the sweet, innocent persona he hides behind is a ruthless fighter. you’re determined to end his winning streak, thus sparking your ongoing competition to be better than the other in every way possible.

this time, your goal is to meet your ten page paper requirements the fastest. they aren’t due for weeks, but you and peter are banging them out in one sitting.

you’re hauled up in the campus library, sat side by side despite your wishes for peter to get his own table. he’d insisted on sharing with you. why, you haven’t a clue. you can’t stand him, and he isn’t the fondest of you either.

that’s what you tell yourselves, at least.

“progress report?” peter requests from you. “page three. you?” you grunt back. he props his feet up on the table, arms flexed behind his head. “finishing up page seven. you already knew that, though... creeper.”

god, you can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

you glance over at peter, doing your best to ignore how his biceps bulge under his hoodie. nerdy little parker is ripped.

“worry about yours, i’ll worry about mine. thanks.” you reread the sentence you wrote prior to peter’s chiseled body distracting you. “oh, the irony,” he sighs and nudges the edge of your laptop with his sneaker. scowling, you shift the screen away from him.

about a minute of silence goes by until it’s unfortunately filled by peter. he stretches his arms out, finally removing his dirty shoes from the table.

“i’m gonna take five. maybe, you could use it as an opportunity to catch up to me,” peter cockily suggests. “spare me your charity, peter. i’m doing just fine without it,” you retort, letting out a scoff. peter raises his hands in defense. “if you say so, princess.”

here you were, naively thinking peter couldn’t become any more insufferable than he already is.

you slam your laptop shut and jab a finger at his chest. “jesus christ, how many times do i have to ask you not to call me that?” a patronizing pout adorns peter’s lips. “aw, i love it when you get all bossy on me. so cute.”

he grabs your hand still on his chest, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. you’re quick to wipe it off on his hoodie. nevertheless, there’s an undeniable heat rushing to your cheeks.

“well, i hate it when you call me princess,” you deadpan. peter tilts his head to the side. “do you?”

of course not. deep down, you live for the fuzzy feeling you get whenever the nickname slips from his tongue. oh, his tongue and the things it can do. poking out as he focuses hard on a question, running across his pink lips…

you have to reel it in. this is peter parker you’re fantasizing about, your mortal enemy.

“yes. i hate it, and i hate you,” you unsuccessfully convince the both of you. “no, you don’t,” peter rasps, darkened eyes scanning over your features. his stare is intense and intimidating. he grasps your chin between his thumb and index finger, slowly leaning in closer.

he’s not going to stop until you make him. you don’t want to, but you will.

you shove his shoulder, dragging your laptop towards you again. “on second thought, i could use that catch up. you’re not gonna throw me off my game, parker.”

your rejection seems to disappoint peter. his expression matches that of a kicked puppy, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

“we’ll see,” he murmurs and swings a leg over his chair. “alright, i’m gonna run to the caf. you want anything?”

he’s offering to buy you food now? what’s his angle here?

“i’d say yes, but i’m afraid you’ll poison it somehow,” you half joke. peter hops to his feet. “don’t give me any ideas,” he warns, snatching his backpack off the floor. “i’ll just surprise you.”

although you’re curious what his mystery snack choice for you would be, you can’t accept. you’d be going against your entire dynamic.

would that be so terrible?

absolutely.

you wave him off towards the double doors. “i’m good, peter. really. i’m not that hungry, anyway.” shaking his head, peter throws a backpack strap onto one shoulder. “y/n, your stomach’s been grumbling for the last hour. you gotta eat.”

he’s not wrong. you’re starving, but you’ve been too preoccupied by your essay to break for dinner.

“fine, surprise me,” you concede. peter flashes you a smile, this one void of its usual condescendence. “i’ll be back. try not to miss me too much,” he calls as he walks backwards to the library doors. “i won’t. shoo already,” you dismiss him, a laugh falling from your lips.

peter winks at you, then disappears into the night. you’re left with a serious case of butterflies and a certain freckle faced know-it-all on your mind.

that’s a problem.

you’ve managed to get another page done when peter reappears. he sits back down and slides a bag across the table, you closing your laptop. you dig into it to figure out what he picked for you. you’re not too pleased with his selection, however.

“oh, yummy. vomit in a cup,” you announce as you hold a green smoothie in your hand. peter reaches over and pats your thigh. “it’s good for you. drink up, princess.” you slap him away. “hard pass. i’d rather you have gotten me nothing.”

narrowing his eyes, peter pulls two cookies wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. “i’m guessing you don’t want these either? more for me, then.”

they’re chocolate chip and m&m, your favorite in the cafeteria. they just came out of the oven, so they’re still warm.

“how… how did you know i…” you trail off, peter setting the cookies in front of you. he offers you a lopsided grin. “i know a lot about you, believe it or not. i pay attention.” you surprise yourself by returning his smile. “thank you, peter. how much do i owe you?”

“nah, it’s on me,” peter assures you. “enjoy.” pushing aside your unappealing drink, you seize the cookies instead. “you have to eat, too. let me at least split these with you.” there’s a beat before peter nods. “fair enough.”

that results in you two munching on your cookies while pretending to write your papers. you’re sneaking glances at each other whenever the other isn’t looking, in reality.

once it’s about time for the library to close, you’re on the verge of passing out. peter is concluding his essay until he hears a thump from your side of the table.

he finds you with your cheek smushed against your keyboard and hitting random letters, snores escaping you.

chuckling to himself, peter places a hand on your shoulder. “hey, y/n?” he speaks in a hushed tone. you awake with a gasp, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth. “easy there, princess. it’s only me.” he rubs circles on your back, and it’s oddly comforting.

“keep doing that,” you purr, momentarily forgetting how much you’re supposed to despise peter. he lets his fingers dance across the exposed skin of your lower back. “we should probably head out. it’s kinda late,” peter decides.

you sit up, bones aching and eyes forced open. “not yet. have to beat you first.” you start to delete the gibberish you accidentally typed. peter cups your cheek to turn your head towards him, your movements halting. “this one’s a tie. you did good, y/n/n,” he coos. “finish the rest another day.”

“why’re you being so nice to me?” you nearly whisper. peter uses his thumb to swipe the drool from your lips. “‘cuz i care about you. i might not show it, but i do,” he admits with the hint of a smile. “besides, i need you… for the, uh, the healthy competition.”

laughing softly, you twist his hoodie strings around your fingers and tug. “your intentions are pure as always. sure that’s all you need me for?” peter’s gaze darts to your lips, then your eyes. “we’ll see,” he repeats.

rivalry be damned.

“mm. i care about you too, parker. thanks again for tonight,” you hum. a blush coats peter’s cheeks, even in the dim library lighting. his sweet and innocent side might truly exist. “no problem.” peter links your pinkie with his, the gesture giving you that fuzzy feeling. “i’ll walk you back to your dorm?”

you lean over and kiss his pinkie intertwined in yours.

“lead the way.”

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Together Again’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 3)

Airdate: May 20, 2021

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, Christina Catucci, Jesse Moynihan, Adam Muto

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Maya Petersen, Serena Wu

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Across Adventure Time’s ten season run, the show explored a bevy of “mature” themes and story ideas—topics, like love, sexuality, depression, and grieving. The show also touched upon death, but the emphasis was usually placed on the emotional toll of a loved one dying, not really what happens when you die. We knew there were Dead Worlds and Death. We knew that there was reincarnation. But how does it all fit together? What does it mean? How does it work?

With “Together Again,” we finally have many of the answers.

This special opens with a marvelous fake-out episode simply called “Finn & Jake,” that sees the two steal a magical cartoon of 50-flavor ice cream before rescuing Turtle Princess and LSP from the clutches of the villainous Ice King. This is all deliberately anachronistic and over the top. Ice King is back to his season one ways, Finn has both arms, and he is still wielding his golden sword that he lost in season two’s “The Real You.” There’s lolrandom dialogue and silly monsters; it’s like a parody of seasons 1-2. But then, this adventure starts to get all wonky, and in time Finn realizes that he is in a some sort of trance or illusion: one that ends with Jake being buried in the ground. Suddenly, Finn awakens from his reverie. He’s an old man. And he’s dead. We’re then presented with a new title card that lets us know the episode is actually called “Finn & Jake Are Dead.”

Holy Glob! They actually went there.

Turns out Jake died years before Finn, so naturally Finn is super excited to see his best bud. But something’s wrong—he cannot find Jake!! They planned to spend eternity together. But all that Finn can find is his very own psychopomp, Mr. Fox (voiced by Tom Herpich, whose purposefully stilted line readings are the epitome of delightful). Finn rightfully assumes that Jake is in a different Dead World, and so, being the ball of spunk and energy that he is, he demands to meet with Death, only to discover that there’s a New Death in town (voiced by Chris Fleming). The episode eventually explains that New Death was the son of Death and Life, and after New Death killed his father, he became the sovereign of the afterlife. New Death hates his job and decides to just blow up all the Dead Worlds so he doesn’t have to deal with it all. (I won’t get too much into the details here, because there would be a lot of story to parse out.)

Finn soon learns that Jake has reached nirvana in the 50th Dead World, where there is nothing but peace and serenity. Finn nevertheless tracks down Jake, pulls him from paradise, but in doing so, accidentally lets New Death in, who promptly obliterates Elysium, sending all the enlightened souls—including those from different levels of the afterlife—to the 1st Dead World. This gronks up the afterlife, temporarily halting the reincarnation process.

Well, Finn and Jake are rightfully ticked, and so they haunt the material plane looking for Princess Bubblegum. She’s not home (more on that later), but Peppermint Butler is! After Ghost Finn and Ghost Jake explain the situation, Peppermint Butler tells them what to do: They need to find Life and explain the situation. The duo manage just that, and Life is rightfully angry that her kid has stopped the transmigration of souls. After Life gives Finn a McGuffin sword that can hurt Death, Finn and Jake return to his abode. A brawl ensues wherein we learn that New Death has been possessed… by none other than that spirit of the Lich.

That’s right, it’s the Lich! He’s back, and boy is he evil.

The Lich explains that by possessing Death, he can destroy the afterlife, thereby destroying a key aspect of reality. Naturally, Finn and Jake are not cool with this, and they engage in combat. After Mr. Fox grabs the McGuffin sword and uses it to annihilate the Lich and New Death, he is proclaimed the New New Death and sets everything right. Finn is slated to be reincarnated, and Jake is slated to return to the 50th Dead World where he and Finn will one day be reunited. As Finn is pulled into the wheel of souls, Jake suddenly decides to go back with Finn, too, “Just for fun.” The episode ends with a card letting us know that the episode is neither called “Finn & Jake” nor “Finn & Jake Are Dead.” Instead, it is “Finn and Jake Are Together Again.”

As they say, “And there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

If you were to tell me several years ago that the last episode to star Finn and Jake would revolve around them dying, I think I would’ve been upset. Not simply sad, but rather frustrated because “they all died” can feel like a cheap ending. But with “Together Again,” it all works. And a large reason that it works is because the show goes all in with their ideas. Finn and Jake don’t magically leap back into their old life (no, no, they very much do bite the dust). Instead, the special emphasizes the cyclical nature of life through the transmigration of souls. The episode ends with a beautiful scene of Finn and Jake, bound together as soul-brothers, being reborn into a new, mysterious (possibly Ooo 1000+?) world. It’s both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing; it doesn’t feel off the way over finales might. This is right. This is the way life works. “Round and round as nature goes,” and all that jazz.

I loved the series explanation of how death works. It seems that souls land in a specific Dead World, where they ‘marinate’ for a bit, presumably being rewarded or punished based on their life in our meat reality. After a time, they are then reborn. This process repeats, with each soul reaching higher and higher levels of enlightenment until they hit nirvana, which is the 50th Dead World. So in a sense, Adventure Time has a roughly Buddhist cosmology with a dash of Greco-Roman mythos thrown in for flavor. (As to what happens after a soul stays in the 50th Dead World for a long period is anyone’s guess, but I’d speculate that when all the souls in the multiverse have been purified and land in the 50th Dead World, they will all collapse into one another and form one perfect Monad. Perhaps this is the sphere of perfection that the beings who merged into Matthew thought they were connecting to? Who knows! It’s anyone’s guess!) I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Death, Prismo, Life, etc.’s boss was, but perhaps that’s a mystery better left up to the imagination!

One minor thing that I loved about this special was the number of characters who made cameos as well as all the callbacks that were made to previous episodes. Regarding the former: Finn and Jake’s canine family show up (including the oft-forgotten Jermaine!), as do Tree Trunks and her myriad husbands. Tiffany plays a major role in all these shenanigans as a “death cop” of all things. There is a delightful rogues gallery stuck in the 1st Dead World (including, among others, Maja, Sharon from “The Gut Grinder,” and Wyatt). In the 50th we find Ghost Princess and Clarence happily at peace next to Booshy, the weird spirit mentioned in the Pen Ward classic “High Strangeness.” As far as callbacks go, perhaps my favorite is the clap (from “James Baxter the Horse”) that Jake taught to Finn in case they ever do get separated in the afterlife. And of course, there are myriad references made to “Death in Bloom,” the episode that planted the seed for what this would grow into.

Going into the special suspecting that it would involve Death, I was curious how they were going to handle Miguel Ferrer’s character. (In case a reader is not aware, Ferrer played Death in episodes like “Death in Bloom” and “Betty,” but he sadly passed away a few years ago). The producers’ choice to feature him in a non-speaking cameo—despite playing a relatively significant role in the story—was wise; I’m not sure if I can articulate the exact reasons, but something about his role felt appropriate and not gross, as some post-mortem memorials can be. Speaking of which, the wonderful, lovely Polly Lou Livingston was featured for the last time in this episode as Tree Trunks, happily in heaven with her literal harem of husbands. It was funny, it really was, and I’m sure that Polly Lou would’ve gotten a kick out of seeing it on screen. (Also, this is a pro-Tree Trunks safe space. Any Tree Trunks haters will be chucked into the 1st Dead World with Wyatt.)

The biggest mystery in this whole thing, for me at least, is the question of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Several years ago, I wrote an essay about what could’ve happened to them in the Ooo 1000+ universe. I speculated that they peaced out and left Ooo behind. In this special, neither Bubblegum nor Marceline are to be found in the Candy Kingdom—Peppermint Butler seems to be the one in charge, given that he is now wearing Bubblegum’s crown. Likewise, the duo aren’t anywhere in the Dead Worlds either. Maybe the two of them skipped town and got a duplex in the Nightosphere? Who knows… I just want my favorite gals to be OK!

All things considered, “Together Again” was a marvel: An episode that managed to feel like a series finale even more than “Come Along with Me” already did without taking away from the series itself. An episode that managed to make the idea of dying funny. An episode that brought back the Lich in a way that wasn’t forced. An episode that made Mr. Fox the New New Death. An episode that gave us a beautiful ending to Finn and Jake’s story… as well as the beautiful beginning to a new one. I said it on Twitter, and I’ll say it again here: “Together Again” was the end of a sentence in a book with infinite pages. Truly, the fun will never end.

Mushroom War evidence: Everything takes place in the Dead Worlds, so not really. Perhaps a more eagle-eyed viewer can inform us...

Final Grade: That’s right, I’m gonna do it...

Post-script, I actually messaged Jesse Moynihan to ask about his writing credit. He told me that it was for an unused story idea that he had developed. I’m not certain, but I’ll bet it was a part of the cancelled TV movie they were trying to make during season 5, since that would’ve seen Finn and Orgalorg journey to the various Dead Worlds.

[mortalfortaxpurposes]

Hey there

Favourite fOB SONGS?

hi :D

uhm. I accidentally wrote you an essay, so I’m putting it under the cut:

I tried to rank these but that's absolutely not happening, so I'm going to give you somewhat of a top ten, in a random order:

the phoenix - this is probably the most random choice out of all of them, but I love it so much. it's the very first fob song that I listened to years ago and it holds a special place in my heart. also I adore the drums in this song, and the way they punctuate the words, and patrick's pissed as fuck tone to go along with it. angry srar sound, my beloved.

the kids aren't alright - I love how post-hiatus their themes have shifted from fame to legacy, and this is the legacy song. it's realising that you made it so much farther than you ever thought you would, like, doesn't it fuck with your head a little bit how we're all still here? and it's also looking back at all of it from the perspective of someone older and happier and so much healthier, and going, it was worth it. I'd do it all again. I also love the little reference to the this ain't a scene music video, you know, the video that is also a very self-aware look at their fame and legacy. I could sit here and write you an essay about every single line in this song, but anyway. I go through phases where I forget how much I love this song, but I recently listened to this instrumental and just started sobbing, so.

the last of the real ones - god I love their soulmate songs. I love that pete said it's the closest thing to a love song they've ever done. I love the way this song slots into their reoccurring themes and I particularly adore his stars and planets metaphors and the way they return throughout their discography. though it will always haunt me that they took out "be a collapsing star with me" from the original version of the chorus. patrick why. fun fact this is one of my most streamed songs of all time, apparently.

twin skeleton's (hotel in nyc) - GOD I LOVE THEIR SOULMATE SONGS. this one has my favorite imagery in their entire discography. that first verse? come on. the fact that it's such a dark and twisted and angry song but it's so loving and hopeful underneath that. pete said "this is a love song to me", and, like, yeah. sometimes that level of emotional vulnerability is a little messy and ugly. sometimes the person that knows you like that is also the person that knows what makes you tick, but that's also the person that you're not afraid of getting into that dark place with. I also adore it as an album closer, with the repetition of "hold on" closing out the record. amazing.

I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (summer song) - this is the most devastating song, and that's partly knowing the context of it and partly just... the way patrick sings it. it just sounds so heart-wrenchingly sad. I think a lot about how so much of this album is so flippant, almost a performance, and I feel like this song is the moment when suddenly that's not true anymore. when you stop wanting the attention and start telling the truth.

the (shipped) gold standard - I love how folie is an album about a band that is falling apart, and I love the reoccurring theme of just wanting to quit everything and start over. hmm, subtle. also this song is just so much fun. it doesn't matter how many times I listen to it, every single time the chorus starts I lose my shit.

headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet - by far my favorite thing about fall out boy is the way the music serves the words and not the other way around. this is something patrick has talked about, specifically in reference to this album, and this song is my favorite example. I love when patrick puts on a character. I love the arrogance and bitterness covering up the insecurity. I love the way the melody is almost cocky when he's being arrogant, like he's posturing, and then everything strips back and the doubt sets in. and of course I always love the songs where patrick lets himself go nuts in the final chorus.

bob dylan - I can't really elaborate on this one, I just love it so much. it's anxious but also kind of lovely. I don't know. I'm obsessed with it. it makes me feel like driving around and being in love, which is a whole genre of fall out boy songs, I feel like. I can't believe we almost didn't get to hear it. sometimes I think about all the scrapped songs that must just be sitting on patrick's computer somewhere and it makes me want to break into his house with a usb stick.

the patron saint of liars and fakes - I love it as the album closer, thematically. the whole album is looking at this fucked up relationship and in the end it goes, will you even be sorry when we're over? I love how it incorporates the title of the album, I love the way the second verse sits on the melody, and I love pete's scream, it's one of my favorites. I miss when he used to scream on the track, they should bring that back.

the (after) life of the party - the emotion in this song is insane. fuck if it doesn't sound exactly like what a middle of the night break-down would sound like. I love how it's the same lyric over and over but the melody alone is carrying forward a whole narrative by itself. it's a sad song with really powerful vocals and I love that so much. 

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. their crush

Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Member

Word count: 3.9k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: It’s just them crushing on you 

Warnings: -

Masterlist

A/n: I tried a different format this time and used bullet points rather than just making it like a full story since my brain was going crazy when I wrote this. Let me know which format you prefer and maybe I might incorporate both bullet points and the essay ones since I actually quite enjoy writing using both.

Chan

You guys only met because you knew Jeongin 

The tiny babie brought you to meet his friends 

Chan was smitten when he first met you 

He thought you were so pretty when he saw you following behind Jeongin 

“Innie,” 

“Yeah?”

“Who is that?” 

He wants Jeongin to introduce you two

Sensing the vibes, the maknae is more than happy to introduce you two 

if he was being honest, he already knew Chan would pretty much fall in love with you immediately

Chan’s flustered when he introduces himself to you 

He’s almost blubbering all over the place 

You find it kinda cute but he’s scared you found him really weird 

He tries to steal little moments to be with you 

Like ‘accidentally’ bumping into you in the hallway 

Or how he just so happens to walk into Jeongin’s room when you’re on a call with him

Or how he just so happens to be lingering around the flea market nearby your college campus 

Chan takes care of you without even realising it 

If you bump into each other he asks whether you’ve eaten or how your day is 

He loves the way you seem to parent his friends like he does 

“Jisung, put the knife down. You’re going to hurt somebody” 

“Hehe, make me” 

“PUT IT DOWN 〴⋋_⋌〵” 

Chan’s surprised he listens to you

He loves how everyone only seems to listen if you’re the one talking too

If you’re hanging out with them at the dorms and Chan can’t seem to control everyone, you just step in 

“Guys, please”

And suddenly the chaos has calmed down 

Chan finds it amazing 

Everyone just… stops when you ask them to

You find it amusing 

It’s like watching a single dad trying to control his seven wild sons

He chases after Felix around the dorm a lot because he’s usually done something weird with Minho and Jisung

He manages to get your number using an excuse of needing you to calm down the boys 

“Please… they don’t listen sometimes” 

Jeongin finds reasons to push you two together 

“Yay! You guys made—oH nO I ComPleTeLy foRgoT!!”

Leaves the two of you alone 

He honestly just thinks you two should get together and so does the rest of the group

So they find excuses to get you two alone together 

But your relationship takes f o r e v e r  

Only because Chan wants to be absolutely certain that he likes you

He doesn’t want to commit to someone he’s worried he’s not sure of yet

Slowly but surely, he starts to ease into the relationship

He sends you music he thinks you’ll like 

Eventually he’ll start sending you his own music 

He only confesses when he’s absolutely sure he’s pretty much falling in love with you 

The way he does it just wins your heart immediately if you weren’t already as whipped for him as he was 

He writes a song for you (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡ 

Minho

Bumped into you at a dance studio he goes to often

He thinks your dancing is amazing 

At first he doesn’t want to bother you 

But then he’s all like “heyyyy I’m Minho” 

And you’re pretty much taken away by how gorgeous the man is 

Minho wouldn’t be too flustered 

He would keep his cool around you 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to impress you with his sexy dance moves 

Tries to win your heart the romantic way which doesn’t work because half the time you’re too busy dancing to actually realise he’s trying to flirt with you

“Hey, baby ;)” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing”

Wonders whether he should just make a dedicated advance towards you 

He likes your humour 

It’s similar to his 

You both just laugh at really weird stuff together 

When you share your numbers, he sends you weird videos that he thinks you’ll like 

Minho’s not much of a texter, but when you do get a message from him, it’s either something he’s really excited about or something really weird 

Only realises he’s actually crushing on you when Changbin points it out 

“Why are you so nice to them” 

“Who?” 

“(Y/n)” 

Then Minho realises that he really likes you

Starts slowly working harder to win your heart 

Helps you with your dancing

“Your body looks a bit stiff” 

Buys you lunch 

“I got you the lunch box from 7 11”

It’s always something you end up liking if you hadn’t tried it before

Buys you drinks from the vending machine 

“What is this???” 

It looks like a double shot coffee 

“Energy?”

Minho doesn’t know either but you both drink it anyway 

And end up being at the studio until 3 a.m. because you’re both so hyped with caffeine

Offers to walk you home if it’s getting late

“It’s not safe on your own”

“Minho, I’ll be fineeeee” 

Doesn’t take no for an answer and forces you to let him

His advances work

You’re pretty much whipped for him by the time he confesses 

Which Minho does by buying you flowers and bringing it to the studio 

Changbin

You work at the music shop that he goes to often 

When he’s browsing the CD’s and the vinyls, he spots you at the counter 

His heart almost explodes when he sees you 

The first thing that caught his eye was the way you were dressed 

:0 

Fits Changbin’s style 

He’s nervous to approach you with the vinyl in his hand 

Why was he so nervous? 

Oh right, he was pretty much completely smitten by you 

“Hi!” 

 He loves your voice even more

“H-Hey,”

Changbin’s so nervous 

He likes your bracelets too 

He thinks they’re really cool 

He ends up coming back a lot and you wonder why this man needs so many CD’s and vinyls 

Eventually, he builds up the courage to talk to you

Changbin comes by every once in a while just to say hi 

Sometimes he just comes in to talk to you during your break

You tell him you’ve always wanted to try making music

He tells you he makes music 

You’re all :0 

Changbin tells you about it 

And you get really interested in his music 

He starts coming after your shift or during your break to play you his songs 

He gets all uwu when he sees the way your eyes shine 

You have him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it 

Doesn’t admit that he’s pretty much whipped 

Even though he visits you almost every other day 

And how he buys you your favourite snacks 

Or how he stays way longer than he expected to just bcs he’s talking to you 

You’re just as whipped tbh 

You love talking to Changbin 

You like his music taste and he’s fun to be around 

Confesses to you by taking you out on a date 

He brings you to his studio 

Shows you how he makes music 

He finds it adorable how you’re so amazed by his equipment

So he teaches you whatever he can in the time you’re together 

You both spend the evening just messing around 

You make a short track that you’re sure sounds really off

Changbin reassures you that it’s nice 

He teaches you how to layer the different tracks 

And eventually teaches you how to edit them despite the few hours you have 

You’re so excited 

He smiles every time he looks at you 

Bcs you’re so adorable he feels like he might burst 

Confesses at the end of the night 

“I like you a lot” 

He blurts it out and it catches you slightly off guard 

But you like him back so it’s fine 

Ends up offering to take you to the studio anytime you’re both free

Hyunjin 

Met you through Felix 

Felix invited you to play a game with him and his friends 

Hyunjin hears your voice the first time and he’s already curious 

He thinks you’re really chill and he likes your vibe 

You end up playing more games with them 

He ends up wanting to get to know you more 

The thing that honestly gets to him the most is the way you take every loss so lightheartedly 

“There’s always another game” 

You don’t rage or stress out over it 

Over time, he starts spending one-on-one time with you 

Until you’re both just doing literally anything else but gaming together 

He denies them as dates whenever his friends ask, claiming that it’s just friend time

Until one night you’re both awake at four a.m. and talking about everything and anything 

He likes the way you think

“Hyunjin, did you know that sometimes in movies, they use trash cans to replicate tiger roars” 

“What???”

He likes how you’re joking talking about starting a revolution 

He knows you won’t

“So, yeah, fuck capitalism!” 

“Yeah!” 

He loves the fact that you’re so open about what you think even if it’s something small or weird

“Mercy’s ass is so thick… for what reason…” 

“She’s a video game character??” 

“Felix, her ass is so thick, she could kill someone with it” 

Hyunjin loves hearing you rant about your day 

“And?? It’s so stupid!!”

“Calm down, (Y/n)”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you egg!” 

Hyunjin thinks you’re adorable when you’re all riled up

He finds it amusing because he likes hearing you talk 

“You live there too?” 

He didn’t expect to be so close to you

“Yeah, that’s how I met Felix” 

He never realised you and Felix knew each other in real life

You spend more time together 

Talking about whatever comes to mind until the dead of night 

Sometimes you watch movies together 

You stay away from horror movies because he doesn’t like it that much 

But you’re always talking about something with him

The two of you are always the last to leave the call because you end up talking after games 

Hyunjin asks you out without even realising it sounds like a date

“Is that a date??” 

“Sure” 

He didn’t even realise he asked you out until after he’s left the call

?!?!?!?!

Goes into panic mode 

He just asked you out!!!! 

Starts asking Felix about you

He laughs at Hyunjin but helps him anyway

Shows him what you look like on your Instagram 

Hyunjin thinks you’re so pretty on your posts

When he sees you in person for the first time 

He’s so taken away 

You’re gorgeous

Whatever feeling he didn’t realise he had for you comes rushing in 

Hyunjin loves your laugh 

You spend the whole day together just walking around town

It’s nice to hear his voice when it isn’t coming out of your headphones

By the time the date’s over, Hyunjin wants more of you 

So he tells you he wants to take you out again while he’s walking you home 

You accept 

He turns to you with a c: before asking if he can kiss you

Jisung 

You’re a barista at the cafe nearby the JYPe building 

Jisung was designated as the drink buyer that time by the rest of his group 

If he was having trouble remembering all their orders before 

He has even bigger trouble now when he sees you 

YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR APRON 

He freezes the moment he sees you at the cashier 

“Hi! What would you like?” 

Jisung’s eyes go ◑.◑

“Uhm… sir?” 

“Sorry!” 

He struggles to get his order out properly

But you’re patient with him and even though he barely knows you 

He likes that you are 

Jisung’s watching you the entire time you make his order 

He can’t take his eyes off of you 

You do notice it, but you find him adorable so you don’t say anything 

He seems to be easily flustered

When you hand him his order, he’s still a blubbering mess 

“T-Thank you…” 

Your name tag says (Y/n) 

So he thanks you using your name which you smile 

“Have a great day!” 

Jisung comes back the next day 

He doesn’t even need any drinks, he just wants to see you again 

When he does, he feels all fluttery on the inside 

“Welcome back” 

He orders a dark chocolate smoothie and an iced mocha for Minho

Minho would kill him if he found out Jisung went to the cafe without him 

Jisung sits at an empty table and watches you again 

The next day, the cycle repeats 

And the day after that 

And the day after that 

Minho follows him at some point, wondering why Jisung seems to obsessed with the place 

“Why do you like this place so much?” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

Something’s definitely up with him 

Minho only finds out when he sees the way Jisung’s face seems to light up when he sees you 

“You like the barista, don’t you” 

“WHAT BARISTA ಠoಠ” 

That’s all he needs to confirm it 

Minho lets Jisung order, seeing just how excited and giddy he is when he’s talking to you 

Jisung’s practically bouncing up and down while you talk to him 

When they leave, Minho’s all up in it 

“You really like them, huh” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about >:c” 

Knowing Jisung, he wouldn’t do anything about it 

So Minho takes it into his own hands to bring you two together 

The group is having a mini event and they need someone to serve drinks 

Who else to ask other than you? 

Jisung’s eyes almost bulge out of his skull when he sees you because 

What are you doing here???? 

He’s so nervous 

Minho practically shoves him your way 

Again, you find him so cute that you don’t even realise he’s practically dying to know you more 

“Hi Jisung!” 

You learned his name over the course of him constantly coming back and Jisung just loves hearing it from you 

“Hi (Y/n)” 

“I can’t make anything ice blended, but I can trade if for an iced dark chocolate” 

“Okay!” 

As long as you make it, he’ll take it 

The event comes to an end but Jisung’s pretty much spent more time with you rather than his group mates 

Even they’re amused by how into you he obviously is 

“Hey Jisung” 

You stop him before you leave and he’s immediately at your side 

“Since you keep coming over, here’s my number” 

◑.◑

“Give me a call before you come in so that I can have your drink ready for you to pick up” 

He’s so happy :D

He sends you pictures of cute animals and random snippets of his music 

Felix 

Met you through League of Legends

You have good synergy so you became friends through that 

At first, he only managed to play with you occasionally 

When he’s able to, he notices how you always sound so bright 

“Hi Felix!” 

He likes playing with you 

You’re laid-back 

You don’t stress over losses too much 

“Ah, what to do?” 

But when you’re irritated, Felix finds it funny

“Fucking asshole!” 

“You were in the way, (Y/n)”

“Shut the fuck up!” 

You’re so funny to him 

“Felix, don’t go into bush” 

“I can bait them” 

“DON’T”

His character dies

“Oops ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)”

“-`д´-” 

You’re easy to game with and that’s what he admires the most right off the bat 

You always seem to be up for games 

Even when he’s not able to play, whenever he logs into Discord he sees you’re online 

Wonders whether you sleep at all 

“I don’t need sleep. I am gamerrrr. Gamers don’t sleep” 

“Please sleep” 

“Lix, sleep is for the weak and I’m not weak” 

“You passed out last night in call” 

Honestly slightly concerned for you 

Overtime he realises that he really looks forward to games with you

Before Felix would just go to sleep after practice or shows 

But he’ll start waiting to see if you’re up for even one game 

Which you always are 

Slowly starts spending time with you just talking 

Eventually it leads to the both of you staying up until 5 a.m. laughing at really stupid memes 

During the day when Felix can’t join call 

He sends you funny tiktoks and memes 

You appreciate it because you like him 

But you don’t admit it because you’ve never met him in person before

Until you both find out that you live only a few hours away from him 

Invites you down to Seoul to spend time with him 

You’re nervous

Felix is nervous

He knows what you look like

You exchanged Snapchats and started streaking a while before 

He sends you funny pictures of his members 

You send him selfies with random filters

But nothing could prepare him for when you appear from around the corner 

He sees you appear and he’s all (゜ロ゜)

Your photos don’t do your natural beauty any justice

Is a bit of a mess when you’re walking around together 

Eventually loosens up around you 

Compliments you a lot and it makes you blush 

You spend the day just wandering around the place 

Felix takes you to his favourite places and favourite cafes 

He wants to share his favourite things with you 

You find it endearing 

Tries to make you laugh a lot because he’s just grown to really like the sound of your voice 

Since you’ve spent most of your time talking over call

Felix just loves hearing your voice 

When the day’s over 

He asks for more nights that aren’t just filled with games because owo he wants to do more with you 

Seungmin

Bumped into you at JYPe because you were visiting a friend 

Hears you singing with Yeji and he immediately falls in love with your voice 

He peeks into the dance studio to see the two of you just sitting on the floor together 

There’s no music 

It’s just the two of you singing together 

Your voice makes him :D 

Seungmin leaves the two of you bcs he doesn’t want to intrude 

But he ends up seeing you more often 

Turns out you’re in Seoul for a while so you’re spending quite some time with Yeji 

He sees you in the hallways a lot

When you walk past each other, it’s always just a polite bow 

You don’t really think much of Seungmin other than the fact that you think he’s pretty handsome 

Yeji teases you for that 

When you’re walking through the building to look for her 

You hear someone singing in one of the rooms 

You peek through the glass 

It’s Seungmin! 

ಠoಠ

And he’s so good

You listen from outside the door 

You knew he was good since he was an idol

But you didn’t think that he was that good

You don’t even realise he’s done when the door swings open and you’re standing there 

When Seungmin sees you, he realises you were most likely listening 

Now you’re just staring at each other like 

(ﾟωﾟ;)

Because now he knows you were listening 

And now you know he knows 

“Uhm…” 

You’re embarrassed 

You’re lucky Yeji pops from around the corner and your eyes plead for her to drag you away 

Which she doesn’t 

“Sunbaenim!”

“Hi Yeji” 

“Have you met (Y/n) before?” 

You actually want to tear her apart

“Not properly, no” 

“Well... “ 

“WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME” 

You drag her away before she can say anything else 

The next time you see Seungmin 

You pass by him in the hallway once again while you’re looking for Yeji

“(Y/n)” 

ಠ_ಠ

“We keep passing each other but we’ve yet to actually meet each other properly��� 

“Haha…” 

“I know you were listening the other day” 

“Haaahhhhhhaaaa…”

“I don’t mind that you did.”

“Huh” 

You’re actually bit surprised that he doesn’t mind

“I overheard you and Yeji singing the other day in the dance room” 

༼ : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ༽

“You sing really beautifully, (Y/n)” 

There’s an awkward wall that takes a while before you two actually break it down 

But when you do 

It’s almost like you visit the building to see Seungmin rather than Yeji 

She doesn’t mind since she saw it coming 

Doesn’t mean she can’t tease you about it 

Seungmin looks forward to having lunch with you in the cafeteria 

At this point, the staff don’t even question your now daily appearance 

You end up falling for Seungmin way faster than you thought possible 

The feeling’s mutual 

He just likes everything about you 

You’re so sweet 

You’re also really caring 

He notices that when you follow him to the practice room where Stray Kids are 

Changbin trips over Hyunjin’s legs 

You’re rushing over to help without any of them really realising it 

He loves how nice your voice is too 

“Can you sing for me?”

You’re shook 

You wonder why he wants to hear your voice specifically

“Your voice is just really nice 

He realises he really likes you when you briefly disturb their practice to give Seungmin lunch 

He briefly mentioned that he forgot his wallet and his lunch 

Since you aren’t an idol or staff

You had to use your own money in the cafeteria 

Seungmin’s heart flips at the realisation 

Ends up asking you out so that you don’t have to spend so much time inside the JYPe building all the time 

Jeongin 

Meets you through Changbin 

You went to the same high school as him and you kinda just stuck around

Changbin brings you to the dorm bcs he borrowed a hoodie 

The entire dorm greets you really brightly 

Jeongin’s the only one just watching in awe 

He’s so shy when you wave at him 

Seungmin notices and raises a brow 

“I-I’m Jeongin” 

“Hi Jeongin! Changbin talks about you guys a lot” 

He’s so nervous 

He wants to know you more, but he also doesn’t want to make it obvious that he’s taking interest in you 

The others don’t really notice because they’re too excited by the new person 

Seungmin, on the other hand, tells Changbin about it 

Changbin now makes it his mission to bring you two together 

He brings you over to the dorm more often 

Especially if Jeongin’s the only one home 

“(Y/n), you’ve met Innie before right?”

You nod

Jeongin’s adorable 

Changbin ends up bringing you over for movie nights 

Now you’re just an honorary member of the group 

Everyone else loves you 

Jeongin always tries to sit next to you during movie nights 

Especially if it’s a horror movie 

When you get scared, you hug his arm and he likes that 

Makes him feel like he’s able to protect you like a big strong man ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

You kinda like him too

So you test the waters around him 

You start talking to him more since Changbin told you he’s really shy 

Jeongin slowly eases into your company 

It takes a bit of time, but he’s started getting more confident around you 

You visit the dorm thinking Changbin’s there because he stole your favourite belt 

When Jeongin opens the door he’s all :D but when you ask where his hyung is he goes D: 

Tells you he’s not home but lets you in anyway 

No one else is home except for Jeongin and Chan 

So you sit in the living room with Innie 

You start talking about random things 

You end up talking about almost everything because it turns out that Changbin’s gone way longer than both of you thought 

Chan eventually emerges from his bedroom and waves at you 

He orders fried chicken for you guys 

You and Jeongin continue talking while eating 

Chan finds it super cute

Jeongin’s playful around you 

But he doesn’t want to make himself appear immature 

But you like when he’s being playful so you slowly ease him into being more comfortable 

He still just wants to impress you so you like him back 

Wait, when did he start liking you??? 

He realised it when you were over for a regular movie night 

You fell asleep in his lap 

Jeongin thought you were so cute 

When you wake up he asks you out 

You accept 

He cuddles you for the rest of the night and asks you to spend the night at the dorm

[comehomeducklings]

Present [Part 4] (Obsession)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Tom Riddle's Moodboard

Main Character's Moodboard

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

1943 ~ 6th year

“What would be the purpose of a wizard or witch to prepare a Polyjuice potion?” Slughorn asks. “Yes, Mr. Riddle?”

Tom drops his hand from the air, “The potion grants the drinker to take the form of another.”

“Yes! And what would happen if said drinker tried to transform into an animal?”

I know this one so I lift my hand.

“Go ahead.”

I clear my throat, “When the human drinker tries to transform into an animal they would not take its complete form. Only sections of said animal.”

Slughorn nods his head, “Can they reverse after a bit of time like normally?”

“No,” I answered. “It takes an extremely long time to wear off, and you might even have to go to the hospital wing.”

He grins and continues to write on the chalkboard. Even though he can enchant the writer's tool to note down itself, I’m guessing he prefers the old-fashioned way.

Tom and I are even on points. When he answers correctly, I also do right after him. I can see him noting down both our points on the corner of his parchment. The black tally marks standing out. Our points are on my paper as well, just in case he decides to cheat. No chances are being taken today, or tomorrow.

“How long does the potion wear off if made correctly?”

Riddle and I both shoot our hands up. His demeanor is calm and collected while I'm sitting on my feet to have my arm raised higher than his. It’s not very fair that his arms are the length of mine to the third power.

“Mr. Nott, what do you know?”

“A single dose could last from 10 minutes to 12 hours.”

Another question wasted by not getting called on. I don’t mind that much since it doesn't keep me behind. Riddle seems to care a little bit too much. His competitive side is showing and I guess his pal is ruining the race.

Professor stole our textbooks for this pop quiz. The rapid-fire questions should “already be memorized and known,” down to the molecular detail. My knowledge only goes so far.

I trust myself, to a point. There’s definitely going to be a question I get wrong and I’m already dreading it. Every answer that falls out of my mouth is examined and thought over ten times before the action of answering arises.

“For something a little different, Mr. Riddle come to the front of the classroom and write four ingredients that are needed for the potion.”

He stands up and pushes his chair in. His eyes as cold as The Black Lake. While he makes his way toward the board I cross my fingers, hoping he forgets one. I know that’s not the kindest, but nothing with him is necessarily “kind.”

There he goes, writing all four ingredients with ease. His handwriting is beautiful. How does he honestly do that? Does he practice every single day to get it that precise?

Maybe I should practice to improve as well. Honestly embarrassing how bad my handwriting seems next to his. We compared essays once, never again. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life. He just laughed at me and kept pointing out how weird my f’s looked.

I swear my letters weren’t that bad. It’s just that he overachieves everything. Now I rewrite every “f” letter that appears on my homework. Thank you for the new insecurity, Riddle.

“Very good! Very good, your turn,” he points towards me. “Three more ingredients this time.”

While I stand in front of the board, I check out what he has already put down. Lacewig flies, leeches, okay not bad. Knotgrass and the hair of the person the drinker will transform into.

He numbered them so I continued on from that.

5) Boomslang skin

6) Fluxweed

Last one, let's see. We already put Lacewig flies, Knotgrass, hair, the skin, and Fluxweed. I hesitate for a little bit, my brain working at high speed. Anxiety levels are higher than Mount Everest.

7) Powdered Bicorn Horn

There we go, I smile to myself proudly. When I turn back around my eyes meet his. He smirks and nods while he writes down a point for both of us. I’m not sure that it counts for four points, just one.

The questions go on for quite a bit. Our tally marks are piling higher and higher. Each of our count's neck and neck for the top spot.

“What is the brewing time?”

“About a month.”

“How does the potion look before the addition of the final ingredient?”

“Thick like the mud after it pours.”

“It also is bubbling.”

“How does it look after adding the final ingredient?”

“Depends on who the witch or wizard made the potion to look like.”

“Varies in taste and color.”

He seems to be done with questions so Tom and I start counting the marks. On my paper, I seem to be .5 points ahead of him. I quickly look his way to see him come to the same conclusion. He takes a deep breath and casts his eyes to the side. Tom then tilts his quill my way signaling that I did indeed win.

I’m about to squeal quite highly but then I recollect I’m in a classroom. Full of people who are terrified to be anywhere in this castle. That would be quite inappropriate of me so I keep my excitement to myself.

Professor Slughorn wipes the whole board away. Clearing all the information we were learning and reviewing about.

“When I pair you up, each of you will grab the right ingredients for this potion and lay it near the front of your desk,” he says. “It should be laid in the order you would normally use when making the concoction.”

“First up, Miss Horn and Miss Yellowbo.”

The classroom starts to move with life as students pair with one another. Some cheerful noises and annoyed ones from who they ended up with. Most of us here know each other. I don’t think I would mind having anyone in this room as my partner.

“Mr. Riddle and-”

Of course, it’s me. Starting to think the pairings’ on purpose. His face shines too brightly for it not to be well planned out. I make my way to the shelves to start out picking the ingredients.

There’s always a moment where my mind decides to give up on me. Most of the elements are obtained. A few are missing.

I’m going over the variety of bottles containing different substances when I feel a looming pressure on my back. An arm slightly grazes past my ear and picks up Fluxweed.

“How do you manage to forget the very ingredient you wrote down on the board?” Toms whispers right by my ear.

I shift my eyesight to the side to see him already looking at me, “Sorry, I blanked out a little.”

He starts seizing half of the ingredients into his hold. I don’t really mind carrying a couple, but I’m just left with one bottle after he takes most of my possessions.

“Taking all the credit now I see,” I tilt my head as I raise my chin to meet his tall build.

“You were about to spill everything. I’m saving you from embarrassment,” he responds cockily.

I started to argue but he already made his way back to the desk, “Everything was perfectly stable in my arms.”

He continues to ignore me and sets down everything. Including the one bottled ingredient in my hand that he snatched just a few moments ago.

“Nothing is ever perfectly stable with you.”

I’m about to whisper a word no children should hear before Slughorn makes his way to our table. Saving Riddle from my rising annoyance.

“Wonderful! You too got all of them perfectly,” he starts. “I would expect no less from my star students.”

All I do is smile brightly in respect. Trying not to drive any more attention to the outburst of pride he has for us.

“Thank you, professor,” Tom says. He starts picking the ingredients off of the table, still barely letting me take any.

Riddle just walks off while our proffesor continues around the room. When he comes back I just about finish wiping the desk of any accidental spills.

“I won our little game this time,” I nudged his shoulder with my own.

Tom slightly rolls his eyes with a small smile, “I see that you have. Just this one though.”

“And many more to come,” I exclaim.

Our attention seeks back to our teacher, “You’ll all be writing an essay about an imaginary way this potion could go wrong. I expect it to be turned in before class tomorrow.”

I hurry to get my textbook off of my area and head towards the back of the classroom near the doorway.

“Everyone split into two groups. This half will go with Riddle while the other is with me.”

I turn my head once more to look at Tom, he’s reassuring one of the students that they are going to be okay.

I only look for a couple of seconds before leading my half of the group out first. A few stops along the way to make sure perfects are keeping order. Most of my group of students have been dropped off. A couple still lures behind me, I picked them up as I worked my way through the castle halls.

They were also dropped off and now I scatter along the hallway to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. Like every other period, the routine stays the same mostly.

My robes have a few wet spots on them still from the tears of younger students attending this school. I fully believe it won’t be too long until the headmaster and the ministry deal with whoever is making our lives miserable here. The murders will surely not go unjustly.

As I am turning a new hallway I happen to meet up with Riddle.

“All good?”

“Of course,” he responds. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

He seems to look around quite a bit. Like he’s searching for something.

“Head back to your class, I will look around once more.”

That’s the last thing he says before moving around me with his hand on my shoulder. Quickly slipping past me.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

“No, no no,” I whisper to myself as I crumple yet another paper in my hand. I throw it on the ground next to me and huff out a breath.

Writing this bloody essay is taking more time than I predicted. It usually comes naturally to me but I can’t seem to write correctly. Every time I make a mistake I have to start over again. My handwriting failing to write neatly for once.

My whole structure and information is already figured out. Writing is what’s taking me the longest. No matter how hard I try, the letters never seem to come out correctly from my quill.

Especially the f’s.

F

f

Infuriating really. I only have an hour left until the library closes. It already technically shut down but the librarian gave me an extra three hours as long as I lock up.

Perks of being Head Girl I suppose.

My head is in my hands as I compose myself. It’s late and I’m tired, it’s not even safe to be out at this time. At least if I happen to die I wouldn’t have to write this essay.

“How long have you been trying at this-” a low voice asks behind me.

I jump in my seat, “Oh it’s just you. Well, it’s been-”

“And failing?” Tom finishes as he takes the seat next to me. The chair turned slightly to me.

I roll my eyes and fall further back into my seat. My head turned upwards, admiring the flying books in the ceiling. Finding their place, their way home.

“Probably an hour and a half,” I sigh. “You’re completely right about how bad my calligraphy is.”

He just nods his head and takes a fresh new sheet from the middle of the table. His quill magically appears from inside his robe. All the papers that have the plans for my essay start to float around his head and workspace. Occasionally glancing up at them from time to time and then going back to writing.

His lips are pursed in concentration, “I write my F’s like this. It’s easier that way and extremely easy to practice and write quickly.”

My head peers over his shoulder as I watch him effortlessly indite.

“You try,” he opens up my fingers that were closing my hand and places a quill in them.

I furrow my eyebrows and start to practice my letters on a separate piece of paper that I originally scrapped. I don’t want to waste paper and there’s no reason to get a fresh new one.

We both work quietly in the night until the last few minutes of opening time. Before I left the room I saw him quickly go far back into the library. I never got to ask him why he arrived here so late.

Never saw the need to.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~ Taglist:

@empath-bunny

@jinxqsu

[owen-not-carvour]

i’m bored so here’s an essay i accidentally wrote after watching the staircase scene one too many times (this may or may not be coherent,, i just reread it and it makes sense to me but idk if it’ll make sense to y’all):

what does owen think curts best is?

because that can change a Lot about what “you’ll do your best” actually means. because as the audience we have one idea.. we just assume that owen means curt won’t succeed Period… but then we have to know what owens idea of it is in order to understand exactly what he thinks about curt trying to take down chimera. anyway. owen thinks curt’s an idiot ofc (more like an “arrogant, impulsive brute” but yknow same difference). but like. he also knows he'll stop at practically Nothing to reach a goal as he's seen that side of curt even before he fell (getting more into hc territory here but i think that’s how curt would actually be sooo). so just. what does owen thinks curts best is? does he think he can actually do it (well, no just be chimera is so big BUT ALSO JUST THAT. curt won't stop until chimera is down,, no matter how big it is) so maybe this is more of owen honestly showing that he also hasn't really moved on, too.. he knew exactly how curt would respond and react to this and just. hm. maybe he even hopes that curt does manage to take down chimera (just bc he knows that eventually there’s a slight chance he actually Could succeed,, just bc he's so Determined and owen hasn’t moved on one bit either (even though all the love he had for curt was turned into hatred and anger and a burning want for revenge)). and even though owen agrees with chimeras goals and actively works to facilitate them no matter the cost,, (i mention this again further down,, but it’s applicable here too) chimera is still technically an agency of sorts. they seem to operate in very similar ways,, so if owen realized this. he’d probably realize that chimera is, in a way,, just as bad as everything he wanted to get away from and destroy.

also, owen expected curt to chase him down. he knew he would bc he fucking says exactly that before he leaves after his monologue in 2.5. bc though it's been 4 years and both of them are completely different they're both painfully the same, too. so owen just knows exactly what curt will want to do (which is why he's so disappointed/frustrated that curt isn't seeing the point he's trying to make as to why chimera could be good… an argument i feel like they’ve had before, as well) bc curt is still exactly the same.

that's also why owens demeanor shifts so much from the monologue to the staircase scene. bc he doesn't have to keep up an appearance nearly as much w curt as he does with tatiana and the informant because they didn’t know him (personal history and all). bc no matter how much he thinks curt doesn't know him nearly as well anymore,, he hasn't moved on either,, and he's still very much the same too. owens death just brought out the worst in both of them. once a spy, always a spy. even after owen "died" he's still the same. sure he stopped working for mi6, but he really didn't change nearly as much as he thought he did. he just finally got to be angry at everything. bc i firmly believe that owens hatred of secrets/government was rooted in him having to hide who he is and his relationship w curt,, as well as everything that those govs kept from him. i'm sure he heard the whole "but you're not a man you’re property of the us gov' thing barb says even Before the russian affair (therefore he also probably doesn't rlly like barb,, watch his reaction to when she calls curt.. it's very indicative of this actually lol) bc of course curt has his Habits…… but just. knowing that their agencies practically only think of them as expendable probably infuriated owen (especially when he'd hear that directed at curt..). so when he fell. it was like all that being proved true (maybe part of why he thinks curt left him for dead or something,, not that curt Didn’t,, just in the way i’m thinking about it it’s not necessarily the Same). but it also gave him an opportunity. he joined chimera and finally got to be pissed at the govs for treating them like they were so expendable, as well as for making them hide. and not to mention solely at curt for ofc. leaving him for dead and wanting to make him feel everything that he felt when the building exploded (why he shocks curt during torture tango ofc) horror of staying alive and all.. but like even if owen thinks that all that has truly changed him. he honestly still has the same beliefs. he hasn't moved on nearly as much as he thinks he has. and he still knows curt practically as well as he used to (and believes that he could **possibly** take down chimera-back to 'you'll do your best') therefore,, once a spy. always a spy: forever. whatever. (bc also owen still never really escaped. he's still working for an agency even if it's not government affiliated and shady as Hell,, and though he may be a higher up. he's still not the highest up in chimera.. there’s always gonna be someone in charge of Him. and as long as owens in this cycle,, he’s no better than if he were really still a spy yknow)

yknow what else hurts!! (i couldn’t find a good place in the “essay” to stick this so here it is instead):

-owen kind of sounds like he's trying to convince curt to join him or at least admit that's he's right at one point during the staircase scene but ofc curt shoots it down (heh) right after which makes owen more defensive again (“a new world awaits us, curt” sure it could be ‘us’ as in the world,, but he has to know how loaded that is considering who they are)

-also how owen talks abt how killing him won't take the system offline bc HE DOESNT WANNA BELIEVE THAT CURT WOULD KILL HIM FOR ANY OTHER REASON !! (again,, owen carvour?? moving on???? yeah fuckin right, as if lol)

-one of my favorite lines: “that secret died the night you left me for dead.” it used to confuse me as to why owen would say this.. i was thinking of it as like.. he’s just decided to like. not be gay anymore??? bc like how would that just. not matter anymore?? then i thought that it meant that the Secret was dead bc someone found it out?? but THEN IT HIT ME: owen says this because he doesn’t care if it did get out. he’s dead. what’s it gonna matter to him? if it gets out that he and curt are gay,, then the only person it’s gonna hurt is curt because he’s the one still alive. and that’s the one thing owen wants after he falls: to see curt suffer, and that would do it. and just. screaming about how amazing that implication is and kinda embarrassed it took me 3 years to understand such a simple connection. but God it’s so fuckin good. angsty as Fuck but. also incredible.

but yeah this post is long enough so that’s all i’ll share for now. just some owen analysis/staircase scene ramblings for ya on this fine tuesday night :)

[thetrap]

why i think deancas just might go canon

i’ve been wanting to write this for a bit, but i haven’t really had the time until now. basically this is just a super unorganized collection of thoughts i have on why i think that dean and castiel actually have a fairly decent shot of becoming canon (and by decent shot i mean like.....a solid 5% chance. and that’s being generous). this is based off of the show itself (obviously), quotes from andrew dabb, and other things.

1. andrew dabb is deancas positive

i made a post a while back that never made it out of the drafts, but it was basically a summation of all the good deancas shit dabb has given us as a writer. here are the bullet points:

- the hug/"i'm not leaving here without you!" moment in purgatory (8x02) 

- "don't lose it over one man"

- "he's in love.....with humanity"

- cas/colette parallel ("dean. stop.") in 10x22

- just the fight scene from the prisoner in general like......wow

- sam/jess and dean/cas parallel in 12x23

- "we've lost everything......and now, you're gonna bring him back" + dean's just generally overwhelming grief in 13x01

- "and how is it that you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.....you know, everything"

and these are just the big moments.

also notable is the fact that an activist sent dabb (and some of the other producers of spn i think) a book about dean and cas and why the fans want it/why it would be a good thing for the show. a few years later, meghan fitzmartin (who wrote the most recent episode!) was hired as dabb’s assistant, went into his office and posted a tweet a with pictures of the book, saying something along the lines of “doing some reading for work!”

the fact that dabb actually kept a fanmade deancas book for years.....the fact that he’s consistently written episodes with really strong subtext for years.....the fact that the dean and castiel romantic tension has only picked up since he took over as showrunner (mixtape, lily sunder, cas’s death, dean’s grief arc, the entirety of season fifteen, etc.)......idk i just think it’s really interesting that there has been such a marked shift since he was put in charge.

2. the mixtape

i know this was a few seasons ago, but it’s still relevant because like. a mixtape is not platonic. this scene was not platonic. full-stop.

and it’s not even the act by itself; it’s also the dialogue!! “it was a gift. you keep those.” this is more than likely a direct callback to aragorn and arwen in lord of the rings (that’s the first thing i thought of, at least).

the fact that dabb let this slide, like......he knows what this looks like. berens and glynn, who wrote this episode, know what it looks like. they knew precisely how this would be perceived, and then wrote and aired the scene anyways.

and that’s not even getting into the camerawork. like what?? was this shot???

yeah so. definitely not platonic.

3. the trap

honestly i thought about just posting this part of this overlong essay thing, because to me, this is the episode where i went okay, so this might actually happen.

there are SO many things in this episode that made me go insane the first time i watched it (”i left, but you didn’t stop me”) but the thing that stuck out to me the most was dean’s reaction to castiel saying, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer,” when dean tries to tell him something.

like?????? he does not look relieved!! nor does he look particularly happy!!

hell, if you go back and watch the video you can literally see him swallow his words down like....jensen ackles is the master of micro expressions and that shit is Not Accidental. this moment 100% gives the vibe that there is something that is not being said. the camera following dean as he gives cas a lingering look is really interesting too.

3. dabb’s comments about dean and cas in season 15

this part is actually sort of related to the point above, since a lot of dabb’s comments are in reference to “the trap.” here are some interesting ones that i want to point out:

But the Leviathan won’t be the focal point of the purgatory story. Rather, it’s about what Dean and Castiel are going through. “They’re not going to resolve the emotional stuff, but it allows them to redefine their friendship a little bit in light of what’s happened especially earlier this season,” Dabb says. (x)

the key thing here is that dabb said that, in 15x09, dean and cas are “not going to resolve the emotional stuff.”

now. i don’t know about you, but dean falling to his knees, praying to cas and weeping feels a lot like emotional resolution to me. like, sure, things will probably be awkward between them for a while, but surely this is the peak moment of their emotional vulnerability with each other, right? surely this is the moment where they’ve resolved the issue between them? like how the fuck does it get more intensely emotional than this??

yet dabb seems to be implying that it will, which leaves us with the million dollar question: what is left about dean and cas’ relationship to resolve?

keep in mind that as of 15x16, there hasn’t been much forward movement on that front; that is, we’ve had some cute moments between them, but in terms of serious conversation about their relationship, there’s been basically nothing. so we can assume that this development, whatever it is, will occur in 15x18, since dean and cas will be separated for most of 15x17, as cas will be off with sam.

aka the episode where cas will likely get yanked away by the empty. aka the episode with the teary (!!!) conversation we saw in the promo between dean and cas.

also notable from the above quote is dabb saying that dean and cas are redefining their friendship. like....redefining how? to what?? that wording is just really interesting to me.

another quote from dabb re “the trap”:

(x)

it forces them to “start that process.” indicating yet again that the prayer scene between dean and cas is not the moment where whatever is between them is resolved. yet, from where we are right now, dean and cas seem mostly fine. which means that whatever they have yet to work out doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their fight.

lastly:

a really significant chunk of what happens to dean in 15x09 is him confronting his issues with cas. don’t get me wrong - there are other important things that happen in the episode - but the fact that an episode where so much time/emotional energy is given to dean and cas’ dynamic is considered a turning point for dean is very notable and, to me, speaks to the importance of their relationship for the rest of the season.

4. dean/cas and sam/eileen being set up as units

i’m of the opinion that sam and dean will (by choice) go their separate ways at the end of the show. i think this for a variety of reasons that i wrote about here, and to add onto this, i think that dean/cas and sam/eileen are, in a way, being set up as two units.

this theory comes from two points:

1. the fact that eileen got brought back at all

this isn’t to say that eileen isn’t an interesting character all on her own/outside of her romance with sam, but the fact that they brought her back and then proceeded to set her up in this romance feels really significant to me. what’s especially interesting is how, even after she leaves in 15x09, we get a continuation of their romance in 15x14. i don’t necessarily think that she’s sam’s endgame in the sense that the final episode will show sam going to her or whatever, but i do think that part of the reason she was brought back was so that sam would have someone who he loves/someone he could potentially build a life with after he and dean defeat chuck.

2. the way the two couples were portrayed in “the trap”

like....just watch the future scenes in the bunker. there’s very much a sense that these are two couples living together. and “ever since the mark made cas go crazy, ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box.” note the use of i, not we. and then dean/cas and sam/eileen are directly paralleled when dean tells sam he needs to give it up after eileen’s death, comparing it to how dean has given it up after having to bury cas in the ma’lak box.

5. dean does not do Well without cas

this is probably an understatement. there have been a couple of notable instances in this season where the viewer is given a glimpse of what happens to dean when cas dies/is in danger of death/is separated from dean (in case the whole ass widower arc in s13 wasn’t enough).

two of these are from “the trap”:

1. dean freaking out/crying/praying when he’s separated from cas in purgatory

2. dean giving up on life/hunting after burying cas in the ma’lak box in the future world

3. dean’s reaction to cas temporarily going to the empty in 15x13

the one i want to spend the most time on is number two, in large part because sam was witness to it and i think that this might get brought up in 15x17.

part of my spec for that episode is that cas will tell sam about his deal/sam will find out somehow, and in reaction sam might tell cas about how dean reacted to his death in s13 - a conversation that was notably absent from the show when cas finally returned in 13x05. i also think that he might mention no. 2 above, basically telling cas that if he dies, dean is done. that he won’t be able to handle it/move past it. the show has been telling us this over and over for a while now, and it’s only been emphasized more in season 15. i think that 15x17 is the episode where this will finally be verbally expressed.

to me, all of this emphasis on dean giving up when cas is gone isn’t for nothing. in my opinion, it’s being done very purposefully to set up an endgame where dean and cas are together in some sense of the word. and a lot of what i’ve said above is what makes me think it’ll be a Romantic together.

5. bobo berens’ three part deancas saga

so we all know that berens is pretty much spn’s foremost deancas warrior, and what i want to point out here is how this season has been utilizing him as a writer.

this season, berens has three solo episodes (he wrote “galaxy brain” with meredith glynn):

1. the rupture

2. the trap

3. despair (formerly known as “the truth”)

so far, these first two episodes have had major deancas moments. you could even label them as:

1. the rupture (the breakup)

2. the trap (the reconciliation)

3. depair (???)

keep in mind also that berens wrote 14x18, where the dean and cas sort of had a preliminary breakup. he’s been in charge of this arc for a while, and the fact that so much of his writing this season has been deancas focused.......i don’t know, i just think it’s significant in part because, while berens has always been deancas positive, he also writes plenty of episodes that aren’t focused on dean and cas. but now, in the final season, the dean and cas emotional arc has been handed to him, and it’s been the primary focus on his writing.

(sidenote: berens was promoted to executive producer for this final season)

to me, this is all leading to a big moment between dean and cas in 15x18 - and the fact that it was at one point called “the truth,” only to be switched back to despair - makes me think that there will be some sort of confession involved. my money is on cas being the one to say it (especially since this would line up with the leak), especially given the glimpse we saw of (what might be) this moment in the promo. which leads me to...

6. cas does not cry

i saved this for last because the promo where we see teary-eyed cas is actually what pulled me back into this shitshow.

cas does not cry. like. ever. he got a little teary in 15x15, when jack told him of his plan to sacrifice himself, but we have never - never - seen him shed actual tears. and in the promo, particularly that shot where cas says “you have fought for this whole world,” it 100% looks like cas is about to cry cry.

cas has seen his son die. he has seen dean die. he died himself, over and over and over. and we have never seen him cry.

yet for some reason, in this moment of vulnerability with dean, he’s crying. i find it highly unlikely that cas would cry because of his impending death, for a number of reasons (for one, he wouldn’t want to upset dean more than he has to). so, assuming he’s not crying because of his own death, then what is making cas so emotional that he is genuinely crying for the first time in the twelve seasons he has been on the show?

my guys.....i can only think of one thing.

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

EXT. The Roof (Winter) - Sunset

Not Just Attracted to Women!Peter Maximoff x Fem and Not Just Attracted to Men!Reader

Based off of a dream I recently had: Peter and Y/N have a conversation on the roof of Xavier's in mid-December. Peter accidentally lets it slip that he might not be straight, and he is afraid that Y/N will think less of him because of it because this is the 80s. Y/N reveals that she is also not straight, and is saddened by the fact that Peter could think that she could ever hate him- especially for that. She calls him wonderful. Feelings ensue. Also, a touch of Cherik at the end because I give the people what they want.

Warnings: Swearing, Peter cries, internalized homophobia (this is the 80s-ish and Peter uses the word 'queer' in a kind of incorrect and kind of offensive manner, but it was internalized homophobia and not actually intended to be mean to anyone but himself so I forgive him), a touch of angst but mostly fluff, Charles called you two "children" even though you are obviously not, Erik is happy that his son has someone that cares about him the way you do, Peter is insecure but not super blunt about it, Peter has been deprived of being adored his entire life, bad writing, I mention a serial killer twice, historical inaccuracy because the word queer was still a slur so yeah.

A/N: This is literally the first thing I have ever written so please be nice to me, I wrote this instead of an essay. I would love a comment of any kind, even if it's just a heart emoji or something, and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Also 'N/N' stands for nick-name.

(Ok, so, full discloser: the format is odd. The bullet points represent dialogue, and the only dialogue is between you two love birds. The first bullet point is Peter, the second is Y/N, the third is Peter, and so on.)

“I dunno, the whole ‘liking people’ thing has always been weird for me.”

“How do you mean?"

“Pppffftt- 'how do you mean,' what are you, Shakespeare or somethin’?”

“Yeah, because that’s the era when ‘how do you mean' would have been a popular term. Ok, what do you mean?”

“Just- when other people were liking people I never really was?”

He was gesturing wildly and avoiding eye contact, as always. He wasn't uncomfortable with eye contact, he just got bored easily in conversations, he needed to keep himself occupied. In this situation that meant staring at the red and green lights covering the rest of the roof, the snowy trees all over the yard, and a holly garland around the gate. Peter wasn't Christian, but man, did he love their Christmas decorations.

“Like… now? In school?”

“Well- yeah… but also when I was younger. And I never liked the right people? Or... liked them in the right way?”

“So you’ve never liked anyone.”

“No, no… I definitely have. It was just… weird! I don't-”

His hands dropped to his side in defeat.

“I don’t think it’s that out of the ordinary. I would tell you if it was. Also, if it was... 'weird', like you said, that wouldn’t mean it was necessarily bad.”

He hadn’t really heard what she said, he was too busy pondering what his next sentence would be. When she wasn't speaking, he was rambling.

"I had some of the normal crap… like in movies when they talk about the fluttery stomach junk. I've had that around a few girls I've been friends with, also that phase with the boy stuff, a-"

“Wait, what phase with the boy stuff?”

“Like- when you’re in middle school or whatever and you're gay for a second.”

His phrasing was a joke, but the statement as a whole was not.

“…‘Gay for a second’?”

“…Yeah?”

“Hmmm..."

"Is that- not-"

"I don't think that is... 'normal'... per-say..."

“Oh… Really?”

His heart sunk.

“…Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“…Mhm.”

“…Shit.”

He suddenly looked almost embarrassed. He shifted his posture, seemingly trying to shrink into himself.

“Do you... wanna chat about it?”

Panic started to slowly rise in him.

“Um- forget I said anything.”

“Why?”

Something in him said to go on the "defense". He did not appear as calm as he was intending to.

“I’m not- gay! or anything. I like girls! I do!”

She put her hand on his arm.

“Hey- look at me for a second. We are not in court, and I never 'accused' you of being gay. That would be a very funny reality TV show, but not what is happening right now. Listen, theoretically if you were gay that wouldn’t be bad! And I wouldn’t be… whatever you.. think that I would be? I mean- however you are afraid I would act in a negative reaction to it? I would try to be here for you, and be as supportive as possible.”

He didn’t believe her.

“Ok, sure.”

“Peter.”

“What? You’re going to tell me that you would honestly be friends with a queer person- be friends with me if I was... not... normal?”

She was taken aback by his tone, the word he had used, and the way he said it, felt like a weight dropping on her shoulders.

“Oh. would you… not?”

It was her turn to seem nervous.

“What?”

“Would you- stop being friends with someone for liking someone that they… I don’t know… shouldn’t... would be the word I guess?”

Why, in this situation, was she nervous? Oh. His fear was replaced with guilt.

“No.”

“Ok.”

“So… are you… do you… why were you scared?”

“... Why were you?”

She expected a joke from him, something along the lines of “touché".

“Are you… gay?”

“No.”

Yeah, he didn’t believe her.

“Uh-huh”

“Really, I’m not. I’ve liked boys, but also... I've had feelings for girls. I’m not… straight. So I just want to let you know that it’s okay if you aren’t too.”

“I never s-“

She smiled at him with a bit of pity, she had been there. The self-loathing, the feeling of walking on minefields with so many people in your life.

“You are…”

She paused.

“I am… what?”

“Give me a second I’m trying to find the perfect word.”

“… Okay?”

“Wonderful.”

That was not exactly the word he was expecting. Like, at all.

“Huh?”

“That’s the word. Wait- let me start over. You gotta look me in my eyes as I say it, because it’s gonna be really poetic.”

“Uh… should I be scared?”

“No. Maybe a little. No.”

“… Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You are… wonderful.”

“Oh... Thanks?“

He looked away again, to be honest, he was a bit uncomfortable. He rarely received compliments, especially ones that seem so... genuine.

“I’m not finished, look back at me, just for a second. You are so wonderful- and I will support you as whatever you are! I want you to know that I can- I can barely even think of something you could do that would make me genuinely hate you- like… maybe if you Dahmer-ed people or like chopped up a-“

He found this was amusing, yet disturbing.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry- I just- the fact that you thought, even for a second, that I could hate you… is just-“

“I’m sorry”

“No! Stop it. Don’t be sorry.”

She stared at him expectantly.

“What do you want me to-“

“Take it back! The sorry!”

“How?”

“Say you aren’t sorry”

“N/N-“

“Peter.”

“Ok. I’m, ya know, not sorry.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be”

“You’re weird.”

“Yuh-huh. Says the most likely, from the little information I've gathered, bisexual in denial who also happens to be the fastest boy on earth who had to slow down exponentially to interact with other people who also, also, happens sitting on a roof in the dead of winter with me.”

“What’s by smexual?”

Something about the way he attempted to repeat her words must have been hilarious, he thought, because here she was, sitting in front of him, in a fit of childish giggles. He would smile if he weren't so confused.

“No- that’s not- what I said- it’s… wait!”

“What?”

“You’re tryna get me off topic!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Am not!”

“Are t- shit.”

“HAHA! Victory is a sweet dessert... wait is that even the saying? Still, I win you lose, nerd.”

“Ok, okay! go on.”

She was attempting to gather herself to give off a less jokey aura. It was half working, the "am not! are too!" argument a few moments ago made it hard for him to take her seriously, but he could tell it was important to her that he did, so he tried his best.

“You have to look at me again. just for a second.”

“I sw-”

“Just do it? Please?”

His attempt to put up a fight was thwarted by her small "please". He was pathetic.

“Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You…”

“Me… or- wait- I…”

“Are w-“

“Wonderful, yeah yeah. just get to the n-”

“No.”

“… No?”

“When you say it it doesn’t encapsulate it. It sounds silly.”

“Ok little miss ‘you art thou wonderful’, how would you have me say it?”

“I am you wonderful?”

“What?”

“You called me ‘little miss you are you wonderful’ what does that-“

“Ok! Would you just- shut up and call me wonderful one more time, please?”

She looked at him and blinked. That sentence surely came off as less ironic than intended.

“You are wonderful.”

She grabbed his face, in a half-joking manner. Her grab smushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh a bit when she did it. Even though it was clearly a bit, he was still flustered.

“W-“

She shook him a bit.

"Shut up 'cause I'm about to say some beautiful and true shit. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are absolutely, unchangingly, and irrevocably wonderful and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, Maximoff.”

After saying what she would (in 40 years or so) recall as a painfully John Green-ish statement in her blunt and matter-of-fact manner, she let go of her semi-ironic hold on his pink cheeks. Were his cheeks pink because it was absolutely freezing, or because his heart was beating faster than he had ever (and would ever, mind you) run, you ask? No comment.

“Wow.”

“Wow what.”

“You do say it better than I do.”

“Did you like how I stressed different parts of the sentence each time? I thought that was a nice detail.”

“Wow.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Wow.”

Did his voice just... break a little?

“Peter?”

“Uh- yeah?”

Was he a little... sniffle-y? She was now very concerned.

“Are you okay?!”

“Oh- um... yeah!”

No! No he was clearly not! He was sniffling!

“Really? 'Cause, you don't seem it.”

“It’s just- I just- wow.”

“Wow, what!?”

“That was just- uh-"

“Just what? It really wasn't that fancy, you seem much too impressed with me. Oh my God, was it terrible?”

“I mean it was really corny but w-“

“I swear to God if you say 'wow' one more time I may have to add ‘use of the word wow too much’ to the list of things that could make me hate you. Right next to the Dahmer stuff. That was a joke. Your use of the word wow is only mildly perturbing. Sorry."

She was panicking "just a bit".

“I’m sorry, I mean I’m not sorry. Sorry. Shit! sorry! I mean I’m not!”

And he was absolutely... full-on crying at this point.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

He was looking down at his mittens. Not that this is important, but they were very pretty mittens.

“Look at me, you klepto.”

He didn’t.

“You know- I’ve been hearing a lot of that 'look at me' stuff from you today. I mean- the klepto part is new-“

“Peter.”

“What?!”

He peaked up at her.

“Talk to me. Please, you're kinda scaring me, let me help.”

“I’m not sad!”

“You’re crying!”

“Yeah but not from the sads!”

“… The ‘sads’?”

“You know- when you get sad! It just means being sad! I don't- that’s what Wanda calls it, not me!"

He wiped his nose, tears still running down from his puffy eyes to his reddened cheeks.

“What are you crying from?”

“No one’s ever called me wonderful before.”

“I'm sorry! I did a few minutes ago and you didn’t cry!”

“No! You can't 'sorry' me if I can't 'sorry' you! And- yeah but that doesn’t count!”

“Why?”

“Because it only felt big when you said it the certain way!”

“What way!?”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks-“

“I'm sorry about that by the way I was j-“

“No! It’s really ok! Do it whenever! I mean don’t do it whene- shut up!”

“I’m not even talking! You're the one talking!”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks, and you go: you are wonderful.”

“Yeah???”

“No one ever called me that before!”

"Peter, I- well- they- they should! They should! More often! Then the amount that it happens now! I think. In my opinion."

"Or really looked at me like that!”

“Looked at you like what, Peter?”

“Like I was somethin’!”

“Well, you are… ‘somethin'! Whatever that means! And- I think you deserve to be looked at as such!”

“See?”

“What!?”

“You just-“

A strangled sob escaped from his throat. He didn't know how to explain.

“Pete.”

“Ew. I hate that nickname.”

He crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler, trying to completely ignore the fact that he was an emotional wreck.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

She opened her arms and gestured for him to come closer. He was hesitant at first- but gave up all the reasons he shouldn't move to be closer to her in exchange for the promise of comfort she was offering him. He crawled over to her and curled up in her arms. The way she held him made him want to cry more. Who does she think she is- holding him like he was worth holding? With her chin sitting on top of his hair? Letting him do that gross cry sob with the spit and the snot into her only winter coat? Rocking him, and shushing him, and petting his stupid, silver hair? She was warm, too! The audacity of this woman.

When Erik brought Charles into his office to grab a chess set, they saw the two in the window. For a moment Charles considered telling Peter and Y/N to get off of the high platform, seeing as the two were the reasons the "no sitting on the roof" rule was enacted in the first place (neither of them were coordinated whatsoever). Charles quickly dropped this notion when he saw the look on Erik's face, Charles could tell it made him so happy to see Peter be held like that, cared for like that. Erik's expression made Charles want to both tell Erik that he is the most precious thing in the world, and make fun of him (look at Mr. Metal, gone completely soft). Possibly he could do both at the same time. But for now, he is just going to pretend he didn't see the two outside of the window, and have Erik grab them their game, go to the living room, and pretend not to have read Erik's mind when he inevitably asks him how he always manages to pick the white chess piece at "random".