#ABUSIVE SAM WINCHESTER

[queerfables]

My pettiest and most tenacious gripe with supernatural is that when Lucifer is not taking a vessel but projecting his own image of himself, he should be played by Jared Padalecki. I know that for whatever mysterious reason they wanted Mark Pellegrino back but I just think this was a huge missed opportunity.

Lucifer considers Sam's body his rightful vessel, as much his own body as it ever was Sam's. In the cage he should have presented himself this way when he wasn't actively possessing Sam, and Sam's hallucinations should have been of his own cruel smirk. It's consistent with Lucifer's characterisation, his objectification of and entitlement to Sam. And it's impact on Sam would be so powerful.

After Lucifer, he avoids mirrors. Looks away from the impala's night-darkened windows lest he catch his reflection. His stomach turns at old photos of himself. He doesn't have many, but he's held onto some of his family. In one with Dean, his arm is slung easily around his brother's shoulder, both of them with beers in hand and matching smiles. It's a rare memory of peace, an image he's treasured for years, and when he looks at it now he feels panic crawling up his throat. He grits his teeth to hold back the snarl of "get away from him". He never looks at his hands any more, when he changes the car's oil or cleans the guns. He touches other people as little as possible. Everything's different. His body makes him an invader in his own life. He was born unclean, a soul tainted from the start, but now he looks into his eyes and sees a monster.

[anassemblageofpassions]

The thing abt john winchester is that he is too complex for the majority of the spn fandom and for a good portion of the writers on the show too.

Because at his core john is about love over everything else. When he looks up at his sons (yes, up, the fact that they’re both taller than him>>>>>), there is love seeping achingly from every single pore of his being even as he abuses them, as he destroys their souls beyond belief. He does it all entirely out of love. And he is so, so wrong for it. A part of him knows it. But he wants to keep dean alive, and he wants to keep Sam pure. And he loves them so much. And he damages them so horribly. John Winchester is the foundation upon which they are both built, they only become more of what he made them as the series goes on. Sam stops fighting it, Dean continues to mold into his image no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

Hell puts them both on steroids, but their individual trauma responses that influence this are the foundations that John built into them. No wonder azazel wanted sam to win so badly. John Winchester crafted his sons into alastair and Lucifer’s ideal victims, respectively, and dean was a better (worse) john than John ever was. John held out in hell. Dean acquiesced to his abuser despite all of his efforts to fight him, and he’s never been the same since.

Sam fought like hell, and he fought destiny, but at his core, he did what John always wanted him to by doing what dean wanted him to do, and then he stops fighting at all, loses the fire he showed john in adolescence that john immediately notices when he returns in s14.

And the sad thing is. They filled their roles so well that John is saddened by what they’ve become. He didn’t want dean to break. He didn’t want Sam to be dimmed. He’s sad to see what Sam is like in s14. In the process of recovering his wife, he ensured he would mold his sons into what he wanted them to be, and when he got what he wanted, he was devastated.

John Winchester is so driven by love and grief and he’s so filled to the brim with both that it’s painful to watch him on screen because he destroyed his family because of it. And he wanted this all along but he didn’t realize what he’d have to give up to get it.

[flowersintheimpala69]

Idk how sam keeps it together cuz personally id kms if my brotherhusband was always telling me im too violent too gentle too cold too sensitive too too much of a pansy a freak an abomination and that he loves me so much and all he wants is for me to be happy yet he hits me more often than not but it’s my fault because i fucked up and I let myself get manipulated again and it’s my fault for getting violated and that he can barely look at me I disgust him sm but if I die he’ll kill himself to be with me like how does sam handle all that

[latenightwincest]

The face Sam makes when Dean is using him and he relucantly gives in and buries his face into his pillow like the pillow princess she is

[opheliasam]

god he (dean) used to be so different my chest hurts

[ladylightning]

the way the absence of john winchester haunt sam and dean in ways that are more real than any ghost they have ever faced. the way john echoes so loudly in the narrative even in episodes he’s not mentioned, in seasons where he never appears. the way john possesses dean when he’s angry and sam when he’s grieving. the way john is the one true god of the narrative, the absent father who does not answer prayers or phone calls. the righteous man who does not break in hell but breaks down and hands his child a gun. john and the memory of his holy mary. john the prophet and his sacred text. john and his prodigal son that he knows has to die. 

[panicroomsammy]

Supernatural 6.7, 4.21, 5.14, 6.6, 6.11 & Succession 1.8

[homehauntsyou]

Day Six (May 1st): Autonomy / Abuse / Trauma "Cherry Wine" by Hozier // 04x04 / 02x03 / 01x01 / 09x01 / 06x06 / 04x01 / 11x17 / 08x23 / 10x23

[stay-pos-cos]

I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

[wormieapple]

please understand that i will never and can never condone John Winchester’s actions but some of y’all really don’t understand what “he did the best he could” means.

he neglected and at the very least emotionally abused his kids, and there’s a pretty good argument that he might’ve physically abused them as well. he isolated them, prevented them from forming any lasting relationships outside of immediate family, left them alone for days if not weeks on end with firearms and very little food. And that’s not even the half of it. and everything he did was a manifestation of grief and drive to protect his family. which does not in the slightest justify how he treated sam and dean, but it does lay out his morals and motives pretty clearly.

He loves his kids, he really does. and while struggling to deal with his own trauma he was doing everything he could in his mind to keep them safe. but that doesn’t make his best enough, not by a long shot. that doesn’t even make his best efforts good efforts. at the end of the day he abused his kids and royally fucked up their ability to cope with their own grief and trauma in ways that i cannot touch with a 10ft pole rn or i’ll be writing 57 essays right here and now.

and again i hate john just as much as the next person but he did not set out to abuse his kids. he didn’t have nefarious intentions when it came to how he raised his kids. he was a good person who turned into an abusive asshole due to grief, paranoia, and alcoholism. and it makes perfect sense that sam and dean still love him even if they recognize the damage he did to them. because they also know how hard their dad tried, and they’ve said as much several times. and i get it cause that’s how i grew up. my dad did everything he could despite his grief, despite his depression, despite working 14 hour days in poverty and homelessness, and he still neglected and emotionally abused me. not because he was a bad person, but because he had no tools to deal with everything he was going through. and his best wasn’t enough, his best failed me. and i still love my dad cause not every memory was bad, and he does truly love me and my siblings. And i’m lucky in a way that sam and dean never were because my dad recognized where he failed us, owned up to what he did and tries everyday to repair the damage he did.

I have closure, and that’s something sam and dean could never really have. but they do have the clusterfuck of emotions that is he tried his best and it wasn’t enough.

[aliusfrater]

im normal

[flowersintheimpala69]

I love Dean and sam’s relationship because Dean will do something astronomically horrible to Sam and then when Sam finds out deans dosent apologize to sam and instead goes into an emo self hating spiel like “I’m the worst 😞😞😞 I’m horrible 😞😞😞 I hate myself. We got a break up😞😞” and what he wants Sam to say is “nooo babygirl ur ass so fat don’t kys no ur the best big brother” but what sam will actually say is “yea actually what u did is pretty horrible wtf” then Dean will get angry and be like “u don’t get it Sammy I HAD to kill ur friend and allow an angel to possess you and put rat poison in ur smoothies I HAD to because it was to help u!! I’m helping u can’t u see I’m helping u ur so ungrateful!!” And so sam is iced out and disregarded for like two episodes until he eventually is like “ur right Dean u did what u had to do I’m the bad guy I’m sorry” and then Dean takes sam back cuz he can’t live without his brother-husband-girlfriend but he’ll still bring the thing up years later and use it against sam and somehow frame it to make sam look bad. Nobody is doing it like them.

[punkeropercyjackson]

'Incest is inherently complex and mature storytelling' always sends me and so does the historical significance of it as 'proof' it is.Ancient Greece is thee pedestary era because misogyny was so strong men would rather be incestous pedophiles than date women,incest as gay culture is almost ENTIERLY a white westerner thing and is frowned upon like everywhere due to the studies that proved it's familial abuse with no posibility of consent on both sides and sometimes even neither,'family members being ultra intimate/intense if they're the same gender is coded incest' is literal Gay Panic propaganda,m/f incest is always just dudebro fantasies that violently misogynizes the girl in it,a lot of incest shippers and incestplayers are simply only children and therefore don't really understand sibling dynamics OR middle/high schoolers who were exposed to incest shipping online through their fandoms and think they're smartypants edgelords that understand REAL drama only they're tragically just grooming victims and i could go on!It's not 'discrimination' to be anti-incest even in fiction and the bedroom,it's having a brain and care for other people!There's countless ways to tell a dark and even bleak story without involving positively potrayed incest,ESPECIALLY if it's just for porn and it's no longer just a private bedroom thing when you blog about it in PUBLIC tags that ANYONE can find and the social media account creation age is 13,NOT 18+ so watch yourselves.Curation of your experience applies to you too and ageism applies to the minors you bully for being triggered over incest more than it does you seeing as you actually have power over them,online AND systematically.Kill the cop in your head-They don't think incest is actually bad either and that's why black people invented acab

[opheliasam]

sam winchester + being loved captivity

Reassurance to Sierra in High School—Sierra Demulder / For Your Own Good—Lean Horlick / A Self-Portrait in Letters—Anne Sexton / Ask Polly—Heather Havrilesky

[inbredbrotherhood]

The way Sam sits up when Henriksen alludes to the possibility of John having molested Dean at some point is so telling. Not outright saying that John actually did do something to either of them but following along with the running undertone of CSA being a recurring trauma that Sam and Dean have both possibly experienced at the hands of their father — Dean more than Sam, however. (Sam tends to be implicated to have been molested by Dean at some point, enough that Dean holds some sort of mental power over him rather than an outright acknowledgement that both of them would be complicit in an incestuous relationship).

Also, side note: Dean is more visibly upset about being separated from Sam the he is by the accusation. He makes an expression more associated with pain than anger, but never looks disgusted by the obvious attempt to rile him as Dean is known, by Henriksen at this point, to attempt to defend his perceived innocence.

[sunbleachedf4wn]

the amount of times sam is just like. yeah ok dean hit me to get it out of your system. it's ok i can take it. i really want you to.

that is true love right there. ❤️