#ABSOLUTELY GENIUS PUNS

[leclercsbf]

scuderiaferrari ciao leclerc and ciaolos sainz

[otaku553]

Remember when I said I was cooking a Really self indulgent au?

Here it is! In which Ace picks up a different shipwrecked masked aspiring adventure-novelist on Sixis :)

Spade Pirates’ First Mate Sabo AU

Except Sabo and Ace both don’t realize it’s each other because Sabo still has amnesia and Ace can’t recognize Sabo after 7 years because of the mask

This came from the writing prompt someone gave me of Sabo and Deuce interaction and once I got thinking about them I was like. There’s too many parallels. And couldn’t stop thinking about it

In this AU Sabo doesn’t get saved by Dragon, washes up onshore on Goa before he dies, and survives to set sail again a week or so later, but still has amnesia. Realizing that sailing alone as a ten year old is pretty unfeasible though, he stops sailing after the first few islands and lives as a feral forest child on his own for the next seven years until he feels ready and strong enough to try again.

He chooses his own name, Tage (pronounced taj), based on the assumption that Sabo is his last name and his belongings are too ruined to read his given name :) credit to whery for the name pun idea it’s absolutely genius

I might do some short comics for this if I ever get around to it but for now it’s just a loose collection of ideas!

[babybluebanshee]

Herbert West is the guy of all time. He’s autistic. He’s a master manipulator. He’s a misogynist. He has particular contempt for a wife beater. He’s committed several felonies and still somehow manages to get his medical license. He believes in academic integrity. He makes puns. He drinks Diet Coke. He made his best friend a sandwich when he went into shock. He may or may not have killed his best friend’s cat. He’s gay coded. He’s ace coded. He’s trans coded. He’s sopping wet cat labeled “a project” by shelter staff coded. He’s a genius scientist who’s created a goop that brings the dead back to life as violent berserkers, and is confused every single time his goop brings people back to life as violent berserkers. He cheats death twice and it’s never explained how, in the movie franchise about literally bringing dead people back to life. Absolute icon, reigning champ of the poor little meow meow contest.

[cheqorb]

A Change of Heart.

A change in your rival's personality is be nothing serious. So, the look of longing in their eyes, the comments that seem more flirtatious than threatening, are fine, right?

FEAT. Isagi, Shidou, Kaiser

NOTES. maybe everything is oaky

Making an enemy out of ISAGI is surprisingly straightforward, considering his more laid-back personality compared to everyone else at least.

Simply just be a bit of a diva (become Kaiser 2.0). Confidently brag about how much better you are than him and he’s a bit hopeless, isn’t he? It won’t be long before he begins to get pretty irritable around you, feeling a strong urge to curse you out anytime you speak.

It’s not the ego he minds, really, but you’re just so you.

────

With a smirk, you peer over his shoulder as he struggles to catch his breath in practice. "Is that all you've got? Whatever happened to the genius on the pitch?" you taunt, wearing the smug expression he oh-so-despises.

Your shit-eating grin only widens at the sight of his furrowed brows and clenched teeth that betray his frustration, he’s so predictable, it’s almost sad!

────

Which is why he would describe it as complete and utter humiliation, when he realises he's starting to feel something beyond mere dislike towards you.

The discomfort between the two of you only worsens as he grows awkwardly silent at your blatant insults or even the mere mention of his name within earshot. Seriously, is he just ignoring you? And if/when you condescendingly pat his head, calling him a sorry excuse of a striker, he just… stands there — his face tinted a touch redder than usual.

Well, you conclude he could’ve just finished practice so he’s red because of exhaustion. Stupid Yoichi got ahead of himself in training and tired himself out. Yeah, that must be it (cue everyone visibly shaking their heads and sighing very loudly)!

────

Before your fingertips even make contact with his head, Isagi already knows it's you standing beside him. "Still not giving up, huh? Just how much do you enjoy losing anyway..." You pause.

He doesn't swat your hand away or offer a retort like he would have a few weeks prior to today. You’re confused, not having a clue as to what’s changed and your little one-sided dynamic has lasted for ages at this point. He’s trying to embarrass you by acting as if you’re not there, isn’t he?!

But then, much to your absolute shock and horror, he absentmindedly responds with, “Right. Yeah.”

With your hand still resting on his hair, you don’t even notice how he leans into your touch while you’re still processing what just happened in your mind. How sneaky!

Now, this one’s unfathomably easy. SHIDOU is someone who thrives on stirring up trouble with anything unlucky enough to catch his attention; be it a stranger bumping into him or even a dog walking off its leash.

Though, to capture his interest and earn his respect in earnest, you need to demonstrate the ability to ‘explode’ on the field but also able to play by his ‘rules’. but to truly kick off his fascination with you (pun intended), maintaining a nonchalant demeanor/keeping a distance between you two also helps. He seems like he’d be drawn to people who are on the more mysterious side of his interactions with Sae are anything to go off of.

────

Approaching with his trademark flamboyance, Shidou’s voice boomed as he made his way across the pitch. "Hey, you! That was some seriously impressive play out there!" he declares, "I mean, seriously, those moves were—”

He goes off on a tangent about cells, explosions — stuff you couldn’t be bothered to listen to.

“…Thanks,” you say with a neutral expression on your face before he tries to jump on you??? Almost breaking your nose in the process, if you hadn’t dodged in time.

────

His personality is both captivating yet a little too boisterous for anybody’s taste, and you can’t help instinctively retreating if he gets too close. Even if he is one of the few players who willingly praises you outright.

But Shidou isn't deterred by your nonchalance; if anything, it only fuels his excitement. Someone that so brilliantly fits his character, (seemingly) couldn’t care less about him. Anyways in terms of romance, he operates on a vastly different wavelength from conventional views on love. I don’t think he’s the type to recognise feelings of being flustered or the desire to shower someone with tender care and attention.

Since it is still love at the end of the day, he’s still experiences a certain pull towards you, driven by instinct rather than conscious understanding. But besides that, he remains largely oblivious/doesn’t feel the need to dig deeper into the complexity of human emotions.

Just understands being around you = more fun for him.

And unless you’re exceptionally perceptive or are somehow able to understand his underlying motives, you're likely to interpret his actions as a signal to maintain a safe distance.

────

“You’re always so hard to pin down, you know that?” Shidou calls out, watching as you continue walking — unfazed by his presence. He debates on whether or not to smash your face into the ground but then, he pauses.

A rare moment of contemplation for him.

Despite everything, there’s something undeniably exhilarating about being around you. A sense of freedom, a release from the constraints of his existence. Being with you makes him happy. It’s a thought that prompts another; how nice it’d be if you felt the same way about him… huh. Oh well.

For KAISER, it's also decently easy. Either defeat him on the soccer field or simply refuse to conform to his philosophy of everyone revolving around him; just don’t be a pushover. He’s someone who’ll gladly take any opportunity to crush someone whose ego far outweighs their abilities, but when confronted by someone with the skills to match their confidence? He becomes both intrigued and slightly irked.

Especially if they’re someone who can’t stand him (which to be fair, isn’t all that difficult) or simply wants nothing to do with him.

────

As you catch sight of a familiar head of blonde hair fading into blue entering through the doorway, you internally groan.

It’s Kaiser who saunters over, flashing his signature smirk. "Well, if it isn't my most favourite jester," he drawls, his tone dripping with arrogance. "You're looking rather defeated today. Are you finally coming to term with the fact that you'll never match my level?"

If it wasn’t clear, you don’t have much enthusiasm when it comes to whatever he says.

────

As time passes however, he’ll slowly find himself being more…involved in your life — forcing to make an appearance himself if need be.

Even noticing the small details about you. the way your eyes lit up when you seemed to figure something out, the subtle quirks that made you, you. Eventually (and I mean eventually, this will take a while), the realisation that his actions were out of love dawns on him. He’ll certainly try to deny it, brushing off the unfamiliar feelings as mere annoyance or frustration, but as he catches himself stealing glances in your direction and seeking out opportunities to be near you, he can’t help but admit defeat.

Michael Kaiser, the arrogant and self-assured soccer prodigy, had fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with some nobody.

He wants to impress you, to be the one that makes you grit your teeth out of frustration, to be the best version of himself for you to look up at. And, what began as subtle glances and fleeting touches soon evolves into more obvious displays of affection.

He finds excuses to brush against you or in close proximity of you, his hand lingering a fraction longer when shaking yours or his fingers grazing yours when passing objects. He also seems to be fond of leaning close towards you nowadays, his face mere inches from yours. It’s a lot worse if you’re visibly flustered when he does these things too.

Additionally, your pet name has been upgraded from jester to ‘liebling’…whatever that even means. must be weird if it makes his teammates raise a brow every time he says it.

────

With the match coming to an end, you mentally prepare yourself for a certain someone’s inevitable reaction to that last play of yours. What you don’t expect is for him to suddenly take out your earbud with a creepy smile on his face. Kaiser’s always weird, but this is a little outlandish even for him.

“Ich liebe dich.”

You raise a brow at whatever he said (not that you could understand of course) but judging by the others looking completely lost for words, you can only assume it’s pretty awful.

[tournament-of-ninjago]

ROUND 5 (FINALS):

THIS IS SO EXCITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA

SPREAD THIS TO EVERY CORNER OF NINJAGOBLRRRR

keep reading for propaganda!

ZANE:

he’s a triple threat! he’s cute! he’s smart! and he can kick! your! ass!

he’s an absolute genius though like most of the time he’s the one who stops his buddies (the ninja!) from doing stupid things and also he’s always the one to come up with the most logical solution (even though the ninja don’t always listen to him) and i feel like he isn’t given enough credit for this :(

also! he is very much the sweetest kindest purest nindroid (or person) you will ever find in ninjago like HOW MANY TIMES has he sacrificed himself for the sake of his friends? and he is THE! ICE! NINJA! how cool is that (pun intended)

COLE:

MASTER OF EARTH BABYYYY he’s like the strongest one there but also the kindest ones. like he’s always the one to bond with the children and the animals (cases in point rocky and little wu and krag). he could bash your head in at any given moment but he can also be the sweetest guy ever

AAAAAAAAAAAH ITS THE FINALS ITS THE FINALS WOOHOO

[its-time-to-write]

I love your writing! Can I request a Jamie tartt x reader where the reader is a famous actor or musician and it’s like the team meeting them or the media finding out? Thank you!!

I loved this! Thanks for requesting!

you know, you’ll always know me

“Jamie Tartt has been spotted around Manchester with lead singer and songwriter from band Room 17,” Isaac reads aloud. He snaps the paper shut and looks at Jamie. “Oi, when did you have time to go to Manchester?”

Jamie shrugs. “I dunno, mate, two nights ago?”

There’s a clamor of disbelief from the team throughout the locker room. 

Colin’s voice cuts through the din. “Mate, that’s a four-hour drive. You drove eight hours to hookup with a famous singer?”

Jamie grins. “No.”

Isaac: “Elaborate.”

Jamie replies, “Nope,” popping the “p” sound at the end. 

The boys chorus, “Aye, c’mon man, what the fuck,” right as Ted and Beard walk in. 

“What’s all the hubbub?” Ted asks. “Usually that level of resignation is reserved for one of my many, specially-tailored puns.”

“Jamie hooked up with someone famous,” Sam answers. 

Beard looks at Jamie. “Saw the papers. You’re way out of her league.”

Jamie puts his hands up. “That’s not what she said Tuesday night.”

“So you did hook up with her!” 

“Look-” Jamie replies, “she said I ain’t allowed to talk about it in the locker room and I ain’t allowed to tell just anybody. She likes things private and I don’t blame her because you lot are a load of animals.”

Ted makes a mock offended face while Beard shrugs like yeah, that’s true.

Will looks up, thoughtful expression on his face. “Jamie, she said no locker room talk?”

Jamie says, “Yeah, why?”

“I mean, we could just, I dunno, go… somewhere else?”

“Will, you fucking genius,” Colin says, and Isaac gets up to go shake Will’s hand while saying, “Everyone, boot room, now!”

Less than a minute later, everyone is crowded into the boot room. Including Trent, Rebecca, and Higgins, who are never ones to miss a good story. Roy is the only one not present, with a short “fuck off!” at Ted’s extended invitation. 

They’re all huddled around Jamie, whispering quietly amongst themselves until Isaac holds up a hand. 

“Alright! Jamie’s going to tell us how he managed to pull the lead singer from Room 17, and then he’s going to apologize to,” Isaac checks a note on his phone and reads, “Dani, Sam, Richard, and Jan Maas because he knew they had a crush on her, and then to Colin because that’s his favorite band and you didn’t say shit to him.”

“Eh? That ain’t fair! We all had equal opportunity, I’m just the only one who took it,” Jamie replies indignantly. 

There’s a “WHAT,” in unison from at least half the team followed by more clamoring. 

“Oi, oi!” Jamie says. “Pipe down, and I’ll tell ya.

It was when we went to that club last month. I was gettin’ drinks for me and Dani, and there was this absolutely gorgeous girl sitting at the bar, scribbling somethin’ on a napkin. I was gonna introduce meself, but right as I went to say hey, she stood up and knocked both drinks out of me hand. One got on me and the other got on her napkin and I said ‘sorry about your napkin,’ and she said ‘nah it’s shit anyway. Sorry about your shirt,’ so I said, ‘it looks better on the floor.’ Guess she liked that, ‘cause that’s where it ended up.”

“That was a month ago, Jamie,” Sam interjects. “How did you end up in the papers this morning?”

Jamie grins and sticks out his tongue. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Isaac smacks the back of his head and Jamie yelps. “Ok, ok, I’ll tell ya!”

The team crowds closer. Rebecca is farther in the back, and she’s seemed strangely uninterested this whole time, typing on her phone. 

“So. Turns out, she’s fit and funny, and she starts telling me she writes her own songs. And she say it ain’t a big deal, just something she does for fun, and I say I play football and it is a big deal, but she already knew who I was. Anyway, didn’t figure out who she was till after I asked her on a proper date, and I guess she thought that was cute or some shit. We’ve been sneakin around ever since.” Here Jamie smiles angelically. “I am cute or some shit.”

Ted, Beard, and Trent nod in assent and just before the team can bombard Jamie with questions, his phone dings then rings. Rebecca finally looks up from her phone in the back as Jamie checks his. 

You’re calling him, so he makes a pipe down motion and answers.

“Hello Jamie Tartt,” you say. “What are you doing right now?”

“Hey babe!” he replies, team saying silent oohs and making kissy faces. “Not much, just with the lads. Did you see the papers?”

You laugh. “Yes, I saw the papers. I suppose it was only a matter of time before it got out, and I know I’m a little late to the party, but you can tell the team now.”

You can hear Jamie’s smile through the phone as he says, “Thanks babe. Y’know they’re like my family.”

Even though he can’t see you, you nod. “I do know. That’s why I’m not upset that you’re in the boot room right now and have already told them everything.”

Jamie is stunned into silence as the team whispers, “what did she say, what did she say?”

“You can put me on speaker,” you say.

Jamie does and then asks, “How the fuck did you know where I was and what I was doing? Are you psychic?”

Jamie looks up around the room and Rebecca of all people catches his eye and winks as you say, “Oh, well, Rebecca Welton and I have been close for ages. She started texted me the moment she heard you were going to the boot room. She’s known about you and me since the first night.”

The room erupts into “WHATs,” and “Holy shits,” while Jamie goes to speak again. 

“Babe,” he tries, but you can’t hear him above the noise. He pushes his way through the throng and out the boot room, Rebecca patting him on the shoulder as he goes past her. 

“Babe,” he says again, “you sure you ain’t mad?”

Now he can hear your smile through the phone. “Yes, I’m absolutely positive. You could have told them sooner. And I think it’s funny that you went to the boot room to talk about it. Rebecca says it smells worse than shit.”

Jamie sighs. “Good. Good, yeah. I’m glad.”

“Actually,” you continue, “this got me out of my writing slump. I’ve been writing like crazy every time you leave. Got half an album in the works already.”

“Fuckin mental.” Jamie shakes his head. He’s great at football, sure, but your musical talent is something else.

“Jamie?” you ask hesitantly. “I- you know I- I mean-”

He cuts you off mid sentence with, “I love you.”

You’re holding your phone with both hands now. “How did you know what I was going to say?”

Jamie shrugs, then remembers you can’t see it. “Just your voice, I guess. Didn’t want you to feel awkward about it. Know we haven’t said it yet, but I do. And now that it’s out, maybe you can come down to Richmond for a proper football game, meet the lads.“

“I’d like that,” you smile. “Oh shit- my food’s burning. I’ve gotta go. I love you!”

“Love you too,” he replies. He hands up, slides his phone back into his pocket, and turns to see the entire Richmond team crowded around the boot room door, faces pressed to the glass. Jamie rolls his eyes, flips them off, and walks away, laughing. You’re going to love them. 

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Ello! I was wondering what would happen if S/O had the same personality like the others? For example, They are dating Edge and they have the same personality as him.( Basically, what if they have the same personality as the skeletons) ( All the main bois. plz add Creeper to this) Thank you! Have a good day/ night!

Undertale Sans - You mean what if you bring Papyrus' nightmare to life? Sans didn't know what to think of you at first, but then he discovered the power of doing nothing as a couple for days and now he's in love. You spend so much time on the couch that the couch has now permanently your body form embed in it. Your puns are getting worse and worse, but they're still making you laugh. You watch the worst movies on every streaming platform. You created a pile of socks to make Papyrus enraged. He even offered you a trash tornado when he proposed to you. You two could never live alone ever again.

Undertale Papyrus - He's more than happy! You two are always together, trying to motivate each other to exercise or make evil genius plans that have no chance of success. Sometimes though it can be a little difficult as you're both hiding things from each other and never confess to the other when you're not feeling well to protect the other. This means some days, you're both clearly looking down and still act like everything is fine, which can create some tension. But being very forgiving, it's usually never for long. Papyrus is a great choice.

Underswap Sans - That wouldn't work. You're both terribly stubborn and refuse to let go of an argument before you win. Except none of you want to lose, so the fight lasts forever. Added to that, you're both very independent and so will not spend that much time together as you're always busy doing something. It would end with both of you being super frustrated and arguing again and again, which is not very healthy.

Underswap Papyrus - How are you surviving? It took forever for you two to connect as... Well... You couldn't even meet the other eyes without having a panic attack for a good six months after your first encounter. And after that it's so awkward for so long. It's a surprise to everyone how you ended up together, but that happened. You're both supporting the other in their anxiety, but also feeding it somehow? The funniest part is when something spooks you. If Honey falls unconscious, you fall unconscious, and when Honey wakes up, he falls unconscious again seeing you on the floor, and it can go for a while like that. You're touch starved though, which helps to support your daily life.

Underfell Sans - That would absolutely not work. Despite both having a dark sense of humor, you also both take everything literally and spend your days offending the other lol. It usually ends with both of you screaming and insulting each other, even fighting sometimes. You're going to get on each other's nerves too quickly to enjoy living together. Also, you like motorcycles as well, but there's no way you're touching Red's motorcycle and he's ready to fight you on this lol. That's his baby, find another one!

Underfell Papyrus - If you take the definition of sassy in the dictionary, there are both your faces next to it. You're bitching on everything and everyone together, you're both condescending because you're feeding each other ego so much. You're both know really well how hot you are and live to make everyone jealous around you. Everyone hates you, and you know what? You just don't care at all! You made Edge a hundred times worse, great job!

Horrortale Sans - This is so awkward. You can't understand any of the other reactions and so most of the time, you're both silent. Staring at each other. Not saying anything. It's a mystery why you're still together at this point as you're both encouraging the other to be suspicious of the other. Maybe you're not the right match. Except maybe when you both have zoomies in the woods at the same time. Zoomies are fun.

Horrortale Papyrus - It would work just fine and actually it might be a good thing for Willow. Because you're so aware of the other's flaws, you try to make things better and encourage the other to be better. Willow is finally learning to accept his body after so long, and he's opening up a little more because he feels like he can talk to you. It's really a good thing for both of you.

Swapfell Sans - You get along really well, always looking so ridiculously serious and act like epic villains when you're actually good people. You have a business together, you drink expensive coffee together, you're very careful about what the other is wearing to match clothes... And you're both trying to throw the other so he gets eaten first in case of supernatural danger! The perfect couple.

Swapfell Papyrus - It's the worst possible timeline. Your prank war turned so wrong already and yet none of you gave up yet. You're a menace to everyone around you. Everyone is fleeing around you when you show up together somewhere. Please someone does something and stop you before it's too late.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Oh, it would maybe work for ten seconds and then you would try to kill each other. There can only be one Wine around and Wine will make sure it's him. You're too similar, it's scary and he sees you as a threat to his gigantic ego. Now run.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You're both hiding in a cave or something, clinging to the other all day. The only thing you're worried about is who is going to move to fetch the food when you're hungry. Because you're both very comfy right now and there's no way in hell you're doing it. That's going to be a long day.

[flowersforzoe11]

Alex Rider S1E8 Review

wrapping up season one before my life gets quite busy again (we'll see when the next one of these is posted heh)

-god, Tom is just so *nice.* making him a bigger factor is such a high point in this show

-a thought that just occured to me. Jones is far too normal. where is my off-putting peppermint queen

-crawley is portrayed so perfectly. honestly such an understated character but Ace Bhatti is perfect (also go Kyra telling him to shut up, iconic)

-KYRA YOU SON OF A BITCH STEALING THE CARD FROM CRAWLEY WAS GENIUS (another one of those scenes that really fits the books, vibe-wise)

-omg the washer?? SO CUTE I CANNOT

-kyra do NOT make me cry on main I REPEAT DO NOT

-i love yassen with every cell in my body but what an anticlimactic death scene for greif (society if we got the greif death pun). *however* yassen walking away from the car is ice cold and goes absolutely crazy

-GOD the john rider lore drop this early goes craaaaazy

-OMG THE MOUTHWASH CALLBACK YES SO GOOD

-julius greif is so creepy i'm obsessed

-SPEECHLESS. the clone fight scene and the aftermath?? so cool. like it's so off the book (weird mix of Point Blanc and Scorpia Rising) but i don't even care right now because that was incredible (the devil works hard, but Yassen Gregorovich works harder)

-tom wearing a shirt that says "the book was better" is so fucking funny to me (it's true). biblically accurate alex rider.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and with that, i've finished season 1!

just some overarching thoughts:

-biggest strength of this show vs the books is that we get to see things from multiple POVs instead of Alex's limited one

-love love love how Alex has such a good support system in this show

-the tone shift between the books and show is so interesting. the books are way darker imo which is crazy bc they were actually marketed towards children while the show skews older i think. like, we barely get the level of manipulation from Blunt in the show and the Julius Greif death and honestly clone fight were way toned down. just some observations i had throughout (i think by this point in the books, Alex had killed 2 people and set his clone on fire which is crazy)

but anyways! as always, lmk your thughts and i'll see you soon for season 2! :salute:

[whothecrappadoodlecares]

So it may just be me and my personal interpretation, but one thing that absolutely infuriates me is the "Cardan is a genius for his banishment plan and Jude did a dumb dumb by not returning" idea that some readers have.

Because that plan, as it was, would only work if, and only if, Jude was fae.

In fact, Jude even thinks about pardoning herself, and how that would not work (given the current situation as she knows it).

(I will illustrate my points with extracts of Queen of Nothing (QoN), and The Wicked King (TWK) of the Folk of the Air series by Holly Black)

recap: the plan was to exile Jude, and have her return via her pardoning herself a bit later when the coast was clear (lol unintentional sea pun) of the wrath of the Undersea disturbing negotiations.

"I exile Jude Duarte to the mortal world. Until and unless she is pardoned by the crown. (...) Meaning by the King of Faerie. Or it's queen. You could have returned anytime you wanted." (QoN chap 18)

Here is where the issue lies. Jude is High Queen of Elfhame, but has literally no way to prove it. She doesn't have the powers conferred to her as queen yet, she doesn't have the trust of the people, and she doesn't have the magical inability to lie that the fae have.

Now if Cardan had proclaimed her queen, she could, but he didn't. In fact, when he first exiles her, she proclaims that he can't do that on account of her being queen, which no one believes:

"But I am the Queen of Faerie," I shout, and for a moment, there is silence. Then everyone around me begins the laugh. (...) "Deny it, then," I yell. "Deny me!" He cannot, of course, so he does not. (TWK chap 30)

Which leads to Jude seeing through the plan and pushing it away because she could not trust Cardan to do what would be needed for it:

It occurs to me that maybe he made a mistake with that phrasing. Maybe I can pardon myself. But then I remember when I insisted I was the Queen of Faerie, and the guards laughed. Cardan didn't need to deny me. He only had to say nothing. And if I pardoned myself, he would only have to say nothing again. (QoN chap 6)

Meaning for her to actually pardon herself, she would have needed to illegally enter Faerie, not get caught, get into presence of Cadan so he could confirm the claim she is rightful queen, and then pardon herself publicly. Of course many of those steps are dangerous, and she has no reason trust Cardan.

If at any point she was caught in Faerie before being pardoned and confirmed queen by Cardan, well, it pretty much almost happens in the book.

"Clap her in chains," says Randalin. Never have I so wished there was a way for me to show I was telling the truth. But there isn't. No oath of mine carries any weight. (QoN chap 16)

The only thing that stops them from trying to arrest or kill her?

"Whatever do you mean?" Randalin says. "She's-" "She is my wife," Cardan says, his voice carrying over the crowd. "The rightful High Queen of Elfhame. And most definitely not in exile." (QoN chap 16)

Cardan even seems to be aware of it at one point (a couple hours before he names her queen in fact):

"Since you're mortal, Jude, I cannot hold you to your promises . But you can hold me to mine: I guarantee you safe passage. Come back to Elfhame with me and I will give you the means to end your exile." (QoN chap 13)

Okay, so the plan was flawed, but why make it then?

"Let me remind you that I didn't know you'd murdered my brother, the ambassador to the Undersea, until that very morning," he says. "My plans were made in haste. And perhaps I was a little annoyed. I thought it would pacify Queen Orlagh, at least until all promises were finalized in the treaty. By the time you guessed the answer, the negotiations would be over." (QoN chap 18)

So we get the entire picture: the entire thing was a hastily made plan with expected flaws (Cardan's lack of undertanding of the treatment of mortals and the consequences thereof on Jude's decisions), born from the miscommunication and lack of communication between them, that ultimately worked, only with a couple hiccups.

It makes sense to their characters, to where they are in their character growth, individually and as a couple, to their understanding of each other.

Jude, who has figured out, manipulated, and maneuvered entire coups to take the throne and subsequently took one of the highest political positions did not suddenly become an idiot ignorant of political maneuvering. And Cardan, who did not expect, want, or even took over the functions of the throne if he didn't absolutely have to, did not suddenly become a political genius.

Instead, Jude, who often works alone, trusts only herself, and consequently does not report everything to Cardan, accidentally put him in a difficult position, and Candan, who has yet to really work with Jude and take into account her limitations and differences, did not take them into consideration in the plan he had to come up with on the fly. And then the complete lack of communication (and trust) aggravated the problem.

Lo and behold, what happens after their reunion? They start working together, communicating better, and developing trust.

Character development stemming from an incident caused and aggravated from their flaws. Aka good storytelling.

I.e. when the political fantasy book with a sprinkle of romance in the background actually brings the romance to the foreground and starts working on the couple.

This is of course, my own interpretation at the end of the day.

[muppetydyke]

see the THING IS. The muppets are cheesy and kitschy and earnest in a simple way. They’re about being a group of freaks that found where they belong with each other. Yes, Miss Piggy is glamorous and sassy but it feels wrong to see her in a mansion alone instead of a dressing room that is under threat of siege at any moment. Kermit is easy to fluster and is prone to wiggly armed fits of rage when appropriate. The humor isn’t sarcastic marvel style quips, it’s really bad puns and exaggerated slapstick with a couple of absolutely genius puns tossed in. They need to be together. They’re a family. A really lame, kitschy, earnestly weird family.

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #281

Submission 918

Death note the musical is the only good form of death note media

I watched all of the anime and read some of the manga but I really wasn’t that into it. Like, yeah it’s an interesting idea and there are some cool themes, but I didn’t care about any of the characters and didn’t really understand all the fuss.

But then I found out that there was a musical. I am 10x more interested if there is a catchy song that drives the plot forward and death note the musical has plenty of those. Immediately with “where is the justice” Light becomes a way more interesting character, he has a point about how messed up the justice system can be and is so charismatic he gets his whole class singing along with him. He isn’t just some teen genius who is super full of himself, he know how to get people on his side and seeing this decline from genuine questions about how we handle crime to “I am god, I am justice, I am the only person who can fix the world”, it is very good. Speaking of this decline, “hurricane” is the perfect song to show this, he starts of unsure not believing what happen and by the time the bridge comes around he’s singing “I am the god of a brave new world”, what’s not to love. He’s fairly passive during the first chorus saying how the rain and wind are waiting for the hurricane, only to move onto singing “I’ll bring the rain, I’ll bring the wind” he’s accepted the he is this great power of justice he is the hurricane and can finally deal out punishment to these criminals.

I also absolutely love that Misa’s first song is like a gospel, she worships Kira like a god she would do anything for him, it is also very catchy. I like what the did with Misa’s character in the musical she feels so much more interesting. Especially in “borrowed time”.

Not to mention how sad some of the songs are, “when love comes” is absolutely devastating.

What is the most important thing the anime/manga is missing though?

Puns.

A good pun is always appreciated, so the fact that there are multiple Light puns is very pleasing.

The “bends how Light refracts” in “Honour bound” works on so many levels, so good.

I don’t really know how to put it into worlds, but the musical is just much more interesting. People should listen to the it.

.Propaganda is always encouraged!

And Rem-ember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[adhd-coyote]

The next batch of ocs to be formally introduced!! It's Corries this time!! I limited myself to just ten, though I've got about 20 Corries total (the rest'll be introduced gradually later)

@whiskygoldwings @grackle-draws @thivell (if anyone else would like to be tagged for future ones just lemme know :3)

Blush

Any pronouns

Named after their silver tongue and how easily he makes others turn red as Corrie paint

Soft, sultry, and oh-so-sweet. But can and will play rough, if you ask nicely ;3

Firefly

She/Her

Medic

The best big sister

Sweetest person you'll ever meet. Gives the best hugs and forehead kisses, and always knows just what to say to soothe a distressed vod.

A calm, steady presence who seems to never get stressed or overwhelmed. She does, but she's very good at hiding it and saving any crying sessions for when she's alone.

Mouse

He/Him

Shy, quiet baby

Hates having his helmet off outside Corrie HQ- he panics if his hair is visible

Loves pancakes

Doesn't like loud noises

An amazing pilot, but doesn't get to fly since he's stuck on Coruscant

Trot

He/Him

Fox's adopted ad and office assistant

Clever as his buir, and just as much of a little shit, though his tooka eyes are so good you’d never guess

Was named by Thorn, because 1) He's always trotting after Fox and 2) Foxtrot- it's a pun

Dating Spider from the 404th (Krell's battalion- to be introduced later)

Dahvi

He/Him

Married to Kas

Has a bite to match his bark and his bark is very loud

Will fight anyone that provokes him; Kas has to hold him back sometimes

Kas

He/Him

Married to Dahvi

A hunter. He loves a good chase

Blunt and unafraid to talk shit, but knows when it’s best to keep his mouth shut

If needed, will make himself a target to take the focus away from a vod

Sparks

He/Him

Skilled with tech and slicing

An idiot, but somehow also a genius

Fidgety and talkative

Rabbit

They/He (Gender fluctuates between masc and enby)

Bouncy and excitable, when they aren't a bundle of anxiety

Loves caff

Hair is dyed

Chatterbox

He/Him

Will not. Stop. Talking.

This man can chatter for two hours straight about absolutely nothing

Talks with his hands

Not a trained medic but decent at field medicine

Shortstack

He/Him

A bit shorter than all of his vode

Ready to throw down at all times, likes to go for the knees

Fights dirty

Feel free to send in any questions, I'm always happy to answer asks!!

I now have an oc masterlist!

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I strongly stand by my belief that Declan has a v warped perception of the gangsey dynamics, like I think in his mind Ronan is the lynchpin (pun intended) in the Gansey-Ronan-Adam friendship and Adam and Gansey wouldn’t be friends if it weren’t for Ronan. So I propose to you post Greywaren when Declan is trying to stage an intervention to get Ronan to break up with Adam post witnessing comagate without a lot of context, he tries to approach Gansey to get him to side with him in said intervention. And Gansey is just furious that Declan would badmouth Adam to him.

(like he of course has some questions and concerns about comagate and is internally also like dammit Adam I told him not to mess with his head and you do this :/ again missing context since neither Adam nor Ronan have told him about this yet. But like, He can question/be concerned / annoyed about that Declan has No Right as far as he’s concerned). So basically Gansey is gives a whole monologue of everything he has ever disliked about Declan includes the word manwhore and many others, talks about how Adam is an amazing best friend and Declan wouldn’t know how to be or have friends so he’s not surprised he can’t recognize the absolute Gem of a human that is Adam Parrish, genius, prince among men etc. etc. and this of course leads to an Extremely Lengthy monologue about everything that makes Adam a wonderful person Declan should be blessed to have dating his brother and it inevitably goes to some homoerotic places especially when Gansey speaks at length about what a perfect boyfriend Adam would be hypothetically and starts complimenting his dreamy blue eyes and fine bones features… and then he leaves Declan completely stunned and now on top of everything else worried about how he’s going to council Ronan through it if Gansey and Adam have an affair which he can now see clearly in his minds eye as something to watch out for.

[sloowoorants]

Thoughts After Watching Hannibal

About two months ago, I saw some Hannibal fan art on Twitter. It looked pretty cool, and I just so happened to have some free time, so I thought: why not watch the show? It's just a normal crime thriller, right?

I expected the type of show that's relatively light yet still intriguing, filled with sarcastic humor, starring a typical grumpy-but-genius protagonist. (This is vaguely the type of show that I’m generally into: Inside Job, Sherlock, House, Suits, Mr. Robot….)

I was so, so wrong.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the bat-shit crazy fever dream of a show that Hannibal is: bizarrely artistic gore, incessant cannibalism puns, completely unpredictable romantic subplots, torturous sex scenes that feel like angry acid trips, a multitude of absolutely unhinged psychiatric conduct, esoteric cryptic dialogue which require five google searches and a whole thesaurus to understand, two lesbian murderers "milking" a guy for his sperm to inherent his family heirloom, long scenes of intense and unabashed eye-sex, clumps of dog fur sticking to sweaty bed sheets…and a literal fucking social worker crawling out of a horse, alive and breathing and everything, covered in whatever acrid substances come from a horse uterus.

I ended up watching all of Hannibal in a week, hastily devouring it in just a few sittings.

In no way am I a professional film analyst or critic, but after having stayed up for nights on end, every single one of them spent under my blanket binging episodes until devilish hours of dawn (and barely comprehending the plot from the sheer speed I was consuming the show at, but also from sleep deprivation), I have cultivated a skull full of thoughts on this blessed masterpiece, and I need to rant about it. Which is exactly what this post is.

I am going to separate this ranty-meta-ish thing (I think a “meta” is what it’s called? I’m not sure, I don’t use Tumblr a lot) into two parts: one, about the representation of morality in the show, and two, about the intimacy between Will and Hannibal. It’s not super well written, my grammar is a bit iffy, but I hope you still enjoy reading this, and remember to take everything I say with a grain of salt. After all, I am just some guy with unrestricted internet access, a keyboard, and a little too much passion for the media I love :)

Part One: Hannibal Lecter’s Morality

Hannibal loves art. There is no episode in the entire show where he doesn’t reference some artistic thing—He plays the piano, he plays the theremin, he frequents the opera, he draws, and he finds peace at the birthplace of the Renaissance, Florence. His love for art is why he kills, he transforms people he considers to be “inferior” and “ugly” and elevates them into art. He is acting out his own sense of justice, creating meaning from the meaningless.

In a way, he must have a certain degree of respect for his victims to do what he does. He could have just killed people and disposed of their body in a dumpster, but that’s not his style. Even if he doesn’t “care” about his victims in a traditional sense, there’s this unique honesty and attentive in his murders. Hannibal cares enough about his victims to make them art. And I’m not just talking about the way he displays their bodies, I’m also talking about his cooking, because a big part of art is also cuisine.

He follows a strict code of his own ethics, it’s almost like he’s acting out his “duty” to kill, to eradicate and transform the lesser “scum” of the world. To be killed by Hannibal is almost an honor, like being killed by God personally, skin to skin. Wouldn’t you feel a sense of divinity and fulfillment if God killed you with his own hands, knowing that he respects you enough to choke you himself, then turn you into an elegant display? Every kill of Hannibal’s is filled with passion – Which poses the question, does he kill out of hatred or not? When I think of violence fueled by hate, I think of sex or race based violence. But that’s not Hannibal. He kills victims he considers to be rude, yes, but is it a humiliation? Is it degradation?

This whole "elevate-swine-into-art" thing is also shown through the way that gore is generally portrayed throughout the show, and not just Hannibal’s murderers. It’s very interesting the way gore pretty in Hannibal. It’s often meticulous. It’s meaningful.

These murders are all aesthetically pleasing. For me, it creates a cognitive dissonance: on one hand, I know that these are painful, brutal murders, one the other, they’re kind of nice to look at, which makes me think—Have I ever for a second, while watching Hannibal, considered the crime scene to be beautiful? Have I ever viewed one of those scenes as art rather than gore? As an artist myself, do I understand Hannibal’s obsession with beauty? And if so, what type of person does that make me?

And I love the way this show makes us really think in Hannibal’s shoes, because of how unconventionally it portrays him as a villain. Usually, shows will provide villains with a backstory, but that doesn’t extend beyond just creating sympathy. In Hannibal, the villain is humanized. We understand him. We empathize. And what does that make of us?

Have I ever, in all seriousness, rooted for Hannibal instead of Jack Crawford? Have I ever thought someone deserved to die in the show? Have I ever looked at what Hannibal was cooking, and thought it looked delicious, despite knowing that its human flesh? Have I ever been annoyed at innocent patients of Hannibal, like Franklyn, because I viewed them from Hannibal’s perspective?

On top of that, Hannibal’s philosophy makes sense. I find myself agreeing to a lot of the things he says.

For example, this dialogue from S2e12 "Tome-Wan", when Will finds Mason Verger and Hannibal in his house, and Hannibal asks Will if he should kill or spare Mason Verger:

HANNIBAL: Murder or mercy?

WILL: There is no mercy. We make mercy, manufacture it in parts that have overgrown our basic reptile brain.

HANNIBAL: Then there is no murder. We make murder, too, it matters only to us. You know too well that you possess all the elements to make murder. Perhaps mercy, too. But murder you understand uncomfortably well.

Does Will only have the capacity for mercy because he has the capacity for murder? Does mercy only have meaning in the context of murder? Is our own compassion a reflection of our violence?

With that said, are the things that I believe to be evil still evil when I throw away my moral believes? Is morality only meaningful in my own perception? And if so, how much am I contributing to evil if I am the one judging it? Do I create the evil that I so adamantly detest? Does deciding what is murder and isn’t not murder require the ability to, and intrinsic understanding of, murder? Can the morality of life and death be so clear cut, separated into different categories?

These are the types of questions that the show makes me ask, which is part of the reason I love the show so much.

I also love how the show puts a dark turn on empathy. Empathy is way too often portrayed as one of the best traits of all time, many claim it to be the most important aspect of mankind, but Will’s empathy is what ends up making him go on a downwards spiral: He is drawn to the darkness because he can understand it. He chose to teach at the FBI academy because he gets to feel like a killer without actually killing.

It made Will miserable, being able to understand killers. It gave him all sorts of guilt and self-hatred and confliction, which was why he was so damn miserable at the start of the show. And on top of that, no one really cared about him, Alana only had a whole “professional curiosity” thing going on (yes, I know that Alana’s character is one-dimensional because Hannibal’s female characters are poorly written, but even with that in mind, I still think that a huge part of Alana’s affection towards Will was in fact just curiosity), Jack was constantly pushing Will past his limits, so the poor dude didn’t have any connections to anyone until he met Hannibal.

And after Hannibal clocks him immediately when they first meet with the whole “your  values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations” situation, Will experiences his first kill: Shooting Garet Jacob Hobbs. Ten. Times. Then he confesses to Hannibal that he liked the feeling of killing him.

But Will can’t let go of his morality, it’s the only thing he’s been able to hold on to this entire time. It’s his lifeline. He holds onto it so dearly because he needs to convince himself that he’s a good person, that he’s not a killer, and that he’s doing the right thing. Yet, he knows that letting that morality go would be so freeing. He wants to. Hannibal helps him let go of it, and we as viewers can’t help but be on Hannibal’s side, because Will’s corruption arc is so gratifying. We like it, deep down we root for it. And what does that say about our relationship with our own morality? Does our morality tie us down? Do we crave to be free?

Will’s killing style is different from Hannibal’s, though. He’s passionate, reactive, and he doesn’t care about the process of killing, or the display body (before you say “the firefly man”, I believe he was imitating Hannibal’s style instead of curating his own), as long as the person is dead. He kills them from a sense of righteousness, like a vigilante justice. Was it wrong for him to find a sense of pleasure in killing Garett Jacob Hobbs? Does finding pleasure in killing corrupt his righteousness? Is it worse to kill out of passion, or kill meticulously? Is Hannibal’s style of killing more respectful? Is Will brutal? Just because Will kills out of a more conventional moral judgement and Hannibal doesn’t, does that make him better than Hannibal?

Another way the show convolutes the concepts of good and evil is using religious symbolism.

For example, from S1e02, “Amuse-Bouche”:

HANNIBAL: Killing must feel good to God too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in His image?

WILL: Did God feel good about killing?

HANNIBAL: He felt powerful.

(Shocking that this line was from the literal second episode. This show got intense so fast.)

And Will’s quote from S3e02, “Primavera”:

WILL: God can't save any of us because it's...inelegant. Elegance is more important than suffering. That's his design.

Is God an artist? Does that justify what He does? Are we only creating taboo out of His works to comfort ourselves? What does it mean to view the world with a purely aesthetic vision?

It’s these quotes that really allow me to see from Hannibal’s perspective: To him, there is no ultimate purpose of the world, there is no end goal to achieve, just the creation of beauty, and that’s terrifying to think about. Even as an atheist, it’s hard to digest the belief that there is no purpose to anything. We spend our entire human lives looking for meaning. But Hannibal doesn’t see it that way. Life and death are just futile processes to create art, and there’s no bigger point behind it. The cycle of life is supposed to be art. In a way, he’s like the God (sounding like Hannibal here), giving people meaning by making them into art, just like how God designates meaning onto every creature he makes.

And the show has a lot of art parallels, not just with Hannibal’s murders. Here are some that I’ve noticed:

(Parallels, in order from left to right, top to bottom: Nude From Back by Picabia compared to a shot of Bedelia from the back, The Persistence of Memory by Dali compared to Will’s clock drawing, Le Double Secret by Magritte compared to how Will saw Hannibal after visual overload from light therapy, Ophelia by Millais compared to Bedelia sinking into the bathtub, Portrait of Pablo Picasso by Juan Gris compared to Will’s hallucination of himself falling apart in a mirror, Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan by Ilya Repin compared to the cliff scene.)

I’m not the only one that has noticed these. Here is cool blog that focuses on artistic references in Hannibal, they’ve also noticed some of the ones I noticed: The Art of Hannibal.

Bryan Fuller probably didn’t do these on purpose while directing. But it still unintentionally solidified this theme artistic divinity. So I think Bryan must, to some extent, understand Hannibal’s obsession with making art out of death, because of the way art is subconsciously woven into the show. I don’t know though, just food for thought.

Anyways. Will, at the end of the show, while being cradled in Hannibal’s arms, both of them covered in blood that appears black in the moonlight, says to Hannibal: “It’s beautiful.”

And all that morality fleets and becomes insignificant in the face of aesthetics.

To Hannibal, beauty is moral. To Will, morality is beautiful. Have the lines begun to blur?

Part Two: Hannibal and Wills intimacy

“For [Hannibal and Will], two people who have been wandering their whole lives through a world in which they have not really experienced any viable form of connection with another human being—because they’re two extremely unusual people—and then they meet.”

-Hugh Dancy quote from SDCC 2013

Hannibal loves will. He drew him and Will as Patroclus and Achilles. He was ready to run away with Will in S2. He surrendered himself in S3 just because Will rejected him. And lets not forget the little twitch in his face when Francis attacks will. And when this dialogue happened (S3e12, “The Number of the Beast is 666”):

WILL: Is Hannibal in love with me?

BEDELIA : Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you... ache for him?

It is my belief that Will also loves Hannibal, although I understand that it’s not as agreed upon in the fandom as Hannibal’s love is. I think Will is just a little bit more reserved with affection, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Hannibal.

But one thing is for sure—there is a lot of homoeroticism in the show:

So, whether you think the love is reciprocal or not, the show is still, to put it lightly, really gay.

Hannibal’s love for Will is dark, possessive, powerful. Will is the only one that is capable of understanding Hannibal, and Hannibal was willing to risk literally everything just for Will to connect with him. He goes to extraordinary lengths just to make Will a murderer.

But even throughout Hannibal’s ruthless manipulation, which Will eventually becomes aware of, Will still stays for Hannibal. Because deep down, Will was willing to give up his own innocence to have that connection. Because Hannibal was the only person that could really understand Will too, no one else would be able to accept his dark tendencies.

S2e02, “Sakizuke”:

WILL: I don’t know which is worse. Believing I did it, or believing that you did it and did this to me.

(I remember reading a really good post by endlessly fascinated on how Will was actually being manipulative by saying this quote. I can’t find it though. If someone finds it, please tag me!)

Will eventually grows just as obsessed with Hannibal, as Hannibal is obsessed with him. Proof: telling Jack that he wanted to run away with Hannibal, telling Hannibal that he can’t get him out of his head, and that his inner voice is starting to sound like him him, and the “where would I go?” when Hannibal tells him not to leave his side, and the “one could argue, intimately” when Chiyoh asks him how he knows Hannibal, and the “before you and after you” when Hannibal asked him where the difference between the past and the future come from…I could go on forever. Will has never felt so grounded before, not in the way when he’s with Hannibal, with him, Will can see his own reflection, and he’s never been able to see that before.

And oh, the love language between them is violence. Will tries to kill Hannibal (someone tell me how many times, I forgot), and Hannibal tries to eat Will and a plethora of other fucked up shit. But in my eyes, none of those were out of hatred. Both of them trying to murder each other is out of love, out of acceptance, and out of forgiveness.

S3e06, “Dolce”:

HANNIBAL: You dropped your forgiveness, Will.

HANNIBAL: You forgive how God forgives.

And, S3e03, “Secondo”:

BEDELIA: Betrayal and forgiveness are best seen as something akin to falling in love.

HANNIBAL: You cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love.

No one can control who they love, or who they forgive, which is why Hannibal forgives Will and stabs him in the same breath. He is forgiving, not letting go.

Will forgives Hannibal too. He forgives Hannibal way too many times, throughout all the manipulation of Hannibal. Think about just how much insanity he’s endured: drugged, gutted, encephalitis abused, hypnotized, framed for murder, a serial killer was sent after his family, had his brain literally almost eaten, and despite all that, Will still forgives Hannibal—it was not a conscious decision. We cannot control who we forgive.

If Hannibal is a fallen angel, then Will is God to him. And God is indifferent, sometimes even cruel. Like Hannibal said himself, good and evil has nothing to do with God. Will forgives Hannibal, but that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t want to hurt Hannibal; just like how Hannibal forgave Will, but still gutted him. In that moment, Will forgave indifferently, so he could get back to revenge. They both forgive like blades, they both forgive with pain.

Doesn’t God forgive through punishment? God will forgive you for your sins but you still have to go to hell, right?

Violence is a pillar of stability in their relationship, it’s how they understand each other, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, the smile on Will’s gut a permanent reminder of Hannibal’s hurt, and all of Hannibal’s scars a reminder of Will’s hurt.

I see all of their trying to kill each other is affection. Hannibal doesn’t try to eat Will because he hates Will, he tries to eat to immortalize him, to keep Will as part of him forever.

And through that violence, Hannibal helped Will let go of his morality. Will had spent forever trying to repress himself—Molly was a failed attempt to escape into normalcy. Will definitely thought about Hannibal those years Hannibal was in prison.

S3e13, “The Wrath of the Lamb”:

HANNIBAL: When life becomes maddeningly police, think about me. Think about me, Will.

Will definitely missed the hunger, the violence. We can see this though the passionate way he killed the Red Dragon. He probably held Molly’s gentle hands and desperately wanted to feel something more. To feel something dangerous. Something that could simultaneously revive and ruin him. Molly never understood him the way Hannibal did, and he will never love her the way he loves Hannibal.

He did think about Hannibal when life became maddeningly polite. He probably fantasized about what they’ve done, what they could’ve done, and the feeling of freedom when he’s with Hannibal.

And Hannibal waited for him patiently, staying exactly where he was three years ago. And when Will eventually pushed them off a cliff together, Hannibal showed no sign of resistance, and just let them fall.

“I think [Hannibal]’s feeling that embrace and that’s the first thing that he’s feeling, and even as he’s plunging into the Atlantic, he’s first and foremost thinking about the man he’s holding onto and the man who’s holding onto him.”

–Mads Mikkelsen on Hannibal’s thoughts during the final scene

Their violence is something that we as viewers may never comprehend, but we can all understand their intimacy. Isn’t it what we all want, after all, to be seen?

Anyways...

Hannibal is a great show! 10/10, would recommend. Although, the lighting kind of sucks. Bryan, if there is a season four, please make the show brighter, for the love of God.

Thanks for reading this! :)

[tournament-of-ninjago]

ROUND 4 (SEMIFINALS):

ohhhhh crap the entire semifinals is ninja vs another ninja

anyway keep reading for propaganda!

ZANE:

he’s a triple threat! he’s cute! he’s smart! and he can kick! your! ass!

he’s an absolute genius though like most of the time he’s the one who stops his buddies (the ninja!) from doing stupid things and also he’s always the one to come up with the most logical solution (even though the ninja don’t always listen to him) and i feel like he isn’t given enough credit for this :(

also! he is very much the sweetest kindest purest nindroid (or person) you will ever find in ninjago like HOW MANY TIMES has he sacrificed himself for the sake of his friends? and he is THE! ICE! NINJA! how cool is that (pun intended)

NYA:

She is THE girlboss!! You don’t get to call her “the girl ninja”, you don’t get to underestimate her, because if you do it’s a grave mistake and the last one you’ll ever make. Nya is the master of water, and the former Samurai X. even though she was the last one to join the team, she’s just as good as the rest of the ninja, sometimes even better. Aaand she’s an absolute genius.

[snurtsnurt]

Murdertime Trio & Reader Coffee Shop AU

Based and inspired very heavily by @hashileio's Cursed Coffee Shop AU, 100% definitely go check out their art, it's hella good!

So our favorite found family team ends up getting stuck. In a relatively peaceful universe but the thing is they can’t get out

Using the void as a shortcut can be tricky like that I guess

They’re tryna figure out how to get out -well, mostly Nightmare is, but still- but in the meanwhile, they’ve gotta sustain themselves here somehow

And they can’t just go around wreaking havoc cuz they kinda need to live here for a bit until they figure out how to get out -don’t spit in the well you drink from and all that

So Nightmare has the great idea of starting a cafe, cuz what better way to feed off negativity than in a customer service environment where people are coming in tired and bedraggled for their life juice? Yes truly a genius idea

Bam, now they’ve got a whole gig going on, with Killer as the cashier, Dust as the barista, and Horror as the baker in the back making pastries and whatnot, and Nightmare’s the bossman keeping things running smoothly and trying hard to find a way out of the whole conundrum in the meanwhile

One teeny problemo though

None of the “employees” are particularly good at their job

Dust hates the whole situation and puts no effort into his “job”, will fall asleep on the job, purposely misspells names, does only the bare minimum for it (probably even less)

Killer is just absolute gremlin mode, does things that scare/unnerve customers for his own amusement, always trying to annoy someone, be that a customer, or the boss, or Dust (most often Dust, if we’re being honest)

And Horror… well actually he’s pretty well behaved, good employee, great baker, its just sometimes he eats the pastries and foods that were meant for customers, but he deserves it tbh

So Nightmare decides with the way things are going (not particularly well), he’s gonna hire somebody else to keep things running smoothly, in spite of…. everything 

That’s where you come in! Tired, short-on-cash, just-quit-from-Walmart-cuz-fuck-that-place, college student

So you walk in upon see the hiring sign and Nightmare takes one look at you and the negativity rolling off you in waves and decides you’re hired

He doesn’t say that immediately though, of course, he takes a cursory glance at your resume, asks a couple questions, and then asks when you can start

So you come in for your first day of work, get the lackluster general rundown from Dust (by order of Nightmare), don’t spare a second glance for Killer cuz believe it or not you’ve seen weirder (fucking Walmart), and get introduced to Horror, who hardly even pays attention to you cuz he’s fully focused on decorating the pastries just so

All things considered, the job’s not that bad especially considering you’ve mastered the retail worker “numb-to-the-world-around-you” skill

On slow days you get to sit still and focus on homework, or just relax a lil. Nightmare aint gonna stop you, not when everyone knows you’re one of the only employees keeping this place in business (besides Horror)

Some days you get scheduled to work instead of Killer, but for whatever reason he hangs around the cafe the entire time anyway. You can’t get away from him and his chaos

Sometimes you’re target practice for his horrible puns and pickup lines. Sometimes you’re actual target practice (non lethal methods of course! nerf gun. Can’t have best employee dying!)

The only repose you get from his chaos is the short half hour when he draws surprisingly intricate art on the chalkboard early in the morning. It’s oddly satisfying to watch him create some beautiful artwork, quietly, like a normal person for once. The effect is ruined a bit when he decides to use the goop coming from his eyes (you never did figure out what that is) as finger paints on the chalkboard

He love love loves pranking you and it's horrible. You try to squirt whipped cream onto a drink and it squirts into your face cuz he somehow managed to jam the thing on purpose. When you turn to glare at him he looks away and pretends to whistle and it looks so very stupid considering he doesn’t have lips to whistle with

Some customer bitches about their order being made wrong (even though they haven’t even touched it), so after dealing with them you go to the back and ask if Horror wants it. You have now unknowingly made a lifelong ally.

You have unlocked: Free Snacks From Horror. You’re starting to like the job much more now.

One rainy day when business is so slow there’s no customers, you decide to start a bet with Dust and Killer to make the most horrendous drink combination that would still work

This is how you found out that Dust has an uncanny ability to make an amazing drink out of most anything

This is also how you found out why Killer was banned from barista privileges even though he makes killer latte art, pun intended

The “bet” kind of shifts more into a “let’s find out something that Dust can’t turn into a crazy good drink”

You never did find it partially cuz you got interrupted by someone coughKillercough causing a fire somehow

That day leads to the three of you featuring some new type of drink on the chalkboard every week cuz how could you not make Dust’s crazy cool ability profitable

You get Horror in on the action as well, and now he makes a "pastry of the week" to match Dust’s drink combo and it’s like a whole thing now

You tried to help Horror out in the back one time when y’all had run out of a certain pastry and Horror was busy decorating some other thing and you figured it shouldn’t be too hard to pull this one pan out of the oven. Horror did warn you to be careful, but… well.

You’re not allowed around the ovens anymore. Killer teases you to this day about getting burned the little shit (you’re not sure you’ll ever forget how quickly all three of them had crowded around you when you had initially shrieked from the pain)

That doesn’t stop you from trying to help out in the back once in a while though

Some days you show up a lil early cuz you wake up at an ungodly hour from having a screwed up sleep schedule, but we don’t talk about that and help Horror prepare all the doughs and creams and fruits and stuff

One time Dust came ambling by to clock in while you were kneading some dough and you were feeling particularly mischievous so you gave him a pat on the back when you greeted him (leaving a floury handprint on his jacket)

You thought he didn’t notice and that’s that, but as he came back through he gave you an uncharacteristically wide grin (which immediately set you on edge) and then he swooshed his hand over the small pile of flour on the table, flinging flour straight into your face

This of course started a flour fight between you two, with Killer joining the fray soon after cuz of course he would. Horror kept trying to dissuade the three of you from starting a war with his ingredients but ultimately he just ended up covered in flour too

The fight only broke up after Nightmare came through, giving you all a death stare. Dust and Killer immediately shifted the blame onto you (traitors)

You were sent to time out which just meant you had to take on the closing shift with Killer (truly a horrible and unjust punishment)

Truthfully though, you’re starting to quite like it here (you’d never say that out loud though, you’d never hear the end of it from Dust, and Killer would probably go out of his way to wreak even more havoc than usual)