#AAAAGGGHHHHH IT'S DONE!!!!

[six-of-ravens]

FINISHED MY SONG OF THE LIONESS REREAD!!!!

(if this makes no sense please bear with me, it's after midnight)

Overall, some parts of the series didn't hold up as well as I thought they would, but many parts did. Alanna is still my homegirl. The swordfights and sorcery and all that never fail to entertain. There is a bit more sexism than I remember, and some of the parts with the Bazhir didn't age very well, but it remains a classic.

BOOKS RANKED BASED ON HOW MUCH I LIKED THEM:

1. Lioness Rampant - I think this is the book where Pierce really hit her stride as a writer. The world seems fuller, the plot thicker, the characters more established. The pacing is a lot better, too: this book is about 100 pages longer than all the others and Pierce uses those pages well. The final battle against Roger is a little anticlimactic (though it's preceded by like four other battles) but well earned. I hated Liam for the most part, because frankly he's a shit boyfriend to Alanna, but also she dates 3 men over the series and I guess one of them had to suck for real. I did love Thom though - I think he and Raistlin cemented my love for asshole fuckup mildly, ambitiously evil wizards early on.

2. Alanna: The First Adventure - this one is kind of tied for first place. It's a shorter book, but the pacing is decent and we get all that wonderful knight school content. Extremely entertaining, and a very fun start to the series.

3. The Woman who Rides like a Man - a nice breather of a book after the events of the first two, lots of character growth for Alanna, with cool desert sorcery and fighting and all. I think this book is what really set the pattern for The Immortals and the Circle of Magic books - Pierce looooves writing kids learning magic, and she's good at it. That said, there are obviously a lot of Issues with the portrayal Bazhir (clearly based off a combo of Islamic folk and Native Americans) as violent and sexist, and Alanna and Jonathan (especially Jonathan, as the Voice) take on kinda cringe white saviour roles. It's not the most explicitly horrible thing ever but it does grate a bit.

4. In the Hand of the Goddess - well, someone had to be last. This is kind of the weird middle child in the quartet, where Alanna is in the midst of becoming a knight but there's a lot of random events that happen in that time. Most of the book is told in a series of vignettes - mainly incidents where Alanna or Jon narrowly avoid death or injury due to Duke Roger's schemes. However, they're a little too disconnected and Alanna's motivation (or lack thereof) is a little too vague until the final scene to satisfy me. The official explanation is that Roger was veiling Alanna so she just kept forgetting to report him, but we never actually see this in the story. She just builds up all these theories and is 100% certain it's him but doesn't tell anyone but Myles because she's certain no one will believe her (and why would they - at this point he's a respected noble). Idk, I just wanted more like....harmony between the ending and these vignettes I guess. Also, there's the horrible cringe subplot of everyone, including the goddess, treating Alanna like she's some frigid old hateful spinster when she's 15 and doing the normal teenage thing of going "I'll never have a boyfriend!!" I just wish some of the patronizing speech had been cut and Alanna discovered her sexuality without all that BS. Also, George is quite creepy in this one, he's quite a bit older than Alanna and she's still underage by modern terms so I didn't enjoy his attempts at romance as much as in the next book.

ANYWAY. Childhood favourites, like 8/10 will read again, just have to brace myself for the 80s-ness of certain things and remember this was the author's first series and she was still experimenting with style.

[inc0gnit0-m0de]

AAAAGGGHHHHH MY FUCKING ETSY ACCOUNT IS UNVERIFIED AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN AN EMAIL FOR IT I THOUGHT WAS MY MOM'S BUT IT TURNS OUT IT ISNT AND IM GONNA CRY IM DONE

[rphelperblog]

Percy jackson Rp meme

“I should have told you the truth from the beginning.” “Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.” “If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” Where’s the glory in repeating what others have done?” “With great power…comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” “Deadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.” “Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.” “Humans see what they want to see.” “The real world is where the monsters are.” “Life is only precious because it ends, kid.” Getting something and having the wits to use it…those are two different things. “But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword.” “Does truth have a moral?” “There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it.” “What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year.” “Sugar and caffeine. My willpower crumbled.” “Don’t feel bad, I’m usually about to die.” “Be careful of love. It’ll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong.” “People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can’t be fixed.” “There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it.” “Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.” “Tell the sun and stars hello for me.” “You must forge your own path for it to mean anything.” “The sea does not like to be restrained.” “Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies” “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.” “Survive first. Figure out crayon drawing of destiny later.” “Names have power.” “Young people don’t always do what they’re told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment.” “Being a hero doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It just means that you’re brave enough to stand up and do what’s needed.” “Lots of death, huh? Personally, I’m trying to avoid lots of death, but you guys have fun!” “But magic is neither good nor evil. It is a tool, like a knife. Is a knife evil? Only if the wielder is evil.” “It’s useless to lecture a human.” “No one can hate you with more intensity than someone who used to love you.” “I gave her my deluxe I’ll-Kill-You-Later stare.” “You might as well ask an artist to explain his art or ask a poet to explain his poem. It defeats the purpose. The meaning is only clear thorough the search.” “With great power…comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” “Does truth have a moral?” "You're not getting away from me. Never again.” “Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?” "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!” I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!” “I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!” “There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it.” "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.” “I will deny I ever said this, of course, but the gods need heroes. They always have. Otherwise we would not keep you annoying little brats around.” “she’d do the same for you.”

[thedevilsmemes]

          THE LIGHTNING THEIF ~ A SENTENCE MEME.

“look, I didn't ask to be a demigod”

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.”

“Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”

“How did you die?"

"We er...drowned in a bathtub."

 "All three of you?"

"It was a big bathtub.”

“What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?"

"I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”

“It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”

“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all.”

“Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.”

 “Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.”

 “Humans see what they want to see.”

“The real world is where the monsters are.”

“Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?"

"It only works on wild animals."

"So, it would only affect ____,"

“S/he'd also called me brave...unless s/he was talking to the catfish.”

“Where's the glory in repeating what others have done?”

“Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"

“I don't hate you."

 “Could've fooled me."

"Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay?”

 “Our parents are rivals."

 "How many reasons do you want?”

 “One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful.”

“Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift.”

 “My mom created the olive tree.”

“The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."

“They must really like olives."

 “Oh, forget it."

“Now, if s/he'd invented pizza-that I could understand.”

 “You drool when you sleep.”

 “I gave her my deluxe I'll-Kill-You-Later stare.”

 “I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera.”

“The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!”

 “I said hello to the poodle.”

 “Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.”

 “The sea does not like to be restrained.”

“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”

 “It's useless to lecture a human.”

 “Safety from what? Who's after me?"

 “Oh, nobody much,"

"Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions.”

[knockoutslasher]

I’d love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et. cerera.

The truth? My only thought was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

Book 1 done :)

[imsorryforthechaos]

Tanner's fun experience.

A story written by someone who should honestly see a therapist. Aka me.

"Hey guys come check this out! I think it's a body!" Squeaked a borderline psychotic child. His curly, dusty brown hair bounced as he excitedly poked the body bag. Piercing blue eyes filled with joy at the sight. The almost paper white skin he had clashed with the dark, metal pole be was using to poke the lifeless corpse. The boy looked like a walking skeleton.

"N-no, I don't wanna see any more d-dead things, Jasper." One scared girl stammered. Her long, unnaturally red hair covered her face as she looked down at the ground with terrified purple eyes. An older, lanky boy was passing by and heard the notoriously creepy kid picking on the innocent girl in his class again.

"Yeah you showed her a dead cat yesterday. How did you even get a dead cat into school?" The boy questioned hesitantly. Instantly regretting even talking to the younger kid. His brown eyes filled with terror and concern as he wipes his blonde bangs out of his face.

Jasper turned towards the two frightened children with a devilish, wide grin. The horrid smile got wider and wider and his teeth got sharper and sharper.

"Do you want to see where I keep my collection? Maybe you could help me add more. I could always use more trophies." Jasper stated in a stereotypical demonic child voice.

"Okay, seriously?" The "scared" little girl asks, clearly annoyed. "You are a demon, I'm guessing? Why do you have to have that stupid voice? It's so overused. Be original for once, excuse my potty mouth, but holy crap! You have obvious powers. You can surely pitch your voice different or talk in a different tone. Or are all demons boring and the same? Not to mention your complete LACK of originality in your word choices."

Jasper's jaw is firmly planted on the ground at this point. Never has anyone talked back to him and made him feel powerless. This girl surely has to be an equal. Jasper walked calmly over to the girl.

"What is your name? No one has ever made me feel powerless. You must be as strong as me. I could have a girl like yo-" Jasper was cut off by a knife made out of a demon tooth being stabbed into his stomach. It started to burn him as it was coated in holy water.

"Where did you- AAAAGGGHHHHH!" Jasper screamed in pain.

"What a waste of time, you can't even turn into a demon yet. I wanted to make a new demon tooth knife. Whatever."

Reyna takes out a very long sword from her, seemingly, tiny backpack and cuts the demon boy in two. He roars in agony. His upper and lower halves fall away from each other. Jasper tries desperately to crawl away.

"Please, I don't want to go back down there. You don't want to know what it's like. Please, let me go."

"Hm, guess you shouldn't have done something to go to hell in the first place."

Reyna stabs the sword into Jasper's head. A bright light surrounds the two halves and he explodes into light particles. Reyna sighs a breath of relief, puts her tools back in her back, and starts to walk back to class. Her stroll to class was interrupted by the cries of the older boy. Reyna turns around to see the boy wide eyed, on the ground, in the fetal position, and crying. She casually walks over to him and kneels down next to him. Her tiny arms wrap around her equally tiny legs.

"What's your name?" Reyna asks innocently.

"T-Tanner." He stutters. Still staring off, visibly traumatized.

"Last name?"

"D-D-Dent."

"Ah, the Dent family. Such a wonderful bunch of people. Loving, caring, and just genuinely good." Reyna says to herself as she takes her backpack off and takes out a notebook. She sits crisscross on the floor and takes off a pen that is resting on the notebook's binder rings and opens the book.

"What are you g-gonna do? Also, h-how do you know m-my family?" The crying boy asked in a cautious manner.

"Oh, I'm sorry here." As Reyna says her last word, she snaps and the world is then turned into a white, neverending room "I'm your... well you see... Ugh, okay, I really don't know how else to put this and I'm sorry if this freaks you out, I can assure you you're safe with me here. Okay?"

Tanner gets up off the now white floor and wipes away his tears. "Okay."

"I'm your spirit guardian. Before you ask, no, not a guardian angel, those are completely different. Spirit guardians are new because guardian angels have to protect their human from a bunch of other dumb things. Like their choices, for example. No offense." Reyna smiles sarcastically. "Also, if you're wondering what this place is, it's your soul. It's not filled with much because you are still fairly new to life. The only things that are in here are your parents, video games, and basic things that a child can love with their heart and soul. I'm also writing down your name and the experienceso your guardian angel can help you forget." Reyna further explains. "Now I need you to do something for me. I need you to say you fully trust in me."

"Why?" Tanner questions.

"I need your trust as consent. So, you're not completely crazy when you grow up. Because you will have flashbacks to when a 5 year old girl pulled a sword out of her backpack and chopped a 5 year old boy in half and then he exploded."

"Yeah, okay, I trust you."

"You put your full trust in me?"

"Yes, I put my full trust in you."

Reyna smiles and turns into a giant, gray and black monster like creature. Sharp, barbed claws attached to disgustingly, wrinkly, pale skin that looks leathery to the touch. All the skin on it is grotesquely wrinkled. "Good." She says in Danny Devito's voice.

Tanner squints in confusion at the voice and then has a sudden realization. "Wait a second, why am I in elementary school? I'm 26."

As he finishes that sentance he is hit in the stomach with an unknown, powerful force that shoots him into a wormhole.

"BRO! BRO! YOU GOOD BRO?." A worried voice echos.

"Wha-"

Tanner comes back to his senses. He is laying on his old, broken couch. He looks around to see his cluttered apartment. He smiles a tired, half smile.

"Yoooooo... dude... you will NOT believe what I saw!" Tanner says in an exhausted but excited tone. Tanner went on to explain everything he saw to his friend, Cam. Who was completely entertained at his friend's experience.

"How did I pass out anyway and how long was I out?" Tanner asks Cam.

"Oh dude as soon as the tab started hitting you ran around like Naruto and slammed your head into the table really hard. You were out for like 5 mins. It felt like forever though. I love you bro, I thought I lost you." Cam explains, getting sadder as the statement goes on. His pale, soft blue eyes brimmed with tears. Tiny bits of brown baby hairs, that aren't long enough for his low pony tail, lightly touch his face as he looks down.

"Nah, bro, I'm invincible! You're never gonna lose me, bro." Tanner yells flexing his nonexistent muscles. "Yo we should watch a movie on this!"

Both men rush to the DVD cabinet and look for the trippiest movies. They settle on Shrek and flop on the couch.

"What do you think demon girl Danny Devito was going to do?" Cam asks a little bit into the movie.

"Probably offer me girl scout cookies. She looked mean but I think she had a heart of gold." Tanner replied.

They marathon Shrek and then cry about their life until they pass out.

The End

[robinyourcreator]

80% done aaaaggghhhhh

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Rebel Assault”

*deep breath*  Winter finale... I got this...

AW SHIT WE’RE OPENING WITH X-WINGS!

Is that Mart from “Iron Squadron?!?!?!” 

*The X-Wings get into fight formation*  AAAHHHH!!!

LET’S GO!

Oh crap no opening theme!

Those anti-gun towers are hugee...

Oh my gosh this dogfight is amazing...

Take a shot every time a member of Phoenix Squadron dies

Oh crap Skerris!

“That’s not how this works!  (slams Ezra onto the backseat of the speeder) Hop on...”  Pfffttt....

Well crap those towers went down real quick

“He’s [Skerris] playing into Syndulla’s hands.  Now open fire [on both them].”  Oh my God, Thrawn!!

I didn’t know X-Wings could go upright like that!

Oh my gosh that Star Destroyer went down like a bunch of dominoes

That shot of Hera looking at the X-Wings beside her is gorgeous

Shit shit shit shit

Oh my God no

The ysalamir!

There is a deliberate shot of Thrawn looking at these things in his office and I don’t know why.

 Is Thrawn gonna interrogate Hera about her association with Ezra and Kanan since they’re Jedi?  What’s really scary is that according to Timothy Zahn, Thrawn knows about Kanan and Hera’s relationship

Even bigger question:  why the heck does Thrawn want Hera?  He knows that she’s super big in the Rebellion and that she’s an awesome pilot.  Is he gonna try and convince her to join the Chiss Ascendancy or something?

Well hi Steve Blum (random Imperial officer)!

Oh shit Rukh

Kanan’s so worried oh my God...

Just realized that it’s kind of a callback to “The Protector of Concord Dawn” and I am not happy

“We will find her [Hera], Kanan.  I promise.”  *clutches chest*  AAAAGGGHHHHH

They even play a little bit of Hera and Kanan’s theme in major after that line...

Oh hi Kath Soucie (random Lothal citizen)!

“I’m [Kanan] going back [to save Hera].  I have to do this.”  AAAAAGGGHHHHH

I swear to God, if Kanan sacrifices himself for Hera, I am gonna explode

They killed R3!

Whoa, wait, Hera’s now “General?!?!?”

The lighting in this episode is super on point here

I love how they animate Rukh.  He really is like Koba from “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”

Aaaahhhh the musical cues for Rukh are awesome as well!

*Rukh slams Hera to the ground*  Ooooohhhh!!

*Kanan almost runs into the Loth wolf* SHIT!

Kanan, you are gonna have road rash for days...

You’re gonna be fine.  Hera will kiss it and make it better.

Whoa!

“What do you want?”  “Dummeee....”  FILONI DON’T DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GONNA DO!

“I understand.  What must I do?”  WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?

The camera actually follows the Loth wolf’s head tilt as it says “Dume.”  That’s some David Fincher crap right there.

Hera made Mart freaking waltz out in front of the enemy bwahahaha

LOOK AT ME, I”M A TARGET!

Ooohh, go Mart!

*Rukh pops up behind Hera*  Oh shit!

Aaawww Chopper!

This is “Call to Action” from S1 all over again but instead of Kanan being captured it’s Hera

I don’t need these feels *chucks laptop out window after scheduling classes for the next semester*

Oh my gosh, Rukh’s tiny!

According to Pablo Hidalgo, the Noghri are like the size of Jawas.  Jawas are a little over three feet tall.  *whispers*  That’s tiny.

*Pryce stuns Hera*  AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!

“There’s nothing you could have done, but there is something I [Kanan] could do.”  Yeah, don’t freaking die!

Loth-wolf...

They play the Loth-wolf theme through the credits... Filoni...

So as a midseason finale, it went by really quick.  Like boom boom boom boom

WE GOTTA WAIT UNTIL FREAKING NEXT YEAR TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS

*externally screaming for the rest of the day*