#A filler chapter as a break from the hurt/comfort last week

[deiaiko]

#20.6 Concern

"There we go, cluck!" Gyetang exclaimed after tasting the food he and Viole cooked.

His guest, Viole, nodded approvingly after having a taste himself. "It's better."

They ended up making more dishes to be served along with the macaroni soup. Gyetang had almost forgotten how fun it was to cook with someone.

Grace and Boss came out of their room soon after Gyetang and Viole finished setting the table.

"Good afternoon," Grace greeted, trailing closely after Agni.

Viole immediately perked up and ran to get them.

"Hi, Bam." Agni smiled warmly, which Gyetang found to be a rare sight for anyone other than Grace. He filed that information for himself. "It's nice to see you again."

Viole nodded and that was that. The outgoing boy that Viole was when they cooked together was no more, replaced by silent curiosity.

As they made their way to the cafeteria, Gyetang realized that he wouldn't have noticed that anything was amiss if he didn't cross paths with Grace earlier. The way they carried themselves was not noticeably different, as if they had practiced it many times before. There were a lot of questions that were already sitting on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back, afraid that he might step out of line.

Viole, however, was brave enough to ask, "Where's your mask, Mr. Agni?"

Gyetang had seen his boss without a mask, but he saw him wearing it more often than not, so it did throw him off. Gyetang knew there was a scar that Boss hid under his makeup, yet clearly he didn't put much effort in hiding the unevenness of his eyes.

"I stored it in my pocket," Boss answered Viole without elaborating. He took a sip of the broth and hummed approvingly, "Did you help Gyetang to cook this, Bam? It tastes a little different from his usual."

"It's just as good," Grace added as he scooped another spoonful of macaroni.

Viole beamed at that and began to eat along.

Gyetang didn't bother trying to hide his glances. It was clear that they were pretending that nothing was wrong, but if this problem was concerning enough that they had to take a day off from it, his feathers couldn't help but ruffle with worry. The last time something like this happened was when his previous team suddenly disbanded. The signs were there, but he decided to ignore it, naively thinking that it'd pass as it usually did. He definitely won't let it happen again, not when this team had felt like home, not when he could help it. "Can I ask what's up with today, cluck?”

Grace and Boss looked at him, at each other, and back at him again. Grace was the one to open his mouth, but Boss interrupted him before he could utter a word. "I will tell you later when everyone has gathered."

That definitely didn't sound ominous at all. Gyetang realized he hadn't been this nervous since his last floor test, or maybe when he got scouted by Boss to join this team, or when he first set his foot on their floating ship, or when he learned that Boss was associated with the criminal organization. Okay, maybe he got nervous quite often, but that didn't mean this was any better.

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Gyetang." Boss assured him, as if he just read his mind.

Gyetang wasn't convinced, but he'd take it for now. "If you say so, cluck."

Masterlist

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[scorpsik]

Last batch of fics.

Linked in this thread

SPEAKING IN TONGUES : JJ learns Emily has a hidden talent

REPETITION : Derek and Emily get a taste of Deja-vu during a case. Post Paris.

METTLE : Emily has only been with the team for a couple of weeks - and she feels she needs to prove herself to Hotch.

LEAN ON US : The team get Em out of the office after Bailey's death.

KINDRED SPIRITS : Dave has an idea to help he and Emily with their trauma. S17.

YOU : Set a couple of days after S17 Message in a Bottle. Emily needs to talk with JJ.

FAST CAR : Em takes matters into her own hands.

BABY BLUES : When Emily holds baby Henry, it brings up old emotions.

YEAR ONE ; It is her birthday. The first one after her death.

CONFESSION : Teenage Emily confesses her pregnancy to her mother.

DEAD END : Tribute ep fic dealing with Emily's loss of Louise.

SOMETHING MISSING : 3 Chapters; Em, JJ, Penelope. Emily rethinks her life as she remembers the children she helped.

PICTURES OF YOU : Em has always had a strained relationship with her mum.

SLIP AWAY : While 'recovering' from Doyle's attack, Emily finds that she is losing herself. And she welcomes it.

OBSESSED : Post Doyle. Derek tries to reconnect with Em

CAGED : Heavy angst. Ian holds Emily prisoner.

HALF THE WORLD AWAY : Filler for ep 200

FAILURE : ML alt. Sometimes everything just goes to shit.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT : What if Em found Hankel's dogs?

PROTECTOR : The only things that keeps Emily sane is Declan.

VISITING HOURS : Dave visits Em in hospital - post ML

ECHOES : A case is too close to home for Emily - and even if she won't let herself see it, JJ does.

BRICK WALLS : Demonology epilogue.

5 TIMES EMILY THOUGHT SHE WOULD DIE ALONE + 1 TIME SHE DIDN'T : Lotsa angst

NOT ALIKE : The last person Emily wants to see after Colorado is her mom.

FATHER'S DAY : Dave isn't himself and Emily tries to find out why. CW; child loss.

WE SANG HIM A SONG : While helping Clyde on a case, Emily runs into a familiar face.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT : When Emily finds out she's pregnant at 15, security chief Hotch tries to help

TRICKS OF THE TRADE : Aftermath of Em's abduction at Scratch's hands. PTSD. Rossi + Alvez.

THE GAME : Emily travels to interview a killer on death row.

I KNOW YOU TOO WELL : Aaron knows more about Emily than she thinks. Post ML.

MAKING A DIFFERENCE : Em begins her tenure as SC

IMAGE : Em's high school photo rears it's ugly head. cw; mention of drugs.

TRIAL BY ORDEAL : CM17 Em and Dave - focus on Em's trauma

POWER : After recovering from being shot, Penelope asks Em for help

MARCH 7TH : When the date rolls around the first time, Em can't cope. (depression, angst, grief) Hotch.

SENSE : When Em finds out Penelope bedded Tyler, she loses it. Em; Derek; Penelope.

37 MINUTES TOO LATE : AU from ep 7 Seconds. TW ref child abuse/child death. Em cannot process her anger when things go wrong.

KNOTS : Dave offers Em comfort after Colorado.

SPECTRE : After Bailey's death, Emily has nightmares

I'M MORTAL : JJ confronts Emily after her heroics in saving Will

HURTS : Derek feels guilty about the events in ML

FANGURL : Humour short: Derek and Em acting like kids.

ANISEED : An old Interpol case comes back to bite Emily. 5 chapters. cw: sexual violence ch3 and canon violence. Whole BAU team. Season 4/5

BREAK AWAY : Feeling unloved at home, 9 yr old Emily runs away

STILL I CLING : An alternative version of S7 'I had a bad day' scene.

GROUNDED : Two moments where Spencer is Emily's world

EYE FOR AN EYE : Doyle arc AU. Ian's revenge involves hurting her friends. . Whole BAU team involved. tw: kidnap

WRINGER : S7E03 Emily is back and trying her best to fit in again - but Derek has a little something to ruin her day.

MELODY : Dave discovers another of Emily's secrets. Cute fic.

SETTLED DUST : s13e07; Em tries to get through to Desi - but some things can't be changed.

PUTTING BACK THE PIECES : Em and Spencer talk following Maeve's death. cw; grief.

MATERIAL GIRL : Doyle arc. Em is alone and bleeding in the basement.

BABIES AND BRUISES : JJ and Em talk after the events in Minimal Loss

POUNDING : Em has the headache from Hell and needs some TLC

A LONG TIME TO HEAL : When Jack calls Emily out of the blue, she never could have dreamed how badly he and Aaron would need her help.

NEVER ENOUGH : 12yo Em tries to get er mother's love.

Forget-Me-Not : Teen Em's parents have forgotten her birthday. Hotch hasn't. Angst and fluffiness.

Layers Of A Lie ; 3 chapters. Em's death, rebuilding and recreation. Angsty, injuries. JJ, Doyle.

[anxiousstark]

S1 06 | Co-Captain

BIG MASTERLIST | TW REWRITE

Stiles Stilinski x Reader! Half-sibling!Mccall

Word count: 2091

Warnings: Mentions drugs, child abuse, swearing (always).

A/N: I’m sorry but this is a filler chapter, an IMPORTANT one. Y/N’s past start coming back, her mom’s story is quite significant, and the mention of his dad. NEXT WEEK WE FINISH SEASON 1! THINGS START GETTING FCKING INTERESTING!

Scott had told us last night what happened to him. Peter and Derek had gone to the changing rooms, searching for him. Peter had shown him what happened to the Hale family. It was a truly sad story. Stiles told him what happened in the hospital, including what I did. But he hadn't told him that while Peter was showing him his past, I was shaking in Stiles's bedroom while he searched what creature I could be.

"What's up?" Stiles stopped the jeep next to Jackson and his car. He was accompanied by Chris Argent, someone who looked like an asshole. He was.

"Is everything okay?"

"Hey, Scott. Your friend, here, was having car trouble. We're just taking a look." He replied with a smile on his face. His blue eyes weren't warm, they were cold, transmitting uneasiness.

"There's a shop right down the street. I'm sure they have a tow truck." Scott pointed down the street. I just silently sat on the back of the jeep, observing Chris.

"Yeah. You want a ride?" Scott opened the door while Chris turned his face to look at Jackson. "Hey, come on, Jackson. You're way too pretty to be out here all by yourself." Jackson started walking towards us, and Scott came out of the car to let him in.

"Hey, boys." He turned the engine of the car on, it was working. "Told you I knew a few things about cars." Then, he went back to his car, driving away.

"What, are you following me, now?" Stiles got out of the car while I decided to stay inside, rolling the window down so I could hear them better.

"Yes, you stupid freaking idiot. You almost gave away everything, right there." Scott started screaming. Seems like his 'anger issues' were still there.

"What are you talking about?"

"He thinks you're the second beta."

"What?"

"He thinks you're me!" Scott grunted, punching Stiles's jeep. Uh oh, he touched his baby.

"Dude, my jeep."

Scott ignored his best friend and continued speaking his mind to Jackson. "I can hear your heart beating from a mile away, literally! Now he thinks that there's something wrong, and now I have to keep an eye on you so he doesn't kill you too!"

He turned to the jeep again, to hit it. But Stiles stopped him. "Okay, how about we step away from Stiles's Jeep?"

"This is your problem, not mine, okay? I didn't say anything, which means you're the one that's gonna get me killed. Okay, this is your fault." Jackson couldn't control his temper, pushing Scott against the jeep, making it tumble a little. I decided to go out, standing next to the owner of the said jeep.

"Can we stop hitting my jeep?" Scott pushed Jackson away from him. "Yo, all right, yo, guys, stop. All right?"

"When they come after you, I won't be able to protect you." His gaze landed on his best friend. "I can't protect anyone."

"Why are you looking at me?" I put my hand on his back, rubbing it to help him calm down. He had concluded that Scott couldn't protect him if he didn't have the power.

"You know, now you have to do it. Get me what I want, and I will be fine protecting myself."

"No, you won't! Just trust me. All it does is make things worse." His eyes were desperate, but Jackson didn't seem to care. "Yeah, I can run really fast now. Except half the time, I'm running away from people trying to kill me! And I can hear things like - like my girlfriend telling people that she doesn't trust me anymore right before breaking up with me. I'm not lying to you! It ruins your life."

"It ruined your life." He smiled wickedly. "You had all the power in the world, and you didn't know what to do with it. You know what it's actually like? It's like you turned 16, and someone bought you a Porsche when they should have started you out with a nice little Honda. Me? I drive a Porsche." He turned around, determined to go back to his so-loved car.

"You aren't a werewolf." I decided to speak for the first time that day. Jackson stopped on his track. "You are something. I don't know what, but you are something." I choked, it was Stiles's turn to rub my back. I wasn't human anymore, and I hadn't had enough time to sit down and talk about it with someone. "And I am too." I stepped in front of the other two boys. "You were there that night." I simpered. "Do you remember that day at school? You asked me if my wound was hurting, you told me you felt different, that you weren't the same Jackson anymore." He turned around to look at me, jaw clenched. "I told you that all that was because you were a teenager. The changes a teenager goes through, you know?"

"Are you done?" He interrupted. "Don't wanna be here anymore."

"I lied." His attention was back on me again. "I lied, Jackson. I could smell you. And you smelled like the dead." He got into the car, driving away.

Stiles grabbed the milk from the fridge, deciding to take it with himself to his room, until he saw his dad sitting on a table, documents all over it. "Whatcha doing?"

"Work."

"Anything I can help with?"

"You know, if you poured me an ounce of whiskey, that would be awfully nice." He didn't have to think it twice, grabbing a glass and the bottle of whiskey.

"Any leads?" Stiles was going to grab a document when his father slapped his hand away. "Wait. Before we get into that topic. Did you know that Melissa was going to bring Y/N?" He bit his lower lip.

Sheriff Stilinski nodded, drinking his alcohol. "An old workmate had that case. The case of Y/N McCall." Stiles waited for his father to go on. "As you know, Scott grew up without his father but seems like that man wasn't in her life neither. She only saw him a couple of times for what I know." He wrote down some information about Derek Hale. "Her mother was a disaster. My friend carried that case. He freed her from jail one time."

"Jail?" Stiles drank milk again.

"Drugs. An entire criminal record related to drugs; driving under the influence, getting into fights while high..." He coughed. "Then," Noah Stilisnki gazed at his son for the first time that night, ignoring the paper works that were on top of the table. "Child abuse." Stiles dropped the bottle, thankfully it was empty. "Y/N went to court with bruises a couple of times, nothing more than that. But still, abuse."

"Didn't they took her away? What are social services for? Didn't they protect her?" His eyebrows furrowed while he glanced at his dad, who was now looking at the documents on the table.

"They called Y/N's father to court, hoping he would take responsibility for his daughter like any father would do." Stiles's mouth was agape. "But he didn't. The judge decided that the environment wasn't the best one for a child. But, still gave an opportunity to her with the condition of going to rehab."

"Did she?" The teen asked, immersed in the story.

"No, she left Y/N on the front door of one of her friends, who was also into drugs in the past. However, that friend was clean."

"She said her mother died."

"She did." Noah stared at his son. "In jail. She died in jail. She...uhm, ended her life." Stiles was shocked. He had to talk to Scott. She wasn't there to make Scott mad, she was there because she had nobody.

"Why did she end up in jail?"

Noah shook his head. "She was on drugs, and...Uhm, she murdered someone. Then, she took her own life in jail."

Stiles could feel his heart beating loudly. He couldn't imagine how she felt.

Someone knocked on the door, and I came out of my room to see Melissa all dressed up. "Hey." She grinned at me, eyes shining with happiness. "You look beautiful." I offered her a grin, she thanked me, looking back at Scott.

"Scott! Get the door. Scott! For the love of God, please! Hey. What are you doing? Aren't you gonna invite him in?" She was like a teenager on her first date. Not surprised if we remember that she once was married to the man who put his dick on the woman that I should call mom.

I walked down the stairs when I heard Scott talking to her mom's date. He must feel strange, but I was curious to know who he was.

"I'm ready, I'm ready. Sorry again." It was Peter. Peter Hale.

"Mom."

"Yes? Sweetheart?" She was grabbing Peter's arm. I could tell she wanted to go out with him, and have a delightful night. But we all knew why Peter Hale was here. It wasn't because he had fallen in love with Melissa, or because he wanted to get to know her better. It was because of Scott and me.

"Have a good time." The door closed in our faces. "Don't say it."

I did anyway. "Are you going to let your mom go on a date with that demented psychopath?"

"Look, he told me that if I said something-" He sighed. "And what do I tell her? That her son is a teen werewolf, and that dude is-" He had difficulties breathing. "And Allison is upstairs-"

"Scott." I interrupted. "Calm down, okay?" I bit my lower lip, trying to think of something. "Give me your phone." He was confused.

"C'mon!" When he handed me his phone, I called the only person who could help me. "Stiles? Hi! Uhm, I need your help."

I explained the situation to Stiles while we followed Melissa and Peter. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

I grunted. "I wish I was." I tried to get comfortable in the passenger seat. "Here they are." I glanced at him. "What do we do now?"

"We hit."

"Uh?"

Both of us got out of the car. Melissa's face becoming red when she saw Stiles. "Oh, are you kidding me? Stiles!" Her gaze fell on me next. "Y/N?"

"Mrs. McCall?" Great acting, Stiles. "Wow, this is - this is just crazy. What a coincidence, huh?" He looked at me for a second. "I mean - I do not know what happened. You guys just came out of nowhere."

"Came out of nowhere! We were parked on the side of the road, Stiles."

"How crazy is that? I mean, we should probably call the cops, you know, do like an accident report thing." I nodded my head while grabbing Melissa's hand. Please, please.

"I don't think that's necessary." Peter interrupted, looking around.

"Are you sure? I think I'm feeling a little whiplash." He touched his neck.

"Whiplash? You hit us!"

"I don't know - there's something definitely wrong with my neck." Melissa started screaming at him, and Peter went far from us, he was probably communicating with Scott, who had followed us.

I went closer to Peter, hearing him talk about Jackson. "Don't get close to her." He turned around. smirking at me. "Be a man." I glared at him. "Melissa has nothing to do with all this. Be a man, go for the ones who have something to do with this."

He grinned. "What are you going to do, sweetheart?"

"I was not the one held against a wall with a hand on my neck, choking to death." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look intimidating.

"You don't even know how you did it." He came closer to me. "But I know-how. Don't you want to know? Don't you want to know what you are?" He tried to brush my cheek, but I slapped his hand away. "You, my dear, are very powerful. More than you think. Maybe even more than Scott. When you learn what you are and what you can do, you will be a great weapon."

"I'm a person, not a weapon."

"Aw, sweetheart." He pouted. "You aren't a person anymore, and you know it." He whispered the next thing, but of course, Scott was listening to him. "You could be stronger with me. Be part of my pack."

"She already has a pack." I hear Scott's voice in my head. How did he do that? "She is part of my pack."

[fellulahh]

Lucifer x MC x Satan Fic Part 19/???

Read Parts 1-18 here!

Another chapter???????

Don’t get too excited - this one is mostly a filler!

-

“Are you really going to start worrying about that now?” Asmo asked with a hint of sass in his voice.

“You’re right.” Satan breathed, pushing past his brother, “thank you, Asmo.”

-

Satan felt a wave of nerves flow through him as he stood outside MC’s room. Raising his hand, he clenched his fist before gently knocking on the door. As he expected, he didn’t hear an angelic voice on the other side.

‘She probably thinks I’m him...’

Sighing, Satan pushed his way through the door anyway. By now MC was laid back on her bed as she stared at the ceiling. Hearing his presence, she turned her head slowly to face him. “Come to gloat?” She sighed, assuming that Asmo had told him everything judging by the look on his face.

“No...” he whispered, hurt that she’d think such a thing, “quite the opposite actually.”

Shutting the door behind him, he walked over to the bed. As he paced, he noticed the sapphire necklace discarded on the chest of drawers besides MC’s bed. The one that she hadn’t taken off since receiving it.

As he sat on the bed beside her, he gazed sadly across her rosey cheeks. “You were right, Satan.” She sighed, “I should have listened to you. I’m sorry.”

A small smile found its way onto his face. “You just had your heart broken and yet you’re the one apologising for it?” He questioned. “You need to give yourself a break, MC.”

“And miss out on this everlasting pain I feel inside me? Surely not.” She spoke sarcastically, causing him to chuckle at her.

He couldn’t believe what a strong front she had considering last time this happened, he found her drinking straight out of the wine bottle. As her big, glassy eyes flickered up to look at him, Satan smiled. “Here.” He spoke softly, “I brought something for you.”

Reaching behind his back, he pulled out the shirt that was partially tucked into his trouser pocket.

“It’s your favourite.” He smiled.

Just seeing the shirt in his hand that she always stole off him, made MC’s heart warm momentarily. “Oh!” She sulked, “you’re so good to me.”

Shifting in the bed, she snuggled up to Satan, taking him by surprise. Stiffly, he moved a hand to rest of her back as she held his waist; resting her head on his thigh. “I thought you’d appreciate it.” He spoke quietly, his eyes never leaving her face; even now that she was looking away.

“I do.” She sighed, “thank you for coming, Satan.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Asmo.” He stated, “If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have even known you were back. I was so engrossed in my book that I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“What were you reading?” MC asked, hoping to distract her mind.

Suddenly a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “I’ll let you have one guess...Belle.”

For the first time since her blunder with Lucifer, MC had a warm expression. Satan hadn’t used his nickname for her in a few weeks and the sudden sound of it made her heart flutter again.

“You’re obsessed.” She half laughed.

Satan didn’t care about her comment. All he cared about was her wellbeing and that he was able to comfort MC...even if she had to mock him to achieve it.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked quietly.

“No, just hold me.” She whispered, still clutching onto him.

“Okay.” He mouthed, hoping she wouldn’t be able to feel his heart thumping from where she laid.

He knew he was there to comfort her and comfort her only, but there was a burning question on his mind that he just had to ask. “I know it’s probably not what you’re thinking about right now MC, but I was wondering if you wanted to come to the ball with me tomorrow? I can keep you away from Lucifer while Asmo distracts him. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your first time.”

MC actually considered his offer for a moment; intrigued by the way it lingered on her mind. “I’m grateful for the offer Satan, I really am...I just...I just don’t want to go after today.” She answered him.

Although he was sad to hear her words, it’s what he expected. “Do you want me to stay here with you instead?” He asked.

“No!” She breathed, sitting up, “you don’t have to do that for me.”

“Believe me, I’d be doing both of us a favour by ditching the ball.” He chuckled, making her smile softly.

“Thank you Satan but I’m fine.” She shook her head. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will.” He whispered as he opened up his arms supportively.

Content with his gesture, MC flopped into his front as he wrapped his arms around her. The pair laid back on the bed with MC’s head on Satan’s chest as the room fell silent.

“Thank you, Satan.” She breathed.

“Stop thanking me, MC.” He insisted.

“Sorry.” She mumbled back.

As much as he told her off for thanking him, it was all MC wanted to do. She’d never appreciated Satan so much in her life before; it was only then that she began to realise just how much he meant to her.

Confusion crossed her face as Satan filled her mind. Eyes flickering to the shirt that rested beside them, she quickly distracted herself.

“You’re not getting that back this time by the way.” She mumbled into his side, causing him to laugh.

“I expected nothing less.” He smiled as he pulled her in tighter.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! How you’re doing? First of all, I wanna say that I love your lists. So, I was wondering, do you have some long Johnlock fics? Like, with a bunch of chapters and all that. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!! 

I absolutely do! And you know what?? I’m gonna be selfish: No one has ever EVER asked me for my shorter long fics, so I’m going to take this opportunity to finally release this list, because it’s been sitting in my drafts for YEARS lol. BUT you can check the list below for the links to all my longer-fics lists! Happy reading!!

NOVELLA LENGTH FICS: 20-25K

See also:

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w., 7 Ch. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 1 Ch. || Texting, Humour, Post S2) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w., 8 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty's plans? John's supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w. 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (E, 22,375 w., 3 Ch. || Fluff, Romance, Marriage Proposal) – Proposing shouldn't be this difficult.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Dear John by wendymarlowe (E, 23,031 w., 64 Ch. || Post-TRF, Online Dating, Pining, Epistolary, Cybersex, Long Distance Romance) – With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.) Part 1 of Dear John

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they're both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

[tata-is-the-name]

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 13.1)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER. 

UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8)

CHAPTER 13

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Geralt could feel what you also feel and he was cursing the Djinn for making you both feel this way because it was a feeling that was certainly irresistible for one man to ever control. You were in heat, and it doesn’t seem to be such a good idea for the witcher to try and resist. 

Warnings: This is just a filler chapter for the smut in the next chapter. Ahonhonhon! Kind of Jealous Geralt too? Lowkey? Hehehehe. A cute bard and Cirilla having the period-syndrome (I’m having it too rn and I’m thirsty for Geralt or any of Henry’s character. DAMN IT) I’ve given a name to the Djinn they’ve found because I’ve tried searching but found no name for every Djinn they find in the witcher? I think? Reader being so needy and in heat. (The animal type of heat for reasons..) Also, reader is...a virgin. 

Words: 4.5k

A/N: You probably want to strangle me so hard right now, bb’s. I’m in the phase of a writer where I’m procrastinating stuff but not exactly a writer’s block. Just want to do things besides writing all day or I’m prolly just sleepy with no damn reason since last week. 😅😒 

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue! 

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren’t from moi as well. GIF’s INCLUDED ARE CREDITED TO THOSE WHO MADE THEM! I DO NOT OWN THEM!

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

"Well, you're in a greater bad mood right now, rat." Jaskier frankly stated, wiping his lute with a cloth.

The night was serene with your heart strings balled up in a yarn. Your emotions consisting of woe with a face as if you lost a shit ton of money. You sat together with Jaskier in the middle of the vast leigh, knees touching against each other as the bard quietly sat with you in silence.

A bright purple evenfall draws nigh along the sky, stars finally becoming visible as you admired how beautiful their skies were. Less pollution and more aesthetic, though a lot more eccentricity happening around more than earth.

You've exhaled one last sigh, mouth in a tight frown as you took notice of the moon that was in replete. A perfect shape of a circle as it shines bright.

"Is the witcher being an imbecile again?" the bard ceased his cleaning, giving you his sole attention as he watched your face contort in utmost upset. But, you chose to just let the sorrow go for a moment, admiring the stars and skies like it wasn't laughing back at you from how delusional you were for having strong feelings for the witcher, "Don't start, Jaskier."

"Your cantankerous attitude shown in your cherubic face tells me that you are gradually adapting Geralt's crabbiness because you accepted the position in being his lover---," Jaskier has managed to bluntly say, carefully placing his lute on the grass as he narrowed his eyes at you, "---Though, it does seem like a sacrifice, small rat. Your kindness shall be missed. I would like to see you try and let Geralt adapt to your naivity and sweetness. The vision is pretty hilarious, if you ask me!"

Your frown even grew tighter when he mentioned the word 'lover', shoulders falling from how dismayed you were from hearing it.

"I'm not his lover."

The bard couldn't help but raise a skeptical brow back at you, remembering what he saw last night. He knew he wasn't hallucinating nor daydreaming, "Oh, so kissing under the moonlight is considered as a friendly gesture in my era now? If so, then this means you wouldn't mind kissing me too!"

He puckered his lips, making smooching sounds as slowly tried to teasingly close the gap between you both as Jaskier pouted to act as if he was about to give you a kiss on the cheek when you've yelped and immediately had your palms over his mouth, gently pushing his face away from you, "Jaskier! What are you even---?!"

He comfortably sat back down and had his knee over his chest prior to the position he had now, which was in criss-cross as he playfully shrugged. His pretty baby blues looking at the darkening sky, "A shame. I've been told by countable lads and lasses that I do kiss like I take their breath away,"

You tutted at that, shaking your head from his teasing and tried to send a hostile sally, "You suck then. Do you want them dying because of lack of breath?"

Your animosity has been curved by the bard. He seemed like he was acting like he didn't hear you as he let his eyes flicker to you again; going on with his jests, "Thank you by the way. I've been sleeping much soundly since the couple of days and you seemed to be having such wonderful dreams every night,"

Bawdy indications were hinted in between Jaskier's words; making you give him a glare that obviously made him grin like he won the lottery; thinking that your previous rendezvous back in Geralt's room when he wasn't around had some provocative explanations.

He didn't know your symbol was hurting a lot more on those nights where Geralt wasn't around.

You brush off his ribald comment, "I didn't do it for you,"

"I thought you were actually asking for forgiveness by calling me a horse's arse minutes ago? You're knowing the blasphemy of our language but totally naive of every monsters and places we have here. It doesn't seem to be such a thing to be proud of,"

Jaskier continued his blathers without even letting you talk, freely letting you give him death glares because he seemed to be more mouthy as days go by. You turn a deaf ear to exhale an exasperated breath, "I'm taking it back. You're still annoying as heck," before unabashedly laying your head down on his lap.

His yakking has been brought to a halt when he'd felt your head fall on his lap, the bard suddenly uttering quizzical gibbers that you continued to ignore as you felt the bracing wind hit your body; appreciating the eventide in quietude.

"Alright, alright! I'm not complaining...Ughm," Jaskier cleared his throat, anxiously scratching his head as he tried his best not to look at you.

The fullness of the moon has been drawing you in again. In a tranquil night, it was as if the stars began to whisper sweet nothings, lately realizing that their soft whispers has actually been your wishes; albeit, you've broken them down together, your whims willing and having no desire for you to actually come back in earth.

With only one thing in your mind, it was to stay with Geralt and his family.

But, do you really mean it? If you would choose earth or their dimension, were you serious that you wanted to stay?

Though, for him; you weren't that sure if he also wanted the same thing. If Geralt wasn't around, you were probably already dead, have been sold by noblemen or eaten by their monsters.

But, the stars seemed to jump out of the sky when you've heard a loud thundercrack of a door that came from the inside of their house, snapping the bard quiet as the noise tugged you out of your happy place; a place that you hoped Geralt came with.

The night has went slower, time ticking a lot more deliberately when one person is probably upset with another. Especially, when the person you were upset with lived in the same house as you and even was the owner of the bed you sleep on.

You were beginning to feel rickety as seconds pass by while Jaskier tried worming out whatever he had asked to Cirilla whom was feeding Kolby with a basket full of obsolete bread.

"Tell me why the back door is now broken off its hinges?" he asked in incredulity, hands on his hips as he had seen the brown, wooden door hanging with all its life, trying hard not to fall.

Hence, as they continued their talk; you couldn't help but massage that aching part of your chest, the one where the symbol laid upon the valley of your breasts as you heavily breathed.

It was attacking again.

The weight and fiery phantom of fingers grasping your heart more severe rather than the nights you had it felt like a rabid monster wanted to come out of cage. Their cold weather suddenly all swelter; as if you were walking on burnt out coals with one person clouding your mind.

Geralt.

You needed him, wanted him and yearned for his presence.

Cirilla gave a blatant shrug of her shoulders; sounding completely phlegmatic as she answered, "I don't know, bard. I didn't scream if that will make you any less more worried,"

Jaskier had his eyebrows furrowed as he keenly pondered as to why their door was broken all of a sudden, "Has there been a beast?" his slim, calloused fingers moved restlessly; dwelling onto what has raided their own home. The bard looked anywhere, continuing to be in distress while Cirilla patted the Hirikka's head with utmost care as she watched him devour everything in the basket, "You mean, Geralt?" she gave Jaskier a once over before turning back to look at Kolby, thoroughly undisturbed that it was the witcher's doing, "---He went out for a second and then came back, breaking the door off its hinges. But, he promised to fix it,"

Jaskier's head veered to where she was crouched in the middle of the living room, his baby blue eyes full of concern as he opened his mouth to tell all his inquiries but was instantly shut closed when he'd seen you hunched in his peripheral vision, palms on your knees as you were breathing like you were being chased by another Alghoul.

The latter took heed of those sweat drops falling on the side of your face as you were heaving deep breaths. Your head was darkening in assailing images of those familiar amber eyes you've grown to be thoroughly fond of; longing to be consumed by those glowing golden aureate.

You've heard someone walking closer to where you stood, seeing Jaskier crouch to give you a scrutiny of his baby blues. Bright azures. You didn't yearn for that. All you wanted was golden. His golden and you couldn't help but whimper, your chest has giving you agony as if you were being pricked in the heart by small needles, "You're sweating like a rabid---rat, are you alright?"

Another deep inhale of your breath; you breathlessly muttered, "I am Jaskier---It's just---" nevertheless, those train of thoughts couldn't be completed by the excruciating pain that ignited a troubled mewl. You straightened your back, making Jaskier stand up as well to scan your face for any signs as to what was happening to you, but only had seen your face painfully contorted in a way that tells him you were in agony.

"It's hot. Too hot," pause. You swallowed the tight knot of confining sensations wanting to be let out, "---Abnormally hot. Hot in two different ways; like I wanna be impaled or something!"

At your most forthright honesty, your statement has made the bard blink rapidly from how blunt it sounded, being taken aback by how outspoken you suddenly become; a thorough change of your bashful self, "You're actually revealing lewd facts that should be kept to yourself. You are certainly not alright!"

You could feel yourself grow hotter, the heat being scorching and aching at the same time. Your legs began to weaken and you can't help but fold like a paper, squat down and the position was utmost impuissant; totally vulnerable with your palms on your ears as you tried to shut down the restless whispering that went on and on; ceaseless as you had no power over it.

Jaskier began to panic; his face brimful of dread, "----GERALT? WE HAVE A PROBLEM DOWN HERE!"

The soughing of breathless whispers were relentless, no matter how you tried to cover your ears; they just keep coming. It was incessant, never ending despite of how they were giving your chest a pain that seem to be unyielding as they went on and on.

Witcher. You wanted the witcher. You needed him, you longed for him.

"Stop saying the word witcher, Jaskier!" you abruptly scolded, sounding too jarring and ear-piercing; void of kindness as you could feel the aggravation going to your head with the additional non-stop rustle of voices. The bard eyed you skeptically as he added, finding your rebuke rather surprising and odd because he never said anything about it, "I wasn't even uttering a word!"

Warm, slender fingers fell on your shoulders; trying his best to comfort you while the witcher wasn't coming down from his chambers yet. Nevertheless, from the moment he'd touch you, the toubadour has received a harsh slap of his hand being pushed away.

"Jaskier!" you harshly spat, your nose scrunched from how discomforting you were feeling.

He was quick to haul his arms up in surrender, stepping a foot away as he looked at you in horror, "Alright---I'm not touching you then!"

Another strained bleat left your lips as you were now fully sat on the floor, holding your chest as you continued to heave, shaking your head from the perpetual torment that tries its best to scream blandishments that sounded abridged. Some were incomprehensible and other words sounded lucid.

Destiny has it's price. It sounded just like a rustle of the winds as the shushed voices continued its onslaught. Two souls, together as one. Bound for eternal rest or a life forever. Zephyr shall protect. You cannot outrun death.

Your whimpers started to gradually increase, mewling in the process when you've exhaled a sigh as the needles seem to turn bigger, "It hurts, I swear it really hurts!" you screeched, body feeling like you were dropped in hot, molten lava as you were hearing foot steps treading in haste, "Geralt's coming, don't worry, rat."

Kolby prowled to where you sat; eternal mewls never ceasing as sexual, pent-up aggression was starting to travel to your head, but you tried to fight them off. Though, it ignited more pain as you struggled. Cirilla suddenly snapped her head to where you were, a tight lipped frown etching her face as she jogged to where you sat.

"Is she okay?" the pretty child asked in worry, watching you battle with something they couldn't see nor feel. Jaskier raised a brow; looking sardonic as he acknowledged, "No, she certainly isn't, Princess Cirilla."

She gave him a lour as she snarled; her riposte sounding a lot like the witcher because of how harsh it sounded, "I'm not in the mood for your sarcastic nonsense, bard."

Jaskier was unfazed as he took her retort like it was nothing, "Ooooh, is this how period--is it called period---does to a lassie?"

They're retaliations had them unaware of Geralt's presence who came marching down the stairs with an unfathomable expression on his face; the trepidation never seen in his features as it was emotionless, never giving anybody the panic that Jaskier, Cirilla and Kolby has been feeling when you've suddenly began bawling your eyes out from the thumping pain.

The witcher hurriedly crouched before you, his glowing amber eyes thoroughly scanning your features if there was anything weird happening; but to his discontent, Geralt noticed none.

He felt everything. Your frustration, pent-up aggression; venereal desires or not, the twinge of scorching ache that can't be relieved due to constraints given from the latter himself when he'd chose jurisdiction over his carnal wishes that you also wished.

But, he'd been bull-headed for his reasons; Geralt was not bargained for the repercussions held because of having no permanent proof that you were also suffering every night.

Just like him. Hence, the both of you needed relief. Corporeal appetites released for the betterment of both.

"She's in heat," Geralt rasped, trying to hear what you've been begging for and he sensed that you were hearing voices that continues to assault you, paining your chest as you were unaware of his presence that loom before you.

"What? Oh, Geralt! Cease the utter balderdash!" Jaskier exclaimed, eyeing the witcher who squat down in front of you.

Geralt's amber eyes has been searching for yours, but you've never let him see as you continued your hushed begging. He had his chiseled jaw clenched so tight, every breath he takes was also giving his chest a potent congesting pain that he can somehow resist. His medallion was vibrating wildly, alarming him that there was magic surrounding him.

Therefore, he knew the pain wasn't just one to disregard because he knew your pain has explanations that is needed to foresee.

Was the Djinn still in there? Keeping you as a host?

No. Impossible. The witcher thought at the back of his head because there were times that his medallion doesn't vibrate whenever he's around you, it only happened now and back then when you were possessed.

It was impossible that the Djinn was keeping you as its master as well. You could die if that ever happened. The seal was gone and never found back in the swamps, meaning to say it was already gone; broke free from its confinement because you already had three of your wishes.

Jaskier couldn't help but notice how clean and fixed Geralt's hair was. Hence, he'd started to acknowledge the aesthetic difference he claimed, "Also, did you just braid your majestic chalky white hair all by yourself?! Or did you do it, Princess Cirilla?" he bargained, utterly stunned from Geralt and his hair being braided, dubiously eyeing the lion cub of Cintra.

But, she only gave a nonchalant negation, "No."

"Oh, the rat did! She did a great job at making you look so feminine tonight, Geralt!"

Geralt paid no heed to Jaskier's teasing compliments, wanting nothing but to roll his eyes but ceased to do so as your fingers began to shake, his mind now in a perturbed fret as his gaze shifted anywhere to see what was causing your whole situation because he sees nothing. A tight furrow of his eyebrows tightly creased his forehead, "---The Djinn has given her effects for whatever the symbol does to her, bard."

Jaskier crouched beside where Geralt is, receiving a truculent glare that made the bard move away for an inch because his bellicose aura was radiating off him too much, "Symbol? What symbol?"

"I'm not showing you her chest." he bluntly chided as a low growl vibrated through his chest, giving Jaskier a hostile look in his glowing peepers.

The toubadour did a double-take, his mouth turning into an offended 'O' as he held a palm on top of his chest as he gestured to your squatted form, "I wasn't even asking you if I could see her breasts!"

"Then, shut up and stop asking."

Jaskier huffed, sulking beside the witcher because of how he'd suddenly become such a grump.  

You've muttered a soft mewl, tightly closing your ears with your palms as you suddenly talked out loud, "I need Geralt. Where's Geralt?!" it was the only name you could hear, echoing inside your head as the heat traveled through your veins, searing and extremely scorching all of a sudden.

Your heartbeat was loudly drumming out of your chest. Sweat dripping down your face as the pain and heat was starting to make you feel lightheaded, his scent crashing through your senses. Earthy, pinewood and a mix of mannishness.

Geralt.

"Don't touch me!" It felt like you were burning; but also finding some aid to the ache as it soothed your heated skin like ice to the fire. You've felt his thick, rough fingers fall on your shoulder, making you jerk back as you looked at him; completely mortified for a second, "I'm here, midget." before the witcher tightened his hold on you, those fingers clasping around your feeble arm as he gazed upon you in deep concern.

"It's alright. Calm down, it's me." Geralt gently hushed your frantic state, softly grabbing the side of your jaw to make you look at him.

When he did, your eyes were dark and dilated, filled with carnal.

"You're having a hot spell," he roughly forced the words out of him, heavily swallowing whatever you were feeling because he's also having the same problems, but chose to restrain himself; doing a better job than any most men would, "A--A literal spell?" you didn't catch his drift and feel yourself breathing deep, his scent soothing your nerves as it also does the same for him.

Geralt shook his head, his fingers strapped on the side of your neck making his hand feel the pleasuring jolt. You've felt his fingers slightly tremble as your eyes were beseeching, those dilated pupils of yours tormenting him, "No. You're in heat, midget." pause. he lowly growled in displeasure, amber eyes pooling in keen, "---which explains your cravings for touches and the need for coition,"

Your face scrunched in pain and a mixture of pent-up frustration, the voices inside your head slowly dying down as it was now drowning in the witcher's unique, baritone timbre of his that was making you feel giddy before a jolt of pain rose up your chest again, "What am I---an animal?! Geralt, make it stop!"

Jaskier and Cirilla listened in silence. However, the bard fidgeted with the hem of his tunic; his mindless frets seeming to come up with such suggestions that will make everyone's mind boggle.

He raised a hand, not before taking a good look at you who had eyes pure of anguish and need which now focused at Geralt before he'd loudly cleared his throat, turning his head to see the witcher in distress from what other methods he could think of other than the impaling,  "I have a proposal and an utterly brilliant idea to make the pain stop!"

Cirilla hushedly snorted, "His ideas are always nonsense. Don't listen to him, Geralt."

Jaskier placed his hands on his hips, pointing a finger at the princess, mouth opening before he was immediately ceased by Geralt himself.

"The princess is right, bard."

The sonneeter noted his lukewarm response, sounding like he actually opposes what Cirilla has reprimanded because all Geralt ever wanted and what clouds his mind is having his way with you, "---Give the small rat what she wants, Witcher. What if the pain carries on as nights go by? Give her the rumpy pumpy since that is always the answer to why an animal is in heat. It wants coitus, or if you've become one soft, romantic witcher; then I suggest to use the word, 'make love'." he emphasized, quoting the word 'make love' with both hands, his middle finger and index one folding as he said the last word with ardor.

Geralt was quick to scowl at that, exhaling an exasperated breath out of his nose as he hummed in protest; giving the bard his meanest glare, "You're saying she's an animal. You want me to take advantage of it?"

"No?" Jaskier quickly shook his head, groaning out; palms faintly hitting his forehead as he tried to act as if he was slapping it from Geralt's unreasonable assumptions. He continued, languidly blinking back at the frowning witcher, "---I didn't even say you would take advantage of the idea, you nincompoop! Then, do you want me to mate with her?"

It took him a second before he'd seen the latter started giving blazing daggers that had fire in it, his words seething as Geralt gruffly barked, "Absolutely not, bard!"

His glowing, amber eyes were boring holes at Jaskier before he lowly rumbled; more so to himself, trying to convince himself that there was another way.

He was dithering the idea of having you; not because he didn't find you pleasant, fetching, alluring or beautiful. Geralt found you in many types of wonderful adjectives he could tell, though mostly was kept inside his mind. The idea of having you, only to himself; ravishing you in ways that he ought to please kept him faltering because of one thing in his mind.

Vulnerability.

The witcher was thoroughly cautious of vulnerability because whenever it happens; once the walls have been broken down, there was always hindrance coming in his way and with the person he'd promised were important, or a person he loved because he knew that once he has you, Geralt was done for no matter how unstable he was.

You'll be seeing things you've never seen nor felt from him as he does the same way.

Especially, that you never came from their dimension and that the feelings he had for you was too strong to even control. But, the voices at the back of his mind was pulling him away from even pouring those emotions down because firstly, he didn't know how to show and second, there was a huge chance that you would also leave.

What if you leave? a person he'd treasured so much begins to leave him again?

Geralt mindlessly gritted his teeth together as he grumbled and grouched, avoiding the bard's eyes as he watched you shakily grab onto his palms that tenderly rested on the side of your face; leaning onto his touch as you looked at him; utterly lovestruck, "We'll find another way," pause. "---There has to be."

Though, it seems like the bard hasn't heard his beseeching and continued with his witful suggestions, "The only way is to impale her to cease the sufferings that the spell has cast upon her by the Djinn," Jaskier promptly stood up on his feet, his anxiety making him blurt out mindless blabbers he could ever think of, "---There is nothing to lose on this one, Geralt. Especially that you're...no offense---"

Geralt cut him off in haste, surly spitting out his words, "There is, Jaskier. Her purity."

Jaskier pointed back at the witcher, completely looking taken aback as he opened his mouth like he was stunned, "Oh." was the only thing he managed to say for the first few seconds before he quietly muttered, "OooooOh. She's a?"

The Ivory haired man gave a brief nod, "Untouched." he frankly informed as Cirilla quietly listened in the background with Kolby howling loudly in the middle of the night like a wolf in disguise, "---Oh! This is an unorthodox for the series of women that you have had, Geralt! Also, she's a rare one indeed!"

Jaskier couldn't help but feel dumbstruck from his suggestions, shamefully scratching the back of his nape as he has given the whole responsibility to Geralt because he could never help. He always never does because of some sorts that he couldn't explain, probably because he wasn't taught with these magical phenomena that Geralt expertly knows.

When the witcher has given you his attention, you've abruptly attacked him in a bear hug, arms tightly wrapped around his thick neck that you wanted to softly pepper kisses. As you were caging him in your arms, his delicious scent wafted through your nose, welcoming how it was indeed mouthwatering for your blazing appetite or carnal greed.

"I want to have you, Geralt. I--I need to have you! These thoughts inside my head...It needs you, I--I need you," you begged, softly pleading like there wasn't anyone around you; not noticing Cirilla, Kolby nor Jaskier as there was only one person in your mind. Geralt of Rivia. Your Geralt. Your witcher. The only person who gives you fluttering butterflies and wild ants inside your stomach and chest.

You've tucked your face in between your arm and his braided hair, breathing the back of his ear like a wild woman as Geralt stood still and heard your whimpers that went straight to his stronghold, his will in finding another method to help suddenly wavering from how soft and provocative it sounded that clouded his mind.

He turned relaxed in your arms, accepting the bear hug and probably loving how close you both were together after hours of not talking to each other. You've felt his calloused palm caress your clothed back, soothing your pained mewls that came after your sensual whimpers as it was unstable. Geralt gently unlatched your arms that surrounds him, his golden peepers meeting your baffled ones before he had no problem in scooping you up in his arms, like newly wed couples.

"We'll think of other ways, midget. Come. Let's help you with the heat,"

Cliffhanger before the smut? I’M SORRY, BB’S. LOVE MEEEE STILLLLLL! 

Taglist: @alyxkbrl​ @himarisolace​ @barkingbullfrog​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @hellodevilslittlesister​ @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer​​ @marvelousell​​ @kingniazx​​ @angelias134​​ @tapismyforte​​ @chook007​​ @covid-donotenter​​ @winter-moons​ @cheesecakeisapie​ @silverkitten547​​ @angelofthor​r @carrieannewaywardson @plantingmum​, @stuckupstucky​, @shesthelastjedi​

[jalapeno-princess]

Chapter 4: Rest Of My Life

Mark Tuan X Reader

Part 4 of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series

Genre: THE SAPPIEST AND CUTEST OF FLUFF (tiniest hints of angst) (horny ass Mark)

Word Count: 14K (Honestly it felt so much longer)

Summary: In every relationship, there are ups and downs. However, after every rainstorm, there is a rainbow. (I fucking hated how cheesy that was I just don’t want to give anything away LOL)

A/N: Finally I am done with this chapter UGH this one took longer to write but yet I feel like it’s the most rushed and repetitive one yet I’m actually not at all happy with how this turned out and there was a lot of fillers in some parts and literally nothing in other parts I just wanted to finish it I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you all would have hoped. By the way, all of your comments on chapter three about who is behind the door made me laugh your minds are so creative I hope you all are happy with who is actually behind the door. I’m both happy and sad that this story is coming to an end (happy because there are so many other stories I can’t wait to write but sad af because I genuinely love this story it’s my first series and I just love how I wrote about Mark in here and the relationship between him and the reader is all I could ever dream about having in a relationship UGH) I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing the fifth chapter but I’m sure it’ll be within the next couple of weeks. With that being said, happy reading!

“Jackson? What are you doing here?” 

The last time you saw the older boy was the summer before both him and Mark went off to college. It felt like ages ago—but you were shocked after coming to the realization that it has only been a year. A lot has happened since their graduation; the last thing you heard from Mark was that Jackson was planning on studying abroad in China. 

Out of Mark’s entire group of friends, you found yourself gravitating towards him the most. Although, he gave you no choice to do otherwise. Jackson Wang was a golden retriever in human form. Anyone and everyone who entered his path, whether it was accidentally or on purpose would become extremely close with him—and it was usually because of his persistence to make and maintain as many friendships as possible. You were shocked to say the least as your eyes landed on his broadened figure. 

Puberty just so happened to favor Mark and his friends—they were all so good looking and very much in amazing shape. Jackson was currently shirtless and if it were anyone else in your shoes, their cheeks probably would’ve turned pink at the sight of his bare chest. You however, were pretty much used to being comfortable around him, Yugyeom, BamBam and Jinyoung. 

When it came to their group of friends, you were pretty much desensitized with any of their antics; not wearing clothing was one of them. It came to the point where Mark never allowed you around them if there was a chance they would remove any item of their clothing—but it was not as much because of jealousy; it was more so because the guys would purposely try to get on Mark’s nerves as much as possible. 

Most of your best times in high school were because of the wild and rowdy group of guys and you didn’t realize just how much you’ve missed all of them until they all went their separate ways. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from any of the guys—but college took up more time than high school did and the four of them, along with your ex-boyfriend all decided to go to school out of state. 

They were all so excited when it was time to start filling out applications to all the different universities around the world; Yugyeom and BamBam shocked you the most when you found out that they actually got accepted to what you considered were elite colleges. If those two could get in to college, anybody could. As much as you wanted to laugh at the many memories of how both boys would never fail to get in trouble for either being late to class, or for getting caught with stealing a bunch of condoms from behind your teacher’s desk, it only occurred to you that you just referred to Mark as your ex-boyfriend. 

Not once was there ever a time in the duration of your relationship where you would have ever put Mark in the same sentence as the term “ex”. Even when the two of you had your disagreements or unnecessary arguments, there was nothing that would have caused you think like that. Was he really your ex-boyfriend? The two of you were on a break; or so you believed. You explained the difference between a break up and just taking a break. 

You didn’t want to break up with Mark; he was your person—your soulmate, your best friend. He was in your life for more than half of it, you weren’t going to give up on him that easily. Both you and your relationship needed time to heal in order for you to be able to continue loving Mark in the ways that you used to. There was not a doubt in your mind that you still loved Mark. 

No matter what were to happen down the road, your heart would always belong to him. He was still the only man you wanted to settle down, start a family and spend the rest of your life together with. But you couldn’t help to think negative thoughts like Mark finding solace in someone else. What if this break took a toll on his mental health and he felt the need to confide in another girl? What if he felt that the only way he could stop crying over you was for him to move on and start seeing someone else? 

Deep down, you knew Mark would never do anything that would purposely make you sad or go against you in any way. He was the type to talk things out before making any rash decisions. However, it was only human of you to feel as if he was so frustrated with you to the point where he wanted to do something to hurt you just as much as he claimed you were doing to him. Did he consider you his ex-girlfriend? 

Was there someone who caught his eye in the last month who made him realize there were many other girls out there? That, instead of moping around and waiting for you to be ready to come back to him, someone else could help fill the void? You didn’t know how to describe the pain you were now feeling at the thought of Mark no longer being in love with you; you’ve been worrying and overthinking about this weeks before initiating the break, and he was never around to make you feel or think otherwise. 

Why did your relationship have to become so complicated? Why couldn’t things just have stayed the way they were before Mark left? Why did his efforts lessen knowing that it was going to take twice the amount of time and patience from both of you to continue and maintain a healthy relationship? When did he come to the realization that you were no longer a priority he considered all that important?

“I should be asking you the same thing—although, it’s nice seeing you again. You look seemingly beautiful as always. Albeit a bit messy with more dark circles than the last time we saw each other. It’s a given, but trust me—he looks even more terrible.” 

You looked up at him in curiosity of his confession, but you were well aware that Mark probably told him everything. Mark and Jackson were practically brothers. The only person Mark would confide in and admit all his deepest, darkest secrets to other than you was the charming boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he wanted to pull you in for a hug, but he was also pretty hesitant not knowing what you were feeling or thinking. Jackson gave you a knowing look before letting a small smirk rise upon his face. 

“Your lover boy is the definition of a lightweight. Mark can’t drink for shit. It only took two beers for him to spill everything to me after he came back from his trip—don’t look at me like that. Yes, we drink. It’s all apart of the college experience y/n. Anyways, I know it’s not my place to meddle in your relationship, but I have never seen Mark so depressed in my many years of knowing him for. It’s obvious this “break�� you asked him for is slowly killing him. The love he has for you is something people can only dream about ever experiencing in their lifetime. I caught him going through a photo album that he made of pictures and videos of you and he wouldn’t stop crying until I forcefully took away his phone. Look, I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything and I’m not making up any excuses for him. I’m sure being away from each other is already hard as it is—even worse since you barely get to hear from him but he does have his reasons for being so absent these days. He said he told you he got a job in order to surprise you that week but you didn’t allow him to finish explaining himself.” 

Jackson allowed you inside of the dorm room and you were actually pretty surprised at how clean it was. Sure, Mark was always very tidy and liked to keep his space neat; but witnessing Jackson’s tendencies of picking food from up off the ground and eating it right after, you just assumed he wasn’t the type to care about cleanliness and hygiene. 

“Wow—nice place. Mark showed me a couple of times over Skype but it’s different actually being here.” He gave you his signature cheeky smile before motioning for you to sit down on the couch. 

“Thanks. It was actually his idea to be roommates. I guess he wasn’t all too fond of his previous one and when I decided to transfer over to New York, he offered to let me move in with him. Now, back to what I was saying. For months, Mark kept sulking over how much he missed you and how he was going to do whatever he could to see you again sooner rather than later; so he got a job at this coffee shop right across of campus. Everyone knows Mark hates coffee—but it was the only place that was 24 hours and would work alongside his schedule. Poor guy was barely getting any sleep for the few months leading up to his trip but it didn’t seem to bother him. He was just so stoked to reunite with his “favorite person in the entire world” that he didn’t care how exhausted he was from juggling school, work and his athletics. Our baseball coach even pulled him aside and told him that he needed to get better with managing his priorities or he would kick him off the team. I swear, the night he returned from California, my heart broke for him. He looked so wrecked y/n—but he didn’t say a word. We all know how much of a crybaby he can be, but it was a different kind of sadness. His eyes were so bloodshot and puffy yet they held no emotion in them. He also had no appetite at all and that’s obviously not like him. Boy can eat. I’m not saying you should completely forget how he’s been treating you, but please forgive him. I know he has your best interest at heart. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, anyone with eyes can see just how much you mean to him. Ah—I didn’t mean to make you cry; honestly you and Mark are perfect for each other. I’ll be right back.” 

You didn’t even feel tears fall down your cheeks, but it was inevitable. Every single thing that he said tugged on your heartstrings. 

Did you get lonely while I was away—working my fucking ass off at a job I hate in order to save enough money so I could come and see you? 

For the entire month, Mark’s anger-filled speech from that night replayed over and over in your mind and you felt like such a terrible person now that you understood why he’s been so distant. He tried to tell you, but you just wouldn’t listen. You were so frustrated—so heartbroken in that moment and you wanted him to know the damage that was done to your relationship because he wasn’t as involved in your life as he used to. 

Hearing that he was barely getting any sleep nor having any legitimate free time to himself just so that he could save up money to visit you made your stomach sink. You couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for him. He flew all the way to California to surprise you, only to be met with the idea of a break. It was probably very heartbreaking for him. He worked all those hours—probably put up with a lot of assholes and having to be on his feet for long periods of the day only to find out that his girlfriend needed time to heal from the pain he’s been causing her. 

You never felt so angry with yourself—but at the same time, you wouldn’t have known. He never said anything. If things were going to end the way you were hoping they would today, then you would make sure the two of you worked on your communication. Jackson returned back with a box of tissues and a bottle of water to which you thanked him politely and wiped away a few stray tears. As much as you were enjoying his presence, you were there for a reason and Jackson could tell with the way you were looking around the room as if you were expecting someone—Mark—to come out from one of the rooms. 

“He’s at work. Don’t worry, he cut back his hours so that he could put more effort in his studies, but he should be done here pretty soon. I better go—I’m going to need some time to find someone who will let me crash on their couch for tonight—or however long you plan on staying here.”

“Why would you need somewhere else to sleep—“ he gave you an incredulous look while playfully raising his brows. 

“Oh trust me, we all know what is going to happen between you and Mark once you both kiss and make up. The next thing I need is not being able to get any sleep because of how loud I know it’s going to be—ow! What? Naughty, kinky make up sex is the best! I mean, I’ll stay if I get to join in on the night’s festivities; but we all know how extremely territorial and overprotective Mark is when it comes to you so I’ll let you both have your fun. But don’t have too much fun—we already got noise complaints two months ago when Yugyeom and BamBam came down for spring break and we all got drunk while playing Mario kart. I’ll take my leave, I actually have some assignments I need to work on. Feel free to make yourself at home—oh, and please—no sex on the couch. This is where I take most of my naps, so keep all the raunchiness in the bedroom. I’ll see you later y/n. There’s some pizza in the oven, my room is down the hall on the left, Mark’s is on the right and we actually both have our own bathrooms in our rooms. You’re better off using his, I wasn’t expecting any guests so—yeah. Good luck!” 

He pulled you in to a quick hug before grabbing his keys and making his way out the door. Although you couldn’t wait to finally see Mark again, you would have rather Jackson had stayed with you until he did arrive home. You swore your heart was about ready to jump out of your chest while waiting for him. There were so many different scenarios—more negative ones than positive running through your mind about how things were going to play out. If what Jackson said about Mark was true, you were confident that he would take you back with open arms. 

However, you were afraid that he was no longer as adamant on fixing things. You were afraid that with your situation with Mark—no matter how many memories the two of you had together, no matter how many years you’ve spent together, no matter how much history the two of you shared—if his heart was no longer in it, there was nothing you could do. Instead of mending your relationship, what if this break only made Mark realize that he didn’t want to put up with your brash and cold exterior? 

People change; sometimes they grow apart—what if it was too late to come back together again? Although Jackson did tell you to relax and unwind, you didn’t feel like you had the right to. You’ve never been here before and you were never the type of person to just roam around someone else’s personal area, even if the person was someone you’ve spent over a decade of your life with. A part of you couldn’t help but grow curious as to what Mark’s bedroom looked like. 

Did he style it the way he did at his last dorm? Did it look like his room back in California that you’d spent many hours playing video games and doing your homework in? It felt extremely awkward just sitting there waiting for him to walk through the door. You should’ve asked Jackson exactly what time Mark planned on arriving home so you could have better prepared yourself for when he were to finally walk through the doors. Instead of waiting on the couch in agony and doing nothing, you got up and began the search for Mark’s room. You intended on going in to his bathroom and making sure it wasn’t obvious that you had previously cried. 

When you first walked in to his room, you immediately took in how clean it was. His walls were white, but you assumed they were already like that before he even moved in. His bed sheets were navy blue and so were his curtains. There was a tv hung up on the wall with a PlayStation and a couple of games set up right under. You decided to take a quick peek around before finally going in to his bathroom to freshen up. As you continued to browse throughout his room, you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Right above his bed frame was a picture board. You absentmindedly found yourself crawling on to his bed to get a better look at all the photos; there were a couple with his family, some with his teammates, a few with his friends back in high school—but most of the photos were with, or of you. There was even a photo of the two of you sitting on his nightstand. This photo however, had a note attached to it. It was always and will forever be you. This time, you allowed the tears to fall freely—you couldn’t give less of a shit about what you looked like anymore. 

Always. 

You were and would forever be his always. You didn’t care that you had to stay up late just to hear from him—you didn’t care that you only ever saw him physically during the summertime or during the holidays. You didn’t care that all the friends you had made in the last year would brag about the many dates their boyfriends have been taking them on. None of that mattered. Mark loved you—even after all the heartbreak he suffered in the last month because of you, it just proved that he was willing to do anything and everything for you. 

“Can I help you find something?” 

The sudden interruption caused you to let out a muffled scream. When you turned around to look at him, you had to force yourself not to practically jump at him now that you were fully aware of the many sacrifices he had made just to make you happy. However, you didn’t want to startle him if you were to throw your arms around him. For the first time—Jackson was right. Well, sort of. Mark looked devastatingly handsome; but it was something you were used to. God obviously had his favorites and Mark Tuan was one of them. He did however, look as though he’s been crying for days. He also looked tired beyond belief. You heart was begging for you to go up to him and pull him in to your embrace while leaving as many kisses all along his jaw and neck—but your affection and the need to touch him was just going to have to wait. 

“Hey. Sorry, I—I came in here to use the bathroom and I—I didn’t mean to intrude or anything—I can go back outside—“

“No, no. You’re totally fine. I um—I’m sorry if I scared you. How—how have you been? You look great by the way. You haven’t been waiting long have you?” 

The laugh of disbelief was at the back of your throat. Standing in front of you was the boy you’ve been in love with for more years than you could count on both of your hands yet—it felt as though you were talking to a stranger. You could tell by his body language and the way he was scratching the back of his neck that he was flustered. 

Whenever Mark would get shy around you, it was always a sight to behold. His cheeks would turn the brightest of pinks, he would gnaw on his bottom lip and rock himself back and forth on the heels of his feet. Normally, he would act this way after a passionate night of love making or simply when you would introduce him as the love of your life to one of your family members. In other situations, you would have found his timid exterior to have been extremely adorable, but as of right now, it was suffocating you. You knew you were the reason why he was acting so nervous; so cautious because you were sure he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring you away. 

“Jackson let me in about half an hour ago, but it’s okay. He was quite the host until he left to go “study”. I’m surprised at how tidy you’ve been able to maintain this place; or should I say—I’m surprised Jackson has been doing his share and cleaning up. I really like it.” 

He thanked you softly before bringing his attention to the floor. Mark was always very confident whenever he spoke; so seeing him uncertain and unsure about how to approach you wasn’t a sight you were quite used to. Nor was it one you ever wanted to get used to. The atmosphere was filled with uncomfortable tension that you wanted so badly to disappear. Whether it was because you missed him more than you wanted to admit out loud, or because it was evident that he wanted to make his way toward you but didn’t know if he was allowed to; you found yourself taking the initiative in getting up from his bed and wasted no time cupping both of his cheeks with your hands and kissing him as if your life depended on it. 

You wanted him to know just how sorry you were for everything he had to go through in the last month because of how stubborn you’ve been. As soon as he felt your lips smash against his own, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and pulled you as close to his body that was physically possible. His kisses were rough as his hands roamed your body. God, how did you go so long without the beautiful boy in front of you? Everything in your life felt right again. Being in Mark’s arms while his tongue mapped his trace along your neck was an otherworldly sensation. You were thousands of miles away from California, but you’ve never felt more at home than you did right now. Mark was your home—your favorite place to escape; a breath of fresh air. You were right where you needed to be. 

“Mmm—Mark—I’m so sorry baby. Jackson told me everything. I should have listened to you—I should’ve allowed you to explain yourself. If I knew the actual reason why you weren’t communicating with me as often, I wouldn’t have been so hard on you. I would’ve been more understanding—“

“Nope—I won’t be having any of that. No apologies baby. Yes, I was exhausted beyond belief, but I should have tried harder for us—for you. I was working hard in order to finally be with you again, but I completely pushed back the purpose of why I was doing all of this; why I was practically going days with only five hours of sleep in total. Why I was typing out essays while on my breaks at work. Why I was taking down espresso shots like they were vodka shots—both of which are completely nasty by the way. You are my purpose baby. Everything I do is with your happiness in mind. I know how much my absence has been affecting you because waking up every morning without you next to me was like a fucking chore. It was just as bad for me as it was for you. God, if there’s anything I hate more than college-level calculus, it’s having to live without you—the reason for my existence. Give me your hand.” You did as you were told; placing your hand in his all the while blushing when he brought it up to his chest. 

“Feel that? It’s racing—I haven’t felt my heartbeat this fast since the night you told me you wanted to take a break. That had to be the worst night of my entire life baby. I couldn’t stop beating myself up about your disheartened facial expression when you told me I needed to get my act together. I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I cried every single fucking day because I couldn’t stop thinking this was the end between us. I never ever want to go one day without you. I know—I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you and I hope you know you didn’t deserve it at all y/n. There were days I wanted to quit my job because I hated it so much and because I’m so exhausted, but then I’d take a look at my phone screen with the picture I took of you that one morning when we had a food fight in the kitchen and you got peanut butter in your hair and all over your face and I just—it made me remember what I was doing it all for. It felt like forever that we got to do something fun like that—it’s been forever since I truly felt any ounce of happiness. I feel like I’m living, but not at all existing whenever I’m away from you. I know you told me not to regret my decision in choosing to go away for college, but I do. I regret choosing to ever be where you aren’t. Fuck, you don’t understand just how hard it was for me having to go back home that night thinking that you no longer wanted anything to do with me; and even if you said he was just a friend—that guy, whatever his stupid name is—“

“His name is Jaebeom—

“Yeah yeah—whatever. That obviously doesn’t matter. It’s my last name that you’re taking one day so I don’t care what his name or anybody else’s name is. I know you would never cheat on me or do anything to jeopardize our relationship, but seeing the two of you together really struck a nerve with me. I don’t know what he is to you, but I’m sure he must be someone meaningful to you for you to go to prom with him. I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he is to be around you all the time, how he gets to hear that vibrant and contagious laughter of yours, how he gets to see your radiant and breathtaking smile and how that should have been me being all cute and matching with you. How I should have been there, flaunting you off to everyone. God, you looked so beautiful that night y/n—but you looked so fucking sad when you looked at me. When I came back to New York, I didn’t want to do anything. At all. I called in sick from work, I took a break from baseball and I even missed a couple of classes but I couldn’t give less of a shit. I felt so empty—physically and mentally I felt numb. I wanted to call you; trust me when I say I found my fingers hovering over your contact many times. I continuously checked up on your social media to see how you were doing—if you were okay, if you were eating all your meals and getting some rest. If—if you were suffering without me the way I was with you. I’m nothing without you. Absolutely nothing.” 

He brought his thumb up to your cheek and gently brushed away a tear you didn’t even notice fall from your eyelids. You were well aware that Mark loved you more than you could even accept that you deserved. There were a couple of times you question his love for you; not hearing from him made you feel as though you weren’t as important to him and just that thought alone made you feel as if his love for you faltered. Hearing him confess to you what this past month has been like for him just confirmed that you meant a lot more to him than you felt you did. This break only made you realize that you could no longer be without him—you no longer wanted to put him through any more stress or sadness. 

“Damnit Mark—how do you—fuck—you have such a way with words. You’ve always have. I love you so, so much. More than I ever get around to telling you. I’m so sorry—don’t give me that look babe let me apologize. I should have tried harder to see how you were doing. I know being a student athlete is already so frustrating and I just felt like you didn’t need something else to worry about. I know you’re probably going to disagree and get mad at me for feeling this way, but I just felt like such a burden to you. You already have so many responsibilities, your relationship should be the least of your worries. As much as I love surprises, please Mark—I want you to be honest with me next time. We need to work on our communication. Don’t get me wrong, I am honestly so grateful that you got a job in order to make money to come and visit me and I apologize if you feel like it was a waste—if my reaction that night wasn’t the one you were expecting, but I just didn’t know how to react. I was genuinely happy to see you—or at least deep down I knew I was. My facial expression was the complete opposite—but it’s because I felt as though you were just so far away. You were right in front of me, yet I couldn’t recognize you. My mind couldn’t process that you were real—that you were actually there and not a figment of my silly imagination. Deciding to take a break took weeks to come to that decision. I couldn’t stop thinking that I was no longer a priority to you, so I just stopped trying entirely.” 

You found yourself wrapping your arms around his waist and released a soft sigh before smashing your cheek up against his chest. This was the first time in a long time that you actually felt genuinely content. Mark’s arms always made you feel so safe; so secure and so at ease. He didn’t hesitate to place his chin on the top of your head while tightening his already unyielding hold around your hips. 

“I missed you more than I can explain in words. I meant what I said Mark—I’ve loved you since I was eight years old. I’ve loved you before I even knew what love was and I’m going to love you, for as long as time permits me to. Forever, hopefully. You’re my best friend Mark. I don’t care what happens to me or where I end up in the future. As long as you’re right by my side, I’ll be living a life that I’ve always wanted—that people can only dream of experiencing. We’re going to be just fine my love.” He brought his hand down to your jaw and lifted up your chin so that you were making direct eye contact with him. “You got that right baby. How long do I have you for?”

“A little over a week.” He gave you a knowing look; his eyes were filled with mischief. You were well aware most of your time in New York was going to be spent showing him just how much you loved him and the idea sent warmth to both your chest and in between your thighs. 

“Stay right here, I’m going to have to text Jackson about finding a place to stay—“

“He’s already on it. He wants to give us our time to enjoy one another, just the two of us. In his words, he doesn’t want to miss out on his sleep because apparently you and I are going to be “too loud”. I have no idea what he’s talking about though. I have no intention on being noisy while I’m here—“ 

Mark was quick to lift you up and hoisted you on top of his left thigh; his movements were quick. Soon you were being thrown on top of his bed as he began leaving sloppy and all but gentle kisses all around your bare skin. He lowered himself on top of you, pressing his pelvis right on top of yours in attempts to let you know what he had planned for the both of you in just a few moments. 

“I went four months without making love to my beautiful baby. You know how many times I’ve found myself jacking off to photos of you? I miss when we used to have cyber sex—fuck why did we ever stop? I can still picturing you fingering yourself, pretending it was me. You looked so fucking sexy and although it wasn’t the same as when you suck me off or ride my cock like the professional cowgirl you are, I came in less than five minutes just hearing your breathless moans as you tried to get yourself off. Trust me when I say this, you won’t be getting any sightseeing completed at all while you’re here. I’m going to make sure your legs are practically jello once I show you just how much I’ve missed this perfect body of yours. I don’t know if Jackson told you, but we’re actually on probation for being loud because of BamBam and Yugyeom. I’m confident I’m going to get kicked out here with how loud I’m going to make you sing for me. I can’t wait to rail the shit out of you baby. This pussy is mine. You are mine. Now, sit back y/n and enjoy the ride.” 

Mark wasn’t lying when he said he had every intention on making sure you were immobile. The two of you relished in your love for hours; once you both came down from your highs after one round, the hunger and desire for one another was too strong to quit. You don’t think you’d be able to look in his fridge without remembering how he had you pressed right up against the cool metal, ramming himself inside of you from behind. Four hours later, you both decided to take a break. You had almost two weeks together; you didn’t want to practically be bedridden before you actually got the chance to really spend time exploring New York City together. 

“You never cease to amaze me you know that? Fuck, I could love on your body for the entire day if you’d let me. I guess not having me inside of you for so long made you even more tight. I think your boobies got bigger too—ow! Why do you always get so abusive every single time I appreciate these beautiful breasts of yours? If you’re going to be like this about your mounds, you should hear how obsessed I am with your vagina—“

“Say that word one more time and you won’t get anywhere near it for the rest of my stay.” 

He gave you the most adorable pout before pulling you on top of him. Even if the two of you had just finished having passionate and steamy sex, you could feel your cheeks warm up being pressed up against his bare and sweaty body. He left a wet kiss on the juncture of your neck and looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. 

“I don’t know babe, i could’ve sworn you were begging me to bury my cock deeper inside of you and to eat you out like I mean it less than an hour ago. You’re just as much a nymphomaniac as I am. I honestly can just stay in bed with you for the rest of the evening and just do nothing if that’s alright with you. We could get cleaned up and order some take out. Or if you have even just a tiny bit of energy, we can go out for an hour or so and just enjoy each other’s company.” 

As much as you wanted to go exploring, it was just going to have to wait till tomorrow. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; trying to absorb as much of his warmth as possible before humming softly against his jaw. 

“Let’s stay in. I just want to enjoy this intimate moment with you as much as I can.” He smiled at you lovingly while he brought his fingers in to your hair. 

“I was hoping you’d say that. I want to take advantage of every moment you are naked—as much as I missed you, I don’t miss the hitting. Did you get stronger since the last time I saw you? You’re like bionic now.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and propped yourself on your elbows so that you could get a better look at him. Every time you would look at Mark, it amazed you just how much he changed physically since you first met him yet his childlike personality never faltered. If anything, he became more and more like a child as he got older.

“Mark.”

“Hm?”

“I’m going to marry you one day.” 

Knowing that he was the type to joke around a lot, you were expecting a “matter of a fact” kind of response. However, you weren’t expecting for him to pull you down and reconnect your lips together. Right as you could feel the fire building up in your bones with his feather like yet protective touch, he leaned away and looked up with you with a glint in his eye. 

“Hey—I’m the one supposed to be telling you that!” 

You yelped when he all but gently squeezed your butt. The thought of marrying the beautiful boy underneath you has been on your mind since the day he told you he had his mom take out the raisins from her oatmeal cookies because you weren’t a fan of them. Sometimes, your relationship felt too good to be true. Even if you hit a bump in the road, it only made you realize that no matter what were to happen between the two of you, your love for Mark and his love for you would never falter. He was everything in a significant other most girls could only dream about having in theirs. Mark Tuan was an ethereal being; his name was forever engraved on to your heart. 

“I don’t know when exactly—maybe when we’re just a little bit older, but I can’t wait to marry you y/n. You’ve had my heart for over a decade now—it’s yours for the next ten decades.”

“That’s a hundred years Mark. I don’t think either of us are going to live that long—“

“You always seem ruin such romantic moments. I’m telling you that I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. I said what I said my silly girl. You’re stuck with me forever.” 

You beamed up at his words and the two of you continued to lie there in silence; just basking in each other’s presence. To your dismay, Mark flipped your bodies so now he was on top of you but before you could say anything about this new position, you quickly picked up on his now furrowed brows and the way he looked as if he was deep in thought. 

“Hey, everything okay?” 

He gave you a sad smile and nodded hesitantly but you could tell something was obviously bothering him. Just a few moments ago, he was nipping at your jaw while grazing all too close to your core—and now he looked as if he was on the verge of breaking down. What exactly just so happened to pop in to his mind that was causing him so much distress. 

“Mark—we said we would work on our communication. I know something is bothering you. Talk to me baby.”

“It’s nothing really—well—God, I feel so stupid for having to ask you this. That Jaebeom kid, he uh—I wouldn’t be surprised if he did I mean look at you—but, he didn’t happen to have a crush on you did he?” 

Talking about Jaebeom was bound to happen sooner or later. Images of his angry expression when he saw the younger boy walk outside in attempts to look for you came rushing back like the night of prom was just yesterday. There was no doubt your boyfriend was a jealous person. You never understood where his jealousy came from; you never gave him a reason to be jealous nor did you think that you attracted anyone other than him until Jaebeom confessed his feelings for you. 

He would get extremely territorial whenever you would hang out with him and his friends. BamBam and Jackson were notorious for being a little too touchy for Mark’s liking when it came to you. Sometimes they would reach for your hand or interlock your arms together in order to get under his skin, but Mark never let them get away with it. You could still remember the way your heart soared when he told you that he was only jealous of other guys because he had a fear that one day, someone might walk in to your life and make you realize that there are more people in this world other than Mark that could get you feeling the way he thought only he was capable of. Your boyfriend was well aware that he was the one that you loved more than anyone else in your life—but it was only natural for his curiosity to get the best of him. 

“He did—he confessed to me right after he asked me to prom. I was quick to tell him I was in a relationship and he was very understanding about it.” 

Mark took in a deep breath and waited a couple of seconds before asking you the question that he’s been dying to know the answer to for the last month. 

“You uh—did you ever have feelings for him at one point? I won’t be mad; I mean, I’ve been absent. I’m sure spending time with someone and getting their attention could cause some feelings to develop. This question has been on my mind since that night. It’s not that I’m questioning your feelings for me—I know in my heart that you love me but I couldn’t find it in myself to stop thinking negatively.” 

A part of you wanted to lie in order to spare his feelings. He may have said he wouldn’t be mad if you were to tell him that yes—you had feelings for Jaebeom at one point or at least felt like you did; but this was Mark you were talking about. He would be devastated to hear that your heart wavered even just for a split second and you didn’t want to do that to him. The idea of hurting him sent a painful sensation to your chest. Mark was nothing less than perfect to you in all your years of knowing him for. 

These last few months might not have been ideal and honestly you could do without them, but at the same time—the turmoil was a blessing in disguise. Maybe the two of you needed this distance; this break in order to come to the acceptance that neither of you were going anywhere. However, the realist in you was well aware that there was no point in lying. 

For all you knew, Mark probably felt it in either his heart or his mind that you could have at least felt something towards Jaebeom. It wasn’t impossible; it was common for people in relationships to harbor feelings for someone else. Especially someone they’re close to and spend most of their time with. He hated the thought that you began liking Jaebeom more and more every day considering that your communication levels weren’t all that good. What person in their right mind would genuinely be okay with knowing that their significant other had someone else on their mind—someone that they saw almost every single day? Mark wasn’t too sure just how close the two of you were and he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to know. 

“At one point, yes. I did. But let me start off by saying this; just because I felt like I had some kind of feelings for him at one point doesn’t mean I loved you any less. Like you said, it could have been because he was giving me the attention I wasn’t receiving from you. He was taking care of me; he held me on the days that I cried because of school and our failing relationship. He’d buy me pastries if he saw that I wasn’t eating and he’d buy me coffee now and then—but I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. I guess I just really missed you; I missed you like fucking crazy Mark and for the time being, Jaebeom was helping me take my mind off of your absence. I will admit, I felt terrible when I told him I didn’t reciprocate his feelings only because he’s such an amazing friend, but no matter how kind he is, how much he cares for me or how attractive he is—“

“He wasn’t all that good looking honestly he was a solid three on a scale from one to ten you’re just saying that to make me jealous—“ You brought your hand up to his mouth in order to silence him but he licked a stripe along your skin. 

“Will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to tell you that there’s nobody else for me but you asshole. I’m too blinded by the love I have for you to even look or think about anybody else. Jaebeom is an amazing friend, but that is all he’s ever going to be to me. You consumed every single part of me; like the ocean. I feel like I’m drowning in your love, but I never want to be saved. I just want to keep losing myself in you and the love you have for me. I’m honestly so glad Jackson is a very considerate friend—I got horny just thinking about how much I love you.” 

His laughter immediately filled up the room; a sound you were going to take advantage of for the next week and a half. It wasn’t the same hearing it through a screen—it was much more vibrant and full of excitement and it made your tummy swarm with butterflies. 

“You’re insatiable, what am I going to do with you?”

“Anything you want to.”

When the two of you were finally done making up for lost time up against almost every surface in his dorm, you finally gave in and tapped out. You could feel your eyes closing and sleep was right around the corner ready to take over you completely. 

“Should I start ordering us some food?” You slowly shook your head and made yourself comfortable pressed up against his chest. He began leaving soft kisses in your hair while dragging his fingers along the expanse of your back. 

“I’m so tired. I think the jet lag is catching up to me.”

“No, I think it’s the six hours of nonstop sex we just accomplished. But that’s fine—maybe I’ll wake up earlier and prepare you some breakfast in bed. Or, I can have you for breakfast in bed—almost ten years of this abuse you would think I would know when to prepare myself. Mmm—I love you y/n, I’m so fucking happy you’re here. Thank you for coming back to me.” 

In the two weeks that you were in New York for, Mark took you to almost every single place you’ve been wanting to go to. You didn’t think you were capable of walking so many miles; especially since you were sore practically every single day. Mark wasn’t lying when he said he planned on having you each day you were there for. On the days he had work or practice, you’d stay back at his apartment and just watch a couple of movies or play some video games on his Xbox. Sometimes you would go around with Jackson; sightseeing and shopping for some gifts to bring back home. 

When Mark finished his duties or on the days he was off, he would take you exploring throughout the city, showing you everything New York had to offer. He made sure to keep you energized by purchasing you coffee right before the two of you were to return back to his apartment. He didn’t know when the next time he was going to see you would be, so he wanted to make every moment with you count—even if that meant having to stay up till the wee hours of the morning to have him blow your back out. 

Unfortunately, just like the last time you were in New York, your visit was quick to end just as immediate as it was to arrive. 24 hours seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes any time it was spent with Mark yet they seemed to drag on whenever the two of you were apart. The tears wouldn’t stop falling from your face when he brought you to the airport. He held you close to his body and placed his head against yours as he tried his best to keep your cries soft—not wanting to bother the cab driver. 

He was also secretly tearing up himself; he had one of the best weeks of his life with you and now he had to let you go again. If he had the choice, he’d be heading back to California with you permanently. It was selfish of him, but he even contemplated on hiding your luggage or even stealing your plane ticket so that you’d have no choice but to stay with him. Once the driver pulled up to the airport, he helped you take your luggage from out of the trunk while you and Mark said your goodbyes to each other. 

“Hey—baby, we’re going to be just fine. I mean it this time. I’m gonna do better for you. I don’t care how tired I am—hell, you’re probably going to get tired of my constant phone calls and text messages but I promise you that I’m going to do my best to make sure to put in just as much effort in to this relationship as you do. I know how it feels to lose you and fuck, I never want to feel something so painful like that ever again. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go without having you with me—so expect me to come make a trip to visit you here soon. I love you y/n—God, I can’t even describe to you just how much I love you. Love isn’t even a good enough word to describe what I feel for you—what you mean to me. Fuck, I’m going to miss you so much. Let me know as soon you land and when you get home please? Take good care of yourself and I expect at least three nudes a day—fine two—y/n I’m trying to lighten the mood you know I hate seeing you so sad—I also hate not getting to show my love and appreciation for your perfect body—just wait till I get my hands on you next time I won’t go easy on you. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you.” 

Leaving Mark was always the hardest thing you had to do other than getting used to looking through a computer and phone screen to see him when you just had him around physically to hold to and to kiss you. He kept his promise in working on and bettering his communication with you. Everything slowly started falling in place for you and you were more than happy with how your relationship was going. Mark made a few trips to California during his downtime. 

Although most of his time was spent going on cute little dates with you and just spending quality time together, he did meet up with some of his friends from high school to catch up and made sure to visit his parents a couple of times. He even asked to meet Jaebeom properly; he wanted to apologize for being such an ass towards him on the night of your junior prom and he wanted to thank him for taking care of you while he was away. Mark still was trying to accept the idea of your friendship with Jaebeom, but he trusted you with every fiber of his being. 

You were surprised that it didn’t take either of them too long to find some common ground; their main purpose both being your well-being and your happiness was something they had in common. Mark actually found it quite interesting that Jaebeom was a dancer and they went back and forth about their passion for crime investigation documentaries. It wasn’t something that happened overnight; Jaebeom was still upset with Mark for being the reason behind your tears, but he was well aware that it wasn’t his business to get involved in. 

At the end of the day, you were just grateful that Mark accepted your friendship with Jaebeom for what it was because you knew you would of fell apart in these last few months if it weren’t for him. Everyone in your life—your boyfriend, your parents, your teachers and some of your friends who have graduated never failed to remind you that senior year would practically flash before your eyes. It had to be the best year of your educational career so far; there were so many different activities for seniors to participate in which Jaebeom coerced you in to doing a lot of things you would have never saw yourself signing up for. Flag football, tug-of-war, paintball, spirit week, homecoming; you were never one to find yourself in a situation where you’d get involved in school activities, but it was your last year in high school and you wanted to make the most of it. 

At one point, you didn’t care about anything other than wanting to hurry up and graduate already. You didn’t want to be the kind of person to make a decision for your life based on your significant other, but you wanted to be with Mark. He was definitely speechless when you told him you applied to the university of New York—only because he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do that for him, even if deep down he was secretly hoping you would. The university was amazing nonetheless, but your boyfriend knew there were many other colleges that had better programs for the field you were interested in joining. However, he was extremely thrilled and very outspoken about how excited he was when you opened the letter of acceptance in to the university. 

Right after you received the letter, you and Mark began planning on how he would let Jackson down gently about having to move out. As much as you couldn’t wait to finally get to have him around, you didn’t want to kick Jackson out of their dorm. It was just as much his place as it was Mark’s. That’s when you came up with the idea to move in to an apartment together. It was still a few months away, but Mark couldn’t keep in his excitement at the thought of waking up to your beautiful face every morning and getting to go to bed every night with you wrapped in his embrace. 

He began the search of apartments in the area of the university so that it would be easier for the both of you to walk rather than to waste money on transportation. The months came and went; studying for tests on top of working almost every day in order to save up for after graduation took up most of your time. Mark was very good about calling you right before he’d head out for school or once he arrived back after work or practice. It was hard to believe that you ever questioned his love for you seeing as how he could not stop reminding you that he couldn’t wait to spend forever with you. 

The last month of your senior year arrived before you could even comprehend that you were only a month away from becoming a high school graduate—and so did your boyfriend. Although you told him time and time again that you would prefer he didn’t surprise you, your soul practically left your body when you returned home from work one day to find him sitting on your bed like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Mark, babe what the fuck are you doing here?” 

You wasted no time in throwing yourself at him and bringing your lips to his. Tonight in particular was one of the most stressful days at work you had so far and all you really wanted to do was change out of your clothes and go to sleep. Seeing Mark only broke you out of your exhaustion and the huge grin that rose on your face didn’t seem as if it was going to falter at all any time soon. 

“Did you really think I would let you go to prom with someone else other than me again? Did I not tell you how badly I wanted to rip that dress off of you and how extremely lethal you looked in it? I want to be the one to experience your magical night with you—and trust me, it’ll be even more magical once we head back to the hotel room right after—it’s like you live to torture me and not in the ways I’d prefer you would.” He began rubbing the side of his shoulder where you gently shoved him before playfully pinching your cheek. 

“Anyways, I already bought a tux, you just have to tell me what color tie to get. Oh—and I’m here till the end of summer baby, so I’ll be here to watch you graduate and I’ll be here to help you get all your things ready for New York. I still can’t completely process that I get to go back to school with you alongside of me. I’m so fucking happy, you don’t understand—and we get to live together. You know what that means.” He began to wiggle his brows and you couldn’t help but laugh at his nonchalant hint towards the activities he had in mind once you started living together. 

“Hey, I’m coming to New York for college, not to focus specifically on our sex life—“

“I know that babe, but making love to you is my favorite past time and now we’re going to have more chances in doing so—“

“You know Mark, I think there’s still some time left for me to accept UCLA—“

“You wouldn’t dare. You miss me just as much as I miss you—I meant it more than sexually. I just really can’t wait to have you around more often. There are days that are so shitty for me sometimes and all I want to do is have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. We’re going to get a sneak peak at what the rest of our lives together is going to be like and I can’t wait to share that experience together with you. Now, if you’d be ever so kind, I travelled all the way here to be with you. The least you can do is show me some hospitality and maybe suck me dry? Don’t look at me like that babe IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS.” 

You continued to keep the facade that you weren’t in the mood to do anything just to mess with him—although you were tired, Mark just had that effect on you. If you were ready for bed right as you were coming home, you were now ready to do whatever it was he asked of you. Since your parents were right downstairs, the both of you had to do your best to get reacquainted with one another as quietly as possible. For a little over two hours, you and your boyfriend experimented in different positions; his lips and tongue mapped its territory all along your breasts, neck, thighs, waist and right above your soaking entrance. It was honestly quite the task trying to keep your moans at bay; especially because your love making sessions only became more vocal the longer the two of you were away from each other. 

“I’ve missed you.” He pulled you on top of him once you both came down from your highs and left a wet kiss right below your ear. 

“I’ve missed you more. I still can’t believe you’re here and I get to have you for until I leave.” 

The rest of your evening was spent updating each other on what’s been going on in both of your lives until he fell asleep. For the rest of that week, he followed you around like a lost puppy on the days that you weren’t at work or school. You were sure most people would get tired of the clinginess and the fact that he always wanted to be with you, but it was something you genuinely enjoyed. Not once did you ever not want Mark around you—in fact you were just as tenacious when it came to him. 

Mark was more than happy to be home this time around; all his friends were also home for the summer and it felt like to good old times for him. Before you could even think about how many days you had left until graduation, senior prom came in the blink of an eye. Mark looked as handsome as ever; his hair was slicked back in a way you weren’t used to, but you knew you were going to nag him in to styling it like this all the time. He also looked very classy in his tux and you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that his dad probably had to help him out with his tie. Your boyfriend was twenty-years-old yet he still had no clue how to fold a tie all that well. 

“Baby, I can’t get over how fucking beautiful you are. God, I can’t stop staring at you. You’re giving all of your classmates here a run for their money.” 

The night went by quicker than you would have liked; but that was because it was so much fun. Mark, like he always seemed to be was nothing short of a perfect gentleman. He made sure your night was going well by taking care of you like it was his life duty. Whenever you wanted to go talk with some of your friends at their tables, or if you had to use the bathroom, he held your things—when it got cold in the ballroom, he placed his suit jacket on your shoulders. He brought you out to the dance floor even against your many pleas because he wanted to make sure you had the time of your life. As he spun you around ever so lightly and placed his chin on your forehead, you knew that night was one of the best nights of your entire life. 

“You know the next time I’ll get to have you like this—looking effortlessly stunning and dancing with you like we’re the only two people here, you’ll be Mrs.Mark Tuan.” 

You couldn’t feel warmth fill up your entire body; his words sent fire to your bones and the thought of getting to marry him never failed to make you blush like a school girl who was approached by her crush. You looked up at him and stole a sweet kiss from the corner of his mouth before hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

“I’ll be waiting patiently for that day, but just know—I can’t wait.” 

As soon as prom was finished, your boyfriend carried you bridal style up to the hotel room he rented for the both of you with the idea of showing you exactly what torture you caused him looking as “sexy” and “otherworldly” as you did that night. 

Graduation came less than two weeks later and as much as you couldn’t wait to finally move on to the next chapter of your life, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t going to miss being in high school. Just like most boyfriends would in order to embarrass their girlfriends; Mark had an entire banner made for you and assigned all of his friends to hold it up for you during the ceremony and afterwards while waiting for you to walk out on the field. 

You tried your best to stifle back a laugh at how crooked it was; Yugyeom practically towered over his older friends and it only made this event all the more memorable. Right as your principal called your name, gave you your honors chords and your certificate, you could hear your name being shouted from the back of the auditorium and you were sure you would melt on the spot seeing your boyfriend look at you as if you were the most ethereal goddess to exist. Unlike all of your other classmates who stayed a little while to talk to each other about their plans after high school, you made a beeline to where you knew your boyfriend, family and friends were waiting to congratulate you. 

“There’s my beautiful college graduate. You’re glowing baby. I’m so happy for you.” He pulled you in to a tight hug but before he could even kiss you, you were being yanked in every other direction by your family. 

“My youngest baby is a high school graduate and now she’s going off to college. You know y/n, there are many amazing colleges here in California. You can save your money and continue living with your father and I—“ You felt Mark wrap his hand around your waist as he took his place right next to you. He got along really well with your parents. Sometimes you felt as if they preferred him over you only because he knew the exact words to say to flatter your mom and to impress your dad. They were very good in treating him like family. However, you could tell by the tight grip that he wasn’t too fond of what your mom was trying to talk you in to doing. 

“Don’t worry Mrs.y/l/n, your daughter is in good hands. She always has been and always will be. I’ll take good care of her, I promise.” 

After saying your goodbyes to all of your relatives who flew down just to be there for your graduation, you made your way back towards Mark and his friends. BamBam and Yugyeom picked you up and spun you around while Jackson and Jinyoung pulled you against their chests and ruffled with your hair. 

“Finally! You get to come up and experience what college is actually like—that’s if lover boy here ever let’s you come out with us.”

“In your dreams losers. You got me in trouble twice for shit I didn’t even do. I’m not letting you corrupt my sweet, innocent girlfriend—“

“Y/n? Innocent? Hahaha! Don’t make us laugh. Y/n is the furthest thing from innocent. My ears are still so sore from all her screams and moans that one night I came back to our dorm to pick up some clothes while she was there. By the way, as much as I like you y/n, I’m not all that happy you’re stealing my roommate. I hope Mark knows that I should get ultimate dibs on being his best man because of it. Speaking of which, did you finally get around to asking her—ah, asking her about the color to paint your room. I think we should get going now guys, let’s allow these two lovebirds to celebrate on their own. Congratulations again y/n!” 

You’ve known Mark’s friends for quite some time now; Jackson knew something that he wasn’t supposed to tell you. The five of them were never good with keeping secrets nor were they ever good at telling lies. You didn’t have to look at Mark to know he wasn’t all too happy with Jackson; nor did you want to aggravate him even more by asking him the many questions that were on your mind. The main question being what exactly did he have yet to get around asking you? 

You knew it wasn’t just a question about your soon to be apartment together and you now you were dying to know exactly what Jackson was referring to. Oh well, it was just going to have to wait till you could find a time that Mark wasn’t around for you to ask. Summer was always your favorite season; there was so much for you to do. You decided to take a break from work in order to spend as much time with your family before having to move to New York. 

Most days, you and Mark would go around California; heading to all your favorite places together and even finding new places to make memories at. You also made sure to save some time to spend with Jaebeom seeing as how you were both going your separate ways. As much as he loved America, he missed his friends and family back in Korea. These last two years were meant specifically for him to learn English and to pick up on American culture. You knew you were going to do your best with keeping in touch with him. 

Out of all your friends, Jaebeom was one you saw being in your life for a very long time. Your relationship with your parents also grew stronger; mainly because it was just the three of you now and soon it was just going to be the two of them. To your dismay, when you got to hang out with Mark’s friends again and even when you got Jackson alone, he pretended as if he had no clue what you were talking about when you asked him what he meant back at your graduation. 

The truth was going to come out sooner or later, so you were just going to have to wait—no matter how much the curiosity was eating away at you. May, June and July never seemed to fly as quickly as they did but before you knew it, you were packing away everything you needed for college. Deep down, you were sad knowing that you were moving out of the house. You’ve been around your parents for your entire life, you weren’t sure if you were ready to live without them. Hell, your mom still made your appointments for you and even when you were to move thousands of miles away, you were sure she’d still be taking care of your responsibilities for you. 

“Make sure to call me as soon as you land. And please, call me at least five times a day. Remember, you can can always come back home—“

“Mom—“

“If you ever need me I can fly up there and—“

“Mom—“

“Even if you need to take a break, I am totally fine with you taking a year off—“

“Mom, I’ll be fine. I’m in good hands, remember?” 

You turned to look at your boyfriend putting your luggage in the back of his truck and returned his smile when he caught you looking at him. Tears started to build up at your eyelids as you looked at your mom trying her best to fight back her tears. 

“I’ll always be your little girl, don’t ever forget that. College will go by faster than we think and Mark and I plan on returning back to California once I graduate. It’s not goodbye mom, it’s just a see you later. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much.” 

Saying goodbye to your parents was harder than you thought it would be. In fact, your boyfriend had to pull to the side in order to console you and comfort you as you cried. He left gentle kisses on your forehead while he ran his hands through your hair. It didn’t take long for you to calm down, especially because Mark was really good in giving you time to let it all out before reminding you that everything was going to be okay. You were reminded of how hard it must have been for him having to leave two years ago, but now you were finally going to be together permanently. 

Mark’s touch was so comforting; you could tell he wanted to be there for you yet he also wanted to give you some space. He did everything for the both of you; brought both his and your luggage’s to security and got them checked in, found your gate and had you sit down so he could go purchase some snacks for the ride. You didn’t realize just how tired you were until you knocked out only minutes after getting settled on the plane. This meant that you weren’t able to see the way Mark was looking at you so adoringly; but it’s not something you weren’t used to. He looked at you that way all the time. You felt a gentle push on your shoulder and a few wet kisses scatter along your face and you had a feeling Mark was trying to wake you up. 

“Baby, time to get up. We’re here.” 

A huge part of you was still pretty sad that you were no longer in California, but the hand that was tightly holding yours as you were being guided through the airport reminded you as to why you were doing this. Looking at Mark right now; you never felt more at home than you did at this moment. It didn’t matter where you were, your heart was always so full having him with you. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. Getting settled in to your new apartment was a foreign feeling. Mark actually had everything set up for the both of you before he even left for California. 

You were very grateful that he was so patient and understanding with you; but it didn’t take long for you to get used to New York City and living with your boyfriend. It was actually everything you could ever hope it would be. He allowed you to make the decisions on how you wanted the place to look like. 

The apartment was shockingly very spacious; and he actually had purchased quite a lot of furniture. You were shocked to see just how nice the place actually was—you didn’t think Mark was capable of being an interior designer, but you decided to keep the place looking the way it did. Your bedroom had to be your favorite place in the unit, he had a couple of photos of the two of you scattered throughout the room and separated both your sides of the closet and on the bathroom sink. 

He put so much effort in to making sure you were content and it only made your feelings for the older boy grow stronger if it was even possible. College wasn’t at all what you were expecting it to be and you were silently cursing all of Mark’s friends for telling you that it was such a fun experience. Mark introduced you to a couple of his teammates and a few friends he’s made in the last two years while giving you a tour of the campus and showing you where your classes were. You ended up getting a job at your school’s library in order to help Mark pay for the rent and other necessities. 

Even if it was just your first year in college, there were days you would find yourself crying because of how strenuous the work load was on top of having to work. There were also days where Mark was constantly at work, practice or school and you didn’t want to put even more stress on him knowing how exhausted he would be whenever he’d come home. 

One night, he texted you saying he would be coming home late in order to pick up this week’a groceries. You didn’t think much of it; although, normally the two of you would go together so that you both could get the things you either needed or simply just wanted. Your boyfriend also had a bad habit of buying a bunch of unnecessary items he never needed, so you tried your best to make sure you’d be there with him. But this week, you’ve been picking up a lot of late night shifts and Mark could tell the last thing you wanted to do was go grocery shopping, no matter how much you enjoyed doing something so domestic with him. 

When you reached your apartment, you saw his shoes in the cubby hole and his backpack by the counter—so you knew he was home. Everything seemed put away; you checked the fridge and all the shelves were filled with different kinds of food and drinks. He also got the essentials; dishwashing liquid, laundry soap, dryer sheets, shampoo and conditioner. Something didn’t feel right though; normally, he would be out in the living room playing video games or doing his work at the dining table. 

Maybe he was tired; you still couldn’t understand how he could manage five classes a week, playing sports for hours on end and going straight to work right after only to come home like he had all the energy in the world. Right as you were about to look around for him, you saw a crumpled paper in the corner of your eye which you assumed to be the receipt. 

Curiosity got the best of you—he always paid for the groceries no matter how many times you’d tell him to split the bill. In fact, he would pay for pretty much anything and told you to save your money to buy things you wanted to. It was hard accepting the fact that he did all of this for you—sacrificed so much for you because he loved you with his entire being only because you didn’t feel like you deserved any of it. If anything, he was the one who deserved so much more than what you could give him. When you scanned the receipt, everything seemed perfectly normal—he purchased every item the two of you would normally buy. 

However, towards the bottom of the list you saw something that made you confused, yet you let out a little giggle. 

“Mark!” You began walking towards your bedroom in the hopes of getting an explanation as to why he felt the need to buy his favorite cookies in bulk. 

“Babe, I know you love nutter butter, but eight packages? Are you preparing for an apocalypse or something—oh my God.” 

Your question was answered as soon as you opened the door. There, in all of his devastatingly handsome glory, your boyfriend of ten years, down on one knee with a red box in his hand and a tray of nutter butter on the bed spelling out the words “will you marry me?” There were roses scattered all over the ground and candles spread throughout the room. Your heart was racing faster that it ever has in your entire life. 

“Mark—“

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

The smile on his face was barely reaching his eyes and you could tell it was because he was nervous. He was shaking and he looked like he was on the verge of throwing up; you couldn’t understand why though. Sure, marriage proposals were always so nerve wrecking, but he should already know the answer. You slowly walked toward him and gently kneeled to his level while cupping his cheeks in your hands. 

“I know this isn’t as romantic as you probably would have wanted it to be. Trust me, I planned out many different scenarios about how this was going to pan out. The guys told me to take you to a beach, or a fancy restaurant but I thought this would be more meaningful. I mean, I realized you were someone special to me when I shared my nutter butter with you over thirteen years ago. You know you are the only person I would do such a thing for—you’re the only person I’d do anything for. I’d give you my kidney if you needed it. I know—we’re still so young to be getting married, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what the word love meant. I’d tell my parents I loved them; I told each and every one of my siblings that I loved them—but with you, it was a different kind of love. It was the kind of love that—I don’t know, my heart always felt so happy and so full every minute I spent with you. You showed me what love is—you made me feel loved and cared for in ways that I don’t think I could ever be able to thank you for doing. You are the most beautiful, funny, charismatic, intelligent, wonderful and honestly perfect human being to walk this earth. God—I can’t even—I’m so fucking in love with you. We’ve had a few ups and downs, but it only made me realize that you are the only person I want to go through hell and back with. You and I are soulmates baby, there’s no doubt about it. I’ve been blessed to have you in my life for almost fifteen years now and I can’t wait to spend an eternity with you. Y/n, will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

[100layersofdaddyissues]

Angel - Chapter 4

alright my pedrhoes kits heres, this ones a bit shorter, kind of a filler chapter. 

warnings: angst, no smut this chapter, just pining and angst, im trying to do rach proud. 

Masterlist

The next few weeks went by with you trying your best to disconnect your emotions from your situation with Max. You focused on getting your workload handled, and giving Max the best head to hopefully deflect from the fact that, as you had unfortunately found out recently, you think you were falling for Max. 

        Admittedly, you didn’t see this coming, not from a mile away. You’d sleep with plenty of men to get their money, you never fell for them, you never even really cared for them. But here you were, so totally infatuated with Max that you were starting to worry about how this might affect your work if he found out, or your living situation. You've been paying the rent at your old apartment since you started working for Max, always ready for the worst case.         And here you were, three weeks since the gala, finally on top of your work and beginning work on the next marketing campaign for Lord Industries, you hadn’t really spent much time with Max outside of work and sex, but you figured that’s how he liked it, he didn’t ask you to spend time outside of that, so you guessed he really had no interest in spending time with you outside of that.         You were sat on the phone with the marketing team in the LA sector of the company, giving them a briefing for what you intended this campaign to be.         “Listen I don’t care how hard this is for you Matilda, this is one of the biggest campaigns we're going to run this year and if you’re not up to it I’m more than happy to advise Maxwell on your capacity. Neither of us want that but this has to go smoothly and if it doesn’t both of our heads will roll. Now, can you get the networks to agree to run the advertisement by next week?” you hadn’t realised how bossy you could be until you began working as the head of the department, you didn’t like it but Max enjoyed watching you bust balls, he’d never admit it, but he found so much joy in knowing that such a dominant woman was at his mercy in the bedroom.         “Yes ma’am” Matilda's voice quivered a moment and you felt so bad, but you weren’t joking, if this campaign had any kinks you were both going down for it, and you had no intention of allowing that to happen.         “Thank you, Matilda, call me if there’s anything you need a hand with.” you called down the phone just before you were abruptly hung up on.         Truth be told you didn’t know if you were handling everything the way you should be. Jade seemed to think it would be best for you to tell Maxwell how you were feeling but the moment she brought up the idea you promptly shut it down by reminding her that she didn’t know Max. But you had to admit, it was getting harder not to tell him. Not to let it slip while he was fucking you, three words and you could turn fucking into making love, but you weren’t even ready to say those three words in your mind let alone to Maxwells face. You didn’t dare think how that would go down.         Before you could linger on the unholy terror that Maxwell would rain down on you, Sookie was bringing in more notes Maxwell had sent about how he would like the campaign to be run.         “Hey honey, you okay? you look a little stressed.” her tone was sweet but concerned, you hadn’t realised that your emotions were showing on your face. “Yeah, I’m okay I’m just stressing about the new campaign, we have a week, and New York is barely keeping up, LA is slacking and don’t even get me started on the international sectors.” you huffed out, taking the new notes from her.         “I don’t mean to pry but this doesn’t look like your stressed work face, this is new, well not really new, you’ve been wearing the same face since the gala, I just didn’t want to bring it up too soon because I figured it had something to do with Max, but I don’t know how it would involve Max,” you cut her off, she hadn’t realised that she was rambling. She tended to do that a lot. “Sookie, you’re rambling, but seriously I’m ok- wait what did you mean you figured it had something to do with Maxwell” you weren’t sure how she could come to that conclusion, you and Maxwell had only ever been respectful and professional at work, (the meetings in his office not counted, but no one saw those.)         “Oh, uhm, nothing, I don’t even know why I said that.” Sookie was nervous now, and you were damned if you weren’t going to find out why.         “Sookie, why are you nervous, what do you know?” you asked standing from your seat to walk closer to her.         “Nothing, I don’t know anything, I shouldn’t have said anything.”         “Sookie. What do you know?” you pressed her further, you were going to make her break.         “Please just, please don’t tell anyone I told you, Darius would be completely fucked if anyone found out that we talk about you and Maxwell,”         “You and Darius talk about me and Maxwell?!” you almost shouted, but it wasn’t an angered shout, more a nervous one. Why were they talking about you too?         “Yes, well, we didn’t intend to at first, but then it just sort of came up over lunch and then we started connecting the dots, well I did, Darius obviously already knew, but you knew that, and then we just sort of started comparing notes. Darius says he’s never seen Maxwell this happy and confident, and I know I haven’t known you long, but I know the look of a woman whore in love and I’m so sorry if I overstepped but Darius and I we just think you’re both absolutely crazy for not admitting it to each other. I’m sorry I'll stop now.”         Your head was spinning here. Sookie was informing you that she and Darius had been having regular conversations about the nature of your relationship with Max and now you have to try and comprehend the fact that they both know you lo-like Max, and that he likes you too. You had to sit down. You didn’t know what to say, you felt like you had been silent for hours, until Sookie broke the silence by asking if you were okay and if she still had a job. You told her that you were okay and that of course she still had a job you just needed a little time alone. And as she left you did what you’d been doing for the last few weeks, you pushed that shit down and got on with your work.         Or at least that’s what you planned to do.         By the time 5pm rolled around you’d barely made enough progress on the reports, all you could think about was what Sookie said, and trying to figure out if she was telling the truth about Max reciprocating his feelings or if she was trying to save you the embarrassment. And what you were going to do.         You took a cab home that day, opting out of driving with Darius wanting to void Maxwell at all costs. And yet, as you walked in through your door there he was, leaning against your kitchen counter. His head whipped around to look at you, “why didn’t you let Darius drive you home? Why would you take a cab?” not even a hello.         “I just needed to be alone this afternoon. The campaign is really stressing me out and I didn’t want my stress to rub off on you or Darius.” you lied, flopping onto the couch, and closing your eyes. Maxwell came up behind the couch and put his hands on your temples “Oh is my sweet angel feeling stressed, I know just what will help, come on, up.” he said coming around and pulling you off the lounge by your hands. You got up limply, not really wanting to engage Max, you really didn’t want to fuck him right now, but you felt like you had to. To keep your job, your house, your life that you’ve now become accustomed to. And Maxwell sensed this. He had a feeling for about a week that you didn’t want to be in this situation anymore, but quite frankly he didn’t want to lose you. He’d tried becoming a bit more affection, tried to show you that he appreciated you, but he knew he wasn’t doing the best at it, he’d never been affectionate, he didn’t even know why he felt compelled to keep you around, he could lie to himself and say it’s because he didn’t want to risk losing the best employee, he’s ever had but he knew that wasn’t the truth. He knew why he didn’t want to lose you. But he doesn’t believe it. How can he. He was always told that he was incapable of love. Why would you be the change? “Max, I’m sorry I just don’t feel very sexy right now. I don’t know if I can do this. I have so much work to do, but of course you already know that, and I’m not getting enough sleep, and I just, I don’t want to do this. I'm sorry.” you weren’t sure why, but your voice was beginning to shake as you said no to him. Maxwell noticed this, he dropped your hands and stood back, telling you that he wasn’t interested in doing anything if you weren’t comfortable. You sighed a breath of relief. One that did not go unnoticed by Maxwell, one that hurt Maxwell. “What was that? Why did you seem relieved? Like I wouldn’t let you say no? Do you really think that of me?” his tone became more urgent, almost angry. And it scared you. By the time he finished his sentence he was close to yelling and you flinched. “N-no I didn’t think that at all. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that my breathing would come across this way. I’ll be sure not to breathe from now on.” you were getting just as angry as he was acting. “Don’t you dare yell at me! How dare you? Who do you think you are? You do not get to yell at me.” Max’s voice bellowed out across the apartment and if his anger weren’t revving you up you would have been terrified. But right now, all you were, was pissed. “Oh, so you get to yell at me, but I don’t get to yell back. That’s fucking bullshit Max, you don’t get to yell at me if I can’t defend myself.” “I get to yell whenever the fuck I want, I run this city, this fucking country, and you are nothing but a low-level fucking whore. You mean nothing to the world. You mean nothing to me.” Your mother always told you that words could never hurt you, but in that moment, that one sentence broke you both. Max never meant to say it, and you were never supposed to hear those words fall from his lips. But you did, they did, he did. He realised what he said the moment he said it, his face never softening as he walked out of the apartment though, slamming the door behind him. And you broke. You fell to the floor in a fit of sobs and tears, waiting for someone to come and console you. But no one did. You were alone and you were broken on the floor of the apartment owned by Maxwell. The man who just hurt you so much more than you thought you could ever be hurt. But once you were done being angry. You got pissed, angry, so frustrated that you had developed emotions for a man who was clearly using you. You rushed into your room, grabbed a duffle bag and only the essential things you need, only taking what you’d brought with you. And with that, you threw the key to the apartment on the kitchen table, and you left. With no intention of coming back. Your heart had never been heavier, but you walked the streets of dc with your head held high refusing to let some idiot man make you look as broken as you felt. And although your head was high, you weren’t paying attention when someone bumped into you, both of you crashing to the floor. “Y/N?” oh no. you knew that voice. “Hey George, how are you doing.” you said looking up to him. “Well, much better now that I’ve bumped into you. Literally.” George was one of your coworkers at Halo, although he had tried many times to exceed colleague status, he was obsessed with you. It started sweetly bringing you coffee every morning, and lunch when you forgot it, you were grateful for him, he was a really good friend and you trusted him. Unfortunately, you trusted him enough to tell him about your ex. And if he was mad hearing about how they treated you, he got even more mad after telling him that your ex was a woman. He then became obsessed with “fixing you” as he called it, telling you that if you just went on a date with a real man like him you wouldn’t want anything to do with women anymore. Clearly that line did not work. And from then on, he was obsessed with taking you out, asking you every Friday afternoon if you were free that weekend, and every Friday you made up some story about family gatherings, or parties, sleepovers with Jade, you made the mistake of telling him one Friday that you had a date. That didn’t go down well. “So how have you been Sweetness, we haven’t heard anything from you since you left us in the lurch. I don’t blame you if I could get out after all that shit with Henry and his dad went down I would too, and now you’re in charge of marketing for Lord? That’s fucking insane. You’re so lucky.” George’s voice was dripping with disdain and yet he also sounded like he was trying to seduce you. “Yeah, it’s been crazy, do you mind if we walk and talk, I’ve got to get back to my apartment.” you wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. “Yeah yeah of course, why are you out at this time anyway? It’s not safe for a little lady like you.” god you fucking hate this guy “I’m just coming from my boyfriend’s, he had to go to work and I didn’t want to stay in that big old apartment by myself, so I thought I’d head home, and it’s such a nice night I thought I’d walk.” you don’t know why you said you were coming from your boyfriend’s, but it was the first thing you thought of. “Well here, let me walk you home. Are you still in the same place?” you nodded and knowing George he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you let him walk you home. That night you fell asleep to the thought that Maxwell truly did not care about you like you’d hoped he did. But you didn’t know that he had walked back into that apartment, he fell to his knees when he realised that you weren’t there. He fucked up. And there was nothing he could do to fix it. 

tags: @innerstrawberrypolice​ @maxlordsgf​ @mrschiltoncat​ @historianwithaheart​

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Surprises (18)

And here is the next one! This might feel like a bit of a filler chapter but this is just what my brain wanted me to have for this one so I’m sorry if it’s not the best:)

Warning: just a little hint at characters self hate/struggles but only a tad. Also some implied sexy times at the end of the chap.

Surprises Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

Yet another Noorhelm gif because softness.

---------

Elain watched as Azriel got more and more frustrated trying to walk on his prosthetic. He’d been fitted for it a few weeks ago now and was told by prosthetist to make sure he used it around the house, and when he was confident and comfortable enough, he could start going out with it. The process was difficult to say the least, especially when he’d first tried walking to kitchen by himself. She told him that time that she wouldn’t look because she didn’t want him to feel pressured or like he had to do it to impress her. Azriel had fallen half way there, putting all of his weight on the leg by accident, and had broken down on the floor of the hallway. Elain’s heart had broken at the sight, holding back tears when he sneered at her, saying he didn’t want nor need her help. She’d called for Cassian and when he’d come to help she disappeared to lie down for a little while, now starting to feel tired all of the time. When she’d woken, Azriel was laying in front of her, fingers stroking down the side of her face and curling around her ear, apologising for being an asshole.

Now, he was testing himself in the garden, pushing himself to try and walk down the few steps from the decking and onto the grass. Elain walked forward when he cursed again, backing out once again from stepping down, holding her hand out to him. He eyed her hesitantly for a moment before sighing, taking her hand to interlace their finger, and only then did he take that first step, Elain right by his side. When they were finally on the grass, they walked together slowly over to the picnic table, sitting in a peaceful silence together. She was happy, just to sit there with him, pressed into his side with his scarred hands holding her own in his lap. After a while, he shifted to his left slightly, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her lips and pressing their foreheads together and mumbling into the space between them. “I really thought I could do it by myself that time.”

Elain stared at him, smiling gently. “You’ll get there, it takes time remember? It’s okay to accept help sometimes you know, it doesn’t make you weak, Az.”

“I know, I just...” He trailed off, eyes fluttering closed and she rubbed her nose against his softly, watching the way his mouth quirked up at the corners.

“You just what?”

“You’re over five months pregnant now, Ellie. I want to be able to move around on my own, to actually do things independently again. I want to be able to actually help you when she’s finally here, to get up in the night when she’s crying so that you can rest. I’m her father, I’m supposed to fucking take care of her too.” There were tears falling down his cheeks and she brushed them away gently before holding his face in her hands.

“You will, you will be able to do those things. And even when you can’t, even when I can’t, we have a big family in that house who want to help. Please, stop this self hating you have going on, thinking that I’m upset. I don’t fucking care about any of it, I’m just glad you’re actually here, that I didn’t lose you because of my asshole father.” Once upon a time she loved her father with everything she had. She loved the man who used to read her stories before bed, the man who made silly faces whenever she fell and scraped her knees. Most of all she missed the man who loved her back. But then her mother died and all of that disappeared, and Nesta was basically left to raise her and Feyre on her own. Giving Nesta everything she wanted most in the world could not repay her for she did, for the childhood she gave up for them.

“Is there any news on your father yet?” Azriel asked her gently, hand and eyes resting on her stomach, feeling as his hellish daughter kicked Elain again. She always got very excited when he put his hand to her bump, like she knew the difference between who was holding her. It would explain why when Cassian always asked to feel, the troublemaker would stop kicking and make Cass pout sadly; messing with her Uncle already.

“Nope, absolutely nothing. The police still can’t figure out where he’s gone and they keep asking us if we know where he might be. I haven’t got a clue and it’s starting to piss me off. He almost killed the three of you, you lost your leg, he should be punished for it the coward.” His hand moved up so that his thumb could smooth along her cheekbone, it was only then that she realised she was crying. Again. Honestly she’d had enough of these ridiculous hormones, making her show every damn emotion against her will. Az opened his mouth to speak, no doubt to soothe her, but suddenly there was a bang from inside and muffled yelling. The two moved as fast as his leg would allow, but he seemed to move with ease now that he wasn’t so focused on it. Making their way through the kitchen once they were inside, the two stopped in the doorway to the living room, Az blocking the space which forced Elain to stand on her tiptoes to peer over his shoulder. She honestly didn’t know what to make of the sight before her.

There was a beautiful gold haired girl in the middle of the room, face full of anger but also a little bit of sadness, throwing random objects at both Cass and Rhys. The former tried to hide behind Nesta, who kept shoving him away in annoyance. The former seemed to have accepted his fate, standing still and catching each item the girl threw at him.

“You absolute fuckheads! I haven’t heard from any of you in weeks, you left me stuck in that stupid boarding school with nothing! I got back from France last week, planning to surprise you all, so I went to your mother at the hospital to ask her where you all were.” Mystery girl threw a book at Rhys, which Elain realised was her new gardening book from Az, when he dared to open his mouth and interrupt her. “I am not finished Rhysand! The three of you were in a car accident and you didn’t think to tell me, to let me know you were okay? That’s all your mother got out before I left, coming straight here.” Her girls chest was heaving from her furious ramblings, head twisting at speed to where Elain and Azriel stood when he said gently;

“Mor, calm down would you?” She watched as ‘Mor’ dropped the newest item in her hand, lifting it to cover her mouth, gasping in shock when she trailed her eyes over him. She made to move towards him, arms open as if she were going to hug him, but for some reason Elain didn’t like the thought of that considering she didn’t know the other girl. Stepping forward, Elain took his hand in one of her own again and interlaced their fingers. Mor stopped at the gesture, eyes dropping to Elain’s protruding stomach, widening when she looked back to Azriel.

“Tell me that you did not go and get a girl pregnant, please tell me that is not what I am seeing right now.” Elain glared at her, pressing herself closer to him, relishing in his warmth. He looked down at her, eye warm and smile soft, not looking away from her as he declared.

“Mor, I’d like you to meet Elain. My sunshine, my love and yes, the mother of my child.”

“Why do I always miss everything?” She pouted, before glaring and smacking Azriel in the shoulder. “And that’s for not telling me I’m going to be an auntie for god's sake.” He rolled his eyes, rubbing the spot where she’d hit him.

“Yes, yes, we’re very sorry.”

Rhys muttered across the room, “My cousin ladies and gentlemen. Now you know where my dramatics come from.” Mor scoffed, turning to give him the finger.

“Oh no that’s all you, you are so much worse.”

Feyre laughed, reaching up to gently pat her boyfriend on the head. “Hate to break it to you baby, but you really are worse.” He leaned in to kiss her gently on the nose.

“Cruel, wicked thing.”

Mor gagged and suddenly took Elain’s hand, dragging her away from Azriel and towards the sofa. “Enough of your gross shit Rhys. Now, Elain, tell me all about how that fool managed to sweep you off your feet and I want all the nitty and gritty details.”

Elain did, she told her everything once everyone had fully calmed down, the boys clearly happy and excited to have her home. She told Mor about that first drunken night, and the morning after, how she was so fucking scared. Told her about what Azriel had done on that field when Elain had told him, how he had walked away, leaving her hurt and crying and alone. He went pale at the reminder, reaching for her hand at her other side and apologising once again when Mor called him every name she could think of. Then came talks of her first ultrasound, her little scare and how they’d had to tell everyone, the gender and her father’s outburst. Finally they got to the car crash, forcing Elain to close her eyes at the onslaught of memories, the sight of Cassian broken and sobbing on the hospital floor. When she was done, she looked up to see that Mor had a few tears in her eyes.

“I should have fought harder when my parents told me they were sending me away, I should have done something. I should have been at home where you all needed me, and to save you girls from these blithering idiots, because it’s a miracle none of you have killed them yet.” Nesta chuckled from her seat in the arm chair, Cassian sitting at her feet while she braided his hair.

“Believe me I’ve come close, but there’s still time.” Cass only hummed, eyes closed and Elain had to hold back a giggle at his next words.

“I’ve told you about the dirty talk sweetheart. Those death threats of yours do something to me and you have got to stop doing it in front of people.” Elain’s sister merely pulled on his hair in response, making her boyfriend hiss in pain. She frowned when she finally connected with that first part of what Mor had said, looking at the golden haired girl curiously.

“Why did your parents send you away? You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wish to talk about it.”

The other girl sighed but shook her head, lifting her hand to tuck a few curls behind her ear. “No, no, it’s alright. They had found out that I am very, very much into girls. They thought that maybe by sending me to that stupid school, it would keep me away from ��temptations’ and it would ‘fix’ that part of me.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Why did parents have to be so awful sometimes?

Mor laughed, eyes full of mischief as she smirked. “It’s quite alright. What they didn’t realise was that I was going to meet some very pretty French girls.”

They all stayed together for hours after that, just talking. Elain and her sisters getting to know Mor, while the boys got her caught up with everything while she’d been away. Long after dinner, and when it was finally dark, Elain felt herself begin to fall asleep, head dropping against Az’s shoulder every now and then. She jolted when he stood and put his hand out to her, much like she had earlier in the day. “I think it’s bedtime for you, sunshine.” All she could was nod and take his hand, slowly making herself stand which was something that was becoming a bit of a difficult task. Just as they reached the stairs, she turned her head back to look over her shoulder.

“It was lovely to finally meet you Mor.” The other girl grinned widely.

“And you. Now go get that beauty rest and make that idiot give you all of the massages.” Elain laughed before turning to make her way up the stairs. It took Az a little while longer, but he did it.

When they were finally settled in bed, he rolled carefully onto his side to face her, eyes sparking in the low light. His hand reached for her, bringing her close to him, before he teased her with slow, trailing fingers across her chest. “I’d quite gladly give you a massage, baby.” That devil of a hand dropped to the hem of his shirt that she was wearing, slipping his hand underneath, making goosebumps rise on her skin as it drifted up her stomach, settling on her breast and cupping her firmly. Elain’s breath hitched in her throat, swallowing dryly.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” He leaned in to place hot, opened mouthed kisses along her neck as she wrapped a leg around his hips. She pulled him in close, her own hands grabbing at his shoulders, dragging her nails down his back and revelling in the moan she received in return. His eyes darkened when she brought her face closer, her lips brushing his before she trailed them along his jaw, moving up to his ear and taking the lobe into her mouth and biting gently. Azriel moaned again, pushing his hips into her hers when she whispered against the shell of his ear.

“Do your worst, my love.”

-------

Ah Mor is here! Did you think she wouldn’t be here? She was there in my mind the whole time with this thing in my head about her outing but it just never appeared in the fic. I’m actually sorry it took me this long but, it’s just the way the story went.

Tags: @drunken-starz​ @myfriendscallmeraba  @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll  @stars-falling​ @lacewilde​ @verifiefangirl  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @fancyclodpaintercookie​ @acourtofterrasenandvelaris​ @silver-flames​ @queen-of-glass​ @bamchickawowow​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @sleeping-and-books​ @b00kworm​ @kvi-arts​  @tswaney17​ @awkward-avocado-s​ @courtofjurdan​ @junkiejosten10​ @mu-si-ca-l​ @agem10​ @harmonyindark245​ @slightly-sane-fangirl​ @tanaquilpriscilla​ @my-fan-side​ @whimsyrhys​ @starrynightsbooks @maastrash​ @kendarbahr   @elriel4life​ @illyriangarbage​  @thewayshedreamed​ @snowflakesandstarlight​

[rainandhotchocolate]

Blackout - Part 3

A/N What??? COnsistent posting???? Wild times my friends - hope you enjoy! I know it’s a lot of filler stuff, but I’m kind of enjoying writing the storyline, so I promise Sirius will be in it more next chapter :)

 ~~~

Lily visited almost every day bringing baskets of sweets and books and other memories to try and see if anything was beginning to come back. The healers had been in and out just as frequently, taking tests and checking her injuries. The purple slashes across her stomach were fading but still hurt to sit up if she curved her stomach at all, the bandages needing replacement every eight hours to make sure they didn’t become infected with the curse that had hit her.

The healers had come into the room on the ninth day she was there and sat down in front of her with a look on their faces that made her immediately uncomfortable. They asked Lily if Y/N had any other family and let her stay when she said no, quite sternly.

“So, we wanted to discuss the results of the tests we’ve done over the past few days and we want to reas-,” Turpin started, but Y/N cut him off.

“Please no pleasantries, just lay it on me.” Y/N could feel her whole-body tensing. There was a sickening feeling in her stomach as the three healers and Lily sat and watched her, as if she was a case study.

“Can do,” Turpin smiled at her, “We can determine the differing spells that you were hit with, maledictione pessima, which has caused the injuries on your stomach. There is evidence of the cruciatus curse having caused muscle spasm and tendon tears along your legs. In terms of your memory function, obviously there has been some difficulty remembering more recent events but you have a grasp on who you are and your family history. From what we can tell, it is likely that you were hit with Obliviate but was hit with a reflection of the spell, and likely a weak casting of the spell from someone who didn’t have their own wand.”

“What does that mean?” Lily asked for Y/N, who was staring at the healers, mouth gaping slightly. She knew this was a possibility, of course, given the amount of confusion there had been about the last few weeks… or was it months? How many memories have disappeared?

“It means that more surface level memories, likely the most recent memories or things of less importance – songs, etc – Y/N will be unable to remember. Anything that has a stronger tie to herself, or memories that are long-lasting seem to be ok.”

“So, what can we do? It’s not a full spell so there must be a way to break it, I’ve read about memory charms being broken before so it’s not impossible-“ Lily had started, watching the healers closely for a reaction but Turpin cut her off before she could get more aggressive.

“A lot of the examples of memory spells being broken are by very dark magic, and do not take into consideration the wellbeing of the patient.” He paused, looking back at Y/N. “You would likely be irreparably injured if that were done.”

“Having said that,” He continued, giving Lily a look as she went to open her mouth again. “There are memory potions we can administer to try to pull up old emotions and memories, but this isn’t a guarantee and isn’t the most pleasant of experiences.”

“Does it cause any lasting damage?” Y/N swallowed hard and tried to moisten her very dry mouth.

“No, these potions don’t cause any damage. But I do need to repeat that they are not pleasant and can be painful or uncomfortable. I won’t make you decide now, you can have a think about it and see where you are at.”

“Yeah, ok.” Y/N nodded at him, trying to smile but it turned into a grimace.

“Bringing in old belongings is still a good idea also,” Turpin turned back to Lily who was still holding a large photography book that had images of them in school. “Did you have any questions?”

“No, I mean I probably will, but no.” Y/N wanted him to leave, wanted everyone to leave, wanted to not be here in this bright white room with white curtains and light blue sheets and people serving her food on a tray and potions in a jug every three hours.

“Ok, we’ll leave you to rest, Lily only o-“

“One more hour I know, I know.”

Turpin gave them both a smile and turned on the spot to direct the other two healers out of the room. Lily had paused momentarily before she stood up and hurried after him. Y/N could hear them talking in hushed voices in the corner of the room, but had to strain to hear each word.

“It will depend on Y/N, it’s really up to her and if she feels comfortable.”

“But he’s her partner, I mean surely that’s a strong enough memory.”

“If she can’t recall this part of their relationship it might be more distressing than calming for her.”

Y/N pretended to look back at the books Lily had given her as Lily walked back over, chewing her lip fervently.

“Everything ok?” Y/N kept her eyes down, not wanting to ask what she was talking about outright. Not that she wasn’t fully aware of what Lily had been asking. Y/N could hear him talking to her before she came in every morning, small hisses and growls of words that was too low for her to hear.

“Yes, all ok – do you feel ok? After hearing all that?”

“Yeah, I mean no. I just,” Y/N could feel herself get frustrated at the struggle her brain was having trying to remember again and had to pause to calm herself down. “I just don’t know how I can just forget something, just like that, like a hole in my life that I won’t get back.”

“Yeah,” Lily sighed, sinking back into her chair.

“So…” Y/N raised her eyebrows at Lily expectantly, “Were you going to tell me that he’s been here every day?”

Lily grimaced awkwardly.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know what you wanted, it’s so weird, you know? I mean of course you know what a stupid question you’re the one dealing with it I – “ She cut herself off with a shake of the head. “He’s wanted to see you but we didn’t know if it would just make you uncomfortable.”

Y/N nodded her head slowly, not sure how to respond. They hadn’t spoken about Sirius yet, though Y/N knew that Lily was itching to talk to her about it but was too scared to ask.

“Did you want to talk about him?” Lily crooks her head to one side, green eyes piercing into Y/N’s, making her squirm a little. She hated when she did that, it made you want to tell her everything. No wonder she wanted to be a healer. Or is a healer? Merli-

“Y/N?”

“Sorry I… yes. I think so? Fucking hell I can’t make a decision to save my life.”

Lily snorted and leaned down to pull her bag out from under the bed. She slid her hand in and took out another photo album that was a deep maroon colour and placed it on the bed. Lily looked back up at Y/N and then at the album.

“Did you want to open it?”

“I mean sure?” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at her very serious expression, “It’s not going to stun me upon opening is it?”

“No,” Lily grinned in response, “It’s an album of the photos you and Sirius took together, he dropped it off yesterday for me to bring in to you.”

“Ah.”

Lily pulled herself closer to Y/N and opened the book to the first page. There were two large photos of a group of people standing in front of a fireplace in someone’s house. Y/N sat up slightly so she could lean in and look a little closer at the photo. She was able to make out faces of people she went to school with, Frank and Alice leaning into each other and holding hands, Marlene grinning boisterously with her hand running through her wild blonde hair, Fabian and Gideon Prewett making faces at the camera.

“There’s us,” Lily pointed at the other side of the image where Y/N could see Lily’s fiery red hair leaning into James’s, arm around Y/N on the other side of her, grinning just as wide as the rest of them. Behind her was Sirius, Peter, and Remus, in that order, Sirius placing his chin atop of Y/N’s head, a crooked smile pulling up his cheeks, his hands hovering above her shoulders as if unsure if he should lay them down or not.

It was surreal, looking down at herself and not having the faintest memory of when it was or what was happening in the image in front of her. Sirius looked so happy. She looked happy. It felt fake, like someone had forged the image and was trying to implant false memories of her life.

“That was soon after you met, well not met obviously since you knew him at school, but like met again. Properly. I think he asked you out a few days later.” Lily was smiling down at the photo, fingers tracing over some of the faces. She looked up at Y/N, face changing quickly. “Oh shit, Y/N are you ok?”

“I…” Y/N’s voice cracked and she felt a track of water slipping down her cheek and into her mouth. “I…don’t remember.”

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” Lily snapped the book shut and stood up so she could pull her into a hug. Y/N felt her breath hitch as the sobs came hard and fast in her throat and tears began to fall.

“I…don’t know…why I’m crying,” Y/N heaved, gripping tight to Lily’s back, trying to find comfort in the soft green jumper she was wearing.

“It’s overwhelming, I’m sorry maybe you weren’t ready yet.”

“I just…why can’t I remember? None of this feels real, I feel like everyone is lying to me, like it’s a whole big fucking prank and I’m going to wake up tomorrow with Gideon telling me he got me good.” Y/N sniffed, pulling away and trying to take in a deep breath.

“Gideon…?” Lily’s face remained calm, but her tone was off.

“Yes, why? Did he visit when I was asleep?” Y/N felt her heart skip a beat suddenly. At least it was still working.

“No, he, uh, no he hasn’t yet.”

“Oh.”

There was a long pause where they both sat back and looked away from one another.

“What is the last thing you remember, of us, like something we did together.” Lily asked.

Y/N bit her lip, trying to think back to the last time she saw Lily without the building dread that it might have been years earlier than the actual last time.

“I remember us getting coffee, at that muggle place near your house in Godric’s Hollow.” Y/N could see Lily, giggly and bright eyed, showing off her hand- “You’d just gotten engaged! I remember you showing off the ring that matched your eyes.”

Y/N beamed at Lily excitedly, feeling immediately dulled as Lily’s returning smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“You’re married, aren’t you.”

“Might be.”

“Fuck.”

“If it makes you feel better, you were there, and made a proper fool of yourself dancing.” Lily looked at her a little wistfully.

“I expect you to bring in the full album of photos tomorrow, I need a re-enactment.”

“Deal.”

“And… you can tell him to come. If you want. Just… I don’t know if seeing me will make him feel better or worse. You know?”

“Yeah, I’ll see how it goes.” Lily squeezed her hand tightly, “I’m just glad you’re going to be ok.”

Alive, and having missed my best friend’s wedding and falling in love with Sirius Black Y/N thought, a little bitterly, but kept smiling for Lily’s sake.

Taglist:

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[peachebunnys]

Pain, with love V

pairing: Horacio Carrillo x reader

summary: Arranged marriages are tough, but add that with have a drug lord on the loose? Horacio Carrillo can only imagine what’s coming for him. 

warnings: none

a/n: I want to thank Twice for making the song ‘Feel Special’ which evidently inspired majority of this chapter :) Yet another filler lmao, things will pick up pace next chapter I promise 

4.2k words

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter 5;

The constant cooing that came from the nearby window had woken Horacio up. A pigeon, in colours of black and white, was staring straight at him from the ledge, peeking past the undrawn curtains. Horacio blinked away the slumber, eyes trained on the bird as it continued looking at him, with an expression that he was sure was unamusement. 

The room was bright again, indicating the dawn of a new day as the sunlight shines yet again into the huge bedroom. It has been almost two weeks since Horacio and you moved into this place, but his items still sat by the door in brown boxes that were already collecting dust. He noticed that your items have been placed away, and the only thing left was Horacio’s personal memorabilia. There weren’t many things that Horacio kept with him, with just enough to fill two small boxes that were piled up on one another, neatly placed next to the huge oakwood shelf that was home to your vast collection of books. He hadn’t seen you read yet, but he blames it on the fact that he hadn’t been home enough to notice. 

His thick case file that he was going through the night before had documents sprawled across the floor, papers now disorderly unlike the way it was when Horacio had first brought it into the room. He silently cursed, asking himself why was it that he kept dropping items on the floor, especially in the mornings. 

He tries to turn his body to lie on his right arm, only to realise that there was a dead weight preventing him from doing so. Peeking downwards, he was pleasantly surprised to see you, curled up in his arms and still fast asleep despite the noises that came from outside. The sound of nearby cars and birds did nothing to budge you from your slumber, and Horacio was starting to think that maybe you were the heavy sleeper instead. 

Your hair was a mess, strands covering your face as you tucked your head into the crook of his neck. His left arm was still around you, holding you against him as he gently stroked your shoulder in a comforting manner. Thoughts of the night before came back to him, and he continued running his fingers through your hair, smiling how close you were snuggling him throughout the night. Horacio, from his current laid position, could see the twinkle of the diamonds that decorated his wedding band, reflecting off the morning sun. 

His arm was starting to fall asleep, with that static-like feeling that he was all too familiar with after years of being in the Police Force. As much as he wanted to move away from you, he didn’t want to risk waking you up, especially since you were still in deep slumber. The room suddenly felt way too hot all of a sudden, and Horacio opted to remove the blankets that covered his body, only to find that your left leg rested on top of his.

She’s practically clinging onto me, he thought, letting out a shaky breath.

Your soft smooth skin against Horacio was starting to make him redden, and he covered your tangled legs with the blanket again, head leaning back into his pillow as he thought of what he could do to leave this compromising position. 

You shifted again, and Horacio instinctively closed his eyes, pretending to still be asleep to avoid any awkward confrontations. Your hand, which was once tucked under your body, had now rested on Horacio’s chest. You moved in closer to him, basking in the warmth that he radiated from his body, while still being very much asleep. Horacio peeked at you again, noticing your soft snores as you continued cuddling him, pushing him closer to the edge of the bed. 

This would’ve been nice, if it weren’t for the fact that Horacio’s left arm was starting to ache badly. He thinks through the many ways he could get out of this situation without waking you up, in which he came to the conclusion - he couldn’t. The way your head rested so nicely on his biceps made him wonder if it was a comfortable position for you to sleep in. He couldn’t possibly imagine his bulging muscles were soft enough to lie on, let alone sleep on throughout the night.

He takes a quick breath and grips your head pillow tightly, sitting up so he could move you properly. He gently cradled your head with his free hand, lifting you up just enough till he has you on your side of the bed, resting comfortably on your pillow. He retracts his arm, now firmly massaging the muscles as it started to throb with pain, the static-like feeling now flooding his entire limb. Still on his knees above you, he pays little attention to you, missing the way your eyes were starting to flutter open. 

His face was merely inches away from yours, still occupied with kneading his fingers against his muscles to notice the close proximity between the two of you. The sunlight illuminated half of his face, his brown eyes becoming a more prominent hazelnut shade that was so beautiful, you almost felt yourself get lost in them. You had let out a soft gasp, which made Horacio snap his head towards you, staring at your half asleep state. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, did I wake you up?” His voice was smooth and deep, laced with concern that made you squirm from under the sheets. 

“No,” you paused, noticing he was still so close to you, doing nothing about the current situation, “you didn’t.”

 His stubble was starting to grow, the small hairs long enough to give that scratchy texture that you so desperately wanted to feel, and in the heat of the moment - you did.

 Horacio’s eyes widened by the tenfold, his heart racing as your soft palms cupped the right side of his face. Your eyes were focused on his growing stubble, ghosting your fingers along his jawline to feel the slight prickly feeling. 

Horacio slowly brought his hand up, holding yours against his skin as the two of you stared at each other, almost like in a trance. His lips were so pink and full, something you were sure was soft as well. Your eyes danced around his face as you observed how intently he was staring back at you, eyes filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite pin down. 

You were looking back at him, mouth slightly agape, and Horacio wanted nothing more than to kiss you and feel your soft lips against his. There was something so intoxicating about you in this moment, and how you looked at him with admiration. He was practically drunk on the feeling of how you were so addicting, like a force between the two of you that was pulling him in. He could, he thought, he could do it right now if he wanted to.

He could lean his head just a bit forward and kiss you, giving in to the temptation to finally feel your lips against his. You could sense the conflict in Horacio and you gently rubbed your thumb over his cheek, smiling as he leaned into your touch just a bit.

“Thank you,” you spoke up, breaking the silence between the two of you, “for comforting me last night. It really meant a lot to me that you were there for me.”

Horacio blinked slowly, struggling to fight the temptation that wanted him to pull you close to him, just as he did last night. “I know how tough it can get when you lose a loved one,” he smiles sympathetically at you, “I see it almost everyday at work.”

Your thumb had stopped caressing his face, and now your expression took a more serious one.

You shifted your position to look at him properly, letting out a shaky breath before you continued.

“Horacio, promise me one thing,” you plead. Your eyes staring straight at him, searching for something that Horacio could only wish he knew what it was. “Promise me you’ll be safe, and that you won’t purposely put yourself in harm’s way again.” 

Horacio opened his mouth, almost replying to your request until he caught a glimpse of your eyes, now blurry with unshed tears. 

“I know this relationship between us is still new but,” your voice was getting higher, mind plagued with thoughts of the fact that your husband could die at any minute out on field, “I don’t want to lose you too, I don’t want to be alone again.”

The tears spill down your face, rolling slowly down your temple as you shifted your position in bed, hand still cupping Horacio’s face gently. He swallows slowly, adam’s apple bobbing up and down as your words settle in his head. It was true that he could potentially die out there, as the war on drugs was an unforgiving one. You even witnessed it first hand when he had stumbled home, covered in blood that was unfortunately his, almost bleeding to death in your hands. Even so, you doubt this was the worst he’s seen, and that made you panic.

This incident made you realise that you were just one call away from becoming a widow, and the nightmare of your father the night before had opened your eyes to the imminent danger Horacio faced every day at work. You could lose him, and when- no, you refused to think that way. If something bad were to happen to him, you wouldn’t know what you’d do with yourself. 

As he held you in his arms last night, you thought about how the rest you’ve gotten was the best you had since the passing of your father. There was just something about Horacio that made you feel so safe, like nothing in this world could hurt you as long as he was here next to you. You didn’t miss the way Horacio’s eyes were also starting to get glassy as well, closing his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. 

He was close enough that you could smell the faint scent of bergamot and wood, a scent so uniquely his that you’ve grown to love. The gears in his head were still turning, and you slowly brought your hand down from his cheek. His focus was on you, smiling as you waited for his answer, in which he replied with absolute conviction. 

“I promise.”

The way he had said it, the promise and the weight behind the words gave you chills. You nodded at him, wiping away the stray tears from your face. You turned your head to notice a whole flock of pigeons by the window, cooing and fluttering their feathers against the glass panels. You could hear the children on the streets giggling and screaming with joy, indicating that the day had already begun. 

From the corner of your eye, you spotted Horacio already moving out of bed and heading towards the bathroom. As soon as the door closes behind him, your body relaxes and you stare at the ceiling, thinking back to the conversation that you had earlier. You move to curl your body into a ball, too deep in thought to notice Horacio coming out of the toilet and staring at you, heart breaking at how upset you looked. He didn’t think he would’ve had this conversation with you so soon, but it looked like his injuries had bothered you more than he anticipated, making his heart ache at how much he’s unintentionally hurt you. He slowly walks over to you, footsteps light as he takes a seat next to you on the bed. 

“Hey,” he calls out, “you should wash up, I’ll prepare you breakfast.”

“Oh no Horacio it’s ok-”

“I insist, please.” His eyes twinkled as he moved towards the door, “what was it that you liked again, eggs?” 

You let out a soft gasp at his question, “you’ve noticed?”

He scoffed, eyes widening as his face had a very telling ‘are you serious’ look, “you’ve been eating it almost every meal.”

Without a second thought, you slapped yourself on the forehead, totally forgetting the fact that the two of you have been eating together more often lately, “oh right, I forgot.”

He beams at you, head tilting over to the direction of the door, “I’ll see you in a bit then.”

The eggs in question were surprisingly good, and you were pleased to find out that something so simple could be even more delicious than it already was. You practically devoured it, licking your fork as you finished your meal. Horacio grinned at how you ate so quickly and continued finishing up his meal, taking both of your plates once the two of you were done. 

“Maybe you should rest today, I’ll handle the household chores.” Horacio had poured the soap on the dishes, reaching out for the sponge by the sink. 

“You’re kidding!”

“No,” he eyes you with amusement, “I’m not.”

You walk over towards him, grinning from ear to ear as you watched him carefully clean the plates. “Alright then, let me give you a list of chores that need to be done by today.”

Horacio paused to look up at you, noticing your gleeful expression. You started looking around the room, observing the various items in silence. You were an arm’s length away from him, deep in thought before quickly rattling off the things he needed to do for the day. Which was unsurprisingly a lot.

“Could you wash the curtains, and bedsheets today? Oh, and we’re out of some groceries like milk, onions, cheese and carrots. I think today is a good day for you to pack away all your belongings too, the boxes by the doors? And before I forget, please do the laundry too, the sun is out so it’d be a good time to finally dry them.”

Horacio frowns as you listed out the activities, mentally trying to remember what you had just mentioned while counting on his fingers. His head was tilted to the side, lost in thought before being disrupted by your light smacking on his arm, “too much to handle?”

“Of course not, I’ll do all of it for you.”

You watch as he continues cleaning the dishes, muscles flexing every time he exerted strength to clean a tough stain. It certainly was a sight to behold, you thought, something you could definitely get used to. However, as time went by, you noticed his unusually stiff movements, especially when he had crouched to pick up the fallen rag. His body jerked up and he immediately gripped his sides, clear that his wounds were still causing him pain.

Oh!

You had forgotten to change his bandages!

You walked over to him, hand gently resting on his broad shoulders, waiting for him to look up at you before you spoke. “Let me re-medicate your wounds for you, it seems like both of us have forgotten to tend to your bandages.”

Horacio looked up at you, noticing your gentle smile towards him. He could feel his heartbeat quicken as you slowly dragged your palm down his shoulders and to his arm. 

He wasn’t used to this. Wasn’t used to someone looking out for him and wanting to be near him. 

For years he has been living alone, delving into work without giving a second thought towards having a relationship with anybody. He was always so busy, more at work than at home most of the time. Horacio didn’t even think he would ever get married, and the idea of being in a relationship with someone was a distant one - if not there at all. 

His parents, when they heard of your father’s final wish, were taken aback to say the least. They weren’t quite sure themselves if it was a good idea to wed their work-obsessed son to their best friend's daughter, afraid she would spend more nights alone than with him. Horacio was the one who told them he’d make it work somehow, and here he was, trying to do exactly that. 

Having you wake up next to him, bodies entangled to no end, made Horacio realise how badly he always wanted a domestic lifestyle - to just relax for once, with his lover in his arms as he softly sang them a song from his childhood, sharing fleeting smiles and kisses. 

But you weren’t his lover, not when everything he feels for you was one sided.

Loneliness.

The more time he spent with you, the more he yearned for a normal life with you. How he wished that everything was different. That he wasn’t a cop, or that this relationship wasn’t arranged, and that the two of you had genuinely fallen in love with each other. Maybe then, would he be able to take you in his arms, just as he wanted to now. 

“Horacio?” Your eyebrows were cocked up in confusion, “you alright?”

He stuttered out a response, managing to answer ‘yes’ to your question as he slowly stood up from his position. He walked over to the nearby stool to take a seat, removing his soft cotton tee without hurry. He tossed the shirt over onto the counter, looking back at you as you gathered all the items needed to clean his wounds. 

You took out the bandages, one by one, and Horacio was starting to feel the slight sting of the cool air against his skin. His breathing had become laboured again, feeling your soft touch against his chest. You began dipping the clean cloth in medicated water, lightly dabbing it on the area around the punctured skin. 

He could tell you were getting nervous, hands trembling ever so slightly as you struggled to replace the first bandage. Horacio noticed your eyes were once again watery, blinking away harshly to prevent them from falling like they did this morning. 

“Don’t,” his large hands holding your smaller wrists tenderly. He shakes his head as you look right at him, eyes wide and welcoming, “I’ve already promised you, haven’t I?”

You sniffle, silently nodding at him as you plastered the bandage onto him. You managed to steady your hands the rest of the time, glancing up at him to see if he was facing any form of discomfort, only to be met with a reassuring smile. God, how was he even more handsome up close? His high cheekbones, beautiful brown eyes and comforting smile was doing nothing to ease the butterflies in your stomach. You were practically acting like a schoolgirl who had a crush, swooning over how gentle Horacio was being with you. 

You carefully finished patching him up, silently admiring the good work you did as soon as it was over. You packed away the medkit and walked over to wash your hands, hearing the loud scraping noise from the stool as Horacio moved out of his seat to continue his chores. 

“Horacio,” you quickly glanced over at him, “I’ll help you out, it’s too much for one person to do!”

“Nonsense! If you can do it all by yourself, so can I.”

“Horacio, you’re injured, remember? I don’t want to risk the wounds opening up again and getting infected.”

Horacio pauses in thought, thinking over your words before reluctantly putting away the broom he was currently holding, “what would you like me to do now?”

You move your head in direction of the stove, signalling him to come over. “Since you cook like a five star michelin chef, why don’t you cook lunch for us?”

“You sound sarcastic about the chef part,” his frown deepened as he registered your words.

“I’m not! I swear! You’re really good at cooking, should’ve become a chef, huh?”

He beams at your words, walking over to the refrigerator to take out the food, “that’s what years of staying alone does to you, I couldn’t just eat eggs everyday.”

“What? I wouldn’t have minded that.”

“I know you wouldn’t have,” he places all the ingredients out on the kitchen counter, washing the vegetables under the sink before placing them in a bowl, “you’re the first person I’ve ever met who loved eggs so much.”

“That’s impossible! Eggs are amazing! You can have them in so many ways! Scrambled, hard-boiled, sunny side up, soft boiled, and those are just to name a few.” Your fingers were up, counting the various ways to consume the eggs. 

You were now leaning over the kitchen counter, watching how swiftly Horacio chopped up the vegetables. You were in a trance, mesmerised by how he was so quickly chopping up the onions and placing them in a bowl next to you. The rhythmic thud of the knife against the chopping board was so pleasing to hear, and if you didn’t have anything else to do at that moment, you were sure you would’ve watched Horacio cook all day.  

“Don’t you have anything else to do?” Horacio’s once serious face breaking into a huge grin. 

“Sorry?”

“Oh you know, like washing the curtains, doing the laundry or buying the groceries?” He teases, eyes sparkling with mischief as he glanced up at you. 

You let out a loud groan, dragging yourself towards the laundry basket, carrying the bulky item towards the yard, “alright alright, I’ll see you later then!”

The rest of the day went by smoothly, with the two of you working together to finish up the chores quickly. By the end of the day, the two of you were spent, resting your bodies for what felt like the first time in forever.  

Horacio was busy with his case files again, studying each detail carefully under the warm orange light that came from the bedside lamp. You watched him flip over the pages every few minutes, eyebrows tightly knitted together as he scribbled notes by the margin of the documents. 

The room was cold again, but luckily it was clear out, with the moonlight shining into the room and onto the foot of your bed. You absentmindedly ran your fingers over your left hand, feeling the ring on your finger and smiling to yourself. 

Just by spending two full days alone with Horacio, did you start to learn a lot about him. Like how he always intently listens to you share stories about your childhood, or how he would always be there to help you with anything, no matter how small the favour. These were the things about him that you found endearing, that only ramped up your butterflies whenever he was close to you. You knew that he struggled with words to say to you, but even so did he remember to always thank you for helping him, showing his gratitude in other ways like offering you food to eat - knowing that whatever he cooked was definitely going to be your new favourite. 

You listened to the soft hooting from nearby owls, eyes fluttering close as you allowed your body to succumb to its exhaustion. The wildlife sounds from beyond your windows were like a soft melody, lulling you to sleep before you even knew it. 

Horacio too, was struggling to keep his eyes open again, yawning ever so often as he continued looking through the file. As he flipped the pages, he heard your soft snores which made him realise you had fallen asleep rather swiftly - on a more peaceful note this time. 

He studied your sleeping form, thinking back to the events that happened throughout the day. How you were so good to him, and how he didn’t quite believe he deserved all the kindness you gave. The encouraging smiles and compliments you whispered to him whenever he did a chore well was something he never knew needed, and it only made him yearn for you more. 

He didn’t think it would be possible to catch feelings this quickly, but boy was he falling for you fast. Like a drug, he couldn’t get enough of the feeling you kept giving him - as if he meant everything to you in the world. 

But he knew better. 

He doubted you felt the same way, especially since everything between the two of you was happening so rapidly. And so he decided to keep it to himself, in hopes that maybe his feelings will be buried amidst other things. 

He takes one last glance at you, noticing how soundly you slept next to him, closing the gaps between the two of you just as you did the night before. His heart melted, watching you with a smile on his face as he finally switched off the lights, placing his case file on the nightstand.   

He rubbed his eyes roughly, letting out a soft sigh as he turned his body towards you. Horacio felt your hand instinctively rest on his stomach, leaning closer to bathe in the warmth he exuded. He thus moved closer to you, pulling the blankets to cover the both of you entirely. 

With your hand resting on his chest, his heartbeat spiked again, cursing himself over how a small gesture could make him feel so much. He closed his eyes, feeling himself slip into a gentle slumber, to only the sounds of your soft snores and the ticking of the clock that bounced around the room. 

Maybe it’ll work out, but it wasn’t falling in love that Horacio was afraid of. 

It was falling in love with someone he felt deserved better. 

Falling in love with you. 

[mickmarstookmyheart]

“Not a tempting deal”

Here is the last filler chapter. I tried to wrap the whole 'Too fast for love' tour, the new album. I will make some changes in the next chapters because I didn't really look up anything when I wrote them so there many many timing problems there. But don't worry, I got this.

The only law is not to meet with their past form, right?

Okay I thought that was funny. *clears throat*

Let's kickstart this chapter.

Gif belongs to @tattooed-lies

"So you really thought, that I would end up with Tommy?!" You asked Mick, trying not to laugh. He looked embarrassed for thinking that. You two were sitting still by the river from last night, tho now the sun was rising. The others went back to the house to pack their stuff, it was time to go home.

"Why didn't I? You always hang out with him."

"Yeah, cause he was kind and was the only one who didn't want my death for this camping idea?" You raised one of your eyebrows.

"Okay, you are right, but...he was this 'friendly' with you before the trip. He always laid in your lap for fu-..." You burst into laughter. You couldn't believe him. 

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. Just the situation, you know. Before and during the holiday I thought you hate me. I know you already said why however it's still funny you were jealous at Tommy. Gosh..." You wiped away the tears and was smiling at him. You looked into each other's eyes but didn't say a word. Mick leaned closer now his face inches away from yours. He brushed your cheek with his thumb then your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, closing his eyes. You took a shaky breath and slightly nodded. Seconds later he pressed his lips on yours. His fingers were running through your hair, while you intertwined your hands behind his neck. The kiss wasn't a long kiss, but it was full of love, which you felt a long time ago. When you tore apart you didn't open your eyes just pressed your forehead to his.

"Hey, doves! It's time to go!" Nikki yelled while packing to the back of your car. You smiled and glanced at Mick. He was grinning and shook his head.

"Well, if you accept me as your boyfriend, I have to tell you that you have to deal with them, too. I know it's not a tempting deal, but I can't help it."

"I will consider it." You put your finger under his chin and pecked his lip. You stood up and stretched cause your back hurt like hell from sitting all night. Mick did the same and you two headed towards the house while holding hands.

When you arrived there, Nikki and Tommy were grinning, tho Vince didn't.

"You can still change your mind, darling." He said winking.

"I think I will pass, Vince." You said giggling. He pouted but continued packing the bags. After you brought your bag and helped with Mick's, you were about to sit in the driver's seat when Mick took the keys from your hand.

"You know, it will be quite complicated to start the engine without that." You said pointing at Mick's hand.

"I'm driving." He simply stated and hushed you away. Well, you didn't mind you wouldn't have to drive that long route, tho you quite feared your brand new car. To be honest, it will be best if Mick drives since you barely slept at night.

"Are you ready, guys?" You asked looking in the rear-view mirror to see them.

"Nooooo." They all yelled, not wanting to go home.

"So as I see it was just a good idea, huh?"

"Well, it wasn't good. It was fucking awesome!" Tommy cheered. You smiled turning back.

"Then let's go home."

∆

29 May 1983, US Festival

The guys were so deep into the new album, they were quite surprised a week ago when Doc told them about the festival.

"I don't want to do this. I'm not ready." Vince said while walking up and down on the stage.

"Are you nervous? You?" You asked him while setting your camera.

No. Maybe, I don't know. It's gonna be a huge concert for a crowd we have may never see. And I'm pretty nervous." He said still walking around.

"Damn, Vince, just calm down. Come, sit!" You ordered sitting on the edge of the stage. He didn't sit, just stood in front of you. "Listen. Just breathe, okay? Think of something relaxing. Like the river and the forest we were." You said smiling after he seemed a bit more relieved.

"Thank you, (Y/N)." He said before placing a soft kiss on your cheek and leaving you there alone and some of your co-workers. He was so much different. He sometimes played offended whenever Mick was nearby, but he didn't think it seriously. Mick was watching him carefully, fearing Vince might steal you from him. You constantly have to remind him that you will never leave him, especially for Vince. Your connection with Nikki was neutral, you talked sometimes but it was nothing special. The only thing which you shared was your past, your terrible childhood. Tommy was still goofy around you.

When the concert started you could still see Vince worrying. He looked at you, you took the opportunity to gesture him to breathe. He took a deep breath and told the boys to start the show. You quickly learned the tricks and position to take photos during the concerts. This time it was different since this show was open-air. They didn't need fans to blow their beautiful hair to fly.

Between two songs you tried to take a photo of Vince when he wasn't paying attention, but he ran backstage. You sighed and turned back to take a few shots of the audience. When he came back the crowd cheered and you turned there, too. Vince was holding a camera also and started to take photos of you. You blushed and hid your face with the camera so no one could see your crimson red face. Mick was just shaking his head, Nikki and Tommy were smiling.

After the concert and later on, they were all preparing for the release of the album. The album will appear at the end of September, tho they were already finished, they just needed to record it. The constant concerts and the album consumed most of their time. While they worked on their music life, you learned, learned, and learned. Maybe this university thing wasn't the best idea. But if you had already started, you had to finish it, now.

You and Doc were currently in the studio along with the boys to record some of the songs. You were sitting in the chair with your notes for school.

"(Y/N)!" You heard your name and jumped. Doc was laughing at you and you glanced from the booth.

"I'm sorry what?" You asked pushing the button to let them hear you.

"You liked it?" Vince asked.

"Yeah, sure. It was pretty cool." You said showing them a thumb up. To be honest, you didn't really pay any attention.

"You said the same to the last five songs." Nikki groaned.

"Cause they were awesome." You tried your best to sound honest like you had played attention.

"Alright, guys. Let's take a break." Doc announced. He looked at you, you were deep in your notes again. "(Y/N)?"

"Yes, Boss?"

"If you need some day-off to study you are free to go. There are..." He said rubbing the back of his head.

"Thanks, but I think I can handle it. But really, I appreciate it." You said smiling at him. He patted your back and left the booth. After the boys put down their instruments they burst into the room except for Nikki. Tommy sat down on the couch along with Vinnie. Mick stood in front of you, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. You smiled looking up at him. He took the notes from your hand and gestured you to stand up. You did as he wanted and he took your place. You huffed, then he grabbed your hand and pulled on his lap.

"Are you alright?" He asked looking into your eyes.

"Yeah, just tired and now kinda fed up. At least it will be over in a few days." You sighed resting your head in the crook of his neck.

"So you will get your diploma or what?" Tommy asked.

"It's just one exam, Lee, tho a quite big one... There will be more of it. You know, that's what uni is about. Isabelle must've been doing the same." You hardly spoke to your sister, she was either not in her room or you had to work, luckily, you talked with Dylan on a daily basis. "Anyway, the new songs are truly extraordinary. That song, Bastard will be huge!"

"Hey, that's my favorite, too." Mick said, placing a kiss on your neck.

"Get a room, guys!" Tommy said covering his and Vince's eyes.

A few days after, it was the day. You got dressed, you took on an elegant pantsuit and comfortable heels.

"Woah, where are you going in that dress? You became a flight attendant or what?" Vince asked laughing when he saw you in the hall of the hotel.

"Haha, very funny of you. No, dumbass, I'm going to write my exam, you know." You said while checking your bag to see if you have everything needed. Your legs were shaking from the stress so you sat down beside Vince. You placed your face in your hands and stomped your feet.

"(Y/N), are you alright?" Vince said while rubbing your back with his hand.

"Yeah, just I feel like I know nothing." You said nervously.

"Hey, you know everything okay? You need to relax." You looked at him. "Just breathe." He said smirking, remembering the day you told him the same. You did as told and indeed it was helpful. Sometimes you really need to accept your very own advice.

"Thanks. And sorry for calling you dumbass."

"No hard feelings. Anyway, why aren't you going?"

"Mick will take me there by bike. I'm waiting for him. But it's like his wedding or I don't know how much it takes him to get ready?!" You complain before Mick finally appeared.

The exam was way easier than you thought. There were hardly any questions you didn't know, so you would consider it as an achievable exam. When you got out of the building you could see a bunch of girls screaming. Poor, Mick. You smiled seeing the happy girls and you felt lucky to work with the boys. Your eyes widened when you saw the blondie singer beside his bike.

"So how was the exam?" Vince asked you, giving the last signature to the girls who walked away giggling yet stayed close.

"Where is Mick?"

"He couldn't come. He had a headache or what. So he sent me."

"Sent you? You?" You raised one of your eyebrows not believing Mick had just started to trust Vince now.

"Is that so unbelievable?" He got on his bike before you did the same, hugging him from the back to hold.

"Yes, it is."

"Okay, Mick didn't feel good and I thought I will get you back to the hotel."

"Okay." Something was on. You just didn't know what.

After 10 minutes, Vince parked the bike in front of a tattoo salon.

"So, what are we doing here exactly?" You asked getting off the bike and adjusting your clothes on yourself.

"We will get you a tattoo, photographer girl." You gulped, not really feeling this tattoo thing at all. He winked and opened the door for you. When you stepped inside one or two rockers sat in the salon glaring at you. You felt quite awkward being in that suit and not in your usual clothes.

"Really, Vince? Now?" You whispered to him when he sat down next to you. To be honest, Mick was on your mind since Vince told you about him. You hoped he felt better.

"Instead of complaining all the time, pick something for yourself." He murmured handing you the book full of tattoos.

"And what about you?"

"I will get the band's name or some sexy girl."

"Wow, so original." You mumbled focusing on the pages.

"Who's next?" A guy looked at you judging your outfit.

"I had an exam today, alright? Don't need to look at me like that." You mumbled standing up and following him.

"Took you long enough." You heard the singer yelling when the door opened. You heard Nikki and Tommy, but not Mick. Maybe he wasn't better.

"Okay, so what do you want and where?" The guy asked still looking in the same way.

When you were finished you sighed, really wanted to get rid of this suit.

"Hi, (Y/N)!" Tommy grinned and jumped in front of you to see where did you get your tattoo. "So, where is it?"

"None of your business." You simply said sitting down. Vince looked up from the magazine he was reading, glancing at you curiously.

"Come on, (Y/N)! Don't tease us!"

"Who's gonna tease and whom?" Mick asked stepping out of the restroom. You smiled seeing at him. He settled down beside you and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "Hey, babe. So did you get your tattoo?" He gazed all over you to see a sign of it. Tho he couldn't see it.

"Yeah."

"And? Where is it?" He asked smirking.

You whispered in his ear, not wanted to let know the others. You saw him blush and gulping.

"Mick, please!" Tommy whined.

"I can't, drummer." He cleared his throat and still smirking at you. "I can't wait to go back to the hotel." He whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

∆

The next day, you were at the reception wanting to get your bed changed and the room cleaned. Needless to say what happened last night. You were only wearing a robe on yourself and underwear. When you told the receptionist you wanted, Nikki appeared next to you, waiting for the lift, too.

"Good morning."

"Mornin'. Someone had a pretty long night?" He asked smirking. The door of the elevator closed and suddenly Nikki pulled the string of the robe letting him see your body, including your new ink.

"What the hell?" You screamed pulling the robe tight in yourself. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" Nikki was just laughing at you. You felt your face burn and your fist tightening.

"I thought it might be on somewhere hidden! You could show it to us!"

"You know, I didn't want to take off my suit in front of everyone and show my breast, you idiot. I have pride."

"If you say so." He said still laughing, wiping his tears away.

26 September 1983

The boys finally finished recording the album and since you finished your exam you were all relieved. They still had shows, but now they could party and don't stress or fight on the album. However, there were many people who weren't really relieved about the upcoming album.

Next chapter

tag: @leatherandheels

[floosies]

Trouble Chpt. 6

paring: mob!bucky/mob!frank x reader

summary: Your brother Frank was man who looked for trouble and Bucky was just that. As much as he tried to make sure you didn’t get involved trouble, he knew it wouldn’t stop you from getting involved with it.

authors note:  This chapter took forever and I feel awful about that. I have my finals for this quarter coming up so it’s been a stress. Also Happy Birthday Bucky Barnes! P.S. this is a filler chapter but believe me the next two chapters will be a hoot!

warnings: cursing, violence, blood, and smut

Series Masterlist

The plans were made and by the end of the week Elizabeth could walk well enough to lounge at a beach. Frank was still pretty pissed off about the whole situation of his sister and his boss beginning to agree on things. Karen kept him from becoming paranoid though, through distractions of course. The trip would consist of those who saved Lizzie’s life. 

In the boss’s office, they called in the three guys who saved Bucky’s best gal. She couldn’t stand for too long so by the time they entered she was sat, “this chair is gonna be the death of me.” She said a bit warily, Bucky smiled at her trying to empathize with how she felt. The men walked in, “you wanted to see us Boss?” Barton asked with a sense of caution, “not me Clint, the lady here did.” Bucky answered coolly, all eyes now on Elizabeth in her chair, a smile and bright eyes looking back at the intrigued faces.

Before confusion could further, she spoke sweetly, “I’ll get right to it, you three saved my life out there. I’m very thankful for it,” she began, “it was no problem ma’am, just doing our job.” Wilson said with a tugging smirk, to be honest they all looked very smug right now, because they never were really top dogs to their boss until now. She giggled a bit at the cocky attitude and continued, “well, as a way to repay you guys, I was hoping you’d like to accompany us on a little trip to Santa Catalina?” Parker’s eyes lit up like a kid on christmas and the other two guys looked at the boss for confirmation. Bucky nodded in agreement, “we’re serious boys.” He said sternly to the men, who were still in a bit of shock. Clint however went from shock to a more somber face, “i’m gonna have to turn down that offer, I’m sorry ma’am,” Elizabeth looked a bit confused, the other two did for a second as well before remembering why he had to turn down the invitation.

With a sense of worry she asked, “is everything alright?” He gave a look at James who nodded, “everything is fine ma’am-” “just Lizzie, is fine” she interrupted softly, “Lizzie, it’s just there are priorities for me here.” “He’s got a family,” Bucky explained to her. “Oh, of course. Well then, maybe we could help you out, anything ya need?” He smiled at her kindness, Bucky interjected “we’ll figure something out later.” Then they were dismissed and it was just the man in charge and a girl who was falling for him more and more.

The day of the trip came, and Frank was still not having it. Thank God for Karen Page and her optimistic thinking. Black Ranger Rovers pulled forward, inside the cars was a couple and some men who were beyond excited to go off the clock; they still brought a couple hand guns and other things (Frank included). Elizabeth though still hurting a bit when she walked, carried on. Bucky wouldn’t have it though, she’d barely survived, he’d gotten to the apartment and carried her to the car.

She was giggling the whole time, as they reached the “Frank is gonna kill ya, you know that right?” He smirked at the idea of making old Frank pissed off, “he can try doll,” he said. Meanwhile Karen was trying to bring some sanity onto her pissed off date, “let her be happy. C’mon you and I deserve this break and she’s gonna be safe with us there.” Frank scoffed as a response, closing the door on their way out. Luckily they packed light, “listen I just don’t want for her to be happy with him. Men like him don’t deserve happiness.” She raised an eyebrow at that, “what about you then, do you not deserve happiness?” He stopped in his tracks and sighed, turning around, he saw her blue eyes filled with concern and wait. 

The car ride and flight was very quiet with the men, except Peter who was younger than the other guys and ecstatic about the whole thing. The girls talked among themselves and with him while the others just watched in amusement. Bucky couldn’t stop staring at her though, he knew how he felt about her but there was more growing from that. The only thing growing in Frank was anger. Why would his little sister suddenly start treating this idiot with kindness? 

From an outside view, they were just looking to protect her. Oddly enough, they wanted to protect her from each other, from the chaotic and heartless world that they had been given. What made it more of a priority was after she was assaulted. It could be that seeing and living through that brought there levels of protectiveness higher than what it was before. 

Nevertheless, now they were boarding a private jet that was only ever used for business. The way the girls eyes shown as they took in all the beautiful things inside the jet was amusing to the guys and Peggy. Karen and Elizabeth looked like kids in a candy store, and Frank loved it. It was surreal to think there was an aspect of life that could be so different from what they knew. 

Most of them decided to take some naps as the flight would be a couple hours from New York to the Catalina Islands. Lizzie didn’t remember how but she ended up sat next to Buck, her hand holding his as they watched a movie to pass the time. They knew the comfort wouldn’t last but it was appreciated for the time.

When they landed, no one but James and Steve knew about the welcome party that would be waiting for them. Barnes was a showman though, and having the girl he was falling for be there with him, made him want to put a show. Let her know that there was more than fear and violence in his life. There belongings were handled with care, and they were carted onto a yacht. The boat took them to a planned lunch on a beautiful villa over looking the island. Tropical fruits and mimosas were at the table, even Frank had a small smile. Sam and Peter were blunt about how excited they were. Her eyes met his sharp blue ones, with a happiness she hadn’t felt since she was a kid. Raising a toast, he ensured everyone there was more to come.

[baekterflyeffect]

hues / part three

He always considered himself as the colorful one, until she came into the picture and managed to make him realize that there were hues and shades of colors in him he hadn’t discovered.

CHARACTERS: Baekhyun x Reader (name would not be mentioned) AU: fakedating!au, college!au, artstudents!au GENRE: romance, fluff, slight conflict WC: 1.6k. A/N: a filler chapter. 

+ hues masterlist 

“Move in with me,” Baekhyun said, looking up from his tablet, he saw how her mouth gape at his question, smiling weakly then, “I mean, just to keep you save?” He continues. She opened up her mouth, closing it right after; not knowing that to say. 

It had been three days ever since Jinyoung invade the privacy of her apartment, things have been quiet yet she was still on edge because of it, constantly looking around and not being able to be at ease. Right after what happened, she doesn’t stay in her apartment, opting to crash in one of her best friend's place. 

Baekhyun never leave her side even though she stubbornly told him that she will be fine, saying that he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he’s not sure that she’s save without any threat coming her way. Of course, she was grateful about it, though at the same time, she felt burdened because she was no one important in his life―at least that is what she told herself from time to time―but Baekhyun was too stubborn for her words to go through her thick skull. 

She doesn’t want to depend herself on him, her mind filled with the thought of him caring for her out of obligation of their deal when she asked him to help her to pretend to be her boyfriend. Depending herself on anyone in general was never a favorable idea in her mind. She grew up being told that women could be independent too and she wanted to prove that to herself and her family.

Speaking of family; she stay mute about her problems at hand. She doesn’t want her family that was happily living over the ocean to worry about her and persist her to move together with them to the States, though she knew that sooner or later she needed to tell them. But not now, not even soon. 

Baekhyun’s soft voice break her out from her thoughts, making her sigh. She bit her bottom lip, her eyes that were staring at him showed an uncertainty. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Where would I sleep?” 

They spoke at the same time, Baekhyun being stunned by her question and she smiling at him in a cheeky way. He thought it was very cute of her to be cheeky when her cheeks are redder than the red he currently used to color his illustration. She gestured him to answer her question, being curious knowing that Baekhyun is living in a studio apartment with one queen sized bed. 

“You could sleep in my laundry machine.” He shrugged, and she badly want to smack him for his lopsided grin that was stretched on his lips. 

“In?!” 

“I mean, you’re small enough to fit.”

She groaned, throwing the closest paint brush she have inside her apartment. 

“I am not that small.” 

“Sure, baby, keep lying to yourself.” 

“Baekhyun!” 

Her loud scream and his laughter resonated inside her small apartment, bringing joy to both of them, as if there is nothing to worry about. 

She still didn’t say anything about Baekhyun’s idea of moving to his studio apartment, it was not because it’s small, his studio apartment are really spacious and enough for another bed to be put somewhere on his apartment. She doesn’t know how will it be appropriate for her to move in with a guy―that was only her pretend boyfriend―without it being weird. How will she explain to her friends about her moving out, even? 

She was tempted, of course she was. Who wouldn’t be tempted when they were being offered a good place to live in and a promise of protection? Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to say yes to him, and she doesn’t have anyone to talk to her about it knowing that what everyone knew of was her dating him, for real. 

“Baekhyun,” she called her softly, they left her place about an hour ago, opting to finish their assignments in a nearby cafe for more inspiration, “would it be weird if I said yes to your offer?” She questioned. 

He hummed at her question, putting his pencil down to focus on her wholly. “By the majority point of view, of course it would be weird,” he said, smiling at her, “but it’s for your protection, and if any of our friends asked why you decided to move in, you can answer them with my place located near the campus.” 

She pursed her lips at his explanation, nodding her head then, “It could be a good idea, I will tell my mom first that for this semester I’ll be living with a friend?” 

“Yup,” he grinned, even though it kinda hurt that she labeled him as a friend, but he knew his place, “say whatever you are comfortable with, sweetheart.” 

She nodded her head at him, nothing happened yet ever since the first time Jinyoung barged inside her place, but she wouldn’t know knowing she hasn’t been really there for awhile. Letting out a soft sigh, she bring her knees close to her chest so she was able yo rest her cheek there. 

“You don’t have to do it, you know?” Baekhyun said, getting up from where he was seated to sit next to her, using his arm to rub a soothing circles on the small of her back. She sighed again, not knowing what to do. 

“My apartment will always be ready if you want to move in, baby. My laundry machine, too.”

She chuckled at his last word, swatting his chest with her palm. “Idiot,” she smiled at him, and lord, the way he mirrored her smile. 

She did end up choosing to move in with Baekhyun, justifying her decision by saying she felt saver when Baekhyun was around her. It was only a week after his suggestion that she did agree to it. She remembered well how beamy Baekhyun was when she told him over the phone that it was best for her to move to his place for awhile. 

Now, she found herself standing in the middle of his spacious studio apartment, two of her suitcases opened as she tried her best to arrange her clothing. Her easels and painting equipment already settled in nicely next to his. It feels domestic once she finished arranging her clothes on the space of Baekhyun’s closet that he readied before she came, making her smile to herself.

Baekhyun groan to himself when he was done settling the extra mattress he had for her to sleep on the feet of his bed, for some reason, she was glad that he doesn’t even used a bed post. Part of her are still being reminded of the feeling she had when she woke up in Baekhyun’s arms a  few weeks ago. Something she definitely want to feel again. 

“This is too much work, you should really sleep inside my laundry machine.” He whined, plopping his sweaty body to her mattress. She couldn’t help but to grimace―she would never lay down in her bed before she cleaned up―walking up to him and nudge his side with her toe. 

“Baekhyun, you’re dirtying my bed!” 

At that, Baekhyun chuckled, “Then sleep inside my laundry machine,” getting up from his position, “yes?” His eyes twinkled in playfulness, making her whine in annoyance. She swatted her hand on his chest, pushing him away. 

“I wouldn’t fit.” 

“Wanna bet?”

“Sure, if I didn’t fit you’re giving me new acrylics set.” She deadpanned. 

“...and if you fit, then you’re giving me new Copic markers. I need three new colors.” Baekhyun grinned at her, taking her wrist to lead her to where his laundry machine was placed near his kitchen. 

Ironically, she fitted inside his laundry machine. Her body doesn’t fit whole, but she managed to get her head and thighs inside it, making her legs dangled outside the opening of the machine. It doesn’t even take too much effort for her to get inside, all she had to do was getting her head in before her legs.

Baekhyun laughed way too hard to the point he was tearing up, his phone ready to record her endeavor inside his laundry machine. What she didn’t know, he was recording with his instagram and posting it as a story right away. 

It took Baekhyun three minutes to stop laughing and help her out, she has never been so glad that she was not afraid of small spaces. 

“Fuck you,” she breathed, slapping his arm hardly making him winched in pain, “I can’t believe I really fit?! Now I have to buy you an expensive markers that I don’t even use!?” 

Baekhyun still couldn’t stop himself from laughing, he knew that she wasn’t mad at him by the twinkle and the smile she tried her best to hide. He pulled her to him, enveloping her small petite body with his. 

She fit so perfectly with him, like two puzzle pieces finding its perfect pair. 

“You’re enjoying it, sweetheart.” Baekhyun smiled, pressing his lips to the crown of her head. He only heard her soft hum as a reply and its enough.

“Why do you like going here so much?” Baekhyun asked her, holding a shopping basket in his hand that was already filled with their art supplies. She hummed, her eyes examining the copic markers Baekhyun wanted. 

“It’s cozy, don’t you think?” She replied once she found the three shades, putting it on their shopping basket. Grinning at him toothily. 

Baekhyun nodded his head to agree with her, he does think that the place is cozy with their wooden interior and soft jazzy instruments playing. Every time he comes to the store, he always feel inspiration filling up his mind. And it was for the fact that he managed to get closer with her through this place, deeming it as their own safe haven. 

“I think so.” He smiled at her, giving her forehead a light peck.

  Little did they know, someone was watching them with their teeth gritted and fist clenched. 

[born-to-lose]

What Happens in Vegas -- Chapter 2

Pairing: Maylor

Summary: During the News of the World tour Queen perform in Las Vegas. After a long night Brian wakes up next to Roger. As if that isn’t enough, they have wedding rings on their fingers…

Tags: cursing, sexual references

Words: 1,571

A/N: It’s my first day at home after my Italy trip and I’ve finally found the time to post part 2 of this fic! I only edited some little things of this (kinda?) filler chapter while I was on the bus yesterday. I hope you like it nonetheless and pray for me that I’ll be back with an WHIV or IYWITA update next week xx

Tag list: @somebody-to-rock-you @siriuslovesmarlene @steveebabyyy @queensilveryrog (tagging you because of your sweet comment on the first chapter

Chapter 1

The next stop is San Diego. It’s going to take them some time to get there and Roger and Brian haven’t gotten much sleep last night for obvious reasons, so they decide to take a nap on the bus. The thing that surprises Brian is that Roger isn’t as distant as he expected. Actually, he has a feeling Roger acts more comfortable around him all of a sudden… It could just be him hallucinating or getting his hopes up, but maybe there is something? Brian loves being his best friend, but what if they could really be more than that?

At the beginning of their friendship he already enjoyed spending time with Roger, but back then he thought that was just a platonic feeling. Now as he’s gotten older, he realized the butterflies weren’t because he’d found a new friend whom he could actually trust with anything. They’re different from that. Somehow like when he started dating Chrissie, but in the end his feelings for Roger outweighed those for his own girlfriend and their relationship didn’t work out. He had to break up with her because he didn’t love her anymore. He only told her that it’s no use trying to fix it when there’s nothing they could do.

Brian soon realized he was in love. He would have been happy, but it just hurt considering Roger’s feral love life. Seeing his friend leave a party early with a groupie has been hitting him harder than it should the past few years. He’s starting to wonder if that would change now that they’re married. Probably not, but would Roger still have as many one night stands? The answer is clearly yes, but Brian would become so jealous and blow up if he found out, even if he didn’t want to. He just loves him so much that he could easily become possessive.

Two hours after they arrived, the band have an interview for a local magazine - just like they do in most cities they visit. It isn’t all too new to the boys, so there’s almost nothing to worry about. Almost. When the four walk into the room, they all take a seat, Roger sitting down next to Brian, as always. It goes pretty well until in the middle of the interview, Brian notices he is still wearing his wedding ring. He glances over at Roger’s folded hands on his knee and starts internally panicking. Fuck, how is he going to explain it to the reporter if she asks? A voice snaps him out of his thoughts. “Brian?”

He blinks and turns his head back to the interviewer. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

The woman repeats her question. “You wrote the song ‘We Will Rock You’. How did you get the idea for the stomp-stomp-clap beat?”

“Oh, I wanted to let the audience be a part of the show since they often sing along during our gigs,” Brian explains, smiling politely like in every public appearance. “And due to the little space our fans have in the concert halls, I thought it would be a simple, yet effective method to ‘support’ the band without needing anything besides their feet and hands. It simply sounds amazing when hundreds of people do that.”

She nods and writes everything down as Brian subtly nudges Roger in the side, giving a nod to the rings. The blond nervously chews on his lip, looking up into his best friend’s eyes, obviously searching for help and praying they won’t get asked about this. Before they could take them off, the reporter’s eyes wander down to their hands, noticing the rings as well. Now they have to come up with a quick excuse. “Roger, may I ask why you and Brian are wearing rings? I thought you guys have left the glam phase behind.“

“Why not?” Roger asks with that charming smile of his.

“I mean, are you two…” She waved her hands between the two men, suspicion in her eyes. Two rockstars being married to each other would be a huge scandal, no question. It would be the truth, but it could possibly mean the end of Queen’s career and neither of them could ever forgive themselves if they were responsible for the breakup of the band.

Roger laughs to play it off a bit. “Oh, no. We act like a married couple, but we’re not.” Brian looks down and smiles before turning back to Roger and nodding. He silently thanks him for saving their asses. “No, they’re just accessories. Bri and Freddie used to wear the same nail polish and that didn’t mean anything either.”

The boys have probably never been this happy to get out of an interview in their entire career. They’d talked about the album and the tour before they could finally leave. Brian feels like the woman who was interviewing them got pretty sceptical after the rings question. He somehow knows the press would completely mix up their answers and start spreading rumours - which wouldn’t actually be rumours if they wrote about him and Roger being married… The whole situation is just so fucked up and it’s only the first day. Goodbye world.

Back in the hotel, Roger and John go out to explore the city while Brian is sitting in his room. The door opens and - this time invited - Freddie shows up. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes. It’s about Roger-”

“You don’t say,” Freddie chuckles. “Sorry, go on.”

Brian takes a deep breath. “What the fuck happened last night?”

“Didn’t you see the ring on your finger? And the photos? I think that’s enough proof, dear.” He sits down on the bed next to Brian.

The younger man rolls his eyes. “Do you remember anything about the… the wedding?” It’s so weird to have to ask his friend how his own wedding was.

He lays back as he reaches for the photos. “Alright, so I can’t recall all of it, but Deaky and I put what we have together. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“When we left the club. Nothing after that.” Brian shakes his head, trying his hardest to bring back a few more memories.

“Hm okay. We went to a casino then. John gambled for a bit and then we walked around the city. There was another wedding in front of a chapel and yeah… well, I joked around about you and Rog getting married because you’re basically an old couple and you’ve known each other for like 100 years.” Freddie laughs. “You took the whole thing a little too seriously and suggested actually doing it. Rog didn’t object and you two just marched in and told that guy you wanna get married! It was really funny to watch - at least for us two. I was your best man, by the way.”

“Jesus Christ…” Brian mutters. He can only imagine himself gushing over marrying Roger and being incredibly embarrassing while doing so. “And… and after that?”

“Obviously, I wasn’t present when you got it on, but after we got back to the hotel, you immediately dragged Rog upstairs and… let me just say the quiet ones are the loudest in bed,” he comments, smirking. “Say, are you a top?”

The curly haired man blushes furiously, only now completely realizing that he and his best friend hooked up with everyone knowing. “Fred! I got it!”

“You could be a little happier about it, sweetie.”

Brian sighs and buries his face in his hands. “I mean I am, but I didn’t want it to happen this fast. It’s just the circumstances and Roger wanting to annul the marriage and the interview… The press already hates us enough, we can’t have that shit!”

Freddie raises his eyebrows. “You are?”

“Y-yes… Actually, I-I don’t have an issue with being married to Roger - on the contrary - but with the public reacting to it…” Brian kicks off his clogs in frustration.

“Forget about the press. You said something about Roger suggesting to annul it-” The older man lights a cigarette.

“Yup. You know how I freaked out this morning? He said we’ll get the marriage annulled, but I don’t want that! I wanna stay married to him! But…”

“But what?”

He hesitated. “I don’t think he likes me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Brian? Of course he does, he’s your best friend!”

“I’m not talking about that-”

“I know, but trust me, sooner or later you’ll find out I’m right.” He winks and slings an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “I just feel there’s something between you guys. You’re perfect for each other!”

“If you say so…” Brian mumbles, not even attempting to contradict him anymore because he’s so stubborn.

Freddie grins cheekily. “Anyway, you’re in love with our little Roggie?”

He rolls his eyes at the annoying nickname Freddie likes to use to piss Roger off. “Yes. What should I do? I don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t. Just act like you always do so people don’t suspect things. And maybe try to keep calm and not freak out every two hours,” he laughs. “I’m sure Roger isn’t mad. He hasn’t really complained about it to me. You’ll be fine, don’t worry. You got this.”

Brian hugs him, patting his back. “Thank you, Fred.”

“No problem, darling.” Freddie smiles and hugs him back. “Now go have some fun or whatever, but remember we have to be at the arena at seven.”

[retro-aesthe]

Sidelines (Part 4)

(Hi! I’ve had a bit of writer’s block... but here it is. Tho it’s kinda more like a filler chapter... kind’a long... and btw, i plan for this story to only have 5 parts so... one more to go! anywayyyyyyy there we go. Someone requested to be tagged, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TUMBLR WORKS because before, I literally just reblog and favorite and that’s it. But I’ll try... I’m tryna do my best. AND thank you, all of you out there for the feedback my works had. it was surreal!!! okay enuf now. enjoyyy)

[ @fromthediariesofaoncer hi! ... and... um why can’t I tag you @yanginginthere ? hope u see this]

Alex Danvers x fem!reader

It hurt—the bright light behind your eyelids. It stung, and you wanted to groan so bad because of the bothering pain, but you ended up coughing softly because of the dryness of your throat. You moaned a little at the roughness the smallest cough you’ve ever heard cause you. Then you suddenly realized you’ve been hearing quietness, except for the constant beep and hum of machines.

“Y/n…?” You heard a hesitant voice ask. The immediate response your body made was to open your eyes, to look at the voice’s source. It was a dumb idea, considering how the bright light you were first complaining about surely have blinded you the moment you opened your eyes.

“… blind…” you managed to say. You heard footsteps overpowering the constant hums you’ve been hearing before. Then, there were what seem to be curtains moving—the distinct sound of metal sliding over metal. The light dimmed marginally, but it was significantly bearable compared before.

“Y/n…?” You heard the voice ask once again. You realized you were slowly succumbing to sleep’s enticement. You opened your eyes and Alex Danvers’s face came into view.

It was a horrifying moment of déjà vu, and suddenly you gasped as onslaught of memories attacked you. The earthquake. The woman… bleeding. You, bleeding.

“Lexie!” It was supposedly an exclamation, but you winced when your voice broke at the middle due to the sandpaper currently residing in your throat. You felt your best friend’s arm slightly push you up from your back, and the rim of a cold glass was gently placed on your lower lip.

“Take a sip,” Lexie whispered softly. It was then you noticed that she was the only one in the room aside from you. You cautiously took a sip of the warm water, then thanked god when it soothed the dryness of your throat.

“Lexie, I’m…” you trailed off when you settled back against the comfort of the bed. Your hand was touching the side of your head you remembered bleeding. You fingertips were met by a rough texture which your brain only classified as gauze. You suddenly became aware of everything around you: the gauze, the wires attached to you, the sound of machines, the room—you were in a hospital.

“Bleeding? Yeah, I’m aware. You’ve said that a thousand times already.” Lexie offered a small smile, the worry and concern evident in her eyes.

“What?” you dumbly asked. You were still trying to grasp everything—trying to grasp how the last thing you remembered was… telling Lexie you were bleeding, but it was in a cramped up room.

“You’ve woken up a couple of times in the past 36 hours… and telling me you’re bleeding was always the first thing you keep saying.” You followed Lexie with your eyes as she sat down on the chair beside your bed. You felt her warm hand gently hold yours, making your heartbeat faster… which only became worse when you heard how your heartbeat reflected on the machines. You swore you had an unhealthy red tint form on your cheeks. You turned your head away from your best friend as you’re definitely sure she didn’t miss the machine’s indication of your response to her touch. She went to medical school, for crying out loud!

Your face got even warmer when the hand holding yours squeezed lightly.

“The doctor said you’re expected to actually wake up today. Thank god you chose not to be dramatic for once,” Lexie softly said, making you smile a little. Then, you frowned.

“How long was I out?” you asked, finally registering the fact that you missed a couple of hours because you were unconscious.

“Two days.”

There was silence. Then, “You feel alright?” Lexie asked. You nodded your head slightly, cautious that you might get dizzy of any exaggerated movements. You were looking at her face intently, noting how new stress lines formed, and how Lexie could definitely use a few hours with her bed.

“I’m gonna alert them you’re awake now, okay?” You saw in your peripheral vision that she pressed a button. Silence once again filled the room.

When the doctor and nurses came in the room, the machines were checked and you were asked a few routine questions.

All you can think about the entire time was Lexie not letting go of your hand. It was warm, and though a small gesture, it was the best comfort you’ve ever had in your life.

▫️▫️▫️

“I’m gonna call the others…”

You hate how there was only silence in the room. For the past 10 minutes or so, you and Lexie just held hands, but did not talk about anything at all.

“Wait, Lexie,” you finally managed to say. She immediately looked into your eyes, searching for pain or any indicator that you’re anything besides fine. “Don’t you think we should… talk...? Whatever this is... you know, what’s happening.” You grew frustrated over the fact that you desperately wanted to point out the notable distance between you and your best friend, but can’t because you’re scared. You wanted for Lexie to get the hint, to understand what you were talking about without actually hearing it from you.

“I don’t want to stress you even more, Y/n. You were in surgery three days ago and you didn’t completely wake up for two days,” Lexie said. Your eyes widened at the word “surgery.” Of course, Y/n, your head practically faucet-dripped blood, why in the world wouldn’t you be in surgery?

The silence continued. Your heart aches as the obvious distance between you and Lexie seems to be slowly eating whatever relationship you had with her before. There was hollowness in Lexie’s voice which made you uncomfortable. You hate how everything seems to be changing and you can’t even keep up with its fast phase.

“I miss you,” you said in a low voice, looking at Lexie with pleading eyes. You saw how her posture suddenly went stiff. God damn it…

“You avoided me. For a week.” There was a slight edge in her tone. You winced, because frustrated Lexie is the worst Lexie. She took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm herself at the sudden rouse of her frustration. You fearfully watched her. You know she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, but when Lexie’s frustrated, she tends to let everything out, without filter, without breaks.

“You made me leave your apartment, Y/n. I tried to call you hundreds of times—but they all went straight to voicemail. Then I go to your apartment, and you weren’t there, and if it weren’t for Mrs. Lee, I wouldn’t have known that you just left your apartment… or—or something else. I just knew you made it a point to not be there when I could more likely visit you, since you know my schedule so well.

“Then… then next thing I know, you spread your arms wide open in the middle of danger. I had no idea where you were and—fuck—thank god Maggie found you. I had to fucking hear it from Kara that you were injured! You kept avoiding me, and I had no idea where you were and—what if, what if by any chance Maggie wasn’t there and nobody saw you and that woman—god, do you even have a clue how fucking terrified I was, huh, Y/n?”

You know well enough to not disrupt Lexie’s rants whenever she’s on one. You just watched as tears started to form on her eyes, when one fell down. It physically hurts you watching her chin tremble as she tried so hard to keep herself from crying. The grip on your hand became tighter, as if it was Lexie’s lifeline.

“You fell on the ground and I caught you and your head was bleeding so much. There was so much blood, Y/n. Much more than the woman under that damned car. Do you know how fucking scared I was when you wouldn’t wake up? The ambulance came and you still didn’t. Then we were in the ambulance and you did and all you told me was that you’re bleeding. God, Y/n, I was so fucking scared. I thought I was going to lose you… there was… there was so much blood and—and—“

A few tears leaked from your eyes as Lexie let go of your hand and curled down as sobs racked her form. You would have reached out, had it been possible for you to get up without help. You watched her helplessly, willing her with your eyes to look at you and hug you and lie down with you and just… lean on you.

“I’m so sorry, Lexie…” you said quietly, but your words were drowned out by her gasps and sniffs. After a minute or so, she straightened up and wiped her tears away. Tears were still streaming down her face but she looked at you with so much sorrow in her eyes.

Her left hand went on holding your free hand while her right hand reached out to wipe the few tears that escaped your eyes. The soft gesture made a few tears flow even more and you keep muttering “I’m sorry” to her. She was shaking her head then squeezed your hand tighter.

“I hate that I can’t blame anyone for what happened to you,” she admitted, her eyes training towards your bandaged head.

“I can’t lose you, Y/n,” she whispered, her voice coming out a plea. You offered a small smile to her, reveling in the comfort of her hand cradling your cheek.

“You won’t,” you said softly. The one week of avoiding Lexie gave you enough time to adjust to the situation. It was enough to prepare you for Maggie’s constant presence in your life, and the constant pain it will bring. The one week was enough to convince yourself to go back to what was before, to just ignore the kiss that happened and to not hope it will ever happen again.

Lexie will only just be your best friend.

▫️▫️▫️

The topic resurfaced on the third day after waking up. The whole gang was there, since it was Kara’s Earth birthday and she doesn’t want you to miss out on the celebration.

Cupcakes were everywhere, but they don’t beat Lexie’s gift to Kara—a mountain of potstickers. Kara was with you when Lexie arrived, carrying the huge gift she had. You taught Kara was going to solar flare with the excitement flowing from her every pore. Lexie had to physically restrain her from inhaling all of the potstickers in one sitting.

Eliza, J’onn, Winn, James, and Lena (since she definitely knows her girlfriend’s alter-ego) all came 30 minutes after Lexie. They were all creating noise, but you preferred the overlapping words and occasional loud laughter (definitely not Kara’s) over the reruns of Friends (though, you’ll forever love the show), documentaries, and constant hum of machines.

You still couldn’t sit up straight since the gash you had on your left torso was still healing. The bed was angled up slightly, so it could support you as you slightly sat up. Lexie was sitting on the chair beside you. You’ve seen more of her in the past three days than you had in the past three months. She was constantly on your side. Apparently, she chose to sow her invested day-offs just so she could take care of you. After a couple times of urging her to go to J’onn and request to go back to work, she managed to shut you up and just be appreciative of the gesture.

You watched Lexie laugh at something Winn said. She had three potstickers on her plate, and a slice of Eliza’s famous pie.

“So… um, isn’t Maggie part of the I-know-Kara-is-Supergirl squad? Where is she?” you asked lightly. You noticed how Lexie suddenly stopped smiling. You looked at the others. The whole room paused, all looking back at you. Their grave expressions made you think the worst.

“Oh my god,” you said, horrified. You looked at Lexie. “Was she… Is she hurt?” Lexie shook her head. Cold spread over your body. “Dead?!” You looked at the others in horror.

“God, no!” Lexie exclaimed. You looked at her for explanation. Well, what were they expecting? You weren’t a psychic like J’onn.

“Well then what?” you asked, frustrated.

“She broke up with me.” There was an awkward silence that settled in the room. You couldn’t help but notice how Lexie was staring intently at you, and there was just a hint of sadness in her face.

You know you were fucked up when hope practically burst right out of you.