#8x06 coda

[katyobsesses]

By its very definition

(1247 words) Summary:

By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy, and that is exactly what Eddie Diaz is trying to do. He’s been punishing himself for almost six months for pushing Chris into his parents’ waiting arms. But he’s shaved off his mustached disguise, he’s had a dance around his living room, and now he’s sitting next to his - unusually quiet - best friend, watching a cringey teen musical dramady and… Enjoying it?

Read on A03 or continue below

After closing the door Eddie looked down at the beer in his hand and then at Buck - making himself at home on Eddie’s couch. Eddie frowned slightly then shrugged. If Buck wanted to talk - about whatever it was that had sent him here - then he would. Eddie didn’t bother walking around the couch, simply stepping up and over onto the cushions and sitting next to Buck as Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll continued playing from every speaker in his house. 

He unscrewed his beer and took a sip, before looking over at Buck.

Next to him Buck was still completely silent, his eyes staring straight forward but unseeing, and Eddie frowned again, taking another sip and waiting for Buck to break the comfortable silence between them.

Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll ended, crossfading into Burning Love by Elvis, and, after a few seconds of the song, Buck finally spoke.

“Have you ever seen Glee?” Buck asked, and Eddie blinked in confusion.

“Bits and pieces,” He said, shrugging, “My sisters watched it… why?”

Buck was already reaching for the remote on the coffee table, turning on his TV and scrolling through Eddie’s Disney Plus account. Eddie turned off his music and watched with bemused amusement as Buck typed in Glee and pressed on the first result, settling into the couch and hugging a pillow to his chest, sipping on his beer.

Eddie wondered if he should go and put pants on, but decided to grab a blanket instead, laying it over his legs as he settled in comfortably too.

Again, if Buck needed to talk about whatever it was that had sent him to Eddie’s he would. If he simply wanted to watch a cringey teen musical dramady in silence sipping on beers? Then that’s what they’d do.

What Eddie hadn’t been expecting was to enjoy the show. 

They watched through the whole of the first episode in comfortable silence, each curled up in their own corners of the couch. It was weird to be watching something with Buck without him talking over it with random questions, or with his phone in hand googling those questions instead, but, honestly, as the episode went on Eddie found himself so engrossed with it that even the unusual silence and stillness from Buck wasn’t able to pull him away. 

Sure, it was cringey, and very much of it’s time, but there was a quality to it that made it… sort of charming. Not only that but, it was the sort of thing he’d never have allowed himself to watch as a teen. His sisters had watched it, but he’d always seen it as something a guy like him shouldn’t watch. It had singing, and dancing, and as such it was ‘for girls’. So he’d never joined his sisters.

And, well, he was sort of busy as it was airing, what with becoming a father, and getting married, and joining the army. 

But he was allowing himself, starting today, to do things that brought him joy and…

Apparently Glee was bringing him joy.

He huffed out laughs at the jokes and hummed along to the songs, and, as the episode ended with a rousing rendition of Don’t Stop Belivin’ , he’d even shed a tear. 

There was something about Mr. Schue deciding to leave something he loved to focus on providing for his wife and unborn child that had pulled at Eddie’s already weak heartstrings. 

And then he’d decided to stay, to… open himself up to joy instead of doing what was expected of him.

He’d given a soft chuckle when that plaque reading by its very definition, glee is about opening yourself up to joy had appeared on screen a few minutes into the episode, but… somehow he hadn’t expected the episode to lean so heavily on the sentiment.

It was scarily on the nose.

If he was someone like Buck, or Chim, he’d think it a sign from the universe and…

What if it was? 

Why was he denying that it could be? Hell, a priest had literally been sent to him in a juice bar that morning to tell him to open himself up to joy, and now his best friend had randomly turned up - after he’d shaved off his mustached disguise and danced half naked in his living room - and put on a show about singing and dancing and opening yourself up to joy .

Maybe the universe really was screaming at him…

“ From the top! ” Mr. Schue said on the screen, and the credits started to roll. Eddie wiped the lone tear from his cheek and swallowed against the rise of feelings that had suddenly started to swirl in his chest.

He was just like Mr. Schue, except… he hadn’t chosen Glee. He’d chosen the security of the Army when Shannon had told him she was pregnant. He’d married her and gone off to fight in a war instead of…

He wasn’t even sure what he would have done instead, if he was honest about it. He hadn’t had a Glee to fall back on. He and Shannon had barely been 19 when Chris had been born, Eddie hadn’t had the chance to find his glee…

Okay, so maybe he’d been denying himself joy for a lot longer than the five months Chris had been gone…

He blinked at the realization and emptied his beer, before placing it with a thud onto the coffee table and picking up the remote. He paused the second episode as it began to autoplay, and looked at Buck.

“What happened?” He asked Buck, who turned away from the TV screen and towards Eddie. His eyes were dulled, his mouth downturned, and he still clutched the pillow to his chest, but he no longer looked quite as downtrodden as he had when Eddie had opened the door to him. He blinked at the question, looking between the TV and Eddie.

“He chose the glee club,” Buck answered and Eddie snorted out a laugh.

“Not in the show , Buck,” He said, shaking his head, “But good to know you were paying attention and not just staring into space.”

Eddie turned his body completely towards Buck and gave him a look.

“Why are you here, and why are we watching Glee ?”

Buck sighed, then buried his face in the pillow. He mumbled something into the fabric. All Eddie could make out were the words Josh and post-glee world , Tommy and last . And possibly something about Abby, which surely wasn't right.

“Huh?” He asked, brows knitting together, and Buck’s face emerged once again. His eyes were misty.

“Tommy broke up with me,” He said simply, and definitely not the long rambling sentence he’d just mumbled.

But Eddie offered him a look of sympathy anyway, leaning over and giving his knee a squeeze before letting go.

“I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asked. Buck shook his head, his jaw ticking as he grinded his teeth together. He grabbed the remote and unpaused the TV, settling back into the couch.

Eddie let him, he’d talk when he needed to talk, and honestly? Eddie wanted to keep watching the show. 

And that was something he was letting himself do, now, want things and follow through on that want. Even if they were small things like re-enacting that scene from Risky Business, or letting himself watch a show about a show choir.

Maybe next time he went to the juice bar, he'd actually get himself a juice.

[alivingtypo]

It Was A Matter of Time (2125 words) by alivingtypo Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s08e06 Confessions (9-1-1 TV), Coda, Coming Out, Gay Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), 8x06 coda, Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary: “You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?” Buck’s eyes found his and scanned down to Eddie’s bare thighs. He quirked an eyebrow. “Are you?” or Eddie distracts Buck from his break up with another confession

[tiringwritings]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han, Maddie Buckley, Josh Russo, Tommy Kinard, Bobby Nash Additional Tags: Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Feelings Realization, no beta i always die like a soldier, Post-Episode: s08e06 Confessions (9-1-1 TV), another 8x06 coda!!, Getting Together, First Kiss, Blow Jobs, Bottom Evan "Buck" Buckley, Top Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Idiots in Love, Evan "Buck" Buckley is a Mess, Let Buck Fuck, Bathroom Sex Summary:

One thing was clear: it wasn't how he had imagined his evening to go. Not even in his wildest dreams had he pictured himself like this—bent over, fucked by Eddie, of all people. But here he was, legs shaking, fingers clutching the edge of the sink like it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

or: another 8x06 coda where they end up fucking nasty :)

[bekkachaos]

why don't we dance away your fear of love?

8x06 coda | 1.5k

"I'm good," he said, followed by a nod as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

“No you’re not,” Eddie got to his feet and left the room, drawing Buck’s eyes to him.

Seemed like he was going through a thing of his own. Buck didn’t even know Eddie owned tightey-whiteys. Not that he knew about all of Eddie’s underwear, but he’d only ever seen the guy in boxers before.

When he came back into view Eddie had a bottle of tequila in one hand and a pack of playing cards in the other.

“If we’re not talking then we’re drinking,” he said, giving Buck a smile and raising his eyebrows until Buck gave him the slightest of smiles.

Okay, so maybe that didn’t sound like the worst thing they could do.

or; Buck comes to Eddie's house because he can't bear to be alone. Eddie's trying to feel joy, and he lets Buck feel a little moment of it too.

read on ao3

[plasticbagdepot]

soothe the soul

1.3k | 8x06 coda

Eddie slides open the peephole and looks through, and, like he just knew, on the other side of the door is Buck. He wastes no time closing the peephole and unlocking the door. Buck just looks at him blankly when Eddie opens the door. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even give Eddie’s whole get-up the little cock of his eyebrow, just pulls a bottle out of the six pack in his hand and hands it to Eddie as he pushes right past. “Don’t ask me how I am,”

buck goes to eddie; they talk

[read on ao3]

[melancholyghoul]

It is done ! Another 8x06 coda for the books people ! 

Summary Below the cut <3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s08e06 Confessions (9-1-1 TV), Episode: s08e06 Confessions (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard Break Up, Feelings Realization, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tommy Kinard Bashing, First Kiss, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz First Kiss, Drunken Kissing, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Biting, Hair-pulling, Comfort, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs Summary:

There's a beat of silence as Eddie catches his breath, he has Buck's face in both of his hands. Their eye contact doesn't waver, they a fully seeing each other in this moment. Buck's eyes are wide and enchanting, he takes a sharp breath and swallows, on the exhale, 'Can I kiss you?'

He asks it without moving another muscle in his face. Eddie instantly gets flustered, heat rising to his cheeks, blood pounding in his ears. He's certain he must have heard incorrectly. He didn't just ask if he could-

'Please, Eddie, can I kiss you?' Buck grips Eddie's wrists in front of his face, Eddie feels such an intense fluttering in his stomach. He feels a sense of nerves and excitement that he has never felt before, not even back when he was a teenager and Shannon had asked for him to come behind the bleachers. He thinks back to what the priest said earlier today. He needs to choose joy.

'Yes.' he breathes, barely above a whisper.

-------------

or

-------------

Another 8x06 coda because that couch scene is making me insane :)

[fiona-fififi]

...

[pllsetskyonice]

last fic of the year is almost ready to go, will be up around this time tomorrow once I've edited it!

[hotshotsxyz]

where else but here, who else but us?

(8x06 coda) (buddie) (986 words)

Eddie wakes to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing, and for the first time in maybe his entire life, he lets himself luxuriate in it. If he’d actually made it to bed last night, he might even go back to sleep.

He stands and stretches, then shivers a little bit as the cool morning air tickles his bare thighs. Eddie grins. He just—

He did something for himself, and the world didn’t end. He did something for himself, and not only did the world not end, it got a little bit bigger and a little bit brighter. He did something for himself and Buck showed up, and that joy he was feeling burned a little bit hotter.

Eddie scoops his phone up off the floor and finds that it’s completely out of juice. He huffs a soft laugh and plugs it in. It’s a silly thought, but—Eddie can’t remember the last time his phone died. How could it, when he’s been so damn determined to avoid anything that might bring him a little joy. Hell, he hasn’t even been letting himself text Buck unless Buck texts him first.

He pads down the hall and into his bedroom and pulls on the softest pair of sweats he owns. He changes into an old, threadbare t-shirt, leans against the wall and exhales.

In his kitchen, Buck is making breakfast. In Texas, Christopher is safe and probably still asleep, and that’s a whole lot more than Eddie’s been letting himself acknowledge.  Here in LA, Eddie is alive and healthy and, if the priest that was maybe hitting on him is to be believed, allowed to forgive himself. He’s not there yet, but he can let himself join Buck in the kitchen.

On his way, Eddie makes a pit stop in the living room. His phone, up to an impressive 8% battery, has already reconnected to the Bluetooth speaker that’s tucked behind one of the photos on the mantle. He queues up a playlist that he and Buck have been curating together for years. Soft music fills the room and Eddie kind of wants to cry.

This is what he’s been denying himself. Easy mornings and raucous evenings and his best friend filling all the empty spaces he’s always been too afraid to try to fill himself. Eddie walks into the kitchen and finds Buck already looking for him.

“Morning,” Buck says, a little rough, like it’s the first word he’s said today. It probably is.

“Hey,” Eddie replies. He steps into Buck’s space and pulls him into a hug, just because he wants to. He feels Buck exhale and melt into him. “You okay?” he asks softly.

Buck pulls back from Eddie’s embrace and bites his lip. “I, uh—honestly?”

Eddie nods.

“I don’t really know,” Buck admits. “I think I just—or, I thought—I don’t know.” He lets out a frustrated huff.  

Eddie slides his hand down Buck’s arm until his fingers are circling Buck’s wrist. “You don’t have to,” he offers.

Buck’s head tips to the side. “You seem different,” he observes quietly.

“I am, I think,” Eddie says.

“What does that mean?” Buck asks

Eddie considers for a moment. “I think I’m just… ready to let some things go,” he says. “Maybe let some new things in.”

Buck smiles, small but genuine. “That’s—I’m glad.”

“Me too.” It’s incredible, but Eddie’s pretty sure he actually means it.

Buck’s gaze slides away from Eddie and hits the floor. “I, um. Me and Tommy. We—or, he—he broke up with me,” he says.

Something clenches in Eddie’s chest. “Then he’s an idiot,” he says.

“Maybe,” Buck says with a kind of hopeless shrug.

“He is,” Eddie says with conviction. “You’re—“ Sunshine. Joy. Perfect. Everything. He lets go of Buck’s wrist and twists their fingers together. “You’re the best person I know,” he says. “If Tommy couldn’t see that, that’s on him.”

Buck blows a disbelieving breath out through his nose. “He said I was going to break his heart.”

“Getting his heart broken by you would be a privilege,” Eddie replies before he can think better of it.

Buck lets out a pained noise. “But I wouldn’t—or, I didn’t want—” He cuts himself off with a frown. He looks up through his lashes and Eddie and Eddie—

Oh, Eddie wants.

“Anyone who’s lucky enough to be loved by you, even for a second, should know it’d be worth it,” he says.

“Eds,” Buck breathes.

“I mean it,” Eddie says, squeezing his hand. “And if you don’t, I’ll believe it enough for both of us.”

Buck laughs wetly. “You make it hard for a guy to wallow in a breakup, you know that?”

Eddie grins. “Good.” He steps back, tugging Buck’s wrist as he goes. “Come here,” he says, and Buck follows easily.

The coffee and bacon are quickly cooling on the counter, but there’s music in the air and Buck’s in his arms and Eddie’s pretty sure he wants to kiss his best friend. And he thinks that might even be a good thing.

“Eddie, what?” Buck asks breathlessly as Eddie puts a hand on his waist and spins them both.

“We’re dancing,” Eddie says, smiling.

“O-okay,” Buck says, clumsily following his lead.

Eddie can’t help the laugh that bubbles from his chest. A small grin spreads across Buck’s face.

“Maybe I would have,” Buck murmurs quietly.

“What?” Eddie asks, spinning him again, just because he can.

“Broken his heart.”

Warmth spreads from Eddie’s chest to his fingertips. “Yeah?” he asks breathlessly.

Buck hums but doesn’t clarify further. Eddie, though, Eddie’s pretty sure he gets it.

He and Buck—well. It’s hard to imagine a world where they don’t choose each other, over and over and over again. It’s them. How could they ever end up anywhere but here?

Eddie wants. He tightens his grip on Buck and keeps dancing.

[gayeddieagenda]

ode to joy

buck/eddie | 8x06 coda | rated e | 3.2k

“Okay,” Buck says. "Let's do that.” Eddie frowns. “Do what? Dance?” “Sure,” Buck says. “That, or whatever else you were thinking of doing. We can…be joyful.”

read on ao3

[userbuddie]

honey, i laugh when it sinks in 8x06 coda | pairing: buck/eddie | wc: 3.1k | rating: E

“You’re not gay.”

“So?”

Maybe he is. Maybe he isn’t. He doesn’t think it really matters. What matters is this, is them. Maybe Eddie’s queer, maybe it’s just Buck, but he knows he’s feeling something. Something he’s too happy to hold himself back from acting on.

“Eddie, I can’t risk you.”

“You’re not. You wouldn’t be. Do you want this?” Do you want me?

“Yes,” Buck answers immediately. “Yes, yes, of course I do. Have you seen you? Eddie, I’d be crazy not to.”

Eddie laughs, a bubbly, joyful little thing that rings like a bell. He doesn’t even recognize it coming out of himself, but it feels good. This feels good.

“Then want me,” he says. “Want me.”

or: what happens on the couch after 8x06

read on ao3

[doeeyeseddie]

your shoulders brush (no proof, one touch)

“It’s not funny,” Buck whines. “I just thought– we have– were having a good time together. And he’s been so great through the whole figuring myself out, he made me feel so, um, so secure in my sexuality, you know?” “Well, you’re not any less bisexual if you’re not dating him,” Eddie shrugs. “So I guess he didn’t feel the same way, then?” “Kind of?” Buck turns on the couch and pulls one of his legs up. His knee nudges Eddie’s thigh, and Eddie is suddenly very aware that he’s not wearing pants. ~ a coda to 8x06

1.1k, rated G [read on ao3]

[bekkachaos]

I wish I didn't linger on every thought

8x06 coda | 700 words

Buck goes to Eddie's so he doesn't have to be alone. They don't really talk, but they don't really need to. aka, a continuation of the final scene in 8x06

Eddie didn't get up to turn the music off, in fact he was quite enjoying it. He never really played music around the house and it had been far, far too quiet lately.

As he leant back he turned his head to look curiously at Buck. He looked like someone had dropped him in cold water and put him out on their doorstep. Then there was the way he had already finished his beer when Eddie was only halfway through.

He took another bottle from his six pack and held it up, looking back at Eddie who just shook his head and gestured to his own bottle.

Buck sighed, cracking it open and taking another long swig.

"Slow down there," Eddie said, nudging Buck's knee with his own. "You only brought six."

He smiled like he was prompting Buck to do the same, but he didn't.

"I'm sure you've got one or two in the fridge," he said instead, sullen and monotone.

"Probably," Eddie said, putting his bottle to his lips.

He bobbed his head to the song as it played, taking in a deep breath and resting his head against the back of the couch. He was trying really hard not to feel guilty for taking a moment to feel joy, to do something silly and frivolous just because he could. It felt nice, and he was going to lean into that. He had to.

He turned back to look at Buck, now with his elbows propped on his knees and his fingers peeling at the label on the bottle in his hands.

"You... want to talk about it?" he asked, watching the way Buck's lips tightened as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"No, not really," Buck said in that same listless voice.

He turned his eyes to Eddie, and god they were so sad. Eddie thought that maybe there might have already been tears, or that they were so glassy because he was desperately trying to hold them in. He knew when to push and when to just let him be though.

If Buck wanted to talk then he would (usually it was impossible to get him to stop), but that didn't seem to be what he needed right now.

Buck's eyebrow cocked slightly as he gave Eddie a once over look.

"Do you?" he asked.

Eddie smiled, shaking his head and letting out a low chuckle.

"Nah," he said, taking in a steadying breath. "No I'm um, I'm good."

It might be the first time in a long time that he's said that and actually meant it.

"Good," Buck nodded, turning away from him and back to the disintegrating label at his fingers.

"You want to put a movie on or something?" Eddie offered.

He didn't mind just sitting there with Buck, but he seemed like he could use something to take his mind of whatever seemed to be revolving around in his head, not to mention some company.

"Yeah," he said, lips growing soft in the corners. "That sounds good."

"Any suggestions?" Eddie asked, and Buck turned to look at him.

"Risky Business?" he said, completely straight faced.

Eddie just looked back at him a moment, holding his eyes until he saw just the hint of a sparkle, and his lips pulled up in a smile.

It was a shadow of his usual one, but it was there, it was enough to let Eddie know that he was okay, just hurting.

Eddie let out a laugh and shook his head.

"Alright wise guy," he said fondly, getting to his feet with a groan and reaching for the rest of the beers at Buck's side. "Give me those, I'll put them in the fridge, you just pick something."

He started walking towards the kitchen when he heard Buck's voice call him back.

"Hey Eddie?"

He turned, resting one hand on the wall and looking over at him with eyes that answered his soft question.

"Can I crash here tonight?" he said, eyes crinkling in the corners. "I just... kinda don't want to go back home."

Eddie's smile was warm, feeling. Seeing Buck so in need of comfort left a tugging sensation in his chest.

"Couch is all yours, anytime. You know that."

Buck let out a sharp sigh and Eddie watched just a little bit of relief flood over him.

"Thanks," he said.

Eddie just gave him a nod, watching for a moment as Buck reached for the remote before going to put the beers away, and check that he had enough in the fridge in case Buck needed just a little more.

[tiltingheartand]

oh my heart, in this universe so vast

buck/tommy, teen, 8.3k; 8x06 fix-it/coda

Time keeps on passing, whether or not Buck wants it to. Talking to his family and friends helps.

Talking to Tommy helps, too. Eventually.

(read on ao3)

[dadbodbuck]

does the swallow dream of flying?

Rating: G | WC: 1.6k | Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Summary:

Tommy calls Eddie after he breaks up with Buck. Eddie has some choice words for him. Coda for 8x06.

{ Read it here on Ao3! }

OR read below!

“Eddie,” Tommy says, voice hoarse on the other end of the line. He sounds—if not drunk, then so heartbroken it sounds like inebriation. “I wanted to—I’m calling to say goodbye.”

Eddie’s not quite sure if he means it the way he thinks he does, but his stomach almost falls out through the soles of his feet anyway. He sits bolt upright in bed, carefully extricating himself away from Buck, who’s doing his best impression of a endoparasite (“A parasite that lives on the skin of its host, Eddie, it’s really fascinating stuff—”) and somehow latched onto Eddie’s waist with an iron grip while also being dead asleep.

What little vestiges of sleep had been clinging to him fall completely away as he steps into his own hallway, quietly hissing, “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I mean—at home?” Tommy says, confused, and okay, yeah, he’s definitely slurring his words a little, “Where else would I be?”

Eddie sighs and drags a hand over his face. “Are you going to be safe? Do I need to call someone?”

“No! No, it’s not like that,” Tommy assures him, “Sorry, I should have clarified. I’ll be okay. This is just… this is it. For us. Since Ev—since Buck and I broke up.”

“From what I heard, you’re the one who broke up with him,” Eddie huffs, “Or did I just spend the last three hours getting snot on my nice white shirt for a mutual thing?”

“This is what I mean!” Tommy insists, “He’s your best friend. I’m—I know I don’t rank that high. I just… fuck, I really enjoyed spending time with you these past six months. It’ll—it’ll always be,” a rough, shaky breath, “I’ll remember it fondly.”

Eddie feels a shocking flare of irritation, and it leads him out onto his back patio, so he knows he won’t wake Buck up. “What the fuck happened, man?”

“I had—I had to end it,” Tommy says, with a shake in his voice like a motorcycle’s death wobble, “It wasn’t going to last. If I didn’t pull the plug it would have broken me. I didn’t want to—I didn’t want it to get to the point where either one of us would get our hearts broken.”

“Really? Because from where I’m sitting, neither one of you sound especially put together right now,” Eddie positively seethes, “He’s fucking gutted, Kinard. He told me—” (“I didn’t know if I loved him this morning, and then he called me Buck and I felt sick. What—what else could it be?”) “—well, he told me a lot that, frankly, I don’t think you should hear from anyone but him. And you don’t even know what you did to him because you ran! You didn’t even try—”

“Please stop,” Tommy says, sounding smaller than Eddie has ever heard him, “It’s… it’s better this way.”

“Better for who?” Eddie snaps.

“For him!” Tommy insists, “For both of us, but especially for him. I’m not the forever guy. I’m not his forever guy, and I’m not yours, either. I just want… I want a clean break. I—I want—”

There’s a sniffle, a choked-off sob, and Tommy says, “I just want to be left alone. It would hurt less if people would just leave me the fuck alone.”

“That’s a shitty excuse, and you know it,” Eddie accuses, “Tommy, listen. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, I’m saying this because—despite the fact that you’re apparently the biggest idiot I’ve ever met—I care about you. I care about you outside of your relationship to Buck. Or did you forget the fact that you were my friend before you were his boyfriend?”

“So, what,” Tommy says, irritation seeping into his voice, “You want to keep talking to me? I know how that goes. You’ll text me every once in a while, we won’t hang out if Buck’s going to be there, so you’ll lose interest and our fun trips and sparring sessions will be fewer and further between, and it’ll hurt. It’ll hurt worse than this. Why do you think I’m doing this, Eddie? I’m doing this because it’s the only way I can keep myself sane.

“You want to know why? You want to know why I broke up with him? Because I woke up the morning of our anniversary and realized I was falling in love with him. I haven’t been able to eat. I haven’t been able to sleep. I—I realized I would let him do anything to me, and that’s not something I ever want to feel again. So I couldn’t. There—there’s your fucking answer. I broke up with him because a little heartbreak is better than ever letting myself get hurt like that ever again.”

The words kind of prickle at some sense in the back of Eddie’s brain. The anger fades a little, and into something a lot more like concern. “Hurt like what, Tommy?”

“I don’t—I don’t know how to tell someone no once they’re in my life like that,” Tommy confesses through gritted teeth, “Maybe it’s my dad’s fault, maybe Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’s fault, maybe it’s just me. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has ended in me making the same mistake. I stayed too long, I let them—I let them believe I wanted to marry them, or I let them take out their anger on me, or I—I—other stuff. Evan—Buck doesn’t deserve that.”

“You’re right,” Eddie acquiesces, “He doesn’t. He deserves a partner who can communicate openly with him. Which you had been doing. You’re capable of being open, Tommy. You did it before.”

Tommy pauses on the other end of the line. “I—I don’t know what to do, Eddie.”

“Did you want to break up with him?” Eddie presses.

“No,” Tommy says, easy as breathing, “Of course not. I want him around for the rest of my life. But that’s… selfish.”

“And breaking up with him because you don’t want to talk through something difficult and scary is so altruistic,” Eddie counters, “You know, there’s this thing Buck says about love—you don’t find it, you make it. I think he heard it on a scene we were at years ago. From this old gay couple, been together for decades and decades.”

Tommy’s quiet on the other end, and then Eddie hears the hitch of his breath. Tommy is sobbing, silent and restrained, but so hard the exhalation of breath sounds nearly painful.

(“I’m starting to think the curse wasn’t just Billy Boils. Maybe it’s me—I mean, I move into Abby’s place, and she leaves me. I pick out an apartment with Ali, and she leaves me. Taylor moves in, and she leaves me. And now this? I can’t… Eddie, I can’t keep doing this. I’m—maybe I’m just the guy who’s good for a fun time, not a long time. I—what am I doing wrong?”

“Buck, you’re not doing anything wrong. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you think—do you think you could ever fall in love with me?”

“I think if I wasn’t this way, I already would have.”)

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, Tommy,” Eddie says, “But I really think you should talk to him. Tell him where your head’s at. Buck’s really good at—at understanding why you hurt him, and he’s even better at forgiving.”

“I—I—I can’t—”

“You can,” Eddie insists, “So pull yourself together, do some box breathing, get some sleep, and come over to my house tomorrow. I’ll make my hangover cure. I’ll lock the doors if I have to.”

Tommy’s quiet, which Eddie interprets as a fully-blown panic attack.

“If you don’t, I will call Athena Grant,” Eddie threatens, “You don’t want to know the things she’s willing to do for Buck. I’ve seen her break at least three laws with my own eyes.”

This, at least, gets a laugh out of Tommy. “Okay—Jesus, yeah. What time?”

“If you’re not over here by nine I’m sending the cavalry,” Eddie says primly, “And bring flowers. Nobody’s ever gotten Buck flowers before.”

Tommy takes a slow, shaky breath out. “Thanks, Eddie. You didn’t—you didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“Everyone always says Buck has a habit of worming his way into your heart, but nobody ever talks about me,” Eddie grins, “You’re stuck with me now, Kinard. Rain or shine. Even when you’re the stupidest motherfucker on the planet.”

“I’ll text you tomorrow when I’m on my way,” Tommy says, “I’ll—I should go eat some carbs and drink water now.”

“Take care of yourself, man,” Eddie says, “And don’t you ever call me to say goodbye again. Or break up with Buck like that. Also—call him Evan. It’s fucking weird to hear you call him Buck.”

“Okay,” Tommy acquiesces, quiet. “Damn. I was so worried about falling in love with Evan that I didn’t even realize I already loved you.”

“I’m sneaky like that,” Eddie says, “I’ll see you tomorrow—or else.”

(The next day, Tommy knocks on the door at nine sharp. He hasn’t changed out of his pajamas, his hair is a mess, he looks too gaunt and the bags under his eyes could fit a small country. But he’s holding a bouquet of wildflowers.

“I got this one because they’re the same color as your eyes,” Tommy says to Buck, who stands in the living room with his mouth ajar.

“What’s going on right now?” Buck says, eyes darting over to Eddie suspiciously.

“I’m going on a walk,” Eddie says, putting his sunglasses on his forehead and twisting at the hips to pop his back, “Don’t fuck on any of my furniture.”)

[merthurians-prat-and-idiot]

9-1-1 Buddie 8x06 coda (major spoilers!)

The spirit of Eddie Diaz possessed me and here this is! V unedited as its almost 4am for me but enjoy!

Also on Ao3

🚒💫

"Did you shave your moustache?"

Its not the first thing Eddie had been expecting Buck to mention, when he'd waited him out to hear what was going on.

But, another part of Eddie sparks just a little. Something saying 'he noticed'.

Eddie shaved his trauma based facial hair, put on a song and danced around like he was a kid again. Like he was stealing the mixtape Adriana's boyfriend made her, blasting it full volume while everyone was at church and he blagged a pulled muscle from baseball practice (he only got away with that because the only thing worse to Ramon Diaz than a son, 'a man of the house' being taken down by a sore leg, was his son ditching the match and embarassing them). He would jump the stairs in twos or sometimes threes in time with the music, slide down the bannister, knee slide across the kitchen floor- playing every song on a loop (ignoring the way his heart flopped in his chest when Adri's boyfriend whispered his dedications between songs).

He'd let loose in his own house this time, joy bursting within him and then his door had been knocked on, his best friend came in, sat beside him and noticed it all.

Or, at least the moustache.

And probably the shirt, underpants and socks look.

Plus he was pretty sure Buck was sitting on the fly swatter air guitar right now.

Eddie grins unabashedly, feeling his smooth upper lip tug.

"Yeah I did, what'd you think?"

He gives his best pout just for-

Buck exhales a laugh, his head ducking with a just there smile.

There it is.

"Suits you- not that uh- not that the whole, what did Chim call it?"

"Magnum"

"Right! Magnum look didn't- but it was kinda getting a bit too similar to Gerrard and that is not a mix up I want to be part of"

Eddie snorts.

"Were you actually worried about accidentally greeting him as me? He'd sure learn a hell of a lot about racoons if you did"

"Hey- racoons are adorable and they're super intelligent!"

Eddie raised his hands in acquiesce.

"I'm not saying anything against racoons Buck, you've pleaded their case already and besides, Christopher-"

He cuts himself off and watches Buck suck in a small breath.

"Christopher loves them too"

It doesn't hurt quite so much. He finds himself smiling again.

"So, the moustache the only thing you noticed?" he sinks further into the couch, shoulder brushing Buck's.

"I figured you'd just put all your other clothes in the wash" Buck gestures up and down at him with a smirk.

He gets an eyeroll in return.

"What about you?" Eddie asks.

The question is light, but Eddie would be lying if he said he wasn't getting curious, watching the way Buck seems to curl back into himself, a halligan settling back across his shoulders.

He lets the silence linger for a moment the way he knows Buck needs.

Finally there's a sigh.

"Tommy broke up with me".