#80s stancest??

[reverie-st4rz]

Small doodle thingy :D

What if they actually reconciled and stuff instead of Ford getting pushed through the portal. Of course they still fought though ig.

[fakeusernamelol]

Sorry I'm obsessed with bad ending teen dad stancest--

When Ford leaves home for college he takes Stan with him, Stan thinks it's fine, it's not their boat but it's basically what he used to wants, they're out of jersey and they're okay. Fiddleford asks him what he wants out of life sometimes but that question's made him sick since he was twelve and realized he wasn't smart enough to be much more than a housewife for whatever man he ended up with. Instead he tells Fiddleford he's gonna be a pirate, because it makes him laugh. Then Ford wants to go to Gravity Falls, and Stan's back to being alone with him. By the time they're 27 he's stopped trying to keep his hair short, he makes for a piss poor Ma as far as hes concerned but the twins aren't old enough to get that yet. Bill gets mad at Ford so Ford gets mad at Stan, and Stan sleeps on the floor next to the kids' beds because Ford's better than their father, he won't lay a hand on him in front of the kids, and Stan uses it because hes a conniving coward with a distant look in his eyes that their own Ma used to have.

But then the portal, it drives Fiddleford insane, Fiddleford tells him Ford is dangerous, that he's going to kill them. And Stan didn't believe it until he spent a night barricading a door covered in height marks and crayon while Bill tried to claw his way in and then the next morning when he caught Ford crying in front of the TV, Ford punched him full in the face in front of the twins.

So it was so easy, hitting Ford back for once, shoving him just a little too far and letting the portal take him away, leave Stan with the house and the kids and a new name to inherit and the freedom to cut his hair and get himself the glasses he needed and call himself Stan instead of what Ford called him.

SORRY IF I RAMBLED TOO MUCH IM EATING YOUR DRYWALL I NEED MORE AU--

would that be a win-lost or a win-win?

PLEASE PLEASE DON'T APOLOGISE WHEN YOU ARE GIVING ME EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, I LOVE YOU AND OF COURSE I'M GIVING YOU MORE DEAR ANON you and me are now friends and i don't take no for answer 🤭🤭💖💖💖 Also what a good name for this au, im using it now 😘

(tw: Transphobia, Misogyny, Abuse, a lot of implied noncon yadda yadda you already know where's this going 🤷)

Stanley needed something to hold on to try to survive this new life, it's not exactly what he always dreamed but it's not bad, he has ford and that's all he has always needed, isn't it? He can get used to, come on he has always been seen this way he can get through it.

But when he met Fiddleford those thoughts were becoming harder to support again, a new person, new air and new perspective. Sure he wasn't going to tell him all those crazy thoughts he had because that would make ford mad but he can express a little of it, fidds wouldn't ever know that those jokes were actually his dreams but at least he can say them and think a bit of them every once and then to distract a bit from the real life. Maybe... Who knows,maybe one day Ford wouldn't be this harsh with him and he and their kids could still sail the world once he's done with college! Joke's on him, of course they were going to do what ford had in mind and he can't say anything, after all if he's not in the streets is thanks to him so,heh, could be worse. going to miss fidds anyway...

But well, not time for thinking about himself, they are already grown adults and since he's not getting a job the least he can do is be a good as possible mom for their already 10-year-old twins. Ever since they've been in Gravity Falls, Stan can swear that he's seen all kinds of strange creatures but Ford seems delighted with it and only times he doesn't talk to him in a rude tone is when he says something about them so, it's not that scarier as it was the first times. He doesn't quite understand what Ford is actually doing with that information, but after that he goes to the basement and warns him and the kids to stay away from this as possible, and he's going to obey for his own sake.

...At least as much as he can because things are becoming even weirder, he has seen Ford obsess over an investigation before, but this time he seemed to be going genuinely crazy, not all bad tho, at least fidds was back again and having a new face in the place was genuinely a good thing for him, sure he was here for working but anyway stan would try to sneak up on them like bringing them something to drink after a long day of work in the basement, Ford wasn't so harsh when Fiddleford was around so he wasn't so scared to do that and share a few words with a good friend not knowing that ford would make him pay for that later.

« what did I tell you about going down the basement, [ ] ? You have your things upstairs with the kids. »

It was fine, he deserved it. He has never said anything about Ford's abuse, because ever his teenhood he knows he deserves it, He only knows how to screw things. Maybe if he hadn't broken that stupid machine ford would change his mind but he had to fuck it. Yes, he sometimes still daydreams about a world where ford could accept him, a world where ford would hug him often and not hurt him again and maybe, a world where he calls him stanley for once... but time has passed and his hope has faded away, Now he just wishes that thoughts to leave his mind once for all.

Suddenly things get worse. «they could?» it seems to be.

Ok, sleeping in the kids room wasn't so bad, sure the floor was cold and he only had a blanket in order to not die of hypothermia but at least he had his kids near him and that was fine, ford wouldn't try to make something to him with them near. Now, seeing the eyes of that friend he always thought of like a kind of safe place full of fear and warning him of such an unthinkable danger for him what's indeed something he would never forget and fuck shouldn't do it. He thinks he knew what Ford was capable to do, sure he's angry with him ever since and his touch is not the gentlest, but stan didn't think he would go so far as to endanger himself, much less his children... Seems like everything he thinks is really just bullshit, he says to himself while using his body to lock the door of the kids room while hearing those strange creepy laughs and scratches from behind the door.

Ok so things are going to be dangerous now, but the next morning when he sees ford crying with his hands in his face and his legs on the floor he gets second thoughts, something was wrong with ford, he don't get what but maybe he could...

So you know, Stan has endured a lot of things ford has done: the words, the insults, the abuse, the punches, the constant contempt and more but punching him in front of their kids was enough.

For the first time ever since that night in the bathroom floor stan had enough of ford and didn't even think twice before giving him the punch he has always deserved it. Not punch, punches.

HE was angry, HE was tired, and not even the cries of his little children in the background had made him stop while Ford tried, like the coward he really was, to flee from him when he saw that this time his blows were not saving him.

Funny, stan thought, « I always protected ya' from Crampelter and his herd, no matter what. Ya' we're afraid of givin' them a good punch but what about me, sixer? Are ya' scared of me now? »

Stanley was stupid, but he was stronger, even if ford has always despised him for being born as a woman, HE was stronger than him and for once he wasn't scared of his rejection.

But.. sure he didn't expect what happened next. He has never seen what he and fidds were doing in the basement and now, he knew it even less.

He was angry but fuck he didn't mean that! Why does everything have to be so complicated towards Ford? Fuck!

...On the bright side, those 30 years will serve Stanley well to realize everything that his brother held him back from for years, guess who's the one being welcomed with a punch in the face here. 😗

So, you can say the bad ending au got a good ending? Lol 🙆

[nebulo-philiac]

Okay, now that I have an actual account dedicated to this, I'm gonna come out as that one specific fem! stan anon in a lot of people's asks-

[fakeusernamelol]

I image them having a situationship like wallace and todd from the Scott pilgrim anime fucking in the dressing room before their time to film helping eachother to refresh their angry with the other because they hate to be in the same set yet will use any chance to hook up in secret 🙇🙇

i'm rooting for the actors for the 30s Stans to be BITTER exes who keep hooking up against their better judgement. they need to stay in a relationship if only to quarantine themselves from everyone else

OH. WAIT. YES. I LOVE THIS. A+++ IT’S SO FUCKING PEAK.

the real reason their argument hit so hard was bc they were basically just reenacting their average saturday night LMAOOOOO

[dejabooooo]

Ok I’m doing it. Idk if anyone will read this but here’s a compilation of all the stancest crumbs from bill’s book along with a stancest endgame theory:

I say theory because I can’t think of a better word atm. I know this is obviously not the intention of the text. I am merely taking the information we were given and twisting it to fit my sick agenda. It’s what bill would have wanted (Well maybe not quite like this but lol fuck him anyway).

So! Obviously billford was the star of the show here, but as I learned a little bit more about the codes I didn’t just learn what they say. I learned that all the stancest ship fuel is contained within them, and even tho it’s not much in comparison, what we did get is pretty profound!

There was a brand new code alphabet introduced in this book that we’ve never seen before. This cute little bros code that Stan and Ford invented when they were kids. Besides this image, this code is used only three times in the entire book.

The first (and insanely subtle) instance is on this page where ford concludes that Stan is the only person he can turn to after bill drives him to his breaking point:

It’s very small and hard to make out. On the window amid the equations.

It says: “miss you”

Pertaining the contents of this page, my first thought was that this is probably meant to be interpreted as a message directed at Fiddleford. But that wouldn’t really make sense given how it’s presented. This wasn’t written in after the fact. It couldn’t be directed at Fiddleford, they’re standing together arm in arm. It’s a code only Ford and Stan know, and this pic wasn’t taken long after they separated. This message must be about Stanley.

Ford uses the code on the next page, the last lost journal page where he’s talking about reaching out to Stan. It translates to: “have I been too harsh all along?”

This is so gut wrenching to me because he’s never written in this code literally anywhere else in the entire journal. And he says this vulnerable little line about Stanley in this code he probably hasn’t used in years but still remembers, in this code that only Stan would be able to understand besides himself.

The last usage is by Stan. Because the rest of the family is watching him write this, to the rest of them it just looks like he’s censoring his cussing for the kids’ sakes. But to ford, stan’s slyly writing him a little message that only he can see…

And what does it say?

“Love ya bro”

Ford’s arc in this book is realizing he should put his attention and concern in the ones that love him rather than fueling his obsessive hatred toward the one who hurt him. He comes to understand that he’ll be happier if he’s open about his past and rely on his family whose affection isn’t conditional like bill’s was. He moves past his shame, and comes out of the paranoid isolation that bill had encouraged him into.

And of course he receives this comfort from his whole family. But I think it’s very interesting how bill is framed as this toxic ex, Fiddleford is framed as the one he should have put his trust in during that pivotal time in 80s where ford ultimately blew his chance, and then there’s Stan.

Stan is hardly brought up at all but his presence lingers in more than few of Ford’s vulnerable journal entries. Stan is the one who put Bill in his place. Stan is the one who made Ford realize where his priorities should be. Stan is the one who’s accepted him all along and is the one remaining by his side in the end.

Bill even blames Stan for stealing ford from him like a jealous ex who can’t stand the fact that ford has moved on with someone else. (This is directed at the reader but it mirrors his frustration with the stans when they worked together to defeat him)

In conclusion: incest somehow ended up being the healthiest partnership option all along. Who knew?

BONUS CODE THAT CAN BE MISCONSTRUED IN A MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE WAY:

At the bottom of the first lost journal page where he’s talking about his loneliness and yearning for human connection, he mentions Stan in a code again. After embarrassing himself in front of the waitress he says: “Stanley could have made her laugh” 💔

[spaceumbredoggos]

REBLOG IF YOU SHIP THE ENTIRE (SANS FOR STANCEST BC THATS GROSS) 80’s GRAVITY FALLS POLYCULE!!!

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

Here’s a stancest idea:

The Grunkles do tell their closest loved ones about them-after everything they’ve been through together with them, Stan and Ford (especially Stan) feel so guilty about keeping another huge secret from them. Soos definitely already has it written in his fanfiction that they’re in love, Wendy has been hearing about this fanfiction for a year now and honestly is past the point of caring, Fiddleford knew already (he put it all together back in the 80s when he learned just who the “Stanley” he heard ford masturbate to was), idk if Melody even realized they were brothers. The twins were the hardest to tell, because neither Stan nor Ford wanted them to be disgusted or hate them. But Mabel is number 1 fujoshi over here so she’s squealing and helping Soos write his fanfiction. Dipper takes some time to come around to the idea, but he rationalizes that it was, technically, 40 years of separation between them, and they can’t have a genetically mutated incest baby (Not with that attitude they can’t…), so it’s probably fine, right?

And they get married at the shack with all of them (and some of the town who never put two and two together about them or just don’t care) at the Shack

this is SO FUN HSBFYEBDUDBE shout out to dipper for that ford level rationalization at the end hed be so fucking proud and also is soo fucking close to how i think dipper would react to stancest. i genuinely dont think dipper would care AS LONG AS a) they keep it secret from society at large, which stan agrees with him with and ford feels betrayed by, because dipper how COULD you

and b) there are NO incest babies possible. hes like well my two grunkles are together? its a lot weird at least they cant have kids so it wont be that bad (and have a god damn stroke when UH OH! TURNS OUT THERE ARE INCEST BABIES, MULTIPLE EVEN)

melody not knowing theyre brothers and assuming they were husbands the whole time is sooo good too, like she's like wait youre getting married again?? but soos calls you both mr pines and told me about your gay vacations (his scarily accurate to life fanfics) wdym youre not married YET

[caryn-psychic-pines]

yeah, I knew you were gonna do that.

is- is this thing actually on- yeah-?? Okay

Names Caryn! Caryn Pines. Thought I might throw one of these togetha, you know!

I'm just a bored old gal, just TRY shooting your shot! I bet ya wont! Especially since the profile picture is a lie, HA

. Also I uh- got 3 lil boys. . Haven't seen one of em in a while and uh- .. well the otha ain't around anymore.

Fun facts:

💎❓ roughly 80 years old! Still kicking though

💎❓ uses a cane. Technically should use a wheelchair, but she insists she doesn't need it. A cane does her just fine.

💎❓ Filbrick passed roughly 10 years prior (LETS GOOO)

💎❓ kleptomaniac. Need i say more.

💎❓ SHERMIE is her eldest. She has met the twins, and knew they were staying with Stan"Ford" quote on quote

Wip, will be added to.

🐦‍⬛💊 howdyyyyy it's Finn again. I... I can't resist the pull of the post canon blogs

I'm sure you know the drill, some rules!

-no NSFW! Flirting and innuendos is fine though (funny, even!)

-no hate speech. Like cmon.

-be nice to mods. This includes me, and any other mods I interact with!

-twinscest, billdip, stancest, or any cest really PLEASE buzz off! Live your life just live it away from me.

[weirdoldstans]

I actually had an idea for awhile rolling around the old empty stancest skull.

It would have to be a modern AU cause I don't think they had this kinda thing in the actual 80s, but like the idea is Ford has been wanting to try and be someone's baby, he's got gifted kid, burnt out adult syndrome and really, really misses how his brother would protect and low key coddle him.

So he signs himself up under a moniker on a ADBL or CG/L website and immediately just connect with this one guy. From how he sounds, he's just perfect. Has always been a protector and caregiver, is a bit of a bad boy himself but knows how to put brats back in their place (cause there's no way Ford isn't a major brat) and oh he says he got long brown hair, smokes and loves little nerds like Ford.

Ofc you know where it's going. They agreed to meet up and it's Stanley, oh God, oh no, I've admitted to being a wittle baby to my little twin brother and now he's gonna think I'm a freak, I'm still so frustrated about how things went down and fuck now I'm crying and I can feel myself getting wet!!!!

And Stanley is like....I was soooo hoping it was you, and oh geez, you are just a wittle baby come on sweetheart, let's go back to your place and take care of your needy fussy butt.

Thoughts?

OHHH NICE

we actually could do canon era if we wanted- i can’t remember details right now but i know there were magazines for similar purposes- idk how likely an abdl specific one would’ve been but if we have hunky drifters magazine i think we can do what we want lmao

AT ANY RATE, yesss, ford finding the perfect daddy and it’s STANLEY, he’s so embarrassed and upset but stan just goes right into caregiver mode- there’ll be time to talk later, right now he’s got a baby in need of comfort!

i just know tumblr app is gonna crash on me at any moment so i will cut off here for now but YES, very good stuff, anon

[sixerstanley]

Updating this to recommend two works in progress (but they have been updating VERY recently) because they slap so fucking hard

Forwards, Beckon, Rebound - by Frondere (E)

In an au where Time Travelers Pig happens after the events in season 1 vs towards the beginning, Dipper and Mabel get stuck in the past with Ford.

It's such an interesting au and I LOVE how everything is unfolding. I also love the formatting of showing us bits of Stan and Ford's past and then showing us what's happening in the 80s where dipper and Mabel are. Very well written, ough. Mind the tags on this btw just in case!

Learning Commons - by Frondere (E)

A college au where Stan also ends up going to Backupsmore and has Ford as his tutor. I'm describing it simply here bc I don't want to spoil it, but GOD. this fic. It's so cute, it's so heartbreaking, it's so GOOD. I can't wait for more updates, the author is just killing it. Mind the tags on this as well! (Although, we haven't reached any parts of the story where they're applicable yet? At least some. And I'm 99% certain the "noncon" tag is NOT for Stancest, but again, we haven't gotten to that in the updates)

Anyways yes, both of these I highly recommend

hey. you got any good stancest fic recs? 👀 i trust your opinion over any other stancest blog rn

!!!!!!

Omg, that is so so sweet????? I'm not sure what I did to earn that trust, but thank you!!!

Okay, here are some of my favs, but I'm still making my way through the tag!!

What We Used To Be - By fractured_hourglass (M)

Here's one of the fics I first read when I got into stancest, it broke into my home and tore my heart apart with its angst but it was so GOOD???? SO fucking good, great angst, spectacular writing and characterization. It takes place between stanchurian candidate and last mabelcorn, so don't expect a happy ending in the first part, BUT it's insanely good. The summary is that Stan and Ford are trying to learn to live together again, but they keep fighting, and implications that they were something more...makes everything worse. And when Jimmy Snakes, an old fling of Stan's is back in town, Ford gets more and more irritable until shit hits the fan. There is also a part 2 now that wraps everything up nicely!

Any Way You Want It - By Pandame (E)

An untraditional A/B/O fic that is deliciously hot. Ford comes out of the portal...different.

Miss Missing You - By theywerefireworks (E)

A fic post weirdmageddon where Ford tries to make Stan remember their shared memories together--even if they aren't all that pretty.

Oral Communication - by fishingboatblues (E)

Stan starts leaving notes in code, leaving Ford to decipher them.

Sweet Dreams and Glacier's Rock - by Frondere (E)

The twins take a trip, and there's only one bed 👀

everything you feel is good - by businessboyjared (E)

A delightful pwp where Ford walks in on Stan watching porn. What happens next will shock you.

TV Remotes and Ice-Cream - by wubdub_redux (G)

A really sweet fluffy fic about Stan being awkward about his feelings, but luckily Ford is really dense.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least, a fic I'm still reading right now and it's in progress but is SO good:

many dreams come true, and some have silver linings - by GoodbyeBabylon (E)

This fic is just. Chefs kiss. It's so well done. It's the pining Stancest fic I have yearned for, where they are OLD and PINING and STILL have trouble communicating. It's so so good guys. Highly recommend.

And there you have it!! There are probably some I'm forgetting, and like I said I'm still going through the tag, but please enjoy! :D

[reverie-st4rz]

I CAN'T DECIDE IF I SHOULD DRAW DIPFORD, STANCEST, OR TCEST 😭😭😭

[fakeusernamelol]

Shermie: Ma, what happened to father..?

Stan: Eh, you know him, he's off on business - now, do ya still wanna cut your hair short, munchkin?

Shermie: Father's letting me?! :D

Stan: Eh, nevermind him, it's your hair, not his...

Shermie: Okay!!! :D

OMFG THIS ONE IS BEAUTIFUL INTERACTIONS YESSS 🤩🤩🤩💖💖💖💖 i will make a draw of this but i already owe one and i have a lot so say about this particularly so sorry but im about to yap a lot....🙇🙇 (Tw: Transphobia, Mysoginy and abuse you know 🤷)

Shermie doesn't know it but in this bad ending he's lucky af lol. I mean, Ford's not the best dad lol, he's mediocre at best, always busy with his research so prefers to leave the job to take care of the kids to Stan, not even when they were babies ford helped Stanley with them (Fiddleford did way much than him lol) not even when they get bigger Ford try to be more closer to them, Shermie and Mariana didn't really know much about Ford, The father-kid moments they have had have been so few that they do not remember them well other than eating together or reading a book with him. They only saw him in the mornings having breakfast, sometimes coming out of his basement walking around the shack or going outside to the woods and coming out at night right before stanley quickly sent them to their room and put a small music box to put them to sleep and for absolutely no other reason 😉

The only thing they DID know about Ford was that he was a strict man, for some reason didn't like it to be called Pa (He would get very annoyed if any of them called him that...) so they were only allowed to call him father or at best Dad, and Dad was the one who decided everything. If they wanted that cool cereal with marshmallows they will have to ask their father permission and if he didn't allowed then there was nothing to do, no matter if ma allowed it. A new toy, new clothes, a new haircut It was always answered with « Ask your father first. »

Shermie always wanted a haircut, he was just 10 so he didn't really know yet what he actually was but he did know that he didn't like being so girly unlike his twin (bows look better on his neck, not on his head!) but no matter what he did ford always said no. He tried helping with cleaning, doing all his homework, getting good grades, organizing his room but anyway ford said no! Sometimes he insisted more than necessary, making Ford scream at him and ending up crying on his Ma's lap.

That was one of the few things that did pissed off Stanley, He could put up with Ford's abuse because he was already used to holding back on things because he told him to but just seeing how his little kid cried for the same simple thing he has been wishing made him sick

Now that ford was gone, sure he needed to get him back (he was still very emotionally dependent on him because you know they are the fucked up brothers 😗) but while he wasn't here there was no one to told them what to do, he finally could do what he wanted and have a voice for their kids.

Shermie's going to be loved for sure, Stanley's will make sure he Will never have to get through the things he has gone, when shermie's a teenager they could get through their transition together in real father-son quality time 🤭🤭

Their kids are happier but stanley suffers even more in this au lol you win something you lost something 😗

[hey-malarkey]

Just for One Taste of “Us”

Companion AU:

Long story short, an alt-universe Stan also fell into the portal as an alt-universe Ford, and they both at staggered arrival times get trapped in a gladiator combat arena. Stan freaks out upon seeing Ford and hides his identity under a helmet, but still looks out for Ford. Ford doesn’t know it’s Stan, and the rest of the gladiators just don’t know why the loudmouth human (who Stan convinced the human species are all called Stans) suddenly went mute and started wearing a helmet.

That’s uh, about as much as you need to understand the gist of this au. Aliens all living in one gladiator combat arena together and stan and ford somehow end up in the middle of it. Except they go by Helmet and Ford. Also that Ford in this is like over the moon into his “Companion” and Stan is just “oh shit o h n o” most of the time about that but still too intimidated at this point to give the ruse up

warnings: dubcon handjob (b/w an oc and ford), dubcon blowjob, rough handling, restraints, a swift kick in the balls, and a brief mention (not graphic) of two dicks being taken, some possessiveness and jealousy on Ford’s part, and hidden identity, oh- incest duh, some mutual pining, um lmk if i missed something

word count: 3,178

Helmet was so sick of how possessive and weird Ford was being. It was so fucking dumb! Why break a good thing going, huh? Why does Ford always want more, more, more? Couldn’t he just be happy Helmet had his back? That he wasn’t left out to the wolves of the arena every god dam fight?

No. He couldn’t. For the umpteenth time Ford makes a move on him and Helmet has to rebuff him. Fuck was it hard sometimes, though. Sometimes he wanted Ford back. Ford made himself pretty irresistible. Even in the meager conditions of their gladiator accommodations.

But today really took the cake of bullshit. Ford had been raving and nitpicking on Power Couple for weeks, now. And while he’d been busy challenging Meckonar to a chugging contest, helmet and all, Ford had been getting worked up about Power Couple again. As soon as Helmet had come over, face lit up (not that Ford could see) but body language backing it up, showing off his winnings, Ford had blown up at him about taking all those sexual partners and never letting Ford in “as close” as all those other guys.

And Helmet was. He was pretty fucking shocked. He knew Ford wanted him sexually, but he thought that was just frustration that Ford refused to share with another until he was comfortable. He thought Ford would find release in another gladiator someday, maybe Splash Zone, maybe take up Lizard Bro’s offers. He thought he and Ford were solid in their partnership, in looking out for one another and keeping each other safe.

But Ford threw all that in his face, today. Called Helmet out for being a galactic slut, when he had a “perfectly good” person in the next bunk over to sleep with. To be actual partners with.

And Power Couple shot him a few concerned looks, and walked off, talking. He liked them. And Ford made him look like shit in front of them, and the rest of the quadrant, apparently.

Helmet dragged Ford out by the arm, Ford hurling accusations the whole way, whining and just generally being a piss-poor baby.

He managed to write out to Ford, despite how mad he was “Do you really WANT to be like them?”

And Ford immediately got red in the face, shouting anew. Complaining about how Helmet keeps putting him off, how he seems to ignore Ford’s attempts to get “closer”, how he wants someone who wants him back, goddamnit!

Well. Fuck. If that’s how he wanted to play it.

Helmet gestured between the two of them, asking the question “you want me? You and me, you want this?”

Ford got the gist and nodded, a yes about to be shouted on the tip of his tongue, no doubt to be followed by a few insults to Helmet’s intelligence, as Ford is wont to do when he’s that mad.

Helmet shrugged, then shucked off his pants. That caught Ford by enough surprise that he shut up for a second. Helmet stepped out of his pants and took a step closer to Ford, butt naked, dick hanging low between his legs.

He pulled Ford by the lapels of his stupid space jacket and banged his head to Ford’s hard enough for the CLANG to reverberate around the room. Ford cussed, momentarily stunned. Helmet pulled his jacket down half off Ford’s shoulders, circling behind him to pull the arms crossed behind him, tying off the jacket sleeves. Ford was pinned.

He circled back to the front and forced Ford on the ground, knees hitting hard enough to send dust flying up. Helmet looked down into Ford’s eyes, knowing Ford could barely make out the glint in his own. Again he gestured, meaning “You want this? Is this what you wanted?” and Ford is still a bit too dazed to answer.

Helmet wrenches Ford’s jaw open with his hands, picks up his dick, and stuffs it down Ford’s throat. It’s not gentle or easy, and Ford gags, trying to bite down instinctively against the intrusion.

Helmet makes a clicking sound with his tongue and tightens a grip on Ford’s chin, keeping it pulled down. Can’t bite if you can’t lift your bottom jaw.

He lets himself sit in the warm heat of Ford’s mouth for a few moments, enjoying it despite himself. He shallowly thrusts, feeling his head hit the back of Ford’s throat. Ford is much more together in the moment, now, having shaken off the unexpected head thump. He gags on a question, and the vibrations around Helmet’s dick help perk him up, just slightly.

He pulls out so the head is just lightly resting on Ford’s lips, watching a small trail of drool dribble out of the corner of Ford’s mouth.

He wonders how much Ford actually wants this versus how much Ford will hate him after this.

But then he lets the moment pass and he is shoving back down into Ford’s throat, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of it, and letting himself get hard.

It gets easier when Ford sucks the first time. Maybe trying to preserve some dignity by not letting drool run down his face. Or maybe because he’s into it. Helmet doesn’t ask him. Just rewards Ford with a pat on the head, scritching the hair behind Ford’s right ear with his free left hand. He settles his grip in Ford’s hair after that, and feels Ford’s body start rocking in tandem with how Helmet is thrusting.

God, what a fucking slut. And Ford called him the whore? Because he sleeps around with others that are looking for the same thing he is—nothing serious, just relief. What’s Ford in this for?

He’s in it because Helmet wanted to fucking teach him a lesson. But he’s enjoying himself too much to learn it. What a fucking backfire.

Helmet pushes one heavy boot closer to Ford’s crotch, digging the toe against him and feeling through all the fabric and material Ford’s hardness.

Helmet probably didn’t even need to be holding his chin, anymore, if this was how he was going to react. Shit.

He lets go of Ford’s chin and Ford is bobbing and sucking all on his own, just as he thought. He does such a good job that Helmet is fast approaching release, and he doesn’t try to hold back when Ford takes him deep into his throat, sucking with all his dam might.

Helmet cums down his throat, shooting a hot mess that Ford didn’t seem to be expecting.

Maybe he thought Helmet would give warning. Nope. But despite the surprised gag, Ford still tries to suck it all up. By the time Helmet pulls out, he lets his spent cock rub over Ford’s lips, leaving a bit of cum he missed fall across Ford’s face. He pushes Ford back a little, nearly unbalancing, checking the state of his arousal. Still hard in his jeans. Probably close to busting a nut, though, if the way Ford was swiveling his hips against the air was any indication.

Helmet drags Ford up by his sweater, so he’s standing again. Ford tries stepping closer, looking for relief, words finally starting to form again through husky vocals. Helmet keeps them an arms-length apart, however. And then he kicks straight up, hard, against Ford’s nuts. His shin hits his crotch, and he immediately sees tears gather and his broken voice cry out.

He drops to his knees again, and Helmet lets him as he puts his own pants back on. He hoists Ford up again and drags him down to Armadillo Doctor’s tent. He leaves Ford outside while he goes in, with no haggling for once offering a quarter of his winnings from the chugging contest.

He takes off his helmet and looks the doctor in the eye.

“See what you can do about his bruised dick. I already tried fixing his ego, but it might be a lost cause. Thanks, doc.”

He puts his helmet back on after the doctor agrees, giving him one of those beady-eyed looks that can make a grown Mrrekian cry. Ford will be in good hands.

Helmet comes back out, patting Ford on the face, pushing him through the tent flap of Armadillo Doctor’s office.

As he’s walking away he hears the scratch of claws on almost-concrete and looks up to see Lizard Bro taking pace beside him.

“What was that about, Boyo? Your friend did not look too well.”

“He’s getting taken care of. Wanna go catch the rest of the flight match? I had bets down on the Oeripian and the Sclinesdale.”

Lizard Bro agrees and they go up to the match. They laugh and make obnoxious jokes and

Helmet collects his winnings when the Oeripian fuckin’ owns. But it’s still not as good as spending an afternoon with Ford. He hopes Ford gets his head out of his ass, soon. He’s gonna miss him if Ford still decides he wants to get together the way Power Couple did.

He’s been here longer than Ford has. He knew them each before they became Power Couple.

They even got transferred to a different wing because they became such crowd favorites they got protected status in the barracks by the Overseers. But before they were Power Couple, they were nothing. Helmet wants to be something to Ford whether they have sex or not. Preferably not. Especially not until Ford knows who he’s wanting to fuck. And hopefully the day of admitting who he is never comes. So never.

But he can’t deny Ford forever. Hopefully this at least will ward Ford off from approaching him like that in the future. He follows Lizard Bro back to his quarters that night and takes two dicks like a champ. But when he falls asleep post-fuck, it still means nothing and he misses Ford.

In the tent Ford’s tears have cleared, but his hands are still tied behind his back. He’s sure if he wiggled sufficiently, he could break free. But Armadillo Doctor got testy if his patients were too active, so he let his position stay while AD bustled about his tent, muttering under his breath.

He let his mind drift back a few short minutes ago. He didn’t think he’d be able to evoke such a reaction from Helmet. And sweet Moses, was it good, despite how unexpected it was. All up until that kick that was still sending sporadic pain signals to his brain. 

He hadn’t even gotten off, yet, before Helmet kicked. And he’d been so close. Just thinking about it is enough to make his body want to get hard, but that sends a stronger pulse of pain through him, and he groans softly.

“What? What? Can you not wait two minutes? Impatient Stan!”

Ford rolls his eyes. For some reasons all the aliens referred to him as Stan instead of Stanford. It was annoying, as if they thought that was his surname or species. They did it to Helmet too, sometimes. Helmet was always as mute on the matter as he was about everything. Keeping his secrets and thoughts all to himself, that evasive bastard.

Armadillo Doctor approaches him again, holding a bag with some unidentifiable cream.

“You will be fixed,” he says abruptly. It seems to be the only way he talks, through the translator at least.

AD unbuttons Ford’s pants and drags them down unceremoniously. He tilts his head back and suppresses a sigh. It was a necessary evil of living in the arena. Sometimes an armadillo doctor was going to have to touch your dick. His arms are uncomfortably folded behind him, making his hips slightly propped up on his wrists, so he doesn’t have to move too much to see what AD is doing.

The small hands are cold and covered in cream and slowly working the substance into Ford. Carefully, as if he knew Ford wanted to at least keep that organ in some level of usable condition.

Whatever he was doing, it felt amazing with just an edge of pain still pulsing. And worse, he was getting hard. Even with the pain. Maybe because of it. (He can’t deny that some of the appeal of Helmet pushing him down had been just the raw power and discomfort brought on by the suddenness.)

“You made bad choice, Stan.”

“It’s not my fault!” he defended himself indignantly.

Armadillo Doctor moved one hand down and squeezed Ford’s balls. Ford sucked in a breath and held it a moment, waiting for the pressure to ease.

“It is.” And he releases, rubbing the cream in over his sac. Ford breathes out and relaxes back, eyes still on Armadillo Doctor’s motions further down. It isn’t as good as if Helmet had done it, but he can’t remember the last time he accepted a hand that wasn’t his at it. It was good to get it elsewhere, even if it’s from the alien doctor.

After he breathes out Ford has a moment to think over what AD is saying. And he starts feeling the anger burn beneath his skin again. 

“What was my fault, exactly? That I give so much to Helmet, and he refuses to give me anything in return? He talks to everyone in the arena but me. He goes off to get fucked by everyone in the arena but me! Does he not trust me?”

Armadillo Doctor dips a finger in the cream and returns to stroking Ford’s shaft. He does it with less healing purpose and more with a bored look, if Ford was reading him right.

“Stan Ford, you are a--- what is word? You dick!” He says with a burst of emotion, squeezing slightly on the upstroke and twisting his hand off in a way that makes Ford gasp. It’s weird being insulted while getting off, but he isn’t in the position to argue.

“You dick,” AD continues, returning to the task at hand. “Your friend is not enough? Your Stan Helmet pays me for you. Your Stan Helmet wins fight for you. Your Stan Helmet chose you.”

Ford shakes his head, not ready to admit defeat. “Okay, yes, he does those things, but he still doesn’t trust me! Everyone else has seen him with his helmet off. And for the last time, we’re called humans, not Stans.”

“Stan Ford. You dick.” Armadillo Doctor almost smiles. Great. He learned a new word and enjoys using it against him, now. “You know the secrets? Stan Helmet was alone before you. Now he smiles.”

“But I can’t see that! It’s ludicrous--I don’t care what he’s hiding, disfigurement, or birthmark, or ugly, I just want to know him. And he won’t let me.” 

“All Stans look the same,” Armadillo Doctor said dismissively. Ford huffed out an annoyed sigh, then groaned again as Armadillo Doctor squeezed, picking up speed again. He was getting close. And the cream had worked wonders already, making him feel good as new, down there.

“Look, you don’t get it. He--ahhh!” Ford cut himself off in a low yell when the force of his orgasm built and erupted suddenly, right at the end. Armadillo Doctor sighs and tears off an edge of Ford’s jacket to wipe up his hands and Ford with. He tucks the cloth he tore under a stack of metal bits.

Ford recovers fairly quick after he cums, but he’s still hit with that desire to take a nap, to drift off in his uncomfortable position and curl up next to--

He is brought back to the moment abruptly. Armadillo Doctor grips his chin tight and stares him in the eye, leaning in too close.

“Six-Fingers. Helmet threatens the worst fighters to not call you that. Helmet pays your debts. Helmet protects only you. Helmet kick you now as warning shot. I do not care. But. Helmet deserves better than you, Six-Fingers.”

The claws dug into Ford’s chin tighter for one more moment before letting go, patting his forehead lightly, wiping the sweat off of Ford’s brow.

Armadillo Doctor props him up and cuts the jacket apart.

“Dick leave.”

Ford gathers his jacket to repair later and stands without another word, zipping himself back up and leaving without another word to Armadillo Doctor. Overstaying your welcome in the medicine tent was dangerous.

He grumbled to himself the whole way back, thinking over what Armadillo Doctor said. How ridiculous he was being. Did Helmet pay for him to get ‘taken care of’ by the Doctor, or was that just a perk?

He finds their bunks and it’s empty. Helmet is nowhere to be seen. There’s a slight impression on the floor from where he’d dropped suddenly, twice, earlier. He kicks some dirt over it.

Ford sits heavily on the lower bunk, rubbing a hand over his crotch, checking over the area as he pointedly does not stare at the patch of ground that gave him slight bruises on each knee. He lays back and thinks about everything that was said. He pointedly looks away from the collection of former weapons, scrap metal, and defensive padding he’s seen his Companion trade on his behalf numerous times.

He grunts and pulls out his latest journal from its hiding spot, perusing the pages mindlessly, not having anything to write but wanting something to distract him from this mood he’s in. 

He sees a few of the notes his Companion has left for him in the margins, one of the few ways they’ve communicated clearly. Ford flips past them quickly, but one catches his eye. 

It was a drawing of a six-fingered thumbs up, a little wobbly, and a note of encouragement beside it. His companion had made that entry after Ford nearly lost his match a few weeks ago. Ford swallowed and turned the page, wanting a new distraction.

Between his notes on coded escape plans and hopes for defeating Bill were notes about his friend. Things he’d forgotten he’d committed to these few scrap pages bound together by odds and ends. Some of the paper he’d written on procured by his Companion, in fact, after Ford expressed a desire to write things down to help him plan.

Ford stowed the journal, suddenly feeling a little queasy. God, the doctor was right. He was a dick. Despite the ups and downs of their relationship, Helmet has never pretended like he was leading Ford on. He’d made a boundary clear, and Ford had allowed his frustrations to wreck that line.

He sat up from the bed, pacing. He needed to make this right. He would let his Companion have his space tonight, and go find him in the morning. Ford can’t help the sour twang of jealousy when he assumes that Helmet shacked up with Lizard Bro tonight, but he swallows it down. 

He turns into bed later that night alone, not even with the steady sounds of his friend’s snores to comfort him, and he misses what he’d almost thrown away. Hopefully his Companion will forgive him one more time, in the morning.

[hellorebecca]

Back From the War

Some 80s era Stancest I wrote a while back. Inspired by some of @nekoaimy‘s posts on the subject.

*****************************************

"So, um, you okay?" Stan asked, his hands unsteady.

Ford nodded, and sipped from his mug of coffee. "I feel better, now."

"Okay," said Stan. He breathed out a sigh, ran a hand through his hair. "Okay."

It was almost surreal, remembering the events of the past hour: him and Stanley fighting over the journal in the portal room, him branding his brother's shoulder (and oh, was that going to leave a mark),  the shove, the panic that filled him as he floated above the room--

Then, the rope, the relief, as he was slowly pulled back to earth by his brother's strong arms.

Stanley cleared his throat, snapping Ford out of his reverie. "So, what's up?" he asked, a look of concern on his face. "You kinda spaced out for a second there."

Ford shook his head. "Just thinking over the day's events," he said softly. Then: "How's your shoulder?"

Stan looked ashamed, as if he had been the one who had burned his own brother. "I mean, it hurts, but... it's fine, really. I mean, I can still use it." He rotated his right arm for emphasis. Ford couldn't help noticing the wince that Stan made at moving it around.

“Let me take a look at that,” he said, setting his mug down and reaching his hand towards his brother’s wound.

Stan hesitated; then, he slowly took off his jacket and shirt, carefully avoiding touching the cloth to the brand. Ford drew in a deep breath as he took in Stanley’s bare back. His muscles were cushioned under a layer of fat, and there were scars scattered across his skin. There was one particularly nasty one, just above his waist, that Ford wished he could ask about, but he just didn’t have the time.

Right. The brand. “How badly does it hurt?” asked Ford, as he carefully inspected the still-blistering scar.

“Honestly, it’s not too bad,” Stan answered. “I mean, I’ve definitely had worse.”

“Hmm.” Ford gingerly touched the tips of his fingers to Stan’s brand; he couldn’t help his heart from sinking when Stan flinched away from that. “Well, first we need to clean it, of course.” He went to the cabinet and got out a rag and the first aid kit. He ran the faucet cold over the rag, and added a little dish soap for good measure. Gently, he washed the burn, taking care not to pop any of the blisters. He then fished out a tube of aloe vera from the first aid kit.

“Pull your hair back for me,” said Ford. “I don’t want this to get messy.”

Stanley did as he was told, and Ford carefully spread the lotion over his brother’s charred skin. As he did so, he thought of long, hot summer nights, when they would rub aloe vera into each others’ sunburned backs. It was a good memory, and Ford felt a pleasant shiver thinking about it. Stan let out a sigh of relief, apparently releasing some of the tension from what had happened that night.

“Good, good,” said Ford, as he checked his handiwork. “Now I just need to cover it with a bandage.”

“You’re not gonna kiss it better?” asked Stan.

“No,” said Ford, suppressing a laugh. “It just wouldn’t be sanitary.”

“Ah,” Stan replied, and if Ford didn’t know any better, he’d almost say Stan sounded… disappointed. “Well, alright.”

Ford took out the gauze and the medical tape from the first aid kit and said, “Um, I can kiss you, though.”

“What?”

“If you want me to,” Ford added. “Not… not on the lips, of course, but I can kiss you. Just—just say where.”

“Um.” Stan craned his neck towards Ford. “Are you serious?”

Ford grew oddly hot. “I mean, ah, touch has been known to lower the body’s stress levels, which can help with, with the healing process—That’s... why I suggested it.”

“Ah,” said Stan, turning his head away from Ford again. “So you’re just being a weirdo.”

Ford swallowed. “Stanley, I...”

Stan waved him off. “It’s fine. Just… bandage me up, man.”

There was no point in disobeying that, so Ford carefully positioned the gauze on Stan’s burn wound, then applied the tape to make it stick. “We’ll need to reapply the bandage every day until the burn fully heals,” he said when he was done.

“‘We,’” Stan repeated. He turned around to face Ford. “Does that mean I’m staying?”

It was strange, how shocking Ford found the question. “I guess so,” he answered, considering his words carefully. “At least, for now. But—Stanley, it’s not… safe, here.”

“Because of the portal.”

Ford nodded. “Not just that, but yes.”

Stan groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “So, when do I need to leave?”

Ford held up a hand. “Stanley...”

“No, no, it’s...” Stan starting pacing around the kitchen, gesturing wildly. “I mean, I know you don’t—well...”

Ford caught Stan by the chin. “Stanley, please, just—listen to me.”

“C’mon, Stanford, it’s fine,” said Stan, who still resisted meeting Ford’s eyes. He sounded like he was going to cry. “If you don’t want me around...”

That definitely wasn’t true, so Ford needed to prove it false. If he was any less sleep-deprived, he might have done something else. As it was, his brother’s chin still in his hands, he laid a kiss upon Stanley’s lips.

Stanley tasted of cheap cigarettes and stale coffee, but Ford didn’t mind, far more interested in the way Stan warmed up to the kiss,  tense at first but soon kissing back, running his hands through Ford’s hair. It was the culmination of everything they had been dancing around for a long, long time.

“Thought you said you weren’t gonna do that,” Stan gasped out, once they broke away.

Ah, right. The offer he made from earlier. “Guess I lied,” Ford panted.

They drew in for another kiss, deeper, more passionate. It left them so breathless and panting that it took a while before either of them spoke again.

“So, why can’t I stay, for real?” asked Stan. “Because I know there’s something there.”

Damn. Stanley knew Ford all too well. “There’s… an entity, that takes control of my mind when I sleep. I don’t want it to harm you,” Ford admitted, as much as he was willing to admit.

“Is that why you’re so strung out?”

Ford nodded. “Mostly, yes.”

Stan grunted and lifted himself about the counter, sitting on the countertop. It would annoy Ford were he not so charmed at the moment. “Okay, so, is there like, a way we can get that—thing out of your head?”

“There is one way I know of.” Ford scrubbed his face and frowned. “But it involves dealing with creatures that I’ve found to be—quite frustrating, in the past.”

Stan looked at Ford expectantly. “Well?” he asked.

“You’re going to laugh,” Ford replied glumly.

“C’mon, just tell me!”

“Unicorns,” Ford answered.

Stan let out a loud guffaw, and for a moment Ford truly hated him. “What, ain’t they really fond of virgins?”

“Actually, no,” said Ford stiffly. “Though the requirements for dealing with them seem just as strict as in legend. And by the way, I’m not a virgin.”

Stan grinned. “Sure you’re n--”

“Would a virgin kiss you as well as I just did?” Ford replied smugly. He took a certain amount of pleasure in the shock on Stan’s face.

“Man, you really have changed,” said Stan. “Gone a long way since your ‘kissing machine’ days.”

Ford groaned. “Please don’t mention the kissing machine, Stanley.” He took the journal off the kitchen table and started flipping through the entries. “Anyway, if you’re really serious about this--”

“Of course I’m serious,” Stan retorted.

“I’ll warn you again, unicorns are not easy to deal with,” said Ford. He found the entry on unicorns in the journal and handed it to Stan. “Their standards for good behavior are very exacting. I doubt you’d be able to live up to them.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Stan grumbled. He seemed upset by Ford’s assertion. He always had carried a chip on his shoulder on being the lesser of the two Pines twins. “I’ll just kill one of them, so what?”

“Stanley...” Ford started.

“What, they need to be alive?”

“No, you’ll just need the hair from their manes,” answered Ford. “But killing a horse—or horse-like creature—can be harder than it looks.”

“Eh.” Stan shrugged. “I mean, I killed a llama once.”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “Lama-with-one-L or llama-with-two-Ls?” he asked.

“Llama as in the weird animal with the long hair,” Stan said with an eyeroll. “Cripes, you’re a nerd.”

“Technically, that could describe both--” Ford got a poke in the ribs. “Oof. But seriously, are you sure you want to do this?”

“I mean, if it’ll keep you safe,” said Stan. He looked down at his bare chest. “Though, uh, I’m gonna need some clothes that haven’t been singed.”

Ford looked Stanley over. He was still naked from the waist up, and though that was fine for an evening of making out, it was less than ideal for a night in the cold and snow.

“Hang on,” said Ford. “There are some sweaters in my room.” He dashed over there as quick as he could, unable to suppress the irrational worry that Stan would be gone by the time he got back. He fished through his drawers and found a bright and cheery Christmas sweater, a gift from Fiddleford when they were still in college. (Ford didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was Jewish and had never celebrated. It was good at its main purpose, at least, which was keeping warm.)

Back in the hallway, he was struck by the sudden realization that this was real, that he had really kissed his brother and his brother kissed him back. It was funny, how repressed they both had been about it, and how open they were now. He supposed it made a certain amount of sense—incest was a Rubicon that neither of them were prepared to cross, even as odd a pair as they had been, but once they set their mind on something, there was no doubt, if it were in any way possible, they would get it.

Once they put their mind on something, there was no doubt they would get it. Ford smiled at the thought, and hurried back to the kitchen. He found Stan sitting on a chair, a far more reasonable position than the counter. “Here,” he said, and handed Stan the gaudy sweater.

“Bit late to be wearing this,” said Stan, looking it over.

Ford shrugged. “If it keeps you warm.” He grabbed his coat from his chair. “Here, wear this, too. Do you still have your gloves and hat?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Stan grumbled. “I’m not gonna freeze to death, Ford.” He grunted as he struggled to put on the sweater.

“Careful,” said Ford. He helped pull the sweater down. “You still need to look out for that shoulder.” He gave his brother a quick peck on the cheek.

“Heh heh.” Ford enjoyed the way Stan blushed. Stan cleared his throat. “Alright, so they live in this glade, right?” Stan said, as he put on the coat. “Shouldn’t take too long. I’ll be back in a jif.”

“Stay safe, Stanley.” Ford squeezed his brother’s hand. “Remember to come home in one piece.”

“I will,” Stan replied softly. He pat Ford on the shoulder, then pulled him into a brief kiss. “Take care of yourself while I’m gone, knucklehead.”

“Okay, okay,” Ford said with a soft laugh. He watched Stanley go out of the house and into the unknown, once again the brave hero of their youth. For the first time in a long while, he felt a deep, sustaining hope, one that would last him the rest of their lives.

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

The Hitachiin Twins vs The Pines Family (aka Why I’m Anti-Pinecest)

For the record, I’m against incest in every way, shape, and form - cousins, step-siblings, twincest, etc. - whether it’s real, fictional, or mythological. But my reasons for being anti-Pinecest go a little further beyond *shudders*, *gags*, and just plain Nope. And to better demonstrate my point, I thought I would compare & contrast the Pines Family with the Hitachiin Twins from the Ouran High School Host Club anime. Because, while I don’t ship the Hitachiin Twins with each other At All, I will acknowledge their bond lends itself towards twincest more than either set of Pines Twins.

See, everyone at the start of Ouran High School Host Club treats the Hitachiin Twins like one entity. Their servants, their classmates, the other members of the Host Club. Even the animators are guilty of this - in the intro, the Hitachiin Twins never get solo shots despite all the other members of the Host Club getting at least one solo scene each. And in the show proper, the Hitachiin Twins are always seen on-screen together, either reciting a script to impress their clients or speaking, moving, even thinking as one. It’s not until Haruhi joins the Host Club and treats the Hitachiin Twins as two people rather than one entity that Hikaru & Kaoru start to explore their individuality - wearing different outfits that become more distinct as the two become more confident in their separate identities, having different opinions of people or activities, even getting a few scenes apart here & there.

It’s hard to say why this is - did outsiders failing to acknowledge the Hitachiin Twins as individuals cause them to reflexively shut out everyone but each other, or did Hikaru & Kaoru’s reluctance to separate or bond with others lead to outsiders reflexively seeing them as two indistinguishable halves of one being?

Whatever the reason, the Hitachiin Twins by the time the anime begins are so perfectly in sync they might as well be one character. With these two, twincest isn’t about two people being in romantic love no matter what society says - it’s more like one consciousness split between two bodies. Like the Topaz Fusion in Steven Universe, or the Heretic & the Wanderer in the new Dark Crystal series.

This is NOT the case with either set of Pines Twins.

The writers of Gravity Falls did a great job establishing all the members of the Pines family as individuals first, someone’s twin second. Dipper and Mabel spend a lot of on-screen time together, but they also get plenty of opportunities to demonstrate their individuality. There are plenty of cutting remarks that either Hikaru or Kaoru could say without sounding out of character, but Dipper getting excited about an 80s themed dance party would be about as weird as Mabel staying up all night reading books about code cracking. Stan was intitally introduced as his own person, not one half of a set of twins. The reveal of Ford recontextualized a lot of idiosyncrocies about Stan’s backstory, but it didn’t change his personality. Ford was a latecomer to the show, but he set himself apart from his brother right at the start.

Both sets of Pines Twins can be unstoppable forces when they work together, but they can also stand on their own two feet. Dipper and Ford aren’t as social as their counterparts, but that doesn’t mean they’ve completely shut themselves off from others like the Hitachiin Twins.

So if Mystery Twincest & Stancest aren’t based on two people acting like one, like the Hitachiin Twins, then where did they come from? Are they based on the simple fact that both sets of Pines Twins love each other? You guys know it IS possible to love someone without feeling any romantic or sexual attraction, right?

I’m not sure what the situation is like in other countries, but here in America there’s this weird, pervasive idea of putting romantic/sexual affection above all other forms of love. Oh, these two people shared a hug? Must be True Love! Wait, they’re related? Ooh, gotta be incest! The Ancient Greeks believed there were at least four different kinds of love, with romantic/passionate love (Eros) being far from the most important.

So, while there is no doubt in my mind both sets of Pines Twins love each other, I would categorize their love as either Philia (virtuous, dispassionate love for friends & family) or Storge (love of family, usually between parent & child but could also qualify for siblings). Sweet, unrelenting, and 1,000,000,000% NOT SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC!!!

[fakeusernamelol]

The kids POV of bad ending au goes insanely hard actually--

As far back as they can remember they've had their Ma and their Father, and they learned pretty early that they go to Ma when they wet the bed or break a plate because Ma never made it seem like a big deal, would crack a joke or two and help clean up the mess and at the end of it Ma would always say 'now, we just keep it from your Father.' even though they never really found out why.

Then they got older, and started noticing that sometimes Ma walked weird or got bruises on her face and she would tell them she tripped and fell - but don't go into their Father's study (even though it was eating up more and more of the house) because he's upset and he needs his alone time.

They got older and Mariana figured out that her Father hit her Ma and her Ma didn't hit back even though that's what Ma said her and Shermie should always do when she taught them how to throw a punch. Shermie didn't believe her, but Shermie wanted to be just like Father when she grew up, down to the short hair and the broad shoulders.

Their Father was always a little silly and fun when it was just him - he acted different around Ma, but the twins were starting to think he didn't really like her. He was never scary before, if his tone shifted and his back straightened until he loomed over them and the shine on his glasses hid his eyes, Ma would always swoop in, tell them they were going on a car ride and keep driving in circles until the sun set which has been happening more and more often but the twins liked the radio so it was okay.

But then their Ma slammed their door loud enough to wake the both of them, dragged their dresser in front of the door and held it there when the banging started. "Come on, [ ], you can't keep a man from seeing his own children!" Their father yelled through the door, but their Ma didn't react, just gestured for the twins to stay quiet while she sat on top of the dresser to give it more weight. Her sleep shirt was ripped, they didn't know why. Their father's voice got more and more demanding until he was calling their Ma a bitch and saying he was going to stab the twins with forks while their Ma watched but their Ma kept them barricaded and told them that it wasn't their father, that it was a demon, not their dad, but they didn't believe it because Ma was a liar with bruises all over her that she said were from falling and listening to their Father talk about how much he hated them for hours was horrific.

Then it stopped, and the twins clung to their Ma even if they were 12 and probably too old for it, and they barely slept that night but in the morning their Ma promised them the demon was gone and their father wouldn't hurt a fly.

But then when they saw him again, and Ma asked if he was alright, their father punched her, confirming what they were just figuring out, confirming that Ma lied and their father was scary and that wasn't a demon at their door it was just him. But then their Ma saw them staring and she fought back, both their yelling echoing through the house while the twins were frozen in place. Then an earthquake hit, and a few minutes later their Ma came back up holding her shoulder with a split lip and said they were going on another drive. Ma got them ice cream and said something came up with their father's work so he would be gone for a while. They couldn't find it in them to miss him, remembering the cruel things he said he would do to them if he got his hands on them the night before.

Of course, when Ford comes back, he doesn't get the most welcome reunion.

I'm sorry you're au is making me eat lightbulbs

The feeling of waking up and seeing an ask this big about this fucking au im now obsessed with makes me genuinely smile, to you anon, thank you for making my morning hella better 🫂💓💓💖💖 please don't eat lightbulbs if you die who am I going to tell my perversions to? 🥺🥺

NOW TO THE THEME (YOU KNOW THE TW: Transphobia, misogyny, abuse, hella implied noncon and bad parenting because Ford's sucks here 🙃)

Ford hated to be compared to his Pa but without noticing he had made the cycle to repeat. Their kids were scared of him and saw him more as a figure of authority and discipline than a parent who they can trust, unlike their Ma, with whom they could feel safe and trust her to confess if they did something naughty without fear of receiving a punishment.

Ford lied to himself saying that he wasn't like his father, he wasn't a bad dad, nor even a bad husband! When [ ] was near he just ignored her unless she said something useful, he only touched her when she deserved it and it wasn't his fault that she seemed to constantly find out for that!

«You know the rules [], Don't keep secrets with the kids anymore, fine? »

« Look at you [], what did you do to yourself? You used to be so beautiful... Now you're fat and messy.»

« You're lucky you had me Darling, No men would love you like this anymore, you would be nothing without me..»

Unlike his father, all punishment to stanley would be done in their room taking care the kids wouldn't notice, (unlike them in their childhood..) he wouldn't put a finger in Stanley if the kids were near and stanley had to put that music box in their room before going to their bedroom to make sure the kids wouldn't hear any cry or moan he could do that night. That makes him way better father that his pa was!

Stanley learned well from his Ma how to lie and he was thankful for that. That sometimes remind him of when his ma told the same lies he said now and feels bad for how he didn't notice it at the time but it was for his sake just like it is for their kids now. That was the life Stanley has found to himself but now the only thing that matters to him is to make sure their kids would never ever go through it. He will teach them how to be strong, how to defend themselves, if someone even dares to put a finger on them « just give them a good left hook to let them know who rules here! » No one, not even Stanford would hurt his kids, that was the only dream he would make sure to become true.

Car rides didn't also help him to make sure the kids wouldn't see the worst of his father but also to let him think for a while, ford rarely let stanley go out the shack more than to go bought things for dinner and the air, even if it was really cold and kinda creepy helped him to relax a bit for what he know what's coming when they're home again. Even sometimes... He thinks about taking the next lane and fleeing that town with them but fuck, he's an idiot who didn't even finish high school because he got pregnant, what kind of life could he give to their kids by himself? He was useless by himself, he needed his other part to work, as much as he hated, he needed ford.

Or maybe... he don't?

Ford was gone now, he doesn't know where he is or if he's even alive in some distant galaxy but he needed to take charge now. He misses him, sure, but he was feeling a calm that he hadn't felt since when they lived with Fiddleford back in college.

No more punches, no more rules, no more hurt, no more asking your father for permission, no more hearing that stupid name he always hated, for once in his life he was Stanley, and he was feeling good about that. Stanley didn't wanted his kids to see how their parents fight but he at least needed to make sure they know that if someone punches them they should fight back (that fear on Ford's eyes was..kinda relieving for him.) and when times passes he remembers that moment prouder than regretful, he deserved it.

I find it kinda funny that unlike the good ending au (or lets call it better the original because it's also kinda shitty for all like to be called a good ending lol) the emotions are well different here

In the original au i think the reunion would be way more emotional, sure the last moment they share was a fight but ford in his time between dimensions couldn't help thinking of his brother and their kids, he was guilty of all the time he waste and also sure was annoyed that stanley opened the portal again but just right after that punch he would give him a big sorry kiss for letting him get kicked out and lost the children he was supposed to take care of (he didn't know that their grandkids where watching lol)

That's cute, but in this bad ending oh fuck stan was ANNOYED, he wanted his brother back, but because he has been all this years starving to give him a big punch in the face for all the things he did to him. He wasn't scared anymore, he wasn't [] anymore, he was Stanley (or well, stanford lol) Pines and the real Stanford could never quit that of him ever again.

Ironically i think Stanford going through so much dimensions would make him open his mind and notice that the desires his sister had weren't that crazy like he thought, but that doesn't matter now because he already fucked up and stanley wouldn't forgive him this easy anymore.

Any chances ford had to not died being remembered like a piece of shit was left with their grandchilds, and if we take the dipper trans hc and put it here, he must be having a lot of struggling lol, but he must be sure how to manage it if he didn't want stan to beat his ass again 🤭🤭