#8.27.19

[alltheselights]

@ louis’ team

getting papped with his no name fake girlfriend for the 4000th time isn’t promo

[missinvisibleandco]

"The Monarch"

I never realized how intricate butterflies are.(8.27.19)

[edo-vivendum]

I left my journal at home, and I am feeling very anxious about not being able to journal. Aghhh

[avi-arts]

Day 964: 

8.27.19 

baby. baby boy

[llylaa]

this post is emo as fuck don’t read it

sleeping in the treehouse because mom doesn’t want to sleep next to dad tonight because dad’s drinking and everything mom says makes him upset and mom seemed so exhausted when she got home and it breaks my heart sometimes to see that she isn’t fully happy, isn’t fully who she wants to be. anyway, i let her have my bed and now i’m here in the trees (king of the trees - treemeister) and i really wish i had some pot to smoke. i want to get really fucking high so that i can’t keep my eyes open, and so i don’t have to keep questioning whether i actually want to hurt myself or just want a reason for people to be concerned about me. don’t be, though. i’m not going to do anything. i know mostly i’ve been feeling crappy because i’m not doing all the things i dream of doing, and i’m getting drunk instead of making art and hiking and all the rest. i know how i’m feeling is more in my control than i want to admit. i am the reason this is happening to me. i want to blame everyone else, want to believe that they aren’t good enough, don’t care enough about me to make me feel better. then there are the ones who want more, and i know that hearts are breaking. it is hard when your best friend falls in love with you if you don’t feel the same way. when i feel like dying all i want to do is call him but it is unfair to ask him to fix my hurt when i am his hurt. and then i feel alone. i feel like i’m floating. i don’t have anything to hold on to right now.

[opheliarot]

Oddities (2)

My heart is an oddities shop: I take from other people in small handfuls and store pieces of them inside myself, on consignment in carmine caverns. I collect almost-lovers and preserve fragments of their hearts in glass jars, tie them together with ribbons and strings of pearls to wear like medals, artifacts of half-conquest, leave them on shelves to collect dust and float in the formaldehyde of bad memories. The walls of my atria are lined with his poems, her songs, their touches--

and none of it has ever been quite right, all oddly misshapen, abnormal. My heart is an oddities shop. Her music is too Saint-Saëns, Danse macabre, all xylophone and rattling bones, the sound of our knees knocking together in the dark, clumsy and frightened; his words are too honeyed and soft, cloying on my tongue, fruit on the razor’s edge of ripe and rot; and when they touch me, it is always fumbling and selfish, when my hands take theirs take back threefold. I am pieces of a skeleton, malformed, in the wake of them.

I carry these things and they turn my body into a shadowbox. There’s a glass casing over his hand-print on my hip, a moth mounted in the cavity of my mouth where she kissed me, pins in the palms of my hands keeping me on display. There is a string tied loose around my left finger where a price tag was once attached. My heart is an oddities shop.

[northhall]

aspie

[ rx Ace of Wands, rx Five of Swords, rx Five of Rings ]

She asked if the guy she’s been speaking to on and off for almost 4 years will ever open up and share how he feels about her. I asked if there was anything she could do to help bring that about or if it was likey that he would open up. 

He may not be sure how to go about telling you. He wants to, but he can’t commit to the ‘how.’ He may be waiting for the “right” way and/or time. He also needs to focus on what is is he wants, in life and in your relationship. It may benefit you both to be more explicit in what you want as what you want may not be the same things he thinks of. 

You both want to move forward after these last 4 rocky years. Separately and together you’ve both experienced hurt. There was conflict, disagreements, and you both have issues and old wounds that you’ll need to deal with and heal from. But you both want to, so this is positive. And it may be helpful if you guys work on this together. It’ll be bonding and informative. 

He may have been or is too fixated on money and physical/tangible things and he will come to learn this soon. After he does, he should be able to do the work for inner wealth and make more connections with the people around him who love and care for him. Family and friends were put on the back burner while he focused on prosperity and wealth because he may feel unworthy if he isn’t wealthy. 

[healingfluff]

[beingallelite]

x

[desertpups]

Forum Karlín - Prague - 8.27.19

📷vojtamervart

[missinvisibleandco]

"Learning To Draw: Perspective"

(8.27.19)

[transparensie]

guardian of the west wind

8.27.19

[fruitxbat]

8.27.19

via The Nerve

[vinyllove]

Future Hearts by All Time Low

Light blue colored vinyl

8.27.19

[athletemeetstherealworld]

8.27.19

Solid run this morning! And my last run as a 26 year old.....how crazy is that????

[retiredthotporcello]

xander | 8.27.19