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sugar-bunii · 4 years ago

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Adrenaline rush

You and Octane have been going steady for about 4 months now, everything has been perfect so far but something was missing. You’ve always wanted to be sexually intimate with him but he hasn’t been picking up on any of your hints.

First it was asking to shower together but he was too worried about taking off his prosthetics, next it was when you asked him if he wanted to try something new. He got exited but started going on about the new sushi bar that opened. Another time was just you walking into the room in a towel after showering, he quickly covered his eyes and left so you could get dressed.

As clueless as he was you decided to ask him directly once he got home from the arena. 9:47 rolled around and he opened the door excitedly, “Hey, you’re home early what’s up?” You ask him as he settled down next to you on the couch. “We got a flawless victory and the announcer said we deserved to go home early and take a break!” He wrapped his arm over your shoulder and you put your head on his arm. You thought if you were going to ask it might as well be now.

“What’s up with that look on your face, are you thinking about something?” He asked, taking his mask and placing it on the table. “I was just thinking of a way to celebrate this victory of yours.” You strattled him and kicked your leg on the other side of him. “Woah what’s this about?” He said with a smirk. You whispered in his ear “how about we take this to the bedroom?” A look of excitement washed over his face. “I thought you’d never ask!” He said with excitement, picked you up and practically ran to your room.

As he placed you on the bed he switched the playlist you were listening to, “Why’d you do that?” Slightly joking but almost offended. “I’ve got a special playlist I’ve been working on” he states and sticks his tongue out playfully. He puts on a playlist called “bangers” and the first song that plays is The hills by “The Weeknd.”

“Kay, now where we’re we?” You take off your shirt and he does the same, he stares at your topless body for what feels like forever, “wow,,,you look absolutely stunning” you feel a blush come over you due to the unexpected compliment. He began kissing your stomach, slowly moving his way up planting kisses all over your body, your scars, and taking his time with your stretch marks. You can hear him counting with every kiss.

He hovers over your neck, hesitating before resuming with the kisses “67, 68, 69 hehe 69, 70, 71…” he giggles and continues. The kisses started to become more and more passionate, leaving hickeys on your neck “mine, mine, mine” he mumbled as he ventured from your neck, to your jaw, moving to your lips.

As he pressed his lips to yours he moved one of his hands against your cheek and another slowly moving toward your sweatpants, “is it okay if I-“ you cut him off “oh please help yourself” you say as you waste no time getting back to connecting your lips. You place a hand on his chest and break away from the kiss gasping for air.

Octane pressed his forehead against yours as you both pant, “god I love you so much” he says “I love you too” he smiles as starts working his way into your panties and rubbing circles around your clit. The sudden movement sent a feeling of sensation through your body, your heavy breathing triggered something in Octane to start moving his long now dampened fingers faster at an exhilarating speed.

“Let me hear your pretty noises my love” Octane says as he began kissing your neck once more, as you moan in his ear you receive what sounded to be a mix between a growl and a moan from him. “Please~put them in me” you beg, with a slight hesitation Octane slips two fingers into your dripping wet pussy. “God you’re taking me so well, mi amor~ don’t cum yet, we still have a few more rounds to go and I want to make it last” He says with a raspy tone into your ear.

He pulls his fingers out of you as you’re on the verge of your climax, you let out a small simper and Octane seems to have noticed. “Oh what’s the matter baby, did you want me to keep going?” He says tauntingly. Octane slowly moves down your body trailing his hands, wandering almost like they had a mind of their own.

Octane propped himself up as he was hovering above your pelvis, he slid your sweatpants down every so slowly that you thought you would lose your mind if he didn’t hurry up. For being one of the fastest legends he sure did like taking his time with you. “Oh my, you’re soaking wet just because of these little guys” he says licking his fingers clean of your lingering taste. “And you did say I could help myself.” He says with a smirk.

He stood up and pulled something out of the nightstand next to the bed, “I picked this little bugger up last week.” He says sticking his tongue out at you. “You’re really taking your time tonight, aren’t you?” You ask impatiently “I’m exited and I kinda like making you wait.” He stuck out his tongue and opened the package to reveal a vibrating tongue piercing. He replaced the bar in his tongue with the rubber covered piercing and quickly got back to his position.

“Are you going to be able to handle this?” He teases. “It’ll depend on how well you can use it, but we’ll have to wait and see” you say in response. “If you say so” Octane says as he turns on the little bug in his mouth, as soon as the vibrations hit your lower lips your back arches and your hips buck upwards. Octane steadies your hips and pins then to the bed, for having such a small build he’s so much stronger than you’d think.

As he’s slurping up every drop that drips from your pussy the piercing is perfectly hitting your sweet spot. As he focused more on your clit one of his hands teased the surrounding area of your dripping hole. “God your little hole is so pathetic, dripping just from this piercing, let’s see if you can handle three fingers this time. Just tell me if it’s too much for you, okay?” Octane says reassuring you, making sure you feel comfortable. “Okay, I~” you’re cut off by his fingers curling inside you, keeping a steady pace but fast enough to satisfy his constant need for speed.

Steadily Octane began going faster and faster, in and out of your pussy, the noises from all of your juices leaking out with the speed of his fingers. You run your fingers though his hair and your other hand grips the sheets as you teacher your climax. “Octane, oh god, I’m gonna cum” you desperately say, bucking your hips and arching your back more and more. “Good baby, cum in my mouth, you’re doing so good for me”

As you finally reach your climax you thought it would be over from there, but as Octane held your legs down and locked in, you know you would be there for longer than you anticipated. “Oh good girl, but we’re not doing this for your pleasure, we’re doing this for me, it’s so fun to see you squirm and moan just because of me” You could feel your body getting hotter and hotter, the room smelt of sex and “It wasn’t me” by shaggy filled the silence in the room aside from the sound of the piercing in Octane’s mouth buzzing away as he started to ride you over the edge.

As you moaned his name and gripped his hair he would continue to rub your clit and finger your dripping hole, he moaned praises into your pussy and spat on it from time to time. Soon tears started to form in your eyes from the overstimulation, he had been eating you out for what seemed to have been hours but he didn’t seem to have lost any stamina from fingering you as fast as he did.

Octane started to slow down the pace of his fingers, looking up at you. Your body was twitching, tears stained your face, and you let out small whimpers and he finally removed his fingers from your drenched hole and replaced the burnt out piercing with the original bar that was in its place. “You did so good for me, baby. I’m so proud of you.” He said as he grabbed a wet rag from the bathroom. As he cleaned you up he praised you and told you how much you meant to him.

After he got you cleaned up he pulled an oversized shirt from the closet and clean underwear for you to put on. He placed you on the couch, put the bedsheets in the washer, and drew a bubble bath for the both of you.

He picked you up off the couch, undressed you and put you into the bathtub. “Are you gonna join me in here?” You ask with little energy. “Of course my love, I just need to remember if my legs are waterproof or not.” As he takes off his leg he looks at the small writing on the back of them: made for any type of terrain, adventure, and damage. “We’ll be fine”

He removes what little clothing he had left on him and slipped into the bathtub behind you, grabbing the shampoo and washing your hair. For how rough he was a few minutes ago he was quite gentle scrubbing the shampoo into your hair. “I love you mi amor, I really do mean it, you’re my everything and I would do anything to keep you happy” Octane rinsed your hair and planted soft kisses on your neck and shoulders. “I love you too, we should do this more often, Ive been trying to drop hints but I didn’t think you were picking up on any of them.” You respond as you move your hair to make way for his kisses.

“You have? I guess you just have to be more straight forward with me, but if I think you’re dropping hints I’ll ask before I assume.” He says in response rubbing body wash on your shoulders and arms. “Sounds good to me, thank you again, I love you.” You say with a slight hum to your voice. “I love you too y/n”

End

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Thank you for reading!! This is my first fanfic and it took me just about two days to make. Expect more in the future unless I get flagged for inappropriate content.

I may or may not have had to look up if octanes prosthetics were waterproof, but I’d say I like how this turned out!

#octane x reader #fiction #apex fanfic #octavio silva #imagines #apex imagines

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queenofheartts-love · 3 years ago

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A Second Chance (MCU FanFic)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Raven (OC)

Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven Steve agrees to go on date with her. Steve ends up having a wonderful time with Raven and Natasha pressures him for the details. Later Steve makes the decision to go see Raven at work.

Warnings: Little Fluff, Mention of Cheating, Mention of a Shitty Ex, Mention of Gaslighting, Alluding to Abuse, Mention of a Parent's Death, Super Dialogue Heavy

Word Count: 3.8K

Author Notes: My favorite thing about the MCU will forever be Nat and Steve's constant banter. Raven explains her past and it could be a trigger for some people so just be careful loves

This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)

Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated.

If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist

Chapter 5

On the drive home my mind couldn't get Raven out of it. I instantly knew that I was going to have a hard time sleeping. I should have kissed her, I thought to myself. I knew that I couldn't have because I would have been crossing a line as a Friend. I almost hated the word as I thought of it. I was becoming aware of the fact that I didn't want to just be Raven's friend. But at the end of the day if being her friend meant that I could still be in her presence then I would do it. I let out a sigh as I swung a leg off my motorcycle in the garage of the avengers compound.

"I should have kissed her." I said out loud as a heavy sigh came out of me.

I really was the master of taking too long with my feelings. Walking over to the door I let the security system scan my retinas before it unlocked the door for me. I made my way to my bedroom and switched on the light. I looked around my bedroom and how empty it looked compared to Raven's home. If anything I wanted to be back over there to be surrounded by the cozy feeling it gave off. Once I laid in bed I stared up at the ceiling knowing sleep wasn't going to greet me anytime soon.

"Friday?"I asked.

"Yes Mr. Rogers."She said instantly.

"Can you play some songs by Norah Jones?"I asked her. My mind immediately going back to Raven's bright smile when she showed me the album.

(Insert "The Nearness of You" by Norah Jones)

"Right away." She said before the calming sound of piano filled my room. I relaxed my shoulders as I listened to the song. My eyes were still fixated on the ceiling and I let another heavy sigh come out of my mouth. I let my mind replay the evening from start to finish. Natasha was right from the beginning, I did have some hidden feelings for Raven. Was I going to act on these said feelings this time or was I going to wait another 70 years?

"Damnit, I should have kissed her." I said again.

As soon as I walked down the hall toward the kitchen and saw Natasha at the table, I knew I was in for it. She wasn’t even looking at the newspaper today. She was probably expecting a full report from me. I hung my head down and shook it. What even was I going to say? I placed my hands on my hips and looked into the kitchen. I took in a breath in, let it out, dropped my hands and walked right into the kitchen.

“So?” Natasha asked as I walked right by her. I thought about just ignoring her but I didn’t.

“So…” I trailed off, giving my back to her as I went straight for the coffee.

“Oh come on, are you really going to make me ask?” She asked.

“Ask what?” I responded. I heard the irritation in her sigh.

“How was your date?” I didn’t even have to look at her to hear the smile in her voice. I opened my mouth to respond but she spoke before I could say anything.

“And you can’t tell me it wasn’t because I know it was.”

“How do you know that?” I asked her.

“You didn’t get back until after one in the morning. Half of the buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned and you had that same look on your face as you do now.” She said as I turned around to face her. She was enjoying this more than I thought she was. I opened my mouth once more and closed it when she spoke.

“I looked at the cameras.” She said with a shrug.

“It wasn’t a date.” I said

“Oh come on!” She yelled at me.

“It wasn’t.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“What did you two do then?”

“She made dinner, we ate. Talked quite a bit…” I shrugged again, taking a sip from my coffee mug. Nat narrowed her eyes at me.

“What else?” She asked.

“That’s it.” I told her.

“It was just a friendly dinner. Just two friends getting to know each other. It was no different than us having dinner.” I told her.

“You’re lying.” She said, folding her arms over her chest.

“I am not.” I told her.

“You are. Should I ask her myself? Maybe I should go to one of those night outs she puts on...”She said. Knowing Nat I wouldn’t put it past her to actually do that. Which wouldn’t have been good because Raven asked me to forget what she said. I didn’t need Nat bringing it back up.

“Fine. We danced.” I told her. I watched her blank expression as she blinked at my answer.

“Is ‘danced’ old man code for fucked?”

“Language Natasha.” I said and she laughed.

“No it’s not, we didn't do anything physical.” I explained.

“Clearly. You wouldn’t be as up tight if you had.” She said and I allowed a look of confusion to come across my face.

“I like watching you sweat. You never get nervous. Except with women... It’s sweet.” She said, giving me a smile. I rolled my eyes and lifted my mug to take a sip.

“So you danced?” She questioned and I nodded.

“She told me about her mother and how she had passed. Talked about her brother some more. She brought up her charity work with the shelter. And we danced.” I said.

“Yeah cancer is a real bitch. Her mother was a very honorable woman. She paved the way for women of color in the medical field.” Nat said and I stood there agreeing with her. Then stopped when I realized that she was telling me new information about Raven that I didn’t know.

“Can you stop telling me things about her?” I asked and she raised a brow at me.

“Why? Are you planning on spending more time with her so I won’t have to?” She asked me. I let out a frustrated puff of air. I didn't respond to her question because I was still trying to figure out how much I wanted to be around Raven.

“You had a good night though?” She finally asked me. I sighed and nodded my head because I did indeed have a good night.

“It was a great time.” I told her, rubbing the back of my neck with my free hand.

“I’m glad.” She replied picking up her mug. She sat in silence with me for no more than a couple minutes.

“From what I’ve found out about her; she’s a great woman, Steve. You’d be lucky to have her and she’d be lucky to have you.” I couldn't help but to nod at her words. I knew first hand that Raven was in fact turning out to be a great woman. I'm sure she looked great on paper as well.

“In whatever weird partnership you two want to be: Lovers, friends, associates… friends with benefits. She’ll probably be a good one.”

“Just friends.”I said more so reminding myself of what Raven wanted to be.

“A very cute, beautiful friend, yes.”

“Nat.” I said.

“Okay, Okay. I’m done... I really hope she fucks the grumpiness out of you.” She mumbled.

“Natasha come on, it’s not even noon yet.” I said, pointing at the clock on the wall of the kitchen.

“Okay, Alright. I’m actually done now.” She told me. I finished my coffee and rinsed out my mug. I looked at Nat who was now reading the newspaper. I walked up to the table and tapped it two times. Something that had turned out to be code for us to be transparent and honest with each other. I looked over at her the same time she looked up at me.

"You deserve to be happy Steve." She told me.

"What happens to you if I go off and be happy and you're here by yourself?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"Don't let me be the reason why you don't take this chance." She told me. Her voice was stern.

"We're in a time where happiness is few and far in-between. And you're getting it handed to you practically on a silver platter- Plus with some help from me." She said the last words with a smile.

"Don't waste it." She told me.

"What if she just wants to be friends?" I asked her.

"Did she say those exact words or is that just you trying to make yourself miserable?" Nat asked me and I chuckled dismissing her words.

"I don't do that." I told her and Nat double tapped on the table. I let out a frustrated puff of air.

"She basically told me that she has feelings for me but she asked me to forget she said anything. She also brought up that she asked me over as a friend." I told her.

"Sounds like mostly you. I've seen her background, Steve. She has some baggage. You can't just shake that off easily. Get to know her some more." She told me.

"Besides she wouldn't have danced with if she truly only wanted to be your friend. I would have never done that." She told me with a smile. I chuckled again.

"Yeah you wouldn't have." I agreed with her. I walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the garage. I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack. My mind replayed the evening again.

"I really should have kissed her." I said as I stood in front of my motorcycle. I fished my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the contacts until I found 'Raven Cadieux’. I hit call and then held the phone to my ear. I was already regretting my decision when I heard the phone ring. Doubt crossed my mind the longer the ringing went. What if she didn’t want to hear from me? What if she was busy? What if-

��Hello!” Her voice chimed.

“Hey.”I said, immediately feeling relieved.

“It’s Steve.”

“Steve who?” She asked. My mouth twitched at her words. Maybe she didn’t have my number saved.

“Oh, um, Steve Rogers.”

“I’m messing with you. I only know one Steve” She said with a laugh. Relief rushed over me again.

“How are you?” She asked me.

“Fine-I’m fine. How are you?” I asked in return.

“Same old same old.”She told me.

“I was just calling to make sure you made it to work alright. I know I left pretty late.” I told her, my free hand rubbing the back of my neck.

“Oh. Yeah I did.” She laughed.

“That’s very sweet of you. I’ve had my fair share of late nights and early mornings.” She told me

“Right… Well I’ll let you go. Just wanted to check in I guess?” Why am I so awkward?

“What are you doing right now?” She asked me and I looked around the garage trying to come up with something to tell her.

“Absolutely nothing.” I told her.

“Wanna come see me?”I nodded in response as if she could see me. I would love nothing more than to see you. I said to myself.

“Sure. If you want me too.” I told her instead.

“If you want to come see me, then you can.” She said putting emphasis on ‘you’. Believe me I want to, I told myself. I thought back to our conversation last night, when she asked me when was the last time I had done something for myself.

“I want to-If you’re not busy that is.”

“Steve, I wouldn't have asked you if I was busy.” She said with a laugh. She was so direct with her words. She really didn't sugar coat anything.

“If you get here around eleven I’ll be free from then on till after lunch.” She told me. I looked at my watch and it was just now a little after ten.

“I can do that.”

“Awesome. Well I’ll text you my location.” She told me before she got off the phone. It didn’t take me long to get to her clinic. Traffic was better since there wasn’t as many people on the roads. I waited next to my bike until it was closer to eleven so I wouldn’t bother her. Nat was right. I was nervous when it came to women. I could jump out of a plane without blinking an eye but asking a woman out. Not too easy. I pulled the door open to the clinic and was greeted with a warm welcome from a young lady behind the front desk.

“How can I help you?” She asked.

“I’m here to see Raven.” I told her, clearing my throat.

“Let me see…” She said. She looked down at the computer and made a face before she smiled.

“Dr. Cadieux is expecting you.” She said.

“If you’ll go around this corner and through that door at the end of the hall then you’ll see her.” She told me as she pointed to the hall and the door.

“Thank you” I told her. I walked through the door holding it open for a blonde hair woman wearing scrubs to walk through. I let my eyes wander around at the metal built in tables and the metal dog kennels. The light colored wood cabinets and the posters of the anatomy of different animals. It was easy to tell that it was sterile like a hospital; it even smelled like a hospital.

“Hey.” She said, giving me a bright smile when she saw me. She stood up from her chair and walked over to me.

“This is impressive,” I told her, matching her smile. She was wearing dark navy scrubs and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Her name was stitched into the fabric of her scrubs.

“Thank you.” She replied as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I instinctively also wrapped my arms around her. She gave me a tight squeeze which was turning out to be a normal gesture that she did. She pulled away from me and looked up at me

“So you wanted to see me?” She asked with a sweet smile on her face. I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck.

“Yeah… I did.” I told her and she laughed walking into an office. She sat behind a desk and she pointed at a chair across the room then wiggled her finger at me. I grabbed the chair and then brought it into her office sitting next to her behind the desk.

"Look who's here." Raven said with a smile and I looked over her shoulder to see Sugar on a dog bed wagging her fluffy tail at me.

"How's my girl?" I asked as she got up and greeted me.

"She loves you." Raven told me and I grinned as I rubbed Sugar's ears.

"The feeling is mutual."

“How’s your day been?” Raven asked me.

“Alright.” I told her.

“I’m living with one of my friends right now. So we can keep each other company… This morning she was grilling me pretty hard about last night.” I told her with a chuckle.

“Really? Why?” She asked.

“I don’t really ever go out with anyone... I came back late...” I told her and her eyes widened.

“Oh! Yeah I’m sure that looked bad. I shouldn’t have had you out so late.” She said before she turned to check an email.

“Natasha is just nosy. I didn’t mind being out late. I might be old but physically I’m not.” I told her.

“You definitely are not.” She mumbled and I felt the right side of my lip tug into a smile.

“Anyway how’s your day been?”

“Uh… good yeah. I am a little tired but I’ll be okay. I’ve seen some sweet puppies today so that always makes the day better.” She told me.

“I can imagine.” I replied. We fell back into the same silence that we did last night. I was starting to like it just being in her presence. My body instantly started to relax while I was around her. I felt myself wanting to take her hand in mine but I didn’t. She was working and I didn’t want to disturb her. I looked around her office, looking at her family photos and pictures of her dogs. I smiled seeing the plants she had in her office. She seemed to love plants almost as much as she loved dogs. Another smile came to me as I looked at a picture of her with looked to be like friends. I assumed it was before the blip. She looked so happy in the photo. It was nice to see photos of her like that before everything. I pushed my eyebrows together as I read a wooden sign that said "Dr. Warrior" with a family crest on it.

"Dr. Warrior?" I questioned. Raven turned in her chair to look at it with me.

"Yeah, our last name means warrior." She told me

"My father made that for my mom when she became a doctor. It hung in her office for years... Now it's in mine." She told me with a smile. I felt a little guilty for bringing it up but I enjoyed hearing more about her history.

“You’re not originally from here?” I asked her and she laughed, turning her attention back on me.

“What gave me away?” She asked.

“I saw your diploma out front”

“That makes sense. Yeah I’m not from there either.” She let out a small laugh.

“I’m actually from New Orleans. I went to school in Oklahoma. River went to school up here. Then I moved here and I’ve been here ever since. I used to hate it but it's been growing on me.” She told me and shrugged her shoulders.

“You’ve always been here though right?” She asked me and I nodded.

“I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Then I spent quite a bit of time in Germany. Then I was on ice as you know.” I said with a laugh and she joined me.

“Then I woke up here.” I told her.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Germany. I spent a few summers in Australia. But that’s about as much traveling as I’ve done.” She didn’t mention that the reason she went to Australia was because of her boyfriend. She actually hadn’t mentioned him at all.

“Germany wasn’t the best place when I went.” I told her.

“Oh! Right! I’m sorry.”She said, patting my knee with her hand.

“You’re okay.” I told her with a chuckle.

“Why Australia?” I asked her. She rolled her eyes and took in a breath.

“I had a boyfriend in college. He lived there. Beautiful place. I love the country and the animals but he was a piece of shit.” She said. She shook her body as if she was trying to get rid of a nasty thought. Was he the baggage Natasha was telling me about. I placed my hand on my chest and looked like I was in pain.

“You had a boyfriend before me? That hurts.” I told her and she pushed my shoulder.

“If you went to my college I would have dated you over him in a heartbeat.” She told me and I flashed her a grin. So she did see me as more than a friend.

“Oh I don’t know about that...”

“I do.” She told me, letting out another laugh.

“I shouldn't have been with him, or at least shouldn’t have stayed with him.” She said and though she was laughing I could see some actual hurt in her eyes.

“I’m confused on how anyone would have the audacity to do wrong by you.” I told her. Her cheeks grew a red hue, I smiled seeing it.

“You’re too sweet.” She said with a sigh.

(Insert ‘Change’ by Banks)

“He just… Didn’t care. I guess. He never listened. He was always right, I was always wrong. He cheated- all the time and then lied about it. Then called me crazy when I brought it up. He would get better and would love me and then he would go out and cheat and…" She trailed her. I could see the pain in her eyes as if she was still dealing with the after affects.

"I said I was done with him many times. Too many.” She said with a humorless laugh. It made sense now why she kept to herself. She wasn’t used to anyone else besides family caring for her. My heart ached for her just like it did last night.

“Then when my dad died… He was there.” She shrugged as she looked off into the distance.

“It was comforting to have someone who knew everything, instead of having someone new. So I stayed some more. Then the day I needed him...The day we buried my father I wasn't being fun enough for him...” She trailed off again and I shook my head. I could feel the rage building in my chest. I couldn't help but to think how easy it would be to knock him down. I looked down when I saw Sugar get up and walk over to Raven. She placed her head in Raven's lap looking up at her. I watched as Raven placed her hand on Sugars hair and smoothed her fur. She took a deep breath and looked over at me.

"Long story short. I filed a restraining order. Something that was long over due." She said shrugging her shoulders again.

“Piece of shit is right.” I told her and nodded her head in agreement.

“For sure.” She said. I reached over to her offering her my hand and she took it. I closed my fingers around it and let my thumb stroke her knuckles. I could see what Nat was telling me this morning. She had deep scars and she was still healing from them. Healing alone at that. Not only had she lost both of her parents but she also lost her twin. Which I could only imagine how hard that was for her. Then to add the trauma she went through in her last relationship. She had more pain and trauma then the average person.

(Insert "Work Song" by Hozier)

"Sorry... I didn't mean to dump all of that on you." She told me and I shook my head at her.

"You never have to apologize to me Raven." I told her. I looked into those beautiful brown irises of hers. I could see tears start to collect on her waterlines. She nodded at my words and squeezed my hand. She became silent once more. I leaned my head towards the speaker in her office.

"Who's this song by?" I asked her. Trying to change the subject.

"Hozier." She whispered out.

"I like it." I told her with a smile and she matched it. She gave my hand another squeeze. I took it as a sign that Raven was okay when Sugar moved away from her and went back to her dog bed. This whole time she had been keeping everyone at arms length to protect herself. I wondered how long she had been doing that. From afar Raven seemed so strong but up close she was glass. Beautifully stained glass. I knew from here on out ,that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that no one broke her again.

Taglist: @johnricharddeacy

**Divider provided by Firefly

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aethersea · 4 years ago

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you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

#finx rambles #finx has friends on the internet #be sure to tag me if you do this so I can go read it!#also you don't have to yammer on as much as I do #I'm just Like This you know #hmm perhaps I should readmore this actually #hmmmmmmm #I think I will use the excuse that it is 6 am to not do that #on account of how surely there are not many people up #and anyway this isn't meant for reblogging; you will only have to deal with this post once

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rpgmgames · 5 years ago

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April’s Featured Game: Nobody's Home

DEVELOPER(S): oates ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Survival Horror SUMMARY: After a night of extreme drinking and partying, you wake up in stranger's bed to discover... Nobody's Home.

Buy the game here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *oates: Hi, this is oates! I'm a pixel artist and game developer, I've started making games with rpgmaker in 2016 with VX Ace and now currently using MV for recent projects. Previous projects I've worked on were the FNaF-inspired Souls-like One Night at the Steeze, my first rpgmaker game and it's prequel, the FNaF-inspired roguelike No Delivery. Other games I've worked on include the fangames Day Dreaming Derpy, made in VX Ace and Spike's Day Off, made in MV and the latest in a series of previous fangames previously developed on Adobe Flash.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *oates: Nobody's Home is largely based on my experiments to find and apply horrific elements in modern situations or phenomena. The scenario being explored here in Nobody's Home is the aftermath of some crazy party. Sound design is especially important when crafting a horror scenario, so I often look to music to draw inspiration. Much of the atmosphere and house design was inspired by music and imagery associated with '70s yacht rock (a sub-genre of soft rock). Another important note is a lot of the general mood and 'weirdness' was inspired by a band I listen a lot to, Dance Gavin Dance, specifically their "deathstar" album. However they have a tendency in all their albums to switch genres mid-song, often going from their post-hardcore sound to funk, pop, and even rap; aside from that, some of the subject matter covered can range from disturbing to unpleasant to nonsensical, but combined with the amazing music, it creates an experience that pulls the listener in all different directions. It got to the point that I was naming events in the game after some their tracks so I had to be careful not to inadvertently make a fangame haha But there are some easter eggs in Nobody's Home that were intentionally left in, and I'm fairly certain players have identified it already.

How long did you work on your project? *oates: I used much of the same framework left over from my previous project No Delivery for this development cycle, so the hassle for setting up asset pipelines was very much mitigated. I started in earnest, making assets back in January this year so it took roughly 2+ months to finish development for this project.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *oates: Aside from the previous music inspirations, I was really intrigued with the way Resident Evil 7's Beginning Hour demo was able to pick up where Konami's cancelled PT left off in terms of survival horror games to look forward to back in 2017. Prior to later updates, the initial demo really only included a few set pieces, basic item interaction, and almost no puzzles from the full game. It was largely able to pull off scaring players from almost atmosphere alone (if you exclude the Jack Baker and ghost encounters). It was later in the full game that it was able to show off it's metroidvania-esque design to its fullest. After my previous project, I wanted to step away from roguelike design for a bit and focus a little more on an exploration-based experience, so I took a few notes from the way RE7 and RE2: Remake handled map design and progression.

Did you come across any challenges during development? How did you overcome or work around them? *oates: I was coming off a severe cold last year and it took most of January for me to recover, so it was a little hard to start full-on development immediately like I normally would on top of other career matters. And looking at events today, it's even more imperative that developers practice healthy habits during development.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *oates: I've had the idea for Nobody's Home as a concept for a while, but filling in those gaps with actual gameplay between centerpieces was a big variable. I went back and forth between the turn-based item combat from the previous project to cutting out combat entirely. While I didn't implement it, I also brainstormed a few concepts for overworld action and combat ala Zelda, but it seemed too complex given the time frame I set for myself. Eventually I settled on a middle ground between full combat and separate encounters, with "enemies" acting as essentially a toll gate. The rest of the game followed suit with various tolls and "mouse traps" for the player to trigger at their own behest. This wasn't necessarily the design I had in mind at first, but it helped to concisely fill a relatively small location with specifically "deadly" content.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *oates: I largely work solo for both development and art, but I do regularly work with a few musicians for an original soundtrack. I first started working with other composers for the fangame Day Dreaming Derpy, where after the initial demo was released, I received emails from a few musicians volunteering to contribute some tracks for the game. In all, the original soundtrack contained 9 tracks in total, with 3 tracks from each composer; each of them doing an amazing job and, in my opinion brought the project back then to a higher degree of quality. This was how I met some of the composers I still work with today and they all have some really great work! TheNGVirus @NGVirusNG1 Kaminakat @thekaminakat dRedder @HornyGremlin

What is the best part of developing a game? *oates: It's a toss up between the initial brainstorming/research and the first run-through when you have your desired maps linked together. For the brainstorming, it's pretty fun to learn about subject matter you want to do justice to as well as stretching your creative muscles for the first time in service to a certain concept. However this obviously wears off when you devote too much time to a particular concept, but it's still enjoyable nevertheless. For making that run-through, it doesn't necessarily mean to have all the events implemented, but to experience your game the way players will experience it for the first time does give a sense of completion/cohesion to what you, as a developer, are trying to accomplish. It essentially puts what you're working on into a different perspective for you.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *oates: I do keep an eye out for what other rpgmaker projects are doing, and to see what others can do with the engine helps get the creative juices flowing; it's also fun to try to mentally reverse engineer how certain mechanics or effects were made. And it's always great to see fellow devs showcase what's possible with the engine.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *oates: Nobody's Home has a relatively small cast of characters, whom you do interact with but never see, this is largely to done to create a sense of "un-relatability", but if I had to pick a character, it'd be "car guy", the guy you find stuck in the car. They have a good line, " ...there'd be a good reason for this, but there isn't..." Story of my life.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *oates: There were a few areas I would have liked to expand on or add, specifically- the attic + roof, the front lawn, behind the walls, and an entire second floor. Unfortunately that meant potentially adding more questlines and NPCs while the first set of questlines were pretty interwoven so it would have been way more complex, also again, given the time frame I set, it would have extended the development cycle way beyond what I had time for. But if I had implemented those extra areas, the game's length would also go way beyond the 30 min - 1 hr it takes to complete the game as it is now.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *oates: I'd like to do both really, each installment of the VCRPG line of games is definitely a stand-alone story, or an isolated incident, but I would love to explore the aftermath of the game's events and how the passage of time ravages and twists the story into urban legend. I like to treat places and environments like characters as well, capable of making memories, being misunderstood, preserved, destroyed, and ultimately capable of change.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *oates: Both the fan reaction and free time honestly speaking. Once the development cycle finishes and the game is published, your work isn't really finished as there's always a chance someone's feedback can apply to immediate changes or patches you can implement, even during the release period. Marketing is also another large step to take into consideration after release, this includes tweeting, sending keys for lets plays, etc. Watching playthroughs is also a really good way to collect data on what parts of your design fall through and what fail to land. But after all that is said and done, some free time really helps the brain recuperate.

Was there something you were afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *oates: Just whether or not I handled the game's subject matter tastefully. Like horror cinema, everything done is in service the the themes and message of the piece as a whole.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *oates: The game engine is essentially a tool, and like any tool you can find plenty of creative ways to get the same result. And don't be afraid to research whatever it is you need help with, it also helps to be specific with what you want.

Question from last month's featured dev @moca-pz: If you can collaborate with any game developer in the world, who would it be? What would be their role(s) and what would be your role(s)? *oates: Game developer I'd like to work with: Hidetaka Miyazaki His role: Story Lead and Director My role: Drinking buddy Game we're working on: SciFi Souls

We mods would like to thank oates for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Nobody's Home if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpg maker #nobody's home (game)#nobodys home #nobody's home #game #rpgmaker horror #pixel horror #horror game #indie game #gotm #game of the month #oates #gotm 2020 #2020 #april #april 2020

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 4 years ago

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HALESTORM's LZZY HALE Encourages Young Musicians To Perform Live Without Use Of Pre-Recorded Tracks

HALESTORM's Lzzy Hale has encouraged young musicians to perform live without the aid of backing tracks, calling it "the most real, pure feeling you can get in this life."

In recent years, more and more artists have been given a pass for relying on pre-recorded tracks, drum triggers and other assorted technology that makes concerts more synthetic but also more consistent. For better or worse, pre-recorded tracks are becoming increasingly common for touring artists of all levels and genres and they're not just used in pop music — many rock artists utilize playback tracks to varying degrees.

On Friday (February 19), Hale took to her Instagram to write: "To perform a live rock show... no tracks, no click, no lip syncing, no trickery... is the most Real, pure feeling you can get in this life. To hold the moment in your hand, to know in your bones that this could be magic or a train wreck , depending on how you've prepared and the risk you take being on stage... and then trusting in your soul to perform.. that is LIVING in its purest form. I encourage every young musician to Expose themselves in this way. Know what it's like to have the room depend on you to elevate it. Play in front of a room filled with two people and the sound guy... make it sound like u are performing to a stadium instead. It's the most beautiful way to find yourself as an artist. Because if you can do all these things and then make it to playing to stadiums and major festivals, that FEELING is an intangible void that cannot be filled with anything on this earth. Can't wait to get back to this very soon!"

This is not the first time Lzzy has spoken out against using backing tracks to enhance her band's live performances. Last June, she told "Offstage With DWP" about HALESTORM's insistence on performing completely live: "We do it more selfishly, not necessarily as a statement. But it has kind of become this interesting statement. We're very proud of that. But also, just again selfishly, I don't think I'd enjoy myself. I've guested with people — I've dueted with people and got up onstage where they have those things and I can hear it in my in-ear monitors — and some of it is, like, 'Chorus in one, two, three, four…' I'm, like, 'Oh my gosh! This would drive me nuts.' And also, I would rather have us sound imperfect than have somebody figure out that I'm miming, or a shaker goes awry — 'Where's the tambourine coming from?'

"I'm not a fan of when I find out my favorite bands do that," she continued. "And, like I said, I'm not knocking anybody who does it — you do you. But for us, that's just not our M.O. And there's nothing more fun that going out on stage and knowing that you're responsible for either we're gonna be tight, we're gonna be loose, something's gonna go wrong, we're gonna have to pull the train back onto the tracks, but that's cause we're listening to each other.

"And also, if we weren't actually playing, we would just get worse as musicians," she added. "We've been to shows where somebody's computer went down — the tracks are no longer there — and then they don't play anymore. And we're, like, 'Can't you just plug the instruments in?'

"I honestly think you would get so used to kind of like doing a music video and just miming along that maybe you can't [play live] anymore. So we've become better musicians because we challenge ourselves in that way."

Last March, SHINEDOWN guitarist Zach Myers said that "90 percent" of rock artists use at least some pre-recorded tracks during their live performances. He told Rock Feed: "It bothers me that it bothers people. I'm, like, 'Why does this bother you?' It's the way it is. People have been doing this since the '80s. And we want the sound to be the best it can be. Could we go up there, just the four of us, and put on the best rock show ever? Of course. But that's not how we wanna do it."

Former SKID ROW singer Sebastian Bach has previously said that he is "one of the last people" who are still not using pre-recorded tracks at their live shows. "I don't know how much longer I can say to you that I don't use tapes onstage, because I don't, and I never have," he told Consequence Of Sound. "And I still don't. When I have opening bands, and they're using tapes, and then I come out and I don't use tapes… sometimes, it makes me feel stupid, because I'm like, 'What am I doing, when all these kids half my age can come onstage and do all of my moves, but they don't have to warm up for an hour before the show, or weeks, before the first show?' Sometimes, I'm like, 'Why do I even bother, if the public is so used to this other way?' It's becoming very rare to come see a good band that's actually a real band — that's not miming or doing silly moves while a tape is running. It just becomes more rare as the years go on."

In 2019, IRON MAIDEN guitarist Adrian Smith said that he doesn't "agree" with certain rock artists relying on pre-recorded tracks during their live performances. "I tell you what, I see it with a lot of younger bands, and I don't think it's a good thing at all," he told the New York Post. "I mean, the music is getting too technical now. You have computerized recording systems, which we use, but I think we use them more for convenience than because we need to. We've toured with a couple bands that use tapes — it's not real. You're supposed to play live; it should be live. I don't agree with using tapes … I think it's a real shame."

One musician who has been open about his band's used of taped vocals during live performances is MÖTLEY CRÜE bassist Nikki Sixx, who said: "We've used technology since '87." He added the group employed "sequencers, sub tones, background vox tracks, plus background singers and us. [MÖTLEY CRÜE also taped] stuff we can't tour with, like cello parts in ballads, etc.... We love it and don't hide it. It's a great tool to fill out the sound."

In a 2014 interview, MÖTLEY CRÜE guitarist Mick Mars admitted that he wasn't comfortable with the fact that his band used pre-recorded backing vocals in its live shows, claiming that he preferred to watch groups whose performances are delivered entirely live. "I don't like it," he said. "I think a band like ours… I have to say '60s bands were my favorite — '60s and '70s bands — because they were real, like, three-piece bands or four-piece bands, and they just got up there and kicked it up. Made a mistake? So what? Sounded a little bit empty here or there? So what? It's the bigness and the rawness and the people that developed and wrote the songs and made them and presented them. To me, that's what I really like. I mean, I could put on a MÖTLEY CD and play with it all day long. I don't wanna do that."

KISS lead singer Paul Stanley, who has been struggling to hit the high notes in many of the band's classic songs for a number of years, has been accused of singing to a backing tape on KISS's ongoing "End Of The Road" tour.

Back in 2015, KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons slammed bands who used backing tapes for not being honest enough to include that fact on their concert tickets.

"I have a problem when you charge $100 to see a live show and the artist uses backing tracks," Simmons said. "It's like the ingredients in food. If the first ingredient on the label is sugar, that's at least honest. It should be on every ticket — you're paying $100, 30 to 50 percent of the show is [on] backing tracks and they'll sing sometimes, sometimes they'll lip sync. At least be honest. It's not about backing tracks, it's about dishonesty.

"There's nobody with a synthesizer on our stage, there's no samples on the drums, there's nothing," Gene continued. "There's very few bands who do that now — AC/DC, METALLICA, us. I can't even say that about U2 or THE [ROLLING] STONES. There's very few bands who don't use [backing] tracks."

#lzzy hale #Halestorm #2021 news

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actualhumansunshine · 3 years ago

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my top 9 albums of the year! (yes it’s a few days late, it’s fine)

1. sob rock, john mayer: this should come as no surprise to anyone. he’s back, he’s better than ever, and he’s perfectly embodying the soft rock sound of the 70′s and 80′s favorites: wild blue, all i want is to be with you, til the right one comes

2. flowers for vases / descansos, hayley williams: i think it took me until about the middle of the year to finally get around to this album, and i just remember kicking myself as soon as i did cause i could have spent so much time this fucking MASTERPIECE favorites: over those hills, no use i just do, trigger

3. gold-digger sounds, leon bridges: he does it again!! definitely a little different than what i expected originally going into it, but it’s so smooth and silky and i love the way it all just flows together perfectly favorites: sho nuff, motorbike, steam

4. surface sounds, kaleo: i love everything they put out and this album is no exception, but it feels like they’ve really raised the bar after how great their debut was a few years ago. the instrumentions, the lyrics, his fucking VOICE- it’s beautiful, honestly favorites: hey gringo, i want more, my fair lady

5. an evening with silk sonic, silk sonic: i mean. what is there to say that hasn’t been said by everyone and their mother? it’s fun, it’s funky, it’s more than worth the ridiculously long wait they put us through to get it, and we can only hope that we might get more in the future favorites: after last night, fly as me, skate

6. take the sadness out of saturday night, bleachers: honestly this could make the list purely for chinatown alone. that song is so fucking good that the rest of the album could be shit and it would still make the list (it’s definitely not but you get what i’m saying) favorites: chinatown, how dare you want more,

7. a touch of the beat..., aly & aj: if you’re not listening to aly & aj, what are you even doing honestly??? yeah the album title is ridiculously long for no reason, but they have yet to put out a single bad song and that’s what really matters favorites: pretty places, lucky to get him, hold out

8. when facing things we turn away from, luke hemmings: i mentioned a while back that i’d heard (and loved) baby blue and it made me want to check out the rest of the album. well, i finally got around to it recently and it’s exactly as great as i expected it to be!! it gets a little slow at the end, but it’s so rich and lush and textured that even the slower songs are a treat favorites: baby blue, saigon, motion

9. life in colour, picture this: didn’t quite reach the highs of MDRN LV for me (perhaps one of the greatest albums of all time, full stop), which is why it’s a bit lower on the list, but it’s still a really solid album with all the lyrical and melodic elements that make picture this so great in the first place favorites: addict of magic, oslo, can you feel it?

#best of 2021 #mine #tunes #i was out of town all weekend visiting family so we're gonna catch up on everything i otherwise would have posted on the first ghalsdkjf

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demivampirew · 5 years ago

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Keep Calm and Go to London Chapter 25

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters in the masterlist

Triggers: Pure SMUT/ *nal/ - If you don’t like smut, just skip the chapter, there’s not vital information to the story, just smut.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185 @madbaddic7ed @summersong69

-What lingerie should I wear tonight? - you asked Henry. He was taking a break from playing WOW and was drinking a coffee while watching some tv on the couch. You left your phone on the coffee table and turn to look at him, resting your head on your hand while your elbow was on the back of the couch. - You could wear nothing and I'd be happy, baby - he replied winking. - Seriously? Do you not like me wearing lingerie? Because every time I ask you this your answer is me being naked- you said frowning and pouting. - I do. I loveeee to see you wearing lingerie; it's just that I also happen to love to feel your naked breasts against my bare chest. The feeling of your soft skin and your hard nipples arouses me a lot.-he shrugged. - But I would love to see you wear the red lace one. I love that one.- he said grinning. - Alright, that one will be.- you agreed and kissed him on the cheek. You watched tv in silence for a few moments before you spoke again.- Baby, I was thinking that maybe we could try something different tonight if you want to. - What?- he questioned curiously. - Well, maybe we could do that thing that most men always beg women to do.- you replied smirking. He looked at you confused. You giving and "Are you serious?!" surprised that he didn't catch what you were trying to say. - Anal, Henry, anal.- you finally said sighing. Henry had just decided to take a sip of the coffee and chocked with it after hearing from you. You waited until after having checked that he was ok to laugh off his reaction.- Oh, common! Don't act like my suggestion shocked you, by this point you should know that I like to try different things in sex and would not exactly say no to one of the big ones.-you pointed out. He still was speechless.- We don't have to do it if you don't want to. It's ok if that's not your thing.- you assured him. - Oh, I do want to.- he replied- You took me by surprise, that's all.- he explained and you rolled your eyes and chuckled. - Great, so tonight we can do that.- you concluded with a smile. Later that day, you went into Henry's office where he was playing online games and gave him a pen drive. You had a smile from ear to ear and gave him a sassy look as you handed him the little electronic device. - What is this?- he asked confused. - Is a gift.- you replied.- I have a few musicians that I know and I hired them to record the instrumental parts of a song I wrote for you and then put all their different recordings together and the other day that you went to the gym alone, I used that time to record the vocals and finish this song. Before you listen to it, I would like to ease your mind by assuring you that no one but me has listened or read the lyrics; the players only saw the partiture for the notes that they should play but had no idea what the song is about. - you explained, winking.- I'm going to get ready for you know what. I think this is going to help you get in the mood.- you giggled and kissed him on the cheek before leaving the room. Henry took the pen drive and plugged it into the laptop and open the folder. Inside there was a single file: an mp3 archive. He pressed play and a song began to play:

Come here, big boy Ah, mm, yeah

You've been a bad, bad boy I'm gonna take my time, so enjoy There's no need to feel no shame Relax, and sip upon my champagne

'Cause I wanna give you a little taste Of the sugar below my waist, you nasty boy

I'll give you some oh-la-la Voulez vous coucher avec moi? I got you breaking into a sweat Got you hot, bothered, and wet You nasty boy Nasty, naughty boy

Oh baby, for all it's worth I swear I'll be the first to blow your mind Now, if you're ready, come and get me I'll give you that hot, sweet, sexy loving (loving)

Hush now, don't say a word I'm gonna give you what you deserve Now, you better give me a little taste Put your icing on my cake You nasty boy

Oh no, oh there I go again I need a spanking 'cause I've been bad So let my body do the talkin' I'll slip you that hot, sweet, sexy loving

Oh, ha! Come on, daddy! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh yeah Oh yeah, oh, come on, sugar

I got you breaking into a sweat Got you hot, bothered, and wet You nasty boy

Nasty, naughty boy Naughty boy

Oh baby, for all it's worth I swear I'll be the first to blow your mind Now that you're ready, give it to me Just give me that hot, sweet, sexy loving

Now give me a little spanking Oh, oh, is that all you've got?

Come on now, don't play with me

Oh, give me that hot, sweet, nasty Boy, don't you make me wait Now you better give me a little taste Put your icing on my cake You nasty boy Mm

The sounding of your amazing and sensual vocals combined with the sweet-sounding jazz music in the background had him completely aroused. He played the song enough times to learned its lyrics. Then he went into the main bathroom of the house to take a shower before sex. He had to control himself not to pleasure himself while showering because he wanted to leave all to you, but it wasn't easy to wait after how excited he got with the song you made for him. He didn't even put his clothes back on, just put a towel around his waist and went into the room. You were already waiting for him, laying on the bed with the red lace bodysuit that he loved so much - just that now you turned it into a two-piece thing - a corset-bra and panties- because he accidentally ripped it off the last time you wore it due to his desperation to put himself into you. He smiled at you and you smiled back. You got up, grabbing a pillow and walked towards him. You put the pillow in front of him and as he followed you with his eyes, you got on your knees, taking off the towel that covered him. You grabbed his throbbing manhood with your mouth and started to caress it with your tongue. Soon, you used your hand to help you, sliding your hand around his erection while using your full lips to cover the head of his swollen cock as your tongue played with the tip. He bended to grab your hair and softly held it as if his hand were a scrunchie. You looked up and saw his eyes closed and his mouth making an o shape as moans came from inside of him. You loved to see him clean shaved, but there was something about his growing mustache that made you completely insane. He opened his eyes and saw yours staring at him, while you continue to pleasure him. He bent again, enough for him to lift your chin with a hand - while the other still held your hair- and engaged in a sloppy and wet kiss. He pressed his forehead against yours for a moment, before allowing you to continue sucking him. You moved your swollen lips alongside your tongue in both sides of the length of his cock and then back to centre your attention on the tip. He made you stand, as he put his hand around your neck barely pressing it and kissed you with growing passion. Getting closer to your ear, in a deep and breathy whisper he said "You wanted to try new thing, didn't you?" and you limit yourself to nod, biting your bottom lip. He stroke your lips and chin with his thumb, and delicately pushed you against the wall. He kneeled and put one of your thighs in his shoulder, asking you to grab his hand, and then put the other thigh in his empty shoulder and stood up. Your heart was racing due to a mix of excitement and fear of falling. He asked you to press your back against the wall and to put your arms in the wall as well, so he could grab your thighs. You did as he told you. Before hiding his face between your legs, he promised that he wouldn't let you fall, that you were safe because he'll never do anything that could harm you. You relax a little, but the adrenaline was at its highest level. He started to suck your clit, licking your pussy in its entirety for time to time. You, like most people, mocked him saying that he looked like a pornstar from the '70s with the mustache, but you could admit that he embodied one whenever he made love to you. If he would have been an adult film actor, he'd had to be a very popular one; not only because of his pretty face, muscles and big manhood but also because of his talented moves. The man knew how to please a woman, there's no denying that. You usually were a silent moaner, but this time you couldn't help yourself by realising some noises of enjoyment, loud enough to feel the room and you felt Henry chuckle between your legs. He didn't need to tell you that the reason he was amused by the sounds you were making was that he was proud of himself. It was a self high-five. After a while, he grabbed both of your hands for you to use as a support, as he kneeled again to leave you on the floor. You put both of your arms around his neck, engaging in a deep, breathtaking kiss. He kissed the top of your breasts, which were covered by the piece of red lace lingerie that drove him insane every time. You walked to the bed without stop kissing and then he made you lay on the bed as he got on top of you. He grabbed the box of Trojan Magnum XL condoms and put one on and then slide its cock inside of you. He started slow so you could kiss some more. Your legs surrounded his hip as he started to fasten the pace, going quicker and quicker inside of you with every move. You kissed him and pressed your hand on his hairy chest, pushing him back. You turned around, slightly bending over your head while you positioned yourself for doggy style. Once again, he was inside of you, repeating the pace of his movements. After he came, you were back with your back against the mattress as he placed his head between your legs, making you come a few times before he was ready for another round. You put your knees and elbows on the bed once more, as he looked for the lubricant. He had changed the condom and applied a good amount of warm and sloppy liquid on his cock and you. He put the head first, slowly not to hurt you. He kept adding lube to make sure it was well lubricated so it wouldn't cause you unenjoyable pain. He delicately entered you little by little. He bent a few times to kiss your back, sending shivers down your spine. The touch of his lips and mustache on your skin while having him inside you was delicious. He did as you requested him and fastened his pace, but only getting a small part of his cock inside you. When he was close to climax once again, he took it out of you, replaced the condom again for hygienic reasons, and then was back on top of you, getting in and out of your wet pussy, while you grabbed his face and kissed him. You made him lay on the bed, as you rode him until he released and then kissed and put your head on his chest. While your fingers played with the hair on his chest, you heard his breath slow down as he felt asleep and soon you did the same feeling so relax by the movement of his sleepy body and the sound of his breathing.

Disclaimer: The song that reader wrote actually exists and belongs to Christina Aguilera. Is from the album Back to Basics and it’s called Nasty Naughty Boy, in case you want to listen to it (you should, it’s amazing).

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #demivampirew

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1127

1. What is one thing you will never do again? Watch The Hours. Film itself is great, but is way too triggering.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? I’d take happiness easily. It’s not bad for the most part to make mistakes and I’d rather be too clumsy than be altogether miserable.

3. What happened the last time you cried? It was the day of what would’ve been our anniversary and at that moment I was alone in my car at a parking lot (waiting for the office to open) on a gloomy day. I just had to cry and let my feelings out for like 5 minutes to accept everything but I was immediately fine afterwards, haha. Grief can be funny.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? My first job interview. It was my first adult thing ever. They never got back to me - very professional of them - but I was still grateful for the experience nonetheless.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? That I was in a whole ass relationship for technically 6 1/2 years. They probably have an inkling by now, but only about me being in a relationship. I’m sure they would be very surprised if they ever found out how long it had actually gone for.

6. What’s your worst habit? I pick at my toenails when I’m nervous or stressed. I tend to do this when I’m doing a work task that I particularly dread, and sometimes I’ll end up being fixated on the habit for like 10 minutes straight and not get anything done.

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Time travel, just to take quick trips to multiple decades and see how life was like during those times.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? Matty from 13 Going on 30 would be one of them. Albert Finney’s character in Two for the Road is also charming as fuck.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? If money wasn’t an issue, probably somewhere cozy in like Switzerland or Canada.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? Not necessarily a pet peeve but I get extremely uncomfortable when someone hands me a gift then they insult the gift while in front of me, saying it’s not a great gift or that I probably don’t need it, etc. Filipinos also have this habit of saying something along the lines of, “You earn way more than me so you’d probably think this gift sucks” like how do you want me to react :(((((( I love receiving gifts and the idea of being thought about already means a lot to me, so it just makes me wince a little bit when I hear statements like the above.

11. Who knows you the best? Gabie, probably. I’ve changed a lot since then, though.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? Clubs were mandatory extracurricular activities in my high school; in my time, I joined the table tennis and yearbook clubs.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Idk, we didn’t have those in school. I probably would have been honored to get a journalism-themed one though; something like Most Likely To Write for NYT or Most Likely to Win a Pulitzer or something like that. Obviously that’s changed now and I’ve long let go of journalism as a passion.

14. What’s the last book you really loved? I haven’t read in a long, long while.

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? I don’t watch a lot of TV so I’m not the most credible decision-making body for this lol, but out of all the shows I’ve watched the best one would easily be Breaking Bad.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? 16. Life was insanely easygoing back then and everything fell into place for me at the time.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Know when it’s enough. Be kind to yourself.

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Have kids.

19. Apologize or ask permission? I don’t understand the relationship between the two.

20. Unlimited love or money? I would love to never have to worry about finances ever again.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Take a week-long leave for work, spend all my money, bond with my dogs, throw a party for my closest friends, and honestly, make my peace with her.

22. What’s your most listened to song? Spotify doesn’t show that feature, but I bet it’s from Paramore or Hayley anyway. It would be impossible to know my most-listened to song of all time, like if we took into account my Spotify, iTunes, etc.

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? I need a beach vacation badly, but a European vacation would be a new and different experience. I’d take the latter.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Playing the piano.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Depends on how much I won lmao. I’d probably retire this early if the money was big enough since I’m pretty stingy anyway. But generally, I would like to pay off whatever bills my parents are currently paying for, get back the car that we had to sell because of the pandemic, and maybe go for a solo vacation or five heheh.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? Kylie Jenner, for a day. Just so I can briefly have a taste of how being that rich is like.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? Nope.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? Staying with Gab despite the red flags that glared for four whole years is one of them. Angela will also never let go of that one time I tried some kind of fruit juice in high school and I described it as ‘packs a punch.’ It’s understood as a super Westernized idiom where I live and literally no one uses it in a casual sentence, so it was a hit with her and now we use ‘packs a punch’ whenever we want to describe something awesome or surprising.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Mayonnaise and I will die on this mayonnaise-coated hill.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Ideally? At this point? Like 20. I would love for that to be the case on the first Friday we can consider the Philippines COVID-free.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? Sorry for yet another incoming Paramore reference but they literally have a lyric that goes, “22 is like, the worst idea that I have ever had.” Before turning 22 I used to think it was a weird line, like how could 22 possibly be unenjoyable? Now I’m 22 in a pandemic going through a rough breakup and I can’t even see my friends nor work in my first workplace ever.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If they wanted only cats as pets. I can deal with a dog and a cat, I guess; but cats were never fond of me so I feel like I’d struggle with this situation lol.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Mr. Peanutbutterrrrrrr. Has a lot of love to give, doesn’t always use it on the right people. Also lives on pleasing others.

34. Do you believe in karma? Just to a tiny extent, in how I would want people’s awful actions to come bite them in the ass one day. It’s not a philosophy that controls my life and the things I do whatsoever.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? My absolute favorite was Hi-5, with the original cast. As I got older my interests shifted to Spongebob and The Fairly OddParents.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? I don’t think it’s weird, but I don’t hear thighs too often when people list down their favorite physical traits. It’s certainly one of mine.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? A Friends-themed one, obviously. This reminds me of the Jeopardy night I had with some friends a few nights ago! That was so much fun, and Andi makes really great and fun questions hahaha.

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? I don’t think I am about anything.

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? Maybe that night my grandpa went into a drunk rampage. I was 9, right in his line of sight, frozen and scared shitless, and I didn’t know who he was going to strike next.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? I never really think about this. If someone’s a non-politician then there must be a reason they aren’t, lol.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? Little Things by One Direction is very cheesy and it’s one of my least favorite songs of theirs, but I still have it memorized out of habit.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? My great-grandpa died all the way back in the 70s, even before some of my aunts and uncles could meet him. It would be cool to spend time with him.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? Yeah, absolutely. I have the stomach for it lol, so I always monitor what’s happening locally and globally. Skipping the news from time to time is fine because I get how anxiety-inducing and depressing some events can be, but there’s a huge difference between ignoring the news for your mental health and being indifferent altogether. I’d immediately judge anyone who’s the latter, and would assume you are incredibly privileged.

44. What is the best present you could ever receive? My money refunded -____________- I had food delivered to my director, Bea’s house as a surprise earlier today, but apparently I ran into a scammer driver and the fucker drove away with the meal I had bought for Bea. I reported the driver and the situation, and thankfully the customer service rep of the food delivery app quickly responded and said they’d return the full amount I paid for; but I still haven’t received it.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? No. Mobile data exists for a reason.

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Check out my voice.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? I’d love to surprise Angela with an overseas trip that would last for like a month. Traveling is one thing we have yet to do as best friends.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? Nothing particular, but it makes me happy when people call me strong and when they validate the shit I’ve gone through over the years.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? I would take the giant house. When it comes to my own place, I would want to have a lot of space to roam around.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? Nothing is coming to mind.

#surveys #survey

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unibrowzz · 4 years ago

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Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VII (FINALE)- The 2010s

And we’re on the home stretch! Just 10 songs left now.

The 2010s stands as the only decade I watched live and the only decade I haven’t yet rewatched, mainly because I have no interest to. I’ve already seen the contest anyway, if a song didn’t stick with me then, it probably won’t now.

Also prepare for some hotter than usual takes, mostly down to the 10s contests being the most well known due to recency bias. I can say whatever the Hell I want about older contests and what songs I despise from there, but one non-positive comment about Euphoria and suddenly about five butthurt anons appear in my inbox telling me why I’m wrong.

But without further ado, let’s finish these off!

2010: Satellite

Country: Germany

Artist: Lena Meyer-Landrut

Language: English

Thoughts: I used to defend this song a lot, for some reason. I used to get super defensive when people dismissed it as a cheap lazy pop song that shouldn’t have won over (insert song here, but let’s be real here, 99% of the time it’s Turkey's equally cheap lazy emo rock song) and that it robbed so many better entries, blah blah, you know the drill. And I think it’s because it was the first winner I saw as I started properly watching in 2010, so I didn’t want to shit all over the winner that introduced me to the contest. Or maybe it’s that it makes me really nostalgic, or something to that effect. But, dear God, why did I? It’s so… not worth it. I appreciate it for being a much less instrumental-heavy winner, with its skippy, snappy beat and bouncing vocals which sound closer to plain talking than actual singing, but… How many times were the lyrics ran through GoogleTranslate before they were finalised? What’s with the janky, overexaggerated fake-English accent? Why does the singer look embarrassed to be a part of this? Why was this written? And how the FUCK did it win? It’s so weird and awkward to listen to. It’s the song equivalent of trying to make small talk with that one classmate you never talk to because they’re shy and boring. It’s like listening to an old person laugh half-heartedly at their not-that-funny old person joke. It’s canned laughter in a mediocre sitcom. It’s just an awkward, painful to listen to song that’s made all the more painful by the fact that Germany has sent much better songs that easily could have replaced this as their one post-reunification winner.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Spain- Daniel Diges- “Algo Pequeñito”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 60th

2011: Running Scared

Country: Azerbaijan

Artist: Ell and Niki

Language: English

Thoughts: Look, this one isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Doesn’t mean it’s good, or that I find it particularly good, but the worst winner of all time? Goodness no, it doesn't even come remotely close. What we have here is a mildly pleasant ballad duet song with a distinctive sad-boyband vibe. Like you can definitely hear the “X-Factor winner’s first cover song” energy just radiating off it from the first few lines. I suppose you could argue that that does make it feel a bit clinical and like it’s trying too hard to be a big hit, but come on, it’s not like this is the first winner like that. The singing is alright; better than half the singing that won in the 2000s anyway, and the male singer especially has a nice voice. The lyrics aren’t exactly poetry, sure, but again, other winners have terrible lyrics as well and don’t receive nearly as much hate as this one does. And… that’s it. Why all the hate? No idea, but I can only assume the people who declare this song to be the worst winner ever haven’t heard anything that won before 2010.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Denmark- A Friend in London- “New Tomorrow”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 42nd

2012: Euphoria

Country: Sweden

Artist: Loreen

Language: English

Thoughts: Ugh. Listen. This is not a bad song. It’s decent, middle of the table, listenable, marketable, well sung, well performed, well shot. I must stress, this is not a bad song. But the best Eurovision song of all time? Absolutely not. Euphoria is one of the few winners I would describe as “overrated”, and that isn’t a term I use lightly (since it’s overused as Hell), because frankly, I don’t see what people see in this song. Hell, I forgot it completely until the 2012 voting, and further still until mid 2013 when a friend said he liked it. This song left that little of an impression on me that I completely forgot everything about it for a solid year. And considering how many fans regard this to be one of the best, if not the best song to ever come out of the contest... that baffles me, I just can’t wrap my head around why so many people hold this song up on a pedestal and worship it like it was dropped from the hands of God himself. And I'm not sure if it's because this just isn't a genre I care about, or if it's because this was WAY back when I was a casual fan who didn't follow any of the songs or artists so didn't know who'd be the favourite going in like I do now, and therefore didn’t know to keep an ear out for this one. Or maybe you have to be piss drunk and at a nightclub to really feel the impact of this song. This song triggers absolutely no response from me other than “Oh, a Eurovision song”. I feel no emotion towards it aside from complete indifference. I can’t deny that this song made an impact, it just… didn’t make an impact on me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Spain- Pastora Soler- “Quedate Conmigo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 40th

2013: Only Teardrops

Country: Denmark

Artist: Emmelie de Forest

Language: English

Thoughts: Let me ask you a question: What do you get when you sandwich an otherwise decent pop song between two of the most iconic and recognizable winners of the decade? You get this. Only Teardrops is a weird, weird winner to me. On one hand, the fandom acts like it might as well not exist, you go straight from Euphoria to Rise Like a Phoenix, who cares about that filler song which came between them. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who really like it, yet all of them are either very casual fans or not fans at all. So this makes me feel like this song’s main weakness is that it’s too mainstream, at least for Eurovision fans. What are my thoughts? It depends. For one, I enjoy this song a LOT more than Euphoria; I always have done and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit that. I find this song has a lot more personal appeal, particularly a much bigger finale in my opinion, and being surrounded by people who like this song has admittedly kept me fond of it. BUT, I still wouldn’t necessarily call it a favourite of mine. Maybe a favourite of the 2010s, but not overall. At the end of the day, it’s a little too generic, a little too normal, a little too like every other song you’d hear on the radio. It’s not really a song I find myself coming back to again and again and loving every time, it’s the song I stick on to shut my family up when they want to listen to Eurovision music and I’m too shy to show them the songs I actually really like. It's just a decent song that's unfortunate enough to be stuck in between two more iconic winners, doomed to be little more than the answer in a pub quiz question. And even though I do prefer this one to some of those icons, and don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just enjoyable yet kind of bland.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Iceland

If no, what is? Iceland- Eyþór Gunnlaugsson- “Ég á Líf”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 16th

2014: Rise Like a Phoenix

Country: Austria

Artist: Conchita Wurst

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the man who made the entire continent of Europe collectively forget what a drag queen is. What a shitshow that night was. But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to rate/say some things about the song, and honestly? This is arguably the most vocally impressive winner from the 2010s. Seriously, there’s nothing I can fault here; this guy’s got some serious pipes. Every time I go back to it I just end up blown away by how powerful and raw this song is. And obviously good vocals alone can’t carry a song forever, otherwise I would’ve had nicer things to say about the early 70s and mid 90s, but with this song the vocals go hand-in-hand with the gimmick. Without the powerful vocals this would just be a knockoff Bond theme sung by a drag queen with a beard, like it’d just be another sensationalist gimmick song to throw onto the pile with all the other gimmick songs. But with the good singing, this has the distinction that it’s a gimmick entry that still had every right to win because the singer was actually competent. Also unlike the 70s winners this one actually has strong emotions tied to it rather than it just being a bunch of pretty French words, so there’s that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or the Netherlands tbh

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 17th

2015: Heroes

Country: Sweden

Artist: Måns Zelmerlöw

Language: English

Thoughts: Fun fact: I was so bitter this won that I stormed off before the voting was done and cried in my room over it. I hated everything about this song: I hated how Sweden won just three years after their last win, I hated how the staging was just BEGGING people to vote for it, and I ESPECIALLY hated how it beat out the televote favourite because the juries were too busy wanking off to this one to care about anything else. I just despised everything about this song, and it turned me into an obnoxious jury-hater for a solid year. And yes, I'm extremely embarrassed of all that because honestly this song is fantastic. I would go as far to say it's my favourite Swedish winner, maybe not one of my favourite Swedish entries but definitely my favourite winner of theirs. Everything about this is just so appealing to me, from the brooding intro and vocals, to the lyrics, to the staging, my GOD the staging! It’s one of the best performances of the contest to date; It's impressive without being tacky or try-hard, he interacts with his background, and that little doodle boy character he’s created is adorable. I just love this performance, it’s so mesmerising.

Was this my personal winner for this year? Not then, is now

If no, what was? Then? Serbia- Bojana Stamenov- “Beauty Never Lies”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 11th

2016: 1944

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Jamala

Language: English, some Crimean words

Thoughts: I mean… it’s good until she starts singing. Now I am by all means not an advocate for bringing back the old language rule, but songs like this sure as Hell make me one. This should have been left entirely in Crimean. Simple as that. The English lyrics are bloody awful, no way to sugarcoat it, and absolutely annihilate the potential this song is otherwise seething with, because the instrumental to this song is fantastic and the chorus and climax give me goosebumps. The performance at the contest was chilling as well; a perfect blend of both simple yet flashy staging to set up a really uneasy atmosphere that compliments the song perfectly but, God, the lyrics are bad, man, especially for such a serious song about a personal topic. That said, it's still the only song in the 2016 top 3 that seemed winner-worthy, unlike Australia's obvious Jurybait and Russia's obvious Telebait. So… it has that.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? France- Amir Haddad- “J’ai Cherché”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 57th

2017: Amar Pelos Dois

Country: Portugal

Artist: Salvador Sobral

Language: Portuguese (Translation: “Both of us”)

Thoughts: I still question why it took Portugal until 20-fucking-17 to even reach the top five, but that's a rant for another day. Not that this is a rant, far from it. Anybody who knows me knows that I love this song after all, and that it’s one of the few winners I remain rather defensive of, though that’s mostly down to the amount of hate this song and its singer receive. I will defend Sal and his hot takes on pop music until I die. Now I’ll admit, this song surprised me in more ways than one. Namely by actually winning the televote; given how this song has split opinions clean down the board as to whether it’s spine-tinglingly beautiful or soul-crushingly boring, I was expecting it to come mid-table in the televote whilst some other country swiped first. Yet somehow it managed to stomp the televote just as hard as it stomped the jury vote. I guess I wasn’t the only person this struck a chord with after all. Also, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is a perfect dance song? Like it’s great for ballroom, or contemporary. It’s so dreamy and flowy, and I usually HATE dreamy flowy songs, yet this one just resonates with me for some reason and I’m not sure why.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 4th

2018: Toy

Country: Israel

Artist: Netta Barzilai

Language: English, some chicken noises, cringe

Thoughts: And here we have another case for bringing back the language rule, because if this song had a Hebrew version I would 100% listen to it more often. When I heard Israel was sending an, ahem, "feminist anthem" about the #MeToo trend on twitter, my first reaction was "ew". When I heard it was the favourite to win, my reaction was also "ew". And when I heard the song for the first time? "Hm, not as bad as I thought." And also "ew". This song is just embarrassing. I’m embarrassed listening to it, I’m embarrassed watching it, and I’m embarrassed when someone mentions it when I’m trying to convince them Eurovision actually has good music. You can just tell from the first few lines that it was written by middle aged men trying to shill themselves out to gullible young women who think listening to a song by some Israeli DJ “empowers” them. And let’s be honest here: “empowering” is just media speak for “shit”. The only thing stopping me from putting it at the VERY bottom is the instrumental and performance because without the cringy lyrics you’re left with a pretty good club song, and I swear to God Netta Barzilai could sell herself sneezing for 3 minutes. If “Toy” had been entirely in Hebrew I would’ve given it a pass, and maybe a cheeky vote or two. But, alas, that was not to be.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Italy- Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro- “Non mi Avete fatto Niente”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 64th

2019: Arcade

Country: The Netherlands

Artist: Duncan Laurence

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, in my 9 or so years watching the contest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt genuinely ecstatic watching a song win. Most of the time I either feel neutral (most of them) or a more general, content kind of happy (2014 and 2017). Like I’ve never let out a shout of joy and slid on my knees across my living room floor in sheer, blind happiness. But that’s what I did with “Arcade”. I’m not really sure why that is because, I must confess, it wasn’t my personal winner of the night, and, looking back, I preferred other songs, but… God, I just can’t explain how overwhelmingly happy I was when this song won. I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if I was rooting for this deep down (or if it’s because it was between this song or fuckin’ Sweden again). But that’s by the by. How’s the song? Honestly? Really good. One of my favourites of this decade, if I’m honest. It’s the kind of song that’s grown on me a lot since the night of the contest; even though it wasn’t my favourite song from 2019, I’m not mad at all at it winning.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Honestly I had about 10

If no, what is? I could list them if you want

Personal ranking (out of 67): 6th

#AND IT IS DONE #eurovision #mod's winner reviews #esc winners #finally glad to get these done lmao these were so tedious to format

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eyes-like-a-pisces · 5 years ago

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Rules: Answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.🧜‍♀️

Questions from my astrological twin: @maiden-song 💕

1. if you could choose to glimpse the afterlife, would you?

Yes, I would. I think a lot about It.

2. under what circumstances do you think you past life was lived?

I could have had many past lifes. I think I was a native american, cause I've always felt bonded to their tradicion and same with China, cause when I hear the sound of Erhu - traditional chinese instrument, something wakes up in me. I've also always wanted to see Sweden & Finland, so maybe I was doing something there... I mean, I could do anything. I see myself in biblical times, as well as middle ages. I could be a renaissance artist, as well as dying of hunger during victorian era, or something, and that's probably why I'm still careful with money, haha. For my latest one, I think I could have been a hippie in the 60/70s and had some drug use experience, cause when I was a child I used have dreams about taking drugs, even if I didn't know anything about It. I also had some experience with psychics (and "psychics"), my mom had a past life regression and she told me she saw me few times... I don't take anything for granded, but reincarnation is one of my favourite theories.

3. what three skills would you instantly master if you had the choice?

Playing every instrument, speaking every language, singing beautifully

4. would your rather no passion or no pain?

No pain. Everything is needed in life, but you know, enough is enough.

5. if you had a chance to leave this world and go to another one, would you take it?

Depends of the world and who I would meet there. Even if this world can be cruel and disappointing at times, I still have some love for him and humanity.

6. if you could smell like anything in the world, what would it be?

Like the first day of spring, when you go outside and the air smells different. Or a storm.

7. do you feel like common interests or philosophical comparability are not important?

They are very important. I can't imagine a relationship without similar interests, views. You either get bored or fight constantly. I think that the whole point of searching a partner is trying to find things you got in common. The more similar you are, the more understood you feel and more you are attracted to them. That's my experience at least. That's a very basic example, but as you may noticed, I'm very much into music and I was dating a guy, who wasn't into music that much at all. I thought It doesn't matter at first, but then I started feeling like I'm missing my favourite way to connect with other person. Once I met a guy who loved music as much as I do, I'm sorry to admit It, but my partner became unattractive to me.

Similar interests and views are needed at the beginning, to bond with somebody, and later, to simply enjoy spending time together (thanks Captain Obvious). I mean... chemistry and good will are not enough for a relationship to last. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be identical and agree on everything - some differences can be inspiring, balance your relationship and teach you something new. It's also ok and even needed, to have some separate hobbies, things that you like to do on your own. There are also other important things, like, if you equally care about each other and if you are on the same page in general, but I can't imagine not agreeing in the key points and things that are the most important to you. And the only person who can decide what is the most important is the person who is in that relationship, no matter if It's about interests, philosophy or religion. But beside a romantic relationship, I think It's good to be surrounded by different people and listen what they got to say.

8. if there was one mystery you alone could learn the answer too, what would it be?

The mystery of life in general. Why we are here, is there any destiny, how we are connected, how this universe works, what happens after death...

9. in your opinion, is there anything more important than love?

No :) (I'm not talking about putting your relationship before other things. I'm talking about love as a big force and meaning of this universe)

10. describe a new planet you would live on, if you could.

I want things to be diverse, monumental... Maybe another moon, why not. As a concept of the world, I wish there would be peace :) everybody has their safe place to live, will to live, passion, purpose, someone to love and who loves them back. Amen.

Questions from @mybloodiedvalentine 💕👯

1. What is an unpopular opinion you hold you about which you feel strongly and with which you seem to notice a lot of people disagree?

Nothing specific comes to my mind at the moment (that I haven't mentioned before). I sure have some, but what's unpopular opinion in general and what's unpopular opinion on tumblr, are two different things. Maybe, that the "tumblr positivity" is not really helpful. Like: "in case you need to hear this: you are smart, you are loved... ". How do you know that? Those are just empty words. But It's better to spread positivity than negativity, of course.

2. What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever told you that you can recall?

Oh, I had a few situations like that... This is so lovely, when a stranger wants to just be genuinely nice, not just catcalling you...For example, when I was with my 3 girlfriends at the club and 2 ladies in their 40s where like: "excuse me, we just wanted to say that we can't stop starring at you all, cause you are the priettiest girls in the club." And we were like: aww, omg, you are beautiful too, come dance with us. And we were all dancing in our witches circle ignoring all sweaty men around us, haha. Or when my mom went to the the same hair saloon as me and asked hair dresser if she remembers me and she said that she does and that I'm nice and intelectual. I'm her faithful client now ;_; (Sorry for sucking my own dick, but It was nice to remind myself about these situations).

3. Has a piece of art or music ever made you cry? If so, do you remember a specific moment?

Crying to music is my passion. The latest intense moment was few days ago. I was loading a dishwasher at night and I played some music and then "lover you should've come over" by Jeff Buckley came on and sudden wave of lonelliness hit me so hard, that I just had to put down the plate, hide my face in my hands and weep ✌

4. What’s your favourite piece of clothing?

Idk, maybe my Penny Lane coat :)

5. What’s a random childhood memory that fills you with a deep sense of comforting nostalgia?

Sledding with kids during a very cold winter in my home town, until It got dark and snow looked like sprinkled with glitter and having my freezed feet warmed up with a hair dryer, when I came back home, haha.

6. What is/was your favourite thing about your mom? If not your mom, your dad? Or best friend?

My favourite thing about my mom is that she's tolerant and open minded. I didn't have to lie to her or pretend I'm someone I'm not because of that. My favourite thing about my dad is that he actually cared about being a parent, even tho my parents divorced. I respect that he has unwavering morals and huge knowledge about a world - biology, astronomy, music, art...- subject doesn't matter- but he is very modest about It.

7. What’s something you learned on your own of which you’re proud?

Playing guitar

8. When was a moment in your life you remember laughing the hardest?

I was playing cards since I was a kid. After few years, when I was about 13 y. o. I got the first poker, a royal flush. When I saw my cards, I'm not sure why, I just coudn't believe my luck, I started laughing so hard I almost died.

9. What do you like to do when you’re having a hard time mentally that invariably calms you down?

Really depends of the kind of situation and if It's triggered by something or just a longer period of time feeling in a certain way. The is no a magic trick, but some things might be helpful. When It's concrete situation, at first, when the feelings are really intense, then I just can't calm down. Every try to do so, has a reverse effect. Like, I CAN'T THE FUCK CALM DOWN and It makes me even more angry. Brain needs about 20 min to chill, if It's not triggered, so It's better to be left alone and just go mad a little until brain will have enough haha. Have a good cry, listen to some music, have a lonely walk, write my feelings down etc.

I like to listen to Teal Swan on youtube. She's a spiritual teacher. I know, It might not sound encouragingly, but she actually seems very down to earth. She has a video about like, every emotion and every problem ever. She's very good in naming feelings, rationalizing them and It makes you feel more understood. And It calms me down as result. ASMR doesn't work for me, but I remember that at some point I liked to listen to sounds of the nature, like rain, waves etc + guided meditation to fall asleep.

Music always helps in general - listening, playing guitar, singing. I also like to take an oil and do a face massage. I'm really sorry if I sound like an instagram influencer 🤢, but when you feel bad for a longer time, you frown and there is a tention in your jaw, it can be really relieving. I follow instructional videos on yt.

When I have a longer period of going into downward spiral, then every way to distract my brain is good - TV shows, internet content that is not related to my life situation (although, sometimes It's good to distance yourself from social media), for example, I like criminal podcasts, cause they are occupying enough to distract a miserable brain, meeting somebody, going to a place I've never been before. + any kind of shedule, reason to leave the house, any goal, anything positive to look forward to and having even the simplest things done, is a blessing (even if sometimes It's the last thing I wanna do). I also tend to be much sadder in the evening, so I just go to sleep. When nothing works, then It's time for the professional help.

10. Do you have a favourite holiday memory?

Discovering Cocteau Twins.

Best regards if u actually read all that chatter, but those questions were so interesting, that I couldn't limit myself to one sentence answer (in most cases).

My questions are:

1. Who or what was the most influential for your music taste?

2. If you could time travel, where and when would you like to go first?

3. If you could be someone from an opposite gender for a day, how would you like to look like and what would you do?

4. Do you have a style icon/inspiration? Or a favourite designer? Desribe your dream clothing style

5. What's the song by a band/artist from your country that you could recommend? (From your hometown or state eventually)

6. What is the most rebellious thing you've ever done?

7. Has ever something in your life happened, that you coudn't explain with logic?

8. What 5 objects someone could use to summon you?

9. What is your favourite name from your culture's language? And outside your culture's language?

10. What's a song you normally wouldn't admit you like or different from music that you usually listen, but still enjoy?

I tag: @winterdryad @bowiepop @nightmare @confusion-in-the-sea-of-sorrow @l0w-budget @numberoneblind @mirandasinclairs @mysticbride @leperwitch @comeacrossthedesertnoshoeson @hexafu @mielmelancolie @arcane-delight

#don't reblog this or any of my personal posts please #and thank you

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charredbrie · 5 years ago

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Kurobas Valentine’s Day Event 2020 Day 4: NijiAka

Oh gosh, I’ve finally finished this after a looooong time. And because it’s Valentines, various pairings (MuraHimu, MidoTaka, AoKise, and KagaKuro) appear on this. And it’s time for this pair to make a debut at least for me because the guy who plays Nijimura on the stageplay is my Kubota Hidetoshi. :P Once again, special thanks to @vanilla-daydreams and @theuglycrybaby for this wonderful event.

Day 4 Prompt: Love Song/I wish you were here.

Title: Valentines’ Surprise

Summary: Akashi has finally realized that greater things come to those who wait.

Rating: T

Words: 4, 009

Also on Ao3

Akashi Seijurou is currently overlooking his team’s practice. Because of their loss, he and the coach have decided to pump up their training regime to get back what’s rightfully theirs for the next Winter Cup.

It has been two weeks since he has woken up from his own body and since Seirin has beaten them. For the excruciating weeks following his comeback, the Akashi Seijurou has been longing. Since he emerges, his first thought after losing is to badly talk to Nijimura-san. He has been longing to see or even talk to his previous captain. He wants to apologize for everything as well as to tell him something important. Something that he couldn’t say or even show before because his other self has gotten so obsessed with winning and being absolute to the point that he has pushed everyone away.

He has been lucky that his previous team, his first real friends, are able to accept him again after all his wrongdoings in the past when they all meet up for Kuroko’s birthday. No words have been said, just a welcoming feeling that he still belongs with them. He feels that he doesn’t deserve it but nonetheless reaches out their hands again because he seriously doesn’t want to lose them again this time. And now, looking at his current teammates, he promises himself that he won’t do the same mistake again.

-x-

Practice ends in an uneventful way and Seijurou just wants to retire to his room for the night. Although he has been thinking a lot after he comes back but today, he is feeling so pensive and he doesn’t know why. He creases his forehead as he feels an incoming headache. Thinking that he has enough practice for today, he shouts some more last-minute orders for the other first years before he makes his way to the locker room. However, when he arrives there, he is greeted by the usual occurrence with the three second years starting with Nebuya flexing his muscles and he feels like Hayama is a walking bungee jumper with a megaphone attached. Although it is a bit different from Mibuchi. These past few days, Mibuchi finds a fascination for Western slow rock love songs ranging from the 70s-90s. Almost every day, he will give him his most recommended song, he’ll listen to it then he’ll give his input the next day. He actually indulges his teammates with their quirks and whims to get closer and to get to know them better like what he has done with the Kisekis before to deepen the bond and trust among themselves.

“Sei-chan~,” Mibuchi greets him as well as the other two. He nods at them as he goes in front of his locker to change.

“Hey, Akashi, Reo-nee says he wants to go to the convenience store and Ei-chan and I are gonna tag along. Come with us!” Hayama asks him excitedly. He thinks for a bit; he doesn’t have much homework today and he has been meaning to get the Basketball Monthly for this month.

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“Ara, Sei-chan you make me happy~” He sees Mibuchi and Hayama from the corner of his eye do a high five.

A small smile tug on his lips thinking that it’s okay to have fun with these guys.

Their trip to the convenience store somewhat reminds him of what they used to do back in middle school. It is a refreshing feeling. Hayama strongly reminds him of Kise as a ball of energy. Mibuchi is like Midorima who is engaging him in a sensible conversation. With Nebuya, he’s like Kuroko in a way that he will just input on the conversation from time to time less the gross burping. He must admit that he misses Murasakibara’s constant munching with crumbs leaving a trail from point a to point b as well as Aomine’s contagious smile and sometimes, stupidity. He is thinking that maybe, he should hang out with them more after school. They also end up eating dinner at a nearby restaurant near the convenience store because Nebuya wants to eat more meat.

And thus, when they reach their boarding, Mibuchi stops him and gives him his song for the day. He accepts it with a small smile and promises him that he’ll give him his review tomorrow. They bid their goodbyes as he retires to his room. He does his routine: bath, do his homework while listening to classical music, do some stretching before going to bed and the newly added one, check out Mibuchi’s recommended song for the day. He unfolds the paper and looks at the title with Mibuchi’s neat handwriting.

First Time by Robin Beck

Seijurou then opens his laptop and starts searching the song and the lyrics. As he is listening, he thinks that so far this is the best one yet. Mibuchi is giving him songs varying from I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis, Love Will Lead You Back by Taylor Dayne to Morning Train by Sheena Easton. He thinks that all of them are good songs but the first one is too cliché, the second one is too painful while the last one is for adulting...kind of.

But this song, First Time by Robin Beck triggers something in him. The fine use of metaphor when you experience your first love is so beautiful as well as the feelings and hesitations that comes with it when you finally have the love you desire. The melody is something upbeat as slow rock music is meant to be and the exquisite timing fits the lyrics properly.

Probably because he’s on a pensive move all day and him, Akashi Seijurou is never really a fan of love songs. Not at all, thank you very much. It’s just so out of his character but it’s quite alright for him because he is actually learning something from it as well as having some bonding moment with Mibuchi. He especially likes these lines:

So mysterious yet so incredibly real

It's an uncharted sea, it's an unopened door

But you gotta reach out and you gotta explore

Even though you're not sure till the moment arrives

There he is and you know you're in love

And it reminds him of Nijimura-san. The guy that he never has a chance to express how he really feels. He is a little bit too late. Nijimura-san has already left when he realized everything. Also, it is one of the reasons why his split personality has gotten worst to the point of emerging so soon. He lost his support system and he got pressured for leading the team to victory after victory. He has realized it too late that it was and it still is Nijimura-san who can keep him in line after all this time.

He repeats the song again as he digs deeper into the metaphors when his phone continuously vibrates, signaling that he has an incoming call. He pauses the music as he reaches for his phone and looks at the caller before answering. His eyes widen for a brief moment because the one calling him is Murasakibara and he is definitely not expecting a call from him by this time just because the big baby is usually asleep as early as 1930 and it’s already past 2300 now.

Curiously, he answers his phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Aka-chin. Can you come to Tokyo this weekend? I want to see you. Also, Mido-chin, Mine-chin, Kuro-chin, Kise-chin and Sa-chin are coming too.” Seijurou smiles as he heard the usual childish voice of Murasakibara. After all, even though he is the youngest of the team, he and Nijimura-san always baby him just so he would listen to them when they tell him to do something. He will always have a soft spot for their team’s big baby, after all.

“What is coming this weekend? It’s not like you to actually exert an effort to come to Tokyo from Akita.”

He hears some speaking noise from the other line and he can make up that Murasakibara is talking to Himuro based on a Muro-chin call and Atsushi coming from the pretty boy. “Eh? I don’t know what you’re talking about Aka-chin but come. Everyone is coming so you should too.”

It’s funny that almost everyone he knows is mostly inviting him to something today. He just doesn’t expect one from Murasakibara though.

“Okay, I will come. Where are we meeting up?”

“Do you still remember that court that we always play at near Teiko?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, there. See you, Aka-chin. Bye.”

He sets down his phone on the desk as he wonders what has Murasakibara has eaten for him to organize this meet-up. It’s normal if it’s Momoi who calls him tonight because she usually arranges the meet up for everyone. He just continues the song and makes up his mind that dwelling with Murasakibara’s peculiar behavior is not worth it for he trusts the gentle baby giant.

-x-

Saturday comes and he is anticipating this day. When Mibuchi caught wind of his plan, he insists that he comes with him because he wants to see the Kisekis too especially Kise. He asks Murasakibara if he can tag Mibuchi along and replies okay since he’s bringing Himuro Tatsuya with him too. And now, they are currently taking a bus going to Teiko. It’s not that he feels nostalgic but because of the fact that being near Teiko gives him a bittersweet memory. He tries to whisk away all the pessimistic thoughts that he is having. After all, he is meeting his friends and it’s supposed to be a joyful event for him.

When they finally arrive at the street courts, he is greeted by his friends warmly. After he says his greetings to them as well as Mibuchi, he sits down by the bench as he endearingly watches his friends interact with each other.

Midorima is holding delicately an airplane model for his lucky item for the day as Kise wants to play with it because it is his dream to be a pilot much to the chagrin of the bespectacled boy. Aomine has challenged Mibuchi to a one on one which the latter gladly accepts and says “Ikemen Target No. 1: Lock on~”. He chuckles at his teammates but said nothing when he sees Aomine cringing. Momoi is affectionately talking to Kuroko. However, the guy who has organized this meeting is still missing.

“Has anyone heard from Murasakibara?” It is Midorima who asks, obviously irritated.

“Murasakibara-kun is going to come, he just needs to do something first.” Kuroko supplies.

“I wonder why Mukkun called us here. Do you happen to know the reason, Tetsu-kun?”

“Yes, I would like to know that too.” By this time, all heads turn to him when he has spoken. “Do you know anything Kuroko?”

Kuroko looks at him with his usually impassive face as he takes out his phone and calls someone.

“Hello, Kagami-kun?...yeah...they’re coming now? Okay...you’re still with Takao-kun? Right...you can come here with Takao-kun...All right...vanilla milkshake please..thanks!”

After the conversation, Kuroko faces them again and says, “They’re coming now. Probably they have just gotten lost knowing Murasakibara-kun as well as Himuro-san. Even I don’t know why Murasakibara-kun called us.”

This time, it is Midorima who comments, “You’re awfully close with Himuro-san, Kuroko.”

“Yeah. We always hang out at Kagami-kun’s house whenever he and Murasakibara-kun will come to Tokyo.”

“Eh? Really, Kurokochi? Why is Murasakibarachi not saying anything whenever he comes to Tokyo?”

Kuroko mysteriously smiles, “I think you’ll just have to ask him when he comes.”

Aomine then comes and he one arm hugs Kise, “Cmon, Kise. Isn’t it too obvious? They’re always together. Also, they’re in the same room.”

“Eh? EEEEHHHHH???!!!!”

“Too loud, Kise. Aomine, I’m surprised by your perspective thinking only for today, in fact.” Midorima says as he pushes his glasses up with his taped fingers.

“Shut up, megane. Can’t you even say something nice? And yeah, Kise, so stop whining.”

Seijurou, for the lack of a better word, is in fact, shocked. Just because this is Murasakibara that we are talking about. He more or less gets what they are implying. It is as clear as the sky for Aomine and Kise because they’ve been at it since middle school. For Midorima with Takao, they make it painfully obvious during the Rakuzan vs. Shutoku match last Winter Cup. He knows about Kuroko and Kagami because Kuroko has admitted it to him during his birthday. He knows that Himuro is treating Murasakibara like his baby chick and he has thought that it’s platonic. He has decided now that he should learn more about human interactions. He will have to buy a book before going back to Kyoto.

As he is contemplating different books about human interactions and where to get them, Kagami and Takao arrive, with the tiger carrying two big paper bags from Maji Burger with Takao trailing after him who is holding the drinks. He sees Mibuchi joyfully approaches Takao as Midorima shots the boy a glare.

“Yo, everyone!” Kagami and Takao greet them. He nods at the two as they settle the paper bags and drinks on the bench. Takao goes behind Midorima just because Mibuchi has locked on his second target in the form of one Takao Kazunari much to the entertainment of Momoi. Kagami, on the other hand, is greeted by Kuroko with a small smile of his as he hands him his vanilla milkshake. Kise and Aomine are cuddling together much to the sourness of Midorima because he says it’s too vulgar. He, on the other hand, just accepts the food as Kagami is handing out for everyone. But still, Murasakibara sure is taking his sweet time. He is itching to call the tall purple head because although he is with every one of his friends and their other half, it feels like they are still incomplete.

And as everyone starts digging in with their food, they heard footsteps coming in their way. When he looks up, he sees Murasakibara, Himuro and a third person that is awfully familiar. He just can’t tell because the third person is wearing dark sunglasses as well as a baseball cap.

“Hi, everyone~!” Murasakibara waves at then with his usual lazy tone and three sticks of pocky hanging on his mouth.

“The hell you called us early in here and you arrived late?! I should be sleeping.........” Aomine yells indignantly follows by Midorima’s, “You have some nerve to let us wait in here, in fact.” They can see that something like a green smoke oozing out of Midorima’s body as Takao tries to pacify his boyfriend.

“Murasakibarachi, what’s up with the sudden meetup? Why are you late? Did something happen? You know we are worried that you might be lost as always..........”

“Hello, Mukkun, Himuro-san.”

“Hello, Murasakibara-kun, Himuro-san.”

“Hey, Murasakibara, Himuro-san.”

Murasakibara snaps for the constant nagging coming from Kise and Aomine as well as the sharp glare coming from Midorima. The next thing they know, his right hand is already moving to clamp a head as he just tells them.

“Shut up, guys. I’ll crush each and every one of you.”

Seijurou just sighs as he looks at his friends. His crazy friends. By then, he noticed that the mysterious guy behind Himuro is laughing at their display. It seems like he isn’t the only one who has noticed it as the rest of them has stopped talking and look at the mysterious newcomer.

Himuro chuckles at their expressions before saying, “Hey, Shuu. I think they’ve had enough of your disguise.”

It is actually Kuroko who snaps out of their first, “Nijimura-senpai?”

As soon as Kuroko calls that name, he snaps his head to look at the mysterious guy as he removes his sunglasses and cap.

“What’s up brats?” He lightly greets them with a grin.

Seijurou holds a deep breath as he properly looks at him. Nijimura-san is here in flesh and blood. He is snapped out when everyone has started to call out and surround Nijimura-san excitedly.

“Nijimura-senpai. It has been a while, in fact.”

“Nijimuraccchiiiiii!!!”

“Yo, Nijimura-senpai.”

“Hey brats, calm down!” He says as he greets every person there. The guys outside Teiko seems to be confused by the newcomer.

And hesitantly, he slowly moves forward to him and bravely faces his old captain. He lets out the breath that he has been holding as he genuinely smiles.

“Nijimura-san, it’s been a while.” The older boy just grins at him as he pats his head affectionately. “Yo, Akashi. You’ve grown huh?”

“Of course. I am a boy who is hitting puberty. I am supposed to grow.”

Nijimura-san just smirks at him. “You still don’t have any funny bone in you.”

Akashi gives him a small smile as the group settles by the benches, gives him food and from there, a series of conversations have started mostly from Kise asking a ton of questions to Nijimura-san as well as they introduce him to the others.

“Takao, Mibuchi and Kagami, this is Nijimura Shuuzo. Our old captain from Teiko.”

“Ara, what an ikemen, Sei-chan.”

“Heh, he’s the one that Shin-chan is talking about.”

“Ne, ne, Nijimurachi, how come Murasakibarachi knows you’re arriving?”

They all look at him and waits for an answer because everyone is as curious as he is.

Nijimura-san sips his soda before he answers, “Well, I’m friends with Tatsuya. We met in LA. And because he is a sly fox, he finds it entertaining to call me at Skype when it’s really late in America. Turns out he’s roommates with Murasakibara so I’ve been keeping tabs on you guys. They also picked me up at the airport earlier but they were late. I also asked him to set this meet up.”

Himuro chuckles as he retorts, “You know, I’m not quite good with directions and Atsushi usually gets lost so put us two together, of course, we’re bound to get lost.”

Everyone laughs at that but they now know the reason why Murasakibara has set this meet up. It is coming from Nijimura-san after all.

“How come you just visit us just now, Nijimurachi? How is your dad?”

Nijimura-san actually spares a glance on him before looking back at the rest and answers, “My Dad is all better now, thanks. He is actually the one who says that I can have a vacation for a bit because between school, part-time job and taking care of my Dad, I barely have time to spare for myself. Also, I need to see how far my sons have come.” He smirks at them but Seijurou kind of feels offended that Nijimura-san also sees him as his son. Out of nowhere, he abruptly stands up and excuses himself from the rest as he goes on his way to the restroom. He can hear the others calling for him but he doesn’t really want them to see him being so out of character - being fragile and offended. He needs time to compose himself, for goodness’ sake, he is Akashi Seijuro and Akashis don’t show any weaknesses.

Once he is done composing himself, he goes out of the restroom but is surprised to see Nijimura-san standing outside as if he is waiting for him. Seijuro snorts inwardly at the thought. By now, he has learned the hard way not to expect anything from other people or else he might push them more away from him.

“Yo, Akashi, why did you suddenly bailout?”

“And you, Nijimura-san, why are you here?”

“It’s suffocating there, everyone is doing a public display of attention even Midorima and his little bird and otou-san can’t handle it.” He says with a straight face which is amusing if he must say. He can’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Ah yes, I am surprised as well with everyone dating someone especially Murasakibara. I mean he’s our big baby.”

Nijimura-san just chuckles. “Yeah, I’ll kill Tatsuya if he makes our big baby cry, ne, okaa-san?”

Seijurou does something out of his character for he actually widens his eyes and gapes at him for a few seconds. Thinking that he must have heard his statement wrong, he inquires again.

“Sorry I missed what you said. Can you repeat it again?”

He can see that his face has a tint of red showing as he faces him and moves closer to him until they are only a foot away. He actually has to look up at him because he has gotten taller as he remembers him to be. But he couldn’t deny the fact that Nijimura-san has gotten more....dashing.

“W-Well, Akashi, other than seeing our sons, my priority is to talk to you about two things.”

“About what?”

“Well, first, you know Murasakibara told me everything and I want to see if you’re okay now.”

“Yes, better than I’ll ever be.”

“Good, then for the second one.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you this before but I’ve seen you getting harder to approach and getting more aloof by that time so I thought that it’s not yet time. But now....” he inhales a deep breath as he looks straight into his red-maroon eyes and continues softly, “...would you be the mother to our rainbow sons again?”

For the first time in his life, Akashi Seijurou is getting a really lame confession and he can’t help but chuckle. Nijimura-san has said it with such a straight face that he really doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry out of happiness.

“That’s a lame confession, Nijimura-san.”

“Shut up. It took me three whole years to say that.” As soon as the older boy says that, he can’t help but blush just because for three years, he has this lingering feeling of love for one Nijimura Shuuzo. The moment is already here and he remembers the lyrics of the song.

So mysterious yet so incredibly real

It's an uncharted sea, it's an unopened door

But you gotta reach out and you gotta explore

Even though you're not sure till the moment arrives

There he is and you know you're in love

He is already here and he just needs to reach out and explore.

“Yes, I’ll be the okaa-san for our rainbow sons again, otou-san.”

Omake

It has been a precious week of happiness that will forever be engraved in Seijurou’s heart once he and Shuuzo are together. The others have teased them to no end once they have learned that finally, their parents are together after three long years. Everyone gives their congratulations and some threats to their otou-san that they will fly to America if he makes their okaa-san cry. Seijurou finds it funny how Shuuzo gets rooted in his place as he listens to every threat that their sons throw on him.

However, Shuuzo is only staying for a week so when he flies back, it is a bittersweet moment for both of them. They hug each other tightly with a promise that they will be in touch at all times with each other.

And now, Valentine’s day has come and he is actually feeling a little bit lonely because his other half is on the other side of the world. He is currently on the rooftop where he has met Mayuzumi-san before, feeling the wind touching on his skin. His phone suddenly vibrates signaling a message and smiles as he sees Shuuzo’s name.

From: Nijimura Shuuzo

To: Mama Sei

Subject: Good morning

Message: Happy Valentines’ Day, okaa-san. I miss you. Don’t let our sons run wild today! I’ll call you later during my lunch break at school.

He smiles as he is typing a reply because he never knew that the Nijimura Shuuzo who always beat up Haizaki into the brink of death could be this sweet.

From: Mama Sei

To: Nijimura Shuuzo

Re: Subject: Good morning

Message: Happy Valentines’ Day too, otou-san. Wish you were here. I’ll be waiting for your call later.

Suddenly, he doesn’t feel lonely anymore.

NOTE: Hello, I'm back again with the fourth installment. This one, I've tried to grasp Akashi's and Nijimura's character as much as possible. Please excuse the long narration from Akashi because after all, he is a man who constantly thinks and Nijimura being the cheeky adorable bastard that he is. Hope you guys like this as I have really fun writing this. That song from Robin Beck is a personal favorite of mine and I feel that it just fits Akashi’s baby feeling for Nijimura. Thanks much for reading and Happy Valentines from my sons and me <3

#knbvdaychallenge2020 #nijiaka #nijimura x akashi #nijimura shuuzou #akashi seijuro #fanfic #prompt #headcanon #midotaka #kagakuro #murahimu #aokise #nijiaka being parents for their rainbow kids

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ageofevermore · 4 years ago

Note

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though.

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes!

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back!

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger

#soapy tag #pink tag #ask game

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nyrator · 4 years ago

Text

been feeling like venting, so just some random vents- then afterwards, JSRF ramblings because I just beat that game

turning 29 at the end of the week, not looking forward to it- turning 30 next year terrifies me

mother’s funeral was friday, got that out of the way relatively painlessly (other than having to spend an extra 800 dollars just to bury my sister with her, about $4500 by the end of it

gofundme raised about $2000, other donations about $1300 last I counted (probably higher), so most of it was covered

yesterday my mother’s 70 year old best friend held a party at a bar for my mother’s friends and I was obligated to go, bunch of crazy old women talking like sailors, drinking and smoking pot and laughing about all the drugs they did and all the times they got raped (yeahhhh), the only person I was comfortable around was the best friend. And then the party ends two hours late, we’re getting kicked out of the bar, and this friend falls bending down to grab a picture of my mother that she dropped, smashes her face into the floor, and collapses with a pool of blood under her face, unmoving, right in front of me. I couldn’t get the words out that I’d go and pick the photo up for her before she went to get it, and I regret it

Thankfully, she only had a concussion and a broken nose, she started responding after about a minute of just lying there, but it messed me up, I think.

I’ve been debating if I want to start drinking. I never tried before, mainly because my father was an abusive and violent alcoholic. The other reason is because I’m afraid what I’d do to myself if I had no inhibitions in place, I feel like I’d be very dangerous to myself.

neck has been stiff for two days. Probably slept on it wrong. Also keep feeling like I get different symptoms of covid every so often after exposing myself to the public (that bar was packed with old people who wouldn’t wear masks and had no concept of personal space). Today my throat’s been sore and I can barely breathe.

my boss told me I can go back to work as soon as the funeral’s finished- not sure if I should call her to remind her or wait for her to call me, she texted me last week and I told her the funeral was on friday. But my coworker was also wondering and asked me today, and I didn’t know what to tell her, since my boss doesn’t want me to let her know just yet because of how limited they’re open (three days a week, four hours a day)

relationships are very hard

I’m a terrible person who does the bare minimum to help someone who’s terribly lonely and depressed, and it’s like I’m backed into a corner in desperation from being unable to do anything about it. I’ve caused so much harm to this relationship that I wonder if there’s any way it can survive sometimes

It’s always the case, though- I can’t get myself to do more than the minimum effort it takes, and my social anxiety prevents me from ever initiating anything, which has cost me so many people that I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. And I can feel that awful, selfish bitterness inside of me, that part of my father and my sister that’s in me that I try to suppress, and I hate it.

my diet is going well enough, lost over five pounds since starting it late August. But it’s mostly because I just dislike eating, so eating in portions is easier for me. And then there are days like today, where I just don’t eat at all. Just ate one slice of bread, 30g of peanut butter, and a small cup of ice cream today, and I don’t even feel hungry. Normally I try to get some food in me, but today I’m just too disgusted to even try to make dinner.

My sleep’s also been weird, still. Been going to bed later and later again, but can’t stay asleep. Usually only sleep in bouts of 3-4 hours, then just lay awake until I’m half asleep long enough that I feel the urge to give up and get up. It’s been like that for weeks now, I can’t remember the last full night of sleep I’ve gotten.

In lighter news, finally got back to playing JSRF. Beat it the other night after 24.5 hours of game time, just have a few more challenges left (did everything from Dogenzaka Hill to the Bottom of the Sewage Facility so far), got all graffiti and souls possible before beating the final boss. Played it via emulator (which worked great except for crashing when entering the graffiti selection occasionally) with a Switch Pro Controller, felt really good. I own it and the original Xbox for it, but just am spoiled by a PC experience, I suppose.

The gameplay is great, but the level design leaves a funny taste in my mouth. Aesthetics are worse than JSR for me, while music... it’s tough to say, it’s different than JSR, but really grew on me. Sometimes it felt more like noise (I remember the Sewage tracklist not speaking to me too much at first with the more ambient-ish tracks), but it did grow on me a lot. Baby-T was my Garage theme the entire game, such a great track.

Naganuma’s music in the first game was definitely the weakest of the original’s OST (still good of course), but in Future I feel he really stepped up his game. Teknopathetic is one of my favorite songs in the new OST.

speaking of favorite music, here’s mine from each game:

Bout the City

Dragula

Magical Girl

Miller Ball Breakers

Mischievous Boy

On the Bowl (A.Fargus Mix)

Rock It On

Super Brothers

Yellow Bream

Aisle 10

Baby-T

Birthday Cake

Count Latchula

I'm Not a Model

Like It Like This Like That

Rockin' the Mic

Statement of Intent

Teknopathetic

The Scrappy

(shout outs to Girls from the one JSR CD, haven’t listened to much of the other exclusive songs to it, but Girls was good)

but yeah, my minor gripes with Future

Linear level design was a bit painful (missing a jump and not being able to backtrack a lot was bleh), and the later levels were very painful (the sewage area and the rooftops are come to mind, skyscraper to a lesser extent but I liked the skyscraper one a bit more), but at the same time, they force you to get good, which I can appreciate, so hm. Still, a checkpoint system (especially since there are save points) or unlocking shortcuts would be a bit more convenient, if not entirely necessary.

Not having a way to stop auto-grinding, even if just holding down a trigger or something- the way I latched onto rails especially in the sewage area was painful

Points challenges mainly being “find the special points rail and just spamming Y” on it was a bit odd (mainly for the Jet Techs so far, just five minutes of spamming Y...), but I like how the combos feel in this game, especially X combos to speed up. Has a rhythm that’s hard to explain but just feels natural.

Also street challenges should’ve been explained better in general, had to look up most of the special ones (and glitched out the Shibuya Terminal one many times until realizing the fix was just “hop all over each platform multiple times and hope it counts”, the second one next to the tilted platform specifically for me

Mew/Bis/Rhyth’s redesign still hurts, but you better believe she’s the character I used throughout the entire game after unlocking her

Storywise, I think I like JSR’s take better- Professor K being a neutral party and more amusing/less insulting, Onishima > Hayashi, and the character designs and artstyle I overall prefer from the first game

Felt like it tried to add things that just didn’t really work sometimes (Death Ball comes to mind, though I haven’t messed with Versus yet, the story mission was very easy compared to how they hyped it up), and the boss battles were all... strange. Tagging enemies on that roller coaster level, having to grind up to that one Hayashi boss fight over and over and over, then even moreso for the final boss... never got much use out of targeting enemies, spinning circles around them, or things like the railgrab for high jumps or skidding to slow down for graffiti, either, but maybe they have their uses.

But man, the game did feel fun to play, just frustrating to explore, I think. I still like the idea of making Skatered, even more after playing this game. Maybe I could learn modding, or something...

Oh yeah, also got all the pieces of my costume together (minus some eva foam), we’ll see how that goes. Not looking forward to assembling it, honestly, but I can’t back out now. Main regret I think is the tights, being unable to find striped ones (and the solid ones I bought being a bit too see-through, I should’ve bought a size up maybe). Still not confident enough in my makeup abilities, either.

and one last bit of light news- I finally got my Kuja figure, he’s so beautiful and detailed and I need a good place to put him

#text stuffs #nyrants #lots of venting I apologize feel free to skip to the JSRF portion if you even feel like reading

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