#7:30 Boston time??

[leavememorieshere]

So, So far Dylan and Cole both have made it aware that they remember/know about the dinner reservation that they made 15 years ago today.

Which would honestly be hard to miss but the good thing is that they both posted today!!

Although I guess they both didn’t feel like Italian today because they didn’t post a picture at a Italian restaurant/eating Italian but honestly that’s okay for me!! At least they both posted and  acknowledged it:)

Now I’m gonna go back into hiding 🥰

Bye!! Hope to post again soon (I’ll probably post again later if anything happens!!)

[onmykneesformatt]

vanilla - c.s.

requested: yes!!

synopsis: after a lengthy relationship, chris decides to try and surprise you on your 7 month anniversary. it doesn’t go how he planned, and he feels bad.

warnings: SMUT OH MY FUCK. just very aggressive (no major abuse or violence), degrading, choking, hair-pulling, overstimulation, use of safe word, aftercare, angst (happy ending tho!!), i don’t think anything else but lmk!!

a/n: i think it’s about time i write smth about chris and feed y’all. so, eat up!! (also i tried to put a picture and it literally wouldn’t let me😭)

you and chris never really thought about kinks or anything like that. you had talked about it, but the furthest you two ever went was just filming it once or twice. even then, it was still very vanilla. it was soft, enjoyable, and not very rough.

chris wanted to change that.

“so, wait. are we going somewhere?”

“we can, but that’s not the surprise.”

chris kind of smirked, knowing that his surprise was not something you expected.

“can you just tell me? it almost dark out and we’be barely done anything all day except for you making me a nice breakfast. which, i did appreciate by the way.”

“you’re welcome, and no. i’m not telling you.”

he tapped his fingertips together and chuckled lightly. he liked surprising you. he’d done it multiple times before. a bouquet on your door step, a new pair of expensive heels, even flying home early from boston and not telling you. it was his thing.

and tonight was a surprise.

-

at 9:30 pm, you started to get ready for bed. you almost did it in protest for how you and chris barely did anything today.

“oooh, what’s this? toner? replace the t with a b.”

he giggled. how dare he? after not giving you a major day like he does every other anniversary?

you kept a straight face, not breaking eye contact with your face in the mirror as you kept applying serums and creams.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, chris.”

he knew that whenver you ended a sentence with his name, you were mad.

“look, how about i meet you in the bedroom in five minutes, and make it up to you?”

you let a little smile show, remembering that your surprise to him was a peachy-orange lingerie set that hugged you in all the right places and showed all the right skin.

“fine.”

-

it started slow and sweet, like always.

but it slowly turned into more.

he went from having you on your back with him lightly laying on you to flipping you onto all fours and ripping the new lingerie set off— literally.

“chris-“

“shut up and take it. i know you can, slut.”

it felt good, the way he was pounding into you.

what didn’t feel good was him calling you the one word you didn’t like. after he started pulling your hair, it all felt real.

were you really just some toy he used? was this his breaking point where he realized he didn’t actually like or respect you like he pretended?

“chris, i don’t-“

he pushed your face into the pillow, tightening his grip on your hair.

“i said shut the fuck up. god, you really are just some slut who thinks she can do anything she wants.”

tears started welling in your eyes. they only strengthened when he started swatting your ass and digging his free hand into your back.

it hurt. like, actually hurt. but he wouldn’t listen.

he was never like this. chris? be aggressive? especially in such a vulnerable moment? never. until now.

after almost suffocating with your face in the pillow for what felt like hours, you tried to shift your face over just enough to be able to breathe. it was hard, with his grip on your hair pushing your head down into it.

eventually, you were able to properly breathe. you started breathing heavier and heavier. not from pleasure, but from overstimulation. from pain.

“i- i can’t! chris!”

he could barely hear you over his grunts and the sounds of skin slapping loudly.

“cant.. can’t what? slut can’t use her words now?”

you tried, but he was causing you so much pain that the tears were taking over. so much so, that you just broke.

what he thought were breaths and tears of pleasure started to settle in, and he finally realized. your pillow and face wet with a taste of salt, and your heart pounding so bad you started shaking.

he slowed down, moving your messy, wet hair out of your face.

“vanilla! vanilla!”

your safe word. you never needed it before, but you guys thought of it after having sex the first or second time. he always wanted you to know you were in control of what was happening too. in a sort of inside joke/mockery, he made it “vanilla”.

“hey- hey.”

he took a second to gather himself and pull out, sitting next to you on the bed. your body fell limp on the sheets.

“what’s wrong-“

“no!”

he tried to rub your shoulder, but your yelling frightened him. it should’ve. the way he caused you the pain he did was horrible.

“hey-“

“just- stop! what-“

your crying intensified, leaving him with a concerned look.

“what made you think that was okay?!”

you tried to stand, stabling yourself with a hand on the bed and the other holding a throw blanket to cover your body.

“what do you mean-“

“what do i mean? chris- you just.. started going crazy! it felt good at first, but you pulled my hair, you dug your nails into my back! you- you called me a slut!”

“i thought-“

“no you didn’t! you didn’t think at all!”

it finally hit him.

that word.

the one word he promised to never use.

“baby- i didn’t mean any of it!”

“then why’d you do it!”

tears turning into anger at his stupidity slowly dried up.

“i thought it would be a nice surprise for our anniversary! but, i’m sorry. i forgot about that word.”

that word was used against you everyday in highschool, ever since you gave some kid a handjob at the park. anytime you wore something even slightly revealing. it opened a floodgate for name-calling.

the tears started up again once silence filled the bedroom.

again, chris was never like this. you always thought he would provide the comfort you so desperately needed in your life. however, it seemed like he thought otherwise.

chris stood up, walked around the bed, and engulfed you in his arms. after realizing that he truly didn’t mean it (doesn’t make it okay, but it’s good he realized he was in the wrong), you hugged him back.

“how about we clean up. can i help you with that?”

you sniffled while stepping back from him. you dropped the blanket and wiped your eyes.

“yeah.”

you spoke softly, still trying to catch light breaths.

he grabbed your hand, leading you the bathroom.

he started the shower, grabbing your coconut body wash out of the bathroom closet along with a soft, white towel.

after getting you into the perfectly-warm shower, he started to clean you up. he didn’t let you move a muscle. he made sure you were fully clean and taken care of before even thinking about himself. he grazed your body with the loofah, making sure every inch was perfectly covered.

“i really am sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to take it that far. i think i just got too excited. i’ll never do it again, i can promise you that.”

“a warning would’ve been nice. i get why you did it. throw in a little variety, or whatever. but that word really set me off.”

“i know, i know.”

he kissed the back of your damp head, making sure you knew he meant his sorrow.

“i forgot. but, no excuse. how about now i dry you off and get you into some comfy clothes, hm?”

his tone was low but sweet. your heart stopped racing, your breath caught up, and your mind was at ease.

“okay.”

after he dried you off, still not letting you do it yourself, he grabbed your hand to lead back into the bedroom. while you were sat patiently on the edge of the bed, he rummaged through drawers and shelves looking for your favorite sleep shirt and a pair of under wear with comfortable shorts.

“this good?”

“yes. thank you.”

“stand up, please.”

you dropped your towel, letting him glide the extra large graphic tee over your head. you lifted each leg as he slid the underwear up, then doing the same with the loose shorts.

“get comfy in bed, i got some treats for you earlier.”

“really? thank you, chris.”

“anything for my girl. she deserves nothing but the best, so i try all for her.”

he kissed your forehead before you slid into the bed, pulling the thick comforter over your body and turning on your favorite show.

-

you fell asleep in eachothers arms, but not until he gave you a lengthy apology.

you know he didn’t mean it, but he needed you to remember he wouldn’t do it again.

his heartbeat under your head lulled you into a deep slumber. a soft, orange light coming from the lamp in the corner of the bedroom mixed with the tv still playing your favorite show made just enough light for you to not have any other worries that night. an open bag of the tastiest chocolate on the nightstand next to two open soda cans had filled your stomach and your heart. the soft laugh tracks in the background and fan lightly blowing on you gave you the comfort you needed.

the biggest comfort was chris’ concern.

he loves you.

you love him.

that’s all you need.

-

AHHHH ITS DONEEEEEEE!!!!! i pray that this is as good as y’all are expecting 😭😭 but seriously though, i thank y’all for the support. i’m at 300 followers already (WHAT THE FUCK) and i couldn’t have done it without you guys. love y’all!! mwah!!💋❣️🌺

taglist: @sleepysturniolo @suyqa @jessie-essie @sturnsobsessed

sorry if i missed anyone that wanted to be tagged!!

[cinnamongorll]

a fragile line - masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC Fic synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller. Tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

—————————————————-

Inspired by ‘Strangers’ by Ethel Cain, ‘Haunted’ by Taylor Swift, and ‘Francesca’ by Hozier 🫀

—————————————————-

read on ao3 - 38/38 chapters (179k words)

—————————————————

read on tumblr:

chapter 1 'Marked for death'

chapter 2 'Put it on me'

chapter 3 'Twice'

chapter 4 'Something in the way'

chapter 5 'Way down we Go'

chapter 6 'Hearing Damage'

chapter 7 'Slipped'

chapter 8 'Killer + The Sound'

chapter 9 'Carolina'

chapter 10 'Salt and the Sea'

chapter 11 'Tulsa Jesus Freak'

chapter 12 'The Night We Met'

chapter 13 'First Defeat'

chapter 14 'Who We Are'

chapter 15 'Bloodstream'

chapter 16 'Villain'

chapter 17 'NFWMB'

chapter 18 ‘Funny’

chapter 19 'Strangers'

chapter 20 'No Sound But The Wind'

chapter 21 'I'm Your Man'

chapter 22 ‘Running Up That Hill’

chapter 23 'My Tears Ricochet'

chapter 24 ‘Safe and Sound’

chapter 25 'House Song'

chapter 26 'My Body is a Cage'

chapter 27 'Happiness is a Butterfly'

chapter 28 'Illicit Affairs'

chapter 29 'The Last Time'

chapter 30 'If You Lie Down With Me'

chapter 31 'Breakers Roar'

chapter 32 'August Underground'

chapter 33 'Haunted'

chapter 34 'Bad Man'

chapter 35 'Can't Catch Me Now'

chapter 36 'Another Love'

chapter 37 'Francesca'

epilogue 'If I Go, I'm Goin'

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, mentions of court, mentions of shootings

Chris’s POV

It was early Saturday morning when Nate showed up at my place in Somerville, looking like he hadn’t slept a minute. He’d just been let go from the police station after being kept overnight. I could tell from the way his eyes darted around that he was still a little on edge. It wasn’t the first time Nate had found himself in trouble, but this was different. Getting arrested for carrying too much weed while being tied up with our crew was a whole new level of risky.

Nate and I were both part of the Crimson Cartel, a gang deeply embedded in Boston’s streets. His family had been involved for as long as I could remember, and his cousin Danny was one of the big players. I got pulled into it all because of Nate - our friendship was solid, and when he joined, it wasn’t long before I did too. 

“Got a joint, bro?”  Nate asked, his eyes already scanning the kitchen for one.

I laughed. “Seriously? You just got back from being arrested for possession, and you want to smoke up?”

“Hell yeah. What else am I gonna do?” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

I liked the occasional joint. It helped take the edge off, helped me relax when things got too hectic. But that was it - just weed, nothing harder. I knew where to draw the line. Sure, I sold drugs, but I didn’t get involved with any of the other shit. That was strictly for the older guys in the Crimson Cartel. Those were the ones who handled the hits, the intimidation, the gruesome work. They had been in the game for years, hardened by it. Nate and I, we were different.

We were the youngest in the gang - Me being 21, and Nate just 20, everyone else was 30+. We’d been involved since we were 16 & 17. Our job was simple: handle the drug runs, get the product from one place to another. No blood on our hands, no breaking bones or taking lives. It was a clean line, or at least that’s what I told myself. I wasn’t in this for the violence. Hell, I wasn’t even in this by choice, one bad decision snowballed, and now this was my life. My family freaked the fuck out when they found out. Kicked me out, didn’t want anything to do with me. That’s how I ended up living with my uncle Jerry, just trying to get by. I guess it helped having an uncle who liked to smoke too.

Just sell it – that’s what I kept reminding myself. I was good at it. I didn’t have to hurt anyone. I didn’t have to be like the older guys who let the gang swallow them whole. I wasn’t a thug, and I wasn’t going to become one. That’s how I stayed sane in all this.

The older guys in the cartel, though – they didn’t think like that. For them, it wasn’t just about the money. It was about power, about making a name for themselves on the streets of Boston. Nate and I didn’t fit into that. We were runners, sure, but we kept ourselves out of the violent shit. Nate had a reckless streak growing up, especially when he was with his cousin Danny, but even he didn’t want to cross that line.

Still, the older we got, the harder it became to stay in our lane. The more we were around, the more they expected from us. Every time I handed off a package, there was always this nagging feeling that eventually, they’d want more. Nate and I had managed to avoid that side of the cartel for now, but I knew it wouldn’t last forever. There’s only so long you can run drugs before they start pulling you deeper in.

The truth was, this life had a way of blurring those lines. Sure, I wasn’t involved in any hits, but I was part of the same machine that funded them. Every deal I made, every bag I handed off, it all contributed to something bigger, something more dangerous. As much as I tried to keep myself at arm’s length from the bloodshed, I was still part of the problem. And deep down, I knew it. But I had to keep telling myself that it was different. That I was different. As long as I stayed on the edges of it, as long as I kept my head down and just did the runs, I wouldn’t have to cross that line. I wouldn’t have to become like Vince or Danny or any of the others who’d let the cartel define them.

We headed out the side gate of my bungalow and settled into the backyard. It was chilly, but the kind of brisk Boston morning you get used to. I pulled out a joint, lit it up, and handed it over as Nate slouched back into one of the old chairs. As he took a deep drag, I asked, “So, what the hell happened?”

He exhaled slowly, the smoke curling up into the air. “Man, it was a mess. I was out helping Danny and Sully with a run. You know, just moving some weight, nothing crazy. But then Danny got a call, said one of the big guys from H Block was back in town, and he couldn’t let that slide.”

I nodded, knowing all too well how territorial things had gotten lately between us and H Block.

“So, next thing I know, we’re driving down Charles Street, street was silent as fuck not a sinner on the place. I’d just smoked a joint and was high as hell when Danny starts shooting. I panicked when the shots went off and I hopped out the car. The car took off, and I was stuck there like a damn fool.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head. “You didn’t try to get back in?”

“Nah, man. They were gone, and I freaked out. I didn’t want to stick around a crime scene, so I ran. Ended up at the Public Garden trying to blend in, but it’s October so I’m sat there freezing my ass off. Eventually, I had to leave, but cops were swarming everywhere and I’m still high as fuck so of course, I run into them.”

I laughed a little at the irony, but it quickly faded when he said, “They nailed me for carrying more than the legal amount of weed and suspicion of selling. And there’s already whispers about me being involved in the shooting. If that gets out, I’m screwed.”

“Jesus, Nate. So, what happens now?” I asked, taking the joint back from him.

“I’ve got until Monday to figure things out. That’s when my court appearance is.” Nate said, leaning back in his chair as though he wasn’t too worried.

I took a deep breath. “So, less than 48 hours?”

He nodded, eyes half lidded as the weed hit him. “Yeah, but my record’s clean. It’s the first time I’ve ever been caught with anything, so I should get off light. Worst case? A fine and some community service. I doubt they’ll throw me in jail.”

I passed the joint back to him. “And they don’t have anything solid linking you to the hit?”

“Not yet, I mean from what I remember no one else was around.” he said, exhaling smoke. “But you know how it is. If they start digging, anything could come up.”

I sat there, processing everything. Nate was right, he might be fine, but there was always the chance the cops would sniff out something worse. “You want me to do anything?”

“Yeah, actually” he said, rubbing his hands together. “I’m supposed to do a run in Roxbury tomorrow, but with the heat on me, I need to lay low. Can you cover it?”

I thought about it for a second. It wasn’t like I had anything better to do. “Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”

Nate nodded, looking relieved. He gave me the address, and I pulled out my phone to type it into my notes app. As I did, I noticed a drop down notification that made me freeze.

“@y/ny/l/n2 liked your photo.”

I blinked, staring at the screen. Y/n Y/l/n? It had been years since I’d heard that name. Curious, I clicked the notification, but by the time the app loaded, it was gone. There was no mention of her like, no new activity on the post. Weird.

Nate noticed I was distracted. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just.. an old name popped up,” I said, pocketing my phone.

“Old girl?” he teased, a grin forming on his face.

“Something like that” I muttered, still thinking about Y/n. I hadn’t seen or talked to her in years, but I couldn’t deny that her name stirred something in me. We had a brief thing back in 2018, nothing too serious, but I always had a soft spot for her.

Nate eventually decided to head home, needing some rest after his long night in the station. I waved him off, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Y/n. What was she up to these days? Was she still in Boston? Why did she like my post after all this time? What made her look at my Instagram?

That night, I went over everything for the run tomorrow, making sure I had everything in place. But no matter how much I tried to focus, I couldn’t stop thinking about Y/n.

She was one of those girls who left a mark on you, no matter how brief things had been. And even though it had been years, I couldn’t help but wonder what seeing her again might be like.

Monday came faster than I expected, and I found myself standing outside the Boston Municipal Court with Nate. He looked calm, or at least as calm as he could be given the situation. But I knew better. Nate always tried to play it cool, even when he was freaking out on the inside.

We hadn’t talked much since Saturday, and I could tell the nerves were starting to hit him now. His foot tapped restlessly on the courthouse steps as we waited for his case to be called. The morning air was crisp, the fall chill creeping in, and it wasn’t helping either of us settle.

“You’ll be fine” I muttered, trying to reassure him.

He gave me a tight smile. “Yeah, let’s hope so. Just gotta get through this.”

When they finally called Nate’s name, we both stood, making our way inside. The courtroom was filled with the usual mix of people – lawyers, family members, defendants. Everyone there for one reason or another, all waiting for their fate to be decided. As much as Nate tried to shrug it off, this was serious. The rumors about the hit on Charles Street were swirling, and we both knew if they got any real evidence, he was screwed.

Nate’s lawyer made a decent argument – first-time offense, clean record, no solid evidence tying him to anything worse than possession. They dragged it out longer than I thought they would, but in the end, the judge gave his ruling.

“A charitable donation of $2,000 and 50 hours of community service” the judge announced, his voice echoing through the courtroom. “Additionally, Mr. Doe, you are expected to refrain from any drug-related activities for the next 12 months. Any violation of this order will result in harsher consequences.”

The words were like a weight being lifted off Nate’s shoulders. He was let off easy. I knew he’d be able to pay the fine without blinking, and the community service? It was nothing. But the whole “refrain from drug-related activities” part? That was funny. We both knew that wasn’t happening. Nate just had to make sure he didn’t get caught.

As soon as the court was adjourned, I felt the tension drain out of me. Nate’s future was safe, for now. I clapped him on the back as we left the courtroom. “See? Not so bad.”

Nate grinned, shaking his head. “Yeah, man, I guess I got lucky.”

But even though things had turned out okay, I needed to get out of there. The courtroom felt too small, too confined. I needed air, space to think, and to breathe. I left as fast as I could, practically jogging out of the courthouse doors and into the cool October breeze. It hit me like a wave, and I inhaled deeply, trying to clear my head.

That’s when I saw her.

The most strikingly beautiful girl I’d seen in years. A face that was hard to forget. Something in my chest tightened as I watched her walk across the courtyard, almost in slow motion. She was looking down at her phone, completely unaware of my presence.

And then it hit me. I knew that girl.

Wait–Y/n?

The same Y/n I hadn’t seen since 2018. The same Y/n who had been on my mind all weekend after that weird Instagram notification.

My feet were frozen in place, and for a second, I felt like time had stopped. There she was, standing just a few feet away, as if fate had decided to throw us back together after all these years.

Y/n.

What the hell were the odds?

I didn’t know if I should walk up to her or just keep my distance, but before I could make a decision, she looked up from her phone and our eyes locked. My heart skipped a beat.

There was no avoiding it now.

Y/n’s Pov

"Y/n?" His voice was deeper than I remembered, smooth yet surprised.

I blinked, still in awe of how good looking he still was. He had that same disheveled charm, the messy brown hair, sharp jawline, and those piercing eyes that always seemed to see right through me. Only now, he was taller, broader. He had grown into himself, and it was impossible to ignore.

"Chris" I breathed, trying to act casual but failing miserably. "Wow, it’s been a while."

"It really has" he said with that signature smirk of his. "It’s nice to see you. You look great."

I could feel my cheeks heating up. "Thanks. You too."

We stood there for a moment, just taking each other in. It was surreal, seeing him after all these years. I didn’t even know what to say or where to start.

"So.. what are you doing here?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

He chuckled lightly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nate got into a bit of trouble, as you probably saw in there. I’m just here to support him."

"Right" I nodded, still trying to wrap my head around everything. Chris and Nate, in court. A few years ago, I never would’ve pictured it, well maybe Nate but not so much Chris.

"How’s life treating you?" he said, eyes scanning me in that way that made my heart flutter. 

"It’s good, actually. Just finishing up a big project for college. Still getting used to all the work, but I like it."

He nodded, his gaze softening. "I’m glad to hear it. You always had your head on straight."

Before I could respond, Nate appeared, walking up to us with his usual nonchalance. He looked at Chris first, then at me, a flicker of recognition passing across his face.

"I’ll wait for you in the car, man" Nate said, slapping Chris on the back before giving me a nod. "Nice seeing you."

I returned the gesture, watching as Nate sauntered off. It was so strange, seeing both of them like this. Nate barely glanced back, disappearing down the steps toward the parking lot. My eyes flicked back to Chris, who was still watching me with that familiar intensity.

"We should hang out sometime" he said, almost casually, but there was something more to it.

My stomach did a flip. "Yeah, that would be nice."

Chris smiled, a genuine one that sent my pulse racing again. "You’re still living in Beacon Hill, right?"

I shook my head. "No, we moved once I started college. My parents wanted a bigger house in a quieter area, so we’re out in Brookline now."

He nodded, while giving me a soft smirk. "That’s cool. I’ve still got you on Instagram. I’ll shoot you a message, and we can figure something out."

The casual mention of Instagram made my face burn. He definitely saw the notification. I could feel the heat rising up my neck. But if he knew, he didn’t say anything. He just gave me that same charming smile, one that felt all too familiar.

"Yeah, sounds good" I mumbled, trying to keep my cool.

With one last glance, he gave me a quick nod before turning to leave. I watched as he walked away, feeling the blood rush to my face. The way he moved, the effortless confidence — it all hit me at once.

Chris was back in my life, just like that. And somehow, it felt like things were about to get a lot more complicated.

a/n: first chris povvvv

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @slutniolo @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69

[spicysighs]

Matty Healy + Taylor Swift Timeline

11/7/13: Matty talking about Taylor liking the band and being asked to tour with her.

1/21/14: Matty talking about Taylor liking the band. xx

3/31/14: Matty talks about being asked to tour with Taylor and turning it down. "That was cool. It’s like, ‘We can’t, but that is really nice, thank you very much.”

11/4/14: Matty is pictured wearing a deluxe 1989 album cover tee at his concert in Milwaukee.

11/8/14: Taylor reblogs the picture on tumblr and says they are her favorite band.

11/9/14: Taylor likes these two pictures of Matty wearing the 1989 t-shirt.

11/9/14: Taylor liked this gif-set of Matty talking about whether he’s a dog or cat person.

11/19/14: Selena Gomez, Taylor and other friends went to The 1975 show in LA. Video of them singing along to ‘The City.’

11/19/14: Taylor & Matty making a video for a fan. (Jamie’s daughter Kitty)

11/22/14: Matty follows Taylor on Twitter.

11/23/14: Taylor was pictured wearing a The 1975 band shirt.

11/23/14: Taylor likes these two posts of them wearing each others merch.

11/24/14: Matty dedicates ‘Robbers’ to Taylor. Supposedly he’s done this multiple times. xx

11/25/14: Taylor likes these Tumblr posts. And this picture of Matty.

11/26/14: Taylor likes this Tumblr post.

11/26/14: Matty likes Taylor’s post on Instagram.

11/26/14: Matty wearing the 1989 t-shirt again.

11/26/14: Matty talking about meeting Taylor "I met Taylor Swift, that was really nice." and when asked about possibly dating "I mean bloody hell, what am I going to do? Go out with Taylor Swift? She's a sensation, I wouldn't say no."

11/28/14: Taylor is rumored to have attended The 1975 show in Chattanooga, TN.  

11/29/14: Taylor likes this Tumblr post.

11/29/14: Matty signed this Polaroid for a fan, and the fan talking about the interaction.

11/29/14: Matty says he can’t kiss a fan because he’s taken.

12/2/14: Matty’s mom retweets this.

12/2/14: Matty likes Taylor’s Instagram post.

12/3/14: Matty about Taylor “Well, she’s amazing. She’s an amazing role model. And not only is she an incredible songwriter, she’s an incredible pop songwriter, which I think is even harder. I can’t speak highly enough about Taylor Swift.”

12/4/14: Taylor, Martha, Karlie and others went to The 1975 show in NYC. Where Matty dedicated ‘fallingforyou’ to her. Rumored that Matty missed the after-party and spent the night with Taylor. xx 

12/5/14: Taylor likes this Tumblr post about Matty singing ‘fallingforyou’ to her.

12/5/14: Matty’s tweet in response to articles about him and Taylor getting his name wrong.

12/6/14: Matty has a breakdown on stage in Boston, MA. In 2015 talking about the incident he says “There was girl stuff. There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff.” 

12/6/14: Matty talking about a fan saying “I love you” to him. “What did I say to the poor fucking girl? ‘You don’t have the right to love me. You don’t know me. I love you but you don’t get to love me.’ Jesus. Can you imagine your favorite band shouting that at you? What a dickhead. What a horrible thing to say to a kid who fucking does love me.”

12/9/14: Matty at a show in NY “I was sad the other day as someone told me they loved me. And I said ‘No, you don’t. Not really.’ And today I told someone I loved them. And they said ‘No, you don’t.’ And it fucking sucks to hear that. Especially when you mean it. Don’t do that to someone. Don’t do what I did.”

12/14/14: Matty posts this on Instagram.

12/30/14: Matty deletes this Instagram post.

1/16/15: Matty denies dating rumors. Admits they exchanged numbers but “That didn’t really happen as much as it’d be amazing for me if it did, unfortunately it didn’t.”

2/25/15: They hangout at the BRIT Awards afterparty. (This weekend is when she met Calvin and they started dating)

2015: Matty & Halsey date and breakup.

11/15/15: Matty talks about Taylor in an interview “The things that surround her are like Barack Obama. I fell for her a little bit, but everyone falls for Taylor Swift” “The day after she’d been to a show of ours, someone sent me a screenshot of E! News with the headline ‘Who is Matt Healy?’ That freaked me out. I’m not ready to indulge in that world and I’m not ready to be judged by that world.”

12/8/15: Matty talks about reaching out to Taylor to have her in his music video.

Sometime in 2015: Matty & Gabriella Brooks start dating.

2/1/16: Matty talking about Taylor “She was a fan of the band and we just became friends, and we related to each other over how mental our lives were. But when you’re with people like Taylor, there are a million people flying around you the whole time, and this security guard is talking to that guy, and this guy is the new manager. I didn’t like the pace of it, because it makes me confused and I feel like I’m going to miss something. And being perceptive is one of the abilities that I like to think that I have.“

3/17/16: Matt Healy has suggested that dating Taylor Swift would have been "emasculating" for him because of her huge global fame.

3/18/16: Journalist who interviewed him writes an op-ed saying his words were misconstrued and "I saw an intelligent and liberal man wrestling with our culture’s gender roles."

3/19/16: He apologizes for said comments and calls Taylor "One of the most gracious, hard working, creatively gifted, and beautiful women that I have had the pleasure to meet."

6/1/16: Taylor & Calvin Harris breakup.

6/15/16: Taylor starts dating Tom Hiddleston.

8/17/16: Matty says he has Taylor’s number but “she’s probably changed her number by now.” And jokes “I keep texting her.”

8/30/16: Matty talks about Taylor on the BBCR1's Breakfast Show. They joke about Taylor doing jury duty.

9/6/16: Taylor & Tom Hiddleston breakup.

October 2016: Taylor & Joe Alwyn start dating.

10/27/16: Matty about Taylor in Rolling Stone “She came to our show, and you would have thought that Barack Obama had come out. I don’t know another person on the planet that would elicit that kind of reaction.”

11/11/16: Matty again denies he dated Taylor and says “She came to a show and we hung out. We fancied each other, but then we couldn’t have it go any further, because it would be like going out with Barack Obama.”

11/20/17: Podcast talking about Taylor & Matty.

12/3/18: Matty talking about his journal “It’s mainly stories that I write about my dreams of being in love with other popstars.”

12/4/18: Matty retweets a picture of Taylor.

8/28/19: Matty & Gabriella Brooks breakup.

9/23/19: Mentions wanting to produce an album for Taylor in an interview (at 13:48 & 32:00) “Taylor, if you ever want someone to help you set up the mics for your little acoustic record, just so you know, I’m there.”

9/23/19: Matty retweets and tags Taylor in a post quoting him saying he wants to produce an album for Taylor.

9/24/19: Matty tweets “Taylor Swift. With an acoustic guitar. Doing her ‘Nebraska’. Doing her ‘Blue’. Kill me.”

January 2020: Matty & FKA Twigs start dating.

2/12/20: Both attend the NME awards and hug. Beabadoobee (who Taylor is talking to in the video) about meeting Taylor that day “Taylor’s so ethereal, So badass, I was like ‘Holy shit!’ She was walking towards me and I’m like, ‘She’s going to Matty [The 1975] not me.’ And then she comes up to me and I’m like... I vomited in my mouth. I couldn’t believe it.”

2/20/20: Matty mentions seeing Taylor and wanting to work with her in an interview with Zane Lowe. “She was just stood behind me. I mean, I haven’t seen Taylor in years so it was actually a really nice room. But it, unfortunately, wasn’t the time for me to pitch my post-rock Joni Mitchell project.”

10/22/20: Deuxmoi posts these.

2021: Matty starts working with Jack Antonoff on The 1975′s upcoming album.  

November 2021: Taylor and Jack Antonoff start working on “Midnights.”

6/7/22: Matty & FKA Twigs breakup. 

8/9/22: Matty Healy shares Taylor Swift’s reaction to The 1975’s new album, with her saying “it’s so funny.” 

9/3/22: Matty says there will be no collab on Midnights. “I would love that! But unfortunately FAKE NEWS :(”

10/7/22: Matty tweets “You guys actually thought Taylor Swift was gonna have me on her album”

10/11/22: Matty on working with Taylor “Oh we’re not. We’d love to. Love to work with Taylor Swift. Love Taylor Swift, think she’s one of the best songwriters, but yeah, no we haven’t done that. We’d love to though.”

10/11/22: The 1975 discuss covering ‘Lover’ for the BBC live lounge.

10/12/22: Matty briefly mentions Taylor in a Zane Lowe interview (45:53).

10/18/22: Matty briefly mentions Taylor in a podcast (1:22:40) when talking about who they would like to see on the podcast. Interestingly enough her name seems to be cut from the video version of the podcast.

10/23/22: Matty posted on his Instagram to stream Midnights.

10/26/22: Matty posted he was listening to ‘Hey Stephen TV’ on his Instagram story

11/27/22: Matty said he worked on Midnights with Taylor but their versions didn’t make the cut (4:52). “We actually worked a bit on that, but then the version of it never came out.” “It was for reasons not to be criticized.”

12/21/22: Matty said ‘Chocolate‘ reminds him of Taylor “Tumblr, Doc Martens, Taylor Swift, the 1975”

‘Question…?’ Played in The 1975 pre-show playlist. (Don’t have dates because it happened multiple times)

1/12/23: Matty & Taylor before The 1975 show.

1/12/23: Taylor does a surprise performance at The 1975 show in London. Deuxmoi later claims they stayed up until 4 am talking (later confirmed in his profile with The New Yorker.)

1/12/23: Matty “I’m not kissing anybody in front of Taylor Swift, have some respect. in front of the queen? not happening"

2/2/23: Matty briefly mentions Taylor and the Ticketmaster situation (38:06)

February: Allegedly spent several days at a Los Angeles recording studio together.

3/15/23: Matty seen with Ana Salazar.

3/17/23: First show of The Eras Tour

3/22/23: Puff-piece comes out stating Joe and Taylor are ‘great together’ and ‘super supportive of her career’ and will be travelling to her ‘when he can’.

‘About You’ plays at the same time as the Lover MV has been playing on The Eras Tour pre-show playlist. (Don’t have dates because it happened multiple times)

3/29/23: Matty’s ex says “Things were going well until around March 29th then, out of the blue, he stopped replying to my messages and calls.”

3/31/23: Taylor changes The Eras Tour setlist from ‘Invisible String’ to ‘The 1’

4/7/23: Matty follows Taylor on Instagram.

4/7/23: Matty likes Taylor’s Instagram post.

4/8/23: Matty’s birthday.

4/8/23: It's announced Taylor and Joe have broken up.

4/8/23: Matty talking about love and how happy he is.

4/10/23: Matty deactivates his social media accounts.

4/10/23: Matty on why he deactivated “Everything happens in eras. The 1975 is a very eras band. And I think that the era of me being a fucking asshole is gonna come to an end.” and “I perform all the time and it’s my job and I love doing this, but I can’t perform off the stage any more as I just want to be a bloke.”

4/10/23: Matty says “Hey, I love you.” during ‘About You’.

4/10/23: Matty mouths “You know who you are.” and points during ‘About You’.

4/11/23: Matty “A call for something sincere and direct. That’s what we’re all looking for. That’s what I’m looking for. Maybe I’ve found it.. I’m feeling quite happy.” 

4/13/23: Deuxmoi says she got a tip that Matty & Taylor are dating. (19:16)

4/14/23: Matty cheering during ‘Me & You Together.’

4/14/23: Matty “Romance is nice when it works, this next song worked.” ‘fallingforyou’ starts playing “Oh it’s a different song, this song did not work.”

4/14/23: Before ‘About You’ “Ok, this is the one that worked.”

4/14/23: Matty mouthing “I love you” during ‘About You’ and saying “Fuck yeah, I win!” after it ends.

4/16/23: Matty’s “Yeah you will!” during ‘Happiness’ after the line, “I’m never gonna love again.”

4/19/23: Matty says “It takes bit to get here but its worth it” and “true story” before playing ‘Me & You Together.’

4/21/23: Matty plays a cover of ‘The Best of Me’ by The Starting Line. Take note of the lyrics.

4/24/23: Matty spoke about how he sees people listening to ‘She's American’ in three places: Manchester, Tokyo and Pennsylvania “that’s a whole other thing don’t worry about that.”

5/3/23: The Sun reports Matty and Taylor are dating and will go public with their romance at her shows in Nashville.

5/3/23: Matty introducing ‘Me and You Together song’, saying “I’ve got something real to tell you guys!”

5/3/23: Matty mouths “This is about you, you know who you are. I love you.” while playing ‘About You.’

5/3/23: Matty does a cover of ‘The Best of Me’ by The Starting Line again.

5/4/23: Matty introducing ‘Me and You Together song’, saying “So I’ve been trying to tell you guys” and “That’s right.”

5/4/23: Before playing ‘About You’ Matty mouths "This is why I'm happy. Who is it about? Who am I talking to?"

5/4/23: Matty is seen mouthing the words "I love you" before writing the letter T on the camera lens.

5/4/23: Matty saying “she sure is” before playing ‘She's American.’

5/4/23: Matty flies from Manila to Nashville. (Which is around a 20hr flight)

5/5/23: Matty at Taylor’s concert. Nashville night 1.

5/5/23: Taylor mouths “This is about you, you know who you are. I love you.” during ‘cardigan.’

5/6/23: Matty grabbing coffee accompanied by Taylors bodyguard after leaving Taylors condo.

5/6/23: Matty at Nashville night 2. xx

5/6/23: Matty & Taylor pictured arriving at Taylor’s condo together.

5/7/23: Matty at Nashville night 3.

5/11/23: Matty and Taylor spotted on a date with Jack Antonoff in NYC. More pictures here.

5/12/23: Matty at Philly night 1.

5/13/23: Matty at Philly night 2.

5/13/23: Taylor performs ‘This Love’ with no introduction.

5/14/23: Taylor plays a request of “Hey Stephen”, but doesn’t say who requested it.

5/14/23: Matty pictured at the VIP tent at The Eras Tour Philly night 3

5/15/23: Matty and Taylor pictured leaving a party at Electric Studios in NYC.

5/18/23: Article comes out saying Joe is 'distraught and slighted' over Taylor & Matty dating, saying he ‘trusted’ Taylor when she said they were just friends.

5/18/23 Matty entering Taylor’s NYC Apartment.

5/20/23: Matty’s ex talks about Matty and Taylor.

5/20/23: Taylor’s speech before playing ‘Question...?’  in Foxborough, MA. "I want you all to know that I've never been this happy before in my life. It’s not just with the tour, I just sort of feel like my life finally feels like it makes sense. And so I thought I’d play this song, which brings me a lot of happy memories."

5/20/23: Taylor plays ‘Question...?’ on night 2 in Foxborough, MA.

5/22/23: Matty dropping Taylor off at Electric Lady Studios.

5/24/23: Taylor and Matty leaving the Electric Lady Studios separately.

5/27/23: The Sun reports Matty and Taylor are moving in together.

5/29/23: Matty’s profile with The New Yorker comes out which includes multiple mentions of Taylor.

5/29/23: From The New Yorker “Healy found it annoying that, at a certain level of fame, celebrities can cultivate liberal auras while avoiding the risk of taking real political stands. (Swift, I thought, but didn’t say, seemed to be excepted from his critique.)”

5/29/23: From The New Yorker about Taylor & Matty dating “ Neither of their representatives would comment on the record, but I kept getting texts from people who knew them, and who insisted: this time, it’s real.”

6/5/23: Matty & Taylor reportedly break up.

6/6/23: People releases an article saying "There is no drama, and who knows what could happen again.” and "Taylor and Matty still care for one another but they are in the middle of world tours so both are incredibly busy. They've been friends for years and are still friends."

6/6/23: While discussing Taylor on his podcast (21:06) Zach Sang says "I'm like kind of friends with Selena Gomez. We've known each other for a very long time and we share a lot of close friends. And from what I heard like in the aura around Selena, Taylor was talking about Matty Healy like he was the one." 

6/11/23: Matty reactivates his Instagram.

6/11/23: Matty “You know what’s nice, playing songs in context“ before ‘Me and You Together song’

7/1/23: Matty mentions Taylor "I don’t wanna use this thing [the catwalk], it feels very democratic, it feels very… I mean Beyonce of course, Taylor, Machine Gun Kelly, whoever it may be… I don’t like it, it makes me feel exposed."

7/5/23: The Sun claims Matty & Taylor are back together and “want to make it work at all costs.”

7/5/23: People declines claims that they are together.

7/18/23: Matty briefly mentions Taylor “I speak about this a lot, the Tumblr times, the simpler days, the golden days. When it was just us and Taylor and Lana and Arctic Monkeys.”

7/22/23: Taylor removes ‘About You’ from The Eras Tour pre-show playlist.

8/7/23: Matty is seen with Meredith Mickelson at an airport in Hawaii.

August 2023: Taylor starts dating Travis Kelce.

September 2023: Matty starts dating Gabbriette.

December 2023: Multiple people receive miss prints of “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” which appears to show the song “Slut” originally featured The 1975.

4/19/24: Taylor releases her new album “The Tortured Poets Department” where many songs are believed to be about Taylor and Matty’s previous relationship. 

[nightshadehasblorbos]

NHL Pride Nights 2024-2025

5 October - Vegas Golden Knights v. San Jose Sharks 26 October - Nashville Predators v. Columbus Blue Jackets 3 November - Winnipeg Jets v. Tampa Bay Lightning 3 December - Washington Capitals v. San Jose Sharks 10 December - New Jersey Devils v. Toronto Maple Leafs 12 December - Vancouver Canucks v. Florida Panthers 13 December - Carolina Hurricanes v. Ottawa Senators 20 December - Detroit Red Wings v. Montreal Canadiens 6 January - Seattle Kraken v. New Jersey Devils 9 January - St. Louis Blues v. Anaheim Ducks 11 January - San Jose Sharks v. Minnesota Wild 12 January - New York Islanders v. Philadelphia Flyers 18 January - Florida Panthers v. Anaheim Ducks 21 January - Philadelphia Flyers v. Detroit Red Wings 30 January - Boston Bruins v. Winnipeg Jets 25 February - Columbus Blue Jackets v. Dallas Stars 26 February - Colorado Avalanche v. New Jersey Devils 2 March - New York Rangers v. Nashville Predators 4 March - Tampa Bay Lightning v. Columbus Blue Jackets 7 March - Anaheim Ducks v. St. Louis Blues 13 March - Pittsburgh Penguins v. St. Louis Blues 13 March - Minnesota Wild v. New York Rangers 15 March - Montreal Canadiens v. Florida Panthers 18 March - Chicago Blackhawks v. Seattle Kraken 24 March - Dallas Stars v. New Jersey Devils 25 March - Calgary Flames v. Seattle Kraken 26 March - Edmonton Oilers v. Dallas Stars 27 March - Buffalo Sabres v. Pittsburgh Penguins 29 March - Los Angeles Kings v. Toronto Maple Leafs 3 April - Ottawa Senators v. Tampa Bay Lightning

*Toronto Maple Leafs - typically they announce pride night closer to the actual date. *Utah Hockey Club - so far only one theme night has been announced, so they may be announcing theme nights one at a time.

[batboyblog]

Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #18

May 10-17 2024

The Justice Department endorses lifting many restrictions on marijuana. Since the 1970s marijuana has been classified as a Schedule I controlled substance, the most restrictive classification for drugs that are highly addictive, dangerous and have no medical use, like heroin. Schedule I drugs are nearly impossible to get approval for research studies greatly hampering attempts to understand marijuana and any medical benefits it may have. The DoJ recommends moving it to Schedule III, drugs with low risk of abuse like anabolic steroids, and testosterone. This will allow for greater research, likely allow medical marijuana, and make marijuana a much less serious offense. President Biden welcomed DoJ's decision, a result a review of policy he ordered. Biden in his message talked about how he's pardoned everyone convicted of marijuana possession federally. The President repeated a phrase he's said many times "No-one should be in jail just for using or possessing marijuana,"

The Department of Interior announced no new coal mining in America's largest coal producing region. The moratorium on new coal leases has been hailed as the single biggest step so fair toward ending coal in the US. The Powder River Basin area of Wyoming and Montana produces 40% of the nations coal, the whole state of West Virginia is just 14%. The new rule is estimated to reduce emissions by the equivalent of 293 million tons of carbon dioxide annually, the same as taking 63 million gas powered cars off the road.

Vice-President Harris announced that the Biden-Harris Administration had broken records by investing $16 billion in Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Harris, a graduate of Howard University, is the first President or Vice-President to have gone to a HBCU. The Administration's investment of $900 million so far in 2024 brought the total investment of the Biden-Harris administration in HBCUs to $16 billion more than double the record $7 billion. HBCUs produce 40% of black engineers, 50% of black teachers, 70% of black doctors and dentists, and 80% of black judges. HBCUs also have a much better record of helping social mobility and moving people out of generational poverty than other colleges and universities.

The Department of Housing and Urban Development announced $30 billion dollars in renewal funding for the Housing Choice Voucher Program. The program supports 2.3 million families that are in need of housing with vouchers that help pay rent. This funding represents a $2 billion dollar increase over last year.

The Department of Agriculture announced $671.4 million in investments in rural infrastructure. The money will go to project to improve rural electric grids, as well as drinking water and wastewater treatment infrastructure. The money will go to 47 projects across 23 states.

HUD announced a record breaking $1.1 billion dollar investment in Tribal housing and community development. HUD plans just over 1 billion dollars for the Indian Housing Block Grant (IHBG) program. This is a 40% increase in funding over 2023 and marks the largest ever funding investment in Indian housing. HUD also is investing $75 million in community development, supporting building and rehabbing community buildings in American Indian and Alaska Native communities.

The Department of Transportation announced $2 billion in investments in America's busiest passenger rail route, the Northeast Corridor between Washington DC and Boston. This is part of a 15 year, $176 billion plan to rebuild the corridor’s infrastructure and prepare for increased ridership and more trains. So far investments have seen a 25% increase, 7 million riders, over figures last year. a fully funded plan would almost double Amtrak service between New York City and Washington, D.C., and increase service between New York City and Boston by 50%. It would also allow a 60% increase in commuter trains.

HUD announced plans to streamline its HOME program. Currently the largest federal program to help build affordable housing, the streamlining of the rules will speed up building and help meet the Biden Administration's goal of 2 million new affordable housing units. HUD announced last week $1.3 billion dollars for the HOME program, which built 13,000 new units of housing in 2023 and helped 13,000 families with rental assistance

The Department of Interior announced $520 million in new water projects to help protect against drought in the western states. The funding will support 57 water related projects across 18 western states. The projects focus on climate resilience and drought prevention, as well as improving aging water delivery systems, and improving hydropower generation.

The Departments of Agriculture and HHS have stepped up efforts to wipe out the H5N1 virus prevent its spread to humans while protecting farmers livelihoods. The virus is currently effecting dairy cattle in the Texas panhandle region. The USDA and HSS are releasing wide ranging funds to help support farms equipping workers with Personal Protective Equipment, covering Veterinary costs, as well as compensating farmers for lost revenue. HHS and the CDC announced $101 million in testing an monitoring. This early detection and action is key to preventing another Covid style pandemic.

The Senate confirmed Sanket Bulsara to a life time federal judgeship in New York and Eric Schulte and Camela Theeler to lifetime federal judgeships in South Dakota. This brings the total number of judges appointed by President Biden to 197. For the first time in history the majority of a President's judicial nominees have not been white men.

Bonus: The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that transgender health insurance exclusions were illegal. The ruling came from a case first filed in 2019 where an employer refused to cover an employee's gender affirming surgery. The court in its ruling sited new guidance from the Biden Administration's Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that declared that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act protects trans people in the work place. These kinds of guidelines are often sited in court and carry great weight.

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

chapter one: southern nights

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ only, MDNI), nothing explicit in this part but future parts will be

series summary: 

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 4.4k

warnings: NO USE OF Y/N, NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), mild alcohol use, mentions of food/eating, pet name (sweetheart), polite southern manners (*cough* sir *cough*), feeling familial and self pressure

“I can see a truck pulling up now! C’mere, see if you can get a glimpse of them. You’ve got better eyes.”

Your mother is standing at the side of the picture window in your living room, attempting to stealthily get a good look at the new neighbors moving in next door. Her hand waves you over from where you’re standing at the bottom of the stairs, disheveled from the sleep that is still fogging most of your brain.

You definitely have to be half asleep because you comply with your mother’s urgent pleas, the bottoms of your bare feet sticking to the humid wood floors. You are fresh-air people, as your mother says, leaving all the windows and doors open for as long as humanly possible in the summer. It only lasts for the first few weeks of warmer weather, and eventually, everything gets sealed up and the house becomes a frigid ice box with the way your parents crank the air conditioning. Peeling your feet off the floor one last time, you stop in front of the glass.

Standing next to your mother, fully visible in the open window, you study the moving truck that’s pulled into the driveway adjacent to yours.

A local company. Must already be from Austin.

Behind the massive truck, a navy blue Ford pickup that you don’t recognize coasts down the asphalt, getting thrown into park in front of the lawn of the vacant house. Two men, maybe early thirties if you had to guess, climb out of the driver’s side and passenger seat, already talking over each other.

The one at the passenger side has dark brown, nearly black hair that looks just long enough to need a trim and frames his face with curls. Fairly tall, firm build. The white ribbed tank top that he’s wearing hugs his torso underneath the green shirt thrown on over it, buttons undone. He has a shit-eating grin on his face about something that must have been said, hand banging on the side of the car before he walks back towards the bed to grab a cardboard box out of it.

The other, the one that’s come out of the driver’s side, looks a bit older than the passenger. Much more cropped, but still messy, lighter brown hair sweeps down onto his forehead, the back of it curling up slightly at the nape of his neck. Definitely could use a haircut, too, but the bedhead is endearing. A hand reaches up to scratch at the trim beard and mustache that he’s sporting, the facial hair framing his strong jaw nicely. His eyebrows are furrowing in frustration or annoyance, or maybe a bit of both while his head shakes back and forth at whatever his companion joked about. He makes the grumpy stare charming, and you suddenly have the thought that you’d like to know if he’s always got that crease in his brow or if that’s only reserved for the man who was unpacking the truck now. The muscles in his biceps flex as he shuts his door, t-shirt pulling taut over his chest as he steps to open the rear door, a grin growing on his face.

Out from the backseat pops the most adorable little girl you’ve seen. Looks to be about seven or eight years old, maybe, with tiny, sweet features and dressed in a lilac shirt and denim Bermuda shorts. She’s got voluminous, kinky curls that show off natural highlights in the Texas sunshine. She’s giggling and giddy, reaching for the man who opened the door to help her down from the raised truck. He scoops her up, a shriek of laughter coming from the little girl as he slings her over his shoulder. More muscles flex in his back as he carries the weight easily, walking back to the bed of the pickup to grab some bags out of it to bring inside.

So tunnel-visioned on the vignette of family life playing out in front of you, you didn’t even think that you could be seen. A voyeur of your street, you forget that your curtains are drawn, the window is open, and a large pane of clear glass is the only thing in front of you. As if he could feel the burn of your stare, the eyes observing his movements, the man carrying the little girl turns towards your house. His stare catches your own that was already trained on him, a friendly smile plastered to his face as he raises the hand holding the girl in a short wave.

Mortifying. The first impression that your new neighbor, your attractive new neighbor, had of you was you, standing in ratty cotton sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt, hair falling out of the hair tie at the back of your head. Heat warmed your cheeks and the back of your neck at the embarrassment of being caught, and of being caught in this outfit.

Your mother next to you erupts in laughter, turning away from the window as you grumble under your breath about that interaction being her fault. Trudging back up the stairs to get ready for the day, annoyance is still twisted in your expression. You skip back down the stairs to the kitchen, dressed and hair fixed up, skidding into the open room to see your dad at the table alone, the newspaper in his hand with the job listing page already pulled out and set at your usual spot.

“Morning, kiddo.”

“G’morning, Dad.”

Sliding into the wooden chair at the kitchen table, you start to look over the listings in search of a summer position to occupy your time at home before you start your last year of university in the fall. There are a few postings for dogwalkers, hostesses, and waitresses that you’ve already seen or applied to in the last week. A couple of bartending jobs catch your eye, thinking about the tips to be made, but your thoughts quickly deflate when they require state licensing.

A huff of disappointment rolls from your lips when your mom comes back inside through the door to the garage, an artful smile pulling at her lips. She’s looking directly at you, the expression making you uneasy in anticipation of whatever news or plan she’s concocted. Your mother meddles, in the most loving way possible, but she can’t help but stick her nose in everyone’s business. So the next words out of her mouth really shouldn’t surprise you, but they do make your stomach turn with newfound anxiety.

“So, I just met the new neighbors. Well, one neighbor and his daughter, I guess. The Millers. His name is Joel, and his daughter’s name is Sarah, she proudly told me she was seven years old and starting the second grade in the fall. The other guy we saw was his brother that he introduced me to, Tommy.”

You’re currently rereading the same job listing over and over again to avoid looking at your mom, feigning disinterest as you nod slowly at what she’s saying. At the same time, your nerves zip in excitement at knowing his name now, and you bite your tongue to ask your mom to continue, knowing she’d tease your eagerness.

Instead, you let her tell you about the rest of the brief interaction, recalling whichever neighborhood Joel had said they moved from and how he and his brother have lived in Austin their entire lives.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you both,” your mom addresses your father for the first time in the conversation, the call to his attention making him lower the newspaper to look at her, a silent nod getting her to continue, “I invited them over for a barbecue tonight to take a break from moving in and have a nice meal after their long day. I’m gonna need you to run to the store for me, and I’ll have to get to cleaning the house…”

Your mom’s plan for the day and list of chores trail off in your ears as a buzz muffles it. Your hot neighbor was coming over to your house, tonight, and you were going to have to face him after being caught blatantly staring.

How great for you.

The sliding screen door pulls shut behind you with a woosh and a click, returning to its pathetic job of keeping insects out of the house while letting the slightly cooler evening air in. Foamy flip-flops smack against the weather-worn oak wood deck as you shuffle over to the large silver grill that your dad commands. Steel wool scrapes against the metal grates of the inside; your dad’s bent over to get better leverage to clean all the burnt bits off.

The beach-themed melamine platter weighs heavy in your hands, covered with burgers, hot dogs, and brats - plus a couple of veggie burgers - to the point where the design of crustaceans and shells in the waves and beach towels laid out on the sand is completely disguised.

“I didn’t ask what they like to eat, so I got everything I could think of! You can’t assume these days with all these new folks moving to Austin, I’m trying to be considerate,” is what your mother said to you when you asked if she was planning to feed the whole block or a small army with the amount of food that was going on the grill. 

Don’t even get started on the sides.

You set the platter piled with meat on the webbed black iron patio table to the side of the grill, shuffling over to stand at the edge of the deck, overlooking the chlorine-blue pool water that shines in the slowly fading sunlight. Your parents had installed the in-ground pool the first summer you’d been home from college, jokingly claiming it was their way to make sure you came home every summer, and your brother, Chris, too when he went away to school a short two years after you.

To be honest, it may have been a joke, but it was definitely part of the reason you came back each summer. That, and you just felt more yourself, more at ease at home. It was your comfort zone, but after spending every school year pushing yourself out of your comfort zone academically and socially, you always wanted to return to the warm, sun-soaked home that you grew up in. Maybe that made you more dependent on your parents still, maybe your friends saw it as immature, but you knew what you wanted to do, and you weren’t going to suffer over break just to seem like “an adult” like your friends thought they did.

“You gonna go for a swim, kiddo?”

Your dad’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, focusing your eyes back from the wide aperture they had fallen into as you stood mesmerized by the water moving down below you. Clearing your throat, you cross your arms over your chest as you turn back to your dad at the grill, the clicks of the gas burners lighting aflame while he twists the dials at the front.

“Maybe later. Once this attempt of Mom’s to get the first gossip on the new neighbor is over.”

Your dad laughs softly at your lightly satirical joke at your mother’s expense, shaking his head and giving you one of those looks that says ‘just do as your mother says like you always do.’

“Well, you can relax plenty later. Just be on your best behavior for the neighbors, will ya?” He laughs at his own comment, the sarcasm coating the request he’d made. You’ve never made waves in your family, in your friend group, in your neighborhood. Always known as the “sweet girl” to your older neighbors, the “golden child” to your peers and your family. Your initially reserved nature gives everyone the impression that you are a polite, kind Southern belle. If only they could read minds.

Flip flops thwacking with each step as you cross the deck again, slipping inside through the sliding door. Skating past the kitchen quickly before your mom can rope you into helping with more preparation, you take the stairs two at a time to get up to your room to get ready.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said that there was a small part of you that was excited to meet Joel. The majority of you burns with embarrassment and is dreading having to face him after getting caught in your voyeurism this morning, but with how attractive he was, it could be a bit fun to have him as a neighbor next door.

Which is why you’re standing in front of your full-length mirror, hair fixed up from the state it was in when he first saw you and a short, light blue sundress on. Eyelets and embroidery covered the dress, the square neckline was framed by cap sleeves. It was modest enough to keep your intentions for dressing up hidden from your parents, but it was revealing enough to make you feel confident to face your hot neighbor for an official introduction.

The next half an hour is spent following your mom’s instructions, most of them being silent points of her finger while she’s absorbed in another task. Every so often you make eye contact with Chris through the patio door, him in the middle of the same treatment from your dad out by the grill.

At one point, your mom is so tunnel-visioned that when you finish the last assignment she’d given you, you slip out to where your dad and brother are now lounging in the chairs around the table on one side of the deck. The metal scrapes against the wood as you pull out one and take a seat, sighing gratefully when Chris passes you a beer from the cooler next to him. The cap twists off with a hiss and a pop, the water from the melted ice dripping onto your chest. As you tip the bottle to your lips and dab off the water before it runs down your skin to the neckline of your dress, the Millers walk up the steps at the side of the deck, tumbling greetings over each other.

Your dad stands, your brother behind him as they take a few steps to meet Joel and Tommy halfway. Polite handshakes are exchanged while you get up out of your seat, beer left on the table to go get the embarrassment over with.

Sarah stands shyly next to her dad, her little shoulder completely encompassed by her dad’s hand as she looks up at all the men around her starting to talk about the latest Astros game. You smile softly at her and give her a wave as you move to stand with everyone, a slight smile growing on her face at someone acknowledging her. She steps away from her subtle hiding place next to Joel, the movement causing Joel to glance down at her before his eyes turn up to you.

A friendly smile ticks up one side of his mouth, brown eyes speckling with caramel highlights as he squints in the sunlight to take a step forward and reach out his hand to you.

“I’m Joel, the new neighbor.”

You give him a firm, polite handshake with a warm grin attached to it, nodding your head. 

Please dear God, or whatever is out there, don’t let him mention this morning.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. Hope today hasn’t been too much of a nightmare moving in.” Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you can’t help but feel them turn to butterflies when his eyes darken ever so slightly at the word ‘sir’, hand quickly falling out of yours and resting back on Sarah’s shoulder as he clears his throat quietly.

“Hasn’t been too bad, right bug? You wanna introduce yourself?” His eyebrows raise encouragingly to his daughter and the nickname warms your heart, watching as Sarah grows more confident to stand up straight, a smile on her face.

“My name’s Sarah,” she directs towards you and then turns to her dad, waving him to crouch down to her level so she can whisper at the not-so-subtle kid's volume, “What do I say after that?”

Joel chuckles lightly and whispers back to her quietly enough for you not to hear. He stands up straight again, watching Sarah.

“It’s nice to meet you, miss!” she turns to Joel again, beaming proudly, “Is that right?”

He nods and looks back at you as you laugh softly, a wide smile on your face from the adorable and incredibly polite greeting Sarah’s given you. His own smile pulls larger as you bend down to be at eye level with her, warmth emanating from you introduce yourself just as Sarah did and fall into conversation with her.

She tells you all about her last school year in the first grade, her favorite toys, and how excited she is for her summer camp. The two of you have moved to sit next to each other on the outdoor couch, your drink forgotten next to you as you listen to the bubbly seven-year-old.

Joel and Tommy stay in conversation with your dad and Chris near the grill, standing around in a semi-circle and making small talk about sports, weather, and the sturdiness of your deck. Joel and Tommy mentioned having a contracting business together, and your dad ran with it, asking them every question under the sun about the longevity of the build that was done a few years ago.

Your mom comes out to join them for a bit, sitting with you and Sarah as you talk with each other before she gathers all the meat fresh off the grill to bring inside and finish setting up everything.

A few more minutes pass before your mom pops her head out and calls everyone in to make a plate. You stand up and wait for Sarah to climb off the couch, following behind her bouncy curls. Everyone’s made it through the door ahead of you, except for Joel as he lingers to wait for his daughter. One of his hands finds her head as he carefully ushers her inside, turning to you with a sincere look in his eyes.

“Thanks for keeping her entertained. She loves to talk, doesn’t really get that from me,” he drawls out, his accent a bit thicker than yours. You shake your head, waving a hand at him to dismiss him.

“She’s the one keeping me entertained, I’m surprised I’m not boring her with my lack of summer plans to discuss. She’s very excited for day camp,” you chuckle quietly, still standing less than a foot from Joel at the sliding door. You can smell the body wash he must’ve used in the shower before coming over, fresh eucalyptus and birch mixing with the richer cedarwood and bergamot of what you assume is his cologne.

“Oh, yeah. Big time. She was begging me to sign her up finally this year and it made sense with my work schedule getting busier. But, still, thanks for hanging out with her.” He nods toward the door, gesturing for you to walk in ahead of him. His hand hovers behind your back as you step in ahead of him, fingers brushing your dress lightly before he quickly pulls them away.

You stand to the side to let the guests go through to get their food first, Joel helping Sarah put everything she wants onto a plate while balancing his own. Tommy happily starts eating what’s already on his plate halfway through the line, earning a jab in the side from his older brother. Once everyone’s gotten what they wanted, you all pile back outside to the deck to sit around and eat.

The table isn’t large enough for everyone, so it ends up being your parents, Chris, and Tommy sitting around it while you, Joel, and Sarah sit around the patio lounge set. Sarah happily sits on the ground at the coffee table, you slipping a cushion down for her to rest on before sitting in one of the chairs across from the couch.

Joel’s settled next to his daughter, facing you as he wipes his mouth with his napkin.

“So, uh, your dad said you’re going into your last year at TCU? What’re you studying?”

“Public Relations and Advertising. I’m hoping—”

“She wants to move to Boston!” Sarah interjects with a mouthful of hotdog bun.

Joel looks at her with a gently reprimanding look, “Bug, please don’t talk with your mouth full. ‘S not polite.”

He turns back to you after patting his daughter’s curls, lips curled up to one side.

“Boston, huh? What’s all the way up there?”

“Not here,” you laugh softly, shrugging your shoulders as you stab a piece of potato salad with your fork, “I love Austin, don’t get me wrong, but living here my whole life and going to school only three hours away in Fort Worth feels like I haven’t seen much outside of Texas. Plus, there’re some good agencies up there and it’s not as scary of a move like New York or Los Angeles would be.”

Joel nods in understanding, speaking up after he finishes a bite, “I get that. Haven’t lived anywhere but Austin my whole life, but I can understand wanting to experience new things.”

You might be imagining things, but you swear you can hear his voice drop deeper in the last half of his sentence. It sends a flutter between your legs, and the back of your neck burns with chagrin.

Conversation continues to flow easily between you and Joel, and Sarah, too. Your parents don’t ask you to help clean up because you’re so invested, laughing quietly at his subtle humor and smiling widely when Sarah adds in her commentary or tells a story.

Tommy and Chris join you all on the lounge furniture, falling into a wider group discussion of neighborhood politics and what fun things you and Chris got up to when you were around Sarah’s age.

Joel’s eyes stay trained on you whenever you're speaking, even glancing at you when you’re both listening to someone else. The eye contact from him stirs your stomach and hitches your breath, your own stare avoiding his when it gets a bit too intense.

Hours are consumed quickly, the twilight blue skies dimming your backyard so that only the porch and string lights illuminate the deck. Low light and the late hour have soothed Sarah to sleep, her small frame tucked into Joel’s side. He keeps a hand on her back while she rests, everyone looking at her tenderly.

Joel asks you and your mom if you know of any other neighbors with young kids that are going to the park district day camp for the summer, wondering if there’s a possibility to carpool or arrange some care for Sarah when he’s got a busy schedule.

Not knowing anything yourself since you don’t live here full time anymore, you turn to your mom and watch as the gears turn in her head, eyes lighting up with an idea.

“Actually, haven’t you been looking for a summer job, honey? Maybe you could nanny Sarah! Drop her off when Joel can’t, pick her up every day, and watch her until Joel gets home from work. That is, if you’d be interested in that, Joel.”

Your mouth opens and closes as you try to stutter out a response, feeling a bit flustered at your mom’s out-of-the-blue suggestion. Plus, you aren’t sure you could manage to work for your hot neighbor and to see him often; it was one thing to have a crush and pine freely from afar, but spending time in his house? Seeing him every day?

Your thighs press together as your mind races with thoughts about more of Joel in all aspects.

Being the ever-so-polite Southern daughter you were raised to be, you turn to Joel with a glittering smile and nod despite the stomach acid creeping up your throat with your nerves.

“I’d love to help out if you need it. Spending my summer with Sarah would be fun.”

At your confirmation of the offer, Joel pauses for a moment to look down at his sleeping daughter, heading swinging back to you with a boyish grin on his face.

“Guess that solves my problem then. Think you can start next week? Her first day is Wednesday.”

Arrangements are made with Joel as the Miller crew gets ready to leave, your own family have said their goodbyes and retiring inside to clean up after the night. Joel and you stand on the deck next to the stairs that lead to your side yard and over to their house. He shifts on his feet, passing Sarah from his arms to Tommy’s for his younger brother to get her home.

Joel’s arms stretch up briefly, giving you the slightest peek at the bottom of his stomach when his t-shirt lifts. Saliva floods your mouth as the thought of kissing there when you’re on your knees for him passes through your mind quickly. 

Stop thinking about him like that. Yeah, he’s hot but he’s also now going to be employing you.

“Thanks again for offering to nanny, Sarah. She’s gonna be real excited when I tell her in the mornin’. You sure you don’t wanna take the out now?” His hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, a coy smile on his face.

“It’s really no problem at all. Like I said, I think it will be a fun summer.” 

There’s no hidden meaning to your words, but for some reason Joel drops your stare after you speak, glancing down at his boots before he raises his head again, his smile a hint wider.

His drawl coats the words as he replies, “Well, it’s definitely gonna be somethin’, sweetheart.”

Joel turns on the heel of his boot, bounding down the short staircase and over toward his yard. He looks back once, a short wave raised towards you as he calls out a ‘goodnight’ to your frozen frame on your deck.

The front door of the Miller house clicks closed and you finally exhale the breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. Slow movements carry you inside and up to your room, flopping down to your bed on your back. One had rested on your stomach filled with butterflies, the other over your heart to feel the quickened rhythm.

Joel was right, this summer was definitely going to be something. And you were eager to find out what exactly it could be.

series taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @clingontolife @elizabeth01585 @wandaandellie @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @livinxdeadxgrl @sw33tp1xie @starsandsaints07 @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @whydontyoysaynodoja @beee-haw @shmaptainshmerica07 @jenna-mcgraw19 @whore-4-pedro @spursgirl14-blog @katifefe @joelmillerswifu @itsgiorgiaz @soph55 @grapejuicesny @wild-hearts-runfree @youcancallmeelle @lisa-ru @jupitren @ziggy-star @miaispunk @oneofutoo @starkovli @thatgeminigirlx @marchai @bunnyskisses @houseofballoonsth @casual-obsessions @pedro-pascal-lvr @bimbodolls-world @burningnerdchild @tuquoquebrute @mrsvedder12 @estelivi28 @helllsent @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @brittmb115 @angie2274 @owod3 @pedrostories @pedroholicx @theelishad @johnwatsn

[terribleinfluence-tour]

North America Timezones to UK BST Timezone Guide

This is just a quick guide to show start times in of Terrible Influence Shows while Dan and Phil are in North America converted to the time it will be in the UK.

I will at the end of this link to a world clock website too for your own conversions because the sheer amount of timezones I would need to cover is too many for one post!

This goes off the assumption that these shows start at 8pm local time and the M&G starts at 5pm (like the european leg did, if this changes or i worked it out wrong i will update this post)

This conversion will be BST until October 27th and after that it will become GMT which is an hour behind BST.

Dates and Times under the cut

Seattle 6* & 7 Oct - Portland 8 Oct - Vancouver 9 Oct - Oakland 11 Oct - Phoenix 13 Oct - San Diego 17 Oct - LA 18 Oct:

M&G - 1am BST

Show - 4am BST

*This M&G will likely start earlier

Salt Lake City 20 Oct - Denver 21 Oct:

M&G - 12am BST

Show - 3am BST

Kansas City 23 Oct - Grand Prairie Oct 24 - Austin 25 Oct:

M&G - 11pm BST

Show - 2am BST

St. Louis 27 Oct:

M&G - 10pm GMT

Show - 1am GMT

Detroit 28 Oct - Akron 29 Oct - Indianapolis 30 Oct:

M&G - 9pm GMT

Show - 12am GMT

Milwaukee 1 Nov - Minneapolis 2 Nov - Chicago 3 Nov:

M&G - 10pm GMT

Show - 1am GMT

Toronto 5 Nov - Philadelphia 8 Nov - New York 10 Nov - Tysons 11 & 12 Nov - Atlanta 14 Nov - Tampa 16 Nov - Orlando 17 Nov - Fort Lauderdale 18 Nov - Durham 20 Nov:

M&G - 9pm GMT

Show - 12am GMT

Nashville 21 Nov:

M&G - 10pm GMT

Show - 1am GMT

Boston 24 Nov - Reading 25 Nov - Red Bank 26 Nov:

M&G - 9pm GMT

Show - 12am GMT

World Clock:

[leavememorieshere]

Day 13th is making me bit my nails ngl

[somuchforstardust]

SO MUCH FOR (TOUR) DUST LINK MASTERLIST 

hi everyone due to my problems and issues i have a limited ability to care about what’s going on during this tour as it’s happening unfortunately this does not stop me from being crazy insane. so below is my link hoarding. everything besides the surprise songs is mostly whatever i personally wanted to be able to access again but since i’m sharing this with the public, if there’s anything you would like added i’ll add it if you send me the link. fall out boy forever ❤️

MAGIC 8 BALL SURPRISE SONG

6/21/23 - GINASFS (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

7/2/23 - First of two 8 Ball songs on LA Night 1 (x) (x) (x)

7/30/23 - Second of two 8 Ball songs in Toronto (x) (x)

8/2/23 - Second of two 8 Ball songs in Boston (x) (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Third of three 8 Ball songs in Camden (x)

6/23/23 - Gin Joints (x) (x) (joe requesting it ❤️)

6/24/23 - Sophomore Slump (x) (joe looking confused ❤️)

7/3/23 - Performed with William Beckett on LA Night 2 in the place of "Takeover" (x) (x) (x)

6/28/23 - (After) life of the Party (clip) (clip)

7/3/23 - First of two 8 ball songs on LA Night 2 (x) (x)

6/30/23 - Homesick at Space Camp (x) (x)

7/3/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” at LA Night 2 (couldn't find a link 😞)

7/16/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” in IN

7/1/23 - (Coffee's for Closers) (x) (x) (clip) (clip)

7/2/23 - America's Suitehearts (x) (x)

7/3/23 - Bang the Doldrums (x) (x) (x) (x) (clip)

7/9/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" in Denver (x)

7/16/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" in Noblesville (x)

7/19/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" in Bristow (clip) (pete bridge)

7/24/23 -  Played in the place of "Takeover" in West Palm Beach (x)

7/26/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" in Atlanta (x)

8/2/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" with “I’m Shipping Up to Boston” intro in Boston (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/5/23 - Played in the place of "Takeover" in Holmdel (x) (x)

7/5/23 - Patron Saint (x) (x) (x, pete talks to a member of the crowd) (clip)

7/7/23 - The Kids Aren't Alright (clip) (clip) (clip)

7/9/23 - Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner (x) (x)



7/11/23 - Slept With Someone (clip) (clip) (pete scream ❤️)

7/13/23 - Fame Infamy (x) (x) (clip)

7/15/23 - Favorite Record (x) (x)

7/16/23 - Where Did the Party Go (x) (x) (x)

7/18/23 - 27 (x) (x) (x) (clip) (clip) (clip) (clip)

7/19/23 - Played in the place of “Headfirst Slide” in Bristow (clip) (joelo)

8/1/23 - Second of two 8 Ball songs at Forest Hills (x) (x) (x)

8/4/23 - Second of two 8 Ball songs in Darien Lake (x) (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Second of three 8 Ball songs in Camden (x)

7/19/23 - She's My Winona (x) (clip) (clip) (clip)

7/21/23 - Dead On Arrival (x) (x) (x)

7/25/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” in Tampa (x) (x) (x)

8/2/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” in Boston (x) (x) (x)

8/5/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” in Holmdel (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Played in the place of “Chicago Is So” in Camden (with Royal & the Serpent!) (x)

7/22/23 - 7 Minutes (x) (x) (x) (x) (clip) (Patrick on drums!)

8/1/23 - Played in the place of “Takeover” in Forrest Hills (x)

7/24/23 - Tell That Mick (x) (patrick forgets the words)

7/25/23 - Miss Missing You (x) (x) (x) (x)

7/26/23 - From Now On We Are Enemies (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

7/29/23 - Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am? (x)

7/30/23 - West Coast Smoker (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/1/23 - I Am My Own Muse (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/5/23 - Second of two 8 Ball songs in Holmdel (x) (x) (x)

8/2/23 - XO (x) (x) (x) (x) 

8/4/23 - You’re Crashing (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/5/23 - Bob Dylan (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Pavlove (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

PATRICK PIANO MEDLEY

6/21/23 - Lake Shore Drive (x) (x) (x)

6/23/23 - What A Time To Be Alive (x)

6/24/23 - Like A Lawyer (x)

6/27/23 - Somebody to Love/ Take On Me

6/28/23 - What a Catch (x)

6/30/23 - Spotlight (x) (x)

7/1/23 - Nothing Compares 2 U (x, mentions pete requested it :) )

7/2/23 - Mr. Blue Sky/ Golden (x) (x) 

7/3/23 - Every Breath You Take/ All This Ringing (x)

7/5/23 - Alison/ What a Catch (x) (x)

7/7/23 - What A Time To Be Alive / Hold the Line 

7/9/23 - Goin’ North / Golden 

7/11/23 - Peace, Love, and Understanding/ What a Catch

7/15/23 - What a Catch/ Golden (x)

7/16/23 - What A Time To Be Alive / Golden (bug)

7/18/23 - Hallelujah/ Like a Lawyer

7/19/23 - Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner (acoustic guitar) (x, + intro)

7/21/23 - Lean On Me/ What a Catch (x) (clip)

7/22/23 - What A Time To Be Alive/ Golden (x)

7/24/23 - Dancing Queen/ Golden (x) (patrick doesn’t know the words)

7/25/23 - What a Catch/ Golden (no link 😞)

7/26/23 - Nothing Compares 2 U/ All This Ringing (x) (x) (x)

7/29/23 - What A Time To Be Alive/ Golden (no link 😞)

7/30/23 - What a Time to Be Alive/ Golden (x)

8/1/23 - What a Catch/ Just One Yesterday/ Stereo Hearts/ Cupid’s Chokehold  (with Travie McCoy!) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/2/23 - w.a.m.s./ Sweet Caroline (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/4/23 - Get Busy/ Golden (x) (x)

8/5/23 -  I’ve Got A Dark Alley/ What A Catch (x) (x) (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Jet Pack Blues/ I’ve Got A Dark Alley/ Golden (x) (x) (x) (x)

FULL SET

6/21/23 - Chicago @ Wrigley Field

6/27/23 - The Woodlands @ Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

6/28/23 - Dallas @ Dos Equis Pavillion (x)

7/1/23 - Chula Vista @ North Island Credit Union Amphitheatre

7/2/23 - Los Angeles @ BMO Stadium Night 1

7/3/23 - Los Angeles @ BMO Stadium Night 2 (x)

7/13/23 - Somerset @ Somerset Amphitheater

7/21/23 - Charlotte @ PNC Music Pavilion

7/30/23 - Toronto @ Budweiser Stage (x)

8/2/23 - Boston @ Fenway Park (x) (x)

8/6/23 - Camden @ Freedom Mortgage Pavilion

RIFF WITH PATRICK

obviously very incomplete i gave up whatever

6/27/23 - 20% Gatorade 

6/28/23 - “you weren’t in my ears, i don’t know what you just said”

7/2/23 - “the stadium has a bit of a new car smell”

7/5/23 - “we met a bunch of flight attendants today”

7/7/23 - “riff with patrick”

7/11/23 - “i’m gonna go play super mario brothers”

7/15/23? - “collect my bracelet please” 

7/16/23 - “everyone on the lawn is a cardboard cutout” (x)

7/19/23 - “let’s have a chat”

7/22/23 - “thought we’d have a conversation” also pete says the word headcanon

7/25/23 - “what do your clothes look like when they’re dry?”

7/26/23 - Patrick wants Pete to set him up for his wet clothes joke

8/1/23 - “not just another song”

8/4/23 - Patrick looks like a teddy bear and gets the job done

MISC PETE 💞

6/21/23 - “this is my favorite band”

6/21/23 - lava boots speech

6/21/23 - a little dance during Saturday

6/23/23 - i am just the planets spinning around you

6/28/23 - no comment 💖

7/2/23 - this video emma took <3

7/3/23 - this story about smoking weed and going to horror nights

7/3/23 - “i don’t lie under a blanket and think about dying anymore”

7/9/23 - breaking up a fight 

7/13/23 - Crazy Train from the tree

7/19/23 - Something about kissing?

7/26/23 - Headfirst Slide

7/29/23 - Pete in the box

8/1/23 - Pete spots Rob Hitt from Midtown in the crowd

MISC PETERICK 💖

6/28/23 - assorted momence

7/2/23 - watching New Found Glory together

7/5/23 - Pete starts talking about Succession and Patrick distracts him (just the “lost in the sauce” bit)

7/19/23 - elbow on shoulder shimmy :)

7/19/23 - patrick complains about complaining about the billy joel cover 

7/7/23, 7/19/23, 8/2/23 Baby Annihilation magic trick 

7/21/23? - “more than an hour” mishap (x)

EXTRA STUFF

6/21/23 - Patrick hugs Joe on his tippy toes ❤️ (closer pics)

7/1/23 - Saturday with Mikey Way (x) (x) (x)

7/3/23 - Stopped the show to help a fan and discuss how to restart

7/22/23 - Joe dancey during gta

7/24/23 - Last of the Real Ones shoulder squeeze (gif)

7/29/23 - Coffee Mug cover

8/1/23 - Tiktok from Travie (featuring feet off the ground Pete hug ❤️)

8/1/23 - Feet off the ground Travtrick hug ❤️ (x)

8/6/23 - Joe chant

INTERVIEWS

Pete & Patrick Zane Lowe Interview

Tim's Listening Party (track by track smfs commentary)

this random interview where pete has space buns

3/17/23 - Pryzm in Kingston Q&A

3/23/23 - SiriusXM Interview

7/3/23 - KROQ Q&A + Performance (bunny puppet interview)

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What if the Animorphs got duck morphs earlier (Or to expand on it, you could do what if they'd gotten their more useful morphs earlier).

Oh man, I think the answer to this one depends really strongly on:

How far away Joe Bob Finestre lives from their hometown (#16)

How far Grandpa G lived from civilization (#31)

How far from civilization Cassie ends up when she and Aftran are stuck in the woods together (#19), and most especially:

How far away Dan moves when he leaves the state (#7)

All of those are instances where the ability to travel fairly fast for a long time could make a difference. However, "long time" and "fairly fast" are relative — I think it's safe to assume that duck morph would speed the kids' return from the Arctic (#25) but it wouldn't get them home instantly either.

But duck morph would've made a huge difference in MM2. Rachel and Tobias are close enough to Marco et al. that they see the smoke from their campfire, but also far enough away that Rachel would have to leave Tobias alone (and injured) for several hours to go investigate the smoke. If either one of them had duck morph, then it'd be a quick 50+ MPH flight there and back — the others are at most ~30 miles away — and they'd soon be reunited.

Otherwise... it depends. #16 would be very different if the kids were able to fly out to WAA HQ anytime they felt like it; they wouldn't rush in and Jake wouldn't be fucked up by nearly dying to the point where he screws the whole mission. But we don't know if WAA is in, say, Nevada (an easy duck flight from So Cal) or in Virginia (a weeks-long one). Grandpa G is within driving and Bug Fighter flying distance of Jake's home, but not within 2-hour raptor-flight distance — again, duck could make a huge difference or no difference at all. Cassie has other reasons for not morphing wolf and leaving Karen to die, but if she could make a quick trip home and then back to the cave while Aftran is asleep then that book would have gone very differently.

And the big one for me would be whether Rachel thinks she can move away with her dad and remain an Animorph. Because I think she would, if given the chance. She wants to live with her dad not her mom — she feels forced into staying by the war. It'd be hard for her to live in Phoenix and fight the war in San Diego, and she'd miss out a lot, but it'd be doable with duck morph. But if she's choosing to stay in San Diego or join her dad in Boston: fuggedaboudit.

[fannyyann]

Tkachuk tells NHL.com how change in approach lifted game for Panthers

Forward no longer playing it safe, becomes ultimate clutch player in Florida

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – There was a time in Matthew Tkachuk’s life when he played it safe. It’s hard to remember now, hard to get that image out of your head, the one where he is crushing opponents and taking over Stanley Cup Playoff games and literally walking off the ice after scoring a game-winning goal in the fourth overtime of Game 1 of the 2023 Eastern Conference Final. 

It’s hard to remember there was a before. 

But there was.

Once upon a time, like most mortals, Tkachuk didn’t want to make a mistake. He didn’t want to be blamed. He didn’t want to err, to let down his teammates, the fans, himself. It was a time when he wasn’t quite as confident, wasn’t quite as assured -- if that can be believed -- when he didn’t know that, for him, safe was the riskiest play of all. 

“I think maybe earlier in my career, being a young player, not wanting to be the guy that made the mistake, [I] maybe played a little bit safe in the high-pressure situations,” Tkachuk said. “Just trying to play it smart and, honestly, safe’s a perfect word for it. 

“And then a couple years ago, I was like, why not make the play when nobody else wants to try to attempt it because they’re too nervous [about] what bad’s gonna happen? And I’ve seemed to go the other way, in the extreme other way, and that’s seemed to work the last few years.”

Tkachuk pinpoints it exactly, to 2021-22, his final season with the Calgary Flames, before the trade, before he landed in South Florida and became a genre-crossing star, before he helped propel the Panthers to the Stanley Cup Final last season. 

“I was like, ‘Why not?’” Tkachuk said. “Why wouldn’t you want to be the guy that can make that right play at the last minute of the game or whatever? … I’m like, I’m capable, I feel like I’m a good enough player where I can be confident in myself no matter what the situation is. And that’s just kind of kept going.”

The Panthers and Tkachuk will need it to keep going, as they head to the playoffs having hit a tough skid of late. The Panthers, who are set to face the Boston Bruins at TD Garden on Saturday (3:30 p.m. ET; ABC, ESPN+, SN, TVAS), are 3-6-1 in their past 10 games, including a 6-0 win against the Ottawa Senators on Thursday. 

They are second in the Atlantic Division, four points behind the Bruins, having clinched a playoff spot on March 28, a far cry from last season when the Panthers clinched with a single game remaining on their schedule. They then fell behind 3-1 in the best-of-7 first-round series against the Bruins. That was when they -- and Tkachuk -- came roaring back to force a Game 7. To win that Game 7. 

“I knew what he could bring on a stage like that, but I don’t think the whole rest of the world knew what he could do,” brother and Senators captain Brady Tkachuk said. “So for him to show what he was all about is pretty cool. And I think he’s got another level to his game.”

Paul Maurice thinks he knows why. 

The Panthers coach has seen a handful of players in his career who are elite, who might even rise to the level of potential Hockey Hall of Fame players. And when he’s viewing them, he notes something, something that seems to be common to all of them.

“I watch them and they have a higher expectation of the result,” Maurice said. “And the analogy I used [was] when that guy goes in and buys a suit, he expects it to fit right and it’s going to look good. He has an expectation of the result. 

“With Matthew, it seems to me, it’s tied, there’s four minutes [left], he’s excited about that situation because he has a really high expectation that something good’s going to happen because over the course of his life, that’s exactly what’s happened. It wasn’t a lottery. It’s just he’s gone out and made it happen, so he wants to and believes it can. 

“I never sensed any arrogance on him. I truly have not. It’s not like, hey, give me the puck, I’m the shooter. He just thinks when he hits the ice, it could happen, and his life has told him that it could happen. So why wouldn’t you enjoy the hell out of that?”

Oh, and he is. 

Not only has South Florida been a revelation for Tkachuk, so too has the team, which has entered into the top echelon of the NHL. He has figured out himself and his game, not only that he can -- and will -- come up big in the biggest of moments, but that he can also adjust to fit what the team requires, mold his game to the situation. 

Asked if he is a chameleon, he readily agrees. 

Especially in the playoffs. 

“I look at those types of playoff games differently,” Tkachuk said. “Like some people if they’re not producing, they’re not doing too much to help their team, whereas one of the good things that I’m able to do is recognize what my team needs out of me on that particular night or that particular shift. 

“There are some nights when offense comes second and all I’m trying to do is run around, be physical, try to forecheck and try to gain my team momentum like that. Even if teams are keying in on me or really focusing on me, there’s ways to make an impact.”

No one can argue with that. The Bruins still bear the scars -- some literal, some figurative -- of what Tkachuk did to them in the playoffs last spring. 

In the final four games of the first-round series, Tkachuk had eight points (four goals, four assists) to help them win the best-of-7 series. 

Boston forward Trent Frederic, who traces his understanding of Tkachuk back to basement games as kids in St. Louis, said that he thinks that, likely, had Tkachuk not been on the Panthers, the Bruins would have advanced. 

But he was. They didn’t. And now it’s not hard to believe that many teams are uninterested in seeing the Panthers on the opposing bench in the playoffs, in seeing Tkachuk on the opposing bench. 

Before a cracked sternum forced him to miss the fifth and final game of the last season’s Cup Final, Tkachuk had 24 points (11 goals, 13 assists), including four game-winning goals, in 20 playoff games. 

“So the playoffs, I think the one quote, he’s a [expletive] gamer, that’s how I feel about him in the playoffs last year. And I know it’s profane, but it’s also very specific words, it’s exactly the way I feel about him,” Maurice said. “Sometimes the words just fit. Sometimes they’re casual and you swear too much. Sometimes I do. But that is how I -- a [expletive] gamer. He comes up with the biggest plays time and time again. And his energy level to be able to play at that level, that was specific to the hockey. 

“This year, I’ve gotten to watch what an incredible leader he is.”

He sees it on the bench, in the exhortation of his teammates, in his calming of them, in his barking at them. He sees it when he brought a friend and his two kids into the dressing room after a game in Detroit, when Tkachuk paused in his postgame showering routine to sign a jersey, to take a picture, to get Carter Verhaeghe out of the shower to sign the other jersey. 

“I don’t even blame players who don’t sign,” Maurice said. “But he doesn’t have to do that, and he does that consistently. … It’s not fake. It’s not showy. I think he understands the responsibility that he has and he takes care of it.”

There are so many responsibilities heaped on Tkachuk now. 

He is a leader on the ice and off it. He is the second-leading scorer, with 83 points (24 goals, 59 assists), the top chirper and certainly the most talked about player on the Panthers. And he is ready, once again, to receive that pressure. He is ready for the playoffs. He is ready for the eyes and the lights and all that comes with it.

“I enjoy it,” Tkachuk said. “I think that the high intense games and the rivalry games and the, just like the intense part of the games that some guys might not feel too confident or comfortable, I seem to thrive in them and I love those moments.”

There will be no shortage of those moments in the waning days of the season, in the start of the playoffs, as the Panthers attempt to replicate their Cinderella run to the Final last season -- without the Cinderella part. 

Because much like the Panthers, who have been at or near the top of the NHL all season, there will be no surprises when it comes to Tkachuk. He is known, now. Known for stealing games, for coming up big in the biggest moments, for never, ever playing it safe. 

And when the pressure comes, as it will, he will be right there. 

“Knowing him, that’s going to make him go to another level,” Brady Tkachuk said. “And I think for him, he’s going to love, not the spotlight, but the opportunity that comes from that and what he’s going to be able to do with that. He gets better when the pressure is higher.”

[ratlordsarah]

more word girl HCs bc this blog is going dry 💀

miss question, lady redundant woman, and Leslie have girls nights out, but they always end up where they wake up crawling out of a dumpster, wake up in a Forrest completely barefoot in 60 degree F weather swarmed by deer, makes it back to one of the three’s places, all of them drunk-crying about how much they love a dog they saw earlier, wake up with a new stray dog as a pet, or some other form of ominous nuanced way to end the night out. (You will have the time of your life)

Two brains def goes on long car rides during the summer as the sun sets, blasting 80s songs down the highway, and makes it back some time in the middle of the night (bro absolutely lives for that, he sings along with more passion than a passion fruit or something)

the girlie trio mentioned earlier, all 3 of them are abba girlies, no one can change my mind.

sometimes, the girl trio and two brains will do a mix of their activities, and they ride around and two brains is doing drifts all over the city while all 4 of them are singing whatta man by salt n pepa, at the top of their lungs

Charlie and meatloaf love doing anything involved with a disco party (they are 70s babies for life)

the show starts in august of 1999 and ends in February 2002

Toby sings along to all the Eminem songs, but can’t rap so it sounds more like a mumble

(Partly canon) miss question and Brent later get married and has a kid who is a very curious sandwich

chuck has the pack man maze burnt into his screen from playing it so much

Seymour and granny may are either half siblings, or cousins. (I gotta make them related, their chemistry would be absolutely legendary)

Seymour is OLDDD (at least in his 60s)

two brains knows how to speak mouse and because of this, he basically has the basement of his warehouse (or attic) dedicated to the rats and mice of fair city. (A majority of his friends are mice, he will hang out with some of them and genuinely forget they aren’t human)

due to the amount of trials two brains goes through each time he’s arrested, and sally botsford being the district attorney, two brains and sally actually become really good friends

two brains is actually really good at becoming genuine friends with people’s moms, it’s insane.

Timmy Tim Bo later makes a band where he’s a backup singer/ guitarist, and can do a little drums too.

Hal hardbargain and big left hand guy are both functional alcoholics

beau handsome’s parents are French, and is a victim of child acting.

lady redundant woman becomes a crazy cat lady, and adopts like 30 cats

(A lot of people I’ve seen has this hc, no idea where it originated from, but here we go) amazo guy’s name is Adam, and he definitely had a pet golden retriever

on the topic of that, I like to think he also is from lexicon, and he’s wordgirl’s biological father or uncle, and Steven’s original friendship with word girl was asked from amazo guy to try and get closer to his daughter/neice, but they all basically became the bestest of friends (and wordgirl looked up to both amazo and Steven very much)

I also feel like amazo (or Adam ) genuinely loves fighting crime, and basically is like Superman in fair city

fair city is either located in New Jersey or California

Steven’s sister is named Marcy, and his niece is named Maggie (called mags tho)

squeaky was genetically modified and his brain was basically originally fused with a psycho’s brain where it’s basically a human thinking mouse with mouse like tendencies, before Steven bought him, which is why he was on sale (for negative 200$)

The butcher would be girl dad of the year

when Steven is really angry (once in a life time) he does the Italian 🤌 thing, and he grew up in Brooklyn NY

due to him growing up in New York, two brains was certainly most pissed when 9/11 happened out of the villains

chuck grew up in Boston before his family moved to fair city about 7 years prior to the show

idk if I have previously said any of these in an earlier post, so sorry if I have lmao 💀

[jessicaloons]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince:

Chapter 1

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Miss Americana

May 2019:

"And you’re sure you can handle it? I mean working here and college?" Peter Hastings was a nice, middle aged man, looking for a new nanny for his 6 year old son, Gabriel.

"I’ll wake him up at 7:15. Make breakfast and get him ready for school, drop him off at 8:30 and go to my classes. At 3 I’ll pick him up. Help him with his homework. Soccer on Monday and Wednesday. Piano lesson on Tuesday. Prepare dinner. Make him bed ready and then you’ll take over. Monday till Thursday. Fridays I’ll pick him up at 12. We’re going to the park, museum, zoo whatever. Have lunch and I’ll bring him home by 4, where you take over. And if you need a babysitter on the weekends, you’ll call me." Rachel repeated the schedule Mr. Hastings had presented her with, hoping he would hire her.

"Impressive. Well your report looks great, I understand why you’ve got a scholarship for the MCPHS. I’d say you’ve got the job." Mr. Hastings smiled at the girl.

"Thank you, Sir! Really!"

"Gabriel liked you, you have strong ambitions. I think you’re perfect. Now let’s talk money, shall we?" he clapped his hands and Rachel nodded.

With a full scholarship and a well paid job that still gave her enough time for her studies, she could start saving up money to get the hell out of Woburn, after graduating from college with her nursing degree hopefully.

"I know this was not what you applied for, but I’ll ask anyways, if you say no, you’ll still keep your job starting in fall!" her new boss said and she looked up "My current nanny, well she left, family emergency, so I would need someone from now on, during the summer until you’ll take over at the end of August. I know, you just graduated and probably already planned your summer, but I thought I ask anyways. Again, feel free to say no, the job is yours regardless. It’s only one more month of school and then it’s… well a full day job, I’m off for the entire August, but before that I’m loaded with events here and there…"

"I’ll do it." Rachel said immediately, every reason to leave Woburn earlier was a good reason.

"Yeah? You sure? I mean like I said, you don’t have to!" Mr. Hastings said but the girl shook her head.

"No it’s fine. Really. I have nothing planned. And like this I can get used to Boston."

"You can stay here. Our old nanny has her own studio in the backyard. That way you don’t have to drive every morning from Woburn to here."

"Are you sure? It’s no problem for me to drive!"

"With traffic in the morning you’ll be in the car for an hour or longer. That’s ridiculous. Come on I’ll show you the studio. You could even stay there when you start college. Thinking back to my college times? The dorms weren’t the nicest place to stay." he laughed and got up, leading the young girl outside through the kitchen.

"I mean. I haven’t seen my dorm yet… but from what I’ve heard, yeah, not the nicest place to stay indeed."

The studio was clean and modern. A kitchenette, a table with two chairs. Sofa, TV and a bed. A little bathroom. It was definitely more quiet and private than any dorm at her college.

"Are you sure it’s okay?" the girl asked.

"100%. It’s yours if you want it. Free of charge. You just have to keep it clean yourself. And if you want to bring friends over, just give me a little heads up."

Free of charge. The money she would safe. Only paying the tuition fee. The rest of her scholarship could go into her savings as well. She could leave home earlier than planned. It couldn’t get better than this.

"I guess I’m moving in then."

November 2021:

Rachel always dreaded driving home. The rare occasions over the past 2 years where she had driven home were all proof why it was better to stay away. But something in her father’s voice when he asked her if she would come home for his birthday gave her the chills. When she parked her car in the driveway of her rundown childhood home, she felt the pit in her stomach grow. Calming down her nerves she opened up the door, walking inside. The house smelt rancid. A mix of liquor, smoke and bleach.

"Dad?" the girl walked inside the dark living room when suddenly the light got switched on. She flinched looking at the man sitting in the armchair facing her.

"If it’s not Miss Americana fresh off of college." Tony.

"Where’s my dad?" her voice not as strong as she hoped.

"Come." he got up and dragged her outside with him.

"Stop. Tony! Let go of me!" Rachel tried to get away from him.

"Get in the car. You can do it on your own or I’ll make you." his jaw clenched.

The girl got inside. Shaking.

"Where’s my dad?" she repeated.

"Your dad… he pissed off a lot of people… he was a capo once… but his drinking? Mamma Mia… he became useless the day your mother died… fallen from capo to soldato… and now? A shame really…" he sneered.

"What did he do?" Rachel asked with a shaking voice.

"Oh bella, you know I can’t tell you. Otherwise I’d have to kill you. And I really don’t want to kill such a pretty girl." he laughed and the girl swallowed hard "Just know that he owes a lot of people a lot of money…"

They drove to Winchester and the girl knew immediately where they were going.

"When was the last time you were here? When your mother died?" he asked, although he didn’t sound one bit empathetic "A long time ago… then again, it’s never a good sign if you have to go to Winchester… our family parties are usually held somewhere else…"

The driveway up the hill to the dark manor made Rachel’s insides churn.

"Get out." Tony parked the car and she did as told, following him inside.

"Oh Rachel! Mia bellissima ragazza! Look at you! What a beautiful, beautiful young lady! You should look for a girl like her, Anthony, not the skanks you’re going for." Rosaria Romano pulled Rachel in her arms, before kissing her cheeks "The last time I saw you was before you left for college and now look at you! You’re skinny! Don’t they feed you well at college? All the money they take and then not feeding their students? Che cavolo! You’re staying for dinner! Anthony, tell your father I’m feeding this sweet girl first, before he can talk to her!"

"Mamma! She’s not here to eat!" Tony grabbed the girls arm, but he shrugged away under the cold, hard gaze of his mother. He rolled his eyes, walking away, cursing in Italian.

"Now come, mia ragazza, you can help me with dinner." Rosaria lead her into the kitchen where already a handful of women were cooking away "Here, put that on. We don’t want your beautiful outfit to get stained with pomodori!"

The next hour Rachel cooked together with the ladies, told them about college and how her life was going. She knew all too well that she couldn’t tell them everything. Giving away too much was dangerous, so she lied mostly.

"And what about the boys at college? Someone special there for you?" nonna Viola asked right as Tony came back.

"She’s coming with me now." he grabbed Rachel’s arm, pulling her with him. A muscle ticked at his jaw. His hold on her arm made her whimper in pain.

"Anthony! You hurt her! Stop! Don’t make me swing my mattarello at you!" nonna Viola raised her rolling pin and Anthony let go of the girls arm "There you go, stupido!"

"Come." he glared at the girl who took off the apron, handing it Rosaria.

"When the men have finished whatever their having to talk about now, we’re finishing our conversation, Rachel." she smiled and Rachel nodded.

As she followed Tony down a long, dark hallway the bad feeling she had, since hearing her father’s voice on the phone earlier that day, only intensified.

When they stopped in front of a big oak door Tony pushed Rachel hard against it, caving her in. His nose rubbing down her cheek. His breath reeked of smoke and liquor.

"You won’t like what’s happening next and let me tell you, I understand you. But then again… mhhh look at you." he whispered in her ear, making the girl shudder "My mother wasn’t that wrong, I should go for a girl like you…"

"Anthony?" Don Vito’s cold voice rang out through the door.

"We’re here, papa!" Tony said with a sadistic grin.

"Bring her in then. We have a lot to do."

January 2022:

"Miss Lombardi? Miss Lombardi!" the screeching voice of Professor Cullers made Rachel flinch "Ah great. You are with us again… well, do you know the answer, to Miss Edwards question?"

"I- umm… I don’t. No." the girl looked at her professor "Sorry."

"Maybe stop daydreaming then and start listening to what I’m teaching you."

"Yes, ma’am." she nodded.

The rest of the class Rachel kept writing down everything Professor Cullers said, listening carefully and when the bell rang she was one of the last to leave.

"What’s going on with you?" Stuart asked, waiting at the door for her.

"What do you mean?" they walked side by side to their next course.

"You’re absent. Pretty often. For weeks now…"

"It’s nothing. I’m fine. I promise." Rachel faked a smile and Stuart sighed.

"Ok, cut the crap. What’s going on? Since you left for your father’s birthday a couple of weeks ago, you’re acting strange… what happened at home Rachel?" he looked at her and she took a deep breath, shaking her head.

Stuart was the only friend she made in college, he didn’t talk much, but there was a sense of understanding between the two after she accidentally overheard a conversation between him and a stranger behind the cafeteria one day. Rachel since knew that their backstory was similar and that he broke off all ties to his old life. He would understand her, if she told him what happened. But then again, she knew that she might endanger him if she told him too much.

"How hard was it? Leaving everything behind? Cutting off all ties to your family?" she asked instead and Stuart contemplated his answer for a moment.

"It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. But I had to do it, so I powered through…"

"But I mean… how did you do it? Where did you get your new identity from? What happened to your old one?" the blonde girl pressed.

"I know a guy who knows a guy… but it costs a lot… also, starting a new life somewhere new isn’t for free either."

Rachel thought for a second, all the money she saved from her scholarship so far, because she only had to pay for the tuition fee and work materials. All the money she saved from working for Peter, which she barely had touched. It was a nice little sum and should keep her afloat for a while.

"Why are you asking me all this? What happened?" Stuart asked again and Rachel sighed "You can tell me, Rach. Nothing you can say will scare me away… I know how you grew up… I know how it is… so come on, tell me."

"I need to leave. Like for real… I always planned on moving to Boston after college, but they won’t let me… I only have time after graduation and then my old life will catch up with me again… I will be pulled into this mess that my life is if I don’t run away." Rachel almost whispered and her friend looked at her wide eyed "They wanted me to leave college immediately but I managed to convince them that a nurse with a degree and all qualifications is more helpful, more useful for them, so they agreed, but as soon as I graduate they will take me back to Woburn or rather Winchester… I can’t go back, Stuart…"

"And you shouldn’t have to go back, but Rach this is a dangerous thing to do? Killing off your old self, start a new life… it’s going to cost you more than just money…" Stuart said and Rachel nodded.

"I’m willing to do whatever it takes…" the young girl said determined.

"Then I’ll help you. But it won’t be easy…"

"Everything is better than staying here…"

"I need to make a few calls, then we’ll see." Stuart smiled at her.

"Thanks Stu. You’re a good friend." Rachel squeezed his hand.

"I’m currently your only friend… so that’s that."

"True…"

April 2022:

"Rachel? There’s a letter for you!"

"Thanks, Peter!" the girl took the letter from the counter, while stirring the pasta sauce "Waterman and Krieger? What is that?" she asked when she saw the sender of the letter.

"They’re a law firm. Inheritance law if I’m not mistaken." Peter looked up from his newspaper.

"Inheritance law?" Rachel ripped the envelope open, unfolding the letter. She went silent, staring at the letter, the pasta sauce bubbling.

"Rach? Hey? Rach?" Peter grabbed the sauce pan and shoved it off the stove top "What happened?" he looked at the girl worriedly.

"My- umm… my mom… she left me some money…" Rachel said slowly, looking at Peter "They write that mom set up a trust fund for me before her death. I have access to the money when I turn 21. Which is in three months."

"Oh wow…" Peter squeezed her shoulder "Do you need a moment? I can finish up dinner and I’ll send Gabe to get you when it’s ready?"

"Is that okay?" the brunette asked and he nodded "Thank you."

Back in her studio she looked at the letter and saw that there was also another smaller envelope inside. She knew the handwriting immediately.

My sweet Rachel,

when you read this letter it means I am no longer around to gift you with my last treasure.

Every money I earned from winning beauty pageants and later from working and that wasn’t needed, I put aside for you.

I know you’re a smart girl and every college would offer you a full scholarship, but just to make sure that if not, we have the money.

I never told your dad about this money, I was too afraid that he would use it. Your father is a great man and I love him dearly. But he’s surrounded himself with the wrong people, they poisoned his mind. And over time he had to drink more and more to forget what he had to do daily for Don Vito.

Please don’t tell him about the money. Keep it to yourself. It’s enough for a fresh start, if you know what I mean.

I’m sorry, that I couldn’t be by your side for longer. That I couldn’t give you the home that you deserved.

Promise me to live a good life. Go live your dreams. But please never forget that I love you, my little Miss Americana.

Love always,

Mom

Rachel leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. When her mother died, she felt lost, didn’t know how to move forward, didn’t know how to continue with her life. Her father lost himself in alcohol, maybe even drugs. He disappeared for days, just to be laid down on the front porch by some of the men he worked with and for Rachel to get him inside, making sure he wouldn’t choke on his own vomit. She knew what he was doing. She knew who he worked for. From the day she was born she was part of a world she never wanted to be in, as she later realised. Movies and pop culture didn’t do this life justice. It wasn’t glorious or mysterious. It was scary and dark. Where other kids her age went to school and made new friends Rachel always had to stick to the kids from the family. To make sure she wouldn’t spill anything about her father’s work. Her mother had to fight hard with her husband to allow her to take Rachel to beauty pageants, after the little girl watched her mother getting dolled up for numerous pageants herself and wanting to be just like her when she was older. Rachel was talented, just like her mother. Her beauty apparent from a young age and it didn’t take long for her to win her first pageant. She loved competing in pageants. But what she loved even more was the time she spent with her mother. She was always so carefree and happy at the contests, a stark contrast to her usually quiet and almost depressed personality at home. She was always trying to not show Rachel how sad and worried she really was, but unfortunately it didn’t work out and Rachel had asked her more than once what was going on and why she was so sad.

"It’s nothing, my little Miss Americana, grown up stuff, nothing to worry about for you, my pretty girl." she had always said, followed by a kiss on Rachel’s forehead and a "I love you, my Rachel."

But with every year she got older she figured out more and more why her mother was so sad. And why the only times she was happy, careless and free, was when they went to pageants together. Because for a short while she could forget in what danger she was living with her daughter. What her husband did for a living. And the fear of the day where she, or worse Rachel, would have to pay the price of her husband’s job.

Ultimately she paid the price. After Rachel won the Miss Teen USA pageant in September 2016, and she had floated on cloud 9, her mother decided she deserved a treat and on the way home from Boston, where the pageant was held, she stopped at a little diner.

Rachel remembered how her mother ordered a strawberry milkshake and fries, she herself got a chocolate milkshake and fries and as soon as their food had arrived her mother looked around, a big grin on her lips before she nodded.

"No one’s watching… go!" she chimed and began dipping her fries into her milkshake.

Rachel laughed but did the same. Her father was always grossed out when his wife and daughter did that, laughing at them for their craziness, saying they better watch out or the food police would arrest them.

They were so happy that evening, her mother saying a million times how proud she was of her and what amazing and exciting times were ahead now for Rachel. But that happiness was gone in an instant when 2 men entered the dinner and her mother’s face turned to stone. She stopped laughing and looked at her daughter, shaking her head. To not draw any attention to them she silently held up her hand when the waitress looked over to them, signalling for her to come over. Paying in silence Rachel’s mother took her by the hand, guiding her outside, back into the car where she locked to doors immediately, starting the engine. She remembered how her mother called her father, telling him that two of Volkov’s men were at the diner. But before she could say anything she looked into the rear view mirror, her face turning pale when she told her husband that they were being followed. It didn’t take long for her mother to speed down the main road leading into Woburn, faster than ever before in her entire life. On speaker Rachel’s father telling her that their men were already on the way. But it was too late. She felt her mother grab onto her hand, clutching it tightly in her own, when the car was hit with something and soared through the air. She closed her eyes, holding onto the grab handle, listening to the sounds around her, when a searing pain shot through her left thigh. The pain was mind numbing and she tried her best to not focus on it. She tried to listen to the sounds around her but after a short while she only heard her own blood rushing into her ears. Then she felt her mother squeezing her hand and she opened her eyes, her first look was on the bright digital watch in the dashboard, then her mother squeezed her hand again and Rachel turned her head a little, looking at her.

"I’m so sorry, my beautiful Rachel. I love you so much." her final words as Rachel later had to find out.

After that night her father was never the same again. After that night Rachel was never the same again. She had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days, the doctors all confident that with the right care the wound on her right thigh, caused by an open break of her femur, would heal without leaving a big scar, so she could still compete in beauty pageants. But to her it didn’t matter. Without her mother she didn’t plan on continuing. And because of her not responding to any of the calls, mails or letters from the Miss Teen USA committee, regarding her upcoming tour through the United States, they stripped her off her title 6 weeks later, appointing her runner up, Caitlyn Summers, as new Miss Teen USA 2016.

Rachel absentmindedly rubbed her thigh, feeling the scarred skin through the thin fabric of her leggings. A reminder of the night that changed her life forever. That destroyed her life forever. She had to blink away tears, wiping her cheeks when Gabe knocked on the door, making her flinch.

"Rach! Dinner is ready!" his happy voice sounded through the door and the young girl cleared her throat.

"I’m coming in a minute Gabe!" she replied and listened to the sound of his steps on the gravel.

Rachel got up and looked into the mirror, wiping away the last remaining tears. It had been a while since she thought back to that night. The memories still too hurtful and real. After a minute of composure she followed Gabe back into the main house trying her best to not show the emotional turmoil she was feeling.

When Rachel went to bed that night she felt exhausted, drained, but also determined. Determined to escape her life in Woburn. Or Winchester. Escape her family. Live a happy life, just like her mother wanted her to. She would honour her mother’s last wish, give her all to do so. No matter what.

Chapter 1 - and that’s it. First chapter done. I tried something new this time, writing this story from a third-person perspective and also switching between Miss Americana/The Heartbreak Prince centred chapters. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! 🩷💜

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

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[lonestarbattleship]

"On this day in 1918, the German High Seas Fleet surrendered to the British Grand Fleet. USS TEXAS was there that day, following her sister USS NEW YORK, flagship of the 6th Battle Squadron. There was a great deal of concern that the High Seas Fleet might not surrender as agreed, but instead attack the Grand Fleet. Ultimately the surrender was given and accepted, all without firing a shot. A war correspondent was aboard TEXAS for the surrender and reported for The Boston Globe.

'In the raw, icy darkness of dawn[,] conditions on the TEXAS were just as on any other cruiser. In the wardroom after breakfast[] officers were scanning Life or the Cornhill or the Saturday Evening Post. At 7:30 am came the order 'general quarters. The decks were swept clear for action, the guns fully manned, with ammunition held ready for ramming home, the mystic antimine device, the Paravanes, swung out in front of the great ship. U-boat watch was mounted and the United States battle ensign, the Stars and Stripes, was hoisted on high for the first time in this war. Every precaution, in fact, was taken against treachery.'

'...Beatty wirelessed to the Admiralty the bare facts that the surrender was a fait accompli. I was on the bridge of the TEXAS at the time as the historic message came in. All this time we had not yet seen the enemy.'

'Saying [goodbye] to the TEXAS, I turned to Capt Blue.

'Your ship's company, sir, would, I gather, have preferred a fight.

'Well, I wouldn't. This has been the most signal victory in Naval history, and I'd much prefer to bring my boys home to their mothers and sweethearts than leave them at the bottom of the North Sea.'

Picture: TEXAS as she appeared during the surrender. Photo taken in December 1918 or January 1919."

Posted on the Battleship Texas Foundation Facebook page: link