#61 holy shit!!!

[iheartjameshetfield]

GUYS SEND IN KIRK ASKS IN CELEBRATION OF POOKIE’S BIRTHDAY!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRKY POO 🫶🫶

[i-eat-candles]

Guys, lets be honest, we all kinda cried a bit after listening to this episode.

[rincewindsapprentice]

I don't know how I managed to stop reading Dungeon Meshi right before it gets crazy

[strawbeerossi]

Caved and bought Love and Human Remains

THOMAS 😩 GIBSON 😩 RAIL 😩 ME 😩 PLEASE

[comiverse]

Oh you know, maybe I should write more incorrect quotes or headcanons to restock the queue--

--and hoLY SHIT WHERE TF DID Y'ALL COME FROM???

I-

THANK YOU???

[justsomerandomweirdo]

so i was going to write this in the tags but i've ended up cackling over my own bullshit because this is absolutely fucking ridiculous and there's way too much to just leave in the tags or a reply so sorry for the long post but here we go

first things first: i have only ever published one fanfic on ao3, so if we're only counting published fics then yeah sure 'untitled' i know what that one is it's the dumb jasico thing i wrote in like 2015-2016 which was like five sentences long or smth, the answer is yes

if we're counting the APPARENTLY OVER A THOUSAND unfinished unpublished word documents currently languishing in my 'Fanfics and shit' folder, the answer is a resounding No The Fuck I Would Not

holy shit there's so much going on here

so I've gotten slightly better at titling fics since the days when i would just call things 'bleh', 'oop de doop', 'wtf' or 'wtf au the fuckening pt 3', and now actually call these word documents (which will at best hold my attention for about three days and more commonly less than a single day bc i can never fucking stay focused on anything long enough to finish it) things like 'archivist sasha is good though', 'no eliot then' or 'sighs in self insert'

naturally those are still pretty vague so there's still enough confusion that i have to keep them in specific folders and sort by date modified rather than alphabetically, so i can see what fic came before 'that but more elusive' or 'that but Wit earlier and less assassining' or 'more spy though' or 'more nervous though' or... yeah

but at least i have the folders organised, you say! ahahahahahaha, no, no i do not have the folders organised. these folders are a mess of fics organised vaguely by vibes and fandoms, not helped by the fact that the majority of them are crossover fics for fandoms with very different vibes

for instance: where are the Alex Rider fanfics? yeah that's a very good question let me check. okay so the non-crossover fics are in the surprisingly helpfully named 'alex frickin rider then' folder, which lives in the 'dumb thing' folder inside the 'boop' folder. The 'boop' folder is actually for Foxhole Court fics - or no, it's specifically for crossover fics where Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender joins the Palmetto State Foxes, there was another barely-used folder for non-crossover aftg fics which i think just has in it like an au where Neil was a Raven or some shit, but I was simultaneously hyperfixated on Zuko and aftg for like quite a while so there's uh. Like well over two hundred attempts to figure out how putting Zuko on this terrible fucking sports team would go. Anyways, back on task, the 'dumb thing' folder was like few OC (really SI) type things bc i decided i had made my boy zuko suffer enough (and i should suffer instead), and the alex rider folder got put in there bc vibes. it makes sense in my brain i swear

anyways so where do the alex rider crossover fics go? good question, i think i know most of them but let me check! so the aftg crossovers are in the 'back to exy' folder in the 'alex frickin rider then' folder, there's a single really dumb hp crossover idea in a different subfolder called 'aaargh' about Julia Rothman having a magical child which will never see the light of day so long as jkr remains on her bigoted bullshit, and then we have to leave the boop folder entirely to search out the remainder. oh lmao i forgot what was in that 'sigh' folder hey i just found a foxhole court/mistborn crossover idea that literally only exists bc i thought of the sentence 'Ash fell from the end of Neil's cigarette' like hot damn that references the opening lines of both books if only i had a story to go with it, wait what was i doing oh yeah alex rider fics... okay so i think all of the rest of them are leverage crossovers and uh. so uh. so okay all the leverage fics live in the 'why' folder i think, except for that one crossover i just found in the 'leverage' folder at the bottom of the 'this now' folder which is for pjo fics, and the 'why' folder isn't actually for leverage it's for mistborn, but its where the leverage fics live in another 'leverage' subfolder bc heist vibes, except that subfolder is actually for mistborn/leverage crossovers and there's a 'modern' folder in that which is where the regular leverage stuff goes, except that's only got like two things in bc why have regular leverage when you can have 'eliot worked for scorpia before moreau' leverage, like seriously you know that bit in that warehouse scene where eliot shoots the guy behind him without even looking yeah now think about that bit in the stormbreaker film where yassen shoots that guy behind him without even looking you can't unthink it just accept Scorpia!Eliot into your hearts. so yeah there's an 'alex rider crossover then' folder in that - oh lmao there's another 'exy' folder in here the aftg fics are everywhere, but like jean moreau should clearly definitely be related to damien moreau that's just common sense and if we assume stormbreaker does in fact take place in 2001 then alex is the right age to join the foxes around 2005-2006 either the same year as neil or one before and you can actually do a fun thing with The Inside Job if you say that Wakefields actually used to be called something else before a merger with Greenfields, that evil gm wheat company from Crocodile Tears, so alex could be... (i continue infodumping about this nonexistent three-way-crossover, and a camera slowly zooms out to show me sitting alone at the center of the venn diagram of aftg fans, alex rider fans and leverage fans. a tumbleweed blows past)

anyways i think the best organised folder is probably the 'spoopy' folder which is for magnus archives stuff, im pretty sure no tma stuff has actually found its way outside that, though there are more crossovers inside naturally. there's a 'pjo crossover nonsense now' folder which is reasonably self explanatory, most of the barely-started fics in there assume Jonah Magnus is a son of Athena trying to escape death by creating his own new pantheon, then there's a 'cosmere nonsense bullshit' folder which only has one thing in it bc what if Fear was a Shard like can we let Cognitive Shadow Gerry say to Jon and Martin 'so yeah remember when i said there's no gods of love or hope or indigestion yeah actually turns out i was wrong there's a whole bunch of them actually it's pretty great', and on the subject of letting Gerry have nice things there's yet another fucking exy folder, called, 'tfc folder too big so crossover goes here' because Gerry can would and should be a Fox. lmao just imagine the moriyamas trying to intimidate him, this man has seen supernaturally induced atrocities your petty gang bullshit doesn't even register for him Riko you idiot, and then the foxes are incredibly fucking confused and concerned when Mary Keay shows up and Gerry's clearly more scared of this little old lady than anything to do with Riko and wait what do you mean she's your mother-

anyways pls remind me to go ask a doctor about adhd diagnosis bc i would like to maybe be able to finish writing a single thing in my life like ever

fanfic writers: if you were shown nothing but the title of one of your own fics, do you think you would be able to remember which one it is

[galacticplayer]

one piece is rlly good (finished east blue in 4 days voice)

[sexysilverstrider]

kinda forgot he has the starter good against mine

[tojisun]

https://x.com/joincosmic/status/1738333868724572356?s=61

this is so Simon coded omgoshhh

!! nsfw - minors dni

p link! STARED AT THIS BUG-EYED?? AYOOWANFHEHD no yea that is so simon im gonna screammmm xp

just. you have always had a thing for hands and arms. the arms is obvious, you know, with the tattoos or the scars or, and especially, the veins. but the hands? this one is a whole lot trickier to explain – how do you even begin to tell people that you fixate on the way the fingers could look bony and ridged, or how the palms are often calloused and rough, or how a knot tightens in your stomach when you see split knuckles?

perhaps the actual reason as to why you like hands is because of what they entailed – control. strength. power.

dominance.

those that simon does too well.

his hold tightens around your neck where his palm lays flat along your throat, feeling the way it quivers with your every moan. his thick fingers spread your folds apart, teasing along your slit and your labia, and then pinching your erect clit, before plunging deep in your cunt.

he crooks his fingers just right, prodding against your gummy walls, forcing more of the sticky wet mess to gush out of you. and all you could do was sob your moans, unable to escape the crescendo of your pleasure; unable to thrash from where he continues to pin you with his bigger and stronger body.

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve cum now. your overstimulation has long ebbed into another rising euphoria, the flames of your desire racing from the tips of your toes to the synapses on the base of your neck. you feel so exposed to simon; so vulnerable to his promise of making you feel good.

he listens to every hitch on your voice. every whimper. every moan. and his hands, his glorious and thick and strong hands, shift the way they touch you as though feeding off of your pleasure. he is still so gentle even as he tightens his hand around your throat, the other increasing its pace as it fingers you. as it fucks you.

your hips lift from his lap, your abdomen clenched as another crashing wave of your pleasure licks up and threatens to spill over. simon senses it because of course he does – he has been so attuned to your reactions; so endearingly focused on the hitches of your breath and the tightening of your pussy.

he presses a kiss on the valley of your shoulders. “jus’ one more f’r me, sweetheart,” he says.

you garble out a reply, you think. a mixture of yes-es and too much’s and simon.

simonsimonsimon-!

this one was. holy shit. just. im actually so speechless im-

[coastalcowgirl35]

Scared- Tyler Owens x Reader

He knows he scared you and come running home to show you he’s okay.

Note-probably unrealistic, I did not fact check. I also didn’t spell check. please enjoy!

TW: slight mention of blood/injury

You always watch his livestreams, no matter how much it scares you to see him in danger, it’s ten times better than not knowing. So tonight, as usual, you throw on one of his shirts and sit in your shared bed watching the live on your laptop. You’re particularly nervous for him tonight because it’s been a while since he chased in the dark, but you know you have to trust him.

It’s going well, he seems to be having the time of his life out there, whooping and hollering as he and Boone blare music. The first sign that something is wrong comes from Lilly. She’s in the van, her feed is up in the corner and your eyes flit to her when you see her throw herself to the side, evidently swerving off the road.

“Holy Hell, that’s a whole fucking tree!” Comes her voice, your heart drops. You see Tyler’s smile flicker and he looks out the window nervously.

“You alright back there?” He asks, eyes focusing on the camera briefly.

“Are you?” Lilly responds. “Winds really picking up!”

“Naw we got it” Your boyfriend replies confidently. From Boone’s camera’s perspective you can see the cyclone approaching them, barely visible in the dark. You see Tyler flip a switch.

“Alrighty, she’s coming straight for us!” He croons. “We’re anchored and ready for ‘er!”

It’s then that something hits the windshield. You see it from Boone’s camera which is then dropped, showing only the floor while the other is knocked out of place its footage going completely dark. You can hear the roar of the wind filling their truck and Boone and Tyler yelling out curses.

“We gotta fucking go!” One of them shouts.

Lily look scared on screen, truly terrified for the first time since you met her. She says something to Dexter in the seat next to her then reaches up towards the camera. She grabs it and the live goes dead.

You sit there in bed, heart pounding, hands shaking. You realize that you are crying. You can’t move. Tyler. Your mind repeats his name. Tyler. Tyler. Tyler.

After what feels like an eternity you finally move, reaching for your phone. You call him. It goes to voicemail. Tyler. Tyler. Tyler

You call him again and again, getting nothing but voicemail each time. You’re shaking and sobbing as you press his number over and over and over again. You can’t breathe. You can’t think anything but his name.

At some point a little voice in your mind begins to whisper that you should stop. But you can’t. You watch as the number of missed calls grows. 43. 57, 61. Your phone flashes the 20 % battery warning and it’s only then that you stop, not want to risk draining your battery and missing a call back. A call from anyone on the crew. Even a text.

You have no concept of time. You just sit there, tears streaming down your face, feeling utterly and completely useless.

It nearly 2 in the morning now. You can't do anything but cry. Your phone sits on the bed next to you, it doesn't light up and refuses to ring no matter how long you stare at it, willing Tylers name to flash across the screen. You're shaking and can't think straight, but what else can you really do?

You jump when you hear the door opens downstairs.

"Y/N/N?" calls a familiar voice. You scramble out of bed.

"Ty? Ty is that you?" You hurry down the stair and towards the front entryway. It's him. He stands there on the front mat, fully intact except for some bleeding cuts on his face. "Holy shit, Tyler" You practically launch yourself into his arms.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He wraps his arms around you as you cry in relief against his chest. "My phone died, I'm so sorry."

"You scared me." You sob.

"I know, honey, I know." He kisses the top of your head gently. You step back slightly and look up at him, putting your hands on either side of his face, examining how cut up it is.

"Fuck Ty, what happened?" You ask.

"...The windshield broke" He admits hesitantly. "Oh my god" You breathe out. "Is everyone else okay?" he nods.

You kiss him gently "Thank God. Oh Tyler, baby, I love you so much." You murmur against his lips.

"I love you too Y/N" He whispers peppering you with kisses. "God I love you." Hey pulls away slightly after a moment. "I gotta take my boots off hun." You step back and let him pull off his boots, tossing them onto the shoe tray. He sighs tiredly and tuns a hand through his hair.

"Come on Tyler, let's go upstairs and get you cleaned up." You say gently. He follows you back upstairs and into the master bathroom. You take rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, antiseptic and some bandaids out and hop up onto the counter. You dampen the cotton balls with the alcohol and beckon him closer until he's standing between your legs.

You reach up and gently wipe his cuts with the cotton ball. He winces but doesn't pull back, instead placing a hand on your thigh. Once you're satisfied with the cleanliness of the cuts you apply some antiseptic but he grabs your wrist when you reach for a bandaid.

"I don't need that darlin'' He says.

"You sure?" You ask hesitantly. He nods.

"All I need is to hold my girl" He says as he wraps his arms around you.

"Yeah?" You ask melting at his sweet words.

"Feeling better already" He affirms kissing the top of your head.

"Okay but first you need to change cowboy." You tell him, punctuating your statement with a kiss. He groans but releases you and steps back, letting you slide off the counter. As he changes into a fresh t-shirt and boxers you move your laptop and cell phone off of the bed. You turn to him when he steps out of the bathroom.

"Do you need something to eat Ty?" You ask. He shakes his head, and wraps his arms around you once again. "Water?" He chuckles and shakes his head again as he walks you backwards towards the bed.

"You need to stop fussing baby. Let's just get to bed." He lifts you and lays you onto the mattress before pulling the covers over the both of you.

You curl up next him, resting your head on his chest. The anxious weight in your chest finally melts away as you listen to his soft breathing and feel his fingers tracing patterns on your arm.

"I love you Tyler" You murmur.

"I love you too baby" He says, kissing your forehead.

"Don't ever do that to me again." You say seriously.

"I won't" Tyler promises, wrapping his strong arms around you. You fall asleep feeling safe and relaxed in his warm embrace.

[cavernclaw]

Daniel Mullinverse Dashboard Simulator

🎮 lionelsnill follow

Walk WIP! Usually I don't share these for free but I've decided this would be a great way to give the game some publicity and promote my kofi

🐹 weazelkid01 HELLO?? WAS NOBODY GOING TO TELL ME THE CREATOR OF SUPER FUCKING WEASEL KID WAS ON TUMBLR??

#rb #HOLYSHIT??? #super weasel kid

(123 notes)

🌵 ilovecowboys unpopular opinon, rust from waste world is a gilf

🌵 ilovecowboys

🐱truekeytohappiness

I cannot believe you OP, rust is a fucking DILF not a gilf. get your fucking facts together

🌵 ilovecowboys

oh fuck you're right im sorry. rust from waste world is a dilf.

#ww rust #waste world

(200 notes)

🃏 luckycarder

hey guys, sorry to have a serious video out of the blue but some important stuff has popped up. i'll keep this post pinned for a while since it's a big issue rn

#important #lucky card posts

(320 notes)

🔼 gamefuna-offical follow sponsored

merry christmas from gamefuna headquarters! as a little gift super weasel kid 09 deluxe is going on sale til january! #gamefuna #merry christmas (2 notes)

🎣 carla51

merry christmas guys, remember to boycott gamefuna because they fucking suck and so do their games.

#carla goes fishing

(5,200 notes)

🎩 thedarkclown follow

:) #i see you (666 notes)

💎 orbofpoweryum

#vallimar speaks #secrets of legendaria (170 notes)

🎣 carla51

i saw the secrets of legendaria poll and HOLY SHIT THANK YOU for saying all that nice stuff about the fishing bit it genuinly means the world to me people found that and enjoyed it anyways im gonna go cry now :') #carla goes fishing (61 notes)

🐹 weazelkid01 happy birthday super weasel kid! :D #super weasel kid #swk #super weasel kid: radical road (20 notes)

⬛ bandito7

(70,000 notes)

🔼 gamefuna-offical follow sponsored we are sad to inform everyone that inscryption, a game that many have been talking about is not real. it's simply a rumor that some very rude people made up. if you have come across any sort of content of gamefuna without it being sold, please not that (read more) (10 notes)

📺 t0theweb follow

HII HII HELLO!! IM NEW TO THE WEB AND IM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE AAAAAAAA YAY!!!!!!!! #FUCK YES YEAH WOO (0 notes)

🎣 carla51

taking a break from tumblr, alot has happened in the last few days and i need some time to process it. i'll hopefully be back in a week or two, sorry. #carla goes fishing #important (30 notes)

🃏 luckycarder

gonna start a gameplay series soon! i know most people probably only follow me for card stuff but found this neat little game in the woods and i wanna check it out, i'll upload the first video soon! (120 notes)

[defectivevillain]

struck by your lightning, ch3

reader’s pronouns: he/him

summary: You decide to take advantage of the moment’s respite you’re given. “Okay. Hey, how are you?” You look up, only to find yourself staring at Kaminari Denki. The Kaminari Denki—the idol with over thirty million listeners and sold-out concerts across the world. You’re certain that you’re going to fumble your words several times in front of him. (You're a reporter working at the red carpet of a national award gala. You've convinced yourself that you're doing just fine. At least, you're doing fine until you interview Kaminari.)

here’s chapter one and chapter two [you’ll want to read these first, otherwise this won’t make much sense]

this is a chat-hybrid fic and the formatting was mostly made for ao3. it’s a lil wonky here, so here’s the ao3 version if you’d prefer to read that :)

since it's been a while, here's a refresh of what happened in ch1-2: The reader works at DoubleVision agency and is invited to interview artists at an award show. His interview and interaction with Kaminari quickly goes viral—both because of his flustered reaction at the end and the “Love ya”s exchanged at the end. The reader tries not to think too much of it, until he opens his phone to find a message from an unknown number who proves to be Kaminari himself. The two quickly grow to be friends through frequent text conversations. Kaminari reveals that he has your placard for the event and plans for the two of you to meet up together at the nearby coffee shop…

now, onto the story....

Tokyo Entertainment Fix | @tokentfix

Popstar Kaminari Denki Spotted with Reporter from Awards Gala at Coffee Shop! 

[ coffee1.jpg ] [ coffee2.jpg ] [ coffee3.jpg ]

89k comments | 486k retweets | 1.8m likes

____________

jj | @dendendenki

ARE Y’ALL SEEING THIS

409 comments | 3k retweets | 18.2k likes

i said what i said. | @ urfavescouldnever

In response to @dendendenki 

seeing what

5 comments | 21 retweets | 451 likes

jj | @dendendenki

In response to @ urfavescouldnever 

THIS [tokentfix.twt] [newsarticle.link]

61 comments | 1.3k retweets | 8k likes

i said what i said. | @ urfavescouldnever

In response to @dendendenki 

I’M SEEING IT NOW HOLY SHIT

4 comments | 808 retweets | 1.6k likes

_______

Direct Message 

You: have you seen…?

Kaminari Denki: the news article about us?

You: yeah

Kaminari Denki: ah yeah, i saw it

You: i’m sorry

Kaminari Denki: i’m sorry

Kaminari Denki: WHAT

You: i’m sorry

Kaminari Denki: no no no

Kaminari Denki: stop that immediately

You: y??

Kaminari Denki: bc it's not ur fault!!!

Kaminari Denki: if anything, i should be the one apologizing 

You: why??? you didn’t do anything

Kaminari Denki: NEITHER DID YOU

You: ah damn it i see what you did there

Kaminari Denki: damn right

Kaminari Denki: but srsly, i hope the article isn’t messing anything up for u

You: i was gonna say the same to you

Kaminari Denki: oh pls, this kind of shit happens to me all the time

Kaminari Denki: but seriously, are you doing ok?

You: yep all good

You: it’s just more funny than anything else

Kaminari Denki: is the thought of dating me really so bad :(

You: oh pls, that’s not what i meant

You: i just meant celebrity culture in general…  like they’re so obsessed with your relationship status and it’s kinda weird>??

Kaminari Denki: yeah… 

You: sigh

You: so glad i’m just a lowly reporter 🙏

Kaminari Denki: hey, don’t jinx it

Kaminari Denki: plus, haven’t you looked on twt recently

Kaminari Denki: fans are shipping us together

Kaminari Denki: pretty sure there are stan accounts dedicated to you now

Kaminari Denki: not that i would know

Kaminari Denki: or follow them

You: fr??

Kaminari Denki: fr fr

You: deadass?

Kaminari Denki: on god

You: i hate us

Kaminari Denki: same

__________

Thankfully, that article about Kaminari and you doesn’t actually change much. You go about business as usual, albeit with a strange sense of guilt prickling along your skin when your mind is unoccupied. You throw yourself into your work and try to bury the emotions, but they are never truly extinguished. 

Your conversations with Kaminari are far rarer now, especially as the both of you get even busier. Kaminari is working on releasing his next album and you’re pitching new stories and writing to old acquaintances for features. Even though you throw yourself into work, you still find your thoughts returning to Kaminari. Your relationship with him is currently undefined—your meeting the other day felt like a date, but neither of you acknowledged it. You would love to be more than friends with Kaminari, but you also know that someone as well-known as him doesn’t exactly have the freedom to pursue a relationship and a music career at the same time. Resigned, you slowly push away thoughts of Kaminari until you think you get a good handle on your emotions. 

Until everything you try to suppress comes roaring back.

___________

 Kaminari Denki | @kaminaridenki

24 hours. [STATIC.jpg]

203k comments | 1.2m retweets | 4m likes

____________

Kaminari Denki to Release New Album Tomorrow

Arts—Music

2 min ago ᐧ By Janet Drews

Kaminari Denki, award-winning musical artist and popular culture icon, recently announced the release of his new album on Twitter. The Tweet earned over four million likes and 200,000 comments. Listeners are clearly looking forward to the occasion, as #KaminariDenki, #STATIC, and #DenkiAlbum top the Twitter Trending page (#1, #2, and #4, respectively). 

Some fans speculate the new album will be an ode to the rumored relationship between Kaminari and the DoubleVision reporter who interviewed him at the award gala [interview.mp4]. The interaction between the singer and the reporter quickly went viral following live coverage of the event. Digital citizens across the platform searched for explanations for the exchange, and Kaminari fans such as user @heyheyh3y discussed their red-carpet conversation.  

stream lightning by kaminari! | @heyheyh3y okay but is it just me or was there some tension there…  [interview.jpg]: A screenshot of Kaminari standing next to you during the interview.   907 comments | 66k retweets | 256k likes

This album will be a bit different from his previously released music, Kaminari said to Vogue Japan mere days ago. The artist made no mention of a significant other who could bear influence on his new music, despite the fact that he was seen with the DoubleVision reporter at EspressoBeanz but a few days ago—a cafè conveniently located near both DoubleVision agency and UA Entertainment. However, other Kaminari fans, like users @electrstatic and @staticshockwave, weren’t convinced:

⚡⚡| @electrstatic y’all are making such a huge deal about this whole reporter business, as if the same thing hasn’t happened time and time again with literally anyone kaminari interacts with 31 comments | 23 retweets | 700 likes electric boogaloo  | @staticshockwave In response to @electrstatic  THANK YOU. like, when he first got Arata as a manager, everyone was going batshit crazy about how they were dating… and they weren’t. and the way anyone breathing in Kaminari’s direction is assumed to be dating him… it’s crazy 0 comments | 8 retweets | 32 likes

Either way, fans across the world are looking forward to the release of new music from Kaminari.  His new album, STATIC, will be released on Apple Music, Spotify, Soundcloud, and assorted digital platforms at 3 p.m. JST (approximately 10 a.m. UTC). 

__________

Direct Message

You: heyyy, how are you feeling

You: the album releases tmrw, right?

Kaminari Denki: very nervous 

Kaminari Denki: and yes, t minus 20 hrs

You: awesome!

You: and rly? why?

Kaminari Denki: well… i worked hard on it, and i want ppl to like it

You: okay 

You: will you be disappointed if your fans don’t like it?

Kaminari Denki: a little, yeah

You: but why do you write music? do you write it for them or for yourself? 

Kaminari Denki: 

You: sorry, that sounds patronizing…

Kaminari Denki: no, you’re right

Kaminari Denki: i think i needed to hear that

You: i mean, you clearly worked very hard on it. i’m sure everyone listening will recognize that.

Kaminari Denki: i hope so

You: they will 😠 and if they don’t, fuck em

Kaminari Denki: damn right

Kaminari Denki: thanks <3

You: ofc! <3

You: i have to go eat dinner, talk soon?

Kaminari Denki: yep,, enjoy your meal

You: tyyy haha

___________

Direct Message

Kaminari Denki: hypothetically speaking

Sero Brain Cells: ok hello to you too

Sero Brain Cells: also bitch do i look like a scientist

Kaminari Denki: hYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING

Kaminari Denki: does a “<3” mean someone is hopelessly in love with me

Sero Brain Cells: jfc

Kaminari Denki: is that a yes

Sero Brain Cells: ur so fuckin whipped

Kaminari Denki: SHUT UP

Kaminari Denki: I TRUSTED YOU

Kaminari Denki: i came to you in my time of weakness

Kaminari Denki: and this is how you repay me

Sero Brain Cells: dude, you gotta tell him at some point

Kaminari Denki: ik…

Sero Brain Cells: and even if you don’t, he’ll probably figure it out soon

Kaminari Denki: wdym

Sero Brain Cells: ur new album. 

Kaminari Denki: what about it?

Sero Brain Cells: half of those songs are so clearly about him

Kaminari Denki: nahhhh no way i kept it hella ambiguous

Sero Brain Cells: ambiguous, huh

Kaminari Denki: shut up

Kaminari Denki: … do you really think he’ll notice

Sero Brain Cells: well, i’m not sure

Sero Brain Cells: you both seem a lil oblivious, so it may be fine

Kaminari Denki: hey 😭

Sero Brain Cells: all love

Sero Brain Cells: but also get ur shit together u raging homo (affectionate, non-derogatory)

Kaminari Denki: oh pls, as if you haven’t been pining for shoto for six business years

Sero Brain Cells: HEY

Sero Brain Cells: …HEY

Sero Brain Cells: HEY 💀

Sero Brain Cells: ik ur stressed rn so i’ll let that slide 🤨

Kaminari Denki: ur right, i’m so anxious

Kaminari Denki: sry for taking it out on u, bro 

Sero Brain Cells: it’s ok bro

Sero Brain Cells: wanna get ur ass kicked in mariokart?

Kaminari Denki: do i want to kick ur ass in mariokart? absolutely

Sero Brain Cells: we’ll see about that

Kaminari Denki: damn right we will

___________

Kaminari Denki | @kaminaridenki

fucking godly at mariokart [mariokart.jpg]

19k comments | 97k retweets | 347k likes

Sero | @serofucks

In response to @kaminaridenki 

oh fuck all the way off, you had steering assist on

3k comments | 45k retweets | 228k likes

@kamisimpsimp

In response to @serofucks 

OOOOP

47 comments | 430 retweets | 1.4k likes

surprised pikachu face | @kamipikakami

In response to @kamisimpsimp 

gagged and gooped

31 comments | 338 retweets | 2.3k likes

alex | @kaminarunaronari

In response to @kaminaridenki 

what really concerns me is that you main lakitu

2k comments | 134k retweets | 765k likes

stream lightning by kaminari! | @heyheyh3y

In response to @kaminaridenki 

here we are, anxiously awaiting the new album, and this mf is playing mariokart

21 comments | 208 retweets | 809 likes

@kamisimpsimp

In response to @heyheyh3y 

as one does!

0 comments | 46 retweets | 665 likes

___________

Direct Message 

You: heyyyy

You: it’s release dayyyyyy

Kaminari Denki: when you when you when you whennnnnnnnnnnnnnfdshfkdjs

You: :0

You: looking forward to it!

Kaminari Denki: :3

(Nine Hours Later) 

Direct Message 

You: congratulationsssss!!!!

You: i’ll try to find the time to listen to STATIC soon!!!

Kaminari Denki: thanks :)

___________

Kaminari stares down at his phone, watching as fans discuss the new album. He has the album on shuffle in the background as he tries to brainstorm some choreography. Kaminari has absolute faith in the talented choreographers that he works with—but he just feels like he needs to do something to combat the restless energy surging through him.  

The feedback on the album so far has been overwhelmingly positive, yet he’s still nervous—as if he’s still waiting for a reaction from someone. Shaking his head, he tries to focus on the choreography he’s creating. But that plan quickly backfires. Within moments, his phone buzzes—breaking him out of his thoughts. Kaminari freezes and immediately grabs it from his pocket, heart thudding rhythmically in his chest as he unlocks his phone and goes to his messages. There’s a series of texts from you:

You: ok, i have time to listen, now! You: gonna listen as i make dinner!!!

Kaminari sighs, trying to calm his racing heart. He doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. Taking a deep breath, he puts his phone back in his pocket and decides to practice some of the choreography for his other songs. Even amidst the music running through the space and the dance moves that seemed etched onto his very skin, Kaminari still can’t help but think of you. 

___________

Meanwhile, you’re just getting home from work. You hate to admit it, but you’ve been looking forward to listening to Kaminari’s new album for a bit now. It’s especially thrilling to think that you can discuss it with him afterward—hell, he even seems to be awaiting your feedback. The thought is exciting and nerve-wracking in equal measures. 

You decide to change out of your work clothes before starting dinner, so that you don’t have to worry about staining anything. Then, you grab your Bluetooth speaker and place it on the kitchen counter, before pulling up Kaminari’s newest album and tapping on the first song. Immediately, a beautiful, twisting melody reaches your ears and you swear you feel your shoulders begin to relax. You busy yourself with preparing dinner while his voice fills the space. 

Safe to say, the album is incredible. You really like each song you’ve listened to so far—and have found yourself saving each of them to various playlists. Even if you hadn’t spoken with Kaminari throughout the period he was working on the album, you would be able to tell that he put a lot of effort into it. As you expected, that effort shows through in each and every song.  

His songs are rather hard-hitting, emotionally speaking. The fifth song, traces of you , makes you freeze in place. You have to rewind to listen to one particular portion of the song again: 

…and I stand aside 

as you’re washed away  

with the ebbing tide 

I’m so afraid 

of falling out of love 

Sometimes I look up  

at the blinding black night 

and the stars seem to whisper  

your name in the air 

I feel a shiver roll down my spine 

I remember your hand in mine, 

and I’m just so afraid.  

You don’t know how long you stand at the kitchen counter, letting the lyrics slip into your ears and down your skin. This song is so raw and vulnerable. You feel the sudden urge to close your eyes. For a moment, you can almost trick yourself into thinking Kaminari is singing to you, that these lyrics are meant for you and you alone. It’s a foolish thought, but you can’t quite push it away. You feel your eyes burning with unshed tears as you try to picture Kaminari writing down these lyrics. What was he feeling, in those moments? Were his eyebrows furrowed in concentration? Were his hands stained from the still-drying ink of his pen? Was he tapping his foot along to an unheard, not-yet-created melody?  

Something blares loudly, tearing you from your reverie. You blink and look around the room, gasping when you realize you completely neglected the pan on the stove. The pan is smoking and you recognize that insufferable sound to be the fire alarm. You’re quick to turn off the burner. The fire isn’t extinguished. Panicking, you race to one of the kitchen cabinets to grab baking soda. Baking soda, quickly , your mind is practically yelling. You grab the baking soda and haphazardly spread it over the grease fire, relief coursing through you when you see the flames begin to die down. When the fire finally subsides, you look down at your attempt at dinner, only to find a charred pile. You shake your head in disbelief and clean up your mess, before grabbing your phone and skipping to the next song. 

You don’t make the mistake of attempting to make dinner as you listen to the rest of the album, which is a rather smart move, because the remaining songs are lyrical masterpieces. There isn’t a single song on the album that you don’t like. A small smile growing on your face, you open your messaging app. 

___________

Direct Message

You: i love the new album holy shit

Kaminari Denki: really?

You: yesssss omfg absolutely 

Kaminari Denki: akjdfkjfskdjfsdlkf

Kaminari Denki: which track is your favorite? for research purposes 

You: research purposes? lol

You: my favorite is definitely traces of you 

Kaminari Denki: ah, that’s one of my favorites, too!

Kaminari Denki: and lemme just say: i’m so happy you listened! it means the world to me, so thank you <3

You: no need to thank me—just doing my due diligence as a friend! besides, the new album is incredible!

You: and i promise i’m not just saying that to be nice,,, it’s clear you put a lot of effort into it. 

Kaminari Denki: ahhh stawp ur gonna make me all flustered xD

You: hahaha

You: i do have one critique, though

Kaminari Denki: ooooh ok i’m listening 👀

You: traces of you needs to come with a warning

Kaminari Denki: for what? shit how did i miss that

You: “warning: will distract you from cooking dinner and nearly burn your home down”

Kaminari Denki: wait

Kaminari Denki: you did notttttt 💀

You: I DID

You: i was so distracted i forgot i was making dinner

Kaminari Denki: omfgggg that’s insane

Kaminari Denki: i’ve heard a lot of things about my music, but never that it almost burned a house down and ruined dinner 😭

You: lmfaooo 

Kaminari Denki: i’m so sorry 😭😭

You: it’s not your fault, holy shit

You: don’t feel guilty!!!! if it makes you feel better, it was completely worth it

Kaminari Denki: hmph 

You: i wasn’t rly that hungry anyways

Kaminari Denki: hm hm hm hm hmmmmmm

You: whatttt

Kaminari Denki: nothing i gtg

Kaminari Denki is offline. 

You: o….kay? …bye?

___________

You exit out of your messaging app and start rummaging through your pantry for something to eat. Nothing sounds very good right now. You don’t have much food left, either—you’re in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store. You’re sure you can make time to go tomorrow, but as for right now… you’re stuck making do with what you have. Truthfully, you’re tempted to order something—but it’s already getting late and you don’t want to wait even longer for a meal when you’re already hungry. 

You walk out into your living room and flop onto the couch, trying to distract yourself from the hunger gnawing at your stomach. Admittedly, your abrupt conversation with Kaminari is weighing heavily on your mind too. You eventually scroll through YouTube mindlessly, if only to keep yourself distracted. You’re not sure how long you sit there before there’s a sudden ringing sound. You frown, wondering if you’re hearing things. 

The sound occurs again, and you realize that someone must be ringing your doorbell. Squinting in confusion, you head to your front door and peek through the peephole—surprised to find a familiar blond singer standing on your porch. You quickly unlock your front door and swing it open. “Kaminari?” You ask, convinced you’re seeing things. You hadn’t made plans to hang out today, and you assumed that your conversation died off because he was busy. 

“Hey,” Kaminari smiles. He’s wearing a sweatshirt and jeans with a pair of colorful sneakers. His bangs are clipped back and his hair is almost glowing in the dim light of your porch. There’s a sheepish smile on his face that is endlessly endearing. “I heard you missed dinner.” He smiles, holding up a few bags of takeout from a restaurant the two of you had spoken about before. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say quickly, hoping that you didn’t make him feel as if he had to provide you with dinner. It wasn’t his fault you were distracted. 

“I wanted to,” he says with a smile, dispelling your doubts. “I think I remember your order, but…” He trails off, averting his eyes with an embarrassed expression. “I got a few different things, just in case.”

“I could kiss you,” you breathe relievedly, unaware of the flush that adorns Kaminari’s cheeks as he processes that remark. You motion for him to come in, before locking the front door and showing him to the dining room. You leave him to unbag the food, while you grab plates and utensils. “Do you want anything to drink?” You ask from the kitchen.

“What do you have?” Kaminari asks casually. 

“Water, soda, sparkling water…” You trail off, looking through your fridge for anything else you may have laying around. 

“Water’s fine,” he smiles. You roll your eyes and grab another glass, filling up waters for you both before returning to the table. Kaminari wasn’t kidding when he said he bought a few different things—as it’s all laid out on your table, it looks as if he bought half the menu. You return to the kitchen and grab the plates and utensils you gathered earlier, before heading back. Unsurprisingly, the pile of food on the table doesn’t get any smaller. 

“This is a lot of food,” you remark cautiously. Realistically speaking, there’s no way you’ll be able to finish all of this, and you feel slightly guilty. 

“Oh, yeah,” Kaminari nods, “I figured we would have enough for leftovers, and stuff.” You nod in agreement, before busying yourself with making a plate. 

“So,” you say, once the two of you are settled in and have begun eating. You didn’t realize just how hungry you were until you took a bite of the food. There’s an inexplicable tension hovering over the air, and you’re unsure if you’re imagining it or not. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Kaminari responds with a nod. “Really good,” 

“Good!” You smile, taking another bite. “Are you topping the charts already?”

He smiles bashfully, poking at his food with a fork. “I think so… yeah.” He’s so humble, and you can’t help but think it’s rather admirable. 

“That’s so cool,” you remark, “I’m so happy for you.” 

“Thanks, I’m happy, too.” He smiles briefly, before looking back down at his food. The happiness in his expression almost seems to flicker for a moment, and the grin on his lips suddenly looks strained. You frown. At first, you want to put that sight down to your imagination; but when the silence stretches on for a while and he doesn’t make a move to continue speaking, you decide to acknowledge it. 

“Are you sure?” You blurt out, before you can contemplate the consequences of speaking so freely. Kaminari looks at you in confusion and you grimace. “Sorry. It’s just- You seem a little… off, I guess.”

“I’m good,” he reassures you with a small nod. The gesture is not very convincing. 

“Okay,” you say, not wanting to push him further. If there’s something he doesn’t want to talk about, you’re not going to force it out of him. After a few moments, your conversation returns to normal. You still have a lingering suspicion that there’s something weighing on his mind, but you decide to forget about it. 

Overall, your dinner is pleasant. You get the chance to ask Kaminari a few questions about the album, and you really enjoy seeing his eyes sparkle as he goes into in-depth explanations of the meanings behind his songs. It feels like you’re seeing a side of him that very few people get to see—but you don’t want to flatter yourself. 

Kaminari offers to help you with the dishes when you’re both finished eating, but you quickly refuse and promise him you’ll finish them quickly. You run water over the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, promising yourself to run it later that night. When you return to the table, you’re surprised to find Kaminari staring ahead with a troubled expression on his face. His hands are clasped on the table and his lips are pulled in a thin line. 

Before you can even begin to ask, he’s filling the silence. “You were right,” Kaminari admits. He sounds a little strange—almost as if he’s nervous. You stare at him expectantly. “There is something bothering me.”

The tortured expression on his face is a bit worrying. “Well, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” You feel the need to remind him. While you’re concerned about what could be distressing him, you know that sometimes, it’s too painful to talk about those types of things. 

But Kaminari surprises you with his response. “I want to,” he reassures you. You watch as he pushes himself to his feet and stares down at the table, running a finger along the wood. “I’ve just… been trying to figure out how to say it.” 

“Take your time,” you say. “I’m not in a rush.” Kaminari nods appreciatively. 

You’re not sure what you’re expecting to hear, in all honesty. But what he says next feels entirely unreal. “When I first met you, I was attracted to you,” Kaminari chokes out, looking at the ceiling as if nervous to meet your eyes. “I sort of expected it to fizzle, because… well, I didn’t know you all that well. But once we started talking more, I realized that my feelings weren’t going away. While I just knew you as the alluring reporter before, I now knew you as this… this incredible person.” You stare at him in shocked silence. 

“You’re so… You’re kind, smart, and passionate. You have a wicked sense of humor and I always look forward to hearing from you. I…

“I’m not sure how familiar you are with me and my career, but… Truthfully, I hit a bit of a rough spot. My last album was a few years ago and I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to write anything new. But then I met you, and got to know you, and all of a sudden, I was writing all the time. 

“Suddenly, I had an entire album—filled with songs that I wrote while thinking about you. And I didn’t know what to do. I had already tried to bury my feelings for you, and it clearly hadn’t worked at all. I assumed you didn’t feel the same as I did. And I’m still not sure, of course.

“But when you sent those messages earlier… I felt something snap in me. It was like, one moment I was staring down at my phone, and the next, I was walking into that restaurant you were talking about.

“And tonight, I’ve been trying to keep it together… But it’s been nearly fucking impossible. I see you across the table and I can’t help but think that this is how I want to spend the rest of my life—sneaking glances at you, and hearing about your day at work…

“Not to mention, the whole Sero thing… It was stupid. But when you said you liked his music, my heart just dropped. I felt like… I don’t know. I felt like I lost you. Even though you weren’t mine to lose.” 

“Anyway,” Kaminari says, shaking his head before meeting your eyes. He looks simultaneously more relieved and more nervous than before. “I just had to get that out. And now we can pretend I never said anything.” He shakes his head and fiddles with the strings of his hoodie. 

You’re still reeling from everything he just said, but you’re quick to dismiss his assumptions. “What?” You exclaim. “No, Kaminari, I have feelings for you too,” you say. He stares at you with wide eyes. “It’s been so fun getting to know you. You’re just… you’re so bright and energetic, passionate, and good-hearted… I was so nervous when I first met you, because it was my first time ever being on a red carpet… but you made me feel more confident, just by being yourself.”

“And when I got distracted listening to your music earlier… It was because I was thinking of you, and thinking that, somehow, you could be singing just to me. That you could have written that song… just for me. And I know it’s stupid…”

“It’s not stupid,” Kaminari interjects, before you can spiral into further self-deprecation. “I just told you, I was thinking of you when I wrote them. All of them.” The lyrics flicker before your eyes at rapid speed, as you remember all the words that felt too vulnerable to ever be yours. You think about how you felt as you were cooking dinner—that tight feeling in your chest as you pretended that everything was fine, as you pretended that you were okay with the idea of Kaminari writing those songs while thinking of someone else. Before you can contemplate your next move, you’re surging forward—and Kaminari is too. Your hands cradle his cheeks as you kiss him, and he tugs you impossibly closer with his hands on your waist. His touch sends pleasant shivers down your spine. 

“I guess the fans were right, huh,” you remark with amusement once you break apart. 

“There’s a first time for everything,” Kaminari says, his eyes gleaming. He takes a deep breath, his hands still latched on your waist (as if he doesn’t want to let you go). Indecision draws his lips together into a flat line. “Are you sure you want to do this? Being in a relationship with me… It’s going to be different. I- I can’t pretend that I have any privacy whatsoever, or a super accommodating schedule, or-”

“Of course I want to do this,” you immediately say, before he can continue. “More than anything.” 

Kaminari’s hands migrate up your shoulders and towards the nape of your neck. He leans closer until your foreheads are touching. “I’m just so afraid.” He whispers, so quietly that you nearly convince yourself you didn’t hear it. (The stars seem to whisper your name in the air… I feel a shiver roll down my spine, I remember your hand in mine, and I’m just so afraid). You pull him into a hug.  

“Me too,” you admit in a breath against his shoulder. Kaminari mutters something into your shoulder, but it’s incomprehensible. “Hey, if we can get five and a half million people to watch us stumble through an interview, I think we can do this.” The singer huffs a laugh and pulls back, his hand rising to your cheek and his thumb running across your skin. There’s a smile on his face—one of unmistakable fondness and affection. You lean forward to break the distance between you once more, a euphoric feeling settling in your chest and a smile growing on your face.

endnotes:

i really snuck Seroroki in there, mhwhahaha.

this took so fuckin long to format on here (I had to format it AGAIN despite already devoting time to doing that on ao3), pls show some love if you enjoy it... i'm begging

thanks for reading! <3

check out my other works, sorted by fandom.

general taglist: @its-ares @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @kingkoku @the-ultimate-librarian @gayaristocrat anddd @alex12ander @7heehee7 @the-lurking-await-you since y'all commented on part two

[dreamchasernina]

Kataang could have been developed more after The Invasion Kiss but on the other hand it is important that katara hugged him after the defeat and stood very proud next to him when he thanked everyone for participating. Then they were very chill sitting next to each other in the western air temple and even in sozins comet part 1 after their biggest fight so far they stood next to each other in their group hug and katara watched him training when zuko taught him how to redirect lightning. If aang was really such an incel or simp like people make him out she would try to avoid him at all costs but she didn't.

I agree with you, if Katara was at any point uncomfortable by Aang's advances...actually, the only two advances he has ever made at her, she would definitely distance herself from him, or, knowing Katara, would just talk to him. Of course even after the kiss at the invasion Katara is comfortable with Aang. It wasn’t even their first kiss, they canonically kissed in the cave of two lovers!

Don’t even get me started on the topic of people calling Aang an incel HOLY SHIT that is a different level of dumbassery, please. I don’t even know where it’s coming from. The way Aang kissed Katara in the invasion? Well let’s see, Sokka kissed Suki THE EXACT SAME WAY IN THE SERPENTS PASS AND NO ON EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. So please tell me, how the way Aang kissed Katara is any different from the way Sokka kissed Suki?

Plus people who call him an incel think he forced Katara to be with him, bothered her after she told him to stop multiple times. And please, what show are you people watching? Aang never lets Katara know he has feelings for her until the invasion episode!!! Where exactly is the forcing? Where exactly is Katara turning him down? Are you making stuff up?

The kiss in the cave was initiated by Katara, Aang didn't let her know of his feelings for her. If she knew he liked her, she wouldn’t be offended when Aang tells her he wouldn’t want to kiss her. She's offended because Aang makes her think he doesn't like her...why would that offend her if she herself didn't like him, and didn't want him to like her back?

The first time Aang EVER shows Katara he has feelings for her is halfway through the third season! And the only time Katara turns his advances down is in the last episode before the finale, after which we never even see them together. Aang totally backs off until she’s the one who kisses him in the finale.

The whole time Aang is pining for her secretly. He just has a crush on her, and even that is exaggerated by the haters. It's not like they don't have a relationship outside this crush. The crush is such a minor detail in their relationship. They have mutual respect, trust, they're each other's moral compass and biggest supporter. Aang's crush on Katara comes up in 13 episodes out of 61! I literally counted! And I counted every tiny thing like Aang blushing at Katara in City of Walls and Secrets, something that lasts 1 second. MOST of those crush moments are so tiny and have little to no impact, but even counting those, it only comes up to 13 episodes! And some of them don't even include Katara in them, like The Guru. So if the crush is not referenced or mentioned in 80% of the show, how exactly is Katara pressured or pursued constantly, to the point where she has to tell him to stop? Did the turning him down get lost somewhere between all the kisses on the cheek Katara gives him throughout the show?

Look, I would take all that criticism seriously, but literally anyone who ever said that is a ZK shipper. Which just makes it disingenuous, because they’re only saying all that stuff to prove their ship should've been canon...which in no way makes it canon anyway so what's the point for all this hate? I just don't get it for the life of me.

[asherashedwings]

OKAY OKAY LAST ASK FOR NOW BUT HOLY SHIT OTIS IS CANON TO FNF. WIN https://x.com/news_funkin/status/1806481788174258238?s=61 ALSO PA DREW HIM

MY FRIEND SENT THIS TO ME RIGHT AFTER YOU SENT CLOWN PICO

CHAT WE ARE WINNING

[liaarxse]

can you do which tr characters would do this with y/n and how it would go??

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8JmRPXM/

This is a mess...

Characters: Keisuke Baji, Nahoya Kawata, Manjiro Sano

Warnings: None

—Keisuke Baji

He's down.

Ya'll tried baking a cake, with him only talking. His arms were behind his back where you were, and your arms were showing, as if it was his.

You had to stand on a small stool to be able to do this

The house was a mess

Cats were even stepped on

R.i.p

Baji instantly dropped the act and fell to his knees, babying the poor kitty

It's your fault Y/N

You're guilty

How dare you

After like.. 30 minutes, he let go

For his, yours, and the cats sake

It was barely able to breathe from his grasp

You continued on the trend

Then a fucking egg flew and hit Baji Jr. Number 28 in the head

Then a fucking Baji flew and grasped cat number 61 in his arms

See what I did there?

Cat? 61?

61?

I'm sorry (not)

In the end, like half of the egg shells got in the mix and you choked on one.

R.i.p Y/N

#deadfamilymoments 🍷🍷😍😜😜😜😜🍷😜🍷😜🍷🥱🍷

—Nahoya Kawata

He just KNEW

When you entered his room with a playful smile, he just got up, stretched and—

"Bring it on!"

Oh

My

God

Souya just gathered his shit and moved out

There was probably going to be a reported murder scene in there, and he doesn't want to be a suspect

Why?

Oh, because Nahoya probably saw someone he didn't like through the window and chased them with a knife

Anyway let's say it didn't happen

He wasn't taking it seriously AT ALL

You had to recharge your phone 3 times because its battery died

And his phone is so broken, your emo friend can't compete

You managed to season the noodles but when you tried to feed him

Ah... shit

You literally couldn't see from his big ass hair and were struggling behind him

He was laughing so hard that instead of biting the fork, he bit your arm

"YOU BUSTED ASS FUCK—"

He didn't care

He just took the bowl and went to eat it in the other room

You wanted revenge

You snuck out of the window, and busted from the front door, screaming

Guess who's noodles went flying in the air

And it landed on his hair

Let's say it was an interesting night

The next morning everything was a-okay don't worry.

—Manjiro Sano

The amount of food y'all went through was INSANE

Like, is you rich or smth 🤨

Manjiro was RAVENOUS

Fucker would've ate you if there was nothing else

😘

But that's a story for another time

You were cuddled up next to him, your head laying on his chest while scrolling through tiktok

You landed on a video that showed a couple doing a rather interesting trend

You both just looked at each other and got up to take a quick stroll to the convenient store

You bought 20 packets of instant ramen.

Holy shit

If it wasn't for his constant fighting lifestyle as a gang leader, mf would've been fatter than yo mama

<3

So you tried to do the challenge

And failed

You tried again

Failed again

By now, like, 2 hours have passed and Manjiro was still hungry

At one point, he just got tired and took the ramen bowl and went to sit somewhere in private to eat it

You took the flag from it and raised it over his head

🤨

Let's be honest if there wasn't a flag he wouldn't have participated

He chuckled, took the flag, and placed it on top of the ramen

"Let's try again?"

He's so fucking cute when them dark impulses are light 😻

In the end, you didn't do the trend properly, but at least you had fun

But

Guess what

He's still hungry

"But there is no more ramen left?"

He smirked

"Who said I'll be eating ramen?"

He started walking towards you

Your eyes widened as you took a step backwards

Manjiro leaned towards your face, inches away before he walked past you and took out a Taiyaki out of the shopping bag

He winked at you and left the kitchen

"Motherfucker..."

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 61-70: Waking up and choosing violence

Hello everyone and welcome back to another week of ramblings about TMA, its characters and, most importantly, its mysteries. Will I ever find an answer to at least one of them? I doubt it, but I’ll keep putting together as many pieces as possible and one day I’ll prove to everyone that the All Michael Theory is the only valid one. And not just because it’s the silliest.

<< Main Masterlist < Previous post 

_______________________________

MAG 61 - Hard Shoulder

Wow, what a start!

We have a new voice: Alice “Daisy” Tonner joins the cast and proves herself to be one of the most badass women - as well as another character who woke up and chose violence. Huge respect for her (with a sprinkle of fear).

Basira suspected Jon was Gertrude’s killer? You know what? From the police’s perspective, this reasoning makes sense: it doesn’t seem like Gertrude had any relatives and Jon was the only one close to her (at work, at least). And, as Daisy said, he showed a ton of weird behaviors and weird behaviors are the first red flag for a suspect. Also, Jon is the only one who actually gained something from Gertrude’s death and that’s even more suspicious.

Awww, Jon was sad Basira suspected of him! Is he starting to feel something from her? Will he end up asking her phone mumber, then a date, then her hand in marriage?

I also find it very interesting that Jon asked Daisy to tell him something about the supernatural events she dealt with. It’s the first time Jon actively wanted a statement. Even weirder, he didn’t ask for a specific one, but any statement. “Whatever you like”, he told her.

That’s a bit odd, isn’t it? In season 1, Jon said he was getting too involved in the statements, now he’s actively asking for new ones. Is this all related to the “crimson fate”/curse? Is this Big brother’s influence? If I was right by saying that Big Brother can somehow “eat” the statements, that means Jon is unconsciously feeding this supernatural shit?

Speaking of the statement, I was HYPED when I found out that the delivery van was from Breekon & Hopes deliveries. Even better, they were transporting the coffin! Coffin from MAG 2 my beloved! And we also find out what’s inside it!

Once again, I’ll quote Jon: the content was surprising, indeed. I expected some creepy shit to come out but we got a weird staircase going somewhere down. It just made me even more curious about the coffin’s origin and now I want to know more: where does that staircase bring? I hope we will find out in some future statement.

Also, what’s with that weird static/vibration? I thought it was just a background sound added by TMA’s author to create the right atmosphere. But since it was mentioned in the transcripts too, I’m starting to fear it has something to do with the plot. Is it related to Micheal? Or Daisy? Or maybe the tape recorder suddenly broke because yes? No idea, but I love that we’re starting with so many mysteries.

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MAG 62 - First Edition

HOLY SHIT, MARY KEAY.

Yep, that was my reaction when I found out who this “Mary” was. And her voice is adorably creepy. Love it.

But as Jon said, there is a lot here. And by a lot I mean A LOT.

*

1) Mary and the Institute

The Keays worked for the Institute?! Of course, that’s how they found out about a lot of this weird shit, gosh I feel so stupid for not realizing it sooner!

But Mary also talks about her mother’s “slavish devotion to you and your patron”. Who is the patron? Elias? A member of the Lukas family? Big Brother itself?

*

2) Same side?!

Mary said she and Gertrude are on the same side “Even if Elias disagrees”. That can mean two things only:

Mary Keay is on Big Brother’s & the Lukas' side, even if Elias thinks she’s not so trustworthy

Mary Keay is on the opposite side, but she doesn’t know her job is actually helping Elias/the Lukas/Big Brother

Which theory is the right one? It depends on what side Gertrude was: if she was against Big Brother it’s one thing, if she was pro Big Brother it’s a different one.

*

3) Powers that watched over?

It’s very telling that Mary said Dr. Margaret Tellison was “touched by powers like those that watched over our family”. That confirms the Keays are associated with a supernatural shit - or that a supernatural shit watches over them, at least. Which one? Gosh, I hope to find out.

But also: if there was a supernatural shit watching over them, the Keays should worship it, right? So, why did Mary say “I’ve always found a singular devotion far too restrictive”? Maybe she doesn’t just worship the one watching over them, but a lot of different ones?

On a side note: who the fuck is Eric?

*

4) A Not-Leitner - and actually not a single one was

And here on the left, we can see TMA’s author trolling me with the book that drops bones, by making me think that yes, that’s surely a Leitner. It was also in Leitner’s weird hidden library, of course it’s a Leitner.

And here I find out that actually no, it’s just a fucking pointless book and it was gifted to Leitner by Mary Keay herself.

So not only we find out the Keays and Leitner interacted, but Mary gifted him a book and in MAG 35, among all the 200 Leitners that he could’ve picked from the hidden library, Gerard chose that one: the most useless one. Maybe mommy didn’t teach him well enough how to find them.

But also: Gertrude asked Mary “Who does the book come from?”, which implies Leitner didn’t write it. And Mary herself opened her statement by saying he “collected” them.

That means Leitner never actually wrote these books. He just put a stamp on them. This Norwegian motherfucker simply took books from all the supernatural shits and collected them in his secret library.

What an absolute fucker, he tricked me into thinking he was some kind of evil genius, while he’s just a collector/archivist of sorts. But hey, in this case, I want to know what the fuck happened to him. Where is he, now?

*

5) The End!

A-ah, here is the name of another supernatural shit! This one is called the End, but who or what it is? Mary Keay says “I could never truly serve it - I just don’t find death that interesting”, so the End is death, I suppose. Could it be the same from “Cheating Death” (MAG 29)? It wasn’t exactly a person, but more of a force that took different people. However, we also found out that these supernatural shits can be concepts too, so it could work.

Gosh, I’m so excited! We are starting to get more names of these little shits!

*

6) Mary Keay woke up and chose violence

In one statement, she:

insulted the Institute, by calling the Artefact Storage a “collection of mediocrity”

insulted Leitner by calling him “boring”

killed Dr. Tellison because she didn’t use her power for worthy causes 

insulted tea (which is probably the most outrageous insult for Brits)

insulted Elias’ lazy ass (“He’s not exactly big on action though, is he.”)

insulted the “fake Leitner book”

Sheesh, this woman literally woke up and decided to kill everything on her way. I stan.

*

7) A laptop!

Jon found Gertrude’s laptop and a weird key! More mysteries! More weird stuff! What does this key open? What does the laptop hide? No idea, but I’m thrilled!

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MAG 63 - The End of the Tunnel

Ah, so there it is. The Dark, Maxwell Rayner or whatever its name is. The supernatural shit related to darkness, that one.

And… it looks weirdly similar to the figure from MAG 3. Is Not!Sasha an appendix/servant/part of this supernatural shit? Or is it just a coincidence that they look very similar?

Also, is this what happened to Sasha too? Not!Sasha killed her by decapitating her shadow? That’s a very awful death, fine, but it’s also extremely cool. What a sick way to kill, so creative! Love it.

There could be a connection between the Church of Saint James and the People’s Church of the Divine

Host? Maybe, why not? After all, if these things can be worshipped, why not do it in an actual church? Best cover-up. Also, the priest took the camera from Miss Gallagher-Nelson, so it’s very possible he did it to prevent any photo of their supernatural god from going out.

Melanie King is back! I remember her and okay, it’s kinda sad her career is over in the “fake supernatural Youtube department”. Hey, maybe she can find a place here in the Archives! Honestly, it would be interesting if she becomes Jon’s sort-of-protege and he teaches her about his Archivist job. I don’t wish for him to die or for her to become Big Brother’s new food/body/whatever, but I would enjoy a master/protege connection between them anyway.

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MAG 64 - Burial Rites

A statement about a mummy that cannot die? Very cool and I love that it’s a nice variant of the trope: “evil mummy wants to kill you”. Rather than you, this mummy was a lot more interested in killing themselves and you can see their desperation in how they took the knife and tried to stab themselves. I felt some pity for this poor creature who just wanted to end their misery.

Considering we recently talked about the End and remembered MAG 29, I suppose this mummy is one of the immortal humans that defeated death, became death, passed the role to someone else and were left with a very uncomfortable immortality - an immortality that apparently goes beyond having your organs removed and your body being closed in a tomb.

Wow, just imagine how awful and terrifying it would’ve been, to feel your organs being removed and your body trapped in a tomb and yet, you still cannot die. It’s a super cool concept and I love it.

Awww, Jon and Basira are bonding even more. This time, over their mutual inability to be proper spies. They’re getting ready for marriage XD

Aside from that, Jon’s attachment to the statements is starting to be a bit concerning. At first, he simply asked for them, now he literally went to the police station because he wanted more statements. Are we sure this poor guy is okay? I mean, I know he’s not, but this weird “hunger for statements” is way more worrisome than some “simple” paranoia.

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MAG 65 - Binary

Speaking of this statement, there are a few things I really liked.

First of all, I generally enjoy “deep web-ish” digital horror stories that revolve around the contrast between humans and machines. Hence why, the story of a guy who successfully uploaded his own mind into a computer immediately got my attention.

Second, I liked how this concept was handled here. It wasn’t the usual “scary chat with the dead” idea, but we got a whole ass video instead, featuring a guy eating his computer one piece at a time. A video that keeps following you on every device forcing you to look at it in full. Very cool and very creative.

Third, this particular sentence from Mrs. Tessa: “I can’t stop wondering what it must be like to try and have thoughts, messy human thoughts, trapped in the rigid digital processes of a computer.”. I think it perfectly encapsulates this concept, the situation, the video and its distorted way of communicating.

Oh, so Tessa didn’t come to the Institute just to record a statement: it was Jon who “lured” her there, to get the tech help he needed in order to access Gertrude’s laptop. Glad to see this man is still very clever, despite his paranoia.

MY BOY TIM. MY PRECIOUS BOY TIM. He woke up, entered Jon’s office and decided that violence was not enough, so he used extra violence and:

destroyed Jon, by calling him “you pompous idiot” and telling him he should’ve been fired

destroyed Martin, Sasha, Elias and, if there were some worms, he would’ve destroyed them too. Twice.

I mean, not that he hasn’t a valid reason to be frustrated. While everyone (me included) was worried about Jon’s paranoia and stalking tendencies, no one asked him “Hey, Tim, how are you?”. The poor boy was literally left alone to deal with his own shit. Of course he’s frustrated and angry. Of course he wants to leave.

And it’s immensely tragic that Jon understands, he even offers Tim to leave if he says it… but Tim can’t. And Jon can’t fire him either. And I bet everything that it’s all because of Big Brother’s influence. Goddamn Big Brother.

Hence why, I will soon run into this series, grab Tim and throw him out of this place. My boy needs to relax, possibly in a huge beautiful spa, surrounded by people ready to serve him and give him all the comforts he needs.

Tim deserves all of this.

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MAG 66 - Held in Customs

Two lines into this statement and I am perplexed already. What does that mean this is a “Statement of Vincent Yang regarding his claimed imprisonment by Mikaele Salesa”? Now Salesa is kidnapping people too? Wtf?!

But no, the truth is that Mr. Yang basically kidnapped himself by touching something he shouldn’t have touched. And even if Salesa told him “don’t go to sleep”, he did it anyway.

And if all of this wasn’t weird enough, he got rescued by Peter Lukas, who was basically trying to buy that weird wooden crate from Salesa, opened it up and found this poor fucker inside. Best rescue ever.

Jon might be the most paranoid man on the planet, but he’s also the most relatable too. First, he gives the perfect definition of Salesa:

Then he reads my thoughts and anticipates me:

Then he finds out Gertrude was trying to buy a Leitner! And she even managed to get three books:

a special printing of The Seven Lamps of Architecture, by John Ruskin

a copy of The Key of Solomon

a 1910 pamphlet simply entitled A Disappearance

which translated from writer to reader means:

more supernatural architects

a well-known book with a weird twist

a future statement

And yes, Jon is right again about Gertrude: the question isn’t who killed her but why. What did she learn? I thought she just wanted to say “fuck you” to Big Brother and escape from her destiny. But what if she was trying to do something different? I  don’t know if she wanted to connect with it/defy it/connect with another supernatural shit, but oh boy, I can’t wait to find out.

_______________________________

MAG 67 - Burning Desire

Ooooh, a statement about Agnes Montague! Aaaaand we didn’t learn more about her than what we already knew: she’s associated with fire, she probably has some kind of pyrokinetic powers and she’s a supernatural shit - sort of.

This was (probably) confirmed by her words about having destiny. When Mr. Barnabas told her he doesn’t really have one, she replied with “That must be nice”: almost as if she has a very specific destiny to fulfill and can’t escape from it. Maybe because she became the body of some supernatural shit? And since then, she acquired new weird powers, but she also lost the human freedom of making her own destiny and being her own person. Once again, it reminds me of Michael and the importance of identity for some of these creatures.

Okay, time to recap the members of this Cult of the Lightless Flame for future reference:

Diego Molina, the guy who was in the hospital with Gerard (and died in a fire)

Arthur Nolan, Jane Prentiss’ landlord (died in a fire)

another unidentified guy (I bet he also died in a fire)

a short, muscular Asian woman, with a tattoo of a burning guy

Agnes Montague, who is probably the Lightless Flame. Or its embodiment

Also, what did the Asian woman mean, when she said Agnes could’ve been “released” if she did some job? What kind of job it was? Was it related to MAG 8? She felt when the tree was pulled down, after all…

There are still a lot of things to learn about Agnes Montague and this cult, so I can’t wait to know more.

One last thing about the cult: wow, Jon, dramatic much? I use names like “supernatural shit” and “Spider Gang”, you use names like “Cult of the Lightless Flame”. If I were you, I would’ve called these people “Fire Gang” or something similar. But hey, maybe that’s why I’m not the protagonist of this story XD

Speaking of Jon… he wants to visit the tunnels again. Sigh. Life still has so much to offer, Jon. Why trying so hard to get killed? If even Elias “Suspicious” Bouchard is telling you to chill, then you know something’s wrong.

But hey, I suppose Jon should do some stupid shit to end this second season. And what better way to end it, if not by waking up whatever terror is hidden in those tunnels?

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MAG 68 - The Tale of a Field Hospital

I said before that it’s a shame most of these statements “have the same voice”, so I was pleasantly surprised by the language used here. Mr. Russo uses a very elegant, poetic way of speaking, especially at the beginning: it conveys the image of an artist very well and it helps differentiate him from other people.

Here we are, back with John Amherst after seeing him dying/not dying in MAG 36. And guess what, he’s a supernatural shit as well. Everyone is a supernatural shit in this world.

In this case, he’s probably The Disease or something similar. I’ll call him the Disease, until I will find out what is his shit’s actual name.

While speaking of the powers, it looks like he gets infected all the time, dies and comes back to life. But hey, look at the bright side: at least he doesn’t feel miserable about it. On the contrary, he seems pretty joyful and he even jokes about being “such a restless man”. Glad to see he takes death so funnily. I wonder what the End thinks of this little fucker.

Was this book a Leitner? I don’t know, it seems like one. After all, the book is about the supernatural shit, so… maybe? I’m not sure :/ I hope we will find a list of all the Leitners or I’ll have to tackle the Norwegian motherfucker and ask directly to him.

Wow, Jon didn’t wait two seconds: as soon as he got the key to the tunnel, he immediately went down and got lost. Right after Elias told him to not do too many secret explorations and put himself in danger.

Look, Jon, look what you’re making me do: agreeing with Elias.

Luckily, Not!Sasha was lurking around like the creepy imposter it is and it seemed like Jon noticed something weird about her. Something small, sure, but still something. Will he find out by the end of season two?

_______________________________

MAG 69 - Thought for the day

So we’re finally meeting, spider lady.

It took her a long time to appear but hey, I suppose that since she’s (probably) the leader of the Spider Gang, she was waiting for the right time to make her entrance.

For what I saw in this statement, she looks both fine and scary as fuck and, just like every woman in this series likes to do, she wakes up and chooses violence. In this case, violence with a side dish of “projectors” doing some magical weird circle.

Uhm… mood, I suppose?

The relationship between Jon and Tim truly went downhill, didn’t it? And I like how it’s addressed because:

I’m not the one who realizes it’s because of Jon’s paranoia - Jon himself knows it. He literally told Martin that working is all they can do together now. He proves he’s still a clever, well-written character.

Even if we feel sad and frustrated by this situation, we can also understand why Jon became so paranoid. And it’s because the story until now makes sense, the events have a logical progression and the development isn’t rushed. Everything happened for a reason and there was always a logical explanation behind it.

Even if we as readers feel like Jon did a lot of stupid shit, deep down we know we would’ve probably done the same, if we were in his same place.

About the last point, it can also apply to Jon’s growing curiosity. Let’s not fool ourselves: we’re also very curious to know what’s hidden in those tunnels. We’re scared to find out, just like him. We know that, last time Jon went down there, some supernatural shit (which I suppose is not Michael?) told him to go away. He knows that too.

But hey, I suppose there’s a reason why curiosity is one of mankind’s strongest aspects. We are all curious and we all would do stupid shit just to satisfy it.

And if some of us maybe won’t go down these scary tunnels, we can still understand Jon, when he says:

“I should just leave it. They’re right. But I can’t not know.”

I just hope this man won’t end up dying just to satisfy his need to know.

_______________________________

MAG 70 - The Book of the Dead

Once again, we have a concept already explored in other works. But, again, I love how it’s handled here: some creative choices are wonderful and I need to give them the attention they deserve.

First of all, how the book looks very old at the start and gets progressively “newer” over the centuries. It gives it more “personality”, you know? And it’s more fitting for the concept of a book that talks about the death of several people throughout history.

Second, it’s a very specific book, that illustrates violent deaths only. This makes it more convincing too, because not everyone in the world dies of violent death.

Third, I adore the idea that death changes according to your own choices. The exact moment Mr. Murray decided not to visit Lancashire, his death changed. Every time he made a new decision, his death changed. And it drew closer too, which contributes to the sense of dread and inevitability typical of death.

And speaking of the inevitability of death, I like how it portrays it here. Death is inevitable, not because “your fate is predetermined and you cannot escape from it”: you can actually change it. But death will still be there. Even if there is no predetermined destiny, death is still inescapable. Great way to convey this concept, loved it so much.

I also found particularly fascinating how, after Mr Murray’s death, there were white pages. Why? Is it because he didn’t pass the book to someone else? Is it because he tried to destroy it? Where is this book now? Are the pages still white?

Yes, Jon, I know. I also thought this Norwegian motherfucker called Jurgen Leitner was the author of these books and yes, I also thought he sold his soul/talked to Big Brother and gained some magical creepy powers. But nope, Leitner is just a guy who took all these books and put them together because… I don’t know, I suppose he woke up one day and said “violence is not enough, I want to see the world burn”. This absolute fucker.

And speaking of more books, it looks like we lost Gertrude’s copy of The Key of Salomon. I suppose she didn’t want to see the world burn, but just this book. But why? Uuuurgh, there are so many juicy mysteries and still so few answers!

_______________________________

In conclusion

I suppose the only real answer we got here is that Leitner is an even bigger imposter than Not!Sasha, because he tricked us into believing he was some kind of genius/powerful entity, while he’s actually just a collector. He’s still a creepy collector and it’s thanks to him we know about these books, but still. Not cool pretending to be more than you are, man. Not cool.

We also learned more about the End (and yes, I suppose The Book of Dead is theirs) and I finally met the spider lady. These little supernatural shits are introducing themselves one by one and I’m thrilled to see more of them, but I’m also asking myself: how will Mr. Sims (TMA’s author) handle all of these characters? Usually, the more characters you have, the more difficult is to handle them all and give each of them a distinct personality/characterization. I hope he has clear plans, because I have high expectations and want to see what his writing choices will be.

Gosh, next week season 2 will end and oh boy, am I scared. Jon is still paranoid, the relationships are all over the place, Not!Sasha is still an imposter and there is a suspicious lack of Michaels. Where are they? Will my Best Boyo come back from the war (he didn’t want to take part in)? Will everyone keep waking up and choosing violence? We will find out next week, I suppose.

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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