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twig-tea · 2 days ago

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2024 BL/GL/QL Round-Up Post

Since I did this last year, I thought for posterity I'd post another reflection on everything I watched that completed in 2024. For me, that means anything that started in 2023 but the last episode was in 2024 is on this list, but anything that was still be airing after 31 December 2024 11:59 my time (EST) is not on this list, even if the bulk of the show did air in 2024.

A few stats:

[The image is TL;DR for what follows lol]

I watched ~150 discrete pieces of new QL content in 2024 (series/films) that I tracked [It gets complicated with specials and split seasons but I did my best to be consistent]; plus 10 things that I would consider "adjacent". For contrast, I listed 110 pieces of discrete content in 2023; that's a 45% increase year over year!

This clocked in at an est. 900 hours of new BL/GL and adjacent content (up from ~600 in 2023--which also tells us that the content I tracked was a little longer overall because that's a full 50% increase in terms of hours spent).

The new content I watched came from 9 different countries [same as 2023]: (Cambodia [1], Philippines [2, down from 3], Hong Kong [1], Japan [32, up from 18 in 2023], Korea [20; was 19], Myanmar [2, up from 1], Taiwan [12, up from 6], Thailand [75; up from 56], Vietnam [4, down from 7]), China [5], and then 3 joint effort productions from Thailand/Korea [2] and Thailand/Taiwan [1]

This means just under ~47% of the content I watched on this list is from Thailand [close to the 50% in 2023]

So many more shows had multiple or varied distributions this year, but like last year ~85% of my content was on 3 platforms: YouTube [38%; down from 40%], GaGaOoLaLa [30%; up from 23%] and iQIYI [17%; down from 21%] Note: I'm in Canada and my access routes are sometimes affected by that.

As unbelievable as it sounds with all that, I did actually drop shows this year! I dropped 9 shows, which is I think more than I've dropped in my entire previous 20+ years watching queer asian media combined (that might be an exaggeration but I do really hate dropping shows); 4 Thai, 3 Filipino, 1 Taiwanese and 1 Japanese (listed at the very bottom of this post if you want to be messy). I didn't track any dropped shows in 2023.

And if you're wondering how many shows there are in the world in total, I am aware of an additional 11 shows I just did not have time to even start (2 from Cambodia, 4 from the Philippines, 3 from Thailand, and 1 each from Korea and Myanmar). That does not include the vertical short reels that I didn't track this year--see @ellsieee 's tracking post for these--as well as several GL shorts from JPC media YouTube channel and Sastra film app YouTube channel that I just have not had time to try or even keep track of, though I do peek in on them to see if there's anything that looks particularly good, and I do always link these folks in my GL round-ups.

All of this doesn't include re-watches or catching up on old shows, or non-QL queer media, or non-queer media (the hets sometimes do deserve rights); but does include films as well as shows.

I hope you all appreciate that with this much content, and with my general brand of being unable to make decisions, I really struggled to narrow down a top 10 list. What follows is the best I could do lol

Top 25 QLs I'd Recommend From This Year:

[Links are self-indulgently to what I thought was the most relevant post I'd made this year relevant to that series/media, mostly spoiler-free pitches]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S2 (Tsukutabe) [GL]

Love in the Big City

Love For Love's Sake

Tadaima Okaeri [anime]

Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka (Oppan)

Marahuyo Project

Knock Knock Boys

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Love is Like a Poison (Doku koi)

Ossan's Love Returns

Twilight out of Focus [anime]

At 25:00 in Akasaka

Cooking Crush

Cherry Magic [anime]

Cherry Magic Thailand

Takara no Vidro

Soul Sisters / Twin Rabbits [GL]

Perfect Propose

Unknown the series

Paradise of Thorns [film]

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

The Secret of Us [GL]

Mr Mitsuya's Planned Feeding (Mitsuya-Sensei)

The Time of Fever

A Man Who Defies the World of BL S3

I tried to put these in some kind of order but honestly if you asked me to rank them the numbering would change all the time and I would combust. The ones I liked best are closer to the top of this list. I also debated back and forth on whether Paradise of Thorns counts as QL so many times. But in the end I decided the main character was queer and queer romance of a sort was at the heart of the drama, so I've left it in this list even though technically it should probably sit with the 'adjacent's.

Worth noting that though only ~20% of the content I watched was from Japan, ~45% of my favourites were from Japan.

+5 notable pulp offerings worth mentioning:

Bagan Beginning (Myanmar)

City of Stars (Thailand)

Gym Affairs (China)

To the Ex Who Hated Me (Korea, GL)

Under the Oak Tree (Vietnam)

I think I'll do a top 10 GL post separately since we had enough content to warrant a top 10 (yay!) but this is already long enough. I just want to take a second to acknowledge that this year was so much better than in 2023 when I didn't feel like I could recommend any of the new GL shows. Thank you content creators for better and more GL in 2024, please keep that energy for 2025!

Bonus: Not a QL but worth calling out:

How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (Thai film)

I saw both this and Paradise of Thorns in theatres during the Toronto International Film Festival and they were both so powerful! Extremely different tones but they surprisingly hit on similar themes, and very beautifully filmed. HTMMBGD was a complicated film filled with very rounded and complex characters, and I still think about it all the time. Very excited for more folks to have access to both of these soon.

Sidenote: The fact that I watched 45% more shows in 2024 than I did in 2023 and still managed to keep my rec list to 30 (*cough1cough*) does seem to back up the general feeling that though we had more content, we didn't have a proportional rise in good content. I do want to crunch those numbers in another post.

Double Plus Bonus: Best Older QL Content I watched for the first time in 2024:

Life as a Girl / Joshi-teki Seikatsu (Japan, 2018; I'm so sad I missed out on this one for so long due to misinfo, it is fantastic! Thanks to @so-much-yet-to-learn for helping propel me to this one)

Iron Ladies (Thailand, 2000; thank you for the rec, @happypotato48)

Nacchan's Secret / Himitsu no Nacchan (Japan, 2023; thank you @furritsubs for making this watch possible)

Can I Buy Your Love From a Vending Machine / Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasuka? (Japan, 2023; thanks to @nicks-den for making this watch possible)

I Fell In Love with the Villainness (Japan, 2023; watched because of a convo with @pilanthitasanilaphat)

Doi Boy (Thailand, 2023; this one I had on my list and just had to work up the energy to watch, but it was a beautiful film and I'm glad I did)

BL Metamorphosis (Japan, 2022; another thank you to @furritsubs)

Dear Dad (India, 2016; thanks to @neuroticbookworm for the rec!)

Salty Blue / Kakenuketara, Umi (Japan, 2023, thank you again @nicks-den!)

[I can't believe I forgot this at first] The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand, 2022, thanks for going on that journey and writing great meta with me and for calling me out for forgetting @lurkingshan!)

There is so much good content in the world and despite my best efforts I haven't seen everything! So grateful to the fansubbers and people who write about past shows so that those of us who missed them the first time still get a chance to see them.

In terms of my output based on all this input, I continued not lurking this year, and have enjoyed it very much; see my Top 10 posts from 2024 here as well as the content I linked in my recommended shows above--going through the process of adding those links really highlighted to me how much more I've written this year, and how much more motivated I am to write about shows I love. It's no surprise I had dedicated posts for most of my top shows! To highlight a few specific projects this year that I'm proud of, I participated in the Love in the Big City Book Club read and watch-alongs organized by @lurkingshan, which was such a fun project that I am grateful for, and I started my GL Odds and Ends posts (tagged with #gl recs) that I am still feeling out but am really enjoying seeing the impact whenever someone watches a show because they found out about it through one of my posts. I also made an appearance on several episodes of @the-conversation-pod and had an incredible time trying out different things in a quarterly 'Dispatch' and having some really rich conversations with @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup. I love this corner of tumblr that we've carved out for ourselves as a QL watching community, and I just want to say to everyone I've interacted with in 2024: Thank you, and wish good things for you all in 2025!

Full list of 2024 shows under the cut for anyone curious! [Mostly in order it completed but may be slightly off--if a special aired immediately after the final episode I only list them as one thing and count the airing of the special as the end date, for example].

Bagan Beginning

Love Senior the Series

After SunDown

VIP Only

Twins the Series

Last Twilight

Night Dream the Series

My Universe

Bake Me Please special episode

Sahara Sensei to Tori Kun / Mr Sahara and Toki-kun

Love for Love's Sake

7 Days Before Valentine

Happy Ending

PitBabe the series

For Him the series

Cooking Crush

The Sign

Chaser Game W

Playboyy the series

Perfect Propose

Ossan's Love Returns

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna S2 / She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

Cherry Magic Th

Dead Friend Forever

Sukidoya / Although I Love You and You / Sukiyaken kedo dou yaroka?

Healing Thingyan

Love You in Every Multiverse

Cherry Magic (anime)

Please Teach Me

Anti Reset

Jazz for Two

Blank the Series

A Secretly Love

To Be Continued the series

Love is Better the Second time around / Koi wo Surunara Nidome ga Joto

City of Stars

Sea You Soon

Human Too

Man Who Defies the World of BL s3

Gray Shelter / Gray Currents / Grey Current

Gym Affairs

1000 Years Old the Series

Love is Like a Cat

To the Ex Who Hated Me

Lady Boy Friends the series

Deep Night the series + Special Episode

Unknown the series

Memory in the Letter

You are My Star

Lonely Girls

Boys Be Brave / Roommates / I Can't Confess

Blossom Campus

Two Worlds

VIP Only special episode

Pray In Love

I Fell In Love with My Male Best Friend

Friend With Benefit

Stay By My Side special episode

23.5

You Made My Day

Living With Him

City Boy Log pt3

Anti-Reset special episode

The Time of Huan Nan

Xiao Xiang Yi Jiu

Inverse Identity

At 25:00 in Akasaka

Only Boo!

Tadaima Okaeri

Love Bully (Club Friday)

Blank the Series S2

Marahuyo Project

The Two of Us

Blue Boys

OMG Vampire!

My Stand-In

We Are the series

Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka / Oppan

Wandee Goodday

Under the Oak Tree

The Rebound

Love Enemy

Love in the Apocalypse

Bad Guy

My Marvellous Dream is You/ Dream the Series

Century of Love

Knock Knock Boys

Be Your Star

Meet You at the Blossom

BOYTOY

The Secret of Us

Ayaka is in love with Hiroko / Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-sempai ni koi shiteru

My Love Mix-Up!

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

Love Sea the series

Cosmetic Playlover

City Boy Log s4

Sunset Vibes

Mr Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Takara no Vidro / Takara's Treasure

Paradise of Thorns

I Hear the Sunspot

The Time of Fever / when your temperature reaches my fingertips

4 Minutes The Trainee

Twilight out of Focus

Happy of the End

The On1y One

Live in Love

Heaven'sxCandy

The Two of Us s2

Addicted Heroin

I Saw You In My Dream

Monster Next Door

Our Golden Times

Affair

First Note of Love

Battle of the Writers

Reverse 4 U

Unlock Your Love

Chaser Game W s2

Let free the Curse of Taekwondo

Uncle Unknown

The Hidden Moon the series

Love in the Big City [the series]

Smells Like Green Spirit

Red Whisper

Eccentric Romance/PT is Love

My Damn Business

Apple My Love

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave

The Nipple Talk

Kidnap the series

Every You Every Me

Jack & Joker

People Come Later

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

The Loyal Pin

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2

Love is Like a Poison / doku koi: doku mo sugireba koi to naru

Bad Guy My Boss

Haunted Hearts

Seoul Blues

The Renovation

Love Sick 2024

Love in the Big City [the film]

Spare Me Your Mercy / Euthanasia

Soul Sisters / Twin Rabbits

My Hot Butch Roommate

Whisper Me a Love Song / Sasayaku you ni koi wo utau

Boys' Christmas

Bonus: FuFuKnows bi-weekly shorts [every other week they post a short film, almost always a QL storyline; there were 23 in 2024]

And those QL-adjacent shows I mentioned [these are all adapted from QL media or starred QL actors or were part of a QL franchise but did not have a canon queer romance at the core of its storytelling]:

The Spirealm

Close Friend 3 - Soju Bomb

How to Make a Million Before Grandma Dies

Man Suang

High School Return Of A Gangster / I, a Gangster, Became a High Schooler

Kimi to Yukite Saku: Shinsengumi Seishunroku

Hoshikuzu Telepath

A Balloon's Landing

Peaceful Property

My Strawberry Film

The shows I dropped:

Time the series

Beside You

Sugar Dog Life

The Whisperer

Kiseki in Tokyo

Q18

Sky Valley

The Fate Trap

Dear Miss Becky

And as a shout-out in penance, the shows I had on my list to get to but haven't yet watched:

A Blue Sky (Cambodia)

Ending Friend (Cambodia)

Pretty Boys (Philippines - requires an access fee on VivaMax+)

Oh My Boo (Philippines)

The Perfect Heartbreak (Philippines)

Where I found You (Philippines)

My_ the series (Myanmar)

What's In My Bag (Korean GL - requires an access fee on Vimeo)

Complicated (Thai)

Club Friday: Hot Love Issue (Thai)

2nd Chance (Thai; not to be confused with Second Chance, this was a smaller 3-episode short series from this year)

Thank you for reading!

#ql superlatives 2024 #bl meta #gl meta #multi bl #multi ql #typed so that i can stop thinking it #twig talks #superlatives are so hard for me this is the best I could do #if anyone wants to know anything about any of this content feel free to ask!#long post

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the-conversation-pod · 11 days ago

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Pulpmania: We Are and Knock Knock, Boys!

AND WE'RE BACK!

Join us this week as we discuss the nature and definition of a BL pulp, their role in the industry, and a comparison between two recent projects. We're joined by long-time fandom watcher @twig-tea to discuss We Are and Knock Knock, Boys!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:01:15 - Introduction 00:05:56 – We Are: The Branded Pairs 00:14:37 – We Are: A Rorschach Test of a Show 00:30:47 – We Are: Final Thoughts and Ratings 00:38:21 – Knock Knock, Boys! 00:48:39 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Sex Positivity 00:55:51 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Our Fab Four (and Jane) 01:09:58 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Final Thoughts and Ratings 01:14:54 – Importance of Pulps as Labs

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00 – Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

And there it is. I’m Ben.

NiNi

I’m NiNi.

Ben

And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.

NiNi

Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.

Ben

We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.

NiNi

And I review from a romance and drama lens.

Ben

So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…

NiNi

If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…

Ben

And if you generally just love simping…

NiNi

There is a lot of simping on this podcast…

Ben

We are the show for you!

01:15 – Introduction

Ben

And we're back. This week we have brought our good friend @twig-tea back with us. Say hello, Twig.

Twig

Hi everyone!

Ben

Twig, who has watched way too many shows—far more than me—is joining us to talk about two pulps this week. We're gonna be talking about We Are the series from GMMTV and Knock Knock, Boys! from WeTV.

Before we get into that, I think it'll be very beneficial for us to set a baseline on what a pulp is. Twig, you've watched over 600 BLs. How would you describe a pulp, considering most BL is basically indie cinema?

Twig

One of the things that's characteristic of a pulp is normally low production values and formulaic plots; but formulaic plots, you could argue, is kind of one of the defining features of BL. So, when I think about what a pulp is in the BL space, I'm usually thinking about particularly inferior writing, sensationalist beyond the normal level of unrealistic storylines, racy, and anything that's, like, particularly cheap-looking or feeling.

Ben

I feel like a lot of the times we're using pulp as a way to—maybe not intentionally—but it ends up being like a derisive way to refer to a project. And for me, if I'm describing something as a pulp, I'm talking about something that felt like it was very quickly produced to turn money—where it doesn't feel like there were a lot of people in the room who are overly concerned about individual choices that went down in the production and how they contributed to a whole. You can feel, sometimes, that different groups worked on different parts of a project, ‘cause some parts of it work really well, but maybe don't connect to others.

NiNi

So, I have not watched 600 BLs. But my definition of a pulp, I'm thinking lower production values. But to me, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think that when you are looking at a piece of work that doesn't have a lot of budget, it can bring out some really interesting things in the production depending on how creative people can get. And I think that's a good way to look at it going into these two in particular, because on the one hand, you've got a pulp that probably did spend quite a little bit of money. And on the other hand, you have a pulp that clearly didn't have a lot of money to spend, but used its money well. So to me, the low budget aspect, or the minimal production aspect of things, doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.

Twig

Yeah, I completely agree with that. I think the characteristics of a pulp are about how it feels, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad. I feel like people use the word ‘pulp’ whenever they just mean that a show is bad, and that's not the same thing.

NiNi

I don't watch nearly as much as you guys. What are some of your top pulps? What are some of the pulps that you'll always watch?

Ben

Make It Right, every time.

Twig

Yes! Cosigned.

NiNi

That is a great one.

Ben

Despite our impending conversation, I still feel very positively about Make It Right.

NiNi

What about you, Twig?

Twig

I wasn't ready for this question and I always take forever to answer a ‘favorites’ question. So, I will say my favorite one that I've seen recently, the one that I still think about every so often after watching it, was Lady Boyfriends. I talked about it in the last season’s Grab Bag episode. It was a remake from 2014, and it has a lot of problems, but it's still doing a lot of really interesting things.

NiNi

My favorite pulp is always gonna be Love By Chance. Love by Chance is extremely problematic in a lot of ways, but it's got a lotta heart to it.

Ben

So much New Siwaj references in a lot of this. I think my other one will probably be... probably Rainbow Prince.

Twig

Ahh Rainbow Prince is so good! See, Ben's actually naming good shows, I'm just naming weird shows. [Ben laughs]

NiNi

I always tread lightly when Rainbow Prince is brought up on the show, because I still have not finished watching it and Ben will not let me rest until I finish watching it.

Ben

That is much to your chagrin.

NiNi

And he is correct. I just gotta find the time.

Ben

Mm mm.

All right, so let's stop dancing around this thing. Let's dive into it.

05:56 – We Are: The Branded Pairs

NiNi

We'll start by talking about We Are. Ben, break it down for us. What is We Are about?

Ben

We Are the series is about how GMMTV can make so much money by just putting boys that people like in front of you in an almost plotless device for 16 weeks.

We Are the series is about a group of college students who are in two different schools that are vaguely connected to each other by one person in common. Through a series of interactions two of them come into conflict-slash-flirtation immediately between an art student and an engineer. Other guys have crushes on each other. And much of the show is about the slow matriculation of these crushes through the BL TikTok filter.

NiNi

What is the BL TikTok filter?

Ben

It's the fact that all of the sequences are filmed with the boys as close to each other in the center frame so they fit on a vertical phone for the quick hits on TikTok.

NiNi

[sing song voice] The more you know.

Ben

Well, it's about virality. The head of GMMTV has said that they no longer care about ratings. What they care about is virality. They care about hitting those kilig moments to make sure that you get all the butterflies you wanna feel. And they're going to blast that moment into socials so that it goes viral—the same way the gifmakers on Tumblr are going to rush to gif the most BL moment of the episode so that they can be first to get the notes—it’s the same thing that GMMTV is doing. As soon as that episode ends, they're gonna be on YouTube with the highlights and they're gonna be on TikTok and Instagram with the short reel so that those can go viral and get pushed out and they can draw more viewers to their socials to gain more advertising dollars as a result. And to maximize that on the thin frame of the vertical screen, almost all of your big BL moments now are gonna be filmed like you're watching a TV show from the 1960s and we're still on 4 by 3 screens again because the frame is so narrow on a phone.

NiNi

I am not of the social media generation, so it's always fascinating to hear how this stuff has moved on while I have ignored it. [laughs]

So, let's get into the show itself. So, as Ben intimated, this is a show with a lot of boys and... multiple friend groups coalescing together into a whole. And along the way there's a lot of little romances. There are four main couples in this thing. GMMTV, what they've done here is that they have utilized casting as a shortcut for certain things, which I actually thought was kind of a smart way to use casting.

We talked before, maybe a couple of episodes ago about the art/commerce nexus, and I talked a little bit about why because of it, the branded pair system doesn't bother me as much as it bothers others. I thought this was actually a good use of branded pairs if you're trying to get people to watch something—putting a show together that relies on your affection for some of these people. It really helped pull you along through the show until it got to the point where the show itself started to pull you along. I thought that was really clever, actually.

Twig

I guess, if you're accepting the premise that we're not gonna use writing to do that, [laughs] which is the part that I'm upset about, but maybe I'm jumping ahead.

Ben

Before we get there—twig-tea, you're an archivist who's been watching the genre for like 20-plus years. How about you walk us through the four major pairs of boys that are in this and how their current pairing in this show reflects the way they've been branded previously?

Twig

There are four central relationships in this show. Phum and Peem, played by Pond and Phuwin. PondPhuwin have been a branded pair for, I want to say three years.

NiNi

Started in Fish Upon the Sky.

Twig

Have been in Never Let Me Go, and then the Our Skyy episode for Never Let Me Go, as well. They also do a ton of branded pair things in between their shows and have played in heterosexual series in between their appearances in BL. Pond and Phuwin tend to play…how do I describe this dynamic?

Ben

They really like for Phuwin to be low-key pissy about something all the time and for Pond to smile back at him for it.

NiNi

It's a grump and a simp.

Twig

Yeah, Grump and Simp. Thank you.

The next one is Q and Toey, played by Winny and Satang.

NiNi

They first appeared in Fish Upon the Sky as well.

Ben

They have a minor appearance together in Star in My Mind.

NiNi

They were kind of pre-paired in Fish Upon the Sky. Like, there was like a thing, but it didn't actually turn into a thing.

Twig

They first appeared as a firm couple with any real time on camera in My School President in 2022. That was a rivals-to-lovers storyline. In We Are, they've changed it up, which was actually quite refreshing, and the relationship between WinnySatang is a mentor-mentee relationship. It's Winny who's the grumpier character, and Satang plays a very actually happy-go-lucky outgoing character that is very different to their appearance in My School President, so it's interesting to see them do something different.

Aou and Boom play Tan and Fang. They first appeared in…Enchanté? But I don't think they actually got together in Enchanté.

Ben

I gotta be honest, I don't remember.

NiNi

I do not remember anything about Enchanté.

[all laugh]

Twig

I want to say it was mostly unrequited with a hint of them getting together at the end, but don't hold me to that. I really don't remember very well.

Ben

I do know that we saw them properly together in Hidden Agenda.

Twig

Before that they were very heavily shipped in Vice Versa. And I think they got, like, one, like, cheek kiss at the end of Vice Versa. And then Hidden Agenda, that was their first, the show where they were properly a couple. Now what do I remember about them in Hidden Agenda? [laughs]

`Ben

Nothing!

Twig

That show is so forgettable.

Ben

They had an interesting thing in Hidden Agenda, because you had Aou playing a known closeted jock type character who really cared about his boyfriend but was incapable of coming out of the closet, and it caused real strain in their relationship.

Twig

Yeah. So they had an extra lot of angst because they were an established couple but couldn't be seen together. Most of the time we saw them was about that, about the tension in their relationship.

NiNi

The best thing that happened in Hidden Agenda, easily.

Twig

Interestingly in We Are, they play a couple that, apparently in the book, was an established couple, but they rolled that back so we got to see them get together. The dynamic is a little flipped almost, where Aou plays the very heavy simping character, and Fang is just sort of bemused by his energy and into him, but not nearly as effusive.

NiNi

It's a puppy-kitten dynamic.

Twig

There you go, puppy-kitten. [laughs]

And then the last couple, ChainPun, played by Mark and Poon. Poon had to come in very last minute to replace Mark's former branded pair partner, who he's been with since My Gear and Your Gown—which was 2020, so actually quite a long time.

But I will say that Poon stepped in and did a great job blending with the whole group and I would say after watching the series I could not tell where they had to reshoot and fit stuff in. That was one thing that I think they handled really well.

14:37 – We Are: A Rorschach Test of a Show

Ben

I'm just gonna transition us to the next part pretty awkwardly. I did not like this show, and I had to drop it after five weeks because it was pissing me off. Because the two of you finished this show—I want to hear about what was holding you into the show before I start picking at it.

We'll start with you, NiNi, because you loved this show so much. This show...upheld your psyche for like four months. How? Why? Please!

NiNi

[laughs] It did, it did. It's a combination of things. For me, it came at exactly the right time and hit exactly the right buttons in me, in terms of what I needed at the time. And even looking back on it now, even though I'm a little ways out of what I was going through at the time, I still find it quite comforting.

The two big parts of it that I really, really love. I love the way that the center of this show is about the friendship, it's about the multiple friend groups and how they become this one big friend group. This one group of silly boys who just enjoy each other's company so much and wanna spend all their time together. It's got this kind of a real time nostalgia element to it where I could see this show being somebody's reminiscence about a time in their life that they want to remember incredibly fondly. When they were young and they had this big group of friends and all they wanted to do is hang out with their friends and have a ton of fun.

I described it when I was writing about the show while it was airing as giving me Hospital Playlist vibes. Hospital Playlist is a Korean drama about this group of friends who are all doctors working at the same hospital, and it's just about their lives, and them bringing people in, and them falling in love with people. I'm not saying that this is at the Hospital Playlist level, but it gave me the same energy, and Hospital Playlist is one of my favourite dramas of all time. So I enjoyed that aspect of it.

The other aspect of it that I really enjoyed, this is part where I was talking about where they use the actors that you love to sort of pull you along until the story takes over from that. Tan and Fang, as Twig said, they get together during the show. And at first you don't understand why and how and what is even happening there. And then I think it's episode nine, so it’s just a little past the halfway mark of the show, that Tan tells his friends the story of him and Fang, how they met and how they got together. And it makes you understand everything that's gone before and everything that the show is trying to do in terms of how it's trying to organize itself.

I had so many thoughts about it, like, is there another way that they could have done this to front load this? Like I said, it's more than halfway through the show and you have to get there. And if you don't, if the show is not pulling you along to that point, then you're not gonna get there. But, it changed everything.

The show is fluffy, and it's sweet, and it's just very wholesome. And I really responded to it. Just talking about it now, I feel kind of a glow. I enjoyed it a whole lot.

I'll save some of the other stuff for when we're actually talking about New Siwaj and how New Siwaj constructs shows and why this show worked for me in some ways that some other New Siwaj shows haven’t.

Ben

I was gonna say, are we excusing a New Siwaj flashback to justify an Episode 5 reveal four episodes later all of a sudden? Please play the Double Savage recording, man in the booth.

NiNi

No, no, no, no, no, that's entirely different. [Ben laughs]

And that's what I'm talking about when I say that how they actually used the actors, and the casting, and the branded pairs in this was actually a really smart use if that is how New wanted to do it.

I appreciate New Siwaj as a creator. He pisses me off, but I appreciate him. One of the reasons that he pisses me off is that he has great narrative strengths in some ways. He also has a lot of respect for, like, the minutiae and the details of daily life and shenanigans between friends, which I appreciate, but I find interfere with his narratives when he's working on something that's narratively focused.

To me, what happened here is that this was not at all narratively focused. What he did here is the same thing that he always does. It's a big group of friends just hangin’ out with each other, the minutiae of their daily life. But it's not interfering with a narrative that I wanna get back to. And so I can just sit in the vibe of it. To me, if New wants to write a narrative show, I want it to be narrative. And now I've realized that if New wants to sit in a vibe, he actually knows how to do it.

Ben

Twig, you finished this show. Why?

Twig

I finished it for two reasons. One, I'm a completionist. And so I finished it for the reason why I watch a lot of shows that I don't like. Spoiler: I didn't like this. [laughs] And that was so that I can understand what it did to the end and fit it into my internal understanding of what's happening with the genre at any given time.

I summed up both reasons in one thing. I spent a lot of the time watching the show trying to figure out what it was trying to do, why it wasn't working for me, and thinking about how it fits in in the wider context of what's happening in Thai BL.

Ben

We heard NiNi's reasons for why she loved it so much. Please detail for us why you had such a difficult time with it.

Twig

NiNi alluded to it a little bit. This show is not narratively driven; there's no throughline, and that's the reason why I watch television, is for a story. The way that I watch shows is I'm paying attention to what characters are doing in the scene I'm watching, but I'm always thinking about how they connect to the scenes before, what that could mean for the future. And this show gave me nothing for my brain to grip onto. Scene to scene, things were happening that were fun to watch, but I couldn't enjoy them because I was thinking about how they didn't connect to the scenes before. And I was getting frustrated by that. And then I would get sort of bored because a scene in isolation isn't interesting to me. I ended up, like, spacing out a lot and then having to rewind, and then realizing after rewinding that nothing had actually happened, and I didn't have to rewind at all. [laughs] Didn't miss anything.

So it was a really frustrating watch for me just because of the way my brain works and processes shows. The show takes place in—it's not just a BL bubble—I almost call it like a plot bubble. Almost nothing bad happens. And any conflict that does arise is resolved within an episode. I understand why that would be comforting and relaxing to some people, but for me, I found it very anxiety-inducing, because I was constantly thinking about, why is nothing happening? What is going to come? And there was nothing to be worried about. I wouldn't say necessarily that my experience of the show is a reflection on the show, but it is about how and why I watch shows. This show was not for me.

I do want to challenge NiNi's comparison to Hospital Playlist, because I also have seen and loved Hospital Playlist, and the reason why I loved that show and couldn't get into this show was because Hospital Playlist has a very clear throughline. And that was the main thing that was missing for me in this. The part where it took nine episodes to get to the backstory, I found frustrating. And the part that bothered me most about that was that the reveals weren't rewarding you for having paid attention to anything that happened before. It didn't feel like they connected to things we'd seen but didn't yet understand. It didn't feel like the show was grounded in a story that it was laying groundwork for. It was just leading to particular scenes.

We were often told that this is why a character's reacting that way, but there was nothing previously that made me understand it or told me that it made sense. Like, we're told that Fang is a bad boyfriend because he isn't attentive or doesn't show affection for Tan, but I don't think we ever see that before they tell us that, other than in the episode where they tell us that that's a thing. We mostly see him just be really fond of Tan the whole time, so I was really confused by why suddenly he's apologizing for being a problem.

NiNi

That's definitely, like, not where I went with that.

Twig

And the Q and Toey conflict happens because Q is upset that Toey didn't tell him that he was his secret Post-It note buddy and his first love. We're told that Q was stressing over feeling conflicted about his feelings for the cafe Post-It Boy and Toey, and then it turns out they're the same person. But we didn't see any of that conflict in any of the episodes that came before. So his anger felt like it came out of nowhere. It was justified within the episode, but we hadn't laid any groundwork for it.

That was sort of my experience the whole time. It felt like I was watching 16 specials of a show that I didn't see. So, I've always felt like I was missing context for whatever was happening, even though I'd watched the whole show. It was an uncomfortable watching experience.

NiNi

Twig is actually correct about that thing. It's just, in terms of how we interpreted it, we interpreted it in two different directions. The show treats the audience like they're a member of the friend group and not an omniscient observer of any kind. As the characters learn things about each other and their backstories, that's the same time that the audience is learning it. So the show in that sense has, like, a little hint of immersion, doesn't give you hints before. If a character is gobsmacked, so are you. If a character is surprised by something happening, so are you. For me, that works, for Twig it doesn’t. And I completely understand.

The show is almost kind of like a Rorschach in that way. Like, it depends on what things about media you like, how you like to consume media, what are things that you enjoy that you don't enjoy in media. I like sitting in a vibe. The show is a vibe for me. Like I get to see people just kind of hang out and do their thing and be themselves.

I really responded to that. And so the lack of narrative drivers and groundwork laying and all those kinds of things that if it was a more narratively focused show that I would be looking for, once I started to feel the vibe that the show was going for, I was able to sit back and just soak in it and enjoy that part of it.

Twig is quite correctly identifying what the show is doing. It's just that worked for me and it didn't work for her.

Twig

Yeah, it just hit us both really differently. I think that's valid.

Ben

The show did nothing! And for that, I despise it. [Twig laughs]

Here's the thing. There is so much BL to watch. The idea that I'm gonna spend nine weeks to figure out what the deal is with these boys is just not gonna happen for me. There's too much to fuckin’ watch. And there was no driving angst or drama to any of this.

We mentioned Make It Right as the big pulp we love from New Siwaj. In that show, there is real drama with the boys’ relationships. Both of our major pairs of boys have very unfortunate first times that create a lot of confusion between them in their relationships that they have to work through while also dealing with the coming-of-age pains of being a teenage boy.

And there was really just no drama for me to hang on to this. The only real thread that the show had early on was like...Pond’s character punking Phuwin’s character about demanding indentured servitude for inflicting medical expenses on him for kicking him in the nuts or some shit. I just found that to be deeply repellent because I don't find slavery narratives cute? Like, you must work for me or whatever shit. No, I do not find that as a fun way to turn stuff into romance. And I got deeply put off in episode five with Aou's character confessing to Boom's character, and Boom's character cutting off the confession. Because it felt like every time the show was coming close to an important core emotional reveal about a character, it intentionally interrupted the moment to avoid any sort of specificity—and winking at the audience to be like, you know what this is.

That may be fun for some people, but I found it boring, because it means that there's nothing specific about these characters to hang on to. That was the point where I just couldn't deal with this anymore. They took all the B- and C-list BL boys at GMMTV and dumped them in a 16-week, basically, hangout project of IG reels to fulfill a financial obligation to iQIYI.

That's the thing I want to talk about here, too. This was not like a freemium product on YouTube. You had to pay money to watch this for like the first month and a half before they started rerunning it on YouTube. So people were paying premium dollars on iQIYI to watch, essentially, a show about just guys hanging out. I was bored by it because these guys weren't that interesting. The most interesting thing we had with any of the guys going on was Phuwin's character's angst about his art not measuring up to what he wanted it to be. That was about it.

It was frustrating for me seeing so many people raving about this because there was really just so much of nothing here. It felt like the ideal kind of pocket gay. New usually has interesting things to say about the queer experience in one way, shape, or form. Even in the shows we've talked about on here that we didn't like, like A Boss and a Babe, had some interesting ideas about queer reality that I just did not feel from this show in the first five weeks. I put over five hours into a show that had nothing to say. That's more than enough. That's longer than a J-BL.

It's fine as, like, background noise, I guess, but I need to care about something going on in the show if I'm gonna sit down and pay attention to it and invest my emotional energy into it. I can't marinate in a show like this. There's nothing to think about for me, and everything I did think about felt kind of insidious. Like, what's the point of these gays clumping in a world where there's no problems with being gay? The reason we clump is because we're ostracized, because we're the only people who will tolerate each other. Why does that occur in these situations where there is no reason for gay people to feel weird about being gay? That's one of the constant frustrations I've been having with these sort of bubble shows. I can't feel gay empathy and connection with these stories because some of the foundation is missing.

30:47 – We Are: Final Thoughts and Ratings

Ben

I'm just very frustrated about this experience and what it means going forward, because this was probably super cheap to film and they probably turned a tidy profit on this. So that means there will be a lot more of this. And it's called Perfect Ten Liners, there will be 30 episodes of this. I'm looking forward to your report on that one, NiNi.

NiNi

I think I'm only gonna watch one of those stories, actually. I see how there's a line from this to Perfect Ten Liners and it's also being done by New Siwaj. But for me, given GMMTV's now stated goal of, they're not tracking ratings, they're tracking socials, given what that means for how they're looking at some of their projects going forward, I don't think it's going to be everything that they do. But yes, they're gonna do more of these. And if they're gonna do more of these, I think as far as a template this is probably one of the better templates, ‘cause there are other ways that this could have gone. This one was balanced in a way that works. I don't think from what I've seen coming out of Perfect Ten Liners or so far it's going to be balanced in the same way.

GMMTV is experimenting with the art commerce thing, sort of more leaning towards the commerce because that's what GMMTV is. I can't call them a CBS because they don't have that kind of thing, but they're like the CW, let's say, of Thai youth media. This is what you get from CW sometimes. If I didn't see other things coming both inside and outside of GMMTV, I would probably be more concerned, but for me there's so much out there right now. There's a ton of variety lately, I don't watch nearly as much as you two, and that's maybe part of the rest of it as well. For me, somebody who watches maybe 15 to 20 shows a year, it's just part of the constellation and it doesn't feel like a canary in the coal mine kind of thing, but that's just me.

Ben

See, but the difficulty is we're seeing this in a lot of the shows, though. There's been this constant thing with not even just GMMTV, but they're sidestepping having to say things about gay shit in these shows. We talked about it in 23.5, we talked about it in Only Boo. The concern for me is, apparently, We Are the Series did really well. And GMMTV is brutal about what they're gonna fund. They're gonna fund the shit that's gonna make them money. If this sort of ungrounded fluff is what makes the money, that's what they're gonna make.

The problem for me with fluff is I need to feel like the characters suffered to earn it. And there's not a sense that the fluff here is earned. There is a notion that is kind of romantic that, yeah, gay guys could just be just guys bein’ dudes. But mmph, did this feel weirdly alien while I was watching it. And I was really repulsed by it. That sucks because I like everybody involved. I just could not enjoy this at all and was deeply frustrated by it the entire time.

Twig

To pick up something that you were saying, Ben, I think NiNi is right that the friendship as the core of the show is one of the better things about it, but one of the reasons why that wasn't enough for me is because I couldn't read this as found family because there was nothing for them to unite against? There was nothing for them to be there for each other about. There was no challenge to that friendship. They just ate a lot of barbecue and traveled a lot. I couldn't believe that they would last because they hadn't experienced anything to actually challenge that. You don't necessarily have to have it in the show. The show can be all fluffy, but if there's nothing even in the history to support that these guys have been through it together, then it's hard to know how they would respond to an actual problem.

NiNi

So all that said, do we actually rate this because it's very clear that there's a dichotomy, not just within the group here talking about it now, but generally about the show. I'm not sure if a rating is useful. What do you guys think?

Ben

In terms of where I always recommend from, I always rate on the, do I think people should watch this? Who do I think this show is for? I think I dropped this show at a 4 because I was really repulsed by it. I don't think that's fair reflective to the technical work that went into it, but for the type of reader that I think I'm trying to speak to, I can’t even recommend this show at all. I found the whole experience rather empty. I don't go to TV to fill the show with my own, I'm smarter than the people who wrote this stuff or I will fill in the gap stuff. I don't like doing that in gay shows, so. I can't recommend this show. Not to the viewer I think I'm speaking to.

NiNi

Twig, how about you?

Twig

I don't always rate everything, so I really struggle to rate this. I'd probably put it at like a 6? I don't wanna take away from the fact that there are people who don't watch shows like I do who found this very comforting. Like you were saying, it's about what you're looking for in shows and how you watch them.

But the part that's frustrating for me is that there was so much time we could have used to tell a story. [laughs] And so, I find it hard to forgive that. We don't actually get a lot of 16 episode hour-long shows, so it's hard for me to not begrudge the time.

NiNi

Obviously, I enjoyed this a lot more than you guys did, but I have two different ratings for it, actually. On terms of the enjoyability of it for me, it's hovering somewhere around like an 8.5, 9. But on the technical merits of the show, I would probably max it out at a 7.

Twig

If I was going by my enjoyment, it would be a 4. [laughs] It was honestly painful for me to watch this.

NiNi

That's valid, friend, that's valid. Two out of three means that it's not a recommend from The Conversation.

Ben

I don't think we need to give it a harsh number rating, but legit, what's the angst of this show? What's the story? What are the drama here? I don't know, if you don't feel like swiping IG, put this on instead.

38:21 – Knock Knock, Boys!

NiNi

Let's move on to the next pulp that we're going to discuss here. Knock Knock, Boys! by WeTV.

Ben, what's Knock Knock, Boys! about?

Ben

Knock Knock, Boys! is about four men who move into cheap housing because they're all running away from something in their lives. Together they form one of the more effective friend groups we've seen in a long time and pair off into two really satisfying relationships to follow for a solid eight episodes.

We get in this show a really good presentation of age gap friendships amongst queer people. I really liked that we got to see developing relationships between young people alongside developing relationships between working people. We also got in this show a really great examination about how you love someone out of the closet. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

I liked this show a lot, comparatively to the last one. This show also had a lot of our faves in it, and they showed up to work!

NiNi

New faves and some classic ones, one of the classic faves being Seng Wichai who is well-loved on this podcast. Okay.

Twig

Can we talk about Best? Because Best has been in the biz since 2017. He was in I Am Your King where he got to kiss Mark Siwat. I'm always so happy to see his face and I think this was by far his best role. It's really nice to see him in a role that can highlight his skills.

NiNi

We talked a little bit about the overarching theme of it, but let's get into the details. The show has got, like we said, these four guys, they split off into two couples. Almond and Latte, who are in university, and Peak and Thanwa, who are just entering the working world. The way that these two pairs embody the angst of those two stages of life is really interesting.

Ben

I think the difference between the last show and this show. During the last show we're mostly angsting about whether or not it's okay to like a show that's basically a glorified IG reel. This show has a plot and all of its characters have something going on with them. They have a clear want or desire.

We've got Latte who is an amorous pansexual man who's having a great time in college. Too great of a time, in fact. One of his professors says if your ass is late anymore for my fuckin’ classes, you will not graduate. So he has to move closer to school because he's taking too long to get out of bed from one of his conquests to make it to class on time. Almond is finally out from under the maybe-too-sheltering thumb of his mother. And he is lying about his lodgings because he wants to live amongst the poors [laughs] instead of the security guard, ultra safe system that his mom wants him to live in. Thanwa is leaving a not great relationship with another man, and Peak appears to be running from compulsory heteronormativity.

What's really interesting is when these guys are breaking the ice, they're telling each other truthful things, but they're also holding back in a way that felt really earnest. I find a lot of times in these shows, because they need to exposit things to the audience, these shows tend to have characters overshare with each other in a way that doesn't feel real. I thought this show did a great job of giving the audience the information we needed about why these guys were in the situation they were in, but giving the kind of polite answers that real people give each other about their situations.

They needed a way to get these guys to start working together. So they create this conceit in which Almond really wants to hook up with this boy named Jumper, played by Pak Varayu. I totally understand why. He promises a year's worth of rent to whoever helps him score with Jumper. Hijinks ensue as the other three boys start trying to befriend Jumper and create scenarios for Almond to spend time with him so that they can get together. In the process of befriending Jumper, who we realize has a boyfriend already, Latte develops feelings for Almond and Thanwa and Peak end up growing closer together as well.

We follow Latte’s complex journey he has with people misunderstanding who he is as a pansexual person. Almond being an enthusiastic virgin who's very amped to explore his body and what he finds pleasurable. Thanwa is struggling with the thing we all struggle with in our 20s: Do we wanna do the job that's the thing we dream about doing or do we take the safe option, and what does that say about the other aspects of his life? And then Peak is deeply closeted because he doesn't want to let down his father. These are all really interesting threads to follow, and the show doesn't ever really forget where the characters are and what their experiences reflect in the way they respond to scenarios that arise. We get this great evolution of relationships over time.

One of the things that I thought the show did really well—I kind of want Twig to talk about this part a little bit more—is we get Almond's initial crush on Jumper, and then the show breaks that crush by systematically making Almond recognize that maybe Jumper is not who he wants to be with.

Twig

I loved that sequence so much. Almond has a crush on Jumper and his new roommates are creating circumstances to bring them closer together in order to win rent for a year. That culminates in more and more situations where Almond and Jumper are in the room together and it's awkward. [laughs] Almond doesn't really know what to say, or Latte's with him and Latte and Jumper have more in common than Almond and Jumper do. It was very subtle moments, Almond's crush being whittled away at.

And the party which they have at their house results in everybody getting really drunk, Jumper gets really drunk because the roommates are helping to make him drunk so that he'll be more receptive to Almond, and Almond is also being made drunk so that he'll be a little bit more relaxed. Jumper ends up getting so drunk that he gets really sick. We see this in so many shows where someone will get really drunk and then have a moment where they break and make out or have sex or confess or whatever, and what I love about the way they do that in Knock, Knock Boys! is that being really drunk is not sexy. It is not romantic. It is gross and it is unpleasant. And Almond dealing with disgruntled, loud, annoying, unwieldy Jumper and then a really gross Jumper when he vomits all over everywhere. And then he shits himself! Oh, it was so good.

You could see the moment on Almond's face where the pedestal that Jumper had been on in his mind just collapsed and he realized, oh, this is a human being that I've been into and he's a gross human being, who vomits and shits and smells really bad right now and is actually [laughs] the opposite of attractive. So they help Jumper clean up and then Almond has to sit with his new realization and process his emotions.

Ben

NiNi, you're a big fan of Seng Wichai. I would like for you to unpack his character, Thanwa, and the work he did in this show.

NiNi

Seng plays Thanwa and Thanwa is the mom friend. Thanwa is the one who takes care of everybody. He feeds the group, he guides them a little bit. And when he meets up with Peak, Peak basically is zoned out and also eats like an animal. Thanwa is a foodie, food lover, really into food and cooking and so he decides he's gonna teach Peak how to really enjoy and savour food. And that's how they bond.

Thanwa himself is a complicated character. He's got this sadness to him, and Seng Wichai always plays these weird, cringey characters with an undercurrent of sadness to them very well. Thanwa is probably the least weird, cringey character he's ever played, but it's still got that undercurrent of sadness and melancholy. It makes you wonder, oh, what has this character been through? Why is this the way that he is? And over the course of the show, you get to see some of what he's running from, what is making him sad, and Seng plays every beat to me perfectly.

When things start to change with Peak, you see the sadness because Peak can't, in his mind, get all the way there in terms of how he feels about Thanwa. You can see that makes Thanwa really, really sad as much as he likes Peak and he enjoys his company and he is falling for Peak. It's a great little dynamic and Seng plays every nuance of this character so well. He understands Peak and what Peak can and can't give him. And when he decides that he's going to give Peak grace and support for whatever it is that he wants to do, because at this point it's not just about their relationship, it's about Peak's life, there's joy in there, but there's also sorrow.

It's a great character for Seng and I am very glad to see him in this. Every character I've seen Seng play at this point has been great. The boy can pick ‘em. I will say that much.

Ben

I think it's really notable that in the genre that's always using food as love, the not-so-subtle thing is Thanwa is literally teaching Peak how to experience pleasure, because it's clear that the boy does not when they first meet him.

48:39 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Sex Positivity

Ben

This was probably the most sex positive show we've watched this entire year. This show, through almost every single beat that it wanted to follow, had positive things to say about people's sexual relationships with each other, no matter how messy they got.

Early on, we get this instance where Peak is fairly certain that he made out with one of the roommates the very first night he stumbled into the house. And at first he's not sure if it's Latte or Thanwa, because Latte's kind of a flirt. We get this eventual resolution where he realized it was Thanwa and apologizes for kissing Thanwa like that, and then asks if he can kiss him again properly. This is probably the point where I sat up and was like, hold on, this show might be actually serious about some of its ideas. Because that sequence when they were in the closet during the party was so pointed—particularly when Jane shows up the next morning and opens the door on them and they fall out.

Twig

Yes!

Ben

Really excellent stuff.

There's another great bit that comes up. So, they have this friend, Lukpeach, who's a great character. I really love the new class of girl friend in BL who's doing supportive in a really fun way. It's the next evolution of the fag hag that we've gotten that I'm kind of into. I really like the way Lukpeach was constantly about supporting all of the gays around her so that she could write her stories about them.

They have this sex ed club where they're talking about gender and sexual identity, safe sex practices, respecting people's privacy. So we get this whole bit where they're having a conversation about “don't record people without their consent, and especially don't create revenge porn about people by posting them without their consent.” And it feels like Almond's not really paying attention during that moment. And he has this moment where he realizes who Jumper actually wants to be with, that he's not actually available, and Almond's disappointed about this. This is right around the same time that someone records Jumper with Sean and then posts it. And there's this brief moment where the show leads the audience to suspect that Almond may have recorded Jumper and Sean in the shower and posted it online. They reflect this by having Latte turn on Almond and briefly think that Almond could have done that.

This becomes a fault line between Almond and Latte, and then a huge line between Jumper and Almond, because this show plays the consequences of outing very seriously. Because of the video posted about Jumper, he is kicked off of the school's football team. He gets outed to his family and he was not trying to come out to them at all because he did not know how they were gonna react to that. Jumper confronts Almond about this, because he had ample reason to believe that Almond was there, and he's pissed at him. He's like, “I thought you were my friend. How could you do this to me?”

It takes the Scooby Gang a really long time to suss out who was the actual culprit behind this. And there are social consequences for Almond for a while over this, where a significant portion of the student body is one, being super nasty to Jumper, but also simultaneously shaming Almond for doing that to his friend—or so they think. They end up revealing that it was Thanwa's ex who's been the one walking around recording people, and then they send his ass to jail.

This was a really excellently handled plot. I like that the way the consequences played out across all of this happened in a believable way and was taken super seriously.

NiNi

Because the plot line reverberates out, there are repercussions for Almond and Latte and there are repercussions for Peak and Thanwa. Almond at this point is kind of depressed, he's sad, so Latte tries to take him on a trip that leads to some new wrinkles and complications in their relationship.

There was stuff going on with Peak and Thanwa, that when it became known to them that Thanwa's ex, who he had briefly moved back in with because of everything that was going on with Peak, that he had done it, something that happened in that moment of discovering that. This led to reverberations in Peak and his relationship.

How the events reverberate and impact the group as a whole and then the individuals and the couples within it, I think it's actually constructed quite well for a show that clearly didn't have a lot of budget, didn't have a high production value or anything like that. They used their narrative time and they used their budget well, they built a story that worked for the time that they had, for the talent that they had, for the everything that they had.

Twig

One of the things that I think might pass an international audience by, but really struck me as super important was the depiction of sex toys. Sex toys are illegal in Thailand, they're punishable by, I think it's, like, two years in prison if you're caught selling them, and owning them is also not legal. And so depicting sex toys on screen, it's actually quite a radical act for Thai television. To encourage the use of sex toys is also a pretty politically strong statement for Thai TV, so I just wanted to call that out as a really impactful thing that the show did, and I think did really well. It did a really great job of showing someone in Almond who had never seen a sex toy and was immediately fascinated and distracted. [laughs]

NiNi

The way he stared at it. He could not believe this thing. He was just kind of mouth open looking at it like he couldn't even focus.

Twig

Boy was thirsty.

Ben

That boy skipped home. He's like, I got my first dildo and I can't wait to use it! [Ben and Twig laugh]

Twig

And we got to see him experiment with his sexuality that way and to play with the sex toy a little bit and I thought that was an amazing thing to include in a show in any context, but particularly in a Thai television context.

One of the things that was a fun thing in any show but was a particularly political move in this show was Latte taking Lukpeach to the sex toy shop because they could have been arrested if they had been caught together going there. In context of where I am in Canada that wouldn't have really struck me as anything other than kind of a fun cute thing to do with a friend, and it speaks to a certain level of comfort and sex positivity but, it’s politically charged in a way in Thailand that you might not necessarily be aware of.

Ben

I think it's important to point that out, because this show had an 18-plus rating and it's because they talked about sex the way they did. They actually didn't depict that much sexual content on screen.

55:51 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Our Fab Four (and Jane)

Ben

Speaking of, like, depicting the complex situations around sex, you mentioned the beach trip they go on. One of the better beach episodes we've had from the genre in a long time, because there's a lot of needing to unpack from some difficult things and big reveals about the characters that come out of that one. That's the first real moment where Latte and Almond physically acknowledge the attraction that's been building between them for multiple episodes at that point.

They end up in a complex makeout that could have turned into sex, that then stops, that I think really sets the stage for the rest of what develops and makes Latte one of my favorite characters we've gotten this year. He was so patient with Almond and was always capable of meeting Almond emotionally where he was. Almond took a while to get comfortable with actually doing sexual stuff. And even though Latte made it clear he was ready and down and wanting, he was able to communicate that in a way that didn't feel like he was pushing Almond beyond his comfort zone. Which lets us later get these great I wanna have my first time conversations with both Peak and Thanwa where we get to let them give him useful advice.

I really love the way these boys consistently rallied for each other when some shit was goin’ down. When one of them was having problems, they were really concerned about them and wanted to find a way to help them out. That was just really lovely. We know these boys have each other's backs, ‘cause they went through some real shit together.

Twig

Latte was on it, being able lie to Almond's mother immediately.

NiNi

It wasn't even a question. He's like, “Okay, we lyin’ to mom? I'll help.” Right up until they got caught. And then he was just like, well, you're gonna have to tell her what's going on.

I wanna talk about the Peak arc coming towards the end and Peak and Jane and how all of that played out.

Ben

Jane was a great character. We learned that the reason why Peak is so stressed all the time is his mom died and this sort of brings an end to this really loving, idyllic family that he had. His dad becomes cold in his grief and is constantly kind of hovering. Peak is struggling himself, he can't perform the way he used to about school and work and all of these things. He basically sort of closes himself off trying to be this ideal son for his dad. And so when his dad eventually tries to arrange a marriage for him with a family friend that's maybe financially beholden to them, he doesn't really say no to this because he doesn't wanna let his dad down. But he also can't hide from who he is, and so he just runs.

Jane eventually finds him, and she tries to be patient with him. Like, she clearly knows his deal, tries to help him with Thanwa, but she won't say for him what he needs to say for himself, which I thought was really fascinating. Once he gets caught by his dad, he goes back with his dad and finally, after so many times that he should have said the damn thing, finally says to his dad what he needs to say about who he is. And we get this really great apology from his dad.

What's so fascinating about Best’s performance in this is I think a lot of people conflated Best playing Peak as kind of spacey with his Love By Chance guest role. And I think that was maybe a little unfair because he was just doing a bit for that character as a very, very, very tiny role. But here, Peak spacing out is basically pain management. He can't stay present in the moment because he's suffering so much, which is, I think, one of the parts of the show that is understated, but in a way that I think is really good.

When I talk about being able to connect to the queer angst of a character, I can see how much Peak is suffering the whole time. That is most evidenced by the way he transforms as soon as everything is out in the open. The last episode and a half of Peak is like watching a completely different character because he's not burdened by the expectation anymore. You can see how quickly he becomes the boyfriend he's been wanting to be this whole time.

And truly, Thanwa won because man, he put in real patience and effort with that man and he got what he wanted. Good for him!

Twig

That whole arc is one of my favorite things in this show and I think the thing that is gonna linger with me most. One of the things that I really love about it is how carefully written it is. When Peak is earlier in the show being so frustrating—I mean the audience is frustrated, his housemates are frustrated, Thanwa is frustrated, Jane is so frustrated. The way that people relate to or respond to him differs depending on whether or not they know what's going on. And as soon as what's going on with him is revealed, that frustration shifts. Thanwa is still frustrated but so much more willing to give him space and time to figure himself out once he knows what he's figuring out, that it's not just about Peak holding back, it’s about his relationship with his father, he was so much more willing and able to wait.

Almond and Latte similarly feel like they're sidestepping around Peak when they don't really understand what's going on with him, and then as soon as they do, they're ready to show up for him. They arrange to drive Thanwa to Peak at his dad's house so that they can be there to support him when he's ready to come out just to be there in case he needs them. I thought that was so beautiful. And then when Peak again does come out and shifts, the way that all of the characters respond to his changes. It’s also very organic and fluid and feels very natural. It was just so well done and felt really well thought out.

Ben

When we say the show is really sex positive, part of sex positivity is understanding that boundaries aren't bad. They're about establishing communication and understanding how your behaviors impact each other.

Almond is running away from his mom kind of sheltering him too much. And when he finally expresses this to her clearly, she takes that in and apologizes for overstepping and maybe smothering him too much. So when they're like, “All right, now that we've gotten that resolved, we need to go save Peak.” And mom's like, “Can I come?” “No, mom, you can't come.” She goes, “Oh, okay.” And she doesn't push back. She's like, “Okay, well, I understand. I'll pay for your lodgings and your transportation." They play this for mild comedy, but this is actually really good. Mom does have a tendency to get over-involved, and they don't want her jumping into their guy problems here, but they don't want her to not be involved per se. They give her a way to feel like she's helping because she's got all this money.

It's the same thing with Peak when he finally comes out properly to his father. His father apologizes for the conditions he created for Peak and tries to take steps to rectify that. That's actually a really special thing. Everyone loved Peak enough to wait for him to make the choice himself. We have so many stories about gay people being outed against their will and having to suffer the consequences of that. That happens in this show, too! I really love this show giving us the other end of that, where nobody outed Peak, even though we were all running to shake that man, they let him do it on his terms. And he had a good experience with it when he finally did it. And he says it's the fact that everybody loved him so much that he felt like it was wrong to keep running at that point. That's finally what made him come out on his own terms. That's the big point. You have to come out for yourself, for it to be meaningful and for you to have the courage and fortitude to be out and live out.

This show was excellent and I loved all of these boys and their friends and especially Jane. My God, I love Jane. And she was gay! Good for us.

NiNi

That actually annoyed me a little as why the show didn't get a 10 for me, because I thought they were entirely too cute about withholding the lavender part of that lavender marriage.

Ben

Oh, I sensed it the whole time. I was just waiting for them to confirm it.

NiNi

It would be the one thing if they withheld it but they misdirected on it, and this was in the translations and the subtitles which is why it annoyed me. I know that the word that they're using in Thai is a gender neutral word but in terms of the subtitles, they are not using a gender neutral word. It felt like an unnecessary misdirect for me. That's probably, like, my only little quibble about it. And it's really a translation thing and not anything to do with the show as presented. So, eh, I'm fine. I just had to get it out.

We talked about Seng and Best and I want to give some love to Nokia and Jaonine because I don't think anybody could have done Almond and Latte as good as Nokia and Jaonine. I have some real appreciation for these two boys' talents.

Ben

I wanna go to Twig because this is not our first time with Nokia. I did not watch all of Thank God It's Friday. Was Nokia this good at physical comedy in 2017 or ‘19?

Twig

The short answer is no, he was not. I remember him in that show as standing out as one of the ones who can act. Thank God it's Friday, for context, was a show full of a lot of boys who had never acted in anything before and they weren't given a lot to do and it was a little bit rough to watch. [laughs] I remember him being one of the few who looked like he might have somewhere to go from there. So I was really glad to see him again, but he's definitely improved.

Ben

I thought Nokia was so good at the physical comedy of playing Almond. Like, I really just loved watching that boy move around and react to literally everything that was happening. He felt so present in every scene he was in. Best and Seng are really good at that too. And it was nice to see a newer performer, for us at least, be able to match that energy.

Jaonine was really charming as Latte. It was really fun to watch an actor play a guy who looked so comfortable in his own skin. All these guys are super tense about something going on. Peak’s fighting the closet he's in. Thanwa is struggling against normie expectations the whole time, and Almond just wants to get fucked so bad. It was so refreshing to see a character in Latte played by Jaonine that was very much not as stressed out as the rest of them.

Twig

And he owned his sexuality in a way that was really refreshing, too. I love his refrain of, “I'm bisexual, but I'm still choosy. I don't do sleep with anyone, excuse you.” [laughs] And I think this is something that you actually have mentioned, Ben, in your thoughts on the show. I just love how he leaves all of his past relationships or interactions positively it seems like. So he keeps running into people who he's had sex with in the past and everyone's just happy to see him.[laughs] It was really refreshing to see people who have a very active sex life and have that be a positive thing in their life rather than a negative thing.

NiNi

I just wanted to pick up on something that you said earlier about the fact that Latte is probably the only character who's not stressed and you enjoy watching that relaxation that Jaonine plays through the character. But when Latte does get stressed, I think Jaonine is also very good at making that feel uncomfortable. Like, Latte is not comfortable with the idea of being stressed out by things, that's not the life that he wants to live. And you can see the tension in his body and how it feels unnatural. I thought he was actually really really good at that aspect of this character.

Ben

We got so lucky that we got such a talented cast here. Even in, like, the first episode or so, there was this weird flirty energy between Thanwa and Latte, and Twig and I were like, [laughs] are they gonna do it? Please let them fuck, we need to let this happen.

Twig

I'm still a little sad they didn't.

Ben

Sincerely, the point at which I realized this show was gonna be something else was, Latte was living in the house alone first, and was throwing parties and shit and leaving a mess. He's not thinking about the fact that he has a new roommate that moved in and they left a fucking mess. And he felt bad about that, helped clean up a little bit and assured Thanwa that that would not happen anymore. And it doesn't! In so many other stories, his inability to stop partying would be a big part of his character. And it just isn't here. He is constantly capable of respecting other people's space and boundaries. He recognized that he had maybe overstepped with Thanwa, rectified that, and then corrected the behavior. It's a small thing really early in the show. But that was when I was like, this show might actually be on to something. There's a lot of people I like here and they seem to know what they're saying.

01:09:58 – Knock Knock, Boys!: Final Thoughts and Ratings

Ben

I was really relieved to genuinely enjoy the whole ride of this show. It was so refreshing to have a show that was solid, for the most part, the whole way through where we could follow where the show wanted us to go. There were some missteps where I think some batons didn't pass as smoothly as they needed to, but I had such a great time following this. This was a really robust experience with really memorable characters and performances.

Twig

At a time when shows so often write boundary violations as romantic, it's just so refreshing to have a show depict boundaries as healthy and respected and positive things.

Ben

Before we go, we have to talk about Almond and Latte having the perfect first time.

Twig

Yes!

NiNi

It was so good. [all laugh]

Twig

Best sex scene of the year.

Ben

I have spoken at least once or twice on this show about a Mexican film called Quatro Lunas—you've probably seen it, Twig—that has a first time sex scene between two teenagers that is just as awkward as this one. [Twig laughs] And this sits up there.

I really liked how real that felt. It's Almond's first time. The boy’s clearly thought way too much about sex. He cannot relax. They can't really get into anything. It doesn't matter how experienced or good at sex Latte might be, until Almond relaxes they're not gonna be able to do anything. And I like that it's after they give up on trying to make it happen that that's when things click. Whatever happens after we fade away from them, Latte clearly had a good enough time that he was like, “Let's try that again” the next day, which is also capped off by Thanwa and Peak clearly post-coitus coming down to check on them and asking plainly, “Did you have a good time? Give us the review of Captain Dick here.” [laughs] And he says, “We had a really good time.”

I really liked that even as part of the expansion of healthy sexual boundaries, they're still giving Almond the space to talk about these sort of things in a way that's comfortable for him. Like, you can tell your friends that you had a really positive intimate experience with someone really important to you. And it gives you the space to be able to tell them maybe if you didn't. I feel so secure about how those boys are gonna be because they're not gonna be isolated and alone whenever they run into any sort of difficulties. They have people who they can talk to about real shit.

I love this show so much. Oh my God.

NiNi

Well, that said, let's rate it. Twig, what’s your rating for Knock, Knock Boys?

Twig

I gave it a solid 9. I think it had something very clear to say and it said it really, really well. It wasn't a perfect execution, but it was really fun and it overall was a solid effort and I'm definitely gonna return to it. I loved it.

NiNi

Ben, how about you?

Ben

It's also a 9. There are a couple of emotional beats that I don't think land correctly or at the very least did not translate well for me. And I think certain plot lines got closed off in a way that was a little too pat. But I respect what the show is going for with those moments. This show is really excellent and you really should watch it, but it is not, like, a greatest of all time show.

NiNi

I also give this show a 9. I enjoyed a lot about it and my quibbles are minor. And I really loved all the performances. Great job, team!

Ben

This is like a 9+ from The Conversation. Sincerely, do yourself a favor and watch this one. We've complained a lot about Thai BL just really not putting together a complete show. We've got one here and you deserve to watch this.

In fact, I think one of the big things about the show is that in the first episode we commented this felt more like a romcom and not a BL. And the show said that in the mouth of one of the characters writing about the world, that they wanted it to be more rom-com than the baseline expectations of BL. I really hope this is a sign for the future of what we are capable of making out of this genre, because this was so enjoyable. I was about to give up on watching Thai shows before I started watching this one. I've been strugglin’ out here. It's been hard in these streets.

01:14:54 – Importance of Pulps as Labs

NiNi

Okay, so all that said, what do we think that these two shows leave us thinking about pulps and the role of pulps in sort of the BL ecosystem?

Ben

Man, it's just so much easier to talk about a pulp when it has something to say that's interesting. And you can talk about how what the characters do and say reflects the themes that the show cares about. Like, we're talking about whether or not empty fluff is fine in We Are, but we're talking about the actual themes and characters and choices that were made in Knock, Knock Boys! That's such a huge difference, and this is what we mean when we say like there's this huge range in pulps. You don't have to only like the show one way for you to get a lot from it.

And that's what I like to see out of these sort of scrappier productions. You really wanna see people with a good story to tell that has a strong thematic core and is able to express that through all of the viewpoints that it has in its story. Like the villain of Knock, Knock Boys! is well calibrated for the themes of Knock, Knock Boys! That's actually really good writing.

NiNi

Twig, what about you, any thoughts?

Twig

I think at the end of the day, whether something is a pulp or not is not a good indication of whether it has something interesting to say, whether it's a fun watch, whether it holds together, whether there's a good story. So take the word pulp for what it means and not for what it doesn't. It doesn't actually tell you anything about whether or not you like the show, I think, unless you have very specific taste. [laughs]

NiNi

I don't watch a lot of the pulps, like a lot of the classic Thai BL pulps are shows that I've never seen. One of the things that I enjoy about these two shows is that they give me some experimentation in two different directions. They are the producers trying something out, pulps are like a lab in that way. The pulp format allows creators to experiment with ideas. Some work, some don't. It allows them to experiment with actors in some cases, and that can be good and that can be not so good, it allows them to just sort of see what's going to work without spending a ton of money. And for that, I can't ever truly knock them. There are not a lot of them that I enjoy personally, but I think that they have an important role to play in the ecosystem of the genre.

Twig

That's one of the reasons why I always try and watch them all, or at least as many of them as I can. I am always really interested in what people can only say in a pulp that they couldn't say in a show that's made by a major production company.

I've had some good conversations lately with Shan about City of Stars, a pulp that had some really interesting things to say about being famous and being gay and being in a ship and how those things can and can't exist at the same time in Thai popular culture. Just comparing that to how the same themes are handled in shows by major production companies, you guys talked about it in the Only Boo episode, about how there's only so much that a company that makes money off of selling ships can say about ship culture, whereas a smaller production company is more free to criticize fans. That's the kind of thing that I'm listening for when I watch pulps, is like, what are the things that they could say and do that they can only do because they're under less of a microscope?

NiNi

The scrappy upstarts that could. So, that is going to wrap us up on “Guys Being Dudes,” which is what I'm gonna call this episode.

Ben

Absolutely the fuck not! [Ben and NiNi laugh]

NiNi

It's gonna be called Pulpmania. So that's gonna wrap us up on our Pulpmania episode and with that, we out.

Say bye to the people, Twig.

Twig

Bye! Thanks for having me again.

NiNi

Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

#ben and nini's conversations #podcast #the conversation #on art #lgbtq #bl series #thai bl #winter series #winter 2024 #we are the series #knock knock boys #Spotify

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cilil · 5 months ago

Text

Gentle June

AN: I'm almost done with June, @tolkienpinupcalendar x) this one's a little gift for @sauron-kraut. Enjoy!🖤

❀ Prompt: Lingerie & body worship | Mairon x Khamûl ❀ Synopsis: Khamûl loves serving his Maiarin master. ❀ Warnings: Sensual, smutty, master/pet, pet play ❀ Short oneshot (~600 words)

"Have you made yourself pretty for me, my pet?"

A long-fingered hand idly reaches out, golden rings gleaming in the evening sun.

Khamûl nods, a little too fast, a little too eager. He's already slipping out of his silken robe to show the Maia just how pretty he can be, how he wants to be pretty for him.

Mairon's cat-like eyes follow his every move, curious, appreciative, greedy. The perfect porcelain his face appears to be made of shifts; the hunger is visible by the time silk drops to the floor and reveals soft skin and living flesh underneath. His smile reveals fang-like canines. Khamûl isn't sure if he's seen them before.

Nevertheless, he shows himself, happily puts himself on display. Perhaps it's hubris to think he could be appealing to a Maia. Perhaps it's hubris to think he could survive it for long if he did in fact succeed. But he has Mairon's attention and flaunts his body.

Only lace adorns him now: A frilly strip of fabric around his waist — reminiscent of a tiny skirt, yet so short that it barely conceals anything — and another small piece covering his private parts, held in place by twin strings that wrap around his thighs and backside. Khamûl has forgone even his jewellery, believing it to be an affront to his lord's masterful craftsmanship.

Mairon lifts his hand and motions for him to join him on the bed.

Without hesitation, Khamûl follows. He climbs onto it and then crawls, as is befitting for his role as a divine being's mortal pet. Enraptured, he watches those long, deadly fingers reach out and grasp his chin.

"Undress me, then serve me."

"Yes, master."

Mairon lets go and Khamûl demurely lowers his head. It's an honour to be allowed to serve him. He shan't disappoint.

Hands trembling with the sheer joy of his task, he loosens the sash around the Maia's waist, parts heavy robes, uncovers gleaming, gold-tinted skin, fair and ethereal like his divine kin, beautiful and terrible like the scorching sun. He bows his head to kiss his master, worshipping every inch of skin he can reach. Khamûl feels Mairon's fingers snaking through his locks, sharp nails scraping against his scalp, and moans in delight.

The surge of pride that overcomes him when he's met with an already hardening cock is dizzying, but he allows himself no time to dawdle. Eager and obedient, Khamûl takes it into his mouth, requiring no guidance from the hand still resting on his head, and begins sucking the Maia off.

Mairon lets him enjoy himself for a while, then asks, "I trust you prepared yourself in advance?"

Khamûl nods vigorously, his head bobbing up and down in the process. He's become increasingly good at this, but now a different service will be required of him.

With the ease of picking up a doll, Mairon pulls him upward by his neck, smiles and lazily pats his thigh. "Sit."

The command is clear, and Khamûl doesn't hesitate. He moves to straddle the Maia's hips, pulls the strings between his legs aside and guides his hot, hard length inside him, slowly sitting down; he has been generous with his preparation, stretching and oiling himself diligently, and yet the process is never quite painless.

Khamûl wouldn't have it any other way, though. Glory comes at a price, as Mairon has always told him.

His back arches when he finally takes his master all the way, his breath quickens, his nails dig into impervious immortal skin.

"Very good, pet," Mairon coos and caresses his thighs. "Now move."

And this, too, Khamûl does. He trembles and gasps and moans, yet swears to himself that he won't stop until he either has served the Maia to completion or until his mortal body gives out.

Thanks for reading! ♡

taglist: @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @blauerregen @bluezenzennie @destinyeternity1 @edensrose

@elanna-elrondiel @i-did-not-mean-to @just-little-human @urwendii

#tpcgentlejune #mairon #sauron #khamul #nazgul #mairon x khamul #sauron x khamul #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr fanfic #lotr smut #silm smut #silm fanfic #silmarillion fanfiction #silmarillion #cílil writes #my writing #minors dni

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chickenmetenders · 2 months ago

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Recently, I watched my friend play ZENO for the first time and... I forgot how much of a lasting impression this game had on my brain the first time I played it lol. Truly one of the games of all time. Anyway it made me write a fic!

➡️ Link!! ⬅️

Rambling about ZENO for like 600 words under the cut. Also some recommendations for other media like ZENO!

I first found this game in 2021 through a SK8 the Infinity artist (of all places) who used to be REALLY into the original 2015 game and had RTed the promo tweet for the remake. I was like, "Huh, what's this cool-looking RPG Maker game?" and when I saw the words "bromance" and "cannibalism" in the description, I just HAD to play it.

But this was like, March 2021, and I think the english version only came out around October...? And my Japanese is 下手くそ, so I had to Textractor my way through the entire thing lol. But I was determined!! ... Although I'm pretty sure I gave up because there was a bug with the music in English locales (incredibly, it showed up in early versions of the English version too lololol) and I ended up just watching a Japanese vtuber play through the rest of the game. S/o to Akira Sagara for getting me through these trying times.

Anyway, after that, I forgot about ZENO for a couple of months, because SK8 the Infinity was airing and was good and amazing and tadaai were secret forbidden Victorian gay childhood friends and I got sucked into that for a while. Oh, and I also got sucked into MAMIYA, the other cannibalism bromance game I played in 2021.

But then I discovered in October 2021 that........ when I hadn't been looking.............. ZENO got an English version!! .... approximately. It, uh, wasn't good.

Take a shot every time Maeno starts speaking in single letters.

But whatever at least they translated all those pages, which Textractor could not, so I could finally understand a very important part of the game that was hitherto inscrutable to me. yayyyy. The music bug was still there until like December so I did just end up fixing it myself LMAO.

But with the english translation(lol) available, I finally played through the entire game!!! yayy!! And despite the numerous insane puzzles marutoku made me play through, I really liked the game!!!

It's kind of funny. I'd say this is one of my favorite games because I like the characters & story THAT MUCH. I really like cannibalism & I really like this level of pseudo-BL(? bromance, ig), so this hit the nail on the head for me.

That said, unlike with MAMIYA, I could never really recommend ZENO to anyone! The puzzles are absolute cocobonkers and the English translation is baaaaad, and the game is just incredibly edgy, often times in a way that's kinda silly. But the story really speaks to me and I adore the characters so much... My friend calls this kind of thing a "guilty pleasure", but since I don't really feel guilty about it, I think I'd just call it "something that panders to my specific fetish*".

* ('fetish' as in fixation, not necessarily sexual in nature. idk, what do you call a trope you really like other than "a trope i really like"? in my mind I just call them fetishes (e.g. "this game won't appeal to anyone who doesn't have a cannibalism fetish"), but maybe that's not the right word to use.)

That said, 2021 was the year of my SK8/MAMIYA obsessions, and then Slow Damage finally came out... so that's where my stint with ZENO ended! I did write a fic for it in 2023 for a gift exchange (BECAUSE I DIDN'T EXPECT ANYONE TO ASK FOR ZENO AND I WANTED TO DELIVER LOL), but I didn't really do much else until Blake played ZENO in September of this year.

I always feel kind of nervous showing ZENO to other people because like I said, I can't really recommend this game and I feel like I gotta temper their expectations of how good it is, but Blake ended up liking it!! Enough to beta my fic!! So maybe it does pay off to show your friends your most beloved cannibalism bromance games.

But I still don't recommend this game to anyone lmao

I do have recommendations if you liked ZENO and want similar things, though:

MAMIYA: Cannibalism ✔️, homoerotic tension ✔️. Trying to describe MAMIYA is hard, but basically, it's a visual novel about dudes being depressed in Tokyo and sometimes the depression leads to... things (see above). It's not BL, but in the same way that ZENO isn't BL. The homoerotic tension MELTED MY BRAIN and if you like small, friendly fandoms, this is definitely a good game to get into.

Saihate Station: A self-described "LOVE/HATE bromance exploration horror ADV.that depicts the codependency and perverted love between two men." Heavy on homoerotic yandere-ism, though unfortunately there's no cannibalism, and it's even less horror than ZENO. ... I wanted to like this game, but the characters are kinda... Really, this just reaffirmed my belief that Maeno x Tsugino is unlike anything else out there. Still, it's really obviously inspired by ZENO, so maybe you'll like it.

The Monster of Eldenhaven: Not a game, but a novella. Dark Victorian-ish fantasy about a mad scientist--I mean a mad sorcerer on a revenge quest and the killer obsessed with him. Like ZENO. I read this a long time ago so I don't remember the details very well, but if you want something gorey and gay in a toxic obsessive way, this is a good one. I don't think it's got cannibalism, though.

Beastars and Beast Complex: YOU THINK I'M JOKING BUT I'M NOT. If you like vore or predator/prey stuff then you should absolutely read/watch Beastars, the "vore as a metaphor for love/trust" that happens in s2 especially is just INCREDIBLE. Or at least read Beast Complex, the one-shot compilation that takes place in the same universe. Here, I'll tell you which chapters of Beast Complex have homoerotic tension: 1, 2, 7!!, 13, 14's straight but it's got vore!, 16!!!!, 19 🧍‍♀️, 20, 22 I guess, 23 is straight but it too has vore!!

Room No. 9: Okay I'm kinda stretching the definition of "similar", but if I could trap Tsugino and Maeno in any BL game, it would be this one. The premise of this visual novel is "two besties are kidnapped to a science facility and forced to either maim each other or have sex before they can escape" (It's R-18, obviously). It's about two dudes suffering and all the ways in which their terrible time in the science facility can change their relationship forever, even after escape... so it's just like ZENO! no cannibalism though.

Dead Plates: This is an anti recommendation. People claim this game is gay but it's really NOT!!! Don't listen to them. It's on this list so I can warn you not to waste your time looking for ZENO here. Stop saying this game is gay!!!! He's straight!!!!!!

Hope this helps! Let me know if you've tried any of these things and how ZENO-ish you think they are, or if you have your own recommendations for obscure/underappreciated ZENO-ish media.

#zeno remake #mine #fic #bloggy

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akku-plus · 2 years ago

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latvianheartsanime · 2 years ago

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New weeb here!

I don't know if I wrote any introduction, but... oh well... here it is.

I'm Alice from Latvia. Started to watch anime last year, if I remember correctly. Can't remember if I watched Demon Slayer on Netflix back in 2022 or end of 2021.

Knew about Demon Slayer earlier but wasn't able to see it on Crunchyroll back then (even with Premium) and it took some time when I was able to see it on Netflix (it was some time after the news they added the show). Weird thing on Netflix it's just 1st season and last year I was finally see it on Crunchyroll as well aaaand aaaall the seasons and that's when I started to watch other shows too.

Sad that I cannot see Attack on Titan 1st season and 1st part of 2nd season. :( I guess because regional stuff. It sucks, because I bet because of it I wasn't able to see Demon Slayer back then as well. There's some other anime I cannot watch on Crunchyroll, but heard good things about, but have no idea is it because of regional restrictions or they're just not available on the site.

Other things about me...

I have 2 cats (again). Soon it's gonna be 1st death anniversary of my beloved Macho, he was white Cornish Rex, he passed last year few days before my birthday, he was 13 years old. Loved that cat, although big trouble maker and meanie pants sometimes, but loved that cat. Didn't want to get new cat after that, but in summer last year took in this white kitty with orange spots. :| Minnie, cat who I literally took from the streets, wasn't happy about kitten, still kinda isn't, because of age difference, she's gonna be 6 this year. Macho and Minnie got me through some tough times so I love 2 so much.

I was vegetarian for 13 years - now I'm pescatarian.

I know 4 languages (1 of them refreshing and learning something new) and learning 2 languages from zero - Japanese and Greek.

I love listening to music, started to buy physical music (not again, since wasn't able to buy in my teens because mom found it expensive and all I was able to get was bootleg (bootleg music, films and music was everywhere with their own little stores over here in beginning of 2000's), I had only 1 original CD out of few ones I had) especially vinyl, has some new CDs since 2013 as well aaaand few tapes. My music taste has changed so much - went from Britney, Sugababes, Atomic Kitten, Pink, Kelly Clarkson and Westlife and other pop and even Eminem and some other hip-hop in early teens, to Rihanna, Bobby V, Chris Brown (even with all the scandal), Beyonce and more R&B and some other pop stuff in late teens and early 20'ies. First changes was back around 2017 when I discovered Five Finger Death Punch, then later 1 streamer introduced me with Halestorm. Although don't listen to FFDP that much anymore, but still fan of Halestorm. Since discovering FFDP there's been more and more rock and metal bands and artists I listen to, and less mainstream pop and r&b. Even a thing I would say that "that will never happen" just happened - I recently bought my 1st death metal record. XD So ye... never say never... indeed... I started to listen to some Japanese artists as well, like Lisa, Necronomidol and Aimer.

Photography has been a hobby for really long time, since I got the phone with the camera. Still want some decent camera, wasn't able to afford 1 for really long time. I even went in with all the process to study photography in US.

Love crochet, knitting and sewing, I do some cross-stitching too. Love crafts in general. Been drawing and doodling since childhood as well.

Been streamer on Twitch since 2016, but took a break in last January. It took mental tole on me, since my channel wasn't growing that much and it wasn't there where I wanted to be in after almost 6 years of streaming with 600 followers and barely 2 average viewers. Want to make YouTube videos with some streams on Twitch, but still have to kick my own butt to make 1st video.

So ye these are few things about me, so that I could get some other interaction without bots following this blog. :) So ye... if you want to learn more, just ask.

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rigelmejo · 3 months ago

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Notes on my language levels:

Ignoring actual hours spent studying (because 1 I don't remember right now and don't want to calculate it, and 2 for Chinese and Japanese the level hour estimates would be much different... with 2200 hours as somewhere close to the 600-1000 hour estimate, and 1500 hours matching up to 4400 hours in Chinese or Japanese).

This is the level I, conservatively, think I'm at in the languages I'm studying.

Japanese: Between Level 3 (1,500 words - low level graded readers I've read like Tadoku readers, can understand easy learner podcasts like Nihongo Con Teppei, I don't rely exclusively on visual information, I can follow lessons with less visual cues like Intermediate videos on Comprehensible Japanese youtube channel), and Level 4 (3,000 words - understand a range of daily topics without visuals... I need some visuals but only the amount in actual places or a show, I do not need the visual cues of a teacher for daily topics, listening extensively to podcasts for learners would help, can handle graded readers). If I were to be generous, I'd say I'm close to Level 4 but I am not fully comfortable with daily conversation if there's zero visuals, and not fully comfortable with less easy learner podcasts.

My goal with Japanese is to hit Level 5 - 5,000 words known (which I HOPE Glossika gets me to). At that point I will understand podcasts for learners fairly well, and can listen to a lot of Nihongo Con Teppei and Yuyu no nihongo podcast. At that point easier TV shows and cartoons should be accessible (I can already watch Doraemon fine and understand fine, I'd like to be to the point where I can watch Sailor Moon, Ranma 1/2, and Inuyasha to learn a lot more new words just by watching, and rewatch shows I've seen in english to pick up new words - since I already know the context... and slice of life BL jdramas, which I am almost at the point of being able to do). Also, at that point harder graded readers like the stories on Satori Reader app should be doable.

So my plan right now is to: finish Glossika japanese then review for a month to get my vocabulary close to 5,000 words so I'm around Level 5, then listen to Nihongo Con Teppei and Yuyu no Nihongo Podcast (and maybe watch more Doraemon) to continue exposing myself to common words and hopefully picking up some more vocabulary, then when I feel ready begin to read-listen to stuff on Satori Reader and watch daily life romance jdramas and some anime I've seen before in English.

Chinese: Judging my level is a bit difficult, as I've been able to read novels in specific genres and watch shows in almost any topic for a while now. Let's put me at Level 6 for simplicity's sake, because I don't feel I'm at Level 7 (functionally done with formal studying) yet. Level 6 - 7,000 known words (which for a language like Japanese or Chinese, I am guessing may need to be to closer to 14,000 words since there's no cognates to rely on). My vocabulary estimate is 1787 "like a 15 year old in China" on ARealMe site, and on hsklevel.com my estimate is 12,500 words known, HSK 6 level vocabulary or TOCFL Band B.2 (which matches with my ability to read well). I can read stuff for teenager without looking any words up, and understand all plot and most details (like Daomubiji), when I read stuff for adults I can get through things without looking any words up but it's hit or miss as to whether I understand just the main idea and some details, or the main idea and almost all details (depends on the genre, author, unique word count, those sorts of things). In TV shows I know almost all words I see in subtitles unless I'm watching a genre I never watch (like very in depth legal-type or political genre or older wuxia and palace shows), and if I don't know a word it's usually clear in the context of a show so I guess it (which is what I do for genres I don't know as many words for).

"You can understand TV shows about daily life quite well (80 to 90%)." - I could do this a few years ago in Chinese, after around 1 year of studying. This statement is also true for me with all genres of shows, I always can understand at least the main idea even in unfamiliar show genres, which is probably at least 80% of the words given that visuals also help guess main idea plot. So I can watch shows easier than Level 6 estimates ability at this point. "You'll still want to read books that are targeted at elementary school children, although maybe you don't need to stick to the lower grades" - like with shows, I can read more difficult books than the Level 6 estimates ability at this point.

So I am maybe at some point between Level 6 and 7, and just continuing to read and listen is going to keep me improving. In Dreaming Spanish's levels, speaking is recommended at Level 6... I should practice trying to speak and write at some point... Specifically, I am listening to audiobooks right now (goal of 50 hours... just finishing 1 lol, then eventually 200 hours so 4 audiobooks), and continuing to read novels. Aiming to read 4 million words (then 11 million eventually), and I think I've only read 0.5 million so far (update: checked my last estimated word count and yes it was ~454,000 words, and I've read more since then, so I am at around 500,000 words read right now). So I'd like to read 3.5 million more words... that's around 35 cnovels if I pick webnovels around 100,000 words (a lot of webnovels are 50k-300k, with a lot that I like being 100k-150k so a goal to read 35 novels will probably get me to my goal). SCI Mystery is 495,422 words all on it's own (around another 0.5 million words). And even if we assume less words per characters, then it's equivalent to ~322,024 english words (at 650 english words to 1000 chinese characters conversion). Which is still over a quarter million words for 1 webnovel.

French: haha ha haaa. My Level is totally skewed, as I have a much weaker listening ability. I can follow an audiobook... if I have a transcript. I can read great (Level 7), I can watch videos for learners with some visual context and some abstract discussions like Comprehensible French youtube channel's B1 videos (Level 4 and Level 5). I cannot understand French shows much without subtitles (Level 5), but with subtitles they're understandable (Level 6). So I would say... my listening ability is between a Level 4 and Level 5, it would probably improve from: simply listening to more stuff for learners like Comprehensible French's B1 and B2 videos, and Ayan Academy's audio of Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature. If I listened more, I think my listening skill would get up to Level 5, and then from there I could watch French shows without subtitles, perhaps audiobooks with no transcript, and probably get my listening skill up to my reading skill with time. As for speaking... after some listening to stuff for learners, I'd be around Level 5 and probably should start practice speaking and writing...

Dreaming Spanish Levels - A good reference in general for progress milestones when studying X hours

I'm about to paste in the entire Levels Guide Dreaming Spanish has on their site, if you make an account and look at their levels. It's on this Progress page, when logged in. A less detailed version of the Levels can be found on the roadmap picture on this public Method page. I want to paste in the detailed levels descriptions, because I want to be able to reference them in my notes generally, when I'm not logged into Dreaming Spanish.

Level 1

Starting from zero.

Hours of input: 0

Known words: 0

Videos to watch: Superbeginner

What you can do: The sounds of the language sound weird to your ears. You can't tell many of those sounds apart from each other. When hearing the language, it’s hard for you to know when one word ends and when the next one begins. Even when you guess what a sentence means, many times you can’t guess at the meaning of the different parts. You can't say any words and be confident that a native speaker would understand you.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. The listening needs to be very comprehensible. The best materials are classes or videos where the teachers speak in the language, but make it easy to understand by using a lot of drawings, pictures, and gestures. Crosstalk is the most efficient activity that you can do, if you can find speakers of the language. Reading is not recommended until later on, especially if you care about having clear pronunciation. Practicing writing or speaking is not recommended yet.

What you are learning: You mostly learn individual nouns for concrete things: car, nose, elephant. Action verbs: walk, eat, sing. Adjectives for simple emotions and sensations: happy, scared, cold. Adjectives for physical properties: blue, tall, fat, beautiful. Interjections are the clearest words early on: Hey! Wow! Hi! You may learn the numbers early on, but this depends quite a lot on the kind of content you listen to.

Level 2

You know some common words.

Hours of input: 50

Known words: 300

Videos to watch: Beginner

What you can do: You understand some common words, even if you are not 100% sure how to pronounce them. You can now guess the meaning of some 2-word sentences, like "go home", or "eat cake". There are only a few words that you could produce yourself. For many words, you’re still not sure what sounds they’re made of.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You are still best served with Crosstalk or classes or videos where the teacher(s) speak in a very comprehensible way. However, with a few words under your belt you are better prepared to make the most of that input. Those words will help you understand the rest of the input you are listening to. Reading not recommended yet.

What you are learning: More verbs, since nouns help you understand them. Still mostly nouns and verbs for concrete things. Many expressions are learned as a chunk. You don’t know what their parts mean yet. Grammar for basic sentence order. Many common function words will remain unclear for a long time.

Level 3

You can follow topics that are adapted for learners.

Hours of input: 150

Known words: 1,500

Videos to watch: Intermediate

What you can do: You can now understand people if they stay within certain topics. They still need to talk to you in a way that's appropriate for you, but you know many words, and you don’t rely exclusively on visual information. You still aren’t completely used to the sounds of the language. You have a good intuition for basic grammar, like sentence order. You can sometimes feel it when other learners make mistakes. It sounds wrong somehow. You can now say quite a few words and that will already be useful when traveling to the country.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. Now you can listen to videos or classes in which the teacher doesn't use as much visual input, and may even be able to take advantage of really easy audios and podcasts that are catered to learners at your level. Crosstalk is still the best way to spend your time. At this level it becomes easier than before to do crosstalk over the internet using video call software, so you won't need to find native speakers where you live anymore. Reading is still not recommended if you care about your final achievement in pronunciation, but it starts becoming possible to understand lower level graded readers.

What you are learning: Because you are starting to get used to what the language sounds like, and what kinds of sound combinations to expect, you start learning words faster, without needing to hear them so many times. You learn nouns faster and faster. Knowing a decent amount of nouns helps you also learn more adjectives. You start learning more abstract terms for feelings, appearance, and more abstract verbs: to need, to have to, to be good at, etc. You are now getting used to more complicated grammar faster.

Level 4 (purple-blue on the DS site)

You can understand a person speaking to you patiently.

Hours of input: 300

Known words: 3,000

Videos to watch: Intermediate

What you can do: You're at the intermediate level! You can understand a patient native speaker. You still miss some words, but the speaker can explain their meaning to you without resorting to translation. You can understand a range of daily topics without visual support like drawings or pictures. The sounds of the language are becoming clearer now, and you are getting used to how the sounds are likely to be combined. That helps with retaining new words. If you tried speaking at a store, you could get your point across most of the time, but you still struggle producing even some basic words. Making friends in the language is now possible, but you need to find people who are quite patient, because not everybody will want to make that effort. Depending on your tolerance for getting negative reactions, you may want to wait a bit longer before speaking.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You can understand videos or classes in which the teacher doesn't use any visual cues, and can now benefit from listening extensively to audios and podcasts for learners everywhere you go, anytime you can. Crosstalk is still the best, most efficient way to improve. You can now make friends with whom you communicate only in the target language. While you will learn a lot when listening to people speak to you, speaking this early will invariably result in hard-to-fix non-native pronunciation, noticeably bad grammar, and poor word usage. If you really want to start having conversations with people it's recommended that you don't try to actively practice grammar or vocabulary, but rather speak in single words or simple sentences that come to mind easily. Reading is still not recommended if you care about your final achievement in pronunciation. By now you could understand slightly more difficult books, but still mostly just graded readers.

What you are learning: Surprisingly, in this phase you learn many common function words that are taught right at the beginning of most language courses. These words are used very frequently, but carry very little meaning. For example: the verb "to be" (or equivalent), prepositions (in, at, on), conjunctions (therefore, so, and), and even some pronouns. Once you become aware of a new word, you’ll encounter it everywhere. At this point you may start feeling that there are many more words that you don't know than words you do know. The exposure to less controlled speech allows you to notice many new words. Don't worry, you'll eventually also acquire those words the same way you acquired all the words you have learned until now. By this point you are full on acquiring all kinds of vocabulary, both concrete and abstract.

Level 5

You can understand native speakers speaking to you normally.

Hours of input: 600

Known words: 5,000

Videos to watch: Intermediate/advanced

What you can do: You can understand people well when they speak directly to you. They won’t need to adapt their speech for you. Understanding a conversation between native speakers is still hard. You’ll almost understand TV programs in the language, because you understand so many of the words, but they are still hard enough to leave you frustrated or bored. Conversation can be tiresome, and if you try to speak you can feel a bit like a child, since it will be hard to express abstract concepts and complex thoughts. You understand most of the words used during daily conversation, but you still can’t use many yourself. If you try to speak the language, it will feel like you are missing many important words. However, you can, often, already speak with the correct intonation patterns of the language, without knowing why, and even make a distinction between similar sounds in the language when you say them out loud.

What you need to do: Listen A LOT. You'll be able to understand more advanced materials for learners. Listen to audios and podcasts daily if you want to learn fast. Crosstalk is still as good as always. You may start feeling you are not getting much out of getting input about daily life topics. Try getting input about new topics. Easier TV programs and cartoons should be accessible too. The purists who want to get really close to a native speaker and get a really good accent may still want to hold off on speaking and reading for a little more, but if you do start speaking and reading it's not a big deal by this point. You'll still end up with better pronunciation and fluency than the vast majority of learners. If you want to start reading, by this point you'll be able to understand books targeted at children of lower grade levels, and you can skip over graded readers. If you start reading, try setting every gadget you own (PC, phone, Google and Facebook settings, etc.) to the target language, and following speakers of the language on social media.

What you are learning: This level can feel frustratingly similar to the previous one. You will still feel that there are many more words that you don't know than words you do know. You'll now feel many more instances of finally understanding that word that you have been hearing since forever. It may feel like these words are infinite, but no! Continue doing what you are doing and you'll little by little fill in all the missing gaps. For some words, you’ll even wonder why you hadn’t learned such a basic word yet. Learning abstract words (democracy, absence, patience) will be your bread and butter, as will be learning more and more grammatical connectors. At this level you’ll mostly finish up the grammar and the different sentence types. While still not being able to make the most complex sentences yourself, you’ll become able to understand almost every type of sentence.

Level 6 (green-blue on the site)

You are comfortable with daily conversation.

Hours of input: 1,000

Known words: 7,000

Videos to watch: Advanced

What you can do: You can really have fun with the language at this point. You are conversationally fluent for daily purposes of living in the country and you can get by at the bank, at the hospital, at the post office, or looking for an apartment to rent. In spite of that odd word that is not quite there when you need it, you can always manage to get your point across in one way or another, and by now you are already making complex longer phrases. At this level, for the first time, you start feeling like you are actually thinking about what you want to say, and not about how you want to say it, even though you may fall back on thinking about how you say things, especially in stressful situations or when feeling self-conscious. Using humor in the language is much easier now. You can understand TV shows about daily life quite well (80 to 90%). Shows about families, friends, etc. Unscripted shows will usually also be easier to understand than scripted shows, as long as they are not too chaotic or rely too much on cultural knowledge. Thrillers and other genres will still be hard.

What you need to do: Listen and read A LOT. It's also a good idea to get massive input in authentic media, be it TV, podcasts, radio, movies, etc. If you can't find a lot of easy media in the target language, you may find that videos and audios for learners are still more efficient for acquiring new vocabulary until you get a bit better. If your target language has many common words with a language you already know you may be able to understand quite well things like TED talks and university lectures. Lots of reading is also recommended if you want to be literate and if you care about reading. You'll still want to read books that are targeted at elementary school children, although maybe you don't need to stick to the lower grades. Nonfiction will often be much easier to understand than fiction. By this point, speaking and reading are completely unrestricted, and it's really encouraged to make friends in the language. If you live in the country, join as many social activities as you can. Live in a shared apartment, go to bars, join dance classes, a sports team, anything! Set your PC, phone, and all your online profiles to your target language. Make a list of daily things you do in your own language, and find alternatives to do them in your target language.

What you are learning: You may find the odd common word that you haven't learned yet, but by now your known vocabulary pretty much covers everything that you will usually want to say during everyday conversation. If you make friends and have real conversations, or watch certain TV shows, you will now be learning a lot of slang. By now, your knowledge will cover most sentence structures and grammatical words, so you will rarely learn these anymore, unless they are specific to certain registers of the language. You will mostly learn specific vocabulary used in formal speech or in writing. Most words that you learn now will be words that are used in more formal registers of speech like in the news, words used in formal writing, literary writing, or technical terms used in the specific fields that you are interested in: politics, technology, science, or 13th century woodblock prints. If your language doesn’t share a lot of its specialized vocabulary with your new language, you may still have to work on this for a long while.

Level 7

You can use the language effectively for all practical purposes.

Hours of input: 1,500

Known words: 12,000+

Videos to watch: Advanced

What you can do: You can understand any general content effortlessly, including newspapers, novels, and all types of TV shows and movies. You might still struggle with technical texts in unfamiliar fields, heavy regional slang, and shows with intricate plots. You speak fluently and effortlessly, without thinking about the language. While native speakers might still detect a slight accent, your clarity and fluidity make your speech easy to understand, and no one considers you a learner anymore. You may still make some mistakes, or miss a specific word here and there, but it doesn’t hinder you from being an effective member of society.

What you need to do: Listen and read A LOT. Add variety to what you read and listen to. By this point it's easy to find media in the target language that you understand very well, but it's also easy to get comfortable and not seek new challenges. If you want to continue improving, simply do things that you have never done before. Try reading a book by a new author, try watching a show about a topic that you're unfamiliar with (about space, about the Middle Ages, about lawyers, etc). If you live in the country, try joining activities that are new to you: a sports team, an improv group, comedy nights, etc.

What you are learning: You will continue learning slang, and learning about the culture, and that will allow you to understand more and more cultural references. You can explore other regional dialects of the language, ancient literary versions of the language, or vocabulary in other technical or scientific fields that you may want to learn about. You will still encounter new idioms and proverbs, but they will almost always be clear from the context. And of course, you can start learning your next language!

#progress #october progress #language levels #dreaming spanish #i just wanted to place clearly where I was according to these levels. and if my planned study for the next so many months #was in line with my actual goals - and it looks like it is.#rant #i am so excited to get to the point in japanese where I can just primarily listen to stuff and watch stuff #i hate flashcard/drilling vocabulary. but with japanese there's just SO many unknown words and i NEED to learn pronunciation too #so there's really no way to increase vocabulary in a speedy way except drilling that includes audio #even when i do read... Satori Reader will let me look up pronunciation and spelling for new words #but i cant jump to primarily reading only to learn as quickly as the way i did with French and Chinese

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uweiy · 2 years ago

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Original Content Masterpost

because even I can’t find my own damn content on this damned website.

*All fics mentioned are directly on Tumblr unless specified otherwise

The Untamed

Gifsets: Wwx and rooftops /Wangxian and jc being done part 1, part2, part3 / Yiling laozu /At Nevernight I wasn't by your side / I broke my promise /Bunny lanterns 🐇 / Lwj understanding the golden core thing

Fanart: Wwx flower boy mini comic / The red undergarnment / Song Lan / It snows / Yanqing and books

Memes: Is this... 🫱🦋🐦?/ Stabbing yourself in the heart /Picture u can hear /Y'all deserved better / Alignment chart / Tag urself (the untamed characters as people in my classroom ft. Stickmen) / The Untamed character generator

A lot of Textposts-y memes:

Wwx introducing himself and lwj / wwx translating lwj microexpressions / he'd marry you if you asked brother / wwx chugging a whole jar of ??? / Wwx no / there is no cure / Jiang fengmian loves his sons equally / lqr at wangxian wedding / wangji this is not allowed / I'm cold / get the hoe / I wasn't drunk / wen Ning is precious / shut UP / good morning :D

The juniors shenanigans: Jin Ling adulting / *sneaking out*/da headbands very precious yes / fairy climbs a tree

Fics

Xicheng Trying to hold on to you (1.6k, hurt/comfort), you confused me with a fucking dog (1.6k, College AU), They were roommates (10k, college AU)

Wangxian: Night of shooting stars (1.3k,Star!Lwj), Those who bleed (600 words, angst)

Other: Dangling Accessories (1.9k JC&Jin ling, Wandering Heart (Yanqing, 1.5k) Mianmian's Education course (Jc &wq, 800words) Alive (wwx-centric, drabble), Ouyang Zizhen at yi-city (<1k)

More detailed Cql-fic masterpost (with summaries) INCOMPLETE. Or read them in the AO3 collection (username Namariae).

Talks and other stuff

Yanqing 😍

The Untamed rewatch

2019 top 10 favourite posts / 2019 top 10 most popular posts

Cql OST / Beyond Control (LXC Character song)

Ask game

Cultivator conferences = disaster

Mriad

Posts: Chuyao being gay / Chuyao still being gay / list of things Lu Yao stole from Chusheng / Seriously so gay / go make me coffee

Fics: Empty space(filled with flowers) / All that glitters (ao3)

The Devil Judge

Beyond Evil vs The Devil Judge

Textposts: Get the fuck outta my house / Noo don't check me out ahaha / the Gaon Judas imagery

Gifs: *homoerotically pushes you against wall*I heard you live alone / the Kang Mansion / undresses you to tend to ur wounds

Fic: Rightful Place part 1 (Gahan)/ Rightful Place Masterpost

Love is Science

What the fuck is Love is Science?

Gifs: Ouwen's oh shit moments / Mark panicking bc gay / Shen Ying imitating a Sloth / that kiss in the gym / Ouwen pretty ✨ / Lee Mark's outfits are bisexualcore / love is in the little things

Memes/Other: Savage Ouwen / u're reasonable but ur friends are dumbasses /

Fic: The Mark/Ouwen sickfick no one asked for (domestic)

Recommendation lists

Top 5 BL shows I like

I have nothing to watch (yes u do)

Other:

Pile of Goop Aoki (Kieta Hatsukoi) / Rainless love in a Godless land / To my Star cooking (To my Star) / The 6 stages of Tumblr / Hanahaki disease prompts(?)

>📺(more or less) Current Watchlist

___

Other interests

Lotr

Viggo Mortensen has chaotic neutral energy

Continued list of things Viggo did

I've only had Frodo for a Day and a half

What do we do When we are sad

Aragorn you go king

(Discussion)Why does Gandalf love hobbits so much?

The Clearest diamonds (Bagginshield, AO3)

Stranger Things / The Sandman

over at @grabyourpillow

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absolutebl · 1 year ago

Note

I have some YouTube channels already saved and I'm sure I've seen everything on Viki. I've heard of Googoo, but haven't tried it. Do you have a list somewhere that I can poke around in to help me satisfy my bl addiction? Thank you!!!!

You mean a post addressing the different streaming services?

Sure do and it's stats based... my favorite:

If you want a list of BLs you need to give me more guidance, I've watched 632 of them so...

Generally I ask people what they are looking for, or to name their top 10 so I can guide them towards more of what they like.

But if you just wanna jump in then you should start with this, if you can:

It should, hopefully provide you with some kind of guidance and foundation. I'll repost it for you.

Specifically, here on tumblr, is the fandom guide:

If you want a list of my top favorites, please know very few have the same taste as me but I redo it every 100 BLs (HA! I'm ridiculous). Since I hit 600 recently the updated one is here:

Welcome welcome. Have fun!!!

#welcoem to BL #BL guides adn such #asked and answered

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sly-merlin · 4 years ago

Text

KILLING ME- 14

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : (fluff) angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, mention of drugs, character death.

words : ~4k

summary :

“life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

K.M 13

TAGLIST : @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct @hyuckiesgf @theworld-accordingtocasey @simplybree

@yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl–ankhaeji @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @bralessmermaid @minhoseyeliner @tyongpoetry @swimmingkpopblog @jkjkseo @orphicmoon @floralescapes

A/N : this chapter marks the celebration of this blog surpassing 600 followers! thank you so much for all the support! also for minor readers, the sfw versions of nsfw chapters are given at the end of the masterlist so check those properly before reading.

•••••••••••••

y/n! Are you sleeping?”

Registering his words, you replied in a groggy voice,“What the fuck do you want?”

“Your phone. I left mine in the medical room. I need to call Mark right now.” with some authority, he spoke.

Whining loudly, you fell back on the bed. It was only due but flailing your arms and legs like a kid in a toy store, you let out a screech full of annoyance, cursing your fate.

Were you really going to babysit him now?

"Have you suddenly lost your hearing? Stop with this sick attitude and open the door."

A puff of air left your nose, your chest moved rhythmically with your stomach and you relaxed your arms beneath your head, eyes fixed at the fan above and ears ringing with his voice. He kept calling you and after a number of shouts, you started humming to distract yourself, afraid that you'd end up helping him otherwise. That was something, naturally, you were not interested in. Last time he had ignored your voice and now nature had presented you with an opportunity to return the favour. Just with a bit less flavour.

"Are you dead?"

"Hmmm. To you, yes I am." Mumbling, you yawned and pushed yourself up to reach your side table and fishing out your earphones from the bottom drawer, you untangled them and fixed them comfortably in your ear, hiding yourself underneath the sheets.

Sonata no.14 instantly transported you away from the noise and the stress that was your unwanted husband, yuta. The smile playing on your lips widened as you realised that you were his only mode of communication at the moment.

But You were going for a nap. Until then, he could wait. And thrash. And cry. Or die.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you rotated the handle of the door to walk outside but your little trip was interrupted when your body collided straight into a wall. No. The obstruction was too soft for a wall.

Opening your eyes properly, you saw yuta standing stiff. Surprised at the sudden appearance, you immediately stumbled back and in hurry, hit your spine on the wooden door. The glare of his eyes, that always spoke more than you could comprehend, coupled with a clenched jaw, was not a very pleasant sight for sure yet you found it harder to dart your own eyes away from him.

"Your phone" he seethed, breathing deeply.

"Huh?" You croaked out.

He raised his brow and in an instant, the previous scenario played like a short movie in your head. Snapping your head down, you regarded his leg with pity. He obviously noticed it immediately but seemed to ignore it and refrained from saying anything. Good for you, you thought.

"Are you deaf?"

Your furrowed brows met his eyes and with a roll of his own, he picked up his finger to force his demand but you managed to walk back inside your room before he could've done that.

Your back faced him as you contemplated your options while slowly stretching your arm to reach for your phone on the other side of the bed.

should you even be giving him your phone?

You had more trust in Taeyong than the man you shared a roof with so there was no way you were doing that.

Unbeknownst to you, yuta was watching your movements intently and the way you bobbed your head, he knew you were scheming something so he decided to be polite for a moment. Only until you were needed. Or your phone was needed.

Once the phone was in your hand, another thought crossed your mind.

"Wait. Where is the house phone?" Crossing your arms, you asked him slyly, already knowing the answer

"You fucking never got it installed. It's still in its stupid package" he seemed rather impatient.

"And you could've called reception through the door telecom. He would have phoned Mark for you. These rich apartments certainly have more hospitality tha-

"I CAN'T GO AROUND DISTRIBUTING AN UNDERGROUND CRIMINAL'S CONTACT NUMBER TO EVERYONE"

He inhaled and exhaled and you just watched until he opened his eyes again, hand reaching out to you.

"Chill. I've every right to be sceptic especially when you are the one asking for it."

Finding Mark's number on your phone, you called him.

Yuta's hand threaded through his rough hair as he noticed what you were trying to do.

"Hey mark!" Your chirpy voice resounded in the room and yuta was sure this was some different spirit speaking. You sounded too bubbly for the way you were investigating him just a second ago.

"Yes yes. His phone exactly.i don't trust him enough to hand over my phone so that's why I'm calling you myself. Just hurry up if you can or you might have to clean up a dead body in the next few hours."

With that you cut the phone. Without meeting yuta's gaze and resting your hand on the handle, you mumbled,

"He'll be here in an hour."

You were about to close the door when he stopped it with the palm of his hand, alerting you with the force.

"Tell him to get some food too."

And limping, he retired back, to the couches.

Sighing, you messaged mark. Had it been for something else, you'd have ignored but your own stomach had signalled you that it needed some good food so you chose not to fight against your own body.

Now, only the taste of the food could decide how many days you were going to tolerate that barbaric human.

"Are you still going to that stupid internship?" Johnny hesitantly murmured from your desk chair while taking big bites from the plate.

"It's not stupid please! I’m just waiting for them to actually pay attention to my awesome capabilities so they can transfer me to the main branch. This is not bad either but”, you stopped to lick your forefinger and tasting the sauce, continued, “but I really wanna go into the criminal unit. That’s where the actual fun is. As long as i’m being paid decently, i’ll suffer with the stupid research work here.”

“With the tongue as sharp as yours, I think you should be getting ready for a demotion instead” he laughed, showing you his fake bunny teeth in the most annoying and childish way.

“Ha ha ha ha. Some well wisher you are! Thank you so much for looking out for me but I'll be fine. Who knows the gatekeeper’s pay package is more than me. So it’d be a win-win in that case too I guess?” when you did a drum roll with your chopsticks to stress upon your point, he laughed harder.

"So being broke is the new black?" Rolling his eyes, he dragged out, "I swear you kids don't know how this world works."

"And you, grandpa of the century, knows?"

"I'm aware of what I need for my survival and from what I've learnt, you can either take risks or look for job security. In your case, " he fake coughed, "where the proportions of risk taking have already exceeded the acceptable limit, a job security is the best and safest option to choose."

"And that would justify my greed and desire to work for the biggest company of this city."

"Kun. The security you need and the independence you seek would be given by kun. Chois are hmm how to say? Cheap? Yeh cheap. They have no work ethics. "

"Have you worked with them, johnny?"

"No. I'm ju-

"Then was your ex a choi?" You saw his eyes comically and cutely widening at your remark.

"No. My ex wasn't a choi and that's not what I'm saying and you know that."

"Oh. So your ex wasn't a choi. Then a lee? Kim? Im? Oh my god! Look at your cheeks seo!" You dragged out. He shook his head as you kept wiggling your brows at him.

"She was a kim but that doesn't mean I would hate all kims dude. That's baseless and stop ignoring the topic. I want you to apply in Kuns. It's the best option. Do it as soon as you-

"Yeah yeah we'll see about that. First take that bitch back. I can't even nap in his presence. "

"Umm. Yeah. You gotta tolerate him. And besides he's injured. Injured yuta is like a gun without a bullet. He's gonna shout for a day or two and then peace out. He'll be sleeping and reading in his room and you won't even know if he's alive or not."

"Now that's bullshit. What is he going to do here anyway? I hope he can hop himself on one leg because even if the sun rises from the north, I am not going to do a single task for him. He can die hungry , for all I care.”

“Do you think you can endure him for some tasty dinners?”

Clicking your tongue, you quipped, “Do you really think you can buy me with a few homemade meals?”

Day 1

Yes. you were sold. The moment the tasty noodles had melted in your mouth, you knew you had no dignity. And you were indeed ashamed of yourself.

Earlier, Renjun had called you to inform you that he had delivered the food and medicines for yuta and had left your dinner box but he had failed to mention the special and endearing note that was pasted on the glass box. In the curvy letters, it read bitchy piglet and you swore the only person you’d be killing before yuta would be jaehyun. But you were going to use jaehyun to build up your tolerance instead.

When you went out to clean your dishes, he was playing some game on his phone, excitement evident from the way he was laughing every other second. Maybe if he remained occupied, he would not be so insufferable.

Day 3

"Oyii! Oyii!"

No. You were wrong. He was very very much insufferable.

At midnight, his voice echoed, disturbing your sleep. You cursed at the cool atmosphere that had prevented you from using the air con which otherwise would have blocked his annoying screeches. But it seemed like bad luck wanted to change its name to y/n instead. With your name being called like a broken record, it was a fight between you and him that you were not going to lose. Shuffling to your side, you covered your ears with the other pillow and tried to drown out the annoyingly demanding and hoarse voice. There was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of having any power over you. He could cry for all he liked!

“What the fuck do you want at this hour?”

Attempting a glare at him through sleepy lids, you spewed with irritation. Unlike you, he was very much awake, breathing with the sole purpose of making you question your whole existence.

“Pillow” scratching his non-existent beard, he mumbled.

Your nostrils flared and jaw clenched at such inconvenient command.

“You summoned me for a pillow? A pillow that can normally be found on a person’s bed? Can you please rectify your demand or did I just simply hear something wrong?”

The opened curtains and the moonlight that drenched the room was the only source that illuminated his face for you and even with drooping eyes, you could see how serious he was and yet you couldn't hold your tongue back because he simply deserved every shit you bestowed him with.

“Turn the lights on and count the pillows on my bed! And when you are done, get me some pillows from your room.” he simply stated.

“Why should i give you my pillow? I need them!”

“Because I don't use a pillow and I need it asap!”

“Then why do you suddenly need one? To disturb my sleep? Oh that makes sense.” and suddenly, your eyes had synced with your body to side with your fight mode.

“I need them for elevating my leg. The bandage is too tight and it’s not comfortable.”

“Then why don't you walk out of the room and get some cushions for yourself!” you raised your volume.

“Because my leg is in pain and i’m unable to get up? What makes you think I'm dying to see your ugly face at this time of the night. I dont wanna have nightmares of you as well but i can't help it ok!”

“you should have kept them near you. And who are you calling ugly hmm? You poop fac-

“Okay scream for all you want! But get me a pillow when your battery dies down!”

“What the fuck d- are you covering your ears? Wow ways to be generous!”

Stomping your foot, you left the room to get the hardest cushion on the couch.

“Here! Next time call Mark if you want anything. Don’t raise your voice ever again to call me because unlike you, i have work in the morning and hence I need some sleep..”

Just when you were about to leave after shoving the cushion in his hand, he spoke up again,

“This is damn hard! I asked for your pillow specifically and not th- AHH!”

A scream left him as you harshly removed the support , leaving his leg to painfully meet the mattress.

“How about you fix your attitude before fixing your leg?” suggesting, you dropped the cushion on the floor and left.

He didn't call you after that. Nor that you cared. However, the sleep in your eyes somehow vanished. Dancing on your sides didn’t help. Neither did drinking a glass of water. So, with a groan, you listened to your conscience and picked up your extra pillow that was sadly too perfect for your enemy.

Padding to his room, you tried your best to scrutinise and hearing his heavy snores, you placed the pillow right under his thigh and the cushion under his calf. Scoffing at his sleeping figure, you internally groaned to remind yourself that you hadn't done it for him. It was just a debt. For the blanket he had once covered you with. Nothing more and nothing less.

Day 5

You just wanted him out of your hair. He was just being a load on your head. At first, only the work was kicking your ass, then jungwoo was kicking you like a punching bag for an hour straight and adding to your distress was yuta.

"I'm not your maid! Stop piling up the dishes for me. I've had enough mercy on you. From today onwards, get a cleaner for yourself or buy disposable cutlery. I'm not going to clean after you!"

With a roll of his eyes, he had ignored you.

And so did you. Pasting a warning note on the sink tap, you had left for the library with a dying hope that maybe the kitchen would be spotless on your arrival or you'd be dialing some numbers in the evening.

For someone who despised the solemn atmosphere of libraries, you had successfully spent 11 hours in the said hellish room. It was 11 p.m and you wanted to sleep, more than anything but here you were, waiting for yugyeom so he'd just pick you up for a good drinking session that you were dying to have.

Fortunately, you weren't the only one who had missed living these past days. Everyone, for different reasons, was suffering so you felt a little less bad for yourself even though you knew your troubles were far more grave than their academic burdens.

"Wake up shorts" someone whispered in your ear. Squirming on your seat, you whipped your head in your sleepy state and found jungkook caressing your head, goofily smiling at you.

"I thought you wanted to hang out till the next morning" air quoting the last words, he picked up your bag.

"Yeah. Let's go. I'm all ready for a night full of vodkas." You yawned out.

"Definitely. No. You are going home. We can have a small get together me and yuggy are done with our final project." He dragged you out into the parking lot.

" I feel like it's been years since we got drunk together. You are never here anymore!" You whined at him, complaining your heart out.

"I will be. Soon. Then we can celebrate your little choi job as well."

"Oh please. Don't even mention it. If I had penny for every time they rolled their eyes at me, I'd be richer than your parents kook." You huffed out and as his gentle laugh surrounded you, you closed your eyes resting your back against the seat, expecting to be up by the time he'd park.

But the next day, you woke up tangled in the sheets of your bed, unaware of the events of the previous night.

When you had warned yuta about the dirty dishes, you hadn't expected him to fill the corners of the kitchen with disposable containers. It looked like you had missed a whole drama while sleeping in the library. The kitchen was shining except for the new utensils. But as long as you were not babysitting him, you were fine with anything. You didn't want to jinx your relief, however, you were glad you would be able to get some work done. finally.

You had spoken too early for your own good. Just when you sat down to write your paper, passionate and enthusiastic howls of that man pierced through your earphones and once again, you opened the window and hopped outside, in the balcony, ready to drown him out. Sipping on your lemonade, you gaped at the scenery the not so distant traffic provided you with and somehow, your thoughts wandered to the only person these horns reminded you of. Johnny.

What are you doing? Your fingers hovered over the text but once again, you deleted the message, declaring it to be too childish for someone as mature as him. Maybe you were just being silly. Maybe you were not. But who was going to put a stamp on your maybe?

Tears pricked your eyes as the harsh words of your senior thundered in the room. He kept shouting and you had no option than to consume each and every word he directed at you. Even if you were being insulted in front of your twenty other co-workers, staying quiet was the best option, you ascertained. so along with your saliva, you gulped your explanations down your throat.

Howsoever unconscious, you were still in the wrong. There was no excuse as to why you had mailed the wrong bills, apart from the headache that was caused by the person possibly lying on the sofa and watching t.v back home. No matter how much you tried to run away from his existence, he had somehow managed to let himself inside your head.

Glaring at the kid who asked for his turn on the park swing, you pushed yourself a little higher, letting the wind greet your stinging eyes as it hit your face in waves. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you chose to ignore jungwoo for a day as it was the time, you decided, to let all the lessons that the past few months had taught you sink into your mind, to bleed into your soul so you won’t ever be able to deviate from them. Ever.

Only if that was so easy. You knew blaming others for your problems was no solution but trivialising them by not paying heed wasn't a smart move either.

When you reached home, your frustrations had died down. So when yuta simpered and pointed towards your empty container, telling you how he had already finished your supposed dinner, you simply rolled your eyes at him, robbing him of whatever he wanted to achieve by riling you up. Heating up the water, you were about to open the noodles packet when yeong called you.

You stared at the shattered phone screen in disbelief as the endless tears ran down your cheeks. As you verbalised the words to yourself again, your body met the floor with a thud.

Jungkook. Drugs. No more.

Three words had silenced the screeches in your head and your mind busied itself in rejecting what you had heard for it had to be a lie. But what how were you going to ignore the heart wrenching screams that yeong had let out. How were you going to dismiss the truth.

How were you all going to accept it?

••••••••••••••••

next update: Some day between 5-7 June.

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #cznnet #kafenetwork #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct smut #nct angst #nct mafia #nct reactions #yuta scenarios #yuta imagines #yuta smut #nct arrange marriage #yuta angst #yuta mafia #johnny scenarios

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