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lelitachay · 7 months

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Frozen fanfiction: Søsken

Summary: An accident in the North Mountain forces Elsa to spend several weeks in her brother’s apartment under Anna’s care. During that time, Anna realises there is more to Elsa than meets the eye. The truth about Elsa’s past comes to light after an unexpected family reunion, and both girls’ lives begin to fall apart when they realise Elsa wasn’t the only one with a big secret and a turbulent past.

Anna/Kristoff - Elsa - Family - Family drama - hurt/comfort - Modern AU - Elsa & Kristoff are adoptive brother and sister - Ice bros - Found family - Serious injuries - Mental health issues - Health issues - Frohana

Links:

Fanfiction.net - HERE AO3 - HERE

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Chapters 1 to 10 - Here Chapters 11 to 20 - Here Chapters 21 to 30 - Here Chapters 31 to 40 - Here Chapter 41 - Here Chapter 42 - Here Chapter 43 -Here Chapter 44- Here Chapter 45 - Here Chapter 46 - Here Chapter 47 - Here Chapter 48 - Here Chapter 49 - Here -

Armistice

“It needs to be someone we can trust.”

“We already know that; I don’t see why you keep insisting on discussing this when the three of us could easily do it.”

Sitting on the far corner of the old café, Anna took a sip of her coffee as she watched Kai and Nielsen argue, debating for the umpteenth time things that had already been discussed.

The only thing keeping Anna inside the café was knowing Gerda would show up at any moment. They’d all be together to decide what was best to do about Elsa’s care, which was the last item on their list.

What was left to decide was important, even more so than what to do about Haugen, in her opinion. But the longer they stayed away from Elsa, the more impatient she became. After having heard Kai, Nielsen and her father argue about the legal aspects of going against Haugen for almost an hour, there was nothing she wanted more than to go back to the hospital and see her sister. She was tired of the what-ifs and hypothetical scenarios. All they did was increase everyone's paranoia instead of offering real solutions.

She took another sip and placed the cup on the table, keeping a firm hold on it with both hands. The warm ceramic cup offered a soothing feeling and helped her keep her mind far away from everything for a few seconds. It reminded her of the evenings spent in Elsa's cottage, playing cards and enjoying hot chocolate. If she closed her eyes and tried hard enough, she could almost pretend the last week was nothing but a sick nightmare.

Though the comforting feeling didn't last more than a minute, breaking the spell and forcing her back to the sad reality. Despite what she had tried to show on the outside, her argument with Marshall had truly affected her. The mountaineer was starting to lose hope and it made her wonder if anything they were doing was even worth doing. What was the point of quarrelling for over an hour about the upcoming weeks when Elsa was still hopelessly unconscious? Were they doing the right thing or were they simply wasting their last chances to say goodbye?

The thought alone was enough to fill her eyes with tears.

She closed them tight and tried to get rid of the awful feeling before Kristoff noticed. She didn’t want to tell him Marshall was losing faith. She didn't want to give him another reason to stay awake, turning in bed at night.

With just a quick glance, she could see the dark circles under his eyes and the now ever-present frown drawn on his face. Their sister's serious condition was taking a toll on him, and Anna worried he wouldn't be strong enough to deal with whatever happened in the upcoming days.

“I told you —both of you— I just want to stay by her side. I don’t want nor need to discuss any of this.”

Gerda's voice pulled Anna back to the present and she was surprised to see her standing in between Kai and Nielsen’s chairs. Too absorbed in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard the woman enter the bar nor greet them.

“Gerda, this is—” Kai tried to explain, but she stopped him.

“I can't deal with the pressure of looking after Elsa and making these choices, Kai. I just can't.” With her arms crossed over her chest she left no place for arguments.

“Mum,” Kristoff called, his voice low and tired. “I asked them to call you, okay?”

A sad smile painted Gerda's face as she locked eyes with her son, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table next to Anna.

“Dear… I didn't see you there.” She then looked around, nodding to Anna and Agdar as she realised they were there as well. “How are you?” She got closer to where Kristoff and Anna were, so as not to raise her voice and disturb the rest of the people in the café. “Have you eaten anything?”

The unconditional love she gave her adoptive children was something that never failed to amaze Anna. Even now, when she had more than a justified reason to focus on other things, the first instinct was to make sure her son was okay before anything else. Anna knew Gerda was merely pretending to be strong at that point, but somehow she was still able to seem stronger in her son's presence.

“Have you?” Kristoff asked.

She averted her eyes. “Something… this morning.”

He quickly glanced at his watch, “It's almost five.”

“Don't worry.” Gerda moved her hand in the air, downplaying his concern.

“We do worry,” Nielsen interrupted. He placed his empty cup of tea back on the table and intertwined his fingers, resting his chin on top of his hands. “That’s something we need to discuss.”

“Jonnas, for the last time,” Gerda said before he began scolding her like a child. “As long as Elsa's in there I'm not leaving. Someone needs to stay by her side at all times.”

“Is there someone with her right now?”

It was the first thing her father had said in the last twenty minutes, and Anna couldn’t help but see him as a stranger. Always outspoken, her father was used to having the last word, not to be a mere witness in a meeting. Now that the conversation revolved around Elsa’s care, Anna found her father’s silence unsettlingly necessary.

Gerda nodded in response, but didn't say anything to him. Instead, she turned her attention back to Nielsen and their conversation. “We can't leave Elsa alone.”

“And we won't,” Nielsen agreed. “That’s the reason I needed you in this meeting.”

Gerda opened her mouth to speak again but he raised his hand stopping her.

“So far I found no reason to suspect Elsa's treatment has been impaired in any way.” He was addressing the whole table, making sure everyone was aware of the situation. “The medical team is doing a remarkable job and I don't have any reason to suspect they have been running unnecessary tests.”

“That's a relief,” Agdar murmured.

“I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary either,” Gerda said, agreeing with Nielsen.

“However, this doesn't mean the nurses won't receive odd requests from Haugen in the upcoming days.” Nielsen warned them. “Elsa's recovery is just beginning and we might need to keep an eye on her and the medical team for several weeks.”

Anna raised her head. “Weeks?”

“Even if Elsa were to wake up tomorrow,” Nielsen explained. “She'd still have a long way to go before she could go home. And I'm not bringing her powers into the mix here. Sepsis is a serious matter, its recovery a long process.”

“Do you think her powers will compromise her recovery in any way?”

“To be honest…” He let his finger skim the page of an old journal Anna had seen him carry during the last few days. He turned the page and scanned the content in the new page as well. “I have no idea what will happen. Past experience suggests they will go out of control at some point. My main concern is the medical team losing focus or starting to doubt our word. If this happens, they’ll turn to Landvik or Haugen for answers.” He took off his glasses, and neatly put them away. “I need competent people looking after Elsa. Gerda is the ideal person, but she can’t keep doing it on her own. That means I need someone who can keep an eye on the nurses and help Elsa control her powers in case they go out of control when she wakes up.”

“We'll take turns,” Kristoff said, not understanding the problem. “The three of us.” He pointed to his father, Anna and himself. “It’ll give mum extra time to rest.”

“I appreciate the offer, Kristoff,” Nielsen said sympathetically. “I have no doubt you’d do the absolute best; but sadly, your presence would be useless.”

“Useless?”

“Even if you stay by her side at all times, you wouldn't know what the medical team is doing.” Gerda explained, hoping her son didn’t take the doctor’s words to heart.

“Not to mention the ICU is a delicate matter. You’d need to know what’s best to do in dire situations. The patient's condition can change in a matter of seconds and it could be counterproductive to have you around.”

“More counterproductive than mum being tired to the bone?”

Kristoff was getting mad, Anna didn’t need him to raise his voice to notice, but she could understand Nielsen’s predicament. Even if she did her very best, she wouldn’t know what to do as soon as the machines around her sister started beeping erratically.

“Kristoff, I understand you want to help, but in this situation I am still the best option. I can look after your sister. Don’t worry.” Gerda tried to reason with her son as well as convince Nielsen she could still do the job.

“No, you can’t.” Nielsen countered. “You can't keep going on like this. You're exhausted. And if you don't start taking breaks and looking after yourself, I'll restrict the time you can stay by her side.”

Turning her head as fast as lightning, Gerda looked daggers at the doctor. “You wouldn't dare.”

Ignoring Gerda’s murderous look, Nielsen raised his cup of tea and took a slow sip before he spoke again. “Don't push me, Gerda.”

“What do you suggest then, Nielsen?” Kai asked, sounding a lot more tired than he had all day. “I agree Gerda needs rest, but where will we find a trustworthy person who can keep an eye on the medical stuff?

Nielsen stayed quiet for a minute, thinking about their options. “Isn't one of your brothers a force medical examiner? Ask the department to request his presence in town.”

“No,” Kai said firmly, not thinking twice about his answer.

“Uncle Nikolai is a great idea,” Kristoff said.

“I can't request my brother’s presence on the other side of the country without a good reason,” Kai answered seriously. “Not to mention I’m not on duty at the moment.”

Knitting his brows, Kristoff took a hard look at his father, trying to understand his reasoning. “Then call him. Tell him to take some time off.”

“I can’t ask him to fly all the way here all of a sudden.”

“Why the hell not?”

“What do I tell him, exactly?”

“Perhaps tell him his niece is dying, I'm sure he'll get the message,” Nielsen said, mindlessly, interrupting the argument between father and son. The normally composed doctor now seemed to be running out of patience. It was only when he noticed the dejected looks and tense silence on the table that he realised his mistake. “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean—” He cleared his throat. “I’m having a hard time following Kai’s reasoning, that’s all.”

Gerda was the first to find her voice and decided to explain the situation better. “Even though Kai's brothers, as well as my sister, know we adopted Elsa, they haven't met her.”

Everyone except the Bjorgman family blinked incredulously at Gerda. Anna knew about Kristoff’s aunt and uncles. He had mentioned sharing meals and travelling to visit them when he was a teen. It made no sense for Kristoff to meet the rest of the family and not Elsa.

“Elsa's been part of your family for over ten years,” Nielsen stated, as confused as Anna.

“They tried to talk us out of adopting her,” Gerda said. She didn't want to look at Kristoff while she explained the reason why his sister had never travelled with him to visit them. Her son held his aunt and uncles in great esteem and she had tried to keep the truth from him for as long as possible. “We told them bits of Elsa's past. Her unusual upbringing and about the police investigation… They insisted it was a bad idea. We never even get to mention her powers; they were all determined to convince us adopting Elsa was a mistake.”

“What?” Kristoff said, his fists tightening under the table.

“They kept insisting she was bad news,” Kai said, helping Gerda. “We thought it was best to keep Elsa away from a judging family.”

Kristoff frowned, fixing his eyes on the wooden table. His silence didn't betray how much the news affected him, his fists, however, told another story. Wishing to offer him some comfort, Anna put her hand in his in an attempt to stop it from shaking.

“Great. Just great,” Nielsen exclaimed, before Kristoff could gather his thoughts. “You have someone in the family who can actually do something for her and—”

Knowing getting into arguments with one another wouldn't lead them anywhere, Anna interrupted the doctor. “Dr Nielsen, could someone outside the family look after her?”

He took a deep breath, calming himself down before he returned to a more professional role. “As long as it's someone I can trust, it’s possible. I'll need to come up with a good reason to allow the person in, the ICU is a tightly controlled area.”

“Elsa's closest friend is a paramedic,” she said, hoping a paramedic was good enough. “Is it possible to let him in?”

Kai and Gerda looked up, knowing exactly who she was referring to. Their facial expressions, showing entirely different reactions from one another.

“Marshall,” Gerda exclaimed. “Marshall Hålkesen. I completely forgot about him.” She turned to Nielsen, a small smile drawn on her face.

“Hålkesen…” Nielsen murmured, pondering. “Yes. That's the kind of person we need.”

Before Anna got the chance to say she knew where to find him. Kai interrupted their short-lived excitement. “No. We'll take turns and look after Elsa ourselves. It's best if this stays in the family.”

Doctor and nurse frowned at Kai, not at all pleased to keep stretching the meeting. Gerda, wishing to go back to her daughter’s side as soon as possible, tried to reason with her husband. “They won't let you. They won't let any of you stay longer than an hour or two. We need someone who has had medical training.”

“He helped us the night Elsa's sepsis showed its first symptoms,” Nielsen said, convinced Marshall was their best choice. “He not only knows what to do, he also knows how to deal with Elsa's powers. When her fever broke and her powers went out of control, the man didn’t even flinch.”

“I don't think we should get him involved.”

“Kai, the kid's a paramedic,” Gerda said, exasperated.

“He used to be a paramedic.” Kai tapped the table with his finger emphasising the past tense. “Nielsen,” he then said, hoping the doctor would be the first to agree with him. “You fired him. You can't honestly think it's a good idea for him to look after Elsa.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Nielsen drew in a deep breath. “Kai, I told you the other night, I only fired him because I had to. He made a mistake.”

“He beat up a guy until he was unconscious. That's hardly a mistake.”

Anna couldn’t stop herself from flinching. The conversation had steered in a way she wasn’t expecting, and it made her wonder if she had done the right thing suggesting Marshall’s name.

“He was ordered to do community service and anger management therapy. He served his time and attended therapy.” Nielsen explained. “What else do you want the man to do?”

“If he had done as he was told, the hospital would’ve reincorporated him. I know the drill.”

“I called Hålkesen myself when we got his therapist’s report stating he was clear to go back to work. He’s the one who denied the offer. He was moving back to the mountain and didn't want to work as a paramedic anymore.”

Anna could see Nielsen was not at all comfortable divulging Marshall’s private affairs, and it helped her feel better. It was obvious he knew exactly what had happened and still thought Marshall was a good option.

“I don't want him near my daughter.”

“Well, I do.” Gerda said, crossing her arms.

“Gerda, please,” Kai begged. “See reason.”

Gerda stayed quiet, not giving in. The couple’s disagreement was getting on Nielsen’s nerves and so he took the initiative, turning to the rest of the people on the table. “The rest of you, what do you think?”

Anna looked around, hoping to hear Kristoff’s opinion on the matter. He was the only one there who had seen Marshall’s reaction a few hours before and his opinion was the one that truly mattered to Anna. The last thing she wanted was to make a grave mistake. She waited for him to speak, but he still kept his eyes fixed on the wooden table. She turned to her father, and even though he seemed to have an opinion he was keeping to himself.

Knowing the two of them wouldn’t break the silence, Anna finally said, “I suggested his name so…”

“Son?” Kai called Kristoff’s name, hopeful he’d agree with him.

Kristoff raised his head, looking back at his father for a brief moment. He then looked down again, playing with a paper napkin, taking his time before he answered, “Elsa rarely talks about the things she’s gone through. She seldom speaks about her fears. But even though she tries to hide it, I know she’s terrified of ending up alone. Being left behind…” Taking a deep breath, he found his father’s eyes once more. “Look around, Kai. We are all the people she has. If she were to lose us, there's no-one left. Not even your family was willing to give her a chance.”

“What does it have to do with anything?”

Anna had a deep respect and admiration for her father-in-law; at times, however, she considered his overly formal demeanour exasperating. Kristoff, on the other hand, was used to it. He didn’t lose his patience nor yelled at his father to understand what he was trying to say. He simply sighed once again and explained, “We have no right to forbid Marshall from seeing her. Especially now that he can help us.”

“Kristoff—”

“He knows about her powers,” he began to explain, counting with his fingers every reason they had to choose the mountaineer. “He's willing to help. Mum and Nielsen trust him. Anna and I know he won’t leave her alone… What else do you want?”

Kai opened his mouth to counter his son’s reasoning. Anna swore she could see the gears turning in head, wishing to find a logical reason to keep Marshall away from Elsa, but after a few seconds he pursed his lips and stayed silent.

“So, it's settled. Marshall will look after her during the night, giving Gerda enough time to rest.” Nielsen said after Kai went silent.

“There’s just one thing,” Kristoff said, calling the doctor’s attention. “I wouldn't tell him about Haugen’s threat.”

“He needs to keep a close eye on Elsa's health.”

“I know,” Kristoff nodded. “But I also know he’d go after Haugen if he finds out.”

“So you agree with me,” Kai interrupted. “He's unhinged.”

That last comment seemed to set Kristoff off and another argument erupted between the Bjorgman family. Gerda and Kristoff both stated their point of views against Kai while Nielsen scrubbed his face with his hands. At some point, Agdar leaned closer to Anna, asking if Marshall was the hooligan who had stopped by their house a couple of months before. Something about her father’s question, as well as the argument, was Anna’s last straw. Before she could stop herself, she raised her voice, stopping the argument and surprising her father.

“We can’t go on like this,” she said in a lower tone when everyone was paying attention to her. “If I had known I would only drag this meeting longer than necessary instead of offering a solution, I would have never said Marshall’s name. It’s just— I’ve seen how much he cares. He’s been coming here every day. All he’s been asking for is to see her. He wants to help and get the chance to say goodbye in case she doesn’t make it… For some reason I don’t understand we won’t let him in, and we won’t use the limited time we have to stay by Elsa’s side. Instead, we’re here, arguing and fighting.” She stopped to dry a couple of tears and gather herself. “I’ll go back to the hospital. I know where to find Marshall in case you make up your mind.”

Standing up abruptly, Anna didn’t wait for an answer, she simply left the café. Walking fast to the hospital, she wished visiting hours weren’t over. At least get to see Elsa for a few minutes. Tell her she was loved and let her know they were all there for her. Perhaps she could tell her why Marshall hadn’t visited. No matter how afraid she was, no matter what the rest of the people said, she wouldn’t give up on her sister, but she wouldn’t miss the few chances she had to see her and talk to her.

She didn’t get to do those things, however. She was waiting for Andrea to allow her into the wards when Kristoff called her name. He had run after her as soon as Kai was outvoted, leaving the rest of the family to deal with the aftermath and pay the check. He explained they needed to find Marshall. Nielsen would have all the paperwork ready by the time he showed up. The doctor wished to meet Marshall a few minutes before eight, when the nurses changed shifts, and this time Gerda, would change shifts.

Getting out of the car, Anna looked up at the tall brick building in front of her and breathed out nervously. She didn’t regret telling Kristoff to stay at the hospital, she wanted one of them to spend some time with Elsa after all, but she couldn’t deny how anxious she was about talking to Marshall so soon after their heated argument. She was certain he wouldn’t mind her visit, given the news she was about to give him. She could only hope he’d give her the chance to speak, though, before he slammed the door on her face.

She stood by the main door and examined the rows of buzzers, wondering if Marshall had ever mentioned which apartment his mother lived in. Nothing came to mind, so she took a guess and pressed one of the buttons at random. As soon as she did, she realised she had no idea what Marshall’s mother was called and she felt stupid for not thinking about her approach more carefully. She had limited time to find Marshall and convince him to help them — though she was certain the latter wouldn’t be an issue —, but still she wondered if there wasn’t a faster way than buzzing apartments at random until she found the woman she was looking for.

Before a better idea came to mind, an old man spoke through the buzzer. Trying her luck, she briefly explained she needed help finding Marshall Hålkesen and that his mother lived in the building. The first two men said they couldn’t help her. On the third try, however, a young woman recognised the surname and informed her there was a woman named Hålkesen living on the seventh floor. With a smile, Anna thanked the woman and soon after buzzed apartment 7A, B and C.

Once again, the third was the charm and the woman in apartment 7C told Anna she was Marshall’s mother. Surprised her flimsy plan had worked, Anna took a moment to come up with something coherent to say. “Hello, hi,” she said, again, buying herself some time to think her words carefully. “I'm sorry to bother you. My name’s Anna. I know you don't know me but I— I’m looking for Marshall. I was wondering, has he gone back to the North mountain? Or is he still in town? I need to contact him. Urgently. It’s about his friend. Elsa.”

“Oh, Lord. Umm…”

Anna could hear the hesitation in the woman’s voice, making it clear she knew exactly who Elsa was.

“I’m buzzing you in.”

Anna was surprised at the woman’s trusting attitude. She was more than aware her voice didn’t sound threatening over the speaker; but still, it seemed strange for the woman to allow her into the building so easily. Anna thanked her when the door opened and she double-checked the apartment number before going in.

She didn’t think much of the lack of a lift in the building at first. The building was old and clearly built before lifts became mandatory in taller buildings. After getting to the fifth floor, however, she began to feel sorry for the woman she had just spoken to. Living on a seventh floor and having to climb a mouldy staircase every single time she got home was something Anna hoped she didn’t need to do at an older age. She could understand why Marshall’s mother would have chosen the city instead of the wilderness to live, though there wasn’t much of a difference between the mountain and climbing that particular set of stairs.

Anna could have sworn the air got thinner as she made it to the woman’s apartment, and she made a mental note to start training alongside Elsa and Marshall once her sister made a recovery. ‘If she makes a recovery,’ her mind was quick to correct and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

Shaking off the awful feeling, she knocked on the door and hoped the woman would be kind enough to offer Marshall’s phone number. Nielsen had made it clear he needed him at the hospital by eight, and it was already five past seven. She wouldn’t have the time to drive all the way to the mountain, find his cottage, and much less travel all the way back in less than an hour. The door opened after a short moment, and Anna was nonplussed at the tall and thin brunette who was standing on the other side. The kind, grey eyes looking back at her were exactly like Marshall’s, making Anna wonder if perhaps he had a much older sister.

Taking a step back, Anna checked the plate on the wall, making sure the apartment was in fact correct and this made the woman smile. “You must be the girl looking for Marshall. I’m Lena, his mother.”

Anna blinked a few times, wondering if she had heard correctly. As far as she knew, the mountaineer was at least four years older than Elsa, the reason why Anna was expecting someone older. Not someone who seemed to be around her mother’s age — if not younger. Anna blushed when she realised she had stayed quiet and, feeling silly for staring in an awkwardly obvious way, she apologised. “Yes, sorry. I was expecting someone old— I mean… I’m Anna.” She extended her hand, hoping the woman wouldn’t take offence and wished the day would come when she learnt to keep her big stupid mouth shut.

A sweet smile drew on Lena’s face as she shook Anna’s hand. “Would you like to come in?”

Anna smiled back, thankful for Lena’s hospitality. She nodded and was about to step into the apartment, when a hand grabbed the door forcefully, moving Lena out of the way and stopping Anna in her tracks.

Marshall stood in front of Anna, looking taller than he had before. “What are you doing here?” Marshall said in an almost intimidating voice.

“Marshall!” Lena berated him, but Marshall ignored her.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Please. Be decent, Marshall.”

Anna glanced at Lena for a short moment, and then at Marshall who was towering over her. She had already forgotten how unnerving he could be when he wanted to. Taking a deep breath, Anna decided to ignore his hostile attitude, knowing well why he was acting like that. She was certain he’d drop the facade once he knew what she was about to tell him.

Not wanting him to think he could intimidate her, Anna crossed her arms over her chest and spoke in a low voice, using a serious tone to mask her nervousness. “I need to talk. It’s important.”

Marshall misunderstood her seriousness for sadness and his face crumbled. His frown was suddenly replaced by desperate eyes. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat before he spoke. “Is Elsa—?”

Realisation dawned on Anna, and she stopped him before he could say another word. “Oh, God, no! She’s okay. She’s fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to— I’m sorry.”

Scrubbing his good hand over his face, he took a deep breath before he spoke again. “Don’t ever do that again, Anna, please.”

The corner of Anna’s mouth turned up slightly, as she saw his mask beginning to break. Perhaps he was still mad at her and her family, but deep down Anna could see the kindhearted man Elsa insisted he was. “Do you have a minute? I really need to speak to you.”

He let go of his face, looked her in the eyes and nodded.

Anna waited for him to move before she did or said anything. The two of them stayed where they were for a minute before Marshall raised an eyebrow as if he was expecting her to do something as well. “So?”

“I thought you were going to invite me in.”

Marshall blinked a couple of times and looked over his shoulder for a brief moment, trying to understand what she meant. “Why? We can speak here.”

“Marshall, let the girl inside, for goodness’ sake.” Lena’s voice could be heard from inside, making Anna smile again. The woman hadn't left her son's side, silently making sure he didn’t do or said something out of place. Anna could tell she was used to her son's brusqueness.

Marshall met his mother's eyes for a short moment. Soon after, he sighed and moved out of the way. “Come in.”

Anna rejoiced, glad he was willing to change his mind and talk to her. Sure, his mother was breathing down his neck, but the fact he was allowing her into the flat meant there were no hard feelings, or so she hoped.

As soon as Marshall closed the door, Lena smacked him on the back of his head, reprimanding him. The soft slap and Marshall’s flush raising to his cheeks didn’t fail to make Anna chuckle. Lena turned to her then, promptly apologising for her son's behaviour. Anna dismissed it, taking half the blame and explaining they had had a small quarrel earlier that day.

“It doesn't matter,” Lena said, crossing her arms. “He should know better.”

“Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Marsh’s friends are welcome anytime. Despite what he makes them think.” The woman turned around to look at her son, calling his attention. “Well, won’t you introduce us?”

Marshall sighed, clearly annoyed at the situation. Small talk had never been his strong suit and both women knew it. He scratched his neck and avoiding his mother’s gaze he said, “Anna is Elsa’s sister.”

“Oh…” Lena’s soft smile turned upside down. “I’m so sorry about your sister,” she said to Anna. “I haven’t really met Elsa, but Marsh has spoken so much about her that I—

“You said you needed to talk,” Marshall said suddenly, interrupting his mother.

Anna smiled knowing whatever Lena was about to say would probably embarrass him to no end. It was best to take pity on him and help him out of the awkward conversation. “Yes, I do.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Lena said, understanding why he was so desperate to change the topic.

Waiting until his mother was out of the room to start talking, Anna took a moment to look around. They were in a small living room, not bigger than Kristoff’s. There was a battered couch on the left side of the room. Bed sheets were wrinkled on top and an old pillow laid on the floor next to it. Anna felt a pang of pain and guilt at the scene, it was clear Marshall hadn't gone back to the mountain as he claimed. Instead, he had been staying on a small couch for over a week, waiting for something to happen… Trying not to think too much about what it was, Anna turned to him and in an attempt to raise the mood she joked, “Your mother seems nice. She must be proud of her charming son.”

The remark would’ve made Marshall smile at another time, but he ignored it. Too tired and annoyed to deal with anything. “What do you want?”

Anna sighed. She had to admit she was nervous about meeting Marshall at first, but now she was more concerned about his answer. She had been certain he would agree when she said his name at the meeting. Though now that she was standing right in front of him, seeing how utterly burnt out he was, she wondered what they’d do if he said no. One thing was to visit Elsa for a couple of minutes, another entirely was to stay by her side during the night, keeping an eye on everything that was going on around her.

“May I sit down?” she asked.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stood tall, a clear indication his patience was wearing thin. “Stop beating around the bush, tell me what you want.”

Knowing there weren’t many ways to ask, Anna decided to simply state what they needed. “We need you to look after Elsa.”

“Look after her?”

She nodded. “Through the night, if possible.”

He stayed silent, his eyes fixed on Anna’s as if he was trying to read something behind them. “Anna, if you're messing with me—”

“I wouldn't do something like that,” she knew he had a reason to be wary after a week of people denying him the chance to see her, but Anna took offence nonetheless. “Look, you may think I don't understand the way you feel, but I do. Even though I didn’t enjoy it, I see why you chose to be an arse to me today.”

“I was hardly being an arse,” he murmured, avoiding her gaze.

Anna wanted to smack him on the head. “We both want what's best for Elsa. So, trust me when I say we need your help.”

“Did something happen?”

“It's a long story. You should discuss it with Kai or Nielsen, not me.”

Marshal scoffed. “You say, ‘discuss it with Kai’ as if the man didn't hate my guts.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He doesn't hate you.”

“You're right,” he agreed with a fake smile. “He just doesn't trust me and he wants me as far away from Elsa as possible. My mistake.”

“We discussed who could help us, and we all agree you're the best person to look after her.”

He raised an eyebrow, suspicious about her claim.

“Okay, maybe Kai was outvoted,” she finally admitted. “But Nielsen trusts you. So does Gerda.”

Marshall stayed quiet after that, a pensive look on his face, Anna didn’t quite like. She wasn’t sure what they’d do if he refused and so she tried to convince him. “Elsa needs you.”

Taking a step closer, Marshall leaned down so he was face to face with Anna. “If Kai or anyone tries to kick me out, you’ll be the one dealing with them.”

“I promise.”

“I’m not leaving the hospital until I get to see her, clear?”

Anna breathed out in relief and nodded several times before she took a step forward. Taking advantage of their closeness, she wrapped her arms around him.

Marshall froze, unsure of what to do at first. It was only when he realised Anna was not letting go, that he hugged her back. Anna could feel his arms shaking slightly until they tightened around her and he muttered a soft thank you.

Perhaps he was a little unstable, Anna wouldn’t argue about that. But she was certain he was exactly the kind of person they needed. Strong and savage enough to fight anyone who dared lay a hand on Elsa, but sweet and gentle to care for her the way her sister deserved.

He was the first to let go, claiming he needed to take a quick shower before he left. Looking at the clock on the wall, Anna offered to wait for him. They’d arrive together and wouldn’t keep Nielsen waiting that way.

Marshall nodded and before she knew it, Anna found herself alone in the living room, unsure of what to do while she waited. She contemplated sitting for a moment, but the couch was clearly Marshall’s makeshift bed. She looked around once again and noticed a small table on a corner. The picture frames on it, calling her attention. It felt strange to be intruding into Marshall’s life, but she couldn’t stop her curious side. Even when she knew Marshall didn’t live in the city anymore, she felt drawn to the life he had once had. She wondered if he had been living in that very flat when the incident Kai and Nielsen had been discussing happened.

Absent-mindedly, Anna picked a photo frame from the table, her mind drifting back to the conversation. She couldn’t help but wonder what had driven Marshall, who seemed so uncharacteristically happy holding his degree in the photo, to do something like beating a man unconscious while he was on duty. One thing was to say he’d kick Hans’ butt for getting him fired, another entirely different was to lose his job because someone crossed him.

Too absorbed in her own thoughts, Anna didn’t hear Lena approaching. Only realising she had company when the woman spoke at her back.

“Thankyou,” Lena said, startling her.

“Oh, gosh!” Anna said, pushing the photo frame away from her and leaving it on the table, almost sending the rest of the pictures to the floor. If the woman hadn’t thought her behaviour was strange before, she surely did now. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you coming.”

Lena chuckled and offered her a glass of water, which Anna gladly accepted. She gulped half the glass, hoping the cold water would help her face return to a more normal colour. To her relief it did help and it was only when she was giving the glass back that she realised what Lena had said. “Wait, you said… thank you?”

Lena nodded with a smile. “I know I shouldn't have been eavesdropping.” A faint rose tinting her cheeks. “My husband hates it. It's just… I worry about him.”

“About your husband?”

Lena laughed again. “Marshall,” she clarified, holding the glass tightly with both hands. “Marsh's been worried sick about your sister. He’s been here, doing absolutely nothing else than sleeping and worrying. Only leaving the house to go see her…”

“And I guess he was never in a good mood when he returned,” Anna guessed and Lena didn’t need to answer for her to know that was the case. She had seen him leave the hospital in low spirits almost every day.

Lena nodded, pressing her lips in a thin line. “I was afraid he’d have a relapse, he was starting to behave like a caged animal.”

Opening her eyes in surprise, Anna couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Relapse?”

Looking over her shoulder, Lena checked the door leading to rooms and bathroom was still closed before she explained in a lower voice, “His explosive disorder has been in remission. He’s improved so much over the last couple of years. I know living in the mountains once again, as well as spending time with Elsa has got a lot to do with it…”

“I had no idea,” Anna admitted, even though Marshall’s behaviour began to make a lot more sense now.

Anna thought back to all the times he had said or done things impulsively. His outbursts, the blind rage… and most importantly the regret as soon as he realised the way he was behaving. It all made sense if she put it together. She had seen shame and guilt written on his face the day Elsa called him a brute.

“Being able to see her might help him deal with this a lot better,” Lena explained. “So, thank you.”

“He will be one helping us…”

Before both women could say or ask anything else, the door opened and Marshall came out wearing cleaner and slightly more formal clothes.

“Let's go,” he said, unaware of their conversation.

Anna looked at him and nodded, unsure of what else to say.

Standing right outside her daughter’s room, Gerda stayed quiet watching Nielsen give Marshall all the necessary instructions for the night. Most of them were obvious orders, repetitive even, but the doctor didn’t want to leave anything to chance. More than once he stated the importance of keeping a close eye on the medical team and their work, and even though Marshall seemed curious about it, he didn’t ask why. He simply nodded at every order, as if he was once again working for the man. From time to time, Gerda noticed he’d glance to the side, hoping to get a glimpse of Elsa through the door, but he stayed firm throughout the conversation.

As soon as things were clear, he entered the room, closing the door and leaving Gerda and Nielsen on their own. Nielsen didn’t hesitate to leave. Gerda, on the other hand, found herself having a hard time following him down the hall. The idea of leaving Elsa for over ten hours was abominable. She felt as if she was betraying Elsa’s trust. Abandoning her.

“Gerda,” Nielsen called her name and she nodded, knowing it was a matter of time until someone came to walk her out of the ICU.

She looked over the small window on the door, hoping to see her daughter once more before she left. What she saw then offered Gerda some comfort, transforming the unbearable pain in her chest into a dull ache she’d be able to tolerate during the night.

Marshall was sitting by Elsa’s side, where Gerda always sat, his hand holding her daughter’s tightly. She could see his eyes fixed on Elsa and his mouth moving, talking more than she had seen him talk in the last twenty minutes.

“Gerda, you need to go home.” Nielsen approached her, not wanting to disturb the patients in the other rooms. Jonnas then looked over the window, following Gerda's gaze. A small smile drew on his face. “She’s in good company.”

“I know,” Gerda said. Tearing her eyes away, she began walking. It was best to leave now that she had found the strength to do so.

They both walked in silence out of the ICU and down the hall. There wasn’t much to say between them after spending so many hours together. But, to Gerda’s surprise, Nielsen did stop her to talk before they walked out into the main waiting room where the rest of the family was waiting.

“The Arendelles are Elsa's biological family,” he said, suddenly, not thinking twice about her feelings on the matter.

She nodded, unsure if there was a justified reason to bring that hurtful detail to light.

“I’d like to ask for their medical records. See what we find.”

“They’re completely ordinary people,” Gerda said with a shrug. She saw no reason in digging up their past when they both knew Weselton was the only one responsible for Elsa’s condition. She then walked to the door, hoping to end their conversation.

Nielsen sighed, knowing there wasn’t much he could say to Gerda about that topic. He stopped her once again, however, concerned about a particular issue. “Did Elsa seek help?”

“What?” she asked, letting go of the glass door and turning back to him.

“Has she seen a therapist?”

Averting her eyes, Gerda avoided his scrutiny. “You know Elsa doesn't feel comfortable around strangers.”

“Did you sit down to talk to her about it?”

“Of course I talked to her,” Gerda scoffed. “Do you really think—?”

“About getting professional help, Gerda. Have you talked to her about it?”

“Oh…” Looking down in shame, she shook her head.

“Why not?”

“Nielsen, can’t we discuss this at another time?”

“This is important. Elsa needs help.” It was clear he was talking to her as a friend, not a colleague or Elsa’s doctor anymore. “Why didn't you sit her down to talk about this?”

She scrubbed her eyes, hoping to get rid of the headache that had been tormenting her for days. “We’ve been trying. It’s just so difficult. She's been through so much, I didn’t want to insist on it.”

“I know I’ve suggested you should give her time on these matters but—” Nielsen knew he was in part to blame for it, and he wouldn’t deny it. “Meeting her parents, finding out she’s got a sister… It must have been a terrible blow.”

Finally daring to look at him, Gerda allowed her friend to see how worried she was. “She’s miserable. She’s been trying—” Taking in a deep trembling breath, she admitted, “I’m so afraid of what’s to come…”

“She’ll need all the help she can find,” Nielsen agreed. “Perfectly healthy people struggle with the side effects of sepsis. Their physical and mental health deteriorates significantly. Muscle weakness, pain, insomnia… depression.”

Gerda nodded. She knew exactly what Jonnas was trying to tell her. Perhaps forcing her to get some sleep was his way of telling her she’d need her strength in the upcoming weeks.

There it was again.

The beep.

The extremely annoying beep that wouldn't let her sleep.

She was so tired. Exhausted. And that incessant beep wouldn't stop. It never stopped. She was convinced things would get better when it did, but for some reason, it kept beeping. Didn’t it bother anyone else?

In the rare moments of calmness, however, when her mind finally drifted off and she stopped hearing it, the silence made the excruciating darkness all consuming. Frightening.

She had woken up suddenly, paralysed by the fear of a nightmare she couldn’t remember. Or so she believed. It was dark, after all. Too dark. She might as well still be asleep for all she knew, the darkness being part of just another dream.

She wished she could drift into unconsciousness.

For some reason she couldn’t explain, she kept hearing voices alongside the beep. She wasn’t sure they were part of her dreams anymore, but they helped. They chased the nightmares away.

More often than not, there was a warm, soothing feeling accompanying them. It would come and go, just like the voices, but it would never stay long enough for Elsa to enjoy its comfort.

She wished the voice would stay this time.

A/N -

I've had this chapter “almost ready” for a week and a half now. You have no idea how exasperating it is to know you’re almost ready, and have no time to sit down and actually work on it. Every day I had some free time, I thought to myself, “I'm finishing the chapter today” only for things to happen. In my defence, I'm building my home and that takes a lot of time from my hands when I’m off work. Well, I'm not literally building it. Just doing things myself here and there to save money before competent people come and build the rest. This past week I've been installing electrical conduits in the walls before the builders come to plaster the apartment. Good thing my old man was an electrician. He tells me what to do, I learn, get things done and I save money in the process.

Anyway, enough about my excuses. Let's talk business!

You may have noticed this chapter is a bit long, that's because the characters had things to say to one another and they wouldn't let me stop them. You wouldn't believe the amount of things I cut out this time. Everyone wanted to argue and I couldn't keep them on the right track for more than two paragraphs. Lena showed up as well. It was a mess. The original title wasn’t even Armistice, I think I changed it after I realised I needed a truce between everybody involved to be able to advance with the story.

I think that in the end I was able to stop the nonsense and I'm quite satisfied with the final product, even if it’s a bit longer than planned. I've been trying to keep word count to a minimum, so as not to make this story unbearably longer, but as you can see I keep failing miserably.

I hope you enjoy the chapter nonetheless. I hope it’s not too long. I’ll try to move things forward in the following chapters. And before you ask, no I haven’t forgotten about the unfair way Agdar treated Elsa the last time they met. That’s all planned out and I hope it will come to light soon. Not next-chapter soon, but soon enough.

I’m rambling.

Anyway, enjoy!

- Tag time:

@swimmingnewsie @melody-fox @kristoffxannafanatic @kristannafictionals @neptrabbit @skneez @ellacarter13 @wondering-in-life @who-i-am-8 @fanfictionrecommendations-com @815-allisnotlost @khartxo @joannevixxon @betweenthedreams @burbobah @rileysfs @earlvessalius @blood-jewel @snowycrocus @the-sky-is-awake @disneyfan103 @anamaria8garcia @welovefrozenfanfiction @bigfrozenfan @bigfrozenfan-archive @frozenartscapes @deisymendoza @zackhaikal123 @cornstarch @roostercrowedatmidnight @showurselfelsa @when-dawn-arrives @tare-disney @wabitham @just-your-local-history-nerd @dontrunintofirexoxo @daphmckinnon @poketin @luna-and-mars @shimmeringsunsets @aries1708 @wabitham @agentphilindaisy @spkfrozenkindikids123 @jimmi-arts @snowmanmelting @loonysama @hiptoff @loonysama @tare-disney @frozenwolftemplar @true–north @holycolordreamertree @bigfrozensix

#Søsken #Sosken #Elsa #Anna #Kristoff #Gerda #Kai #Iduna #Agnarr #Chapter 50 #50 wow #This story was supposed to be 20 chapters long #I don't know how to count #kristanna #frohana #Found family #frozen fanfiction #frozen fanfic

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joelscruff · 1 year

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one thing i'm missing (joel miller x reader) PART FOUR

okay wow, so since the last chapter i've somehow hit 200 followers and have received so much lovely praise for this fic ;-; you guys have no idea how much i appreciate it. life has not been going great for me lately and having this outlet + such a great response has been such a bright light for me. i can't thank you all enough. i'm estimating that this fic will probably end up being six parts total, so look forward to those! i'm also open to writing requests & suggestions for other fics so feel free to send me an ask anytime! without further ado, here's part four :) PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | ao3 summary: you and joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming. rating: 18+ explicit (mdni) warnings: (for this chapter) smut, age difference (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 50s), praise kink, (slight) dirty talk, grinding, handjobs, fingering word count: about 6.5k (yup)

You awoke in the early hours of the morning and slowly opened your eyes, hints of sunrise trickling through the cabin window and illuminating the dust that danced around the room. It took a few seconds to reconnect yourself to the new location, your gaze shifting to the chair in the corner of the room that still held yours and Joel's coats. Your lips parted in a breathless realization, the memory of last night flooding into your mind.

“I've got you,” he'd murmured, “Keep goin', don't think about it.”

You stared at the coats, heart racing as you remembered the way he'd held you so close to him while you came completely undone, helped you rut against him until you got what you needed, til he gave you what you needed. The way he'd groaned in your ear when you brushed against his groin, whispered “good girl” to you like it was a secret.

You swallowed, feeling the familiar throb in your underwear, recalling the thick strength of his thigh between your legs...

A rustle of movement behind you brought you back to the current moment, and you finally registered that Joel was still in bed with you, spooning you from behind again, arms wound comfortably around your torso. You couldn't help but smile and without any hesitation you shuffled back further into his embrace, tilting your head back slightly so he was nosing your hair.

You heard him hum softly, arms tightening around you. You looked down and felt your skin get hot when you saw how large his hands were, one placed atop your belly while the other had snaked its way up to your sternum, almost between your breasts. He was so strong but he held you so tenderly, forearms freckled with nicks and cuts that made your heart ache; you wanted to kiss every single one.

“You awake?” you whispered, not too loud in case he was still sleeping.

He gave you an affirming grunt but didn't actually say anything, the tip of his nose tickling the back of your neck. You shivered and leaned back even further so his body was fully enveloping yours, savouring the moments before he was fully awake and would inevitably pull himself away from you. You felt something prod at your lower back and you froze, breath hitching.

Guiltily you remembered falling asleep ridiculously quickly the night before without helping him find his own release, meaning he must have fallen asleep absolutely aching. You'd felt how hard he was while you were on top of him; it must have been torture for him to watch you have the best orgasm of your life and then pass out without so much as a thank you. That torture was seemingly still ongoing, the shape of him firm and stiff against the swell of your ass.

Well, it wasn't too late to thank him now.

Hesitating for barely a moment, you began to rotate your hips, slow and steady, pushing back against the hard feeling of him through his jeans. You felt his arms suddenly stiffen around you, brow furrowing against the back of your neck.

“What are you doin'?” he murmured.

“Nothing,” you pushed back even further, feeling the unmistakable pulse of arousal in your own jeans at the sound of his voice.

He was definitely fully awake now, and as he went to move his arms you reached up to hold them back in place, hands atop his own.

“You don't have to-”

“Shhh,” you ground yourself against him a bit harder and you felt him gasp, breath warm against your skin, “I want to.”

It didn't take much for him to surrender completely to the feeling of you being so close to him, inhaling and exhaling unevenly in your ear as you continued to rub your ass against his groin. Your hands loosened on top of his and he took the opportunity to move the one that was on your belly and carefully slide it inside the confines of your shirt, palming the skin there. You whimpered at the contact, grinding yourself even harder against him.

The silence of the cabin, the stillness of the air outside in the early morning light, it gave you that peculiar feeling of being somehow present in the world but also not. It was so easy to pretend when you were alone with him, so easy to feel like you were both the only souls to exist on this post-apocalyptic plane of America, of planet Earth. The only sounds in the entire world were the hitches of breath, the soft whispers, the quiet moans and whimpers that the two of you made together, melting into one.

“Feels so good,” he whispered breathlessly in your ear, nuzzling his face against your cheek. Without needing to ask, you reached blindly behind you for his belt buckle, pulling at the cold square of metal.

“Take this off,” you breathed, stilling your hips momentarily, and he removed his hand from your sternum to reach down and start to undo it, brushing against your fingers with every motion. When he'd pulled the leather from the straps you helped him to yank the long strip of material out from underneath the both of you, tossing it to the floor. You felt him pop the button on his jeans and your hand began to shake on it's own accord as you reached for his zipper.

He stopped you, enveloping your hand in his before you could tug it down, “You sure?” he asked softly, “We can stop-”

You suddenly flipped over so you were facing him, and your heart stuttered when you saw the look on his face; he was wrecked, eyes dark and blown wide, forehead tinged with sweat, splotches of red blooming along his neck and collarbone. It had been so dark last night, you hadn't been able to see what Joel looked like when he was turned on. Now as you looked at him and saw the desire in his eyes, the bob of his Adam's apple as he gazed back at you and swallowed, the way his chest rose and fell with every heavy breath, you felt any and all hesitation leave your body. You gripped his zipper with your thumb and forefinger and slowly began to pull it down, the room still quiet save for the sharp sound of metal coming undone in your fingers – it was practically pornographic. He kept his eyes on you, lips parted as he tried to get his breathing under control.

His underwear became exposed, framing the long and thick curve of him perfectly. You heard his breath hitch when your knuckles brushed lightly against him as you finished with the zipper, and your eyes snapped back up to find his again. He was still staring at you, watching your expression, gauging your reaction. Without breaking eye contact you moved your hand up to cup him gently, palming his girth and feeling your face get hot when you realized your fingers wouldn't even go all the way around him.

“Oh wow,” you whispered, voice squeaking a little bit as you stroked him once through his underwear, “You're big.”

He groaned in response, closing his eyes finally and throwing his head back against the pillows. You couldn't help but laugh breathlessly, fingers trembling a little bit in anticipation, “Can I take it out?”

He physically shuddered at your words, jaw tightening as he brought his hands up to his face. He pressed his palms against his eyes, inhaling deeply, “Yeah,” he replied, voice shaky, “But I won't last long.”

“That's okay,” you whispered, reaching for the band of his underwear.

BANG.

Your heads snapped up immediately, both of you freezing as you stared at the closed bedroom door in confusion.

“Joel, you in this one?” Ellie called out from the opposite side.

You both flung yourselves away from each other like you'd been electrocuted, toppling out of the bed like you were in a Saturday morning cartoon. Joel yanked the zipper of his jeans back up and you threw him his belt, then pulled yourself up from the floor to stand wordlessly across from him. You both stared at each other for a few seconds as he did himself back up, eyes wide in panic.

“Joel?” Ellie called again, followed by your name, “Anybody in here?”

“Gimme a sec,” he replied loudly, voice deep and rough, “Gettin' dressed. You alright?”

“Yeah, just wanna go to the springs. I'll wait outside,” she called back, and you heard the front door slam again.

You looked at each other, both still panic-stricken. After a few seconds of shocked silence you reached down and grabbed your pack, throwing it over your shoulder, “You go out front and lead her back toward her cabin, I'll sneak into the one next door.”

“That works” he replied breathlessly, eyes scanning you up and down, “Listen, I'm sorr-”

“No, I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd be up yet,” you tossed him his coat and gestured toward the bedroom door, “Now go, before she gets suspicious.”

With one last parting glance, Joel shrugged his coat on and turned on his heel to leave, shutting the bedroom door behind him and leaving you standing alone. It was only when he was gone that you fully allowed yourself to feel the weight of what you'd almost just done, your hand clenching around nothing as you stood in the centre of the room trying to catch your breath. You'd touched him; you'd basically asked if you could give him a hand job and he'd said yes.

There was no question anymore of whether or not he wanted you, that was for sure. But whether you'd talk about it or he'd broach the subject again was completely up in the air. This thing you shared – whatever it was – you hadn't spoken one word about it to each other. He wanted you, sure, but in what way? Did he just want you to touch him, for you to get him off like he got you off? Or did he feel something deeper for you, something strong and warm like you felt for him? How were you even supposed to figure out what exactly he wanted when you hadn't even had one conversation about what had been going on? You clenched your jaw, shaking your head and inhaling the stale, dusty air; you didn't have time to think about this right now, you had to get yourself into the next cabin without Ellie noticing. The last thing you needed was for her to start asking questions about a relationship you yourself couldn't even define.

You did your best to quietly leave the cabin, slipping stealthily into the one next door when you were sure Joel had led Ellie back up the path. A few minutes later you walked out onto the front porch with heavy footfalls that made them both turn to look, yawning loudly on purpose and waving in their direction.

“Morning, losers!” you called, “Let's go see some hot springs!”

It turned out that in her excitement for the springs Ellie had woken up much earlier than the two of you, which explained her sudden appearance this morning. Out of boredom she'd meticulously organized all the products you'd found the previous day into piles, resulting in each of you now carrying your own personalized bath-care bag as you set out for the springs. You rummaged through yours, smiling at the strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner she'd chosen for you; you'd told her once, maybe about three months back, that you loved strawberries. The fact that she'd remembered made your heart warm. She'd also packed you an unopened women's razor and toothbrush, along with some body wash and a towel.

“You trying to tell me something?” you teased, waving the razor in her face as the three of you walked down the overgrown path to the springs.

She laughed and reached into her own bag, pulling out an identical razor, “Just that I need you to show me how to use this thing. My pits are itchy as fuck.”

Joel chuckled at that, “Try having five times that amount all over you.”

His comment immediately sparked the image of that patch of hair that trailed from his belly to his groin, the hair you'd become very familiar with in the past few hours. You swallowed and adjusted your pack absentmindedly, trying to focus on Ellie's retort.

“You could use a shave, honestly,” she was saying, making a face, “Who knows what's living in all that shit.”

“Oh, ha ha, you're hilarious,” he rolled his eyes and slowed his pace a bit to gesture to his own bag, “If you really thought I needed to shave you would've packed me a razor too.”

“Okay, true,” she conceded, “But that's just because I was scared you'd shave off your beard and I don't want you to. You'd look weird without it.”

“I agree,” you said, probably a bit too quickly, and he turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow, “What? Beards are hot.”

It had slipped out before you could really think about how it would sound, and you saw the flash of something on his face that didn't last long enough to register. It was hard to read the expression that remained but he suddenly turned back around before you could get a good look. You looked at Ellie and she was eyeing you with her own unreadable expression.

“What?” you asked, feeling your cheeks go red, “They are, right?”

She scrunched up her nose in response, “I think I'm the wrong person to ask, sister.”

The springs could not have been more picturesque; there were two of them situated atop a small cliff face that overlooked the forest below, patches of snow covering hints of the rocky terrain. One was large and wide, probably big enough to comfortably fit thirty people, while the other one was more secluded and separated by the tree line for those seeking a more private experience. Without hesitation Ellie sprinted toward the big one and dipped her hand inside, jaw dropping when she felt the undeniable warmth of its depths.

“It's actually like a bath!” she called to you and Joel in delight, “Holy fucking shit!”

Joel turned to you and smiled, eyes reaching yours and capturing your full attention for a few seconds. It was the first time he'd made full eye contact with you since you'd left the cabin, and you felt heat rise in your cheeks at the memory of what had occurred between the two of you in bed, your hand on him and his eyes on you. The way he looked at you now, it was like he was trying to tell you something, but you weren't sure what.

“So how we doin' this?” Ellie interrupted, appearing at your side once more.

“What do you mean?”

“Well if we're actually gonna get clean we're gonna have to take our clothes off,” she made a face at Joel, “And no offence but I really don't want to see you naked.”

“Ellie,” Joel admonished, rolling his eyes, “Obviously you'll both stick to one and I'll stick to the other, which one do you want?”

“Whichever one is more shallow,” she replied immediately.

“Oh shit, right, you can't swim,” Joel's brow furrowed and he looked at you again, “Watch her, make sure she doesn't drown herself.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” you gave him a salute and he made an exasperated face.

“You're both ridiculous.”

Ellie grinned, “Thank you, so are you.”

“I'll test the small one, see how deep it is,” you shrugged off your pack and walked through the line of trees to the more secluded spring, leaving Joel and Ellie to squabble playfully behind you.

This one was definitely more tranquil than the large one, the thick greenery almost entirely muting the sound of Ellie bothering Joel beyond the treeline. The water was clear and still, a hint of steam rising like a halo above it. Anticipation of the promised warmth overtaking you, you kicked off your boots and unbuttoned your jeans, pulling them off and wincing at the sting of cold air that hit your skin. You climbed into the water without much hesitation and sighed deeply in satisfaction at the way the warm liquid lapped against your bare legs.

You took a few steps until you were almost to the centre of the spring, then had no choice but to lift up your shirt as the water became level with your abdomen. You kept your bra on, reminding yourself that as much as you wanted to just completely engulf yourself in the water with no inhibitions whatsoever, Ellie came first. Your feet still touching the rocky bottom, you reached the centre and grinned: perfectly safe, no drowning risk in water this shallow.

“We'll use this one, Ellie!” you called through the trees, not wanting to extricate yourself from the water now that you were used to the heat. No one responded and you huffed to yourself, cupping your hands around your mouth, “Come use this one!”

The shuffle of boots and rattling of gear broke the quietness of the clearing and you froze when you saw both Ellie and Joel appear, the latter stopping completely in his tracks when he saw you standing in the middle of the spring wearing nothing but your bra and underwear, t-shirt hanging from the back of your neck. Your eyes locked onto his, lips parting in surprise. You hadn't expected him to come with her.

“Awesome!” Ellie was already unzipping her coat and throwing it to the ground, reaching for her boots, “Joel, leave, I wanna get in.”

She seemed completely unaware of his genuine shock behind her, still standing there looking at you with wide eyes. Unconsciously you felt your mouth close and your lips turn up into a smile, not breaking eye contact as you continued to stand there with your bra completely on display. It's not like it was anything special, just a basic white sports bra that had gradually yellowed a bit over time, but you doubted Joel had seen a woman this bare in months, not since Tess. You watched as his gaze shifted from your eyes to your breasts and back to your eyes again, like he was self conscious about what he saw there.

You looked down at your chest and you felt your heart stutter a bit when you noticed that your bra had gotten slightly wet, your nipples peeking through the semi-transparent fabric. So that's what was making him so flustered. You looked up at him again and smiled wider, sheepishly, flirtatiously. His face had turned bright red.

“Joel,” Ellie finally turned to look at him, sounding exasperated as she finished untying her laces, “Leave.”

His eyes broke away from you and he cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding to Ellie and taking a few steps back, “Yeah, sorry. I'll uh- I'll be in the other one.”

You watched him go, unable to stop smiling as he tripped a bit in his rush to clear the area. You couldn't get over the fact that it was you that had him all hot and bothered, his hard exterior cracking away more and more the longer you allowed yourself to be close to him. Maybe he held the cards when it came to the definition of your relationship, but when it came to sex... yeah, you definitely had the power.

The spring was heaven; you hadn't bathed in hot water since you were back at Tommy's, and even then you'd only been able to take a quick shower. Now you revelled in the feeling of getting clean, the smoothness of your skin after you took the razor to the hair that had been slowly getting thicker around your ankles, the silkiness of your scalp after you'd masked it in conditioner. After showing Ellie how to use her razor you'd both turned away from each other, sitting on opposite sides of the spring to fully unclothe yourselves and bask in the luxuriousness, pretending you were both completely alone. The only sounds filling the clearing were the occasional splash of water and the birds chirping throughout the trees, calm and welcoming.

After a long period without conversation, Ellie spoke, “So you and Joel, huh.”

You froze, “Um, what?”

You could practically hear her roll her eyes, “I'm not an idiot. I see how he looks at you.”

Despite being shocked by her apparent knowledge of the situation, your heart skipped a beat at her comment, “H-how does he look at me?”

“Like he wants to jump your bones.”

You spluttered a bit, completely unsure of what to say and hating that you couldn't turn around to face her. Instead, you shuffled forward and grabbed the towel she'd packed for you, wrapping it around yourself.

“Put your towel on so we can actually talk properly,” you said, wincing at the squeak in your voice.

“I'm already dressed,” she replied, and you spun around in confusion. She wasn't lying; she was no longer in the spring and had somehow slipped back into her clothes without alerting you. She was sitting against one of the nearby trees, doodling in her journal.

“How long have you just been sitting there?”

“Maybe ten minutes, my skin was getting all wrinkly,” she scrunched up her nose, “It was gross.”

You wrapped the towel firmly around yourself and exited the water, walking around the edge of it barefoot until you reached the place where she sat. You seated yourself on a nearby rock, wracking your brain for what exactly you were going to say. She just kept doodling, eyes on the paper.

“What are you drawing?” you asked awkwardly.

“Nunya.”

Your brow furrowed, “What?”

“Nunya business,” she looked up at you then with a sly smile and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Okay, book down, we need to talk.”

She sighed but obeyed, closing her journal and turning her full attention to you.

“Me and Joel, we've been.... well, there's something...” you scratched at the back of your neck, “He... him and I, we...”

Ellie made an exasperated sound, “You're together, just say it.”

You winced, “We're not, though. That's the thing. Nothing's actually happened.” It was a lie but you couldn't very well tell a fourteen year old that you'd almost gotten to third base with her pseudo-father this morning.

“But you've like... kissed.”

You looked at her sheepishly, “Uh, no. We haven't kissed.”

She seemed genuinely surprised by that, raising her eyebrows in confusion, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

You sat there for a few seconds in silence, Ellie seemingly lost in thought for a moment before she spoke again.

“But you want to kiss him, right?”

You blushed, “Uh, yeah.”

“So what's stopping you?” her face suddenly became serious, “It's not me, is it? 'Cause I don't care, really. Like yeah it's kinda awkward but that's just because we're all so close to each other all the time, so if you needed me to disappear for a little bit I could. I mean, I've been trying to give you guys your space at night, you know, and-”

You put your hand up, eyes going wide, “Stop. You've been doing what at night?”

She stared at you like it seemed obvious, “I've been sleeping further away from you guys so you could have some time alone together.”

You stared, mouth popping open in disbelief.

“Why else do you think I vetoed the 'let's all stay in one cabin' idea last night?” she picked up her journal again and flipped to a specific page, then began to read aloud: “Sleeping in the cabin with the duck sign tonight. The lovebirds are in the sheep one, I think. Joel is so predictable.” she closed the book again and looked at you with a guilty smile, “I told you, I'm not an idiot.”

You just continued to stare at her, mouth open.

“Come on, it can't be that surprising.”

“Um, yeah,” you finally spoke, leaning back on the rock and throwing your hands up in the air, “We literally thought you were traumatized.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together, “By what?”

“By that...that...” you didn't want to say his name, “That monster. The guy from the resort.”

She nodded slowly, processing your reply, “Him? I mean... yeah, I guess that makes sense,” her brow furrowed, “but honestly, I don't think about him much at all, not unless I have to. He's not worth my time.” She looked at you again with a shrug, “I think I've seen too much shit at this point for anything to actually fuck me up that bad.”

Your expression softened, “Ellie, that's not something to be proud of.”

“I know, but it's helpful.”

You sighed, bringing your hands to your face in defeat, “Joel is gonna kill you, you know. He's been so worried about you, we both have.”

“Eh, he'll be fine. He's about to get a girlfriend, right?” she gave you a shit-eating grin, “Can't stay mad too long when he's gettin' some.”

You made a face and swung your arm at her, slapping her shoulder lightly, “Okay, you're not allowed to say shit like that.”

She rolled her eyes and stood up, tossing her journal back into her pack, “I'm gonna head back to the cabins if that's okay. I'm starving and that Chef Boyardee stuff is calling my name.”

“Okay, just let me get dressed and I'll-”

She put her hand up, “Nope, you're staying here. I saw how much you were enjoying the springs, you should get back in and relax a little while longer.”

You raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean you saw? We've been facing away from each other.”

She stared at you, mouth closing into a firm line as her cheeks began to flush a bright red.

“Ellie, were you drawing me?”

“...I gotta go,” she threw her pack over her shoulder and began to run back down the path, leaving you standing there with your mouth agape, “I'll save some for you!”

“Ellie!” you called after her, “I hope you know we're gonna have to talk about this!”

“Can't hear you!”

“ELLIE!”

“Get back in the water, loser!” was the last thing you heard her say as her footfalls faded into the trees.

Exasperated, you pulled yourself from the rock and dropped your towel, turning around and flopping into the warm water. You weren't even going to bother trying to process that information right now.

Instead you just let the water claim you again, floating on your back and closing your eyes as it rocked you gently back and forth. You basked in the peace for about a minute before you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the brush.

“Ellie, I don't have my towel on,” you warned, rolling over to stand in the water, covering your chest with your hands, “I thought you were-” You froze when you saw who had actually emerged from the treeline.

“I heard yelling,” Joel practically gasped out, standing there completely frozen.

He was wearing absolutely nothing except for his jeans, which he'd seemingly haphazardly yanked on in his efforts to get to you quickly. They weren't buttoned, hanging off his hips loosely and exposing the hair that lay soft against his pubic bone, trailing upwards past his stomach and to his now visible abdomen and chest. His skin was taut, goosebumps tickling his bare flesh from the cold air, his nipples – framed lightly with grey hair – peaked and hard. Your gaze finally reached his face and his eyes had gone dark, lips parted with puffs of hot hair escaping his mouth with every breath. He was staring at you, not even bothering to try and hide the way his eyes fell to your chest, almost like he could see past the hands that cupped your breasts.

“She's gone back to the cabins,” you said quietly, almost too much so that you thought he might not hear you, but he did. He took another step toward you.

“Is she okay?” he practically whispered.

“Yeah, she was just giving me some alone time.”

His eyes trailed slowly down your body to where your skin met the water, where it lapped at your belly, leaving the other part of you that he clearly wanted to look at invisible beneath.

“Jesus Christ,” he took another step, “Look at you.”

You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly vulnerable as his gaze penetrated you. You felt yourself start to throb beneath the water and you crossed your legs unconsciously as he brought his eyes back up to look at your face.

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, taking another step, “Tell me to go and I will.”

You shook your head slowly, “Don't go.”

He stopped at the edge of the water, his expression suddenly pained as he peered at you, “I mean it,” the words were a murmur now, almost impossible to hear, “If I get in with you... if I-” he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, “If you don't want me, you gotta tell me now.”

“I want you,” you said it immediately, earnestly, voice barely a whisper, “Please.”

Keeping his eyes on you, he reached down and slipped out of his jeans, throwing them behind him. Your heart began to pound as he entered the water, eyes staying locked on his face, knowing full well that he was now completely naked but too nervous to look down at him. Instead, you slowly brought your hands down from your chest, your breasts on display to him as he traipsed through the water toward you. You expected his gaze to fall, but he never unlocked his eyes from yours, not even when he was suddenly standing directly in front of you.

“Say it again,” he whispered, and you felt his hand at your waist, gently brushing the skin there; you shivered.

“W-what?” you were completely intoxicated by his closeness, the musky smell of the body wash he'd used suddenly the only thing you could sense, surrounding you in a cloud of pure masculinity. He was so tall, so broad, so strong. You could barely think straight.

“Tell me you want me,” he breathed.

Instead of giving him a vocal response, you reached down between the two of you and felt for the firm length of his cock beneath the water; he was hard, long and solid at your fingertips. You wrapped your fingers around him as far as they would go and watched as he fell apart beneath your touch, brow furrowing in pleasure as he groaned, guttural and low. You leaned your head forward and buried your face in his warm chest, his coarse hair brushing against your cheeks.

“I want you,” you repeated against his skin, slowly dragging your hand up and down his shaft, shuffling closer so you felt the hot tip of it against your bare thigh, “Want you so bad, Joel.”

“Fuck,” he practically whimpered, and you felt his hand come up to cradle the back of your head like he'd done last night, holding you to his body, “Just like that, baby, just like that.”

You whined at the name, shivering when you felt his other hand press flat against your lower back, pulling you even closer to him. The head of his cock prodded at your lower belly and you couldn't help but look down, watching it breach the surface of the water, wide and dark. You stared at it, felt yourself literally begin to salivate as he fucked your fist, crossed your legs together even tighter when you looked up again to see that he was staring at you, slack-jawed and wrecked.

“This is what I wanted to do this morning,” you said softly to him, voice shaking slightly as the hand that wasn't on his cock trailed down his chest, “Just wanted to make you come, like you made me come.”

He made another throaty sound, the hand that had cradled your head moving down to cup your ass, “Fuck, I loved watching you come,” he moaned, squeezing one of your cheeks gently in his palm, “Prettiest thing I ever saw.”

You blushed, continuing to stroke him as you both breathed heavily and felt the warmth of the water, the warmth of each other completely overtake you. You pressed your forehead to his chest again and crossed your legs impossibly tighter.

“Don't do that,” he whispered, hand moving down beneath the water to grip your thigh, “Don't hide from me, not now.” Without any convincing necessary, you uncrossed your legs and allowed him to slip his hand between your thighs, thumb pressing gently against your clit. You moaned breathlessly, biting down on your lip. “Feel good, sweetheart?”

“Y-yes,” you whimpered against his chest as you felt his thumb rotate tenderly against the sensitive nub. His fingers were so thick and wide, everything about him was thick and wide. You could already feel yourself starting to fall apart when he ever so gently pushed his index finger inside of you, making you physically shake, “Joel.”

“That's it,” he murmured, “Love it when you say my name,” you began to stroke him faster and he grunted, deep and loud, “You were sayin' it in your sleep last night, do you remember?” his finger was now fully sheathed inside of you, hot and tight, “Moanin' it. Was I in your dream, baby?”

“Yes,” you whined.

“What was I doin'?” he carefully began to push his middle finger inside of you alongside the index, the stretch burning you slightly in the best way possible, “Was it like this? My fingers? Or was somethin' else deep in there?” he thumbed at your clit again, making your mouth pop open.

You couldn't remember the specific details of the dream you'd had, the one that had ended with you waking up riding Joel's thigh, but you could remember the main gist of it, which was pretty much exactly what was happening right now. It was almost too good to be true, too crazy similar to be reality. For a moment you feared you were about to wake up again, but then Joel slowly began to thrust his fingers in and out of you, and you knew this feeling had to be real.

“I don't remember,” you whispered into his skin, “But you were there, you were holding me close like this in the water,” you gripped his cock tighter in your fist, “Didn't want you to let me go.”

“I'm not gonna let you go, baby,” he murmured, breath hot in your ear, “I'm right here, never leavin'.” His breaths were becoming more frantic, erratic; you knew he was close. And so were you. “God, your hand feels so fucking good around my cock.”

His words were almost as penetrating as his fingers, and you gasped when you suddenly felt his other hand at your breast, teasing your nipple with his thumb and forefinger. You bit down hard on your lip again, keening at the overwhelming sensation of being so desired, so claimed. He mirrored your moan, eyes closing as he gently tweaked your nipple and squeezed your clit at the same time, making you clench around his fingers.

“I'm coming,” you managed to gasp out, hand stilling on his cock, “Oh god, Joel.”

“Come for me, pretty girl, show me,” he whispered breathlessly, “Show me how good it feels.”

You shook in his grasp as you felt your release overtake you, legs tightening again as he continued to relentlessly thrust his fingers in and out of you, thumb flicking wildly at your clit as you rode it out, repeating his name over and over like a mantra. You managed to start moving your hand on his cock again before your orgasm had ended, wanting to give him a similar release as he watched you come undone with his fingers. You heard him groan loudly and you opened your eyes to blearily watch as he finished in your fist, his come spurting above the water and along your fingers before disappearing into the water below. You closed your eyes again and whimpered as he carefully removed his fingers from your core, pulling you in close and burying his face in your neck.

“You're perfect,” he groaned against your skin, “Jesus, that was good.”

You laughed breathlessly, releasing him from your fist and bringing your arms up to wrap around him, palms pressed flush against his back in a warm hug. He hugged you back, and your eyes widened slightly when you felt him press a few small kisses to the space between your neck and shoulder, tender and gentle.

“My girl,” he murmured, and you felt tears suddenly sting your eyes, “Don't want anybody but you, you hear me? Nobody.”

You shut your eyes tight, holding him closer, “I don't want anyone else either,” you whispered, voice shaky with emotion, “It's just you, only you.”

He pulled back to peer down at you, and you were surprised to see that his eyes were also shining with tears, mirroring yours. He brought his hands down to your waist, thumbs stroking your bare skin as he smiled softly down at you.

“I'm gonna kiss you now,” he whispered, breath hitching a bit, “If that's okay.”

“Of course it's okay, dummy,” you replied with a smile, feeling a tear slip down your cheek, “Been waiting for you to ask me that for weeks.”

He chuckled at your words and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips, his beard rough but welcome against your chin. You kissed him back just as soft, hands stroking up and down his back soothingly as you gave yourself to him, let him take what was rightfully his. He held you tighter as he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours, giving you your favorite crooked smile.

“Sorry it took me so damn long.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #tlou fic #pedro pascal fic #*#fic: one thing i'm missing

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