#5 Year Old Cat Started Spraying

[emotoangel]

okay I’m going on a little ineffable phannie rant read at your own gut wrenching discretion bc I can’t lie this shit’s about to get parasocial

because it’s not just Dan and Phil dressed as Crowley and Aziraphale, is it?

it’s Dan and Phil, who have struggled with their sexualities for years. closeted, faced every speculation under the sun when it comes to their own sexualities, the other’s sexuality, their relationship, their legitimacy, if they’re queerbaiting or not, being OUT. OUT and dressed as two canonically gay men in love with each other, two men who would see the world burn to know the other was safe. two men who helped stop the end of the world so they could be together.

a man who is bitter and cold and a little bit bad (but not evil I would say, though he might try to make you believe he is) and a man who is love and light and exclusively good (or so he’d like you to believe). and am I talking about Dan and Phil there, or am I talking about Crowley and Aziraphale?

it’s about these two men who, even 5 years ago, feared the word ‘gay’. it’s about how Dan, Mr Commitmentphobe, Mr I Can’t Even Commit To A Pet, Mr Soulmates Are Not A Thing That Exist, bought a costume, and sprayed (or, fucking hell god help me DYED) his hair red, and posted a cute picture of him and his ranch partner/4000 year old tortoise/companion through life/actual soulmate and TAGGED IT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS.

it’s a couples costume!!! it’s impossible for it not to be, considering they are two of the most well known canonically in love gay men on the internet right now!! it’s a thank you to their little phannies online who make them feel safe and comfortable enough to do what they do every day. and it’s a shoutout to the progress they have made in 15 years. a ‘hey, we’re here, we’re happy and gay and (in love) together’. and that’s SOO SPECIAL. ITS SO SPECIAL. and it means everything!!!!

AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THE ONE PHOTO.

it’s the selfie on the story of them cute and couply and drinking the aziracrow drinks and looking happy and in love 😭

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CAT AND BEAR SAVE THE WORLD VS HOWLEY AND AZIRAPHIL ARE HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD

anyway basically I’m so insanely proud of them, feeling very parasocial about the progress they’ve made in 15 years to get to a point where they’re comfortable enough to make phwedding jokes and gay jokes and jokes about both being switches and furries and in love. feeling so proud of them being out and proud and gay and in love and also I have a good omens tattoo so I’m choosing to believe they did this for me personally thank you x

[lavenlady]

I've seen your work and it's amazing!!!

So I want to make a request.

How about the idea of

reader baby cardbot and platonic/parental relationship with cardbots?

Possible strong friendship with Theo.

Notes:

Reader is the last baby created by the Machine, doesn't remember how he ended up on Earth and doesn't know what happened to his creators.

The team takes responsibility for raising a new generation.

And by human standards, the reader could be 5-7 years old.

I LOVE the Idea! Here you go @akifandragon! Enjoy!

✪ The Last ✪ | Metal Cardbot x Child!Cardbot!Reader

part 2, part 3

Your escape pod was found in the scrapyard, basking in the sun, waiting to be opened. Noone really knew you were there, so everyone thought there was a treasure or a device. After making both Black Hook and Heavy Iron retreat, the first to open the pod was Blue Cop. Being as careful as he could, he didn't want to damage the thing that was inside.

Without much struggle he managed to do so, but what he found was not a device of any kind. It was you, a young little Cardbot. How terrified you were, shifting to the far back of the pod with such panicked optics. It made our last surviving Star Guardian guilty, he tried to calm you down, not wanting to keep you in this probably uncomfortable pod any longer. It was confusing for others, what was it taking his so long to get the device out? Wild Guardy fed up with the wait decided to walk towards the police car, only to stop in his tracks after seeing the contents of the pod. It made his processor swirl and had nearly had him collapsing from shock.

Others, sensing that something is wrong, slowly made they way towards the two. You have chosen to climb into the Star Guardians arms, still shaky, but content with his soft hold. You, as a curious young Cardbot you were, started playing with his helmfins, seeing that they moved when trying to reach them. Mega Ambler was the first one to come closer, checking your well being. Everyone was confused, how did you get here? Was it an accident, or was it intentional? Either way it was a positive outcome, you were probably the last child that somehow survived the annihilation of Machina. It truly was a blessing.

The closest Cardbot to you was Blue Cop, he was the first one to meet you afterall. He is always watching over you, worried that something could happen. You often like to play with his helmfins, watching as they shift to get away from your touch, it truly was funny to you.

The second in line was Shadow X, thanks to his more childish attitude. He tries to include you in his pranks, but Blue Cop's influence has reached you far quicker than anticipated. Though you never refused a lesson in shuriken throwing, the sound of them cutting the air was interesting. Sadly it was rare as whenever Mega Ambler would see you playing with something sharp, he pulls you away and lectures Shadow X for hours. You always enjoy his company.

Mega Ambler knows how fragile you are compared to them, to Black Hook and to Heavy Iron. It worries him that you are exposed to violence at such young age. He can't really cut it out entirely, but he can limit it to the best of his abilities. You deeply like how caring he is with you, even better he could always explain complex thing to you in an interesting way.

Phoenix Fire is more carefree than the unlicensed doctor, but worries greatly as well. Working with fires on Machina really showed what kind of damage it can do. When ever you are too hot he happily sprays water to cool you off, he can't have you overheating, it is not good for your health. You love to spend time with him, often asking him to make rain with his water cannons, it was one of your favourite activities.

Dexter loves teaching you about Earth's nature, taking you on strolls through the forest and showing you it's beauty. You took an interest to cats as they were more common to spot. Mainly because Dexter takes them to the Auto Shop and watches over you as you carefully pet the felines. You liked listening to him and loved the animals he often brought over.

Mega Trucker enthusiastically showed you the music he danced to. He even taught you some moves. He was the next fun Cardbot after Shadow X, managing to keep you company all day if needed. You liked him and were ecstatic that he could keep up with your sometimes handful energy.

Fleta Z likes to take you on flights, of course after asking others if that was alright. You loved the feeling of traveling the skies. He mostly carries you in his robot form so you often try to catch the clouds, though they always escape. It really makes him laugh at how determined you are to touch them. You like flying with him and playing with his wings like with Blue Cop's helmfins.

Wild Guardy didn't really try to get closer to you, but your genuine want to be his friends partly won him over. You really liked when he used his sword. That made him ask Mega Ambler to make you a smaller one without sharp edges. You would often want to sit on his shoulders and swing your mini sword around, hugging his helm so you won't fall off. He could only sigh and accept his fate.

You weren't really close to humans, but Theo somehow managed to make his way into your friend circle. You liked to hear his stories and rumors about the surrounding area, it was funny how other Cardbots were believing such stories and you were not. You liked to watch Theo as he was doing his homework, often listening to him as he explained what he was doing. You were even trying to help with your new possessed knowledge.

The first contact with Black Hook's crew was funny to say the least. The mini Gallons were tasked to steal the Metal Breath. While the older Cardbots were chasing them you quietly picked up the green one out of the minis and held him close, finding him fun to carry around. Noone really noticed that, both of you watching the chase on the sidelines without really having anything to do.

The other two managed to get away, luckily without the Metal Breath. Their escape was short lived as Buffalo Crush crushed them accidentally under his tire. Your innocent nature immediately made you cry at the sight. The green mini was in shock, somehow you had unconsciously saved him from that fate, which made him try to lighten up your mood. Seeing at least one of them was intact made you hug him to your chassis, happy that he is still there.

The mini Gallon quickly became your friend, being around you all the time. When others found out you had him, at first they tried to coax you into giving him to them, but seeing your sad little optics made then drop that idea. They allowed it under other Cardbot's supervision.

When Buffalo Crush was sealed you were hesitant at first, but with his unique personality you slowly came to like him. Of course not without an apology to the mini Gallon. Buffalo Crush was shocked seeing you, how and when did you appear. If he was still with Black Hook, he would have probably told him about that discovery. He likes to carry you around on his shoulders and listen to your questions. You enjoy his talks and fuel he gives you, it is really tasty!

Buster Gallon was taken back as well when he saw you, but noticing that you had his missing mini, he tried to get him back, only to be met with your denial. He started arguing with you, both of you looking like kids fighting for the same toy. In the end you had to let your little friend go. Instead he started introducing you to his less harmful experiments. You especially liked his ink shooting pen.

Black Hook was ecstatic, a little fella that spent time with his subordinates and greatly enjoyed their company was perfect to be a part of the Black crew. Other Cardbots denied to even let you near the battle field and had to watch over so he wouldn't possibly endanger your well-being. You liked his hat and just like with Blue Cop's helmfins you liked to try and reach it. Black Hook was often spotted with you on his shoulder from where you were trying to reach his pirate hat with your shorter arms.

The final battle took place, they had to leave you behind at the Auto Shop with the minis to keep you company. After winning the fight with Heavy Iron and successfully sealing him, he got to finally met you. He was confused to say the least. When did you even show up? He didn't want you near him, always moving away from you. He couldn't exactly say that to your face-plates as he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it. Over time he would let you hug his leg. He was not going soft on you just because you are possibly the last young of planet Machina. Was he?

You liked Heavy Iron's swords, just like Wild Guardy's ones. His banter with Black Hook was hilarious. They even knocked back Blue Cop's hat off his helm. They fought often and you didn't understand why. Fleta Z told you that it was their way of bonding. He played his flute whenever they argued to keep your attention away from them. All of them wanted to keep the last young of their kind safe. Though that was cut short when their presence started to make Edo broke and even better - Crest found a stone tablet, which he thought Jun would like to see.

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( Hope you liked it! )

(Master list)

( Request away! )

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters at Disneyland

As requested by @jellybeanzrock :)

Listen...I'm sure that SOMEONE on tumblr already did a post like this but I CANNOT find it. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, let me know so that I can link it! I think it was maybe about roller coasters...?

Anyway, here's my take!

1. Steris: Arrives with the perfect plan

Yes, it is in a binder.

Steris: Breakfast: acquired. Steris: We are all sunscreened, we have full water bottles, and we're already 8 minutes ahead of schedule. Steris: According to the plan, this is the optimal time to use our Fast Pass for Space Mountain. Wax: Space Mountain just closed for repairs! Steris: Tch. Turn to Plan C, everyone. I was ready for this.

2. Shallan: Mostly wants to sketch the wildlife

Shallan: Guys, stop! There's a new cat over there! Kaladin: Are you sure? It looks just like all the other cats. Adolin: Are you blind? That one's a tabby. The last one was gray, and the on before that was orange! Kaladin: ...Tabby and orange are different? Shallan: Both of you, hush! You're going to wake him!

3. Lightsong: Won't leave the Tiki Room

[Full disclosure: This is my wife's favorite "ride."]

Llarimar: Your Grace, are you sure you don't want to do...anything else today? Lightsong: This is the only part of the park that's empty and air-conditioned, Spook! Lightsong: Plus, I like the singing birds. Lightsong: They remind me of home.

4. Adolin: Gets too into the Mickey ears

He really should have brought an extra, empty suitcase.

Kaladin [eyes narrowed]: Those aren't the ears you were wearing yesterday. Adolin: Well, duh! These are my breakfast ears. The ears are sunnyside-up eggs! Shallan: He'll change into his midmorning ears after. Adolin: Plus, I have some fun ones for lunch! Not to mention my afternoon ears, my slightly fancy dinner ears... Kaladin: You have a problem. Adolin [waving a hand airily]: You just hate fun.

5. Kaladin: Just really likes the Soarin' Ride

[Full discloser: that is my favorite ride]

Syl: ...You know this is kinda an old man ride, right? Kaladin: I like it. It's peaceful. Syl: We're not even flying! We can fly for real! Kaladin: I like the part where they spray orange-blossom scent. Syl: I can't believe I bonded an 80-year-old man...

6. Syl: Really likes the characters

[Light spoilers for Wind and Truth -- just skip to #7 if you want to avoid!]

Syl: [full-size, now wearing a princess dress] Syl: Children keep asking for my photograph! Syl: I'm not sure who "Elsa" is, but I think I'm flattered!

7. Vin: Just really likes the Tower of Terror ride

It's the one that's just a huge vertical drop.

Vin: It's like jumping off a tall building, only there are more people around you, screaming. Elend: And nobody dies! Vin: And nobody dies.

8. Lift: Is mainly interested in eating every type of churro

She heard there were seven unique types, and she's determined to eat every one.

Wyndle: T-This is reminding me of you and the pancakes in Yeddaw. Wyndle: ...There isn't a dangerous Herald hunting us, is there? Lift: No, but I think that giant Mouse was lookin' at me funny.

9. Kelsier: Keeps ending up where he's not supposed to be

Kelsier: Why would they even HAVE a "forbidden" island clearly visible called Discovery Island if you're not supposed to sneak over to it? Kelsier: It's like they put up a big flashing sign that said "Secrets Here! Come and get 'em!" Dockson: I can't believe you got us kicked out of Disneyland. Kelsier: They started it.

10. Gavinor: Is the most serious child at Disneyland

Gavinor: [Gazing at the Haunted Mansion, unsmiling.] Dalinar: Do you want to go on that ride, Gavinor? Gavinor: Okay. Gavinor: Do you think one of the ghosts might be my dad? Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I don't think mouse ears can fix this.

[secretly-from-the80s]

My outsiders head cannons because idk im bored (warning I’ll prolly misspell things!)

Darry:

1: When he was younger he used to play in the mud with Pony and soda and they would go back into the house and their mom would kick them out and would have to spray them down with a hose

2: (after the book) Darry and pony had gotten into a argument like brothers do and Darry Couldng handle it anymore and broke down in tears in front of both his brothers.

3: he has nightmares sometimes and they cause him to wake up in a panic and he would always have to check up on pony and soda to make sure they were okay

4: idk why some people like make him seem like a Facebook mom who likes minion memes and dad jokes. HES BARELY 20 YEARS OLD. He would probably say the most unfiltered ass shit in a group chat 😭

5: he gets those random urges to like kick or playfully hit pony or soda (I do that 😣)

6: ate rotten food once and work and got sick and his boss had to drive the boy home since he was so sick

7: will probably work himself till he makes himself sick like he Wont stop himself till someone stops him

8: hates seeming like a parent more then a older brother sometimes when the boys need reminders that Darry is still their brother Darry will start a game of tag and all the brothers will run around the house. (When they did that when their parents were alive they knocked down a special vase and they all got whooped)

9 : likes cats. He has a stray cat at work that he shares his lunch with he named it “kitty cat” sooooo creative righttt

10: doesn’t like ham (idk that just randomly appeared in my mind)

Extra: used to bite as a child and gags when those chunks of food in the sink hits his hands

Soda

1: stinks like car oil and pony will not allow him to get into the bed till he showers

2: likes grilled cheeses (me too bro)

3: he once caught Darry having a panic attack and didn’t really know what to do since he’s never really saw his brother like Cry like that so he was awkwardly comforting him😭

4: makes Radom sounds like with his mouth and it’s makes the others tweak

5: gets dates mixed up really easily

6: after Darry slapped pony, soda in a fit of like idk rage punched Darry square in the face.

7: WILL forget to clean under his fingernails.

8: Darry ate his food once and soda ignored him for the rest of the night. Anytime Darry Tried to talk to him soda would give him a snooty face and would cross his arms and say “mhmp”

9: cries when he watches dog movies (like all dogs go to heaven or a dogs purpose or a dogs way home)

10: has the most NASTIEST converse and refuses to clean them

Ponyboy

1: can only cook eggs he cannot cook anything else 😭

2: loves chocolate milk (I think that’s in the book)

3: tried Darry’s coffee once and almost threw up since it was so bitter

4: likes to race Darry since they were both in sports that involved a lot of running

5: stole one of Darry’s old sweatshirts and REFUSES to give it back. He loves that sweatshirt it’s like 2 sizes to big for him

6: (after the book) had a huge growth spurt after the book like it wasn’t even funny😭

7: since Darry and soda are such deep sleepers pony once drew like a “rocketship” and all those other things teenage boys draw he drew it on his brothers faces😣

8: chews his nails

9: has/had a crush on a soc girl and got teased by the gang relentlessly

10: (if it was like modern day idk) he would love headphones/airpods

Dallas

1: got chased by a dog and is forever traumatized from

2: would prolly stink like beer and sweat

3: bro can sleep through a tornado

4: bro prolly has the most greasiest hair

5: bro has a laugh that makes everyone else laugh

6: (before the Curtis parents died) dally finally made Darry sneak out with him and they ended up getting pulled up on by Mr Curtis and they both ended up getting in so much trouble 😭

7: made a your mom joke to the Curtis brothers and ended up getting jumped 😣

8: like those bland ass Cheerios

9: favorite fruit is cherries

10: bro will flip his underwear inside out and backwards since his nasty ass don’t wanna waste the time to wash the clothes

Steve

1: gets mad and when Darry doesn’t make chocolate cake 😣

2: bro will make himself at home at the Curtis house that couch practically as a ass imprint from him

3: likes strawberry shortcake (that’s his favorite dessert)

4: has so much beef with ponyboy they diss eachother anytime they get to

5: bro will HOG the bed if you share it with him

(Sorry his is kinda short 😣)

Two-bit

1: lost his Mickey Mouse shirt in the washer and thought he lost it forever

2: has a younger sister (protective brother)

3: knows how to braid hair

4: tried to recreate Darry’s infamous chocolate cake and he failed miserably 😭

5: he was really mad at Darry when pony ran away. When he found out he said straight in Darry’s face “good brother my ass.”

6: favorite Disney princess is belle (idk why I thought of that)

7: when he’s actually like serious the gang like tenses up a bit

8: knows all the drama from his younger sister he had beef with little kids he’s never even met

His lil sister: “yeah and Shelly and David are dating when she knew David was my crush and I told her too”

Two-bit: “I don’t like Shelly or David 🙄”

Johnny

1: (when the Curtis parents were alive) he once ran to the Curtis house after his father hit him super hard and Mrs Curtis took him in for the night giving him a hot meal and a warm shower and some clean clothes.

2: whenever he needs to crash somewhere he has a designated pallet that he sleeps on in the Curtis house

3: likes m&m popcorn

4: chews the side of his nails

5: can go days without eating

6: bro needs to wash that Jean jacket

(SORRY HIS IS SO SHORT)

[thatkindofwoman]

My hands can be cataloged as right thumb, index, and ring covered by a light dusting of a weak charcoal color spray paint. I was spray painting a recently repaired, long-ago broken wrought iron chair. I ran out of spray paint before completing the second one, and admittedly did a bad job on the first. It's fine.

The right ring finger has a brass dome ring I purchased at my favorite store in Cape May two summers ago, I believe. Givens, the store. 2 years, and estimate. The wrist wears a loose rubberband, a gold permanent jewelry bracelet courtesy of Janna, a faux crystal stretch bracelet, and beads I bought at the one headshop I used to like in town.

On the left hand, another ring purchased at Givens in Cape May, 3 summers ago. Round, imperfect malachite. I am rough on this ring. I am rough on my hands. My thumbnail was bruised for several weeks; I cannot remember the exact damage inducer, probably my own clumsiness. The wrist is adorned with two silver permanent bracelets, much more delicate than the other side, two silver bangles and a gold. Cheap 5 year old target beaded bracelets I can't remember which target, something is telling me the one outside of Philly I stopped into on a whim as I needed a brush and clib for my hair. Maybe. No target since DEI rollback. I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.

I just seeded the long garden bed in the most eastern part of my garden with Radishes, Corn, cucumbers, and potatoes. I lied. The potatoes I put in hours earlier between answering work calls and editing a blog about shipping hazardous materials. Drafting proposals to train 100 people in regulatory compliance for DOT Hazmat Wastes. I refuse to retain the blog's details, much like I refuse to retain any more details about my day job. I do everything on the back end: the shipping of our compliance guidebook, photography, website, contracts, bills, graphic design, marketing, customer service, editing, and talking down my coworkers. I know what we do. I don't find it interesting, but here we are... It started September 2017. Well, it started decades before that, but that's when I started full time, and now.... I manage. I actually manage the majority of the business and the buildings. I managed the business through a plague and numerous mental breakdowns. I also have started The Publishing House back up, as of October of last year, and I help my mum with the flower farm. Pop-up markets, live music, mutual aid, art.

On a whim of me being me, I am running for Borough Council, much like city council but this small rural Pennsylvanian town isn't a city. It's a Boro. I'm tired, and sensitively disoriented, but I know what a difference I can make. And allowing the spot to go to someone who may facilitate hatred or harm was too much to bear. I am running unopposed. So unless someone campaigns as a write-in, I am a shoo-in.

Here goes 35, and I'm taking on more to impact my community more.

I am also approaching 2 years since meeting the guy and a year and a half of being together. I tell you, the frustrations of being in a relationship with a man in his early 40s make me want to scrub the world of gender norms and relationship expectations and start fresh. And as much as communicating that with my guy wants to happen, I am learning I must prioritize myself, knowing myself and my mind first before I can make a clear statement. Blurting out my feelings and problems to a nonconfrontational man who isn't the best communicator is, well, it's a whole thing.

Outside of the ins of my life, I feel broken by the horrors. We're living under a dictator, capitalism and white supremacy have won out, and the fight is harder and harder. I am trying to grow a garden, and do my jobs and maintain a social circle, and take care of my dogs, my cats, my relationship. My family. I am watching, and donating, and sharing information as best I can. I am trying not to burn something to the ground, at least right now.

Is coming back on Tumblr a good idea? Probably not. It's a shell of what it once was. Close friends are now strangers who I follow on Instagram and occasionally reconnect with, or who I'm friends with on FB because they stopped following me on Instagram in my huge migration farther and farther left. I truly miss when the internet was on your laptop or desktop and your phone wasn't the portal to the world's horrors, lies, and hopes. It was a way to call or text a friend, and not the end all and be all of content, direction, health, emails, propaganda, advertisements, and all the bullshit.

I am hoping this prompts some writing and inspiration at the least. Here this little corner of the internet. I hope.

[tomorrowsgardennc]

chicken update // december 17

awww yeh, operation chicken is a go. hubs and i have a plan of attack, and today i started one of many steps we gotta get through between now and late march. since i know where exactly i'll be sourcing my chicks from, i already know they will be less than a week old when they are delivered to the store, and i hope to have enough spoons to get in line early on delivery day. fr, they have lines out the store door like it was black friday in the 90s on chick delivery day.

so, knowing that, first step is to start prepping the nursery. now typically the chicken nursery is just a plastic tub with a hole cut out of the top for the heat lamp. even though this will be the only batch i'll get for a few years (HAHAHAHAHAHA) i still want a nice nursery for them - one that is easy for me to reach, clean, and check on them, and at the same time cat friendly. i will have this nursery in my craft room with the door closed when i am not there, but i will have it open for cats to come and go with supervision. i want them to get used to having chickens around ASAP - especially parsley. but i also know cats are cats and i need to be extra careful. so, with all of this in mind - here is the plan for the chicken nursery:

my dad has made several of these raised beds for me over the course of 4 years now. they are built with great craftsmanship, of course, but still with some kinks to iron out that we learned along the way. like not to line them with plastic anymore, because that just encourages the wood to rot quicker more than anything. but they are a decent height for me and my needs. i have moved some into the greenhouse to live out the rest of their lives with hopefully less wear and tear from rainfall, but the last one he built has the least amount of wood issues and mold. so that is the one i have chosen for the chicken nursery.

step 1 was to hammer out the bits i don't need - also the bits with the most rot. bottom is gone, and the front is now gone. the idea is to have the bottom, front, and top have the wire mesh. bottom will have the be the 1/4" mesh, but i have leftover 1/2" mesh i'm going to use for either the top or front. bottom will also - eventually - have a very narrow pull out drawer for the poop. the top will be on a hinge with a locking mechanism so i can open it but a cat with the normal amount of thumbs cannot open it (only 1 of 5 cats has an extra thumb, should be fine 👀)

i am leaving the sides and the back wood because this will be against a wall in the craft room, so no need for mesh there. and i am hoping with the sides closed in there will be less accidental intrustions from feline entities.

i went ahead and painted the mesh i already have black. the bottom mesh will not be painted, just in case. or will painting it be ok??? who knows. not me lol.

close ups of the details of how the raised beds was built, in case any of you are also master carpenters out there and are curious. the wood i smacked out and didn't want had been placed with the longest staples i have ever did done see so those were a pain to plyer out... albeit this was built not expecting to take apart. i also found this forbidden toothbrush?? i don't know what it's really for and i also didn't know we owned one, but hey it was perfect for cleaning any residual soil from every nook and cranny! felt like nails on chalkboard when doing it, but i endured.

by the time i ran out of spoons, the basic framework of the chicken nursery was complete! well, most of the work was done by my dad earlier this year... BUT i took apart what needed to be taken apart and did step 1 of cleaning. with parsley's help, as always.

next step is to wait for a very sunny day after i have recharged my spoons and spray bleach on it, and scrub it down real good. like, extra good. then after that will be painting. after after that, the real construction begins on the mesh bits and the drawer.

[unifox]

Deer In The Headlights

~Pairing: Joshua x fem!reader

~Genre: fluff/ crack/ light very light horror/thrill?

~Warnings: idk how to word it, but the reader feels really unsafe and feels the need to pepper spray her offender. Light Panic attack (Let me know if there's more!) Not proof read (yet!)

~Words: 1,7k 

~Summary: What do you mean the creep you pepper sprayed was your neighbor's best friend?! In which Joshua wants to walk you home but you mistake him for a creep and spray him.

a/n:��My first Seventeen fanfic! This was kind of fun to write since I was inspired by the song of my favorite artist! Deer In The Headlights by Owl City. Since where I live is not the safest place my dad made me walk around with a mini pepper spray can (just in case, we never know right?) and it matched the lyrics perfectly. I also made a fem!reader bc as a girl I don't feel totally safe walking alone at night so I did something more relatable to myself, hope yall don't mind. Anyway, I hope you guys like it! ~Foxy🦊

Navigation | Masterlist

"Police report another case of young women being followed by perverted men around the neighborhood. It is recommended that women avoid walking alone at night."

Nice, just nice.

You had to run out of cat food and only realize it at night. Coming home from work after a really long day you decided to nap, which was not a good idea. Shadow, your 1-year-old cat meowed really loudly at your sleepy face once again. Great, it's time to gather your pepper spray and courage and walk to the closest convenience store.

It's ok, you just have to walk for about 10 minutes

Seeing the convenience store you walked faster and got inside. 2 packs of wet cat food for now will do. Get some sweets and maybe a soft drink to go with your dinner. Opening the refrigerator to get your drink you saw from the corner of your eye a man pass by on the other side of the ice cream fridge. 

As he passed by, you caught Joshua's eye. He didn't believe in love at first sight before you. 

Tell me again, was it love at first sight?

He needed to get your name and hopefully your number too. He went to the register to pay for his stuff before waiting to meet you outside. Maybe he could offer to walk you home since the news kept on reporting perverts around that neighborhood.

Food acquired, you grabbed the little pepper spray can and put it in your pocket after paying. looking around from the door of the store you decided it was safe to step outside. Walking fast to of there you didn't notice the pretty boy waiting for you. 

Feeling a presence behind you, the hand in your pocket gripped the can inside it with more strength 

"Hello-"

Turning around to see a (might you add, very pretty) man, you let out a high-pitched scream, spraying your offender with the pepper spray and then running away. The 10-minute walk to the store turned into a 5-minute run to your apartment. With the adrenaline still running through your veins you didn't even notice your neighbor getting his mail, running straight into him. 

"Oh god y/n, are you ok?" Mingyu asked grabbing your arms before you hit the floor. 

"Mingyu? I- I- I think? I don't know I-" You panicked

"Ok breathe" he did a little breathing exercise with you until you stopped breathing heavily

"I went to the convenience store and a guy started following me so when he got too close I sprayed him with this" You raised the little can on your hand so he could see it. 

"Woah, that must have been so scary. You can call me or my roommate Wonwoo to accompany you to the store next time. If we're not home I can check if my friends can go with you, some of them live nearby so it's no problem. Let's get you home yeah?"

While Mingyu gently took you home, Joshua somehow managed to drag himself home, knocking on the door so that someone could help him. 

"What the fuc-" Jeonghan opened the door and as soon as he did, he began to cough

"Please just help me to the nearest sink"

"What the hell happened to you? Weren't you supposed to just go to the store to get us snacks for our movie night?" Jeonghan guided Joshua into the bathroom

"Yeah, but I got paper sprayed by this really pretty girl so help me, I don't know what I should do"

"Ok, so according to Google you have to not panic and stay calm" If Joshua could see normally he would have rolled his eyes at his friend's words

 "Also wash your eyes with water and soap"

"Took you long enough"

----------

"Yo Mingyu, let's cancel movie night. Joshua is... Not feeling well" Seungcheol said through the phone while looking at his friend, who asked to not disclose what really happened to him "No no no he's fine, you don't need to bring anything... Ok thanks, I'll let him know. Bye" As he hung up Josh groaned

"It feels like I'm dying. Please open the window I'm still breathing funny." 

"What did you even do to get her to spray you?" Sungcheol scolded

Jeonghan laughed not even looking up from his phone "he said hi"

"You're kidding me"

"I'm not! I was going to ask her if she wanted me to walk her home since it's dangerous and she attacked me!" Josh responded trying to sit up on the couch and almost falling out

"She probably thought YOU were attacking her you idiot. Now lay down, let me get you some water"

"Thanks bro"

----------

A week passed and nothing eventful happened. Once a week you'd go to the supermarket with Mingyu (or his shy roommate Wonwoo), which made the three of you become closer. 

Now, you're currently sitting on your sofa playing Mario Kart against Wonwoo, who's sitting very still because Shadow is sleeping on his lap. Mingyu is in your kitchen making popcorn when his phone starts buzzing on the sofa to your left. Wonwoo is winning this round (again) so you don't bother trying to beat him and look at Mingyu's phone.

"Gyu! Someone called Joshua is calling you"

"Ask Wonwoo to pick it up! I don't want to burn the popcorn!!"

"Put it on speaker y/n, can't let you win this time" Wonwoo responds with a grin. He knew you wouldn't beat him anyway...

"Hey Shua~" He responds when you accept the call and move the phone to sit between you two

"Oh, Wonwoo hii. Where are you guys? I just came by to drop off the books Jeonghan borrowed last week."

"yessss~" Wonwoo quietly celebrates his victory while you roll your eyes "Oh yeah, we're at a friend's place..."

"Sorry man. I'll drop by tomorrow then..." he starts to say when you interrupt

"Hi! We're two floors down in apartment 21 if you want to drop by."

"Hi, didn't know you were neighbors. Thank you, I'll be down in a minute" He said in the nicest tone then hung up

2 minutes later Joshua was at your doorstep and as soon as you opened the door and looked at his face he froze

But when beauty met the beast he froze

With quick instincts, you closed the door on his face.

Mingyu came out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn and looked confused.

"It wasn't Joshua?"

"Gyu, it's the guy!" You whisper yelled at him kinda panicked "The guy that followed me from the convenience store!" 

With that, Mingyu got alert and quickly left the popcorn on your table and rushed to the door. Opening the door it was just Joshua frozen in place. What...?

"Josh?"

"Oh god Mingyu"

Mingyu closed the door behind him and started questioning Joshua

"Do you guys know each other?"

"Oh well... Long story short... I think I scared her in a convenience store and she pepper sprayed me"

Oh, that makes sense

"So last week you weren't sick... you were pepper sprayed?" Gyu started to giggle at the thought of Joshua all messed up

"Dude stop! That's embarrassing! I only wanted to ask if she wanted company to walk home since, you know, the neighborhood is kinda... not safe?" Josh stated turning red when Mingyu left a genuine laugh

Oh no...

You thought while listening to their conversation though the door. Wonwoo and Shadow found their way next yo you sitting on the floor near the entrance. Wonwoo thought the situation was hilarious while you were panicking. You attacked their friend with pepper spray... poor guy. You felt sorry. All lost in their own thoughts, you didn't realize mingyu opening the door.

The four of you just stared at each other. Mingyu with a goofy face, Joshua blushing in embarrassment, wonwoo holding back giggle sitting on the floor and your panicked face while leaning on the doorframe. Shadow sensed the shift in the situation meowing at you.

This was embarrassing

"can we come in...?" Mingyu asked as you got Shadow in your arms answering a quick yes and moving out of the way

"Yay, let's clear things up." Mingyu answered as Joshua hesitantly followed him inside.

You all sat in the living room. You and Wonwoo on your mini sofa as Mingyu sat opposite you on te floor, ushering Joshua to sit next to him, the books forgotten near the door. 

Joshua started explaining to you and apologizing about his... creep-like approach. With you quickly apologizing as well for spraying him. He couldn't help but stare at you. 

Up close you were even prettier

After introductions and explanations, you invited him for your movie night. He was Mingyu and Wonwoo's friend after all, which he gladly accepted. Anything to spend more time with the girl he was sure he fell at first sight.

After that, you started seeing more of Joshua. Sometimes you saw him in your neighbour's home and sometimes you crossed paths in the nearby market and the convenience store. On your fourth meeting, at Gyu's apartment, he asked if you wanted to hang out at his apartment. You met mischievous Joenghan and caring Seungcheol.

On your eighth meeting, he asked you out and two months later you were a couple.

On your one-year anniversary, you both lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling where the galaxy projection moves slowly while a soft Lofi playlist plays in the background. You lay on your side, clinging to Joshua's left arm, while his right one carcasses the black cat sleeping on his stomach. 

"Remember when we first met? And you almost blinded me with your beauty?" He says amused

"More like my pepper spray" you comment feeling embarrassed

"It's okay sweetie. At least I know you're self-sufficient... And that the paper spray works! You know, I feel like when I saw you it was love at first sight, you caught my eye immediately. I couldn't think straight when I saw you leave, I had to talk to you." He says in that love-filled tone you grew to love so much

"I know baby, I think it would be an ok situation but you got your timing really wrong. You got me fearing for my life that day" You chuckled "You got paper prayed, but hey! Now you have a girlfriend because of it!"

"I don't think that's how it works..."

"Shhh, just be happy that we're dating" You shut him up with a kiss on the cheek

"Happy one year together Shua"

"Happy one year together y/n"

When you met, Shua is the doe-eyed one. But you were the deer in the headlights.

[mothervonmayhem]

Neon Requiem - Band Rivals Hobie x Guitarist! Reader

Based on @rexlroze and @the-kr8tor 's original ideas that just started to eat my brain.

NOTE: I don't write Hobie/Miguel--in fact--I don't write fanfiction at all. As the fandom's resident Chaos Goblin Queen!Spider-Mom writing characters half my age is a bit of a stretch for me. This has not been proofread/edited for foreign language used. All repetitive info, boring shit, and grammatical mistakes are 100% my own and brought to you by the letters ASD and the numbers 5 (as in year-old-child with aforementioned ASD) and 3 (as in hours of sleep that I get each night).

Also, written like a screenplay, so I could turn this into a proper comic coming up. Also also, get you a person who looks at you like Hobie looks at R.

ACT 1 SCENE 1 - FLASHBACK - EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT In a gritty, neon-lit alleyway, Young teen R is busy wheat-pasting posters for her band's upcoming gig. The posters feature a cybernetic skull (looking suspiciously like Spider-Man 2099 mask) with glowing eyes, the band's name "2099" emblazoned beneath it. As she works, Hobie appears from the shadows, a spray can in hand. He's tagging a nearby wall with a stylized anarchy symbol.

HOBIE (noticing R) Oi, what've we got 'ere? Another lost soul in the concrete jungle?

R (startled, then regaining composure) Hardly lost, mon ami. Just spreading the word about the revolution. Hobie steps closer, examining her posters.

HOBIE "2099," eh? Sounds like a proper cyberpunk outfit. You lot singing about the end of the world or sommat?

R (grinning) More like the rebirth of a new one, through science and technology. It is the brain-child of mon ami, his idea for a band... but he sings like...a cat in heat yowling from inside a Cookie Monster costume. Fun concept though. I'm going to take lead vocals.

HOBIE (intrigued) That sounds painful... but color me impressed, love... You can sing? Right? Not every day you meet a bird with brains, talent, and beauty. R rolls her eyes, but there is a hint of a blush on her cheeks, but before she can respond, the sound of police sirens fills the air.

HOBIE (grabbing R's hand) Bollocks, your dystopian future has arrived! They run through the winding alleyways, adrenaline pumping, until they finally come to a stop in a secluded courtyard.

READER (catching her breath) Merde, that was close!

HOBIE (grinning) Stick with me, love, and you'll never be bored. As they lean against the wall, laughing and trying to catch their breath, a spark of connection flickers between them.

READER (realizing) Wait, I never got your name.

HOBIE (extending his hand) Most just call me Dirty Punk, or Punk for short. He jokes, self-deprecating, he doesn’t want to tell her his name yet, it feels really personal now, like it's just Hobart, it's not that cool. It’s definitely not cool enough to tell her.

READER Punk, eh? Really? Fine, then call me R. Yeah, Punk, I can sing...

SCENE 2 - PRESENT DAY - EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

In a gritty, neon-lit alleyway, READER, a French metal chick with ever-changing hair color, is struggling to wheat-paste a large poster featuring her band "NEON REQUIEM" on a high, hard-to-reach wall.

Suddenly, SPIDER PUNK (aka HOBIE BROWN), a British punk rocker and vigilante, appears hanging upside down on a web behind her.

SPIDER PUNK Need a hand, love?

Reader spins around, eyes wide with fear and surprise.

READER (stammering) Spider-Man! Je suis désolée, It… yeah.. it's exactly what it looks like.

SPIDER PUNK (waving his hand dismissively) Nah, don't sweat it, mate. I'm all for stickin' it to the man. 'Sides, that's a wicked poster you got there.

Reader relaxes, a smile spreading across her face.

READER (relieved) Merci! I thought I was busted for sure.

SPIDER PUNK (flips down from the web and lands on his feet, like a cat) Not on my watch, love. 'Ere, let me give you a boost.

Spider Punk gently wraps an arm around Reader's waist and shoots a web to the top of the wall. They ascend together, Reader grinning as they reach the perfect spot to place the poster.

As they work together to smooth out the poster, Spider Punk notices the band details: Reader, Miguel, and Gabriel. Guitar, Bass, and Drums. Miguel is handsome, long-haired, massive band-mate. Miguel back up vocals and bass he is the epitome of a metal-head.

SPIDER PUNK (chuckling at Miguel's serious metal-head expression) This bloke looks like he could use a laugh.

With a mischievous grin beneath his mask, Spider Punk uses his web shooter to draw a silly mustache on Miguel's serious face.

READER (giggling) Oh, il va être furieux! But it's too funny! My poor brother.

SPIDER PUNK (admiring their handiwork) There, now that's a proper work of art.

As they descend back to the ground, Reader turns to Spider Punk, her eyes sparkling with amusement and gratitude.

READER (sincerely) Merci beaucoup, Spider-Man. You really saved my ass tonight. You should come cheer us on at Battle of the Bands.

SPIDER PUNK (bowing dramatically) All in a night's work for your friendly neighborhood Spider Punk, love. I might be there, afterall, the Spider Punks are playing-band like that is my namesake, innit?

With a wink beneath his mask, Spider Punk shoots a web and swings off into the night, leaving Reader grinning and shaking her head in amazement.

SCENE 3 - INT. BAR - NIGHT

Later after dropping by her hostel room to change and wash up from paste, READER, aka, R is at a bar when she spots the only open spot at the bar. It's next to a 20-something nursing a pint. SPIDER PUNK, aka HOBIE BROWN aka PUNK, a British punk guitarist in his mid-20s, sits at the bar, nursing a pint. His lean, wiry frame is clad in a torn Sex Pistols shirt and tight jeans, held up by a studded belt slung low on his hips. Fishnet gloves adorn his hands, their black polished nails chipped from endless hours of guitar playing. Piercings glint in the dim light, catching the eye and hinting at his rebellious nature. He's in his civvy digs, a signature blend of 1980s anarcho-punk style that makes him look like the second-coming of Jean-Michel Basquiat, all raw talent and unfiltered edge. Lost in thought, an achingly familiar voice, something from a buried memory, suddenly catches his attention. It can't be...

READER, [loosely based on Gwen Stacy's Black Cat] a French metal chick with ever-changing hair color,  also in their mid-20s and equally skilled with a guitar, orders a drink next to him. Her effortlessly cool vibe is a result of her world travels. She is now in her full stage persona costume with all the eyeliner and leather that comes along with it.The two don't recognize each other at first.

READER (to the bartender, in a French accent) Un Jack Daniel's, s'il vous plaît.

Hobie glances at Reader, a flicker of recognition in his eyes... doesn't he know her? Battle of the Bands? Must be it, mate.

HOBIE (in a thick British accent) Blimey, that's a proper choice, innit? You 'ere for the battle of the bands, love?

READER (surprised) Oui, how did you know?

HOBIE (smirking) Just a... sense...Call it a punk's intuition, darling. I'm in the mix too, y'know.

MIGUEL O'HARA, Reader's handsome, *built* Hispanic bandmate, approaches. At 6'7" and 310lbs of pure muscle, he cuts an imposing figure. His younger brother GABRIEL, a softer, sweeter version of Miguel, follows close behind.

MIGUEL (Finds Reader and is by her side instantly, voice dripping with sarcasm and derision) R, you snuck out on practice...just to drink in this hellhole? Is that Jack? No puedo mas... Carnalita...This shit is bad for you.

READER (smiles to her bandmate, she has just arrived but she is hiding her wheat-pasting activities from the stern older band-mate) You worry too much, Miggy, mon ami. We've been practicing all week.

MIGUEL (softens) Gabri and I could have come out with you. You shouldn't go out in an unknown city alone. It's not safe for you, carnala.

HOBIE (puffs a bit, all charm, recognizing Miguel from the poster, he puts it together that R is the same girl from earlier. Hoping to impress this 'brother' of the cute girl, he offers Miguel his hand. Miguel looks him over and is unimpressed, he does not take Hobie's hand) Keeping the lady safe, mate. You can trust me. I'm one of the Spider-Punks.

GABRIEL (shoulders his brother to the side and takes Hobie's hand, gushing) We've heard of you guys, the local punk rock band, yeah? Your drummer is... gahh...Ah-Mazing! You think we could meet?

Someone's got a crush on Gwen Stacy.

MIGUEL (scoffing, stepping closer to R) You call that punk noise "rock"? Metal is where the real skill lies...Real talent is in the complexity, the technical skill. Metal pushes boundaries, takes you to new places. Punk's just three chords and an attitude.

HOBIE (visible shift in attitude, he eyes Miguel's massive frame) Never skip leg day, eh bruv?

R stifles a laugh as Miguel's face reddens with anger. Gabriel looks nervously between his brother and Hobie.

READER (trying to defuse the tension) Allez, let's save the competition for the stage, d'accord?

HOBIE (smirking, he stands, not as tall as Miguel, but nearly so) Tell you what, mate. Let's settle this on stage. We'll let the crowd decide who's got the real chops.

MIGUEL (grinning fiercely, are those...fangs?) You're on, punk. Prepare to be schooled.

READER (interjecting, her eyes sparkling with amusement) Ah, mais non, Miggy. There's art in simplicity too. Punk, metal, it's all about the energy, the message, non? Who is your drummer, she sounds enchanting.

GABRIEL (nodding) She is, she's go this...energy. Pero, R's right, Miguel.

There is a not so subtle look that passes between the brothers, an undertone of: DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME MANO from Gabri, Miguel nearly rolls his eyes.

Music's music. Let's just focus on putting on a good show and maybe we can learn something from their band, eh?

HOBIE (winking at Reader) Aye, love. Can't wait to teach your wall of meat here a thing or two. Let's give 'em a show they won't forget...later?

READER (brightly, oblivious to the brothers' feelings) Later!

As Hobie saunters off, Miguel glares after him, his fists clenched. Gabriel places a calming hand on his brother's arm.

GABRIEL (softly) Easy, hermano. He's not worth it.

As Hobie leaves the bar, Reader shoots Miguel a disapproving look.

READER (oblivious to the brothers' feelings) Was that really necessary?

MIGUEL (shrugging) Just giving him a taste of what's to come. We're going to blow them away, R.

GABRIEL (sighing) I hope this doesn't get out of hand, their drummer is way better...I wanted to meet her.

READER (shrugs, trying to ease the tension) You will, I'll be yoru wingman, yeah? Gabri. You got this. And mano, Miguel... nothing wrong with being confident, but..just...save that aggro energy out on the stage. Come on, we're going to kick some ass!

MIGUEL (glaring at Hobie's retreating back) Don't tempt me. Let's go, carnalita, time for practice.

[kishavo]

plagued by memories tonight so I’m going to spit them up and hopefully that brings me relief.

I was an EMT for about 5 years and I think these things are tattooed on my bones. trigger warning under the cut for…upsetting healthcare-related experiences? and the f-slur

I remember bringing a wheelchair-bound elderly man up to his shoebox apartment in the inner city, 12 floors up a derelict building in a tiny, shaky elevator, and being hit with the stink of smoke as soon as I opened the door - cigarette butts stubbed out on every surface, ashtrays overflowing, carpet that started out as brown matted down to black. I offered to help him into bed but he refused. he took off his vietnam veteran baseball cap and picked up a stale pack of cigarettes and told me to go

I remember the man who had been attacked by his neighbors’ dogs, two Rottweilers. his legs were mangled; huge scoops of flesh just gone. he was kind. he asked me how my day was going.

I remember the dead woman in the ER who I was told to bag up and bring down to the morgue. she looked familiar. I remember putting a tag on her thumb but I don’t remember her name. I remember making small talk with the ER tech who was helping me on the elevator ride down to the basement. that sounds like the start of a joke, doesn’t it? a girl, a man, and a dead body get in an elevator. if you think of a punchline let me know

I remember the frequent-flyer patient with a chronic mystery skin infection that caused his legs to leak so much fluid that we had to wrap them in plastic bags or else the gurney would get flooded and it would soak into his pants and spill over the edge onto the floor of the ambulance. the first time I got his call I thought we’d been sent to a haunted house. it was an old victorian in downtown, made of rotting wood and peeling paint. The knob in the front door had been ripped out so I bent down and looked through. There was no answer when I knocked so I yelled ‘hello’ through the hole until eventually someone came down the stairs and silently let us in. Our patient’s apartment was one room, it was dark, it smelled, the bed was as dirty as the floor, beer cans and cigarettes everywhere. There was a tiny, square, box TV playing static. There were spoiled diapers kicked under his desk. He lived alone and apparently had no family. I and every EMT who had ever been sent there reported the situation to social services but nothing was ever done.

there was the woman coming down from a meth binge who kept asking me if I was going to eat her brains. we dropped her off at a psych facility and a few days later I was back with another patient. I saw her again, sober now. when she saw me she averted her eyes and retreated into her room

there was another woman in the middle of a severe psychotic episode who, within 5 minutes of meeting me, looked me dead in the eye and said, “You’re a fat fucking faggot and I want you to die.” She had pissed on all her personal belongings and the back of the ambulance stank so bad of stale human urine that I had to kick the fan on and spray air freshener into my face mask. She spent most of the call insulting and trying to spit on me and my partner. My partner snapped at her but I just ate it. Later, when we were outside cleaning the gurney and waiting for the next call, a stray cat slipped out from behind a nearby dumpster and curled around my boots. he booped my knuckles and mewled when I pet him and the night was good again

I remember being in and out of psych facilities so often and feeling like a fucking imposter because I was burning out, depressed out of my mind and regularly experiencing suicidal ideation. I wondered when I would call 911 and end up there myself. I wondered if it would be my coworkers who would pick me up. the thought of it scared me enough that I never made the call, even when I should have. I started getting high instead

I remember the middle-aged woman having a panic attack. that was at my on-location job, at my city’s arena, where all the concerts and games were held. it was a slow night and too many of us responded. this woman was hyperventilating, the bass from the concert was everywhere, and a crowd of strangers was closing in on her. I got there first, so by default it became my call, which always made me nervous. I sat her down, I kneeled in front of her, she grabbed my hands reflexively and I let her grip on. I coached her breathing. I waved my coworkers back to give her space. I convinced her that everyone there just wanted to help her and that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. it worked. I was soothing, and sure, and strong. it worked.

when it was over she held my shoulder and thanked me. patients don’t usually thank us. when it was over I went to the bathroom and cried. I handled it so well because I had been talking my mom down from her panic attacks for years.

I talked about that call in group therapy the week after. I thought I was going to be proud, that it would be a positive share, but I cried again.

when people ask about what it's like being an EMT, I don’t think they want to hear any of this, they only want the cool stories. they want to hear about the lights and the sirens and to thank you for your service but please, please, don’t. There’s a quote by Anaïs Nin: “I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.”

[dreamyfrill]

~45 Lolita questions~

1. Please tell us your Hand Name (name that’s used ONLY in internet.)

→Dream_frill

My given name is Yolanda. But nobody calls Yolanda, they use my diminutive Yoli. It is strange to me if anyone use Yolanda

2. About how long is your history as a Lolita?

→2 years, I have a long way to become a veteran

3. What first motivated you to do Lolita fashion?

→Since I was a child my dream was travel to Japan, but it was expensive and we can’t afford it. I save money and the life gives the opportunity to go to Japan, no only one time, 3 times.

I remember we went to Takeshita and go to Bodyline.

At first I was reluctant to wear it, because I live in a small town and I was afraid to get harrased (spoiler: it was all the opposite)

Then I decided to buy one dress and well…. Now I am a brand whore

4. After knowing Lolita fashion, have you had any time-gap or resistance till you actually started to be Lolita?

→Yes! Almost a year. Then I decided to become a Lolita and buy my first clothes

5. Please define your Lolita style as much as possible. (eg. gothic Lolita, sweet Lolita, white Lolita…. Etc).

→Sweet Lolita. Mostly I tried to recreate a Sweet Lolita in 2010. Sax, pink, mint, yellow… pigtails, heart-shaped bags, tea party shoes… I love it!

6. About how many Lolita friends do you have?

→I have mutuals, but no friends, I am the only Lolita in my town. I am like Momoko from Kamikaze girls

7. What is the best thing about doing Lolita?

→The happiness wearing it!! All the sorrow goes away immediately after wear it!!

8. Conversely, what's the worst thing?

→I am so lazy when it comes to wear Lolita to go somewhere. I spent between 30 minutes to 1h to styling the coord. And sometimes my friends meets in hookah lounge and in my/other house and I can show my coords. So I wear casual clothes

9. Which Lolita Brands do you like?

→Angelic Pretty!!! Now I am trying to get some Baby, the stars shine bright dresses!!

10. What was the first Lolita item that you’ve owned?

→Floral rose op mint colorway by Bodyline. I have it, but now don’t fit me pretty well and I don’t wear it much anymore

11. What is the “must have!” Lolita item?

→A good shoes. Our shoes hold all our weight everyday, minimum give them a good pair of shoes.

12. Do you wear drawers?

→I wear an old short trackie trousers as drawers, but I want to buy a good Lolita drawers

13. Do you have any favourite Japanese music?

→No a specific one. I hear music in Japanese, but not a specific singer/band

14. Where do you particularly visit as Lolita?

→Everywhere!! But specially in museums, gardens, events and in foreign countries

15. About how many times per week do you dress as Lolita?

→Hard to respond. It depends on the week and the things are programmed on the days

16. Please tell us about one embarrassing episode from the time when you were 
just beginning Lolita.

→Wear cat hears….

17. What's hairstyle and color that you think Lolita would suit the most?

→The hairstyle depends on the coord. Sweet pigtails, gothic a braid, classic loose hair…

The colour. Your hair colour is just fine

18. Have you ever thought of stopping Lolita? The reason?

→NEVEEEERRR!!＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

19. Please tell us your heart's bible as a Lolita. (anything like a book, magazine, CD, idol...)

→Misako Aoki, Mila de Blois, Hiroko Honda, Maki and Asuka

20. Do you own a doll? Tell us your feelings about her intensely!

→Nop. But I have a lot of plushies!!

21. What kind of make-up do you wear when you wear Lolita clothes?

→I don’t know how to do make up👉🏻👈🏻. But I want to learn it!

22. Have you ever secretly changed clothes in a train station bathroom on Lolita day-out?

→Nop! Thankfully my mom and husband do not care that I wear Lolita clothes

23. Are you composed when doing Lolita all by yourself?

→Yes! I go with a pepper gel spray when I go out, so I am not afraid

24. How much do you spend in your Lolita clothes & accessary monthly?

→Some months none, others I can spent 300€-400€ in Lolita fashion (it is because it is my birthday or I have save money)

25. What is the most expensive Lolita thing you've bought so far? How much was it?

→I think Misty Sky. All the set second hand including shipping and customs taxes was 450€

26. So far about how much has the expense been for Lolita goods?

→Sincerely, I don’t know…

27. Lolita outfit really costs money. How do you raise money to cover the cost of
 Lolita?

→Savings!!! Saving all the money I can and waiting for the money they gave to me in as Christmas, anniversary and birthday presents

28. Have you ever bought from an online store? If so, please tell us its good
 and bad points and some advice for the future. If not, please tell us why not.

→Angelic Pretty Paris. They answered my questions, the staff is kind, but It is expensive 🫠

29. Even if you sort of want to keep it a secret, please clandestinely tell us
 about a private manufacturer that is the best.

→I don’t know, sorry

30. Is there a brand and/or an item that you think, "I could never get it! But I unreasonably want it!"?

→As we say in Spanish “las cosas de palacio van despacio” so it is matter of time to have all my dream pieces

31. What do you think about people who only do Lolita at music-lives or cosplay?

→I don’t really care. The people is free to do whatever they want

32. From what age to what age is it acceptable to do Lolita? Do you think that there's a state in which someone must graduate from Lolita? (you can answer as ‘never graduate’)

→Never graduate

Do whatever it is makes you happy. Don’t leave yours hobbies because “don’t fit your age”

33. Is there a Lolita fashion or behavior that you think "I don't want Lolitas to do this!" about?

→Bully, discriminating or harassing others. The Lolita is a symbol of revolution and a safe space for everyone, not a symbol of discrimination

34. Is there something you think "Lolita has to be this way!" about?

→Evidently you must follow some rules, besides that you can do whatever you want. For example: if you want to wear trainers, you can do it, but do not wear bright fabric, because it gonna looks like a cheap costume

35. While doing Lolita, has something changed from earlier than you did Lolita?

→I wish I joined the fashion early, much before, when the prieces where normal and not a so exorbitant. Puppet circus was between 150€-300€ and no 1800€

36. Do you go to school/work as Lolita?

→In my school and workplace there is an uniform, so I can’t wear Lolita :P

37. Do you wear Lolita clothes as casual wear?

→Sometimes. When I go to my capital city or going somewhere like bowling alley or a museum

38. Do you have a boyfriend (or husband)? Do you understand each other? (I think she meant “Does he understand you (as lolita)?”)

→Yes! Absolutely! He is very understanding about EGL fashion. He even helps me to do my cords and ties my back bow in the dress :D

39. What do the people around you think of your doing Lolita? Do they accept it?

→My family and friends are very understanding about my wear choices. They never seems to hate it

40. What kind of Lolita is who has impressed you the most up until now?

→So many. My favorites are sweet ott 2010

41. Have you ever made your own Lolita clothing or/and accessories? If so, what was the best item that you’ve made?

→I don’t know how to do it. But I want to learnᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

42. If you have an ideal Lolita outfit or coordination, please tell us.

→I don’t have one really

43. Is there a motif that you think “this is a symbol of Lolita”?

→Maybe crowns, flowers, sweets and stars

44. Would you want to dress your children as Lolita?

→Nop! I want kids, but I want them to be free. If the want to be Lolita, gyaru, goth or punk I will support them :)

45. What’s your image of the ideal Lolita?

→There is some Lolitas I really like their coords

[remembertheplunge]

Two men with no choice but to be there

May 18, 1995

Donald had a stroke. He was too ill to talk to me tonight on the phone. Pat was there, caring for them both, Donald and his Mom. I said I’d be there Sunday AM for a visit.

May 21, 1995

Drove to Patterson to take Donald donuts and fresh flowers. He and his Mom were thrilled.

Donald now loses his hearing.

May 22, 1995. Monday

Talked with Donald tonight. He sounded drifty, floating. Yet, he was crystal precise as to fact and time. I told him that I was very concerned about his physical deterioration. His 84 year old Mom can’t care for him alone.

July 6, 1995

 My Mom said to me tonight “Don’t match up with a person with Aids again soon…I’m worried about your mental health.”

July 11, 1995. Tuesday

Los Gaviotas  Restaurant in Patterson threw a big 5 year anniversary party tonight. There I sat, writing my notes and enjoying the spray of events! Then on to Donald, and then to his Mom’s, and then back to Donald.

Donald sees men in his room One man is in a tank top. One looks like his boy friend. They are men who are not there, at least our eyes. They at times speak to Donald.

I’m so glad that Donald is in the hospital. He needs that close care. But, how much longer must he endure this?

July 14, 1995

Sweet time with Donald. Such an alone experience. Two men with no choice but to be there (Donald and I)…one giving a back rub, one receiving it. I asked him “When all is gone, what’s left? What’s the meaning? He said He’d go to a gay bar in Stockton. (after death) I said “Where is the meaning there? He said “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” I said “ You have handled this so graciously. You are so kind (Donald now being nearly blind due to complications caused bt Aids),  He said “Oh great, I get the posthumous award?” I said “ Yea, a great thing!” A nurse wanted to show him pictures of her grand kids. He tried , but he could not see them. She, wearing her badge complete with Aids red ribbon, then proceeded to tell him what they looked like, what they wore.. Fuck the eyes! He’s got ears. As one nurse walked by laughing, he yelled out, catting around with her.

I massage him, especially his back. He loves that.

 Around 5pm, he started yelling for home. His Mom was there.The nurses and I tried to console him. This is home, as horrifying as it is.

July 16, 1995

I again didn’t visit Donald. 2 days away now. Poor dear thing. My whole soul and being however are with him. I just needed breathing space.

July 17, 1995

Sweet time with Donald tonight. He wants to die happy, meaning, with the knowledge that he will be remembered.

He feels abandoned now by friends and family and by and large , he has been abandoned. Yet, his Mom is very devoted. Pat was there tonight and Donald’s friend Bob showed up. Even in this advanced stage  of Aids, Donald wants to score!

July 18, 1995

A visit again with sweet Donald. He floats in and out of full and of partial hallucinations. He goes hot, then cold, in a minute.

July 28, 1995

Rodney died yesterday at 11am. Lots of gasping, per the nurse. Rodney’s Mom had just stepped out. The nurse ran to get her. His sister was not there. Donald and his Mom set feet away, in their space. Grueling beauty. Unspeakable. (Rodney was Donald’s Aids patient room mate. They were patients in the  Patterson hospital , where the last stage Aids patients in Stanislaus county were sent Note. 2/12/2024)

July 29, 1995

Donald said as I left today “You made me happy.” He made me happy, too. I had purchased a card for Rodney , his roomy who died. Donald’s Mom, his friend Randy and I signed it. So will the hospital staff. That meant a lot to Donald. And, I brought him flowers which he can’t see, but that he appreciates. His Mom can see them however.

White flowers for brevity of life and for peace.

[tanthamoretober]

Here's our roundup of the fics posted in the Tanthamoretober collection for week 2 (or 2ish)

Don’t forget to leave a comment if you liked a fic!

Day 8: Harvest

Festival Ideas by Anarik Rating: Teen and up Summary: “Where have you been?” Kit retorts, crossing her arms. “Come on. It’ll be fun. And you’re the only person I know with the necessary balls to do it.”

“You don’t really know me, though.”

“True. But I’ve heard and seen things.”

Now that takes Jade by surprise. (also appears under the prompts ‘witchcraft’ and ‘voyeurism’)

Take My Hand and Take Me Anywhere by Silver85 Rating: General audiences Summary: Kit hates the Harvest Festival but a pretty woman asked her to go. Who was she to say no? Part 8 of Loving Me Loving You, (AWOOOO)

petrichor- the smell exuded by plants during dry periods by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Teen and up Summary: pumpkin picking! (also appears under the tags 'voyeurism’ (mildly!) and ‘witchcraft’) Part 8 of Show Don't Tell

Day 9: Rainy Day

My Own Kind of Light, Chapter 5: Rainy Day, by slvershdws Rating: Teen and up Summary: Sixteen-year-old Kit Tanthalos meets visiting nineteen-year-old Jade Claymore at an Autumn Festival and it’s the start of a friendship that grows over the years into something neither expected, nor can they agree on what it is.

Until they do.

You Make This A Home. Stay With Me. by Silver85 Rating: Teen and up Summary: Kit hasn't been honest with Jade about what the bite means. Part 9 of Loving Me Loving You, (AWOOOO)

love of mine by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Teen and up Summary: i have decided to give them all of the quiet and soft moments that I would want on my fall break

Lili is the wyrm and she is the WORM

you have full permission to hate this version

Part 9 of Show Don't Tell

Day 10: Scarecrow

perfect by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Explicit Summary: jade and kit are gathering leaves to stuff their scarecrows with and kit sees a mugging! (also appears under the prompts ‘mirror sex’ and ‘help isn’t coming’) Part 10 of Show Don't Tell

Day 11: Haunted

cold steel, warm wax by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Explicit Summary: Jade has another one of those nightmares and as always, kit is there

(also appears under the prompts ‘knifeplay’ and ‘cursed’ Part 11 of Show Don't Tell

Day 12: Horror movie marathon

inside by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Explicit Summary: kit is feeling particularly needy and wants jade to spend the day with her in bed 'watching movies' (also appears under the prompts ‘orgasm denial’ and ‘locked in’) Part 12 of Show Don't Tell

Day 13: Jumping in a leaf pile

Dreams Pale to Reality by Silver85 Rating: Teen and up Summary: Kit finds her family jumping in the leaves and it's a perfect fall day. Part 4 of Alpha Kit

rolling in the leaves by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Explicit Summary: so i did this as a kid with trash bags, where we filled them with fallen leaves and set them up to look like a huge spider and spray painted a face on it. i think the idea would come across kit's tiktok or interest and she would feel the deep need to do this at airk's house and just... not tell him (also appears under the prompts ‘abduction’ and ‘impact play’) Part 13 of Show Don't Tell

Day 14: Warm Drinks

lace and silk and mesh by Geek_and_Nina Rating: Explicit Summary: kit winds down from a day out with elora and airk and texts her girlfriend whom she misses A LOT (also appears under the prompt ‘dirty talk’ and ‘prank gone wrong’) Part 14 of Show Don't Tell

Bright Smiles Warm Drinks by Silver85 Rating: General audiences Summary: Jade and Kit have their first date. Part 11 of Loving Me Loving You, (AWOOOO)

My Own Kind of Light, chapter 6, Warm drinks, by slvershdws Rating: Teen and up Summary: Sixteen-year-old Kit Tanthalos meets visiting nineteen-year-old Jade Claymore at an Autumn Festival and it’s the start of a friendship that grows over the years into something neither expected, nor can they agree on what it is.

Until they do.

Day 25: Black cat

these walls come tumbling down by OnlySheStandsThere Rating: Teen and up Summary: Veterinarian Jade Claymore hits a panther with her truck one night, only for the panther to turn out to be a very attractive girl who needs medical attention, a place to stay, and maybe something more.

Finally, here's the link to Autumn, Week One

Want to join in? See this post for the complete list of autumnal prompts for the rest of October.

[supernova1us]

If I had creative control of how the Sonic movie series progresses going forward.

Also warning of potential minor spoilers from Sonic 3 in this discussion.

Sonic 4

would basically explore the relationship between sonic and amy(very Boom sonic and amy dynamic). it would be discovered the ark destruction sent robotnik into an alternate dimension, where he's been for 10 years, from his perspective, trapped but rebuilding his robots and resources, the gem of which was the metal sonics. exploiting the unstable nature of the dimension, he was able to send the prototype metal sonic back through time in an attempt to kill young sonic. in sonics world, the metal sonic threatens young amy, only for a passing sonic to inadvertently save her and cause its destruction. amy was enamored with and inspired by sonic and dedicated herself to getting stronger to meet him again. In the present, froggy, the partner of amy's friend big the cat, hops though a ring gate to earth after seeing a chaos emerald through it, which he then eats. big and amy go after him, while themselves being followed by sticks the badger. on earth amy saw footage of sonic and knew it was destiny, as her tarot cards foretold they would meet again. she found sonic just as robotnik sent more metal sonics after him. they would soon find froggy and he, big and sticks would just chill with and annoy tom and maddie, who are now anxiously expecting their first child, a source of stress for sonic as well. a running gag would also be sticks' paranoid beliefs about technology are common and normal things on earth, maddening her. robotnik contacts stone and has him start preparing a machine to help guide robotnik back to earth and is sent a malfunctioning metal sonic to aid him. the movie would then be sonic, amy, tails and knuckles following stone and metals trail to try to stop robotnik from returning. the metal sonic would eventually prove he does not have evil in him and changes sides, even as robotnik successfully returns with a whole army of robots. the ending would also have sonic sadly decide to leave the Wachowskis for their own safety as he continues to fight the returned robotnik. sonic, amy, knuckles and tails would go looking for robotnik and a new place to live while big/froggy and sticks just kinda do their own things. stone would also die sacrificing himself to save robotnik in the chaos. mid credits scene would see the malfunctioning metal sonic wandering and finding cans of black and yellow spray paint. the after-credit scene would show the president revealing they believe shadow to be alive and tasks his agent to track him down, who is then revealed to be rouge the bat.

Shadow the hedgehog movie

it would mostly show a brooding shadow hiding and doing his own thing, including hunting down corrupt G.U.N. branches and searching old instillations of Geralds on clues to more of his history. he is eventually found by rouge, who acts like she is innocently tagging along while updating the president on shadows activities. both are being hunted by the rogue agents Mason and Willoughby, secretly sent by the new head of G.UN., Commander Tower. shadow and rouge then find an old lab of robotniks and the jaded, abandoned guard robot omega. it joins them with the intent of getting revenge on robotnik and any other robots he built. eventually Mason and Willoughby get access to powerful mech suits robotnik had built and clash with the trio. the trio overpower the agents and, though given the chance, shadow refuses to kill them. having been monitoring these events through rouge's tracker, Tower realizes shadow was not the monster he'd been built up to be and agrees to only monitor him for now. the credits scene would have robotnik discovering hieroglyphics about the being Choas, and footage showing that it was freed by the breaking of the master emerald in sonic 2.

Sonic 5 & 6

these two would be a two-parter and basically an adaption of sonic adventure; it feels like there is too much to try and squeeze into one film. beginning would show team sonic now living in a massive, multi-leveled treehouse home(KND style), with big, froggy and sticks having also moved in. robotnik would be attempting to race team sonic and team shadow for the chaos emeralds with the intent to give them to chaos and use his power. this would bring all parties and individuals together to deal with the crisis. after everything sonic would also briefly reunite with the Wachowskis to meet his baby adoptive sibling. i also imagine the conclusion would also play out like in sonic X after the battle with chaos, where the use of the emeralds inadvertently transports parts of sonics world to earth, resulting in the intros of the chaotix, fang, cream & vanilla and others. as his home, angel island, was also transported, knuckles decides to return there with the master emerald but says he and sonic are brothers now and he would come if sonic needed ever needed him. the credits would also show commander tower reveal to the president a new secret G.U.N. project to possibly counteract sonic if he ever became trouble; Surge and Kit.

The chaotix movie

the chaotix detective agency are on the case when a string of high value thefts occur. after first wrongly accusing rouge, they are on the trail of the real culprit, fang. unknown to the trio, the diamond cutters trio and mighty & ray, are all also following the same trail for different reason. also in the chase is a famed but inept human detective who has been the chaotix rival. the finale would be on angle island and involve both knuckles and the master emerald. possibility of the conclusion seeing the formation the Knuckles Chaotix. credit scene would show a more unstable eggman conversing with a new droid assistant with the personality of stone when he is approached by Conquering storm, who offers the warriors of her clan in service to him in an alliance.

Sonic 7

basically a very rough adaption of Sonic the hedgehog 2006. differences would be that rather than iblis/solaris stuff, the future would simply be in ruin, and blaze and silver are led to believe, by eggman nega, that the battle between sonic/tails and robotnik in the past caused it. egging on their self-righteous devotion to saving their future, he creates a machine that sends the three back in time to destroy them. silver and blaze then begin hunting their way through sonics allies to get to him while nega goes to deal with robotnik. robotnik, stone 2.0 and conquering storm would be starting the groundwork of the Eggman empires big move, as in addition to her clan, many human groups have also pledged loyalty to robotnik. its revealed that the "threat" that nega showed silver and blaze was actually the work of the now freed surge and kit, who run rampant while the future fighters distract sonics team. eventually all parties converge and defeat surge and kit, unraveling naga's lies, while also offering a skeptical surge and kit chances at redemption, as well as silver and blaze. the threat of the ultimate clash between the Eggman's draws all parties before both Dr's turn their attention on sonic. the finale would see both eggmans banished to another dimension with the chaos emeralds by sonic. the repentant silver and blaze would return to their future to begin rebuilding while surge and kit go off on their own. final scene has a birthday celebration for sonic with all his friends and allies, including the Wachowskis and wade.

Possible surge and kit spinoff movie

[gregoriahy]

🌟🛸GNERZLX THE GNARPIAN LEADER!🛸🌟

(DO NOT REPLY/TRACE/COPY/BE INSPIRED BY MY ARTS/OCS!)

You are free to ask: Questions and Fanarts of Gnerzlx!

If you are interested in seeing the facts and extra facts about Gnerzlx: Read these things below! Enjoy. :)

↓

• FUN FACTS ABOUT GNERZLX!

•The name "Gnerzlx" is NOT Gnerzlx's real name, in fact; Gnerzlx has no name, it's just a nickname he gave himself so that it would be easier to mention him.

•If Gnerzlx is sprayed many times; Gnerzlx would turn to the player and say: "NUH-HUH, ENOUGH OF THIS. I HAVE ENDURED MORE THAN I COULD WITH YOU, DIE." and after that, Gnerzlx would punch the player.

•Gnerzlx can't understand jokes, because he's always serious about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING; but, when Gnerzlx gets the joke, Gnerzlx would be silent in 5 seconds and then start laughing at the joke.

•Gnerzlx is 21 years old!

•Gnerzlx may have some symptoms of ADHD, sometimes this can be visible.

•Gnerzlx understands some cat language, but doesn't know how to speak cat language.

•If Gnerzlx could create an OC, his oc would be some kind of dog or fox.

•Gnerzlx cannot identify with any gender, so they can be referred to as xe/xem/xry or any pronouns. (In other words, he is gender fluid! Xe doesn't care about pronouns.)

BONUS:

•Gnerzlx is asexual.

•Gnerzlx HATES water and when the player sprays himself, Gnerzlx would quickly begin to desperately get the water out of his fur.

•Gnerzlx would listen to Sodikken or Jazmin Bean because he thinks the songs sound interesting to him.

•Gnerzlx thinks normal cats are weird, but at the same time he thinks they're cute.

[pplatonic]

Baby's First Pride

I'm 16 and a half years old. I came out to my parents inspired by a story at my school's GSA - just walk up the stairs and call it out. I was terrified, but they were accepting, and I learnt that my brother has trans friends and that Mom even experimented with girls when she was a teen. It's 5:10 PM, so it's probably time to go to the pride event Mom has been talking about all week. She said her boss told her about it, and that it's all ages. I get dressed in my Hatsune Miku cosplay, drape my Aromantic pride flag around my shoulders, and tie the ends in a reef knot around my neck to wear it as a cape.

I go downstairs, putting my Miku wallet in my bag, and take a short video of me twirling around to send it to my friends captioned 'ARO MIKU IS GOING TO PRIDE.' When I get outside, my parents and Mom's friend coo at my outfit, saying I look nice. They say goodbye to Mom's friend and they get ready, and they stop at Walmart to buy 'pride gear' to try and match my look. They get me pins, because they know I love pins.

I listen to my playlist of Magical Mirai albums as Dad drives us to the pride event. He does an illegal U-turn, and I tell him cops aren't allowed at pride, so we're okay. We park.

When we get there, the first thing we notice is all the food trucks. We ate before we came here, because they didn't think there'd be food. The first thing we do is Mom and Dad get alcoholic canned drinks, and they later buy me a cold vanilla latte at a different booth. We start walking around.

Mom's more interested in the concert being held by a queer artist who's name I didn't catch, and she jokes about us going to mosh there. I tell her it's dangerous and that I'm wearing my binder right now, and my dad comments that he didn't even notice.

While we're standing and waiting around, Dad perplexedly exclaims that there's a bar. I tell him as a joke that of course there's a bar, this is pride. He doesn't get it, so I explain the history of gay bars and the Mafia and all of that, and tell him the original pride parade was a protest where parking meters were uprooted and bricks were thrown at cops.

We start walking around to the several booths of queer creatives selling their art, and my eyes are battling between scouting for pins and looking at all the kinds of people here. It's truly all ages, from seniors to toddlers. I see as many visibly disabled and plus-size people as I do visibly abled and skinny people. When we first started walking in to the event, we saw a person in a cutesy lolita-styled outfit with cat ears and tail in the trans colours, in front of someone embracing their trans flag.

As I look around, I see various flags: bi, pan, lesbian, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid. On a couple people's shirts I see the ace flag. But as far as I'm aware, I'm the only person here in this entire crowd wearing the Aromantic flag. It's bittersweet, to be the sole representation of your people.

I see people in all styles of clothing as well: goth, punk, alternative, grunge, trendy, cute, casual, retro. I see some people standing out in absolutely fabulous outfits with sequins everywhere. I see a dog in a gay-coloured tutu, and a person with pride-coloured butterfly wings on their arms. Half the people here have dyed hair of some kind.

We sit down and take a break. It's near the mini waterpark nearby, which makes it fresh and cool-feeling and perfect for a break. A child with endless joys in their heart ends up spraying us with water, and we get a move on. I go around to multiple booths and buy an assortment of pins, one that says "I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT" and one with a fuzzy Aro-coloured animal on it.

When we sit for a final break, I find two dirty books on the ground as Mom hands me a progress flag pin she found. I pick up the books. One is a 'queer history tour' of Edmonton brochure that has multiple locations of down-town and their associated queer histories. The other book is a mental wellness book targeted mainly at Indigenous folk, but I decide to take it any way since a lot of it advice applies to everyone. I show my Mom the page on ableist language, that talks about replacing words like 'crazy,' 'insane,' and 'psycho' with words like 'wild,' 'bananas,' and 'ridiculous.'

When we start walking back to the car, we see a group of four dressed ridiculously. One of them has massive, bouncing balloon tits, and they stand out the most. I'm afraid of what my parent's reaction will be, and this is what I told them to be nice about before we came, because pride was and still is a protest. They laugh and move on. I'm a little surprised that they're so cool with it.

We stop by the truck at the very start of the walk as Mom comments on it. It's a kink gear store. I stare in awe at the bear pride flag and leather puppy pride flag, telling my family about them. I have to ask one of them to confirm it's the leather puppy flag because I'm not wholly sure, and the people running the truck smile as they teach me about it.

We drive home, and as we walk back to the house, I think about Mom and Dad's reaction to the person with the balloon tits. I think about how they laughed kindly at one of the biggest displays of societal norm defiance I've ever seen. And then I think about the openly disabled people I saw with their pretty canes and wheelchairs, I think about the punks with fishnets and leather jackets and high boots, I think about the emo kandi kids with their black-and-rainbow stockings and vibrant kandi cuffs, I think about the booth run by African black people that stood for trans black liberation, I think about the truck run by kinksters decorated with historical flags, I think about the two feminine-presenting people I saw kissing and the transmasculine gay couple I saw holding hands.

I think about all of us, the societal outcasts that we are, proudly displaying what outcasted us in the first place, without a single person yelling that we're faggots, or trannies, or cripples, or fatasses, or freaks.

And for the first time in a long time, in all my childhood where I was ostracized from the girls for being too tomboyish from the boys for being born a girl, so badly until I started ostracizing myself, I know that I'm safe and welcome, somewhere in the world.

[recoveringhopefulsoul]

July 5, 2024

Today is Lia's first birthday. I can't believe my baby kitten is now a year old! She'll still be technically in a kitten age group until she's 2, even though she transitions to adult food now. She was so shocked when I brought out her kitten broth, her old food and her new food (which she LOVES), and her birthday treats. They're actually called Birthday even though it's lobster and beef flavored.

After losing Willow at only 8 months old, I have been so overprotective of Lia. Now that she's a year old, I may be able to loosen up a little. We'll see. Lia gave me lot of cuddles this morning until she said, "Mommy, that's enough," by giving me a slight (non-painful) bite on my forearm. That's her cue for "I don't want to be picked up right now" or "I want down now".

Anyway, I am here now drinking my coffee. I am still recovering from all the days I spent out this past week. Thankfully, I didn't sleep until noon today, only until 10, so I'm getting back to my usual. Although, there were a lot of fireworks here last night, and due to trauma things, it's very hard to calm my body down enough to fall asleep. They went past midnight, which honestly is disrespectful. Fireworks need to stop at 10pm, and the latest (on the holiday itself) at 11pm.

Lia kept looking at me when they started going off, and I told her what they were and gave her a safe space in the closet where she could go. I left a spot open in there, when I redid my closet, that would be just for her to go to and rest. I put her bed in there with her toys, gave her some catnip treats, sprayed some lavender under the blankets on my bed so it wouldn't be overly strong for her but would still be relaxing, and put on some kitty music that had a cat purring. After a while, we both were pretty desensitized to them, which I was grateful for. I am getting better with them so I don't go into trauma flashbacks anymore, and that's an amazing thing.

I think, no, I know, there's a part of me that is upset with my weight. I am on day 3 or 4 of my cycle, so some of it is from that, but it's higher than what I would like it to be. It's not interfering, as far as I know, with what I need to be doing for myself, but it is aggravating my exercise urges which makes the urge to not do anything even stronger because I'm afraid of being unable to stop exercising once I start. It's a conundrum, right? It's what makes doing my PT exercises so difficult! I am glad that I'm going to be starting PT up again in August since I'll have that support, but that also means that I may have to try driving every now and then.

Driving still causes me so much anxiety! It's because I've blacked out at the wheel numerous times, gotten extremely lightheaded, or end up dissociating further than what is normal while driving. (As in a lot of people dissociate while driving, like accidentally going to work instead of the store, and yes that is dissociation, I've studied this for my graduate degree, but mine is more like blocking out hours at a time or just the whole trip and not remembering even driving there to begin with). But they know this at the PT office, so the last time I had to do this, they've told me that if I'm in a place that it would be unsafe to drive, to call them, and we would reschedule the best we could. Thankfully I only had to do that once in the 3-4 months of PT I had for my right leg.

Mom and Gamma are coming over for a bit today since they'll be in town. They are going to sing Happy Birthday to Lia, so that will be nice. The baby is probably so confused since cats have no concept of these things, but it makes special memories for their humans, so they put up with it. LOL