#4x05 meta

[sammaggs]

4x05 The Ladies’ Man | Details

due South is a show that puts a TON of time and effort into subtle details like set dec, blocking, and framing, which invites us to do close readings of particular scenes in great detail. Let’s examine this scene in Ray’s apartment from The Ladies’ Man with that in mind!

Another thing I find fascinating about this show is its continuity; how significant time can pass between episodes, and it’s up to us to use context clues provided in future episodes in order to piece together what we can about the past; the parts of Fraser’s life that we haven’t been permitted to see. This scene is crammed with context clues.

(It’s worth remembering that John Krizanc, who wrote this episode, is a playwright first and foremost. He basically invented the style of play that would go on to become Sleep No More. The way characters phrase things, where they’re standing when they say them, what they surround themselves with—these things all matter.)

So in order, we learn:

Fraser lets himself in — By this point in Season 4, he has a key to Ray’s apartment.

“You there, Ray?” “Mhm.” — Fraser comes over so often that 1) he doesn’t call ahead, and b) it doesn’t matter if Ray is home or not. Ray doesn’t even feel the need to sit up when Fraser enters, let alone answer with words. This is long-time familiarity.

The Hat - Fraser automatically tosses his hat down on a stool that’s been pulled out from the bar and remains there for this specific purpose. That’s where Fraser’s hat lives when he’s over.

Diefenbaker - The wolf is so comfortable at Ray’s place that he jumps on top of Ray to his usual spot on the couch. Reading Dief as Fraser’s Ego, he bounds into the apartment, directly onto Ray’s LAP before LICKING RAY’S FACE. Okay!

The VCR - Fraser knows how to use Ray’s VCR and his TV remote. Those of us who were alive in the ‘90s know how much practice this would have taken. (Also, hand porn, you’re welcome.)

Seating arrangements — Fraser sits right next to Ray, who sits directly in the center of the couch, between cushions. Cannot be comfortable, but their legs and arms are touching. Their usual spots? Fraser sits ON TOP OF Dief to do this.

“Bark tea?” — Ray immediately starts teasing Fraser about his flirtation with the records gal for information. It’s teasing without intent or malice; Ray knows it was just a front, like Fraser knows Ray’s barbs are just for fun.

“What, I’m a pig?” “No, no, not that.” — This is an old grievance. This is not the first time Ray’s apartment cleanliness has come up. It’s something they’ve bickered about many times before. No, no, not that, not the usual. Something else.

The Turtle - The shot lingers on the overhead here to remind us that the macguffin note is in the VHS case, but also serves to focus in on the turtle sculpture. It’s made to catch your eye, which means we are meant to infer something about it; otherwise, it’s an unimportant, out-of-place distraction from the shot’s real purpose (again, the VHS case). Given what I perceive to be the turtle's Indigenous style, I think this is clearly a gift from Fraser (maybe from the previous Christmas?). He either had it shipped down from a friend up north, or he whittled it himself, and I like to think it’s the latter. Fraser does, after all, think Ray is the world.

TL;DR Fraser is basically living there, oh my god these cops gay, good for them, good for them

[raayllum]

Desperate

[gallavich-headcanon]

Do you know what I think about this moment?

I think it was the first time Mickey realized that someone knew about him and Ian and was cool with it. The first time he realized Ian told someone. I can't help but wonder what he felt in that moment, to know that someone he doesn't trust (but Ian does) knew about him, about them, and didn't use it against him. "You gonna make me spell it out?" Lip knew he had to give him something to get his cooperation, but he was sensitive about it. They are in front of the Milkovich house, he can't say anything too blunt but he's not there to play games either.

I bet Mickey has been worried about Ian for a while, but figured Ian kept his family in the loop. They have done the silent treatment before (Mickey after 3x666, Ian during juvie 2.0). So I'm guessing he figured Ian just didn't talk to him. He knows what it means that Lip came to him - Lip was desperate. Mickey tries to play it cool but you can see this visit filled him with worry.

I also think it was the first time Lip realized what Ian means to Mickey. Before Ian left, Lip kept teasing about how much Ian could do better. But to be honest Lip only got to see only the front that Mickey was putting in public. A front Mickey curated exactly so people would stay away from him, so it makes sense.

But for the first time he noticed that Ian meant a lot to Mickey. When Lip was ready to move on, Mickey asked him more questions. He wanted to know more, he was worried. The "I'll tell you when I find out" means that Lip got it. He saw what Mickey wanted to say and met him half way.

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and that confrontation at the morgue

I am a wreck, ruined, RUINED I tell you. Nancy and Ace are putting us through it this season, and I am both absolutely here for it and SOBBING IN A CORNER. Seriously, the angst is DELICIOUS.

Sidenote: Can we talk about costumes for this episode? Ace is wearing a variation of what he wore when they kissed - white/pale blue t-shirt with a blue shirt over it (because emotionally he’s still there). And Nancy is wearing the colours of Ace’s bedspread from the night that they finally opened up and talked and she told him everything. Just in case you needed your feels smacked some more.

It’s so painful right from the start - they’re finally in the same room as each other (yay) but oh boy Nancy is not engaging. She’s gone from heart eyes every time she catches a glimpse of Ace to not even looking at him. And he’s desperate for her attention still, he can’t bear it, taking every opportunity to stand near her, try and catch her eye, literally moves away from everyone else to stand close enough that she falls over him when she stands up in the woods. 

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

She’s angry and hurt and who can blame her? Nancy has a long standing relationship with abandonment issues and they are coming to bite her with a vengeance with Ace. He has triggered every single response from her by telling her they can’t be together and then walking away. Ace is doing it because sacrifice is one of his love languages, but Nancy only sees that she’s not enough, they’re not enough, these feelings, they’re not enough to make him stay. 

So she’s been physically avoiding him until she can’t, and now she’s eye contact and emotionally avoiding him until he snaps later in the episode. Because Ace is patient. Ace has always been patient - he’s the steadfast rock at Nancy’s side, always there at her shoulder with reassurance and quips and a half smile with a gentle heart. And he’s trying to slip back into that role, even though it’s killing him not to be able to reach out, touch her, hold her, kiss her. He keeps trying and she keeps rebuffing him. 

When he’s tracking down their artefact hunter his body language is open, cautiously optimistic. This is their sweet spot, the place where personal space blurs and they’re caught up in the thrill of two minds working as one cohesive whole to solve a problem. Only Nancy immediately draws a line in the sand. She brings a stool over, sets it a couple of feet away, refuses to do her usual trick of leaning over Ace to look at the screen. He leans over to point at something on the paper and she flinches away from his hand.

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

That’s the moment. That’s the point where Ace can’t take it anymore. He closes off, turns away, stops looking directly at her. And that carries on when she arrives at the morgue at 8:58 to hand back the teeth.

Nancy is looking stunning, but he doesn’t look at her, barely acknowledges her except to bite off that he’ll see her when he’s next useful to her. Because she's acting like she's the only one hurting, when he's carved open and bleeding in front of her. 

And this is it, finally, finally his patience has run out and he knows Nancy isn’t one to back away from a fight and she doesn’t disappoint him now. Because he has to provoke her into talking to him, has to do something, anything, to break down the walls that she’s built between them. Colleagues, he can’t live with that, he has to lance the wound, clean out, make something new from it even if it hurts them both to do it.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He still can’t look at her though, everything about this hurts, because he’s spent every moment since he walked away from her coming to terms with the fact that she’s the love of his life (he already knew it on some level but kissing her, holding her, having a taste of what they could have been has confirmed it in ways he never expected) and he doesn’t feel he can have her. Doesn’t feel like it’s fair to her, because as long as they’re cursed (and he’s not prepared to risk her life again trying to break it thanks) he can only give her half a relationship. They can be there emotionally for each other, have already proven how intimate that can be, but the physical side will never be an option whilst the curse is in place, and now they’ve had a taste… They could barely keep their hands to themselves before they had any idea what kissing each other would be like, what hope would they have now having had a tiny sliver of it? It’s been something noticeable about Ace in every episode since he found out about the curse, how still he is, how carefully he holds himself so he doesn’t accidentally reach for her and trigger it.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And he raises his voice - Ace never raises his voice. He’s quiet and soft spoken and everything about this shows how stretched to breaking point he is. By Nancy, the lack of her, the fact she’s finally here and acting like she’s the only one that has any right to hurt just because he walked away. The fact that that was the best damn kiss of his life and he’ll never get to experience it again. The fact that he loves her. And he’s finally admitting it (to himself, to her) he loves her so much, more than anything or anyone, and he doesn’t really believe he’ll ever feel that way again, not how he does about her. Everything else is a pale imitation of how he feels about Nancy. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He is so close to breaking, because Nancy is calling him out for walking away, but she doesn’t get it yet, hasn’t listened, hasn’t understood why he did it. He wasn’t abandoning her, he wasn’t taking the easy way out, he was sacrificing how he felt for the chance that she has a full and happy and love filled life, even if it’s without him.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

It bubbles out of him, pulling back the skin to reveal the desperately beating heart beneath. He walked away from her and it nearly killed him. To stay with her and her heartbreak would have killed him too. Not living with her, being near her, holding her, kissing her is killing him. And he has lived with that heartbreak, that desperate attempt to be bigger than his wants, to set her free because of how much he loves her. It has pounded in his blood with his heartbeat, it has dogged every step between his flat and the morgue, a litany in his head as he worked in silence with the absence of her that he loves, he loves, he loves her. And he walked away. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

What would I say? He didn’t have the words, barely has the words now to articulate how painful this has been, how painful it continues to be. And she’s there and she’s not listening and the emotion is choking him. 

He walks away because he can’t, he can’t bear it, any of it, it’s too much, he wishes he hadn’t started this because he wants her in his life but god this is just too much, too hard, too raw. And she presses his buttons and calls him out and finally he has the words. He turns back and his voice is soft and choked with emotion, it is an effort to get them out but he speaks to her.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And finally she listens. Stunned and heart broken, but she hears him at last.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

As he tells her over and over and over how much he loves her. And he’s not said it. Neither of them had dared to, had spoken around and around their feelings when they were trying to break the curse. But now, his heartbreak has cracked him open and his heart has been in her safe keeping for so long and he needs her to understand.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

They have been through so much - hardship and pain and grief and despair and now this, this beautiful shining light of his love and his voice is thick with tears and Nancy just wants to comfort him, hold him, show him how much she loves him in return. She’s been telling everyone around them he’s her soul mate, her person, the best kiss of her life, her love, but now she wants to show him and she moves in, reaches for him.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And for a moment, a split second, barely more than a heartbeat, he leans into her too, head tilting, hands lifting of their own accord - it’s muscle memory, his body knows exactly how to step in to hold her, to kiss her just so. Before it all comes crashing down and he remembers himself and the curse and he can’t, pushes her away without ever touching her (never touching, not even for this).

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He is so close to tears as he tells her we can’t, steeling himself against the pain, the want, the desperate need that runs through him. Eyes shut against the vision of her, so soft and filled with want and love. Can’t help the flick of his eyes to her lips because this is the closest they’ve been since they kissed and the phantom press of her lips against his is too much, too real, too close and desperate.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

They reach an understanding of sorts, as painful as it is. Not quite friends - it’s still too fresh, too real, too much like an epic love they couldn’t ever touch. And it is painful and filled with raw longing and grief. And still Ace holds himself rigid to stop himself from sinking into her, because no matter what he says about other people, she’s it for him, there will never be anyone he loves as much as Nancy.

GIF Credit @nancy-drew

If after all that angst you’re in the mood for some curse breaking and kissing, check out my post 4x04 fic here!

[tremorsmackenzie]

i just rewatched 4x05 and noticed may putting daisy on the ground after the guy almost strangled her to death before she started fighting, while coulson covered them. ah my heart...

[teruel-a-witch]

tfw your husband's partner's surrogate Dad calls you out on acting married

👀👀👀👀👀

actual scene someone wrote of Steve's Training Officer, a decorated veteran of the United States Navy (correctly) identifying Danny as Steve's spouse (and not the woman who occasionally sleeps over at Steve's house and even happens to be prominent in this episode).

Danny's deer-in-the-headlights reaction is even more priceless, he doesn't trust or like Joe much so he is on his guard around him usually but he did NOT expect an ambush from this angle ↓

*just got read for filth*

'B-bicker?? N-no, n-no, we...we d-don't bicker. I mean, we argue from time to time, sure but there's no bickering.'

well that was embarrassing. now, now, just refreshing my memory

yep, got that right, in trying to deny that he and Steve bicker like an old married couple, Danny literally bickers about the definition of the word bickering, proving Joe's point further.

you don't need to be world class spy to see how totally married Steve and Danny are, but that's obvious to everyone but themselves.

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Monster Movie

Welcome to “Good EVEning: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s4e5: Monster Movie.

  Sam and Dean are in Pennsylvania for a case that sounds like it may be a vampire attack but may also just be a vampire wannabe. Dean doesn't care, though, because it's Oktoberfest, he's been rehymenated, and he's ready to party. But then there's a sort of werewolf attack. And then a... mummy come to life? It becomes clear that they have a shapeshifter who loves old monster movies, but who is he and what's his next mov(i)e? Before they quite figure it out, the monster attacks Dean and his bar wench date (who really needs to join the cast for much more than just one episode because she's amazing) and then next thing he knows, Dean is in lederhosen and strapped to an electrocution table. This is one of the top ten very best SPN episodes. Shot in black and white and with all the little trappings of the classic horror films, it's both a send up and a tribute. It's also one of the best of the hilarious-up-until-the-end-when-it-rips-your-heart-out eps.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

  [and we begin:]

  Lor:

eeeee the black and white and the MUSIC

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

it's like I know it's coming but I still squee in my soul

 Mace:

SNORK

Mace:

Deanderhosen

 Mace:

 it’s coming

 Lor:

YAAAAAS

 Mace:

 and Sammy looks so pretty in B&W

 Lor:

and one of my very favorite one-off "women of the week"

 Lor:

the siiiiign

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

" a little more gusto"

 Mace:

“little more gusto, please"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

LOL

 Lor:

"an honest to goodness monster hunt"

 Lor:

"a black and white case" !!! I cannot I love it

 Mace:

oh Dean, like you, it’s not straight

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

 Mace:

 Octoberfest 2008 – [son] was 1 month old...

 Lor:

"without me"

 Lor:

awwwwww

 Mace:

 “PIG PRETZEL”

 Lor:

"big pretzel!"

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

now I want one

 Mace:

 fair food and pretty blonds = Dean’s in a happy place

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 ANGUS AND YOUNG

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

the way it's not just b and w but they SHOOT it like an old movie

 Lor:

geeks so hard

 Mace:

 YES this one is SO well done in so many ways

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 she is SO PRETTY

 Lor:

he's a MAVERICK

 Mace:

 omg Sammy’s FACE

 Lor:

she IS

 Lor:

YAAAS

 Mace:

 omg the triangle noise when he winks

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 I don’t think I noticed that one before

 Lor:

me either

 Lor:

and this dude. he is just playing it UP and it is so great

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 Mr. BREWER drinking from a stein at Octoberfest

 Lor:

YAAAAS

 Mace:

 a vamPYR

 Lor:

"he looked like a VAMPIRE"

 Mace:

 omg Sammy’s SMILE

 Lor:

omg Sam trying to keep a straight face

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

THEIR FACES

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

I LOVE that he knows when he can play around

 Mace:

oh SAMMY

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 “come again?” OMG SAMMY

 Lor:

HE'S REHYMENATED

 Mace:

 HAAAAAHAHAHAHA

 Lor:

hahahahahaha Sam

 Mace:

Sam is longsuffering but amused

 I need him to have that attitude with me at all times

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

"not weird enough"

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 ugh GROSS

 Lor:

the juxtaposition bt this jerk trying to get what he wants and Dean trying to get what he wants

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

there's no wolves in Pennsylvania, but if we don't have sex my balls will explode. what an ass

 Mace:

YEP

 Mace:

Sam’s hair!

 Mace:

 the little curls in the back

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

they both look amazing in their suits in black and white

 Lor:

her and her giant soda

 Mace:

YES THEY DO

 Mace:

“DAMN!”

 Mace:

 omg DEAN

 Lor:

awww Dean, I will rub your temples

 Mace:

 all those faces in, like, 5 seconds

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Mace:

 the loosened TIES

 Lor:

YAAAAAS

 Lor:

why is that such an amazing look it is SO GOOD

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

I really love Jamie and Dean together

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

OMG HIS FOAM MOUSTACHE

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

dude. RUN

 Mace:

HAHAHA they never do in those old movies

 Mace:

 but they generally don’t say “Holy mother of crap"

 Lor:

I was just thinking that!

 Lor:

hahahahahaha

 Lor:

omg they are both so annoyed

 Mace:

 YES “this is stupid"

 Lor:

awww Sammy just lets him go for his date without snarking at him

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

Jamie is a better person than me. I'da kept waiting for Dean

 Mace:

 Sam is playing a big brother part in this episode it seems

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

omg same

 Mace:

“…okay”

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

"okay" and then he just punches him!

 Lor:

the music! the shadows!

 Mace:

YES!!

 Mace:

 THE SCOOTER

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

INTERMISSION

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

"the ear part?"

 Mace:

 EW

 Lor:

yeah gross

 Lor:

"the x files is a tv show, this is real"

 Lor:

I love that line so much

 Mace:

“the xfiles is a tv show, this is real” OMG

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

Dean should know this [details about the old Dracula movies]

 Mace:

 yeah

 Lor:

"some people paint"

 Lor:

"that must suck"

 Lor:

she puts her finger RIGHT ON IT

 Mace:

 she pinpoints it pretty quickly

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

awww she goes to him

 Lor:

I LOVE HER

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 ME TOO

 Lor:

Dean, honey, you're lying to yourself, baby

 Mace:

 the way he sits there with his arm on the back of the bench

 Lor:

YAAAAAAS

 Lor:

"man I hope not"

 Mace:

sigh

 Mace:

 “YEAH, stay for a drink”

 Lor:

"yeeeah stay for a drink" haaaahahahaha

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

LOL

 Lor:

poor Dean. he just wants to get horizontal with the beautiful lady who understands him and gets his humor

 Mace:

 Sam does that befuddled look SO WELL

 Lor:

he DOES

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

MY GOD THE SHADOW

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

and then Sam's face when he switches up the music

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

“it’s supposed to come off"

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

"it's supposed to come off" "no it's not!"

 Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

 Lor:

"well, I didn't actually FLY"

 Mace:

HA

 Mace:

 THE HARP

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

I am a very bad person bc Dean all woozy is adorable

 Mace:

 YES HE IS

 Lor:

THERE IT IS

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

lookit him in his little outfit

 Mace:

 YESYESYES

 Lor:

Dean's face

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

"what the hell's up with the mummy?"

 Lor:

"I am all monsters" oooooooof

 Lor:

this guy KILLS IT [ed. the actor is Todd Stashwich]

 Mace:

 he really really does

 Lor:

"ah but this movie is mine"

 Mace:

 YES i love how Sam and Dean do the same thing much later on

 Lor:

I love how they take this absolute FEST of beautiful delightful nonsense and turn it into such a neat thematic exploration of monsters

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

"Good EEFning"

 Lor:

omg teh pizza guy "uh huh"

 Mace:

SNORK

 Mace:

 this pizza guy has SEEN things

 Lor:

"Did you order garlic"

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Lor:

like, what else has the poor dude come across

 Mace:

exactly

 Mace:

 SMARTY SAMMY

 Lor:

again, no snark from Sam about Jamie pets him good brothering, Sam

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 super goofy and then that flash of serious insanity I LOVE IT

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

and there's just that hint of pain in there too

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

"you're the only one I don't wanna scare"

 Mace:

 ooooof

 Lor:

yeah

 Lor:

"real is being born this way. different"

 Lor:

OUTSIDER

 Mace:

dropping the accent and the game makes him instantly more complex and it’s amazing

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 and the parallel to Sam’s situation AGAIN

 Lor:

and the way it's shot. his profile

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

omg those sleeves rolled up above Dean's elbows

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

"hey there, Hansel"

 Mace:

“hey there, handsome"

 Mace:

HAHAHA

 Mace:

 oh HANSEL THAT’S SO MUCH BETTER

 Lor:

LOL

 Lor:

omg Dean's impressed with the setup

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

the VIOLIN

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

"perhaps this is how the movie should end" oooooof

 Mace:

 yeah

 Lor:

YAY they finally get to smooch

 Mace:

the popped collar

 Mace:

 i suspect they did more than that

 Lor:

well SURE

 Lor:

but we get to see the smooches

 Mace:

 back ON THE JOB

 Lor:

"monster gets the gank"

 Mace:

 “you heard me"

 Lor:

"lucky guess"

 Mace:

HAHAHAHA

 Mace:

 SO GOOD

 Lor:

YES

[sammaggs]

DANKE FOR THIS AMAZING EXPLAINER!!

I was chatting with @sammags and @syrupmap about Frannie's German Suitor from Dead Men Don't Throw Rice earlier (have you noticed he bears an uncanny resemblance to Canadian actor Paul Gross?), and the question came up: "Zucchini, how is that guy's German?" and the answer was, of course: "ATROCIOUS, thank you!"

So, let me count you the ways in which those lines at the end of the episode are clearly supposed to be German, but were not influenced by anyone who has anything more than a passing acquaintance with the language!

Line number one:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen."

This first line is almost a sentence, only it's missing a part, it means something else than they think it does AND it's just not something anyone would say. "Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen" is like… if someone said it to me I would think I knew what he meant, but I would also think he used a bad translation app or something. Unfortunately, what I would think he meant would be "I have no idea what I'm supposed to say", which the astute reader will agree is NOT what they where going for here. A good translation would have been "Ich verstehe kein Wort", a more direct but not quite idiomatic translation would have been "Ich habe keine Ahnung, was du sagst", but neither of those happened. Aside from that, his pronounciation is... not horrific, but he would not be mistaken for a native speaker.

Line number two:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

His pronounciation of the first half of that sentence is so bad that I can't for the life of me make out what they're trying to say. Listened to it twenty times at least, can't do it. The second half ("Ich kann keine Englisch") is almost correct - it should be 'kein' instead of 'keine' - but it doesn't sound great. While it is idiomatic, a closer and still perfectly normal translation of their line would have been: "Ich spreche kein Wort Englisch."

Line number three:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Sie Chicago-Mädchen sind merkwürdige." Oh boy, where do I even start? A native speaker would probably phrase it as "Chicago-Mädels sind komisch" but only because the construction we would normally use only works on place names ending in a consonant. For, say, Berlin we would say "Berlinerinnen sind komisch", but 'Chicagoerinnen' is impossible to say somehow. So normally the word 'girls' would not appear in the German version of the sentence, but we would likely make an exception for Chicago. We would not say Mädchen because it mostly refers to children and teenagers; Mädels is the word to go for when then girls in question are adults. Then there's the thing about "Sie" - while that's one way to translate 'you', it's the word used in direct formal address of a single person, so it's right out in this case. A fairly direct, but not quite idiomatic translation could be "Ihr Chicago-Mädels seid merkwürdig", only no one uses merkwürdig like that. Last not least, his pronounciation is not great here either.

Line number four:

What they're trying to say:

Their translation and why it's garbage fine actually:

"Ich muss jetzt gehen" - solid translation, solid delivery. While he doesn't sound like a native speaker, he definitely sounds like a guy who's been learning German for a while.

BONUS:

This made me laugh because he said it in English and they put the German in the caption. Solid translation again!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! In conclusion: these lines were written by a bunch of people who took German in school for a year, then pooled their vague memories to create this. It's weird and funny and I love it, actually!

[chick-with-wifi]

Meta: Root's message for Shaw

In 4x05, Root says, "if the worst comes to pass, if you could give Shaw a message?" when she believes she will die in the fight against Martine. Although we don't hear the exact wording of this message, the context and Finch's reply of "I think she already knows", tell us it is a declaration of love.

Then in 5x13 when the Machine is fading, She tells Shaw, "There's something I think Root had wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do. But she always felt that was what made you beautiful. She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow." 

During their time together, Root's flirting consists of exaggerated innuendo to push Shaw's buttons ("I'll do yours if you do mine" in 3x23, "I love it when you play doctor" in 3x17), and in return Shaw pushes Root's buttons by aggressively pretending she doesn't care about Root ("I missed you like I'd miss an intestinal parasite" in 3x20, "I wouldn't want anything to happen…to the dog" in 4x10). Root never disrupts the delicate balance of this dance, never asks Shaw for more than she's willing to give or demands any confirmation of her feelings, beyond light teasing such as "and is that why you came to see me?" in 4x07.

But in the event of her death, she wants Shaw to know the true extent of her feelings. Given that she always intended it to be this way, this means the message isn't for her benefit - it's for Shaw's. She wants Shaw to know beyond a shadow of doubt that Root loved and understood her for exactly who she is, and has no expectations for what her grieving process should look like. She doesn't want Shaw to ever feel like she isn't enough.

A variation of this also appears in 4x11. In one of the Machine's simulations, Root calls Shaw while knowing she doesn't have long left and it is the only time we see her push for any sort of confirmation about their relationship. She says, "Why are you so afraid to talk about your feelings? [...] We're perfect for each other. You're gonna figure that out someday." and is elated with Shaw's reply that "maybe someday [...] we can talk about it."

Since the Machine is able to accurately predict Her assets and knows Root's final request well enough to carry it out in 5x13, She knows this is the one situation where Root would push the issue enough to make it clear that she loves Shaw and that she would be thrilled with any degree of confirmation Shaw chooses to give.

Their conversation in the real timeline begins in exactly the same way, with Root in a dire situation calling Shaw to say, "Hey, sweetie. You busy?". Shaw replies, "A little. Skip the verbal foreplay, Root. Why are you calling?" and Root says, "Can't a couple of gals take a little break from work to catch up?". However, at this point Shaw arrives in the stock exchange and the team's chance of survival increases considerably.

The rest of their conversation plays out similarly, but is toned down. Root says, "We're so good at this together. You're gonna realize that someday." Where the simulation began with Root asking a direct question about Shaw's feelings, this is an open statement that doesn't put any pressure on Shaw to respond.

Shaw replies, "Root, no offense. You're hot, you're good with a gun. Those are two qualities I greatly admire. But you and me together would be like a four-alarm fire in an oil refinery." Just like how Root in the simulation was happy with Shaw's response, she cheerily replies, "Sounds cozy." Since at this moment her life is no longer in immediate danger, she doesn't feel the need to say anything further.

[goginaporter]

rina + iconic couples in media

this is my fun way of responding to the alternate universe prompt for @rinaweek <3. rina and their parents in every universe, finding each other and falling in love. alsooo this post was slightly inspired by this absolutely brilliant edit linked here (x) and if you want rinatroyella or rinajacey edits, please lmk and I'll send my favorite ones <3333

troyella

the essays that can and have been written about troyella and rina are extensive (and I'm happy to do a longer form one in a separate post). but from being the new girl x boy who's never moved, girl encouraging boy to audition for the musical and actually commit, kissing in the rain, starring in the school musical together, to making a huge commitment to the other person on a stage in front of a bunch of people, rina is quite literally troyella reincarnated. and yeah, lots of people can argue that troyella is perfect as is, that they didn't need another version. and on one hand, i agree. but the way in which rina takes core parts of troyella's story while standing on their own as a ship is beautiful and truly does justice to the original franchise by anchoring the story around these two, both individually and as a couple, just as was done with troyella in the original trilogy. my favorite troyella parallel moment from s4!

4x01 - ricky sneaking into gina's room just like troy would come into gabriella's room through her balcony

4x02 - the note ricky gives gina in the hallway to meet in their secret staircase is just like the note troy slips in gabriella's locker in hsm to meet on the rooftop. (honorable mention to them auditioning for and getting the roles of troy and gabriella in this ep as well <33)

4x03 - of course, it has to go to their rendition of can i have this dance. their voices sound gorgeous and though the choreo they do has similarities to the original, they've made it their own.

4x04 - this one is kinda reaching but I wanted something for each ep! in hsm2, sharpay forces troy to sing a song with her, one she prepared for the talent show, instead of allowing him to go on a date with gabriella. in a similar vein, though with considerably less scheming from dani's side, dani is selected to replace gina as gabriella because she is so busy with the movie, though this is done behind her back.

4x05 - has to go to the rain kiss obviously. although troy and gabriella only ever kiss under sprinklers, it's the same vibes. there's also a still (not included in the scene) of the rain kiss of ricky holding gina's waist as she throws her arms up that's so reminiscent of troyella in the rain during cihtd.

4x06 - ricky and gina running down the hallway at the beginning of the episode feels like a direct parallel to troy and gabriella running to auditions in hsm. also rina fighting to save the show is super similar to gabriella (and troy once gabriella convinces him) pushing for the theater department to put on a show about them for their spring musical.

4x07 - they're literally playing troyella in this ep so I could say so much. i'll just use this space to talk about how much I love them in a night to remember and how much it looked like they were dancing at their wedding. I will say that terri, gina's mom, telling ricky about gina's movie with a smile on her face, reminds me a lot of gabriella's fans setting troy up to talk shit about her on camera to convince her to focus on the decatholon. also reflects sharpay telling troy about stanford, again with a smile on her face.

4x08 - again, this ep is rife with toryella coding because they're literally playing troyella, but the show goes super meta in having them sing the right here, right now reprise as ricky has just found out that gina is potentially moving across the world to film her movie, just as troy finds out about stanford and struggles with gabriella not being there for the rest of their senior year. on a much less angsty note, ricky singing love you forever to gina has the same vibes as troy choosing gabriella and going to school close to her, not to mention that lines in the song directly reference the song "high school musical" (which you can read more about here <3). gina also deciding to move the movie to salt lake is very much her "I choose basketball but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose gabriella" her version is "I choose filming this movie but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose ricky" just a beautiful perfect scene all around.

these s4 moments only scratch the surface of the troyellarina tether but i'll stop ranting for now and move on to rina's teen drama parent sets.

jacey

after s1, tim federle did an interview where they asked him about him about the ricky / nini / gina triangle, he directly mentioned dawson's creek in guiding his writing process, stating that at the center of his thought process was "how do I surprise audience members with who they're going to ship?" (x). for those who don't know the jacey lore, to make a long story short, their love triangle centered around joey, pacey, and dawson. joey and dawson were childhood best friends and joey has a crush on dawson. pacey and dawson are best friends and joey and pacey do not get along initially. after events of life, dawson asks pacey to "look after joey" at the beginning of s3, the two get super close and eventually catch feelings for each other and they secretly date as they figure out a way to break it to dawson (sound familiar?). they do break up but come back together at the end of the show and are endgame. the parallels between jacey and rina exist both on and off screen. dawson and joey were the initial endgame for the show, just like rini was the show's s1 endgame. however, electrifying chemistry between katie and joshua (jackson) & sofia & joshua (bassett) in their respective shows changed everything. rina is one of the strongest examples of continuing this legacy of disrupting the initial plans concocted in the writer's room to make way for insane chemistry. some of my fave jaceyrina parallels

rina and jacey having a formative, chemistry presenting moment in a car (rina in 1x05 during homecoming, joey and pacey in 1x during their science project)

the sheer parallels between them in 3x19 of dawson's creek and 3x08 of hsmtmts with their kiss scenes. just watch here (x) and here (x) to see. the "stop me" "wait" parallels actually make me go crazy

joey tutoring pacey in 3x09 and gina (presumably) becoming ricky's tutor after 4x06

i'm rewatching 3x09 in preparation for this and jacey has a scene where dawson catches them talking about pacey helping joey with a ballroom dance scholarship thing in exchange for tutoring and he asks them what no one can find out about and a) pacey sucksssss at improv just like gina it's like that 4x02 scene with rina and ashlyn and b) it also feels like rina with the chocolates, again with ashlyn LMAOOO in 2x04

ALSO in this ep (wow it's a goldmine), when dawson and jen catch joey and pacey ballroom dancing, they're forced to join the class and the instructor psychoanalyzes both couples. for jacey, she mentions that the tension and bickering between them suggests their underlying attraction for one another. this is literally what val (their choreographer!!) does after watching rina perform wdykal in 3x05

too much to explain for the final scene of this episode but i just encourage everyone to watch 3x09 to get the same sense of a major scene in a coat check and an ensuing apology

pacey telling joey he remembers everything in 3x22 and ricky telling gina he's never forgotten a thing she's said in 4x03

pacey telling joey that the simple act of loving her is enough for him and that she's "off the hook" and ricky telling gina that of course she has to go and be a star, as well as singing lyf not knowing that she was staying in slc, so he just wanted to let her know that he loved her for the sake of it, not to convince her of anything

pacey having to tell joey something but lying to protect her (and ricky having something to tell gina but lying to protect her (3x07)

naley

another paragon of teen drama royalty is naley. literally the best people ever and it makes sooo much sense that rina is similar to them because they're actually rina's grandparents. naley birthed troyella, who birthed rina. a beautiful family tree. anyways, naley doesn't seem to, on the surface at least, seem to have a lot of parallels to rina. a shy tutor girl and a cocky basketball player who get married after knowing each other for less than a year? (though I will go down with my headcanon that rina gets married super duper young, will not be taking any arguments). despite this, at their core, naley's love for each other is so reminiscent of rina's love for each other, not to mention some incredibly direct parallels that the two have, listed below:

nathan dropping haley home after a party & ricky dropping gina home after homecoming ("yeah, this is my house" & "so, this is where I live")

connecting over dubious circumstances (nathan requesting haley as a tutor/getting close to her to get back at lucas & gina convincing ricky to stay in the show so she could get gabriella, attending hoco with ej to psych nini out but instead connecting with ricky)

nathan putting haley's hand to his heart after telling her it's racing (it was because of drugs but still, it beats for haley) and ricky putting gina's hand on his heart after telling her that his heart's racing (i'm telling y'all this scene is the same, just with the characters and setting swapped)

alllllll of naley's s2 angst is like the intense and more painful version of rina's angst in s4

naley invented rain kisses (even if they existed before them, no they didn't) and rina obviously does justice with their own rain kiss in 4x05

when nathan proposes to haley (their first proposal), he tells her that "I could love you forever." audience, what's the title of ricky's love song for gina? i rest my case

haley being nathan's tutor and gina being ricky's tutor <3333

nathan sneaking into haley's bedroom to study and makeout and ricky sneaking into gina's bedroom to sing and makeout

nathan and ricky being haley and gina's biggest fans when it comes to their careers, putting their success over their personal feelings (nathan collecting clippings of haley's tour, paying chris to let her record music & ricky decorating gina'ss trailer, encouraging her to go to nz to be a star)

rina served cheerleader x basketball player (though at different times and both were fictional but wtv) just like naley

this was super nonexhaustive as rina also has parallels to jam, mondler, sethmer, romeo & juliet, and so many other ships. however, I'm lazy and didn't want to write all of those out. maybe I'll return to them another time, but for now, pls enjoy this <3333

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 17

"The Enemy Within" AKA Chenford Sucks at Babysitting

I've been so caught up in life (mostly great stuff) that I almost forgot it was Chenford night! Gee wiz!

But, for those following along:

we got an amazing deal on a car

we're this close to picking a roof vendor

I have another regular client for a few months

might have one more big contract coming in

See!? Good. Just busy.

SPOILER ALERT: I like spoilers very very much. If you don't, please run away. I will spoil the entirety of the episode and the whole series that has come before that if the Meta demands it.

All squared away? Awesomesauce. Let's dive in.

"Hi. Uh, don't hate me." "What did you do?"

Tim is actually smiling when he sees her scurry up to him, versus last episode when he was scowling.

He can't even look at her as he asks his question, because they just weathered the storm of Tim Metro Jenga and now what!?

"No, you're supposed to say, 'I could never hate you.'"

Tim throws a look her way, and we all know that while Tim could never hate Lucy, that's not the point. He needs to know what she did and fast because his imagination's already running wild.

"Fine. I got mad at you a few months back after a Tim Test."

Because she hopped in a TARDIS and took a trip back in time.

Look, I know the timeline on this show can be a counter to reality, considering the first year of the show was about 3.5 years. But we know from 4x05 to 5x06 was a year because both episodes take place on Halloween.

Tim and Lucy started dating in 5x10, and it was "a few weeks" by the time we got to 5x12. So, we're at least a few months past Halloween, meaning that Tim hasn't put Lucy through a Tim Test in well over a year and a half.

Now, it's possible Lucy has no concept of time, but I'll admit the line took me out the first time I heard it because I try to keep track of the timeline for the sake of these Metas.

Is it a ridiculous thing to be bothered by? Abso-friggin-lutely. And totally attributable to Lucy's inability to keep track of time. Her pregnancy might feel like a decade and her first child's first year in a blink of an eye.

I hear that's how it goes for people who have one kid, at least. My twin pregnancy was a breeze compared to my second pregnancy with my daughter, and the twins' first year was... survival.

What matters is—Lucy was so pissed she set Tim up.

"Which one?" "Oh, weird, I honestly don't remember. But, so, that's not important." "What did you do?"

Tim's mouth is open the whole time she's talking, just waiting for her to give him a straight answer. He knows this is bad with how much she's stammering and starting over.

"I signed you up to be a Make a Dream mentor and then I totally forgot about it. I'm sorry." "For when?" "Today."

Tim's eyebrows shoot up to the sky and his hand automatically rises in protest. Lucy's hands rise to meet them, and his falls away.

It's a part of their dance. Yes, this sounds like I'm high. No, I'm not high (and never have been in my life). I'm connecting dots over here! ... Which also makes it sound like I'm high.

Have you ever noticed how Tim and Lucy shift based on the other, sometimes? When they're outside the plane in 5x01 and they're holding onto one another, there's a sway to their movements. They do it, again, in 5x12 right before Lucy disrobes her honey so she can eat him up. *ahem*

Tim and Lucy have a feel for each other. For the space the other occupies. There are times when occupying the same space is a very good thing, of course. But there are other times where they simply shift to make room for the other.

It's such a sweet, subtle thing that is more than likely good blocking and/or actor instinct. But it makes for such a beautiful visual of give-and-take with Chenford. It's mesmerizing.

"It's a good thing... lifting up a sick kid who's having a really hard time. What could you possibly be doing with your day that would be more important than that?

Lucy grabs onto his arm and he spins back to face her. Most of the time, it's small, open-handed touches from Lucy when they're at work. But this time she full-on handles her future husband to get his attention.

"Nice job boxing me in" "Thank you."

Tim's mad-impressed with his woman. If he wasn't so pissed, he might suggest they slip into a closet Wopez style for a quickie.

Lucy gives Tim the most adorable little bow, like a performer appreciating the applause.

"Where are you going?" I gotta go out on patrol." "You are me are gonna be entertaining our Make a Dream kid together."

Because if I have a kid, that means you have a kid. Like, it's already a foregone conclusion for these two.

Remember, Lucy knows that Tim wants kids, and thought he'd have some by now. Tim knows Lucy wants kids because she talked at length with him about her ovaries (even when he didn't want her to).

They're on the same page. Someday (not right now) there are gonna be little Chenford babies running around.

But right now, let's see if these two can handle one kid for a day.

"What else could you possibly do with your day that's more important?" "Yeah, right. I should have seen that coming."

You really should have. And while I'm curious about the logistics of this, considering he's not her supervisor, anymore, so he can't decide what she does with her day, I'm totally willing to suspend disbelief and have some fun.

Chenford + Kid? This'll be fun!

"This is my son Jordy. Say hi." "Hi. I hear you wanna be a cop." "Yeah." "Okay, well, you're gonna be hanging out with us today." "So, I just pick him up at 3?" "We'll take good care of him."

Tim has a smile for the kid when Jordy arrives, but it's not his "stop kissing my girlfriend you asshat" face he usually reserves for Chris. This is that smile he often reserves for kids—welcoming and sincere, yet still subtle. You can see it on his face with the Little League team earlier this season.

Also, I'm very curious about how this system works. I know I'm that weird Mom who wants to watch her kids' dance and Ninja classes, but I've signed waivers with those places, too. So, did Lucy forge Tim's signature on a waiver of some kind? That would be an interesting fanfic!

Also, the use of "we" and "us" still gets me. You'd think I'd be bored of it considering they've been knocking boots a while, now, but inclusive language makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

This is what happens when someone with two communications degrees writes a Meta. I'm so, so sorry.

"So, I'm thinking Processing. Wanna take your fingerprints? Get a mugshot taken?

Tim is so cute with kids! He's really trying to give this kid a fun day, even though this is not how he planned to spend his day.

Lucy's little dance in this scene had me rolling, too. We're so getting a sneak-peek at these two as parents. Spoiler Alert... they've got some work to put in. Thank God the first year is (as Bradley Whitford said in one of my favorite shows) "an on-ramp".

"Okay. Give me your meanest face." "Now look miserable."

Is it weird that Tim reminds me of my dad in this scene? Doesn't help that it's hilarious, and my Dad's an ex-standup comic. Yes, I mean it. Never feed that man a straight line.

But this kid does look miserable. Poor thing looks like he'd rather be anywhere else than at a police station.

"This doesn't exactly feel like making dreams come true." "He looks like he hates us."

Because he does. He hates your guts. It's finally happened... someone hates Chenford.

And, I know in reality there's always someone who hates something. I hate mushrooms. My husband loves them. It does nothing to the mushroom's opinion of life that I don't want to eat it while Matthew does.

But the fact that this kid's literally mean-mugging Chenford had me rolling.

Also, Tim has his arm up on the counter before Lucy approaches. When she does, his arm moves out of the way so her arm can rest there. It's their dance—always making space for one another.

THEY LOST THE KID.

I wrote this over here, then glanced at Twitter and briefly wondered if we were going to have this as a trending topic because... oh my gosh, two cops just lost a kid.

And, look, kids can be sneaky. When my Eldest was 3, he decided to play Hide and Seek at 10PM and forgot to tell us.

We searched the entire house and were about to call 911 (even though he couldn't yet unlock the doors and they were all deadbolted shut) when I finally called out that we were going to throw away toys if he didn't come out.

He was standing on the sill of our bay window with the curtains almost flat against him because he was so tiny. I sobbed, hugged him, and told him that he couldn't play hide and seek without telling us first.

My kid didn't even mean to be sneaky. This kid clearly does.

"We didn't lose him. We misplaced him."

He's not a ballpoint pen, Timothy. You lost a person.

"How can you be so calm? What if this was your kid?"

The kid is inside a police station with lots of good people to watch out for him. Believe me, it could be worse.

"You know what, if we ever lose our kids, I'm gonna need you to take this a lot more seriously." "Hold up, our kids would know better than to pull a stunt like this."

Y'all expecting or something!?

And, no, this is not a question you should ever, ever ask anyone in real life no matter what.

I can't tell you how many times people asked, "Why aren't you pregnant, yet?" and I wanted to scream, "Because I don't ovulate, have a tilted sacrum, have endometriosis, and a preferential tube... but thanks for reminding me of the failed procedures, tests, and attempts at pregnancy. Really appreciate it."

But, since Tim and Lucy are fictional... I'm wondering if we're being set up for a surprise pregnancy.

Like, I think Lucy would definitely want to make her mark, first, with UC before purposefully conceiving. But, my mother knew a couple who twice got pregnant through three kinds of birth control used simultaneously. It can happen.

No matter what's coming down the line show-wise, I love how casually they are talking about it. This isn't a maybe for them, but an actuality. They truly believe that they will be parents together. And I believe it, too!

Tim remarks that they're doing well so far, and I wonder if something was cut for time. Maybe not, but it twinkles at my brain that I feel like I'm missing something.

Maybe that's just the fact I haven't had dinner, yet. Definitely missing some calories today! And Tim and Lucy are definitely missing their first kid together (second if we count Tamara).

"I found this kid wandering around and he said he belongs to you."

Their first time at a water park, this is so gonna happen. I can't tell you how many times I was on set, separated from my mother, and a random person would take one look at me and say, "Your mother's over there."

"He kept asking me what my childhood pet's name was."

This sounds like a scam. Like, remember the early days of the internet when we all did a/s/l? And then it evolved into these elaborate quizzes to post that were really data-mining schemes? Yeah... good times.

This kid's a walking BuzzFeed quiz. Beware, Aaron. Don't hit "submit"!

"What kinda kid doesn't like dogs?" "Tim."

I love her exasperation, here, but I also kinda want to write a love letter to Melissa O'Neil on all the different ways she says, "Tim" in this one episode.

I'll never forget this one actor on a movie my mother keyed who asked me to run lines with him. There was this short line he had me say over and over and over, again.

He was trying to get me to understand the many different ways you can say a line and how that can change its meaning. Kid-Rachel didn't quite get it, but adult Rachel looks back on that moment with fondness.

Melissa O'Neil really personifies that lesson in this episode. Here, Lucy's exasperated. Later, shocked and chastising. Later, still, enamored. It's one bloody word, "Tim", and yet her performance brings it to life in different ways every time. Beautiful.

THEY LOST THE KID, AGAIN

While I've been waxing poetic, Chenford's lost the damn kid, again!

"This is ridiculous."

Watching Tim and Lucy walking down the hall aghast and worried... Yup, this is totally their future. Tim's going to air-tag their kid to keep them from wandering off after this little experience.

Tim On One Knee

I know I wasn't the only Chenford-ian experiencing flash-forwards on that one. Also, the last time we saw Tim on his knees by the Shop he was looking for diamonds (also with Lucy). And now it's a kid.

Yes, this is reaching. Like, this is reaching past your cousin Burt to dip your latke in the applesauce reaching. But, come on, it's right there. I didn't even have to work for that parallel!

"I really hope you're enjoying your revenge for that Tim Test." "I'm really not. Come on."

And light-hearted as this adventure is, it's kinda perfect that Lucy's choice in "revenge" was something that would be helpful to someone else.

In an ideal situation, this kid would want to be here. And annoyed as Tim would be to lose his day, he would actually enjoy helping a kid. Because, Tim likes kids.

Lucy likes to screw with Tim. Not make his life (and hers, by extension, now) hell.

"If someone I worked for tried to put me in a wood chipper, I'd flip on them." "If someone you worked for tried to put you in a wood chipper, they'd be in the wood chipper."

I freakin love Angela. I know that this is a Chenford meta, but Nyla saying that was so badass and so true. My #3 is a fighter.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Ooooh, Tim broke out a curse word in front of a child. And, yeah, the kid broke into a secure police system, so it was warranted.

"Okay, do you even have cancer?" "Tim." "That part's true."

Look, it's out of line, but I totally get it. Tim doesn't trust people to begin with. He believes it has to be earned, but he cut this kid a break at the onset. Now, he realizes this kid played him and he's pissed.

But Lucy was right to call Tim out with a gentle admonishment using only his name because Melissa O'Neil if a rockstar who can convey all that with a single syllable.

"Okay, but you lied about wanting to be a cop." "Of course. Cops are whack."

The way I was rolling during that part. The way Tim and Lucy immediately look to one another? Priceless.

Also, Tim was kinda right. The kid does hate them.

"He said if I could figure out a way to get rid of his tickets, he'd buy me an ebike."

Asshole Dad. Poor kid. Like, yes, this kid is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

But so was Tim when he covered for his father's affair. These are children whose decisions are being influenced and informed by the adults around them.

"You are a criminal, Mr. Yates. And you made your son one, too."

I can't even imagine how hard this is. Because Jordy is a child, and he's already facing all the elements of childhood cancer. Adding charges on top of it?

And we all know that Tim won't charge the kid. But his dad's a different story. Tim has a problem with parents who hurt their children—be it physical or emotional.

"I can't go to jail. My family needs me."

This wordless communication is my favorite part of the entire episode.

At the beginning of their story, Tim and Lucy spoke completely different languages. Let's say Tim was barking in Latin and Lucy's finessed in French. There's enough root words to comprehend, but not truly understand one another.

Over time, they've learned one another's languages to the point that they don't even need words anymore. Tim has softened where Lucy has become more crisp and refined.

Lucy's look to Tim is a plea. There's so much to what this man is saying. Yes, he's clearly broken the law with all those parking passes, and then persuading his sick son to try to get rid of them.

But losing his license and car creates an added burden on this already-hurting family. This man is desperate. Dumb, yes. But desperate.

"His medical costs are killing us" struck me hard. On paper, my family looks good financially, right? But then there's the medical costs. Mine. My kids'. I'm on so many payment plans trying to stay on top of it.

So, an innocent bill might seem like nothing, but when paychecks are inconsistent and things break down one. after. the. other... it leaves us exposed. Matthew got a speeding ticket last month, and if not for his "taking no time off this month" bonus from the school, it wouldn't have been covered.

So, I get the fear and desperation. I'm just not as dumb as this guy.

Meeting her eyes, Tim's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you kidding me?" they say. In one look, he knows what she wants.

Look. How. Far. We've. Come.

It used to be that he was oblivious... then he would ask others how Lucy was. Then, he knew enough to ask her himself. He knew in a glance that something was on her mind, but didn't know what.

Now he knows what's on her mind. He knows exactly what she's thinking. At first he doesn't believe it. But he knows it.

He looks away, trying to decide how he's going to handle it. Then, he looks back to Lucy to confirm. She looks away, thinking she's pushed too hard, accepting whatever Tim decides.

Watch. Her. Listening when Tim tells Dumbass Dad he's not going to jail. Her eyes shift back up to him, grateful. Not only did her message get through, but Tim listened and took action.

They've come so far in their communication. But, Tim's also come far as a man.

He's always been a good cop. But he missed the human element, sometimes. He was afraid of it. Showing compassion made things worse, in his eyes.

And I'm not saying that we should just give every criminal a clean slate for no reason. But Tim made the compassionate choice, and I can only hope the Dumbass Dad makes the most of it.

"You're going to Daddy and Me Traffic school."

Can this really exist? Because it sounds a helluva lot more fun than the traffic school I had to go to back in the day. Yes, Rachel has a lead foot.

I got my first ticket on Thanksgiving when I was at university. My parents showed up to court to support me, and when the Judge noted them reacting to the cop's account, he called them out. They waved. He smiled. I got a reduced ticket.

So, the lesson of the story is that you can go fast and be okay if your parents are good enough actors.

"How can I make it up to you?" "Be a better father to your son."

Strong words from a man who will someday be an incredible father in spite of the monster who raised him, leaving him without example of what that looks like.

But Tim knows what a good father should be. Despite never having one himself, he knows. And while he'll make his own mistakes, he won't pass on the trauma to his children. He'll create an entirely new legacy of love. With Lucy's help, of course.

"Daddy and Me Traffic school sounds fun."

Whose desk Is this? Is this Lucy's desk? Is he doing paperwork out here because he doesn't want to go back to his office?

I'm sure there's a logistical reason why this scene happened where it did (maybe Tim's office can't fit three people... it is the size of a closet). But, when I fist saw him sitting there, I was confused for a second.

"It was a really nice gesture, Tim."

One word. Three letters. She's giving us a masterclass, folks. Rewatch it. You'll see.

"I wanted to throw that guy in jail for putting his son in that position." "But?" "You're a good influence."

Hell, yeah, she is. Lucy has helped Tim see pieces of himself that needed refining, but also the best of who he is. Part of what I love about this relationship is that even in the seasons when he was her superior officer, she matched him as an instructor.

They taught one another the whole way—Tim teaching Lucy to be a little more wary of the world, and Lucy teaching Tim to be a little more open. They're at their best when they meet in the middle.

"You're gonna make a really great dad one of these days."

Anyone else melt into a puddle? Or just me? I only recently re-congealed so I could write this thing.

There's such adoration in Lucy's eyes, because she's not just saying this to a coworker. She's saying this to the love of her life. Picturing him with their children, she's falling in love with him a little bit more.

And while I'm not in a rush for Chenford babies... I love that they're talking about it. That they are expecting it. That it's a part of the life they are building together.

Both of them were previously in relationships with no real future. No fulfilling one, anyway. This is the relationship neither knew they needed, but that's the proverbial Cinderella's glass slipper—a perfect fit.

"I'm gonna have to. You keep losing our kids everywhere you go." "Come on. Stop it!"

What did I just listen to!? Y'all are really tryin' to take me out with this one! But, seriously, much like the "gave me the will to live" line from 5x10, Tim is saying this strictly for Lucy's reaction.

It reminds me so much of my own relationship I could scream. Matthew and I constantly do that to one another. Mostly me, though. It's mostly on me. His reactions are so perfect!

I'm also getting major Double Date energy with the delivery of "Come on. Stop It." when we were all blessed with the Tale of Gerald the Goat. It's all in the delivery, and I love it.

Almost as much as I love Tim's real smile with teeth at Lucy's reaction. That smile is for her, and it's amazing.

Didn't expect to wrap this one so early, but loveyby went to bed early after getting our Littlest finally to bed.

I really am loving the journey Tim and Lucy are on. Were they the comic relief this episode? Yes. It's an ensemble show, and sometimes that's their role.

Am I trying to rush a pregnancy? No way. I know I called out the possibility of a surprise pregnancy in this Meta, but that's in no way scripture, here. It's simply a possibility.

But I do think these two are in a lovely place. And I'm so grateful neither has been dramatically killed off, yet. It's kinda nice to have a living, breathing ship! I'll try not to get used to it... just in case.

Side Note: Bristow earned her keep, so maybe it's a good thing Lopez didn't "get that woman out of [her] house". Made me chuckle when I watched thinking about it!

Thank you so much for reading! We have a bit of a hiatus, but we'll make it through together! One breath at a time.

[raayllum]

Now, don't get me wrong, by all accounts, Rayla isn't a particularly 'good' assassin. She fails to follow mission orders when she's actually given them (1x01, 1x02) and outright defies them (1x03). A lot of this is because of her own sense of morality and compassion, which is exactly what Runaan criticizes her for and what Ethari worried about.

R: Your heart isn't hard enough to do whatever it takes.

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice.

However...

There is still a reason that Runaan thought she would be a good assassin. Part of that is because he's a lot like Claudia, his love for his family obscuring a more objective reality. The other part is that, other than her 'too soft' heart, Rayla has what she needs to be an assassin in terms of the skill set (her blades were at Marcos' throat) and because she doesn't always listen to said 'soft heart'. In fact, she often tries very very hard not to (see a lot of early S1 in particular).

“Of course. For…” she chewed her lip and counted on her fingers. “Hrm, maybe fifteen years now. Anyway, you can call me Redfeather.” [...] Rayla felt her heart turn soft in her chest in just the way she hated. She wanted to know more, had to know more. “What did you do?”

Now, we see that in S4 Rayla is a lot better at well, not listening to that soft squishy part of herself, and that Soren was less good at appealing to her about it than Ezran. Some of this is probably because he pivoted away from the dragon and went after it from an identity standpoint — which, not only does Rayla have a pretty malleable sense of self in her own head, she does not believe that any part of whatever identity is there is particularly good / does not think she's a 'Good' person quote unquote — but this was absolutely doomed to fail post-return. Spending two years alone, trying to singularly hunt down a man and murder him, and knowing all the while that you hurt the people you love the most and have nothing to show for it... Yeah, no one's gonna be in the best head space for that, or be overly inclined to trust their own judgement or capacity to save people.

Like most characters in the show, Rayla struggles with always knowing what the right thing to do is, and what served her well in the past — trusting her gut, taking on things alone, laying herself down in the line of fire, removing her hesitation, and going to save Phyrrah in 2x07 — may not always serve her well in every scenario. She thought she was right to do all the same things when she went after Viren, didn't she? So she errs on the side of inaction, of not wanting to make another mistake by acting with her heart rather her head (again), and inadvertently waltzes into another mistake (Soren being captured and going missing).

Rayla will do the right thing, and hate herself for it, and will stubbornly ignore the signs screaming at her when she isn't doing the right thing (and she'll hate herself for that, too.)

[ Sidenote: bonus post about how Arc 2 increasingly treats more and more character traits and decisions as circumstantial rather than inherently good or bad ]

As she says to Ezran:

R: I let him go. I don't know why. E: Because you felt for him. R: But he was a human — my enemy! E: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared. And you knew he was a person, just like you. R: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do.

I think we can read this in two ways. The first is that to be an assassin, you have to be able to dehumanize others on a fundamental level because you're 1) murdering strangers 2) on someone else's orders. Although Runaan preaches about balance in Bloodmoon Huntress (when you kill someone, you remove their capacity for love and change) we have all of Arc 1 talking about why that mindset is flawed and isn't good enough, especially because it culminates in Harrow's death when he still had plenty of things to love, like his children, and so much he wanted to change, and it would've led to Ezran's death as well. This is one of the reasons why assassination and dark magic, conceptually, often go hand in hand for the characters and their explorations of personhood and the right thing to do, etc etc.

The second way is that Rayla, by ignoring her own wants and personhood — her own heart — is also dehumanizing herself. It shouldn't matter that she's a person with wants and weaknesses; she had a job to do. We see this reflected in a lot of her behaviour ("Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters now" —> "It's agonizing. But I know our mission comes first: the world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused") and in Runaan's / Moonshadow elves infamous "I am already dead" thing.

(There is also the factor that, because her and Callum mutually informed the construction of each other's new senses of identity to an absurd degree, if Callum doesn't want her then she doesn't know / doesn't have a firm footing on who she is anymore without him, but that's a codependent post for another day.)

All of this is a very long winded way of saying there, much like Viren and Claudia, are two consistently contradicting aspects to Rayla's personality that she is catapulting between, and the Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla are, as of S5, still equal parts of her as she finds her way. Both have good and bad qualities of her, even if the Assassin Rayla side is — let's say more negative — and far more worrisome given what Callum has asked her to do if he is possessed again, and how it seems like S6 will be going full steam ahead in exploring that plotline.

In a lot of ways, Assassin Rayla and Protector Rayla have the exact same set of traits — selfless, protective, strong, willing to sever close bonds or divert from the mission to do the Right Thing — but instead describe the circumstances she's making those choices in. Protector Rayla is the one who stands against Runaan on the battlements; Assassin Rayla is the one who refuses to prioritize her parents even when she absolutely could (or at least, more than she is).

Assassin Rayla causes her to forget her own needs and put the world above everything else. Assassin Rayla causes her to ignore other people's needs, either not helping them (although iirc 4x05 is the only real example of it) or by leaving / keeping secrets.

The part of her we don't want her to listen to, the part she listens to when she's Scared — the one that walks away from the drake in 4x05, that tries to walk away in 1x09, and what led to her leaving, in a lot of ways, in TTM (both out of love, trauma, and a desperate need for control) — and how S4 reaffirms those qualities is precisely what may lead her to hurting Callum (again) in S6.

Because Callum is asking her to become an Assassin, Aaravos marks her as a failed one, and Rayla still — deep down — wants to ultimately be a Protector. We'll just have to see what side she answers to (and why).

More thoughts on Rayla, identity, and murder to follow lmao

[spinelli-gemelli]

A Degrassi Essay Series About Rick Murray

(Part 5)

In the last post we looked at those students who antagonized Rick in their interactions with him. Let's now focus on those who served as his allies in what was otherwise a miserable school environment for him. This will be a fun post to write considering all of the following characters have different reasons for why they're interacting with Rick, yet they all seemed to have left a strong, positive impact on him.

Darcy

I'm starting with little Miss Edwards because she is the most neutral towards Rick out of everyone on the list. She agreed to kiss Rick for five dollars, Toby being the one to pay her. Because she's a freshman, or as they say in Canada, in Grade 9, she is unaware of who Rick is and why everyone at Degrassi hates his guts. It's her inquiry about Rick's reputation that earns her the five dollars to begin with. We watch this minor scene unfold in "Islands in the Stream" (4x06) as this ninth grader gets Rick's attention while he's walking past her in a hurry and compliments his glasses, causing him to pause and face her. For someone so young, Darcy was very smooth in her delivery. It helps when you don't care about the guy you're being paid to kiss. This prompts Rick to tell Darcy about the "game" he and Toby are playing. Darcy, armed with meta knowledge of the game already, asks what she can do to help him win, and that's when Rick replies with, "A kiss." He tells her he doesn't need a lips or a cheek kiss, but before he can finish his sentence, Darcy stretches up and smooches him on the cheek, and we cut to see Rick grinning from ear to ear afterward. Hell, his face is even a soft shade of pink. After all, he was losing this game in a humiliating (and honestly hilarious) defeat, so that kiss must have felt like heaven to him. It kind of shows us as the audience that Rick wasn't all there since he had the audacity to believe that women would be a fan of his after what he did to Terri and after the ribbon campaign that was launched against him just a few weeks ago. I mean c'mon, dude. I guess he assumed that just because the head organizer of the campaign softened her defenses against him, he believed that every other girl would too. Think again!

Here's a fun fact behind this scene. The actress who auditioned for Darcy (Shenae Grimes) read her Darcy lines while a woman in the audition room, who I'm assuming was Linda Schuyler, read lines for Rick. Grimes' audition was an extension of Darcy's scene with Rick. As Darcy is walking away after having kissed Rick, "Rick" (played by Schuyler) asks for Darcy's name, which she has no problem telling him. When Darcy then asks for his name in return, Rick is awkward and can only respond in verbal pauses. "Uhhh...d-uhhh...". It's as if Rick didn't want her to know who he really was for fear of her hating him too. Darcy closes out the scene with the line. "Guys are so weird." No, Darcy. It's just that guy who's weird. The rest of them are simply stupid (lol, just kidding).

Jimmy

Jimmy started off much like Spinner: he was understandably hostile towards Rick in the beginning, then began using every opportunity he could to meddle Rick at school after the protesting died down. We get the famous foreshadowing scene in "Anywhere I Lay My Head" (4x05) where Rick shows up to the Spirit Squad car wash in his mother's black Volkswagen. Jimmy walks up to the driver's window after he notices Rick talking to his girlfriend, Hazel, and threatens to shoot him with the water hose, telling him to "bounce." As Rick is driving away, Jimmy sprays the water gun at the back of Rick's car. Jimmy is also the one who is with Spinner as they both throw him in the dumpster in "Time Stands Still" (4x07).

Something happens though. By fate, Jimmy is Heather Sinclair's replacement on the Whack-Your-Brain team after she falls ill with mononucleosis. Now that they are forced to work together, Jimmy realizes that Rick isn't the worst person on the planet. Rick even gives Jimmy a compliment, as awkward as his speech mannerisms are. "Futility perfected." Rick says to Jimmy during practice drills the day before the finals. Now that Jimmy notices that Rick these days is just minding his nerdy business, he sticks up for Rick in front of Spinner, Jay and Alex.

What a shame that Rick assumed that Jimmy was the culprit behind the paint and feathers prank based on what Spinner and Jay told him. The scene in which Rick approaches Jimmy in the hallway with every intention of shooting him regardless of what Jimmy said is a mixture of frustration and dread. Jimmy, being the bigger person, decided to set aside his differences with Rick and move forward with the seemingly not bad person he was during the time of "Time Stands Still". He was the biggest supporter to Rick on stage as he answered all of the trivia questions correctly on stage. Maybe they wouldn't have been buddies in an alternate future, but similar to the crew that was featured in "The Breakfast Club Episode" of Degrassi (3x16), they would behave civilly towards each other. They would come to an understanding. Jimmy would defend Rick against the bullies in the halls as he promised to Rick before he decided to shoot him. "...and if those guys give you anymore problems, I got your back." Jimmy Brooks being the classic good guy. Sadly it cost him his legs, though none of it was the cause of his own doing. Rick was quick to believe the lie he had been told since Jimmy did resort to plain old bullying like Spinner and Jay after the protesting died down, and that was the Jimmy Rick had in mind as he approached him slowly, blinded by his incorrectly perceived injustice and rage. To Rick, in that moment, he was a fool to believe that Jimmy would really want to be his friend. He should have known it was too good to be true, and in his mind, it was. Jimmy betrayed him.

Emma

Yes, we're talking about Emma again. After she leads the charge against Rick, puts an end to it, sets the record straight about how she feels about him, Rick and Emma tolerate each other as classmates. After all, they seem to share at least three classes together as both of them are in grade ten. Then something happens in "Islands in the Stream" that changes the tone of their relationship. In a bet where Rick and Toby each try to get a kiss from Emma in order to win, she winds up kissing both of them. There's just a bit of...inconsistency in her behavior here. If you're a girl who learns from the upperclassmen about how Rick Murray beat his ex-girlfriend, organized a campaign to get rid of him with said upperclassmen, would you not be disgusted at the thought of kissing him? Being a woman beater is a major turn off. It's one thing if you buy into Rick's repentance and believe that he is different from last year. It's another if you just put up with the fact that he's around, like Emma originally did.

"Things got out of hand, and I stopped it." Emma tells Rick at the end of episode 4x04. "It doesn't mean I like you, and it doesn't mean we're friends." Then, two episodes later, she has no problem pecking him on the cheek? Maybe this was the moment Rick believed that Emma was into him. If you take away this scene in his character arc, then yes it seems like Rick developed this delusion of Emma flirting with him out of thin air, but the fact that she decides to kiss him suggests at the very least she can't dislike the guy the way she implied at the end of "Mercy Street". To Emma, perhaps her motivation to do so was that she didn't want Toby to believe that she was into him, which is why she discretely kissed him on the cheek. Isaacs then went and blabbed about it to his new friend, so Emma, being annoyed that Toby didn't follow her lead, evens the score by kissing Rick. "This is so you're not lonely." She says to Rick before she leans in to make her move. Her attempt to not show any favor towards either boy had the opposite effect on Rick. He seems to think that the fact that Emma kissed him does mean she likes him. She did make it clear two episodes ago that she wasn't his fan. Maybe he's making the implication in his mind after she pecked his cheek--and we're talking a smooch so light and so fast that if you blink, you'd miss it.

Ironically, he doesn't respond to Darcy's kiss the same way he responds to Emma's. In NotaVampyre's video essay, the uploader points out a small detail at the end of episode 4x06. Toby and Rick are plot B of that episode, and in it they have a little competition to see who can get the most girls to kiss them by the end of the day. We learn that Toby wins, managing to get eleven kisses that day, but Rick only had one, which was Darcy, and even that was only because she was paid to do so. In Rick and Toby's final scene, Rick says that Darcy's kiss has given him all of the confidence he needs before strutting down the hall with his supposed new confidence. When Toby asks "To what?", we see Rick's "confidence" is short-lived as Jay looms over him, successfully intimidating Rick to turn the other direction. Rick never goes into an explanation about what he meant, but NotaVampyre suggests that the confidence he's speaking of was meant for asking Emma to be his girlfriend. This suggests that Emma's affectionate gesture towards Rick meant more to him than it did to her. This explains why Rick thought that Emma being more pleasant towards him during episode 4x07 meant that she returned the same feelings he had for her. It wasn't just that she was being nice to him in this episode, but also because of the kiss she gave him in the previous episode. As I write about this, it sounds as if I'm creating a mountain out of a molehill, but from Rick's perspective, this is exactly the point. Any minute, friendly gesture that Rick receives from the opposite sex is inflated in his mind. Hell, the same is true with members of his same sex as we saw in his interactions with Jimmy.

I think the event that began Rick's crush on Emma was that in the beginning, she was the only person who rushed to his aid as the protesting got out of hand. It is suggested that Rick is into blondes after we see his list of his "Top Twenty" crushes at the school (episode 4x06), with Emma and Ms. Hatzilakos both being in his top three. This puts Emma in an uncomfortable and frustrating situation. She's trying to do the right thing and help support Rick on the Whack-Your-Brain team, but because she's smiling at him and being nice to him, Rick assumes that she's now into him, which encourages him to make the moves on her...if you want to call it that. Most of the viewers watching Rick find his tactics to be cringe, awkward, creepy, and uncomfortable. After Rick is humiliated on stage, Emma famously goes after him in the hallway to console him, but unfortunately, Rick misreads her actions yet again. He decides that this is the time to make his big move--he grabs her face and kisses her on the mouth, which causes Emma to pull away from him, shocked, repulsed, and upset. Rick says to her, "I thought you loved me." It's this simple line that lets us know as the audience that Rick doesn't have it all together upstairs. Emma scoffs at him, telling him to get a clue, that she only felt sorry for him.

Before Rick winds up resenting Emma for not reciprocating his love for her, Emma seems to come full circle in her interactions with Rick. This seemed to be very healthy for him until, of course, he was humiliated on stage, and his delusions of Emma flirting with him were shattered when he was forced to face reality. It makes me wonder what would have happened if Rick hadn't been pranked on stage and was still rejected by Emma. Would it have hurt as much if he got to win the tournament and receive positive feedback from all of his pupils? I'm inclined to believe that while, sure, he would have been hurt, he wouldn't have resorted to a gun. Emma's rejection was simply the straw that broke the camel's back, the icing on the cake of despair.

Toby

Toby's character becomes something of a glorified extra in season three all the way to season seven where he actually becomes a recurring guest role in season six. Sadly in t.v. shows that feature a large ensemble cast, some members get thrust into the shadows. The writers don't do this intentionally; however, it is hard to give equal screen time to multiple characters, especially when you're restricted by a tight budget and twenty-two minutes of showtime. That isn't to say that they don't have any significance. In this case, I'm referring to Toby's friendship with Rick. Toby is also the only character in the whole show who Rick remained friends with all the way to his tragic end. I don't believe Rick ever meant to hurt Toby. He was just unfortunate in being caught with one of Rick's targets: Emma.

I see some people say online that one of Toby's worst offenses was befriending Rick: a known abuser. I disagree. Throughout Toby's time at Degrassi, he and his closest friend, J.T., have been growing apart since the beginning of season 3. It is even mentioned in Google's episode description of "Gangsta Gangsta" (3x06), which reads "...while J.T. leaves Toby behind by spending more time with Paige and the popular kids". In season 4 you see the pair of them, along with Manny and Liberty, hanging out in Liberty's hot tub in her backyard, but it is still suggested that J.T. prefers to spend his leisure time with Danny Van Zandt over Toby, and since the cool kids reject Toby, he sees something of himself in Rick. It has nothing to do with the fact that he put Terri in a coma. Some fans say that Toby should have condemned Rick for what he did to Terri rather than form an allegiance with him, which I think is absurd. He's a teenage boy, for one, and adolescent boys don't make for very good activists of any kind. Again, Isaacs related to Rick being a loner, not an abuser, and Rick has since acknowledged how terribly he treated Terri in the past. They were both nerdy outcasts with shared interests in role playing dice and computers. Toby certainly doesn't condone what Rick did last year, but rather accepts who Rick is in the present day as good enough of a friend as he can get at this time. I think that Toby knew that something was off about him after he visited Rick's house the day of the Whack-Your-Brain finals and heard him inflate the truth about their relationship with Jimmy and Emma. Still: it isn't his duty to be an activist. He's a kid who just needs a friend.

I've seen another voice online saying that people underestimate the impact that Toby's friendship had on Rick, a statement that I agree with. While it was certainly a tragedy what Rick did, who knows how much worse it could have been, how much further he could have spiraled, how many more lives he could have devastated, if not for the presence of Toby. It would be unthinkable to bear the brunt of being bullied completely alone with nothing but your private thoughts to console you. There was a moment in episode 4x06 where Jay slams Rick into a locker, and shortly after he does, Toby is right there to offer Rick a hand. Something as simple as helping someone off of the floor after they've been knocked down can make a huge difference to a bullied victim.

It also tells you something about Toby’s character, someone who is boastful about his victories, that he goes out of his way to make sure Rick isn't humiliated at his own game. In this case, Rick deserved to lose in such a mortifying way. A guy with an abusive history needs to keep his ego in check. Still, Toby has a heart and wants Rick to get some satisfaction out of participating in their silly bet, so he pays Darcy to kiss his friend. He even lets Rick believe that the kiss happened organically as Rick is reminiscing about it the next day. Since Jay is around to witness this ordeal, he decides to punish Toby for it by shoving him into a locker. Fun fact: we get another bit of foreshadowing in this scene. Right before Jay pushes Toby into his own locker, he explains to Jay why he did what he did. "Look. Rick’s my friend. I was just trying to save him from humiliation." How sneaky of the writers to tell us what was going to happen to Rick in the next episode! Sadly, Toby wasn't able to save Rick from humiliation when it counted the most.

Rick has also stood up for Toby. We see this in part one of "Time Stands Still." Jimmy has just joined Whack-Your-Brain and is still at odds with Rick at this time. Jay and Spinner come after Toby in an attempt to find Rick. When Toby refuses to give away his friend's whereabouts, Jay punishes him by slamming his face into the water fountain he is drinking out of. When Toby meets up with Rick, Emma, and Jimmy in the gym, he has a bloodied lip. Both Rick and Jimmy know Toby had been attacked, and Jimmy tries to pry information from Toby. Instead, it is Rick who responds to Jimmy, challenging him to see the error of not only his ways but also the ways of his friends. The most poignant part of the dialogue is when Rick says, "Toby doesn't deserve this. Nobody does." This tells the viewers a couple of things. One, it shows that Spinner, Jay, and Alex are actually bullies at this point in the story since they've reared their aggression towards Toby, a kid who, unlike Rick, has done nothing wrong. Secondly, it shows that Rick is thinking of more than just his own suffering, as he is visibly upset at the fact that his bullies came after his friend. I point this out because people tend to say that Rick's return to Degrassi in search of forgiveness is only for the sake of his ego, arguing that he doesn't take into account anything else except his own problems and his own suffering. This scene with Jimmy proves that he is capable of feeling sorry for more than just himself. Abuser or not, Rick’s display of sympathy for Toby proves that he's not the "psycho" that everyone has branded him. Notice that Rick doesn't say "I don't deserve this," which takes the focus away from himself, but rather says that no one deserves to be tortured by other humans, and he is right. Granted, he does say right before how he has "...been suffering for weeks," which suggests that the viewers should garner empathy for Rick's situation, but nonetheless, Rick has the moral high ground for the first time in the series.

While this essay was dedicated to those who showed kindness towards Rick that most would argue he didn't deserve, it's a tragic irony that two of the people on this list are the ones he targeted at the end of his character arc. I remember watching the "Time Stands Still" two-parter and feeling a mix of emotions from indignation, to anxiety, to sadness. Toby could only watch helplessly as his friend was determined to kill his other friend since seventh grade. Before Rick pulled a gun, Toby tried to convince Rick to stay home after the prank, but Rick insisted that that was the one time he wanted to be at school. Toby tries to talk Rick out of it, but Rick isn't hearing any of it. The cold, malicious glare he gives Emma the entire time Sean tries to deescalate the situation is so unnerving. It's like he doesn't even see Toby standing in the halls with them, or doesn't care. Although Rick felt like he was betrayed by Jimmy, Toby was truly betrayed by Rick. I can't imagine being the person associated with a dead school shooter because I was friends with him. Rick might not have aimed a gun at Toby's face, and Toby might not have wrestled for the gun the way Sean did, but he was just as impacted by the shooting as Emma and Sean.

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy Drew Season 4 Analysis masterpost

If you've enjoyed any of my meta analysis posts for Season 4 of Nancy Drew, I've grouped them all together in a handy little post!

4x01 Examining that Nancy x Ace scene from 4x01

4x02 Nancy x Ace and the case of emotional intimacy in 4x02

4x02 Nan-spreading: An exploration of Bro!Nancy

4x03 Be still my beating heart - examining that Nancy x Ace moment from 4x03

4x04 An ode to Ace's heartbreak in 4x04

4x05 Nancy x Ace and that confrontation at the morgue

4x06 Love & ferrets - Ace in 4x06

4x07 Nancy x Ace and the case of miscommunication in 4x07

4x08 Nancy x Ace and the enigma of hope in 4x08

4x08 Nancy's moment of grief

4x09 Ace and the paradox of finding peace in 4x09

4x10 - Nancy x Ace and the quandary of choice in 4x10

4x11 - Nancy x Ace and the riddle of knowledge in 4x11

4x12 - Nancy x Ace and the conundrum of pain in 4x12

4x13 - Nancy x Ace and the soulmate we choose ourselves in 4x13

4x13 - Nancy x Ace and the lives we guard in 4x13

GIF Credit @yellenabelova 

[cloysterbell]

Hello, I really love your meta posts (I've recently been enjoying your Haven meta) and I was wondering if you had any meta/thoughts/headcanons/theorises about how the Knights would react to finding out that Merlin was a sorcerer? Imagine they had learnt earlier in the series or they learnt when Arthur did except nobody died. I know, I know. But just think about the most ideal moment when they weren't fighting for their lives and dropping like flies. If Merlin had to use his magic to protect him or just felt compelled to confess for some reason (maybe he thought he was dying and needed to get it off his chest) how do you think they would all react? Would they hate him at first? Would they wonder why he didn't tell them? Would they laugh and be supportive? Would they be like "ah ha! I knew it!" or would they think he was joking until they saw his eyes?

Oh wow I haven't thought about this in probably 10 years. Uhhhhh let's see.......

Obviously Gwaine, first off. Since he seems to have no real beef with magic as a concept, just those who use it given that he's from Lot's kingdom initially (right...? or is that fanon......??) he'd almost definitely be fully supportive of Merlin but would probably feel super betrayed that Merlin didn't trust him enough to confess. Gwaine is so ride or die for Merlin so of course, that would hurt, but he'd probably come around quickly once he digested Merlin's reasoning. He understands, he's a lot smarter than everyone thinks he is. Anyway, the second Gwaine found out, regardless of if he'd forgiven Merlin for lying or not, he'd be immediately defending Merlin from everyone who wanted to stir the pot

I think Percival has secretly known for a while. He always gave me vibes of he knows so much more than he lets on so there was probably a high chance he saw Merlin secretly doing magic on hunts once or twice and just never said anything. He was probably surprised but had enough time to process it before Merlin was discovered so it didn't come as too much of a surprise

Leon probably reacted the strongest since he was Uther's knight before he was Arthur's. And he was probably super conflicted too because he knows Merlin, he respects Merlin, but magic is still dangerous and a crime. I feel like he probably would've initially followed the laws and would've arrested Merlin but he would've felt so so bad about it. Merlin, of course, wouldn't fight back because he gets it, he knows who Leon is too, but Arthur would have to step in (in this AU where Arthur knows) and would have to mediate. Leon would eventually come around but I think the most reluctantly out of anyone. If it were anyone else, he never would've, but for Merlin (and Arthur), he would

Elyan (in this AU where he doesn't die) I think would also be reluctant mostly because I think he's the most afraid of magic. He'd never admit that but magic killed his dad and he got super possessed in whatever that banger of an episode was. Plus he died because he fought a magic sword and lost. So like, he definitely has beef with magic. But I think Merlin's just so dang charismatic that he would eventually somewhat change Elyan's mind, though I don't think Elyan ever really loses his distrust of magic. He just trusts Merlin enough that it's mostly okay. He still gets a little jumpy though whenever Merlin does anything

Lancelot never finds out. He would kill Merlin immediately on sight if he knew and then would attempt to kill Arthur for harboring a criminal. Team Lancelot 2k24 let's goooo #Gwencelot

So tl;dr because it's Merlin, the knights would each go about it differently but I think they'd all be okay with it at the end. Maybe not magic as a whole, but definitely with Merlin having it. We've all seen that campfire scene in 4x05. Merlin's their brother and they're all ride or die for him (but Gwaine is the most)

[deluweil]

Watched the episode, I am so confused.

Probably gonna have to watch it a few more times before I gif it into deep meta posts.

But it was emotional and sweet, and I really loved the Chimney and Hen journey guides.

And I'm pretty sure dream Bobby was more Peter than Bobby, loved it!!

It was clear why Eddie wasn't there and why Bobby was dead in that reality. It was heartbreaking and touching and amusing (angry guy and ghost Bobby),

The end felt a little like "dream a little dream" from spn with the two Evan Buckleys. Hell of a scene, well done Oliver!

I was a little sad and somewhat confused that Buck went to the loft with the stairs, so much for no strenuous activity. (For someone who recovered from surgery in a house with stairs, it's freaking hard.)

At the very least, if not the Diaz household (which was the obvious choice) the Han resistance would have been nice. No stairs, house full of family.

Or the Nash home, Bobby and Athena would have loved to have Buck there for the duration, and no stairs!

I don't know, didn't feel very convincing.

I think I'm happy (is that the word)? That Buck gets his bio parents taking care of him for a while. He wanted that, in his dream world, maybe reality will be kind too for a change.

I love Jennifer's and Oliver's interaction, the affection is so clear.

Eddie and Carla sneaking Christopher to see Buck was such an amazing scene, Eddie’s "I couldn't tell him no." Really got me to tear up. And apparently, Aisha wasn't the only one who teared up. 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

Athena's "Wake up!" Was completely reminiscent of TK's mom in LS yelling in his ear (even though there she was completely a dream) to wake up.

Athena is totally Buck's mom. Like May said to Bobby, Athena brought two kids into the marriage, and Bobby brought one. - The best father-daughter scene so far! I loved it!

Eddie will probably get his own mini meta for all that we got to see of him, but the scenes were framed in a hurting spouse waiting for his significant other to wake up, while having to be a functioning adult to their kid.

And Eddie may not have had a full crying scene, but he did cry with Christopher in the room as Christopher talked to Buck.

In 4x14 it was during covid time, Buck couldn't physically be there all the time, I think that what made the difference here.

But I'll be honest, I'm a bit disappointed we didn't get a one on one scene with Eddie talking to Buck.

It felt, like 4x05, that this episode was more Buckley family oriented- the ending, I mean, than Buck returning to his chosen family, who he himself sought out in his coma dream to help him get back.

So it felt nice to see the parents' attempt at redemption, but also a bit forced and a little out of place.

The Buck with the X on the Ley was a foreshadowing for this episode. Dream Bobby tells Buck that he saved him by being Buck.

Being Buck saved Bobby, and it saved Eddie and Christopher. And I am still mad we didn't get to hear those words out of Eddie yet, but for some reason, the writers are holding back on the emotional confessions between those two.

Now Chimney's and Buck’s and for that matter Hen's and Buck’s siblings relationship is all out there to see, hell even Albert's connection to Buck is an obvious annoying (but sweet, I was so happy to see him again!!) little brother role.

Even May, subtly suggesting in this episode, that Buck is sort of a familiar fixture in the Nash household and a sort of brother to her through Bobby's marriage to her mom.

But there is no clear way to describe Buck's and Eddie's relationship because it's not a sibling one. It's way past work partners. Best friends don't act like that (unless they get together eventually), Co-parents? Isn't that a couples thing? It's not platonic, I'll tell you that.

And the fact that we're 6 seasons (5 since Eddie and Christopher joined) in and still have an unclear path written in canon really bugs me sometimes.

But, all and all for a 43-minute episode, it was really good, fun, and tear jerking, I loved all the little markings in the dream, that reminded Buck of core memories (that started with Eddie’s voice, and the tsunami with Christopher. 👀)

I loved this episode and am really waiting for "Recovery".

Oliver said that his caretakers and all the hovering get a bit too much. Now, knowing his parents and Maddie look after him, I can see where this is going to go.

And having already watched the promo, I really hoped Bobby wouldn't get into this much trouble, but sadly, he does, it's very Buck of him, just saying lol like son like father, I guess? 👀❤️