#4amkatara

[girlgerard]

whenever you rb my mbs you yell ab the exact same pictures i yelled ab while making them and i am like hm... you loved venus in fur didn’t you

to feel seen one must first feel exposed

[paradoxspaceheater]

omg.... Please share your qin su headcanons!!!

qin su hcs: part 2!

she’s very close with her father (qin cangye, i mean, not jgs) and she goes to visit him and her brothers every year, sometimes with jgy, sometimes alone

(in aus where she discovers the circumstances of her birth, she still considers herself a qin and qcy as her real father)

her public persona is that of a dutiful and innocent beauty, but she’s a lot more astute and involved in the politics of koi tower than most people realize! back when the previous madam jin was still alive she and qin su had somewhat of an internal power struggle going on, and qs was also involved in helping jgy to secure the position of sect leader

unfortunately she never got to meet jiang yanli! they probably would have been good friends though

because of her lack of martial skill, she didn’t attend the wen indoctrination. her second brother did though, and told her and their other siblings all sorts of possibly-slightly exaggerated stories about the things wen chao made them do

she loves to write poetry and once ranked second in a poetry competition hosted by the jin sect

she cannot cook 😔 she always gets anxious and messes up

she’s a hopeless romantic tbh and loves giving gifts. she’s also very bi

her eyes are a nice dark warm brown, and she has long eyelashes

[paradife-loft]

nmj for the ask game!

ahaha, I figured at some point I’d get one that wasn’t all easy sunshine and rainbows gushing for paragraphs XD

well, ok. I think probably the thing I like most about Nie Mingjue is the way he really, truly is also an unfortunate crispy marshmallow full of trauma and resultant bad decisions just the same as everyone else is?? a lot of ink has been spilled by other people writing very eloquently about the way being raised to the expectation of pretty inevitably dying before his time for his clan has given him a perspective on what’s important in life that very few other characters have; about, similarly, the militarised culture the Qinghe Nie are more steeped in than most other sects even before the Sunshot campaign begins due to territorial encroachment, and the way operating as a sect leader and military commander starting at such a young age, where others are regularly laying down their life for him, have shaped the justifications he needs to hold onto as to what kinds of sacrifices of whom are necessary.

and that’s really the core of what makes him a sympathetic character to me, is the very clear throughline between the burden of responsibilities that shaped him, and (like everyone) the dysfunctional, destructive ways he internalises their messages and the coping mechanisms he needs to build to deal with them.

(in its own way, I also do like in CQL particularly, that we see how a decade of building resentment, how reinterpreting events after the fact and getting ever more caught in his own biased memories and interpretations, affects the way he’s even able to show others the knowledge of history he has access to. eyewitness unreliability, and the fluidity of memory more generally, are topics/themes that are very important to me and I really appreciate the role he plays in bringing those ideas up in the story.)

oh and, I do also very much like that he can make Lan Xichen smile and open up emotionally and not always have to be the oh-so-calm-composed-responsible-Zewu-jun in his presence!! because er-ge being happy and having someone to reassure him and lay his burdens down with occasionally is important to me 🥺🥺🥺 so he can stay, for a bit, for now :P

[fatalism-and-villainy]

hmm nieyao?? curious to hear ur thoughts on it

Unfortunately I don't have many thoughts about it. I don't really like 3zun or its subships at all, honestly, with the exception of Xiyao (and even that's... complicated).

Why don’t you ship it?

Honestly? A not insignificant reason is that I just don't find Nie Mingjue very attractive. Big burly guys with mustaches are not my thing, and aesthetics/attractiveness is a factor in why I like ships. If there ever was a place to be shallow, it's in shipping *shrug*

Furthermore, I just... don't like Nie Mingjue very much - his worldview and ideological approach are pretty off-putting to me, and I find his conflict with Jin Guangyao to be not particularly appealing or juicy as a result.

Another factor here is that I just did not get a shippy vibe from them upon first watching CQL, and the insistence from shippers that this was the only way to read their scenes, and there's no heterosexual explanation for this, just kind of put me off it out of spite. I've never claimed to not be petty...

What would have made you like it?

I would probably have to like Nie Mingjue more, but that would require him to be a different character, and as such the ship would be different, so.... I got nothing.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Oh yeah! It's got a lot of crunchy potential, and lots of skewed, fucked-up power dynamics. And I do love a good ship in which one half of it murders the other. Just not this particular one.

[esmeraldablazingsky]

im brigitta!!! nickname is bri, she/her (...i think), my fave character are lxc and jgy (also will graham), i got here bc we both like mdzs and xiyao and your art is *chef’s kiss*

hello!! nice to meet (?) you! extremely valid taste in characters although I still don’t know anything about will graham, and also thank you very much :)

[irrealisms]

21 and 34 for the writer asks??

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) hmmmmm i don’t actually know that i have one right now! there are a lot of pairings, both platonic and romantic, that i have fun with, but not really a single standout favorite. in terms of ‘throughout my fic writing career’, all my favorite stuff is russingon. they own my soul v thoroughly.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

He’s chain-smoking, because he always smokes when he gets maudlin, because it distracts him and he likes the acrid smell of it and the way that it buzzes on his skin, because it’s something to do with his mouth that’s not chewing on pens until the ink spills out or asking too many inappropriate questions. Because he’s hungry and the nicotine--increases dopaminergic projections to the nucleus accumbens, along with binding to α3β4 receptors, both of which could apparently inhibit appetite. He had decidedly not known any of that two seconds ago, but that’s--fine.

Honestly, I’m very fond of every time I write Jon POV and insert some random Beholding Knowledge(tm) into the fic. usually when i’m writing a fic and get distracted by a totally irrelevant research tangent none of it makes it into the final version! but when i’m writing Jon i get to just have him Know It and it adds some flavor to the whole thing. v fun stuff.

[morifinwes]

is this from my sideblog🥺🥺 I FEEL LIKE IM DOING IT WRONG

it's not 🥺 buT YOU CAN DO IT. make a post, draft one or queue one from your side blog, then send an ask. your icon & name should be your side blog

[vespertineflora]

jiggy for the character ask!!

OH NO i just did one for jiggy. Should I............ idk i’ll do lan xichen in compensation xD

How I feel about this character: He is....... my sweet sad son. I know i live in like 24/7 jgy hours most of the time, but that’s bc jgy hours mean i live in a fantasy world where awful things don’t happen and by PROXY that mean lxc gets to not be so desperately sad and alone that my heart aches over it. when it comes down to actual canon and not my happy au realm, lxc is my favorite 🥺

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Jgy first and foremost and ofc nmj, and BOTH. (and maybe someday i’ll write the post canon fic that lives mostly in my head where i give lxc an OC friend/bf who helps him heal)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: ........ you know i don’t even know. lxc keeps almost everyone at arms’ length which is why i’m so SAD for him in the end, bc he’s very very alone. i’ve like to think that maybe he could reconcile his brotherly relationship with huaisang??? or maybe bond with wwx, that would also be nice. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: AGAIN this is hard just bc.......... what are the popular opinions????? i lead a very insulated fandom life xD I like bottom/sub!lxc, and i feel like i see way more top lxc in art. Or maybe “lxc wasn’t TRICKED by jgy, he did know most of who jgy was, jgy just kept certain crimes from him” tho maybe that applies more for jgy xD One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more scenes with him? i would have loved to see more of his time with people, more of his scenes with 3zun. i know the story’s not ABOUT him, but STILL

[homobiwan]

Rules: 7 comfort films and tag 7 people

Thanks for the tag @ellie-you-idiot (does this sound passive-aggressive, bestie? BECAUSE IT IS) (jk ily)

Heathers

Emma (1996)

Mulan (1998)

The Hunt for Red October

Mean Girls

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Black Widow (1987)

Tagging @flor-e-ncia @shut-up-merlin @witchmd13 @stagecrime @guaposauce @4amkatara @azaharperezoso

[unmovings]

changed my @ to 4amkatara.. i still love zutara i just wanted a change! also gotta rep katara cause shes been getting too much hate lately

[paradoxspaceheater]

4, 12 and 60!

4. Best Symbolism

oo that’s a tough one! i’ll go with.... that little moment at the end of cql where nhs picks up jgy’s hat and gets blood on his hand.. honorable mention to sandu like. in general

12. Saddest Moment

the cliff scene in cql, and in mdzs probably.. wwx and jc’s last conversation at guanyin temple 😭

60. Favorite Character Development

hmmm jzx probably? i know that’s a common answer but his arc is really good! we stan his self-improvement and i think a lot about that throwaway line in the novel about him mitigating his mother’s anger and indirectly protecting jgy,, where are my jin brothers stans at!

The Untamed / MDZS ask game

[greenwitching]

popular opinion YOU are very wonderful and deserve happiness 💌💌💌 metaphorically i am making your fave soup for u rn 🍲 (even though i do not know what your fave soup is? let me know!)

thank you bri!! 💚💚💚

(my favorite soup is potato and broccoli)

[fatalism-and-villainy]

xiyao for the ask meme!

I really like their canon content in CQL! Especially towards the end - the scene with JGY giving back the jade token, their interactions in the temple, etc. It’s a bit like the Yi City dynamic in that I don’t think about them with much emotional engagement on my own, but do get very invested while I’m watching. 

I will say I also appreciate the fantasy of... “this person is so Good and Perfect, and thus I am wrong and tainted for wanting them” being met with the catharsis of reciprocity.

[vespertineflora]

10 and 59 for the ask game!

:D thank you!

10. Favourite Fanfic Set-Up

hmmmm, I gotta say, just overall, it’s probably anything that fits the bill of “these characters come down with a sudden case of ‘Must Fuck Immediately,’” Fuck or Die curses, Sex Pollen, Heats, etc etc etc. this CAN be characters IN a relationship already, though I usually favor the “these two people are in love and just haven’t told each other yet!” brand of set up. I’ve written at least four of these babies already  (three wangxians and a nieyao), with plans for at least another wangxian and a xiyao fic with similar circumstances. it’s just???? so delicious??? the urgency, the desperation, and in fuck or die, the STAKES? these two characters being in love but also being terrified to admit it? haphazardly navigating their way to some form of consent  while one or both of them are already drunk on whatever is affecting them??? it’s so complicated and messy and i love it a lot.

59. Character That Surprised You The Most

i’m gonna say for this one, xue yang. i watched the donghua first then jumped to the drama, and i was absolutely surprised to a) see xue yang turn up so soon when i’d been told he wasn’t meant to show up until later in the story, but MORE SO, i was surprised at how much i LOVED his pucky asshole attitude and his evil little shit-eating grins. the whole first part of his story, he’s literally just trying to have a good time and it’s HILARIOUS.

[fatalism-and-villainy]

@4amkatara re: this thread (it’s getting long to reblog):

ohh yes!! i agree so much w what you said abt prioritising the collective. i think him putting others’ needs before his own is partly based in trauma, but i also think there’s a difference between that happening in personal/esp. familial relationships, and him putting the collective over his personal needs as a leader. the first may feed into the second, but i don’t think prioritising the collective is necessarily bad or unhealthy. imo it’s the duty of a leader to do that!

Yeah, exactly. I think his relationship with LWJ is definitely the most, mmm... draining for him in that sense, because so much of that is him looking after LWJ’s emotional needs, including when they’re both still children (the LWJ-kneeling-in-the-snow scene definitely gives me the vibe of LXC having to put aside his own grief because LWJ is being a bit more... disruptive, about how he’s expressing that). So I think he’s definitely got some unhealthy inclinations when it comes to expressing needs of his own. But yeah, I just don’t think that acknowledging those needs in a healthier way is necessarily diametrically opposed with continuing to serve others in a more institutional way (as opposed to interpersonal). And i think taking up his duties again after being in seclusion would probably be good for him.  

 and even if prioritising the collective was unhealthy, i don’t think pulling a 180 and just saying fuck the collective is the way to deal w that. lwj does jump from extremes like that but i don’t think his repression and obedience -> extreme devotion and putting love over all else is really. good or healthy or even romantic? i can see the appeal but it’s just not really for me

OH MOOD. I get the appeal of LWJ’s single-minded undying love of WWX as a trope, but I personally get a bit uncomfortable when people emphasize that aspect of their relationship, because I think that LWJ’s “my boyfriend, right or wrong” attitude is in many ways just as maladaptive as his teenage rigidity about The Rules. (And I think a lot of that is based in his trauma around WWX dying, too.) I think that’s part of why I prefer LWJ staying with the Lan and finding a way to make the sect rules work for him without completely uncritically adhering to them, to LWJ just leaving his sect so he can spend his days wandering around with WWX. Because his upbringing and his values are important to him, and I don’t want him to just chuck those out the window for the sake of love. (Especially because part of what I like about wangxian is that they have very different lifestyles and approaches to things like values, and so much of their relationship - I want to say especially in CQL? - is about compromise and actively coming to an understanding of each other. And I prefer that aspect of them to “abandoning the rest of the world because all we need is each other.” And he’s also got the juniors! Whom he cares about and who are a good place to funnel his energy that is not WWX.

(This is also related to why I really want LWJ to make some other friends post-canon.)  

and oh!! not to write for ages lol but yeah he’s not like his mom in that sense! i was thinking more of what he saw of his mom, which we at least see in cql as her smiling and pretending everything’s fine even in a situation that, though lxc didn’t know the details of, could probably sense was not. ideal

which is partly why the thing w deprioritising himself is imo linked to his childhood with his personal relationships. the idea that that’s how he should act as a parental figure, esp. after madam lan is gone and lwj is still kneeling at her door waiting for her to come back, influences his relationship w lwj a lot imo where he tries to kinda imitate it w lwj (though the deprioritisation/always putting on a smile/etc is partly is just who lxc is and how he deals with the pressures placed on him)

Ohhh, yeah, that makes sense! And what’s so telling to me is the way he seems to present her not making a fuss as a positive thing to WWX - and while I’m sure he’s still aware of the tragedy behind it, and how she was kind of forced to behave that way by her situation, it still seems to have influenced a lot of his notions of virtue and good behaviour.

(And I feel like LWJ took the exact opposite lesson from it, given that he would not fake a smile for diplomacy if you paid him. Part of that is just how his face is, but he also has zero interest in placating people he does not care for or respect.)

[fatalism-and-villainy]

6 and 7 for the salt ask game!

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

The only example I can think of for this is the Silmarillion fandom, with Finrod/Curufin. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t particularly like it either. It grew on me (in part due to having friends who were into it :3) and now it is still my example of “sometimes fanon ships are good actually.” I actually have like 700-800 words of a fic for it written, but idk when that’ll actually get done since so much of my energy is channeled towards MDZS right now.

7.  Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

Again, unfortunately, my only example that really fits this is Silm - I don’t think I’ve been in MDZS fandom long enough to see these kinds of shifts in my feelings - and that is Celebrimbor/Sauron. Used to be a ship I was really into, got bad associations due to a falling out with a friend who was also into it, and now I’m just kind of put off by what I see of how it’s shipped nowadays (seems to be far more uhh... traditional romance? for my taste).

In general, I’m more likely to have my feelings swayed to dislike by fandom behaviour for something I already wasn’t interested in, and while I definitely have that for certain MDZS ships, they weren’t ships I particularly liked in the first place.