#400 hours on this game I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING

[katadastical]

I JUST SAW A GHOST TRAIN GOING FROM LEMOYNE TO NEW HANOVER AT 3AM WHATTTTTT

[floorbo]

top 5 games despite us being best friends i dont actually know too much about your interests

5) Modnation Racers: shitty little racing game on the ps3 but it was the first game i ever played and cemented my love of games

4) Baldurs Gate 3: this one really needs no words. masterclass of a videogame which i will be playing again and again until the heat death of the universe

3) Team Fortress 2: i have 400 hours in this hat simulator with guns

2) In Stars And Time: isat fucking changed my brain and also helped me realize that maybe im not cis

1) Don't Starve/Don't Starve Together: idk that theyre two seperate games theyre essentually the same thing.

Don't starve was my first ever fandom, the first game i wrote (long lost) fic about, and the first game i ever hit 100 hours on.

words cannot state how much i adore both these games and these devs and i genuinely believe that id be a different person if i didnt play them. i could go on for hours about what is good about those games but i dont wanna write an essay.

i hope this wasnt to pretentious i just love videogames man

[imgunnagetyou]

Stormlight Archive review of all 5 books + 2 novellas (Brandon Sanderson)

i dont know how to start this

i got a pran, a pran of cingles

stormlight archive fuckin sucks and im going to try to explain why

actually, a small disclaimer. an interesting thing i learned about brandon was that in 2019 he visited shitrael as he was invited to some ‘con. now, one could argue, for example, he didnt know what shitrael was doing to Palestine. unfortunately, i also learned that his fans had protested and told him not to go, to which brandon responded with something along the lines of “i dont believe in boycotting” or “boycotting doesnt work” or some shit. “Another lesser-known issue is Sanderson’s visit to Israel in 2019 as a guest of honor for the science fiction and fantasy convention, ICon. In an interview with The Jerusalem Post, Sanderson expressed that the invitation was one that some asked him to declined stating, “My general inclination is I don’t generally boycott no matter what. I don’t think it’s an effective way to cause social change. I think there are other and better ways. So I didn’t agree with these requests.”” from expertbooksmuggler. now, i literally had to google if brandon is american. he is, he was born in nebraska in like 1970s or something. one of the most famous boycotts of all time in this country is the Rosa Parks Bus Boycott. which worked. to claim boycotting doesnt work is profoundly stupid thing to say. so either brandon is horrifically ignorant and doesnt know of the hundreds of boycotts that have worked and are working today, or he supports shitrael. i cant buy that he just doesnt know. all of this is to say, i no longer wish to support this author for this reason and also multiple reasons of genuinely problematic things i found in these books. its also to let you know that i know, and i can let you know.

this review is not very well organised at all. so if you thought youd read the review until i said “ok spoilers for oathbringer” then stop, dont do that. im going to be spoiling all 5 books plus novellas all over the place during this review, this is only suitable to read if you dont care for spoilers or have already read the books.

SOME MATH: Those last two hundred or so pages are usually great, but I have to ask myself if the rest of the book can stand on equal footing. if only the end of a book is the good part, why should i read any of it? im not going to play a game for 50 hours because "it gets good at max level" or some shit, it should be good IMMEDIATELY. same goes for books. if someone recommends me a 1k page book and says "it gets good at 800 pages in" im not reading that shit. this the entirety of StAr reading experience. i did a little bit of fucked up math. lets claim the average reading speed 200 words per minute, 400 words on the page. 3-4 mins on a page. average time spent on reading a day, 15-20m. 4500 words a day. 320,000 words in 800 pages. 71 days or 1700 hours. math is probably wrong, but you get the point..

FILLER: lets be real, the way of kings is just a giant prologue... 1k pages of set up. id argue someone could start the series at words of radiance and treat way of kings as a .5 prequel and theyd be completely fine tbh. theres an insane amount of filler in these books, considering if they were edited by someone with a brain, theyd still be 500-700+ page books. length of book =/ epic... compare to lotr: its considered the greatest epic fantasy of all time (i think) and tolkien achieved that in... about 1500 pages. or the hobbit, which is barely 300 pages..

filler is a horrible problem in these books, as ive already noted. now i cant remember when this particular interlude happened, but its not a spoiler anyway lol. either in radiance or oathbringer, we get a random pov from some herdazian man who is about to get executed and the judge or wtv gives him the option to get beheaded or get "the hog" while oiled up. the hog turns out to be some giant sea creature or something. the interlude chapter ends. it never comes up again... at first i thought lopen, being herdazian, would make some sort of joke about the hog and we'd be like ahh i saw that. but no. and its like, are you fucking serious? this book is 1k pages long and we still get this random ass filler? ??? im so confused..

for a bunch of 1k+ books with filler, why the fuck are we missing giant, pivotal moments that we shouldve seen? for example: in oathbringer, jasnah just. coming back. people thought she was dead for months, and we dont get any scenes with her reuniting with her family and shallan???? what lol??? when her death is revealed by shallan to navani and dalinar, navani mopes for a bit, then forgors when shallan almost dies (doesnt unfortunately) but her death goes strangely unmentioned for the rest of the book... elhokar literally started a war over the murder of his father, yet when his sister is murdered he doesnt give a shit? what?

in rhythm, I kept wondering how many more chapters filled with science experiments I could endure before I would officially give up. theres no way anybody , even die hard fans, give enough of a shit about the science of this world to read multiple page long chapters that go on and on about the fucking fabrials. like, its great that you have this information as a writer of fantasy. however, WE DONT NEED ALL THE FUCKIN DETAILS!!!! if I wanted to read about this many god damn experiments I would have majored in a fucking science. the only good part of those chapters were raboniel, and of course the manipulative navani kills her, giving me another reason to hate her..

taravangian: why yes, do please tell me again (for the 100th time!) that Tara is dumb/smart depending on the day. you did not make this point very clear in the previous novel, so do please repeat it every other sentence when it is a Tara chapter. every. single. time. this is actually a little bit of this telling not showing thing that happens a lot in these books. couldve just SHOWN us he was stupid or smart that day with his tests or thoughts or whatever but nah you had to just tell us directly

adolin: in wind and truth, I cannot figure out why every single Adolin chapter has to rehash his feelings towards his father. We heard about them 30 pages ago, we don't need it again, I have memory. the worst part of this book is just how little of a real story is present. For each of the ten "days" very little actually happens. Adolin, for instance, starts the book making a forlorn last stand at a fortress. by day eight, 900 pages later, he's still there doing the same thing. Kaladin starts off on an epic fetch quest, in which he visits about a dozen essentially identical locations (including recursive versions in flashbacks) with no sense of unravelling mystery or significance. by the end of the book, he's still doing the same thing.

for a book with 1.3k pages, there is insane amount of filler, "balanced" by completely ignoring massive events that happen in the book. kaladin finally getting his bridge four tattoo: like one sentence. taln waking up and fighting his way through multiple fused to defend people and dying: literally off screen. fuck even dalinars death is off screen. and i really wouldve loved to see him die. he didnt burn alive like he deserved to but I DESERVED TO WATCH HIM FUCKING DIE!!! also: shallans mom being chana, oh who cares i didnt either... gavinor being 20 years older, nobody cares about that, he kinda just disappears at the end. youd think he’d be hanging around dalinars body and people would be like who the fuck is this guy but nah and last, the issues of how the 10 day format caused the plot to be static and stall for 1k pages lol. first 100-200 pages, ok, last 100-200 pages, ok, inbetween? why am i still here.... just to suffer...

ROMANCE: brandon, i believe has said he hates writing romance and it shows... im gone say it: if navani was a man, you would hate her. IF NAVANI WAS A MAN YOUD HATE HER!!! she literally coerces dalinar into getting with her like 3 times, he constantly saying no every single time, practically begging her to leave him alone until he finally gives in and gets with her. how do yall like her? if their roles were swapped, you would fucking hate dalinar for constantly harassing navani, but since the woman did it, i guess its fine.. the hypocrisy is fucking crazy

the fucking betrothal... apparently this is a unpopular opinion, but frankly i dont give a fuck if your book takes place in a fantasy world with 0 concept of pedophilia*... as the author, you have the choice to make your characters ages the way they are... why the fuck is shallan 17 and adolin 25 grown ass man? if this was real world, hes be in jail bruh. and its supposed to be romantic... his CONTINUED SEXISM!!! which shallan literally notices but AGAIN is not mentioned or confronted. wtf? note its like when i read a classic from 1800s and its racist as fuck and i go i dont like this book its racist as fuck then every fucker and his mother come to tell me noooo its from the 1800s it was ok to be racist then. ok? i dont give a fuck racism is bad now it was bad then.. i dont care whats normal for the time lol. im going to dislike it, and again, as a fantasy writer, you literally have the option to age up or down your characters, there was no need for this straight up fucking pedophilia. idk if im reaching, but i seriously feel like a lot of authors write fantasy like theyre writing historical fiction. youre writing fantasy... youve created your own religions, cultures etc just for them to have the exact same problems we have/had in medieval times. sexism? (including child marriage apparently, with the girl kaladin had a crush on get married at 14/15 to a man who had to be 45+ and nobody gives a shit. also the thing brandon did where she ended up actually liking/loving him is kinda fuckin weird. girl no shes a fucking victim of pedophilia, forced marriage and hell, stockholm syndrome too apparently. we not doing this fuckin noooo she actually ended up loving him uwu) racism? slavery? you betcha, for everyone even. like girl write fantasy. yk what the real fantasy would be? 0 prejudice. world fuckin peace. i mean cmon get creative here..

again: terrible romance. i mildly rooted for shallan and kal to get together, because they are at least closer in age... but frankly she shouldve stayed single. this is another problem in the series that seems to come up, why it seems all main female characters are, really, FORCED to get into relationships with men, (for example jasnah and wit getting together for no reason at all). maybe i am reaching here but it just seems weird, especially considering that all the relationships suck such massive unwashed cock. NOT TO MENTION... despite shallan spending more time in oathbringer thinking about kaladin and how hot he is, (we spend time in adolin and shallan pov, they hardly think about each other??) somehow she and adolin "love" each other after 3 months of meeting. Why? Why The Fuck? not to mention AGAIN adolins BLATANT SEXISM at the end where he says "ill let him have you", shallan repeats it like she couldnt believe he said that, then adolin is like "dont make this harder :(((" then shallan goes on an unbelieveable speech about how she loves and wants to fuck adolin. wow. turns out sexism works when you use it on a 17 year old girl who has no self worth to fall back on. TAKE NOTES GUYS!!!! no wonder he DOESNT FUCKING GROW!!

rlain and renarin: while rlain and renarins relationship is great to see in a sanderson book, its not well written at all. It’s partially the fault of the fact that Sanderson didn’t know what to do with Renarin’s character, partially the fault of the fact that Sanderson has positioned Rlain as The Token Parshendi. rlain and renarin get so little screen time that when they get together i dont believe it... we’ve SEEN them interact like 3 times so we never see any sort of friendship grow at all. so i couldnt give less of a fuck about their relationship because i dont know or care about these fucking people. yay gay written by a mormon i guess guys look hes not homophobic... this literally wouldve been fixed by giving renarin or rlain or both a fucking pov in earlier books but nah. "im worried to write gay characters because im scared to mess it up" heres a hint sanderson. WRITE THEM AS PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE GAY!!!! Finally, I’ve been uncomfortable with how Sanderson handles Rlain’s character since the Bridge Four days. His role here feels very similar to that of the Listeners in the context of the war. He experiences xenophobia throughout the series, and that’s never really been addressed.

GENUINELY PROBLEMATIC THINGS:

In this book, Shallan says, "Slavery was a mercy for the lower classes." The darkeyes. Sanderson goes out of his way to highlight the different schools of thought, as though he is setting up for a rebellion.(which never happens) But Shallan is so accepting of slavery that it rubs me wrongly. Her nickname for Kaladin throughout the book is "bridgeboy," (as with adolin) which is a reference to his role as a slave. Why is a main character sympathetic to enslaving darkeyes? idk if im reaching, but if i was kaladin, i would not want to be reminded of the part of my life where i literally considered suicide as an escape. not only “bridgeman” - bridge BOY. even more disrespectful as fuck. reminding him of slavery, and also demeaning the fuck out of him, for no reason. adolin starts calling him that out of racism i guess, all because kaladin took control of a situation where adolin was an emotional bitch and couldnt get anything done. be grateful, dickhead. he saved your child killing father... (at the very least, stop calling him bridgeboy..)

when moash gets shard plate and then Kaladin becoming a full Surgebinder they both have their eyes lighten. At face value, it appears brandon is giving credence to the misguided class system. but guess what? by the end of these books, THIS DOESNT FUCKIN MATTER!!!! nobody cares!!! do you have any idea the implications of this??? its like if in this world there was some legit honest to god proof of white superiority, what the fuck would happen? it would be fucking chaos. itd probably be WAR!!! but these people just dont care, that there seems to be legit validity to light eyes being better

also .. man writing women syndrome galore lol. really none of the women in this series are likeable and written badly... just,, this quote from jasnah: “used a fetching face to make men do as you wish is no different from a man using muscle to force a woman to his will” im sorry... in what world is jasnah saying that? nobody with a brain should be saying that and we've already established that jasnah is very big brain lol. i think shallans entire character is men writing women, which is probably why people dislike her so much. and then manipulative navani

the racism/classism dropped plotline was the worst blow. you start the series off with the main focus being a slave who fights against an oppressive system. can you imagine just two books later you have him fully assimilated INTO the very system that enslaved him and he doesn’t even care? you’d imagine with the parshmen gone, darkeye oppression and slavery would be expanded greatly but Kaladin just doesn’t really care and neither does the narrative.

stormlight healing disabilies: why.. why is this a thing?? and nobody ever talks about it.. yeah sure its a society where they dont care about people with disabilities, but idk i was hoping for some commentary on this? maybe the people in question thinking, "hmm.. stormlight healed my seizures. was i not worthy of being a knight radiant with seizures and having to wear glasses?" (as much as having to wear glasses is a disability, its never explained how badly renarin actually needed his glasses, and when he suddenly stops wearing them, NEITHER HIS FATHER OR HIS BROTHER gives a shit and never asks about it.) its very strange. yk whats sad, when renarin was revealed to have seizures, i thought oh cool, ive only read one other book with a chara with seizures. oh neverfuckingmind its healed. i remember someone saying that it was cool renarin wore glasses. well thats healed too lmao. in wind and truth dabbid is followed around by a windspren before kaladin leaves. the guy near kaladin is like yeah dabbids had that for a while he hasnt noticed. then proceeds to say "you think itll fix his problem?" what is this trying to insinuate? he has a speech impediment, thats the only “problem” he has. and why was he singled out with rlain at the beginning to not be a squire anyway? because of the battle shock? or because he slurs? and wtf does that mean? it never goes anywhere and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. like constantly this shit that seems like everybody has to be healed by stormlight their disabilities and everybody agrees is really disturbing. people are like omg rysn!!! disabled rep waaaowoow like girl did you read the other fucking books? and shes such a background side character that doesnt even matter in the first 5 books that i dont understand what the fucks to be praised anyway…

dalinar, love him not being able to handle his war crimes, but i love even more manipulative navani ENABLING his alcohol addiction is insane LMFAO can we get a wife of the year award? she has the audacity to think "why are men allowed to be sad and drink and i have to do all the work" ???? what the fuck are you talking about? YOURE GIVING HIM THE ALCOHOL TO GET DRUNK ON!!! WHAT!?!?!?!? this bitches audacity fucking pisses be off the whole book. my blood pressure rises and i get dizzy with hate. i never liked her. i hope she dies horribly (unfortunately, i guess ill never know. at least she went into a coma, people can get a break from her manipulations.) on that note, gavilar was a piece of shit, but when he calls her out for marrying him for the power and wealth she has the audacity to get mad at him? wahhh my husband doesnt love and respect me wahhh you literally married him for power and then married his brother who is just as bad or arguably worse… for the power and wealth again. i like how it tried to tell me otherwise in rhythm where navani thinks to herself she doesnt want power or wealth and yet married gavinor. so did you marry him because you loved him? because you didnt… (also the part where she considers herself a good wife and mother. my pubic hairs are a better mother. fuck you mean)

dalinar: why do people suck dalinars cock so much, calling him a holy man when hes murdered children via fire and his wife and abused/neglected his own children.(granted this part nobody knows or can accept) if HES holy am i God? i mean seriously, even in this shitty society where they glorify murder, how the fuck are they okay with the burning of a city, the direct murder of children and his wife which btw he had zero remorse for? perhaps he left the remorselessness out of his little book, but in the real thing he couldnt have gave less of a shit... he just felt ah damn gavilar is going to beat my ass for this :\ also the end of part one of rhythm where hes "lamenting" on those murdered children that horns navani up so much they fuck? holy shit that child killer cock must go crazy. that power hungry vagina must be hungry. holy shit. if i fucked for power i would at least not be so god damn obvious or having a lack of morals. if the guy i was fucking for power was revealed to be a child murderer and wife killer i would be like dam that power dont taste that good no more

in rhythm of war, the sibling constantly dislikes navani for imprisoning spren to be used in fabrials. navani says that the other spren have said that the fabrial spren are mindless and therefore it is fine to use them in fabrials. thats weird. that is also the exact same argument they used for the slaveform parshmen, that they were mindless and therefore it is ok to use them as slaves...(this goes nowhere)

while the prejudice against people with differently coloured eyes is a mildly interesting concept, it kinda crashes when it seems the only people with eyes considered "dark" are brown only, and then i did some bare minimum googling and according to the top page first answer, 20-30% of caucasians have brown eyes, 70-80% of Black people have brown eyes, 80-90% of Asians have brown eyes, and 60-80% of Hispanic/Latino have brown eyes. (give or take in accuracy) why do i bring this up? because i remember distinctly that renarin in oathbringer was described as having "sapphire eyes". sapphires are almost always extremely dark blue, with some exceptions, (and also pink sapphires exist apparently). but he is considered light eyed, so do dark green and dark blue not count as DARK eyes? if only brown eyes are considered dark eyes, it kinda just falls back on racism toward brown and Black people again

bad rep with shallans personality disorder… now i dont have a lot i can say about this as i know next to nothing about personality disorders. however, one thing i can say, is that one “stereotype” of people with these disorders is they always have a personality/es that are violent and aggressive. and of course shallan has a violent personality that murdered ialai without her knowing. waaaoww…

why are victims forgiving their abusers? again, something i cant say too much on, but in oathbringer, dalinar claims he hears evi’s voice saying she forgives him. excuse the fuck out of me? she was verbally abused and therefore a victim of domestic abuse… why are we writing her forgiving him? especially after her noticing dalinar actively pretending renarin doesnt exist, and then you know, the part where he burned her alive ALONG WITH CHILDREN AND WOMEN??? on that note, in wind and truth, renarin has a fleeting thought that he has some “resentment” for his father, but doesnt expand on what. explain to me pls, the resentment. the neglect part? the part where he murdered your mother who was the only one in your family apparently to give a shit about you? do pray tell, what the resentment is for. this is never brought up again

Dalinar is as bad as the rapists in the army. in oathbringer, dalinar comes up to sadeas and there is a group of women who are 100% going to be given to soldiers for rape, as thats the only thing soldiers are good at in every reality apparently. i called dalinar a rapist, and someone said they dont think he was. ok. in brandons narrative, he isnt. realistically? yes. he is. but ok, but looks at this scene instead. as commander (i think he was… correct me if im wrong) (or at least a brother to the KING) he should be able to tell his soldiers to not be fucking horrible. He does not do this. when sadeas makes a remark about “looking forward to tonight”, dalinar doesnt even fucking blink. let me explain something to you guys. ill hold your hand. lets make a venn diagram. on the left side, there is a big circle, this circle is the normal people circle. on the right side, there is another big circle. this circle is the creatures who are rapists. these circles dont overlap/ there is another smaller circle. this circle is people who are silent, and do not speak up or stop things that are in their power to do so. where does this circle go? ill give you a hint. NOT IN THE NORMAL PEOPLE CIRCLE!!! you cannot be fucking neutral on shit like that. therefore, dalinar is just as bad as his rapist soldiers.

DEUS EX MACHINA GALORE: everything just conveniently good happens to the characters... in words of radiance, shallan: somehow manages to go into shadesmar just enough to set the ship on fire, survives drowning because of a FUCKING SANTHID which is NEVER EXPLAINED???? like, they know nothing about santhids. if we actually knew things about santhids, brandon could say they are like dolphins in which dolphins sometimes will randomly save a drowning person. deus ex machina? sure. believable? yes. a random nanthid which nobody knows anything about much less what they even look like? she should’ve died… and make the books slightly better! manages to persuade all those bandits or whatever into keeping her alive and they r just like aight. only one who tries to kill her is tyn who of course failed. also she becomes a master con artist so fuckin fast, especially considering how limited tyns lessons were.

kaladin: only thing i can remember is that god damn shardblade wound, which is literally supposed to be unrecoverable, but jk he drinks a healing potion from skyrim and it doesnt fuckin matter. i was like holy shit his fucking arm is fuckin gone what he gone do???? oh jk.

jasnah: somehow survives a fucking knife to the chest (can claim she used stormlight i guess), manages to teleport herself into shadesmar and proceeds to survive there for multiple months

also szeth: strangely brandon seems unable to kill characters in this series having jasnah survive impossibly bc why not, which is weird cause honestly if she died, i dont think anything fundamental wouldve changed about the books at all. shes a completely useless character… and also szeth gets approached by a fuckin god for some reason and hes like "ur cool here get resurrected like jesus. also you get an annoying sword”

dalinar randomly bonding with stormfather by just saying random words. i thought the whole point of becoming radiant was the spren in question had to really pick and choose who their knight would be and it would be about genuine intent and shit and they had to choose to possibly sacrifice themself and die but apparently u can just say some words accidentally as shown in dawnshard with lopen and the spren will go ah fuck we bonded now. not to mention, wind and truth completely just, abolished knights radiant so we go from, a spren picking a choosing and potentially sacrificing themselves all the way to... you dont even have to be bonded to have third and fourth ideals (which are apparently very difficult to achieve) swords and armour, all because adolin just talked to his fucking armour and sword sometimes. are you serious? so whats the point of radiants..probably think, oh what about their powers? well fuck what about them? truthwatcher? i dont even know what those fuckers do. elsecaller portals? who gives a shit, seems everyone can accidentally themselves into shadesmar anyway. windrunner and skybreakers seem the exact same fuckin radiant with flight... i cant even remember what the others are. they seriously seem obsolete..

no stakes: nobody can fucking die. not even a (important) minor character dies or takes a lasting injury. in oathbringer, adolin gets stabbed, and theres no way anybody worried he was going to die, no dalinar becomes god and miraculously frees them from shadesmar right where renarin is so he can heal adolin. coo. the stakes are rapidly decreasing to me in that way and reduces the fun of the action. when characters are constantly healing and battling off insurmountable odds without any failure I just lose interest. stormlight shouldve never been this powerful tbh that was a horrible decision, which couldve been solved by just not having it heal at all. or maybe keeping the cleric-like radiants (truthwatcher and edgedancer) be the healers of the group, and only they could heal other people and themselves, but nobody else can do that) good to know a character can just pause the game skyrim style and eat cheese and be fine lol

Shallan and Kaladin going through the same things they went through in the earlier books, again? Shallan has another deep dark secret? What did she do this time, drown her grandmother? Kaladin is depressed? sure do hope he snaps out of it before the big finale.. (hint, thats not how depression works… source: im depressed)

Wit becomes an insufferable vehicle of exposition and deus ex machina. Wit in the last two books is completely unlike himself in the first 3 books. I understand the stakes have changed for him, but as was the case for so many other characters, his allure was completely abandoned because his unique voice was foregone. he’s never panicked or lost his composure, but in this book, it’s like he has never been composed in his life.

kaladin becoming a "therapist" felt extremely strange to me, for the entire book. there might have been much better ways to develop this aspect of his character, but straight up calling him a therapist, and then having him "cure" Szeth and his spren after a few days of conversation. i mean szeth literally after like day 4 is like, ok kaladin ur right... im going to kill myself instead :D and then two days later somehow is convinced that kaladin is right and actually hes not going to kill himself? ok.... And then curing Nale by literally playing a tune on a flute. it was so wildly far-fetched for me that I couldn't help but feel myself cringing. NOBODY - seriously, nobody - lives through the kinds of things that Szeth lived through and then finds healing and peace after a few days of therapy. Yet not only Szeth - a 7,000 year old Herald overcomes his mental obstacles just as quickly? buddy i havent even half the traumas of those two, had 2 years of therapy (searching for a new therapist :D ) and im still depressed AND im on anti depressants. i understand that it says multiple times that it takes time, but still that nale is able to snap out of his "fog" so quickly is insane. then ishar, well at least the flute playing didnt work on him, but saying an ideal did...somehow lol. despites szeth's 5th ideal not working, kaladin says the 5th ideal, blasts ishar back with a "burst of power" and when ishar wakes up hes like Holy Shit Im A Bad Person.

UNCATEGORISED: Elhokar: he is dead. his death had no effect on the story, nor the development of any of the characters. kaladin mopes for a bit, then his little depressive episode clears up after about (checks watch) 24 hours. he is almost practically forgotten about in the same chapter he is killed in. Navani cries for like a sentence when she hears the news, but swiftly moves on, he is never brought up again. no other characters brood over his death in a meaningful capacity, we don’t even get to see any kind of funeral rite for him.

There is a frustrating lack of gravitas in many scenes. Lift appears at the tailend of what was set to be one of the better chapters in oathbringer, when Dalinar first meets Odium, seemingly only to deflate any tension by making comments about his butt and how she dislikes old people. Szeth now has a sword that talks in the same particularly childish quippy way as Syl, who already talked in the same particularly childish quippy way as Shallan. its like a gd marvel movie, a moment cant go by without a stupid joke. please... shut... on that note, nightblood i believe is an insanely old consciousness, why is it so childish? i understand why syl was childish at the beginning, but she never grows, changes or matures in any way whatsoever as she gets her memories back

sadeas got killed by Adolin at the end of Words, nothing comes of it ever. there's a cursory investigation but when the copy-cat killings are revealed to be the work of one of the Unmade, it's forgotten until Dalinar wants to make Adolin king. so Adolin admits to killing Sedeas. and then nobody cares still. i was hoping for some real complications to rise from that. adolin had some guilt but it was barely a factor. also it never comes up again and nobody cares. aight. look, did sadeas deserve to die? yeah. but why does nobody care about finding the murderer? the copy cat killings had to be based on the original murder of sadeas, therefore, to everyones knowledge, the murderer is still at large. but its ok nobody cares ig

shadesmar: this is more of a personal opinion lol.. but shadesmar is so boring!! why are the spren just humans? its like reading a faery book and they are just hot humans. give me weird shit. i dont want humanoid beings with a strange "pattern" for a head. give me fuckin weird little imps and shit. nah not only do the spren take on human forms, they are just alethi most of the time. ?? its so boring.. for example, i was imagining the honourspren being like, translucent spriggans from skyrim. crypticspren incomprehensible shit. inkspren as some sort of squid sorta thing. like wtf get creative. youre writing a FANTASY PLEASE!!!!!!!!! why are they all humanoid im bored

im not convinced that renarin and adolin give a shit about each other. there are MULTIPLE instances where renarin is COMPLTELY forgotten and its like, brandon why the fuck did you even bother writing this character? way of kings, when adolin and dalinar come back from almost being fuckin massacred, renarin gives adolin the good ol clap on the shoulder. WHAT???? BUDDY YOUR BROTHER WAS ALMOST KILLED HUG HIM???? in rhythm, adolin is going to leave for shadesmar for who knows how long and who knows what dangers lie ahead. his shitty father talks to him and gives some speech and fucks off. renarin is NOT mentioned and nowhere to be found. why wouldnt he say goodbye to his brother hes supposed to care about? again, in wind and truth, adolin goes off to azir to fight again unknowable dangers and can possibly die as he isnt a radiant to heal himself. renarin is nowhere to be found and never says goodbye. in wind and truth or rhythm, dalinar is playing with gavinor and lamenting he didnt witness more of adolins childhood. renarin is NOT mentioned. this is a huge tell not show thing because i think its mentioned a few times how adolin cares about renarin and vice versa, but i dont see any god damn proof of this.

the spiritual realm: in wind and truth, our next big disappointment was the Spiritual Realm. we were, again, led to believe that this realm is extremely dangerous: Wit and the gods were supposedly afraid of the Spiritual Realm because it was difficult to navigate, time was easy to lose, and you couldn’t know what to expect. it turned out, however, that the Spiritual Realm is just a mindscape-style place that was rather easy to navigate when you actually try for more than 2 seconds. the most difficult part of being in the Spiritual Realm is, apparently, confronting yourself/your history. we’re again in a situation where I feel like I’m supposed to be impressed or enraptured by the new setting and overlook how dreadfully boring the plot occurring there is. what a god can do in the spiritual realm is so confusing. what tara cant do: find radiants when their spren is hiding them. what he can do: recreate a fucking simulation of an entire city and its people

dalinar: he had one job and he fucked it up astronomically. and this is the most unforgivable part for me. when faced with Adult Gav, Dalinar proves he has learned nothing from his jouney of the past five books. he does not even TRY to save his grandson, or to reconcile with him. not even when adult Gav is frozen by Odiom, not even when he is visibly weeping because he knows he was deceived. Danilar doesn't even fucking try. No apologies, no "I love you's", no "we didn't know and if we had, we would have torn the whole Cosmere apart trying to find you's." The only options he sees are "Kill grandson" or "let grandson kill me." He doesn't even fucking try to find a third option. The Bondsmith doesn't even try to reinforce the most important bonds of all: those of his own damn family.* Had he been able to get through to Gav, and to in turn persuade Gav to surrender, he could have so easily won everything. *note of course this isnt surprising how shit he treats his entire family considering he hated, verbally abused and eventually murdered his wife, (who nobody forced him to marry btw) and also neglected his sons, and even when he got "better" he still had a clear favourite in adolin and continued to pretend renarin didnt exist because he had seizures i guess. the moment renarin revealed himself as truthwatcher, suddenly dalinar is like holy shit i forgot about this one. anyway, he decides to pass the entire problem on to the next generation. but not before making the absolutely batshit decision to abandon his oaths, allowing Odium to kill the Stormfather and assume true supervillain status. and, through the killing the Stormfather, he has also allowed the planet to be stripped of its most important resource, not just for the Radiants, but for the world economy. Dalinar has single-handedly undone centuries of societal progress. he makes the most self-centered decision he can possibly make, and fucks everyone else in the process. And all of Roshar is going to hail him as a hero for it. (see: wit going holy shit hes a genius just so people can continue to dick ride him is insane bruv) its literally like "wow! he made the situation worse 100x, kills himself and leaves it for the next generation! what a hero!” ????? in this world when old people leave shit for us younger generations ,we hate them usually..

other thoughts: this is more of a personal Hot take but I believe that the Cosmere with its characters and lore that connect brandons different stories works best when it's kept as a simple framing device. as his stories have expanded to includ more and more characters from different worlds, it feel like he loses focus on the important character of those stories. it also leads to a lot more bloat and is probably the reason that this is his longest book yet.

theres also a problem i noticed in this book especially of strange modern language being used a lot, making me think perhaps an editor does not exist..? (i cant remember if the previous books had this problem) examples: "literally" (i never saw that used before) "therapy/therapist" you can claim wit introduced them to this words but idk... "alcohol" instead of wine like previous books. randomly mentioned is "200 proof alcohol" huh? when the fuck they start doin that? lift using the word "hot" to say attractive, again, has never been used in this way before. kaladin randomly says "okay", nobody has ever said okay before. there can be something said for the word “awesome” being used (100% by lift) the way it is. the first version of awesome used was to indicate horror or fear, as opposed to our modern use to indicate amazement. lift uses this modern version, and compared with nobody else using the word awesome ever, its very jarring

in wind and truth, both sigzil and child killer break their oaths and kill their spren for some greater good (?) however, in the same book and literally the same day, szeth casually releases his spren from their bond and his spren does not go deadeyed and is perfectly fine. are you telling me this entire time the radiants couldve just "i release you from your oaths" and the spren wouldve been fine? nobody tried that ever? they just immediately jumped to, "i renounce my oaths" rather than a more kinder "i release you from your bond". granted, the radiants from 4k years ago didnt know the spren would go deadeyed, but i still dont understand why they never tried that out of curiosity. not to mention, renouncing your oaths required you to genuinely believe that. also, szeth easily releasing his spren from the bond and not killing him makes sigzil and dalinars decision more stupid

correct me if im wrong, but im pretty sure may aladar isnt among the women adolin was sexist to in the first few books, so as far as i can remember shes introduced in wind and truth. why the fuck is her name may, when we already have an established character whose nickname is maya??? no joke, i literally got confused multiple times on which may/a was talking.. you are writing a fantasy book and have 74 billion options for names and you pick one thats one letter off from an established character

writing in world swear words is all well and good but i dont understand what type of swear "storms" (and other storm words) is supposed to be when everybody and their mother will say it for anything and everything, so it makes me think its a "mild" swear word like crap or frick, but then there are times when it sounds more like a "fuck" like for example in rhythm of war and lirin is trying to stop kaladin from fighting and possibily getting his family killed , kaladin says "storm you" (which first of all, kinda cringe i aint even gone lie) which SOUNDS like a "fuck you" moment, but again, everybody uses "storm" for everything and everyone so i just dont understand what type of swear word it is. take it from someone who swears like a sailor- in books (and other media) i think swears should only be used when they could have a real impact. if "storm" etc was replaced with "fuck" and "shit" etc i imagine there might even be complaints about how, perhaps, immature the characters sound when they are swearing all the time. i think "storm" shouldve been used a LOT less than it was, because it was hard to tell what kind of emotion (?) the character had when they were using it, and again idk the severity of the word in the moment when it is used

why does mayalaran talk so modernly? the last time she was alive was 4 thousand years ago, she should be speaking the equivalent of ye olde english (hell, the language the people spoke 4k years ago was described as a whole different language) and people having a hard time understanding her and vise versa, but for some reason she speaks their modern common tongue extremely well, even calling adolin a slut at some point. where did she learn to speak their modern language? shes been practically unconscious for 4 thousand years with no one teaching her that. on that note, why does everyone in the visions speak again ,perfect modern common tongue? apparently with child killers bondsmith powers he can understand them, but this doesnt explain why in other POVs they also understand them perfectly

this is a little nitpick but the pursuer was written kinda shit. so youre telling me this guy has made a tradition in hunting down humans that killed him? ...so hes been killed by humans multiple times before enough for him to make it a tradition? it doesnt make him seem competent or scary at all if hes so easily killed… instead, it wouldve been better if kaladin was the first human that killed him, and it enraged him so much that he demanded to be the only one to kill him, thus turning him into the pursuer. otherwise, i feel like i can take on this guy with a kitchen knife lol

END: im going to end this essay by quoting a review i saw on storygraph (who then quoted it from reddit) which pretty much summarises the main problem with these books: "A book needs to be able to stand on its own, not just be a vehicle to provide context for previous novels and propel future novels."

[vintagedoctor]

my friend is discovering fallout 4 for the first time

i love fallout 4. ive played that game to death and beyond. i know most details and all the endings and many of the quests and weapons and - yes im well aware of its problems, but i still enjoy it. i did enjoy it. ive moved on to other, better rpgs *cough cough baldurs gate 3 cough cough* and didnt think much of my beloved 1st person post apocalypse talking simulator. until my friend told me he got it and started playing it. for some reason i had already assumed he already played it but to my surprise, he knew nothing of the franchise. he had dabbled in skyrim for a bit, sure, but apparently he had no knowledge of bethesda's 2nd masterpiece. when i was in a voice call with him next, he of course, shared his screen so i could watch him stumble along the commonwealth, dying to bugs and raiders alike. he had gotten to the raider gang in the corvega assembly plant, the one in power armor and with a rocket launcher. i misremembered what the raider had and told my friend to beware the fat man. he didnt know what that was. he didnt know what the fatman was. thats when i realized something.

i had played fallout 4 for well over 400 hours, pretty low compared to other people but enough to where i can spew out random facts about that damn game. but my friend not knowing what the fatman was- the most iconic weapon in the fallout franchise- made me realize how fresh this is all to him. here is someone who is discovering this world with new eyes, not knowing a single thing abt the commonwealth or the minutemen or the shitty story or the repetive quests. when people wish to relive their favorite games in fresh eyes, they wish for this. here i was, as my friend's guide thru this junkpile of a game, seeing it thru new eyes once again. the thrill of discovery, smth i strive for but shy away from. im scared to try new things. i love my sameness. but that gets boring. it sure as hell gets boring. but not anymore.

i saw this as much when my friend stumbled upon covenant and i told him it was a good quest. i maybe shouldnt have even told him that but i wanted him to see it for himself and made sure he did it before it locked him out. he did the entry quiz, making a joke about how hes not getting let in and showed surprise when he was. now for me, i know u r let in no matter ur answer- a mix of irony w the whole synth test and also bethesda game design- so it was fun to see his shock. he walked around covenant and i suggested to him to get deezers lemonade. he tried to get infinite but sadly, all you get is what deezer has in stock. that started the quest and he was making comments about how sus the town was. yes! hes on the right track. he now had to track down a caravan and got mighty lost. i had to explain to him how quest markers work and surprisingly how to access his quest log. i guess its not all obvious to many. he had to leave shortly after but in dms he was telling me how he wanted to save a certain npc in covenant. my heart sank. bethesda doesnt work like that. if he turns against covenant, that npc that he loves will turn on him and he will be forced to kill her. idk if he has gotten that far in the quest line (i'll see later when he wakes up) but i dont want to imagine the disappointment.

thats what i realized with besthesda games. while they make great atmospheres and music and lore, the actual gameplay and rules are never clear. its not like baldurs gate where larian thought of every possible outcome for every quest. its more bethesda knows rpgs must have differing outcomes but doesnt understand what that means. when they market their games to be freedom of choice and play how you want and "see that mountain, you can climb that", it sets an expectation. an expectation they dont follow thru on. i hope this doesnt dissuade my friend from continuing. i think he will really enjoy some of the quests and especially power armor. he already decided to play for a power armor build. it would be very funny if he sided with the brotherhood of steel for his first run, as i did since i was a dumb kid and didnt understand the blatant military critique that it was. he might, as i did, think, big gun means fun time. thats perfectly fine. the factions in fallout 4 arent as deep philosophically as bethesda treats them to be.

all in all, watching my friend discover this great game for the first time has reminded me of my struggles with the game. he even had his first bugs due to modding. a bug i had similar issues with but we quickly solved. my hope for him is that he finds as much passion in the game as i do. theres a reason its in my top 5 games.

[fridakahloblvd]

i was completely new to turn based combat, but know a decent amount about D&D, and my first play through is on easy/explorer mode!

and i STRUGGLED. i killed some key characters by complete accident because i didnt understand how ‘non-lethal’ damage worked. ive wasted my turn moving around and clicking on things, not realizing that doing so used up my action or bonus action, and wound up not attacking anyone.

idk how i did it, but i messed up my keyboard hotkeys and lost the jump button for my Tav! my Tav couldn’t jump anywhere. i would have to take control of one of the companions and do a group jump! i eventually figured it out, but that was my normal for like 100 hours of gameplay for me😭

also, knowing D&D lore or rules doesn’t even really help because BG3 changed a bunch of stuff.

i’m like close to 400 hrs in bg3 and explorer mode really lets you fuck around and enjoy the game! it’s great for story stuff and the combat isn’t AS scary. i’m sure if i were to play honor mode that i’d die instantly bc i mess around a lot and fuck up way too much.

heeyy so about bg3. i downloaded it with no prior knowledge on how dnd actually works and im so confused about combat in this game. i play on normal difficulty but I'm considering switching to the easiest one because i genuinely suck so bad lol. i haven't even progressed that far, I'm on a part with the ship wreckage and those bandits in an abandoned place where you need to recruit the skeleton dude are kicking my ass. i literally can't beat them lol. basically my question is did you struggle with the combat or am i just really stupid 😭

oh yeah, turn based combat in this game can take some time getting used to and i was no exception!! i play on explorer mode (the easiest difficulty) cos i don’t really care for fights like i do for story/dialogue so i definitely suggest doing that if you’re having trouble; at least in the beginning until you get the hang of it :)

also, idk what class you are, but since i picked rogue, i’m basically just hiding, sneaking and stabbing enemies behind their backs the entire time and letting the others in my party step up front fjsjsjsh

lmk how it goes and if you get into the game cos i’ve been OBSESSED with it as of late; trust me, as soon as you understand the controls better you’ll have loads of fun :3

[digital-roots]

could u explain the henry stickmin collection in detail, please?

I always answer these after hours of doing other stuff huh

Well anyways: (long post, cant seem to put a read more rn will edit later)

The Henry Stickmin Collection is a series of games that were all made with Flash and have been remastered (with the exception of Completing the Mission, which is exclusive to THSC). They all follow the journey of Henry Stickmin, an amateur thief who attempts to rob a bank, but ends up getting caught and sent to prison. From there, you are able to make choices for him, providing him with items that range from technical gadgets to video game references. With the exception of Breaking the Bank which acts more as a prologue to the entire story, every game has multiple endings based on your choices.

There are usually 3 ways to categorize each of the endings. There is The Sneaky way, in which Henry does the mission with few to none people actually noticing his deeds, The Agressive way, where he does the exact opposite and does it mostly with brute force and even killing others, and The Chaotic way, which is like the Agressive option, but Henry usually creates chaos and casualities through 3rd party intervenings instead of directly causing them.

Escaping the Prison and Stealing the Diamond are both simple enough. Whether you do it the sneaky, agressive, or chaotic way (although there really isn't a "chaotic" way in EtP), Henry always escapes to steal the diamond.

Infiltrating the Airship is where things get a bit more bigger. Here is where the Toppat Clan are introduced. The Toppat Clan is a big and secretive crimimal organization where each member wears a top hat. The Government (also a main faction in the series) kidnaps Henry at the start of the game where they offer to pardon all of his crimes if he manages to take down the Toppats in their main base, The Airship. From here things split more and the endings aren't as similar to each other than before. Depending on what the player's pick, Henry can either take down the Toppats (whether alone or with Charles, a goverment pilot and one of the main characters in the games), join them and become their leader, or ignore both factions and instead go after the Toppat's ruby in their vault.

Fleeing the Complex is similar to how ItA works as well. After the events of ItA, Henry will end up at The Wall, a massive prison in Canada, run by the cold and ruthless Dmitri Petrov. He also ends up waiting in a cell with someone else, a woman named Ellie. Again, he has mutiple options at the start. One is to rush out of the prison by himself, while Dmitri personally hunts him down. Another is to get help from Ellie to escape, and either help her too or abandon her. The last two depend on your choices from ItA. After getting inside a room with a cellphone, you can either get help from the Goverment or the Toppat Clan. No matter what however, you always end up escaping the complex (in one way or another).

The last game in the series is Complete the Mission. At the very start, you get to pick what ending you get at the start by combining the endings from ItA and FtC together. Ok I'm going to be real honest rn I don't know why this ask became so informational and serious and at this point i have no more energy to keep that up so I'll just say a few more things

Each game lets you right click on minor characters to get their bio cards. Its really fun to try to get all of them since theres like over 400 bios, 75% of them being extremely minor characters. Realy goes to show how Puffballs (the person who made the game) put in lots of effort for the little details

It's stupidly funny (/pos) most of the time. I just really cant get over how amazing the comedic timing is

One of the core aspects of THSC are the fails. There's so many ways to fail in the games and they're usually so fucking funny

I didnt get to talk abt this because I was only goimg over the main points but like. GOD I fucking love the toppat leader, Reginald, so fucking much he is such a rat bastard and I care so much abt him. Do you know who else I care about? His Right Hand Man, who doesnt have a name but is so goddamn badass and great. You know who else I care about? So many other characters I didnt talk about because theyre not that important into giving a summary for.

Like I said before, the games are so fucking funny, they have impeccable comedic timing

Um Im very tired so basically thank you for reading my half synopsis half recommendation of henry stickmin teehee

[khrmutual]

Hi, it's the uni anon here! I also like discussing general khr stuff too and im so glad to see an active tumblr to this day! I've been following it since i was a kid and sometimes it leaves me to hop on different fandoms but i always periodically get hit with khr loving hours

General khr stuff i love to point out:

1. Ryohei was a punk who loved fighting so much that kyoko got hurt in the past bc of it. Boxing was violence in a controlled environment. Im sure hes really smitten with the sportsmanship, but i just love that hes also a fighting freak on par with hibari.

2. It didnt really hit me until his fight in the shimon arc for me to really get tyl!lambo's characterization. But the fact that he just wants to enjoy and party and is also a crybaby coward but gathers the resolve to fight from the people who surrounded him in his childhood??? Love that so much. Hes obnoxious in a 15-year old way for the same 5-year old traits.

3. Gokudera's introduction episode/chapter was a total subversion of the typical shonen rival character. If yamamoto was the shonen mc, hed definitely be the typical shonen rival. But no, hes the enthusiatic bodyguard friend of the shonen mc who finds out hes a shonen mc and went NOPE.

4. Gokudera gripes at yamamoto not taking things seriously bc he keeps talking about the mafia as a game, but for someone who thought the mafia as a game, yamamoto actually takes the "game" so damn seriously.

Im sure theres more, but thats all i can think of to blurt out for now.

KHR is kind of like that, it may go dormant as an interest for a while, but it always seems to rear its head again eventually :? something about it is just really appealing if you're into action manga.

To address the points you've brought up, Ryohei is a fascinating character who really got piss poor treatment. With an ever-expanding cast and a revolving door of villains, sometimes characters get downsized to fit the story or change focus to another point/arc. Ryohei is just like, a guy who likes to fight. Single mindedly, he likes fighting, being Good Pals with people, and provoking Hibari. I appreciate characters who are bull headed about their passions, and Ryohei is no different. I wish Kyoko and Ryohei's sibling dynamic was explored more, as the constant contention between Ryohei's fighting habits gets a little dull sometime within 400 chapters. Lambo has a really interesting position as a primarily comic relief character, in that he's got schrodinger's perfect characterization of childish-ness: he is both an incredibly accurate depiction of what a childish character FEELS like, and also exaggerated to the point of comedy. Amano took that one bratty trait and ran to the moon and back with it. I really enjoyed the subtle differences between 5 year old Lambo, 15 year old Lambo, and 25 year old Lambo. He was handled pretty well in that respect, all things considered! Right!!!!! You know I don't see many people bring that up at all, now that I think about it. Gokudera is really refreshing in that respect, and I think that may play a major role in what I enjoy about his character!!! I do wish we got to see that friendship develop a little more, though!!! Yams is so funny because he's just like. ok with killing. he treats it kinda like baseball, as long as everyone else plays by the book he'll do the same, but as soon as that understanding is broken all bets are off. He's a team player in all meanings of the word. I love him. King of having flexible morals <3 Thank you for the ask anon, feel free to drop your thoughts in my inbox whenever o/

[aal-archaeology]

Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis

Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.  As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I’m going to give myself some mental slack. 

I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort. Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program. 

I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I,  fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend): 

In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory. 

Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself. 

Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:

Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class. 

I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it. 

Weekly Schedule

Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class. 

I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba. 

On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things. 

EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest. 

Social Life

Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household. 

In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes. 

Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games. 

I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.  My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud. 

Overall reflection:

This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard. 

I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl. 

Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.

Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me. 

I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.  Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’) Thanks for reading! Lyss

[weeeklyx]

check in tag💕

ty @hongminchy for tagging me 💚

why did you choose this URL?

▶️because i love all the weeekly members i wanted an url that included all of them

 do you have any sideblogs?

▶️this is in fact a side blog, my other one is @/gowontvs and my main @/chillycookies

 how long have you been on tumblr?

▶️since i was like 13/14 but i actively started posting in 2017

 do you have a queue tag?

▶️ yeah qniverse bc yknow... universe by weeekly?

 why did you start this blog in the first place?

▶️i had so much to say about weeekly that i didnt think there was any space for it on my other blog and there werent many weeekly blogs at that time so i thought why not start one

 why did you choose this pfp?

▶️jiyoon is my bias and she looked stunning in the bnt photoshoot

 why did you choose your header?

▶️i currently dont have one because i changed my theme on mobile and there was an uploading error :(( but just know if it was there its the monday disney princess pic w/ lots of plants

 what’s your post with most notes?

▶️i really dont know i dont think this blog has a specifically popular post

 how many mutuals do you have?

▶️i dont count them? also i get really confused with side blogs and url changes so there might be a mutual whom i dont even know of :(

 how many followers do you have?

▶️400+

 following?

▶️160

 do you make shit posts?

▶️i used to on other blogs but not so much rn

 how long do you use tumblr each day?

▶️ depends... like sometimes i can spend the whole day on here but recently i check my notes & dash in the morning and evening so like maybe an hour or two?

 did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

▶️ i really have other things to do than to fight people online

 how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

▶️if its literally just a random user that wants notes... i dont care but i dont think its the way to go bro...

 do you like tag games?

▶️i love them!! but sometimes i forget to do them and im afraid people think i dont want to be tagged when really im just stupid ://

do you like ask games?

▶️i do!!

 which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

▶️i find tumblr famous hard to define so if your text post once got 5 notes i consider you famous

 do you have a crush on a mutual?

▶️my heart skips a beat every time i see one of yalls lil icons in my notes

tagging some daileee mutuals: @starlit-serenade @yericity @pssoeun @yvesstagram @oddsandeyes @soojinlee

[th3okamid3monart]

Things I’m going to miss this Holidays

There are a couple of traditions we do in my family that I havent seen in other places and with one search on the internet I realize that most of the things we do are from my own country + some that we make up ourselves. 

So Im going to share them here because... Well, there’s a big-ass chance I wont be able to do them this Christmas nor New years. 

NOTE: When I say ‘my family’ in a lot of this, I mean ALL my family. Which means, all my grandparents, all my aunts, all my uncles, all my cousins, and, yes, EVEN my great grandaparents, cousins, uncles, aunts and more. Because we all know each other and we even make a party once a year for my dad’s side of the family 

Here I go:

Las Posadas

There’s this thing that we do at one of my grandparents’ house that involves singing a carol about the time Maria and Jose were looking for a place to stay to rest before travel far away for the birth of Jesus. It is a song which is singed by 2 groups, one that is inside and the other that’s outside. What we do is the following: One group goes inside a room in the house while the other stays outside the door, the group outside sings one part and the other sings the other. We go back and forward until we finish the song. It is pretty funny because no one sings well and its just like a bunch of grown ups practically screaming but we always end up chuckling. I used to think it was pointless and boring but that was because I was an edgy potato, after I enter University i began to enjoy more things and be happier. This is going to be the second time I wont be with my complete family for Christmas and now its all the family who wont be able to go to my grandparents house for a celebration. 

12 grapes, 12 wishes

In both sides of my family we usually fill up 12 grapes in a cup and give everyone 1 cup each. I dont remember what exactly the grapes meant or the story about the wishes but it’s supposedly like before it strikes 12 am on New Years, we have to eat our grapes while also wishing for something. I remember when I was younger I’d wish for peace on the world or that everything went well for everyone. I think I’m going to buy a bigger bag of grapes this year. 

Something that was funny was that everyone would just... Stuff their mouths with grapes, mostly my cousins and I, just to see how many we could fit. Not everyone wished for many things in the family because I think we all feel we had and have enough. If my family does this again on their own, I’m pretty certain their wishes would be to be able to meet with the family. 

Piñata

Every year since I was little, my grandparents buy a piñata to smash before or during Christmas. They find it such a good activity for cousins and even for my aunts, my mom and uncle. They literally havent stopped buying them, the oldest grandchild in that side of the family its in her 30s, but they still buy a piñata. I think its mostly for the youngest which are below 16, never the less, its still super funny and hilarious because we go from youngest to oldest. By the time it gets to my brother, its still intact, he only swings it once and its completely DESTROYED. We just have a lot of fun, and sometimes we make my mom or my aunts to hit it. My mom wasnt as cheery when I was a kid, but now she laughs more and when it comes to the piñata she laughs and enjoys her time even more. 

Games 

Like any gathering, all cousins bring up something we can do to entertain ourselves. At first they were toys my grandparents had for us, then it was videogames and now... Its board games. My bro is the one obsess with different boardgames and DnD and other card games. So, about 5 years ago he began bringing boardgames for all cousins to play along. We either talk with each other or try to destroy each other with any game there is. Videogames are fun but we all find it a drag to bring the console to the place, besides we usually get so busy with each others banter and weird conversations that we just forget about the videogames all together. 

At my other grandparents house it becomes W I L D. Last time someone brough a beer pong table and they all began to take shots with mezcal (I’m trying to not drink a lot of the time ever since I puked one time. If I drink its light things like wine and only one glass). Then my aunts play music and began to sing and everyone follows up, and... Well last time they began to dance.... And all my cousins were very embarassed and I was hella confused. Suffice to say, my dad’s side of the family are super freakishly energetic and wild, while my mom’s side is more of a geeky, nerdy vibe with a lot of meme stuff and political conversations at times (Oh yeah, we talk a lot of different political stuff, but guess what? It never derails into a fight. I note this due to always reading people’s talks ending with fights and stuff and that kinda weirds me out a bit at times) 

Dinners 

I don’t remember the time exactly, probably since I was 15 maybe, my dad and I turned into the designated ‘chefs’. Every year we’ve been deciding and preparing foods for each house. We make the main course while my aunts do the sides (although sometimes it becomes like 3 main courses with 2 sides). Im waaaaaaaaay into the cooking and I try to make it perfect each year. I kinda chillaxed a bit with some foods because it wasnt that big of a deal. Besides the main course, I also decide to make a dessert and sometimes they arent eaten because my families have some sugar regulations. They are stored and kept after Christmas because thats better than eating it all in one sitting and having sugar poisoning (AKA, high sugar that needs a fast Insuline injection afterwards). 

It is always fun to make food with my dad, and to make the famous Tamales from my grandma’s recipe. Last time i think we made around 400? Between green salsa chicken, red salsa beef and pork, and some that were like... its like an adobe, its with achiote and orange juice. It was very tasty. We usually make a lot and freeze them. THEY ARENT COOKED, they are raw and then frozen. Every time we take some out, we make them with vapor, takes around 2 hours and they are always tasty. I remember I made a batch all by myself, I made the feelings, I mixed the masa, and I assemble 100 by my own, the rest was thankfully made by my parents. And it was the best when I gave some to my grandma and she told me that they were super good. Of course, I made a couple mistakes, Im not perfect but she still enjoyed it with the salsa I made. Maybe I can still make some this year and give each family a batch. 

Aunt’s cookies

Every year, every god damn year... We all wait for one thing... It’s not the presents, its not the food... Its the cookies. The motherfucking cookies. My aunt has made this cookies since I was a kid, and we all fought to get a bunch of them. She has made choco chip with nuts cookies every year without missing. And they always end before Christmas even hits. She once gave me frozen batch so I can cook them at home and she told me ‘Dont tell anybody’. Of course I cannot not tell anyone since I live with my parents and siblings but when I made them I made sure to make them when my dad wasnt home. Not only because Im a gluttonous fuck but because my dad is diabetic and he shouldnt be eating anything like that. 

It used to be a battle royal between my cousins, now its a battle against my uncles cause they LOVE TO FUCKING HIDE THE BIG ASS CONTAINER. I swear, i only got 1 or 2 god damn cookies last time. 

Breakfast at...Lunch at...

After Christmas, we always go eat at my grandparents house. Always. And it’s, most of the time, Menudo. The most delicious food you can make with cow stomach. It’s my grandpa’s recipe and it’s always good. Meanwhile, we lunch at my grandma’s house the leftovers of yesterdays dinner which it varies if its turkey or pork but it always ends up as a torta. Delicious, leftover, tortas. 

We end up... SUPER CONSTIPATED because you eat menudo with bread, and you make tortas with bread, and we all eat bread and like... A LOT. Its hella good but well... THERE ARE CONCEQUENCES!! 

I think thats all, at least the most relevant parts. There’s also The Toast of El Bohemio, the stupidity and over eating i do for fun for some cousins, the conversations that go from super deep to stupidity with cousins, the music we play, the hugs... 

THE HUGS

When its the New Year, we scream out HAPPY NEW YEAR. And we proceed to hug each and everyone, one time I waited to see everyone and they all were very very happy. Its something I didnt realize before, but that was a happy thing all the time. Last year we event celebrated with other family, most of this reunions are compose with the nuclear family, but we arent shy about involving more family or friends. So last year not only included some family and their friends, we also included a 2 new members of the family: My newborn cousin and my cousin’s now husband. 

It was like.. One of the best beginnings... Which kind of... didnt prepared us for what this...sucky year. 

I’m sure we’ll make it ok... I sure hope so, I wanna see my grandparents again... I wanna see my baby cousin, he is babbling and has already learned to walk. The little dude doesnt have cousins to play with anymore, I wanna make sure he doesnt confuse me by his aunt ajjajajaja. I want to talk to my cousins, I want to hug them and scream with them and eat with them all. 

But maybe this year it wont happen, and I rather it not happening than loosing any of them. 

Right now I cant smell, and everything hurts, but it kinda helps ease things when i remember this and when I think they all are still kinda healthy. 

Maybe when it all passes we can make a march reunion, to celebrate my grandma’s birthday. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get better and wish for this Christmas to not suck now that It’s only my main family and I. 

Hope everyone is safe, I hope you can at least see your parents or siblings. I hope you dont get sick nor have to spend time at a hospital or anything. I hope all who are, get help and dont get worse. I hope you all get better. 

Hope you have Happy Holidays. 

[gatticus]

Becca & Troy: “Lucky shot.”

combining this and ‘have you lost your damn mind?!’ for becca & gat just becos i didnt wanna bug ppls dash lmao

Lucky Shot:

“250.”

“No.”

“350.”

“No.”

“400?”

Troy’s resolve snapped as he rolled his eyes. She hadn’t even seen 400, let alone 250. “What? No.”

“500!”

They were in strip club, surrounded by other lieutenants and bangers and yet he hadn’t spoken a word to any of them all night. Him and Becca had been flirting—couldn’t call it anything but, for a couple of hours now, oblivious to anyone else.

He shouldn’t have. He was cautious, reserved, knew to keep whatever they had going on between them behind closed doors and apartments, but with her wearing a top that was made out of a couple of chains, lips forming attractively with every stupid comment she made, he couldn’t help it.

“You’ve never even seen 500,” he retorted, raising an eyebrow at her. 

She rose a single thin eyebrow at him. “I’m rich now,” the hand that tucked hair behind her ears went into the back pocket of her jeans—and he had to stop his eyes from following until she produced the bill in front of him. “Wanna take that back, honey?”

Honey? He almost laughed, but from the grin on her face she wasn’t being serious. “Guessin’ it’s your turn to treat me to freckle bitches then.”

“I’ll treat you to more than that.”

He blanched, choking on the spit in his mouth as he glanced at the others, who were too drunk to care, nor hear. It was still risky though. “Becca,” he chastised, eyes flicking back to the gang near them.  “C’mon.”

Her nose wrinkled into a short laugh that made his heart squeeze. “Sorry.”

Well he had to forgive her when she did things like that. He wondered if she even noticed that she was effecting him the way she did.

“Anyway,” she pretended as if they were talking about the weather. “I can always go back to 100 if you’re scared, Bradshaw.”

“Oh?” He rose an eyebrow at his last name. “It’s that serious? You’re bluffing Algani.”

She laughed again as he played her at her own game. He wanted to see it again. And again. “200 it is.”

The bet was stupid too. Who could get a dollar bill in between the nearest dancers tits. Stupid, far too stupid, but he didn’t care. For once he was enjoying himself, and the company.

“Deal.”

She held out a hand for him to shake. He stared at it, shaking it before he had a chance to overthink it. She squeezed his hand once before letting it go. He was too old to get flustered over affectionate gestures, but he felt like a school kid with a secret, sharing hidden gazes when he thought people weren’t watching, and—

She aimed, and scored. The bill went straight into the woman’s cleavage, settling comfortably as she gyrated on the pole in front of them. He didn’t even need to turn to Becca to know that she was wearing a smirk.

He bristled. “Lucky shot.”

“Awww,” she cooed. She slid an arm around his waist as she pressed up onto her toes to murmur into his ear. “Maybe next time.”

His face was burning as she dropped back onto the balls of her feet, navigating through the crowd to talk to Johnny as if she hadn’t been ignoring him all night. 

He simply stood there, rooted to the spot, until he glanced at the stripper, smiling with perfect white teeth and a bill between her tits that had just flushed him out of two hundred dollars. 

Maybe next time. 

Yeah. Probably not. 

anddddd ‘have you lost your damn mind?’ for gatboss ♥

“Yeah because this shit doesn’t spell trap.”

She didn’t care about his reasons, all of which were right, she knew that. But she didn’t care, Maero was going to show, and she had to end it, didn’t have a choice.

“Yeah,” she retorted, watching him over the dinner table. “Probably.”

“What,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “You’re just gonna waltz in there? No back up? Maybe a knife and a couple of grenades? Have you lost your fuckin’ mind?”

She appreciated the concern for her welfare. It was touching when it wasn’t so irritating. She used to go straight into traps all the time and he wouldn’t say a word, but now he barely let her out of his sight.

“I’ve got shit,” was the weakest reply she could have given. She shrugged, trying to play off his worry like it wasn’t a big deal. “I’ll make sure I’m prepared.”

“Yeah?” Johnny almost looked like he was conceding, but she knew him too well for that. “That’s ai’ght then. You’re prepared.”

She didn’t say anything. She knew this wasn’t it.

“—You’re not gonna be fuckin’ prepared if he has backup!” There we go. She knew he wasn’t finished. “Which he will ‘cause he’s a fuckin’ pussy. And then you’ll last, what? About five whole seconds before he puts a bullet in your ass. Real prepared.”

He could be dramatic when he wanted to be. A real homegrown drama queen with large gestures and glares and staring at her over his glasses, jaws set. A small part of her—or a rather large one, was still scared by him, still intimidated, still in awe of him. She couldn’t help that her heart was hammering against her ribcage as he glared at her, but she could help the bravado. It was all she had.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He rose an eyebrow. “I’m not beggin’ you. I want you to say somethin’ that makes fuckin’ sense. That’s what I want.”

He was saying it without saying it. Take me with you. 

In part, she was doing it for him too. She was dispensable. He on the other hand, was not. Not to her. It was ridiculous because their job was dangerous, yet she tried to limit that whenever she could, because the prospect of doing this without him—

Well. She tried not to think about that.

He was still staring at her. Waiting for a response. She stared back at him, but the words fell out of her mouth quicker than she could stop them.

“Alright,” she conceded. “Come with me.”

His face softened for the most brief of moments. It was so quick she barely saw it. “Aight,” he nodded. She saw it written all over his face; Thankyou. 

It was a silent thanks, he was too proud to say it, but he knew that she knew. It didn’t need to be said, and she didn’t need to ask for it.

“For all this talk about being prepared,” a joke was started, an attempt to lighten the mood. “I hope you’re packing something good, mister.”

Just like that, the tense atmosphere dropped, like it often did. His eyes were shining as his lips pulled back over his teeth, grin close to feral;

“You have no idea.” 

[mercury-0]

training

Today was pure boxing. 

warm up: cycling 8 mins. mobility/stretching

circuit of 30 secs jumprope, 5 passes on speed ladder, 10 pushups, 5 dips, 5 pullups. Did this 4-5 times. Good pre-fatigue before training. 

5 mins of shadowboxing and footwork stuff. 

rest of the session was just sparring. 2-4 minute rounds of sparring, everyone would spar every few 2-3 rounds. Two go in, one rotates out, one stays in a few rounds, next person comes in. Did this for a solid 2 hours. we had a break every 8-10 minutes. so overall everyone got in roughly 10-15 rounds in. 

I had kind of a break thru boxing wise. Fighting in general(karate or boxing), I’ve always been the long ranged outboxer who countered. I never liked getting punched in the face, so i did hella moving around, hella defense and counter shots. But a new dude named Ed came thru today he was faster then me, more mobile then me, and could throw off combos better then me. So my usual game of fighting tall/lanky, and picking him off didnt work cuz he just rushed me down, get inside my guard and tear me up. So Next few rounds I crouched down a bit, kept the guard tight and compact and just pressed the advantage, i’m bigger and stronger then him, and just allowed myself to take hits, and then eventually my head movement got better so i didnt get hit as much, and i just did hard shots on him. Every 3-4 shots he’d get on me I’d get one hard shot on him, made him work for it.  Next person after that was my main man, Shon. If you have been following me for a while you know Shon is the big strong fast freak of nature who easily pushes me around. But after my break thru with Ed I did the same thing with shon. I crouched down, tucked my chin in and just pressed the advantage. Shon is big like 400-420 lbs, but we were going at it, just blow for blow in the pocket slugging. If you know me as a fighter you know I NEVER do that. But tbh it felt good, effective, and just plain fun. I normally do outfighting with him, but he’s so big and explosive, if you let too much space between him and you open up he closes it very quickly and just bowls you over. Or you can stay out of his way, but at that point your only pecking away at him rather then landing serious blows.  So sometimes it’s best to root down in front of him so he doesnt get that momentum, it’s still hard then too, lmao. Everyone else I fought though(3 others) I beat them pretty handily. Long range,speed, mobility all day. 

TLDR: 2 dudes made me change my approach from outboxing/countering to infighting/pressuring, and it was good stuff. 

[myfirsthaircut]

September 29th, 2020,

Some days people restore your faith in humanity.

Sunday the fiance had a packaged that was delivered to the wrong address. We went to the address the carrier said it was delivered to, but no sign of it. We talked to the upstairs apartment of the deliver address and the woman said she's had packages stolen before. We kind of assumed the package was stolen.

The fiance was pretty pissed, cause he had bought a limited release left handed gaming mouse for his computer. The last time one was released was in 2014, and it sold out in a matter of hours and he didn't get one. This time he managed to by one and was very excited to have a real gamer mouse made for a left handed gamer. The mouse is now sold out, so he figured he had lost his chance yet again.

This is where hope in society returns.

Today during work he got a call from an unknown number. Assuming it was FedEx or the company finally responding to his queries, he answered it. Turns out it was the woman we spoke to through her apartment window on Sunday. There is a back entrance she nearly never uses because it's out of the way. She happened to go through it this morning and found the package halfway between her door and her neighbor's. No one signed for it (it was supposed to be signed for, and FedEx claimed someone did), it was just left there. She checked the package and it had the fiance's name and phone number. She called him to let him know she had it and she'd be home all day if we wanted to come pick it up.

It would have been so easy for her not to call us. She could have opened the package and sold the mouse (Ebay has the last model at nearly $400 because price gouging left handed people is a thing). But she did the right and decent think and got the package to us.

I would like to add that the company that makes the mouse is stupid. 6 years between left handed models is ridiculous, but it is absurd when you consider there was near constant demand for a new model or at the very least another batch of the old one. And, instead of allowing people to preorder the mouse so they knew how many mice to make, they made this model a limited batch and it, again, sold out, leaving many people without the mouse. Will it be another 6 years before they do more? Who knows. It is a stupid business decision.

But some woman who didn't know us made sure we got it. She didnt know what it was, we didnt tell her, and the package wasn't opened.

The fiance actually cried when he opened the box. He tried to explain to me how much of the world isn't made for left handed people. I understood.

Weirdly enough, almost half my friends are left handed. My own mother is ambidextrous only because she gre up during a time her natural left handedness was seen as evil and had to be corrected. She learned to write with her right, but she does almost everything else with her left. In school I would sit next to the left handed desk in class so that my lefty friend could sit next to me.

Anyway, shout ot to the good people in the world. We got our package guardian a thank you card and a gift card. I hope she has a wonderful life. She deserves it.

[lifewithboys]

What Happened?

We are in full swing basketball mode here.  Dean is playing this year for the local rec league and he’s falling in love.  Hayden is just as hard core as ever-he’s in 8th grade and playing for the school this year.  

Roy played growing up.  I swam growing up-and we’ve both coached.  I got paid to coach-it was my job, and I loved it.  I was good at it, and I know for every child I helped, I had a parent that wondered why I didn’t do this or that.  As a coach, it’s hectic to have parents sit there and coach from the sidelines.  It’s hard to have parents sit there and tell you what should and shouldn’t be done.

And as a parent-I see that side as well.  Part of it is you are removed from the situation.  You don’t have to make decisions-which child starts or swims which event.  How long that child plays or if they get to swim on a relay.  As a parent you only see the outcome, not the decisions made to try and reach said outcome.  And to be clear-any coach worth a darn is doing so because they care.  They love the sport, they care about the kids, and they want to give the kids a good experience.  A positive one.

Now, I admit I don’t know as much about Basketball as Roy and Hayden. Even little Dean knows infinitely more than I probably do. I know what a rebound is, I know what a three pointer is-I know all the basics.  I don’t know all the details of a backcourt violation, or why they don’t call holding when someone was clearly holding my child’s jersey.  Yes, I look things up and yes I ask questions-point is I’m still learning.

What I do know is that a bad attitude is a problem.  I know that kids get frustrated and can have bad games.  I know sometimes something seems off and the team just doesn’t get it together.  I know when a child is phoning it in, and when a child is leaving it all on the court.  I know it’s not always about the numbers you put, sometimes it’s about how you work with your teammates. Do you give credit where credit’s due?  Can you admit a mistake, and accept criticism?  You might know someone messed up, they might know, the entire school might know, but can you put aside ego and be a friend, can you be a good teammate?

I liked to win.  I liked to psych out my opponent. If I was behind at a turn, I pushed myself just a little bit harder, and when I saw them looking at me out of the corner of their eye, I relished the challenge.  I was viciously competitive, until one day I was getting ready for a relay.  The 400 IM was my jam.  I swam the butterfly leg-2 laps, (or 4 in a 25 meter pool).  Butterfly was my thing-yet no matter how many times I swam in, I was still dreadfully nervous before each event. And I covered that nervousness with bravado.  I swung my arms just a little bit harder than the girl I was to race against.  I stretched just a bit deeper, and I made sure to have my game face on, until one day something happened.

The girls I swam with were equally as hard core. We were a tight group, we knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  We knew who had to do what based on warm up.  One of us had cramps, so the other three knew to pick up the slack.  And then our backstroker got sick.  The alternate was a quite girl, very nice, but she didn’t swim in our lane.  She didnt’ know all the tricks, and it showed.  I saw her sitting with her back to us, she was shaking and another girl asked if she was ok.  She started crying.  Her fear?  That she would disappoint us.  That she would mess up our time, or get disqualified.  That she couldn’t possibly measure up-and I stopped.  THIS is what my ‘game face’ had reduced a very kind girl too?  I stopped my arm swinging and the three other girls and I silently agreed to reassure her.  We told her it didn’t matter what time we pulled, let’s just do our best.  And did she ever!  No, she wasn’t as fast as my friend.  But I saw her joy at being on the “A” team.  I saw her push herself harder than she ever had, and how happy she was when we cheered for her.  We didn’t win that relay, but we came close-because Kara stepped in and gave it 110%.  

Now, my story is dramatic, but it was a teaching moment for a 14 year old me.  It showed me that sometimes the race isn’t about the win, that sometimes it’s about the journey and what you learn on said journey.  I didn’t lose my hunger to win, but I did understand that winning isn’t the only thing, and I learned that those willing to give their all are the people you want on your team.

And I desperately want my son to learn that.  I direct this at Hayden now, because he is at a competitive age.  Parents are starting to take notice-they are starting to expect more from the coaches and the kids. 

Disclaimer: I can   run my mouth.  If Roy’s there I have a tendency to tamp it down, but if he isn’t.....

Anyways, the team had a game yesterday.  It did not go our way.  Now, I don’t know if the coach was trying something new, or what.  I do know that I drove for well over an hour to support our team-so that’s what I was going to do.  I did my best to film the game for Roy.  I cheered on the boys-ALL of them.  I tried to pay attention to the refs and learn what was what-and I became consciously aware that our team had very few people there.

6 of us to be exact-and I get it.  It’s during the work day, it was a long drive-I know I’m lucky to be able to attend those games, I get it.  But the other parents that were there?

Why weren’t you cheering for the boys?  

Why didn’t you make an effort to cheer for ANYONE-your own child?  Mine?  The other boys?

WHy did you sit there and criticize the coaches?

Why did you ridicule other players? 

And why, if you can do a better job as you told me, do you not step up and offer your expertise?  IF you can do so much better than the two men that devote their time and energy to this team, why aren’t you?  Why are you just coming to a game, complaining it’s crap and a waste of time?

I get it-I’m a parent too.  I want the team to do well, I want them to succeed, but succeeding isn’t just winning.  It’s learning to be a good sport.  It’s learning from your mistakes, and then showing up the next game ready to do better.  Not insulting the coaches and the kids five minutes after a loss isn’t babying them-it’s picking your battles.

My dad was the first one to tell me if I made a mistake-if I false started, if my turn was slow, if I looked sloppy.  But he also understood that there is a time and place.  He didn’t need to come at me after I false started for the second time and got disqualified.  And because he understood this-I felt comfortable listening to his constructive criticism.  Roy does that for Hayden-I’m mom.  I hug him when he’s frustrated-hell I even hug the other boys! And cheer just a bit louder than I should.  But truth be told-win or lose, I’m proud of those boys for getting on that court in the first place. I’m proud when they play to the bitter end, knowing they’re going to lose, but not giving up.  And I’m proud that my son is doing well-I admit it.  I’m proud of every bucket he makes.  I’m proud when he makes a free throw even thought the other team is yelling and screaming against him-and I’m proud when he walks out of that locker room with a smile on his face-no matter what the score board says.

I’m proud when he realizes that there just might be better teams out there, and that the ‘starting five’ needs to up their game.  Him included.  I’m proud that he is starting to understand what it means to be a part of a team.

I wish some of our parents got that...

[attention-deficit-disquirrel]

Ok now that I’m more.. uh.. alive, who wants some fun things that happened at the game jam in no particular order

- went to mcdonalds with 2 friends at 5:07am, only to find that they only serve breakfast after 5. Then we went on a kfc adventure. Spoilers: we couldnt find it, but we did find a closed burger king and tesco

- within 5 minutes of one of the teammates coming back from a nap, we were all so frustrated that we blamed him for the code not working. When he pointed out the really obvious reason why it didnt work, I got out of my wheelchair and just flopped on the floor and didnt move for 10 minutes

- public bool abracafuckyou = true;

- Someone genuinely burst into tears because unity crashed, and 12 people gathered round to hug them because we know the pain

- abracafuckyou caused an error that took us 3 hours to resolve

- “goddammit ben you broke gravity again”

- me: *arrives with mcdonalds* - me: “you can call me.. meals on wheels”

- occasional screams of frustration, followed by 6 people yelling “same”

- “unfortunately our soundtrack is broken and permanently disabled”, said by me as i play left bank two on my mini marshall speaker

- some devs from rockstar were there, and 3 team’s games ended up mocking them, including one person making dlc and selling it for just £400, and another person who actually set up working “jaws cards”

- pretty much all the team names, including “team christian minecraft server”, “the rest of my team are sleeping”, and “shit”

- looking at software memes for exactly 4 hours and 21 minutes

- our description document consisted of an edited version of the avatar: legend of aang theme, with our names instead of “water, earth, fire, air”, and “to be fair, you have to have a very high iq to understand our game”

- one keyboard got broken from someone smashing their head into it out of frustration

- “who wants coffee” - *everyone charges towards coffee man*

- “how’s everything going?” - “broken” - “what, the game?” - “no, us”

[karuoke]

As someone with around 400 hours on mercy she definitely needed a change, she always has needed one and still does. She's been way too over powered for how easy she is to play, and I don't understand why people can't see that smh. But I do think the other supports need to be buffed, to help make it more equal as well as the mercy nerf? What we really need is a new support hero...

agree 100%. it was a huge relief when they got rid of the “hide and seek” mass rez, i really liked how more engaged she became in the fight, but i still felt like im doing too much and it didnt felt right on the opposite side just as well. rez is just such a huge thing in a game like this and also she’s the most mobile support hero, she regens, she doesnt need to aim for healing, she heals the most, she can damage boost and she also brings people back from dead, all that on top of being almost unkillable in her ult and team healing. and her pistol is good too. she just does too much for one hero, especially when you look at the other three. and it makes it more mad knowing that people dont want to acknowledge it and shit on dps players for no fucking reason (even though its support or tank mains speaking.)it’s also easier for them to climb in comp and they are the most dangerous hero to be a one trick of, but that’s jsut a side problem, i jsut don’t like the attitude of her mains to any changes. we all want to have fun,not just you, and every hero gets in a position where they have to work with him,look how often they touched d.va and i don’t see d.va mains cry and call out other players for everything...