#4 x 6. idk my feelings on 6 but it's never really done anything too bad to me so yeah. 24 is the safe zone

[eggmeralda]

okay but I am genuinely so unwell about numbers and dates and ages and time and years etc. so I'm blaming all my bad luck on the number 23

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they���d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[bisexualcage]

If it’s not a problem, can I request a fluffy MK1 Johnny Cage x male reader fic where reader suffers from a lot of chronic pain? I suffer a lot from it and I’m just really in need of some comfort from my bbg Johnny. I’d greatly appreciate it if you did do this!

-🦇 anon (idk if this was taken but if not im now bat anon)

(Sorry this took a bit long!! I hope you enjoy ❤️)

A Rising (Fallen) Star ⭐️ | Johnny Cage x Male Reader

Warnings: no warnings, just very damn tooth rotting fluff!

Relationship: Johnny Cage x Male Reader, MLM

An: I didn’t really proof read so rip

It was nearly 7 pm, Johnny had a busy day but you decided to stay in while he worked. He insisted on staying to pamper you all day but you basically forced him out, he wasn’t gonna miss a directing opportunity because of you. Or at least that’s how you saw it. Every time your chronic pain flared up you felt like hell warmed over, you didn’t want to burden anyone else too much with it and that included Johnny even though he consistently told you otherwise. That didn’t stop him from spamming your phone with texts which you’ve missed in your deep pained slumber.

“Babe, u feeling better? Take ur pain killers. U looked so tired b4 I left”

2:03

“I’m gonna buy u some stuff as soon as

I’m out of this building, I think they like my script idea! Watch out! Director Johnny Cage incoming 😎 no but seriously, u ok?”

4:48

“Hello? Honey???”

5:11

“They accepted my pitch! You’re worrying me. I’m heading over to the pharmacy to pick up some knick knacks for u stud😚”

6:19

Of course, your phone was left accidentally on silent and by the time you read these with guilt on your face you already heard the front door opening and closing, heavy steps approaching your bedroom door. You groan and yawn, sitting up weakly from the bed and rub your sore back. “Ah shit…” you mumbled under your breath.

The door clicks open and you see a worrisome Johnny with bags of stuff hanging from his hands. He takes his shades off as he spots your tired pained figure on the edge of the bed and walks over dropping the bags immediately on the floor.

“Babe, are you okay? You weren’t answering me.” He kneels in front of you and kisses your nose, his eyes so big and soft.

“My back aches so bad. I’m so sorry- as soon as you left I knocked out and-“ you rambled in guilt.

“Shhh, nonsense. Now, do you want me to start a warm bath for you?” He mumbled and caressed your jaw with his hands. “Get those muscles to relax a bit?”

You blush and nod, standing up with a wince.

“Atta boy’.” Johnny smirks and guides you to the bathroom slowly, getting the bath water going immediately.

“I’ll take it from here, okay?” You said softly, you didn’t want him to see you as weak. This has happened one too many times. It was stupid, he insisted that he didn’t see you as a burden and that he liked caring for you when you were in pain yet you just couldn’t stop being stubborn about it.

Johnny made a sigh, looking over you one last time before nodding and then peeping through the open crack of the door one last time, “Shout at me, I’ll be right outside if you need anything okay, honey?” He said tenderly.

The actor had a knowing expression, the way you were trying to act tough all of a sudden and able. You knew that he could see through your facade. When the door closed you started stripping and then submerged yourself in the warm water, you sighed in pleasure as your sore muscles relaxed. About 15 minutes passed while you were soaking in there, you winced in pain as you pulled yourself up from the bath. Carefully leaning over to get a towel, you were practically shaking.

“Christ-“ you sigh tiredly as you rubbed the towel down your torso and legs. Once you were done drying and dressing up, you started to smell something as you made your way towards the kitchen.

Johnny never cooked, not if he could help it.

Oh no. He’s cooking.

“Johnny wh-“

“Don’t worry baby, I ain’t burned the house down yet.” He turned around from the stove to face you, something simmering in a pot. Johnny looked at you up and down in your cozy pajamas and wet hair, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you tightly against him. He started rubbing the back of your wet head as he held you in his arms and talked.

“How was that bath? Warm enough?” He mumbled against your neck with his eyes closed, very at peace to be in your arms.

You grew warm and smile softly for the first time all day, “It was good, very nice.” You whisper, overlooking his shoulder and seeing the food being cooked. “Is that…soup?”

Johnny chuckled and pulled back, “It’s canned soup I got you from the pharmacy. Among other things.”

“Are you sure you’re cooking that-“

“Honey, I ain’t gonna stink up the house like last time I promise. It’s just simple soup I’m warming up for my, baby boy.” He smirks at you and walks over to the soup, turning the stove off.

You grow warm, whenever he called you baby boy he knew it sent you over the moon. He was being purposeful.

“Before you eat…” He looks back at you briefly and starts pouring the hot vegetable soup in to a bowl, your stomach already grumbling, “…I’m gonna give you some pain killers alright? You haven’t drank any right?”

You scratch your head, you could have sworn in your painful delirium earlier that you planned on taking them but you just knocked out immediately. “No I haven’t…damn it.”

Johnny chuckles, walking over to you with the soup in hand and places it on the kitchen island, motioning for you to sit. As you do, he takes out a painkiller bottle and gives you two pills with a glass of water. “Drink BOTH.” He said a bit sternly but with the upmost care in his eyes.

You groan, “Johnny-“

“Don’t Johnny me, I know you hate pills and swallowing them.” He crosses his arms, waiting for you to swallow them.

He was right, you hated them and you always had trouble downing them. But you took a deep breath as he rubbed your arm and swallowed them easily. It’s like his presence alone made things easier.

“Good boy! Woohoo!” He kisses your cheek, “Nothing The Cagester can’t bring out of people.” He jokes and winks at you.

“Alright alright- settle down movie star.” You smirk at him as you start practically downing the soup at a crazy pace. “These are good, no burn flavor.”

Johnny rolls his eyes and watches you eat with a small smile on his face, he was like a hawk. “I know you didn’t eat all day or take your pills.”

You look at him with shyness, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know honey, I know. I can’t imagine what’s it’s like to hurt all the time. You start to loose the energy to do basic things.” He says with an understanding face, yet he was holding something back. Biting his tongue.

“Johnny, I thank you for all of this. I know it’s not easy sometimes and I sure don’t make them easy.” You say lowly, looking down at your lukewarm soup.

Johnny looks at you with glassy eyes, or maybe that was the dim lights in the kitchen, you couldn’t tell. Nonetheless he swallowed heavily and walked between your legs on the chair you were sitting and placed both of his hands on your cheeks— looking deep in to your tired eyes.

“When I’m with you it’s like I’m a damn lovesick puppy, you make things unbelievably easy for me. I’ve told you before, I don’t care about what you got going on. You’re not a burden-“

“I didn’t say-“

“But you’re thinking it. You’re constantly thinking it. I saw it back in the bathroom. I see it now. And if I need to reassure you a billion times that you’re nothing but a star in my life then I will. I like taking care of you. I like doing these things for you. You’re my guy, you’re my boy.” He runs his thumbs across your cheeks, his eyes filled with nothing but care.

Suddenly, he leans in and crashes his lips on to yours, you’re engulfed by his warmness, his proximity, his love. He shifts his lips softly against yours, taking his time, your noses rubbing against one another. A small grunt leaves your throat and you reciprocate just as passionately. You then both pull back slightly, breathing heavily and trying to catch your breath with him. He keeps his arms around your waist, rubbing lightly at your sore back in circular motions.

“Someone’s passionate today…” you chuckle.

“For you? Always. Now eat up. After that you’re gonna lay down for me and we’re gonna try the new heat pad I bought you.” He grins with excitement.

“Another one?! I have like 5 heating pads from you already!” You laugh.

“But this one supposedly has some cotton flex technology that helps muscles or some shit, isn’t that cool?” His eyes are shiny.

“Is this what you decide to buy with your big new director money?” you laugh more with a blush.

“Hey! This big new director got his script approved today. Green lit baby! So more heating pads coming your way.” He says playfully, loving the banter between you both.

“Congratulations!” You say lovingly with a huge smile on your face, “I’m so proud of you ahh.” You squeeze him closer to you.

“Thank you, sweetheart! I told you, that Karate Zombie script was gold- wait a second are you trying to distract me from you eating your soup cause it’s cold now?” He says teasingly.

You snort loudly, clearly being caught a bit. But you were still proud of him regardless.

“Eat the soup! I will feed it through your nose if I gotta!”

[azsazz]

SJM Ask Game

Thank you for the tag @daydreaming-nerd !! 💙💙 (I do want to hear those redacted answers for where you put tharion lol) I feel like it's been so long since I've been on tumblr or even done one of these but I'm excited💙

1) What’s your favourite SJM book?

Hmmmm I'm gonna say ACOMAF because that's when I was first introduced to Azzy and the obsession began 💙😈

2) Which is your favourite series (tog, acotar or cc)

If you don't know me, CC is one of the worst books I've ever read. It's hard to choose between ACOTAR and TOG tho because they were both really good....

3) Who is your favourite character? (And why?)

Hehehehehehehehe. Az obviously 🥰

4) Do you have a favourite quote from one of the books?

Hmmmm...tbh not really...the ones that stay stuck in my head are the cringey ones...BUT, let's go with "Cassian shot him a glare. 'I don't see you spouting poetry, brother.' Azriel crossed his arms, still smiling faintly, 'I don't need to resort to it.'" THAT'S GODDAMN RIGHT BBY YOU DONT 💙💙 legs spread for mah boi

5) Favourite ship?

Azris frfr

6) Elriel or Gwynriel? Or neither?

Azris frfr

7) Who’s the most underrated SJM character?

Oooof there's so many. Fenrys. I've never gotten enough of him.

8) Which character do you wish to learn more about?

Azris frfr. I want both of their backstories rn

9) Are there any characters you don’t like?

Bryce Quinlan and Danika Fendyr

10) Favourite bat boy?

My king azriel 💙💙

11) Favourite court?/ Which one would you most like to live in?

Honestly I'd probably either live in Autumn or Night tbh.

12) Favourite SJM villain?

Does Tamlin count? lol.

13) If you could change one thing in any of the books what would it be?

That CC never happened

14) Favourite SJM theory?

Azris frfr

15) Favourite Archeron sister?

Prob Ness

16) A character you feel is over-hated/ underrated:

over-rated: bryce quinlan

under-rated: chaol 💙

17) Aelin, Bryce, or Feyre?

Aelin!!

18) What’s your favourite character from each series?

Fenrys, Azriel, Ruhn

19) If you wrote an acotar book what would you call it?

A Court of Smoke and Cinders? (azris frfr)

20) Who is your favourite acotar blogger?

nah there's literally too many to choose from

21)What fics would you recommend to people who love the series?

The Serpent and the Wings of Night

Questions for writers

22) Easiest character to write for?

Azzy because i built him brick by brick

23) Hardest character to write for?

LUCIEN. IDK WHY

24) What’s a character you’d like to write for but haven’t yet?

lol who haven't i written for? hmmmm...maybe fenrys, aedion, or hunt?

25) What’s a court you’d like to write about more?

Dawn!

26) What’s a character you won’t write for and why?

hmmm...idk I'd like to say that I'd try anything once...

27) If you could only write for one character ever again, who would you pick?

azzy. nobody compares to him

28) Whats your favourite trope to write about when it comes to Azriel?

right now i think modern aus...in any sort. or anything that involves angst i love putting everyone thru some shit

29) What do you think is the best/favourite acotar fic you’ve written?

hmmmm...i feel like this is impossible to choose

30) Who are your favourite friendships to write about?

eris x anyone because this man needs a friend

31) For first time readers to your blog, which three fics would you recommend they read?

LMAO ummm...I'll list at least one for. every character

Az: Cupid's Chokehold or Midnight Muse

Cass: In Storm or Dial Drunk or Better Men Have Hit Their Knees and Bigger Men Have Died

Eris: You Know I Always Liked Playing with Fire or Hide

Rhys: Clandestine Love or Dioxazine

Lucien: The Other Woman or My Happy Ending

or literally any poly can't go wrong with those tbh

No pressure tags: @writingsbychlo @acourtofwhatthefuck @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @azrielhours @a-frog-with-a-laptop or anyone else who wants to participate!

[natlovespink]

Unpopular options on TLOUS fanfics/ and more

1. Ellie would never let you strap her down😭 I'm sorry if you ok with that, that's fine. I'm not judging, but home girl would NEVER let you do that to her.

2. Stop making Ellie seem like a man. No, she's not gonna pick you up and throw you. I also don't think she's this big dommy, mommy. idk why, but I don't see it.

3. I don't like Ellie x Abby. I'm sorry, I dont see it happening.

4. I also don't like how some people write Abby just because she's built like a "man" doesn't mean she acts like one 😭

My opinions on a the TLOUS game in general.

1. Joel is a bad person. I love him, don't get me wrong, but Joel did some really awful and gruesome things that didn't need to be done, but I understand.

2. All of abby friends deserved it but Owen and Mel which I'll talk about later. But they all deserved it they way they talked about how they KILLED KIDS!? was crazy and Manny showed how cooky a d unfair he was and how disrespectful they were to Joel's body.

3. Mel was not in the wrong for not liking abby. She only wanted Mel to come so she can keep Joel alive so she can keep hurting him. Then abby always seem to get in the way of her and Owen's relationship. Owen isn't perfect but the fact that he told abby not to kill Ellie and he said she went overboard showed how he had a little bit of humanity and what he said about thr fireflies being terrorists.

4. Let's stop acting like Abby is perfect 😭 she's to me sadistic. It's kind of the fact that she liked killing scars and even killing CHILDREN them saying it was their fault!? But not just that it's the way she killed Joel after he helped her it's all Joel knew was that someone was gonna cut a little girls head open to TRY and fix humanity Joel didn't know that man he did what he thought was right.

5. Dina had EVERY RIGHT to leave Ellie🤷🏾‍♀️ people say she left because she thought ellie was dead.but she knows ellie, and she knows she's not gonna let anyone do anything TO HER. She just didn't want to deal with the fact of losing another loved one, and Dina was tired of fighting and having to stick by Ellie and this obsession.

6. Tommy forced Ellie.to go after abby which is why we got the ending that we got I understand how hard it must be losing pretty much all you biological family is hard but damm he saw how good ellie had it and it's got ruined.

7. Naughty dog forced us to feel bad foe Abby Ik she may not know what the fireflies where really up to but other then that she and the other wolf members had it good growing up🤷🏾‍♀️ and I don't know what abby expected not for Joel's love ones to come after her? I only started liking abby because of how she took care of Lev and me.readimg fanfics. 😩 but other then that I don't like her and never will really feel bad for her.

8. I'm sorry but if it was Abby vs Ellie again Abby would win🤷🏾‍♀️ Ellie is a 5"5 skinny girl vs a 5'10 muscles Abby would win and the only reason she didn't was because all her muscles where gone.

9. I like the ending of TLOUS 2 Ellie saw Joel In Abby and she realized she can't hold this grunge and surprisingly I feel Joel wouldn't want Ellie to track down his killer and make it her life mission and he would be PISSED at Tommy for making Ellie track down Abby.

10. I feel like is Abby knew what the fireflies where doing she wouldn't stand for it. Not even if her dad said it was for humanity I feel like she would belive what he was doing was wrong.

11. Ellies NEVER gonna get over Riley that was her first love, and I feel like she loved Dina but never the way she loved Riley, and that goes for her relationship with Cat too.

Hiii sorry for my English again 😅 now these are MY OPINIONS

[writerscafehub]

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

@eulalielatibule

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

Hmm I'd say I'm like, 2.8? I'm pretty basic and don't do much editing but my stories are good and I'm proud of them!

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I think I excel at fluffy family fics. I just love writing good dads being sweet with their kids, especially daughters. Another thing that makes me stand out is how I write autistic!reader. I haven't seen anyone else write that for the Chris Evans fandom (not including Steve) so I'm proud to be the one to do it.

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Everyone in the server is so talented and they all inspire me in different ways. @a-lumos-in-the-nox puts out story after story with her OC and Ron Weasly and I just love that! Especially as someone who wants to start writing more OCs. @flordeamatista’s writing is so poetic and beautiful and I admire it so much

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

I'm pretty proud of my Suburban Dad Sunday verse. It's done so well but it's also just very fun for me to write and it's letting me explore characters that I hadn't written for previously.

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Jake Jensen is definitely the easiest. Idk he's just so sweet and fun and the vibes are immaculate with him! The most difficult would probably be any dark character

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

I write a lot about Jake and fluff/hurt and comfort.

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

I have a Lloyd Hansen fic with a living music box ballerina. It'll be a giant/tiny fic which I know isn't super popular but I find it so comforting and I'm excited to share it!

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

I believe it was Phantom of the Opera 🙈😂

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

I can't think of any tropes, but I do love reading daddy kink fics lmao

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

I mean never say never, but I do not like enemies to lovers. Idk why, I just can't get behind it. I also will likely never write a mob au.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Probably my most recent one with Jake Jensen x Reader x Ari Levinson. H-O-T-T-O-G-O was my first time writing a throuple and it was interesting!

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

I love writing Lloyd Hansen and his Reader for SDS. He's just so funny and petty and it's fun to see his shenanigans!

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

No, I get too distracted. I need it to be quiet while I write. I do have playlists to help me get into the right headspace or to help with muse.

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

One shots all the way

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

All the time! Although I feel like most of my fics are little side quests to one big story/universe. I want to do more with The Purrfect Pair- Kitten is so cute and there's lots of potential for mischief with her and Wanda.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Soooo many things. I want to write a smutty series but smut is just so hard for me to write for some reason. I admire those who write it so effortlessly!

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

There are many comments that I hold near and dear to my heart. Recently I got a comment from @thezombieprositute who said my ability to turn simple prompts into heart warming stories was a testament to my skills and it really made my day.

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

A long time ago I wrote a Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers Halloween fic. It was on my old account so it isn't around anymore, though I might repost it here. It was definitely a challenge as it was more involved and took a lot of world building. It turned out okay, but maybe I'll revisit it and do some editing!

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Fluff, all the time.

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Do I?? I have so many. Thank you for the time to infodump about some of my favorites lmao

I have Eloise Montgomery who is a sexretary for Pete Brenner. Her face claim is Sydney Sweeney!

There's also Charles Randolph who is similar to Ransom in that he's a bratty rich boy who I pair with Ari Levinson. His face claim is Logan Lerman.

I have soooo many but they are my favorites!

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Oh gosh, that's hard. Probably my The Purrfect Pair au. I want to live in a cottage with Wanda Maximoff more than anything!

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I can't think of anything in particular. It just takes me a while to write because of burn out and stuff but I love it and I love sharing it with everyone 🩷

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Oof this is hard for some reason but I do like this from Pine-ing For You

One time when you both were drunkenly singing All I Want for Christmas is You, he pulled you over to the plant hanging from the ceiling and kissed you straight on the mouth. It was a chaste, puckered lips type of kiss and yet it still made your heart flutter from excitement. You both carried on as if nothing happened, never brought it up when you were sober. You eventually decided the incident was merely drunken shenanigans and nothing more, although a part of you wanted to feel his plush lips against yours again.

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I'm excited for all that I have planned this year and I hope I can venture into some new territory with my fic writing. I appreciate everyone's support, you all mean the world to me! 🙏🏼 

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

Hi:) I made a post with the same questions I'm about to put in here, but then deleted it since I thought I'll be guaranteed to get an answer if I just ask you.

I've been playing MLQC since its launch. To be honest, haven't kept up with the story in years and only continue playing and logging in to get Shaw's cards, but I do know how the game works like the back of my hand.

A few days ago I saw Sylus for the first time on X, and the minute I did I began to debate whether or not I should install Love and Deepspace. Just so I can see what he's like. He's very attractive, and he seems charismatic and mysterious too lol

However, before I decide to download and make a potential commitment, I want to know a few things first. 99% of my questions are general questions, while the other 1% isn't :P

What's the game like? (gameplay, mechanics, options, daily tasks(?), currencies, gacha, etc.)

Are there similarities to MLQC? (gameplay-wise, content, dailies, wish tree, events, etc.)

The cards come with stories, right? I honestly feel stupid asking this, but I'm just that clueless about the game and how it works lolol

Is the game F2P-friendly? (tolerable grinding, fairness in stocking up on required materials, cost of cards, etc.) Is it at least similar to MLQC in terms of abundance in materials and currency?

Do limited cards get re-runs? Or is it that once a card is launched and its event ends, the chance to get it is forever gone?

Can cards only be pulled, or can they also be run in MLQC-style shoot/birthday events and bought using in-game currency (i.e. like the gems in MLQC)?

There's probably a grade to the cards, correct? (SR, SSR, UR, etc.)

I saw on the store that Sylus's 'Wish' event is ongoing at the moment; will his card be added permanently after the event ends, or is this a one-time thing (like the time ltd. Wish Tree events in MLQC)?

Taking into consideration the fact that I'll be a noob with barely any resources, if at all: do I have a chance of getting Sylus's card before the event end if I begin playing soon?

Sorry for all the questions, and thank you for your response in advance :D

hello! firstly i’m sorry but my answers will only have necessary info b/c i’m not in the physical or mental state to go at lengths rn.

(1) it's an otome with action elements i.e. different styles of combats. there's also main story, dates, socmed, mini games, photo booth etc.

(2) idk whether to laugh or cry here tbh. in all fairness, PG really just took every feature of lovepro/ MLQC and upgraded them in LaDS (the combats aside LOL). although personally i don’t have anything positive to say on their writing quality, so you’ll have to figure out your feelings on that yourself ahah.

the dailies are quick once you've been there long enough as it is with most games. the wish tree has pity carry over system. they have two types of gacha pools: permanent and limited. and the two pools have different ticket currencies. there is no exchange system for event cards like MLQC.

leveling up the cards is an extremely tricky business here by the way. it's gonna become an essay if i try to explain, but know that you can never have enough stamina here LOL.

(3) yes. the 5 and 4 stars.

(4) nope lmfao. even if you tunnel vision one bias, it'd be difficult have all his cards without spending. they do have free 5 and 4 star card events though and those give rewards + the limited events often offer some rewards (in-game), but still it'd be hard if you have crappy gacha luck plus their stupid 50/50 choice in the pool almost never works lol and since the game is a simulpub, you won't have the advantage you have with MLQC to plan out your spending.

a friend of mine has done an overview, so please go through that to get an idea: ♡

(5) give it some time 😂 the game is only six months old. eventually all limited cards are re-run in these sort of games.

(6) no, there's no currency only card like MLQC in the game (at least not as of now). all cards are to be obtained through gacha (free ones aside).

(7) yes.

(8) QinChe/ Sylus has multiple events going on at the moment. there's a limited pool that ends on august 1 and you won't be able to get that one after the event until further notice. and the permanent pool also has a limited mechanism right now that will end after the event. but every other card except for event limited card will be added to the permanent pool afterwards.

(9) the permanent cards can be obtained later too (though definitely will be way harder b/c the limited mechanism for the permanent pool will gone then). as for the limited banner, it depends on your luck 😂 70x is the pity for 5-stars. i can't remember if there was any newbie pity, but since there's no guarantee or exchange, it might prove hard to obtain the card without spending if you have bad gacha luck. :/

hope these answer your questions~

—

[i-did-not-mean-to]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you so much @thenookienostradamus and @lordoftherazzles for the tag...

Let's see...

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 554 (with two not revealed yet as we speak...). Many of those are collections, though.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,986,915 (erm...yeah...well)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien (The Hobbit, LOTR, The Silm). (+ the odd AU or Richard Armitage movie)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Tumblr Imagines (Wild Mix of everything) , October 2022 Ficlet run (same), A key change (Remix Fic), Black (Thorin x OC), Silm imagines and ficlets (Wild Mix again)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, in due time. I struggle a lot with being overwhelmed at times (imposter syndrome, fear of not knowing what to say, comments heaping up), but I am so thankful for every comment that I do try to answer them all in a timely manner.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I've written about 1k fics; I do not remember all of them :s I generally don't write angst, so I really couldn't say. Sorry :(

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Everything? I am a Happy Ending person, so most of my fics (eventually) get a happy ending :D

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not yet (crossed fingers). At times, I get comments I don't really understand (autism ahoi), but I hope that people didn't mean anything mean by it :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? SMUT? ME? Noooo *cough*...Let's say it has happened! What kind? What kind do you want, baby? MF, FF, MM, trans characters, non-binary characters, threesomes, it has all happened. Sweet and tender? Check. Rough and dirty? Check. Dubconny and dark? Check. Just tell me what you want, and there is a good chance I've either done it or would do it :D

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have written one crossover for an event (where characters go into a whole different franchise). Otherwise, I am an AU bitch. Disney movies, musicals, you name it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Once for an event. Otherwise, I think one could call what @cilil and @melkors-big-tits did for the calendar co-writing. In a way, many collabs with artists are co-written. Any event collab is co-writing (to me). Me stealing @cilil's ideas is co-writing. Me asking for ideas on the @fellowshipofthefics and @tolkienpinupcalendar servers is co-writing. So...yes...yes I have, and I've loved it.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Ori x OC, Maedhros x Fingon, Eönwë x Gothmog

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Black. It's one of my first fics, and there's only a chapter or so missing...but I don't know if I'll ever finish writing that last chapter. There are a few more where I've written 1-5 additional chapters and never uploaded them...for reasons (?). By now, I am too ashamed and lazy to get back to them.

16. What are your writing strengths? Versatility and speed. I am a mediocre writer in my 5th foreign language, and I make no bones about it. Nevertheless, I am willing to give anything and everything a try :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am extremely wordy. It takes me too long to get to the smut. I refuse to describe settings and geography, so all my plots seem a bit floating and vague.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I avoid using languages I don't speak which includes Tolkien's languages. I am too afraid to make mistakes or to sound cringe to people who know better than me. As for RL languages...a word maybe, but a whole sentence (again) might feel contrived...IDK everyone does as they want, but I am not feeling it for myself.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Hamilton (and yes, those stories are orphaned and can never be traced back to me) Otherwise, the Hobbit LOL

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Monkey-business, because I really liked writing that fic. It's a kitschy Hallmark Christmas story featuring Ori (not interesting, I know). But that's my personal fave lol...

Hmmm, let's tag @maglor-my-beloved, @lathalea, @scyllas-revenge, @laurfilijames, @middleearthpixie, @littlesweetdressmaker, @legolasbadass, @urwendii, @cilil, @the-red-butterfly, @fishing4stars, and @elentarial to get a good mix of people :D

[wawamouse]

Fanfic ask game but I answer all the questions on my own because I can and I want to lol (and you can too 😌)

What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today? My first fanfic was a Harry Potter fanfic I wrote in 3rd grade from the POV of James Potter going to Hogwarts (I had read books 1-6 in 2nd grade). I thought I was a genius for this because I had no idea fanfic was already a real thing.

What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come? My most recent fic was "Riptide", answered for a kiss prompt. I've come very far! I wrote a bit of fanfic throughout high school years ago but didn't get heavy back into it until 4 years ago, during the height of the pandemic.

In your opinion, what’s your best fic? Honestly can't judge this. I have my most kudosed fic, but it definitely isn't my best. I think I would have pick one of my shorter Miguel/Chico fics, or else one of my longer rongzhi fics.

In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic? It would have to be one of my HxH fics. I wrote a series for it in high school or college (idr). The show had seen a resurgence in popularity at the time, I think, because it was around when the remake anime was released on Netflix. I think it must be "We Who Have the Souls" that is my most kudosed fic.

Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that? Off the top of my head: "For Nothing Tender About it" (MiguelChico), "At Rise" (M/C), "Exit Wound" (Sui Zhou/Wan Tong), and "A Dying Eye" (Ding Rong/Wang Zhi)... I've been re-reading a lot of my shorter fics lately. I really like "Alibi" lately...

Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that? Probably if I reread one of the ones I orphaned or one of the ones I wrote in my early days which only exists on a thumb drive now lol.

What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)? "The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua". Zombie apocalypse fic. Someday….

What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)? Out of Nowhere, I guess. But I don't remember anything to finish it. Next oldest is The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua.

Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material? No.

Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it? Yeah, The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty (I started the tag), Hamlet (wrote fanfic for a class), Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. I also think I wrote Need For Speed (movie) fanfic before there were any other fics to read, but I might be wrong about that.

Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting? I don't think so? Not if 'concept' means 'same plot premise'. Yeah, no, I don't think so. There are some stories where something necessarily has to be written to cross canon point A to B to get to where you want to be in the fanfic, but… no? Maybe "Collision Course"? I wrote the in the car talking concept originally as what was going to be a remix of @/merelyafigment's tumblr snippet.

Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why? I write really trashy smut and wattpad level indulgence in my notes app as a fun activity before bed sometimes. But those are never really meant to be published, though they're there for me to steal bits and pieces from for actual fics. Actually, a good chunk of "For Nothing Tender About It" and "Countdown" and probably smaller portions of some other fics I'm forgetting came from that notes app. Sometimes I'll read back stuff and be like "hey, that's actually not that bad" and polish it up, chop off the trashier bits, and then turn it into a oneshot.

What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today? I'm a better writer? Lol. Idk, punctuation, probably. I used to write X-men fic exclusively (the comics) so I had a horrible habit of writing out accents (think Gambit, Rogue, Wolverine, etc). I've shaken off a lot of that style, though I still like capturing some of a character's voice.

What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today? I don't think I had much taste in the past… There was a point where I was very undiscerning about what I read.

Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular? No, I don't think like that. For the longest time, I didn't engage in fandom or actually make friends in the fandom. I just posted stuff and if someone read it, nice. I was more free 😂

Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention? I have a fanfic for a ship I am the sole writer of that has exactly 2 kudos.

In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic? One of my most kudosed fic (496 wtf, just checked) is a Glenn/Daryl fic for the Walking Dead. It's not particularly good. But the fandom is big, I guess, so even rarepairs thrive there.

What’s your most underrated fic? I would point to any number of my Miguel/Chico fics, except that all eyes looking for that pair at a given time have likely already read the fic, so it wouldn't really be correct to call any of them underrated. Underrated, maybe, in the sense of wOULD You LiKE tO TaLk AboUt IT PerHAPS?! MaY I wOrd VoMIT AbouT It?? HeLLo?

If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick? What a funny question…

Well. He could feel quite senseless sometimes. Idle-minded, it had been said of him; and if not idle-minded, then fixating on idle pleasures. That was all it was.

—Surpassing Corridors

Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down? No way. That's too much work. I just make changes directly into the fic lol.

If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs? I'll often go to their profile and see what other fics they're into or what fandoms they've written for, if they have. If they write a fic later for the pairing, I'll make sure to read their fic and comment.

Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed? I have a mutual who me and a friend always refer to as "AO3 User [Full URL]" because her fanfic was amazing. Even to this day, I don't like to bother her too much 😂

What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten? There's a couple of people who've read my fics or have gotten friends to read my fics despite not being in the fandom, and I really treasure that. Of course the long comments are always the best :D <3 But I also really like short comments, and this one was really touching (commented on a (sort of) vampire AU I wrote): "What a great premise - totally unexpected (which after 25 years of fic, hard to find) and beautifully written."

What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it? Someone flamed me on an Xmen fic I wrote years ago on ff.net, criticising the plot and my grammar. I didn't really care, though; my response upon reading it was like "Dude I am literally 12 years old" LOL.

What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review? Never gotten any reviews like this, except maybe the one I mentioned above. I don't think I get enough comments to have seen the breadth of the type of negative reviews people leave.

What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised? Uhhh… When there was a nice thing in the plot or the dialogue and people say Wow or when they say they could imagine the character saying it or something… (< imagine I said that in a weird low voice like Eeyore)

If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick? Single fandom fics. I'm really picky about crossovers and don't read them often.

if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick? I'm gonna say Oz because that's my current interest right now LOL.

Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy? I don't know what this means. No? I've written nearly 60 fics for both TSOMD and Oz for pairings that don't have that many fics to read if you subtract my contribution lol. There's some fandoms I've read an enormous amount of fic for (especially in the past) that I've never written for, too.

Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one? I'll still write for the past fandom when inspiration strikes, but I have a small brain so I forget plot stuff and can't capture the tone as well, I feel like.

Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right? Can't say. A character I've never written, probably. I'm delusional in a way so I feel like all my characterisations are valid, even if on the surface, I wring my hands and go "sorry for the OOCness!" Also, once I get into the groove of writing a certain character, it comes easier. But I guess there are still moments where I freak out and think I've not been writing them properly. I still think I write Miguel as too nice or something.

Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying? Omar White…?

Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up? Hmm. Hm… Sister Peter Marie, maybe? Got her in some unpublished wips as well as "In the Blink of an Eye". She's useful as a therapist character lol.

Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way? Nope. I don't have stats like that.

Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to? No? I've added ships into wips as they've gone along and things developed. Is that the question? Then yes, I guess.

Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic? I wrote a fanfic for a ship that I don't really like for a fic donation drive event, if that counts. Oh wait, yeah, I've written two other ships I don't like into fics before. For the angst.

Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic? Only if it's in character for a character to shit on another one. I don't insert my meta author opinion like that, though. Kind of tasteless as well as pointless.

Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why? I don't think so? I don't assume anything about potential readers like that.

Do you consider yourself to have a readership? Yeah, in a sense. It's easier to identify the repeat readers when there's only like 5 of them, plus guests. I don't really consider all of you guys readership tho because I feel like that implies some kind of interaction between author and audience.

Do you feel like you put out enough content? 🤣🤣🤣 I probably put out TOO much content. "Readership", as they say, has dwindled. But by god, I'm still going.

If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site? I sometimes post to Tumblr (ask memes) or Dreamwidth (community prompts) but I prefer AO3, especially because for the rare comment that I do get, I can find it again easily. I don't really like posting fic directly to Tumblr because if someone comments on it the fic or post or whatever, I can't find it easily. And I have a really really bad memory 😭 I like things in one place.

How many views has your most popular fic gotten? Highest hit count is 12,026 hits on "We Who Have the Souls," which is my top kudosed fic (751).

Your least popular? My fic with the least kudos, "Prey Animal" (2), has 47 hits, but my fic with the lowest hits is tied between "Movie Time" and "Sore Spot" with 10 hits.

Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received? Yeah, I've been trying to leave kudos/comments on every story I've read since like two years ago? Sometimes if I really have no energy, I don't comment, but then I feel guilty. I'm only subscribed to one fic, though, and I'm not super into bookmarking.

If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself? I wanna say Action/Adventure, but the more accurate would be that broader genre, Drama.

Do you consider yourself a diverse author? Idk what this means. I'm a gay chinese dude, is that what this is asking? lol

If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? I would give them my Hamlet or RAGAD fics bc they are the most respectable ones by virtue of proximity to Shakespeare lol.

Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too? My IRL friends from high school (now internet friends :') ) and my sister. No to HS friends (not anymore, anyway). And my sister isn't in fandom.

Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it? :D Yes <3

Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive? Yes and yes. I think fanfic has made me a better writer. I've made friends through fanfiction, and it's pretty much the only think in my life, besides other fandom creating, that keeps me creative and not wanting to slam my head into a wall <3

[lumosatnight]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @acnelli (x), @schmem14 (x), and @indigo-scarf (x)!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I just reached exactly 100 works! Low-key so happy that my Pansmione soulmates fic was #100.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

301,754!! I am actually shocked by how high this is.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (97)

First Kill (TV 2022) (1)

방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS (1)

Wednesday (TV 2022) (1)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What is this, fucking Jeopardy? [Drarry, E, 20.4k]

White, the colour of flowers [Drarry, M, 3.2k]

A Heart So Colourful ♡ [Viktor/Ron, E, 1.5k]

Impervius, Not [Drarry, T, 5.0k]

7 Days of Halloween: I Don't Feel Like Myself Anymore [Wolfstar, E, 29.7k]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh heck yeah! I love getting and responding to comments. I've met some wonderful people in the comments section of fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Your Cigarette Smell [Sirius/Narcissa, E, 9.7k] with canon-compliant character death, so I think you know where this is going.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of my fluffy fics? Maybe Lavmione in Lavender for Morning or Nottpott in Silver Surprise.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet (*crosses fingers*). I've had some mildly annoying comments (like saying how they disliked background Dramione in a Drarry fic I wrote), but nothing to make me wanna bash my head against the wall.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Umm... yes. I am currently in the middle of posting the smuttiest, most depraved series I have ever written for this year's Kinktober.... so check it out ig?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not so much crossovers but heavily inspired by other stories. I wrote Dronarry in a Sandman AU and also Hermione/Daphne in a Twilight AU 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Nottpott fic was translated into Russian. How cool is that??

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have done art collabs but never co-written a fic. Definitely something I'd love to try. Maybe it'll happen next year!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Idk there's too many to choose!! I probably read Drarry the most, but I think that's mostly because there's just SO MANY amazing Drarry authors. I can honestly be convinced to like any ship if I like the writing style and the story. I'm a huge rare pair and femslash shipper!!! The communities are just so wonderful 💖

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Never say never! But I'm really lacking motivation to finish my Squid Games AU Drarry fic. I love the concept, but the plot is just not flowing.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotion. I like my fics to pack a punch. I think I'm getting pretty good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Longfic. It's hard for me to sustain motivation for one idea. I have too many running through my brain at once, and I always get distracted by the shiny new headcanon.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've seen it. I've done it. I'm ambivalent, mostly. I think it can be a great way to show cultural differences between characters. But I also think 90% of the time it unnecessarily confuses the reader because if you don't know the language, you're just going to skip over the dialogue. And if you do know the language, then you'll notice if it doesn't sound natural. Yeah... not a fan when it's just google translated and copy-pasted.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Anything on my Author's Favorites list! From recently though, maybe my Perciver strip chess fic 😉

Tagging (no pressure): @crazybutgood, @anaxandria-writes, @sugareey-makes-stuff, @givereadersahug, @orange-peony

[acerathia]

twenty questions for fic writers 💖

thank u for the dag erika @kedsandtubesocks !! and!! open tag for everyone who wants to!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

as of now, 10! i'd like to think im pretty consistent with posting on there fjsdlkf

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

88,099 words lolol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

honestly, anything that tickles my fancy. a lot of bnha, some jjk, naruto ofc, and honestly, even genshin, hsr, lds, undertale, orv. i even had a phase where i was writing marvel fics hahaha

4. Top five fics by kudos

let's see

drowning in you (Rafayel x reader)

The Apple of my Eye (Izuku x reader)

equilibrium (Aventurine x reader)

Grave Robbery (Katsuki x reader)

two birds: a tragedy in five acts (Obito x reader)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I honestly get so excited over every comment i get, i cant help but immediately respond 😔

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

idk if it's considered a fic, but that short dabi piece, i cant find the link o7 but it was pretty angsty but in terms of an actual fic, i would consider the ending of 'two birds' as the angstiest ending? maybe

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i would say that on terms of happiness, most of them are equal, bc i tend to end fics on the same place during the momentum hahaha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

this question assumes that people outside of my mutuals read my fics hahaha, no, not really o7

9. Do you write smut?

i've never written explicit smut, just alluding to it or using metaphors. i dont feel comfy writing smut (yet) hahaha

10. Craziest crossover?

never done a crossover o7

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

again, no hahaha

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

boring answer, again no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes,,, i did write a fics with my bsf in middle school. but also, kinda during my wattpad days... dont ask hahaha

14. All time favorite ship?

my mutualy x happiness <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my marvel fics honestly had pretty cool ideas, but i'm just not into it anymore lolol. but also, one huge fic ive written in ms for mm, but bc it was on paper, i lost everything o7 i'd like to think that even if i take breaks, that i pull through most of the time, unless i completely lose interest

16. What are your writing strengths?

good question, uhm, i think my writing style is nice? idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I often cant pull through if the plot is supposed to be longer, as it feels like i lose momentum, also, i often get distracted in the middle of writing and lose my thoughts hahah

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

It depends imo, whole dialogue in another language can rip one out of the vibe, but bits and pieces if done correctly can hint at the personality of the character. esp if one considers how people do that too (i loveee using random english words while speaking other languages)

19. First fandom you wrote in?

naruto o7 ive got a track record worth years atp

20. Favorite fic you've written?

in terms of the overall writing, i like 'two birds' a lot bc the foreshadowing was real hahaha, but also the way i used rhetorical figures and stuff plotwise i like drowning in you, bc it was so self-indulgend and very soft

[gogomeaty]

the hierophant + death + the tower!

Tarot questions

the hierophant: do you believe in ghosts?

I do belive in them but i never had any paranormal experience like happening to me. But i have a somewhat funny story from when I was in middle school.

This may sound crazy or not too much really now thinking about it but my middle school best friend used to "see" ghost and she always told me what they were doing, I knew their names and everything like if the 6 of them were real people I could only knew from her. It was like this for 3/4 years so my other friend who also knew about them and me became friends with the ghosts and now like i know it was probably all made up from her but i really have appreciation of the 6 of them jsjsksjsjka, specifically the little boy who "collected" pesetas for me and now whenever I see the pesetas it remind me of him.

Also the ghosts supposedly used to follow my other friend and me when we went home, we made plans for who would go with who and everything lmao. But what is funny is one time two of them went back home with me and I went to the kitchen but when i came back to my room everything was messed up and the window suddenly was open and it leave me very like "???" but then i remember about the ghosts and i was like "ah yeah" and continue with my day like if nothing happened jsjssjsks. I don't talk with said friend anymore and at this day i don't know what was all that but like i said I had appreciation for the ghosts so i like to think they were real....

probablemente eran amigos que se hizo por tanto trauma o qué se yo pero taba chiquillo y le creí x literalmente a veces las conversaciones solo trataban sobre ellos y lo que estaban haciendo mientras estábamos en clases, ya en prepa casi no los mencionaba así que no sé /shrugs

death: what are three things you want to do before you die?

☆ I know it is probably so corny and typical, but having a bf or gf in real life because I want to know what it feels to be in a relationship; a good and healthy relationship. Because I have had bfs before online and I don't have anything against online dating I like it and if the opportunity presents again i would not though of it too much but those relationships were not good at all so yeah.

A good and healthy relationship would be the first thing.

☆ Then it would be traveling to somewhere outside México and not USA, I want to go beyond that but I don't know exactly to where, probably Greece or Spain to meet the family I have there idk.

☆ And for the last thing would be doing all the thing I have never done before because of fear or shyness like cosplaying or singing like seriously in front of my family on a special event or something, i probably have more but i don't have anything in mind rn sorry jsjsk.

the tower: favorite colors to wear?

I wear black almost like 24/7 but i also love green (i only have one green outfit) and I want to have browns outfits but i haven't found anything ☹️

[cowboydisaster]

My top ten Lord Huron songs and why:

I know what you're thinking: Bea, nobody asked for this!! you are correct 😌 but I can't stop listening to music 24/7, and this band lives rent-free in my head. I genuinely cannot get their lyrics out of my mind. Anyway, please feel free to go in my inbox to ask or tell me more about Lord Huron cause I'm obsessed!

10. She Lit a Fire

favorite lines: "I'll search the world until there's no place left to go And if she leaves it, I will follow" and "When last I saw her she was dancing all alone"

why: I love how upbeat this song is and I love the lyrics, it's so romantic

9. The Ghost on the Shore

favorite line: "Lie where I land, let my bones turn to sand I was born on the lake and I don't want to leave it"

why: this song is just really beautiful, I find it very calming when it's not making me cry lol.

8. I Lied

favorite lines: "I bore a flame that burned a thousand suns for you, but it died" and "Told you I could never live without your love, but I lied."

why: I love love love the storyline to this song, and the back and forth. It's such a bittersweet ending to a love story.

7. When the Night is Over

favorite lines: "I feel the weather change, I hear the river say your name" and "Am I lost inside my mind? There's an emerald in the sky"

why: I used to listen to this song every day when I was driving to work and it's become such a habit that I'm obsessed with it now. also it's one of the only songs I've listened to from this album.

6. Love Like Ghosts

favorite line: "All the spirits that I know I saw, do you see no ghosts in me at all?" or "Haunted spirits that I know I saw, do they see no ghosts in me at all?"

!!they are listed as different on multiple lyric sites so idk!!

why: this is one of the first Lord Huron songs I ever heard, so there's some nostalgia here. Also love what's going on between "Love like Ghosts" and "Meet Me in the Woods"

5. Meet Me in the City

favorite line: "Am I not the one you're dreaming of, my angel?"

why: this song makes me want to have a sneaky link in the city, it's dangerous for my mania 💀It's so so good, I love the slower, seductive vibe to it.

4. Mine Forever

favorite lines: "I'm much too young to die So long, good luck, goodbye" and "We will always be together In my mind, you're mine forever"

why: I love the story that goes with this song and it's SO good. I can't explain it because I don't know anything about music. is it the melody?? The chorus?? idk it's great.

3. What Do it Mean?

favorite lines: "Gonna fly through my life 'til ai crash into the ending" and "What does it mean if it all means nothing?"

why: I listen to this song when im having existential crises, which is far too often for my own good! but! it's a great song nontheless.

2. Setting Sun

favorite lines: "I'm fond a' living but I woulda given it all for the girl I love" and "Oh, well is he ready to die for you baby? Now that you know I was."

why: Need I explain? This song is so fucking good. The jealousy/ the 'if i can't have you, no one can' trope. god-- its so good.

1. Lullaby

favorite lines: "Where have you been darling, What have you done?" and "You were out finding trouble again There's a fire in your eyes, and there's blood on your hands"

why: I absolutely love this song. It's the first Lord Huron song I was ever introduced to and I love everything about it. The lyrics are so beautiful UGH. I named my Arthur X reader fic after this song, and made it a quote on my pinned post. I cry almost every time I listen to it and I don't even know why, it just makes me emotional.

[mysdrymmumbles]

For the character ask: either Arios or Thanikos, please?

Thanikos <3 1: sexuality headcanon bisexual

2: otp don't really have one for him. I think he is currently happy single, but maybe in the future he falls for someone <3

3: brotp Either Arios x Thanikos or Xandria x Thanikos

4: notp uh...don't really have one? I suppose Thanikos x Archon, but I don't ship her with anyone, so that answer feels like cheating >.>

5: first headcanon that pops into my head My first and foremost headcanon, that I sometimes forget is a headcanon: he did not die My next headcanon: His hair is somewhat unruly and sticks out in feathery tufts around his head when he's not wearing a helmet. It is untameable and in times of peace, he looks like her perpetually just rolled out of bed. Sometimes he shaves it all off to 'look more professional'

6: favorite line from this character He has so few in game, I don't really have one. I suppose, "You speak to the Hand."

7: one way in which I relate to this character I, too, do not always think things through and stupidly run into situations that are a bit much for me

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character Nothing, he has never done anything embarrassing ever, and I love him

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Lorge blue cinnamon roll

Arios :D

1: sexuality headcanon sapiosexual

2: otp Telane x Arios. I considered setting him up with Carroll in OaF, but decided against it

3: brotp Eridia x Arios or Adrestes x Arios

4: notp Again, Arios x Archon >.>

5: first headcanon that pops into my head Another hair headcanon: he keeps his a bit longer than most kyrian, and usually keeps it back in a ponytail at the base of his neck.

6: favorite line from this character "Fly with wisdom."

7: one way in which I relate to this character I feel like he would also be a math nerd with me

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character He doesn't really do anything embarrassing imo. That we know of. (he makes sure it doesn't get out; after all, he's the hand of wisdom, not humility ;) )

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Neither? Idk what he would fall under

[tranakin-skywalker]

20 questions for writers

Was tagged by @jaguarys. Thanks for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

14 so far. technically more because I have some orphaned works too

2. What's your total AO3 wordcount?

415,200 0.o

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Star Wars rn (the brainrot is strong). I have some Harry Potter fics that I put a lot of love and work into, but I haven't been able to engage with that fandom for... obvious reasons. I've also written for Bleach, Persona 5, Venom (the movie), Our Flag Means Death, and X-Men

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Enoument (Harry Potter)

Empiricist (Harry Potter)

Cytokinesis (Star Wars)

Star-Birth (Star Wars)

Ouroboros (Harry Potter)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. Sometimes it takes me a while to get around to it, and when the comment is just something like "I loved it" or "great fic" I usually won't because saying thank you over and over again is, idk, kinda weird. Usually when someone writes a really in-depth comment or theorizes or asks questions I'll respond almost immediately. It's a lot easier to reply when it feels like there's a conversation, ya know?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is hard to answer since most of my fics are still wips lol. I'd say as of right now it'd probably be For a Son.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, same problem lmao. Also I don't tend to write happy fics.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not really. I've gotten a few where people would complain about not liking some of the things I did but I wouldn't really call that hate. Just entitlement.

9. Do you write smut?

I've dabbled but I haven't published anything.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nah. I'd be open to it if the inspiration ever struck me though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I've tried it a few times with some friends but we never got far enough to publish anything.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one. I'm open to basically any and every ship as long as I think they way the characters play off each other is interesting and compelling.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sigh. Empiricist. I really do love that fic and had so much fun working on it. But it is... massive. 200k words and I'm only about 1/4 the way through the plot I had. Plus the huge difficulty I have with writing Harry Potter now... I just don't think I'll be able to go back to it any time soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Honestly I have no idea. Apparently I am very good at delivering gut punches? (if anyone wants to tell me what they think my writing strengths are, I'd love to hear it.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. I don't think I'm very good at writing action at all. Also getting to the plot. I tend to get distracted by introspection and character studies and forget to the big plot points lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it works really well when used right. I really like it when you have a pov character who doesn't know the language, and you don't give the reader any translation for what is being said so that they are just as in the dark as the character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Guardians of Ga-Hoole, back before I even knew what fanfic was. (I actually emailed the author to tell her about my silly little story that I had written myself inspired by her books. Apparently Kathryn Lasky didn't know what fanfic was either and was very confused by my email. I was like... 10 maybe?)

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

It changes. Star-Birth is up there because of all the cool things I've done with it and plan to do. Groundwater is probably going to be a close contender though

I can't think of anyone to tag atm but I'd love for any of yall to play and tag me. I wanna see what you're all writing

[rocksandmirrors]

thanks for the tag <3

(also disclaimer: while this is a TOH blog, i've written other stuff as well and will talk about it)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

31 so far, i used to have more but deleted a lot of them (out of shame + during a period where ao3 fics were stolen and reposted on another website and i freaked out about it)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 

136,340 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently a lot of TOH, but i've written for Sanders Sides, Luca and Danganronpa before!! i still want to post a couple unfinished fics from some of these medias

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Pay Attention - Sanders Sides (Virgil x Remus x Janus) (i'm not linking this one fuck you)

Cleanse Us, Acid Rain - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

One More Ride - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

Italicized Oh - The Owl House

Revenge - The Owl House (Gustholomule)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

of course!!! i'm a little slow at it (laziness and forgetfulness is a deadly combo) but i love answering comments as much as i love receiving them <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i struggled to choose, but probably Bat Country. my man Steve's going through some shit rn

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm not 100% sure if that counts, but i was thinking of Lack (not TOH). it's the closest i have to a happy ending imo

8. Do you get hate on fics?

never quite hate, just unwarranted criticism when i was 15 and not looking for that. i don't think the person had malicious intent, but they were still annoying af lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

depends on my mood (and i definitely haven't posted a lot of it), but sometimes i do!! it's either very vanilla and emotional or very kinky, almost no in-between, but in both cases there's a lot more talking than action ahah

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not a very crazy one, but i have a wip of a Steven Universe/The Owl House crossover!! Steven ends up in Gravesfield during his trip throughout the country and meets the Hexsquad, shenanigans ensue <3

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

fortunately no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a while ago, someone translated one of my fics in Spanish!! i can't remember which one tho, i think it was an old Undertale fic from my wattpad but i'm not 100% sure

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, i've had some friends beta-reading old fics but that's as close as it gets to co-written

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

hhhh idk :(( either Gustholomule or Luberto, they're both so silly and i'm weak for young, awkward love

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

way too many, i honestly can't choose

16. What are your writing strengths?

definitely dialogues, i know i'm good at making characters interact, whether it's fluff or good ol' angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

definitely descriptions of... well, basically anything. my english is alright, but sometimes i tend to go "there was [this], it was [that]" ad nauseam and it gets pretty boring. i feel like i can't get people into the setting like i'd want to

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

it's alright if done correctly. i never had the opportunity to use french in one of my fics, but the way i had to ignore bad use of french in random dialogues annoyed the shit out of me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

*sigh* we're really going down that road, are we

my first fandom was Salut Les Geeks, a shitass youtube show a la Ray William Johnson, and i was OBSESSED with the characters (and the whole show in general bc 14 yo me had bad taste). please don't ask me about this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? 

Bat Country again!! i put a lot of effort and love into it (and a tiny bit of projection), and despite the couple mistakes in it, i'm very happy with the result, especially how i portray the characters. plus it's inspired by one of my favorite songs by a7x <3 (that you should definitely check out if you like metal!!)

tagging @secretly-of-course @stars-and-birds @raineadey no pressure tho!!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @marimbles! ♥️ No pressure tags: @litfeathers @lollytea @ashanimus @greyhavenisback @princecharmingwinks @tails89 @nutellarghh @ash-mcj @childlikegoblinqueen @daydreams-and-honeybees @avatarmerida @asarcasticwitch @sailahina @secretly-of-course @sapphic--kiwi @haystarlight @zyrafowe-sny @peachytea04 @slightecho

1. How many works do you have on AO3? just hit 100 last month!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 479,814

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've dabbled in quite a few over the years, but the ones I've written the most fics for are doctor who (eleven/amy) teen wolf (sterek) and the owl house (huntlow)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found (teen wolf | sterek) You Always Want What You're Running From (sleepy hollow | ichabbie) What To Do When Your Emotionally Constipated Werewolf Boyfriend Gets Cursed By A Witch: A Guide (teen wolf | sterek) Gold Rush (the owl house | huntlow) Lovesick (the owl house | huntlow) 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! Every kind comment means so much to me, so I always take the time to respond to all of them (though I'm not always great at getting to them on time.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm probably The Courtesan and the Writer (doctor who | eleven/amy) I used to dabble in angst a bit more when I first started writing fic, but these days all my fics are pretty much guaranteed to have a happy ending, because real life is hard enough lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all my fics have happy endings, but one of the happiest I wrote would probably be my huntlow college AU Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't call it outright hate, but I have gotten a handful of rude comments over the years (complaining that I don't post often enough, telling me my headcanons are wrong, telling me how they think my story should have ended — one time someone yelled at me in all caps because I said that a character chilled red wine lol that one was wild)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Smut is fun. Mine is typically more focused on the emotional aspect than the physical, is usually the result of a long tension-fueled slow burn buildup, and is usually tooth-rottingly fluffy, soft, and sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have! Back in the days where superwholock plagued tumblr, I wrote one of the silliest cross-overs imaginable, combining doctor who, torchwood, bbc sherlock, supernatural, the avengers, and sleepy hollow: Lords, Gods, and Madmen

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup 🙃

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But most of them never saw the light of day 😂 one that did is called An Eggcellent Morning For Cooking Lessons co-written with @ash-mcj @tails89 and @nutellarghh

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I think my top three ships are reflected in who I've written the most fic for: huntlow, sterek, and the eleventh doctor/amy pond

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Luckily, everything that's posted to AO3 is finished, but at this point I'm thinking I'll probably never get around to writing the little nightmares, reylo, and captain swan WIPs I've had sitting in my drafts since 2019

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I capture the characters really well, which means a lot to me. I've also been told that my writing is cozy and comforting and fills people with warm fuzzy feelings, which is always nice to hear 🥰

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I will sit there and agonize over the same paragraph trying to make it sound perfect instead of just letting the writing flow, so sometimes a fic will be in the works for a very long time until it's finally ready to be posted (by which time I'm probably sick of it and never want to look at it again 😂)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've dabbled in this a little bit, but it's usually been plot-relevant, like a character learning to speak the language (i.e. when Hunter tried to learn Spanish in Being Human.) When I do write in another language, I always do my best to research and try to get the translations as accurate as possible, and I always include the English translation either in the fic itself or as an author's note so readers don't have to break away from my fic to google anything. (And also so that they know what my intention was, on the off-chance I translated something wrong and accidentally wrote something offensive.) 19. First fandom you wrote for?

Does anyone remember that vampire show that came out back in like 2009? Moonlight? Yeah, that one lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? God, that's like asking me to pick my favorite child. Okay fine, it's Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying