#4 got back to me 2 rejected me 2 gave me an interview | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coffee-prince-kyungsoo · 2 years ago

Text

My Monarch Butterfly (1/?)

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

warnings: None

word count: 1.7K

summary: Eddie and reader just chatting, jason being an asshole and robin and reader talkin. Not much :)

(Gif not mine- Credits to owner @gaiath )

AN: I hope you guys enjoy the first part of this story, I don't normally write alot of FF but I couldn't help myself with Eddie Munson existing. Have you seen this man. If you like it, let me know! If you have any recs on what should happen next, be my guest to comment about it! hope you enjoy the first part!!!!

Masterlist | Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 |Part 4

Hawkins high, the most agitating place for anyone who wasn’t a popular cheerleader or basketball player was a breeding ground for the socialites to chat, bond, and even date. HHS had its little clicks and groups. You had the cheerleaders who didn’t really care for anyone outside their little friend groups, which quite frankly was getting pretty old. And of course, you had the jocks. Who quite frankly were the most annoying and obnoxious out of all the groups. Y/N on the hand was one of the only people who didn’t belong to a single group, always floating to different groups. She was what everyone called a kind soul. It didn’t matter who needed help it was always Y/N to reach out and help people. If not, others would approach the timid girl. For her it wasn’t always this easy. Being a Mexican was something that caused a lot of bullying growing up. She always lived in Hawkins but attended a school near Hawkins due to her mother being a 4th grade teacher. Her father had passed away due to cancer when she was only five. She didn’t really remember much of him but had little snippets of him and even dreamed of him. She would cry at times when she thought of her father. Because she couldn’t tell which of her memories was simply that or a dream, they all seemed to blend in. But it mostly sucked for her mother. Her mom Amanda went through a phase where she would barely speak or eat. At eleven, Y/N took care of her mother. They had been living off her dad’s life insurance for the time being after her mom was fired due to not showing up or being completely disinterested when teaching. This all stopped when a family friend got into an argument with Amanda, because of this argument, Amanda had gotten her act together. She applied to different school around their area. After multiple rejections, her last interview she was desperate that she spoke nothing but the truth. Y/N, her child was the reason she needed this job and that she needed to get her life back. The school accepted her on the spot, principal Howards understood her struggles and gave her a chance. That was in sixth grade. Now a senior and just turning eighteen she was able to finally able to semi relax, aside from final exams and deciding to stay in Hawkins or going to college.

“Y/N! Levántate por favor! ¡Se te va a hacer tarde! I won’t drop you off this time if you’re late! I swear to sweet baby Jesus you won’t being going to the mall this weekend if that’s the case! Y/N!”

“Ya voy! I��m brushing my teeth!”

“No me conteste así! Apúrate”

The door slammed shut as Y/N’s mom rushed to her car, her engine could be heard throughout the whole street.

“Jesus, she needs a goddamn exorcist.” Y/N giggled as she was packing up her things getting ready to head out the door.

“I didn’t even answer in a bad way, she wasn’t even gonna hear me in the bathroom with that loud ass vent, right Leo.” Y/N rubbed her cat’s fur and gave him a peck in-between his green eyes. To which he purred.

As she started to bike her way to school, she listened to some classical music. It was something she did know her dad loved; he would often put her to sleep with some Vivaldi, his all time favorite. She was pushed with a gust of wind from a van barreling towards the prison that kept most of Hawkins for four years. It was a hard world. The van was blaring black sabbath, she knew all too well who drove the van, Eddie Munson. She wasn’t going to lie; she did have a small crush on him since middle school. But always pushed those fantasies to the back of her mind due to the age and grade gap. Now it changed when Eddie was help back not once, but twice. She would sometimes dream of him, both being in an embrace or just simply enjoying each other’s company. But she was just being silly.

Eddie was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, simply enjoying his alone time before being berated in the halls of Hawkins high. It didn’t bother him anymore but still, who wanted to hear insults being thrown at them early in the morning. As he was speeding through the almost empty roads, he spotted Y/N on her bicycle with her Walkman. As he sped, he looked at her through the rearview mirror, she had a little smile. Seemed like she was enjoying her alone time as well. Eddie would always see her in the halls. She was always so quiet, seemed to never be late to any class, never spoke in class unless someone asked for help, or if the teacher needed her to answer a problem on the board. Eddie had always thought she was cute. He would never admit it, but he did. Growing up he would see her around the town. He knew her dad passed away. He felt sorry, he knew what it was like to not have your father present. He at least had his uncle Wayne, his father figure, but from what he knew, she didn’t.

You didn’t know when you got on school grounds. You guess it was just muscle memory and the lack of attention you pay when you’re on your way to school. As you got off and started to walk to the bike rack you noticed smoke coming out of Eddie’s car, which wasn’t parked far from where the staff stood. You don’t know how you were able to keep your heart from coming out of your chest but some how you did, it was a complete mystery to you. Three knocks on Eddie’s van window was all it took for Eddie to acknowledge you.

“Hi, just wanted to let you know that the staff is out today and it’s pretty clear that you’re smoking. Just a little heads up.” After a little pause Eddie smiled in your direction. With the number of butterflies fluttering in your body you were surprised you didn’t float off.

“Thanks Y/N, can’t have any write-ups before graduation, can I?” With a simple nod, you walked off to your first class.

“Thanks Y/N, can’t have any write-ups...” God, that was the best I could come up with. Jesus Eds.”

Eddie mocked his response as he lowered his head on the steering wheel. Eddie had gotten his things ready and walked off to class before the first bell.

Eddie walked into his first class of the day, one of the only classes he didn’t have with Y/N.

“Thank you for joining us this fine morning Munson.” Sighed Ms. Wilks.

“Of course your grace, my chariot seemed to be on the slow side today.” Eddie bowed with his arm extended out.

“Obviously, have you seen the piece of junk you drive you freak.”

“Jason…. How does it feel to touch balls all day?”

“Boys enough, or the both of you will stay for detention, Munson to your seat.”

The room seemed to be filled with snickers after the little scene both boys caused.

“Please turn to pag-“

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Johnson wanted me to hand you these papers Ms. Wilks.” Y/N softly spoke after knocking and interrupting Wilks.

“Thank you, can you please set them down in the basket at the back of class please. Okay class, turn to page 36 of the work book and answer..”

As Ms. Wilks continued to give instructions Y/N walked to the back of class to drop the papers in the basket, the basket that was right behind Eddie.

“Hi Y/N, guess today’s your lucky day, you get to see a whole lot of me.”

Y/N lowered her head down and let out a soft giggle.

“Pay attention Eddie, can’t have you getting any write-ups, can we?”

Eddie continued to watch her as she did what she was told. Not aware of a certain pair of eyes looking at the whole interaction.

“Munson, pay attention.”

“Yup no issue Wilks.”

‘Oh my lord baby Jesus, his smile is to die for!’ was all you could think! As you made your way out the class and headed back to your own lecture a small wave made its way to Eddie. The boy couldn’t help but let out a wide grin. You swear on everything you love that this crush was something but puppy love, you didn’t think he could be interested in you, there was no way.

“Thank you for leaving the papers Y/N”

“It’s really nothing sir.” You made your way back to your seat, next to the only person in the school who you could consider to be your only friend. Robin.

“You look…. I don’t know, you just look like you’re happy, but also in a deep thought. Care to share?”

“It’s Eddie, recently we’ve been crossing paths and talking more frequently. For example, when we were at the market, he just came up and started talking to me. We stayed in the same two isles for over an hour, I guess my butterflies are acting up. It’s stupid but- it’s nothing, it’s not like he could be interested in me. Truly I’m just speaking out of craziness.”

“Well, my sweet little sugar plum, you never know. I mean when was the last time anyone was ever approached to have a friendly conversation with Munson, aside from being recruited into hellfire. I’m not gonna say he likes you; I don’t want you to get over excited over something just for me to be wrong, you know? But it doesn’t hurt to keep talking to him.”

“I know, but knowing me, I’ll start to get over attached and get my heart broken over something that would never happen. Plus, maybe he just needs a friend. Not saying his other friends are bad but- I don’t know. I just hate how everyone is so mean to him. He doesn’t deserve that. No one does. Maybe Jason and his pack of idiots and their rude girlfriends, but still, I just wish they weren’t so mean to him. He’s really sweet, well from when we were talking.”

These little heart to hearts was something normal between you two. It was a good thing this was the only time robin knew how to whisper without having the whole class listen in to the whole conversation. It was easy for Y/N but maybe she’ll learn to be outspoken, it was all Robin tried to do after being in a friendship with this girl for years.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x mexican reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction

123 notes · View notes

seokjinsonlyone · 3 years ago

Text

this what i think bts love language is

a/n: this just my thoughts besties i ain’t do no formal type of research or nun just let my lil imagination sprint 🥸🤪

namjoon:

physical affection/words of affirmation

okay so i said physical affection for one bc like he seem to like initiate contact with people around him a lot

like in interviews he be having his hand on whoever next to him thigh or like when he be performing if it’s someone next to him he throws his arms around them a lot

not to mention like whenever jimin or jk or whoever start feeling up on him he never rejects it or makes a face or anything like yoongi does he just accepts it

like there’s so many stage clips where jimin will come and rest his chin on joon’s shoulder and he just lets him

or jk will just start touching on him some way grabbing his arms or sumn and it doesn’t phase him at all

another example is like on day 2 of sowoozoo when tae randomly came and linked arms with him and hobi during mikrokosmos hobi was like 🥴🥴 but joon was just 😌

and then there was that magic shop muster moment when jk was talking about how much he loved joon and how he was his beginning you know as president of the joon fan club does and namjoon couldn’t help but to go over and give his number one admirer a hug you know the moment

same thing with compliments he lowkey be eating them up

like you know how whenever hobi gets complimented he be like “😶 don’t say those things” joon don’t do that

like when they was asked to take their jackets off during the butter shoot and namjoon was like yeah okay and everyone started hyping him up and he was just 💁🏼‍♂️😜

and again on day 2 sowoozoo when he pushed his hair back from his forehead and everyone went OHHHHHSWJJSJS SEXY NAMJOON and then he decided to murder us all by tilting his head back on top of that adding insult to injury i would insert the picture but for my mental health i will not

and again whenever they talk about him being such a great leader he never shies away from it doesn’t cringe always accepts it so you know it must mean a lot for him to hear those things

aside from that tho he’s such a poetic person

like he is definitely involved in an intimate affair with language so there’s no way he wouldn’t appreciate you verbally telling him how he makes you feel

like just think about how many times he’s said he wants to sit down with each army and listen to their story

that being said if this was your man i think you’d definitely have to both show and tell him how you feel

like if he was about to head out for work you definitely got to kiss him before he leaves

and if you on the phone with him the last words you’re saying are i love you

and he’s definitely gonna cherish it each time always gonna have that cute little smile dimples caved in his cheeks bc you love him and he feels it

seokjin:

acts of service/words of affirmation

alright so ngl the reason i said acts of service for seokjin is like almost 100% based on his reaction to tae setting up that birthday event for him where he had his friends send him messages

he talked about it for WEEKS like he was genuinely so moved that i just like he has to love it

and then there’s like how much he bothers jk to like do simple stuff like i’m specifically thinking about that one moment in bon voyage 4 when he was sitting down at the table and called jk to help him up

and then there’s also little things he does for others like when he peeled tae’s tangerines for him or when he offered to feed yoongi bc he was driving or how he always offers bites of his food before even gets a chance to taste it

now i say words of affirmation bc he always searching for a compliment

my minds going to when jk hurt his foot and jin was pushing him in the wheelchair and kept feeding him lines to say about how he was such a good hyung and how he loves him

or in the behind the scenes for the boy with luv video and he kept tryna get tae to compliment him for being witty

and my boy never misses a chance to introduce himself as worldwide handsome

even though he does a lot of those things jokingly there are moments when he’s serious too about giving compliments and shy when he receives them like in those be interviews when he called jk a singing genius and jungkook was talking about how he had the most range and he got all ☺️☺️

or that moment from in the soop when he was comforting yoongi about like not having regrets and when yoongi told him he wanted to be like him just those kinds of moments let me know words are important to him

which just made me remember how hard he tries with his lyrics and how important they are to him like when he was writing awake and he talked about how he kept getting rejected but he was super insistent bc it was important for him to sing the words he wrote and don’t even get me started on moon i just-

anyway jin done said many times he is a man of the present so if you’re with him you gotta actively show/tell him

if you’re at the store pick him up some gummies

if you know he’s got a long day ahead of him maybe pack him some snacks to take with him in the morning

if his hair looks nice tell him

send him messages throughout the day even if he can’t respond immediately

he claims he’s a man of the present but whenever he takes a moment to reminisce the past he’ll look back and know just how much you care about him

yoongi:

quality time/acts of service

listen as much as this man loves spending time alone the time he spends with others means a lot to him

like how he always go fishing with jin even tho he ain’t particularly fond of it

or how like in in the soop he had made plans to play games with jimin and did so extensively

also from in the soop when he had spent most of his day outside reading but then he had heard everyone starting to make the theme song and immediately ran to get his equipment to record and what not

not to mention his poem from the end of that one run episode where they went on like a mini trip or whatever and he was like “what a relief that we have seven members. what a relief that we have each other.”

like being all together is important to him

like i just think about that one scene from one of they movies ion remember which one but they were all gathered around the table and it was when he had told them how he actually hurt his shoulder and they was talking about how they was worried about jk and how he need to come out his room and it’s not even the content of the scene but just like the fact that he ain’t have to be there but he was

and also can’t neglect to mention how he whined for y e a r s about how ain’t nobody come to visit him on set when he was filming the videos for his first mixtape like mans wouldn’t let that go and then how touched he was when they made appearances on his daechwita set even if he couldn’t express it properly

and how he begged for them to make cameos in the video and how happy he was when jin and jk did

and he doesn’t ever forget to mention whenever him and hobi hang out he’s like yeah we went for a drink and dinner and talked and blah blah

he loves it when people make an effort to be around him

now acts of service i got this all on a whim okay like… listen… we all been there we have all watched an ideal type video on youtube don’t lie okay

and up there it be like he want someone to bring him food in the studio and take care of him and stuff like that and in this case the math maths

you really can see that in how he treats others

like just the other day i saw a gifset somewhere and the boys were like yeah yoongi always takes care of us he don’t make eye contact tho

not to mention how he always cooks for them when they go on trips

and even though he ain’t give seokjin his song yet we know it’s coming! eventually!

and whenever they be ganging up on jungkook yoongi always the first one to be like “stooooppp you gon make him cry”

my baby just always be doing little things for others to show he cares okay 🥺

so if you got with my baby you gotta take care of him 🥺🥺🥺

he really needs someone that understands him bc he not gonna say anything

if you’re all hanging out together make sure you’re by his side so he knows you want to be there with him

if he’s busy stuck in his studio drop by even if you just end up laying on the couch he’s gonna appreciate you just being with him

and bring food my baby getting buff he need all the veggies and protein he can get

hoseok:

receiving gifts

i really had to think about this one but once i connected the dots yeah it makes total sense

like he looooves shopping loves getting stuff so when other people give him stuff i know he just 🥰🥰🥰

hobi lights up when he gets gifts they don’t always have to be big but i know he very much appreciates them

like how in the army corner store festa video when asked to bring something meaningful to them he brought those figurines which was the first gift a fan gifted him

which makes me think about how those limited edition figurines dropped and hobi was like i need to get one for namjoon and then namjoon was like i need to get one for hobi and so they ended up with like two of them or something like that

also from festa in the little photo booth mission every time he won a prize he was like yaaasss omg and was thinking of ways to put it to use like when he got that picture frame he immediately stuck them film strips in it he probably got it hanging in his room or in his studio by now tbh

and i think it was on the canada run bts episode where jk bought him those slippers and he was super happy

even when they were in hawaii and him and jin were hungry on the bus and he asked jin for gummies like ofc jin had to get on his nerves first but when he finally gave him his snacks he went from 😐 to 😚

or how he still has that change purse that namjoon bought him in malta (probably still got the money in there too tbh)

speaking of malta got me thinking about how tae went out of his way to win hobi that flamingo bc he said he’d never seen one and when tae gave it to him he went parading it around telling everyone that tae won it for him and then said he was gonna put it in his studio

and he got that chicken leg pillow they gave him from you quiz on the couch in his studio

and i think it was from the 2020 winter package he was so happy when jin bought him those ugly little troll elf things with the hat you know what i’m talking about

and he commented like three times when jungkook drew that picture of him for his birthday

and we know mans be giving gifts too

like how he got yoongi that coffee truck on the set of daechwita

and when they were on the speak yourself tour and he went out shopping on a day off and bought jin a sweater or something

and how he slaved through like 2 or 3 lives making bracelets for the members and then gave it to them on the bang bang con live

and the most devastating one of all when they had to give each other gifts i think it was on the run episode with all the water games but i could be wrong anyway and like most of them gave each other gag gifts like their merch or whatever but hobi gave jimin (and the rest of the members) a cd for his song promise it had a little photo book in it and everything 😭😭😭

so like whoever gets with this fine specimen gon have to throw a few dollars together to make sure this man is kept

not really i’m sure he doesn’t expect you to sell your car for a gucci peacoat or your soul for a rolex

but if you did decide to save up for some time to get him a little extravagant gift i know he’d more than appreciate it

more often than not though it’d be the little things that got to him like if you bought a simple t shirt from the store but then kinda like upcycled it drew little doodles on it wrote “i’m your hope” somewhere on it there would definitely be a picture uploaded of him on weverse or twitter wearing it

or if you decided to compile the pictures of you two together into a scrapbook or something he’d keep it somewhere accessible like in a drawer in his desk in his studio and flip through it with a little smile on his face when he’s missing you

and even if it was something even smaller than that like say he mentioned in passing that like idk he was out of eggs or something and you bought him some he just might marry you

jimin:

physical affection/quality time

the first thing that comes to mind with this for jimin is how he comforts his boys

like there’s so many behind the scenes clips from tour where like jk or tae will be upset with their performance and crying and jimin would be the one to come up behind them and hug them and wipe their tears

same concept for that one moment in bon voyage 3 when they told him that tae was crying and he just kinda hugged him and wiped his tears and hovered around him to make sure he was okay

or when they left hobi at the gas station in bon voyage 4 and then went back to pick him up he still hugged hobi even as he was laughing evilly

also in bon voyage 4 when they went on that helicopter tour and they was on the mountain and him and tae tackled each other and was rolling in the snow

and he is just like always in jk arms like he just jumps on him for no reason like in that video where lee hyun is acting as one of bts’ management

also in the behind from i think when they were practicing for the 2019 bbmas i believe at some point jungkook was holding that man spinning him in circles or sumn like that

and there’s also that one comeback show when him and tae were in the comic book cafe and they were just cuddled up together looking at tae’s phone practicing english i think

and on that one joon live when him and tae crashed and just caused a whole lot of commotion i’m pretty sure at one point they were cuddled on the couch and then jimin told tae his breath stinks and tae proceeded to open his mouth over the air purifier

anyway clearly he is a man with hands

but he also is someone who loves to spend time together it’s important to him

like i just think about how when they had their “break” back in 2019 he talked about how he just traveled the entire time and he went with various friends and family

and i’m pretty sure it was bon voyage 3 when they were doing their friendship trips and trying to make fresh pairings or whatever he was like i don’t think there’s any surprising pairing with me and it’s like… that’s true

like you got minimoni, minimini, jikook etc… all tried tested and true man gets around his band

and he’s the main one who’s always like “yeah bro we should live in the dorms until we’re 50”

and he always talks about how he can’t be alone and how he’s always gotta be doing something with someone

and his lives!!! his lives!!!! when he spends time with us it’s always so intimate and personable

like you can’t tell me that i ain’t have dinner with him and jin after a show in the hotel room and we drank off camera even after the staff told us we couldn’t 😤🤚

there’s also that time he went live and someone said they had some kind of condition and then he took it upon himself to look it up and try to find treatments

just liiiike whenever he goes live every minute counts bro and yes this is me trying to summon him bc we ain’t had a solo jimin live since october and i know they super busy but i miss 😓😓😓

so for this mans i just feel like you just gotta really be with him

just like he makes every second count you have to as well

like he’s gonna want to have your full attention and you’ll definitely have his he’ll be obsessed with you tbh

however he doesn’t always have the time and his schedule definitely isn’t the most accommodating so he’s gonna want someone to put in the effort

but as long as you make sure he knows you’re all in he’ll always meet you halfway

taehyung:

words of affirmation

now this one has been stated explicitly multiple times and he’s admitted it himself

specifically during let’s bts in their segment within the segment and namjoon was like taehyung the kind of person who grows from compliments

and i ain’t even got the right words to express how i feel about the smile he couldn’t help when hobi had them all tell tae that they like him

not to mention the story he told during the festa video last year about how he always tried his very best to get hobi to praise him and how disappointed he was when hobi didn’t get it

and i may be tripping but didn’t like earlier this year he didn’t post on weverse or twitter for like a month or so because he wanted to keep seeing us say how much we miss him???

and in bon voyage season 2 when they had to write letters to each other and he wrote his to jimin and then cried when he read it

there’s also a moment in bon voyage 4 when he and rm were about to sleep in the same space and he asked joon if he could cuddle him and joon was like 🥴🤚 how bout no and tae was like you do like me right? and rm was like yeah of course but let’s not cuddle bro

also in that weverse magazine interview they did he talked about how depressed he got when they weren’t able to perform and he only felt happy for a while when he was able to communicate with us

and in turn he’s very verbally supportive as well

like at that one fan sign they was talking about bon voyage and they asked army which season they liked better 1 or 2 and someone said 1 and taehyung was like “😐 now why would you say that bc namjoon won’t even in that” even though really it was only like 1 or 2 episodes he missed out on

and like he’s always hyping seokjin up like when they were doing the map of the soul 7 comeback live and jin was talking about how he wasn’t a good dancer and taehyung was like 😡 don’t say that bc it’s not true you’re good and you always been good

and in the let’s bts thing again it was important for him to let jimin know that he likes him best like they really are best friends y’all 😭

and when he talks about how much he loves suga’s raps

and that moment in the soop when he set up a date for him and jungkook to talk out whatever tension they had or whatever

and how during those individual be interviews he had hobi flustered when he complimented his passion for music

and he always be saying like the most comforting stuff on weverse letting army know he’s there as a source of comfort at all times even when he can’t be

like this man is literally the creator of borahae meaning that we’ll love and support each other for a long time

so if you get with tae communication is key!!!

you gotta tell him how you feel about him

if you’re out and about and see something that reminds you of him? tell him. if you like his hair that day? tell him. if he does something that pisses you off? tell him. if you miss him? tell him. if you love him? tell him.

like y’all gon talk about everything and nothing at all some days you’ll be discussing aliens and parallel universes other days you’ll be like discussing the future of your relationship

and ya know he a busy man so you not always gon be having long and drawn out heart to hearts so i think he’d love it if you just sent messages throughout the day something that let him know you were thinking of him even if it’s just a picture of a possum you chased down or if you spammed him with tiktoks you thought he’d like

he’d be looking at his phone like 🥰🤳 thinking about how much he loves you

jungkook:

physical affection

now this lil menace right here is touchy

always down for a cuddle

like on the canada episode of run when they were about to pick out rooms and he was like firmly latched onto hobi on the couch while they waited

and when they were practicing home for the magic shop muster and yoongi sat in the arm chair and immediately jk sat in his lap and tae sat in his lap

or how in in the soop after they were done eating he just went and latched onto jin’s back

and how tae had went to go wake jk up that one time and they ended up falling asleep

or how jk had went to wake up jimin that one time and they ended up falling asleep

there was just a lot of jk cuddles going on in in the soop so i’ll move on

let’s talk about the pool water debate run episode where in the end jk decided to latch onto jin’s back yet again

i’ll take this moment to mention the jinkook moment that lives in my head rent free for no valid reason it’s from the life goes on countdown video where they were reading the post cards and he was wearing that big pink sweatshirt and jin was wearing that pink and black bomber jacket and jk just grabbed jin’s arm and held onto it and played with it and when he was done he just threw it away i… i think about that moment a lot there’s an entire section in both my head and heart dedicated to that moment anyway continuing on

i’ll talk about that time they were backstage for a show and they had them blow up mattresses and suga was minding his business resting and jk just rolled up and moved his legs and laid beside him and then hobi decided to pile on top

and whenever they’re on stage he’s always the most delighted when joon would suggest a hug he’d be the first one over there nose scrunched up giggling he loves it

there’s also many instances in interviews and lives where he just can’t keep him hands to himself

just like that last butter live when tae ended up with a crown of forks thanks to mr kook

and he never misses an opportunity to feel up joon

which makes me remember that time he kissed namjoon on the forehead

and he is just always carrying jimin for some reason

so in conclusion… physical affection

and if he was your mans you’d be on the frontlines of receiving all he has to give

not necessarily in public or around a lot of people but in a space where you both were comfortable yes

you’d just have to accept that when you’re standing around he’s going to give you a shoulder/neck/back massage for no particular reason

and he will latch onto you in different positions for extended periods of time

and you gotta do the same! like that’s your man! go give him a hug! a kiss! let him know you love him

cuddle up to him while y’all chilling watching tv

hold his hand while y’all talking

just like grab onto him and never let him go

he’ll be hoping you don’t

1K notes · View notes

accio-victuuri · 3 years ago

Text

cpn: a healthy serving of clownery. 🤡

Happy Friday! It’s time to have some good old cpn fun. well at least to most of us it’s fun. lol. so here you go. none of this is real. I hope you all have a good weekend ahead!

these are just small stuff so chill and enjoy.

1. Eggplant 🍆 - despite the suggestive emoji, it’s not what you think. It’s actually one of those fake rumors posted before that people only realized could be real. In an episode of OOL, Gu Wei was eating and the character actually eats eggplants. We know that GG absolutely hates it and Web is the one who takes it off of his plate ( cause he likes it ).

@9:26 of this video, Web says he only found out that GG hates eggplants ( which is a lie because LHK said Web eats the eggplants GG rejects on set. he knows GG will not eat it. ). GG said he can’t even stand it’s smell.

youtube

The fake rumor was specific, it was during YS ( yusheng = oath of love ) shoot. They heard GG talking to someone and he said:

"Yes I miss you, I want you to help me eat eggplant"

Who could he be talking to? Well probably the same one who ate it for him before. 🦁

I always look at these rumors as coincidence but sometimes it’s just too much. The thing with them is one portion of it could be real but the other is the ‘fanfiction part’. For example, it could be true that I worked on set of Ace Troops and saw GG play with his hoverboard on his bday and that it looks like a gift. Then in comes the ‘fiction’ part where a I will add something like : I heard a staff say it’s from yibo or something like that. we wouldn’t know. So just take it as a sweet story.

2. Fake Vinegar vs True Vinegar - I posted the comparison on this but I wanna talk more and why this is my favorite type of candy. It’s not even a candy, It’s an observation of how a person behaves. A person that i/we spent hours watching. To those who haven’t caught up with OOL, there is a scene where the female protag brings in a “friend” and Gu Wei gets jealous. That’s where the face is coming from. I believe that actors truly take real-life expressions into their work and this is an example of that. Personally, I see the same energy but how Gu Wei did it still had the “cute” factor in it. There was still the “act” , and this is not the bxg in me talking. It was a bit comical like how these kinds of scene goes in “romantic” dramas. You’re supposed to feel for the main character but still laugh at how jealous he is.

Now let’s look:

Ah the variety! but you can ignore everything and just look at that lethal look he got during Happy Camp. A famous bxg candy and this thing just proved we weren’t seeing things. Homeboy was jealous. We understand GG. but still, it’s so scary. No one would ever want to get too close to Bobo. 🙃

3. Li-ning 🤝 Anta - I literally thought this ones were from the same company but it’s not. It features the bro handshake ( lol idk what it’s called ) for their skateboard wear line. Both companies had this type of clothes even before the boys got their titles as brand ambassadors. It’s just a cute coincidence!

4. 💦 - more proof that YBO and XZS are dating! Hahahahahaha! I’m still waiting for vlogs from YBO.

5. Wooyoungmi - this one is a clothing brand from Korea that Web wore before. It’s a coincidence (?) that GG wore the same style for that SELFIE and their Thailand fanmeet. I’m not sure if I remembered correctly, but people were saying in that presscon they were both wearing their own stuff. All the 2019 stuff are coming back with a vengeance! lol.

Wooyoungmi is a South Korean menswear clothing brand launched in Paris by the designer Youngmi Woo in 2002.It is sold through own-brand stores and global retailers. Art and architecture are sources of inspiration for the brand.The brand has become known for tailoring.In 2014, The Korea Herald wrote that “Wooyoungmi has become the most successful Korean independent menswear designer brand.”In 2021, they gave an interview for Vanity Teen magazine talking about their career and their social and political influence.

6. In another episode of deleting stuff on douban - someone posted this on weibo but please don’t spread too much incase some people say we are somehow “antis”. This is not the first time one of them requested to have a topic deleted ( Web allegedly did before ) The topic this time was “Does Xiao Zhan like Yang Zi?” Lol. I mean, I wouldn’t even be surprised that’s gonna pop up since OOL is on air and their cp fans are surely gonna rise. Or people are just curious. However, it was asked to be removed. The message received by the user who created the topic is as follows:

Reason: made a real-name complaint, and the complainant claimed that the content is an example of"Breach of Reputation". If your speech has been controlled by the website many times recently it will be deleted.

Real name complaint, meaning it’s the people involved in the topic/thread. So 50% chance that it’s GG. but if you know GG well enough, it’s logical to assume that he is the one who did this. From Day 1, his team already said to focus on the character.

I’ve also noticed in some little theater videos, GG tends to put his hands in front of him like this. Not sure if this is a Gu Wei habit he developed for the role but for a body language enthusiast like me, this screams ‘i’m keeping my distance’. Lol.

The body language psychology of clasping the hands on the chest considers it to be the expression of resistance. It is also a way for the other party to protect himself. The fear of being hurt by others and adopting a kind of isolation.

Note : it’s just an observation and I don’t encourage further double standard stuff. To be honest, some are really funny but i think we can all agree that it’s unnecessary because boxiao is szd.

That’s all for now. I wanted to add more but I wanted to post this before Friday ends for the other timezones.

#Youtube #bjyx #yizhan #all of this is cpn #clowning and cpn bye

176 notes · View notes

jackoshadows · 2 years ago

Note

I was wondering why they didn't make Sansa queen of the seven kingdoms on the show, why just the north. Even if it is about following some kind of book ending where Bran is king, it's not like they care about the books. This isn't really important, I just think it's funny that not even d&d thought it was a good idea to make her the ruler of everything lol

Because they love the idea of 'Subverting Expectations' and Bran randomly becoming King at the end is the epitome of that. Who would have expected that?! I still remember the lot of us hanging out on Freefolk reddit laughing at the leaked spoilers about the ending and the more that got leaked, the more we rejected it as being nonsense and then we got to the end of the show and yeah... all that nonsense was true.

By the time we got to the end nothing of the plot made sense, characters became supremely stupid, there were no consequences for actions and it was all about spectacle and shock and surprise.

The thing with Benioff and Weiss is that they lacked imagination, they had no interest in the source material. I would go so far as to say they disliked the source material except for some plots (Red Wedding for ex.) and some characters and their love for a character depended on which actor played the character. And by the time they got to the later seasons they were bored, exhausted and wanted to be done with it. They were also egocentric and arrogant, tightly controlled the writing and narrative, were spiteful against actors who gave suggestions based on the books, told actors not to read the books and refused to have a writer's room. Any criticism was ignored as being from 'book purists'. They cut off any discussion with GRRM by season 4.

This led to them not laying the groundwork for King Bran. They didn't care enough for Isaac Hempstead-Wright as an actor. Notice how much praise D&D have in all their interviews for Sophie and Maisie as child actors who grew up on the show and yet have nothing to say about Isaac who was even younger than them?

They were not interested in writing for Isaac as an actor, they ran out of book material for Bran, his story had the most fantasy/magic which they didn't like and his path to King of the 7K is likely through his role in defeating the Others which they didn't care for either.

The difference between how they treated Bran and Sansa is vast. By the end of season 4 they ran out of book material for both these characters. They had the 3 AFfC chapters for Sansa where it's just set up for Sansa's future arc with the Vale Lords and for Bran they had the Hodor plot that GRRM said was going to happen in TWoW.

(talking about the 2013 meeting with D&D) It wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t want to give away my books. It’s not easy to talk about the end of my books. Every character has a different end. I told them who would be on the Iron Throne, and I told them some big twists like Hodor and “hold the door,” and Stannis’s decision to burn his daughter. We didn’t get to everybody by any means. Especially the minor characters, who may have very different endings.

They had Isaac sit out a season instead of writing more for him as a 3ER. They could have done the same for Sansa. We could have rejoined Sansa in season 6 after she takes control of the Vale and then send her and LF to the North if they don't want to hire more actors and do the book Vale plot for her. However, they couldn't ask Sophie Turner to sit out a season like they could do with Isaac. So they wrote in book Jeyne Poole's role for her.

And it’s because of Turner’s strength, Benioff continued, that it made sense to give Sansa a dramatic storyline this season and to use Ramsay’s engagement for that very purpose. In fact, the showrunners first thought about putting Sansa and Ramsay together back when they were writing season 2. “We really wanted Sansa to play a major part this season,” Benioff said. “If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it used a character that’s not in the show.”

And after ignoring the fantasy and magical aspects of the books for 8 seasons and neglecting Bran, they used his 3ER status to make him King. That was Tyrion's argument wasn't it? That making Bran king would be 'breaking the wheel'? It was idiotic because right after he makes that statement and Bran is made king, Sansa demands Northern independence because she's a Stark and gets it. So there is a Stark ruler in the North once again - how is that breaking the wheel?!

This interview after S8 gives you an idea of D&D as writers:

I blame both D&D and GRRM for the nonsense that is the show. GRRM for not finishing the story and D&D for being talentless hacks. However, GRRM is a good writer and if we are getting King Bran in the books, there is going to be set up for it.

Do you use to check the Internet forums in order to see the predictions made by your fans?

I am aware of the principal Internet forums about A Song of Ice and Fire and I really used to look at the American and English groups. Nowadays, the most important site is Westeros, but I started to feel uncomfortable and I thought it would be a better idea not to get to these sides. The fans use to come up with theories; lots of them are just speculative but some of them are in the right way. Before the Internet, one reader could guess the ending you wanna do for your novel, but the other 10.000 wouldn’t know anything and they would be surprised. However, now, those 10.000 people use the Internet and read the right theories. They say: “Oh God, the butler did it!”, to use an example of a mystery novel. Then, you think: “I have to change the ending! The maiden would be the criminal!” To my mind that way is a disaster because if you are doing well you work, the books are full of clues that point to the butler doing it and help you to figure up the butler did it, but if you change the ending to point the maiden, the clues make no sense anymore; they are wrong or are lies, and I am not a liar.

Good story telling is being able to manage to surprise the readers who can then go back and connect the dots to that ending. That is what is meant by subverting expectations. The Red Wedding was shocking and subversive and yet the seeds for it was laid way back in ACoK when Arya listens in to Roose Bolton and Aenys Frey talking strategy. Ned's death in AGoT was foreshadowed at the very beginning with the Stag killing the Direwolf.

For D&D subverting expectations means randomly dumping in endings that make no sense in the context of the story (king Bran, Dany burning down KL etc.). They would have salivated at the prospect of King Bran surprising everyone and instead the audience went WTF?! They wanted to keep GRRM's ending of King Bran on the Iron Throne for their show, then they failed to write anything for the character because they didn't care for the actor or the magical plot he is involved in and finally thought that everyone would love King Bran because it was so subversive.

Just think about this - they upended the entire theme of the books and dispatched of the Others in one episode to refocus back on Cersei and the Iron throne because they loved Lena Headey as Cersei so much.

The theme of the books - When dead men come calling do you think it matters who sits on the Iron Throne. The theme of the show - This existential apocalyptic threat that's an allegory for climate change does not matter, personal power and the Iron throne does.

That's why the show and the books are two entirely different entities and why King Bran does not work at all on the show. D&D's disconnect from the source material and the author meant that they failed to realize this. The show's ending is nihilistic and cynical and the selfish, power hungry characters end up winning. The book's ending is going to be bitter sweet and more hopeful and optimistic with most of the good guys getting a happy ending. And yes, that could include a King Bran that actually makes sense in the context of the story.

#asks

12 notes · View notes

wellhellotragic · 3 years ago

Text

These Wounds Won't Seem to Heal 3/4

Summary: It’s not her fault. She’s still new and doesn’t know. He’s not flawless. Not anymore. He’s got scars, ones she’s seen first hand. Ones she helped tend to. His body is covered in them. There’s a thin red line where he took a bottle to the face during his early beat cop days. There’s another angry red mark on his torso from where he was stabbed with a knife in his ribs. The one where he had his hand slammed in a locker as a teenager has long since faded, only the barest hint remaining, only visible in just the right lighting.

There’s two oval scars now too. One in his stomach and one on his chest. Those are from the worst day of her life.But none of those scars compare to the ones he carries on the inside. The self-inflicted cuts he makes to his soul never quite healing over. He blames himself. It’s not his fault.

There’s a scar on her soul now too. One he left. A piece of her heart forever missing.

Rating: Mature (mostly for language)

A/N: Guy, I suck so hard core. I don't even know how I let so much time lapse between chapter 2 and now, and then to really top off my suck-o-meter, I realized that there's going to have to be a chapter 4 because I can't fix what I've done so easily. Not realistically at least. I promise, and happy ending is coming though, and it won't take me another 8 months to get it up. I hope to have it up and finished by the weekend.

The AO3 version

It’s been a hell of a night. She’s not sure where exactly it falls on her list of worst days ever, but it’s in her top five. It has to be. It’s not the worst, that honor is saved for the night she almost lost Killian, but it’s still up there. She’s spent hours now going through all of the details over and over again with Graham and Lance, her story never changing. Getting poked and prodded by EMTs, despite telling everyone that she’s fine.

She’s not, but they can’t stitch up her insides.

David, her partner, on the other hand has a bullet hole in his leg. Better than his head though.

She’s not even sure if she can fully reconcile everything that happened. She and David were investigating the death of a low profile importer, a nobody, interviewing some dock workers that had found the body. Some gruff looking men who easily blended in with the usual fishmongers and cargo sorters.

But they weren’t. She realized it just a second too late, right before a bag was pulled over her head. She fought like hell, but she was at a disadvantage. From what she heard, David had put up a fight as well, but in the end, it was useless, and she lost consciousness with a sharp blow to the head.

She woke up strapped down to a chair with David the same a few feet beside her. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Jefferson had always given her a bad feeling, but she never actually thought he’d go dirty. She certainly never expected to be facing the wrong side of his department issued sidearm.

Even now, everything is still a blur. Graham assured her it’s the shock, that it’ll fade once the adrenaline wears off; that everything will clear up after a good night's rest. She’s not sure about that though. It’s four in the morning now and the adrenaline seems to be hanging on for dear life still and she knows she's not going to rest any time soon. Humbert offered to drive her home but she declined, choosing to wait for August to finish wrapping up his report.

She’s not sure what time it is when they finally arrive at her apartment. The battery in her cell phone died ages ago. Neither of them even make a move for the fridge, choosing to bypass the beer she keeps stocked for the hard nights. Instead, the two of them move in silence to her room. She plugs in her cell before crawling in bed next to him, like when they were kids in Ingrid’s foster house. She’s not sure who’s comforting who at this point, but she knows that she just needs to be with family.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She doesn’t, but she knows she needs to or it’ll eat her alive. She’s tried that once already and it ended up with her almost having a complete nervous breakdown and a three week leave of absence with daily Archie sessions.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

It’s true. So much has happened in the last twelve hours, there’s no one easy to pinpoint place to begin. So August goes first. He fills in the blanks that he can, so that she might be able to piece together the rest. He tells her about Killian sending him undercover, about Jefferson and missing drugs and money. How Jefferson was helping to conceal evidence that would link Walsh and the Nikko empire to a wide distribution of pixie dust.

Some of it is just speculation, that Jefferson must have figured out they were closing in on him and that’s why he went for Emma, and David was probably just collateral damage. How he most likely picked Emma because he knew how much she meant to him , and while he didn’t say Killian’s name specifically, the implication hung over her like a heavy cloud.

“Before you got there, he told Killian to choose. Between me and David I mean. To pick which one of us would live and which one would die. And then he just started laughing and screaming in this crazed voice that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

It was the single most terrifying thing she’d ever heard. The mania that accompanied it. She already knew that it was going to haunt her for months to come, if not longer.

It’s a real Gracie’s choice. Gracie’s choice Killian. GRACIE’s CHOICE!!!

She felt August shift next to her.

“Gracie was his daughter. She died while he was undercover with a Southie Gang. Killian was undercover with Cruella at the time. It was a freak accident, a gas leak and the house went up in flames, but he was convinced that she was killed by one of the De Vil boys. He told me once that he knew Killian had given him up as a snitch to prove his worth. The De Vil’s had nothing to do with the Southie boys, but he’d twisted it up in his mind. I never thought he’d do anything about it though. It was just crazy drunk venting one night.”

She knows August. Knows that he’s blaming himself for what happened tonight, but she ignores it. Nothing she says will stop him from tormenting himself, and she’s not done.

“I told him to choose David. He has this whole perfect life, you know. An adoring wife and a new baby, all of these people that would miss him if he were gone. I told Killian to save David, and I-” She hates how small she feels when she cries, but she can’t hold back the tears. “He gave me this look. He’s been cold, but this was something different. There was just so much anger in his eyes.”

And that’s when she breaks. Knowing that hated her was one thing, but watching him train his gun on her. Seeing the pure darkness in his eyes. She doesn’t know how to voice it to August, but she knows that if August hadn’t arrived when he did, she knows he would have done as she asked. That he wouldn’t have had to think twice about it. And it’s that knowledge that sliced open the last piece of her heart that had been hanging on by a thread, even after all that time.

August holds her through the tears, until she finally exhausts herself enough to sleep. And so she drifts off, completely unaware of the new voicemail alert waiting for her.

________________________________

The February air is cooler on the water and he kicks himself for not bringing a heavier jacket. It’s been ages since he’s been out on this boat, and time has helped him to forget everything except for the things he wishes he could. Liam always used to tease him, so much so that Killian would reject any offers of warmth from his brother just to prove a point. He wasn’t some silly kid that needed to be minded anymore. He was capable of doing everything on his own, except for bringing an extra coat. He forgot everytime, and today was no exception.

Luckily for Killian, the spare that Liam kept on the boat just for him is still in its place, folded neatly in a small storage locker below deck. It hits him in the gut a little, that Liam could be so right about some things and incredibly wrong about others.

It’s eating Killian alive, not talking to his brother. Not being able to express himself because despite everything Emma has done for him, Liam still doesn’t approve of her. Liam often still thinks of him as the teenage boy, awkward and desperate for approval from anyone that will give it to him, even if it means getting taken advantage of.

He’s not that kid anymore though. He isn’t letting his crush steal his essays and letting her claim this as her own. He isn’t using all of his hard earned money to buy her jewelry that she’s just going to pawn for cash later. He isn’t following after Emma like a lost puppy dog.

He’s in love with her, and he has a sneaking suspicion that she feels the same way. But at this rate, he’s never going to get Liam’s blessing, the only approval he needs anymore.

He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. He really shouldn’t. Not when he and Liam are sitting in a rented dilapidated loft across from an abandoned fabric warehouse waiting for the Canal Street Cutter to emerge. There had been a lot of chatter that morning about where he might be hiding and Liam assembled teams throughout South Boston hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

Emma and August were stationed about eight blocks over. Lance and Arthur were on the edge of South Boston and Waterfront. Other teams were scattered, but too far away to get to if they needed assistance.

Killian had tried to tell Liam that it was a bad idea to spread everyone so thin, but the elder Jones brother had been instant and headstrong as ever. It would have been a career making arrest, and Liam, ever aspiring to be more just wouldn’t let that chance pass him by.

“I just think that you have other obligations that require your attention right now.”

“If this is the bros before hoes speech you can just save it.”

“Killian,” The exasperation evident in his brother's tone, “you know I detest such vile language. It's crude and you are better than that little brother.”

“What obligations?” He has to quash his desire to correct his brother’s description of him.

“I just think that you are meant for so much more in this life and I worry that you gave up so much when you left the narcotics division to follow her into homicide. You were a rising star there and now you’re having to cut your teeth all over again.”

“It’s not as if I’m starting all over. For God’s sake Liam, I just made Lieutenant. But there’s more to life than a job.”

His brother takes his gaze away from the binoculars to turn to Killian.

“Look at father and all of his vices. It strayed him from the path. But you, Killian, you persevered and now everything you've wanted is in your grasp.”

“This isn't the same thing and you know it. Emma isn't some pathetic man’s addiction. Liam, I'm in love with her.”

“Killian,” Liam pauses, taking a deep breath. “She's a distraction. Think of all that you’ve accomplished in the year that you were undercover. You brought down an entire crime syndicate. You did that without her taking your attention away.”

“I didn't bring the De Vil family down because ‘we’ were apart. I did it because we were ‘apart’ and I knew the only way I'd be able to see her again without putting her in harm's way would be to find the evidence and make the arrest.”

“Fine, if you need another reason, have you thought about working directly with her, or even over her in a supervisory position? Have you considered how your personal relationship with a subordinate could affect your judgment?”

“It’s not-”

Liams sees movement in the distance, cutting off Killian’s rebuttal, but his view is obscured so he motions for Killian to follow him, to leave the safety of their little room. They stay silent as they walk downstairs and head out a propped-open door leading to an alleyway. They had to wind through hallways to get from the loft outside and now they’re further away from the warehouse with no cover.

Killian even tries pointing out how visible they are, but Liam shuts him down, determined to close the case. He’s halfway sure that Liam’s trying to prove a point about how Killian can’t be successful and be in a relationship with Emma. He’s seen it before, the way professional jealousy destroys couples. But Emma’s not like that. She wouldn’t see his success as her failure.

They try to skirt the perimeter and he knows he should keep his mouth shut, this just isn’t the time, but he’s just so frustrated that he can’t keep holding it in.

“Please don’t make me choose between you.” It’s an angry whisper, more to himself than anything, and even though he did his best to keep his volume low it’s still enough that Liam’s heard and turns back to him, missing sight of the empty beer bottle at his feet.

The glass battering against the gravel echoes through the night as they both stay silent, waiting to see if they’ve been heard. The air is still around them, and Killian thinks they just might have lucked out.

And then he hears the gunshots ring out.

Liam is on the ground before Killian has time to register what’s happened. He runs to Liam, but gets knocked to the ground before he can get to him. His body hurts and he can see blood covering his hand from where he just touched his abdomen. He’s always heard people say that the shock blocks out the pain, but they must all be liars, because the longer he lays there, the more the pain intensifies.

It takes everything he has to pull himself behind a dumpster, half crawling, half slithering like a snake.

The shock eventually did kick in though, because even to this day he has no memory of radioing in for help. Just the vague memories of Emma leaning over him. The look in her eyes as she tried her best to hold back tears.

The same tears he fought back the night he left Boston, like the coward he was. But Archie was right. He needed to get his head on straight, to distance and center himself. He had to leave, for her.

He’s still wrestling with the guilt. He talked about it with Archie, how she begged him to kill her and save David. And that he actually considered it for about two full seconds. Not because he wanted to, but because he didn’t want her feeling the way he did. The burden of knowing that someone else was dead, and knowing that no matter how good you are, how hard you try, that you’ll never live up to them. He didn’t want her hating herself the way he did. Didn’t want her to destroy herself like he had.

But then something snapped inside of him and rage bubbled up. The audacity of her to beg him to kill her. For her to try and force that decision on him, with no regard to him or his feelings.

It was at that moment that he finally realized what he’d been doing to her ever since Liam had passed away. He finally understood the choice she’d been forced to make that night. And he knew - he knew that despite it all - he could never live with himself if he’d chosen anyone but her. That he couldn’t let her go just like she didn’t with him.

The only thing that saved him was Boothe. In the moments that passed after August arrived, while the two of them tried to wrestle the gun away from Jefferson, he felt the weight of Liam’s death wash over him. And then he heard a shot ring out and there was nothing but panic. Panic and guilt.

It felt as though ages had passed as he searched for Emma in the smoke filled room. The SWAT team had moved in at some point, but he’d been too focused on fighting off Jefferson to notice. He pushed through the sting in his eyes and the tightness of his chest as he looked for her, but all he saw through the haze were armored cops everywhere.

It wasn’t until he was forcibly escorted outside the building that he saw her, saw that she was safe, and then his stomach turned. He ran around a corner away from all of the prying eyes, and for the first time in his career, he gave in and let the night overcome him.

It’s been nearly a year since that night and he’s been running ever since. Some days are better than others. The anger is mostly behind him, but some nights he still wakes up in a sweat clutching his bed sheets, ready to fight. But there’s never anyone around to take a swing at, because he’s all alone. He’s pushed away anyone that ever mattered and isolated himself on that damn boat.

He thinks of Emma, wonders if she’s moved on or not. He’s too cowardly to call her, partly because he has no idea what he will say if she answers, but mostly because he’s terrified that she won’t answer. So he broods. He takes to the local bars as he sails the coastline and drinks a little too much before stumbling back to Liam’s boat alone. It’s a wonder nobody’s robbed him yet for what a careless sot he’s been.

Tonight is one of those nights. He’s made his way down to Florida and back, only a few hours away from Boston, and his demons are screaming again. He’s hoping against all hope that the rum in the tumbler across from him will help quiet them. Just holding the small glass in his fingertips helps a bit. A placebo of sorts. He doesn’t want to be this man anymore though. This pathetic lonely human. He doesn’t want to feel this way anymore, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. Archie said that him realizing it was a good first step but he’s not sure if he agrees. He’s called Archie a lot over the last year. Somehow doing therapy over the phone as the boat sways back and forth under his feet has helped to ease his hesitancy. There’s something about knowing that he can hang up at any time if he wants, and that no one knows. No one will judge him.

They don’t talk about Emma, not in present tense at least. They’ve had conversations about the way he’s treated her in the past, about his complicated feelings for her, the way it’s all shaped him, but they never talk about her now. He’s not sure if it’s because Archie doesn’t know if he’s ready for that, or if Archie knows something that he’s absolutely not ready for.

Archie is here tonight though, the rum is.

He’s still twirling the amber in his hand as he hears the familiar scraping of a nearby barstool against a wooden floor. There’s a scent that follows, a floral perfume that doesn’t match with the musk of the dive bar. He doesn’t look at her directly, doesn’t need to when he can see her from the mirror behind the bar. Her top is low, flashing more skin that it’s covering. She’s closer than he thought.

“Is that for me?” She’s bold.

He’s reminded of those early days on the force, when he wouldn’t even have to talk to a woman. When he could just flash her a smile and she’d be on his arm heading out the door to her place. He’s not that guy though, he’s salty and cynical, and the look he flashes her is closer to a smirk.

“Excuse me?” “Well, you’ve been toying with it for almost twenty minutes. I just thought maybe you were waiting for me to walk into your life.”

Was he this bad at picking up women?

“Look, I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m not in the mood for woman.” “So you’re gay?”

It’s a good thing he hasn’t started drinking yet because he damn well might have chocked otherwise. He doesn’t get a chance to respond though. The bubbly blonde that served him his rum has returned with a spray bottle in hand. “Mary of Mothers. Didn’t I already have you escorted out of here tonight, Teresa?”

“Bite me, Tinkerbelle.”

The girl behind the bar might be all of five foot tall but there’s a beast inside her that towers over any man in that bar and before he knows what’s happening the bartender is drowning the girl in what smells like stainless steel cleaner and the words coming out of her mouth would make any Navy man blush.

The girl ends up running away and Killian isn’t sure what to make of any of it. He’s broken up bar fights before, but he’s never seen anything quite like that.

“Sorry about that. I know this little bar might not seem like much, but it’s all I’ve got and I’ll be damned if I let the likes of her selling her body in here.” “Oh, she wasn’t-” “Trust me, where you had agreed upfront or not, you would have been light whatever cash you have left in that wallet before the night was up. And I’ll bet you dollars to pennies you would have had a lovely little itch or two down there.” She nods her head towards his crotch before switching the subject like she hadn’t just implied the poor woman from before was an STD ridden whore. “So, I haven’t seen you here before. Where you from?”

He’s not sure how she’s disarmed him so quickly, but he finds himself telling her all about himself over the next hour. Business has slowed down and her other barmate seems to be more than capable of handling the few strays still walking in.

She makes him laugh too with her feisty spirit. It’s been far too long since he’s felt at ease like this. They talk and talk. Not about much in particular, just random conversation. She bought the bar about six years ago, and tells him about how it’s let her build the family she always wanted and never really got. She’s carved out her own little place in the world and he envies her that. The way she can just lay her whole life bare to a complete stranger while he can’t even talk to the people that know him best.

The night rolls on and it’s time to close up. He half expects that she’s going to invite him upstairs, to the little apartment she mentioned earlier, but she surprises him. She’s done that a few times tonight, but this one hits him in the gut. “So, what’s her name?”

This time he actually does chock on the water she’s poured for him.” “I’m sorry, what?”

“Killian, in the last few hours, you’ve told me your entire life story, everything from your shitty father to your arrogant brother, your job, your leave of absence, but you haven’t mentioned a girl one single time. You’re holding back, which means there’s something to hold back.”

“You don’t know that. I could be gay.” “Um, ya, I saw you check out Teresa’s rack earlier, definitely not gay. So what’s the deal.” He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he doesn’t want to be rude either. So he gives her as little as possible, but she sees through him. In fact, she actually asks him what the hell he’s waiting for as she pushes him out the door.

He doesn’t really know what he’s waiting for to be honest. He’s wanted to go back to Boston, but there’s just so many threads he left unravelled when he left.

#These Wounds Won't Seem to Heal #Captain Swan #captain swan ff #CS fanfics

24 notes · View notes

hikarimiyanaga · 4 years ago

Text

I'll Always Be Yours (Part 5)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Fifth Song: Dahan (Gently)

You stop trying to fight your stubborn heart. Just wanting to live a lonely life without her.

A/N: Officially completed and I'm starting on my Wanda fic now!!

Might take weeks to finish that one though...

Oh well.

Dialogues that are in parenthesis are spoken in Japanese.

Warning: Angst

No more tears

I won't force it anymore

You are my love

Until eternity

No more listening

My mind is confused

I hope you know

You are the one I love

You hum as you draw. It took you a week until you can finally draw your sketches again. Another week to pick up a paintbrush and actually paint.

It’s been four months since then. Your only missing at least two more paintings so you could open another art exhibit. You hum as you take a sip of your coffee.

“Shouldn’t you stop?” You raise an eyebrow at Silvia.

“That’s your third cup already and it’s only 11 am.” You shrug at her and continue sketching.

“Will the last one be Natasha?” You stop and contemplate Miyuki’s words. You haven’t sketched her since you broke down.

“Most probably.” You’ll probably use one of your older sketches. The ones where the woman you draw was the one you knew. Not Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow and Avenger but just Natalia, the little girl who turned into a gorgeous woman. Natalia whom you loved with your every being.

“Maybe sell it this time?” You frown at Silvia. “You rejected the last offer for the portrait!” You shrug. “It was 20 million!” Miyuki whistles at you and you smile.

“I still don’t want anyone to monopolize her.” Silvia sighs in defeat and Miyuki consoles her.

You start painting her portrait again and you can’t help but smile. You just hope that wherever she is. Whomever she was with. That you’re still holding onto your promise with her. You’ll always be waiting for her. Loving her. You stretch your body as you pause for the day. You really did meant forever.

“Silvia?” Silvia opens your door and peeks inside.

“Yeah?”

“Can you contact Professor Asuna? See if there’s any willing gallery that I can rent for a week?”

“Okay. Got it.”

“Thanks, even though you’re only my bodyguard.”

“It’s called assisting. I do that too.”

“I know!” You chuckle as she closes the door. You open your phone and lay down on the floor. You begin watching videos of the love of your life.

“Natasha.” Nat ignores Clint and stares at her portrait. “Hey.”

“What?”

“There’s a kid that wants to interview you?” Natasha sighs and turns around.

“Why?”

“About the painting, I think.”

“Where?”

“In front of Mona Lisa.”

Natasha approaches the kid who smiles at her.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Colette. A big fan of Master Y/N.”

“Have you met her?” Natasha sits besides the kid and they both look at Mona Lisa.

“Yes. Many times. Through her exhibitions. Never got to buy any of original painting though, just the postcards one.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Just answers.”

“To what?”

“Do you and Master Y/N know each other?”

“Knew.” Natasha answers with a sigh. “Before I became an Avenger, I knew her.” Colette hums.

“To what extent?”

“What?”

“Your relationship? Friends? Lovers? Enemies?”

“Lovers.” Natasha says with a sad smile.

“Ah. I knew it.”

“What do you mean?” Colette shrugs and smiles.

“Do you know that she still loves you?” Natasha gulps and looks at Colette. Colette smiles and gives Natasha an envelope. “It’s all just postcards but you can compare them to your portrait here. The strokes and the color aren’t matching. She must’ve spent days on your portraits and only hours on the landscapes. Granted they’re the ones she sells all the time.”

“She never sells my portraits?” Colette chuckles.

“Never. She said to a buyer once that she doesn’t want anyone to monopolize you. That you’re better taken care of if you’re seen by the world.” Colette bids her goodbye and Natasha looks at the miniature version of your paintings, she goes back to her portrait and her heart stops. Colette was right.

You do still love her. She can’t stop her smile and Clint smiles at her.

“You okay?” Natasha smiles.

“I’m good.”

And if it’s not for me

The love that you offer

Then I won’t hope anymore

To be kissed again

You sigh as Silvia and Miyuki cuddle each other while you were behind them. You insisted on this arrangement so you could deny that you know them. You pay attention to the screen and flinches when Steve appears. He says that warning that every movie theater does before showing the movie itself. You sigh and you look and see that the two are looking at you. You chuck them a piece of your popcorn and they look at the screen.

“The movie was so good!” You yawn as Silvia gushes about the movie.

“Yeah!” Miyuki agrees as you stretch your body.

“Boss? You going back?”

“Yep. You two go on a date or something.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. I’ll go take a nap before painting.”

“How many more days till you finish it?” You grin at them.

“Probably just one more.”

You wake up and see Natasha’s portrait staring down at you. You yawn and smile. Your phone rings and you see that it’s Asuna.

(“Hey.”)

(“You ready for it?”)

(“Yup. I’m just going to have the final one in center.”) Asuna hums.

(“Another portrait of her?”) You look at it and smile.

(“Always.”) After you hang up, you send an email to Tony Stark, confirming his invitation to your new exhibition.

Slowly release

My heart can't resist

Because once you left

It’s been Extremely difficult

You put on your suit and hum at yourself. You clean up nice.

“Is that an appreciative hum for my fashion sense or are you just being narcissistic?” Silvia asks and you roll your eyes. You get out of your room and Asuna smiles at you.

(“Finally. After hours.”)

(“Only an hour. Don’t compare me to you.”) Asuna gasps and Miyuki snickers.

(“Hush, you. Now, come on.”) You smile as you all leave the Ryokan and into your gallery. You laugh as you look around and your new paintings are displayed.

(“Asuna! Thank you! This is amazing!”)

(“On such short notice too.”)

(“Anything for the master. As long as you save me one painting.”)

(“Pick one.”)

(“Wait, seriously?”)

(“Yeah? There are a lot more than the usual so pick one.”)

(“This one then.”) She presents the portrait and you raise an eyebrow.

(“Anything except that one.”) They laugh and you shake your head.

(“This one then.”)

(“Ah. Your hometown?”) Asuna hums and you nod at her.

(“It’s yours. I’ll tell Norah not to auction that one.”)

(“Thank you, Y/N.”) She hugs you and you smile.

(“Okay, then! Two more hours till we open the doors!”) Miyuki shouts and you smile.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Of course.”

“It’s your call.” Natasha hums as she approaches the gallery with Tony.

You smile as visitors gush about your paintings. Exhibitions are still the one thing that you do make an appearance at. You were about to be approached when you see her. Natasha… she’s alone and looking at her portrait. Your heart beats faster and everything seemed to close in on you. FUCK. She’s here. DAMN IT!

“Boss?” Silvia calls out but you don’t hear her. “Y/N?” She shakes you and you finally look at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Air.” You simply answer and Silvia nods. She escorts you out of the gallery and Miyuki follows after.

You clutch your chest as you try to breathe normally.

“In and out, Y/N.” Silvia guides you through your sudden attack.

“Did something trigger it?”

“Not something.” You answer with hoarse voice then drink the water that Silvia gave you. “Someone.”

“Natasha?” You nod in confirmation. “Damn it.” You stop Silvia from going back inside.

“Don’t kick her out. Don’t be rude.”

“Then-“

“I’ll leave. I’ll come back tomorrow.” They nod and you sigh. “Tell them that I got sick or something. Just go.”

“You’ll be okay by yourself?” You nod and bid them goodbye. You walk back to the Ryokan to clear your head.

Natasha looks at the stage where Asuna got a hold of the mic.

(“I’m sorry to announce that Master Y/N cannot be here tonight.”) She hears disappointed murmurs go through the crowd. (“It seems that she suddenly got sick and had to leave early. She did say though that she’ll try her best to be here tomorrow.”) Asuna gives back the mic to the Dj and goes among the crowd again.

Natasha tries to find her and sees that Tony actually got to her first.

“Excuse me, Miss-?”

“Ah. Yuuki. Asuna Yuuki.” Natasha shakes her hand and they nod.

“What exactly happened to Master Y/N?”

“I don’t exactly know. Her bodyguards just told me that she got sick and left early.”

“Is she okay? Did something bad happen? Where is she-?” Tony gets ahold of her arm.

“Okay. Sorry for the sudden barrage miss Yuuki. We’ll be going now.” Tony drags Natasha away from Asuna.

I will not allow it anymore

You hurt me

That again and forget

Our past

Can't you hear

My chest throbbed

It's getting away from you

My feelings

You take a deep breath and fix your suit.

(“You ready, Y/N?”)You nod at Asuna and she opens the doors to your gallery once again. People immediately flock to you. They’re asking how you’re feeling. Some about the paintings. Some about the portrait.

“PEOPLE!” Silvia’s booming voice freeze them and she drags you away from them. (“Stop mobbing the master! She’ll talk to you if she’s feeling any better! Understood?”) They nod simultaneously and Miyuki gives you a glass of water.

“You okay?” You nod and drink the glass in one go.

“You sure about that?” You nod again and give the empty glass back to Miyuki.

“I’m fine now.” You tell them and go to a visitor.

You’ve managed to avoid both Tony and Natasha as you talk to everyone else and it’s the last day of your exhibition.

“Miss Y/LN.” You hum as Tony approaches you. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You’re with miss Romanoff.”

“Ah… do you not like her?” You scoff.

“It’s nothing.”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You sigh and wave your hand.

“As I promised, a million dollars.” He gives you a check and you shake your head.

“No. The exhibition is free for all. Keep it.”

“You sure?” You nod. “Then I’ll just have to bid all of your paintings.” You chuckle.

“And where will you put them?”

“Avengers’ Compound and Stark Industries.” You hum. He bids his goodbye and you smile.

You laugh as Tony bid 5 million on the last painting that Norah auctioned… he just spent 125 million dollars on all of your paintings.

“How about the portrait? A special gift for someone who just got you 125 million?” You go to the stage and Norah gives you the mic.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. But that portrait will be donated, not bought.”

“Come on, Y/LN!” Silvia growls and you put up your hand to stop her. “125 million! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It means everything Mr. Stark. But that woman in those portraits also meant everything to me.” You get off the stage and get something from Miyuki.

“Instead of that, please accept this.” You give him the canvas that is covered.

“And this is?”

“A painting for her. I know she’s with you.”

“She had to leave early tonight because of an emergency mission.” You smile.

“And you can just half all of your bids, I don’t mind.”

“No. You earned those 125 million. Pepper will be happy with these pieces.” You hum.

“Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah?”

“Please tell her not to come looking for me again.” You bid him goodbye and leave.

Tony tried to find you again but he huffs in frustration. You were too good at hiding your own trail. He hoped to find you before Natasha gets back from her mission but as he hears the Quinjet land softly, he knew that he failed. He runs a hand through his hair and look at your paintings.

You really were a master.

#Natasha Romanoff x reader #Marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #Black Widow x Reader #mcu #natasha x you

59 notes · View notes

harryskalechips · 4 years ago

Text

This sucks Part 3

A/N Hiiiiii! Here is part 3! It’s a bit fat but I hope you enjoy 🥰

Word count 5644

Warning: Smut :))))

Part 1, Part 2

Flashback…

Vanilla, warmth, and little giggles were the best things Harry could wake up to and although, he couldn’t have it all the time - at Y/N’s apartment they were always available.

A finger slowly drags itself across his face as he tries to hide his smile. Grazing from his nose to his cheeks to the outline of his soft lips. Muffled laughs fill the room as Y/N tries to wake him up. She bites onto her pillow as she tickles her boyfriend’s face.

“Ouch!” She yelps as her boyfriend caught her finger in his mouth. He opens his eyes to find her beautiful hair sprawled out on the white pillow sheets. The light from her window was shining through her curtains hitting the corner of their bed. He teasingly bites as he sucks on it while his eyes stare innocently at her.

A few seconds later, the wet digit falls from his lips as he moves closer to wrap his arm on his girl. His face finds a comforting position between her shoulder and her neck.

“Waking me up love?” He murmurs as his mouth leaves wet kisses on her shoulder.

“I love tracing your features. Sometimes I forget this real.” She turns over to face him. Her hand tracing his jaw this time. “You’re really pretty you know.”

“I think you’re prettier than me.” Harry leans in to kiss her. His hands gripping onto her waist as he tries to rub himself on her soft legs.

“Not true. You’re the best man that I’ve ever known.” She wasn’t lying. All her past boyfriends didn’t want to treat her right but somehow she found herself in bed with a man who seemed to actually care for her. Her hips involuntary move forward as he sits up a bit to hover over her.

“Someone’s a little excited, don’t you think?” He licks his lips as he takes both of her hands and holds them above her. “Last night wasn’t enough baby?”

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” She glances down as she purposely bites her lip. She then looks up at him innocently. “Harry Jr. seems like he’s begging for more.” He laughs as he turns his head to the side to look at the window.

“We should probably give him what he wants right?”

“Mhm.” He leans down to kiss her as she thrusts her hips forward.

“Fuck baby, look at you.”

Bzzz. Bzzz. ….. Bzzz. Bzzzz…..

Harry pulls away and gets off of her as Y/N sighs. She reaches the side of her nightstand to grab her phone. It’s her alarm. “I have to get ready for class.” She pouts as Harry palms himself.

“Maybe, you should stay in bed a bit longer. I won’t have you for long especially since you’re coming with me back to London next week.” He takes the blanket off of her so he can put it behind his back and throw it onto both of them. “See, now we’re both warm and we can get back to what we were doing.” He attempts to snuggle her. His mouth forming into a smile as he almost feels her body relax back into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby. You may be a pop star but I need to get a degree.” She kisses his lips as she gets up from the bed. Harry watches her as she takes his hoodie from last night and puts it on. “Now, I’m going to make breakfast while you help Harry junior.” She awkwardly makes guns with her fingers as she walks back to open her bedroom door.

“Or you can come here and watch me. Better yet, help me out.” He smirks as he leans forward to pull her back to bed. “Don’t need to make breakfast if I got my meal right here.”

When Harry was younger during his days in One Direction, They took some time in every country to explore a bit. He found himself in this old family vintage store with Niall during their time in Japan of 2013. As they looked at some of the things they sold, he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the little treasures that people forgot about. He was walking through the opposite aisle where his mate was when his eyes caught sight of the red strings that were hooked onto the wall. He didn’t know what they were but his hand couldn’t help but intertwine itself into the strings.

“You like that?” The old lady slowly walks to him as she grips onto the shelves to help herself walk. “That no buy. Therefore decoration.” Harry immediately pulls away as he tries to hide his embarrassed face from her. “You know what it’s about?” She smiles at him as she touches the strings too. “It’s the red thread of fate.” Harry looks at her with a confused facial expression.

“The red string of fate connects two destined lovers together. Regardless of time, place or circumstances… this magical thread…” She struggles to translate her thoughts into English for this young man. “May stretch or tangle but it will never break.”

Ever since that trip, Harry couldn’t forget that myth in that little shop. Maybe, the old lady was bullshitting him but he couldn’t get rid of that thought. The thought of having a soulmate. It was the hopeless romantic side of him that believed his girl was there waiting for him and no matter where he is or what happens… he will find her. Y/N. The girl he met as he was buying coffee close to Columbia Records’ building.

It was an accident when she turned around too quickly to only pour her $5 coffee on him. Being a gentleman he is, he bought her a new cup of coffee as they walked alongside each other to a secluded bench off a trail they found themselves on while at the park.

But as time kept moving forward, his heart began to mend again after feeling death on his shoulders for the past year.

It was now, December but more importantly, it’s been exactly a year since he met her. He could barely survive his tour without her but now that it’s been a long while, he knew too well that nothing could happen. What happened to her being his soulmate? He obviously took her for granted and now she’s gone. All he has left is his beaten up journal with loose papers sticking out as it gathers dust on his piano.

“Should I leave?” A raspy feminine voice interrupts his thoughts as he takes his gaze off his piano and onto the girl wearing his shirt.

“Yeah. Take off my shirt too.” He sips the hot liquid into his mouth as he holds onto the handle of his mug. “Put it in the laundry basket.” He eyes her as she walks back into his room. He had just finished his tour for Fine Line and now that his schedule was free, he had some spare time on his hands. Especially to play around with Eva.

He doesn’t love the girl. No way! but he does get lonely some nights and instead of calling the number he knows by heart, he forces his finger to tap another one.

It doesn’t snow in Los Angeles but Y/N always found herself craving a cup of hot coffee from Blitzers during times like these. It wasn’t the cliche feeling of having a warm cup in her hand as she walked through the snow instead, she used it as her drug. During her time in University, caffeine was the only thing that got her moving. She graduated last June and now she is finding herself nervous as hell after having one of her many interviews at another stupid corporation. She takes her cup from the counter as another name is called.

“Hershell?”

“Sorry to bump into you, love.” A man bumps into her shoulder as he tries to grab his drink while she tries to walk away. He was wearing his shades and the hood of his hoodie was on as he made a perfectly criss-cross tie in the front with the strings. She glanced at him quickly and gave him a nod as she continued walking out of the shop. Was that him?

“Y/N.” The familiar voice calls her out as she turns around to smile at him. Harry held the door for another customer entering and soon let’s go.

“I was wondering if that was you in there.” She eyes the iced coffee in his hands.

“Long time no see.” He walks towards her. As he stood 4 feet from her, he hid his hand in his pocket while he observed her. He truly thought he would never see her after his show in September but somehow the first visit back to this coffee shop, his eyes already caught her figure as she bumped into him… again. Her hair grew longer and it seemed like she dyed the ends. She was holding onto her cup of coffee as she had her purse in another. A pink lip and a business sort of like outfit.

“You graduated right? Where are you working now?” He takes a sip of his cold drink. Luckily, his shades covered his eyes. He was almost embarrassed just by remembering their last encounter. Remember when you begged for her like a pathetic dog and she still rejected you?

“Oh, I’m applying for a couple of jobs. I never knew you still get your drinks here.” Y/N switches the subject quickly. She couldn’t help but feel a bit sad that she wasn’t good enough for any of the businesses here.

“Yeah um, I actually just finished the last leg for my tour this year. I was just craving some coffee after having a meeting from work.”

“Cool.” She bites her lip as she pretends to be in shock after looking at her watch. It wasn’t even working. She hasn’t replaced the batteries in 7 years! “Look H. I have to go. It was nice seeing you.” She was scared to lean in and hug him.

“Alright bye.” He purses his lips as he watches her turn around. “Catch you next time.” What? Why would you say that? You haven’t seen her for 8 months nor do you have her number!

It was weird to see her walk away from him again but this time it was as if those four months of dating meant nothing to them. There were no tears in her eyes or his. Instead, they’re in the busy streets casually bumping into each other and bidding farewell as if they hadn’t cried their hearts out the last time.

“You saw him again and the first thing you do is attempt to cut the conversation short?” Jenna sits in front of Y/N in their booth as they wait for their plates to arrive. “Babe, remember last time we spoke? You missed him.” Her hand takes Y/N’s across the table. They’ve been best friends since the first year of Uni and despite the new stage in their lives, they chose to keep in touch.

“Jenna, he looked good.” Y/N rests her head on the table. She looks up to the girl and pouts. “He had his hood on and his sunglasses but the way he called out for me when he exited the shop…. He’s moved on.”

“First off, you told him to move on. He was crying on his knees begging you to be with him in September. Lastly, what do you mean just by the way he called you out? How do you know he’s over you?”

“I don’t know. He just sounded okay.” Y/N sits up and rests her chin on her hands. “He went through his 7 stages of grief while I chose to just forget about it.”

“Karma is a bitch huh? Now you want him back?” She laughs a bit. “Look Y/N, you can’t let yourself be stubborn your whole life. If you know what you want. Take it. Stop being so scared. Now, Harry’s gone and you lost one of your chances to be in a happy relationship with a great guy.”

“He’s probably with some other girl now.”

“So what? If you can’t have him at least try to keep in your life. He made you happy.” Jenna’s eyes look behind Y/N to see their food coming. “Now let’s eat. I have to tell you all about my desk buddy at work. He’s a total cutie.”

As Y/N was walking the stairs to her apartment, she noticed Jim her landlord standing in front of her door. He was a nice guy. His family lived on the first floor and during the holidays, he would always deliver some homemade curry his wife made while she exchanged her own signature dish for them to enjoy.

“Hey, Jim.” She smiles.

“Hello Y/N, I know it’s late but I wanted to remind you about your bills. I know this whole year has been a struggle but I was hoping you would get a job by now and pay them.”

“I know I’m sorry. I promise I’ll give you my rent for this month just give me an extra few weeks.” She sighs. Don’t misunderstand. She was able to pay her rent every month it just took her a couple of weeks every time to get the money in. Now, that she has student debt and no job, it was more of a struggle. Funny thing is as much Harry adored her homey apartment, he had no idea she was struggling to pay for the place. He just assumed it was school stressing her out but maybe that’s why Y/N needed a reason to take a break from him. It was hard to focus on getting money while your boyfriend just threw money in the air for fun.

She needed a job and she needed one right now.

“Hello?”

“Hey Glenne, I need a favour.”

“Harry, you never know taking this brand deal may do you good.” Jeff parks the car in front of Glenne’s building. He always picked her up from work and today after having lunch with Harry, he decided to bring him on the ride.

“I know but I was thinking of taking a break from the cameras.”

“And write new music? You have a thousand of those in your journal.”

“Anything that was written about Y/N, won’t be recorded for anyone to listen publicly.” He shakes his head as he leans back in the seats. He was sitting in the back since Glenne was obviously going to sit with her boyfriend. But those songs he wrote for Y/N was his only evidence that what happened between them wasn’t a fling. Despite being together for four months, it was intense and real.

“Hey, babe!” Glenne opens the door to sit down and kiss him. “Harry fuck! I didn’t know you were with him.” She turns around to see Harry, confused.

“What’s wrong?” Jeff questions as Glenne looks out her window with anxiety.

“I offered Y/N a ride home. She had an interview with my boss today.” Harry’s eyes widen. Holy shit. Was he going to see Y/N regardless if he went to the coffee shop or not.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jeff looks at Harry then at his girlfriend.

“Why didn’t you tell me you brought H with you!” She was cut off as Y/N opens the back door.

“Hey Je- Oh! Hi Harry.” She smiles and sits down in the car. Glenne can already imagine Y/N choking her the next time they see each other alone.

“Hey Y/N. Sorry, I brought Harry along, we just had lunch together.”

“That’s alright.”

“We’ll drop you home first and then H,” Glenne reassures Y/N as Jeff drives out of the lot.

“Hey.” Harry looks at Y/N. He smiles softly biting his cheek. He was nervous as fuck as he sat very closely to her. She smiles back and decides to talk to Glenne for the rest of the ride.

“Your boss offered me a job.”

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you!” she turns back to smile at her. “You deserve it!”

“Thanks!”

After twenty minutes of driving and catching up, Jeff’s car pulls up to a familiar building Harry and Y/N knew too well. Back when they were dating, he used to cover his face walking into her apartment at night. Now, he stayed in his friend’s car just looking at it.

“Thanks for the ride guys.” Y/N opens the door to get out. “Bye Harry.” She waves at him as she steps out. Harry just looked at her as she closed the door. They watched her step into the building before driving off again.

“Can you stop the car?” Harry blurts out as Jeff waits for the cars to clear so he can turn onto the road and off the property.

“Harry.” Glenne looks at him in pity. “Don’t tell me what I think you’re doing.”

“I have to.”

“You’re right.” Jeff unlocks the doors and glances at his friend. “Go talk to her.”

His heart was beating fast. Faster than ever this past year. “Thanks, mate.” He smiles at the guy who looks at him in surprise. It was Jim who just so happened to be watering the plants in the lobby. Harry opens the door to the stairwell and runs 4 flights of stairs to Y/N’s floor. He would’ve used the elevator but after a whole year, he knew better that it still wouldn’t be fixed.

Knock knock…

Y/N somehow had managed to change in a pair of shorts and a shirt as soon as she came home today. Her plan was to drink a couple of glasses of wine tonight in celebration of finally getting a job.

“Harry?” She opens the door in shock to see him panting. He was wearing his black jeans and a regular band tee.

“Hi, I was thinking if we could talk.”

“Alright come on in.” She opens the door wider for him. He looked around her apartment to see how nothing has changed. It still looked the very same. It still smelled the same. All he was wondering if she has changed.

They sit on the couch as Y/N grabs another wine glass for him. “I know it’s a bit early but I was planning on drinking in celebration of today.”

“I know. Congratulations by the way.”

“Thanks.” She pours him a bit and some for herself. It was just about 5 PM and a little drink wouldn’t hurt. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” He looks at her as he talks a bit more slowly now. It almost seemed like a dream to be here again. “I had to ask Jeff to stop his car so I can be here. I just thought that maybe we should catch up.”

“Oh… true.” she takes a sip of her wine. Was there a possibility that Harry still thought of her. She knew he was too good for her. How could he? He deserves someone better. But she promised herself after walking home from dinner with Jenna, that if this offered ever came up again... she would take it.

“I thought you had a car?” He looked around in the picture frames. He didn’t know what her boyfriend looked like but he wondered if they were still together.

“I actually uh sold it to get some money.” It was true. She had so many part-time jobs as a student that she simply burnt out after graduation. She was exhausted and the only thing she could do to earn a couple of months off was selling her car.

“Oh.” Harry looks at her in pity. “You loved that sedan though.”

“It was shit anyway and it’s not like my mom would give me some money if I even asked.” Harry knew the broken relationship between Y/N and her mother. It wasn’t a surprise that on the plane ride to London, Y/N was too excited to meet his.

“Doesn’t your boyfriend give you rides?” He puts his wine glass down as he sits beside his ex-girlfriend. He likes to befriend his exes especially if they ended on good terms but it never numbs down the pain he felt.

For Y/N, she was different. Maybe he wanted to befriend her but there was obviously that little feeling of wanting her back. Yes, he knows he said he was over her. He said it multiple times as he sat in the seat in front of his bed as Eva slept in his sheets. But somehow, seeing her again made his mind cloudy and his heart itchy. Too selfish and tempted to get back what was once his.

“We broke up in October. He uh cheated on me.”

“What the fuck? Are you okay?” Harry frowns as he sits up a bit more.

“It’s fine.” She laughs as she places her glass back on her table. “I wasn’t that into him. He was way too jealous about things.” Harry raises his eyebrows for her to continue. “He was jealous of you asking me to go backstage.” She confesses as she rolls her eyes.

“Please he would beg to leave the room if he knew what was truly going on in there.” It was screaming and crying and a bit of kissing. The worst nightmare a boyfriend could imagine.

“I know.” she laughs at his comment. “How about you? You have a girlfriend or something?”

“No.” He wasn’t technically lying but… he also kind of was. Eva wasn’t his girlfriend -just a fuck buddy. “Haven’t dated anyone after you.” She smiles at him. Truly the wine was kicking into her but she wasn’t drunk, she just had the confidence she needed.

“I miss you.” she murmurs as she lays her head on the couch staring at him. His lips still looked as soft as ever. He had a bit of facial hair but it honestly turned her on a bit more. She hasn’t had sex since 9 months ago. It wasn’t that Robbie and she didn’t try to do that stuff. They simply just weren’t in that stage of their relationship yet especially, when he was getting it somewhere else.

“I miss you too.” He bites his lip. He never expected Y/N to be this outgoing. He expected they would have a chat, become friends again and leave it there.

She leans in to kiss him as her hands rest on his cheek. She wasn’t going to lie. Kissing him back in September gave her butterflies the same way as it is right now. He ushers her to straddle him as his hands hold onto her waist. She slowly rubs herself on him as he moans, kissing down her neck.

“Baby, I missed this.” He whispers as he pulls himself away from her to only find her lips again. He kissed her with all the passion burning in him. She was moaning, fighting for dominance as their tongues fought back and forth but Harry knew just want to do when she started acting this way. He took his right hand and gripped on her chin to open her mouth a bit wider so he can kiss her more. Her hands rested on his shoulder as she continued to rub herself on him.

“Still a needy girl. Aren’t you love?”

“I just really missed you.”

His hands hold onto the back of her thighs as he carries her off the couch and into her bedroom. Her sheets were different but overall, it still looked the same and that made Harry very happy.

“Why are you smiling?” She takes her mouth off his neck to see him looking at her room.

“I just missed this place.” He throws her on the bed as he pulls off her shorts with her panties. She moves a bit as he takes off his shirt. She almost gasped as she watches his arms flex to pull the tee off of him. She missed his tattoos and his soft chest. The same body she would cuddle as she fell asleep after studying for a fat exam. “Fuck, you look so good.” He licks his lip as he urgently unzips his jeans. He frustratingly pulls at the ends of his pants while balancing himself. Why did he wear jeans today????

Y/N watches him as she takes off her shirt and starts playing with her breast. “You’re taking a bit long there? Don’t you think?” He looks at her with his mouth open in shock.

“Fuck it.” He pulls one last time to get his pants off and fortunately it was a success. He walks on his knees as he approaches her kissing her one more time before dipping his tongue in the center of her chest. His hands playing with her nipples as he slips his tongue lower and lower until they reach her needy core.

“Harry.” She bites her lip as she thrusts her hips forward. He smirks as his lips attach themselves on her thighs, sucking on it and biting on each side. He wanted to leave a mark on her. He needed to.

“Fuck!” She moans as her fingers rest in his hair.

“Tug on it, baby. Let me know you miss me.” He licks her centre greedily as he murmurs against her. He’s trying his best not to rub himself on her sheets but he missed her too much. Her centre was wet… too wet. His fingers were slipping in too easily as he fucked her like that. It almost was too much for her to handle as she sat up and pulled away. “Are you okay?” He licks his fingers and holds on to her thighs. Was she starting to regret this? He needs her back. He wants her back. Why can’t she want the same thing?

“Lay down.” She pants as she moves over so he can lay on the pillows. He rests himself on his elbows as he watches her take him in her mouth.

“Aw baby. Fuck I miss your mouth. You take me so well.” He watches her mouth wet his dick as his chest heaves up and down. His mind was clouded with her. Her only. He forgot everything else in the world as if he wasn’t abusing alcohol earlier this year.

She gags on him as her hands play with his balls. He begins to thrust his hips forward before stopping almost immediately. “Can I fuck your mouth baby.” He groans as she looks at him innocently before nodding. His hand holds her hair into a makeshift ponytail as he thrusts his hips forward and harder. The sound of her choking makes him harder.

“Good girl.” He pulls off her and carries her to where he was laying beforehand. “Let me go get a condom.” He was about to get off the bed when Y/N holds onto his wrist.

“I’m on birth control and if- you haven’t been with anyone for a while maybe we can…” His mouth waters as he leans down to kiss her.

“I’ve been with only one other person and I’ve always used protection.” She couldn’t help but pout at him. Was he seeing someone else at the moment? What were they doing? She began to sit up as Harry shook his head.

“No no, please. I’m not dating her or anything. I’ve only been having sex with her. I love you, please. I need you.”

“Can you not talk about her?” Y/N snaps as she drops her head on the pillow. He leans down to kiss her on the lips before moving his lips to her neck.

“We’ll talk about her later but I’m telling you now -I want you so badly. I’ve been missing for a whole year now and I’ll drop everything for you.”

She closes her eyes as he bites on her earlobe. “Who said anything about me fucking her good? I have never eaten her out. Never left my marks on her. I never pulled her hair and choked her until she cried out of pleasure. Baby, that’s all for you and I’ll make sure after tonight, I’ll have you back in my arms.” He sucks on her nipples as he positions himself and thrusts in her. He takes a deep breath as she continues to close her eyes and scratch his back. He could feel her heart beating fast as he thrusts a bit harder.

“You okay bub?” He kisses her neck as she nods.

“You’re so big and I can fucking feel you in my stomach.” She laughs as she accidentally clenches her walls on him.

“Uh, babe.” He bites her shoulder.

“Sorry, it’s been a while.” He smirks and licks a stripe of her neck.

“Alright, whatever you say. You’re still as tight as I remember.” He smirks at her. “Pussy so good I was heartbroken when you left me.” Y/N rolls her eyes as he continues to thrust into her making her begin to moan louder.

The night carried on as he fucked her and how she fucked him. They couldn’t get enough of each other. They were sure to leave a dent on her wall due to her bed frame bumping into the wall every so often.

But as much as they laid in each other’s arms, they still had an outstanding problem of what they were now. and it wasn’t long until that problem said peek a boo once again.

Happy. Happy Harry was. It’ was just about Christmas and he had a gift in his hand as he walked the stairs towards Y/N’s apartment. Lately, he’s been spending time with her. It was as if those 8 months no longer meant a thing to him. H made sure to visit Y/N during work, drop her off and pick her up. He made sure to cuddle her to sleep and most importantly he called Eva the day after he and Y/N reconnected. He made sure to make things clear-that he no longer wanted to play games with her and that they were over.

Although it made Y/N a bit jealous he was sleeping with a pretty girl when they broke up, Harry made sure to fuck the jealously right out of her so the only thing she could do now was to roll her eyes. She wasn’t mad at him just a bit insecure but Harry reassured her, he only began a fling with Eva in the beginning of November. It was never serious.

“Merry Christmas.” He smiles gleefully as he flashes the small Cartier gift bag to her.

“Harry, that better not be for me.” Her eyes were in shock. He shakes his head and wraps his arm around her waist as he kisses her.

“I love you.”

“I love you too but you shouldn’t give me that.” After meeting Harry’s family and finally started seeing him again, she was scared his family would still think of her as a gold digger. She didn’t want to talk about it with Harry. She was really hurt when she heard that.

“I bought it for you.” He locks the door and takes her wrist as they sit on her couch once again. Y/N had no family members and she was planning on spending Christmas with Glenne and Jeff or maybe Jenna but now Harry is back. Harry had nowhere to go either since he’s been avoiding his family for the past year. Now they decided to just spend Christmas together and catch up.

“Here.” He gives her the bag as she opens it. It was their signature love bracelet with diamonds on each side. Y/N began to cry as she looked at the bracelet.

“Harry…”

“I want you to have it.” He takes the bracelet and puts it on her. “You look so pretty.” He smiles cheekily at her as she wipes her tears away.

“We were supposed to give our gifts later but you’re too excited.” She sits up and picks up a rectangular box underneath the tree. “Here’s yours.”

He kisses her and takes the gift in his hands. As he opens the gift wrapping paper, there were a bunch of papers folded and underneath was a brand new journal that looked exactly like the one resting on his piano.

“Read those letters on your own time!” Y/N’s cheeks turn red. “I bought you a new journal after you desperately ripped papers out of your old one.” She laughs as she plays with her nails. “You need one of those and I thought maybe a new one for the new year. For new beginnings.”

“I love you!” He tucks the notes in his new journal as he leans forward to kiss her a bit more longer. “So much baby, so much. you know I’m not letting you go anymore right?” Y/N smiles as he kisses her nose and her cheeks.

“I love you more H. Now, I have one more request and I was hoping you would allow it to happen.”

“What is it bub?” She grabs his phone beside him and takes it in her hands.

“I was wondering if we could call your family and greet them?” His heart softens as he looks at her. He nods at her without another word as she searches for Anne’s name. The ringing was the only thing heard until Anne’s voice picked up.

“Oh my God, my baby boy!”

and at that moment as Harry watched Y/N smile as he spoke to his mother, he knew he found the one. Y/N wasn’t mad anymore about what happened in London. She wished that trip ended another way but she found the goodness in her heart to let Gemma and Anne’s comments go. She hated the fact that Harry stopped talking to them. She had no family anymore and she doesn’t want Harry to feel that way anymore.

As the call ended, Harry’s eyes were wet as he looked at his phone. He haven’t heard from his mum this past year. And Anne made it clear that she wants to visit them two and make peace with Y/N. Harry became in asshole when he broke up with Camille but for some reason, when he broke up with Y/N, he fell apart. The only thing that Harry was thinking about now was what Anne said to him in the call.

Are you two dating again? You better ask her or she might slip through your fingertips again. She’s a beautiful girl, Harry. I’m sorry about what Gemma and I said. Bless her soul that she encouraged you to call me. I missed you baby, you’ll always be my son.

Harry’s heart was beating fast. This was the problem. He knew he could only spend a few weeks with before this question came up. He was scared to ask her. What happens if they break up again? What happens if she says no?

“What’s wrong H?” She brushes his hair out of his face. Throughout the 10 minute phone call, she sat there listening to them catch up. Harry offered the phone to her but she wanted the mother and child to talk.

“I’m scared uh you might say no but I have a question.” He puts his phone down and takes her hand. “I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend again. I promise you I’ll treat the best I can. I want to make you happy. I want to travel the world with you and just love you.” He squeezes her palm.

“Alright.” She nods before flashing a sweet smile. “I’m your girlfriend again.” Harry’s eyes sparkle as he kisses her and picks her up. He swings her in his arms before carrying her back into her bedroom.

The red string of fate connects two destined lovers together. Regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break.

Y/N was his soul mate because she made him the happiest he could ever be and the saddest too. Despite their relationship starting out once again… this time she was trying and they were both more serious about fighting for each other- they were more confident in their love. No one can break them apart this time… after all, it was a new year.

#harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #Harry Syles #Harry Styles #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #this sucks #blurbs #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles stories #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #Famous!harry #one direction #fine line

450 notes · View notes

noeyeye · 4 years ago

Text

Job hunting update : No make up! No hair down! Male bathroom and male pronounce!

[In pic : Tried all these shirt and trousers today with no make up and hair tied back to look less "Feminine" as what the CEO wants me to do if I start this job. So I did all practice even speaking (manly) in front of mirror. Felt shit yeah]

So it finally happened but unexpectedly with new job came up after all nice interviews in past weeks with many companies but never got called back but finally found an interview that will answer the result after interview sessions.

Which always took 45 mins to 2-3 hours per time with each company, I don't know why this is so extra for me than other candidates. I blamed it to my gender identity where (cishet) companies always gave attention and feel excited to see a "crossing gender human being" that's why it's always new for me especially when you're an ordinary trans in career like normal cis.

I did twice teaching performance and interview for their staff (I applied for a teacher again in my life) then the principal or CEO just decided to give me an interview personally. Now it made sense to me that why all other female candidates just finished off in an hour and go home while I waited from 9 am to 2 pm to finish.

Here to make it short, yes the first team really like me teaching in English but I assumed they cannot decide themselves to / if they should give me a big pass and hire me because of my gender (my first guess) and BINGO its true because the CEO spoke out about it later for second interview personal with other senior. Here's what they said.

" Your teaching is great and energetic and easy to understand BUT"

F*** what about but? (I swore in my head)

Principal continued "You know we have organization culture and as you saw in the news about our school"

(I knew, that homophobia lessons that people talked and criticized over the internet)

"We hope you know that's not true as we don't have anything to discriminate you and we're open more for now " she tried to make it sounded like less judgemental.

"The old cultures if our school is strict and traditional.... BUT you know I really want you to work with us because you're very talented and interesting, we just need you to follow our organization culture like...

I wanted you to dress as a man, saying "Krub" (male pronounce that actually always been spoken after every sentence to make it sound politely like sir and maam but in Thai these kinds of word have gender but depends on the gender of a person who speaks) instead of "Ka" for female speaker.

Now I tried to sell out but strongly show them about my perspective about being a transgender or LGBTIQ, I said "I'm sure some students like me or my gender will need a teacher who understands them and instead of bash them with bad words and turn them into a classroom clown just because they're different, so I sure will do my role to support the community and help them to feel comfortable with who they are. And support them, if you hire me, I'll help this part out for your school to be a better place for everyone and genders"

They seemed not interested or not even give any F. So they give me conditions, told me it I could do it for school, then nothing to worry, I can start my job this Monday as an examination teacher who brief all knowledge in English before students will get ready for official exam for high school kids.

But here what I have to follow :

1. Dress as a man (according to my original birth sex) with options (1) White shirt and black trousers with black leather shoes and ugly enormous school tie - or- (2) Sport / warm up suit / I chose warm up, it's equally Unisex, so not that bad.

2. Tie my hair back (easy I can do it, expecting my hight ponytail betch!)

3. No make up (screaming)

4. Saying Krub (the big part of torturing)

5. Avoid come out of my true identity like when a student asks me I have to tell something else but not "I am a transgender"

5 are enough, I made it professionally and confidently until interview ends (as I always did in many before) "Behave appropriately" they mean.

I cried walking out the room, straight to my car, while walking pass a security and had to lied him I cried because I was happy I got a job, the fact is I was crying because I felt very shit and unfair and unaccepted. Not easy to be a human, more xxxx2 on if you are living in society like this. It's true that this world isn't fair. I seek for better life bit sometimes life isn't easy like that so.. Haha

I told them I need time to think about the conditions (you guys have to understand that here is really hard to get a job after pandemic and since I'm homosexual and out-showed on my appearance, many rejection. So when I have a job comes to me like this I have to be careful and not miss a chance to make money to survive to pay my rent, hormones other things.

I asked if I can start a job at 16th because it's the middle of the month because I might open for other choice next week, if no ones call me I guess I have to take this school job to survive and have money for my rental and expenses.

Let see what will happen.

I did try to dress up with shirt today and tied my hair back with no make up on that pic. I'm super anxious if I look like a man or a freak :/

#Transgender #Trans #Mtf #M2f #LGBT #Transgirl #Transwoman

88 notes · View notes

beastars-takes · 5 years ago

Text

Zootopia Takes: Darker’s Not Better

The Shock Collar Draft

So, it sounds like people are largely positive on me doing some Zootopia posts on this blog, and I wanted to talk about this tweet I saw the other day:

I’ll punt on explaining why Beastars isn’t “Dark Zootopia”--that’s a great topic for another post. But I would like to talk about why this popular yet stridently uninformed tweet is so, so wrong. Why the shock collar draft was not better, actually.

And obviously, I’m not writing several pages in reply to a single tweet--this is a take that’s been around since the movie came out, that the “original version was better.” It’s been wrong the whole time.

Let’s talk about why!

Part 1: “Because Disney”

Let’s start with this--the assumption that the film’s creators wanted to make this shock collar story and “Disney” told them to change it.

That’s not how it works.

I try to keep stuff about me out of these posts as much as possible, but just for a bit of background, I’ve worked in the animation industry for about half a decade. I know people at Disney. I have a reasonable idea of how things are there.

There is this misconception about creative industries that they’re constantly this pitched battle of wills between creative auteurs trying to make incredible art and ignorant corporate suits trying to repress them.

That can happen, especially in dysfunctional studios (and boy could I tell some stories) but Walt Disney Animation Studios is not dysfunctional. It’s one of the most autonomous and well-treated parts of the Disney Company.

The director of Zootopia, Byron Howard, isn’t an edgelord. He made Bolt and Tangled. He knows what his audience is, and he’s responsible enough not to spend a year (and millions of dollars in budget) developing a grimdark Don Bluth story that leadership would never approve. It wouldn’t just be a waste of time--he would be endangering the livelihoods of the hundreds of people working under him. Meanwhile, Disney Animation’s corporate leadership trusts their talent. They don’t generally interfere with story development because they don’t need to. Because they employ people like Byron Howard.

Howard and the other creative leads of Zootopia have said a dozen times, in interviews and documentaries, that they gave up on the shock collar idea because it wasn’t working. They’ve explained their reasoning in detail. Maybe they’re leaving out some of the story, but in general? I believe them.

But Beastars Takes, you say, maybe even if Disney didn’t force them to back away from this darker version, it still would have been better?

Part 2: Why Shock Collars Seem Good

I will say this--I completely sympathize with people who see these storyboards and scenes from earlier versions of the movie and think “this seems amazing.” It does! A lot of these drawings and shots are heartbreakingly good, in isolation.

I love these boards. They make me want to cry. I literally have this drawing framed on my wall. Believe me, I get it.

But the only reason we care this much about this alternative draft of Zootopia is that the Zootopia we got made us love this world and these characters. You know what actually made me cry?

Oh, yeah.

So let’s set aside the astonishing hubris of insisting Zootopia’s story team abandoned the “good” version of the story, when the “bad version” is the most critically-acclaimed Disney animated feature in the past SIXTY YEARS.

“But Beastars Takes!” I hear you say. “Critics are idiots and just because something’s popular doesn’t make it good!”

Fair enough. Let’s talk about why the real movie is better.

Part 3: The Message (it is, in fact, like a jungle sometimes)

This type of thing is always hard to discuss, in the main--a lot of people don’t want to feel criticized or “called out” by the entertainment they consume, and they don’t want to be asked to think about their moral responsibilities. But it’s hard to deny that Zootopia is a movie with a strong point of view. Everything else--the characters, the worldbuilding, the plot, grows out from the movie’s central statement about bias.

And the movie we got, with no shock collars, makes that statement far more effectively.

To dive into the full scope of Zootopia’s worldview and politics (warts and all) would be a whole post on its own, so I’ll just summarize the key point of relevance here:

Zootopia's moral message is that you, the viewer, need to confront your own biases. Not yell at someone else. No matter how much of a good or progressive person you consider yourself to be--if you want to stand against prejudice you have to start with yourself.

That’s a tough sell! For that message to land, we need to see ourselves in the protagonist.

Judy’s a good person! She argues with her dad about foxes. She knows predators aren’t all dangerous. She’s not speciesist. Right?

Ah fuck.

Let’s fast-forward to the pivotal scene of this movie. In an unfortunate but inevitable confluence of circumstances, Judy’s own biases and prejudiced assumptions come out, and she shits the bad.

Nick, who’s already bared his soul to her (against his better instincts), is heartbroken. But not as heartbroken as he is a minute later when he tries to confront her about what she’s said, and she makes this face:

Whaaaat? Come on, Nick. I’m a good person. Why are you giving me a hard time?

People like to complain about this scene. That it’s a hackneyed “misunderstanding” trope that could be easily resolved with a discussion. They’re wrong. Nick tries to have a discussion. She blows him off.

This isn’t Judy acting out of character, this is her character. Someone who identifies as Not A Racist, and hasn’t given the issue any more thought. This is not only completely believable characterization (who hasn’t seen someone react this way when you told them they hurt you?) it’s the film’s central thesis!

Yes, Nick somewhat provokes her into reaching for her “fox spray,” and her own trauma factors in there, but she’s already made her fatal mistake before that happens.

(As an aside, people also make the criticism that the movie unrealistically deflects responsibility for racism onto Bellwether and her plot. It doesn’t. All the key expressions of prejudice in the film--Judy’s encounter with Gideon, her parents’ warnings, the elephant in the ice cream shop, Judy’s early encounters with Bogo, Judy's views on race science--exist largely outside of Bellwether’s influence. She is a demagogue who inflames existing tensions, she didn’t invent them. Bogo literally says “the world has always been broken.”)

So, anyway. But we love Judy. She’s an angel. She also kinda sucks! She’s proudly unprejudiced, and when her own prejudice is pointed out to her she argues and doesn’t take it seriously. This is bad, but it’s also a very human reaction. It’s one most of us have probably been guilty of at one point or another.

Look at Zootopia’s society, too--it’s shiny and cosmopolitan, seemingly idyllic. Anyone can be anything, on paper. But scratch too deep beneath the surface and there’s a lot of pain and resentment here, things nobody respectable would say in public but come out behind closed doors, or among family, when nobody’s watching. It’s entirely recognizable--at least to me, someone who lives in a large liberal city in the United States. Like Byron Howard.

Wow, this place is a paradise!

Wait, what’s a “NIMBY”?

Part 4: Why Shock Collars Are Bad

So, with the film’s conceit established, let’s circle back to the shock collar idea. Like I said, it’s heartbreaking. It’s dramatic. It’s affective.

It also teaches us nothing.

If I see a movie where predator animals are subjected to 24/7 electroshock therapy, I don’t think “wow, this makes me want to think about how I could do better by the people around me.” I think “damn that shit’s crazy lmao. that’d be fucked up if that happened.” At a stretch, it reminds me of something like the Jim Crow era, or the Shoah. You know, stuff in the Past. Stuff we’ve all decided couldn’t ever happen again, so why worry about it?

The directors have said this exact thing, just politely. “It didn’t feel contemporary,” they say in pressers. That’s what it means.

If anything, the shock collar draft reifies the mindset that Zootopia is trying to reject--it shows us that discrimination is blatant, and dramatic, and flagrantly cruel, and impossible to miss.

And...that’s not true. If you only look for bias at its most malicious and evil, you’re going to miss the other 95 percent.

The messaging of this “darker version” is--ironically--less mature, less insightful, less intelligent. Less useful. Darker’s not better.

Part 5: Why Shock Collars Are Still Bad

So what if you don’t care about the message? What if you have no interest in self-reflection, or critical analysis (why are you reading this blog then lmao)? What if you just really want to hear a fun story about talking animals?

Well, this is trickier, because the remaining reasons are pretty subjective and emotional.

The creators have said that the shock collar version didn’t work because the viewers hated the cruel world they’d created. They agreed with Nick--the city was beyond saving. They didn’t want to save it.

The creators have said that Judy was hard to sympathize with, not being able to recognize the shock collars for the obvious cruelty they were.

Fuck you, Judy!

But we haven’t seen the draft copies. We haven’t watched the animatics. We have to take their word for it. Anyone who’s sufficiently invested in this story is going to say “well, I disagree with them.” It doesn’t matter to them that they haven’t seen the draft and the filmmakers have. The movie they’ve imagined is great and nobody is going to convince them otherwise.

But the fact remains that the shock collar movie, as written, did not work. And, if behind the scenes material is to be believed, it continued to not work after months and months of story doctoring.

There’s even been a webcomic made out of the dystopian version of Zootopia. It’s clever and creative and well-written and entertaining and...it kind of falls apart. The creator, after more than a little shit-talk directed at Disney, abandoned the story before reaching the conclusion, but even before then the seams were beginning to show. How do you take a society that’s okay with electrocuting cute animals and bring it to a point of cathartic redemption? You can’t, really. The story doesn’t work.

Does that mean people shouldn’t make fanworks out of the cut material? That they shouldn’t be inspired and excited by it? Hell no. This drawing is cute as hell. The ideas are compelling.

But I suppose what I’d ask of you all is--if you’re weighing the hot takes of art students on Twitter against the explanations of veteran filmmakers, consider that the latter group might actually know what they’re talking about.

See you next time!

#zootopia #zootropolis #zoomania #zootopia takes #judy hopps #nick wilde #disney #chief bogo #byron howard

391 notes · View notes

spaceskam · 4 years ago

Text

The Road You Didn’t Take (7/7)

day 7 of @michaelguerinweek : “I’m only here to establish an... ali-bi.”

Happy bi visibility day!

ao3

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Michael woke up to the feeling of fingers on his jaw, tilting his head towards a pair of lips that kissed his nose and his cheek and eventually his lips when he made a noise to show he was awake.

Alex’s tongue slipped past his lips, bringing him to life nice and slow. If he woke up every morning like this, it would truly be heaven. Alex’s hand dragged over his side and pulled him as close as he could as he kissed him. Michael pressed against him and wanted to never move.

“You gotta get up,” Alex murmured as he broke the kiss. Michael whined, reluctantly opening his eyes. Alex was right there and looking all too beautiful for just having woken up. “You’ve got an interview. Go shower and make yourself look nice, I ordered food.”

“Can’t I just stay here?” Michael pleaded. Alex hummed, his thumb dragging over his bottom lip.

“No,” he said simply, “You need to get ready.”

“You’re a tease,” he complained.

“Mmm, is it teasing if we both know I’ll deliver later?” Alex asked. Michael nearly melted which only earned him two more kisses before Alex patted his hip. "Get up."

It took a lot more effort than he would ever imagine, but he managed to get out of bed and not fall over when he did so. Alex got out of bed much easier and stretched in all his half-naked glory. Yeah, this couldn't be real. There was no fucking way.

"Stop staring and go take a shower!" Alex laughed, "You gotta impress these people so you can get buff like you so desperately want."

Michael dragged himself to the bathroom and found himself smiling so wide that it hurt for no goddamn reason. Well, there was a reason. Because apparently he got to hook up with Alex now. That was something he could do. He didn't know what exactly that meant in the long run or if this was something they were going to keep doing, but he knew Alex promised more and he had an interview and he was on top of the world.

He'd been wanting something better for so long and finally he was getting that something better.

He came out of the shower as quick as possible, still drying himself off as he walked out. Alex was sitting on the desk, sipping coffee and looking at his phone. Michael hadn't seen him have a phone since the moment he stepped in his car on Friday.

"Look, see," Alex said, showing his phone to Michael as he came close. It was an instagram post on a Fever Dream fan account saying that Alex was seen in Mississippi. "Told you."

"That only has, like, 200 likes, did you search your name or something?" Michael laughed.

"I gotta know where they think I am so my band doesn't try to track me down," Alex said, " I left a note saying they could keep the name and their share of the royalties, but I'm not coming back.i still don't trust them to not make it harder."

"I'll keep you hidden," Michael promised. Alex smiled, leaning over to kiss his damp cheek.

"Thank you, but it'll come out eventually. I just need more time, you know?" he said. Michael nodded.

The delivery girl came as Michael texted Isobel good morning and a short promise to tell her about what happened. She sent back a series of emojis that seemed to show how scandalized she was. He just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Alex. He rested his head on his shoulder they ate, refusing to sacrifice any semblance of closeness. Alex didn't seem to mind.

It was easy to be comfortable with him despite it being so new. Very new. He technically just met him two days ago and already he wanted to glue himself to his side. He'd never met anyone that made him feel like that. He refused to give it back.

"You know, if I get this job, I bet they'd be okay with you staying with me," Michael suggested casually. Alex laughed.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I should get an apartment," Alex said. Michael sort of felt like that was a rejection, but he tried really hard not to. "Let's date first."

"Date," Michael repeated, "Going on a date with Alex Manes.That sounds like something teenage me manifested."

"But last night wasn't?" Alex laughed. Michael lifted his head.

"I was never bold enough to ever even consider that might happen. Still processing."

"Let me help you process some more," Alex offered, his fingers pressing into Michael's jaw to pull him in for a kiss. It was more than welcome.

They sat and kissed for a long time, just making out like they had all the time in the world. In some way, they kind of did have all the time in the world. Wasn't that something?

"Alright, let's go so you're not late," Alex said.

They made their way towards the front desk and that same kid was back for his night shift. He paled a little when he saw Alex again, but Alex just smiled slyly and walked right up him.

"We're gonna check out," Alex said. The kid nodded and started to pull up the paper they needed to sign.

"So, where are y'all headed?" he kid asked.

"Florida," Alex answered easily. Michael didn't question him, choosing to stay quiet until they got into the car

"Florida?" Michael asked.

"I'm only here to establish an alibi," Alex stated with a sigh. Michael smiled and shook his head.

"Fair enough."

Alex took his hand again as they followed the GPS directions towards the farm. The closer they got, the more neevous Michael felt, but he tried to hide it as best as he could. He just needed to stay calm. Alex was going to wait at a coffee shop that was a few miles away and look online for an actual hotel to stay at until he found an apartment. They were going to start a life here. A new one where they were happy and unbothered. Or that was the plan.

"You're going to do incredible," Alex promised as the got to the coffee shop. Michael was too nervous to make a comment on whether he believed that or not. Alex grabbed his face and kissed him enough to take away some of it. "Call me when you're done?"

A stupid, giddy smile found Michael's face. "I don't have your phone number."

"Whoops," Alex laughed. He took his phone though and typed it in before giving it back. He gave him another kiss before getting out of the car and going inside. Michael took a deep breath before heading towards the farm.

He was greeted by an older couple who were immediately welcoming. They explained that the heavy lifting was getting a little more difficult in their old age and their son was leaving for college and didn't have plans on coming back to the farm, so they needed someone to help out. He promised he was down for anything and they liked the sound of that. They showed him to the little airstream that was on the far end of the property that even had its own driveway towards the main road. It was small, but it was enough and it would be the first time he had his own space. He wondered if he and Alex could fit in the bed.

They showed him around the farm, the different barns, the different fields, and introduced him to the animals. Anything he wasn't sure how to do, he promised he could learn. Which he could. He'd always been a fast learner. He found himself getting giddy as he pet the cows and got a look at the tractor. It all was so appealing to him. Why hadn't he done this before? He remembered being so deadset on being an agricultural engineer that it hadn't even crossed his mind to do something similar. This felt similar.

Not only did it feel similar, it felt like the start of something new. It felt like he was finally going to be able to be himself. Truly and purely and he was excited.

Damn, it felt good to be excited.

"So when can you start?"

#mgweek20 #guerinweek20 #malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #rnm fic #my fic

56 notes · View notes

hazzascrrls · 3 years ago

Text

I have a daughter?

Summary: Alpha! Harry rejects his mate an omega after mating with her. 3 yrs later he gets to know he has a child..... but that’s not the only surprise he gets.

This idea was inspired by another post.

________________________________

4 yrs ago

Y/N’s POV

Today I had to go down to the mall and get something for my room. As I reached their I went inside a décor shop.

“How can I help you ma’am?” A worker asked

“Well I’m trying to make my room in the theme of Green, White and Brown. Kind of like this” I said and showed him a pic

“Well ma’am the vines are that way” He said and lead me there

As we reached there.

I felt a smell hit me.

Mate

My wolf said

“Mate” I whispered.

My mate turned around and starting looking around and then his eyes landed on me.

Fuck! My mate’s Harry Styles.

He came over to me.

“Mate” He said

Holy Shit! His voice is way deeper in reality.

“Hi” I said and he smiled

“Hi” he said

“Ma’am here are the vines for your room” The worker said coming back from the store room.

“Thank You!” I said

“No problem ma’am” he said and left

“So.... What’s your name?” Harry asked

“Y/N.” I said

“Harry” he said and extended his arm for me to shake

I shook his hand

“Stay here” He said and I nodded

He went back to where he was standing got the blankets he was looking at and came to me.

“Let’s go shall we?” He asked and I smiled

We went over to the cashier and payed for our stuff.

“I would like to take you out on a date” Harry said

“I’d like that” I said and smiled

We exchanged numbers and went home.

_____________________________________

1 year later

“Hey baby!!” I exclaimed as I went inside our home.

That’s right after 6 months of dating Harry asked me to move in with him.

You might think that’s fast.

But we’re mates. It’s not.

“Hey love” Harry said and kissed me.

“Baby” I moaned in the kiss.

Harry pulled away from the kiss and looked at me he rubbed his fingers over his mating mark on my neck and

“I Alpha Harry Edwards Styles of the Cheshire Pack reject Omega Y/N Y/MN Y/LN” He said and my eyes widened

“Harry....” I was about to complete my sentence but then a gut retching pain shot through my entire body.

“AAAHHH!!!!” I screamed and blacked out.

_____________________________________

2 hrs. later

I woke up in a unfamiliar place.

“Where am I ?” I asked the women standing in front of me

“You’re in a hospital love. Do you know what happened?” She asked

“My mate rejected me” I said and my eyes filled with tears

“Oh love, I’m so sorry” She said and came over to hug me

“Who’s your mate?” She asked

“Harry Styles” I said

“Alpha?” She asked and I nodded and she gave me a sympathetic look.

“Love... There is something else you should know” She said and I looked at her

“You’re pregnant” She said and my whole world came crashing down.

_________________________________

9 months later

“Ok Alpha... One last push you can do it. One last push.” The doctor said and I pushed as hard as I could and a crying sound rang through the room.

“She’s here” The doctor said

She cleaned my daughter up and handed her to me

“Scarlett Anne Styles” I said and the nurse wrote it on her birth certificate

“Hey baby.... I’m your mommy and I promise I will never leave you” I said and kissed her forehead

_________________________________

Present time

Scarlett is now 3 years old an Alpha and a total copy of her father.

“Mommy!!!” I heard a small voice cheer

“Hi puppy” I said picking up my daughter

“How was your day?” I asked

“The bestest” She said

Flashback

“What is your team name harry? The interviewer asked

“We are the bestest” He said and I groaned

“That’s not a word” I said and he winked at me and I shook my head

Flashback End

“Mommy?” Scarlett called me

“What happened?” She asked

“Nothing dove” I said and took her to my restaurant.

That’s right I’m a Michelin Star chef.

She had a dance class so I had my beta take her there.

“Hello. How my I help you?” I said

“Reservation for two under Styles” The man said and I looked up

“H-Harry?” I whispered

Erm.. This way” I said and led them to their seats

“MOMMY!!!” A little voice called

“Hey baby” I said and picked her up

“You’re Harry Styles!!” Scarlett exclaimed

“Hey love... What’s your name?” He asked

“Scarlett Anne Styles” She said and my eyes widened

“She’s your child?” The girl Harry came with asked

“There are a lot of people in the world with Styles as their last name” I said

“Slut” She whispered

“I’m not S-L-U-T She is me and my mates daughter but he rejected me before I even knew” I said and ushered Scarlett to Nina

“I have a daughter?” He asked

The girl with him got up and left.....

6 notes · View notes

octopunkmedia · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I hope you don’t mind me asking this but you’ve been open about recently being diagnosed with adult ADHD and as someone who is very seriously considering asking my doctor about it, I was wondering if you’d be able to share a little bit about being diagnosed yourself? I totally understand if you don’t but I just thought I’d ask! (Seriously can’t stop thinking about DE, either, so thank you very much for making it. It’s brilliant.)

Sure! I had an unusually easy experience being diagnosed, as I've heard from others that it can take years. It can also be very expensive - something I have dodged due to the fact that I met my insurance deductible on January 2 when I needed my gallbladder removed.

Basically I went to my primary care doctor and told her I was having a lot of symptoms of ADHD, that I'd gotten worse and worse and it was really getting difficult to live normally. I have read ADHD Alien and a lot of other resources over the years that gave me the verbiage to explain how I think: executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria, hyperfocus.

She interviewed me with a variety of questions. I said yes to eight out of the nine. The only thing I did not ping was "restlessness" - I'm not a fidgety person. However I told her that I am very restless INTERNALLY and have trouble taking breaks or getting to sleep. She didn't really think that counted which....well, I'll get to that in a sec and why that might have been the wrong call, but for now, I have 8/9 symptoms.

The other important thing is, to be diagnosed, you have to have displayed symptoms in childhood. It can't have been something overnight or recent. I'm 28, for reference. At 15 I would stay up all night writing fanfic. At 10 I was obsessively building LEGO versions of the Taj Mahal. I was fifth in my class and as a child, you would call me "precocious" or "an overachiever." Few people at that age suggested I ever could have had ADHD, because in the 90s, that was "bad kid disease." If you weren't obstinate and a poor student, no one would ever suggest you had it. But in hindsight, I absolutely displayed signs of hyperfocus, signs of executive dysfunction (I have never in my life had a clean room, not for one minute), and other symptoms I've definetly lived with all my life.

My doc diagnosed me with ADHD Inattentive, as opposed to ADHD Hyperactive or ADHD Combined. I was prescribed Straterra, a nonstimulant norepinephrine inhibitor. Stimulants like Adderall, Concerta, and Ritalin are usually first line treatments for ADHD, but my doctor is somewhat hippie/holistic and doesn't like prescribing stimulants. Quite frankly they scare me too and are a pain to deal with when it comes to refills because of their controlled substance status, so I was happy to try Straterra first.

Unfortunately, Straterra was less than happy to try me. I lasted 16 days before having to give up, buried under a myriad of side effects - constant feeling of having to pee but not being able to, no appetite to the point of losing 5 lbs in 2 weeks, burning and tingling in my limbs, COMPLETE limb weakness in the 3-4 hours before every new dose, like walking to the kitchen felt like hiking up a hill. And then the most significant one: almost completely losing the ability to sleep. For the first few days I couldn't sleep at all. Eventually I got to where I could sleep 4 hours a night. But that started to wear on me after awhile. It is possible these side effects would have gone away had I stuck with it. But I was too exhausted to find out. I was also too exhausted to find out if it actually worked on my ADHD. I think it did to some degree, as getting back to normal was definitely....I noticed the change. But since Straterra had me so ill I was basically bed ridden, maybe I was just too sick to notice my usual ADHD brain.

I quit the Straterra under my doctor's guidance and have a follow up meeting next week. We will see if she switches to stimulants, if she switches to a treatment like Guanfacine, or if she wants to try a different dose of Straterra. Or if she wants to refer me to a psych for a full workup and maybe see if there's other things going on (potentially anxiety, OCD, etc).

Circling back around to our disagreement on restlessness...if I had to guess right now, I'd say I'm actually ADHD Combined, not Inattentive. The fact that Staterra specifically caused insomnia in me seems to suggest that I may have more symptoms of hyperactivity than I realize or she realized, so maybe other meds will have more success. But all this is weird and tbqh they don't actually understand how some of these meds work. So who knows. I'll continue to be as transparent about it as I can!

Also just because Straterra sucked for me doesn't mean it would for you, so don't let this account make that drug seem scary. I've read plenty of stories of folks having great results, I just pulled the short straw.

#adhd #adhd meds #adhd inattentive

112 notes · View notes

newagesispage · 3 years ago

Text

AUGUST 2021

THE RIB PAGE

Fran Drescher is running for National SAG-AFTRA President with Anthony Rapp as secretary treasurer for Unite for Strength!!! Matthew Modine is running under Membership first with Joely Fisher for Secretary Treasurer. Running in local elections are, among others, Yvette Nicole Brown, Shari Belafonte, Rosie O’Donnell, Jeff Garlin, Ezra Knight, Dule Hill, Camryn Manheim, Sara Rue, Mindy Cohn and Ever Carradine. Sept. 2 is the day!** Frances Fisher filed a suit against SAG-AFTRA over the health care plan but a judge rejected it.

*****

Sha’Carri Richardson’s problem is all our problem. No more drug testing for Mary Jane in this country!

*****

Chuck Schumer finally unveiled the Cannabis administration opportunity act to end Federal prohibition of marijuana.

*****

Dolly Parton used the $10 mil + in royalties from the Whitney Houston version of her song to invest in a black neighborhood in Nashville.

*****

Bob Balaban and Henry Winkler play brothers in The French Dispatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait for October 22!!!!!!!!!!!!** The next Wes Anderson film will star Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Adrien Brody and Tom Hanks. No other details are out there yet.

*****

Trees save lives in heat waves.

*****

TBS will bring us n updated Stupid Pet Tricks with Sarah Silverman.

*****

So much organized religion is based on forgeries, fakes and plundering. Virtually none of it is based on any sort of truth, spiritual or even historical. Just lies to fulfill an agenda and control the masses. And so far it has worked. –Larry Charles

*****

Scarlett Johansen has sued Disney cuz her contract guaranteed a theatrical release only.

*****

An expert on the circus industry recently reached out to me and urged me to not compare Trump and his comeback tour to clowns and the circus, as that is an insult to clowns. –Jim Acosta

*****

Eric Adams has won the Dem primary for Mayor in NY.

*****

Have you seen High on the Hog?? It’s awesome!!

*****

Jeff Flake will be ambassador to Turkey.

*****

Cornell West resigned from Harvard with a scathing letter accusing the school of “intellectual and spirited bankruptcy of deep depths.”

*****

Biden gave a hell of a speech in Philly. He needed to go on more about the filibuster but he was passionate about the For the People act and the John Lewis voting rights advancement act. He roared, “Peddlers of lies are threatening the very foundation of our country.”

*****

Will Celebrity Dating Game continue? I am sure they think romance expert, Michael Bolton is a cute and quirky thing to do but not so much. If it stays, I hope they change the music, at least those final notes. And why are half of the questions, “Who am I?” The show could be cute but they need a little work!!

*****

Jeff Bezos donated $200 mil to the Smithsonian air and space museum.**Feminists everywhere winced when Gayle King was interviewing the Bezos space team. Bezos commented about the 18 year old going with them into space and that he was just worried about the prom at 18. Gayle said “And I was just hoping for a date to the prom.”** But we have to love Wally Funk, the oldest woman to go into space.**Bezos thanked the Amazon employees and customers for paying for his trip. Yikes!** Saw a great sign: Pay fair taxes, end hunger, help people, end poverty, save Earth or fly to space.

*****

Antonio Banderas and Harrison Ford will star in Indiana Jones 5.

*****

Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ashes were laid to rest 5 years after her death.

*****

The Britney conservatorship mess is still going thru the courts, and now topless?

*****

Pope Francis underwent colon surgery which caused him to comment on the need for good health care for all.

*****

Questlove brings us Summer of Soul!!!

*****

Reports show that about 150 people were killed by guns in more than 400 shootings during the 4th.

*****

Has anybody ever built a show around the Tex Watson tapes?? The LAPD apparently liked to deny them but there was a book.

*****

Henry Hall is out with his debut album, Neato, along with a tour.

*****

Do all male law enforcement officers have to be bald now?

*****

Idaho has begun an eradication campaign that could slash the number of gray wolves living in the state by 90%.

*****

Hooray for the monthly child tax credit!!

*****

Release Me 2 from Barbra Streisand is due out August 6.

*****

The look into the Jan. 6 insurrection has begun. Kinzinger and Cheney are in. **Tucker Carlson attacked Harry Dunn, a Capitol officer on air. The man protected Carlson’s son, a House staffer.** On Jan. 5, the Steve Bannon podcast went like this: All Hell is going to break loose tomorrow. Just understand this. It’s gonna be moving. It’s gonna be quick.** Why is mainstream media putting nearly all eggs in the Covid and Olympic baskets and only a few on the insurrection hearing?

*****

Why do so many that call America , “great” seem to hate it?? How can one love this country and not want majority rule, not want democracy??

*****

The Emmy noms are out: Lovecraft Country was nominated even though it has been cancelled. Also hooray for Pose, The Flight attendant and for Conan!! Lead actor is a tough category with Matthew Rhys, Billy Porter and Rege-Jean Page. Aidy Bryant and Jean Smart got lead and supporting noms. I have to route for Ewan McGregor and Anya Taylor-Joy. I am excited for Paul Reiser, Bowen Yang, Evan Peters, Carl Weathers, Renee Elise Golsberry, Dave Chappelle, Helena Bonham Carter and Daniel Levy. There is love for Yvette Nicole Brown, Issa Rae and Maya Rudolph. The Masked Singer got a few noms. The doc category included Tina, Allen V. Farrow and The Bee Gees. Friends: The reunion got 4.

*****

“Voting is not supposed to be easy. That’s what our men died for.”- Jack Finger

*****

Giant Pandas are no longer endangered.

*****

Zalia Avante- Garde is the 93rd Scripps National Spelling Bee Champ.** I’m more impressed by the girl who won the Spelling Bee than the billionaire who went to space. –Mike Jollett.

*****

Why do they have to run erectile dysfunction ads during true crime rape episodes? ** And why do people still say things like, “this just don’t happen here” or “dumped like a piece of trash? “ There have to be other things to say.

*****

Tom Barrack, chairman of the inaugural committee for Trump was arrested for foreign lobbying shenanigans. America first, right?** Wilbur Ross lied to congress about the census and the Trump administration declined to prosecute.** Stephen Calk, bank exec was found guilty of trying to get a WH position by giving Manafort millions in loans.

*****

Jake Ellzey won the Texas special election run off for congress, beating out Trump’s girl Susan Wright.

*****

Every city should have a Peacemobile!!!!!

*****

The Chinese government has been called out for malicious cyber -attacks. Four officials have been indicted in California.

*****

Miracle Workers’ Simon Rich was there when FB was invented and was so creeped out by people using it to stalk women.

*****

There was a story in Rolling Stone about how Eric Clapton threatened to cancel shows if the venue required proof of vaccines. Valerie Bertinelli tweeted: Once a dick, always a dick.

*****

Every Fox news host is vaccinated. –Mikel Jollett

*****

Toyota has dropped out of Olympic ads. Contenders are starting to drop out due to positive Covid tests.

*****

Actor Isaiah Stokes has been indicted for murder.

*****

Lionsgate has bought the rights to Clerks 3.

*****

Ready or not, here come the Olympics.- Harry Shearer

*****

The Cleveland Indians will now be the Cleveland Guardians.

*****

A bust of KKK leader Nathan Bedford Forrest was taken out of the Tennessee capitol.

*****

American Housewife was sold into syndication.

*****

The poorest zip codes include Erie, Pennsylvania, Decatur and the south end of Peoria, il, Canton, Oh, Waterbury, Ct., Bonsecour, Al. and Elpaso, Tx.

*****

Issa Rae married Louis Diame.

*****

The court of appeals disqualified Judge John W. Ouderkirk from the Jolie- Pitt divorce because of a business relationship with Pitt’s attorney.

*****

Joe Manchin owns a coal company.

*****

The Hollywood walk of fame has welcomed Jimmy Smits, Kathie Lee Gifford and 90 year old Marla Gibbs. Terry Crews is next!

*****

Generation after generation of women love the bad boy. Do they never learn? I will never understand, please explain.

*****

Pelosi rejected 2 of the noms to serve on the special committee looking into Jan. 6. Kevin McCarthy withdrew his 5 noms.

*****

The gun that killed Billy the Kid is for sale.

*****

I think you should leave with Tim Robinson on Netflix is hilarious if U get thru the gross. U can’t miss the episode with Clifton Davis and Fred Willard!!

*****

Joaquin Phoenix is trying to get some bears from a traveling show moved to an accredited sanctuary. The Bearadise Ranch in Florida has been cited for, “violating state wildlife laws.”

*****

Go employees Go!! Frito Lay is on strike, Coal miners are on strike and Ride Share drivers are on strike. A good portion of this country should be on strike. The top of the corporate ladder needs to learn! Let those that treat us fair rise to the top.

*****

Who owns Brett Kavanaugh?

*****

A Bishop seeking to deny Biden communion was caught on Grindr.

*****

Gabriel Jagger married Anouk Winzenried.** I don’t know why the Rolling Stones bass player doesn’t just change his name to “not pictured.” –Michael Mckean

*****

Frank Fritz will not be back on American Pickers.

*****

For the first time, astronomers have seen behind a black hole. Einstein predicted the gravitational pull of black holes is so enormous that they warp the very fabric of space. He was right. Scientists have now spotted light which was being emitted by the far side of the black hole.

*****

Look for Heels on Starz.

*****

What is this new screen for Amazon? It sucks.

*****

Biden has signed an executive order to protect infrastructure from cyber- attacks.

*****

Arthur was canceled.

*****

The Kennedy Center has revealed the latest honorees. The 44th class is Justin Diaz, Berry Gordy, Lorne Michaels, Bette Midler and Joni Mitchell and will be held on Dec. 5.

*****

Get well Bob Odenkirk!!!! The fabulous Odenkirk collapsed on the set of Better call Saul from a minor heart attack.

*****

Days alert: We have lost Days of Our Lives first director, Joseph Behar. He will be missed.** Marla Ginns is joining the cast as Paulina’s Mother. ** Is EJ throwing Sami out? Will AJ McLean join the cast? **Rex is back.**Peacock is bringing us a limited series, Days of our Lives: Beyond Salem that will send many couples on romantic vacations and lead to intrigue. Lisa Rinna will star.** Arianna Zucker (Nicole) is set to marry Shawn Christian (former Daniel). He popped the question on Father’s Day.

*****

R.I.P. President Jovenel Moise, Philece Sampler, Robert Downey Sr., Richard Donner, flood victims of Belgium and Germany, Robby Steinhardt, Covid victims, Joseph Behar, Robert Moses, Jackie Mason, Dusty Hill, joey Jordison, Priscilla McMillan, Ron Popeil, Carl Levin, Saginaw Grant and Charles Robinson.

2 notes · View notes

words-for-holland · 4 years ago

Text

The Songs in Our Life: It’s Not a Date

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N & Tom learn more about each other on their night out together...but remember it’s not a date.

Inspired by: I Wanna Know You - Hannah Montana & David Archuleta

Album Description | Track 1 | Track 2 |

Waiting. It’s the action of staying where you are to delaying something until a certain time has come or something happens.

For instance, Y/N and Tom were due for a date at 5:40pm, and the wait was almost unbearable for them. Not that it was ever an official date....but the idea of seeing each other again the very same day brought a feeling of excitement. Something that neither had felt in a very long time. Seconds, minutes, and the remaining hours passed. Y/N had clocked out of work, shoved her laptop in her bag, and made her way down to lobby to meet Tom. As she approached the area, her steps slowed and ultimately stopping in her tracks. Seeing Tom, casually waiting brought a new found feeling. She smiled at him, already thinking about the possibilities of the if’s and’s & wants in her future, but immediately shook out the thought.

“C’mon Y/N it’s way too early to be thinking like this. You haven't even gone on a date with him yet and you're already thinking about a future. Jesus.” Y/N muttered to herself, verbally smacking some common sense into her brain.

As she continued to walk towards Tom, he looked up to meet her eyes and started walking to her direction. “Fancy seeing you here, darling.” he greeted with that boyish smile. He offered his hands, gesturing to allow him to carry her bag, but Y/N simply shook her head and declined the offer. “It’s okay. I got it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course, but would it be okay if we stopped by my apartment to drop this off?” Y/N replied to him. “I really don't want to be carrying this around while I blow your mind with the best food in the city.”

Tom hadn’t replied to Y/N’s question, he was too busy thinking about..well...her. In his mind, he would have been more bold and responded to her question like ‘Aw, here I was hoping you were just going to invite me in to stay there and I can show you a really good time’. Or ‘Nothing blows my mind more than you’.

Instead what came out was “Yeah, sure that’s fine.” he smiled back, mentally slapping himself for not being able to pull off something smoother.

“Okay, let’s go. It’s not that far.” Y/N lead the way, with Tom following behind. There it was. That awkward-but-not-so-awkward tension coming up as the two walked in silence to Y/N’s apartment. Both knew it wasn’t an official date, so why was it hard to just strike a conversation? Y//N and Tom fought with their inner conscious as they tried to figure out how to make the first move. It was then when both Tom and Y/N, took a deep breath and said out loud their questions the same time.

They laughed at their failed attempts to strike a proper conversation, and tried to make it better by saying “You first.” in unison and then “No you.”

Tom gestured to Y/N to speak first. “So how was your press interview? Did you get in trouble for being late?” Y/N asked as they continued to walk the streets of 34th Avenue.

Tom looked at Y/N’s way, recollecting their first meet up. Indeed Tom was extremely late, but if he hadn’t been he wouldn’t be in this position right now with her. “Yeah it went well. I just got in a little bit of trouble, but it’s okay. Sometimes you’ve got to live a little dangerously.” he winked, which made Y/N’s cheeks display the most delicate shade of pink. “What about you? How was work?”

Y/N shrugged at his question. “Can’t complain. Im still new to the company, but the projects are fun and everyone’s welcoming and a pleasure to work with. Just hoping I dont mess it up.”

“Im sure you won’t. You dont seem to be that type.” Tom responds truthfully.

Y/N looks at him and smiles. “Oh? And what type do I seem to be?” She challenges him, but before he could speak, they make it to Y/N’s apartment.

She jiggles the key in and opens the door for Tom, allowing him to enter first. The first thing that catches his eyes are the cream colored walls and soft blue furniture accents. Papers are piled up on a table, and pictures of Y/N with her friends and family placed decoratively on the walls. Candles were lit and the T.V. was softly playing in the background. “Wow...this is really cozy.” Tom reacts, intaking the surrounding. “Though I must say I usually get invited inside the house on the second date.” He laughs at his sorry joke.

Thankfully Y/N’s sense of humor was extremely easy tonplease, and she laughed along with him, playfully hitting his shoulder. “Oh stop, I told you I need to set my stuff down. I —”

“Hey Y/N I was wondering what—” Y/N’s roomate and best friend comes in to the living room seeing a rare sighting of Y/N with a man. “Oh...I didnt know we had company.” She smiles, trying her best to contain her excitement for her best friend.

“Oh right.” Y/N closes her eyes briefly in hopes that her best friend doesnt embarrass her. “Um Tom this is Kaitlyn, she’s my best friend and roomate. Kaitlyn this is Tom H—”

“Believe me. I know who you are.” Kaitlyn smiles widely. “It’s...wow..a surprise really. Nice to meet you.”

“And it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Tom greets back shaking her hand.

“So are you two like...” Kaitlyn gestures as she squiches her hands together. “On a date?”

Both Y/N’s and Tom’s eyes widen, both of their cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. They knew it wasnt such a bad thing to consider, them being on a date and getting romantic. But they just met, neither wanted to risk the chance of screwing it up. “Of course not. I was just planning to show Tom around the city, since he’s not from here.”

Tom would be lying if he said his heart didnt drop just a little, but he wasnt going to let that show. Even though he wanted it to be so much more than a hang out. “Yeah, I figured why not....since we’re friends.” There it goes again..that awkward silence.

“Uh huh. Im sure you both will enjoy your friendly hangout. Y/N knows all the best places to eat.”

“I wouldnt doubt it.” Tom smiles.

“And we should get going...uhh Kaitlyn you’re welcome to join us if you want?” Y/N interjects as she and Tom get ready to go out.

“Oh. It’s fine! You two go out. Im good here.” Kaitlyn rejects and winks at Y/N.

Y/N rolls her eyes as she leads Tom out. Not far from her home, the two make it to Chelea’s Market, where they indulge in all things Italian. From the flavorful pasta, to the fresh steamy focaccia bread that comes right out of the stone oven. It was Y/N’s go-to place to impress anyone visiting. The food was great and the scenery outside was beautiful.

While the food was incredible, Tom’s prescence was where the real magic came to play. She could only imagine what hanging out with a celebrity would be like, but Tom was another story.

She took in how engaged he was with her stories about growing up in a small town in New Jersey with her family, how Kaitlyn and two other friends had stayed together since they were 6, and how her life had felt so barred until she moved here in the city, feeling free for the first time ever.

He was interested in all of it. Tom’s eyes looked at her with endearment, and his smile grew the more he heard about her most heart touching memories, his laugh becoming more robust and joyus when she told him a funny memory. He was falling for her, even though he didnt want to admit it just yet. While he got a good chunk of her life, he wanted to know more.

Y/N on the other hand, wanted to turn the tables. “So what about you?” She asked, as they both made their way to the High Line, warm latte in hand.

“What do you mean?” He questions back, displaying a coy smile.

“C’mon you know what I mean. What’s your story? And when I mean story I dont mean how you got famous.” Y/N explains as they continue walking.

Tom looked down at the ground, thinking. He couldnt remember the last time a stranger wiuld ask about his life, and not just the story about his career. “Well, I have 3 younger brothers. A set of twins named Sam and Harry and a younger brother name Paddy but we like to call him Padster. I lived with my best mate Harrison for 4 years. Love sports but golfing all time has to be my favorite. Ironically, Im terrified of spiders and I hate cheese.”

Y/N took in his 5 minute biography, and thought about how genuine he was. Just like she did, Tom gave stories about his brothers and best friend, and the more he talked the real he felt to Y/N. Their friendship was blossoming and in this moment nothing felt out of place. “Wow, you hate cheese?! Cheese is single-handely the best creation on this planet. I feel sorry for the girl that had to deal with that.” Y/N stopped her tracks, realizing what she just slipped in. She didnt mean to mention about a potential girlfriend he did or didnt have, it just...happened.

“Haha Im sure she doesn’t mind. She doesnt particulary like cheese either.” He plays along, but Y/N’s spirit started to lower. So there was a girl after all. She should have known.

“Oh, so there is a girl. Isnt there?” She speaks in a monotone.

“Of course! Tessa shes been with me for awile. Cheeky little dog, but I love her so much.” Tom laughs as he takes a sip of his coffee.

Y/N shook her head as she caught on his words. Dog? Upon realization, she shook her head looking down at the ground hiding her embarrassment.

“Sorry. I had to.” He continued to laugh, “but your face and attitude was priceless. Its almost as if you we’re jealous or soemthing.”

“What?! Me jealous?! Please.” Y/N tried miserably to play off.

“C’mon I saw those lips purse and that cute nose scrunch. You looked wee bit jealous.” Tom stated as he lifted her chin to meet his eyes. The moment was tense and silent but not akward. They took in each others features, lips getting closer, eyes slowly closing until... “It’s getting late.”Y/N whispered. Both let down by the moment being ruined.

Tom pulled away with a look of disappointment. “Yeah...you’re right. I’ll walk you back? My hotel is not far from your place.” He offered.

“Of course it’s not. It’s the tri-state area. Everything here is 30 minutes or less.” She jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “I would like that a lot.”

They continued to walk back home, side by side with light conversations. Almost forgetting their almost-kiss on their unofficial date. As they reached the steps of Y/N’s apartment. The two bid their farewell.

“Well I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you Y/N.” Tom said smiling at her as he held her hand.

“Likewise. I cant remember the last time I had this much fun.” Y/N admits, hoping that this wouldnt be the first and last time she’d see him. “Maybe we can do this again?” She bravely suggests.

“I’d love that. See you soon, darling.” With that he kissed her goodbye on the cheek as he made his way to the hotel, but not until he made sure, Y/N got inside safely.

Proceed to Track 3.

Taglist (Send an ask or message to be added):

@horanxholland @peterspideyy @stan-ish230403 @averyfosterthoughts @eridanuswave @greatpizzascissorstaco

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

76 notes · View notes