#3am brain worm be like..

[moody-alcoholic]

+18 MDNI

Something something.. Johnny making you ride his fingers as he presses his tongue against your clit.

He doesn't even have to do much, letting you rock your hips against him, making sure his fingers curl up inside you with each grind.

You like to think you're in control-Johnny makes you think you're in control.

'Thats it luv.. so fuckn' hot fer me.'

'This pretty little pussy, meltin' in me mouth.'

It's a string of endless praises and rough drags of his tongue, teasing your swollen clit. You're arching your back, gripping the beading and screaming his name.

'Joh-John-Johnny...'

Even when you cum-clenching around his fingers and throbbing in his mouth-he doesn't relent. He nibbles on your clit until you're shaking from overstimulation. His fingers pressing deep inside you as he fucks you through the orgasm.

The door to the room opens, you see Simon with an eyebrow raised taking in the scene before him. Johnny turns pulling his mouth and fingers off you.

'Alright love? Ya missed the show.' Johnny says getting to his feet leaving you-a half naked panting mess on the bed.

'Ready for the encore?' He asks wrapping his arms around Simon's waist and pressing his face onto his neck.

[trans-queen-administrator]

I will never fucking be over Speck. We all watched the girl we spent 1.6 million words with, that we saw grow and fight and bleed and never give up, slowly and noticeably degrade and become a paranoid hollow shell of her former self. She slowly lost her ability to speak, read, write, comprehend words, or read body language, and everything she lost made her break down more with the realization. So many themes reached their peak, from Taylor's desire to throw herself away and burn up for a good cause, to her willingness to commit truly horrifying acts for the greater good, to her desire for everyone to just fucking band together and put aside their differences against a common foe. There's so many amazing moments like Lisa verbally eviscerating her, to the breakdown when she thinks she killed Dragon, to her handing Dinah the "I'm sorry" note before taking control of her. And I haven't even gotten into the ever increasing connection between her and her passenger and how damn well that was done, or the way her thoughts become shaky and unhinged, or the conversation at the end with Contessa, or the way Rachel steps into her radius because she trusts her, or Aisha singing the entire time and comforting Taylor as she unravels. I swear to god I barely covered half of what I love about Speck in this post, it has so much and it's the perfect ending to the such an interesting character and story. It's genuinely my favorite piece of writing ever, I have not once managed to read it without crying. She tries so fucking hard and in her infinite determination and disregard for herself she kills god. God it's so good.

[jackals-ships]

"Fen’Harel tried to shake his pursuer, but the hound ran as coursers can only run in their dreams. Even the wind couldn’t have fled that hound. He ran the Dread Wolf down and grabbed him by the tail! Fen’Harel howled, so loud that the Veil shook and even the stars scattered in fear. But the hound wouldn’t let go."

"Neither hound nor Wolf gave in. Finally, Fen’Harel bit off his own tail to escape, and away he fled. Ever since, the Dread Wolf thinks twice about playing his tricks when dogs are on guard."

a more experimental piece! can't stop thinking about dai!jackals dog coding vs solas as the old wolf,,,

[chesters-ocs]

if my fingers were genuinely not hurting rn, id be tapping away on the draft i just started. but alas, at least i got the idea jotted down

aka now its time to lower the quality of my posts for until tomorrow cuz babes im going on mobile and whatever typos i make there are between me and god and maybe the rest of the internet as well

[ceilidho]

‘John price with a single mother this’ ‘Simon Riley with a single mother that’

Yeah yeah keep yapping. Now ME? I think we’re seriously undervaluing the sheer perfection that is Johnny fucking MacTavish with a single mother. He’s insufferable. If there’s an opportunity to worm his way into your life permanently, he’s taking it. My brains fixated on newly moved in neighbour reader and Johnny just comes back from being deployed and there’s this pretty woman next door and woah! bonus points! She has a baby!

He’s bouncing off the walls. He’s sick. Almost first thing he does after seeing you come in and out the flats alone a few times is ask if your lad is around. Has to try so hard to pretend to be sympathetic when you say he did a runner when he found you you were pregnant.

He’s actually spectacular with babies. Makes a point of it whenever he sees you with the kid too; always makes her chuckle, goes out of his way to prove that he’s great with kids. Works his way into it, builds a rapport so when you’re called into work for an emergency you just can’t miss the first person you go to for babysitting is Johnny. When you get back, he’s ‘asleep’ on the couch with the baby on his chest and you just don’t have it in you to wake him so you just sit on the other end of the couch and wait. When he does ‘wake up’ it’s a bit late to be kicking him out so you just offer to let him stay night (this becomes a reoccurring theme).

Starts referring to the you and baby as ‘the bairn’ and ‘his lass’ long before he even asks you out. Asked out for drinks? No, sorry. He’s got to go home to his lass and the bairn. Is he busy this weekend? Yeah he’s taking his lass and the bairn to the amusements. Frequently confuses work colleagues and friends alike because when did Johnny have time to A. Get a girl and B. Shag her enough to knock her up???? Will NOT correct anyone who calls him your husband or the baby’s dad, and will actually get upset if you do.

The moment you agree to go out with him he’s micromoving you into his flat (he’s already looking for houses). Has pictures of you and the baby up on his wall in less than an hour of you being his girlfriend. The ‘spare’ crib is already assembled. He’s already picked a ring. He’s insane. He’s in love. He’s known you for like three months. He’s already got the next like two pregnancies planned out (he wants a big family. No he hasn’t asked you yet). Actually kind of deludes himself into forgetting the baby isn’t his biological child. Wdym it’s not his kid it looks exactly like him??? I think he would actually get a little violent if the baby’s father randomly popped up demanding visitation out of the blue. Said baby’s father is not heard from again.

Anyways I’m insane and in love with Johnny MacTavish and his silly deranged ways send tweet

i want you to know that i woke up to get some water in the middle of the night and happened to check my phone and see this and i had to physically hold myself back from answering it at like. 3am.

first of all, i love you. second of all? i love this. i have been repeating "his lass and the bairn" in my head for like five hours now. johnny deluding himself into thinking the baby is actually his? that little gasp you heard was the last little bit of air in my lungs escaping before i expired and died.

there's no way he wouldn't end up saying something batshit crazy like "look at his wee little nose - just like his daddy's huh?" and you'd just be frozen staring at the two of them. maybe your baby's nose does look a little like johnny's but - that doesn't mean - is he just joking or -?

[jazjelspen]

knight in shining armor

kaeya x reader

(note: mentions of obsession yet not yandere, not proofread, may be ooc, reader is described as to be the traveller or simple A traveller, they/them reader.)

(extra: this is just a lil dumb fanfic i wrote at like 3am, i just wanted to try to write ONE finished piece after not being to finish at least five other pieces….)

it's been years, and he hasn't seen you at all. not for a minute, not for a second.

you've been missing for who knows how long, yet you're still all that he thinks about.

you infect his mind like an amoeba to a brain, a virus to a body, a worm in an apple-- you've solidified yourself in ways to which you have been permanently stuck and altered in his mind and he just can't get rid of you.

he thinks it's tedious and almost stupid as he doesn't want to dare to admit that he has more than an inkling of an attraction towards you.. in fact, he's at the very least mildly obsessed.

he knows this is bad, he knows this isn't what a person of high authority should be doing, feeling-- his inflated ego hurt at the fact that a simple stranger that came from a land far, far away could do such a thing.

he's a captain, you're a traveller.

you come and go as you please, and he is stuck at a certain spot at a certain position.. albeit slacking off a bit more than he would ever admit due to his credibility.

the scent of your hair, the smooth gentle touch of your skin- be it cold or warm- sets him off entirely. your clothes match your personality and reflect your internal self both visually and beautifully, your eyes a color that just flips him on his head and his stomach hurling in a infestation of butterflies.

there's no way in hell that this is healthy.

but there is also no way he isn't going to try to get an extra minute with you if he could.

which is why on a nice summer hot day he decided to ask you out, perhaps to relax and have a nice outing at a lake, a romantic evening at the angel's share, or a vibrant conversation over a meal and several drinks that make both your faces flush.

but then you disappeared.

the day he tried to find you was when you disappeared from this earth.

no amount of 'missing' posters nor reward money could bring you back.

you were meant to be declared dead awhile ago, but he never let up no matter what his superiors or those who worked below him told him.

he knew you'd be out there somewhere.

he knew you'd come back.

but just as he was about to fall into the routine of accepting your possible death, the possibility that you have finally left the earth and ceased to exist in one way or another.. did you finally appear just as you left: out of thin air.

time has passed since the two of you have been young adults.

now.. he sees that exact face from years ago.

yet despite how time has affected everyone, such as him getting just a few years older yet he has prided himself in still keeping that dashing young energy and face, it somehow didn't seem to affect you the way everyone else matured.

you still had the same clothes, the same hairstyle, the same plump young face, skin still as radiant as you were at your early 20s..

it's like time didn't dare to touch not even a single hair on your head.

with your sudden appearance all your old friends flocked to you and taking you in their arms while he stood back and watched.

it's like seeing a ghost, a corpse reanimated and walking with red back in it's veins.

you were just as perfect as the day he lost you.

yet instead of grabbing you and taking you in his arms the way he has wanted to do for years. he instead walks up to you slowly and listens to your story.

you apparently were taken to a different dimension on your way to continue your adventure yet again, being stuck there for a few hours until you finally got out-- and realized you were actually stuck there for a few years. it barely took ahold of you on how time worked differently there than when it did here.

but you were in such a state of shock you couldn't finish your story- he saw how you would stumble over your words in both confusion and panic at the fact that you missed out on so much and weren't there when those needed you most.

he was selfish, so selfish for this.

he wrapped his arms around you as you cried in his shoulder. your tears burning his soul but it made his heart weep with joy that you would basically throw your arms around him once he initiated the act.

he kept you just like that, close and rubbing your back- telling you gentle comforting phrases to get you to relax.

it wasn't until you said:

"thank you so much kaeya, I never saw you as a comforting type.. I thought maybe you saw yourself better than that but- it's such a relief you're here.. would you have the time to help me around here? please?"

and he couldn't just say no to those pretty eyes filled with tears.

he couldn't be happier that you finally initiated this first.

oh was he excited to be your knight in shining armor.

[myattman]

re: my tags:

we back at the bar sipping electric lemonade and waiting for a concert to start

[profectua]

》ＢＬＵＥ ＬＯＣＫ Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎｓ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ; ɴᴏɴᴇ! ᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴍᴀᴏ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ; ɪꜱᴀɢɪ, ʙᴀᴄʜɪʀᴀ, ᴄʜɪɢɪʀɪ, ᴋᴜɴɪɢᴀᴍɪ, ɴᴀɢɪ, ʀᴇᴏ, ʙᴀʀᴏᴜ, ʀɪɴ, ʜɪᴏʀɪ, ᴋᴀʀᴀꜱᴜ, ʏᴜᴋɪᴍɪʏᴀ, ᴏᴛᴏʏᴀ

Isagi: Back when he was younger, he had a phase where he would do the dab whenever he scored a goal. It could be completely outdated too and people would cringe at him LMAO. Might’ve also done fortnite dance (he doesn’t even play fortnite). His teammates try to go over and celebrate but he randomly breaks into the orange justice (he can’t even do it properly) so they end up just standing there like 🧍. Let him have his moment I guess???

Bachira: He was one of those kids that played with insects outside or something (speaking from experience) 😭. You’d catch him playing outside and there were 3 worms, each with different names. He probably gave them sad backstories too. The neighbors thought he was weird as hell. If someone pointed it out, he’d be like “Stop being rude to them! They’re my friends!” And he’d actually look pissed off, exactly like this emoji 😠. If he comes back to the same spot only to find that they aren’t there, he’ll come home crying 😭 🙏 Please help him.

Chigiri: He’s canonically a moody guy…I feel like he ‘decides’ his mood for the day ykyk 😭. If it’s a clear sky, sunny day, he’ll choose to be happy but if he wakes up and it’s raining, he decides that he’s gonna be angry. Always ends up breaking character though. If he's laughing and suddenly remembers that he's supposed to be angry, he’ll immediately put on a blank expression again like 😐 and the people around him think they did something wrong LMAOO. Like??? What happened bro???

Kunigami: His go-to pose for photos is the thumbs up or the peace sign and HE LOOKS SO STIFF. He’s just there like 🙂 ✌️. He looks so awkward pls 😭. His little sister is trying so hard not to laugh and he’s just like ???? What's so funny?? If he’s accidentally photo-bombing and realises too late, he’ll strike that EXACT POSE until someone tells him to move cus his brain couldn’t process it ITS SO SAD 😭

Nagi: Once, when he was younger, he tried doing one of those free robux application things where you play a bunch of games for robux and he thought it was legit because some youtuber did it. His parents were like “Seishiro what are you even doing” and he was like “I’m grinding robux mom, you wouldn’t understand” Like Nagi…don’t even get your hopes up 😬. Long story short, it didn’t work and he ended up with some virus on his ipad. He woke his parents up at 3am and was like “um…I think I got hacked ☹️” His parents WERE NOT pleased 😭

Reo: Had a little rebellious phase where he only used cringey Gen Z slang. In front of his parents too and they’d stare at him like 😨. “Zamn ngl this food is bussin’ fr goated no cap,” said young Reo, at a luxurious 5-star restaurant. His mom almost choked on her food. Probably got side-eyed by the waiter too. He didn’t even realise that it wasn’t cool until he found out that NOBODY actually says all that 😭.

Barou: When he’s eating other people's food or eating at a restaurant, he judges it like he’s Gordan Ramsey or something??? Imagine he’s at someone's house for dinner and then when they’re eating he has this whole routine. First he sniffs, feels the texture, then he examines with his eyes, and finally starts eating. You’ll tell if he likes it or not from his expressions 💀 He’ll start interrogating too LMAO. He’d be like “What kind of spice is this?” “How much salt did you add?” HE’S NOT PLAYING YALL.

Rin: Took elementary dodgeball SERIOUSLY. He’d yell at his teammates. Losing? Not on his watch. “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! IT’S DODGE BALL NOT GET HIT IN THE FACE BALL YOU LOSER!”. If he ever lost a game in PE, he’d start crying and throwing a fit, all while blaming his teammates. He would act like an angel if Sae was there though LMAO.

Hiori: He tries to re-enact cool moves from video games. Like if there's a character that has a cool playstyle he’ll literally hop out of his gaming chair just to swing a spatula around 😭. He got the sound effects goin on too, you can hear little pews and booms. Or if there’s a specific voice line from the final boss that he thinks sounds cool he’ll say it out loud (sometimes his parents hear and they think that he’s lost it not that they care though.)

Karasu: He had a huge chess.com phase, probably in middle school. But he was that one kid that goes ‘I wasn’t even trying tho lol’ when he lost (behind the screen he is SCREAMING in rage). ALSO He’s the type to be super expressive (kinda like Barou) 😭. You’ll know when he’s judging you cus’ his face will go 😬 😲 ☹️ 😧 🤔 in that order 💀. He could say something but his expressions reveal all there is.

Yukimiya: When he first got his glasses, he probably forgot them a lot LOL. Like he’d show up to football practice without them and one of his teammates would go “Yo where’s your glasses, Yukki?” and he’d be like…oh yeah. There was probably one point where he thought his eyesight was getting better. He woke up one morning and just decided that he suddenly felt like he had good vision again. It was all in his head 💀.

Otoya: He once tried hitting on a girl when her boyfriend WAS RIGHT THERE and he didn’t even notice. Let’s just say he ran for his life. His older sister has a video recording of it and uses it as blackmail. Worst of all he genuinely thought he could've ‘stolen’ her from him 😭 LIKE OTOYA NO. 😭

[astrum99]

I can’t stop thinking about angel anatomy.

How are they made? What are they made of? If we break them down limb by limb, flesh by flesh, molecule by molecule, would we find the same structures that echoes our DNA? The same stable, constraining carbon? The same heavy metals? The same blood that flows with life, with death? Are they made of the same stardust that echoed in me?

Do they have a brain? A large raw organ, fragile and limited, capable of complex imaginary hallucinatory mathematics with scheduled periods of unconsciousness to make up for the capacity? A liver and two kidneys? To distill the holy light from the contaminates of the polluting environments akin to a dialysis machine cycling the liquids within the veins? A spine that holds strong? Riddled with the same 33 bones and ridges and intervertebral disks and fluids and sensitive nerves and has a habit of bending over for tedious work? A stomach that stirs and shifts constantly? To hold food? Souls? Light? To churn and froth at the consumption of concepts? An appendix? This small unless thing that rests and nestles between the layers of warm, worm-like intestines? How many teeth do you have? How many fingers? How many knees? What is the shape of your nails? What is the colour of your esophagus? How deep are the socket of your eyes?

How fast does your heart beat?

Is it faster? Slower? Do you even have a heart?

Do you feel in the same way that I feel? The pressure of processed wood against my feet, the nagging buzzing of LED light above my head, the smell of faint smoke from a cooking disaster weeks ago. The sound of people laughing unruly in the distance, putting on a show in the TV program that no one watches. The dampness of the towel against my face. The pain of a needle sliding into soft flesh that gives way willingly to metal. The bruises blooming slowly, aching like love. The chirping of songbirds, the shape of cumulus clouds, the haziness of a morning fog that really stayed for far too long. The way that my mother worked around the hard peels of an orange with the sharpest knife in the kitchen, just to present the sweetest parts to me. The tenderness of a shoulder touching mine before stealing my blankets (again) with a giggle that indicated no remorse. The sluggish sunlight that sneaks through the shades just to press a kiss on my forearm. The sorrow and passion of the symphony on the last show on the last tour, followed by cheers and drunken (revered) confessions during the post-performance celebration at 3am in a random bar of a random city. The foot print of an animal in the first winter snow of the year, like a human pressing their hand print on to the cave walls, chanting I am here I am here I am here, chanting remember me remember me remember me.

Do you bear the shame of sacred inabilities as we humans do? Unable to see beyond the visible spectrum of light? Unable to distinguish the difference between wet and dry, only to assume based on temperature and texture? Unable to know if someone else was speaking of the truth? Unable to see inside someone’s mind? Unable to thread words in a way that completely gives you away like you intended to? Unable to turn back into a child and speak of love so easily? Unable to run forever and ever? Unable to peak into the veil beyond space and time and death? Unable to tell your pet that you’re sorry for making them take the awful medicine and please don’t hate me please don’t hate me please don’t hate me? Unable to be remembered and recognized, at least not wholly, at least not without mistakes?

Do you ever feel the strangeness of existence? Why you? Why now? Why here? That sometimes it feels like the world is five degrees to the left and you are just out of sync enough to keep going. That sometimes you are so overwhelmed with the the giant coincidence that is the world so you weep uncontrollably at the wonder of it all. That you feel like suffocation as you dig into the earth with your bloody fingers because a bird hit your window and died and you didn’t know and you kneeled by it for an hour before realizing it wasn’t breathing.

It died so long ago. It won’t get up again. The first time you held a bird was its cold hard corpse. So small between your palms, so fragile. It’s feathers iridescent. You have never seen one so up close. It was the prettiest and the deadest thing you’ve ever touched. It feels like the world. It feels like a prayer. Do you understand?

Do you regret like me? Love like me? Despair like me? Do you dream like me? Pray like me? Cry like me?

How close are you?

Let me touch you.

Please, I have to know.

[hakugin0]

So that new Levi card, woah boy(positive). I get how setting is slightly dubious but unfortunately my brain stopped at the ‘childish jealousy’ part and yeah childish was the perfect word he actually is throwing a bratty tantrum about MC talking about their time with Minhyeok WHILE THEY'RE NOT EVEN NEXT TO HIM. Levi, babey, you're not beating the Tsundere allegations.

Also the part about the sins was very interesting ‘cause it kinda puts in perspective why he feels like there's no King he's close to. Or at least that's my read on that part, all their sins have some positive parts while his is the only fully negative one so of course he couldn't feel close to them. (Personally I do think that part is his viewpoint on their sins and it would be interesting to see the other Kings’ too, Satan in particular since I feel like his sin and depressive mood swings do go hand in hand)

Now for the read more aka wiiiild speculations because he didn't come home in the reduced ten pull aka see you in 3 months bae when I have 500 pulls and you still refuse to show up(looking at you bath Satan), fair bit of character analysis and slight canon divergence(???) plus personal MC involvement.

GONNA PREFACE THIS BY WAVING NY ‘LEVI SIMP’ FLAG UP HIGH, IF THE CARD STORY WAS OFF PUTTING TO YOU OR YOU DISLIKE HIS CHARACTER IN GENERAL THEN MORE POWER TO YOU BUT PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST! IT AIN'T MEANT FOR YOU HOMIE (it's meant for me first and then anyone else who wants to witness my 3am insanity)

Aight? Aight! Here we go gamers

Gonna start this off by saying that when they dropped the first teaser for the card my expectations for the story were jelly Levi wants to replace minhyeok and thus enters MC's memories except surprise surprise it was actually some corn set in a high school (don't pretend those aren't a thing, we're all adults here, and with MC’s track record in that game it would not be surprising) in part because the story had to get spicy at some point.

Personal belief is that what we see in the prologue of Levi is the closest thing to a ‘normal’ him aka a version of him that got to experience a normal childhood and not have all the trauma of… ya know… HIS WHOLE PAST. The way he expected an attack when MC initially trips breaks me in a very particular way, he has never known peace, he expects everything to be some sort of attempt on his or his people’s life. The one time he wasn't as uptight ended up with him heavily injured (Bloodshed card).

There is also him ascertaining that they had different starting points. Now this could refer to a lot of things but to me one thing that does is put a definite line between them. To me it sounds like he's reasoning with himself that because of their very different lives they would be incompatible (combined with that thing about his sin being the only negative one it shows he always separates himself from people he would otherwise form bonds with)

Now he's still not nice, far from it, but he can be accommodating and look out for MC when he is not thinking 24/7 about possibly being attacked. Whether he reasons that it would endear himself more to them or out of pure instinct he looked out for MC, those were not Minhyeok’s actions he mimicked but his own.

So yeah, average Levi is horrendously bad at emotions and frankly probably the one who understands his own emotions towards a potential romantic partner(since tbh that is what MC is) the least. (This is a whole other can of brainworms about how aside from Solomon he probably has not been attached to anyone in that way until MC based on something he says in his H-Scene, but that can of worms shall be opened later) please get some therapists in Hell, clearly everyone would benefit from it.

There is also something impossibly endearing to me about seeing Levi in a high school setting even for a bit because that's not something he ever experienced and I wish his time exploring that part of MC and Minhyeok's past was a bit longer. I want to believe MC gets to ask him later in the story how he felt about it.

---

If you were only here for the character analysis then thanks for reading, have a lovely day/night/evening, we are going into wild speculation territory and some personal things regarding my MC Jin in that particular scenario.

tl;dr: After Jin's parents were killed she pretty much secluded herself in their home doing most of her studying through online courses and only showing up physically at school for a couple of days.

I choose to believe she was aware of stuff from the start but in that way you're aware you're in a dream while you sleep, she can tell things are a bit off but not fully what is wrong. She knows the person with her is not Minhyeok, she also knows who Leviathan is, but there's a certain disconnect when trying to piece it all together, but the further the dream goes the more she ‘realises’ and ‘awakens to the truth' if you will.

She cannot help but pity Levi’s situation even if she knows if she ever said that she'd probably get insta-hanged, so a part of her cannot help but wonder if he wanted to experience some normalcy for once. (She's not the brightest tool in the shed so the fact that he wants to replace Minhyeok would not pass by her singular braincell) (I love her I swear, being mean is my love language)

So I imagine after the whole dream thing is over and she next visits Hades she doesn't raise any questions about that event. She seems annoyingly unbothered and not curious at all. If anything this just makes Leviathan more angry because she can't be that unbothered after everything and pretend nothing happened, he should've been the only thing on her mind and yet she still sometimes mentions that detestable human. Oh how he should hang her for it. And then one day she has a conspicuously familiar candy in her mouth. “Was the experience at least a bit pleasant?” She's soft spoken anyway but she sounds almost apologetic. Why yes the experience was quite pleasant if Levi had to be honest but he'd never praise her openly… and then it hits him. She's not asking about that, she's asking about how he felt in a normal human high school.

When she gets no answer she stammers and starts speaking again, trying to fill the void. “I didn't exactly… go there often…” The pauses are plentiful and her shoulders droop almost in shame. “... so I imagine whatever you saw was rather lacklustre… aside from… my pathetic display-”

“It wasn't bad.”

A short sentence and it was enough to make the human girl perk up instantly. From anyone else that would be considered nigh an insult, but with Levi's temperament that was the highest praise she could hope for. By the time Jin was next to his desk after he'd beckoned her with a wave of his hand her visage had brightened significantly. ‘Stealing’ the lollipop from between her lips was ‘child’s play’ after that, the girl clearly took stunned to speak and becoming redder by the second.

“Yes, not bad at all.”

[bat-to-da-robs]

Wait no Alastor is transmasc truscum coded. I will only partially elaborate. The desire to get political power. The conflict between lifting up his fellow queers versus stepping on them on his way to personal liberation. The fact that no matter how much power he accrues, he will never escape the structure he is in - the structure in which he will remain a demon.

He took a stand he didn't anticipate himself taking against a 'real' man - a man with society's (heaven's) backing - and was nearly killed. Now he is questioning why tf he did that when he should keep his eye on the ball and continue to serve himself to the detriment of others. From a place of fear.

Exposure to community made him take on the bigger battle rather than using those around him as a stepladder. This is what community does - broadens our perspective and shifts our goals from individual to collective. But because he stopped looking out for solely himself, he was suddenly in unprecedented danger.

And no matter how close to the top dog overload Alastor gets, he can never truly let anyone 'touch' him - know him - and maintain his power. Truscum, even when they have succeeded in the cis world and accrued power from this, can never truly relax.

And Alastor perpetuates the violence enacted upon him (by lilith most likely) by turning around and abusing those under him. Being caged makes animals of us all. And truscum perpetuate the abuse they have received onto other trans people. Trans people that are lower than them in the political power heighrarchy.

I have more thoughts but it is 3am and I wish to return to slumber I hope these disjointed ramblings are of interest to someone.

Unrelatedly Alastor has all the tisms and the same could be said of him re aspie superiority and internalised ableism leading to externalised ableism directed at those who are disabled differently to you blah blah blah the brain worms are roiling this eve.

[egtotaldramatakes]

Heyyyy, if we have the same timezone(CST) why were you up at 3AM??

Also is it bad that I relate to Mal hcs?? Like “He doesnt know how to show empathy, gratefullness, etc” ME TOO HO AND THEN PPL ARE PISSED WHEN I DONT LOOK GRATEFUL I PROMISE I AM I DONT KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT; WHAT DO TOU EXPECT ME TO DO? HOP SKIPPLE AND JUMP? EMOTE? THE MACARENA?- 🦇 anon

(Im on PST time zone i think i was only up until like 1:30ish i just was so.i couldn’t fall asleep Bridgette brain worms)

[pillowspace]

For the DCA being a computer virus, the idea that they're an extension like Helpie is, the function being to be installed into devices and meant to keep kids safe with accessing the internet and media, only to in truth be a danger themselves under the way they perform when adults are around.

More of an issue in a future with more smart-tech-devives to hack into, if they're brought home and access the router with wifi connection. The silly little guy from that app showing up on the fridge display doesn't seem so bad until it's not just waving hello its tracking what you put inside and take out. Tying into more and more devices, able to open or possibly obscure emails, redirect search results and reviews that would tell someone that someone that they're dangerous.

Smiling and colorful and associated with a jingle that distorts and stretches as its played through things not built for their presence but has to bear it until things overheat or burnout. Who needs to tell them your credit card when you make the mistake of using a tap-to-pay?

Fazbear would be scummy enough to make a program that worms into tech to manipulate children and get data to sell from adults + incompetent enough to underestimate how adaptable they are and lose them, letting them become invasive overtime . It is past 3am, sorry for typos or being incoherent, your post gave many thoughts! Hope you are well ^^)

YOU!!!!

THAT IS THE EXACT AU THAT WAS BEING OBSCURED FROM MY BRAIN, THAT IS IT. YOU UNRAVELLED IT. YOU PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS. THANK YOU!!!

Virus DCA... I'm so fascinated by the thought of it

[definitelynotshouting]

okay 3am anon again (although you likely have more than one of those, the most recent 3am anon) after some sleep, still thinking about the overlap between the player Grian’s last memories of his code being devoured and the pre grian larval watcher’s memory of doing the devouring. in this au there’s no concept of the soul, it’s just code all the way down? so like… player grian’s code didn’t get shucked off to the greater universe and recycled. it’s still *there*, making up watcher grian. like he’s a fusion of the two, chimera like— or worse, a stranger wearing player grians corpse.

side note: while ik the listeners aren’t that well known (if known at all) to the players, i think the process of becoming a listener and becoming a watcher artificially are eerily similar. the difference to me being that one has a clear delineation in the before and the after, the player and the watcher, while the other leaves outsiders wondering exactly how much of their friend is left. you’re giving ME brain worms.

side side note: re: Doc’s Mystery Solution: think it would incredibly funny for it to be a radio tower broadcasting the Watcher Food Frequency. Many jokes to be had. Fortunately i’m making all of them:

1) grian simply thinking real hard at the air to eat call that Same-Second Delivery

(like that one telekinesis pizza image)

2) *Incomprehensible static noises* “YOU’RE LISTENING TO—“ *Rapid screeching and clicking* “— THE WATCHER RADIO—“ *hissing, skittering, shrieking* “—THE BEST (only) ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET ON AIR!” *three seconds of the time honored watcher classic Maneater by Nelly Furtado blares before being subsumed by crushing static*

3) No one gets to change the station on road trips it’s crushing static or grian gets the munchies and throws them into another death game.

side side side note (side x3 note?), grians specific set of issues around feeding is so interesting to me— knowing that what helps you will directly hurt others, imo, really validates the fear a lot of ill— mentally and physically— people have about being a burden on those they love, and getting themselves hurt in the process of attempting to protect their loved ones. it also follows that up by saying “you might be a burden! But it’s the choice of others to help you. What a world it would be if all we meant to each other was the burdens we give and take.” idk i could be grossly misinterpreting it. but it is an interesting thought to me.

additionally, i like the rounded focus you have on everyone— seeing how everyone is 1) handling this extreme situation, 2) what they do with the little information they have/have figured out is so wonderfully twisty. it grounds the fic in an emotional reality, whilst using scifi/fantasy concepts to form the set on which that emotional reality is played out. immaculate.

side x4 note:

imagine some therapist phones grian and is like “ay so i got a patient that’s emotionally repressed out the wazoo can you come take a bite so they can figure out how to label the emotions they’re feeling thanks”

grian: how did you get this number.

side x5 note:

all i’m saying is that TECHNICALLY player grians code is still inside watcher grian :) in pieces :) like a gruesome patchwork making up his memory code and surface code :) that must look soooooooooo silly from xisumas perspective. incredibly silly. lethally silly even. 14 dead 62 injured silly event.

side x6 note:

the approach your world building has for the ethical implications of genetic modification and self driven evolution is simply. chefs kiss.

like watchers changed the cores of themselves to escape over hunting by the seekers. players recreationally change their skins. listeners meld and learn from their hosts code just as much as they impart themselves on their hosts. It’s normal at different levels but also held in a higher regard than just the irl concept of “what if rich people could design their babies :) surely nothing can go wrong with that” i mean it’s more nuanced but i gotta write abt that for a lot of my classes so i will spare you the ramble (IN THAT REGARD SPECIFICALLY. YOU ARE NOT SPARED IN ANY OTHER. MY APOLOGIES)

intelligent design but the maker and the molded are one and the same. in the words of half-alive’s hit song “creature”, every living thing here is “creation both haunted and holy”, the universe experiencing itself, through infinitely recycled code.

side x7 note:

you mentioned the dev crystals blowing up if there was too much stress on the system w too many abandoned worlds. call that chernobyl the way that— *loud incorrect buzzer sounds*

anyways that’s not all the thoughts i have but i need to fuel my body with something that’s not brain rot and ideally has some protein in it lmfao.

hope you enjoy this ramble, and have a wonderful day!

ANON I LOVE AND ADORE THESE RAMBLES THIS IS SO ENRICHING FOR ME TO READ ALSO YOUR JOKES ARE SO ON POINT IM LOSING MY MIND RN SKDNAJFNSKDNSJDJDJ

Genuinely its so so lovely to read people's thoughts and analysis' for hunger au-- i am utterly obsessed with what everyone's different takeaways are, and the common thread between them. And like!!! What you're reading into it is stuff i have done my best to carefully insert and im SO HAPPY its coming across!!!! Watcher!Grian does have an exact copy of Player!Grian's memory code-- he's pretty much the exact same person in my eyes, just... different. Idk its hard to explain. But my thought on the whole ship of theseus situation has ALWAYS been "its still you if thats what you choose." and thats ultimately what i want to portray for Grian as well.

Smth smth "show me a permanent state of the self" and "trauma changes you irrevocably but so does healing" and "sometimes you replace your host (hi fellow systems im waving)" and also a little of that good old trans "i killed and ate the person i was and became something different but im also still me" flavour all at the same time. There are a ton of different things im referencing in the entire idea of Grian killing and replacing himself and containing those trace amounts of that original code and they are all SO integral to the story for me. I think at the end of the day its very much a "i was changed and theres nothing i can do about that but i can keep moving forward as i grieve" type situation. Taps mic is this thing on. This room is so dark

Im so glad youve made all the Grian munchies jokes bc these are STELLAR

For the mental health thing!!! Yes!!!! Yes oh my gods it is SO important to me to have that as part of this portrayal, that yes sometimes we hurt each other and sometimes we hurt each other badly-- but we are still a COMMUNITY and that means there is a deliberate choice in choosing to provide support anyways. I'll fully admit that i didnt necessarily go into this fic with like, a moral in mind?? In its most honest form, this fic is just a depiction, as is most of my work-- i really enjoy exploring the messy realities of terrible situations, often without any good answers, and navigating the maze of their ugly results when everybody is just trying their best. But i'll never say im not glad that this is something being taken out of reading this fic-- its about the community of it all. Its about how sometimes you hurt people and they can love you and support you anyway. Its about how sometimes people hurt you and you can also continue to support them. Like youve put so elegantly here: where would we be if we only measured our relationships in how much of a burden they are to us???? If we only gave a shit about the transaction of it all???? idk its all so deeply human to me and thats ultimately what i like about this fic, is the humanity in it, and the nuance, and the complexity of a terrible situation where everything is understandable and just plain sucks.

Im genuinely so glad that you're enjoying how rounded everything is-- ive been working really hard to make sure everyone gets a little bit of a spotlight, and that spotlight is going to expand SIGNIFICANTLY once we get to hermitcraft again. My work is cut out for me LOL especially because i have an obsession with doing right by every character, but i do genuinely enjoy taking that deeper dive into hermits im far less familiar with-- im having lots of fun lowkey studying Welsknight in particular rn via Iskall's hermitcraft vault hunters series. Im hoping it pays off when i eventually get to his little spotlight :]

Also okay MAN i will candidly admit i didnt even THINK about genetic modification ethics when coming up with this worldbuilding. I think my thought process on it was more or less that i wanted to do something more unique than hybrids but without sacrificing the aesthetic options and so i came up with "everybody is functionally a shapeshifter, there we go, cool" and my trans ass slammed the IMMEDIATE ACCEPT button bc gods. Ideal fucking world i would like to be a lion. U kno how it is. But im very glad you find this so interesting and!!!! Thats SO COOL that ive managed to connect to smth youre so passionate about irl!!!! Also i find just what youve mentioned here to be a very very interesting subject so if you ever want to ramble more about it i would love to hear!!!! :D

Gods okay this got long but i adore this ask and also the "YOU'RE MOLDY??????" TRULY GOT TO ME AKDNWKDNSKDN IT LEGIT SENT ME INTO A COUGHING FIT HELP,,,,,,,, tysm for sending these, they made my day and im glad i finally got the chance to respond to them :]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[peepoleepo]

IDK I can't name things for shit, and it's past 3AM.

Honest to God idk what this is. I had an idea. There aren't any names mentioned, but it's Jon and Ed.

He was asleep. That wasn't terribly uncommon after we finished for the night. This was about the only time of day you could get any semblance of quiet out of him either. He had a terrible habit of running his mouth. I find that it's much better suited for other things.

I watched the slow rise and fall of his chest beginning to speed up. His brow began to furrow. Yes, he was asleep all alright but not peacefully. I've never known him to sleep peacefully. He tosses and turns like a worm writhing on a fishing line. The small whimpers are always a delight to my ears. His small pleas to stop, please make it stop are a wonderful addition as well. If only I knew just what it was he was dreaming about. He's not like this under the toxin; it almost angers me to know that I'm being robbed. Instead of this, I bear witness to his cleithrophobia. This seems so much more personal, and that makes it all the more fascinating.

It doesn't take long before he bolts upright, wide-eyed. A hand flies to cover his mouth. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and opens them again. I can see tears threatening to form in the corners of his eyes. He's never been a crier. He wraps both his arms around himself in an attempt to self-soothe, but it's pointless. His eyes quickly dart to me and then away as if I was meant to do something to ease the suffering, and the worst part is there was a moment when I actually wanted to. It was just a brief fleeting moment, but I had actually wanted to help him as opposed to studying him. I had been having feelings like that about him a lot more lately, and it's been an inconvenience, to say the least. That's not even to mention the amount of times I've thought about him unprompted. It's been happening ever since the beginning of this...arrangement. He's like a worm. A worm that crawls into your brain and won't get out, one that slowly consumes you until there's nothing else left, but really it's him that needs to worry. Crows eat worms.

[soul-8129]

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GAME, STAYED UP TILL 3AM TO FINISH IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND ON THE 2ND RUN I GOT THE 5TH ENDING.

I NEED TO DRAW HIM I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT HIM

HES LIKE A WORM IN MY BRAIN NOW AND NOW MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN ONLY MADE CUS OF THAT GAME