#3E-Accountability.

[anzulvr]

Hello how are you doing today. May I request a E class x reader who runs a gossip page on their class and even the teacher and just likes to start chaos. And know one suspect it them (🤫)

End class x Reader w a Gossip page // small karma-reader moment but can be seen as platonic too.

This account has to be private because the main campus are ruthless, so you do that and follow only class 3E.

Then when everyone starts talking about it Korosensei feels left out and desperately wants to be follow-accepted by the account, he made an Instagram just for it.

His username would be something like @user73637287363828 cause he doesn’t know how to work the app. (Irina teaches him after a while)

They all reply to your posts in the stupidest ways, half of the time they’re beefing in the replies.

@Maehara_Hiroto: My ass looks flat in that angle

@410Ryoma: (reply to Maehara_Hiroto) it looks like that irl wdym?

@Maehara_Hiroto: fuck you.

Your posts vary from:

“Rio has a crush on someone in class 🤫”

to “Korosensei caught following Kayano and Nagisa home.”

YOU POST ABOUT YOURSELF TO NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS TOO

“[Name] can’t stop watching Josh Hutcherson edits.”

You reply on your main account to again lower suspicion

@[your user] Neither can the rest of the world.

@n9kamura.rio: (reply to you) same honestly

@user73637287363828 (aka Koro): [Name] please focus on your class work, this morning you mistakenly wrote his name on your math work, this Josh Hutcherson man can wait.

@[your user] No he can’t.

@akabane_karma: (reply to you) but I can? I’ve been on delivered for 2 hours start typing.

At first they think it has to be a stalker, they go full seek mode

You won’t admit it because you cannot let Terasaka know you’re the one who posted the picture of him petting a stray cat.

Eventually they give up the stalker theory and start suspecting eachother.

“Alright who posted the picture of me getting my arm stuck in the vending machine??” Maehara is actually the biggest victim because he’s always doing stupid shit.

“Now that I think about it… Isogai you were the last person with me!”

“You know my phone was dead right? I told you- ‘hey I have to charge my phone’ and I turn around to see your hand jammed in the machine over a bag of Doritos.”

“…it was hot fries actually.”

You come clean at the end of the year but they got attached to the account and force you to continue :)

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

You know, considering Karma and Nagisa literally got distracted by each other in a life or death situation

And they're pretty touchy feely with each other in 365 days at least

Imagine how annoying these two assholes are with PDA. It's probably maybe slightly intentional on Karma's part (is a nuisance in general, would get some kind of enjoyment from disturbing others) but I also allege he's a bit of a simp. Nagisa just innocently abandons his judgement. I envision 'bickering that's really just obvious flirting' accounting for most of it but still. Touchy feely stuff. They'll end up turning the rest of 3E homophobic (/j).

[vintagerpg]

Another entry in the “Fix D&D” sub-genre of RPG design, this is The Complete Warlock (1978), from Balboa Games. It is essentially a hack of the original white box D&D and, surprisingly, refers to the original text near constantly. Though published in 1978, it was developed in 1976, making it a pretty early example of this sort of exercise. It’s a shame it didn’t get to press earlier — in a case of parallel innovation, a lot of the work here resembles somewhat the final product of Advanced D&D and I think coming out in the shadow of the Players Handbook effectively buried this game.

There are three main topics in the book. The first is a new combat system, because of course there is. It’s overly complicated and not worth discussing, really, except that it uses a resolution table that is similar in its arrangement to RuneQuest and in some ways anticipates design fads of the ‘80s like the universal table in Marvel Super Heroes. There is also a critical hit table. It isn’t as robust as Rolemaster, but it does take into account different weapons and hit locations. Again, pretty early for this sort of thing!

Second is magic, which is overhauled primarily through spells. I don’t think this set of spells is either better or worse. Just different. A little more plainly worded, a little more plausible and conservative in effects. This is probably a good place to note that this book is far easier to read and navigate than the OD&D books.

Third is an overhaul of the thief. This is done by essentially giving them a massive list of thieving abilities to choose at each level, similar to a spellbook. This is pretty cool, works as a better skill system that anything D&D muster for two more decades and actually feels similar to the way advancement is presented in 3E.

Not much in the way of interior art, but what a cover by Tim Finkas, right? So evocative. Love that dragon.

[thydungeongal]

When you talk about games like Odnd 'not balancing encounters' - could you elaborate more on what you mean by balancing? I've seen you mention that not all encounters were meant to be won by the players but to me that doesn't preclude balance. For example even if the players might not win a fight, choosing to not give a room enemies that can trap and insta kill players is still 'balancing'. You're just balancing for 'they may very well need to just run from the fight' rather than strictly 'they will win this fight and expend somewhere in the range of X and Y% of their resources'

I mean old D&D very rarely balanced for either to be fair. Played as written it was entirely possible to run into a room full of instant death bees that theoretically could one-shot a player character.

But what I mean generally speaking when I talk about this difference between older and newer editions is that older editions of D&D don't take party level or party size into account when generating content. Whether you've got a party of four level 1 characters or a party of twelve characters of levels 5-10 your characters might still end up running into 40-400 goblins in the wilderness.

Meanwhile D&Ds 3e to 5e all ask you to take character level and party size into account when generating content for the game. This isn't inherently bad in my opinion, but it represents a shift in playstyle.

Of course in practice what the old D&D approach often means is that starter level characters stick to starter level dungeons until they can take on higher level threats, but even those starter level dungeons are less concerned with the idea of presenting a fair and balanced challenge for the characters that players can expect them to be able to overcome and more just. Random generative bullshit. And players can't ever go in expecting to have a fighting chance against everything. Those instant death bees appear 1d6 at a time in dungeons, 5d6 in their lair.

But yeah the game is kind of balanced with regard to the idea that characters don't ever really need to engage unless they choose to or unless they get unlucky. Whereas modern D&D often builds a bunch of safety nets into combat (not dying immediately at 0 hp, more hit points per character, ready access to healing, etc.) older editions build that balance through having procedures for detecting encounters beforehand, and even if that fails combat isn't always necessary (catching monsters by surprise means automatically being able to evade them, running away is always an option, sometimes the monsters simply don't react with hostility). I guess it's a certain kind of balance, but it's a very different kind of balance from what I mean when I say "balanced encounters," which I broadly use to refer to encounters that are custom built to take into account party size and level with the assumption that under normal circumstances the party should emerge victorious.

[amateurvoltaire]

Recently, after quite a few years, I’ve been skimming through the Twelve Who Ruled, and one thing that really jumped out at me is Palmer's massive crush on Saint-Just. Seriously, a lot of the times when Saint-Just shows up in the book, the descriptions turn almost poetic... Take Chapter 3, for instance. Here, Saint-Just is likened to a shooting star, his striking handsomeness and youth are noted several times, and at one point, the word demigod makes an appearance.

It gets even more obvious when Palmer contrasts him with Robespierre. Poor Maximilien—if it weren't for his undeniable kindness and sincerity, he'd surely be losing the battle.

But was Palmer correct?

Did Saint-Just really patronise Robespierre?

Various accounts suggest as much. Levasseur, in his memoirs, observes, "Robespierre has always been perceived as the head of the revolutionary government. Having been a close witness to those times, I might venture to assert that Saint-Just wielded more influence than Robespierre himself." He further notes, "Closely allied with Robespierre, he had become indispensable to him, and perhaps he had become more feared than he would have preferred to be loved. Their opinions were invariably unified, and if the personal beliefs of one were to be subordinated to those of the other, certainly, it was not Saint-Just who conceded."

Sainte-Beuve(1) shares a telling anecdote: during a heated committee meeting, Saint-Just ordered Robespierre, "Calm yourself; the empire favours the phlegmatic." (« Calme-toi donc, l’empire est au flegmatique. »)

Moreover, another Convention member, Baudot, reflects in his memoirs that Saint-Just possessed "a mind far stronger and more commanding than Robespierre's." (« une tête bien autrement forte et plus puissante que Robespierre»)

So... while 'patronizing' might be a strong term, it does seem that Saint-Just's personality was more domineering. In my view, he was undoubtedly more pragmatic than the Incorruptible, owing largely to his military experience and missions in the field. Saint-Just was a man of action while Robespierre was more a man of the tribune. Coupled with the uncompromising nature typical of youth (who wasn't a radical at 26?), this would likely have rendered him more authoritarian and rigid in the eyes of his contemporaries.

Note:

Sainte-Beuve isn’t a particularly reliable source, but the anecdote seemed interesting.

Sources:

R.R Palmer, Twelve Who Ruled

Sainte-Beuve; Sainte-Beuve, Charles-Augustin. (1865) Causeries du lundi. Tome V (3e éd.) « Études sur Saint-Just, par M. Édouard Fleury.

M.A. Baudot, Notes historiques

R. Levasseur, Mémoires

[prokopetz]

Thank you for the explanation! ❤️ now I’m intrigued, though: Where can I find information on why 4E was published under a more restrictive license?

(With reference to this post here.)

Before we can talk about that, it's necessary to understand what an incredible shitshow 4E's commercial launch was in general. I go over that in some depth here.

Understanding the sequence of events outlined there is important because it dispels one of the most widely accepted wrong answers to your question: that Hasbro and WotC cooked up the 4E Game System License (GSL) because they didn't want a repeat of Pathfinder.

In truth, the 4E GSL is what caused Pathfinder; Paizo was one of a handful of third-party publishers who'd taken advantage of the D&D System Trademark License (STL) to produce officially branded D&D products, and they'd likely have been perfectly happy to continue doing so if WotC hadn't come to them and said "hey, if you want to remain STL-compliant, you need to throw away all of your 3E material and re-develop it for 4E, under a more restrictive license, with zero notice – that's cool, right?"

(It was not, in fact, cool.)

As for why the 4E GSL really happened, there are a variety of opinions on that – a lot of it ultimately comes down to internal office politics, so there may never be a clear answer. As far as I've been able to gather, however, the problem is that the OGL had always served two masters. By all accounts, several of the OGL's principal architects genuinely believed in establishing a creative commons for D&D – but that's not how they sold the idea to the suits at the head office.

Internally, the pitch in favour of the OGL was that it would allow WotC to delegate the creation of D&D supplements and adventures to third parties, allowing WotC itself to focus on core book sales. (i.e., the PHB/DMG/MM trio and the main setting hardbacks.) Core books were always the more lucrative side of the coin, with supplements and adventures serving less as a profit-making enterprise in themselves, and more as long-tail support to drive further core book sales. The prospect of being able to get that long-tail support for free was very tempting, and is likely the main reason that corporate agreed to publish the Third Edition under the OGL in the first place.

The OGL accomplished that, to a degree, but it also resulted in a lot of publishers lifting D&D's rules text wholesale – remember, the OGL allows verbatim copying-and-pasting of rules text, which was its main draw from the perspective of third-party publishers – and stuffing it into their own standalone games. This sort of thing was fairly small-time prior to the Pathfinder debacle, but there was enough of it going on for WotC's new owner, Hasbro, to see it as a thorn in their side.

TL;DR version: in all likelihood, 4E's GSL was an effort by Hasbro to rein in the OGL and return it to the purpose for which it had initially been sold to WotC corporate: an instrument for outsourcing D&D's long-tail support to unpaid third parties while reaping the benefits of that support in core book sales.

(Of course, as outlined in the linked post, what was actually accomplished was to shrink D&D's third-party support practically to nothing while simultaneously creating its own largest competitor; it's a fair question how much of this was due to the GSL itself, and how much of it was due to all the other corporate incompetence and general fuckery attendant to 4E's rollout, but either way, the result was WotC and Hasbro pulling the plug on 4E early, and reverting to the OGL for 5E. It was a learning experience all around – though the present business with the OGL 1.1 leads one to suspect that they didn't learn the right lessons!)

[bleach-your-panties]

⚡mind (and body) fuck 🛸- d.kaminari x fem reader x h.shinsou

⇰n/sfw 18+. mdni. MAJOR dark content warning.

⇰written for @bastardblvd's house of slimy horrors halloween collab.

⇰warnings: gullible reader, mentally ill reader, drug use (weed), electrostimulation, hypnosis, alien abduction, NON-CON, body horror, tummy bulge, use of surgical instruments, instrument insertion, egg retrieval, time-traveling (between present day and 1970's), alternate timelines, trippy shit, misogyny, sexism, sleazy men talk, threesome ig, excessive cursing, slimeball!denki being himself and slimeball!fake!landlord hitoshi, who claims he's a licensed hypnotist. this is degenerate, psychological filth; who wrote this?

⇰(i got the title idea from shinsou's hero name. i think it's mindbreak, but i always say mindfuck lol.)

🛸inspired by the movie fire in the sky and betty and barney hill's accounts of their alien abduction in 1961.

🛸banner images from pinterest/pic collage

🛸banner/animated divider made by me with canva/pic collage.

🛸halloween divider by @/firefly-graphics

🛸4.8k words

▶️: e. t (remix). - katy perry ft. kanye west

▶️: phone home - lil wayne

"You sure you don't want another hit, pretty?" Denki turned his head to ask you as he held the lit blunt, which was quickly becoming a roach, between his long fingers.

Hitoshi, who was sitting to your left, made a small sound of amusement.

"I think she's had enough. Just look at her fucking face."

You're Denki's new neighbor, having just moved down the hall into apartment 3E. After finally securing a day off from work, he decided to do the neighborly thing and invite you over. To get to know you better.

He met you as he was preparing to leave for work one morning.

You looked so lost and gullible, easy prey for him, but if he hadn't have left then, Katsuki would have most certainly put his ass on bathroom duty for being late. 

He'd have to put his quest of getting to know you on the back burner until he had more time.

And now, the day has finally come.

He wasn't very impressed when Hitoshi insisted on coming over the same day to 'work on some maintenance issues'.

Hitoshi is a bastard, a smooth bastard, that always seems to be in competition with him when it comes to nagging hot, unsuspecting chicks and taking them home, filling them up with weed, alcohol, and dick, then giving them the boot.

They even have a scoreboard, and Denki is currently just one point behind Hitoshi right now. Just one measly point.

And Denki planned to use little ole, naive you to even the score.

"What even is in that shit? It smells horrible." The violet-haired man waved his hand in front of his face to waft the weed smoke away from his "delicate" nose.

"You know, I've never seen someone who smokes cigarettes be so sensitive about a little weed. Pussy."

"Pussy? Oh, so now we're name-calling then? If I'm such a pussy, then how come I'm ahead of you right now on the board?"

He pointed a long, black-polished fingertip at the board situated across the room in plain sight. 

The girls that Denki brought back here either had to be dumb, lonely, desperate, or a sad mixture of all three. Not to mention the ones with daddy issues.

“Because you use fake status and promises of discounted rent to get pussy, while I, on the other hand, use my charm and good looks. Not to mention I actually know how to fuck.” Denki smirked and crossed his long arms over his chest.

Hitoshi just snorted and Denki knew that he had won that argument.

A soft moan and a feminine hand on his jean-clad thigh made Denki jump in surprise.

"Shit, I almost forgot you were here, baby girl. Scared the fuck out of me." Denki cooed at you and then snickered.

A steaming hot box of pizza was open on the small coffee table in front of you, along with opened cans of beer and soda.

"You still didn't answer my question, pisshead. What is in that weed and why does it stink so fucking badly?" 

Denki leaned forward to grab a slice of pizza out of the box: Hawaiian-style pizza.

"It's called Pineapple Express." 

 "Oh you just fucking made that up."

"I swear I didn't, but okay." Denki reached across your lap to ash the roach. Your small hand shakily reached out, grabbed his wrist, and rubbed it all the way down to the crease of his elbow, meeting the flannel of his rolled-up shirt.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you tired?” Denki asked you in a thick, honey-laden voice.

What he doesn't know, though, is that he's given you a dangerous mixture. 

A toxin that would soon have you spouting fairytales and complete nonsense.

You looked up at the zig-zag blonde confused, as if you were really seeing him for the first time. 

"Wait, where am I? W-what…what year is it?"

Shinsou raised an eyebrow and shot Denki a concerned look. 

"You're in my apartment, babe, and the year is 2023." Denki answered without missing a beat.

You were clutching his arm now in a panicked state.

"N-no, that can't be right. The last thing that I remember was walking home and then there was this bright, green light and…"

Both males leaned into you mechanically, them wanting to give you their full attention as well as them being eager to hear what you have to say.

"It was like a fire in the sky; at first it was merely a spark against the soot of the night, when all of a sudden, it was surrounding me, a blazing hot inferno, as if I had stepped onto the Sun's surface." You explained with a shakiness to your voice.

"If you even attempted to touch the Sun, you'd vaporize before you could even reach the surface." Shinsou retorted smartly.

Denki seemed perturbed by the story that you're currently spouting, but he also couldn't deny that it had sparked his interest. 

"Leave it to Denki to bring home a crazy bitch and try to fuck…" Shinsou mumbled and reached into his jeans pocket for a Marlboro Menthol Black cigarette.

Said blonde swatted at Shinsou, a silent message for the lavender-haired man to shut the fuck up lest he scare away the barista's latest conquest.

"Hmm, what are you babbling about, sugar tits? There's no such thing as aliens and time travelers." He chuckled gleefully and cradled you closer to him.

How cute and funny you are.

His dick began to stir in his jeans from having you lie against him like this. Your tits spilled over the neckline of your top and brushed his chest.

Shinsou rolled his periwinkle eyes as he continued to smoke his cigarette and watch the wispy smoke curl up into the air. The minty, smoky odor mixed with the fruity one of Denki’s weed.

Those eyes then moved to the floor where your open purse was sitting by his feet. Inside, he could see a couple of pill bottles peeking out.

While you were busy whining to Denki about how you’d supposedly been abducted by aliens in your past life, Shinsou leaned down and scooped the three bottles up to read their white labels.

‘Haloperidol, chlorpromazine, and trifluoperazine. Antipsychotics?’

He rolled the bottles over in his hand then shot another look over to Denki, who seemed to have forgotten that Shinsou was even there.

The blonde's nimble fingers splayed across your back while his other hand rubbed up and down your shoulder.

Your breathing quickened and Denki took that as your arousal coming out, but your chest was constricting; you felt like you might be having a panic attack.

Shinsou stood up off the couch and moved Denki's hand off of your shoulder. Honey snapped up to meet periwinkle.

"What the fuck, dude?" 

The pill bottles shook in his face, making Denki squint as he tried to read the small black writing.

"What is this?"

"Antipsychotic medication! This chick is seriously screwed up! You shouldn't have given her that weed; it's likely the only reason she's falling all over you right now!"

Denki scoffed and rolled his eyes. In his mind, Shinsou is just envious that Denki got to you first, and the lavender-haired man was afraid for Denki to take the lead over him.

"Now when it's my chance to finally get ahead, you want to be a man of morals? Spare me the bullshit, please."

"Forget about the fucking board for a minute! You-"

Denki swiped the bottles out of Shinsou's hand and brought them in front of your face. His free hand moved from your back to your belly and down into the waistband of your skirt.

"Did you remember to take your medicine today, huh, pretty?" He asked with a teasing lilt in his voice. This revelation doesn't change anything for him; he's still hard and still wants to fuck you.

Your eyes refocus on him, only slightly, and you give a faraway nod.

"I did…I think.." 

He leaned forward to set the pill bottles on the coffee table. "Good girl…" He purred like a fat cat with a bowl full of fresh tuna.

Denki grabbed your exposed thigh and used it to pull your leg across his waist. Shinsou didn't miss how your cunt gripped the chartreuse lace of your panties as Denki exposed you to his sunken eyes. He bit his lip.

"You're really going to fuck her while she's like this?" His voice was thick with apprehension. 

Denki didn't falter; he even smirked.

"Sure am...not like I haven't done it before. You got a problem, you can leave. There's the door." He nodded his head behind him to the metal door that leads into the hallway.

Shinsou's jaw clenched; his pride wouldn't let him be outdone by a dumbass like Denki. Not by a long shot. 

Shinsou had to think of a plan and think of one fast before Denki would have your spaced-out ass bouncing on his dick in this very living room. 

"Hey…I've got an idea. If she claims she was abducted by aliens, I'll hypnotize her. That way, we'll know if she's really telling the truth or if she's just a nut."

Denki laughed at the double entendre. "She is just a nut, but I'm interested now. Do you really know how to hypnotize someone?" He asked, looking at Shinsou while standing up from the couch.

"Of course, I'm a licensed hypnotist." Shinsou lied, trying to save face. 

Denki positioned you in a supine position and crossed your arms over your chest.

"I'm going to hypnotize her, not put her in a fucking tomb." Shinsou rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. Just do it, before I get bored. Also, if you think you're going to trick me into giving her up, you've got another thing coming." Denki snapped.

His tone grew darker, possessive. He settled his long limbs onto the coffee table and pushed the cans and pizza boxes off to the side.

"Shut the fuck up." Shinsou mumbled. He walked over to the arm of the couch where your head is situated and stood over you.

Smoke-scented fingers caressed your cheek and jaw. You looked up into Shinsou's eyes and they turned dark like cold, jagged amethysts.

"I need you to relax for me, kitten. Breathe slow and easy, don't force them out. Just let them come slow and easy, just like that. Good girl." 

His hand moved to stroke your hair and your squinted eyes shut completely.

"Keep breathing and slowly begin to count backwards from fifty. Come on, do it for me, baby. I know you can." 

Denki's golden eyes watched with intent and arousal; watching you submit to Shinsou's whim so easily was making him even harder than he was previously.

"50…49…48…47…46…"

Your arms slumped by your sides as you drifted off. 

—--

1976

—--

The crickets' songs were melodious in your ears as you walked through your darkened college campus to get back to your dormitory.

The women's dorms were situated far from the main campus and the only way to get there was through a thick, wooded area.

"Silly me for not watching the time and ending up kicked out on my ass at 8pm at night. So not groovy." You chuckled.

Your platform sandals thumped against the ground, the material of your flared pants swishing over them with every calculated step that you took.

It was a bit of a chilly night, not unusual for your hometown, but tonight oddly seemed much colder.

The breeze ruffled your clothes and you looked up into the obsidian night sky. The moon was high and the stars swirled behind the dark gray clouds like a vortex, waiting to swallow up the wispy bits of condensation. 

"How beautiful…"

Suddenly, one of those stars began growing larger and larger. It seemed to be moving towards the Earth; a comet maybe?

No.

It's much bigger and much wider than a comet would be and it's…spinning.

Hot.

The heat was all around you at once and you were trapped. A mechanical whirring sound reverberated in your ears and drummed against your brain. 

Bright, green light emanated from the flying disk as it landed amongst the trees, crushing many of them under its massive weight. 

The sound of multiple tree trunks cracking and bending under it sounded like multiple whips cracking against flesh and the sound made you wince. You dropped your books and covered your ears. 

"What…this can't be happening right now…"

You whispered softly and clenched your eyes shut. The biting cold was now no match for the heat that had engulfed your entire being. 

You fainted.

—--

We are not the same. I am a Martian..

We are not the same. I am a Martian..

(Greetings from Planet Weezy,

We will begin transmission in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

And if you feel like you're the best go 'head and do the Weezy-wee and

Phone home! (Weezy)

Phone home! (Weezy)

—-

You awoke sometime later in a cold room with steel walls.

"What happened to me..I..what the hell?"

You tried to move your arms, but they were strapped down on either side of your head with thick leather straps.

"What the fuck?! Let me go! Let me out of here! Anybody! Somebody - help me!"

All of your racket must have alerted whoever else was on the ship with you, because the metal door opened, lifting up from the floor slowly.

Purple smoke filtered under the door and two white-robed figures walked in.

You looked at them and they looked back at you. Then they looked at each other and began speaking in a language that your puny human brain couldn't even begin to comprehend.

The two of them looked like regular humans, but you knew that they were anything but.

The shorter one of the two, a blonde with a black zig-zag stripe through one side of his hair, focused on you. 

He was wearing blue visor-like eyewear that shielded his honey-colored eyes from your vision. The man began to approach your bedside and only upon closer inspection did you realize that he was carrying a metal try with various surgical tools on it.

While the blonde situated himself on a stool beside your bed, the other, a much taller man with wild purple hair, matching eyes, and a black mouthpiece concealing the lower portion of his face sat down at the foot of your bed…table…examination table.

He said something else to the blonde, who nodded without looking up from the laptop that he was now typing on.

He moved a slim finger to press something on the screen - you couldn't read the text, it must be in whatever language they were speaking - and you noticed that his skin was a sickly-looking pale green color and his fingers ended in very sharp black talons.

Definitely not human.

—-

We are not the same, I am a Martian

And I'm hotter than summer rain like Carl Thomas

Lock, load, ready to aim at any target 

I could get your brains for a bargain like I bought it from Target 

—-

The purple-haired one seemed content with just watching you, but he began twisting the knobs on the sides of his mouthpiece.

Greetings, human.

The sound rang inside your head like a bell. It didn't seem to have come from his mouth, but since you couldn't see his lips, you really didn't know. 

"I-I…what do you plan to do with me? Please, just let me go home…!"

You pleaded to him, but your cries didn't seem to really affect him. He just continued staring at you, as if you were an insect under a microscope..

An insect that he could easily overpower and crush if you even tried to defy him or his partner. 

We plan to cause you no harm, if and only if you obey us and let us perform some examinations on you…

"W-What kind of examinations?"

The blonde, now finished with his computer work, rose from the stool and grabbed the metal tray.

He joined the purple one at the foot of your bed, having pulled the stool with him to sit back down on.

The purple one said no more, but the blonde reached for your feet and placed them into stirrups at the bottom of the bed.

This setup is one that you're quite familiar with…is he planning to… give you a feminine wellness exam?

Your thoughts on that were quickly diverted once you saw the tools that the blonde had actually picked up.

He wore thick blue gloves made of, what you assumed might be latex, but it had to be stronger or his claws would've ripped right through them.

"No…no no no no…please!" You pleaded, thrashing against the table widely.

In one hand he held what looked like a transvaginal ultrasound probe but on a much larger scale then what you'd find in any doctor's office on Earth.

The blonde spoke again to his companion, his tone coming across as annoyed. 

The purple-haired man slowly rose from his seat and walked over to you.

He placed his large hand atop your sweaty hair and began to gently stroke it in an effort to calm you down.

Hush now, if you don't lie still I'm going to have to sedate you.

Why couldn't you have just done that in the first damn place!?

You wanted to argue back, but thought it less than wise to do so.

The blonde continued on since you seemed to be distracted now. Deciding to not look at whatever he was about to do to you, you focused your attention on the purple-haired man.

He looked into your eyes and his own wrinkled at the corners, like he might be smiling at you. His sharp nails lightly skimmed over your scalp creating a tingling sensation.

Very good, pet. You're doing so well…

He reached behind his head and began to undo the contraption over his mouth.

The last thing that you saw was a wide mouth full of rows of razor-sharp teeth and a long, purple reptilian tongue.

—

We are not the same, I am an alien

Like Gonzales, young college 

Student, who done just flipped the game like Houston

I'm use to Promethazine and two cups, I'm screwed up

And you ain't shit if you ain't never been screwed up

Flow so sick, make you wanna throw your food up

—-

The blonde man pushed the large instrument inside of you and watched from a screen situated above your bed to make sure that he was maneuvering it correctly. 

The large instrument stretched the skin of your stomach so lewdly and the purple-haired man watched it maneuver inside of you, intrigued.

Then, with a very long and very thin needle, the blonde penetrated your belly in order to get to your ovaries and retrieve some eggs.

When he finished, he removed his gloves and washed his hands in a wide, oval-shaped sink made of what looked like pure white marble.  

Your face was covered in sweat and you were breathing heavily, but both men were cooing over you now, stroking your arms and legs while speaking in their strange language.

You didn't exactly remember it, but you somehow ended up back in the forest where you started.

Five days later.

Your roommate, teachers, colleagues, and parents were all worried sick about you, and finally, you were found on the fifth day, curled up in a ball in the middle of the forest.

They were scared that you might have been drugged and assaulted or worse, had a delusional episode and had wandered off by yourself and gotten lost in the forest.

You had no clothes on when they found you; the only thing covering you was a thin blanket made of a shimmery-metallic colored fabric.

The story became a big sensation in your town, but many were skeptical of you because of your schizophrenia.

You went on to finish college and live a pretty successful life, but that one night all those years ago still haunted you..

—-

I never had life and I never had fear

I rap like I done died and gone to heaven I swear

And yeah I'mma bear, like black and white hair, so I'm polar

And they can't get on my system cause my system is the Solar

I am so far from the othars, I meant others

I just eat them for supper, get in my spaceship and hover, hover

—-

Present Day, 2023

—-

"Damn, it really worked…" Denki said in awe as his eyes raked over your still body. "Isn't she supposed to like, talk, though? She hasn't said a word."

Currently, you haven't really said anything or moved much. Shinsou really had no idea what the hell he was doing, but he knew that he hadn't killed you, so all wasn't lost.

"She's so cute, I could give a damn about her stupid alien story." Denki got up from the coffee table and began unbuckling his jeans. 

"Whoa, you're really going to fuck an unconscious girl?" Shinsou asked, a bit taken aback.

The blonde scoffed, "Please, cut the nice guy act, will you? It really doesn't suit you. Besides, I saw her first, so I'm going to fuck her." He shrugged, uncaring. 

"Wait, stop. She just moved. She can probably hear us." Shinsou looked at your face, and sure enough your lips were moving and you were mumbling something.

"Please stop…hurts…let me go…help...someone…" Tumbled out of your Chapstick-coated lips.

"She's probably talking to the aliens, so she's not unconscious." Denki snickered. He elbowed Shinsou out of the way and straddled your legs over the couch. A zipper came down and he was now palming his hard cock in one hand while the other reached to pull your top down.

His hand then slapped your face and you jolted, but didn't open your eyes.

"With that weed, her psycho meds, and whatever the hell you just did, we just made her into the perfect little fuck doll for us to enjoy."

"Us? This is crazy…I can't…" Shinsou cut himself off as he looked at the board again.

If he didn't do this, he would be behind Denki.

He would lose to Denki.

He couldn't let that happen.

"Either we fuck her together or no one does and the board remains as is. So what'll it be, Hitoshi?"

—-

I got a dirty mind

I got filthy ways

I'm tryna bathe my ape (ape) in your Milky Way (Way)

I'm a legend, I'm irreverent, I be reverend

I'll be so far u-u-u-p

We don't give a f-u-u-uck

Welcome to the danger zone, step into the fantasy 

You are not invited to the other side of sanity

They calling me an alien, a big-headed astronaut

Maybe it's because ya boy Yeezy get ass a lot

—-

Shinsou situated himself back at the edge of the couch where your head was.

He pulled his own zipper down and let his dick flop right on out and rest against your soft cheek.

"So soft and warm…" His fingers curled into your hair as he began stroking himself. 

"Bet her mouth is much softer and much warmer." Denki sighed. He was jacking himself off with your pretty lace panties wrapped around his condom-covered cock.

—-

You're so, hypnotizing

Could you be the devil? 

Could you be an angel?

Your touch, magnetizing 

Feels like I am floating

Leaves my body glowing 

They say "Be afraid"

You're not like the others

Futuristic lover

Different DNA

They don't understand you 

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension 

You open my eyes 

And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light  

—-

"Probably right…let's find out." Shinsou huffed breathlessly.

He leaned over you, parted your lips with two fingers, and spat into your mouth.

His cold, thin lips covered yours as he kissed you fully on the mouth, slipping his tongue inside.

—-

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me

Infect me with your lovin', fill me with your poison 

Take me, t-t-take me

Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien 

Your touch, so foreign 

It's supernatural 

Extraterrestrial

—-

After releasing his warm cum all over your pussy, Denki reached for a small box underneath the couch.

Inside were two electric nipple clamps.

"These will really give her the shock of her life." He grinned and attached them to your erect nipples. 

"Wanna do the honors?" He tossed the small, black remote to Shinsou, who was rubbing his swollen cock over your wet lips.

Shinsou pressed a button on the remote and your body jerked from the electric shock, making Denki giggle.

—-

You're so supersonic

Wanna feel your power

Stun me with your laser

Your kiss, is cosmic

Every move is magic

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension 

You open my eyes 

And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light 

—-

"Fuck..!"

"S-shit.."

Both men moved in a rhythm; Denki thrusting into your cunt while Shinsou did the same action with your mouth.

"I'm going to…blow my fucking load..ahh shit, she's so tight for such a dumb slut." Denki groaned, his hips jerking faster and faster, making the couch scrape back and forth against the floor. 

"I'm close, too…fuck…so good…such a good kitten, take all of my cum, now. Drink it all up like a good bitch." 

Shinsou's head flopped forward and he grasped one of your tits while he orgasmed hard.

His cum flooded your mouth and spilled over the sides. The lavender-haired man tutted and used his thumb to push it back inside your mouth.

"Fuck!" Denki shouted and sunk his knees into the couch as he came hard into the condom. He had to catch his breath before he climbed off of you. Your panties were stuffed in his back pocket as he went to trash the condom and clean himself up.

Shinsou sank down onto the coffee table and pulled out another cigarette while he watched you.

It was now evening and the windows had darkened along with the changing sky.

Multiple stars littered the sky outside and the moon shone through the window where Denki had left the curtains open a smidgen.

When Denki came back, you were coming to with a shocked and confused look on your face. 

"It's you, again…it's you! You came back!" You cried. 

Without any care for how you might've looked, you sat upright urgently and wrapped your arms around yourself.

The blonde and purple-haired men just stared at you with bored expressions on their faces. 

They had gotten what they wanted and now had no use for you or any regard for your well-being whatsoever. 

That blonde and lavender hair, those sharp, cunning eyes…they were the same as those from all those years ago…how could you have not noticed it before?

"Stay away from me, you monsters!" 

You threw a pillow from the couch at Denki and he caught it. A smirk covered his lips as he watched you run out of the door with your skirt pushed up your hips, no shoes, no purse, and your hand haphazardly holding your breasts inside your top.

"Do you think she'll tell anyone?" Shinsou asked, smoke curling from his lips as he spoke.

Denki reached for another pre-rolled blunt that had been pushed off the side of the table during your activities. 

"Even if she did, who would believe a crazy bitch like her?"

—-

You ran completely out of the building, into the night.

You didn't know exactly where you were running to, but you knew that you had to get away from there.

Ahh, there you are. We've finally found you, again.

Your head whipped around behind you, where you could see two, tall, robed figures standing there. The moonlight reflected off of that tell-tale visor, while long, skinny fingers clicked and turned the wheels on the sides of a black mouthpiece. 

Our little test subject…

You screamed. 

—-

I know a bar out in Mars

Where they driving spaceships instead of cars

Cop a Prada space suit up out the stars

Getting stupid high straight up out the jars

Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck

Tell me what's next? Alien sex?

I'ma disrobe you, then I'ma probe you

See, I abducted you, so I tell you what to do

(I tell you what to do, what to do, what to do)

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me

Infect me with your lovin', fill me with your poison 

Take me, t-t-take me

Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien 

Your touch, so foreign 

It's supernatural 

Extraterrestrial

----

*ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ!

[aevallare]

hi i love your fanfics, i was just wondering when you first got into forgotten realms/D&D content? was BG3 your first introduction? i love your work but i noticed you never went into depth on Jaheira, Minsc, Elminster, or Volo (even though Auri's dog is named after him!). no shade or judgement of course i just wanted to ask :)

hey i don't mind the question at all! so i played a veryyyy minimal amount of 3e back in the Old Times (i wanna say '07 or '08), a little bit of 4e in college ('13-ish), and i got into 5e properly around 2016 (BEFORE STRANGER THINGS!!! I'M DIFFERENT!!!)

so i've been sort of dabbling in the space for a while. i have familiarity enough with jaheira, minsc, elminster, and volo, as the examples you gave, but the problem is just that there's so fucking much going on in kindred and i want the fic to finish someday lmao. i do insane amounts of research to try not to get things wrong anyway, and the more variables i introduce, the more there is to hold myself accountable for lol

the modern setting is really so much fun, though. that version of astarion is so entertaining. same fucking bitch. a thousand years to heal. adore him. i'm nothing without him

[darklordazalin]

Azalin Reviews: Darklord Hazlik

Domain: Hazlan Domain Formation: 714 BC Power Level: 💀💀💀💀⚫ Sources: Ravenloft Gazetteer Vol 1 (3e), Ravenloft 3.0, Secrets of the Dread Realms (3e), Realm of Terror (2e), Domains and Denizens (2e) CW: Genocide, homophobic hate crimes

Disclaimer: I have been reviewing the Darklords in order of Domain Formation and Hazlik coming up during pride month feels wrong to me but then again hate crimes are real and those in the queer community face them far too often. The older material on Hazlik was questionable, at best, but who can blame the man for wanting revenge against those who hated him because he was talented and gay?

Hazlik, the aging chaotic little "Red Wizard” and Darklord of Hazlan, is a man of many contradictions ruling over a land riddled with ancient magics and straggled with oppression.

Hazlan is an arid land of cliffs and canyons with sparse vegetation where landslides and tornadoes are common hazards. The populace is severely divided with the Rashemani barely having enough to survive on, while the Mulan lavish themselves in luxury. Keeping the oppressed oppressed is the only way the Mulan maintain rule over the Rashemani as they are severely outnumbered.

It should come as little surprise, given his moniker, that Hazlik comes from the world of Toril and was once a Red Wizard of Thay. Typically having a malevolent nature, these “Red Wizards” devoted themselves to the mastery of a particular school of magic. Hazlik’s chosen school is evocation.

Hazlik’s downfall came from his own ambitious nature. He rose too fast amongst the ranks of his fellows and made too many enemies in doing so. One such rival and enemy, the necromancer Thantosya, became his undoing. Though Hazlik attempted to hide his desire for Thantosya’s lover (Ordiab), the two must have found him out.

Ordiab seduced Hazlik and when discovered amidst their passion, Hazlik’s enemies (lead by Thantosya) accused him of assaulting Ordiab. They captured the little evocator, tattooed his head and chest with arcane symbols of femininity (which Hazlik viewed as humiliating) and cast him out of their order then burnt down his estate. They were quite thorough and one wonders why they did not simply kill Hazlik and be done with it.

It’s always curious who our Tormentors single out as Darklords. Thantosya and Ordiab’s crimes were far greater than Hazlik’s, but I wager that having an obsessive nature has something to do with it and Hazlik’s obsession with revenge must have drawn them in.

He spent his forced seclusion on magical experimentation and research in hopes of finding a way to utterly destroy those who ostracized him. I’m not one to hold much weight on chance, but call it what you will, one day Hazlik came upon Thantosya and Ordiab in a small glade while he was gathering ingredients.

He ambushed the lovers, killed Ordiab and forced Thantosya to drink his blood before killing her as well. And with this act of vengeance, the Mists took Hazlik into the Nightmare Lands. There he found himself once more tormented and powerless by those that had tattooed him. He fled back into the Mists and Hazlan formed.

Before the Grand Conjunction, Hazlik was obsessed with escaping Hazlan so he could obtain revenge against those who humiliated him. The death of Thantosya and Ordiab were never enough, he wanted vengeance against them all. Because of his hatred of the wizards who humiliated him, he forbade the practice of the arcane arts in Hazlan, except for himself, of course. Blinded by his hatred for the necromancer that led to his downfall, he has a severe disdain for undead servants and necromancy in general. Well, there’s no accounting for taste…

After the Grand Conjunction and Hazlik's near escape of these misty realms, Hazlik’s views changed significantly. For one, he opened the Red Academy to teach the arcane arts. It is rumored that he saw a glimpse of Toril and his enemies thriving there before the Mists took him once more. Being taken a second time, Hazlik convinced himself that he would never escape the Mists. That’s all it took? Quitter.

Hazlik’s views of magic are in direct opposition to the Church of the Lawgiver which thrives amongst the Hazlani. This church’s doctrine views the practice of the arcane arts as blasphemous. Ridiculous. I will always put more faith in my own knowledge than some ‘greater’ and mysterious power these so called priests worship. Especially in these lands where the gods are clearly absent.

Mostly, Hazlik ignores the church. Perhaps for his own purposes in that their suppression of magical practices by all but Hazlik’s chosen apprentices allows him to study his art in peace and without fear of an ambitious mage attempting to overthrow him? Or perhaps I am giving him too much credit here…

Hazlik sees the Rashemani as being beneath his notice and believes the all Mulan deserve absolute suffering for what they did to him in Toril. Yet, he appoints Mulan leaders to rule settlements in his steed as he ignores the demands that rulership placed upon his shoulders.

Hazlik’s current plans revolve around his favored apprentice, Eleni. For without a new body and his refusal to use Necromancy, he will eventually die of old age and considering he is already in his 80s, well…He plans on taking control of Eleni’s body before that happens so he may carry out his rather elaborate plan for revenge. No longer is he satisfied by destroying those that humiliated him, but he seeks to slay every single Mulan in existence. He spends countless hours researching rituals that will allow him to do just that, targeting the Mulan in Hazlan and in any realm they exist. A bit extreme for a few tattoos and a broken heart…

Hazlik is still tormented by nightmares of his enemies. So frightened by these visions, he spends much of his energy attempting to find magical means of staying awake, but he never succeeds for long and the longer he stays awake he begins to experience waking nightmares, seeing enemies and rivals everywhere.

Despite his misguided disdain for Necromancy, Hazlik is one of the most powerful wizards in Ravenloft and through constant experimentation has created some unique items such as the vat of living clay that allows the creation of a monster sculped from clay every day. He can sense any spell cast within his borders and in most cases identify it. Additionally, our Tormentors were so kind to gift him with an amulet that, upon his destruction, will store his soul within so he is not easily defeated.

[fumiko-matsubara]

Sensing vs Intuition: Explaining the stark differences in Chiba and Hayami's sniping methods using MBTI

I'm back at it again with another essay :D

To put it simply, these two cognitive functions basically determine how each person chooses to absorb and process information. And for Chiba and Hayami, out of all the countless differences that they have, this is by far their biggest.

Sensing is when a person heavily relies on their five senses to absorb as much information about their surroundings as they can. They are extremely observant, sensitive, and they tend to have a wide field of vision, noticing details around them that a lot of people tend to miss. They rely on solid facts and prefer to live in the moment, rather than anticipating the unseen future.

Chiba is a strong sensing type. He has superior spatial awareness, which he uses to accurately determine the distance between point A and point B based from what he could see. He uses his sense of touch to determine the direction and strength of the wind blowing, while taking the light weight of the BB pellets into account.

Hence, he was able to easily take out Kataoka during the 3E civil war even though she was hidden from view and was over 300 feet away. This makes his long distance sniping terrifying, as he almost never misses.

Intuition, on the contrary, is when a person see patterns everywhere and uses that to speculate (guess) what was going to happen next. They can easily make instant decisions because they tend to jump into conclusions immediately after connecting bits of information together.

And because they've been doing this for most of their lives that it comes naturally to them, they're pretty good at guessing what was to come, or at least they feel good about making that guess... even if they have a track record of being wrong.

Hayami is an intuitive type. It might not be most suitable for a sniper to perceive information that way, but it's her superior kinetic vision that makes her pattern recognition ability extremely reliable when it comes to hitting moving targets or hitting targets while in an unstable position, at a near perfect timing.

Basically, Hayami's entire thing is:

"It doesn't have to be extremely accurate like Chiba's. As long as I can shoot and hit at any given moment, it's should be good enough."

A little bit to the left, a little up here, around there, and etc. ー unlike Chiba who takes his sweet time making a bunch of detailed calculations in his head so he could accurately shoot, Hayami doesn't think much about these details. She only estimates where she thinks her bullet will hit and just shoots from there. If it hits, then that's that. If it doesn't, she can just find another opportunity to try again.

Like I said, not really a fitting method for a sniper. Her lack of range and accuracy has been pointed out by people. But it's her "shoot and go" method that allows her to move freely in a specific battlefield like the 3E civil war.

And that covers it!

I could honestly talk more about how Chiba and Hayami's Sensing vs Intuition way of absorbing information isn't just exclusive to their contrasting sniping method, but also extends to their daily lives, how they interact with people, and how they face their problems.

To put it simply, Chiba is a realist while Hayami is a visionary. But this one is a topic I could talk about in another time.

[vintagerpg]

The third and final batch of books in to the Monstrous Arcana line focused on everyone’s favorite brain eaters. They’re one of my favorites — deeply alien and disgusting, they’re stranger than sahuagin and, I think, more usable than beholders (the power differential is partly the reason, but the flayers also don’t seem quite so unknowable as the beholders, perhaps on account of the legs). The Illithiad (1998) is a sourcebook dedicated entirely to answering all the questions about the flayers that are hanging in the air. I am a little exhausted by the Iliad pun, but other than that, this is a fantastic book.

There’s so much! Spelljamming lore, the delightful fusion of psionics and arcane magic, their bizarre mode of reproduction (involving tadpoles and humanoid brains and ewwww), their diet, their schemes and their origins. Much of this material would be imported to 3E in Lords of Madness, and continues to define D&D’s portrayal of mind flayers decades later.

I find the mind flayers to be such perfect villains because they are not mighty. Their era has passed, their slaves revolted. Those slaves, the githyanki and the githzerai, have since become skilled in hunting and exterminating mind flayers, which has forced them to skulk and survive in the shadows. They are awful, alien things that see themselves as rulers of all creation, but in their arrogance can not truly accept that they have been brought low. They aren’t so much a force to topple, but an anathema to stamp out and guard against. I feel like they’re almost, like, a metaphor for something from the real world…

Anyway, great art throughout. I like the fact that they didn’t attempt to streamline the styles of the various artists — we get all sorts of different illithid fits here. I also love Fred Fields’ cover. “Behold this magic brain!”

[thydungeongal]

There's something I really miss about D&D 3e which has to do with it being, at the same time, a step into uncharted territory for D&D (extremely systemic approach to rules) but also a throwback (it was supposed to be a "return to the dungeon").

It was also a step towards combat not just a zoomed out affair but an extremely granular and zoomed in mode of play, meaning that suddenly combat became the most desirable, fun activity in the game.

And there are lots of systems at play here that kind of make for a hot mess of a game but one whose design lineage I feel was cut short. Pathfinder was a successor to it but it has never evoked the same feeling of a system made out of various interconnected parts to me. 4e went in a different direction; a direction I loved to be fair, but I feel there could have been more to 3e's design.

There are lots of flaws to 3e. It's wildly unbalanced. Its designers probably didn't realize what kind of game they were actually making, and thus it has design decisions in it that work against each other.

It's a game that could easily run something to the effect of a tabletop immersive sim with players utilizing the system to the best of their ability and creating emergent systemic interactions, but the most detailed mechanics are still for combat. It's a game where combat is the most desirable activity but that tells the GM to prep some portion of encounters in an adventure as overwhelming for the characters so that players need to actually calculate the party's odds of beating any given challenge. It's a game where the example wilderness encounter tables are set up in such a way that they do not take character level into account and simply just have a preset range of Encounter Levels, but has also de-emphasized escape, evasion, reactions, and morale as ways to avoid fights to death.

It is also the first edition of D&D I ever played so even when my tastes in game design have mostly moved on I will always come back to it.