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had a thought, that maybe grace's reflection should get tiny monstery traits like animal eye shines and sharp teeth,,,, (on top of looking exactly like he did when he killed the other expedition survivor) since grace already sees himself kinda as a monster for what he did
and then i got way carried away
#that was fun#it is now 2:30 though. oops#grace#fred draws#frost in beard was so fun to draw#this guy is actually incredibly normal btw it just looks like that bc grace can't move past the expedition trauma#but it is arguably better adjusted than grace is#this guy would not do nemesis about the whole thing
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guys i think my favorite is subspace. idk tho.
#I PROMISE ILL DRAW OTHER GUYS SOON#i have some broker art ill probably post in a big thing like this soon when i have a lil more#gore tw#ask to tag#subspace phighting#phighting#subspace fanart#phighting fanart#violence tw#ummm. i think he should have a bird#it attacks him like 30% of the time but its nice when it doesnt its name is barrage bc he named it like . an attack you know. loser.#ALSO I MIGHT REDO THE COLORING ON LIKE GIVING HIM ACTUAL SKIN . i think the colors look a little meh like.#i think theyre fine colors i just need to adjust like the toning . pinker maybe
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i dont think ive flat out drawn kikumitsu before but the beast awoke tonight i guess
#p3#persona 4 arena ultimax#p4au#mitsuru kirijo#kikuno saikawa#kikumitsu#kikuyukamitsu#<- mostly for organizational purposes on my part even if the stupid gay archer isnt anywhere to be seen.#quinn moment#quinn drawings#goinjg to be a weirdly long tag ramble sorry i have a lot of thoughts rn it is almost definitely because at the time of writing this its 3a#funfact kikunos back was arched at least like 30% more in the original sketch and i adjusted it after being like well thats scary actually#i produce A Lot about the kikuno/yukari aspect of kym because theyre by far the duo touched on the least in the polycule#i find their dynamic really weird and gay and funny so i doodle about it a lot#but it occurred to me i actually havent touched a whole hell of a lot on the kikumitsu side of things because imo they have the most#like...complicated thing going on?#special and particular relationship one that is beyond friendship. not even in the romantic sense its just that their roles and their#feelings towards each other transcend expectation.#in my little scenario its just really interesting to think about them navigating this shift in their bond. the deep feelings each one had#either set aside for ease or ignored in fear of misunderstanding. bits and pieces of themselves they opted to hide for their own or one#anothers protection. slowly bearing to one another that oh it was never just that i thought you were strong. it was never just that i wante#your happiness. i wanted to be by your side too. always. i am selfish underneath try as i might to never appear as such.#getting used to being able to want. getting used to knowing its not a bad thing to want. changing is scary but its good its ok#i get the impression theyre shy about each other. but also very eager. theyve been holding onto these pent up feelings for such a long time#that its only natural theyd want to be able to express them freely. but they have to take it bit by bit. save for moments where#it just becomes too much to bear i think? and they have to express it to each other immediately and desperately. which is what i wanted to#convey here i think.#god rest your soul if you read through all this it is sooo early in the morning and i have no reason to be getting this sick over#an obscure and underrated dynamic i dedicate unnecessary amounts of thought to
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If your focus, especially main focus, in "inter community" conversations is "other queer people are using MY label wrong, they are invading MY community with their experiences that arent like MINE"... maybe ask yourself why you think you're the most important person in the room, who made you the authority figure (and perhaps, why do you want one to exist in the first place-), and also what else you could potentially focus on that actually helps instead of attacking other queer people for using the famously super clear cut concept of language "wrong" 👍
#god people really ARE reinventing transmedicalism for any identity at every turn#im lucky to generally not see this tm but sometimes i take a wrong turn in a reblog chain and BAM. a blog full of “no ur not actually x”#“and also youre the reason people who arent x hate people who are x” (IN THE YEAR OF 2024???? ARE U FOR REAL?)#anyways im well adjusted and totally not trying to cope for the last 30 minutes bc of stumbling over this shit#queer community#queer infighting
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youtube
I have made a THING! It is a music video to Owl City's song Fireflies!
It is mostly footage I have randomly taken over the years playing Sky children. It was so much fun going through the recordings, so many good memories! And sadly so many friends I dont see any more.
I am really proud of this :D
I hope yall like it too!
#sky children of the light#Music video#Owl city fireflies#Sky children#sky cotl#I have never actually done one if these before!#I worked really hard on it and tried my best!#This is actually version 3 🤣 i got feedback from my friends and adjusted it a bit!#This was so fun but oh man did it take forever! I probably spent at least 40hrs on it!#I have like 1k videos of sky#Most are really short but i am not joking. It took days to go through them and i was fast forwarding a LOT#Most are like 30 secs from switch#But i have ones that are over an hour each#I want to do more of these#I have IDEAS
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#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#Valentino#what are tags? i don't know. i just use them to talk in#my headcanon propaganda: Valentino is a moth. moths have great vision! both day and night vision#however‚ moth's eyes take something like 30 minutes to adjust from light to dark vision (and vise versa)#which i imagine makes it a bit like having your eyes dilated where they can't adjust to brightness levels#(i am already photosensitive and getting my eyes dilated for exams is hell)#anyway. Valentino wearing sunglasses to help his vision‚ but his actual eyesight is pretty good‚ is my headcanon
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because im less breakable than you
#still dont really remember the details of how this ends but still thinking they couldve made laura vampire instead of carmilla human#also keep thinking - as with all the things recently idk why this is a thing now but i gotta keep thinking abt it - that canonically#carmilla died at 18#laura is 19#actresses are 25ish here? it's not a big difference but it is...a little difference#theyre teenagers#they look like teenagers#she fucking died at her first ball hoping to make her first ever friend it's so sad really#but i was thinking abt this too with the iwtv episode where claudia asks armand to turn madeleine and he goes to question her#like certain lines are just so very specifically written i think and they hit so much harder if you adjust their ages mentally#claudia looks 14. shes from 1903 so shes around 40-45 years old?#madeleine's actress is 30ish i believe and i think madeleine is meant to be a similar age#but she looks kind of young. i guess 30 is pretty young actually#armand in the show was turned at 27? assad zaman is 34? close enough i guess you dont have to adjust that much#but in the book hes turned at 17?#like just some lines really hit#when claudia calls madeleine 'some weird white lady i met by happenstance'#imagine a 14 yo talking abt a 30 yo instead of two people who look similar in age#when madeleine calls armand young man when shes like theres nothing left of my era theres been a war#i think she says like 'young man theres been a war'#that 'young man' really hits if you imagine him 17#idk#also still thinking abt yaz. if she looked 19#idk. teenage vampires man#also been reading the book and forever5yo claudia is fascinating too i love her#also can they do telepathy in the book bc i feel like a lot of times in the book it's that claudia is being carried by louis like a 5yo#that she whispers stuff in his ear. and thats always the kind of stuff that in the show they'd use telepathy for#it's a good solution both ways i lik eboth but it made me wonder did they just add the telepathy in entirely in the show?#bc i dont believe theres been any so far in the book
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Calculating characters’ ages so they fit into the timeline of the fic my beloathed.
#Personal#Was Born To Lead#OKAY#If I calculated everything right Felicia might appear in the flashbacks or at least be mentioned in one of the next chapters of WBTL#I pretend she was Elena’s peer or 1-2 years older/younger than her so she’s around 60 years old in season 3#I need the period of her life when she still danced aka when Ricardo was still alive#And I pretend he was around 30-35 when it happened because he actually looks pretty young#Anyway if he was older that’s not super bad because I can easily adjust my characters’ ages a little#unless he was older than forty tho#And if he was younger it makes things a lot more complicated#Ugh integrating your own characters and the ideas you have for them into canon and make them interact with the canon characters is hard T_T#(only if you care about canon otherwise you can easily screw everything up and be happy)#Honestly I didn’t even think of including Felicia but I recently rewatched all the Spirit World episodes#because I need to remember more of the Spirit World lore#(for reasons~)#and I realized that she might complement one of my characters’ arcs quite well#Complement not expand#And generally I’d like to have more canon characters in my fic even if they’re minor#Ajshdkkd and about Flower of Light again#You’re gonna hear the story of my stupidness#So I needed to find a Latin American dance that wouldn’t be a partner dance because I needed one of my characters to dance it alone#And oh my goodness I found zapateado!!! I spent so much time for that and felt so so smart and proud then!#And then I rewatched Flower of Light#Ricardo and Felicia danced zapateado the exact same dance that I found#I completely forgot they already had this dance in the show#I could easily save the time I spent for searching by just rewatching the show T_T#I felt SO stupid then really :’D#I just should rewatch the entire show to pay more attention to all the little Latin American things they put there#It will make my writer’s life significantly easier
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2/3 tours done‼️
#I SURPRISED HER‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#her school kinda sucks though :/ like i get why she loves it but idk its too deep in appalachia for me to feel safe#i saw like i didnt fall in love with a school like 30 minutes further north#main issue with going to school in tbe actual appalachian mountains is that my ears dont adjust to altitude changes correctly#anyway im going to a 70k a year school tomorrow lets hope they offer me a full ride bc im cool and totally have a super high gpa (3.4)#im so much more impressive in state 😭 are you sure you dont want my 4.2 😭
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Modern Luther! He's a kindergarten teacher
#my ocs#original character#luther barclay#in any story where he doesn't end up a prisoner of the town of labomoore#he doesn't get an eye replaced and therefore goes blind at 30#as a child blindness scared him terribly#as an adult he figured at some point his sight would fail him completely and so in a modern au he did what he could to adjust#going to therapy for one#so once it happens he's more at peace#still takes some getting used to#but it's also a happier au so he has a support network and actually ends up with reynard so it's easier#my art
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hmm... i dont want to lock myself in to super long chapters but the need to swap around the chapter breaks to up the drama is so strong
#i've been breaking chapters up approximately every ten pages of drafting so far#which usually word count geeeenerally doubles when i translate from outline to actual writing#so i'm looking at like probably a 6k average wordcount per chapter right now#which i think is nice and manageable#BUUUUUUUUT..... i do prefer to break chapters in terms of plot rather than in terms of length#BUTx2!!!!!!!!! i don't want to lock myself in to really long chapters cus they're kind of tiring.#but x 3 i don't want to slap breaks in for the sole purpose of 'yeah this is long enough cut it here' cus#like i said i prefer my breaks to depend on plot rather than length#idk. either way i'm going to adjust the chapter breaks once i actually finish outlining cus i'll have a better idea of the bigger picture#i'm just kind of publicly musing i guess#i probably will end up committing to longer chapters if that's what it takes to keep the plot broken up in a neater manner#throwback to 2019 when my strategy was 'i'll post a chapter every 2.5k'#can you fucking imagine#the negligible self would have been like 30 something chapters LOL#i did not know what the hell i was doing back then#hence why i imploded and deleted everything lol but we r back and we r thriving baby
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laporta and co orchestrating the most heinous smear campaign known to man against messi and his entourage
#despite my many threats of physical violence on him i'm 150% with jorge messi on this one#he saw what the institution did to messi once and said not again and i respect that#plus i'm honestly having a hard time believing they were /almost/ ready to sign on the saudi deal#messi can't even see himself outside of barcelona due to adjustment issues and you're telling him he was okay with SAUDI ARABIA?#i'm inclined to believe it's all a smokescreen but who knows...#again i perfectly understand the anxiety and desperation from messi's side bc those european clubs won't be waiting for him forever#they have other transfer targets and squad planning in mind too#and messi himself has to think abt his kids#so if (and huge if btw i think barça will happen actually) barça can't pull thru for him he's stranded AGAIN#already it's been said that they can't register him before july 1 bc he has a contract with psg until june 30#so it's already not looking good bruv#atp all we can do is watch this dumpster fire of a transfer saga unfold before our eyes while screaming crying throwing up#thank god he won the wc if he's forced to r*tire at least his legacy won't be that of an international bottler anymore lol#(said while coughing blood)
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girl my trial of not being a dunmesh hipster about all the anime-come-latelies is so difficult but I will endure
#my emotions are 40% pity that they won't experience the masterwork art of the manga#30% resentment that they didn't read the manga and have 0 respect#and 30% actual well-adjusted joy that they are gonna experience at least a version of some of the best work in the medium in years
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god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh
#toy txt post#it doesnt feel quite right to me...........#maybe im just a Morning Person. lol. lmao even#idk how much that is true vs in high school i felt very much like a morning person bc#i was taking my adderall with coffee and then it would all wear off right at the end of the day and id crash soooo hard and have like.#anxiety attacks every night and just be generally overstimulated and irritable as hell#which is mostly managed now by me trying to be smarter about caffeine consumption (amount + when) and on a lower dose of adderall#but it does feel like a lot of that shit mentioned would be adequately covered by like. being able to take time off work to go to the#doctor etc. idk#im half joking these days when i ID as a morning person but legally none of you are allowed to get up my ass about it🔪#bc of the nocturnal bullshit i pulled on second shift for like 3yrs after everything around me decided to start closing early after the#pandemic hit even tho theyve re lifted every other miniscule precaution they ever enforced#probably bc no one wants to work night shift at the grocery store for like 12$ an hour. fucking offer better pay idiots#god even when i was a package handler working the super inconvenient hours of 3am-like. 9. 10am(inconvenient my ass that was ideal hours.)#the main reasons ppl left for other jobs: hours suck and they got offered better pay. they cant adjust the hours. so they shouldve#increased the pay to retain. and maybe have more structured start and end times that were less up in the air#like all the drivers leave at 9am so if theres anything left on the truck thatll be for tomorrow. since that fuckin happened anyway. idk.#honestly wouldve been more important to me to have consistent start times cos thats one of the things that pissed me off about that job was#like youd go in and before you left youd have to ask what the start time would be tomorrow cos they kept jumping all over the place by like#15min increments and like its once thing to do it on occasion to try to deal with like Bad Weather but it was like fucking Daily#and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard. but sometimes they wouldnt. and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard#and leave it up there forget to erase it and it would still be there but they told you as you walked out actually its not 4:30 tmrrw its 3#idk. i know the main real reason i miss it is cause it was part time and the day ended at like 9am usually
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pros of starting T: many in the long term
cons of starting T especially during a streak of anxiety-caused health issues: wondering if I'm about to die every time I get a new symptom
#i also got the flu shot on the same day but it was 10 days ago now#and then i kid you not the next day my dad got the flu so i was under stress until i left catsitting yesterday#first i had increased heart rate and palpitations#then it got better and then it came back but just the palpitations the HR is not as high as the first couple days#then i had Feeling Unwell kinda like nausea in the upper chest but no wanting to throw up#and now on top of all that i woke up at 3:30 dealing with a dry hot flash#im overheating under the blanket but im cold outside of it so that with the anxiety i haven't been able to go back to sleep#OTL#it has to be my body adjusting to T + stress!!! Im not dying!!!!!! [KNOCKS ON WOOD]#bee rants#googled and actually might not be a hot flash because they're not supposed to last this long weeeee 🤪#it's been two hours and a half can i feel normal again please#before i actually start freaking out
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Yknow I gotta say, I love sewing and a lot of ppl find a lot of body confidence or whatever from sewing. But for me I never felt bad about my body until every pattern I find is telling me I'm meant to have a 26 inch waist.
#I have a 30 inch waist for reference (I would use cm but none of these patterns use them!! Driving me nuts!)#(26in=66cm and 30in=76cm so you can see why I might feel a bit bad lol)#It's just frustrating bc it literally makes what I love doing SO much harder bc I can't fit standard sizing#And it makes certain things look SO weird on me#Like I'm lucky that I don't have to go through the hell plus size ppl have to but damn I just wish my proportions were normal#The reason my waist is so wide is bc I have high hips so I have hip dips and my waist measurement is basically the bottom of my ribcage#Which is so hellish bc if things are too tight around my waist or designed to compress it HURTS so bad and I can't breath#ON TOP OF THE SENSORY ISSUES!!#So I have to shorten patterns and expand the waist a full 10cm or bring in the bust 10cm#And I always just end up looking like a rectangle and not in a deliberate or nice way#Like I got into sewing bc I wanted things to FIT ME and I THOUGHT I was fine but turns out!#Fuckin everyone is a goddamn hourglass and I'm misshapen or some shit#And it fucks me off bc the only time I see ppl make adjustments its to expand the bust like everyone I see making these patterns#Is an hourglass and it drives me nuts bc still nothing fits me right and I'm a novice and it's so much extra work to try desperately to#get things to actually fit and I've never felt so bad about my body in my entire life#It just kinda sucks#Vent#Body image issues#Yeah damn not even cotton on made me feel so shit about myself#I think this is bc it's not even a beauty standard it's just a practical issue that makes things harder to do#Yeah sorry for the whining I'll probs delete bc this is so embarrassing like imagine complaining bc you don't have a tiny waist#That's so vain#But fuck I just need to get this out and if I talk to mum (only person I have to talk to) it will end w her yelling at me#I love her but she makes me feel worse about everything#Just super sucks bc I can't even use a garment designed to compress the waist#So then I don't have to modify every single goddamn thing#Just gonna be a sad rectangle forever
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