toxix-lullaby

[toxix-lullaby]

Being NPD w ASPD traits , having haphephobia and generally having a rough time communicating VS my deeply rooted obsession with my beloved.

Fight.

(Next time i see her i will 100% just freeze up and tell her shes a bitch.)

[toxix-lullaby]

Letting my head run wild... Convincing my beloved to do something without ever directly asking...Making his guilt control him until his dick does.

{Full fantasy under cut =) }

I fall into a puddle,Maybe he shoved me a little too hard while play arguing...the snow's already too cold, and my beloved rushes me back to his house, where its warm.

You know, you lose heat 25 times quicker when wet, It's better if I strip,It's just so I don't get sick, wrapped in his coat and blankets, his smell making me wet already.

He cant keep his eyes off me but he needs to make sure im okay. He ends up too worried about making sure I don't get sick to notice when I pull the too long sleeve of his hoodie over my hand, grinding my clit into its fabric. When he looks back finally, his head slowing down, he sees the small whines, the ways my hips shift.

Hes surprised, but his hands twitch softly, and when I promise him i couldn't stop myself, its just to warm myself up, he cant find it in himself to argue, sitting next to me just to make more heat. He tries so hard to keep his hands to himself.

I could crawl on his lap, my arms around his torso. Rolling my hips against him, trying not to giggle at how hard he'd get, trying not to touch me. He wouldn't feel like he deserves too, with the way I'm still shivering occasionally, and my skin was so cold when he brought me in.

Id make such a pretty mess on his shorts, the evidence of how badly i want him making a dark wet spot.

Hed hopefully give in eventually, hands on my hips, guiding me or finally just pushing me down and using me. Nipping my neck, all my exposed skin.

Maybe id moan a bit too loud, get so needy i begged, it doesn't matter.

Hed manage me however he pleased, fill me with his warmth, over and over, telling me how he had to make sure I was warm enough, a stupid excuse just to keep his hands on me.

Just...Mmm wanna use my beloved's protective tendencies to my advantage. Watch him fight with his want to protect me vs his want to put me in my place.

A girl can dream.

[toxix-lullaby]

No particularly insane post today.

I just wanna wrap my fingers with his. i want to feel his breath.

I want to hold him.

I want to let him touch me and know that i know he wont harm me.

I love him so much i think it makes my heart hurt.

[toxix-lullaby]

[toxix-lullaby]

sometimes i long for something overly domestic, cuddling, small kisses in exchange for something, hand holding; and other times i long for that animalistic obsession, the kind that youd see in media, where wed kill for each other and would keep each other homebound and forget everything besides the other didnt exist. i wish wish wish i could have somebody willing enough for both, willing to have me and handle me

[toxix-lullaby]

The thought of harming you is both terrifying and arousing. I fantasize about breaking you down emotionally and physically, all while wanting to love and care for you softly.

[toxix-lullaby]

There is nothing casual about me. I would split myself open so you could taste my blood, if you asked.

[toxix-lullaby]

THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME THINK ABOUT ME

THINK ABOUT ME AS MUCH AS I THINK ABOUT YOU!!!!

[toxix-lullaby]

My beloved isnt friends with these people anymore. W for past me.

(Unrelated to me being insane they just turned out to be cringe as hell)

Stop paying attention to that. pay attention to me. me me me me me me me.

I hate your other friends. they make me feel fucking sick. Mine. Mine.

[toxix-lullaby]

Violently pulling my own throat out and screaming.

I forget i adore him and then i get to see him again and I lose my gd mind.

[toxix-lullaby]

sorry for being such a freak to you since the moment we met . i just like you a lot

[toxix-lullaby]

do you mind if i tie you up and keep you locked in my room? i'll be gentle with you, i promise! only if you want me to be. what color rope do you want? i think white would look pretty! white is a pure color, it's just like you!!

you'll look so pretty bound in rope, perfectly trapped and helpless, like a beautiful doll wrapped in thread made of pure love! then, i'll get to keep you all to myself!! ♡♡

[toxix-lullaby]

hey babe, not to freak you out or anything, but i’m like. obsessed with you to the point of insanity. do you still love me?

[toxix-lullaby]

A love language

[toxix-lullaby]

I love love love when my beloved says ill have him for a whole day, and then he doesn't even text me, and instead hes probably out with some bitch i dont know, who Slept Over With Him After A Dance.

I'm actually violent.

[toxix-lullaby]

I miss my boyyyyy. I miss my boyfriend. Life is unfair and horrible and i am going to keep him forever because he really doesn't pay enough attention to me and thats mean of him!

[toxix-lullaby]

To you? hes busy with his friends and homework and cleaning.

To me? hes mad at me. or cheating. or mad and cheating.

i am a sane and normal being<3