#30 flirty and thriving

[subpixie420]

Birthday cigar from my 13 going on 30 birthday

[flippphones]

Squirty 30s

[lavaa-baby]

Can’t believe my body actually looks like this wow 🥹

[thesugarjar]

Here’s to being 30, flirty, and thriving 🖤 don’t forget you can follow me on instagram. TheSugarJar9 is my handle!🫶🏼

[knifeforkspooncup]

When ur drawing Crowleys and can't help occasionally 13-going-on-30-ifying her.

[deenadraws]

13 going on 30 came out 20 years today! This rom com has definitely stood the test of time and has such iconic looks, it was so hard to narrow down which ones to include. Here’s to a great rom com heroine!

[wefashionablyfutile]

🌟 Happy 30 Flirty & Thrivin Mr.Fender🎸♥️🎁

[imawitchywitch]

Sometimes I feel like a failure because my siblings are both happily married and have houses and fur babies. But also how lucky am I? I get to frolic! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want! I will likely just be watching TV and baking cookies, but yay me 💕

[heatherandthistles]

Best way to celebrate your 30th birthday, beach and sun ☀️

[princeofjinhae]

it says "it's my birthday, please congratulate me" 😭😭😭😭

[anonymoussong]

It's my birthday~ Officially 30!! 🥳🎂🎉

[fairly-tragic]

It was my birthday the other day. You are now looking at a newly 30 year old hooligan 🎀

[angel-with-a-bow]

i’ve officially made it to ‘hot auntie’ status #30yearsyoung

[lavaa-baby]

[solemnlyswear93]

This weekend will be the last one I’ll have in my 20’s (still coming to terms with it 🙈) and I feel like I need to do something “big”, but I really just want to curl up with snacks, my best friend, the K-Drama I’m watching, and too many tacos. 🥹🥲

[comfort-zone-magic-zone]

Imagining My Ideal Self

So, for the past 3 nights, I have been unable to stay asleep. I go to bed at a decent hour and then wake up between 2:30AM and 3:30AM. I do end up back asleep eventually but today is taking longer so I thought I would do some reflection.

As I stated in a previous post, I have turned 30 and am trying to live more for myself and set better boundaries. I started the former in a small way yesterday by taking myself out for lunch. The latter I am working on with my therapist.

Today, I want to do some imaging. I reblogged this post the other day and I want to go through the questions for myself. See what I can answer and what I can’t. Anything I can’t answer is where I need to focus on as I plan 2025.

What does your ideal self look like? This one I have worked a lot on over the years and I am slowly becoming her. Since losing 100 pounds, how I dress and carry myself has shifted. My ideal self looks effortless and put together no matter what she has on. Outfits come together seamlessly; matching sets, clean shoes, microlocs neat, carefully placed accessories, and light makeup. Due to budget constraints, I have slowly eased into this. My gym clothes typically match as often as I can. I try not to wear sweats too often outside the house, and if I do, I elevate it with clean sneakers and accessories. I am keeping the weight off and it will stay that way. I do have a goal for skin removal surgery for an even more trimmed look.

What does your ideal self smell like? Well clean obviously. I haven’t found my signature scent yet. The bottle perfumes I have don’t last as long as I like and these oils my mother gave me (the New York style roll-ons that you can’t ever find again) are a bit too strong at times. I would like a floral/fruity scent I think. Something that reminds me of femininity, easy life, and sunshine. Goal 1: Find a signature scent.

How does she laugh? I like my laugh when I do it. I have been told that my smile and laugh are genuine and make people feel good. I don’t want to reduce myself to faking a laugh or acting coy. When I laugh, I want to feel good and others to feel good.

What is her energy like? Oh, this is a tough one and one that I am working on. I have been told that the vibe I have is soothing. The person who told me this has typically seen me in environments where it takes me a long time to get comfortable. I try not to bring negative energy even if I feel it. I rather sit alone and go nowhere than bring bad energy  to an area. I have been told that I bring sunshine and light into spaces. I like that energy. However, when people ask me how I am, I usually respond that I am tired. Lately I really have been, however, that is not the energy I want to give off. Goal 2: Bring the energy I want to feel into the space I am in. No more “I am tired” answers.

What type of house does she live in? My dream home is so expensive right now. Currently, I rent a town home with my mom because life is happening. I don’t know how long we will live together, but I will always make sure my mother is okay. I have been thinking in the last few weeks when I would like to buy a home. The answer is I don’t know, but when I do, it will be amazing. I want a wrap around porch that looks out into a yard. There is a perfectly placed sunroom to be warm (not hot) in the middle of the day. The sunroom will have an exit to the backyard where there will be a firepit/grill area. Did I say this is a two story home with a finished basement? Entering the from the front door is a mudroom to one side and a small library to the other. Mudroom is for coats and dirty shoes. I haven’t decided if shoes will be allowed in my home yet.  The library will double as an office but it will have a bay window and comfy seating. Walls will be shade of burgundy or purple or green to allow it to be dark when I want it to be but bright the minute the window currents are open. The living room will be comfortable for hosting but most family time and game nights will be spent in the basement. A guest room will be on the first floor for older family members or my mom if she is still with me. The kitchen is special. An island, double oven, gas stove, and plenty of space. Sometimes I don’t mind people being in the kitchen with me. I want enough space in the kitchen to allow that. A walk-in pantry will be there. Now the debate is whether the laundry room should be on the first or second floor. I am a fan of the second for ease but first so I don’t hear it. If it is on the first, I want a laundry chute and the room has to be off the mudroom. The second floor is for bedrooms obviously. Master has its own bathroom with an amazing shower set up. The total number of rooms depends on how many kids I have. Ideally, I also want a garage with a gym attachment as well. Goal 3: Decide if I want to buy a house and when.

How does your ideal self react when things don’t go the right way? This is something else I am working on. Lately, the stress of work has been making me react harsher than I want to. On Thursday, I had to get up and go to my car to cry in anger. My therapist tells me I need to feel instead of rationalizing. Sometimes, in the moment, you can’t feel. I don’t want to raise my voice or use poor vocabulary. I don’t like yelling at bad drivers but I do it. I want to react with grace until I am able to feel. Walk away and let no one take pleasure in how I react. They don’t need to know. Goal 4: Learn to react with grace.

Now that I have this image in my head of my ideal self, I am going to work on habits and activities that could lead me to being her. That is a post for another morning…I think I can fall back to sleep now.