#3 days a week mandatory
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amaranthsynthesis · 9 months ago
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fancy office coffee machine has no beans and only lets me make hot chocolate why am i even HERE
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deadmomjokes · 4 months ago
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Yes I know that growing older and gaining independence is inevitable and a good thing and we lucked into one of the best school zones in the area and she'll have friends and so on and so on
but have you considered
that's my child and I'm going to miss her! That's my little buddy! She'll be gone all day! What do you mean that's 8 hours that I don't get to see her growing and learning and being a little person and I only get a few hours at the beginning and end?
No joke, school system is busted, that's the equivalent of a full-time job and she'll barely be FIVE. Who thought this was okay?
I'm gonna miss my little bean :( :( :(d
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stellorc · 2 years ago
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briefly leaving my cave to throw a wip here
I've been feeling weird with my art and life in general so I took refuge reading and playing stardew valley for the past few weeks. The weirdness isn't completely gone but it's not as haunting as before.
Anyway, please have this snippet of my beloved baby Revan being her broody teenage self. It's nowhere near to be finished but I'm having fun with the process.
With that said, hello to the new (actual!) people who have stopped by this mess of a blog and decided to stay. And to everyone who is still around, a big pat on the head. Thank you all so much <3
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what-even-is-sleep · 5 months ago
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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celestial-sapphicss · 7 months ago
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flexible hours just means work 24x7 and i hate that actually <3
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robobee · 2 years ago
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I hate group projects so goddamn much but I especially hate mandatory UNI group projects where you have to RECORD VIDEO in a SCIENTIFIC THEORY CLASS & there's no class group or anything u just Have to have decided partners & told her BY THE NEXT DAY like... I don't fucking know anyone here!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!
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mashmouths · 1 year ago
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yoooo i'm dj crazy times and if you want myself to be killing? have some noise 😎
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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I have 14 days of holiday booked in the next 3 months and somehow still have another 11 left to take this year... tempted to give myself a 3 day weekend every weekend until the new year. hm.
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evermorecountsastherapy · 6 months ago
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y'all I just procrastinated an assignment for the past 2 hours that literally took me 7 minutes to complete and hand in... like what... what is so wrong in my brain chemistry that I am like this...
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bweirdart · 2 months ago
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nearly oc-tober time again - time for some prompts for 2024
F.A.Q
do i have to draw?
not at all! you are free to participate with any medium that suits you... writing, artwork, free bases and templates, simple text posts, in-character-as-your-oc roleplay, whatever! (just no stealing or AI)
do i have to make new content?
nope! re-uploading old stuff that fits the prompts is allowed (and encouraged) ... old art that didn't get the appreciation it needed always deserves a chance to be shared again, it's a fun throwback!
do i have to post every day?
nope! only 10 days are mandatory (the ones in red with a star symbol) and everything else (yellow) is 100% optional! if you're busy or tired, please skip as many as you want
can i start early?
you can prep your posts in advance if you need to ... but please wait until the right day in october to share them!
can i re-upload your prompt list to another site?
i would prefer if you dont - i have accounts on most sites, so just reblog/retweet/share from me!
event tag?
#bweirdOCtober
have fun!
image desc/text version ↓under the cut↓ or on bweird.art/october
prompts:
WEEK 1: OC INTRODUCTIONS
⭐ 1: FAV OC
what makes them your fav?
2: NEW OC
how recently did you make them?
3: OLD OC
how long ago did you make them?
⭐ 4: UNDER-APPRECIATED OC
an oc you feel like you don't talk about enough, or you haven't fleshed out as much as you would like
5: RE-DESIGNED OC
an oc who has changed a lot (what changed about them?) or, if you haven't redesigned an oc: is there anything you might want to change about an existing oc?
WEEK 2: BUILDING BACKSTORY
⭐ 6: PAST
where is your oc from? what did they look like as a child?
7: LIKES
what do they like (and why?)
8: DISLIKES
what don't they like (and why?)
⭐ 9: RELATIONSHIPS
doesn't have to be romantic! can any kind of relationship (frienship, family, rivalry etc)
10: PERSONALITY
what are your oc's main personality traits
11: SYMBOLISM/THEMES
what represents your oc? is there a specific colour you associate them with, or a specific animal?
12: FUTURE
what will your oc look like in the future? do they have any plans or goals?
WEEK 3: FUN + GAMES
⭐13: MEMES
do any memes remind you of your oc? are there memes your oc would find funny? maybe you want to redraw your oc as one?
14: WHO/WHAT INSPIRED YOUR OC
are there existing characters that your oc looks like? was your oc based on yourself? is your oc originally from a specific fandom?
15: MUSIC
share a character playlist, write a songfic, post lyrics that remind you of them, etc
⭐16: EYES CLOSED or NON DOMINANT HAND
draw a picture of your oc with your eyes closed or with your non domminant hand, write or type a paragraph about them without your eyes closed, etc ... have fun, and don't worry about it looking "bad" -it's meant to!!
17: DnD ALIGNMENT CHART
put all your ocs into a DnD alignment chart, or any other similar chart if you prefer
i've compiled a few templates on my site, but you can find more easily if you google "oc alignment chart"
⭐18: SWAP
swap something between your ocs - their role in the story, hairstyles, personalities, fashion taste, species ... whatever you want! how would this difference change them?
19: PALETTE CHALLENGES
draw your ocs with as many of these colour palettes as you want (or just skip if you don't draw/don't like doing these!)
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hex codes for the colours:
palette 1 - #3C1E81 #6D1EA2 #B059E8 #FE0876 #FE5284 #FE7C96 #E0CFE3 #FFD5C3
palette 2 - #352823 #673F28 #AB541C #BA8233 #897128 #A68B2F #F7BF6A #DAC3A4
palette 3 - #A42E25 #D7412B #E47C29 #F7A233 #FCC02D #FCE4A6 #486548 #FEFDE8
palette 4 - #2F4769 #39597E #53779C #94D1E7 #AADDE7 #D48DB7 #D498B5 #D2BABA
WEEK 4: COMMUNITY
20-26: A WHOLE WEEK OF SOCIAL STUFF
if you don't have the time/energy to do every day this week, ⭐ day 23 is the only one marked as mandatory! you can skip the rest!
some ideas for what you could do: talk about a friend's oc you like, make gift art/writing of them, collabs, trades, reblog/appreciate ocs in the event tag, make interactions between your ocs and other people's
WEEK 5: HALLOWEEN
⭐27: FEARS
is your oc scared of anything? do they have any phobias? are they startled easily? would any of your ocs try to scare ppl on purpose?
28: MONSTER
what would your oc be if they were a monster (eg: werewolf, vampire, eldritch beast.. whatever) or, do you have an oc who is already a monster?
29: PUMPKIN CARVING
your ocs carving pumpkins, a drawing of a pumpkin carved to look like your oc ... or even carve it in real life!
30: GHOST
this can be literally a ghost, or a concept that haunts your oc! up to you!
⭐ 31: COSTUMES
what are your ocs wearing for halloween?
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bunnys-kisses · 4 months ago
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how can i take your order? all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and driver/character of your choosing! are you in the mood for a mille-feuille or a big slice of chocolate cake! please, please, please indicate who you want me to write about!!
the servers are from the following: formula one, call of duty, baldur's gate 3, haikyuu, one piece, jujustu kaisen, detective comics (dc), marvel comics (but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!)
i do also accept polyam relationships! (pairing + reader), up to about four people! just to make it manageable on my end!
all orders can be made to the inbox for @bunnys-kisses and i'll get your order together asap! also let me know if you want it extra sweet or a little more spicy !
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mille-feuille: “that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”
butter tart: "let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."
sugar pie: “gonna let daddy hear ya?”
zebra cake: "well, what do we have here?"
carrot cake: "swallow it. all of it."
millionaire shortcake: "if they saw you now, you'd be the biggest shame to your family."
pots de crème: "if a picture is worth a thousand words, then i could probably get a million dollars for this photo."
oat flapjacks: "i'm not scared of you."
persian rolls: "it's mandatory i finish. you getting to finish is a treat."
spice pie: "i didn't know it was possible to be a liar and a slut."
mushroom pie: "if you don't shut up. i'm going to shut you up."
lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making."
swiss roll: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."
pumpkin pie: "i've met strays who were more obedient."
pastry braid: "your job is to make me cum. now get to work."
sausage roll: "i wonder how much i could get for photos of this cunt."
pithivier: "if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you."
tiramisu: “my little slut to ruin.”
sponge toffee: "aw, is someone mad that they can only cum because of me?"
pull-apart bread: "i love you"
powered sugar donuts: "marry me."
blueberry bars: “gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.”
pudding chomeur: "i don't share."
ice cream bars: “did you see the way he was eyeing you? he need to know you're mine."
chocolate cake: "do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."
soufflé: "i'll be gentle."
fried dough: "i know virginity is a stupid concept... but i want to take yours."
apple pie: "now be good and beg. thank you."
vanilla cheesecake: "where are your manners?"
berry trifle: "wrong. try again."
maple cream pie: "either you wear the necklace with my name on it, or wear my bruises around your neck."
s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?"
belgian waffles: "i cum in that every night."
pancakes: "if you bite me. i'll bite you back."
loaf of whole wheat bread: "you're going to shut that mouth and take me."
jos louis: "does someone need a daddy?"
maple taffy: "oh my god you're stupid."
snowballs: "don't worry, drug tests aren't till next week."
shortbread cookies: "and who does this belong to?"
flan: "i'm not possessive... i'm obsessive."
peach cake: "if you spill a drop, we start all over."
angel food cake: "if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."
red velvet cupcake: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."
mince pie: "i'm not jealous."
banana bread: "i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name."
crumb cake: "if you just listened, all of this could've been avoided."
chocolate chip cookies: "you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat"
nanaimo bars: "who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."
coffee cake: "knees. now."
sourdough bread: "i'm going to breed you."
blueberry muffins: "i don't think it'll fit."
pound cake with strawberries: "you know i hate going over rules, but just because i like seeing you embarrassed, i'll tell you them again."
croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."
crepe: "pretty girl."
french toast: "you're trying to make me jealous!"
churros: "if you don't shut that little mouth of yours, i will stuff it full. okay?"
shortbread squares: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."
savory pastry: "let your brother find out."
sweet pastry: "i'll make it all better."
eclairs: "the family's precious little girl. under me like a slut."
boston cream pie: "yeah, i'll use protection."
bagel: “gonna paint you with my teeth.”
crostata: “stupid slut, this is what you wanted huh? wanted me to fuck you like i hate you.”
tres leches: "i wonder if your brother know i cum in you."
peanut butter bars: “scratch me, bite me, just mark me sweetheart. show them I’m yours.”
eton mess: "be careful. your breath smells like cum."
scones: "but what if they see us!"
english muffin: "aw, is someone crying?"
honey cruller: "i forget how small you are sometimes."
banana split: "don't look at me like that."
beer brownies: "stick your tongue out anymore and you'll look like a dog."
fudge: "your father is pissing me off."
sticky toffee pudding: "the only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."
hot cross buns: "don't hide your face from me. i'd hate to have to tie you up."
brownies: "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."
chocolate mousse: "the only necklace you need is my hand around your throat"
tim bits: "stupid little thing."
fruitcake: "i'll make tonight special."
cornmeal muffin: "i need you most."
devil's food cake: "you're my most unhealthy obsession."
crème caramel: "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?"
banana & chocolate muffins: "i'm only doing this because you need to learn how to behave, rules are rules, and you need to follow them."
custard tart: "i've never done this before."
cinnamon rolls: "no one needs to know."
mango sorbet: "you are by far the dumbest thing i've ever fucked. how did they even let you graduate?"
date squares: "you look better with my marks on you."
figgy duff: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"
spicy upside down cake: "let's play a game: don't get caught."
cream puffs: "let me finish inside."
profiteroles: "come away with me. for a week, together. anywhere you want, we'll go."
with a side of:
coffee: rivals
tea: semi-public/public sex
juice: cockwarming
mocha coffee: breeding kink
bubble tea: daddy kink
a vodka shot: rough sex
sparkling water: gentle sex
coconut water: alternate universe
energy drink: doggy style
champagne: sugar daddy situation
hard lemonade: possessive behaviour
espresso shot: dirty talking
a glass of wine: cowgirl position
ice capp coffee: werewolf au
bloody mary: vampire au
martini: mafia au
frozen latte: dumbification
frozen lemonade: consensual non-consent
cranberry juice: mean!character
glass of water: aftercare
chocolate milk: tenderness
milkshake: size kink
pina colada: pregnancy
cider: body worship
mai tai: loss of virginity
margarita: unprotected sex
mint julep: punishments
chai: biting/hickies
earl grey: big cock
fishbowl cocktail: protected sex
tonic water: age gap
matcha latte: collars/bondage
root beer: filming/recording
soda: jealousy
americano: oral sex
whisky: degrading language
vitamin water: dom/sub dynamic
irish coffee: high sex
sangria: drunk sex
dark roast coffee: sub!character
dark hot chocolate: sub!reader
iced tea: accidentally launching relationship
lemon water: university/college au
naked & famous: bimbo/ditzy!reader
on the house: author's choice!
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ORDER UP!
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foone · 5 months ago
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I think America could be significantly improved if we treated being on game shows like jury duty.
Like once a year you get a letter in the mail from the government and find out you're gonna be on Wheel of Fortune in 3 weeks.
You could go to a court and get a dismissal or rescheduling if you're gonna be in hospital for surgery that day, or you need to take care of your babies, but otherwise it'd be mandatory.
It's all right, you get paid, your job can't fire you or anything, your travel and hotel is covered, and people don't complain (much), it's just part of the price you pay for living in a free democracy, you know? Sometimes you gotta be on Super Password.
I'm thinking it can be the 36th amendment.
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simmerandwrite · 3 months ago
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electric touch (part 1)
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Pairing: Bucky x medical team! reader
Summary: Getting a spot on the field medical team was your dream. And your closest work friend Bucky Barnes finally asking you out? That was the cherry on top of your good news. Now all you had to do was pass your training week. Seems easy enough until you’re faced with someone who doesn’t want to see you win.
Warnings: abuse of power, verbal abuse, physical assault, some PTSD (but none of these are because of Bucky!!!!)
Wordcount: 7k
Part 2
Notes: hello! Are you hungry for a lil slice of ‘who did this to you’ pie with a big dollop of protective Bucky Barnes on top? Dig in!! I aim to be as nondescript as possible for the reader but I will note reader is shorter than Bucky and wears glasses. Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts! please consider reblogging, it helps my work reach more lovely people here on Tumblr. <3 merci!
---
Your regular lunch dates with Bucky started unintentionally. In fact, your friendship with Bucky had started that way – very unintentionally.
In retrospect, you couldn’t believe you had been late on your first day. You had intentionally set extra alarms to make sure you got to Stark Industries early.But you couldn’t control the inconsistencies of the New York subway system. When you skirted into the training room, only one seat was left – beside Bucky Barnes himself.
It was funny to think that the mandatory onboarding applied to new Avengers, too.
Of course, you knew who he was – the former Winter Soldier – but you didn’t realize he had to sit through the boring health and safety discussions and HR seminars like everyone else. When the first lunch break arrived, you turned to him and asked if he wanted to join you for lunch at the burger place down the street.
Initially, it looked like he was fighting off the urge to decline, but then he said: “Sure.”
Your conversations were very stilted in the beginning, which you didn’t mind. But as the week carried on, you felt the foundations of a friendship.
(He told you, later, that he appreciated your kindness that first day. That he had been really fucking scared to sit in that room with strangers judging him. He liked that you treated him like a normal person.)
It had grown organically since then – but you were simply just work friends. Your roles at Stark Industries slash The Avengers Initiative didn’t always overlap, but you did occasionally see him in the halls or if he happened to be by medical when you were working. Then, one day, you saw him eating alone in the cafeteria and you dropped down across from him to catch up.
Then lunch turned into a routine for you both. Typically on Wednesdays you’d sit together, if Bucky wasn’t on a mission or you weren’t on the night rotation. Sometimes Sam or Steve or some of the other nurses joined you, but secretly, you liked when it was just you and Bucky. Sometimes it felt like he preferred it that way too.
“So, guess what?” You sat down on the chair across from him, your tray knocking against his. He slowly moved his eyes from the pages of his book – he almost always had his nose in a book at lunch, regardless of the company – and matched your smile.
“I take it you got good news?”
You searched his face then frowned. “Wait, do you already know? That’s not fair.”
“Sam showed me the roster.”
A groan rumbled from your chest. “Boo.” You tipped your head to look at him as you paused. “Can you just pretend you’re about to hear this for the first time?”
Bucky smirked, putting down his book and politely stacking his hands to give you his full attention. “Sure. Start again?”
“Guess what?” You repeated, rolling your eyes.
“I’ve got no clue, doll. What?”
“You are looking at the newest member of the field medical team!” The chair legs squeaked as you danced in celebration.
“Congratulations,” Bucky replied, a wide smile crossing his face. He reached out and offered his fist, which you met with your own. You knocked your knuckles into his twice then wiggled your fingers at one another - a silly secret handshake you had invented together over a Taco Tuesday lunch one day, mostly out of annoyance to Sam.
You deflated afterwards, though, as reality set in. “Hopefully I can make it through training next week. It’s going to be hard but.. I can do hard things.”
Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, holding it for a moment though he quickly pulled back. “You’re going to do great. You wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”
You smiled, glancing down to where his hand had briefly made contact with yours. It felt.. hot, for some reason. You resisted touching the skin there. This had been happening more than you wanted to admit recently – a new spark when you saw him, when you touched. You thought you had easily avoided the possibilities of a developing crush on Bucky but.. something had been brewing for you. And maybe the same was happening with him, too - when you thought about how he looked at you, how considerate he was…
You wouldn’t know with any certainty unless you asked and you were way, way too scared to ask. Ruining your friendship may not be worth it. Especially if you were joining the medical team that would accompany the Avengers on some of their missions. What if you made it weird? What if you went on one date and it was terrible and your friendship never recovered? What if you asked Bucky out and then he laughed in your face and –
“We should go out and celebrate,” he cut you off. 
Wait. Was his voice shaking?
You met his eyes. Was he nervous? “I still.. I have to pass the training.”
“I know,” he nodded. “And tomorrow I leave for.. an undisclosed location for the week. So. When I get back and you’ve crushed the training and have the new job title, let’s go out.”
“Just you and me?” You asked, swallowing hard.
Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah. If you..”
“Like a date?”
He closed his eyes, face scrunched up. It was cute. “Yeah, like a date, sweetheart. Just you and me.”
Okay, well, okay. Yes. Okay, that answered your question. You supposed the risk was being taken either way. There. He did the thing before you could even talk yourself out of it.
You smiled, nervously adjusting your glasses. Oh my god. You hadn’t even answered. With eyes wide, you reached for him. “Yes, that sounds.. that sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”
He grinned, squeezing your hand. “For a second there, I really thought I screwed all this up.”
---
Bucky couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to finally just do it. Asking you out had been at the top of his list for a long time and although it scared the shit out of him, this follow-up feeling of anticipation had been totally worth it. Now he just needed to get through a grueling mission with a sweet reward at the end – a date with you.
You- the first stranger who treated him like a regular person. You - who cared so deeply about your job. You - who seemed to always hear his snarky comments and always laughed, giggled, snorted, at them. With a smile that could make his entire body warm up. 
You. He couldn’t wait for that damn date. 
A date was the scary next step. But he was tired of waiting and tired of denying his feelings. And thank god you had reacted just as positively. The foundation of your friendship was so important to him but he had a feeling things could be even better. He prayed he wouldn’t fuck it all up.
When he showed up at the compound early in the morning to get on the jet, Bucky was surprised to see Sam prepping in the pilot’s seat.
Sam jumped in with an answer before the question even left Bucky’s lips. “Natasha had to join Clint on the Belize mission, last minute. So it’s you and me, pal.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. Though he wasn’t mentally prepared for a week with Sam, he could handle it. Bucky was certain he could handle anything that he faced this week, knowing it was your face on his mind keeping him going.
As you crossed his mind again, another thought surfaced.
“If you’re here, who’s taking over the training for the med field team?” Bucky reached for his phone then cursed. They were going dark for this mission so he’d left his phone in his locker. Although he had sent you a message after he got up that morning, he wanted to reach out one last time and send some extra reassurance your way. 
“Don’t worry,” Sam knocked his shoulder, standing up to do a final check of the gear. “Your girl is in good hands.” Sam added in a wiggle of his fingers in Bucky's direction.
You weren’t Bucky’s girl.. yet. He didn’t feel bothered by the term. In fact, he loved it and so badly wanted you to be okay with him saying it some day too. Though it was still worth correcting Sam. It didn’t seem fair to put a label on something without consulting you first. Not to mention Sam’s teasing about you and Bucky had been going on for months and Bucky did not want to indulge him.
“She’s not mine,” Bucky replied, scrubbing a hand down his jaw.
Sam carried on. “Boone is doing the training protocol instead, but I’ll manage the final evaluations next week.” 
A quiet groan escaped Bucky’s lips. “Boone is a jackass.”
“I don’t disagree that he can be a bit too self assured - but he has proved himself in the field and will be a great mentor to this cohort.”
“Wasn’t he one of the agents Steve benched a few months ago - after his annual physical? What’s the term they used - he was doping?”
Sam sighed. “He was clean but a couple of his buddies were thrown out. But Boone is good, Buck. She’s gonna be fine.” With a final glance at the screen between them, Sam clapped his hands. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”
---
When you applied for the job at Stark Industries for their medical team, you weren’t entirely sure what the role was going to entail. Your years of working as a nurse at the busiest emergency room in Chicago had given you plenty of experience with, well, everything and anything imaginable. You were always prepared for the unexpected.
What you hadn’t expected though was the pace - it was significantly slower than you imagined. Most of your days revolved around small visits from agents for anything from minor injuries and lacerations to annual physicals. On occasion you’d support when the Avengers came in, but usually they worked directly with Dr. Cho or the other on site doctors.
You figured the cure for your unrelenting desire for more was to get on the field medical team - a group of agents and trained nurses who accompanied the Avengers or other strike teams on missions, acting as a resource for any injuries to civilians and team members alike. Not every mission needed a team and sometimes it would involve last minute travel, but you didn’t mind.
When your application for transfer was finally accepted, you couldn’t get over how excited you were. You had been working hard for months getting into better shape, especially your stamina. Sure, maybe you could do a bit more when it came to targeted strength training but you had qualified on the initial testing to even get into the training level, so you’d be fine.
You could do this.
Truthfully, you were really excited about it. And Bucky had sent you the most encouraging message before he left that morning and you just.. You knew you could do this.
Bucky's words echoed: “...you wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”
You were going to do this well and you were going to make yourself proud, too.
Most of your excitement depleted when you walked into the gym though. You joined the rest of the agents in the training group and braced yourself when you saw Agent Nathan Boone standing with his tablet, calling out names for attendance. 
“Wilson had to suit up as Falcon and jump on a critical mission this morning so I’ll be running the training program this week,” he explained as he sized up his group, which included you plus another half a dozen training agents. 
Without a doubt, Boone was the worst replacement for Sam you could think of. Boone exuded a confidence you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around, given his frat guy personality. Hiding behind his smarmy grin, linebacker build and perfectly coiffed hair - he was a real jackass. 
You tried not to let your mind race as Boone walked you all through the upcoming week of training. You’d be going over everything from basic self defense skills to hand to hand combat strategies to overall endurance drills. Then he explained that next week it was Sam Wilson who’d be doing the final evaluations.
“So let’s prove to him you’re all a good batch, okay?” Boone’s demeanor shifted as he got into his coaching mode. “Let’s start with a warm up run. Onto the treadmills.”
This wasn’t your first interaction with Boone, though you weren’t sure he would remember you. 
During your first few weeks you’d been responsible for doing the annual physicals for most of the agents. It had been a very repetitive (and boring) assignment, until some anomalies came up in the test results. A few agents, including Boone, had weird things flagged on their blood and urine tests - mostly markers that indicated steroid use. Which was completely against standards for agents and employees at Stark Industries. 
One of them, some bulky aggressive asshole, tried to convince you to look the other way but you had ultimately reported it. The fallout caused a huge uproar between the medical team and the agents, with the consequence coming down on a handful of agents who were fired due to drug use. Boone had escaped that fate somehow, passing his re-test with perfect results. And even though HR promised you it was a sealed case, you were always worried it had left a bit of a target on your back.
Nothing had come from it. The next round of physicals you assisted with didn’t involve any of those field agents and no other concerns had been flagged. Everything seemed back to normal.
In fact, you had seen Boone once since that whole controversy. A few months ago you passed him flirting with one of the admins in your department but you kept your head down and ignored him. That was it.
Hopefully the week of training wouldn’t be soured by your history with him but you figured it was safest to go in with an open mind. 
Thankfully, by the end of your run, as you were moving onto some basic tactical drills, he continued treating you just like everyone else. Generally firm and distant overall, but nothing strangely out of the ordinary. His barked orders were delivered to everyone evenly. If he had any recollection of your connected history, he didn’t bring it up.
The first day of training had been tough, especially since you still had a few extra hours of work to log afterwards. When you returned to your reporting station in the medical wing, you had to really settle your mind down and talk your way through the unkind thoughts racing around your brain.
You could do this. 
The second day focused exclusively on muscular endurance, which wasn’t really your strong suit but you managed to keep up with the group all the same.
Boone had the entire cohort going hard - with a lot of tough but constructive encouragement coming from him along the way. When one of the other trainees dropped their barbells, it seemed to irritate Boone immensely too. He let out a few curses as he helped them pick the weights back up then apologized for his reaction but the flare of anger was evident. 
When you were all heading back to the locker rooms, it was one of the other agents muttering about ‘roid rage’ that raised a red flag for you. 
It was during the third day of training that you felt the first tug of resistance with Boone. It was small things that you couldn’t help but file away. The way he delivered supportive commentary to everyone else in the group but only gave you critical feedback. During one of the practical scenarios, he undermined all your answers.
“I see why you’d think that way if you’ve never done this before but I can tell you by experience, it wouldn’t work. Bit of an amateur way of looking at things, actually. You need to do better if you’re going to be in the field with experts. Are you sure you passed the interview for this role?”
He said things in a way that didn’t always seem personal to you, but he certainly delivered them in a condescending tone. 
But, maybe, well, maybe you were just reading into things. You were feeling tired already and not really sleeping, so your focus was a bit off. 
Yeah, you could do better, strategize better, think things through in a better way.
On the fourth day, after a morning of weapons training and spending time at the range, the session moved onto sparring drills. It was quite basic - Boone walked the group through easy to follow hand to hand techniques, spending time here and there with each person to adjust their form. 
Everyone who qualified for the med team had to pass certain physical testing standards already. You had been working hard in the gym for months to get your mind ready, though you knew you weren’t very experienced in anything related to defensive techniques.
When he got to you following one of the scenarios, there was a firm frown on his face. “You need to be less in your head.”
You nodded, flexing and stretching your hands out. “Okay. Uhm okay, well, do you have any tips on how to–”
He was quick to cut you off. “Figure it out. I don’t have time to teach you critical thinking skills.” Following a sharp finger snap, he pointed directly at you. “And what’s with the glasses?”
“Ran out of contacts this morning, but I can do without them if I need to. Its–”
“They’re a safety risk.”
He didn’t care for your explanation or offer you any other advice, instead just muttering something as he moved on and tapping something into the tablet. None of his feedback had been helpful. Christ, you figured maybe it was worth starting a list to consult with Sam about following your evaluation instead. 
You just had to get through one more day with Boone. You were tired - down to your bones, from the physical and mental work during this week.
But it was nearly the weekend and that meant next week was approaching. Most importantly, the training would be done and you would have a real date with Bucky on the books, too. You couldn’t wait.
---
The last training day was mostly a culmination of everything you had gone over from the week. There was more endurance testing, some strength and performance work and the day ended with more sparring and situationals. 
You knew this was the light at the end of the tunnel. And when everything was wrapping up, you were relieved to finally be done with taking instructions from Boone, too.
Until his final speech. “You’ve been a great group and I would say most of you are ready for next week. Wilson will be impressed.” After a few more notes and instructions for the following week, he dismissed everyone. As you headed back towards the locker room, he called your name.
That made your stomach drop. He waved you back over towards the mats.
“I just wanted to give you a heads up,” Boone started slowly, eyes glancing around the empty room before he looked down at his tablet screen. “Here is the report on your training this week.” He turned the device so you could read over it.
After the first line, you took it from his hands. “Wait - what?”
“I just don’t think you’re ready.” Boone crossed his arms. “You’ve got the medical knowledge, sure. But the rest of it, even if you had another two months to train, I’m doubtful.” He took the tablet back and continued scrolling, as if he hadn’t just delivered such a disappointing blow to you. “It’s up to you whether you still want to do your test with Sam next week, but if I was in your shoes, I’d tap out.”
You swallowed hard, head tipped slightly to the side as you took in what he was saying. “That doesn’t make any sense. I kept up with everyone here this week.”
“This is a controlled environment; I don’t think you can hack it in the field.” Boone shrugged. “Like I said, you’re more than welcome to do your evaluation but I don’t think this will impress The Falcon enough to solidify your spot on the field team.”
“Good thing you’re not in charge of this decision then,” you bit in return, taking a step back. It felt like he was egging you on and you didn’t like it. Even worse that you were alone with him in the gym. “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”
“You don’t have to, or you simply can’t?” He countered, tossing the tablet to the side as he crossed his arms. He sized you up, eyes drawing up the shape of your body. “Let’s try something.” He motioned to the mats. “I’ll give you another chance to change my mind about that report. Maybe I misread your abilities and intentions.”
You knew the right thing to do would be to walk away and ignore how he was antagonizing you. But a tiny voice in the back of your head kept reminding you that you were good, that you had earned your place here. That you needed to show him that. 
No, you didn’t.
Yes, you did.
You took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing yourself in the middle of the mat. “Fine. Let’s do it.”
Boone laughed, standing in front of you. He scanned you over again. “Scenario. You’re in the field, there’s a civilian who needs medical attention. You’re alone with them as everyone else explores the area for threats. But, it's night time, it was a busy bit of action and –” Boone reached over and pulled your glasses off. “And you lost your glasses in the chaos.”
Before you could protest about the logistics of this stupid scenario, he threw them to the side.
You shook your head and immediately stepped back. “What the fuck?”
“Maybe you should have worn your contacts today.” He replied and this time, there was something more at the edge of his words. Something unsettling.
This was a bad idea. But he was waiting for you to reply, to call his bluff and tap out. You growled to yourself and stayed.
“The civilian has a broken limb so you’re on the ground beside them.” Without even hesitating he placed both his hands on your shoulders and shoved you down to your knees.
None of this made any lick of sense. This wasn’t a scenario you’d end up in. You wouldn’t be alone or you’d call for backup.
He continued without a second thought, moving to stand behind you, placing his hand on the crown of your head. “And someone comes at you from behind – now you’re compromised and so is your civilian.”
You sat there on your knees, chock still. A red flashing light was going off in your mind but for some reason, you stayed.
A low, grumbly laugh escaped him. “See? Not only are you a terrible nurse but you have no fucking instinct—”
You immediately swung your leg up to hook behind him, not sending him down to the ground but gaining enough of your own momentum to plot out your next move. Planting a foot, you lunged forward and grabbed his waist, pulling him towards the mat.
That really set off whatever anger had been simmering in him. The next thing you saw was the training mat as your face and torso were being shoved against it. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Your shouting felt useless as your body writhed under his weight. Your cheek dragged across the plastic mat as you moved, burning against your skin. “Get off of me, you—”
“Defend. Yourself.” Boone barked back, adjusting to grab your arm. He gripped your elbow, then twisted your wrist behind your back. A jolt of pain rushed down your shoulder. “Took me a few days but then I remembered your face.”
You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please just stop. What is—why are you—”
“Three of my friends, my brothers – you ruined their lives, you know that? They lost all their job prospects, they have fuck all left because of what you did. You know, we need that stuff - to keep up with supersoldiers. There is nothing fucking wrong with some pharmaceutical help. If I’m backing up Captain America, I deserve the boost.” With his knee pressing against your back, he leveraged himself to sit up a bit straighter. But his grip on your wrist remained, growing tighter and tighter. “If you had just turned the other way and ignored those tests—”
“I was doing my job,” you mumbled back at him. “They were the ones who broke the rules and—”
His voice hadn’t quite grown to shouting but the intensity grew. “And you are the one who suffers now, alright? And you sure as hell aren’t joining the field team. I’m going to make sure of it.”
---
All Bucky wanted to do when they got back to the compound was text you. It was late Sunday night but he didn’t care.
After the grueling week he and Sam had, Bucky took comfort in knowing soon enough he’d get to see you. He wanted to know about everything from last week - from training to everyday life, he just wanted to talk to you. Crossing the threshold from friends to something more was scary but during his long, sleepless nights, you provided a strange sense of comfort to him.
Without doing a dang thing. Just knowing you made him better, inspired him to be better and to be present. 
“Hey,” Sam tugged on Bucky’s arm before he headed to the locker room. “Medical check first. Then you’re free to send your little smiley face emojis to her.”
Bucky grumbled but didn’t have the energy to argue with Sam. The mission had gone well but hadn’t been the smoothest for either of them. While they both returned unharmed, Bucky knew coming down from these sorts of weeks properly was important.
Finally, after a clearance from the nurse and a quick shower - Bucky was turning his phone back on.
He dismissed all the messages from Steve and an Avengers group chat he liked to ignore then finally found his way to his conversation with you. Seeing a slew of your thoughts over the course of the week made him smile.
You: good luck this week - come back in one piece, please <3 
You: made it through day one and two, turns out my five-story walkup apartment is good for my cardio skills after all lol You: remind me of that next time I complain about the stairs
You: day three has proved that I do need to work on my upper body strength You: wanna be my personal trainer? ;)
You: miss you, hope everything is going safely You: this week has really kicked my ass
Your messages did peter off by Friday and although Bucky longed for more, he assumed you were probably just tired after the long week. Plus, the training wasn’t for the light of heart. Sam had shown him the schedule and although it was standard, its intensity was intentional. Not that Bucky doubted you - he knew you’d been preparing as best as you could since you had shown an interest in joining the field team months ago. But that could really exhaust someone by the end of it.
And tomorrow you had to power through a final evaluation with Sam too, so Bucky hoped you got to spend the rest of the weekend resting.
He dropped down onto one of the benches and planned his response.
Bucky: hey doll, made it back safe and sound Bucky: in one piece, I promise :) Bucky: can’t wait to hear about last week, I’m sure you did great Bucky: good luck tomorrow, I’ll come find you after the eval Bucky: sweet dreams 
---
Bucky felt a little bit silly, lingering outside the training gym. At least he wasn’t pacing, that would have been an even worse look. He leaned against the opposite wall to the doors, arms crossed.
Something just felt a bit off for him and, well, finally seeing you would help ease his mind. It was just strange – the lack of communication. Sure, he had sent his message quite late the night before but he assumed he might hear something back from you during the day.
But no, it had been radio silence. He could attribute it to your needing to prepare for your evaluation but that didn’t seem like enough of a justification. In all the times you and he had been friends, you always managed to send a reply.
He would just have to settle for an in person update, following your testing with Sam. Five other agents exited the gym by mid afternoon, but you never showed up at the door. 
Sam did eventually emerge, tapping quickly against his tablet. He came to a halt when he spotted Bucky waiting, arms now tightly locked behind his back.
Bucky looked over Sam’s shoulder, trying to glimpse into the gym before he met his eyes. “How’d she do?”
Sam let out an awkward laugh. “Well, she didn’t show. She sent me an email earlier saying that she was sick.”
Bucky’s brow furrowed slightly. “Oh.” 
“I know, weird. What’s even more weird though is that when I said we could reschedule her for another date, she tapped out.” Sam raised his shoulder to shrug then showed Bucky the screen.
Bucky scanned over the message and frowned. It was true. Your reply to Sam was short, explaining you didn’t want to reschedule and declined any further interest in the field team. That was it. You were out.
“Given how she sent me a five-paragraph essay explaining how excited she was to join the team, this seems out of character.” Sam tucked the screen under his arm and patted Bucky on the shoulder. “Give me an update after you talk to her.”
“What makes you think—”
“Oh, I already see your wheels turning. You’re doing the math on how quickly you can get to her place.” Sam called after him as Bucky turned to leave. “Let her know I can reschedule her anytime!”
---
You knew you couldn’t ignore Bucky forever. It was just.. it felt like too much, thinking of a way to reply. After what happened with Boone on Friday, every single thing in your life felt like climbing the steepest mountain.
It was absurd how quickly things had escalated. You should have just walked away the instant Boone brought up your evaluation. Getting on that mat with him was really fucking stupid and.. here you were.
You could barely remember how you got home Friday – dazed and confused and numb. After Boone finished screaming and you had stopped trying to fight back, you curled up on yourself. You fought back tears over the humiliation and pain, hands shaking as you grabbed your things from the locker room. One ridiculously overpriced cab ride later and you made it home to your studio in Astoria.
Then you cried in the shower and all the way to your bed - where you stayed as long as you possibly could on Saturday, dousing yourself in painkillers just to try and stay asleep.
You knew you needed to go to urgent care, or even just an emergency room - somewhere you could afford the x-ray. You had never broken a bone before but you had seen plenty of hand fractures during your time working in triage. You couldn’t make a fist, your hand was bruising up towards your wrist and the pain was excruciating. The image of Boone stomping on your hand and wrist as you tried to crawl away was imprinted in your mind…
You were stuck on the climb though. The mental battle of trying to figure out the best lie to tell the admitting nurses anywhere was daunting. Christ, how would you explain this?
You had to - you had to tell someone. The way Boone had flown off the handle, how he attacked you verbally and physically, he couldn’t get away with it. You knew the right thing to do but… fuck if you weren’t scared. He had made it pretty clear he’d be keeping an eye on you. And there was no way you’d be able to do your test with Sam now.
If you reported him, you’d probably have to get HR and the police involved and what if he denied everything and—
You ended up in a helpless loop every single time.
Saturday came and went. You only left your apartment to visit the nearest drugstore for a new compression bandage and more pain medication. Sunday passed by just the same. You skipped your normal spin class and barely spent time outside of your bed. 
The pain in your hand was growing worse and worse. You had to use your left hand to send Sam and your manager messages - because even just moving your right hand made your stomach swirl. And the guilt about not responding to Bucky was growing bigger and bigger too. 
How could you explain it? Boone had pressed your buttons and you pushed back and look what happened. How could Bucky be proud of you now?
Your phone had buzzed mid afternoon, just after you were supposed to be doing your session with Sam.
It was Bucky - worried and asking if you needed anything for whatever illness was plaguing you. 
You ignored it.
When he called, you ignored that too.
You were balled up on the end of your couch, eyes glazed over as another episode of your favourite show loaded up on Netflix. You knew you needed to eat something, that the pain medication on an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster. But… you couldn’t get up. Laying perfectly still with a bag of frozen vegetables on your hand was the closest thing to relief you had.
Then, someone was knocking at your door. The noise made you gasp, though you couldn’t move. You could ignore the noise along with everything else. It was probably just your downstairs neighbour back to complain about your TV again and –
Whoever was at the door knocked again, this time calling out your name. 
You recognized the voice.
Bucky.
He called your name out again. “Listen, I don’t care if you’re sick. I just want to make sure you’re alright. I grabbed some soup from that place I was telling you about.”
You sucked in a deep breath and pulled yourself up off the couch. You really, really wanted to see him - just the idea of his smile made everything feel a bit better. But then you couldn’t hide anymore and… hiding felt safe.
“I’m okay,” you finally replied as you got approached. “Feeling better but I might be contagious, Buck.”
You sensed some relief from him as his feet shuffled on the other side of the door. “Sweetheart, I.. I can’t even get sick, okay? I just need to see you.”
“My apartment is a mess.”
“I don’t care.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Bucky, I’m.. I’m not at my best right now.”
“I don’t care.” He said your name once more. “Please.”
You pulled up the hood of your sweatshirt then reluctantly reached for the door knob.
---
When you finally opened the door, Bucky was relieved. But when you immediately turned away to return to your couch without a word, his relief felt misplaced. Something was wrong. Your sudden weekend illness and dropping out of the new job training weren’t adding up to anything that felt good.
He was worried.
Bucky had never been inside your apartment before. There were a handful of occasions after work or some happy hour thing when he dropped you off but this was new. He liked the idea of seeing your home but he wished it had been different circumstances. 
Home was a little studio, with a compact kitchen ahead of him across from the door. Beside it was a cozy living room area separated from the bed and windows, divided by a short bookcase. It was so very you and Bucky wanted nothing more than to just be there with you, scan over the books you like and curl up together on the couch.
But it wasn’t the time to daydream. Instead, he stepped into the kitchen to deposit the takeout bag, retrieving the soup before moving to where you were curling back up in your blankets. 
“How are you feeling?” He took another step closer but stopped when you leaned away from his approach. He took a seat opposite you and extended the container in your direction. 
“Yeah, I’m.. okay,” you replied with a shrug. “Thanks for the soup.” You took it from him, reaching across yourself awkwardly with a shaking hand, and rested it on your lap. 
He took the moment of silence to get a better look at you. Behind your glasses, your eyes were swollen, as if you had been crying. Bucky watched you carefully maneuver the spoon and it wasn’t lost on him you were favouring your left hand. In fact, your right arm was barely moving. 
“Do you need anything else? I could run to the pharmacy..” He trailed off as his eyes shifted to your coffee table, which was littered with an array of pill bottles. Mostly painkillers and what looked like a melting bag of frozen peas. And tucked under the table was… a half empty bottle of wine. Not exactly the type of self medication for a stomach bug or the common cold.
You closed your eyes, taking another taste of the soup before gently moving it to the table. “I think the worst of it has passed. Just.. tired now, I guess. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.” You smiled, just barely, then it disappeared as your eyes shut.
Bucky considered that the perfect opportunity to change the subject. Your name left his lips. It was quiet. You peaked one eye open to look at him.
“What happened last week?” he asked.
You laughed, though it came out quite empty. “Just five very intense, rigorous training days. I wasn’t great but.. I managed, I guess.” 
Bucky cut to the chase, though he couldn’t predict your reaction. “So how come you’re not doing the final evaluation?” 
A long sigh escaped you, rolling your eyes before leaning back again. You stared at the ceiling. “Should I just start adding you to all my correspondence with Sam?”
“Don’t be mad at Sam,” Bucky replied. “I asked him and he only told me because he was worried.”
You laughed again, with more of your body. The same emptiness remained and this time it seemed to cause you pain. You winced, swallowing an uncomfortable look on your face as you turned to peer at him. “I’m not mad at Sam. I’m mad at..” You shook your head. “At myself, I guess.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter, alright? It’s over and I missed today and–”
“Sam offered to resch–”
“Bucky, it doesn’t matter!” You snapped this time, cutting him off. 
Bucky shook his head. Something else was going on. He had never seen you like this before - despondent and… broken. Sure, your friendship had rarely escaped the walls of work but the foundation between you both was solid. He had seen your ups and downs, and you had seen his too - recalling bad dates and ranting about missions and laughing over lunch and all of it. 
He knew you. The person sitting across from him, it wasn’t you. 
“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on.” 
Your eyes were closed again, head shaking. “Nothing is..” Your lip trembled. “Maybe you should just go..”
Bucky stood from the couch, but he didn’t move to the door. Instead, he crouched right in front of you. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll go, okay? I’d never stay if you didn’t want me here. But you opened that door for me. You could have already sent me away, soup in hand. I’m here right now because I care about you.” He said your name again, like a plea for you to look at him. “I can help, okay? Whatever is going on, I can help. Let me help, please.”
Your breath picked up, intertwined with winces of pain as you adjusted on the couch. You crossed your legs then moved your arms carefully, using your left hand to tear away your sweatshirt. Finally, you opened your eyes and extended your right arm to Bucky.
Despite being wrapped in a compression bandage, the swelling was evident on your fingers. Bruises littered your hand too and continued upwards to your t-shirt line. 
Bucky dropped to his knees, looking from your face down towards your arm. He whispered out your name, desperately trying not to fill in the blanks without getting more information from you. “What happened?”
You simply shook your head, swallowing whatever response was trying to escape. 
“Can I–” He motioned to your hand, cautiously reaching for it. You didn’t move, allowing him to unwrap the bandaging. You winced at the touch and change in pressure, eyes clamping shut again as you breathed deeply. 
Bucky skated his fingers along the side of your forearm, down towards your wrist and hand. Light shades of purple and blue decorated your skin but the swelling was what concerned Bucky the most. 
“I’m worried something is broken.” You finally said quietly, letting out another groan of pain as Bucky flipped your hand over to assess the underside. 
He wanted to reply with ‘yeah, no shit’ but figured that wouldn’t be helpful. If you hadn’t sought out medical attention by now, there was probably a good reason. You were smart, a nurse who could easily figure out her own symptoms. But something was stopping you. Embarrassment, guilt.. Maybe fear? 
Bucky was gentle as he held your hand. Christ, his mind was racing. “What happened? Did you fall? Did something go wrong last week?”
You shook your head.
Although there was one giant fucking obvious glaring answer to his next question, Bucky wanted to hear your response. Maybe you had fallen or dropped something on it this weekend. Maybe you had crushed it between a door or something, anything else than someone hurting you. Because the thought of anyone doing that, inflicting any intentional harm –
Bucky sucked in a breath and looked back at you. Your lower lip was already trembling again. He had to ask. He didn’t want to, but he fucking had to.
“Sweetheart, who did this to you?”
“I should have walked away, Bucky. I..” You immediately trailed off, head shaking again as you tried to collect yourself. 
With you, Bucky would be patient. He would always be patient. A few moments ticked by as he waited, still holding your injured hand in his. 
“It was supposed to just be a routine scenario, a test sort of thing I guess. But he was… he was volcanic. The anger erupted and he - he.. Bucky, I was just doing my job, it’s not my fault his friends lost theirs an-and he got so mad. I tried to get away but he just kept going.”
He said your name quietly. “Take a deep breath for me, okay?” You did, breathing in tandem with him a few times as you steadied yourself. “You’ve gotta tell me a name, please.”
After another deep breath, you nodded. “It was Boone.” You closed your eyes. “I think he’s taking drugs, steroids–again and he just.. I shouldn’t have engaged him at all. And I tried to get away once I realized he was freaking out..”
Bucky stilled, lips pulled into a straight line. “Hey, look at me.” He waited for you to meet his gaze. “This isn’t your fault.” God, he wanted to say so much more but the simmering anger below the surface was bubbling up. And that wasn’t important. You needed an x-ray and real medical attention. Then, maybe he could face the rage coursing through his bones. “Sweetheart, we’ve gotta get this looked at, okay?”
Reluctantly, your head shook. “I know. I just.. I don’t want to have to go to urgent care and explain what happened. I should have already gone and I feel so stupid about the whole thing and-and–”
He placed his free hand on your knee to stop you. “Okay. It's okay. I think I know where we can go. Let me make a few phone calls.”
---
PART 2
484 notes · View notes
malereadermaniac · 10 months ago
Text
Omega team manager x Random Guys
How Kuroo, Daichi, Bokuto, Atsumu, Ushijima, and Oikawa as alphas would interact with their Omega!manager word count: 3.4k Sfw and Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI
I'm fucking FEEDING u lot with this one it's SO LONGGG Also sorry if some of these guys are OOC I haven't watched Haikyuu in 3 years xoxo
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Kuroo sfw
He wasn't opposed to the idea of having an omega as his team manager, in fact Kuroo was quite keen on the idea
He liked the idea of the team leader being an alpha and their manager being an omega
But he didn't let on that he fucking loved it
Kuroo immediately became protective over you, but in a more detached way
He would hang out with you, scenting your stuff over time to reek of his pheromones
After a few months, the rest of the team, as well as every other alpha in the school had backed off from you
The two of you took forever to even start courting
But it wasn't bad that way, you received the same amount of attention from Kuroo that you would if he was to court you
Kuroo would give you his team jacket to wear when the team was running laps outside, his scent enveloping you
The built alpha would tell you to cheer extra loud for him before a game
Eventually, the alpha mustered up the courage to court you, and the two of you have been together for ages now
Dates every weekend, study dates if you have exams the next week
Sleepovers after dates were mandatory
And you two were insufferable at college, Kuroo loved to rub his relationship in everyone's face - you were a very popular and sought after omega, so Kuroo liked to make sure people knew you were claimed
"I fuckin' love it when you wear my volleyball tank, babe - can't have an omega as handsome as you walk around without even a trace of my scent"
Kuroo nsfw
What escalated your relationship from courting to dating was your heat
The two of you were at Kuroo's house, home alone studying for a quiz the following Monday
You knew your heat was due soon, but soon meant in a week, not THAT day
What set you off were Kuroo's pheromones, the strong smell of musk mixed with woody scents sent you over the edge
The alpha noticed your panting and blushed face immediately
He apologised, kept his distance and told you several times not to do something you two would regret
Fast forward to the two of you dating, Kuroo's rut
His carnal desires took over and you were willing to help
His chiseled body, gleaming with sweat stood naked in front of you, your alpha looking down at you with hazy eyes
Your knees buckled from his pheromones
An hour had gone by and Kuroo was still sloppily eating you out, not even putting a finger in you, his rut keeping his focus only on the addictive taste of your slick leaking ass
Once your alpha had finally had his fill, he moved on to fucking you
Kuroo's rut made him ruthless, fucking you with vigor, panting and grunting into your ear, biting your body and covering you in marks possessively
The room was hot and stuffy with the smell of sweat, alpha pheromones, omega pheromones, cum and slick - but Kuroo and you kept going until his rut finally started to let up
"My Omega- HAHH! FUCK! Go-oood Omega-! Love you- so fuckin' - GAHH- SO FUCKIN MUCH"
Daichi sfw
He knew you before you became Kurasuno's manager
Daichi was practically courting you by the time you became the teams manager - so Nishinoya and Tanaka were quickly put off of you once they smelled Daichi's pheromones all over you
Again, being one of the few male Omega's at your college made you highly sought after
Daichi always told you how lucky he was to have your love
He's the softest Alpha you've ever met, gentle touches juxtapose his rough hands
He likes that the two of you are relatively popular, people watch as the two of you walk together and think that you're the perfect couple
Daichi likes to cuddle you, scent you constantly and to always feel his hands on you or vice versa
The alpha has no clue about PDA, he kisses you in corridors - his Alpha then prolonging the kiss to a make-out session that lasts the whole of lunch - it's up to you to drag him away to a more private area
Daichi is completely head over heels for hid omega
"I'm so glad we're together, I'm so lucky to be with you, (y/n). I love you, darling~"
Daichi nsfw
Daichi is the complete opposite of himself when he's in a rut
He isn't violent, but his grip changes from soft to firm on you, he shows his possessive side a lot more - calling you "Mine" and "My Omega" instead of his usual nicknames for you
He fucks you hard and each of his rounds last ages - Daichi being a manager of a volleyball team being incredibly daunting once his stamina gets applied to sex
Once his ruts ends, Daichi has to care for you for at least 2 days, your lower half not working at all
On the other hand, during your heats Daichi becomes a fat tease
The alpha fucking loves when you get desperate for him, it awakens something carnal within him
He makes out with you for a while as you grind into him, calling you pet names and cooing at you mockingly while you try to get off
Then, Daichi will only finger you for a while until you start literally crying for his knot
Finally when he gives in and fucks you, Daichi goes mental - you'd think he was in a rut
He jerks you off while he fucks hard into your prostate, making you cum over and over again, desperate for his knot
Thank god that you're on contraceptives, because by the end of your heat, you get the best of your alpha at least once or twice, his knot locking him inside of you while your walls tighten and milk his dick
"Fuck baby~ So- tight! 'M sorry baby, cumin- CUMMING! Fu... fuck baby, soo good baby"
Bokuto sfw
This man was ALL over you the moment you became the manager
Bokuto would flirt with you on the daily, and you would flirt back - your confidence and charisma made the owl-haired alpha want you even more
He was always friendly towards you, seeing you as more than an object like most other alphas - he more wanted to be your friend than to mate you
Only once he was in a pre-rut and had to spend a few hours with you did Bokuto fall for you - you were such a caring Omega for him, doting on him and providing him with anything he needs
After that Bokuto was still all over you but now in aims to court you
Which you gladly let the strong, muscular, Alpha captain of your college volleyball team do
So once Bokuto marked you, the two of you became THE college couple
People envied you for dating Bokuto and others envied Bokuto for dating you
He always has an arm around your waist or shoulders, Bokuto has to let people know that he's your alpha
He likes that you're witty for an omega, you're not super soft spoken - you match his vibe, he fucking adores that shit
He tries to be the best alpha he can for you, so he always pays for your meals and other things no matter how much you protest - it inflates his ego (his chest literally puffs up)
He loves spending time with you more than anyone else, Bokuto has never felt the way he does with you with anyone else
"You're mine, cutie~ My fuckin' perfect Omega... You're my everything, (y/n)"
Bokuto nsfw
Bokuto's demeanor in bed depends on if your in heat or if he's in a rut or not - in the best ways possible
If you're in heat and Bokuto is helping you through it, he's caring and careful with you - taking care of each of your needs
He's happy to be a dildo for you to use, a scenting and biting machine that you use to feel better
He rubs your tummy while he fucks you hard, his dick makes your belly bulge slightly - the euphoric feeling making the burn in your stomach from your heat disappear
On the other hand, if Bokuto's in a rut he's an animal
Bokuto loves the sounds you make, they ground him while he pounds you to high heaven, pumping cum into your hole while you squirm and moan under him
He loves the scent you make when you're horny, your sweat and your pheromones keeping the ache in his gut at bay while he drills your hole with his swelling, veiny dick
But unlike most Alphas Bokuto can remain mainly conscious during his ruts
Due to that consciousness, Bokuto makes you blow him at some points, which eventually turns into him mouthfucking you
The alpha marks your whole body when in a rut, grunting and groaning your name into your ear with nothing but lust and love dripping off of his tongue
"Jeusus- fuck- (y/n)- CUMMING! FUCK- Fuck yeah! My fuckin' omega- take my- SHIT- Take my fuckin' pups babe~ I fucking love you- I need you!"
Atsumu sfw
He'd heard of you before you became the team manager
Atsuma had never gotten the hype over Omegas - that was until he had met you
The way you doted on every single team member, made sure they each had water or a towel or anything, the way you cheered him on at the side of the court - it made his inner Alpha jump with joy
Atsumu had never wanted someone as badly as he wanted you - and he was gonna get what he wanted
You noticed him talking to you more, Atsumu would purposefully show-off the height difference between you both while releasing his scent to envelop you
It flustered you at first, but as time went on you embraced the Alpha trying to subtly flirt with you
When the two of you finally started dating, Atsumu had never felt lighter, everything just felt right with you
You took care of him, keeping him in check and fully shouting at him when he gets too high and mighty
The alpha would always buy you gifts, take you out in expensive dates but most of all he liked to have sleepovers with you
You would go to his house and Atsumu would cook for you, really charm you with his looks and skills then cuddle you all night while breathing in your pheromones like air
"I'd give you the world if I could, (Y/n)... Anything for the handsome man who loves me the most"
Atsumu nsfw
Atsumu really understood the hype around Omegas when he first helped you through a heat
The alpha got lost in your scent, the lewd sounds you would make, the way you would beg for him like you needed him to live, and oh god the way you tasted and felt around him
Atsumu felt like he physically couldn't stop fucking you, his hips having a mind of their own as he pounded your loose, slicked up hole
Atsumu is also found that he's a really mean Alpha in bed, something about you brings that out of him
And he found out that you fucking live for his degradation and teasing
He loves the idea of teasing you and laughing at you while your heat is eating at you, your body writhing from the feeling in your stomach as your ass craves for his knot
Atsumu is so mean to you it turns you on so much
He teases your dick, going as far as calling it a pussy as he rubs your dick against his palm while he only just fingers at your prostate
You squirt more and more slick out of your ass until Atsumu finally gives in to your pleas and absolutely ravages your ass
Your walls tighten around your Alphas dick while he fucks up into your prostate with every thrust
Moans and grunts echo in the room, Atsumu's veiny hand wraps around your throat and he squeezes gently while your hands dart to his muscular back and scratch him like a scratching post
By the time you've came for a 3rd time, Atsumu has filled your hole up to the brim
Your alpha is 6 loads in and is still willing to push through till the end of your heat ♡
"You're so cute, Omega~ Such a pathetic excuse of a man, such a cute little dick, look at you squirting sterile cum all over yourself"
Ushijima sfw
Omegas avoided Ushijima like the plague, even for an alpha he was huge and scary
So when you showed none of that when interacting with Ushijima, you had caught his eye straight away
He liked how kind you were, caring and doting like any other Omega but in a natural way - not in an overly exaggerated way like he had seen other Omegas behave around his teammates
The rest of the team noticed how much Ushijima was head over heels doe you - and they supported it so so much
He liked the height difference between you two, Ushijima would focus on how small you were compared to him even for an Omega, your small waist which his veiny hands could easily wrap around were on his mind practically 24/7
Once the team started to push Ushijima to court you, it was funny to see how you, as an Omega, were pulling most of the weight - making all the first moves while Ushijima blushes away
You were his first everything- his first crush, his first courting, his first kiss, and first time - He was like a schoolgirl around you
But once he mustered up the courage to ask you to be his, you were ecstatic - and so was the rest of the team
Dating the massive alpha was incredible, he was rich so of course Ushijima spoiled you
He compliments you so, so much in a nonchalant way - saying shit like "You're the most gorgeous man I've ever laid my eyes on" like it isn't the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to you!
And you two go on so many romantic and heartfelt dates, many of which happen at your house
Ushijima absolutely loves it when you cook for him, he sits down at the table and watches you cook away while you talk to him about something random
The whole time your words going in one ear and out the other while your muscular Alpha fantasises about you doing this for him everyday of the rest of his life after marrying you - which he most definitely plans on doing
"(Y/n) Ushijima~ I like the sound of that. Would you like to marry me, my omega? I think we'd make beautiful pups, don't you?"
Ushijima nsfw
Again, you were his first everything - so of course you were the Alpha's first time, too
The first time you helped Ushijima through a rut was insane, the poor virgin Alpha could not stop for his life
His scent was extremely powerful from the pure excitement and lust he was feeling, Ushijima was fucking you at an animalistic pace while he grunted and moaned so loud that the entire Ushijima estate could probably hear
He'd already came 4 times, his hips not stopping once, your dick overstimulated as you moaned and cried - Ushijima apologising between moans, drunk and high off of his rut
He'd never felt such pleasure before, a pure and constant rush if dopamine flooding his brain as he fucks his pups into you, his knot now just pushing in and out of you - the pain and pleasure mixing like the smell of pheromones and sweat in the Alpha's room
By the time Ushijima had regained consciousness and control over his body, he was appalled at himself
His eyes glanced over your body, widening in horror at the state your body was in - bite marks on every little patch of skin, bruises all over your hips and neck and wrists, cum still leaking out of your loose hole and your body covered in dried, sticky cum
After being bombarded with apologise, you calmed Ushijima down and promised that you enjoyed yourself
A part of him also felt really guilty that when he saw your puffed out hole, filled with his cum - a part of him hoped you'd carry his pups, so much so that he'd already gotten a semi from the idea
On the other hand, the way that Ushijima helps you through heats is incredibly sweet
The alpha does his best to soothe your pain, fingering at your prostate until you cum on his fingers while breathing in your mates scent, the burn in your stomach already dissipating
The alpha had laid plenty of attention in health class, so his dick is in you almost instantly after your first orgasm, slow thrust directly against your prostate making you slick up even more, cumming once again from the way Ushijima pressed a hand against the bulge in your belly
By the end of your heat, Ushijima's back is torn to shreds along with some beautiful bite marks from you all over his broad shoulders and neck
Your body on the other hand is perfectly clean - apart from.your mating mark, which Ushijima ensured to make fresh once more
"You're so beautiful, Omega. Feel so good around me, such a good boy for me, all slicked and taking my big dick so deep, all the way - you feel good don't you,(y/n)?"
Oikawa sfw
The idea of having THE campus omega as his team manager made Oikawa's chest puff up
He was all over you immediately - which made you more flustered than uncomfortable
The whole team liked you, you were very attentive to their needs and would always be up to help them with whatever - but Oikawa liked you even more than the others
The Alpha could feel his heart rate jump when you would arrive at practice and could feel his mood perk up when he had a class with you
The whole team knew the captain liked you - even you weren't oblivious to that fact, so it didn't come as a surprise when Oikawa tried to court you
You made no complaints, you were used to Alpha's trying to court you but you had always turned them down - you decided to give your handsome team captain a chance
And holy crap did he quickly make you fall for him
The alpha would scent you every chance he would get, Oikawa would greet you with a hug and a gift and then spend the whole time you two were together following you around like a puppy and chatting to you non-stop
His masculine scent and his charisma made it hard not to fall for him
So once Oikawa had successfully courted you, the two of you started to date
Never had the Alpha's ego been as high as it is now that you two are dating
Everyone at college knows about you two, due to Oikawa's loud mouth and inflated ego
He's constantly touching, you're on his arm every hour of every day bur you have no complaints about it
The Alpha constantly compliments you and wants to spend time with you - his playboy ways being long forgotten since he started courting
Every time you two are together is good, even arguments with your alpha end in hugs and tears
"Gosh (n/n)-chan you're so cute! Ya know, you look so good on my arm, bet everyone's soooo jealous of me right now~"
Oikawa nsfw
A selfish lover is the only way to describe Oikawa during his ruts
Like any other alpha Oikawa can only focus on his needs - but trust me only after Oikawa has came at least 3 times to you cum for the first time
The alpha will be fucking into you, milking his dick empty of his fertile seed for hours on end and you only cum around twice per rut
Oikawa feels bad about this once he comes back around but he can't help himself, you just feel too good around him he can't even focus on you
Your heats are totally different though
Oikawa loves to make you feel as good as possible - almost a little too good
The alpha has you cumming on his tongue within minuets - minuets which turn into hours of your heat craving your alphas dick and him not giving it to you
He fucking loves it when you literally cry for him to fuck you, beg for his veiny dick and his thick knot
Once Oikawa gives in and finally fucks you, he's ruthless, fucking you with so much vigor that you're squirting cum all over yourself constantly
You're moans and your scent are enough to make Oikawa fill you with cum, his knot finally making that burn in your belly calm down
Bathing in the afterglow, Oikawa can't help but stay hard from the way you look
You're like an angel sent by God himself, his perfect omega, your face fucked out and tired, your body covered in cum and marks - and oh fuck your hole clenching on his dick, milking your alpha for his pups
"Aww do you need my dick, baby? Does my poor Omega fucking desperate for my knot - do you want my pups, darling?"
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Hope you guys enjoyed - very long for my kind of writing and I think it sucked in some parts but hope u liked xoxoxoxoxo
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ferrstappen · 1 year ago
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max the wag: caught in the middle l mv1
a/n: so... this isn't the best part of the series but I saw this post on instagram last week and just couldn't resist! hope you enjoy it <3 x
pairing: Max Verstappen x fem reader
genre: fluff
you can find the rest of max the wag here <3
summary: You find Max on a WAGs Instagram page, just not how you'd imagine.
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Mexico Grand Prix, 2023
The only time you left the energy station during race weekends was when Max was crowned the winner of the Grand Prix, making your usual route the back entrance, energy station, parc fermé and then, if people were lucky, would catch a glimpse of Max and you leaving hand in hand, big smiles on your faces even if you always tried to keep your head down.
Sure, this wasn’t always the easiest for you, wanting to be there with Max most time, but in the early stages of your relationship when you first attended a Grind Prix as his girlfriend, you told Max it wasn’t an interest of yours to be known or to have your face plastered on Instagram profiles. Of course, it was inevitable, but both you and Max tried your best to make it work, even if it meant Max would have to begrudgingly answer a question about the relationship to the fans so they wouldn’t start speculating.
Max even made an effort to stop F1TV from broadcasting you, and it cost him an app exclusive interview. 
This never worked to ease the break up rumors always emerging. You were able to put the latest one to rest during Qatar where you were waiting with your arms wide open when he was crowned champion, shortly kissing his lips and forehead during the commotion, everyone trying to get a hold of him. 
Of course, that was the highlight of the weekend even if Max didn’t win the race, but a close second was the appearance of a new WAG, a gossip both you and Max had closely followed since pretty much the beginning of the season, but you never crossed paths with her and were only aware of the confirmation when you were back in the hotel.
Now, you were mindlessly scrolling through Instagram posts, getting ready to watch the race in your apartment in Monaco with Jimmy and Sassy, the F1 app playing on the iPad screen, when a particular post caught your attention. 
It was Max, completely clueless of what was going on behind him: Rebecca and Carlos were easy to spot, absolutely not trying to hide, happy smiles and not trying to hide. 
You didn’t notice the F1 transmission was focusing on Max inside the garage, but the first thing you did was send the post to Max.
MAX BABE, YOU RUINED THE SHOT!!!
The camera kept following Max as he checked his phone for the last time, and this time you were thankful for it since you were able to check his every facial expression as he opened the message. 
What am I looking at, schatz? A terrible picture of me before the race??
Are you trying to help Lando win??
The transmission showed how GP approached Max to go over the strategy, forcing Max to hand over his phone before seeing your answers. 
Babe, she’s Carlos gf! Remember back in Barcelona when we weren’t sure if it was true? WELL IT IS
IT’S THEM IN THE BACK!!!
The gossip was soon forgotten was you watched Max win once again, texting your congratulations while pointing at Max in the TV for Jimmy and Sassy to see, even if you could sense their judgement.
Right after the podium ended the phone vibrated, your favorite part of race day when you weren’t able to be with Max, was the mandatory FaceTime call, showing you his trophy, completely soaked in champagne, giving you his best smile. 
“Congratulations honey! You were incredible, it was a great race, I’m sure you enjoyed it!” You animatedly said to him while wearing one of your own Red Bull jersey with his number on it. 
“Yes, yes… so, did he really cheat on his ex?” Max asked and you gave him a confused look.
“What are you talking about?”
Max stared at your face in the screen, giving you a look of disbelief. “Carlos! You sent me that post of that horrible picture with them in the back,”
Now that you were caught up, it was impossible not to appreciate your boyfriend right now, with his blue eyes wide open, still holding his trophy, but waiting to be updated on whatever was going on outside the track. “I have no idea if he cheated, you were the one who overheard the Ferrari mechanics!”
“But you are the WAG, schatz!” Max argued. 
You scoffed. “Yes, and I am the worst WAG ever and you know that!”
“Don’t say that about yourself, there’s nothing wrong about wanting to keep your privacy,” Max reassured you, like he always did. 
“Maybe I can put on a show next week and try to find out what people know…” You said to yourself. 
“I’m sure Charles’ ex knows… what was her name?” Max asked you while trying his best to remember. 
You chuckled before answering. “Charlotte, baby,” you replied and he nodded his head as if he was trying to tell you he always knew, it just slipped his mind. “and yeah, I’m sure she knows but I don’t want to talk to her just to interrogate her, you know? Maybe,” you were going to continue before Max interrupted.
“Schatz, I have to go but I swear I’ll figure out who may know more about this, okay? I love you, can’t wait to see you,”
You hurriedly said an “I love you” before the call ended, knowing Max was going to do his best to gather information he’d be waiting to share once you reunited in Brazil. And maybe, just maybe, you’d consider arrive to the track walking hand in hand, kissing his cheek for good luck, for everyone to see. 
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angelsinluv · 2 years ago
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angel’s fulfillment challenge
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welcome to the unofficial official challenge of angel’s vault ☆
i’m going to say this now, this isn’t going to be some crazy, different thing. this is literally how the law works lol but i say challenge because it's for those who see them as fun, want to be disciplined and set the tone for the new year! (or whenever you’re reading this)
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𝐈. the point of this challenge is to…
fall in love with imagination
enjoy fulfilling yourself
get your desires duh
stop over consuming and apply no matter if you think you need to know more.
𝐈𝐈. important guidelines!
read this post to get a gist of states because this is what this challenge is about. fulfilling yourself in imagination. you don’t need to read it every time to know you’re doing it right, this challenge will do it all for you.
affirmations and visualizations are techniques so what is your way of thinking that feels comfortable to you? sometimes you don’t even need it. for me, i mostly need to feel that i already have it. have fun, experiment with daydreams/scenes, affirming and/or feeling. it doesn't have to be the same every single time.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. steps
choose what you want. go crazy. do not condition your desires. you are limitless. if you can see it in your mind, you can have it. famous? nepo baby? money? db, df? better self concept? gender revision? time change?
decide right now you are the person who already has what the want. so guess what? there is nothing to get because you already have your desire. manifesting money? you already have it. manifesting an sp? you already have them. manifesting your dream life? you already have it. that is your state.
fulfill yourself every chance you get in the day. no you don’t have to lock yourself in the room to affirm/visualize/feel all day. no you don’t have to be in the state all day, you are always passing through states but remember, the state you constantly make your dwelling place MANIFESTS. so make an effort to return to it as much as you can and want to.
ideas: do it in the morning when you wake up, in the afternoon, whenever you have free time like on your bed, going home, walking, during class and before you go to sleep.
bonus: do this meditation by edward art daily, it's not mandatory. it's not like all the other meditations, give it a shot. get off tumblr, stop over consuming
make it fun, it’s not a chore! have fun daydreaming/visualizing you shopping with all the money you got, getting compliments from people on how they’re so amazed at how successful you are, have fun complimenting yourself in the mirror while you repeat affirmations, have fun looking around and going “yeah, i literally have ____” sounds nice and fun? because it is. manifesting is simple.
4. get your desires. there is no deadline. i hate that shit 😭 srrynotsrry, that would be contradicting the law and this challenge. you already have it, you’re not getting anything on a time crunch. not no 3 days, not a week, not two, not a month. THERE IS NOTHING TO GET WHEN YOU HAVE IT NOW. ONLY NOW.
challenge summary:
YOU ALREADY HAVE IT!
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𝐈. why should you fulfill yourself?
because when you fulfill yourself in imagination, you are changing self. and what is a reflection of self? the 3D.
it’s not your job to make things physical. your job is to change your mind.
focus on yourself. there is nothing to change or to get in the 3D because it’s nothing but a mirror that shows/proves you right in what state you identify and dwell in.
“Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.”
“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”
𝐈𝐈. additional tips
doubting? let it pass. don't give it power. why are you doubtful if it's going to come or if the law works when you have what you want right now? if you're dwelling in doubts then you're not being the person who has it.
worried about when it's going to come? that doesn't make sense because you literally have it right now lol
want to ask a question? why? you literally have it. what's there to ask? try asking yourself first.
simple.
have fun, angels. remember that YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. send me your successes in the inbox!
signed, angel ☆
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