#2x01 North

[sammaggs]

Fraser looking goofy GIF compilation

due South Stacked Rewatch Week 9!

1x07 Chicago Holiday Part 1

2x01 North

4x05 Dead Men Don’t Throw Rice

Chicago Holiday first aired on my 6th birthday (Nov. 10 1994)!! I was born for Kink Club Fraser truly.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dargon 2x01: Jacaerys and Cregan

So sad that the stay in the north was so short.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 10 Heart of Ice

Chapter 10 of Moonlight

A/N- I was giggling and kicking my feet tehehe ;)

Warning- some swearing, talks of miscarriage and death, ANGST!, FLUFF, mild NFSW, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 2x01

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

There it is, standing so tall that it looks like it’s touching the sky. It’s mesmerizing no matter how many times you’ve seen it, and it never fails to steal your breath.

Yet the wall is at its prettiest when it weeps when the sun hits it just as it rises from the ground. Right now all it does is bring forth an icier chill as the wind blows, making you hold onto your cloak for warmth.

You can only imagine how Jacaerys is fairing, this is his first time at Castle Black.

“How are you holding up?” You make sure to ask your brother as his eyes stay stuck on the towering wall.

“My balls are about to freeze off,” he makes no effort to talk properly in front of you, nor do you remind him to.

You smile at him and look at him with a soft endearment only reserved for those you deeply cherish. “It will be worth it, I promise. I cannot wait for you to see it,” you muse and cup his shoulder.

Jacaerys finally takes his eyes off the wall and meets your gaze with such a warm smile that it’s capable of melting the thickest sheets of ice.

“It better live up to everything you have said,” he remarks lightheartedly, making you drop your head to laugh softly at the ground.

“It will pass your expectations,” Cregan interjects as he finally rejoins you and leads the way to the lift that looks a bit unreliable, but all the people at Castle Black use it, and you have survived after using it so, you walk in. Slowly of course, and you don’t dare pay too much attention to the sounds it makes as it starts moving Jacaerys, Cregan, and you to the top.

“You know,” you take the attention of the rackety noise. “Perhaps one day I will send one of my children over here to take up a role as guardian of the wall.”

“Is that so?” Cregan probes.

“One of your seven?” Jacaerys jokes and you laugh softly but don’t take back what you said, catching him by some surprise.

“It’s a rare thing for a Targaryen or Velaryon to come be a brother of the Night's Watch,” you explain your thought process to the curious men. “But we are the families the people look up to. I mean I understand the sacrifice, but I believe that for us to have a good relation with the North, and for us to protect our realm against what may be out there, we too should be here with a dragon or two.”

Cregan briefly meets your gaze and hides well those emotions you stir up inside since your brother is standing at his other side, but he doesn’t stay quiet, he takes a deep breath before he parts his lips.

“You are right, the sacrifice one must commit is great, but duty is sacrifice,” Cregan begins to say. “It eclipses all things, even blood. All men of honor must pay its price. The North owes a great duty to the Seven Kingdoms, one older than any oath. Since the day of the first men, we have stood as guardians against the cold and the dark. Through its long tradition, the Night's Watch cultivated its strength from doomed men who had their life as their only possession. But my ancestor, Torrhen Stark began a tradition by making an offering at the onset of winter; one in 10 men from our household was to be chosen to fortify the Watch. This is not a sentence but an honor. A duty embraced by all who serve the North. Even by mine own kin. Thus I respect your decision, My Princess.”

He talks so well that even these long comments captivate you, and that’s hard to do because you get so easily bored.

“The North must stand ready,” Cregan adds without losing a breath. “Winter is coming.”

“Coming?” Jacaerys interjects. “What is this, then, that falls from the skies and shivers my bones?”

You roll your eyes away and scoff softly.

He thinks he’s so funny.

“This is only a late summer snow, my prince,” Cregan says something he’s already mentioned once before. “In winter, it will cover all you see and all memories of warmth will be forgotten.”

You look through the gaps on the wooden walls but the lift then shakes so you step back and stand closer to Cregan.

“It pleases me to think that over a century ago our ancestors treated in this very place,” Jacaerys mentions with a lighthearted look on his face. “The Conqueror and the King in the North.”

You can’t help but smile at the thought and the history the Starks share with your ancestors. It’s so bittersweet. But it’s all so corny of Jacaerys to say, he sounds just as infatuated as you.

You would tease him, but now doesn’t seem like the time so you just smile wider to yourself.

Cregan’s gaze wanders to you after your brother's words, and you share some of that sweetness with him because regardless of it all, you are happy Jacaerys expressed his fondness for Cregan.

And when Cregan does see your smile some of that hardened demeanor melts.

“You, at least had the mercy not to threaten me with your dragon,” Cregan quips at your brother jokingly, leaving him silent until he queries.

“Did my sister threaten you with her dragon?”

Does he think of you as some wild beast or something?

Regardless, Cregan's eyes soften before he shakes his head and tells him what you did do. “No, but she did threaten to go over the wall and escape when she first got to Winterfell six years ago.” He says and tilts his head over to you, but you look out the window and shake your head.

“I was having a hard time adjusting,” you remind him. “And I did not end up going over the wall.”

“No,” he mutters softer as if speaking with admiration. “You did not.”

You lift your eyes off the icy wall and let yourself meet and hold his gaze with a soft look just until the lift finally lands on the top because when it comes to a sudden halt the wooden lift shakes, and you’re reminded why you hate coming to the top this way—You almost reach out to Cregan to keep yourself balanced and safe, but you stop yourself and just stand stiffly until finally he opens the door for you and your brother, letting you feel like you can breathe again when you’re on stable ground.

“My Prince, My Princess,” one of the brothers greets you while you slip your arm around your brothers to hold onto more warmth as the coldness nips at your skin.

“My Lord.”

“My Lord,” other brothers greet Cregan while he walks after you until finally he catches up and leads you to one side.

“Surely the great Torrhen Stark would’ve sooner died than bent the knee,” you chose to return to the previous topic as you watch Jacaerys’ eyes fall on every single detail you pass by. “Unless he believed the Conqueror could bring unity to the Seven Kingdoms.”

Cregan nods. “You are right in that,” he agrees.

“That unity is now threatened,” Jacaerys goes on for you with another clever workaround to the subject at hand. “The realm will soon tear itself apart if men do not remember the oaths sworn to King Viserys and to his rightful heir.”

Again you can’t help but be proud of the way he speaks. But you also know this second attempt won’t mend Cregan Stark’s choice.

“Stark’s do not forget their oaths, my Prince,” Cregan reminds him proudly. “But you must know that my gaze is forever torn between North and South.”

Jacaerys glances over at you with discreet disappointment, and you press him an, ‘I told you so’ look right back.

“In winter, my duty to the Wall is even more dire than the one I owe to King’s Landing,” Cregan strengthens his argument. “I need my men here.”

You swallow thickly as you come to a halt just under a post, and Jacaerys turns you around with him to pass Cregan a hard look that furrows his eyebrows. “Whilst your men guard against wildlings and weather the Hightowers plan to usurp the throne,” he remarks.

You grip onto him as a warning for him to calm down, but he doesn’t understand.

“If my mother is to defend her claim,” Jacaerys presses while Cregan guides all of you up the stairs. “To hold the realm united she needs an army. War is coming to the whole of the realm, my lord. We cannot wage it without the support of the North…” Jacaerys trails off when he reaches the top and finally sees with his own eyes the never-ending land beyond the wall, the beauty that you promised, and what you could never fully describe in words.

He moves toward the end of the post and you let your arm slip off his to let him admire for himself the beauty and the mystery that is the North, and the freedom it holds in its cold wilderness.

You can now honestly say you know the pride Cregan felt when he first brought you up here because you feel it. You are not from here, but seeing your brother be so captivated by what’s beyond the wall makes you fill with excitement that you can’t put into words, you can just express it with admiration and awe in your eyes.

Cregan notices and admires you while your brother's attention is far away, and to his surprise, you feel his stare and return his soft gaze while you also let your gloved knuckles brush against each other as you let yourself be swooped up once again by the comfort you have been fighting to feel.

Yet you don’t let yourself get completely carried away, nor do you cross the line by letting your fingers touch, you keep your smile and join your brother's side.

“Was it everything you expected?” You ask before you’re brought back to the cruel reality.

Jacaerys laughs softly and nods. “It was everything you said and more…it feels like I could stay here and admire this forever.”

“It would get cold,” you joke, making him chuckle.

“It would be pleasant,” he murmurs.

You nod in agreement and dread returning to the sore subject, but you will lose yourself.

“I brought your sister, and my father brought King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne to see the Wall,” Cregan finally rejoins your company. “His Grace stood at this very outlook and watched as their dragons the greatest power in the world, refused to cross it.”

Jacaerys snaps his head to you and probes for more. “Even adventurous Astraea?”

You look out and nod. “Yes. She perches herself on the wall but never once does she fly over, nor does she dare fly over just to turn. I tried to command her to cross but she disobeyed me,” you back up Cregan's argument and feel a chill crawl down your spine at the reminder.

“Do you think my ancestors built a 700-hundred-foot wall of ice to keep out snow and savages?” Cregan presses your brother in a colder tone that almost works to frighten you.

“What does it keep out?” Jacaerys asks.

Cregan leans in closer to your brother and speaks one word. “Death.”

You swallow back nervously and share your uneasiness with your brother with a simple look that actually helps him let go of some of that tension and ignorance he held.

“I have thousands of graybeards,” Cregan finally offers and breaks the speechless moment between Jacaerys and you. “Who've already seen too many winters. They are well-honed.”

You loll your head to the side and snicker, while Jacaerys says what you were thinking. “So they’re old?”

“I can ready them to march at once,” Cregan assures him and you.

Jacaerys breathes out and accepts the offer. “If your graybeards can fight, the Queen will have them.”

“They will fight hard,” Cregan states with a hint of pride and some faint smugness. “Like Northerners.”

You glance over at him and catch that smugness on his usually serious face and you can’t help your heart from skipping a beat when he glances at you with the same look.

“My Lord,” a man calls for Cregan’s attention, making his face fall hard once again. “A ravens arrived.”

The man approaches the post breathing hard as if in a hurry and hands Cregan a scroll. “Urgent news from Dragonstone,” he announces, making you understand his urgency, and causing you to fall serious and nervous yourself.

But if it is bad news wouldn't it be sent directly to Jacaerys and you?

Maybe?

Unless—

You can’t let yourself think the worst, but you still share your worry with your brother before you watch Cregan unravel the scroll to read what the news is.

He doesn’t take long to read, but it feels like he is reading for eternity in the waiting silence until finally he puts the scroll down and meets your gaze. This time when you lock eyes your heart skips a beat out of worry instead of awe, this time a smugness doesn’t play in his eyes or tug the corner of his lips up, his eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is clenched like when he makes his face hard, but you can read him clear as day as you simply hold his gaze.

You can see the pity pulling his lips down, and a soft apologetic look in his grey eyes that makes them appear darker. He doesn’t need to say anything for you to know that what he read wasn’t a simple warning or a call home, they’re dark words that he almost but says.

You want to ask, he knows that, he sees your worry heighten in your furrowed brows and parted lips, so with a simple blink his face softens as he gives you sorrow, making your eyes immediately cloud with tears. While in the back, Jacaerys sees it, your shared past. He figures it out in the exchange that is far more complex than one friends should share, but it all makes sense now.

Your friendship always slightly caught his attention, it bugged him in some way. Not because he felt bad for Aemond that you were so sweet on another man, but all your interactions were always weird he just didn’t figure out why until this very moment as Cregan fails to look over at him after what he read, as he watches this speechless interaction and sees the deep aching softness on the Lord's face and a deep set heartache in your eyes.

He had only seen such a speechless complexity in his mother and Ser Harwin. He was too young to realize it then but as he got older he understood what happened around him, and doesn’t fail to understand now.

Yet as much as he wants to give into this anger he feels boil within him at the thought of Lord Stark taking advantage of you in your five years in Winterfell, the news that awaits him helps him stay collected. Thus he steps forward without causing a scene and finally, Lord Stark drives all the attention to him, letting him finally receive the scroll, and leave you waiting longer without focusing on Cregan any longer. Now you turn to face your brother as he reads what was sent.

Once again it feels like what was written is getting read at an infuriatingly slow pace, but now you’re not impatient to know. You’re scared to know or read Jacaerys' face now. But you keep your eyes on your brother and watch his jaw unclench and his lips part to let out a soft gasp, while his once steady hands begin to tremble, and his eyes…water.

“Jacaerys,” you almost plead his name out.

That anger he had at the waiting completely disappears and he slowly looks up at you with a loud and heartbreaking sorrow.

“Jace,” you mewl.

Said man licks his lips and sniffles before he grabs your arm and gently pulls you aside.

“Listen to me,” his voice quivers and only makes your heart race faster than it’s already beating.

“Is it…” you trail off to catch your breath. “A-Aerion?”

Jacaerys shakes his head and keeps in those tears that fill his eyes. “No, Aerion is fine,” he assures you but you don’t feel relieved.

“What?” You beg for an answer and reach for his hands, but he lifts them and tucks loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“When,” he says shakily. “Lucerys was in StormsEnd, Aemond…”

You start to shake your head and his bottom lip trembles.

“Aemond killed Lucerys,” Jacaerys finally reveals quietly.

A cold breeze hits you and all that you had been feeling gets lost in the wind, leaving you numb.

Jacaerys calls your name but you stare ahead blankly. Theres nothing that crosses your mind, there’s nothing you feel that makes you react. You know it’s heavy and painful news, you knew they were dark words when Cregan told you speechlessly, but you can’t accept the truth that’s given. You don’t want to, you can’t because if you do then it means you will accept that your husband, the man you love…did what was written, and you don’t want to accept that.

However, Jacaerys calls out for you again and this time he grabs your arms and steals your attention, forcing you to once again connect to what you refused to feel.

“No,” you blurt and push him back. “You’re lying. You’re a liar.”

Jacaerys shows you the scroll as he gets close again. “You can read it yourself. It’s the truth, Lucerys…he’s,” he strains to say. “He’s…dead.”

Your heart drops and a flood of emotions rams through you, knocking the air out of your lungs, and making your legs weak.

Jacaerys grabs your arms and holds you up before you can fall and pulls you to him, letting you see how red his eyes are, and how drowned they are with tears he’s holding back.

“Jace,” you mewl and cover your mouth to sob.

Your brother nods in understanding without you having to express the rest of your sorrow. “I know,” he whispers. “I know.”

“Oh gods,” you gasp and drop your head while grabbing at your chest as you can’t seem to catch a breath. You can’t breathe. There’s so much air where you are, it’s so crisp but you can’t manage to take in any which in return only lets you feel the pounding of your heart, the rushing of your blood, and a rush of memories of your little brother Lucerys.

All you can think about is Lucerys, you imagine his last moments, and with every memory and every fake scenario the more you fail to grasp for air.

In the distance, Cregan watches how you’re breaking down, but no matter how much he wants to, he has to stay put even if it hurts not being able to help you when you need him the most. He does get close to trying something small since you are in so much pain trying to breathe, and your brother seems a bit lost on how to help you, but Jacaesys then does the first thing he thinks of and pulls you into an embrace.

Thankfully right away, at the feeling of your brother's weight, and at the feeling of his warmth, all those rushing memories slowly disappear, letting you draw in a deep breath. You pull him closer and bury your head in the crook of his neck whilst you wrap your hand around the back of his neck, and push his head down to let him bury his face on your shoulder so he can express everything he refuses to show to the public.

When he clutches onto the back of your cloak your heart comes to a slow pace, but it doesn’t stop weeping. With every ba-dum, you feel an aching pain in your chest that doesn’t go away.

Eventually, after a short time, Jacaerys pulls back and gives his back to Cregan to wipe away his tears before facing him with a sorrow that isn’t able to wipe off. “We need to go, my Lord. You’ll have to forgive us for not accompanying you back to Winterfell, but with our dragons here we need to make haste to return to Dragonstone.”

You grab at your chest and gently caress it as if that would cure you’re heartache while Jacaerys shares something you agree to without the need for a discussion.

Albeit Cregan is the one who protests. “It will get dark soon, why do you not wait until first light to take flight? Wait until you both have collected yourselves so you don't do anything rash in the heat of the moment.”

You shake your head and interject in a broken voice. “The storm won’t pass, Lord Stark. We’ll just face it head-on and leave, our mother needs us.”

Cregan steps forward, gaining a brief glance from you. “Just eat, and rest…I know the pain of losing a brother, I understand your grief, my heart is with you,” he tries to relate so you would listen. “I have lost many others too, I know the anger, please just let yourselves calm down before you return home. I will stay with you here.”

You know your brother too, you know how angry he can get. You know that once your grief really settles you’ll also start thinking of what happened and you’ll get upset too. Thus you don’t hurry to answer, you look at your brother and he looks at you. And without a word, you come to the same conclusion.

“All right,” Jacaerys says for the both of you. “We will stay, but leave at first light. Thank you, my Lord.”

——

*LATER*

Nothing makes sense.

Why? How?

Those questions are what runs around and around in your head accompanied by different terrifying scenarios that could’ve led to the act. A lot of it points to an accident, you want to believe in your heart of hearts that what…Aemond did was an accident. You don’t want to believe that this remorse got the best of him, he’s supposed to be better, he’s supposed to keep it in for your sake.

He knows how much you love your brothers, he knows he can hate them all he wants, but he can’t hurt them. And yes! You know that war was going to happen no matter what, and violence was going to be dragged in between your families, but Aemond went out of his way to…kill Lucerys when all he was was an envoy.

He killed your brother. Your husband killed your brother, and in turn, betrayed you in the worst way possible. He tore your heart out, and what hurts more is that he hasn’t said what he did in the multiple ravens he’s sent! Just like always, he never tells you a thing!

What are you supposed to believe, but the worst? You want to believe he’s good behind all that hard demeanor, you defend him against your family when they say something bad because you want to believe he has a good heart, but what does killing Lucerys prove? That you’ve been wrong all along?

Gods!

Damn it! Why did he have to do it? Why did he take Lucerys?

A knock raps on your door, but you’re so drowned in your heartache that you don’t hear the sound. It’s not until you hear your name being called out softly behind that door that you almost wake up from your stupor.

“It is I, Cregan,” he announces without the need to, you knew who he was the moment he uttered the first word. “Can I talk to you? You didn’t come for supper.”

You blink repeatedly to relieve the dry spell in your eyes after not blinking for a few seconds and clutch onto the ring you were fiddling with before you get up and unlock the door. You don’t proceed to say anything, you walk away from the door and stand against the fireplace, but Cregan takes the unlocked door as an invitation and walks in, finding your food untouched, you in your nightgown, and your head down.

“I came to check on you,” he says softly as if careful not to hurt you even more with his voice. When he gets no response or even a small breath, he walks in further and notices now how unkempt you are; you’re usually so precise with the way you keep yourself, you always look so clean and tidy, it was only in the morning when you first woke up that he would catch you off guard, but now it’s like you don’t care how you look.

“I hope you are not going to bed with your hair down like that,” he tries to be lighthearted. “You hate having your hair tangled in the morning.”

He waits for a reaction, a soft ‘oh’, but you stay quiet and it just deepens his concern.

“Darling,” he uses your pet name and you finally break from your stupor and turn partially to face him.

He expected a sweet look just out of instinct, but those usually wonder-filled eyes are clouded by agony and tears that can’t even fall down your cheeks anymore; while the fires fierce light brings clarity to your deep set frown, knitted brows, and puffy face worn out from crying.

“Here,” he breathes out and catches a gleam coming from in between your fingers. When he fills his curiosity he notices that the firelight is dancing on a sapphire ring you cannot stop fiddling with in between your fingers; a ring he had not seen you take off once since he saw you. Which must mean your husband gave it to you.

He doesn’t want to ask for many reasons, so he approaches you from behind and gently starts braiding your hair in silence you cannot seem to fill. It’s almost like there was no one inside your body, you were a hollow body left soulless.

“I understand why you locked your door,” he mentions in hopes that would get him a simple reaction. “However, it does not seem necessary, your dragons are restless and it stirs up fear in the brothers. And I am here as well.”

Your back raises as you draw in a deep breath, but rather than filling the silence with a dry response, or some remark, you just breathe out, making him steal a glance at the side of your face that he can see from behind you, before he pulls out the leather strip that keeps half of his hair out of his face to keep your own braid in place instead. He then proceeds to shuffle to your side to grab your arm.

“Sit down, Princess.” He commands softly.

You don’t fight him, you let him guide you down to your seat, and once he’s feeding the fire more wood your hoarse voice finally fills the room.

“I should have gone back to King's Landing…A—He sent me a raven the day after when my grandsire the King died. He didn’t tell me of course, but he told me to go back…I should have listened, I…” you pause to catch your breath. “Maybe then Lucerys…” you trail off and whimper whilst you drop your head in your hands.

Cregan leaves the last piece of wood in the fire and then wipes his hands on his shirt while he stands up to close the gap between you.

“Don't,” he says firmly and crouches down in front of you to grab your hands and pull them down so you can meet his gaze. “Do not blame yourself for your brother's death. What happened is not your fault to carry. What happened is dealt with, don’t dwell on things that can no longer happen.”

You hold his gaze while you process his words for a second and then look down at the ring you still hold.

“I’m sorry,” he says sorrowful words that bring your heart some comfort, but also make your body tremble while those tears that you once couldn’t muster, come rushing down your already stained cheeks.

Nothing else is spoken, and nothing is asked of either of you, but out of instinct your arms slip around his neck, and he returns the embrace and follows you to your feet where he keeps holding you and lets you cry on his shoulder; for hours? For a few seconds? You don’t know, you dwell in his comfort that you missed and relish in it until you stop crying.

He probably should have been the one to pull away, but he doesn’t complain, not once. He lets you pull back on your own time, and even then he grabs your arms to keep you close so he can cup your cheeks and caress them for a final piece of comfort to your aching heart.

Yet that proves to be a mistake because as you linger in his proximity, your eyes fall on his lips and you’re overwhelmed with a passion-filled heat that pushes your lips against his.

At first, Cregan is so stunned by the warmth of your lips on his, and then he’s taken by the excitement of feeling your lips reconnecting that he closes his eyes and kisses you back, but when his lust begins to rush through his blood he pulls back and groans.

“No,” he shakes his head and slides his hands down your face to grab your shoulders, leaving a burning trail down your skin. “You are married. No matter what happened you are still married, and you’re grieving.”

You want to forget your pain for a moment and be consumed by the comfort, bliss, and excitement he provides, but he’s also right. And how can you do that to Aemond…

But…

Maybe you don’t care if it hurts him because he hurt you. He won’t know either way—But you will know, you will know that it’s something that can hurt him, and you…don’t care. But Cregan…is right.

“I’m sorry,” you throw out and step away from him, feeling a chill hit those parts of you that he kept warm with his touch—“you are right. I’m sorry.”

Cregan turns away and swallows back thickly, feeling somewhat disappointed that he has to turn down this heat of the moment. “Perhaps I shall bid you a goodnight now.”

You swallow back to hide your disappointed sigh and nod. “Yes, goodnight Cregan.”

Said man avoids looking at you when he turns. It makes it easier to walk away from you. But when his hand touches the door handle he doesn’t turn it to open it, he stands there frozen with his back turned to you as he feels his honor start to slip.

He turns his head but doesn’t peek over right away, he fights himself but quickly falters when he feels the ghost of your wet lips haunting his. And when he fully looks back and sees the shadow of your sculpted figure in your white nightgown his inner battle is lost. He only proves his loss by locking the door and turning completely to face you, turning around as well.

“Cregan?” You query, puzzled by his presence.

Said man draws out a deep breath before he strides back to you with determination in his step and surprises you by grabbing your face the moment he can. You want to utter his name, but a small gasp is all that goes past your lips whilst you drop the ring that Aemond had gifted you.

“I pride myself in my honor,” he says while his eyes flicker between your parted lips and your shocked gaze. “But when it comes to you it’s turned to ash, nothing stops me from wanting you, from…” he trails off and leans forward, but you don’t allow your lips to touch. You shift your head away, but he follows you to keep your breaths unfurling over each other's lips.

“…desiring you in every way a gentleman shouldn’t. I burn for you when you’re far, and even when I dream of you. It is wrong.” He nods, and you nod too without much effort. “But you are my weakness, you have always been my weakness. You’re my joy, the reason I laugh, and also the reason I don’t march to King's Landing and bring you to Winterfell to make you mine,” he whispers against your lips, making a smile make an appearance on your saddened face.

“Tell me this is wrong, tell me to leave now,” he tells you and drags his eyes up to meet yours so you can know he’s being serious. “And I will. I will leave your chambers and when morning comes I’ll bid you farewell with no remorse and as nothing more than friends.”

As if being hypnotized to his lips you lean forward, but only let your lips brush, leaving your heart pounding as it screams for you to connect.

“I still have to leave,” you make it known while you gently cup his jaw to touch some part of him. “I have to return to Dragonstone no matter what.”

Cregan’s eyebrows pinch together and he hesitates before he nods. “I understand,” he mutters and glances at your lips again. “But that doesn’t change a thing if you tell me to leave.”

You should. You're still married even if Aemond betrayed you by killing your brother. And deep deep down a lot of your conflict comes because you don’t know if you did stop loving the man who killed your brother, but that reason is also why you want to give in to your deepest burning desire.

That reason is why you’re selfish and don’t resist Cregan or stop your heart from swooning at his confession.

“Don’t leave,” is all he needs to hear to smile widely before he finally feeds your desire by kissing you slowly, fueling that passionate heat that completely takes over your body, and leaving you still and breathless for a moment as you relish in the sweet taste of his soft lips melting with yours, guiding your every movement, and driving you mad with lust.

You had forgotten this dream-like feeling, you had forgotten how fast he makes your heart race when he’s kissing you, and you forgot how hot you burn when his fingers explore the perimeters of your body. Furthermore, you forgot how eager he can get until you feel his grip on the back of your gown.

You pull away quickly and protest. “No, no, wait, do not rip it.”

Cregan fingers loosen and you start to giggle. “Why do you always want to rip my gowns?” You bring up, making his lips lift to a smirk.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers between heavy breaths.

You press a kiss on his lips and then tell him, “gently.”

He breathes out deeply and nods once before he slides his fingers back to the ribbon tying your gown together, and slowly begins to untie it while you drift your lips to kiss the corner of his mouth, and then kiss his jaw before you graze your lips up and kiss the corner of his jaw.

Cregan lets out a groan from the back of his throat, making you feel chills grow on your skin.

“I hate all these layers,” he musters while you continue to leave a trail of kisses down to his neck. “They are so infuriating.”

You smile against his neck, causing you to feel his nails dig in your skin.

“It keeps me warm,” you tell him and lick a stripe up to his lips. “Your North is cold, my Lord.”

Cregan clenches his jaw and shakes his head. “A little less with your presence,” he completely wins you over, making you grin and look at him in awe.

“I missed you,” he finally lets himself confess to you. “My darling love.”

You sigh and whisper back. “I missed you too.”

His eyes gleam brighter and that short absence is filled once again with your lips while he finally slips off your gown, leaving you under a simple sheer gown that he slips off with ease.

“You’re beautiful,” he says with awe, and his eyes dark with lust.

“It’s no fair,” you argue between kisses and slowly drag your hands down to help him pull off his layers. “And you say I wear a lot of layers,” you comment, making him scoff.

You finally end up pulling the last one off and throw it to the side mindlessly as you’re captivated by his toned torso and those thick arms that he unfairly hides under all those garments.

“Kiss me,” you command in a voice oozing with honey.

“Gladly,” is all he says before capturing your face to smash his lips on yours and this time make out more roughly as he’s filled with a much more hungry need.

Your own need lets you multitask by unbuckling his pants and tugging on them so he can pull them off in the brief pause you have between devouring each other. Yet when his member is out for you to see, you take a moment to admire how girthy and hard it is, and how perfect every vein is on his length.

You can’t help but start to go on your knees, but he grabs your bicep and pulls you back up to drift you away from that need.

“No,” he says out of breath and instead wraps his arms around you, and presses his lips on your neck to start leaving wet kisses on your flesh while he also slides his hands down your body, making you shiver at the feeling of his warm hands caressing you gently.

Without lifting his mouth off your neck he drifts his hand behind your knee, and with no explanation, he pulls your leg up to help you climb up and wrap your legs around his waist so he can walk you back to the edge of the bed, and gently put you down.

Once you’re lying on your back he pulls back but leans down to press his hands beside your head, and simply hold your gaze with this endearing look that makes his eyes smile.

“I'm going inside you,” he warns you, making you shiver and swallow thickly as you already imagine the stretch. “You need to be quiet.”

You part your lips but utter nothing, instead, you lift your head and he responds by giving you what you wanted, a deep kiss, while he grabs his length and aligns himself with your hole. When his tip touches you you gasp and he grins before taking your lips again to distract you while he slowly penetrates you.

Albeit the stretch is so wonderful and filling that you claw your nails on his back and scratch his back as he keeps going in deeper. Once all the way inside he finally pulls his face back to whisper. “You were made for me. You belong with me.”

You don’t respond with words, you cup his cheeks and brush strands of his hair behind his ears before you slide your hand to the back of his neck to gently pull him down. “Cregan make me yours,” you finally fill the silence, feeling as if his cock hardens even more before he finally starts moving his hips, filling you with a blinding ecstasy that heightens this passionate moment, and makes you only think about him and the pleasure he feels and gives you. You forget your sorrows and the grudge. You forget the war and the responsibilities you have.

You’re selfish in the lust-filled night and remain ignorant even before it's time to get out of bed. You just relish in Cregan's presence for a bit longer.

“Cregan…” you whisper, and the man hums in response letting you sigh before you share what’s been bothering you. “I do not like that I am the reason you disregard your honor. I do not like putting you through that.”

The hand on your back stops moving and a small huff rolls out of his nose. “I think it’s late to start thinking about that.”

You blink repeatedly with discontent and abruptly sit up to face him. “I am not jesting,” you press sharply. “I’m being serious. You hold your honor in high regard, I hate to be the one who makes it falter.”

A faint smile tugs on his lips without regard to your comment before he leans forward and assures you. “I have my honor, I never forget it, but I love you more. I’m being selfish without disregarding everything to be it. I know how to hold myself back,” he says firmly and cups your cheek to bring you closer to him. “I know where I stand, I am just choosing to have a taste of happiness. You, my darling, are my happiness.”

Your eyes water and your heart swoons, there’s nothing you can say that would measure up to the kind things he just said, all you can do is press a lingering kiss on his warm lips before you lay your head down on his chest, and hold onto him like he’s your security blanket.

“I…could offer you and your Aerion refuge here,” he offers and makes your pounding heart hurt.”

“Here? In Castle Black?” You tease without sounding too amused.

Cregan scoffs and starts to caress your arm. “Not here. In Winterfell,” he clarifies without a hint of falter at the mention of your son who is fathered by someone else who does bring him pangs of jealousy every time he remembers you’re married, and when he hears his name. “I would make sure no one could touch you and your boy there. He wouldn’t have to grow up around so much violence and you would not have to worry.”

You tilt your head down to kiss his shoulder before you give his offer an answer. “It's a nice offer, but my place is not hiding in a cage like some frightened bird. My place is out there, with my mother, with my brother, and the rest of my family fighting with the dragon I have. My mother needs me and I don’t want to leave her alone.”

Cregan doesn’t interject with anything, his chest rises and slowly falls back down, letting you know your response slightly wounded him.

“Instead of having her husband with her when she lost my sister,” you begin to say quieter but filled with frustration. “Daemon was out leading her council. I was the one who held her when she cradled my sister's lifeless body. I…have to be there for her now.”

“I understand,” he doesn’t falter to assure you. “But you must know if you ever find yourself needing somewhere to go, Winterfell is yours. You and your son are welcome.”

You lift your head off him to face him in the little space left between you. “I will always remember that. Thank you,” you say from the bottom of your heart.

A smile twitches on his serious face, and he proceeds to press a feathered kiss on your lips before he grins and says. “Sing for me? Just for me.”

You giggle and gently smack his shoulder. “No,” you answer bluntly and lay back down basically on him.

“Why not?” He chuckles. “It's not like you have to fear enchanting me with your song, you already have.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up. Anyway!” You change the subject. “I was supposed to stop writing to you. I had already planned it.”

Cregan sighs and his chin rests on the top of your head. “I know,” he mutters. “You stopped writing as much as you would recently.”

Your smile falls but you grow desperate and hopeful. “But…you will answer me when I write to you in the weeks to come, right?”

He shrugs and interjects. “If that’s what you want, I will.”

You nod softly. “I do.”

You lift yourself up again to face him so he knows you’re being sincere. “I do.”

He grabs your cheek and his eyes soften. “Are you frightened?” He makes sure to ask.

You swallow thickly and shake your head. “No. Nervous, but not scared.”

He smirks and slides his hand down to caress your chin. “That’s my girl. You know how to fight, use that.” He tells you.

You laugh nervously. “I’ve never had to actually use my skill for violence.”

Your swordsmanship and your skills with archery were never for the intent of being some warrior, you like the idea of being like Queen Visenya Targaryen, and Princess Alyssa, but mostly your need to be trained with a sword and with archery was because you took it as a challenge. They said you couldn’t have it and you challenged them. Thus now that you’re having to face this war and the potential of having to use your skill, you’re honestly quite nervous.

You’ve never admitted that. You don’t want to admit it to anyone but him so they don't feel like you aren’t reliable.

“It won’t be easy,” Cregan says the truth. “But when you face your enemy, do not hesitate. Think quickly but be smart and do not let them gain the upper hand. You have a dragon, use her, and you have skill, good skill. Use it.”

You let out a shaky breath and nod in comprehension. He offers you a gentle smile and pulls you down to press his forehead against yours.

“You must know I will wait for you. Just a while longer.”

Asking what will happen after a while passes scares you, so you leave it be and just give him an honest response. “If fate ends up letting me choose, I will finally come home to you.”

He flashes you a charming smile that eases that worry in your heart and only works to sink you further down into this little escape.

“Now,” he coos against your lips. “Will you sing for me?”

You roll your eyes with a flattered smile featured on your face before you pull away to lay back on his chest and finally do as he asks of you as a parting gift where there aren't multiple people watching you, and pushing you down to hide or pretend that you’re nothing more than friends. You sing him a song for only him to hear before you take your leave and face reality once again.

——

*SOMETIME LATER. DRAGONSTONE*

What good is actually facing reality? Facing a dead beloved brother, and the fact that it was someone who you loved that killed him?

Dragonstone is a painful reminder of what happened while you were away. Only now that pain in your heart is tenfold and you don’t think anyone can actually know the pain that plagues you. Who can truly understand what it is you carry? No one is married to the man who killed Lucerys. They can hate him with ease, but you?

You want to despise him, you fought yourself the entire flight back to Dragonstone to hate him and view him as another enemy, to view him like you view Aegon, but as much as you think you hate him, your heart fights hard to try and tell a different tale. And that’s what makes it worse.

Thus it's easier, it was almost healing, having an escape with Cregan, but now there’s no one who will silence your cries. And what makes matters worse is facing your heartbroken mother. You don’t like seeing her cry or be hurt, when she lost Visenya your pain could never equate to what she was feeling, but you hurt too with every groan, with all the blood that she spilled, and every sob. Now you’re moments away from her and your heart and soul are already shattering.

However, after you watch your dragon disappear into the caves with Vermax, and take a step inside the castle, a hand wraps around your forearm and you’re pulled into a dark dead end where there aren't prying eyes or nearby ears.

“<Tell me the truth,” Jacaerys spats in a whisper so no one would hear the sound of his words also protected by High Valyrian. “About you and Lord Stark.>”

You can’t help yourself, you blink repeatedly in disbelief and gape like a fish out of water.

“< There's no point in lying,” he only further surprises you. “I figured it out when he got the letter from Dragonstone. I would see it every time you would talk but I never pieced it together until yesterday. It all made sense then, the glances, what you would tell each other, and every story you told about him.>”

Tears fill your eyes and your heart echos in your ears as you’re struck with shame. Not for loving another man, but that Jacaerys found out.

“<He touched you?>” He proceeds to ask in your shocked silence.

And it’s in that silence where he figures out your unspoken response and finally lets go of your arm to turn away with a scoff.

“<He never forced himself on me,” you defend Cregan. “Everything we did was because we wanted it to happen. We love each other.>”

Jacaerys turns on his heels with frustration and clutches onto your arms to sneer. “<You saw how much mother suffered because she was with Ser Harwin. Did you not learn anything?>”

You know he’s remarking all that stuff to your face because he cares. He’s being thoughtful in his way but it doesn’t stop you from crying, and when you shed tears you hit a cord in your brother's heart and he lets go of you with a sigh.

“<If you weren’t already married I would turn back and force him, but alas,>,” he mutters and sighs again before turning and dropping his head in his hands.

“<He would’ve too,” you defend his honor. “But I did not want Aemond to hurt him with Vhagar. I choose not to marry him, please don’t blame him. He’s a good man.>”

Jacaerys shakes his head in disappointment and turns to face you with his eyes narrowed into a fierce glare and his lips curled in a snarl. “How am I not supposed to blame him?” He remarks in the common tongue. “He had his way with you and did not do what he was supposed to do! What an honorable man would do!”

“I told you already, I told him not to because of Aemond.”

Jacaerys grabs his face and rubs the bridge of his nose, so you continue to try and calm him down.

“He was always respectful and kind. And…” you pause and lick your lips before you utter the reality. “There’s nothing you can do about it now. There's no use in being upset, I am married and that won’t change even if I love him unless Aemond dies. So please,” you plead softer and step towards him to grab his arm so he can face you. “Please Jace, keep it a secret. No one must know. It’s in the past. Please don’t tell a soul.”

Jacaerys eyes snap to you and he clenches his jaw as he looks at you thoughtfully for a few agonizing moments before he sighs and whispers. “Fine. I will not tell anyone only because there’s nothing I can do now.”

You sigh with relief and wipe away your tears before you offer him a thankful smile and a sweeter comment. “Thank you so much. Thank you, Jace, really. I love you.”

Jacaerys lets out a deep breath and his face slowly lets that frustration go, and instead slowly falls to express a soft sorrow. You slide your hand down his arm to cup his hand and slowly mirror that grief as you remember what you lost and that pain you both now harbor.

No matter how hard you wish, there’s nothing in this world that can change what happened, no one can bring back your fallen brother. And what’s even crueler is that no matter how hopeful you were for the news to be a lie, you’re home now and that hope lies with Lucerys.

You both come to the same realization and speechlessly exchange it, bringing you both into each other's embrace to cry now without care.

And deep down you both want to stay close in just the way you are so neither of you run the risk of losing each other the way you lost Lucerys. It’s a foolish thought, but it’s one brought by grief, and a new fear set in both of your hearts because no matter how much you love your little brothers, nothing can compare to the bond the three of you had. A bond that now consists of Jacaerys and you. Just him and you.

“Jacaerys,” your moment is interrupted by a feminine voice that also speaks your name but does not belong to your mother. And when you both break away and look over you see Baela stand at the end of the hall with her hands clasped together and a pitiful look in her eyes.

“Baela,” you greet and wipe your tears away while Jacaerys turns to wipe his own tears away.

“Welcome back home,” she speaks sweetly.

You offer her a thankful nod before you walk over to her and meet her halfway with an embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly.

You nod and then interject. “Thank you.” You pull back and glance around in search of her twin. “Where’s Rhaena?”

Baela sighs. “In her chambers.”

You wished to greet her just as you returned home, but now you’ll have to speak to her after you speak with your mother.

“And what about…” you trail off and hesitate. “What about my mother?”

Baela glances behind you as Jacaerys approaches you and then gives you the answer you wanted. “I’ll take you to her.”

You offer her a thankful smile and watch her walk to Jacaerys to wrap her arms around him and offer him sweeter condolences. When the moment passes she guides you to your mother and your heart begins to pound, while your stomach twists and makes you feel almost nauseous at the anticipation. You already know you’re going to break even more, but there’s something about thinking about your mother being heartbroken that already tears you apart.

And maybe a part of it is because…it feels like you had a hand in her heartbreak because it was your husband who killed Lucerys.

It was not really you, you know that. You were oblivious to your husband's affairs, but no matter what anyone says, yes, that’s what is dwelling within, your guilt. It rattles you to the point you can’t be comfortable in your own skin.

As you get closer to your mother's quarters breathing gets hard once again, and your surroundings begin to dim, leaving only the narrow path ahead visible. You want to run away and not face the pain you’ll see. But when the doors to your mother's quarters open and you see her sitting across the fireplace, alone and in the dark, that panic settles as if she was the fresh air you needed to calm down, leaving you with the need to be embraced by her warmth and comfort, while also giving the same in return.

“Your Grace,” you greet her softly once Baela clears the room and leaves only you and your brother with your mother.

Your pounding heart starts racing once again, but it’s not out of fear, it’s racing out of a need to ease your pain, and the pain you clearly see on her delicate face. Yet you hold strong with tears stinging in your eyes already.

“Lady Jayne Arryn has pledged her support,” Jacaerys breaks the emotional silence to share the support you both gained when you were away on a mission. “…In exchange for a dragon to guard the Vale,” you hear the tear in your brother's voice, and when you glance over at him you see him fiddling with his hands while his eyes grow more and more teary, making your already weak hold, falter.

You still want to continue for him, but when you part your lips you can’t utter a word, it’s all lost in your grief that heightens the longer you watch your mother.

“And,” Jacaerys continues sounding even more brokenhearted by the second. “Lord Cregan Stark,” he pauses and takes a deep breath, but doesn’t seem to find the will to finish. He falls breathless and that wall he usually has up to be perceived as strong, and a protector crumbles, leaving him shaky.

You reach over to grab his hand while tears start to roll out of your eyes as you trail on for him. “…Lord Stark…promised 2000 men,” you manage to share with all the might you can muster.

Your mother doesn’t respond, she instead stands from her seat with her face contorting with grief and approaches the both of you, making you completely lose the faltering hold you had on your emotions.

However, when she’s close, Jacaerys reaches out first and she welcomes him in her arms. You want to do the same, you’ve been aching for it, but your guilt hits you and you stand there frozen with your head down.

“Mother,” you mewl with streams of tears. “I’m…sorry.”

Your mother pulls away from Jacaerys just slightly, leaving her arm around his neck to approach you and caress your cheek with no disdain in her eyes; nor does she look at you like you were the one at fault, her eyes are sad, but she expresses her reassurance before she slides her arm around your neck and pulls you in her gentle embrace and confirms that she doesn’t hate or blame you.

It’s such a relieving comfort that it works to lift some weight off your chest. Weight Cregan couldn’t ease when he talked to you.

Now you can ease in your mother's embrace without feeling like she hates you. Now you can caress her back without the fear of getting rejected.

Soon thereafter, neither Jacaerys nor you attempt to leave your mother's comfort. Nor does it feel like your mother wants either of you to pull away from her embrace that protects her two eldest from the cruel reality that took her third child.

You stay interlinked and weep on each other's shoulders until she pulls away to face you both.

“I have been waiting for your return to light…Lucerys pyre,” she shares. “Is it fine if we light it tonight? The sun is setting and the winds are calm.”

You and Jacaerys don’t find a reason to push the funeral back. You also know there are other matters to attend to that don't give you the luxury of sitting in your grief.

But, oh wouldn’t that be nice?

You don’t want to ignore what happened, no, that’s not what you want. You just want to take a moment to process what happened, and who did it, and tell yourself that you will no longer see your little brother Lucerys.

But no, war forces you to face reality and deal with your grief harshly on the same night you arrived from Winterfell, and at the same spot where your baby sister's funeral pyre was lit.

This time the crowd is smaller though, more intimate. Daemon isn’t even here, which isn’t surprising, but it is also disappointing that he can’t be at his wife’s side as she deals with the death of her son, and lights yet another funeral pyre. And what grows your hatred for him even more is that he can’t seem to be bothered to be a father to his daughter who just lost her betrothed. It’s a good thing Baela is at her side.

It’s also good that you can be with your family this time, dealing with your father's grief alone was devastating. There was no one besides your handmaiden Vanessa to hold your hand and embrace you when you wept. Comforting letters could never measure up to the comfort of your mother's arms or that of your siblings and your grandparents.

Now though, you stand amongst them around the fire that will burn away the only pieces you have of Lucerys, which are his things. There's not even bones to turn to ash, nothing was found of him but his cloak, and a part of his dragon's wing.

Thus Jacaerys steps up first and throws in a soft red blanket along with a piece of his clothes. Besides a few tears rolling down his face, he holds strong now, unlike before when he was in the privacy of just you and your mother, which is assuring. He definitely seems to comfort Joffrey, who throws a wooden horse in the fire, leaving you to step up next.

Yet when you step up and lift a small wooden ship you sob for the brother you’ll never be able to see grow into a man. You’ll never be able to see him marry, or see him command his fleets. You’ll never be able to watch him build a family of his own, nor will you be able to dance another song with him, he’ll be gone forever.

You throw away all those possibilities you’ll never get to see in the fire, and watch the flames eat away at the small wooden ship, and turn to ash everything you couldn’t watch your brother do.

Thick smoke rises, it infiltrates through your nose and stings your throat and eyes while also helping you realize something through the stinging pain, that being your hate for Aemond, your husband, and best friend. You were clouded with confusion before, you couldn’t let go, but you see it clearly now in the thick smoke, you hate him.

And it’s because of your realization that you don’t realize your mother is next to you until you catch her throwing in a piece of Lucery’s clothes with agony contorting her face and clouding her eyes. She lingers by the fire for a moment and you watch her shoulders shake before she steps back. You fall by her side and glance down at her empty hand before you reach over to grab it and once again be the comfort she needs in her moment of pain.

A need to go to Rhaena’s side does grow. You feel called to her side to comfort her, but once the fire starts to lose its power, and all the wooden logs turn black, you step away from your brother and mother's side, but come to a stop right away as you feel guilt again. Your mother might’ve speechlessly assured you, but Rhaena’s anger and grief is different, what if she does blame you for what Aemond did?

If you weren’t away you probably could’ve stopped Aemond, but you weren’t with him. What if she blames you for Aemond taking her betrothed?

You don’t want to be the source of more pain for your cousin, so out of fear and guilt, you don’t approach her. You avoid her and instead, let your grandfather give his condolences before embracing your grandmother.

“I heard the Queen made you her hand,” you interject and pull back to face her with a proud smile. “Congratulations, grandmother, I could think of no one more capable than you.”

Your grandmother caresses your face and offers you a sweet and thankful smile. “Thank you, my Sweet. How are you doing?” She asks with a concerned gaze.

You sigh. “I’m dealing with all my emotions, but I’m relieved that I at least don’t have to go through my grief alone this time,” you share, earning a faint smile.

“I was wondering…” you roll out hesitantly whilst you hook your arm around his to head back inside together. “…does anyone accompany you on your patrols?”

Without needing to hear the rest of what you wanted to ask, she figures out the direction you're taking this conversation.

“No,” your grandmother assures you.

“Oh, well I was wondering,” you finally get to your question. “If I could accompany you? The sea is large, together we could cover more ground. Besides,” you sweet talk her to persuade her. “Astraea is fast, and she’s grown large from her time at Winterfell. She’s good at sea. She likes to dive with me on her. And I am a good archer on Dragonback. We could help you.”

Your grandmother scoffs and flashes you a smile. “Well as much as I would like your help, we would have to ask the Queen first. Bring it up with her and if she accepts I would love to share patrol with you, it would relieve me of some work.”

You smile excitedly and nod eagerly. “Good, I’m glad. I’ll ask her at the next council meeting.”

Your grandmother offers you an encouraging smile and helps you feel some joy in the dark storm that casts over you.

Of course, no one or nothing brings you more joy than your little one, your beloved Aerion. When you see him fast asleep in his cradle your dim world lights up and you muster a happy grin.

As much as you want him to wake so he knows you’ve returned to him, you let him be and just crouch by the cradle to admire him as he sleeps.

You admire his cute round cheeks, his tiny little hands balled up to fists over his head, his thin eyelashes he got from his father, and those pink thin lips he also got from

Aemond. But most importantly you watch his chest carefully to make sure he’s breathing.

You could watch him sleep for hours on end and never tire. Especially because sometimes, just like now, you catch him smiling in his sleep and you just can’t help but swoon.

You always wondered what it is they dream about, fairytales mayhaps? Food? Their parents?

Does he dream about his father now that they’re apart? A father who loves him, and takes pride in his son? A father that you hate and…cheated on…

He killed your little brother, and you lay with Cregan because you wanted to, because you missed him, and you were upset and selfish, but now that you’re looking at your son sleeping away a different pang of guilt punctures your heart.

A guilt you shouldn’t feel, Aerion is young, he won't remember this conflict, but he will feel shame if he ever finds out you cheated on his father.

Yes, his father hurt you first, Aemond betrayed you first. He hurt you in one the worst ways possible! But…now…

Now you’re looking at Aerion and you think of how this could also hurt him. He’s young, a baby turning five months old soon, he won’t remember his life as an infant, but your secret won’t be forgotten, especially if in the future Cregan and you aren’t together.

It would hurt him so much if he ever found out. That’s what makes you cry with guilt. Not regret, you don’t regret your night with Cregan, he made you happy, but you do feel guilt and shame.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Does Aemond’s crime justify what you did?

You can’t help but think of that, you can’t help but think of the hate you harbor, but you also can’t stop thinking about him. About the way his family doesn’t show him the affection you do. He protects them and takes care of them, but they will never return it in the same amount.

He’s probably lonely, and brooding. He’s probably silently just lurking in his brother's council, and breaking his fasts alone.

You always tried breaking fast and eating dinners together. He always smiled when he saw the way you were dressed, especially when you wore purple. He always gave you a kiss before you drifted apart for the day, and when you saw each other he kissed you with need as if you had gone years without seeing each other.

When night came, or when you found yourselves just in a calm moment, he let his guard down and let himself be vulnerable. You loved those moments the most because it felt as if only he and you existed in this world.

Actually, he treated you like you were the only person he has ever loved. You came first all the time, even before your son. Which is selfish, but you never minded because who could treat you the same?

Cregan’s people come first, the North comes first no matter what he says. That’s why he’s not marching over here to fight himself because other priorities come first, but with Aemond, he may have his goals and his pride, but you were never held lesser than something. His anger got in the way. It’s blinding but you understand why.

You understood at least…because the truth is you can’t defend him now…

He deserves his solitude. You hate him for taking Lucerys away. That much is true and you put that over everything.

“Princess,” Vanessa’s sweet voice cuts through the blowing breeze of the sea, making you pick your eyes off your son to look into the distance.

“Vanessa,” you entertain your handmaiden with what you know she’s leading up to.

“I was wondering,” she parts her lips, but before she can finish her thought the sound of your name coming from someone else’s lips interrupts the conversation. You look back and smile faintly when you see your grandfather Corlys.

“Grandfather,” you greet sweetly as you stand up to watch him approach you at shore.

“I’m surprised to see you out here so early,” he mentions, making you scoff softly and look down at Aerion watching your grandfather carefully.

“When I saw Aerion he was sleeping, so I wanted to make up for it and spend as much time as I can before I’m called away,” you tell him and study him, noticing he’s standing up a lot straighter than before, and still using a very nice wooden cane. “I wanted to apologize for not going to visit you when you were abed. I’m more than glad to see you up now and attending to your fleet.” You smile brightly and watch him get close to watch Aerion in your arms.

“It's quite all right,” he assures you and meets your gaze. “You are a dragon rider, and the Queen's daughter, there’s a lot to do. I'm happy to see you safely returned, I know Aerion has missed you.”

You glance at your son, and as if he knew you were admiring him he glances at you and smiles before laying his head on your shoulder.

“Rhaenys and I would take him on strolls when the day gave us time,” your grandfather catches you by surprise. “The poor lad would be cooped all day with your mother gone.”

Considering Aerion the son of Aemond, you didn’t think your grandparents, especially your grandfather would much care for your son, but hearing his report really brings a warmth to your heart.

“I noticed that young Aerion quite enjoys being by the water,” your grandfather adds, making you grin and nod.

“Yes, he loves it when the waves roll over his feet,” you share giddily and caress your son's head as you return your gaze to your grandfather. “And he gets lulled to sleep by the sound of crashing waves.”

“He’ll be a fine sailor in no time.”

You hum happily at your grandfather's comment and then watch him glance out at the never-ending sea before he sighs softly, and then looks back at you with a faint smile that lets you catch a look in his eye that makes you think he’s up to something.

“Why don’t you and Aerion accompany me to Driftmark? It’s still early, and you can come back by dragonback before you’re needed,” he suggests.

You have been meaning to keep your mind off all the racing thoughts that kept you up at night, and well, you are extremely curious. It’s not common for him to invite you to accompany him anywhere. That’s what your grandmother does.

“Vanessa,” you address your handmaiden, and give your grandfather an answer. “Return inside, if anyone asks for me tell them where I am and that I will return soon.”

Your handmaiden offers you a comprehensive nod and goes off to do as you asked, letting you walk with your grandfather toward his boat under the morning sky pampered with fluffy white clouds that make you feel a smidge of joy as certain memories infiltrate your mind.

“On nice days like these my father would take me sailing,” you muse with your grandfather. “I’m pretty sure the septa giving me lessons would despise when he would pull me from my lessons since I was a princess and had no business doing boy stuff, but,” you grin softly. “He was the prince consort, he did as he pleased and my mother never minded. Besides, I encouraged him,” you pause and feel your eyes begin to sting without much warning.

“He taught me a lot of ships…I miss him,” you finish in a whisper.

Your grandfather lets out a deep sigh and you see him nod along with you from the corner of your eye.

“Did he teach you how to read maps?” Your grandfather wonders.

You nod. “Yes, and star charts. I could learn more about those, but I could follow the stars North and to King’s Landing with no map. He…never tried to leave anything out, he was always so excited.”

Your grandfather hums and you glance over at him to address something else on your chest. “I’m glad you decided to side your fleet and Driftmark with my mother.”

His dark eyes meet yours and he quirks a brow. “Why would I side with Aegon?”

Well besides him being a man, there’s also the fact that it’s highly theorized Daemon killed his son. You believe and hate him for it, but no matter how much you want to share that belief, you bite your tongue and shrug as if it was just a concerned-filled thought.

Your grandfather understands your speechless response and holds your gaze as he gives his vague response. “I had many reasons to side with your mother.”

You offer him a simple proud smile and reach his boat in a peaceful silence only filled by the crashing waves and the cawing of seabirds. You had hoped to feel a hint of those exciting and tender feelings you oftentimes felt with your father when you were out at sea, but even if you walk with his father, those feelings you ache to reconnect to aren’t anywhere close, reminding you that you’ll never be with your father ever again, or have a bond with any father-figure.

Albeit your grandfather does let you sail the boat to Driftmark, but as excited you do feel to show off your skills and once again maneuver a boat, you still feel empty within.

“My dragon loves the sea,” you begin to say with the intention of persuading him to use your aid at sea whilst you keep an eye on the distant waters. “And I have learned how to use a bow and arrow on dragonback, perhaps I could be the dragon rider to protect your fleet when battle hits our shores, or we attack theirs,” you finish and peer back at him with a sly grin, unknowingly reminding him of his son when he was your age and eager to prove his worth. You even wore the same sly smile Laenor wore when he was proving himself a fine sailor and dragonrider.

“That…” he starts off quietly but then clears his throat and sounds as mighty as ever. “That would honor me.”

You offer him a happy smile over your shoulder and then let your gaze fall on Aerion strapped on your chest, noticing him watching the waves with his eyes wide and full of wonder.

However, the wonder slowly gets lost as he starts to get lulled to sleep. He tries to fight the sleep to keep watching the moving waves, but he’s outmatched and loses himself to sleep not long before you arrive at Driftmark’s shore.

Unlike Dragonstone, Driftmark is more lively with people; both townspeople and soldiers from the fleets as well as those who work on your grandfather's massive ship. Some seem worried that something could happen at any given moment, while others seem to be happy just mindlessly living.

You begin to wonder about that happiness, you don’t envy their joy, a part of you resents all these people being so happy and living their lives unaffected by the death of Driftmark’s Heir. You wonder why it is they don’t feel what you’re plagued with, you want them to feel your sorrow.

But then you do realize that you’re just letting your pain cloud your judgment.

“Besides having you accompany me,” your grandfather interjects, pulling your attention away from the large ship. “I wanted to share something I have been thinking of as of late.”

You clasp your hands together and out of instinct reach out to fiddle with the ring Aemond gave you, but you’re then surprised when you feel that your ringer finger is bare.

You spare a glance at your finger and drift your gaze to the ground, but you’re then reminded of the fact that you left your ring behind in your borrowed quarters at Castle Black.

You probably won’t ever see it again…

“…I was hoping that when Aerion is older he could be my ward,” your grandfather catches your attention and makes you furrow your eyebrows and look at him with disbelief, and slightly bothered.

“Of course,” he continues, “he won’t have to join me until he’s much older, but he is Laenor’s grandson, I want him to know the sea, and I want to teach him about ships and how to command fleets like I taught your father.”

You glance at your sleeping son and cradle the back of his head as if protecting him from being parted from you.

“He’s the son of a second son, he won’t inherit a crown or a castle from his father, but he could inherit…my title.”

You snap your eyes over to him and come to a slow stop as you’re overcome with surprise. You want to be filled with pride and joy, but there’s an obstacle that stops you. “But,” you mutter your thought out loud. “He is Aemond’s son. A man who opposes us. A man who killed your heir.”

Your grandfather turns away from his ship and faces you, and doesn’t fail to nod in agreement. “Aye, he is the son of Prince Aemond, but Aerion has salt-littered blood. He is the grandson of Laenor Velaryon, my son.”

Aerion is also your son, and you are also your father's firstborn, and only biological child, but he doesn’t seem to ever mention that! What are you, a painted portrait?

You would’ve loved to inherit Driftmark and his title of Lord of the Tides, but no!

You would ask about Rhaena getting that chance before Aerion since she is the daughter of his only daughter, but you don’t see that having a good answer, so you don’t even waste your breath.

“What of Joffrey?” You bring up. “He should be your heir.”

Your grandfather sighs and nods stiffly but quickly counters you. “Perhaps, but I want it to be Aerion. The grandson of my son.”

It’s not hard to realize the actual truth behind his response; Joffrey is the bastard son of your father. With Lucerys gone, he can actually name an actual Velaryon his heir. It doesn’t seem fair, your father loved your brothers whether they were his or not, but who are you to deny Aerion of a fruitful future?

He comes first now, and it doesn’t seem like your grandfather is actually asking your permission or for your actual thoughts, his mind seems mind up, so with a deep breath and a hesitant smile you accept what he brings up. “That…would make me happy. And I’m sure it would’ve made my father happy.”

Your grandfather offers you a smile and surprises you by patting your shoulder as an endearing gesture that brings a…silence where you smile faintly out of pride, but you can’t help but think what next. You’ve never actually spent so much time with your grandfather, and if you do your grandmother has always been with you.

“Why don’t you show your knowledge on the ship,” your grandfather luckily drifts the attention over.

However, just as you approach the plank resting on the dock, he stops you by grabbing your shoulder and interjecting loudly. “Alyn!”

You follow his gaze and blink repeatedly in surprise when you see the same Addam of Hull who fought in your engagement tourney.

When the man’s eyes fall on you beside your grandfather his lips part in surprise, but when he reaches you he closes his mouth and bows his head. “Princess,” he greets you properly right away.

“Ser,” you greet him quite excitedly.

“Good,” your grandfather cuts in and steps back. “You remember each other.”

You drift your gaze to your grandfather and express your confusion with knitted eyebrows that he helps ease with a quick response. “I sent him to check on you for me when I was fighting in the Step Stones.”

Instead of going to you himself?

Whatever.

“Really?” You ask with more surprise. “Well thank you, he was a very excellent jouster who brought Driftmark and me great pride.”

Alyn offers you a stiff smile and bows his head as a thank you.

“Good, I’m glad to hear he can’t show his skill,” your grandfather fills the man’s silence. “Why don’t I let you get reacquainted.”

Without room to argue he walks away and leaves you alone with Ser Alyn—or is it just Alyn since it was your grandfather who sent him?

“Seeing you again makes this world feel small. I never thought our paths would cross again,” you fill the silence to avoid awkward silences.

“In truth neither did I,” he admits. “But it is an honor.”

You offer him a smile and notice how much more muscular he is now compared to before. He’s also a lot more serious too.

“Who—”

“Alyn!”

You both turn your attention to the caller, and you see a tall and thin man with long dreadlocks approaching with a bright and charming grin that immediately works to intrigue you.

Albeit when he notices your unique white hair, your long and elegant red gown finer than any material he’s touched; accompanied with shiny gold jewelry on your hands and neck, he realizes that you are no ordinary woman. The man’s grin slowly disappears at the realization and he slows down towards Alyn. Once he’s finally nearby he straightens up and doesn’t fail to bow when he joins you and Alyn.

“My Princess,” the mystery man greets you with a nervous but charming smile that actually serves to completely get rid of any tension or awkward atmosphere he could’ve brought.

“Princess,” Alyn interjects and looks at the man in blue beside him. “This is my brother Addam. Addam, this is the Princess, granddaughter of Lord Corlys Velaryon.”

You and Addam meet each other's gaze and that snobby princess Addam already imagined you’d be upon laying eyes on you completely falls apart when you offer him a bright smile in return. You perhaps are one of the most majestic beauties he’s ever laid his eyes on, he can’t help but think. Even from afar you were luminous and almost like an illusion, but from up close he could see your beauty was no illusion, he could see a sadness in your eyes, but so much more that intrigued him.

You give him your name and Addam’s eyes proceed to fall on the sleeping infant strapped on your chest. “Who is this?”

You cradle your baby's head and introduce him to Addam and Alyn. “This is my son, Aerion Targaryen.”

“Hm, not one to care about first impressions I see,” Addam throws out boldly, making his brother shoot him a warning glare. You, however, laugh genuinely in return, which is something that surprises even you. You didn’t think you could ever laugh the way you just did again.

“He takes after his father,” you mirror his humor.

“Well, we’ll let this lad get away with it this time.”

You scoff and nod. “I’ll make sure he’s more prepared next time,” you remark lightheartedly.

He hums and glances over at his brother. “Could I ask how you met?”

“At a tourney,” you answer for Alyn. “Last year. Apparently, he was sent by my grandfather.”

“Tourney?” Addam asks as if it’s the first time hearing of it. “Aren’t you supposed to be a knight?”

“Actually I was trying to get to that too,” you share and both wait for a response from the serious man.

“Well I was surprised to see what money could buy,” he remarks. “I was deceitful when I entered. I am no knight.”

You hum and ease his growing worry right away by assuring him. “Well, I would say you were actually quite entertaining and impressive. You fought well and won.”

Addam pats his brother's back and whispers, “I’m proud of you.”

You watch Addam offer his brother a very faint smile and you can’t help but remember the grief you had pushed aside as you remember the brother you lost.

“I was hoping to have some early brunch with my brother,” Addam now directs at you. “But it seems insignificant now that you have graced us with your presence.”

You can't help but smile with amusement and feel slightly flattered. Addam is surely more outgoing than his brother in a way that doesn’t fail to catch your interest and actually helps bring attention to his fierce spirit that you can’t help but feel the need to get to know.

Actually meeting him makes you feel like you found something you had been in search of your whole life.

.

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.

.

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A/N- romantic or platonic? (For those who have read moonlight before already know but please don’t spoil it for the rest heheh :)

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Sauron’s Masterplan in Season 2

What could be Sauron’s intentions into shapeshifting into Elrond in 2x07? For the tent scene with Adar, and the following scene with the Orc and the horse. Context here.

First things first, him kissing Galadriel is a minor detail in all of this. Forget about the kiss, or the romantic subtext (shipping), and let’s concentrate on Sauron's masterplan. 

Celebrimbor 

Sauron, obviously, needs him to make his “rings of power” masterplan a reality. No doubts here.

Concerning Adar

Sauron planned the whole battle of Eregion, and he “planted the seeds” for it into Adar’s mind in 2x01. Because he wants Adar to assemble a huge army for him to take at the end (which is what happens in 2x08), and become Lord of Mordor. He also wants to take his revenge on Adar, while he’s at it.

Sauron’s plans for Galadriel

He also wants Galadriel at Eregion, as Elrond tells us in 2x02, and in the same episode Sauron sends her a vision of Celebrimbor in danger. I don’t think this had anything to do with Nenya, actually; it was Sauron’s doing to "plant the seeds" of her travelling to Eregion.

When Galadriel, Elrond & co are on their way to Eregion, Sauron controls the path they need to take (he destroys a bridge using lightning for them not to go that way). There are two others paths (both who are being watched by Sauron, as Elrond says).

Elrond: What other paths might we take? Camnir: To circumvent it, we shall either have to turn due north, adding two weeks to our journey... Elrond: Or? Camnir: We go south, through the Hills of Tyrn Gorthad. Which will get us to Eregion much faster. 

Elrond chooses to go south, to the Barrow-downs, where they will encounter the Barrow-wights who killed the Lindon soldiers carrying the message that Halbrand is Sauron. Galadriel advises against this, influenced by Nenya, and says that’s the road Sauron wants them to take, so they need to go north. Elrond, however, dismisses her warning.

But is it, really the path Sauron wants them to take? Because he wants Galadriel alive at the end of all of this, why would he want her to fall into a trap? One of the Barrow-wights even manages to take Galadriel, until Elrond saves her. 

Sauron wants Adar’s army at Eregion, and he needs Celebrimbor to forge the rings of power in the meantime. So, Galadriel arriving “faster” at Eregion wasn’t, probably, his idea, at all. Sauron, most likely, wanted her to take the longest road, and arrive after the rings of power were completed, and he had control over Adar’s army. 

Why? Because he wants Nenya, yes, but he also wants to bind himself to her, and harvest her "light" for himself, and keep Morgoth’s bounds at bay. This has been one of his goals ever since Season 1. And Tolkien tells us, in his letters, that Sauron still has good intentions as Annatar, and truly wants to rebuild and heal Middle-earth from Morgoth’s corruption.

Galadriel being taken captive by Adar wasn’t in his plans, either (which explains his reaction to “the body” in 2x06). And he grows impatient and restless once Adar’s armies show up at Eregion, also adding to the fact that Celebrimbor hasn’t finish the rings of power, yet. And he’s starting to “lose it”, as we saw in 2x07. Which isn't like him, at all.

Sauron's powers 

Sauron is a mastermind, a control freak, and a micro-manager villain who plans everything up front and is always ten steps ahead of every other character. He does have an insane amount of powers, but he doesn’t have the "gift of foresight"; he can’t see the future. And, so, he doesn’t know how things will actually turn out when he plants the seeds into other beings’ minds.  

And so, he needs to take matters into his own hands, every now and again. With Celebrimbor, he crafts a gigantic illusion to keep him locked at the forge tower for him to finish the rings of power, while the siege of Eregion begins. With Galadriel, he destroys a bridge to prevent her and her company from going that way.

Meanwhile, Celebrimbor discovers the truth, but Sauron still needs him to finish the Nine. Now, the Elven army arrives, and Adar wants to negotiate with Elrond, by luring him with Galadriel on a cage. We see Sauron looking at this scene from Eregion walls, while Celebrimbor is being taken away back to the forge tower by soldiers. But we, the audience, aren’t shown anything else from the mastermind behind this whole thing.  

“Eye of Sauron” is, among other things, exceptional eyesight. He can see everything (this power is not a “giant eye ball on the top of a tower” like in the Peter Jackson adaptation).

However, Saruman in “Fellowship of the Ring” does give a good description of the "Eye": "the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame."

Sauron [...] a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of phantoms, foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, misshaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves; his dominion was torment.  The Silmarillion

There’s a shadow above the two armies, while the Elven army is charging at a portion of the Orc army (because the Orcs are already attacking the walls, and trying to tear them down to infiltrate the city). Sauron is a master of shadows; who can weaponize and control them (and he does this several times in the legendarium), and he “shadow walks”: he uses shadow as a means of teleportation (and that’s how he was able to travel so fast from Eregion to Khazad-dûm to ask for more mithril).

Could Sauron pull this off? Could he conceal Adar and the Orc army from sight, right in front of Elrond's nose? Absolutely. One of his set of powers is world manipulation; Sauron can manipulate reality and the weather at will, and he can trick several characters at the same time. We already saw him doing this in Season 2. Once you understand this, all is fair game.

Why does Elrond stop charging, then? For any other reason other than Adar being in front of him, really.

Elrond meeting with Adar

Now, why would Sauron want to stop Adar and Elrond from meeting? It’s only because of Galadriel and to set her free? No. Because that's the least of his problems.

First of all, Sauron doesn’t know what Adar and Elrond will discuss in this meeting:

Sauron is aware Adar seeks a truce between Orcs and Elves; what guarantee does he have Adar won’t propose this and Elrond won’t accept?

What guarantee does Sauron have Elrond won’t make an alliance with Adar? Elrond could very well surrender Nenya to test Adar’s theory (Morgoth’s crown + Nenya to destroy Sauron);

Elrond and Adar could reach an agreement in stopping the attack on Eregion.

All of this would mean the ruin of Sauron’s masterplan. Not because Eregion wouldn’t get destroyed, but because, if Elrond was to side with Adar, even if temporarily, they would be able to enter Eregion without bloodshed and stop Celebrimbor from forging the Nine rings of power.

Because this is what Adar proposed to Galadriel in 2x06:

Adar: It is said the Three Elven Rings saved your kind from fading. Is it true?If it is, then perhaps together, this crown and your Rings would be powerful enough to truly destroy Sauron forever. The Deceiver believes he is still beyond my grasp. But I know he hides in Eregion. And I suspect you know for certain… Halbrand is Sauron. Isn’t he? The fate of that city now rests on your ability to put aside your pride. I suggest you find the will to do so. If you can.

Which Galadriel eventually accepts, later on:

Galadriel: As we speak, Elrond hastens from Lindon with an army of Elves. And Nenya, my Ring […] Once he arrives, he will seal off the city, loose Celebrimbor from Sauron’s grasp, and then together, Uruk, you and I will eradicate all trace of Sauron from this world. Never to return. Adar: And what then? Galadriel: Any Rings that have known his touch must be destroyed. Adar: I meant, what then for the Uruk? Will your High King permit us to return home in peace? Or will he proceed with his plans to invade Mordor?

And Sauron is aware of all of this. Would he risk Elrond and Adar meeting and reach an hypothetical agreement? And pretty much obliterate his entire masterplan? Because his plan is at risk if these two characters were to meet.

Then, Sauron also needs the two armies to fight outside of the city walls to gain himself more time, for Celebrimbor to finish the Nine. But he can't have the Dwarves joining in, and influences King Durin (via his ring of power) not to send aid. Sauron doesn’t want the walls to be breached just yet. Not until the Nine are complete.

All of this means that, from Sauron POV, Adar and Elrond can’t possibly meet nor make any sort of negotiations. And he has to do something about it. The logical conclusion is: Sauron shapeshifts into Elrond and goes to meet with Adar himself, to make sure his masterplan doesn't get wrecked.

And that's what happens in the "tent scene" in 2x07: there is no negotiation, the battle still goes on as planned, and he even manages to "plant the seeds" of discord among Orcs and Adar, for his next move in 2x08 (take the Orc army for himself). And he provides Galadriel with a means to escape, because he needs her, too.

Then we have this shot right here, after the tent scene, and while "Elrond" is leaving the Orc camp. Is this really Sauron or an illusion he crafted for Celebrimbor, to make him think he's right there, but he isn't? Because Sauron has the power to do this.

And that explains why the have this off-screen narrator, of showing Elrond leaving the Orc camp:

And so, he goes on to make sure the battle is to proceed, himself. Because Sauron wants the two armies to fight each other, instead of the Orc army to be focused on tearing down Eregion walls.  

Interestingly enough, this is exactly what “Elrond” tells Vorohil before sending him off to Khazad-dûm: Ride to them now. Meantime, I will ensure that Eregion's walls hold for one more night.

Which can, also, explain what Sauron is doing at the beginning of this scene: he has his eyes closed, as if he’s performing some sort of magic, but Celebrimbor is right there, working on the Nine, and so whatever Sauron is doing here is not meant for him.

We saw him performing something like this before, both in 2x06:

And when he meets Galadriel at the top of the hill in 2x08, he smiles. Because everything turned out in his favor, at the end. Adar is dead, the Orc armies are his, and Galadriel is there, to hand him over the rings of power, and to bind herself to him. I would even argue that Sauron knew and wanted Celebrimbor to give the Nine to Galadriel.

“Only blood can bind” (Adar; 2x05) 

And Galadriel is about to join him, until Nenya influences her otherwise, and she jumps off the cliff, to escape the situation. Which wasn’t in Sauron’s plans, either. And he realizes one of the rings of power resisted him. Him, their master and creator (he believed). And so, he needs to do something about it, too, in Season 3. Create a master-ring to control the lesser rings of power:

[thewebspinner]

Stephen Dillane as Stannis Baratheon Game of Thrones 2x01 - The North Remembers (Pt 2)

[kummittelemaanninja]

Sansa Stark in every episode

The North Remembers - 2x01

[wild-flowerhoney]

multi-fandom masterlist

fandoms and ships:

the rings of power: elrond/galadriel, elrond/halbrand

marauders: gen, regulus/lily, regulus/remus

pjo hoo toa: percy/nico

the rings of power

- AO3 pseud: as-summer -

• COMPLETED WORKS

bitter wine - one shot, rated mature, galadriel has always known elrond will make a fine husband some day, it's just hard to accept that his wife won't be her, hard to accept the idea of losing him to another, pre-series, not canon compliant, implied sexual content, hopeful ending.

the missing pieces series - a bunch of short stories taking place in canon and expanding/exploring various scenes.

3. scorched earth - one shot, rated gen, beginning of s2, after that meeting in círdan's workshop galadriel tries once more to get through to elrond, pining, emotional hurt, possibly unrequited love, friendship.

1. glimpsing light - one shot, rated gen, elrondriel week 2024, day four: outsider pov, elendil discovers something new about galadriel and his ancestor's brother in 1x03, fluff, missing scene.

2. out of sight - one shot, rated gen, takes place in 1x08/2x01, sauron takes elrond's form to trick galadriel, pining, possibly unrequited love, manipulation.

4. gaps of sunlight - one shot, rated gen, companion to glints of moonlight, 2x07 kiss scene romantic rewrite from galadriel's pov, the golden light in lindon is very different from the lifeless shine in adar's refuge but elrond's presence makes it just as beautiful, pining, possibly unrequited love, love and friendship mixing into each other.

5. glints of moonlight - one shot, rated gen, companion to gaps of sunlight, 2x07 kiss scene romantic rewrite from elrond's pov, the dim light in adar's refuge cannot compare to the moonlight in lindon but not even the shadows can ever hide galadriel's light from him, mutual pining, requited love, love and friendship and the ways they're one and the same.

6. of the heart - one shot, rated gen, post 2x08 galadriel and elrond meet in the woods to talk, disapproving dad gil-galad, pining, possibly unrequited love, unresolved romantic tension.

pulvis et umbra - one shot, rated teen, a discussion with a mortal man makes galadriel think of her feelings for elrond and what they mean in regards to her and her marriage to celeborn, post 2x07, pining, unresolved romantic tension, love and friendship.

canto v series - elrond and galadriel, giving in to something that shouldn't be. and all that comes after. somewhat inspired by the retelling of Paolo and Francesca's affair.

1. unto one death - one shot, rated explicit, galadriel gives in to her feelings for elrond who was once her ward, infidelity, mutual pining, forest sex.

2. who reason subjugate - one shot, rated explicit, elrond pov after their sort of marriage, thoughts and feelings about being peredhel, infidelity, secret relationship, smut.

the rising of the tide - two chapters, rated gen, 2x07 rewrite, the negotiation with adar ends with elrond in chain besides galadriel, mutual pining, not canon compliant, friendship and love.

at the end of all things series - my works for elrondriel week 2024, all about their doomed relationship and them making the best of their time together.

3. breathing space - one shot, rated gen, day three: nenya, elrond and galadriel in the middle of their fight during the trip to eregion in 2x04, established relationship, fluff and light angst.

1. an interlude - one shot, rated gen, day one: secret relationship, elrond and galadriel meet before her trip to the north in 1x01, pre-canon, established relationship

2. glimpsing light - one shot, rated gen, day four: outsider pov, elendil discovers something new about galadriel and his ancestor's brother in 1x03, fluff, missing scene.

4. by candlelight - one shot, rated gen, day two: prophecy/future, elrond and galadriel have one last night before their relationship must come to an end, post 2x08, break up, bittersweet ending.

• WIPS

wings of a butterfly - two chapters, rated teen, elrond is such a delight that the dark lord himself can't help but give up on his plans for him, eventual romance, pining, crack treated seriously.

as a binary star - three chapters, rated teen, stardust au, galadriel is pushed out of the sky and elrond takes the chance to finally explore the magical world beyond the wall, eventual romance, tenderness, strangers to friends to lovers.

marauders era

- AO3 pseud: rab-stars -

• COMPLETED WORKS

that which is holy - one shot, regulily, rated explicit, lily goes to meet regulus in the middle of the first war just before her marriage, infidelity, running away, mentioned horcrux hunt.

they'll think of me kindly (when they come for my things) - one shot, regulily, rated gen, regulus and lily and the future they'd wanted for themselves the night before lily leaves hogwarts, canon-compliant, secret relationship, break up.

what we do in the shadows - one shot, rated teen, wwdits/documentary death eaters au, regulus, evan, barty, snape and pettigrew living in grimmauld, crack treated seriously.

• WIPS

i'll stop the world (and melt with you) - one chapter, moonwater, rated gen, regulus runs away with sirius but it's remus and the lupin family that he truly feels he belongs with, eventual domestic fluff, idiots in love, light angst.

we ain't angry at you love (you're the greatest thing we've lost - five chapters, rated gen, rated teen, regulus runs away at his initiation and lives on the streets of muggle london, black family centric, heavy angst.

• COMING SOON

the sun will go out - sirius introspection after regulus' death, heavy angst, hurt no comfort.

pjo hoo toa

- AO3 pseud: cabin13 -

• COMPLETED WORKS

unreal unearth series - stand alone works whose themes/titles/ideas were inspired by hozier's unreal unearth album:

1. the first time that you kissed me (i drank dry the river lethe) - three chapters, rated gen, son of neptune au where percy develops feelings for nico in camp jupiter, angst with a happy ending.

2. heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and i) - three chapters, rated gen, post-canon, au where nico left after gaea and ends up at percy's after six years, angst, domestic fluff, happy ending.

3. carving through the dark (hold me like a knife) - three chapters, rated mature, for the 'unreal unearth' series, infidelity/cheating (not on each other), a percy and nico that can't seem to stop chasing after one another, deeply flawed characters all around.

only the sun - two chapters, rated gen, post-canon where nico reveals that he saw them question his loyalty from the jar, emotional hurt/comfort with hopeful ending.

when the sea rises to meet us (nothing left for you and i to do) - two chapters, rated gen, soulmates au where nico shouldn't be percy's soulmate but definitely is, angst, hopeful ending (possible series/more chapters in the future).

what love means series - five one-shots for the 12 days of percico/nicercy christmas. all fluff and very slight angst:

1. to put in the work - gen, aphrodite and percy discuss his blossoming relationship with nico.

2. to have a home - gen, percy and nico talking about their plans for christmas.

3. to be there for someone - gen, their relationship during the years in four phone calls.

4. to make the best of it - gen, a christmas gift mishap.

5. to give yourself to someone - teen, wedding day fluff.

i'd be home with you - one-shot, rated teen, attempt at humor, fluffy proposal fic.

on the mend - seven chapters, rated teen, follows married percico as they go through a rough spot, angst with a happy ending.

all that glitters is gold - two chapters, rated teen, the greatest fairy tale never told AKA shrek au. half-human/half sea monster percy embarks in a quest to rescue a prince from a tower with his satyr companion grover so that the lord of the land will give him his home back free of magical creatures.

growing into us series - all my fics for percy/nico fest week 2024, all about growing and healing and building relationships.

1. the soil and the sea - four chapters, rated gen, nico and percy getting together years after hoo, mutual pining, light angst, unrequited solangelo (from will), moving in together, domestic fluff.

2. gather the pieces - two chapters, raten gen, nico and percy fell in tartarus together au, dealing with the aftermath of akhlys and tartarus as a whole, not actually unrequited crush, healing and getting together.

• WIPS

3. taste divinity on your lips - one-shot, rated mature, nico becomes a god after his death, mourning and grief, worship, getting together, happy ending.

a thousand old graves - one-shot, rated gen, middle earth setting, percy coming to terms with what his boyfriend's immortality means, elf nico/human percy, established relationship, bittersweet ending.

the relinquishment of logic - two chapters, rated explicit, the haunting of hill house au, horror, mystery, major/minor character death, grief, cousin incest, eventual happy ending.

colored in love - three chapters, rated teen, buddy daddies au, assassins/hitmen percico accidentally adopt a child, found family, humor, angst/fluff, happy ending.

devotee - eight chapters, rated explicit, post-canon percy and nico as friends with benefits, pining, slight angst, past emotional cheating (light and not on each other).

inherent vice - four chapters, rated explicit, hunger games au, angst, minor character death, hunger games canon violence, grief, murder, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, district one nico and district twelve percy.

to the ends of the earth (would you follow me?) - three chapters, rated gen, percy and nico meet in the lotus casino, mix of show and book, slow burn, eventual romance, friends to lovers, inspired by @g0thnico's post.

what was holding up the ground (it was you all the way down) - one chapter, raten teen, percy struggling with his sexuality after years of being exposed to heteronormativity.

in the dark of sleep - four chapters, rated explicit, russian doll au, time loops, temporary character death, post-canon percy and nico keep dying and reliving percy's 21st birthday.

• COMING SOON

when the earth is trembling on some new beginning - sequel to "when the sea rises to meet us (nothing left for you and i to do)", shouldn't be soulmates but definitely are percico dealing with the fallout of their new relationship.

[goodwhump-temp]

Sword Art Online: Kirito Whump

===SAO Season 1=== 1x02 Beater - Sliced by boss, weak, low HP 1x03 Red Nosed Reindeer - Ambushed, watches friends die, traumatized, cries 1x06 Illusionary Avenger - Watches someone die 1x07 The Temperature of the Heart - Falls from great height twice, low HP 1x09 The Blue Eyed Demon - Intense boss battle, sliced multiple times, punched, sweating, extremely low HP, collapses, makes Asuna cry 1x10 Crimson Killing Intent - Duel, stabbed, talks about trauma, depressed/angry, paralyzed, stabbed multiple times, slowly impaled by psychopath, life flashes before his eyes, intense pain, extremely low HP, arm sliced off, collapses, emotional 1x12 Yui's Heart - Knocked down, unconscious, weak, angry 1x13 Edge of Hell's Abyss - Scared 1x14 The End of the World - Exhausted, intense confrontation, duel, sliced, sobbing, collapse, impaled, emotional, weak, depressed 1x15 Return - Nightmares, crying, depressed, difficulty adjusting, hit in the head, stumbles, shares PTSD with sister, sobs 1x16 Land of the Fairies - Logout PTSD 1x20 General of the Blazing Flame - Intense 1v1, sliced multiple times 1x22 Grand Quest - Outnumbered, died, emotional 1x23 Bonds - Intense battle 1x24 Gilded Hero - Emotional, paralyzed, straining, kicked around, impaled/tortured, pain absorber decreased, intense pain, emotional 1x25 The World Seed - Ambushed, stabbed irl, bleeding, falls, kicked multiple times

===SAO Season 2 (Gun Gale Online)=== 2x01 The World of Guns - Death gun/SAO PTSD 2x05 Guns and Swords - Grazed, exhausted, confrontation, PTSD 2x06 Showdown in the Wilderness - Intense laughing coffin battle, PTSD, panic attack, grazed multiple times 2x07 Crimson Memories - Guilt, emotional conversations about PTSD, sobs 2x12 Bullet of a Phantom - Death Gun confrentation, stabbed multiple times, heart racing/panic 2x13 Phantom Bullet - Risk of dehydration, faster heart rate (bp: 160), sliced multiple times, hug-grenade bomb, irl fight 2x14 One Little Step - Choked, punched multiple times irl, stabbed with poison syringe, panic, almost dies, bandaged 2x16 King of the Giants - Knocked down from blast, low HP, its a trap! or not? it is! help 2x17 Excalibur - Intense fight, punched to the ground 2x18 Forest House - Exhausted, died in a duel

===Sword Art Online: Alicization=== 3x01 Underworld - Shot in the chest, falls down, tackled 3x02 The Demon Tree - Amnesia, exhausted 3x04 Departure - Sliced, intense pain, kicked to the ground 3x05 Ocean Turtle - Attacked irl, injected with serum from GGO, unconscious, heart stopped, emergency surgery, possible brain damage 3x11 Central Cathedral - Imprisoned 3x15 The Relentless Knight - Literally back-stabbed, collapse, unconscious, dragged, thrown, 1v4, shot multiple times, falls, bleeding 3x16 The Osmanthus Knight - Bleeding, collapse, unconscious, falls down building 3x17 Truce - Hanging, pancaked 3x21 The 32nd Knight - Sliced multiple times, bleeding 3x22 Titan of the Sword - Intense fight, impaled, bleeding profusely, cries 3x23 Administrator - Emotional damage, collapse, emotionally paralyzed 3x24 My Hero - Sliced multiple times, arm cut off, bleeding, intense emotional heartbreak, crying, brain breakdown

===Sword Art Online: War of Underworld=== 4x01 In The Far North - Wheelchair, braindead, depressed, knocked unconscious (flashback), carried, bullied, falls out of wheelchair, panic 4x02 Raids - Panic, crawling/struggling, brain shortcircuted already damaged brain, therefore: deactivating brain/no self-concept (5head stuff) 4x05 The Night Before Battle - Willpower tested/dagger launched at him 4x07 Stigma of the Disqualified - Tries to protect friends 4x10 Stacia, the Goddess of Creation - Asuna reunion, twitches, tries to talk, cries 4x13 The War of Underworld - SAO friends reunion, tries to speak 4x16 Code 871 - Tense standoff 4x17 Prince of Hell - Bullied, kicked out of wheelchair, unconscious 4x18 Memories - Fighting mental blockage, faces trauma, intense emotional pain, mental breakdown, intense sobbing, tears open chest, self damage, becomes ultimate form GIGACHAD 4x19 Awakening - Sliced neck, bleeding, cries 4x20 The Night-Sky Blade - Sliced in half, impaled, intense fight, sobs in loneliness, trapped in the world 4x22 Alice - Awakens, weak, was alive the last 200 years, memories erased, obviously depressed, hospitalized, sobbing, PTSD, emotional damage, comforted by sister 4x23 New World - Headbutted, headache

[mywatchhasnotended]

HotD 2x01 - My Recap

a/n: i used to do the analysis thingy back in 2022 which was fairly popular but i cringe reading those cos just 🫡 (hence on priv now) so anyway, moving on and learning from my mistakes but not breaking the tradition— i present, my recap of the episode! :)

warnings: s2 spoliers, mind the language, might delete later lol

They've changed the intro, perhaps foreshadowed in the last season with Helaena saying, "Dragons of flesh weaving dragons of thread." Blood courses through the characters already dead, much like the S1 intro.

A raven flies through the woods, above the water body and a voiceover begins— not of any character we've known until now. "Duty is sacrifice. It eclipses all things, even blood", a heavy northern accent is noted as we're reminded of Rhaenyra's duty towards the realm— and we finally see Winterfell. It hints at the prophecy, of course.

"Winter is Coming."

Jace (Harry Collett) and Cregan Stark (Tom Taylor)— the latter looking reminiscent of Ned Stark with the former looking eerily like Jon Snow. Thanks for keeping the curls btw, last season's wig was atrocious. (But again, this is just me describing what I see, you don't have to agree.) As Jace is recounting the story of Torrhen Stark and ending it with "The war is coming... We cannot wage it without the support of the North." he finally looks at what lies beyond the wall. Cregan mentions how Jaehaerys and his wife stood at the same spot that Jace is standing at now and, "...watched as their dragons— the greatest power in the world— refused to cross it."

And what is beyond the wall? Jace asks. "Death", says Cregan.

Remember the raven we saw earlier? Yes, that's the "Urgent news from Dragonstone", and the look on Jace's face— he knows something is wrong, very very wrong.

We then cut to Rhaenys riding Meleys, and then unmounting— clearly looking exhausted. They've been patrolling the skies waiting to be attacked at any moment by the greens. They (Aemond) killed Luke. The blacks are threatened and on alert.

"We're flying out," Daemon says, least bit tired or worried. He runs on the chaotic energy, we've seen that before, haven't we? Daemon is not tired of this at all, he's excited, he wants Rhaenyra to do something— anything at all.

Daemon saying, "I cannot face that whorey hoary old bitch alone." Dude you can wtf "..with my dragon and yours together we can kill Vhaegar and her rider", that's right Daemon— make it a son for a son. He's lived with Vhaegar, knows about the dragon perhaps more than Aemond does, but he undermines himself. (Now I'm wondering if it means that there's going to be some kind of treachery at the final showdown?)

Daemon is clearly pissed, "The mother grieves as the queen shirks her duties," he roars. Rhaenys explains how she herself mourned Laena's death, she understands Rhaenyra's pain. Daemon, on the other hand, feels trapped because he could've instead been at Harrenhall but he remains powerless in the matter. I think it annoys him quite a bit.

"She was a fool to go alone," Daemon says, "What if Aemond were to happen upon her?" and I think in that moment perhaps Rhaenys knew Rhaenyra better. Daemon always saw her as a small (vicious, nonetheless, but still a small) thing. Daemon hasn't been there when she fought the most brutal physical and mental battles. The attack in the woods, the birth of her child, even during her miscarriage— he abandons her. Regardless of the fact that he himself was preparing and perhaps grieving in the manner he knew how to.

Daemon taunts her, or perhaps complains to Rhaenys again about the fact that she could've simply killed the greens when she had the chance to while escaping King's Landing, emphasizes that "Luke would be alive."— tell me if that's not father!Daemon at all like? He cared for the kid, enough about the psychopathic allegations. (Maybe calling him babygirl is too much for the creators to handle but don't tell me Daemon isn't human. He's got feelings too, he just knows how to hide them well behind his sharp tongue.)

"Fly with me, it is a command", he declares to Rhaenys but she continues to walk away from him. "Would that you were the King," she taunts back.

The scene transitions to Rhaenyra on the shore, lifeless with grief, lifeless with perhaps hope too. That her son might somehow crawl out of the water alive, or descend from the sky on his dragon. She's holding it in, but barely. She's never been away from him for so long, it is pointless to hope because something terrible has sure to have occured.

Cut to Corlys on the (Dockyard?) of a ship that has miraculously survived the Stepstones. It would take weeks to get these ships back to sea. "The smithey delivered this earlier," and Corlys is handed a weapon— a dagger that was commissioned for the heir to the Driftmark's throne— Lucerys Velaryon.

"They tell me you're the one that dragged my body out of the sea. I'm indebted to you— Alyn." Corlys says. And thus we're introduced to another new and important character.

The scene changes to one overlooking the Red Keep, kingsguard wearing green cloaks and holding the Hightower shield. Much has changed.

Arryk (I think), tells them to focus, someone shouts "Dragon" and the weapon (scorpion is what it's called) is drawn towards an incoming target. They're on high alert too, waiting for consequences. But it is only Aemond riding Vhaegar. She seems to be listening to him now, doesn't she?

Helaena's muttering as usual, and embroidering. Aegon walks in and asks for Jaehaerys, his son. Well, at least he can tell his kids apart. (Are they trying to redeem this man?) Anyway, he asks Helaena and she responds with "Why?", perhaps Aegon has learnt a thing or two because he wants to take his son to the small council. He himself was never the heir, never treated like one, perhaps he realises this.

"I'm afraid," she says as Aegon is leaving her chambers. "Don't be, they'd be fools to attack with Vhaegar protecting the city." But it isn't dragons that seem to scare her, it is rats. Aegon and the maids look around— there are no rats, not in her chamber. But she's a dreamer, she rarely talks of the present. "The Queen is an enduring mystery. Is she not?" Aegon asks dismissively. (The children with wigs— I cannot lol)

The scene then transitions to Alicent digging her nails into the armrest. Something, someone between her legs. Guess who? Crispin fucking hypocritic Cole. That's right, he's the dowager queen's whore. Apparently, he seems to be carrying out these activities in Rhaenyra's chambers. (Are they both thinking of her when they do it? Who knows lol) "We cannot, again" Alicent says to Criston but it looks like it has been happening for a while. Failed promises much, Criston? (Not to quote the duty and sacrifice thing again because Rhaenyra and Alicent were clearly trying to amend things before the men around them decided to make it worse. How does it feel to hate Rhaenyra now that you're being a whore anyway Crispin?)

"Yes, your grace" Cole says, "If you wouldn't mind" — handing her the cloak (remember how they showed young!Rhaenyra taking it off of him? And now Alicent is putting it back on? Yes, please, make Rhaenyra the devil for something that she did once and Alicent does over and over.)

They, Alicent and Cole reach the small council kind of together and that doesn't go unnoticed by Otto. Wonder what are his opinions now? Little Jaehaerys is being little and playful with Tyland Lannister.

Alicent asks if her letters to Rhaenyra have been returned. (How'd you even thunk it, woman?) She's apparently useless now that Aegon has been crowned and she has fulfilled her duty (or whatever she thought it was) towards Viserys. Aegon clearly listens little of her, like Joffrey did Cersei.

Aemond walks in and apparently Alicent doesn't know that Aegon has invited him. Aemond seems just as interested with Harrenhall as Daemon was earlier. Aegon has a valid argument, his dragons are bigger. But is it really? valid? (Does it matter whose balls dragons are bigger?)

Aegon outright dismisses his mother's opinion. Alicent shares a look with Criston. Perhaps they're questioning whether Viserys really wanted this or not. Power doesn't look good on her son.

Larys foot-fetish shows up with a "Good Morrow" and a subtle threat and warning both— nothing goes on here without his notice. (Does he know about Alicole? I think so. Probably doesn't like the idea of another man seeing her feet or whatever.) Ends that with, "I've chosen your new staff personally" sure you did Larys, sure you did. Also probably why Alicent dismisses everyone during her bath? She's clearly paranoid about the man (and the staff he's chosen for her).

Arrax's wing, and a part of whatever remains of Luke's coat is found. Rhaenyra is fast with Syrax, in tune with her (very unlike Vhaegar and Aemond), glides down swiftly. She finally finds confirmation that what she heard was, in fact, true. She breaks down there, and it is a very heart clenching to watch her unravel like this. Syrax roar-cries with her as well in the background.

Back at the Red Keep, Aegon is announced into the throne room as "Aegon the Magnanimous" and that's really funny because he seems to doubt its merit as well. But he nonetheless tries to live up to the standards that his mother and grandfather have set him up for. For once in his life, he feels driven and purposeful and perhaps that is the reason why he's generous and kind to the small folk (or at least acts as such)— he has a reputation to uphold, the one of his namesake's.

Otto is positively annoyed with him, not thinking his actions through. Aegon's clearly never been "prepared to rule" as he had told Alicent to do so all those years ago. And Aegon is aware of the disappointment he's causing. Larys plays a nice game, recognising the mismatch of opinions between the "King" and his "Hand", he gently nudges Aegon into considering appointing a new hand. (Perhaps him, as he's been so kind to suggest the idea.)

Otto and Alicent discuss their frustrations. There's honestly no big takeaway from these scenes other than hearing Rhys Ifans say "Daughter" over and over. Twice actually, that's all. 👀

A more interesting event takes place when Erryk Cargyll discovers Mysaria (alias, 'The White Wyrm') on a Velaryon ship, fleeing from King's Landing. Daemon is frustrated at her definition of loyalty, but he doesn't understand the small folks' lived lives. Erryk tries to explain the conundrum but Syrax roars and Daemon understands that Rhaenyra has returned. "Did you find what you needed?" he asks her, a gentle forehead touch because that's what their language is. Despite the taunts thrown at Rhaenys earlier, Daemon is loyal to Rhaenyra to a fault (and gentle too, now, from whatever tumoultous thing he'd transformed into during the finale, but we'll be seeing that side of him again—no worries there)

Rhaenyra enters and the council around the painted table brings her upto the events of the present, she's not listening though. She has fire in her eyes (no, really, there's the refection) and she says, "I want Aemond Targaryen." And Daemon's really just an uncle trying to please his niece-wife, you want it? you got it.

So that's the story of how blood and cheese begins, comparatively short-lived and different than what GRRM mentions in Fire & Blood.

Jace arrives, seemingly normal before his voice starts to break while informing Rhaenyra that he has secured allies in the Vale and Winterfell. Rhaenyra cries as well, relieved that her firstborn is well, but is hurt from his and her own grief. Once again we see how very differently Rhaenyra and Alicent treat their children. (Coming back to this in the last paragraph.)

So, Daemon is back in his murderous cloak, and he wants a "Son for a Son". The way Aemond never intended to kill Luke; Daemons seems to be following the same path because he instructed them to kill Aemond'. Would've been quite useful too if it worked because Vhaegar would be useless without her rider. But they miss him by minutes.

Aemond was there, plotting behind his brother's back about how to defeat the blacks. He's interested in power more than his brother. He also says that his mother speaks two tongues— he knows her well.

They find Helaena instead. Decide not to kill her because a daughter is worth nothing. Make her point out Jaehaerys and then murder him in front of her while she quietly picks up his twin sister and runs to her mother's chambers. Who btw is in the middle of having sex with Criston despite the— we cannot, again. Helaena is too traumatised to notice though. But yeah, the difference between these two mothers becomes apparent once again.

One who is there for her child when he needs it the most and the other who cannot even bring herself to comfort her daughter when her grandson is slaughtered under the same roof.

[justrainandcoffee]

Against all odds (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) 2x02

Peaky Blinders - Hunger Games Crossover

First Part Masterlist - Second Part Masterlist → 2x01

Summary: Jack's and Aurora's fate after the games is revealed. Alfie meets Aberama Gold and Campbell but after a month and without any notice about Rose, his spirits are very low. || After bombs, not all people that stayed in district 12 are dead.

Warnings: Mentions of death.

Words: 2.6 K. || Thanks to my mutuals to lend me their OCs.

The fucking trackers.

Jack knew as soon as everything went black that he needed to act quickly.

"It's gonna hurt," he said to the girl before stabbing her with his knife in her arm to remove the microchip. Aurora screamed, but he didn't have time to comfort hurt. He removed hisown tracker the same way.

"Motherfucker," he growled, knocking a tree trunk with his own fist.

He still had his backpack, one that found in the Cornucopia and there he had a bottle, another two knives, rope and the ridiculous compass that an anonymous sponsor sent to him.

Eva wasn't there, he hoped (he really hoped) that the hovercraft he saw was one of District 13.

Aurora wasn't able to walk, much less run but he forced her. He had to, because it was better the pain that than being in Snow's hands.

Aurora was crying but she followed Jack because she was terrified. And the man's attitude didn't help at all. He was tall, strong and with a very unfriendly face. It's true that during the first moments in the Arena and since she sprained her ankle he took care of her, but after all those hours she was tired, thirsty and very confused. Both her ankle and arm hurt and she was bleeding.

"Follow the north" said the note along the compass. What the hell was in the North, Jack had no idea but at that point he was just improvising.

Without the electric dome, they were able to cross the arena. It was a miracle that the Capitol didn't put a bullet in their heads yet, but probably it was because everything there was a chaos and because without the tracker they probably believe they were on their way to District 13.

Jack found an abandoned house after two days in middle of nowhere. He was aware that the girl needed a place or she was going to die. They still had the wetsuit and it was terrible uncomfortable. Maybe the house was barely better than the exterior but a roof was roof. And it had a fireplace what allowed him to start a fire and an old wooden chest provided them with clothes. The bed was in worst conditions than the house itself but it could support Aurora's weight. Jack just laid on the floor both of them slept almost 24 hours.

The next four days they didn't move from there. Jack was able to hunt and rain gave them precious water.

It wasn't until the fifth day there that Jack saw something that caught his eye. The grass around the house started to move like there was an invisible propeller moving it. Jack knew what it meant. He forced Aurora to hid under the bed and he grabbed the biggest knife they had. Could he kill a bunch of peacekeepers with guns and highly trained in combat? He didn't know, but he was going to try.

Instead of a military equipment and men, from the inside of the house he heard a very familiar voice. But remembering the jabberjays, he didn't move.

"It's now or never," another voice said "the capitol is coming, too."

Jack opened the door and few metres away from him there was a small hovercraft, now visible, and he could see Eva's face in the door. It was her, of course it was her. Jack told Aurora that it was safe and both ran towards the ship.

The moment that Jack and Aurora were rescued marked the eighth day after the Quarter Quell.

.

Thanks to Samuel, Alfie was able to get out the hospital two days after waking up. His healthy eye was able to tolerate the light again and antibiotics were enough to keep his injury healthy. As for the pain, Alfie wanted nothing to do with morphling, so they gave him just painkillers. They weren't equally effective but it was better for his brain.

His brother-in-law was wheeling him across the district. Even when he didn't see him yet, Campbell assigned him a single compartment next to Samuel's.

"Couples have another one," he said. "Bigger, I guess."

Alfie guessed there was where Eva and Jack went after his rescue the day before. He knew about his and Aurora's return thanks to Lucy who informed him about it. Maybe because he was willing to do the right thing for once, or because he was looking for something in return, Campbell allowed Eva to go with his soldiers in search of her husband.

Neither of them saw them since that moment. But it was easy to guess what they were doing. And for sure they deserved it.

As for Rose, there was no news. And the hopes to find her alive weren't high at all, but either of Alfie's friends said it out loud.

The tenth day in district 13 it was when finally Alfie met Aberama Gold. Rose's saviour, in her own words. He and Samuel were in his compartment when some knocks interrupted them.

"Who the fuck are you?" Alfie asked when his brother-in-law opened the door.

"Who the fuck am I?"

"What the fuck is this?"

"Alfie, this is Aberama Gold. I called him."

"Samuel, when a pikey walks in with hair like that. You have to ask yourself… Have I made a mistake? Was my Rosie high?"

"Alfie…" Samuel rolled his eyes. In a week he barely knew the man in front of him, but he understood very well the kind of personality he had.

"What should I expect from the man who said it was going to help my wife but he left her alone fucking devil knows where? Ya save your kid, and your fucking ass, right? Yes, you did."

"The plan was to put that bastards in the different Arenas and play with them, Solomons. It was never the idea to lose one of us. It was Rose decision to be there. And yet we rescued her feom the frozen forest. My daughter-in-law was in charge of the hovercraft where was Rose was in. They were heading here, but something happened in between and we lost communication. My son's girlfriend is missing too, so don't think I'm not looking for them, Solomons. But I have to be realistic that after 10 days…"

"They found Nelson two days ago, well and alive right?"

"Jack Nelson is a trained man."

"So you think she's dead. My wife. Get out of my fucking place, Gold."

"I don't know if she's dead, Solomons," said Aberama, opening the door "I said, it's a chance. And we need to be realistic."

"Get out."

As if he didn't think about it. The Shelbys were together, they always were. Now the Nelsons, too. But it was okay. Same as him, all four lived a hell and deserved a bit of happiness, especially considering that one of the couples had a little kid. But Alfie couldn't help but feel envy because District 13, same as the Capitol, only gave him misery. And along with the envy, it came the resentment and self hatred, because he couldn't do anything for his wife.

And all of that led him to self isolation.

The following two weeks, a total of month there, they barely saw Alfie and the only ones who really talk to him were Samuel and Nina but even them had problems to communicate with him.

And everything was worse after his friends were "blessed" for Campbell by giving them the rank of soldiers but since he couldn't train same as them because of his back, Campbell sent him to the kitchens because it was said that Alfie was a good cook.

There was the eldest victor of the group, not counting Aveline Young: from killing nine tributes with his own hands to peeling potatos for really useful people.

"You can't do that."

But depressed as he was, alone as he felt, his friends were determined to make his life a bit better.

Maybe because he was still guilty or because he considered Alfie his best friend, but Tommy Shelby was the first one, immediately after knowing it, that stood up in front of Campbell telling him that someone like Alfie, a victor, couldn't be in the kitchens like a normal citizen. Because even when he was incapable of fight, he still was one of them.

"If you are not in conditions of searching for his wife, then do something good for the man."

.

Even if he didn't need his wheelchair the whole time, Alfie used it anyway, especially to bother the soldiers who insisted in that he wasn't allowed to be in certain parts of the district.

"It's not my fault if you didn't build this fucking place for disabled people, mate. But I was informed that the beloved president wants to see me," he said.

A tall thin man, looked at him before using the intercom to ask for permission. Few moments later, Alfie was authorized to enter.

That was how after a month trapped there (he felt trapped), Campbell decided to talk to him.

"Please, Alfie, suit yourself" the president said offering him a comfortable chair. "I'm sorry it took me that long to talk to you but I've been busy. How are you feeling here?"

Alfie's dark blue eyes stared at him, asking him if he was joking about it or not.

"Like I am visiting the fucking paradise? Enjoying my fucking life."

Campbell breathed deeply before answering "I'm sorry, it wasn't a tricky question. I… things are really complicated, Alfie. We searched your wife around the area where the hovercraft was seen in the radar last time but we found nothing."

"Yes, you found," Alfie said still staring at him with cold eyes. "Didn't you find the rests of the hovercraft near district 10 or 11? I heard ya two nights ago while I was heading to my compartment. Let me reminder you your own words 'It was near a hill, half of it was on fire and the other looked like it exploded.'" Alfie continued talking, but feeling how rage was taking possession of his brain. "All of you are nothing but a group of incompetent assholes who solely purpose is to see who the fuck put their fucking ass in Snow's chair. Who's my Rosie when your balls are ready to dominate Panem and the rest of us? You're trying to seduce me with kind words promises of fucking what? I shit in your words, Campbell. Now if you excuse me, I have food to prepare. To feed your ass."

"It's true," Campbell admitted before Alfie could leave the room "We found the hovercraft. And two bodies. One belonged to the pilot and the other was a young woman. But we're sure it wasn't your wife because she's described as a short person and the body was taller than her. If your wife was in that ship, she managed to escape."

Everything disappeared. Houses, people, small shops… the Capitol destroyed everything she knew. There was no district 12 anymore. Her home. Their home.

Dorothy Brown and her little daughter, Allie, survived thanks that their house wasn't in the Seam itself but farther. There were rebels there, Dorothy heard, but to say the truth, there were rebels everywhere not just there but Snow decided that it was a good place to threw his bombs. And like a house of cards, everything was gone.

"We have to go, Allie."

"Can Ms. Boo come with us?" The girl asked showing her an old teddy bear.

The young woman nodded while Allie packed some things in her own little rucksack. Dorothy had no other option but to steal canned food from the victors village, the last place around District 12 that still existed.

Dorothy packed a letter and put it in Allie's bag. If anything happened to them, at least they're going to know their names and who they were.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, mommy."

"Let's go then, Allie."

District 12 wasn't their home anymore, if they wanted a chance to survive they had to go to district 13. It wasn't what the Capitol made them believe for a lot of years, district 13 existed and was more alive than never before. Or that was what Dorothy wanted to believe.

The moment they crossed the border that separated the forest from the district itself, the mother felt safe.

"There's a doggy," exclaimed Allie five days later. The route through the forest was harder than Dorothy imagined and she was incredible tired, even if they stopped to sleep and eat.

Allie, once clean and tidy, now had the hair dirty and had cuts in arms and legs. But she didn't protest.

"A doggy?"

"Yes! There!"

Dorothy's followed with her eyes the direction where her daughter was pointing and indeed she saw a dog. Big and brown was approaching them moving his tail. It seemed friendly and well fed. Dorothy asked herself if the dog had owners or survived hunting squirrel or maybe rabbits. The latest seemed to be more possible because after all those days in the forest she didn't see a single person.

His collar indicated that his name was Cyril.

The dog sniffed Dorothy first and then Allie. The girl hugged him, laughing and Cyril licked her little face.

It started to rain when Dorothy found a cave to spend time there until it was over.

For someone extrovert as Allie was, the lack of interaction with other people was affecting her. Her friends the ones who she used to play weren't there anymore. Neither were the kind neighbours around her house. And sadly, her mother not always wanted to talk. That's why Cyril was more than welcomed by the little girl because even if the dog couldn't talk, he seemed to be ready to listen to her and her adventures in district 12.

The rain stopped after two days. The mockingjays singing were a blessing for Dorothy who was anxious to see the sun again. Her stomach growled. She didn't eat much the last days because she gave part of her portion to her daughter.

"You need to stay here," Dorothy said to Allie.

"Mommy!"

"Listen, sweetheart, we're running out of food and I'm sure there're berries trees here. I need to collect them so we can eat. Maybe I can find a little animal to accompany them. Cyril will take care of you. Just a couple of hours, yes? I can't take you with me because it's dangerous, there's mud everywhere and you can hurt yourself. Tomorrow morning we continue our journey. You need to obey me."

"Okay, mommy."

Dorothy kissed her daughter's forehead and left her the blanket they shared and the remaining food. Cyril was lying next to Allie when she saw her once last time before searching for berries. But most of all, she needed to hunt something.

The thing is the Capitol was hunting, too and didn't take them long until they saw a solitary woman in the forest. So they shot.

Next

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 2X01 thoughts

Cregan Stark starting the season. His voice 🤤

Cregan getting the message about Luke's death 😭

Aegon with the children and looking for Jahearys (how do I spell that?)

Aegon reassuring Helaena when she says she is scared of the rats. She didn't mean the rodents...but RATS

Alicent and Criston!! Were they doing this being Viserys' back? Because I'm sort of here for this. I mean, who else was she going to turn to?

The knife was for Luke 😭

Aegon being an hilarious King. I love Tom Glynn Carney!

Syrax going to Rhaenyra when she finds the dragon wing and clothes of Lucerys 😭

''I want Aemond Targaryen'' Nothing more needed to be said

Jace struggling when telling Rhaenyra about the Vale and the North 😭😭

Joffrey's little dragon toy at the funeral😭 and Jace holding him

Daemon plotting to give Rhaenyra what she asked. His loyalty to her 🖤

Blood and Cheese walking past Aegon and him not noticing. I fear he will feel guilt if he knows it was them?

Helaena offering her necklace

Helaena going to Alicent's room and finding her with Criston but staying there because she is scared and although they are...occupied, she feels safe. The blood&cheese is barbarous, my heart is hurting for her

I have probably more thoughts, so send me asks and let's talk about the episode!!

[where-theres-smoak-2]

HOTD 2X01 Review/Thoughts (SPOILERS!)

Finally got to watch 2x01 of HOTD and I must say, it was an ok episode. I feel like this was more of a catch up episode, establishing where all the characters are after the events of the season 1 finale, but it wasn't my favourite episode, it was a bit slow and underwhelming at times and there were other moments where it was just too rushed, but I am hoping the action will pick up more as the season goes on, as I said I think this episode was just kind of showing us the aftermath of s1 ep 9 and 10. But anyway lets get into my thoughts on the episode, as I always say before every review, these are just my own thoughts and opinions and this is your official spoiler warning.

New Opening Credits

So we got some new opening credits, it was cool, a tapestry that is slowing being soaked in blood and showing what I think were scenes from targaryen history and scenes of the dance itself. Like I said it was very cool to look at. However, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but I think I preferred the original credits with the old valyria model and rivers of blood and I kind of miss that title card. I think the original title card showed the bloodlines more, it was almost like a family tree with each cog representing a character. The new title card is more focused on historical events. I think both are interesting to look at though.

The North

I liked the start of the episode and how it showed us a raven, one the was bearing the news of lucerys' death, flying through the north. It was good to see the north again and I found it really interesting to learn that in the past house stark would send one in every ten of their men to the night's watch to keep their numbers boosted and how it was seen as an honour. It was an interesting comparison to the night's watch in GOT which was mostly made up of criminals who were looking for an alternative to being jailed or executed. It showed how over time as the belief in the white walkers existence faded so too did the fear of them and the belief of the night's watch's necessity.

Another thing I liked was Cregan Stark pointing out that the old king in the north knelt to Aegon the conqueror out of fear. I personally feel like both in the show and in the fandom there's this romanticisation of Aegon the conqueror and people seem to think that the lords and kings of Westeros bent the knee to him because they believed he was a good and just man who would unite the realm if he was king. When lets be honest when Aegon first arrived in Westeros nobody knew what kind of man he was or what kind of king he would be, all they knew was that he and his sister wives had three big ass dragons that would burn them all to ash if they resisted him. I spent years studying history, through school, college and university, and one thing that was always drummed into us is that history is written by the victors, so when looking at historical sources we are taught to assess three things, 1 is the source contemporary ie were they there at the time to witness it themselves, 2 is the source accurate and consistent with other sources and 3 does the source have a bias ie whose side was the source on etc. Considering Aegon the Conqueror was the victor it makes sense that he would have everyone saying that he was a good and just king and that's why people bent the knee and would gloss over the part where he was eradicating entire bloodlines and houses as he went around on his dragon burning anyone who got in his way, he won Westeros with fear, fire and blood. Just to be clear I am not saying that Aegon wasn't a good king but just that we shouldn't forget that he was also a conqueror from another land who invaded on a dragon and did some pretty horrific things in order to get the crown.

So I liked that conversation between Cregan and Jace where Cregan pointed this out and I think he also did it in a very diplomatic way. I also think it makes sense that they both have different views on that historical event, Jace knows the victor's version being an ancestor of Aegon means the sources he had access to were the ones that showed Aegon in a positive light, its possible those sources were contemporary to the time but not necessarily to the place and might not have been first hand witnesses, they also likely would have been written by the supporters of the Aegon so would have a bias. Cregan on the other hand would have access to sources written by the northerners, some who may even have physically been there to witness the event, and so would know that the northern king bent the knee in order to safe his people from being burnt by the hundreds and not the targaryen propaganda that it was because they considered Aegon to be the person to unite the realm. I just thought that conversation was interesting. I do wish we could have spent more time with Cregan and Jace in the north.

The Blacks and Their Grief.

Ok so I'm not going to lie, I was in tears almost every time team black were on screen, they were all really feeling their grief at Lucerys' death and it was so painful to watch. Some moments in particular that really hit me hard were:

When Corlys is given the dagger that he had made for Lucerys, it was such a simple moment but it was played so well, like you can see the grief and pain in Corlys' eyes as he looks at the dagger and its just a gut punch.

When Rhaenyra finds arrax's wing and Lucerys' cloak on the beach and she just sinks to her knees and weeps, this moment I just couldn't deal with it, I was full on weeping right with her. Just the complete despair and heartbreak, emma really did an amazing job. They played it so well. First when she sees the fishermen in the distance you can see that flash of pure rage, then when she approaches the wing she has that moment of realisation that Rhaenys was telling Daemon about earlier, that her son really and truly is dead and you see her grief take over as she just collapses and sobs, then there's the moment when Syrax responds to Rhaenyra's grief and pain by letting out her own roar of grief. Just that whole scene really got to me.

The next moment that had me bawling was the moment Jace returns and goes to meet Rhaenyra. There was that tiny moment between him and Baela were she rubs his shoulder before leaving, but then you have Jace trying his hardest to hold it together while telling Rhaenyra that he got the Vale's support and that Cregan was sending men and he's just slowly breaking down along with rhaenyra and she just comes over and wraps him in such a tight hug. I knew when I saw that still it was going to be tough to watch but it was somehow even more heartbreaking than I imagined it being. I think it was the way Jace slowly broke down as opposed to him just coming in and immediately crying, it was his effort of trying to hold it together for his mother. Also the way he just collapsed into his mother's arms when he couldn't hold it in anymore. Ok I've got to stop because I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it.

Then there was the funeral scene. Just the fact that they were burning his clothes and toy because they didn't even have his body to burn already made it more heartbreaking, but then seeing the grief and pain of all those who loved Lucerys. Seeing Rhaena crying because that was her betrothed and she was so happy when their engagement was announced and she must have imagined them having a happy life together and now that is all gone along with Lucerys. Then there was Jace, I swear Jace really is the main cause of my pain this episode, the way he picked up joffrey to help him throw the toy onto the pyre and the way he held him and cupped his face, I just ahhh, Aemond Targaryen when I find you I swear.

Daemon and His Grief

Ok so I want to talk about Daemon separately here because I haven't been in the HOTD tag yet as I've only just finished watching the episode and I wanted to write this review while it was still all fresh in my mind, but I suspect I already know what I am going to find and it'll be a load of posts talking about how heartless and unfeeling Daemon is about his stepson's death and how all he cares about is the war and he's blaming everyone else la di da di da. But here's the thing, in my opinion its the complete opposite. It not that Daemon is heartless and doesn't care about Lucerys, he cares too much, this is how Daemon processes grief, it was the same when his brother and unborn daughter died. The way Daemon deals with his grief is by going into protective mode, his mind is set on one goal right now and that is to ensure the safety of Rhaenyra and the rest of his family. We saw him do this after Viserys' death his immediate course of action was ensuring there were dragon's patrolling Dragonstone so that his family was safe. His plan here is similar and actually makes sense too, Vhagar is the main threat to his family right now, so going and killing Vhagar and her rider will not only serve to protect his family from that threat but will also allow him to exact revenge on Aemond for Lucerys death. Daemon couldn't protect his brother and he couldn't protect and save his unborn daughter, and he couldn't protect Lucerys, he has, like rhaenyra and the rest of the blacks, had loss after loss after loss, all in the space of a few days. Of course he is reeling from it and is frustrated by it, the thing that Daemon struggles with the most is feeling useless and helpless and being inactive so honestly his actions in this episode make perfect sense for his character.

So let's talk about the whole him blaming everyone else for Lucerys death. Firstly when he tells Rhaenys that if she had acted at the coronation then Aegon's line would have been wiped out and Luke would still be alive. Honestly here he does have a point and lets be honest we were all saying the same thing after that episode aired, I mean there was a collective frustration at that scene because they were right there, one moment, one dracarys and the war would have been avoided. Personally I blame the writing but for arguments sake lets look at it from the character's pov. I did understand where Rhaenys was coming from when she said it wasn't her war to start, she doesn't have foresight so she couldn't have known that Luke's death was coming and I am sure looking back part of her now regrets not acting. But if she had acted she would have been a kinslayer herself and the whole thing is a complicated mess. However I can also understand that in his own grief and pain Daemon is looking for someone to blame, its a natural part of grief to be honest, and so I can see why he was frustrated that Rhaenys didn't take that opportunity to kill the greens.

I think its that same reasoning when he says to Erryk that he had the opportunity to kill Aegon and didn't. Again I can see both sides, because yeah Erryk could have killed Aegon and that might have averted the war or they might have put Aegon's son or Aemond on the throne instead. Erryk also had an excellent point when he said that he swore an oath as a king's guard to protect the royal family so what was he supposed to do when that family turned on each other, again complicated mess of a situation. The point is that its all woulda, shoulda, coulda, and its pointless dwelling on it, however its also a natural response to a situation like this and to grief, so to me it makes sense that Daemon is displaying these very normal, natural and human emotions in his time of grief.

However I think the person who really hit the nail on the head when it comes to Daemon's behaviour is Mysaria. When he turns the blame and anger on her and blames her for not doing anything to stop the coronation and for giving Aegon back to the greens she tells him that he is directing his anger at her because the ones he is really angry at are out of his reach. My god when she said this I was just like, yes exactly. It was so on point with what I was thinking myself. He really blames Aemond and the Greens for Lucerys death, for Rhaenyra's throne being usurped and everything else that has happened, his anger is really with Aemond and the Greens, but at this moment he can't get to Aemond and the Greens, he knows that Aemond, Vhagar and The Greens are a threat to his surviving family too, but he can't get to them and so he can't protect his family and all of this is making him feel useless and helpless and more and more frustrated and, as we all know from season one, a angry and frustrated Daemon is a Daemon that lashes out.

This is also reaffirmed for me when we see Daemon's reaction to Rhaenyra saying that she wants Aemond, this is it, the moment he was waiting for, the moment where he now has permission and orders to go after the person who he is truly angry with and who he truly blames, finally he has something to do and that is why he has that smile/smirk as Rhaenyra is walking away.

Rhaenys

There are a couple of moments here that I want to talk about some good, some bad, or more where I can see where the writers were coming from but it just didn't make sense for me. The first thing is when Rhaenys says that she thinks its a good thing that Rhaenyra isn't acting out of vengeance, this was obviously a dig at Daemon and she was basically saying that he is hot headed for wanting to go hunt down Vhagar and Aemond and he was letting vengeance influence his actions whereas Rhaenyra is showing restraint etc. And I get the message the writers are trying to get across here, revenge bad, revenge leads to more trouble, war bad, think things through carefully blah blah blah. But let's be real here this comment is stupid because the only reason Rhaenyra isn't seeking revenge right now is because she is too lost in her grief and in searching for Lucerys' remains to act on her revengeful feelings, its not a case of Rhaenyra is angry but she is showing restraint anyway situation, I mean the moment she finds arrax's remains and knows for sure that her son is dead she is right in her vengeful 'I want Aemond Targaryen' era.

Another line I didn't think made much sense was the 'if only you were king' line, again I get it is supposed to be a badass moment for Rhaenys, ain't no man going to tell her what to do, the problem is umm Daemon kind of is the king, well the king consort at least, right? Not only that but in the conversation before this line they establish that Rhaenyra is absent/indisposed and as we saw from season one when Viserys was indisposed its usually the hand and the consort who give the commands and run things. So Daemon as consort would be able to give commands in Rhaenyra's absence, so that makes the line fall a little flat, as Daemon gives a command which as Consort during the absence of the ruling monarch is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and Rhaenys response was kind of oh if only you were in a position of power where you could give out commands, except he is in a position of power where he can give out commands. To be clear I'm not saying that Rhaenys wasn't right to refuse to go to King's Landing without Rhaenyra's say so, I just think the line was a little too on the nose. I mean they could have written it differently and still got the same effect, I take no commands but from the queen herself, I'll not act until the queen returns etc. They've done this a few times with Rhaenys where they give her these lines that are kind of like a mouthpiece for their own political views and opinions but it often comes across as too forced in my opinion, kind of shoehorned in. Rhaenys is already a badass female dragon rider they really don't need to force it.

One scene I did really like though was the one where Rhaenys talks about what it was like for her to receive news of Laena's death through a raven and how she spent weeks unable to accept it was true, that it was only once she saw her child's remains that she was able to accept the fact and that was what Rhaenyra was currently going through. I thought it was interesting that you could see the joint grief her and Daemon were sharing at the mention of Laena, I mean you see Daemon's entire demeanour change at the mention of Laena's name. I also thought it was interesting that Rhaenys used such a vulnerable and personal example to help Daemon understand what Rhaenyra is going through. It was a really interesting moment between those two characters and I do wonder if its because Rhaenys can relate to not just what Rhaenyra is feeling at the moment but also what Daemon is, after Laena's death Rhaenys too found people and things to place the blame on, she blamed the maesters of essos believing they weren't qualified enough to save Laena, but she mostly blamed Daemon for not letting Laena come home when really it was just a crappy situation, complications in childbirth and she could have still lost her life even if she was at driftmark. So I think she can understand Daemon's frustration at not being able to do anything and failing to protect Lucerys but also how in his anger he is blaming whoever he can in an attempt to make sense of his loss. But she also isn't going to put up with his crap either and that's what we love about her.

Aegon The Magnanimous.

One thing this episode did make me sure of is despite his best efforts, Aegon is so not cut out to be King. Like it was nice that he wanted to give the sheep back etc, but I didn't get the impression he really knows much about ruling, he didn't seem to think about it much before giving an answer, it was just yes of course you can have your sheep back but then Otto had to remind him that the crown needs those sheep to feed the dragons who are now exerting more energy flying patrols and in the war etc, so Aegon had to take his word back which isn't a great look. Then there was in incident in the small council where he brought his son jaehaerys, who was clearly too young to be at the meeting and just caused distractions. Don't get me wrong the kid was cute and it was kind of funny seeing Tyrell struggling with the kid, but Aegon's suggestion that Tyrell give him a pony ride was not good. As king you don't want to be humiliating members of your small council and this could definitely be seen as an act of humiliation which is why Alicent had to step in to avoid a problem coming up and to diffuse the situation.

We also see that he is rather hot headed as his response to any problems seems to be lets just send Vhagar and our other dragons to burn them all to ash and again Alicent had to interfere and point out that it wasn't the best course of action.

It was also kind of funny to me that you had Larys whispering in Aegon's ear that Otto was controlling him just like he did with Viserys who was seen as a push over and he didn't want to be see the same way as his father, as someone who is pushed around and controlled by others. Yet the whole episode and even in this moment with Larys we see Aegon being controlled and managed by others. I do wonder if he will at any point start pushing back and ignoring everyone else's advice, even if its good advice.

All of that being said one thing I will say is it does seem to me that Aegon at least wants to try and be a good king. But he just doesn't seem to have any idea what he is doing, he thinks he needs to keep the small folk happy, which is true keeping the small folk happy is important but you also have to measure that up against other elements and factors such as feeding your dragons. It's a balance. He also thinks that its important to prepare his heir for when they take the throne, again true, but again he doesn't realise that Jaehaerys is just too young to be at a council meeting and isn't going to learn anything beneficial there just yet and he also removed him from his classes in order to take him to the council meeting when the classes are something that would benefit him right now, small council meetings come later when they are old enough to understand what is actually happening. As cute as it was to see Aegon so happy and delighted with his son, this was a miss-step on his part.

I feel like ultimately Otto and the others spent so much time plotting to put Aegon on the throne and not enough time actually preparing him to be on the throne. Also the fact that Rhaenyra was the named heir is playing a factor in this, because she was the named heir she was the one attending small council meetings and who ruled over dragonstone and so has an understanding and training in how to rule, Aegon wasn't the named heir and so never attended the meeting or given any experience ruling, he was given no formal training at all and I think Otto is starting to realise the repercussions of that.

Alicent and Cole

Honestly I can't say I was that surprised that these two got together, all the way back in episode 1x01 it seemed like Alicent had a bit of a crush on Criston and there was definitely some tension between them in the 1x09 where she says everything you feel for me as your queen scene, however I am in two opinions on this one because on one hand I'm like good for Alicent, she took control of her own sexuality and had a pleasurable experience, or many experiences possibly seeing as we don't know how long this has gone on for, with a partner of her choosing. But then I think about all the times she and Cole slut-shamed Rhaenyra for having sex outside of marriage, of the fact that Alicent is now doing the very thing that she judged Rhaenyra for back in 1x04, something that she then pretty much publicly declared war on rhaenyra at her engagement party over, I remember how Cole reacted so strongly to the suggestion that he and rhaenyra could continue with their intimate relationship in private with anger and accused her of making him her whore and that he had sullied his white cloak and yet here he is conducting an intimate relationship with the queen and I guess continuing to sully his white cloak and I'm like HYPOCRITES! But then I sit and think about it some more and I realise that Alicent and Cole have always been hypocrites and this is old news, honestly that white cloak of criston's is just seeped in blood and hypocrisy at this point, so honestly on point for their characters.

I also think there was an interesting parallel in that in 1x04 we see Rhaenyra helping Criston remove his King's guard uniform and cloak and in this episode we see Alicent helping him put it back on. With Rhaenyra it was him making that choice to shed the uniform and forsake his oath so that he could be intimate with Rhaenyra, almost like he was shedding that identity as a pure, dutiful and honest King's Guard, here he is continuing to forsake his oath and so to me it felt like Alicent was helping him put a costume or disguise back on, like he's getting back into playing the role of a King's guard.

I am curious to see where they take this relationship as it already seems like they feel some conflicting feelings over it, on one side they clearly have an attraction to each other, it feels good when they are intimate and they have that pull towards each other, but they also seem to have that guilt as well, Cole for breaking his oath and Alicent because of her religious views around sex and marriage etc. I feel like that guilt is going to increase even more giving the end of the episode.

Blood and Cheese

Ok so I haven't read the books but I did get spoiled a week or two ago on some of the details around blood and cheese, I am going to put a quick book spoiler warning here because I am going to discuss the book version of Blood and Cheese so if you don't want to know that info skip to the *. What I knew going into the episode was that Aegon's son is killed by assassin's hired by Daemon in an act of revenge for Lucerys death. That was it. After watching the episode I did do a quick google search and read the wiki page covering this event because I was curious to know how it happened in the book. In the book it is so much more horrifying because Helaena has three children not two and has to choose between her two sons as to who dies. She chooses the younger one but blood and cheese instead kill the older, Jaehaerys and so not only does Helaena have to live with this horrific choice she was forced to make but her son Maelor also knows that his mother chose him to die. The whole situation is just awful. However in the show it was really underwhelming.

*Before the episode aired I made a post explaining how I was worried that blood and cheese wouldn't make that much of an impact because the writers didn't spend enough time with Aegon's son and children for us as an audience to gain a personal attachment to them and unfortunately I think that is still true. There were also alot of posts talking about how blood and cheese was going to be HOTD's version of the red wedding which I think made the scene even more underwhelming. With the red wedding we had spent three seasons with the characters involved, we were strongly attached to them and on top of that the scene was brutal and bloody and very, very shocking. This scene didn't even come close to being comparable.

Not only did we not have a personal attachment as an audience to Jaehaerys, we had only gotten a few minutes of him in this episode which were cute but not enough to make a strong attachment, but the scene just seemed very rushed and they removed a lot of the more horrific and shocking elements of the book, it was very tamed down. I kind of got what they were trying to do but they failed massively.

So lets talk about it from the beginning, Daemon's role in it. You know what, after learning about b+c, I was talking to a friend about the show and all the 'accidents' that happened last season like luke's death etc and I joked that if it was team green that had orchestrated blood and cheese then the writers would somehow make it an accident, like they would hire someone to just scare the greens but the guy would trip and accidently cut off Jaehaerys head or something, which didn't happen but they still made it a mistake which I low key find hilarious. I mean the scene is ambiguous I guess. But Daemon is actually after Aemond, which to me does make more sense in terms of getting revenge for Lucerys death as Aemond is the one that actually killed him, so I would think Daemon's retaliation would be against him directly. But then there is that moment where they ask what if they can't find Aemond and Daemon doesn't respond and they cut away so you don't know for sure what he said. They do this alot with Daemon's character, like they cut away from the heir for a day speech so we don't know if he really said it or even how he said. I think Matt may have confirmed that he did say it but it was more in a sorrowful way and to honour his lost nephew and not to celebrate his death, but I am not 100% sure on that so don't quote me. They also cut away when he killed Rhea Royce so we don't know for absolute sure that he killed her, but I mean it seems obvious that he did considering we see him pick up a rock and I think the writers and ryan have said that he did. But now they've done it again here and at first it was kind of interesting and made his character a bit of mystery, but honestly now its starting to feel a bit like lazy writing. But hey that's just may opinion.

As for what I think Daemon's response to the question was, I really don't know. There was one moment where blood, I think it was blood anyway, says you heard the prince no head no money, which made me think ok well then that was what Daemon's response was, what if we can't find Aemond, no head no money, that simple and then Blood and Cheese just decided to kill Jaehaerys because cheese got caught by Helaena and there was a male targaryen there so this will have to do, we've been seen now so we've got to wrap this up quick if we want to also get away and claim our money.

But then we also hear Blood say it has to be a son for a son, which is makes it more ambiguous because again we didn't see this part of the conversation so we don't know if Daemon also said no head no money and then added but if you don't find Aemond any male will do just make it a son for a son. Personally I don't think it really makes sense for Daemon to be happy with anyone else's head, I mean his whole attention up to this point was on killing Vhagar and Aemond, Rhaenyra specifically said she wants Aemond and it was in response to this that Daemon went out and hired blood and cheese in the first place. I personally don't think Daemon would settle for just anyone else's head so long as it was a son. Daemon just does not seem like the kind of person who settles so to me the more likely scenario is this, Daemon goes to blood and tells him to bring him Aemond's head, even goes so far as to describe what Aemond looks like and points out that he shouldn't be hard to spot. He gives him half the money and promises the other half once the deed is done, blood asks what if he can't find Aemond and Daemon's response is basically find him or else you ain't getting no more money and maybe says something like he said to rhaenys like I'm making it a son for a son, or it must be a son for a son, meaning nothing is acceptable but aemond's head and the son part is only in reference to aemond saying an eye for an eye before killing Luke. Blood and cheese enter the keep, cheese stumbles into the children's quarters and is caught by heleana, realising that they have little time now that they've been seen blood figures well Daemon said that thing about a son for a son, completely misinterpreting it and thinking so he'll be ok with it being this son's head instead of Aemond's. I mean I'll be honest blood and cheese did not seem like the brightest bulbs in the box so I could see them thinking Daemon would be happy with this alternative. But as I said the writers made it really ambiguous so who the hell knows what really happened, I mean we as the audience don't need all the details anyway right.

Ok so lets talk about the actual scene itself. As I said above I do kind of understand what they were trying to do here. they still wanted helaena to make a difficult choice and so they added this whole thing about how the twins look exactly alike and so you can't tell which is which, so this creates the situation where Helaena has to choose to tell blood and cheese which one is the boy, so basically they've changed the choice to Helaena has to choose whether to save the boy or the girl, maybe they changed this to make some commentary on how more value is put into boys than girls, I guess. It's still a heartbreaking choice for Helaena to make, she is put into this position because they've threatened to kill them all if she doesn't tell them, so its basically she chooses to tell them which one is the boy and her child dies or all of them die. She tries offering them her necklace and tells them its very valuable which makes sense in that she's aware they've been paid or will be paid and so she is hoping that the value of the necklace will spare her children. However they just take the necklace so she still has to make the choice. I do think they played Helaena's terror and horror at what was happening very subtly, she wasn't screaming or begging really, she seemed very disassociated from the situation but you could still see the terror there in her eyes.

When she runs to Alicent and tells her they killed the boy I did, at first, think it was odd that she said the boy and not like her boy or her son, like she wasn't sobbing saying they killed my boy, she looked shellshocked and said the boy. Then I realised why she said this. When she makes the choice and she points at Jaehaerys, blood says she is lying that she wouldn't give up the heir that easily. Which I think is actually true, I think her actual choice was the girl but she knew that blood and cheese wouldn't believe her, that they would assume she was lying, so she choose to sacrifice the girl but believed that if she pointed to the girl that blood and cheese would think she was lying and kill the other one, the boy. So instead she pointed to the boy thinking blood and cheese would then kill the girl. Hoping that I'm making sense here. But cheese then realises that this is what Helaena is trying to do and they kill the boy. So when Helaena says 'they killed the boy' she actually means it as I chose the girl but they killed the boy. Almost like they killed the wrong one, not that I am saying Helaena wanted her daughter to die obviously she didn't want any of her children to die but I think she was just in shock because she was confronted with this choice save the girl or save the boy, she chose to save the boy but he was killed anyway and so now she's just on the floor rocking the child that lived and trying to process through this trauma and process what just happened, so its more like she's telling herself, they killed the boy and she can't really believe that it really happened, I think the term the boy really is because of that choice she was presented with, the horror of having to choose between her children was so traumatic that its just there in her mind, if I am making sense.

Another possibility is that it seems like Helaena may have seen a vision of this happening, she says to Aegon that she is afraid of the rats and I think this is clearly in relation to blood and cheese, seeing as cheese is a rat catcher and they come in posed as rat catchers. So its possible that she had a vision but it only showed her up to the point of her making the choice. She saw herself in the vision choosing to save her son and sacrifice her daughter so her fear was that her daughter was going to die at the hands of 'the rats'. But then when her vision comes to pass it is actually her son that is killed and so as she is trying to process everything she is thinking about how she had expected and maybe even partly prepared herself for her daughter to die but then they kill the boy and this just completely breaks her mind.

All of this being said, when it comes to the scene as a whole, as I said, it was underwhelming and it felt rushed, the sounds of Jaehaerys being killed as helaena ran from the room clutching her other child was the only moment that particularly had an effect on me when I was watching it. Like that was disturbing to me and I felt that horror starting to creep in but that was then totally thrown away when Helaena runs into Alicent's room and Alicent is literally riding Cole, so Helaena who is already traumatised and is clutching a young child, then panics again and tries to turn away but like where the hell is she supposed to go, her son is literally being murdered as they speak, she's under threat and trying to get her child to safety and then she walks in on that, knows its supposed to be a secret and not something she was supposed to see but can't possible process that right now because of all the other trauma she is currently experiencing and so she just collapses on the ground and rocks her child while Alicent and Cole look on awkwardly. It was a very weird way to end the episode if I am being honest.

I just feel like if I sit and think it over, yes I can see what they were trying to do, I can see how horrifying the choice Helaena had to make between her children was, I can see that a young child being held down in a bed whilst their throat is cut, and possibly their head cut off is truly disturbing, the sounds were horrifying, I can see how Helaena happening upon Alicent and Cole could lead to them both fearing Helaena speaking on it later and revealing their secret and how the guilt will plague them because they were being intimate at the same time that such a terrible act was happening. But it just did not work on screen for me, the concept was there the execution wasn't and in the moment I really didn't feel much. Like I said the only moment when I felt a stirring of horror was when Helaena was fleeing with her child. It was just too rushed and too poorly written I think.

Anyway those are my thoughts on the episode so far. It really was a mixed bag because there were some moments, particularly when dealing with the aftermath of Lucerys death that were really great and really moved me, but then there were others where they fell short. Despite that I am curious to see what will happen next episode and what the repercussions will be, Maybe seeing everyone's reactions to Jaehaerys' death will make it have more of an impact and maybe Daemon's reaction will give as more clarity on whether he did give the go ahead for it to be any male heir or not. We'll have to see.

[eaion]

“All the leaves are brown...”

DUE SOUTH 2x01 - North

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Why did Galadriel allow the Three Elven rings to be forged, in 1x08?

Despite knowing, for a fact, Halbrand is Sauron, and he has been working at Eregion, alongside Celebrimbor, all along, in 1x08? It’s because she knows the Three are truly free from Sauron’s influence, like she tells Elrond in 2x01?

Because her own statement in 2x02, seems to contradict this: Sauron... sees himself not as master of a barren waste, but of all Middle-earth. He seeks to rule it not only through conquest, but by bending the minds and wills of all its peoples to his own. And for that, he needs not armies... but Rings. And he cannot craft them without Celebrimbor.

Galadriel is not naïve, nor is she stupid, quite the opposite. Tolkien describes her brilliant in mind and swift in action. And, in Season 2, we saw her lying to hide the true nature of her connection to Sauron: to Gil-galad, in 2x02, she denies Halbrand was her friend; in 2x06 she tells Adar, Sauron promised her an army.

Galadriel’s entire plot in Númenor, in Season 1, was her trying to get herself an army to fight “Sauron” in the Southlands, and to persuade Halbrand to reclaim “his” throne.

Halbrand: I'm afraid you're short an army. Galadriel: Leave the army to me. 1x02

Halbrand: How? You're stuck on this island. And you're still short an army. Galadriel: That is all about to change. 1x03

Halbrand: You used me. After I all but begged you to let me be. Galadriel: I have just convinced Númenor to send five ships and 500 men to aid your people and place a crown upon your head. Many might assume you used me. Halbrand: Find another head to crown. 1x05

1) Galadriel knows Sauron’s reputation

As are all Elves, and that’s why they feared him so. They know Sauron is a powerful sorcerer, and very much so. He’s known as the “great deceiver”, a trickster, who employs deception and illusions.

2) Galadriel was aware of Sauron’s goals

Galadriel was, also, perfectly aware this was Sauron’s plan and goal, all along. Adar revealed it to her, in 1x06:

After Morgoth's defeat, the one you call Sauron... Devoted himself to healing Middle-earth, bringing its ruined lands together in perfect order. He sought to craft a power not of the flesh... But over flesh. A power of the Unseen World. He bid as many as he could to follow him far north. But try as he might... Something was missing. A shadow of dark knowledge that kept itself hidden, even from him. No matter how much blood he spilt in its pursuit.

3) She knows the rings were Sauron’s idea

And hearing Celebrimbor speaking about a “power over flesh” was what made her suspect Halbrand was lying about his identity and had hidden motives to be at Eregion, in the first place:

His [Halbrand] suggestions were but the key that unlocked the dam. We are on the cusp of crafting a new kind of power. Not of strength, but of spirit. Not of the flesh, but over flesh. This is... This is a power of the Unseen World.

4) Sauron’s request

Persuading Galadriel into allowing the rings to be forged was the entire point of Sauron’s first illusion, when he takes the form of her brother, Finrod. 

He [Sauron] was seeking a power not to destroy Middle-earth, but to heal it. Just as your fellow Elves are seeking to do this very moment. You needn't lie to them. Simply let the work proceed.

This alone should “ring the alarms” in Galadriel’s mind that something is “up” with this whole project. And Sauron is talking in the past tense, which indicates he already found the power was seeking (as he tells Galadriel himself before the reveal: “we found it!”).

However, this is exactly what Galadriel does. She only doesn’t reveal to Elrond and Celebrimbor Halbrand’s true identity, but she allows the rings to be forged, anyway. But instead of two, she makes it three. For balance.

Are the Rings really free of Sauron’s influence?

Yes and no. The Three Elven rings are free from “Sauron’s influence” in the sense he doesn’t enslave its bearers to his will, but they not free from his power, they feed off of it, all the same. We know this from Tolkien lore; after the One Ring gets destroyed, in the Third Age, the Three lose their magical properties, and become mere pieces of jewelry.

What is most likely to have happened is that Sauron infused the mithril with his intentions in 1x08, as he did in 2x03 (for the Seven), and this was him attempting to replicate what he did before (in 1x08), but now he wants control and dominion, too, so his intentions are tainted with greed (which will be what the Seven rings of power will do to the Dwarves’ Ring-bearers):

The rings of power are Sauron's masterplan, after all. He sees himself as their creator and their master, like he says to Celebrimbor in 2x08:

And this strengthens the theory it was Nenya that stopped Galadriel from joining him, and compelled her to fall down the cliff, in 2x08. The ring resisted his command. Which might indicate these rings have a will of their own, like the One Ring, and Nenya chose Galadriel and sees her as its master:

Having a ring of power desobey him (his very own creation) would give Sauron not only the motivation but the idea to forge a “master-ring” to control all others:

"They worked wonders"

And this is why Sauron wants Nenya, and other Two of the Three. He needs them for his masterplan, because these were the only rings that actually worked. They heal Morgoth’s corruption. And he wants to know what he did different with them.

And 2x08 answered to that, too:

I’ve already talked about this on several posts: the Three contain OG Mairon’s essence and the qualities he was created to have by Eru himself (perfection, order, beauty), plus his desire for healing Morgoth’s corruption. And this idea is also present in 2x01:

But this is not Celebrimbor’s doing, at all. This is powerful Ainur magic, that only one of the Ainur (Vala or Maia) could accomplish: and that's Mairon.

Through Adar in 2x08, we got confirmation that the mithril can cure Morgoth's corruption in every sort of way. But this effect is only temporary, and that’s probably why Sauron/Halbrand wanted to forge two (one for himself, and the other for Galadriel, because he recognizes the same yearning for healing in her).

Then why, knowing all of this, did Galadriel allow the rings to be forged, anyway?

Galadriel herself answered to that, in 1x08:

Indeed, the Elves were running out of time (Gil-Galad gave them three weeks to find a solution), soon they would have to leave Middle-earth, otherwise they would fade, and die. And Galadriel refused to return to Valinor, in 1x01, because she wants to destroy Sauron. And Elrond failed his mission in Khazad-dûm in getting more mithril (like she said to his face in 2x01):

She knows Sauron is an ancient and powerful sorcerer, and if anyone can pull something like this off is probably him. And, subconsciously, Galadriel is aware she needs his power, because he tells her so, himself, 1x08:

Sauron: You have no choice. Without me, your people will fade. And the shadow will spread and darken to cover all the world. You need me. Galadriel: I should have left you on the sea.

And to “the sea” he returns her in the next vision, to the moment when he saved her in the Sundering Seas, to make this point across.

And it worked. Because Galadriel is willing to take that gamble and allow the Three to be forged, because there’s no other way for the Elves to stay in Middle-earth. And, in order to do that, she has to keep Halbrand’s true identity concealed from Elrond and Celebrimbor, otherwise they would never agree.

And Gil-galad himself agrees with this idea (“it’s the only way”), in 2x01, as he compels Elrond to surrender the rings:

Elrond: He worked with Celebrimbor for weeks. We know not the depth of his influence Gil-galad: Soon, the last Gold-leaf will fall, and it will be my task to inform all Lindon our time here is ended, and the Elves must abandon these shores forever. Now, you inform me our most cunning enemy is rising again. If we leave now, the peoples of Middle-earth will be left to suffer under the tyranny of a new Dark Lord. Those Rings are more than our last hope, they may be the last hope for all Middle-earth. It is a risk we must chance to take. Give them to me.

Because of you, we've no choice but to test the virtue of the Rings.

And Galadriel sort of says this to Elrond, in the same episode: I did what I felt was right. And time alone will reveal whether that was folly or wisdom.

Now, the irony of all of this is that Galadriel and the Elves, by keeping the rings for themselves, instead of destroying them and returning to Valinor, are enabling Sauron to continue his masterplan. Because had the Elves left as they were meant to, Sauron wouldn’t had the means to see his plan through (because Celebrimbor would be out of his reach), nor had they condemned Middle-earth to the tyranny of the a new Dark Lord. Which means: Elrond was right.

[thewebspinner]

Stephen Dillane as Stannis Baratheon Game of Thrones 2x01 The North Remembers! pt 1

[nobigsecrets]

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