#2628

[thewertsearch]

CG: WE BEAT THE GAME YOU ARE PLAYING AND CREATED YOUR UNIVERSE. CG: WE WERE GOING TO ENTER YOUR UNIVERSE AND RULE OVER IT. CG: LIKE TYRANTS. [...] EB: but to be quite honest, it doesn't sound like your intentions were all that great.

Old habits die hard. Karkat was raised in a space empire - so when he's handed a universe, thirteen years of propaganda are telling him that it's something to be conquered.

He's probably picturing a Second Alternian Empire, here - just on a larger scale, and with his team at the top. Well, at least he's not paying the hemospectrum any heed.

CG: YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO TROLL YOU? [...] EB: i just think it's kind of funny when you do it.

Karkat is getting destroyed here.

No wonder he kickstarted Project T - he needed a years-long trolling campaign, just to get back at John for this one conversation!

CG: I MEAN THAT IT SEEMS LIKE WE ARE CONNECTED IN SOME WAY, DON'T YOU THINK JOHN. [...] CG: LIKE OUR HATE FOR EACH OTHER IS SO STRONG IT MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN THE STARS. CG: YOU KNOW, THE ONES I FUCKING MADE FOR YOU.

If this really is kismesis flirtation, it's a lot more tame than I expected. I was imagining a much more toxic Karkat, one who's genuinely trying to hurt John's feelings, trying to generate the strong negative emotions that characterize the quadrant.

What we're getting, though, is a Karkat who is trying to communicate to John that he's important to him. What we're getting is - basically - a love poem, or something adjacent to one.

I think I understand kismesissitude a little better.

EB: hey, i don't have a problem with your weird sort of alien hate-love thing! EB: it is just that, uh… CG: WHAT EB: i am not a homosexual.

Hilariously, it sounds like John would, in fact, be open to a kismesissitude - but it has to be a straight kismesissitude.

[dolphelecat]

Wifehead x

[harveyphotography]

Quartieri Spagnoli - Napoli (Agosto 2023)

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: June 14, 2004

Lyrics:

Oh-oh, oh-oh (so much for my happy ending)

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Oh-oh, oh-oh (so much for my happy ending)

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Let's talk this over

It's not like we're dead

Was it something I did?

Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging

In a city so dead

Held up so high

On such a breakable thread (breakable thread)

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything

That I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it (we lost it)

All of our memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time, you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

So much for my happy ending

(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Oh-oh, oh-oh

You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say (I know what they say)

They tell you I'm difficult

But so are they (but so are they)

But they don't know me

Do they even know you? (Even know you)

All the things you hide from me

All the shit that you do (all the shit that you do)

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything

That I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it (we lost it)

All of our memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time, you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall

And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything

That I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time, you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything

That I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time, you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

Songwriter:

So much for my happy ending

(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

(Oh-oh, oh-oh) So much for my happy ending

(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Avril Lavigne / Butch Walker

SongFacts:

👉📖

Homepage:

Avril Lavigne

[albertxylin]

Dead Desire

I've always been good at building things up in my mind, Always been good at laying expectations brick by brick, Always been good at substituting fantasy for reality.

I realise a desire has been a mirage, And I am not at the stage where I pray for oasis. There is enough water to keep me alive And I am not in a desert.

The grass does look greener at a distance, But up close it becomes clear that it's artificial, Plastic facsimile that will never grow beyond superficial. The desire dies alongside the fantasy, And I find myself content with the imperfect grass around me.

[tmt-sketch-a-day]

Sketch a Day 2628- A figurine - 3/21/23

like those kissing figurines everyone grandma always seems to have

[mostbelovedaewwrestlertournament]

Most Beloved AEW Wrestler Tournament 2

[saradiation]

HAPPY CRAB KARKAT DAY!! 🦀

[tealviscaria]

Omg...

So, I wanted to know if Rhett or Link ever said anything in Czech, right? A completely normal thing to look up.

And of course, OF COURSE, of all the things in the world that they could possibly say, I get to hear Link say "horny" in Czech lmao

"Vaše tělo je svalnaté jako nadržený býk."

[thewertsearch]

EB: it is like, when a boy likes another boy. EB: or i guess hates, in this case. CG: HUMANS HAVE A WORD FOR THAT? EB: yes. CG: HOW IS THAT EVEN A THING?

Diversity win! The space empire that created your universe has no concept of binary sexual orientation!

Any set of trolls can be combined in the Mother Grub - and on Alternia, there's no such thing as a parent, let alone a nuclear family. It's frankly unclear what purpose sexual dimorphism even serves for a troll - but that's for the speculative biologists to ponder.

EB: anyway, i kind of got the impression that you and terezi were a thing. [...] CG: WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO, WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT. [...] CG: OK FIRST OF ALL, IF THERE WERE A "THING" WITH HER, AND THAT'S A HUGE IF CG: IT WOULD BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT QUADRANT THAN WHAT WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT.

There's something so funny about this exchange. Imagine you were the first person to make contact with a hitherto undiscovered species, who shouldn't even know you exist.

You open a communication channel to make first contact - and not only are they inexplicably aware of your love life, you're actually compelled to defend yourself from this random alien's personal accusations.

CG: LET'S JUST AGREE TO NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN. CG: THE STUFF I WAS BABBLING ABOUT EARLIER. [...] CG: BUT IF I TALK TO YOU AGAIN CG: IN YOUR FUTURE, LIMITED THOUGH IT IS CG: YOU'LL REMEMBER MY EMBARRASSING SHIT CG: SO I GUESS CG: I'LL HAVE TO TROLL YOU BACKWARDS?

This is why you were trolling him backwards? Because you were embarrassed about hitting on him?

That's incredible. Apparently Karkat was so flustered, he didn't realize he could just have jumped back once, to the start of John's session, and continued linearly from there. This guy is such a mess, it's great.

CG: I THINK WE NEED TO GET BACK ON POINT HERE. CG: WHICH IS ADDRESSING THE MATTER OF WHAT INCOMPREHENSIBLY PUTRID GARBAGE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. EB: you mean platonic hate?

It's too bad John's not into it, because he'd actually be a pretty good kismesis. He's running rings around Karkat here, and I'm pretty sure this sarcasm is deliberate.

CG: I WILL BID YOU ONE FIRST AND FINAL FUCK YOU. CG: FUCK YOU, JOHN EGBERT. CG: FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE JOKE BOOK YOU RODE IN ON. CG: FUCK. CG: FUCKING. CG: YOU. EB: :D EB: see you soon! CG: WAIT

And here's the stinger. We're probably not going to learn what the Scratch is for a while, but we are learning about one of its most important consequences.

Finally, after five Acts, the humans and trolls are teaming up.

[gmmfashion]

Rhett's shirt from the most recent do these food taste different in other countries. This shirt is pretty expensive.

Thanks @becausethathappens

[dolphelecat]

Duster prank x

[simcardiac-arrested]

me after 17 benadryl

[hydrostalgia]

LIES!!!!!!!!!

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, John Egbert

Act 5, page 2628

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

CG: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.

CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.

CG: IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.

CG: I HAVE WATCHED YOUR ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE UNFOLD.

CG: I HAVE OBSERVED YOU WHILE YOU WOULD QUAKE AND TREMBLE IN PERSONAL PRAYERS OF SHAME.

CG: WHILE YOU PLEADED FORGIVENESS FOR BEING SUCH A WRETCHED DISGUSTING FAILURE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL.

CG: PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK.

CG: BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET.

CG: BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED.

CG: THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN.

CG: ONLY MY HATE.

CG: IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.

CG: IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG.

CG: SHRIEKED BY THE TEN THOUSAND ROWDY SHOUT SPHINCTERS PEPPERING THE GRUESOME UNDERBELLY OF THE MOST TRUCULENT GOD THE FURTHEST RING CAN MUSTER.

CG: IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU.

CG: MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.

CG: IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.

CG: YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT.

CG: YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.

EB: hi karkat!

CG: WHAT

CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME.

EB: oh man.

EB: this is it, isn't it?

EB: i've been looking forward to this!

CG: WHAT IS IT.

CG: ME HATING YOU IS WHAT'S IT.

CG: IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN, YEAH, BINGO.

EB: no, i mean this is the first conversation between us, from your perspective.

EB: right?

CG: YEAH.

CG: ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE'VE SPOKEN BEFORE.

EB: yeah, lots of times!

EB: actually...

EB: i should introduce myself properly.

EB: hi karkat, i am john!

CG: JOHN, WHY WOULD I GIVE A PUNGENT WHIPPING LUMPSQUIRT WHAT YOUR NAME IS.

EB: because we are buddies!

CG: I ADMIT I AM NEW TO HUMAN SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS

CG: BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OUR RELATIONSHIP CAN OR WILL EVER BE DESCRIBED AS "EARTH HUMAN BUDDIES".

EB: yup, we totally are.

EB: we just became earth human buddies in a kind of weird way.

EB: you decide to keep talking to me backwards through my adventure.

EB: and then when you are done with that you come back and talk to me more recently on the timeline for a while.

EB: you talk to my friends a whole bunch too.

EB: you and your alternian troll buddies help me and my earth human buddies hatch a plan!

EB: which we are busy putting into motion right now, as you can see.

CG: THESE ARE LIES.

CG: I KNOW WHEN I AM BEING TROLLED, WHO DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO HERE.

CG: I AM YOUR GOD, REMEMBER.

EB: yeah yeah, i know.

CG: WHY WOULD I TROLL YOU BACKWARDS? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

CG: AND WHY WOULD I HELP YOU AND YOUR IDIOT FRIENDS?

CG: I WOULD JUST BE HELPING YOU BLUNDER DOWN THE PATH THAT ENDS WITH YOU OPENING THE RIFT LIKE A BUNCH OF MORONS.

EB: you mean the scratch?

CG: WHATEVER.

EB: yes! that is the plan.

EB: you yourself said it was the only hope now.

CG: RIDICULOUS.

CG: I DIDN'T WRIGGLE OUT OF A PUDDLE OF SLIME YESTERDAY.

CG: THAT WAS SEVERAL WEEKS AGO, OK?

EB: heheheh.

CG: I DO NOT THINK YOU APPRECIATE THE GRAVITY OF MY ANTIPATHY, JOHN HUMAN.

EB: egbert.

CG: OK, HUMAN EGBERT.

CG: I FUCKING LOATHE YOU, AND I HAVE TUNED INTO YOUR CHANNEL MOMENTS BEFORE THE ERADICATION OF YOUR TIMELINE AND THAT SMUG LOOK ON YOUR FACE, WITH JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO BASICALLY COMPLETELY FUCKING DESTROY YOU WITH HOSTILE RHETORIC.

CG: THERE IS NO CHANCE I WILL EVER HELP YOU.

CG: YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I HATE YOU OR WHY I HATE YOU.

CG: I WASN'T JOKING WHEN I SAID I WAS YOUR GOD, LIKE THAT WASN'T JUST A LOT OF BRAVADO AND USELESS PISSING AROUND.

CG: I AM LITERALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR EXISTENCE.

CG: WE BEAT THE GAME YOU ARE PLAYING AND CREATED YOUR UNIVERSE.

CG: WE WERE GOING TO ENTER YOUR UNIVERSE AND RULE OVER IT.

CG: LIKE TYRANTS.

CG: IT WAS TO BE OUR PLAYTHING, JOHN.

CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SWEET IT WAS GOING TO BE.

CG: BUT THEN WE COULDN'T CLAIM OUR PRIZE BECAUSE OF THAT MONSTROSITY YOU SPRUNG ON US.

EB: man...

EB: i knoooow.

EB: none of this is news to me, karkat!

EB: but to be quite honest, it doesn't sound like your intentions were all that great.

EB: wanting to be tyrants and all.

EB: maybe you got what you deserved, you stutid fuckass!

CG: STUTID?

CG: WOW, YOUR SPECIES REALLY IS BRAINDEAD.

EB: eh, it's an in-joke, never mind.

EB: anyway, hey!

EB: i thought this was supposed to be the conversation where you do all that AMAAAAAZING TROLLING!

EB: come on bro, flame me!

EB: i have been really excited about this.

CG: YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO TROLL YOU?

CG: I MEAN

CG: DON'T WORRY, I CAN AND I WILL, AND IT WILL BE A GODDAMN BLOODBATH WHEN I GET STARTED.

CG: IT'S JUST KIND OF WEIRD YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT IT, IS THAT NORMAL FOR YOUR RACE?

EB: um...

EB: i don't know, probably not.

EB: i just think it's kind of funny when you do it.

CG: THAT'S REALLY CONDESCENDING AND IT'S HARD TO CONVEY HOW MUCH MORE I JUST GOT PISSED OFF THAN I ALREADY WAS.

CG: BUT MAYBE IT MAKES SENSE ACTUALLY

CG: THAT YOU WELCOME MY ACRIMONY SO READILY

CG: ON ACCOUNT OF PROBABLY SOME WEIRD GLAND HUMANS HAVE, LIKE A PUNISHMENT THROBBER OR SOME SILLY SOUNDING THING LIKE THAT.

CG: IT MIGHT MEAN THAT I'M RIGHT ABOUT YOU.

EB: right about what?

CG: I MEAN THAT IT SEEMS LIKE WE ARE CONNECTED IN SOME WAY, DON'T YOU THINK JOHN.

CG: SORT OF COSMICALLY.

CG: LIKE OUR HATE FOR EACH OTHER IS SO STRONG IT MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN THE STARS.

CG: YOU KNOW, THE ONES I FUCKING MADE FOR YOU.

EB: ha ha, i don't hate you!

CG: HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY CLAIM TO HAVE TALKED TO ME A LOT ALREADY AND NOT HATE ME, SEE IT DOESN'T ADD UP.

EB: wait...

EB: are you saying that we are kisme-whatevers?

CG: WHAT, NO.

CG: WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, THAT WOULD BE SUCH A BRAZEN SOLICITATION.

CG: IT'S INSULTING.

CG: I MEAN

CG: OK I'M NOT SAYING I'M RULING OUT THE IDEA OR ANYTHING.

CG: LIKE IF LATER OVER TIME YOU STARTED REALLY HATING ME MORE

CG: LIKE REALLY GOT TO KNOW ME AND FOUND OUT ABOUT HOW MUCH THERE WAS TO HATE

EB: er...

CG: BUT... IN THE PAST I GUESS? I'M JUST SAYING WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

CG: OR HAS ALREADY HAPPENED.

EB: uh.

CG: FUCK WHAT AM I BABBLING ABOUT.

CG: THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WE JUST MET FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

CG: AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE EVER GOING TO MEET IN PERSON, SO IT'S ALL A MOOT POINT.

CG: SO FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

CG: GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

EB: well...

EB: i just didn't really have any idea that you had any sort of feelings like that, so i am kind of caught off guard.

CG: WHAT FEELINGS, THERE ARE NO FEELINGS, END OF DISCUSSION.

EB: hey, i don't have a problem with your weird sort of alien hate-love thing!

EB: it is just that, uh...

CG: WHAT

EB: i am not a homosexual.

CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

EB: it is like, when a boy likes another boy.

EB: or i guess hates, in this case.

CG: HUMANS HAVE A WORD FOR THAT?

EB: yes.

CG: HOW IS THAT EVEN A THING?

EB: shrug. it just is.

CG: HUMAN ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD.

EB: i am just as confused by your troll shenanigans.

EB: so many shenanigans!

EB: anyway, i kind of got the impression that you and terezi were a thing.

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN A THING.

EB: like, i dunno.

EB: going on weird fight dates and beating the crap out of each other, and being in hate-love or love-hate.

EB: isn't that how it works?

CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN IGNORAMUS I COULD SHIT MILES OF RAGE SNAKE TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH.

EB: ew.

CG: WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO, WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT.

EB: um, i talked to you...

EB: and her...

EB: and some others. i don't know! like i said it's just a sense i got.

EB: sorry!

CG: OK FIRST OF ALL, IF THERE WERE A "THING" WITH HER, AND THAT'S A HUGE IF

CG: IT WOULD BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT QUADRANT THAN WHAT WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT.

EB: oh god, the quadrants...

CG: SECOND, WHETHER SHE AND I HAVE A THING OR DON'T HAVE A THING, OR TOOK A ROMANTIC HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE SUSPENDED IN A GODDAMN FILIAL PAIL TOGETHER

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY NONE OF YOUR FUCKING EARTH BUSINESS, EGBERT HUMAN JOHN.

CG: GOT IT????????

EB: ok, sheesh!

EB: karkat, i am going to be honest...

EB: this first conversation is not going how i thought it would at all!

EB: it is really kind of...

EB: awkward.

CG: YEAH

CG: WOW, IT IS

EB: yeah...

CG: HUH.

EB: well...

EB: um...

CG: OK, LOOK.

CG: LET'S JUST AGREE TO NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.

CG: THE STUFF I WAS BABBLING ABOUT EARLIER.

EB: yeah, well we never really talked about it in the past, so i guess we do agree to that.

CG: BUT IF I TALK TO YOU AGAIN

CG: IN YOUR FUTURE, LIMITED THOUGH IT IS

CG: YOU'LL REMEMBER MY EMBARRASSING SHIT

CG: SO I GUESS

CG: I'LL HAVE TO TROLL YOU BACKWARDS?

EB: told you bro!!!!!!!

EB: hahahaha.

CG: YOU REALLY ARE A SMUG NOOK WHIFFER, JOHN EGBERT.

CG: I THINK WE NEED TO GET BACK ON POINT HERE.

CG: WHICH IS ADDRESSING THE MATTER OF WHAT INCOMPREHENSIBLY PUTRID GARBAGE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.

EB: you mean platonic hate?

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT, REMEMBER.

EB: oh yeah.

CG: SO YOU WANTED TO GET TROLLED, WELL YOU GOT IT.

CG: PREPARE TO GET YOUR PUNY HUMAN BULGE FLAMED INTO NUCLEAR HATEBLIVION.

CG: WELCOME TO THE TROLLOCAUST. THE PAINSTAKING GENOCIDE OF YOUR FRAGILE SELF ESTEEM WILL BE MY SWAN SONG.

EB: oh boy, this sounds great.

EB: but...

EB: we're out of time!

EB: i have to go put this plan into motion.

CG: OH I SEE, TAKING THE COWARD'S WAY OUT.

CG: SCAMPERING OFF TO GET ANNIHILATED BY A DEADLY RIFT, HOW CONVENIENT.

CG: WELL FINE, SAYONARA YOU WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPET.

CG: I WILL BID YOU ONE FIRST AND FINAL FUCK YOU.

CG: FUCK YOU, JOHN EGBERT.

CG: FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE JOKE BOOK YOU RODE IN ON.

CG: FUCK.

CG: FUCKING.

CG: YOU.

EB: :D

EB: see you soon!

CG: WAIT

CG: WHAT

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]