#24k world tour
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brunomarsarchive · 3 months ago
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allwaswell16 · 5 months ago
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A fic rec of canon One Direction fics that take place post-hiatus as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis/Harry -
🧡  Given a Chance by Fabby / @fabby1d
(E, 173k, small town) Five years after One Direction took their last tour, the last thing Louis Tomlinson ever expected to happen while on a tea run at the local Piggly Wiggly was to run into his ex-boyfriend and ex-bandmate Harry Styles.
🧡 The Greatest Thing by @infinitelymint
(E, 163k, fake relationship) Harry and Louis haven’t spoken since the band broke up when a dangerous combination of Niall Horan, tequila, and an ordained Elvis impersonator means that the two of them have to embark on their biggest publicity stunt to date - together.
🧡 You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by auburnstargazer / @harryrainbows
(E, 95k, fake relationship) Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.
🧡 Stranger Than Larry Fiction by @larrysmomfics
(M, 90k, friends to lovers) A canon-divergent AU where Louis and Harry read Larry Stylinson fanfiction.
🧡 10 Years Later by Harriet1dfan
(E, 79k, friends to lovers) In the 10 years since One Directions' shock split in February 2015, Louis has been living a quiet life in Doncaster, trying to forget he was ever 1/5 of the world's biggest boyband. Until of course there is a televised reunion and tour.
🧡 Need So Much of You by @lululawrence
(NR, 46k, fwb) the would-have-been canon compliant, fake relationship, friends with benefits, friends to lovers fic where Louis wonders if this thing going on with Harry is going to break him or change everything for the better.
🧡  Roses & Violets by sincewewereeighteen
(M, 43k, Dunkirk set) Louis would’ve known beforehand that Harry was hurting and wouldn’t have let it get to this point in the first place. But then again, a little over a year ago Harry hadn’t broken up with him, so, there’s that.
🧡 What If I’m Someone You Won’t Talk About...? by Ioudloudlove
(E, 40k, exes) The one where Harry and Louis come face to face with each other after a painful break up six years earlier. They relive their memories in the build up to seeing each other and come to conclusions about the way things ended. 
🧡 Late Late by @taggiecb
(M, 29k, friends to lovers) 5 Years after Louis becomes a father, and the band takes a permanent hiatus, Louis Tomlinson finds himself hosting his first episode of The Late Late Show.
🧡 Baby, You Were the Love of My Life by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation
(NR, 24k, exes) He asks Liam if he can use his country house and set up a studio in his front room, and Liam agrees. Little does Harry know that Liam has an unplanned guest staying in that house - someone who saved him and ruined him in equal measure.
🧡 Tuca Tuca (ILikeYouILikeYouILikeYou) by @persephoneflouwers
(E, 4k, established relationship) The San Francisco getaway AU, where Harry is needy and Louis has a flight to LA in a few hours.
🧡 seven hours behind by @justanothershadeofblue
(E, 4k, established relationship) Louis's got a post-show buzz to work off, and a lover across the ocean who's just waking up for the day.
🧡  Finally Their Time by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic
(NR, 4k, Met Gala) Harry and Louis attend the Met Gala together, and suddenly the whole world knows
🧡 Second Time's A Charm by The_Dizzy_Pixie
(M, 4k, injury) The one where Harry finds out Louis broke his arm. For the second time in one year.
🧡 Let Me Taste Your Silhouette by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28
(E, 4k, phone sex) the one where Harry accidentally posts a picture to his main Instagram story instead of only to his close friends, and he just happens to be wearing a 28 Official Programme shirt. Louis happens to notice
🧡 Let Me Take Care Of You by @tommokat
(M, 2k, hurt/comfort) Louis' in Poland with a fractured elbow and Harry's in California, but all he wants is to take care of him.
🧡 a mega fish butty by trackfive
(G, 1k, established relationship) louis is notoriously bad in the kitchen, but he figured a fish finger sandwich wouldn't be all too hard. what he didn't account for was the disruptive, half-naked cameraman who refused to help him slice a tomato.
🧡 Wading in Your Warmth by @insightfulinsomniac
(E, 1k, established relationship) The boys, in love and basking in the LA sun, share a private moment in the pool. aka a fic based on Louis’ recent Instagram story.
- Rare Pairs -
🧡 Kissing in the Rain by Writcraft / @writsgrimmyblog
(E, 93k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) It starts at a party with shitty cocktails, a DJ that's definitely not as good as Nick and some 'that only happens in the movies' kissing in the rain.
🧡 Live a Thousand Lifetimes by Layne Faire / @laynefaire
(E, 57k, Zayn/Liam) After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.
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eunseoksimp · 1 month ago
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is there going to be a part two of west coast 🥲🥲🥲 i need them to finally get together or reader to move on and wonbin realize what he lost
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after months of deleting and rewriting and an absurd amount of overthinking, part 2 is finally here. i love this fic so much and i’m glad you guys enjoyed part one, here’s to hoping you enjoy this too :)
p.s this is now a three part series because this part was way longer than i expected it to be
Pairings: Lead Singer!Park Wonbin x Bass Guitarist!Reader
Genre: Angst, Songfic
Description: falling for park wonbin was inevitable—like chasing a song you’ll never finish. he’s magnetic under stage lights and even more dangerous when they dim, leaving behind glances that linger too long and touches that feel too much like promises. you told yourself that night meant nothing, but some things don’t stay buried. now, every song you write feels like him, and you’re not sure how much longer you can pretend otherwise.
Warnings: alcohol consumption (again), gut wrenching heartbreak (you have been warned), a tension filled kiss, wc is somehow 24k.
read part 1 here
. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
the final show of the tour should’ve been electric—alive with the roar of thousands, the kind of rush that settled deep in your bones and lingered long after the last note faded. the crowd’s energy surged forward in waves, pulsing beneath the weight of the stage lights, each scream carving itself into the air like static desperate to cling to something solid. 
but tonight, it felt distant, hollow in a way that no amount of sound could fill—like trying to chase the echo of a song that no longer belonged to you.
your fingers flexed around the neck of your guitar, the strap digging faintly into your shoulder, but even the familiar weight felt wrong—too heavy, too much, yet not enough all at once. every movement was automatic, drawn from muscle memory you couldn’t shake, but there was no spark beneath it.
 not when he was there, standing just feet away, the bright stage lights catching in the tousled strands of his hair, painting him in hues of gold that felt blinding and unreachable.
park wonbin.
even in the middle of a stage, with thousands of eyes on him, he made it seem like the whole world had narrowed to fit the edges of his silhouette. his head dipped low, fingers curling around the mic stand as the rough edge of his voice slipped into the air, wrapping around the crowd and pulling them under as easily as breathing. 
every note felt deliberate, the kind of performance that left no room for hesitation, and you hated the way your eyes traced the lines of his frame as if tethered there, unable to look away.
wonbin stood at the very edge of the stage, the crowd stretching endlessly before him, but it felt as if the entire room funneled into that single point—him. 
the mic dangled carelessly in one hand, his fingers curling around the metal with the same ease he wore in everything he did. his other hand raked through the damp strands of his hair, pushing it back just enough for the stage lights to catch along the sharp curve of his jaw, painting him in fragments of silver and gold. 
he looked untouchable—impossibly perfect, as if he existed just a breath outside of reality, shimmering at the edges like something your mind could only conjure at night, in dreams you wished you didn’t have.
his smile was a weapon—bladed and bright, slicing through the thick air and leaving a trail of casualties in its wake. you could see it in the way the crowd responded, how the front row leaned in just a little closer, how the sound of screaming filled every hollow part of the room. it shouldn’t have reached you, shouldn’t have cut so deep, but it did and you felt it settle somewhere beneath your ribs, sinking into the fragile parts of you that you’d thought were buried beneath layers of stage lights and sound.
this was the man you’d written everything for—the melodies, the lyrics that spilled from your hands late at night when sleep felt too far away. the chords you’d strummed until your fingertips were raw, hoping the weight of your heart might somehow carry across the strings. you had poured yourself into each note, crafting the very shape of him through the songs you bled onto paper, driven by a love that tangled itself so deeply into your music that it felt inseparable from who you were.
but he hadn’t seen it.
not the way you saw him.
wonbin existed just beyond reach, lingering at the edges of every song, every glance that held for too long in the quiet spaces between rehearsals. and when you had dared to close the distance—to lay your heart bare in a way that felt terrifying and inevitable all at once—he hadn’t crushed it with words or sharp rejection. no, that would’ve been easier.
instead, he’d met you with the kind of indifference that left deeper scars. it wasn’t cruelty. it wasn’t malice. it was worse.
because he didn’t know.
he hadn’t seen the depth of the wound he left behind, hadn’t realized the songs he sang now—so effortlessly, so obliviously—had been born from that ache. and as his voice spilled into the air, filling the space between you, it felt like he was singing those songs back to you.
but not for you. never for you.
this was the song.
the one you had written for him—about him—in the stillness of the night when the only sound was the soft hum of the tour bus and the ache in your chest you couldn’t put into words any other way. it wasn’t just a song, it was your confession, your breaking point, every jagged piece of your heart laid bare in the form of melody and chords.
wonbin stepped forward, mic in hand, and smiled faintly, his voice warm as it washed over the crowd.
 "this one’s special, written by our incredibly talented guitarist and our very own goddess of words—give it up for her."
the audience roared, their applause crashing like waves, but the sound barely registered. the stage lights felt too bright, bearing down on you as if they knew too much, as if they could see straight through the cracks you were trying so hard to hold together. you gave a small nod, barely enough to acknowledge the cheers, but your throat tightened when your fingers hovered over the strings.
your hands trembled, just faintly, as you picked the first few notes, the soft, aching melody stretching out over the venue like a secret you hadn’t meant to tell.
the crowd swayed, lights flickering softly like fireflies in the dark, but the only thing you could focus on was him—the way his head dipped slightly, the microphone close to his lips as he sang the opening verse.
and then it was your turn.
your voice slipped in beneath his, weaving through the melody like a breath you couldn’t hold back, soft and fleeting but impossibly intimate. it threaded through his effortlessly, your harmonies clinging to his in ways that felt too heavy, too raw. every word felt like reopening an old wound, pressing into the places you thought had long since scarred over.
his gaze stayed locked on the crowd, his eyes reflecting the sea of faces that stretched endlessly beneath the glow of the stage lights—hungry for him, devoted to him. you hated the ease with which he held them, how effortlessly he poured himself into their open hands like sunlight spilling through cracks, leaving nothing untouched. 
wonbin was a force—bright, untouchable, impossible to contain—and you felt like one of the thousands standing beneath him, trapped in his orbit but forever out of reach.
you strummed the final note, letting it hang in the air, suspended and bittersweet like a breath you didn’t want to release. for a fleeting second, the room seemed to pause with it, as if the sound could tether you there a moment longer, but the illusion shattered beneath the eruption of applause.
the crowd swallowed everything, their cheers crashed against the stage, drowning out the fragile rhythm of your heart still echoing in your ears.
wonbin grinned, flashing it out across the room like a weapon, and they ate it up—falling apart beneath the weight of his smile, their voices rising higher, feeding into the glow that surrounded him. he basked in it, soaking in their adoration like he belonged there, while you stood half a step behind, your guitar slung low and heavy in your hands. the strap dug faintly into your shoulder, but the weight pressing against your chest felt far worse.
you didn’t feel like you belonged here anymore. your stage, your music, only served of a reminder of him, of the pain it caused you.
the realization settled uncomfortably beneath your skin, tightening around you as the set barreled toward its inevitable end.
rhe closing anthem roared to life—loud and blistering, the kind of song that lit the crowd on fire, shaking the foundation beneath their feet. wonbin leaned into the mic, his voice molten with charisma, the kind that made hearts leap and arms reach toward the stage like he was something divine, just barely within their grasp.
"thank you for an unforgettable tour," he called out, his grin widening as the noise swelled impossibly louder. "we love you!"
and they loved him—loved him so loudly it felt as if the stage itself could barely contain it.
the cheers were deafening backstage, a chaotic symphony of laughter, clinking glasses, and the low hum of exhaustion masked by the adrenaline of finishing a tour. bottles of champagne popped open like firecrackers, sending golden arcs of champagne cascading through the air, dripping off fingertips and pooling in half-empty glasses as your bandmates whooped loud enough to shake the ceiling. 
it was the kind of scene that was supposed to feel triumphant, the culmination of months of hard work, sleepless nights, and endless miles on the road. but you couldn’t bring yourself to celebrate. the celebration drifted around you, filling the spaces you didn’t occupy.
you sat perched on the armrest of a worn-out couch in the corner of the room, your guitar resting against your thigh, the familiar weight grounding you even as the world spun around you. the energy in the room was infectious, but it didn’t reach you.it couldn’t.
 not when he was standing there, oblivious to the way his mere existence unraveled you, threaded into the heart of it all, like the entire room had shifted to revolve around him.
wonbin was at the center of it all, as he always was. his easy laugh cut through the noise, rich and melodic, the kind of laugh that made people gravitate toward him without even realizing it. he had a drink in one hand, the other slung lazily around the shoulder of the waitress from earlier. the one who’d been lingering at the edge of the stage, her eyes glued to him like so many others.
she clung to him now, her fingers curling possessively around his arm, her smile bright and adoring as she looked up at him. he didn’t seem to mind. in fact, he leaned into her touch, his posture relaxed, his face a picture of effortless charm.
the sight of it twisted something sharp and unwelcome inside you, settling heavily in the hollow of your chest like stones sinking into water, squeezing the air from your lungs.
you tore your gaze away, eyes dropping to the scuffed floorboards as if their worn, splintered surface might offer some kind of refuge. but it didn’t. the image of them—wonbin and the girl—was already burned there, seared into the backs of your eyelids like an unwanted tattoo, impossible to scrub away.
the weight of it lingered, gnawing at the fragile edges of your composure, until a familiar voice cut through the fog.
“hey, you good?”
yunjin’s tone was soft, but there was a sharpness beneath it—the kind of sharpness that saw too much. she dropped down beside you with the kind of casual ease only she could manage, her dress rumpled slightly from the night, cheeks still faintly flushed from the heat of the stage lights and the champagne. 
but her eyes—clear and steady—searched your face with quiet precision, narrowing faintly when you hesitated a beat too long.
“yeah,” you said, the lie slipping from your lips before you had time to soften it. you forced a smile, tugging the corners of your mouth upward until it felt tight, stretched thin enough to break. 
“just tired.”
her gaze lingered, weighing the answer as if she could peel back the surface of it with nothing more than silence. she didn’t believe you, not entirely, but she didn’t press.
instead, she nudged your shoulder lightly with hers, a small gesture that somehow felt grounding, her voice dipping low—soft enough that it barely carried over the thrum of conversation filling the room.
“it’s okay to let loose, you know,” she whispered, her tone light but edged with the kind of quiet sincerity that made your throat tighten. 
“we made it. the tour’s over, and we killed it.”
you nodded once, grateful for the attempt, but the words felt hollow—empty, like an echo swallowed by too much space.
across the room, hongjoong’s laughter rang out, bright and unrestrained as he draped an arm over gunil’s shoulders, both of them swaying slightly as they stumbled toward the makeshift bar.
“to the best damn tour we’ve ever done!” hongjoong shouted, lifting his glass high above his head in a triumphant toast.
 the declaration earned a loud chorus of cheers and whistles, someone banging a fist against the table in agreement as the bottles clinked together in celebration.
the energy swelled around you, infectious and warm, but it slipped right past you—like standing outside in the cold, watching a fire through the glass but never stepping inside.
and even as you smiled faintly, nodding along to yunjin’s words, your heart remained fixed elsewhere—still lingering in the shadow of someone who didn’t even know you were waiting there.
wonbin’s voice rose above the noise, effortless and warm, and somehow it carried more weight than the rest—cut through everything, even when you wished it wouldn’t. his laugh followed, low and rich, spreading through the room like wildfire, igniting smiles and drawing every eye toward him as if he was the very center of the world.
and maybe he was.
the waitress at his side laughed too, tipping her head back in that familiar way—the one you’d seen a hundred times from countless girls in countless cities. she leaned into him, her arm brushing against his, and the sight of it made your stomach twist violently, like something fragile inside you was curling in on itself, recoiling from the scene playing out just a few feet away.
you couldn’t look.
you couldn’t not look.
the knot in your chest coiled tighter, pulling so sharply it felt like it might snap if you stayed here any longer. the room shrank around you, the air growing thick and suffocating with each passing second, pressing in until the walls felt too close—until everything felt too loud.
every laugh grated against you, scraping raw against nerves already frayed at the edges, the clinking glasses and echoing cheers rang hollow, amplifying the ache beneath your skin, deepening the storm that had been quietly brewing in the pit of your stomach since the show ended.
your hand slipped to the guitar resting against your thigh, fingers grazing lightly over the strings, desperate for the familiar feeling beneath your touch. it grounded you, offered something steady in the middle of all the chaos. it didn’t hurt. it was the only thing that didn’t.
“hey rockstar, you’re way too quiet for someone who just killed that stage.”
minjeong’s voice cut gently through the haze, her hand finding your arm, warm and steady—a tether pulling you back down to earth. her eyes were soft, concerned but not prying, and for a moment you wanted to lean into that warmth, let her pull you from the edge.
“come on,” she added, giving your arm the faintest squeeze. “let’s get you a drink.”
“i’m not sure if i—“
“come on, one drink won’t hurt—“
“i’m fine,” you answered, but the words came too sharp, cutting the space between you like glass.
her hand slipped away, leaving behind a cold, hollow trace where her warmth had been, and guilt flared instantly beneath your ribs. you opened your mouth to apologize, but the words wouldn’t come—not when your throat was already too tight, not when it felt like the moment you spoke, everything might shatter around you.
instead, you rose abruptly, the movement sudden and graceless, pulling a few wandering glances from across the room. wonbin’s eyes never strayed from the girl beside him, but somehow that made it worse.
the noise—their laughter, his laughter—stretched thin, brittle against the edges of your mind until you couldn’t bear it any longer.
“i just need some air,” you mumbled to the two girls, the excuse barely audible as you slipped past minjeong, past the bodies filling the room, desperate to escape before the weight of it all swallowed you whole.
you didn’t stop until the door closed softly behind you, sealing the noise inside like a distant memory.
the hallway was a sanctuary of silence, the muffled echoes of laughter and celebration dissolving into the background like distant thunder. you leaned heavily against the cold concrete wall, letting it press into your spine, sharp and grounding. 
your palms slid up to your face, fingertips dragging along your skin as if the simple act of touch could smother the ache blooming relentlessly beneath your ribs. the chill bit into you, seeping through your fingers, but it wasn’t enough—not against the weight that had settled deep in your chest, heavy and unmoving.
he didn’t know.
not about the songs—the ones you’d written when sleep felt like an impossible thing, when the darkness outside the tour bus windows felt too heavy to bear alone. every lyric had been carved from the raw, unrelenting ache that he had unknowingly left behind, each melody a confession too fragile to say out loud. the words had poured out of you like blood, as if spilling them onto paper might ease the burn lodged beneath your skin. 
but none of it reached him.
not the sleepless nights. not the way your gaze clung to him on stage tonight, silently pleading for his eyes to meet yours, only to watch him look past you—through you and at the crowd. as if you weren’t there. as if you’d never been there at all.
your arms folded tightly across your chest, knuckles pressing against your ribs like that could hold the storm inside at bay, but the tremble had already started—deep and uncontrollable, unraveling you thread by thread. the cold wall against your back was solid, grounding in theory, but it did nothing to steady the shaking that crept beneath your skin.
the faint hum of celebration seeped through the door behind you, distant but persistent, bleeding into the quiet that wrapped around you like a shroud. the contrast felt unbearable—they were celebrating but you were breaking.
his voice echoed in fragments, replaying uninvited in your mind as he came to a stop next to you as the group exited the stage.
you were great tonight.
it should have been enough. hearing it from him, feeling the brief flicker of his attention—it should have been enough. but the hollowness in his tone, the effortless way he’d said it, twisted something sharp and unforgiving inside you.
he didn’t know. he didn’t feel it. not any of it.
the realization sliced through the haze like cold steel, quick and merciless, knocking the breath from your lungs. your fists curled at your sides, nails biting into your palms—deep enough to sting but not deep enough to drown out the ache curling tighter in your chest.
the air felt colder now, slipping down the corridor and winding around your body, tugging at the hem of your jacket, curling against the bare skin of your neck. it stung, but the cold was nothing compared to the raw, gnawing emptiness clawing at you from the inside, threatening to spill over if you stayed here too long.
and then, the door creaked behind you, soft footsteps breaking the fragile stillness, echoing faintly against the floor.
you didn’t look up, every part of you silently willing it to be someone else—anyone else, but you already knew. you felt him before he spoke.
wonbin.
his presence lingered just behind you, heavy and unmistakable, and even without seeing him, you could feel the weight of his eyes trailing over you, searching for something you weren’t sure you could give.
“you’ve been doing this a lot lately.”
his voice was low, just barely cutting through the quiet, like he was afraid to shatter the fragile stillness that hung between you. the weight of his words curled around the empty space, soft but certain, and something inside you twisted painfully at the sound.
your stomach flipped, and you swallowed hard, willing the sudden tightness in your throat to ease as you dragged your gaze up to meet his.
wonbin stood a few steps away, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, his head tilted slightly as he watched you. his hair, still damp from the stage lights, hung in loose, uneven strands over his forehead, the kind of careless perfection that felt maddeningly effortless. the soft glow from the hallway lights caught along the edge of his jaw, tracing his profile in faint gold, making him look more like a daydream than someone standing right in front of you.
his face was unreadable, calm in a way that felt impossible for the moment unraveling between you. but his eyes—those eyes—they didn’t waver. they stayed locked on you, steady and searching, as if he was peeling back every layer of silence and holding each fragile piece up to the light.
“doing what?” the words scraped against the walls of your throat, but you managed to keep your voice level, even though your heart hammered violently beneath your ribs.
“disappearing.”
he stepped forward, slow and deliberate, his movements careful—like he was approaching something fragile, something that might break if he got too close.
“you vanish right when everyone’s celebrating.” his gaze didn’t leave you, and the way he said it felt heavier than it should’ve. “it’s the last show, and you’re... here.”
“i needed some air.”
it came out clipped, harsher than you intended, as you shifted your focus to the floor, eyes trailing over the scuffed lines along the concrete. anywhere but him.
wonbin repeated the word under his breath, almost like he was trying it out for the first time, as if the concept itself was strange to him. the disbelief in his tone was faint, but it still brushed against you like an accusation.
a long pause stretched between you, thick and suffocating, until the weight of it pressed hard against your chest.
“you feeling okay?”
the question should have been simple, casual, even, but it wasn’t. it hit with the force of something heavier—something that cracked through the delicate balance you’d been desperately holding together since the show ended.
you forced a laugh, light and brittle, hoping it would break the tension. but it didn’t. it only made the ache sharpen, coiling deeper beneath your skin.
“i’m fine.”
“...you don’t seem fine.”
his voice softened, and damn him for that—for the quiet way his concern slipped into the space between you, for the way it made you want to crumble right there and let it all spill out at his feet, like it always did.
“what do you want me to say, wonbin?”
the words snapped out of you, harsher than you meant, but you couldn’t pull them back. they tore through the silence before you could stop them, unraveling like frayed edges you’d tried so hard to keep tucked away.
“that I’m tired? that i’ve got a headache and would like to go home? would that satisfy your curiosity”
his brows furrowed, and for a moment, he just stood there, letting the silence stretch between you—not reacting, not recoiling, just looking at you. his eyes softened slightly, but the weight of his gaze didn’t lift. it pressed harder, as if he was turning your words over in his mind, trying to decide what to do with them.
“no,” he said quietly, his voice dropping lower. 
“i just wanted to know that you were doing okay. that nothing was bothering you.”
you bit down on the inside of your cheek, hard enough that you tasted copper, hoping the sharpness of it would ground you—hoping it would keep the tears pricking at the edges of your vision from spilling over.
the silence after that felt heavier, stretching long enough to become unbearable, long enough for the ache in your chest to morph into something suffocating.
“you should go back.”
the words barely made it past your lips, forced through clenched teeth like glass, cutting on the way out.
“everyone’s waiting for you, the star of the show”
wonbin didn’t move, barely reacting to what you said. instead  he stayed where he was, his head tilting slightly, but his eyes never left yours.
“and you?”
you couldn’t answer.
the words dissolved on your tongue, swallowed by the storm tangled inside your chest—the love, the pain, the unbearable weight of everything you hadn’t said, all crashing and colliding like waves threatening to pull you under. the silence stretched, taut and unrelenting, pressing hard against your ribs until you thought you might drown in it.
so you did the only thing you could. you shook your head, turning away before the crack in your composure betrayed you. the movement felt stiff, like each muscle resisted the urge to stay, to let him see the fractures spreading beneath the surface. but you couldn’t—you wouldn’t.
wonbin lingered, his presence anchoring the space behind you. you could hear it—the soft rhythm of his breathing, uneven and quiet, weaving into the faint hum of celebration filtering through the door. the distant echoes of laughter and glass didn’t reach him, didn’t touch this fragile moment suspended between you.
for a second, you thought he might say something else—something that could undo everything, something that could slip beneath the walls you’d spent months fortifying. the air felt too thick, as if the weight of whatever was left unsaid could break apart the fragile stillness hanging between you.
“you were great tonight. if anyone’s the star of the show it’s you.”
and then he turned, the slow fall of his footsteps fading into the distance, each one pulling him further away until the hallway emptied and the weight of his absence settled hard against your chest.
you exhaled sharply, the breath leaving your lungs in a trembling rush, but the cold air did nothing to ease the ache burrowed deep beneath your ribs. it filled you instead, stretching wide and endless, hollow in all the ways that hurt the most.
your hands trembled, slipping down to press against your thighs, fingers curling into the fabric of your dress until your nails dug sharply into the material. the sting grounded you—barely—but it wasn’t enough to pull you back from the edges of the unraveling.
the hallway seemed smaller now, the shadows creeping in at the corners, the walls pressing closer as if they might collapse under the weight of everything you couldn’t bring yourself to say.
you leaned back against the wall, the rough texture scraping faintly against your skin, and let out a breathless laugh—brittle and sharp, but too hollow to hold any real amusement. it barely passed for anything other than the shape of a sob, thin and cracking apart at the edges before it faded entirely.
the ache in your chest didn’t fade, but you swallowed it down, the pain, the heartbreak, the love that burned inside you like a wildfire as you pushed off the wall, making your way back to the noise and the lights and the man who would always be just out of reach.
. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
the studio hummed with a low, ambient quiet—the kind of stillness that seemed to hold its breath, its walls thick with the scent of aged wood and metal strings, the kind of smell that clung to your clothes long after you’d left.
you sat alone in the corner, your fingers brushing absently over the strings of your guitar, coaxing out soft, mournful notes that dissolved into the air like exhaled secrets. 
it wasn’t deliberate; it never was. the music always found you in moments like these, seeping through the cracks in your resolve, filling the empty spaces with sounds that carried everything you couldn’t say aloud.
the light spilling through the high windows was pale and muted, catching the floating dust motes in a quiet dance. it painted the room in a palette of grays and golds, softening the sharp edges of the equipment scattered around the studio. the low light from the hanging bulbs painted the room in muted golds and ambers, casting elongated shadows that stretched and swayed with every shift of your body.
you let the weight of the guitar anchor you, its familiar curve resting against your body like a second heartbeat. each note you plucked seemed to pulse in your chest, resonating deeper than the strings, like the music was reaching into the raw, aching center of you. the hum of the guitar strings vibrated softly beneath your fingers, a muted melody that felt more like a heartbeat than a tune.
and then the door creaked open, shattering the fragile cocoon of sound you’d built around yourself. hongjoong walked in first, his expression a blend of practiced calm and sharp observation. his eyes flicked to you, lingering for a beat too long, as though he was trying to gauge the exact temperature of the storm you were hiding behind your carefully composed face.
“figured i’d find you here early.”
hongjoong’s voice was soft but carried a warmth that filled the room. you glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, a to-go coffee cup in each hand. his dark eyes held a flicker of amusement, but there was something else beneath it—a quiet understanding he didn’t voice. he crossed the room with deliberate steps, the soles of his sneakers barely making a sound against the hardwood floor.
“i brought you this. thought you might need it,” he said, setting the cup down on the edge of the amp beside you. 
his tone was casual, his expression carefully neutral. he didn’t press, didn’t ask why you were here so early or why your eyes looked a little more tired than usual. instead, he gave you a small smile, the kind that said he’d noticed but wouldn’t say anything until you were ready.
“thanks,” you murmured, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. the heat seeped into your palms, grounding you in the present moment. you took a tentative sip, the rich bitterness of the coffee cutting through the haze that clung to your mind.
before hongjoong could say anything else, the door swung open with a cheerful creak, and gunil strode in, his presence as loud and unapologetic as ever. 
“man, two days off and we’re already back here? this has to qualify as workplace cruelty,” he declared, tossing his bag onto the couch in the corner.
hongjoong let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “complain all you want, but you’re here, aren’t you?”
“barely,” gunil shot back, his grin infectious as he walked past you, ruffling your hair without a second thought. 
“you look extra broody today. what, the strings giving you a hard time?”
you swatted at his hand half-heartedly, a faint scowl tugging at your lips.
 “ever heard of personal space?”
“nope,” he replied breezily, collapsing onto the couch with a dramatic sigh.
hongjoong rolled his eyes but didn’t bother hiding his smile.
“you’re impossible.”
as the three of you settled into a comfortable rhythm, the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway. minjeong appeared in the doorway, her hair still slightly damp as if she’d rushed to get here. she offered a small smile as she entered, her gaze flickering to you briefly before she headed to her usual spot by the keyboard.
“hey, you didn’t reply to my text yesterday” she said softly, her voice carrying the same quiet strength that always managed to put you at ease.
“sorry, fell asleep early” you replied, your fingers idly plucking at the guitar strings. 
she didn’t push further, but her eyes lingered on you for a moment, a silent acknowledgment that she’d noticed the shift in your demeanor but said nothing as yunjin burst through the doors, taking the attention away from you.
the new quiet was broken by the sound of the door opening once more, and this time, it was wonbin. his presence seemed to fill the room effortlessly, his sun-kissed skin glowing under the warm light, and his tousled hair somehow managing to look both messy and perfect. he moved with an easy confidence, the kind that wasn’t overbearing but commanded attention nonetheless.
he held a coffee cup in one hand and a bag of pastries in the other, his smile disarming as he approached. 
“morning,” he greeted, his voice smooth and warm like honey. he handed the cup to you without hesitation. 
“thought you might need this.”
you blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “uh, thanks. but hongjoong already…”
for a moment, his gaze drifted to hongjoong, something unspoken flickering behind his eyes—there and gone in an instant, smoothed over before you could grasp its meaning.
“guess you’ll have two, then,” he said with a shrug, his smile never wavering. “never hurts to have extra caffeine, right?”
the room seemed to hum with his presence, the air shifting subtly as he took the seat across from you. his gaze was steady, a mix of curiosity and something softer, something you couldn’t quite place.
“have you been working on anything new?” he asked, gesturing to the guitar in your hands, attempting to make conversation with you.
“a little,” you admitted, your voice quieter than you intended. 
“just messing around really, drawing from some inspiration”
“messing around or making magic?” he countered, his tone light but the compliment sincere. 
“you always come up with the best stuff when you’re ‘just messing around.’”
you felt a faint heat rise to your cheeks and quickly turned your attention back to the guitar. 
“it’s nothing special.”
before the conversation could go any further, gunil’s voice rang out from the couch. “
“are we actually going to practice today, or are we just going to sit around complimenting each other?”
“leave it to you to ruin the moment,” minjeong muttered, earning a chorus of laughter from the others.
you couldn’t bring yourself to join in, the weight in your chest making it hard to muster even a faint smile. instead, you focused on the strings beneath your fingers, letting the vibrations seep into your skin, grounding you in the one thing that always made sense: the music.
the room settles into a quiet hum as everyone takes their places. the faint scent of coffee and the lingering warmth of laughter begin to dissipate, replaced by the raw anticipation of creating something new. yunjin taps a steady rhythm against the edge of her keyboard, her fingers moving in a dance of idle precision, while hongjoong adjusts his microphone with the care of someone about to bare his soul.
your guitar rests in your lap, its polished surface reflecting the muted studio lights. the strings feel like a lifeline beneath your fingertips, taut and ready to carry the weight of your unspoken emotions. you let out a slow breath, the cool air filling your lungs as you begin to strum, the first notes blooming into the space like ink spreading through water.
the melody you play is haunting and raw, a reflection of the turmoil churning within you. each chord is deliberate, resonating with a depth that makes the others pause and glance your way. 
wonbin is the first to speak, his voice warm but tinged with curiosity.
"that’s new," he says, leaning slightly forward, his attention fixed on you. "what’s it called?"
you shrug, keeping your gaze on the strings as your fingers continue to move. 
"it doesn’t have a name yet."
"it’s beautiful," he says softly, and there’s something in his tone that makes your heart clench. 
"play it again."
you do, this time letting the notes unfurl with more confidence. the melody builds, a cascade of sound that fills the room, weaving through the space like a story yearning to be told. your fingers press into the strings with a force that’s almost desperate, as if each note is a piece of the pain you’re trying to expel.
hongjoong picks up on the rhythm, his voice slipping in seamlessly to complement the haunting tune. his lyrics are improvised, raw and unpolished, but they carry an emotional weight that anchors the song. minjeong follows suit, her keyboard adding a delicate, ethereal layer that lifts the melody, while gunil’s drumsticks tap against his thighs, testing out a beat.
the room comes alive, each member adding their own voice to the burgeoning song. but for you, it’s not just music—it’s a lifeline. the guitar strings bite into your fingertips, the faint sting grounding you in the present. the vibrations hum against your chest, echoing the ache that refuses to leave. you close your eyes, letting the music guide you, each strum a step further into vulnerability.
"that’s it," hongjoong says suddenly, his voice breaking through the spell. "let’s build on this."
the band falls into rhythm, the synergy between you all palpable despite the undercurrent of tension. gunil’s drumming grows bolder, a heartbeat that anchors the song, while minjeong experiments with harmonies that dance around the melody. wonbin’s bassline is steady and grounding, a quiet strength that ties the disparate elements together.
his presence, however, is anything but quiet to you. every time you catch sight of him—his fingers moving deftly over the strings, his brow furrowed in concentration—you feel the music falter, your emotions threatening to spill over. he looks up at you occasionally, a small smile tugging at his lips, and you force yourself to look away, focusing instead on the guitar strings and the way they seem to vibrate with your pain.
as the practice continues, the song begins to take shape, its edges smoothing out as the band finds its groove. the room fills with sound, a cacophony of creativity and collaboration, but for you, it’s more than that. it’s a battlefield, each note a weapon you wield against the ache in your chest.
the last chord hung in the air like an unfinished thought, trembling before dissolving into silence. the room should’ve felt full—buzzing with the energy of creation, the satisfaction of crafting something raw and unpolished—but all you felt was emptiness. the kind that crept beneath your skin and stayed there, curling around your ribs like smoke that refused to dissipate.
gunil’s voice cut through it first, loud and buoyant, shattering the delicate quiet you were trying to lose yourself in.
"we’re geniuses. i mean, honestly. did you hear that?"
he stretched like a cat, tossing his drumsticks onto the floor with the lazy confidence of someone entirely at ease in his own skin. the grin on his face was radiant, wide enough to outshine the dim studio lights overhead.
hongjoong snorted softly, rolling his eyes, leaning casually against the edge of the soundboard.
 "yeah, it’s almost like we’re supposed to be good at this."
"i’m just saying," gunil countered, grinning at the ceiling like the notes were still floating up there, just waiting for him to catch them.
 "that was some top-tier stuff. and you know what top-tier stuff deserves?"
there was a collective pause.
"celebration." gunil grinned, flashing his teeth like he’d been holding onto the word just for this moment.
the room stirred at the word, faint murmurs of agreement rising like sparks, drifting slowly toward ignition. hongjoong raised a brow, though the amusement tugging at his lips betrayed his resistance.
 "didn’t we just drink enough to drown a small village on tour?"
"and yet, here we are. alive and well," gunil shot back, undeterred.
"you of all people should not be saying that," minjeong muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she reminisced all of the times she had to beg him to get into the van after a long night of partying hard.
but the room was already stirring with the promise of a night out. the hum of conversation grew louder, and even minjeong’s faint amusement tugged at the corners of her mouth. gunil’s enthusiasm was infectious, spreading like wildfire as the others chimed in.
"come on, hongjoong," gunil pressed, his voice rising above the chatter. "we earned this. final show was killer, the album’s practically writing itself… one night won’t hurt."
the suggestion hung there, and despite hongjoong’s half-hearted protest, the atmosphere began to shift. the idea of a party swirled like a low flame, licking at the edges of the room, spreading through the rest of them with ease. gunil thrived in these moments—the instigator, pulling everyone into his orbit until they were caught in the gravity of whatever whim struck him that day.
hongjoong sighed, but the grin tugging at his lips betrayed him. 
"fine, fine. if it means you’ll stop talking, I’ll go."
a cheer erupted, loud and unanimous—gunil’s voice carrying the most weight, echoing playfully around the room. the excitement gathered like a tidal wave, pulling everyone along with it.
you, however, remained rooted. their excitement drifted past you, ghostlike, as if there was an unspoken barrier between their laughter and the hollow ache that had settled deep within your chest.
celebrate?
the word tasted strange. foreign. how could they be so light when everything inside you felt heavy—when every glance at wonbin during practice felt like swallowing glass? the weight of it all hadn’t lessened in the days since the tour ended. if anything, it had thickened, pressing against your ribs until breathing felt like an effort you had to remember to make.
your grip tightened around the neck of your guitar, the strings humming faintly beneath your fingertips as if the instrument was the only one listening. you tried to disappear into that—into the comfort of its weight in your lap, the way the cool metal bit against the soft skin of your palms.
"you’re thinking too loud."
yunjin’s voice drifted in softly, cutting through the fog. her presence was quiet but grounding, standing just beside you. she hadn’t been there moments ago, but she always knew when to appear.
"you don’t want to go."
it wasn’t a question.
you let out a slow breath, your fingers absentmindedly trailing over the strings, pulling faint, broken notes from the guitar. 
"i just don’t know if i can handle it tonight."
the words were quiet, almost drowned by the sounds of the others still talking across the room. but yunjin’s eyes softened, catching on the slight tremble hidden beneath your voice.
"maybe that’s why you should," she said simply, her gaze steady but not forceful. 
"you’ve been carrying this for too long. sometimes a little noise helps."
the ache in your chest curled tighter.
if only it were that simple.
you wanted to tell her that noise didn’t distract you—it amplified everything. the lights, the sound, the closeness of it all made wonbin’s presence impossible to ignore, his absence impossible to forget, but you said none of that.
"i don’t know," you whispered, as if the uncertainty might shrink into something smaller if you spoke it softly enough.
yunjin offered a small smile, brushing her shoulder lightly against yours in a way that felt more comforting than words ever could. 
"i’ll stick by you. if it sucks, we’ll leave."
her voice carried the kind of certainty you wished you had, and somehow, that was enough to loosen the grip of hesitation just a little.
"fine," you exhaled, feeling the weight of the word settle somewhere deep, somewhere heavy.
yunjin’s grin softened the blow. 
"that’s all i needed to hear."
you glanced up, just long enough to see hongjoong’s gaze flicker in your direction. he hadn’t said much, but the way his eyes lingered told you he’d noticed your reluctance. hongjoong always noticed.
"meet at nine at my place," he said casually, as if your answer was inevitable. 
"don’t be late,” he directed the last part towards you, discouraging you from having any last minute change of heart.
gunil’s grin widened. "i’ll drag you there if i have to."
you offered a faint nod, though the words felt distant in your mouth.
as the others began to filter out, wonbin lingered near the door. his bass case hung from his shoulder, his tousled hair catching faint light from the overhead bulbs, glinting like dark gold. he paused for half a breath, his gaze catching yours.
you thought he might say something—maybe offer one of his casual comments, the kind that tugged on the strings of your heart more than it should have.
but he didn’t. he just smiled, small and unreadable, before stepping out after the others. the studio was quiet again, save for the soft hum of amps cooling down. you sat in the silence, the ghost of his smile still lingering in the room like a faint echo. 
maybe a little noise will help, you thought, but the ache in your chest whispered otherwise.
. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
yunjin’s suitcase had become an extension of the room itself, its contents spilling onto the bed in a cascade of silk and satin. the fabrics caught the dim light like oil slicks, shifting hues with every turn of her hand as she rummaged through the pile with the focus of someone convinced salvation lay at the bottom. 
dresses pooled across the sheets in soft waves, some half-folded, others left to spill over the edge onto the floor. her hands skimmed through them with surgical precision, sifting through the cascade of black and silver, each piece discarded with growing dissatisfaction.
“you’ve got to have something in here that doesn’t scream nun,” yunjin muttered, tossing aside a long black dress that pooled onto the floor like liquid shadow.
he room hummed softly with the sound of minjeong’s playlist, drifting in and out like waves lapping against the shore, but the music felt distant, as if it belonged to another place entirely. minjeong sat by the window, one leg tucked beneath her, hair falling in loose sheets over her shoulder as she watched with idle amusement.
she didn’t bother scrolling through her phone, the faint glow of the city outside enough to occupy her gaze, but you could feel her attention linger, settling quietly on the two of you from the corner of her eyes. she hadn’t contributed much to the dressing-up process beyond the occasional hum of agreement or head shake, but her presence was grounding. It was comforting in the way only minjeong’s quiet support could be.
“it’s not supposed to be this hard,” minjeong replied smoothly, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “you’re just impossible to please.”
yunjin ignored her, rifling deeper through the pile, undeterred by the jab.
you sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, tugging at the hem of the oversized t-shirt that still hung loosely off your frame, trying to shrink into its comfort as you hadn’t found the energy to part with it yet. the worn fabric felt safer than the glossy array of dresses before you. each option seemed louder than the next—demanding attention in ways you didn’t want.
“i don’t need anything flashy or revealing,” you murmured, trailing your fingers over a silky slip dress before quickly pulling back.
“you’re not hiding tonight. you deserve to feel good… even if it’s just for a few hours.”
you didn’t respond, not because you disagreed, but because part of you wondered if you even remembered how to feel that way. it had been easier during the tour—easier to let the music fill the spaces where your feelings threatened to seep through. but now the quiet was suffocating, leaving nothing to drown out the weight pressing against your chest.
yunjin didn’t wait for your answer. she pulled something dark and slinky from the pile and held it up with a triumphant gleam in her eyes. 
“this is it.”
"maybe I should just—"
"—not finish that sentence," yunjin cut in, raising a hand to silence whatever excuse was on your lips. "you’re not skipping out on tonight."
"i wasn’t going to skip."
"mm-hm." yunjin’s eyes narrowed in challenge.
"then you’re wearing this."
minjeong arched a brow, her gaze flicking between the two of you with amusement. "are we trying to start wars tonight, or…"
"if we have to," yunjin replied, her lips curling into a mischievous grin.
“no.”
“yes.”
“yunjin, i’m serious—”
“so am i.”
minjeong let out a quiet laugh, propping her chin on her hand as she watched the two of you. 
“you’re fighting a losing battle. just try it on.”
you slipped into it reluctantly, the silk cool against your skin, fitting in ways that made you hyper aware of every movement—the soft brush of fabric against your thigh, the subtle shift when you walked, as if the dress was designed to remind you of its presence.
the dress felt unfamiliar, even as it slid over your skin, molding to your shape like it had been waiting for this moment. the black fabric clung to you in waves, the high slit brushing against your thigh with each subtle shift, teasing glances at your legs as you moved.
yunjin hummed softly behind you as she swiped a thin layer of red over your lips, the color blooming beneath her careful hand, rich and bold against the softness of your skin.
“perfect,” she whispered, stepping back to admire her work.
you stared at the reflection in the mirror, the familiar slope of your collarbone catching the low light, the soft fall of your hair framing your features. it wasn’t a transformation—it was still you. only sharper. like someone had peeled away the softer edges and left behind something more defined.
it’s not someone else in the mirror, but the version of yourself you use sparingly—the one you keep tucked away, for moments like this.
minjeong had been careful with the makeup, blending shadows at the corners of your eyes until they smoldered just enough to draw focus, but not enough to overwhelm. the person looking back is still you. but sharper, guarded. as if every detail has been edged in something dangerous.
minjeong watched quietly from the bed, her gaze steady, arms crossed as if to say i told you so.
“wonbin’s not ready for this,” yunjin added, smirking knowingly.
your chest felt hollow at the mention of his name, an ache curling beneath your ribs that hadn’t fully subsided since the end of the tour.
you could still see him—wonbin, leaning against the edge of the stage, the low sweep of his hair falling into his eyes as he tuned his bass, completely unaware of the way your gaze lingered. he never noticed the way your breath hitched when his hand accidentally brushed yours during practice, or how your fingers fumbled over the guitar strings when he laughed, loose and careless, his arm slung over another girl’s shoulder at some party you didn’t want to remember.
“it’s not about him.”
yunjin’s gaze softened, but her grip on the dress remained firm. 
“maybe not. but it wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
minjeong rose from her spot by the window, crossing the room with the same quiet grace she always carried, but her gaze lingered when she stopped beside you.
“he’ll notice,” she said simply.
and somehow, that terrified you more than the thought of him looking away.
the rain had stopped long enough for the streets to dry, but the dampness still clung to the air, curling in the spaces where warmth had no business lingering. yunjin’s arm looped easily through yours, her body angled closer than usual, like she could sense the weight pressing down on you, even if you hadn’t said a word since leaving the hotel.
the dress hugged tighter than before, each shift of your hips against the silk like a reminder of how exposed you were beneath the thin layer. the heels felt too high, the cold biting at the sliver of skin where the slit along your thigh dared to catch the wind, and with each step toward hongjoong’s apartment, the gravity of the evening pressed harder into your chest.
your heart pounded—not from excitement or anticipation, but from something heavier, like dread disguised in a prettier shape. the kind of ache that curls inward, weaving through the cracks until you can’t tell if it’s even possible to separate the pain from yourself anymore.
you could already see wonbin in your mind—the way he’d sit with one arm slung over the couch, his head tilting just enough to push his hair from his eyes, that smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. effortless. like everything about him had been carefully crafted to draw people in without ever letting them get close enough to matter.
and yet, you could never seem to stop yourself from standing just close enough to get burned.
“you okay?” yunjin’s voice was softer now, breaking through the cold silence that wrapped around the both of you.
you forced a nod, the lie settling between your ribs, heavy and sharp.
but the truth was lodged deeper—no, i’m not okay.
you weren’t okay when the tour ended, when the final show’s lights dimmed and you watched him from the side of the stage, knowing that no song, no applause, could drown out the ache blooming inside your chest.
you weren’t okay when he laughed with another girl at the last party, her hand curling over his forearm like it belonged there, his gaze never once flicking in your direction.
and you weren’t okay now, knowing that by the time this night ended, nothing would have changed except the depth of the wound you were already carrying.
the apartment building loomed ahead, the faint glow of hongjoong’s window spilling out onto the street below, shadows of figures moving behind the glass.
gunil’s voice was the first thing you heard when the door cracked open, his laugh low and careless as he leaned one shoulder against the frame, beer bottle dangling lazily from his fingers.
but the second his eyes flicked over you, something shifted—his posture straightening just enough to notice, his grin faltering as his gaze trailed slowly down the length of you, lingering where the dress slipped over your hips before snapping back up to meet your eyes.
“damn.” the word left him like a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. he stepped aside, waving you through but not before shaking his head with a disbelieving smile. “i mean—wow. somebody went all out tonight.”
you felt the heat crawl up the back of your neck, cheeks warming under the weight of his gaze, but yunjin just grinned, giving him a playful shove as she followed behind.
“don’t start drooling, gunil. she’s way out of your league.”
“i’m just saying,” he defended, holding his hands up as if to surrender. his eyes flicked to you again, softer this time. “you look great. like, seriously.”
the warmth in his voice felt genuine, enough to tug at something beneath the ache that had settled in your chest long before the night started.
the room was warm—warmer than it should’ve been with the windows cracked and the faint brush of night air curling in from the streets below. the soft thrum of music pressed against the walls, low enough to dissolve into the hum of conversation, laughter trickling in from the far side of the apartment where gunil was already making himself at home.
but none of it touched you.
your glass hovered halfway to your lips, fingers curled loosely around the cool edge as you stood by the farthest corner of hongjoong’s kitchen, barely skimming the edges of the gathering. it wasn’t crowded, but it felt like it was. the apartment stretched thinner, the walls pressing in, shrinking the space between you and the one person you were trying so desperately not to focus on.
wonbin.
he was leaning against the counter near the window, one hand cradling a glass that he hadn’t touched since you walked in.
the soft glow of the string lights draped across the ceiling spilled over him, illuminating the angles of his face—the soft curve of his mouth resting in that easy, half-smile he wore like second skin, dark hair falling over his eyes in lazy strands that framed him too perfectly.
he wasn’t doing anything remarkable, just existing. and somehow, that alone had the power to hold the entire room in orbit around him.
the space he occupied seemed heavier, pulling at you like some unrelenting tide, tugging at the threads that already felt too frayed to hold. you could feel him without looking—his presence crackling at the edges of your awareness, magnetic in that quiet, dangerous way that made you want to step closer even when you knew it would only hurt.
gunil said something loud enough to pull laughter from the others, his voice rising over the rest like a spark in dry air, but it didn’t reach you.
because wonbin’s gaze had found you.
it was slow at first—a fleeting glance that should’ve passed over you like it did everyone else, but it didn’t.
his eyes lingered, trailing over the dip of your shoulder where yunjin’s necklace rested against your collarbone, skimming the soft curve of your waist before settling on the slit of your dress that shifted with the subtle sway of your weight.
and in that moment, the room dissolved.
everything blurred into the background—gunil’s voice, the music, the quiet murmur of hongjoong’s conversation with minjeong—all of it faded into static.
because the only thing anchoring you to this moment was the weight of wonbin’s eyes holding yours.
your breath hitched, catching in your throat like fragile glass, and the ache you thought you’d buried months ago pressed itself sharp against your ribs, curling tighter the longer he looked, he wasn’t smiling now, his expression was unreadable, but the intensity in his gaze was enough to set your skin alight, each second stretching thinner, pulling taut until it felt like you might break beneath it.
you didn’t move and neither did he but the space between you felt electric, charged with something unspoken that neither of you dared to reach for. you wanted to believe—for just a second—that maybe this time it was different, that maybe he was looking at you the way you always caught yourself looking at him.
but hope was a fragile thing, and it shattered the moment he blinked and his gaze dropped, falling away like the air had been sucked from the room, leaving behind the hollow echo of what could’ve been.
his attention shifted easily, sliding toward gunil as if nothing had happened—as if you hadn’t just felt your entire chest cave in beneath the weight of his stare.
you tried to breathe, but the air felt thick, and the whiskey in your glass did nothing to chase away the cold settling beneath your skin but it hurt—worse than you expected because it was always the same.
wonbin saw you, but he didn’t see you.
you were just another part of the room—another fleeting glance that didn’t stick, another shadow he’d forget the second he turned away. your heart twisted painfully, but you masked it with a slow sip of your drink, letting the burn scrape down your throat in the hopes that it would drown out the ache swelling in your chest.
yunjin was by your side before you even registered her presence, her shoulder brushing lightly against yours, grounding you in the only way she knew how.
“you’re doing that thing,” she murmured, leaning in close enough that her words barely carried past the rim of her glass.
“what thing?” you asked, though the faint tremble in your voice betrayed you.
“staring.”
your grip tightened subtly, the cold sweat of the glass slick against your palm.
“i’m not—”
“you are,” she interrupted softly, but there was no judgment in her tone—just quiet understanding.
she followed your gaze for a beat too long, watching the way wonbin’s head tilted back as he laughed at something gunil said, his hand lifting to brush through his hair.
you hated how easily he could exist like this—untouched, unaware of the way he held pieces of you you’d never been brave enough to hand over.
“it’s exhausting, isn’t it?” yunjin’s voice was low, but the weight behind it hit you square in the chest.
you didn’t answer, because there was no point in denying it. the ache had already carved itself so deeply into you that it felt permanent, like something you’d have to carry long after this night ended.
wonbin hadn’t glanced at you again, but that didn’t stop you from feeling the ghost of his gaze trailing along your skin, burning even when it was no longer there.
you wished you could stop caring, but no matter how much you tried to untangle yourself from him, he was woven into the fabric of you, threading through your veins like a quiet, persistent ache..
“we should head out soon,” hongjoong said, glancing at the time. he reached for his jacket slung over the back of the chair, slipping it on without urgency. “party won’t wait forever.”
gunil raised his bottle in mock agreement tilting it in your direction. “i’m just saying, if we’re bringing her like this, we might as well show up late and make an entrance.”
“you’re not subtle,” yunjin shot back, but the laughter in her voice softened the edge of her words.
the group began to gather near the door, the slow shuffle of jackets and boots filling the quiet that had settled over the apartment. hongjoong slipped into his usual role—organizer by default—moving between conversations as he rounded up stray belongings and gently nudged everyone toward the van waiting outside. his movements were easy, practiced, like someone who’d done this a hundred times before without thinking.
wonbin hung back, lingering near the window, the rim of his glass brushing against his lower lip as he took his time finishing the last of whatever he’d been drinking. his gaze drifted somewhere far beyond the street below, unfocused, almost thoughtful, before he finally set the empty glass down with a soft clink against the table.
the keys flashed silver as hongjoong pulled them free from his pocket, tossing them toward wonbin with a flick of his wrist. the metallic glint caught faintly in the streetlights seeping through the blinds, and for a moment, the apartment felt still—like something hanging in the air between the exchange.
wonbin caught them easily, fingers curling around the keyring with practiced grace, the jingle sharp enough to pull your attention back to the room.
hongjoong, already halfway into his jacket, hesitated just long enough to cast him a sideways glance. 
“you sure you’re good to drive?”
wonbin’s gaze shifted, meeting hongjoong’s with the faintest quirk of his brow, a soft half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“haven’t had a drop. you’d know if i did.”
the way he said it—smooth, unbothered—made your pulse stutter for reasons you didn’t want to dissect.
“it’s true,” gunil chimed in with a lazy grin, draping himself over hongjoong’s shoulder.
“i watched him sip on mocktails the whole time. the man’s practically a saint.”
hongjoong snorted. “right. saint wonbin.”
“if we crash, at least we’ll die with the prettiest driver in town,” gunil added with a grin, earning a chorus of laughter from yunjin and minjeong as they pushed their way out the door, the laughter echoing faintly as the group spilled out into the cool night air.
the weight in your chest only deepened when you stepped outside, the cool slap of night air rushing in to fill the empty space around you, the cold biting harder now as the wind curled around your legs where the dress left your skin exposed, but you said nothing, hugging your arms across your chest as you followed the others to the van.
the van waited just down the curb, parked beneath the hazy flicker of a streetlamp that buzzed faintly against the quiet. yunjin and minjeong made their way inside first, their laughter softening as the doors slid shut behind them, leaving only you, gunil, and wonbin lingering on the sidewalk.
gunil leaned against the van casually, taking his time finishing off the last sip of his beer.
you were already moving toward the open door, the quiet creak of hinges cutting softly through the night as you stepped toward the backseat. the city lights flickered faintly along the car’s surface, casting pale reflections that rippled like water beneath the curve of your fingertips. you didn’t think much of it—didn’t have to—until the faintest brush of warmth skimmed across your wrist, halting you mid-step.
the touch was featherlight, barely more than a flicker against your skin. but it burned. your breath stilled as your fingers hovered over the car door handle, the sudden weight of the moment crashing down as if time itself had narrowed to this—just the soft heat of his palm, the space between you, the silent pull that tugged at the edges of your resolve.
you turned, pulse thrumming at the base of your throat, each heartbeat painfully loud as your eyes lifted—slowly, hesitantly.
wonbin stood just behind you, his gaze already fixed on yours, steady and unreadable beneath the faint glow of the streetlights.
he didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to.
there was something in the way he looked at you—anchored you there, like gravity pulling you to him with an inevitability you couldn’t fight. the quiet hum of the distant city softened to nothing, the sound dissolving beneath the sharp, suffocating awareness of how close he was. his hand lingered just over yours, loose but present, the warmth seeping into your skin in a way that felt impossible to ignore.
wonbin’s eyes didn’t waver and neither did you. the silence stretched, threading itself tightly between you until the weight of it settled in your chest, thick and unrelenting.
then finally—finally—he spoke.
“sit up front. with me”
his voice slipped into the narrow space between you, low and quiet, curling around the inches that separated you. the words weren’t a request—soft but firm, threaded with something just beneath the surface that you couldn’t quite place. His head tipped faintly toward the front seat, the smallest tilt, but it was enough to unravel you.
your breath caught, heart slamming painfully against your ribs as the edges of the night seemed to press in closer, drawing the world smaller until it was just this.
just him.
gunil’s head tilted lazily, his eyes flicking between the two of you as something flickered across his face—a slow, knowing smile that spread like molasses, unhurried and far too pleased with itself.
“ah,” he drawled, crossing his arms over his chest with exaggerated amusement. “i get it now.”
The playful lilt in his voice dragged your attention sideways, but the hold of Wonbin’s gaze didn’t loosen.
“she looks too good to be admired from the backseat, huh?” gunil teased, his grin growing sharper as he leaned casually against the side of the car.
you barely heard him, the blood rushing in your ears was deafening, a steady thrum that drowned out everything but the weight of wonbin’s eyes still holding you in place but gunil didn’t seem to notice as he continued.
“can’t blame you,” he added with a carefree shrug, gesturing toward you with an easy nod. 
“she looks good enough to distract the whole damn car. might as well keep her up front where you can admire her properly, right?”
his words floated somewhere at the edge of your awareness—light, harmless, nothing more than the usual banter gunil was known for. but the tightness curling low in your stomach refused to ease, no matter how playful the intent.
wonbin didn’t laugh, he didn’t even glance at gunil his gaze remained anchored to yours, dark and steady, as if nothing else in the world existed in that moment but the space between you.
the silence stretched long enough to feel suffocating. and then, just when the weight of it threatened to press too hard against your chest, wonbin spoke again—soft, but unyielding.
“sit up front with me, please..”
the words slipped through the tension like silk, smoother this time but still leaving no room for argument. there was no teasing edge to his voice, no trace of the lighthearted indifference he so often carried. the usual glint in his eye, the careless charm—all of it was gone.
it wasn’t a question, it wasn’t even a request. it felt like a decision he’d made long before gunil ever opened his mouth—long before you had stepped toward the car at all and somehow, that realization made your heart stumble harder.
gunil hummed under his breath, a low, teasing sound that might have tugged a laugh from you on any other night but now, it barely registered—a distant echo drowned beneath the quiet hum of something far stronger.
the faint trace of wonbin’s touch still ghosted along your wrist, lingering like the remnants of a fading flame, delicate yet searing in its absence. it shouldn’t have felt this way—shouldn’t have meant anything, but it did.
your head dipped in a small nod, but even that felt heavier than it should have, as if the simple motion pulled at some invisible thread stretched taut between the two of you, tightening with a quiet inevitability.
a flicker crossed wonbin’s face—so quick, so fleeting—that you almost missed it. the slightest crease at the corner of his mouth, the shift in his eyes, something unreadable that dissolved the moment you caught it, vanishing as if it had never been there at all.
but you saw it, or maybe you only wanted to.
either way, he released your wrist, his fingers slipping away with a slowness that felt deliberate—like he meant for you to notice the absence, to feel the space left behind.
you swallowed, the heat rising beneath your skin at odds with the cool night air, and stepped forward. the soft thud of the passenger door closing behind you cut through the quiet as you settled into the seat. the leather pressed cool and smooth against your thighs, grounding you just enough to remember how to breathe.
funil slid into the back with the others, his laughter trailing softly behind him, though the grin he wore lingered—persistent, even in the faint reflection of the rearview mirror.
wonbin said nothing.
instead he slipped behind the wheel, the slow, fluid motion unnervingly calm, his hand hovered briefly over the ignition, but he didn’t start the car right away.
the soft click of his seatbelt broke the silence, the sound small but cutting in the closeness of the space, and somehow, it made the air between you feel even thinner.
the drive wasn’t long, but the silence stretched it thin, pulling the minutes like thread unraveling beneath the weight of something unspoken. the low hum of the engine beneath your feet seemed louder than the voices drifting lazily from the backseat—soft, distant, dissolving somewhere in the space between.
wonbin sat just inches away, his hands loose on the steering wheel, gaze fixed ahead, but his presence filled the van in a way that made the air feel heavier. the others kept talking, their laughter rising and falling in soft waves behind you, but it might as well have been static—background noise swallowed by the steady loop of your thoughts.
you hadn’t stopped thinking about it—the way he looked at you.
it wasn’t the brush of his hand against your wrist, though the ghost of that touch lingered somewhere beneath your skin, light but inescapable. no, it was the eyes that met yours in the moments after—the quiet weight in them, dark and searching, like he was trying to find something he couldn’t quite grasp.
it hadn’t left you.
even now, as the van eased to a stop and the low rumble of the engine faded into nothing, the weight of that look sat with you still, pressing into your ribs like an ache that refused to dissolve.
gunil was the first to move, his shoulder bumping into hongjoong’s as he twisted toward the door, hands planting against the seat as he shoved it open with one easy motion. the hinges groaned softly, the cool air rushing in like a breath of relief as gunil climbed out, stretching with the exaggerated groan of someone who had no right to be as energized as he was.
“finally,” he muttered, rolling his shoulders back. “felt like we were in there for hours.”
you didn’t follow—not yet.
your fingers curled around the handle, but the metal beneath your palm felt colder than it should have, grounding you in place even as the others began to filter out. the van felt safer somehow, quieter, like it might anchor you if you sat there long enough. the air, sharp against your bare arms, made you shiver, but you stayed rooted to the seat, watching the way the night folded softly around the edges of the open door.
wonbin didn’t move either.
his hand slipped from the steering wheel, falling to his lap, but he didn’t make any effort to climb out. instead, his gaze flickered toward you, lingering for just a second longer than it needed to—long enough for your breath to catch at the back of your throat.
but he didn’t say anything and neither did you.
his hands rested loosely on the steering wheel, fingers relaxed but unmoving, as if he had no intention of starting the car just yet. his head tipped slightly toward the window, eyes half-lidded beneath the faint wash of streetlights that crept through the windshield. the soft amber glow caught on the sharp lines of his profile—the slope of his nose, the cut of his jaw—illuminating him in fragments that felt too fleeting, like something slipping just out of reach.
the slow drag of his thumb across the leather beneath his palm was the only motion, tracing faint, absent-minded circles against the steering wheel. there was something deliberate about it, like he was grounding himself, tethering his thoughts to the sensation beneath his skin.
“everything okay?”
his voice slipped through the quiet, soft but clear enough to cut through the distant hum of laughter echoing from the house behind you. it wasn’t intrusive—barely louder than the rustle of leaves stirring in the night air—but there was something careful in the way he asked, like he’d been holding the question back until now.
you nodded once, quick and automatic, but the weight pressing against your shoulders told a different story. wonbin didn’t shift, but his gaze slid sideways, cutting through the thin space between you, lingering just long enough to steal the air from your lungs.
“you look good tonight.”
the words didn’t fall lightly. they weren’t tossed carelessly into the dark, the way gunil’s playful teasing had been, or wrapped in laughter the way yunjin’s voice had sounded when she zipped you into the dress hours earlier.
no—wonbin said it like it meant something, like it was a quiet truth that had pressed too long against the edge of his tongue and slipped free before he could stop it.
and just like that, the world inside the car shifted.
the compliment slipped beneath your skin, warm and unsettling, curling in the spaces you tried to keep untouched. you felt it settle low in your stomach, heavy and relentless, refusing to let go even as you glanced away, fixing your gaze on the house glowing faintly through the windshield.
but his eyes stayed. they lingered, pressing against your profile, unwavering in their weight. even as yunjin’s voice echoed from the front door, her bright laughter cutting through the night as she called for you to hurry inside, the heat of wonbin’s stare didn’t fade.
it lingered—burned—long after his gaze finally drifted away.
you followed the others toward the entrance, but the sound of wonbin’s footsteps trailing behind you felt louder than the music bleeding out from the house.
“now this is what i call a party,” gunil mused, the grin evident in his tone even as his back turned toward you.
the music throbbed low beneath your skin long before you even crossed the threshold, the bass a steady pulse that seemed to bleed through the walls and out into the night. the house was already alive, windows cracked open to let the heat spill out onto the damp street, but it did little to temper the weight pressing into your chest—the kind of heaviness that sat just beneath the surface, quiet but impossible to shake.
the house is alive with movement and sound, the heavy throb of bass reverberating through the floorboards, puling beneath your feet like a second heartbeat as laughter spills out in waves that stretch and ripple through the warm, hazy air.
 there’s a weight to it, something tangible in the press of bodies that slide past one another in the narrow hallways, something that clings to your skin like the faint, sticky sheen left behind by too much heat and too little space. the low hum of conversation ebbs and flows, mingling with the faint trace of smoke curling out from the back porch and the sweet, syrupy tang of alcohol that seems to settle on your tongue without warning, as if the air itself is thick with it.
hongjoong and gunil were the first to drift off, their footsteps already echoing toward the kitchen before the door had fully shut behind them. gunil’s laughter trailed after them, his arm still draped casually over hongjoong’s shoulder as if the two had done this a hundred times before. they slipped through the crowd with ease—comfortable, familiar—like the night belonged to them, stitched into their skin long before this moment.
yunjin and minjeong didn’t follow.
yunjin caught your wrist gently, keeping close as the current of bodies pushed past, her gaze flickering across the room before she leaned in, voice barely louder than a whisper. 
“we’re staying with you tonight. no vanishing acts.”
minjeong hummed her agreement beside you, arms crossed as she glanced toward the thick crowd gathering by the bar, unimpressed but unwavering. she didn’t need to say anything to confirm it—the weight of her presence at your side already spoke volumes.
wonbin lingered near the door, his hand brushing against the frame as he stepped inside, but his eyes were already on you. he didn’t move further, instead, his gaze shifted slowly, skimming over the crowded room as if he was searching for something—or maybe waiting.
the soft glow from the living room stretched across the sharp lines of his face, casting half of him in warm gold while shadows dipped beneath his jaw, the faint spill of light catching in his dark hair.
you felt the moment his attention flicked back toward you.
but yunjin’s arm looped through yours then, tugging you gently toward the living room. minjeong trailed just behind, a silent shadow at your side.
you didn’t look back, but you didn’t need to. wonbin saw the two of them anchored beside you—one glance, and his posture shifted, subtle but telling. his hand slipped from the doorway, and without a word, he disappeared into the crowd, the flicker of his presence folding into the blur of people before you could even exhale.
time blurred beneath the steady thrum of music, the house growing warmer with each passing hour as more bodies pressed into the narrow spaces, their laughter rising and falling in waves that seemed to crash against the walls. you stayed anchored near the edge of the room, where the lights didn’t quite reach, the condensation from your untouched glass pooling against your palm, forgotten.
yunjin’s arm looped comfortably around your shoulder, her weight pressing lightly into your side, while minjeong leaned against the wall next to you, arms crossed and gaze sharp as ever. they had barely left your side, brushing off invitations and whispered suggestions with casual ease, their presence unwavering like a pair of quiet sentinels.
you tried to appreciate it—tried to let the comfort of their loyalty settle somewhere beneath the ache still blooming in your chest—but the guilt curled in anyway, creeping up your throat as the night stretched on.
“you guys don’t have to hover, you know,” you said, forcing a faint smile that felt thin even as you tried to keep your tone light. 
“i’m not going to combust if you leave me alone for five minutes.”
yunjin’s eyes flicked toward you, her head tilting slightly in mock consideration. 
“no, but you might slip out the back door if we’re not paying attention. remember that thing you do?”
minjeong snorted softly, barely concealing her amusement.
“i swear i’m fine.” you laughed under your breath, nudging yunjin’s arm with your elbow. 
“seriously. go have fun. those two guys haven’t stopped staring at you since we got here.”
yunjin glanced toward the dancefloor, where two boys stood awkwardly pretending not to be watching your group, their heads dipping closer to each other every time yunjin looked in their direction.
“not really my type,” yunjin mused, but her gaze lingered a second longer than necessary.
“mine neither,” minjeong added, though the flicker of curiosity in her expression didn’t quite match her words.
you shook your head, rolling your eyes playfully. 
“okay, maybe not, but you can still dance with them for a bit. go. i’ll be right here when you get back.”
yunjin hesitated, her fingers tightening slightly around your shoulder, but minjeong was already tugging at her wrist, urging her toward the floor.
“we’ll be close,” yunjin relented, but the teasing edge to her voice had softened, and she gave your arm one last squeeze before letting go.
you tilt the glass loosely in your hand, watching the way the condensation pools along the edges before slipping down your fingers in slow, deliberate rivulets, the coolness of it sharp against your palm, grounding you in a way that feels fleeting at best. 
the drink sits half-forgotten between sips that burn just enough to keep you anchored, but not nearly enough to dull the ache that coils deeper with every passing second spent in this room, in this house, in this night that stretches endlessly ahead of you.
this was supposed to be enough.
you told yourself the music would drown it out, that the drinks yunjin kept sliding into your hand would blur the sharp ache sitting just beneath your ribs. that if you stayed in motion, if you stayed laughing and moving and tilting your head just right when someone leaned in a little too close, it would feel like the version of yourself you tried so hard to convince everyone you were.
but it doesn’t. nothing about this night fills the hollow space curling tighter inside you.
not the taste of liquor that lingers too long on your tongue, nor the glittering haze of strangers’ smiles catching faintly in the flicker of the lights overhead.
your focus drifts, unraveling itself from the music and the crowd until it finds him, as it always does.
wonbin stood at the far end of the bar, the faint glow of low-hanging lights casting him in soft, uneven shadows that stretched long across the counter’s edge. he leaned against it with the kind of ease that looked practiced but never forced, like the moment bent itself around him, settling to fit the sharp cut of his frame as if he’d always belonged there. one hand rested loosely along the curve of the counter, fingertips tracing faint circles against the glassy surface, while the other curled around the neck of a drink he hadn’t touched in what felt like forever.
it was the posture—that posture—that made it impossible to look away.
relaxed but deliberate, as if even the smallest shift of his weight could ripple through the room unnoticed but not unfelt. there was something magnetic in the quiet stillness of him, something that tugged at the edges of your awareness, making the noise around him feel like static.
his hair—still damp from the heat inside—fell across his forehead in careless strands, sticking just enough to hint at the lingering warmth beneath his skin. the collar of his shirt dipped low, the fabric loose where it sloped along his collarbone, revealing the faintest sliver of skin that seemed to catch the light in a way that made it impossible not to stare. the shadows chased the curve of his throat, dark where the soft dip met his chest, and you hated the way your gaze lingered there—drawn to the movement of his hand as it flexed gently against the glass.
he hadn’t even taken a sip, and yet, he seemed perfectly content to let the moment pass him by, standing there like the night revolved around him—like he could shape the room without lifting a finger.
there were girls—there always were—hovering just close enough to brush against him, their eyes bright, shoulders angled inward as if pulled by the steady gravity that followed wherever he went. one leaned in closer than the others, her arm barely grazing his as she tipped her head to say something, the soft lilt of her voice swallowed by the music but somehow still there, threading through the low hum of the bar like the faintest echo of something familiar.
you told yourself not to look. not to watch the way her fingertips skimmed along the inside of his wrist, lingering longer than they needed to, or how his head dipped just slightly—just enough to catch the words she pressed into the space between them.
but your gaze betrayed you, it always did. and the worst part?it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.
you’ve told yourself that a hundred times before, whispered it like a quiet mantra beneath your breath on nights just like this one, nights when the room feels too small and the space between you stretches impossibly wide, no matter how near he stands. but the truth is, it does matter—more than it should, more than you’ll ever let him see, and the realization of it settles deep in your chest, heavy and unrelenting as you swallow another mouthful of liquor that does nothing to soften the edges.
the music shifted, the tempo rising like the pulse of something urgent, threading through the thick air in heavy waves. for a fleeting second, you thought about leaving—letting the crowd pull you under, dissolving into the blur of bodies where faces became indistinct and the weight of your thoughts might slip away beneath the noise.
the idea curled at the edge of your mind, tempting in its simplicity, and your feet hesitated, the first step backward already sinking into the crowded floor. but before you could disappear into the current of people, his eyes lifted—like they had been waiting for yours to follow.
the connection is immediate, electric in a way that catches you off guard, locking you in place as the noise and the heat and the blur of the party around you fades into something distant, something small and irrelevant beneath the weight of his gaze.
there’s nothing hurried in the way he looks at you, his attention trailing slowly from the slope of your shoulder down to the dip of your collarbone, lingering there for just a second too long before sliding lower to trace the curve of your waist beneath the silk that clings faintly to your skin, each movement deliberate and measured, as if he’s committing the shape of you to memory in a way that feels far too intimate for a crowded room.
your breath catches, heart stuttering painfully beneath the pressure of his stare, and even as the weight of it pulls tighter around your chest, you hold it, unable to move, unwilling to look away as something unfamiliar and unsettling flares quietly in the narrow space between you.
but it doesn’t last.
and then it broke.
the shift was subtle but absolute, the moment fracturing as one of the girls beside him leaned in, her fingers curling softly around his wrist. whatever she whispered barely stirred the air, but it reached him, tugging at his focus until his gaze slipped from yours—falling away like the last flicker of a dying ember.
cold washed over you in its absence.
it’s almost laughable, the way your chest aches in his absence, as if he’d been standing beside you rather than across the room, but the feeling remains, gnawing steadily beneath the surface even as you lift your glass and down what’s left of it in one long, desperate swallow.
yunjin’s gaze flicked toward you, cutting through the blur of the crowd with the kind of precision that made it impossible to pretend you hadn’t been caught. her eyes, warm but sharp, searched yours as if peeling back the thin veneer you had tried to layer over your expression.
you felt the weight of her unspoken question—the slight tilt of her head, the pause in the way her hands moved as she danced—like she was already preparing to step away, to make her way back to your side the moment you needed her to.
but you wouldn’t let her, not tonight.
you forced a smile, light and easy, lifting your glass just high enough for her to see, as if the gesture alone could convince her. it barely touched your eyes, the strain tugging faintly at the corners of your mouth, but you held it there anyway, willing it to settle long enough for her to believe it.
yunjin’s gaze lingered, doubt flickering behind the soft glow of party lights, but after a moment, she nodded, her attention shifting back to the boy in front of her—the one who hadn’t stopped trying to make her laugh since the music started.
her laugh rang out a second later, bright and careless as she twirled beneath his arm, and relief washed over you in slow, cooling waves. you wanted that for her—for all of them.
even if you couldn’t quite reach for it yourself.
you let the smile drop the second her back was turned, the faint ache pressing back into place, familiar as the pulse that thrummed low beneath the music.
and even as you try to follow her lead, try to let the music and the drinks and the night pull you back into the moment, your attention drifts, seeking him out once more, as it always does.
because no matter how much you tell yourself to stop, no matter how much you try to bury the feeling that festers low and bitter in your chest, you know the truth of it. it’s always him and it always will be.
the bass seemed to sink beneath your skin, rattling through your bones in slow, pulsing waves, each throb heavier than the last as it settled low in your chest. the music wasn’t just sound anymore—it was weight, pressing against your senses until the edges of the room began to blur, the faint hum of overlapping voices weaving together into something indistinct, hollow, and distant. 
the warmth from the alcohol you’d downed earlier lingered in the back of your throat, burning faintly as it mixed with the stagnant air thick with perfume, sweat, and the sharp bite of something metallic that curled at the edges of your tongue. you blinked against the haze, but it didn’t help, the dim lights scattering in soft halos across the glossy floor beneath your feet, and for a moment, the entire club felt like it was spinning in slow motion—tilting just slightly off its axis. 
someone brushed past you, their laughter loud and sharp in your ear, but it dissolved as quickly as it came, melting back into the crowd that swayed and pulsed in time with the relentless beat. the room felt too small, too close, the bodies pressing in around you until your breath came shallow and uneven, and suddenly the need to escape was undeniable, coiling tight beneath your ribs until it was all you could focus on.
your grip tightened briefly around the edge of the table, fingertips sliding against the slick surface as you steadied yourself, but even the contact felt fleeting—like you weren’t fully anchored in the moment. the room was shifting around you, or maybe it was just the alcohol catching up, burning low and slow beneath your skin, trailing through your veins in a way that made the lights smear at the edges. 
the crowd stretched out ahead of you, bodies tangled together in clusters that swayed lazily with the rhythm, and for a moment, the space between the exit and where you stood felt impossible to cross. the music pressed down harder, vibrating through the soles of your boots, each beat crawling up your legs and settling uneasily beneath your ribs. your heart thudded in sync with the bass, every pulse a sharp reminder of the weight you couldn’t shake.
you started moving without fully realizing it, your body threading instinctively between the groups that filled the room. each step felt too quick and too slow all at once, the ache in your chest urging you forward, while the drag of the alcohol in your bloodstream blurred everything else, dulling your senses. the faces around you drifted past in streaks of warm skin and glittering eyes, laughter blooming somewhere to your right, but the sounds were muted—faint echoes that faded the further you pushed through the crowd.
the air thickened the closer you got to the staircase, curling against the back of your neck, hot and stifling, until the ache sitting low in your chest unfurled into something sharper—more desperate. the throb of the music swelled, loud enough to rattle through your teeth, and by the time you reached the edge of the room, it felt like the floor itself was vibrating beneath your feet, threatening to pull you under if you stopped for even a second.
the stairway stretched upward in front of you, narrow and half-lit, the kind of forgotten corner of the house that felt colder—untouched by the heat and pulse of the party below. each step creaked faintly beneath your weight, the sound swallowed quickly by the bass that still throbbed through the floor, echoing distantly in your chest like an unwanted second heartbeat. 
the further you climbed, the heavier the air seemed to grow, thick with the lingering scent of alcohol and something sharper—regret, maybe, or the remnants of disappointment clinging stubbornly beneath your skin.
it wasn’t just the crowd pressing too close or the warmth prickling along the nape of your neck that drove you here.  was the way wonbin hadn’t looked at you—*not really.* the brief flicker of his gaze had slipped past you too easily, and the hollow ache it left behind had settled deep, curling into a shape you couldn’t shake.
climbing the stairs felt like trying to outrun it, though you knew you wouldn’t. still, the slow burn of each step beneath your feet offered something—distance, if nothing else. distance from the music, the stifling heat, the soft edges of laughter curling out of mouths that weren’t yours.   
the hallway was hushed, the faint thrum of music filtering up through the floorboards like a distant storm, softened by layers of wood and space. the air felt sharper here, cooler against the back of your neck, slipping beneath the collar of your shirt in a way that made your skin prickle.
it was a relief—a stark contrast to the heavy, suffocating warmth that lingered downstairs, where bodies pressed too close and the weight of Wonbin’s absence felt louder than the music itself. one of the doors stood slightly ajar, pale light spilling out in a thin, uneven line across the hallway, and without thinking, you slipped inside. 
the room was small and sparse, walls bare except for faint smudges where posters once hung, the faintest scent of something sweet—cigarette smoke, maybe, or someone’s forgotten perfume—still hanging in the air. you leaned back against the door until it clicked shut, the latch settling quietly, and for a long moment, you simply stood there, the cold seeping in through the soles of your shoes. 
eventually, the weight in your chest pulled you down, and you slid carefully to the floor, knees bent loosely in front of you as your shoulder pressed into the wall’s smooth surface. the floor was cool against your thigh, grounding you in a way the alcohol couldn’t, and the pressure of your head tipping back against the wall felt like the only thing holding you together—fragile, maybe, but steady.
his name felt like an echo that refused to quiet, reverberating through the hollow spaces inside you, filling the cracks you hadn’t realized were there until he slipped between them. it didn’t matter how much you tried to push him out—the memory of him was woven too tightly into the fabric of your thoughts, unraveling only when the night stretched long and sleepless.
you hated how easily he occupied the quiet, how the shape of him still pressed against the edges of your consciousness even now, as if the ghost of his touch lingered beneath your skin. wonbin had always been like that—effortless. the way he moved, the way he laughed, the way his eyes softened in fleeting moments that weren’t meant for you but still burned when they landed there.
even after he’d left you splintered, after his gaze had flickered past yours like you weren’t worth lingering on, some part of you remained tethered to him, as if your heart hadn’t gotten the message that it no longer belonged to you. It ached in the worst ways—quietly, but persistently, like a dull bruise beneath the surface. 
you told yourself it wasn’t love, but that felt like a lie too fragile to hold. whatever it was, it kept you restless, fingers curled into the sheets at night, wide-eyed beneath the ceiling, counting the faint shadows cast by distant headlights that slipped through the blinds. the weight of it pressed into your ribs, deep and aching, refusing to be ignored, and even now, in the stillness of this room, he lingered—always lingering.
you’d told yourself a hundred times that he was never yours to begin with, but somehow the words never felt true enough to settle. they sat heavy and sharp on your tongue, cutting deeper each time you whispered them beneath your breath, but they never bled the ache from your chest. 
the truth was colder than you expected, more merciless in the way it wrapped around you at night, curling tight until it became something you couldn’t shake. he had always belonged to everyone—his smiles, his laughter, the fleeting glances that seemed to rest on strangers more easily than they ever landed on you. 
and yet, there had been moments, soft and fleeting, that felt like they were carved out for you alone. the way his eyes lingered just a little too long during late-night rehearsals, or the gentle brush of his hand against your arm as he passed by—small, thoughtless things that shouldn’t have mattered but stayed with you long after they happened. you tried to convince yourself it was imagined, something you stitched together in the dark corners of your mind when sleep wouldn’t come, but it didn’t make the ache any easier to bear. 
accepting that he would never be yours felt less like letting go and more like tearing something vital from the hollow beneath your ribs, leaving behind only empty space and the echoes of what could have been.
you barely registered the creak of the door over the hum in your head, too lost in the tangle of your own thoughts to notice the subtle shift in the air. the weight in your chest had grown familiar by now, wrapping around you like second skin, and the idea of him was as constant as your breath—so much so that when you sensed him, it felt like just another manifestation of the way he lingered behind your eyelids when you closed your eyes. 
you didn’t look up, unwilling to break the fragile thread of distance you were clinging to, even if it was only in your mind. but then the faint scent of him swept in, heady and unmistakable—the sharp bite of leather softened by something warmer, something that made your stomach twist in ways you wished it wouldn’t. it settled around you slowly, wrapping itself into the cracks like it had every right to be there, and for a moment you thought maybe you were imagining it.
but then the air shifted again, and you felt it—the briefest brush of his sleeve grazing against your arm, the supple texture of worn leather skimming over your skin like a phantom touch that lingered long after it passed. the heat of him followed, subtle but undeniable, radiating outward in soft waves that melted into the space between you until the room felt smaller, more intimate in a way that made your pulse stutter unevenly beneath your ribs. 
your eyes flickered open, slow and hesitant, and there he was—real. wonbin had slipped into the room quietly, his figure half-shadowed by the faint glow of the hallway behind him, but even in the dim light, there was no mistaking the way he filled the space. he didn’t say anything, not right away, but the weight of his presence alone was enough to unravel the careful threads you’d tried to pull around yourself, leaving you exposed beneath the quiet intensity of his gaze.
the silence between you felt fragile, stretched so thin that you swore he could hear the erratic stutter of your heart as it climbed higher into your throat. each beat seemed louder than the last, pounding relentlessly beneath your ribs, and you hated how impossible it was to quiet the tremble lingering just beneath your skin. 
wonbin hadn’t moved, but the space between you felt smaller with every second that passed, his proximity dissolving the delicate barrier you were clinging to. he was close enough now that you could make out the faint scattering of beauty marks that traced a path along his neck, each one as familiar as the chords of a song you’d memorized by heart. 
your gaze lingered there longer than it should have, following the subtle curve of his throat to where his collar dipped slightly, exposing just enough skin to remind you how many times you’d pretended not to notice. his hair had grown since the last time you were this close, strands falling in soft waves just past the nape of his neck, curling slightly at the ends in a way that made your stomach twist. 
it was such a small detail, but it ached—the memory of the last time you’d been beside him like this unraveling in your mind without permission. you remembered the heat first.
the way it pooled low in your stomach, twisting tighter with every soft press of his lips against your skin, with every inch of space he closed between you until his weight pressed fully into you, warm and grounding. the air had thickened, heavy and languid, settling between each breath like honey—stretching time, making every second feel slower, sweeter, as if the night itself didn’t want to end.
his touch wasn’t hurried.
it lingered—each drag of his palm along your waist deliberate, like he was memorizing the curve of you beneath his hands, mapping the distance between your ribs and the dip of your hip with reverent care. his fingers curled against the small of your back, tugging you just a little closer, until you could feel every shift of his body, the subtle ripple of muscle beneath smooth skin as he moved.
and god, the way he looked at you.
dark eyes half-lidded, heavy with something that felt almost fragile in its intensity, like he wasn’t quite sure if he should hold you tighter or let go before he lost himself completely.
the weight of it all tugged at something sensitive beneath your ribs, sharp and tender in the same breath, and before it could spiral further, you forced your eyes away, grounding yourself in the faint cracks along the floorboards instead. The ache dulled, but it didn’t disappear, settling into a quiet hum that you tried to ignore as the seconds stretched on.
the silence continued to stretch unbearably thin, so fragile you thought even the sound of your breath might shatter it. his presence filled the room so effortlessly, as if he belonged there, while you sat pressed against the wall, arms wrapped loosely around your knees in a dress that suddenly felt too thin for how exposed you felt beneath his gaze. 
the weight of it lingered, dragging over your skin like static, and before you could stop yourself, the question slipped out—soft but edged with something you couldn’t quite name.
“what are you doing here?”
your voice felt small in the stillness, cracking slightly at the edges, but he caught it anyway. wonbin’s head tilted just slightly, dark hair falling messily into his eyes, but he didn’t answer right away. instead, his gaze traced the soft curve of your shoulder, dipping lower to where the thin fabric of your dress stretched delicately over your knee. 
his eyes lingered there—too long. it sent a flicker of heat curling under your skin, the air between you growing heavier, suffocating in the worst way.
“thought you might need some company,” he said at last, his voice low but light, like he hadn’t just unraveled something fragile inside you.
the corner of his mouth lifted, almost teasing, but it didn’t meet his eyes.
he shifted closer then, slow and deliberate, until his thigh rested faintly against yours, the leather of his jacket brushing against the bare skin of your arm. the touch burned—not enough to hurt, but just enough to stay. you couldn’t ignore the heat radiating off him, seeping through the space between you, making the thin straps of your dress feel insignificant.
you swallowed hard, but it did nothing to loosen the ache curling deep in your chest.
“i’m sure those girls downstairs won’t be too happy you left them behind,” you muttered, forcing your gaze down to the floor, watching the way the shadows stretched long beneath the soft pool of light overhead.
his chuckle was soft, breathy—almost like he wasn’t supposed to let it slip.
“they’ll survive,” he said casually, but the weight in his voice was anything but.
you could feel him watching you, the intensity of his stare drawing heat to your cheeks, and the longer you sat there, the more suffocating the quiet became. his shoulder grazed yours once more, subtle but intentional, and the faint pressure of it sent a shiver down your spine, your body betraying you in ways you wished it wouldn’t.
the worst part was that he didn’t even have to try.
wonbin existed in a way that made the space around him feel smaller, tighter—like he could pull someone in without even meaning to, and you hated how easily you slipped under that gravity. even now, with him sitting just inches away, you felt like you were falling all over again, even though you swore you’d stopped letting yourself trip over him a long time ago.
but here you were.
and there he was—close enough to touch.
you kept your gaze trained somewhere near the floor, fixated on the shadows stretching beneath the doorframe, but it did little to steady the fragile rhythm of your breath. the warmth radiating off wonbin, so close yet still untouchable, felt like it could unravel you if you weren’t careful. 
you could already feel it—the delicate thread of composure fraying at the edges, pulled tighter by the way his thigh rested just against yours, the soft brush of his jacket sleeve lingering faintly on your arm like an imprint you wouldn’t be able to shake. you told yourself not to look at him, not to indulge the ache curling low in your stomach, but your body betrayed you.
before you could stop it, your eyes lifted—drawn to him like the ocean dragged toward the shore, inevitable and unrelenting.
he was beautiful in the most dangerous way, and you hated how easily the thought slipped into your mind, settling there like it belonged. the faint glow of the light softened the edges of him, pooling along the curve of his jaw and catching faintly on the strands of hair that brushed past his eyes, longer than you remembered.
his lips, slightly parted in the kind of breathless stillness that felt unintentional, twisted faintly into something that wasn’t quite a smile but held the same weight. the soft dip in his collarbone was visible just beneath the open neckline of his shirt, and you caught yourself lingering too long there, following the path down to where his arm rested loosely against his knee, his fingers tapping thoughtlessly at his jeans. 
every small movement felt amplified in the silence, each rise and fall of his chest leaving you breathless in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol burning low in your veins.
he hadn’t said a word, but he didn’t need to. the flicker of his gaze—the way his eyes slid just slightly toward you without fully turning his head—was enough to confirm what you already knew.
he felt it. he knew you were staring, drinking him in piece by piece as if you could commit him to memory, as if looking at him long enough would soften the hollow ache sitting low in your chest. but he said nothing, and somehow, that made it worse.
your throat tightened, heat crawling up the back of your neck until you had to look away, forcing your gaze back down to the floor as if grounding yourself to something steady might keep you from unraveling entirely, but it was too late.
wonbin had always known how to linger in the spaces between, how to slip beneath your skin without trying—and even now, even in the heavy quiet of that room, he was everywhere.
his voice cut through the stillness, soft but steady, curling around you in the quiet like he’d been waiting for the right moment to speak. 
“everything’s good with us, right?"
the words felt too careful, too deliberate to be anything but intentional, and for a fleeting second, you forgot how to breathe. your heart lurched, betraying you in the worst way—loud and erratic, hammering against your ribcage with a force you were sure he could hear in the silence that followed.
his eyes remained fixed ahead, but the weight of his question hung between you like a thread pulled too tight, stretched to the point of snapping. you wanted to say something, to let the answer slip from your lips in a way that felt casual, indifferent—yes, of course, why wouldn’t it be?
but the words caught somewhere deep in your throat, tangling with the mess of thoughts you’d been desperately trying to ignore all night. had you been too obvious? had your eyes lingered too long, or had the silence stretched a little too thin, leaving just enough space for him to notice the way you’d withdrawn without meaning to?
you forced yourself to stay still, afraid that even the slightest shift might betray the storm unraveling beneath your skin. his gaze flickered sideways, catching the faintest movement in the corner of his eye, and your body tensed instinctively under his attention.
the moment stretched endlessly, the pulse in your neck thrumming painfully as you tried to gather your composure, but your heart wouldn’t cooperate. it never did when it came to him.
wonbin shifted slightly, the movement soft but deliberate, like he was giving you space to speak. when you didn’t—when the silence held firm between you—he exhaled quietly, his gaze dropping to where his hands rested loosely on his lap.
“i just mean… you feel far away lately. like you’re here but not really present.”
his voice dipped softer, low enough that it barely cut through the faint thrum of music bleeding from downstairs. the kind of softness that didn’t belong to him—like he wasn’t used to carrying words that fragile, as if he wasn’t sure how they’d land but couldn’t bring himself to swallow them.
his eyes lingered on you, dark and steady, searching for something he wasn’t even sure he’d recognize if he found it. there was a quiet weight there, the kind that settled in the spaces between what was said and what wasn’t, stretching taut between the inches of air keeping you apart.
his fingers twitched absently against the zipper of his jacket, tugging it up halfway only to drag it back down again, the faint metallic rasp echoing louder than it should have in the heavy silence that had started to press in around you both.
the way he fidgeted—restless and distracted—felt out of place, a subtle unraveling at the edges of someone who was always so composed, so maddeningly effortless in everything he did.
“you’ve been slipping away.”
the words came quieter, like they almost weren’t meant to be said aloud, but once they were, there was no pulling them back. his gaze never wavered, pinning you in place as if daring you to deny it. there was no accusation in his voice—just something heavier, something that sat low in his chest, threaded through the spaces between each word.
“i see it even when you think i don’t.”
his brows knitted together, barely, as if the distance between you was something tangible, something he’d been measuring long before this moment. when his gaze dipped, it wasn’t aimless—it followed the worn path of your footsteps, tracking every inch of space you put between him and the truth you refused to say aloud, before finally settling back on you, sharp and searching..
and for the first time in a long time, he looked… bothered. like the distance between you had started to gnaw at him too. like maybe, just maybe, he felt it too.
the words pressed into your chest, sinking deep, and for a brief second, you wished he’d left them unsaid he always had a way of noticing the things you thought you hid well, and somehow, it made the walls you’d tried to build feel thinner, like he could see right through the cracks you’d been so careful to ignore. 
his eyes lifted then, searching yours for something you weren’t sure you could give, and you felt it again—that unbearable heat creeping up the back of your neck, curling under your skin until you had to grip the hem of your dress just to keep your hands from trembling.
you could feel him watching you, waiting for some kind of reassurance, but the words sat heavy in your throat, unwilling to rise.because what were you supposed to say to that?
that he was the reason you felt far away? that you were retreating not because you wanted to, but because staying too close—letting him see too much—hurt more than you knew how to explain?
you swallowed, forcing the breath caught in your throat to steady itself before it could betray you. 
"i’m fine," you said, and somehow, the words slipped out smoother than you expected—so smooth they almost felt real. 
your voice didn’t crack, didn’t waver, but it sat uncomfortably in the air, stretched thin like a wire ready to snap
“i’s just the tour. long nights, long drives… it’s catching up to me, i guess." you tacked the last part on casually, adding a faint shrug for good measure, hoping the ease in your posture would sell the lie well enough to make him stop looking at you like that.
but he didn’t. wonbin’s eyes narrowed slightly, just enough for the weight of his gaze to press heavier against your skin, and you felt the shift before he even spoke.
"that’s not it," he said simply. there was no hesitation, no room for you to slip through the cracks of false reassurance. 
“you’ve been different since… that night."
the words hung in the air, suspended like smoke, curling between you until it felt like they left shadows against the walls. you wished he hadn’t said it, hadn’t pulled the memory from where you buried it because now it was here again, sitting just between your ribs, burning slow and steady like it never really left.
you stiffened involuntarily, your fingers tightening around the fabric of your dress as you glanced down at the floor. 
“i don’t know what you mean.”
you meant for it to sound light, dismissive, but the words landed wrong—strained and thin, like they didn’t quite fit into the space they were meant to fill.
“yeah, you do.”
his voice wasn’t confrontational, but firm.
“it was just a night, wonbin. it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
wonbin leaned forward slightly, enough that his knee brushed against yours, and the faint press of it left your pulse stumbling over itself. his eyes searched yours, flickering with something unreadable—something quiet, but not distant.
"you didn’t hate it, did you?"
the question lanced through you, cutting clean and sharp, and for a second, you felt like the breath had been stolen from your lungs. your fingers curled tighter against the hem of your dress, twisting the fabric slowly between your knuckles as if that might somehow keep the frustration bubbling beneath your skin from rising to the surface. 
how could he not see it? the thought pulsed, loud and sharp in your chest, echoing in the spaces he left bare with his questions. was it really that impossible for him to imagine the truth? that the weight sitting between you wasn’t regret, wasn’t confusion, but something far worse—something you’d been carrying alone for far too long.
you shook your head, slow and deliberate, eyes fixed on the faint cracks spidering along the floorboards, unwilling to meet the gaze burning quietly into the side of your face. you didn’t trust yourself to speak.
wonbin exhaled softly, the sound barely more than a breath, but the subtle shift in his posture was unmistakable. his shoulders relaxed, the tension unwinding from where it had been coiled, and for a fleeting second, his relief settled over the room like the soft hum of static.
it felt like a weight pressing deeper into your chest.
"so… what is it then?"
the question sliced through the stillness, pulling you apart in ways you didn’t expect.
there was no teasing lilt in his voice this time, no quiet smugness lingering at the corners of his mouth. he wasn’t brushing it off, wasn’t laughing or letting the moment slip through his fingers the way you thought he would.
he was waiting, and that made everything worse.
"i won’t push," he said finally, his voice dipping low, rough at the edges but laced with something gentler. "but… i’m here, you know? if you ever feel like talking."
the words settled heavily over you, pressing into the ache sitting just beneath your ribs, and for a second, it felt like the air in the room had grown thicker—almost too much to swallow. you nodded faintly, the motion small and fragile, but even that felt unsteady beneath the weight curling in your chest.
a hum slipped from your throat, soft but strangled, and you hated the way it felt—how it barely held together when the edges of your composure were already splintering. your fingers tightened against the thin fabric of your dress, nails biting faintly into your palm as if the sharpness might keep the burning behind your eyes from spilling over.
you forced it back—swallowed it down—until the ache dulled into something manageable, something small enough to keep hidden just beneath the surface.
wonbin didn’t look at you after that. he let the silence linger, stretching wide enough to give you space to gather yourself, and somehow that made it both easier and harder all at once.
the silence between you didn’t dissolve; it thickened, coiling tightly in the narrow space that separated you—if it could even be called that. his knee still brushed faintly against yours, a point of contact so small it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. 
it felt like everything. 
the warmth radiating from him seeped beneath your skin, clouding your thoughts, tangling them into a haze that made it hard to remember how to breathe it was overwhelming—the way your pulse tripped over itself, the way the air felt too hot despite the coolness pressing through the wall at your back. and then he looked at you.
not in passing, not like before. this time, his eyes dipped low, slow and deliberate, dragging over the shape of your shoulders, the soft curve of your collarbone, before resting somewhere just below your chin.
his gaze lingered, dark and steady, tracing the delicate slope of your collarbone and the faint rise and fall of your chest as if committing each subtle detail to memory.
“you look pretty.”
the words slipped out quietly, but they landed like stones, rippling through the space between you, heavy in a way that felt irreversible.
it wasn’t the first time he’d said it. you remembered the low murmur of those same words in the soft, dim light of his car—the way his hand brushed the steering wheel as if the compliment had been an afterthought, something so simple yet lingering long after the moment passed. but even then, there had been sincerity tucked beneath the calm curve of his voice, no trace of jest or casual charm.
and now—now it was different.
his voice carried the weight of something that had been pressing at the edges of him for too long, something unspoken that finally bled through before he could stop it. the words tumbled out like he’d been holding them back, and there was no disguising the way they sat, raw and unpolished, between the two of you.
he wasn’t teasing. there was no faint curl of his lips to soften the blow. just the faintest flicker of hesitation in his eyes, the briefest pause that felt too fragile, too intimate, like even he hadn’t meant to let it slip.
your breath caught, shallow and uneven, and you felt it—the shift in the air, the slow unraveling of the fragile thread you’d been clinging to since the night began.
his eyes hadn’t left yours, hadn’t strayed from the subtle tremor in your hands as they twisted absently against the hem of your dress, the silk wrinkling beneath your fingertips in a way you couldn’t stop.
you wanted to speak, to downplay it, to offer something light that might untangle the knot tightening low in your stomach, but the words wouldn’t come. and he just kept watching, his gaze unwavering, like he was daring you to look away first.
his gaze dipped lower, lingering at the curve of your mouth, and the breath you’d been holding slipped out too sharply, catching in your throat. the words you wanted to say—the easy, dismissive ones that would push him away and smooth over the crackling tension—froze somewhere between your chest and your tongue, heavy and unmoving. His eyes stayed there, dark and unreadable, following the slow press of your teeth as they sank into your lower lip, and for a fleeting second, you thought he might say something—might do something to ease the tension.
but he didn’t.
the air between you felt electric, like a wire pulled too tight, thrumming with an energy that could snap at the slightest movement. you knew you should look away, should peel yourself from the wall and put distance between you, but you couldn’t. your body wouldn’t cooperate, no matter how hard you willed it to listen and his proximity rooted you in place, the heat radiating off him felt like it was soaking into your skin, holding you there.
you swallowed thickly, heart rattling against your ribs, and before the moment could spiral further, you tore your gaze away, dropping your eyes to the floor as if the sight of scuffed floorboards could cool the warmth burning its way beneath your skin. your fingers twitched faintly at your sides, brushing against the soft fabric of your dress, and you bit down harder on your lip, the faint sting grounding you—reminding you.
you can’t do this.
you told yourself to leave—you knew you should. the thought rang loud and clear, rattling through your head with every agonizing second that passed, but your body betrayed you, anchored stubbornly to the spot as if your limbs no longer belonged to you. every inhale felt heavier, weighted down by the intoxicating pull of him, and no matter how fiercely you urged yourself to step back, the space between you felt impossible to cross.
you could already see it—the disappointment written plainly across yunjin’s face, the way her eyes would narrow knowingly, sharp but sympathetic as if she’d been waiting for this moment. minjeong wouldn’t say anything, but you could hear her sigh in your head, that quiet exhale that spoke louder than words, echoing with disapproval she wouldn’t bother to voice.
they were right, you knew they were right.
but it didn’t matter. not now—not when wonbin was this close, his presence consuming every inch of the space around you until it felt like there was nothing left but him. his warmth melted into yours, heady and overwhelming, drowning out the faint hum of music bleeding through the walls, drowning out the echo of reason whispering at the back of your mind.
your pulse betrayed you, thundering beneath your skin in frantic bursts, and you hated how easily he unraveled the parts of you you’d worked so hard to protect. it was overpowering—he was overpowering, and the sheer force of him kept you frozen in place, as if stepping away would only pull you deeper beneath his gravity.
wonbin hadn’t moved, hadn’t said a word, but somehow that made everything worse. the absence of distance between you pulsed like a live wire, charged and dangerous, and no matter how hard you tried to focus on anything else—on the scuffed floorboards, on the faint draft creeping in from under the door—your eyes still gravitated back to him, helpless against the current that pulled you under.
the moment unraveled in slow motion, the weight of the silence folding in on itself until there was nothing left to hold it back. wonbin’s eyes flickered down—barely, but enough for you to feel the shift in the air, thick and electric, like the seconds before a storm breaks. your breath caught, lodging somewhere between your chest and throat, but you didn’t pull away. 
you couldn’t.
his gaze lingered there, heavy and deliberate, tracing the soft curve of your mouth with an intensity that sent heat rushing to the tips of your fingers.
and then he leaned in.
it wasn’t sudden—not really. his movements were slow, careful, as if giving you space to slip away, to stop this before it crossed the line you’d danced around for so long but you didn’t. you stayed.
and when his lips finally brushed against yours, it was like something inside you cracked open.
the kiss wasn’t soft—it was fire, burning hot and immediate, pouring out of him in a way that stole the breath from your lungs, akin to that night. his hand slid along the side of your neck, fingertips grazing the line of your jaw as if to anchor you there, and you melted beneath it, pressing closer until the space between you no longer existed. his other hand curled loosely at your waist, the warmth of his palm seeping through the thin fabric of your dress, and the sensation made your skin ignite, trembling beneath his touch.
your fingers found the collar of his jacket, clutching at the leather like it might steady you, but nothing felt stable—not with the way his lips moved against yours, slow at first, teasing, before deepening with a hunger that left you dizzy. every brush, every tilt of his head felt deliberate, as if he’d been holding back for far too long, and now there was no reason to.
the kiss twisted something inside you—tight, aching, and impossible to ignore.
your heart raced, thrumming wildly in your chest, but none of it felt overwhelming. if anything, it felt right, as if this was the only way the night could’ve ended, as if every glance, every touch, had been building to this moment, to the way his hands mapped out the curve of your back, pulling you further beneath the weight of him.
and for once, you let it.
you let him drown out the thoughts, the voices, the lingering regret that whispered too loudly in the quiet, because right now, there was only him and that was enough.
the kiss deepened, unraveling slowly but with an urgency that set your skin alight, each brush of his lips coaxing you further under. there was something reckless about the way he kissed you—like he wasn’t thinking, wasn’t holding anything back, and you matched him without hesitation, your body arching instinctively into the pull of him. 
his hand splayed wider against your waist, fingers curling slightly as if to draw you impossibly closer, and the pressure sent a rush of heat spiraling down your spine. every point of contact felt amplified—the firm press of his thigh against yours, the way his thumb traced faint circles along your jaw, tilting your face just enough to deepen the connection.
the world outside of this room—the party still thumping below, the haze of alcohol humming faintly in your veins—faded into nothing, drowned out by the slow drag of his mouth against yours. it was intoxicating, the way he kissed you—like he wasn’t just taking his time but memorizing every second of it, and it left you breathless, every part of you humming beneath his touch.
your fingers tightened in the collar of his jacket, nails grazing the cool leather as if anchoring yourself there might keep you steady, but there was no steadiness to be found. the kiss was all-consuming, and you found yourself chasing it, letting him tilt your chin higher as his lips parted slightly, teasing the line between too much and not enough.
a soft, involuntary sound slipped from your throat, and you felt him smile faintly against your mouth, the curve of it somehow making everything worse—because he knew. he knew exactly what he was doing to you, but you didn’t stop him.
his teeth grazed your lower lip, tugging just enough to send a shiver through you, and the low, quiet exhale that followed only fueled the fire blooming steadily in your chest. his touch, light but sure, traced the dip of your spine, fingers ghosting over the thin straps of your dress, and the sheer intimacy of it made your breath hitch, your body pressing flush against his without thought.
the heat between you burned hotter, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew you should stop—that this was dangerous, that nothing about this could end neatly—but the thought flickered and died as quickly as it appeared.
right now, with his mouth on yours and his hands steady against your skin, you didn’t care about consequences. all you wanted was him.
when wonbin finally pulled away, it was slow—like he didn’t really want to, like something tethered him to you even as his lips parted from yours. his forehead brushed against yours, faint and fleeting, but he stayed close, so close that you could still feel the warmth of his breath fanning lightly across your skin, each exhale shallow and uneven. his chest rose and fell in rhythm with yours, as if the kiss had unraveled something in him too, something he wasn’t ready to let slip away just yet.
his eyes, wild and dark beneath the faint glow pooling in the corners of the room, searched yours like he was looking for something—confirmation, maybe, or reassurance that you weren’t about to disappear beneath the weight of it all. but you didn’t move, didn’t dare break the fragile thread tying you to him, even as the faint tremble in your hands betrayed the storm still rolling beneath your skin.
wonbin’s gaze flickered, dropping briefly to your lips—swollen and tingling from the heat of his kiss—before trailing back up, locking onto your eyes with an intensity that made your pulse trip over itself. his breathing, still ragged, filled the small space between you, and you could feel the hesitation crackling in the air, as if neither of you could decide whether to pull back or dive in all over again.
but he didn’t move. instead, his thumb brushed faintly over your waist where his hand still rested, light but grounding, as if the smallest shift might break the moment apart completely.
wonbin’s eyes held yours in the dim hush of the room, and there was something there—something fragile, unspoken, pooling beneath the surface in a way that made your chest ache. he looked at you like he wanted to say something, the words balanced on the edge of his tongue, trembling under the weight of the moment that neither of you had fully grasped.
the soft glow of his stare left you breathless, and you felt it—the way your heart tripped violently over itself, as if it could shatter apart at the force of his attention alone.
but before the silence could break, before whatever hung so delicately between you could find the space to bloom, the door creaked open.
your breath hitched, shoulders stiffening instinctively as the soft glow from the hallway spilled in, stretching long shadows across the floor. and there she was—the girl from downstairs, the one who had been tucked neatly beneath wonbin’s arm not long ago, her hair slightly tousled, lips still tinted the same shade of deep red they’d been wrapped around the neck of a bottle earlier.
she arched a brow, leaning casually against the doorframe as if she hadn’t just stepped into something she wasn’t supposed to witness, her gaze flickering between the two of you with barely concealed amusement.
“there you are,” she drawled, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. 
her eyes lingered on where wonbin’s hand still rested against your waist, the faint trace of a smirk tugging at her mouth. 
“i was just looking for the bathroom, but i guess you found something else to keep you busy.”
the words stung more than you wanted to admit, slicing through the haze of warmth that had settled over your skin like cold water. wonbin subtly pulled away, severing the last thread of contact that tethered him to you.
you felt the absence immediately.
the version of him that had been so close just moments before—the one whose eyes held too much softness, whose breath still lingered faintly against your skin—slipped away just as easily as his hand did. his expression shifted, carefully, subtly, into something more familiar—something easy, like sliding on an old jacket.
“you left pretty quick, you know,” she added, tipping her head as her eyes lingered on him. “i thought you told me to hurry back, that your lips were aching to be kissed.” 
her voice dripped with teasing, but there was something sharper hidden beneath it, something that made the air feel heavier than before.
you dropped your gaze, swallowing hard as you willed the heat crawling up your neck to settle, but the damage had already been done. the kiss still lingered on your lips, but now it felt fragile, as if it might slip away entirely beneath the weight of her presence.
and somehow, that silence said more than you wanted it to.
it sank in slowly at first—like ice creeping beneath your skin, cold and unforgiving, before spreading out in sharp, jagged edges that left you raw and exposed. the kiss that had left you breathless, that had ignited something fragile and aching inside you, was nothing more than a fleeting indulgence to him. a moment without consequence. you could see it now, clear as day in the casual way he stood there, unmoved by the intrusion, his hand slipping from your waist with an ease that made your stomach twist.
the bile rose fast, hot and bitter at the back of your throat, chasing the slow-burning alcohol that had once been your only companion tonight. the room tilted slightly as you lurched forward, unsteady on your feet, but the sudden need to get out propelled you before the ground could catch up to you. 
the floor felt too solid beneath your heels, yet somehow it still shifted, your legs buckling beneath the weight of disappointment that seemed far heavier than your body could carry.
your fingers grazed the wall, trailing against the plaster for balance, but it did little to steady the frantic thrum of your heart, the erratic pulse thudding painfully beneath your ribs. you didn’t look at him—couldn’t look at him. not when the aftertaste of the kiss still lingered on your lips, mixing bitterly with the sourness rising in your chest.
how could you have been so naive?
the thought struck hard, splintering through the haze clouding your mind. of course, it hadn’t meant anything, not to him.
wonbin shifted in the absence of  your closeness, the faint sound of his breath catching like he wanted to say something, but the words never came.
you felt him hesitate, the weight of his indecision thick in the space between you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze—not when the version of him standing there now was the same one you’d always known. the one who smiled too easily, laughed too freely, and kissed you like it was nothing more than a passing moment.
his hand twitched at his side, barely noticeable, but you caught it—the faintest movement, like he wasn’t sure if he should reach for you or let you slip away entirely.
you made the decision for him.
“i should go,” you muttered under your breath, though it hardly mattered if anyone heard you.
a desperate attempt to keep yourself from breaking apart in the same room where you’d just let yourself believe—even for a second—that maybe you were something more than just another girl passing through his night.
your hand barely brushed the doorknob when you heard it—soft, almost hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he should say anything at all. he called your name, just your name. nothing more.
but it sliced through the air, cutting straight to the fragile, aching part of you that was already splitting open beneath the weight of it all. his voice carried that same softness he always seemed to wear around you, the kind that could unravel you if you let it, but you couldn’t afford to let it reach you. not now—not when the bitter taste of disappointment still lingered on your tongue, and the heat of his kiss felt more like a bruise than a memory.
your fingers tightened around the doorframe, knuckles pale as if you could somehow ground yourself through the sheer force of it. for a brief second, you swore you felt the room shift again, the pull of his voice tethering you there like a thin thread you were barely holding onto.
but you didn’t turn around. instead you pushed forward, slipping out the door before the sound of your name could latch onto anything deeper—before the storm swirling behind his eyes could drag you back under.
the hallway stretched endlessly ahead, dim and empty save for the faint thump of music still pulsing distantly beneath the floorboards. each step felt heavier than the last, your pulse thundering in your ears, but you didn’t stop. 
if you stayed—if you met his eyes now—you knew you’d fall apart right there in front of him, and that wasn’t something you were willing to let him see.
the hallway blurred around you, the edges folding in on themselves as you stumbled forward, each step heavier than the last, like the ground beneath you had shifted into something unsteady—something that no longer belonged to you. 
the pulse of the music from below thudded against your ribs, each beat knocking the breath from your lungs as if the house itself was trying to hold you back. your hand slid against the banister, the cool wood biting into your palm, but even that felt distant, as if your body was moving on instinct alone—driven by the desperate, suffocating need to get out, to breathe air that wasn’t laced with the faint scent of him still clinging to your skin.
the staircase stretched endlessly beneath you, spiraling down into the haze of bodies pressed too close, of laughter that felt like it belonged to someone else’s night, not yours. your ankle wavered on the last step, the heel of your shoe catching for just a second, but you barely noticed—barely cared—because the ache curling deep in your chest burned hotter, tighter, until it was all you could feel.
you pushed through the front door with trembling fingers, the cool night air rushing over your skin like a slap, sudden and sharp, yet not enough to ease the knot twisting violently inside you. the quiet outside was jarring, the absence of music leaving nothing but the thrum of your heartbeat ringing loud in your ears, each pulse a brutal reminder of what you already knew but refused to say out loud.
wonbin would never belong to you.
the realization struck harder beneath the glow of the streetlights, seeping into the cracks you’d been trying to ignore for far too long. no matter how many glances lingered, no matter how many fleeting touches made your heart stumble, you were just another part of his night—a brief distraction, nothing more. 
and now, standing alone beneath the cold stretch of sky, the weight of that truth sank deep into your bones, settling there like it had always been waiting. you wrapped your arms around yourself, the wind tugging at the hem of your dress as if trying to pull you apart piece by piece, but there was nothing left to unravel.
you had already come undone.
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writerquil · 1 year ago
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Alenoah Fic Recs
(Oneshots and Longer Fics)
1
Name: 5 times Noah talked to the Drama Machine + 1 Time it Talked Back
By: alejandrospineapple
Wordcount: 4k
Status: Complete
Description: Noah's tasked to get the Drama Machine out of storage, they become friends and when Noah finds out who's inside the robot the hard way, he finally can have a proper conversation with it.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49995973
2
Name: Collateral
By: astrokyle
Wordcount: 24k
Status: On-going
Description: Noah ends up handcuffed to Alejandro. It’s stellar. A missing reward challenge from World Tour.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49382899/chapters/124620064
3
Name: curl up like a pill-bug
By: honeyhoneypot
Wordcount: 13k
Status: On-going
Description: Noah gets rehired as Chris' assistant and reunites with Alejandro.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50295178/chapters/127055392
4
Name: Soulmates + Confession
By: themoleman
Wordcount: 3k
Status: On-going
Description: Noah hates his new, annoying roommate. He hates the girls he brings by. How stupidly arrogant he is. And how his soulmate mark is identical to Noah’s.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50003536/chapters/126254653
5
Name: his guide in the dark (don't let him trip)
By: lonleybrachiobrute (triceratroops)
Wordcount: 4k
Status: Complete
Description: alenoah in the early morning on World Tour (ft. noah being a tired koala, alejandro guiding noah, and them being a couple despite not being a couple at all)
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39171609
6
Name: Keep your enemies close
By: AyaWilliams
Wordcount: 73k
Status: Complete
Description: During the ripper challenge Noah remembers something that prevents him from badmouthing Alejandro. This means different things for different people. For Noah it means an opportunity to get further in the game For Alejandro it means a new alliance partner. For Heather it means a second rival. For Gwen it means stopping a huge mistake. And for the audience it means tons of drama.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32908795/chapters/81670897
7
Name: Odd Occasions
By: courtney-deserved-better
Wordcount: 600
Status: Complete
Description: Alejandro finds out that Noah is a sleep cuddler.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32934208
8
Name: So Sick of You
By: Brick_bronze165
Wordcount: 41k
Status: Complete
Description: Noah's determined to make it further than last time, the first season was a fluke. He has everything in place until bad luck strikes and he falls ill with a cold. What could possibly go wrong? Especially when Alejandro decides to make it his mission to take care of him. This won't be the thing to take him out of the running, not if he can help it.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49583008/chapters/125141965
9
Name: World Tour if the Writers Weren't COWARDS and Let it be Gay
By: Anonymous
Wordcount: 24k
Status: On-going
Description: Pretty self explanatory.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50068276/chapters/126430036
10
Name: With a Little Help from My Friends
By: Cinna (Cinnamas)
Wordcount: 51k
Status: On-going
Description: TDWT retelling from after the 'Eye see London'. In an unexpected twist of fate, Noah is the one who stumbles upon Duncan and Gwen's secret rendezvous in the confessional. He decides to tell Courtney, feeling that she deserves to know the truth about her boyfriend and best friend. Of course he couldn't predict how doing so would dramatically, shift the course of the show and lead to unexpected alliances, rivalries, and romance?
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49478542/chapters/124873768
Name: The Sweet to my Bitter, the Sugar to my Coffee
By: Thicc_eyebrows
Wordcount: 31k
Status: Complete
Description: Noah's a bitter person and he only gets more bitter when Owen suggests that the duo host a Total Drama reunion. He's less than thrilled about the idea but decides to play along for the sake of his friend. Noah dreads seeing someone again at the reunion and with his dumb luck, ends up alone with a certain slimy eel and his sugary words due to his friends' schemes.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32932396/chapters/81732652
11
Name: The Smell of His Hair and the Taste of His Lips
By: CatLikeAle
Wordcount: 5k
Status: Complete
Description: they get angry and then make out
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50321107/chapters/127124695
12
Name: An Insulting Indifference
By: drowzeee
Wordcount: 151k
Status: On-going
Description: After three years of radio silence following the end of Total Drama World Tour, Noah reaches out to Alejandro Burromuerto. Some say he should resent the guy, while others insist there was something between them that could have been genuine friendship. Noah doesn't have a strong opinion either way.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48732487/chapters/122930905
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sunflowervoltwentyeight · 6 months ago
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Happy 28th! Here is my August 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!
With The Strength To Carry On by lovelarry10, therogueskimo (113k)
The American British Doctoral Exchange Program was the best thing that ever happened to Louis. It gave him a chance to start over and make a real difference in the world. He could focus on work and not be distracted by anything or anyone. When Harry Styles shows up as the new intern, he turns Louis' world upside down. ~ Harry Styles had one passion in life, and that was helping sick children feel better. Putting smiles on their faces made Harry feel like he was making up for past mistakes and losses. When he gets accepted to the American British Doctoral Exchange Program, he treats it as the chance of a lifetime to make a difference internationally. He didn't expect to fall for his mentor along the way.
... or the one where Louis and Harry are doctors, and things happen.
Stranger Than Larry Fiction by Larrysmomfics / @larrysmomfics (90k)
It's been twelve years since Harry met Louis on TXF, became best mates with him, eventually falling head over heels in love with him. Six years post One Direction deciding to go on hiatus and now everyone is doing their own thing. All the boys have solo careers, some are touring, and with their busy lives in play, Harry and Louis have sort of grown apart. Harry's been filling the Louis void by devouring Larry fanfics, giving himself a chance to love Louis from afar in his own way. So far it's worked for him and he's content with his love of Louis being of the unrequited variety.
That all changes, however, when Harry reads a particularly emotional and classic fic in the fandom, and he simply can't help but call Louis despite his sobs to tell him all about it, inadvertently sending Louis down the Larry fic rabbit hole as well.
OR
A canon-divergent AU where Louis and Harry read Larry Stylinson fanfiction.
Can’t Hide It, You Might As Well Embrace It by supernope (67k)
Together since they were teenagers, Harry and Louis are professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They may also secretly be married.
Someone to Fly Home To by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything (34k)
Louis. 55 year old pilot who wants someone to fly home to.
Harry swipes right. Or Louis and Harry’s marriage ended more than a decade ago, but fate keeps bringing them back together.
You Are Half of Me (and I Am All for You) by angelichl / @angelichl (24k)
One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.
Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?
Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.
Just a Minute More by kingofthefridaynight (6k)
“Look,” Harry said now, tapping Louis repeatedly on his thigh. There it was, the proud beam on Harry’s face, as he showed off a piece of fabric in a wooden circle. The bright yarn in the middle vaguely resembled a flower. Either way, Louis smiled, “It’s beautiful, angel.” “You recognise it?” Harry asked with a teasing smirk, wagging the hoop a little into Louis’ direction. “Or are you just being nice?” Harry knew him too well. He could read him like a book. That’s what marriage is about though, Louis figured, as he tried to squint at the flower to see what it was supposed to resemble. “I’m sorry, love,” Louis confessed after a second. “Tell me, though?”
Or, a rainy day in bed, where all they do is enjoy each other’s company.
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n33dlew0rk · 6 months ago
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Crollo
rated T | 1113 words | cw: cheating, scarce emotional management, angst
for @steddieangstyaugust prompt “angst with happy ending” (day 4)
This is not even inspired by, I directly quoted/translated some parts of “Crollo” by Quercia.
Yeah yeah yeah, so Steve was not prepared for that, honestly. He was ready for a lot of things but most of them were way outside of the humans hurting other humans emotionally spectrum. Hell, if anything he probably deserved some kind of reward, because the speed at which he turned his more than well-earned freaking the fuck out moment into a demonstration of probably not as much well-earned devotion, was truly compelling. 
His heart was left inside dessicating while his trust left the building without a word.
And he couldn’t even relate to most of the typical rockstar wives enduring the obvious implications of the touring life drama, because it wasn’t a matter of fans and groupies and drugs and trashed hotel rooms, no. He was a producer, a friend, a more than three yearly bbqs with families and acquaintances and coworkers good buddy, a fishing directly into Steve’s worst paranoia of not having enough in common with Eddie nightmare, also a fucking steady gig, apparently.
So Steve did what seems to be the thing he does best: he babysat his relationship through the motions. (The motions being lots of tears and make-up sex and talking a lot about forgiveness and listening to a lot of good reasons why the love of his life was supposedly kind of right in looking out for his own emotional needs instead of talking with Steve even if he couldn’t think of a single time he denied Eddie anything and months of hush-hush couples therapy because tabloid-wise Steve did not exist and ironically nor did Danny).
Yeah, so time went by, slowly piecing together the crumbling foundations of their love with gold-infused hope-based and will-reinforced glue. 
And seeing as helping others was his true call since his long lost life-altering teenage years, Steve can’t really be blamed for forgetting about the festering consequences of those same fractures inside himself. Make them feel good and you’ll feel good too eventually, right?
Steve opened his eyes every day pretending to see the sun filtering just through the blinds of their bedroom instead of through all the cracks not even the purest 24k gold could fix in his attempt to rebuild a fragile vase-like life with Eddie.
One could say that forgiveness has many different fashions of coming into existence, that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to restore a relationship. And while this is all theoretically very true, it is also true that in bullshitting his way through nearly one year of Kintsugi style patching up his entire world, Steve was brought to the conclusion that repairing his love life even if with golden-plated good intentions would never bring it back as it was.
And as soon as Steve folded under the pressure of this realisation, so did everything else. Like the debris of a fire, hurt spread like an infection, a wedge in a rift long-simmering, not undetected but surely underestimated.
So Steve left.
He packed all the shards in a suitcase, heavy with grief and resentment, leaving a trail of wounds he didn’t even know he had growing inside himself like freshly baked bullets aimed at Eddie’s heart. 
Steve left and the ground behind him where once their beautiful house rose was so burnt he was sure he sentenced to death every slim chance Eddie and him could ever even hope to grasp.
Almost a whole year later, during his first solo therapy session in a new city with a new job and a new apartment and such newfound freedom he never asked for he spent nearly half an hour crying, stuck on a single phrase he kept on murmuring, condemnation on his shoulders more than a prayer for repentance: “I never fix myself in time to not make myself hated”.
It was after a few weeks of pouring waterfalls of regret and bile, after the first painful tries at cleaning the cut splitting him in two, that Janine -bless the woman- said to him: “Steve, how about we ditch this whole” she gestured vaguely at him with her wrinkly blood red lacquered fingers “rebuilding what once was concept”.
Steve looked at her confused as a pre-schooler who’s just been told that he cannot call the teacher ‘mom’. “What do you mean?” he half-sobbed.
She sighed, “I mean that it’s been years for you and weeks for us and still the only direction you seem to be able to look at everything that happened is the one where somehow you magically discover a way to turn back in time and resume your happy unaware life.” That was an unusually long sentence for Janine, whose primary and native language consisted of sceptical nods, expressive and judgemental eyebrows and the occasional grunt.
Predictably it was an exception and the precious sliver of patience was slipping quickly from Janine’s eyes. 
“I- I don’t know what else to do” Steve said, trying to fight tears with a very weak composure, straightening his back on the plush chair. “I tried to fix it, I fucked it up more instead.”
“And you think that the only thing on the other side of that is what? Perfection?” Janine slapped her thighs, getting up and around her desk. “Steve, our session is running short today, but listen to me carefully”, she paused, putting both her hands on Steve’s shoulders.
“The before you’re so stubbornly looking at through rose tinted glasses is the same place where everything you’re trying to untangle now was born.”
Steve lifted his glazed eyes to hers, mid-way between a(nother) breakdown and hopefulness.
“You’re scared. You already know you can’t have it back like it was, you already tried to puzzle your way into a life that wasn’t good enough for either of you.” She said.
Steve rose from the chair, slowly walking towards the door. “The sooner you let yourself break, break free from your already crushed castle of romanticised nostalgia, the sooner your fears will disappear.” Another pause, the bitch really was going in with the dramatics. “Then you can build anew.”
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You reached Steve Harrington. I’m currently unavailable, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. “Hey Steve, I know this is kind of out of the blue and I’m calling despite... fear eating me out because honestly. I mean, fuck, I can’t say I would still wanna talk to me if I was in your shoes, but.. Sweetheart I need to at least try, because... I haven’t seen you in more than a year and you’re still the only thing missing from my world for it to be even tolerable. So… what do you say about lunch and I don’t know, start over?”
Divider by @steddiecameraroll-graphics
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dnfao3tags · 1 year ago
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Monthly Fic Roundup - January 2024
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starting the new year off with a bunch of bangers!
make sure to leave some love :]
— things that stand to reason by tippysleeps (expl. | comp. | 4k) ; alpha x alpha
And then he’s coasting past twenty, and he’s trying hard not to imagine Dream as some faceless alpha who would grip his hips and fuck him like he’s chasing George’s approval. And then he’s almost twenty-one, and he wakes feeling like his whole body is on fucking fire, and his cock is leaking all over his sheets, and he starts rutting into the mattress like it’s the only thing he knows how to do. And he’s a fucking alpha. And the world crashes down around him.
— moss and porcelain by pondsofkoi (gen | comp. | 1k) ; scar fic
“Can I look at your scar?”
— Him Whom My Soul Loves by definitelynotczargasm (expl. | comp. | 61k) ; 18th century!george x modern!dream
DNF Time Travel AU
note: was published in nov but it was completed in this month so im gonna include it anyways!
— Remember When by minecraftsteve42 (mat. | comp. | 24k) ; jealous!george
Dream starts dating again and George realizes he's not over the fling they had. Can they repair their relationship or did they ruin it forever?
— private religion by 21questions (teen | comp. | 8k) ; band au
The European leg of Dream's tour brings a little more than just revenue and jet lag.
— Omission by VeggieHarumaki (mat. | comp. | 8k) ; siren!george
There has been a warning on every community board, every public building, and every post in this town for as long as Dream can remember. Do not speak to the siren.
— hanging out in my room by nervouswaltz (gen | comp. | 3k) ; milo shits the bed
“And you can’t sleep in the guest house?” Dream deflates, pathetic.
— stay the night by cqfnce (teen | comp. | 3k) ; milo shits the bed
inconveniences and idiots in love
— let it flood, let it flood by sappymix1 (mat. | comp. | 3k) ; established relationship
it's a new year, and they shower.
— Somewhere on a Plane Over the Atlantic by Scoops (consciousness_streaming) (teen | comp. | 3k) ; coda to Curse and Cure of the Internet
George wakes up ready to move to America with a "Right Hand Man" downloaded on his phone.
— love you always by hardtofindneuro (expl. | comp. | 56k | cancer fic but not mcd)
George takes care of Dream. I have cancer. Those three words changed George’s life.
— that got weird by dizzy (mat. | comp. | 1k) ; dreamnap bonding
Dream and Sapnap wait for George to get home.
— The Remedy to Everything by Simplysmitten (expl. | wip | 22k+) ; omegaverse + fwb + meetup
After nearly a year of waiting for his visa, George is finally allowed to go home. Home, meaning a house in Florida that was already inhabited by his two best friends, Dream and Sapnap. Being an omega, George feared what trouble moving in with two alphas could potentially create. He never expected that trouble would come in the form of soft curls and green eyes, sparking something irreversible inside himself.
— we need to talk by womanhunt, wooowriter (mat. | comp. | 7k) ; sapnap-centred + secret relationship
Sapnap is an oblivious idiot.
— More Convenient (An Arrangement of Sorts) by Simplysmitten (expl. | comp. | 7k) ; fwb
Dream can't get off without having a partner to please, but luckily for him, George just moved to America. (also they are idiots in love they are so dumb and so in love but not in an angsty way just a "they're so stupid" way)
— pride (n.): undefined. by Anonymous (gen | comp. | 4k) ; sexuality related + demisexual demiromantic gnf
“D’you wanna go to Pride with me?” Dream asks, out of the blue, on a Tuesday like any other. George looks up, putting a stop to his mindless scrolling and letting his phone fall by his hip on the mattress. Dream is looking at him, expectant, with a brow arched so high it nears his hairline. George isn’t sure he heard him right.
— I Read My Self-Insert Fanfiction to My Boyfriend by thiswasamistake (teen | comp. | 2k) ; established relationship
Dream and George watch and read Percy Jackson together.
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xoxobuckybarnes · 2 years ago
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April 2023 Stucky Fics
Completed
rough edges (Rated: M, Words: 33K) by sparkagrace / @sparkagrace & burning_brighter / @burning-brighter
Summary: Olympic ice dancers Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have never gotten along. Closeted Steve is in a showmance with his partner Maria as America’s sweethearts, while Bucky and Natasha are the lethal Russian pair whose technical mastery on ice is unrivaled. Now they will all be traveling around America on the Stars on Ice tour for the next two months, which sets Steve on edge in ways he didn’t quite expect.— A collaboration for Stucky Bang 2022
Chase the Lightning From the Sky (Rated: E, Words: 39K) by SilverSlashes / @silverslashes & art by TrishArgh / @frau-argh
Summary: If Bucky has to be stuck doing this ridiculous summer work program before his senior year of college, on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, then at least he’s got a hot as hell cowboy for a boss and host. Steve Rogers, owner of the Truth & Justice Ranch, is what Bucky’s completely theoretical but very imaginative bisexual fantasies are made of. Steve’s a widower though, and a nice guy in need of help, and no doubt 100% straight… so Bucky’s gonna work his ass off and keep his head down. But neither Bucky nor Steve are prepared for the friendship that forms between them as they work side by side. And they certainly aren’t expecting the budding feelings, confessions, and passions that summer heat and the loneliness of the great open plains stirs in each of them. What rages to life between them will shake each man to his core and will linger long after the storms and the summer have passed.
Love Is the Most Important Thing in the World (But Baseball is Pretty Good, Too) (Rated: E, Words: 6K) by Kellyscams / @thebestpersonherelovesbucky
Summary: Once upon a time ago, Steve Rogers was inseparable from his best friend and teammate James "Bucky" Barnes. All of that changed one eventful night near the end of their high school career when Steve kissed Bucky. Tonight, Steve must face Bucky in what just might be the turning point in his minor league career. Bucky's no doubt going to get his call up to the Majors. But if Steve can't face this one batter that's haunted him since high school... he might never catch his break. Does Steve have what it takes to strike his rival out? Or will he only ever see Bucky Barnes, the boy he's loved since high school, sixty-feet away from him?
We Kissed Back Then (Rated: T, Words: 5K) by vespertineflora
Summary: In recovering his past, Bucky stumbles upon certain memories he once thought he'd always leave buried: like the fact that Steve and he had kissed as children, as teens, as adults... They'd been in love far longer than he'd realized.  
Coming Out to the Ball Game (Rated: M, Words: 14K) by TheLostWeasley
Summary: Bucky is the new stat hitter on the Hydras. Steve is a seasoned pitcher on the Avengers. Naturally, they start having sex. The baseball au that literally nobody asked for.
On Thin Ice (Rated: E, Words: 36K) by wintersoldier1989
Summary: Steve Rogers is skilled on the ice but needs all the help he can get in the classroom. Bucky Barnes agrees to help his cousin’s friend get his grades up and in the end both guys get more than they bargained for.
Happy Accidents (Rated E, Words: 32K) by controlofwhatido / @controlofwhatido & art by auntiesuze 
Summary: Bucky sleeps with one superhero one time and now he’s pregnant. Fuck. Good going, James B. Barnes. One unmated omega father, coming right up. Top that off with his metal arm and he’s really going to be an outcast.
between everything, yourself, and home (Rated: E, words: 24K) by napricot
Summary: “This is your home?” asks Bucky at one point. “It’s where I’m living now, yeah.” Bucky comes home. Steve's a little slower on the uptake.
Knife Skills (Rated: 5, Words: 72K) by Hark_bananas / @harkbananas
Summary: The money he'd stolen from Hydra has almost run out when he finds a black piece of card stock with blocky capital letters stapled to a telephone pole: FUNNEL NO. 9 DO YOU HAVE KNIFE SKILLS? WE NEED YOU And then below, there's a phone number. Knife skills? I have knife skills, he thinks. That part is pretty self-explanatory, though he has no idea what Funnel No. 9 could mean. He doesn't really want to get back into the hitman business, but needs must, and Bucky Barnes is a practical man.
I’ll always find my way back (to you) (Rated: T, Words: 4K) by burning_brighter / @burning-brighter
Summary: When Steve reappears on the platform after returning the Stones, he can tell something went wrong. Not only is he alone in the woods, he's also back in his old body. He has many questions, but the only thing he really wants is to make his way back to Bucky.
just our hands clasped so tight (Rated: T, Words: 8K) by Stella959
Summary: The countdown has already begun, and there's less than thirty seconds before this year's Hunger Games begin. Steve has to decide quickly what, if anything, he’s going to grab before he makes a run for it. The tributes are spread out in a circle around the cornucopia, and he can just make out Bucky on the far side. They make eye contact briefly before his gaze returns to the arena. There. A circular metal shield, almost completely hidden in the tall grass maybe ten feet in, propped up on a backpack so that the curved edge just barely sticks up. Steve remembers picking up a similar shield in the Training Center on their first full day in the Capitol: lighter than he’d expected but with a sharpened edge, optimal for defense but not without offensive use. As the final seconds of the countdown pass, Steve thinks that if there can only be one victor, he'll do whatever he can to make sure it's Bucky. Across the field, Bucky's thinking the same thing. If there can only be one victor, he'll do whatever he can to make sure it's Steve.
5 times Bucky and Steve were Unnaturally Comfortable Around Each Other, and the 1 Time They Weren’t (Rated: M, Words: 5K) by  WhatTheBodyGraspsNot
Summary: "Steve gently tosses his book to the side and then places his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, kneading thoroughly against the impressively tense muscles. Bucky sighs, his eyes falling shut and mouth dropping open in a mixture of slight pain but mostly relief. “Oh fuck,” he groans, leaning into the touch. Clint snickers quietly, trying to busy himself with pouring milk into a bowl of cereal before one of his trademark sarcastic comments can escape him and make the situation more awkward than it’s already quickly becoming. "OR: Five times Steve and Bucky should have been uncomfortable but weren't, so Tony and Clint devise a plan to prove that they're sleeping together (even though they aren't, they're just really really oblivious).
A Higher Epsilon (Rated: E, Words: 91K) by  deadto27 / @deadto27
Summary: Bucky has always wanted a dog. Now finally he has one and it’s everything he wanted and more. It opens up his life in ways he never expected. He especially didn’t expect to meet Steve at the dog park. He didn’t expect they’d become friends. He really didn’t expect that they’d be dating. Unfortunately nobody’s clued Bucky in to that last part. ----- He feels frozen in panic. It’s their second day together and he’s lost her. He’s lost his dog. He’s spiraling until suddenly there’s a little yip noise and Bucky snaps his head up to see his dog in front of him, in the arms of someone else. “Ohmygod,” he hisses out in pure relief, breathing hard. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so relieved in all his life. “Is this your dog?” the owner of the arms asks.
WIP
a league of their own (Rated: E, Current Words: 18K) by burning_brighter / @burning-brighter
Summary: Steve’s sixteen-year-old son’s one and only dream is to play in the Major League. He thinks he has a shot when the team get a new coach, retired MLB legend and Steve’s high school crush, Bucky Barnes. Steve hasn’t thought of the man in many years, but seeing him brings back many memories that push Steve to reach out to an old friend and maybe make new ones on the way. What happens when Steve gets to know Bucky properly? What happens when they open up about their darkest secrets and deepest fears? There’s really only one thing that can happen.
Treading Water (Rated: M, Current Words: 114K) by sparkagrace / @sparkagrace & art by Dyslexic_Fetus / @reagy-jay
Summary: Olympic swimmer Bucky Barnes always believed that when the time came to retire, he would walk away with his medals and world records firmly in the history books and never look back. He never thought the water would leave him first.
***Part of the series Lane Lines: Lane Lines (Rated: M, Words: 132K), Lumière (Rated: M, Words: 5K), & New Traditions (Rated: M, Words: 6K)***
Rereads
Full Count (Rated: M, Words: 50K) by Ink_Dancer
Summary: Full Count: a baseball term referring to a situation during a player’s at bat where there are three balls and two strikes on him. As this is the maximum one can have without either walking (base on balls) or striking out, this is generally expected to be a very stressful situation for both the pitcher and the batter. The pitch that is then thrown on this count is expected to be the one that decides the batter’s fate, and carries with it a certain expectation of change. It’s known as the payoff pitch: it’s the payoff for a long wait. or: a stucky au that takes place in the world of Major League Baseball, in which Bucky is a catcher, Steve is a closing pitcher, and their lives are stuck in a perpetual full count—until life throws the payoff pitch and they end up on the same Dodgers team.
The Run and Go (Rated: E, Words: 14K) by  lupus (khaleeseas) / @biharley
Summary:  When Bucky Barnes first meets Steve Rogers, Bucky's standing half-naked in their apartment complex's laundry room. It's 2 a.m. on a Friday night (or is it considered a Saturday morning?) and for once Bucky is way too sober for all of this. The next thing Bucky knows, Steve is everywhere. Being hot and sarcastic and nice and overall perfect and Bucky is kind of totally and completely screwed.
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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 7 months ago
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20k Masterlist
Butterfly (ao3) - merlypops luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 29k
Summary: Luke is depressed and Ashton makes him feel loved (and maybe Luke returns the favour too). Also Malum. Yes.
Denouement (Love is Almost Always Accidental) (ao3) - galacticsugar luke/ashton T, 28k
Summary: Ashton’s parents send him to boarding school in Paris, where he is immediately charmed by Luke. Unfortunately, Luke has a boyfriend.
Endlessly (ao3) - thesoulsailor E, 27k
Summary: “I know who he is.” The boy, Ashton, commented, closing his book. Not sparing Calum a single look, he hopped off his chair and started walking towards the back door of the room. His movements were rigid, tense as if Calum had offended him personally by just his presence. Which confused Calum more than it should’ve if he was being honest. Normally people were easy for Calum. He got along with almost everyone he met from the go. Not so Ashton. Ashton seemed to detest him and Calum had no idea why.
or Calum is the undisputed king of his high school, Ashton speaks through colours, Luke doesn’t let anybody touch him and Michael is so getting killed by for hiding that snake in their teacher’s drawer.
feeling the weight of the world (ao3) - babyblueliveshere calum/ashton M, 22k
Summary: duke university and the university of north carolina, ten miles apart, home to the most intense rivalry in all of college basketball. and now, they have the top two high school basketball recruits in the nation: ashton irwin and calum hood.
feels like i’m dreaming but i’m not sleeping (ao3) - badomensbaby luke/calum, michael/ashton E, 29k
Summary: “But saying that out loud is just..” the blonde boy trails off, his voice weakened and unsteady, “Makes me feel kind of pathetic, I guess.” “Pathetic?” Calum parrots, “Therapy isn’t just for people who have issues, Luke. I have patients who just like to tell me about their life because they want to. You have this preconceived notion that therapy is only for broken people.”
or, luke has too many problems but calum doesn’t mind them.
Gotta Be Cruel to be Kind (ao3) - fourdrunksluts michael/ashton, luke/calum E, 26k
Summary: “It’s just for a date or two.” Calum sounds exasperated despite Michael’s excuse being perfectly valid. “Ashton’s hot.”
“Ashton’s a shrew,” he corrects, voice biting. “I’m not going to… to tame him, or whatever, just so you can convince some twink to go on a mediocre date with you.“ 
Got to Get Out (ao3) - Emmybazy luke/alum, luke/ashton, luke/harry, luke/niall M, 21k
Summary: Calum and Luke have been friends all their lives. Calum starts getting more and more opportunities to get out of town, so he takes them. Something is telling him he needs to leave town every time he settles. Luke is there through it all.
Or, Calum is always leaving and Luke always seems to be waiting.
Honeysuckle - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, ashton/ofc E, 28k
Summary: Ashton realizes fairly soon into touring that remembering names isn’t worth his time.
or, it’s the 1970s, Ashton is a homophobic lead singer and Luke is the new gay roadie on tour with his band.
How To Seduce Your Best Friend In 10 Days (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance luke/calum E, 22k
Summary: When you have a crush on somebody for a long time and it gets unbearable: it’s about time to do something about it… That’s how Luke ended up with a great plan of his own… Or something like that…
Kiss Me Like Nobody’s Watching (ao3) - simplecharli luke/ashton N/R, 24k
Summary: Luke is bullied at his high school. Enter Ashton, a guy he met at a bar and who he didn’t know was going to be his new teacher. Complications and heartbreak ensue. Will they be able to get through it?
Luke Hugged Him Back Just As Tightly And Heard Michael Whisper ‘Friends’. (ao3) - destiel_lemmings E, 28k
Summary: Luke knew that this was going to be weird. He new roommate/ex-kitten were now even more indulged in Luke’s mind. The only problem was that his roommate was not only attractive but he knew Luke like the back of his hand, and Luke had just met the boy.
Or this is a continuation of ‘With A Meow And A Belly Rub Luke Knew He Was In Love With The Ball Of Fur.’ And Michael knows all of Luke’s quirks but Luke is just getting to know the cute boy that was once his kitten. This is the journey through their friendship and maybe even relationship?
my, my, those eyes like fire (ao3) - badomensbaby luke/calum E, 22k
Summary: “What the fuck?” he breathes out in a panic, eyes widening and abandoning the grip on his dick, almost frozen with shock. “Oh my god. No, no no-” There’s no fucking way. Luke’s nakedly scrambling off the bed in search of his phone, which ended up beside the entertainment center, luckily void of scratches but the photo that caused his panic-ridden phone throwing episode is still pulled up. And it’s unmistakably Calum.
Oil and Water (ao3) - dafeedil michael/calum E, 25k
Summary: Calum’s heart sinks a little bit, and he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because he’s allowed himself to fall victim to Michael’s seduction yet again, or maybe it’s because he’s disappointed in himself for being so willing to try something that could so easily be dangerous. Or maybe, the most likely of all, it’s because he can hear Mali’s voice in his head telling him how stupid he’s been to have found himself—quite literally—backed against the wall like this, with a boy he barely knows whispering dirty promises into his ear when he doesn’t even know the first thing about real relationships.
Or, Calum spends a night with the boy that smells like smoke, and as it always is with bad addictions, he keeps getting sucked right back in.
on purpose (ao3) - galacticsugar luke/ashton T, 20k
Summary: The desire to kiss Luke is overwhelming. Calum knows he looks ridiculous right now, but Luke’s right there, face inches away, smiling fondly at Calum’s stupid face caught between his careful palms. His eyes are different too. He’s not looking at Calum like he wants to fuck him. He’s looking at Calum like he wants to gently cradle Calum in his giant hands like a baby chick. Somehow, that’s even worse.
put the stars in our eyes (ao3) - burstintocolor (anchormate) luke/calum M, 25k
Summary: Ben hangs up, leaving Luke still reeling. His family thinks he and Cal are dating. And they weren’t surprised. They’d been waiting for it. His mum cried because she was so happy for him. And worst of all, he hadn’t had a chance to correct Ben. Luke rolls over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a groan.
or, luke’s family thinks he’s dating calum. luke doesn’t correct them.
stained hearts (ao3) - galacticsugar luke/calum M, 28k
Summary: “I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now.” 
Okay. That’s okay. Good, even. Get to know each other before they get in too deep. 
“But I liked spending time with you and I liked having sex with you and I’d like to do it again.” Luke squeezes Calum’s hand, pulling Calum’s gaze to his face. He’s smiling softly, eyes illuminated by the sun, starbursts in his pupils and shadows of his curls in perfect spirals on his shoulders. “If you want.” 
Casual. Sure. Calum can do casual.
“I want.”
Subject Line - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) calum/ashton E, 20k
Summary: Maybe the sunrise doesn’t matter much after all. Calum can watch the sunrise any day. How many days will he get Ashton like this? Shirtless, sporting bedhead in a hotel room, with just the two of them for a few lazy hours alone?
Soon enough, they’ll be back on the tour bus and Calum won’t be allowed to hold Ashton’s hand anymore.
The Upside of Everything Wrong (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum, luke/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 24k
Summary: “Well we’ve always kind of deviated, don’t you think?” He says with a sly little smile that metaphorically knocks Calum on his ass. His face turns red again, and why, why is Michael doing this to him? “I do think that.” He whispers. He leans a bit closer to Michael, and lets his head rest against the boy’s shoulder. “But this isn’t a date.”
or the one where Calum’s been betrayed by everyone he’s put trust in, and believes he’s unlovable until Michael appears, and shows Calum just how easy being loved can be
Tinted Windows - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 21k
Summary: Luke doesn’t trust sleek cars with tinted windows and he certainly doesn’t trust the new kid on the corner who can’t stop smiling. Whores aren’t supposed to be that happy.
Words Have Two Meanings (ao3) - fourdrunksluts luke/ashton N/R, 22k
Summary: In a world where your soulmate is determined by their favorite song, people have gone, and continue to go, to extreme lengths to find their other half. Luke is certain Ashton’s his soulmate - even if every sign in the universe is telling him no.
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brunomarsarchive · 3 months ago
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allwaswell16 · 6 months ago
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All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in August 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here!Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!
Fanfictional Podcast #65 |  ko-fi | fic recs
- Louis / Harry -
🌤️Your A-Team, Your Endgame by @silverkiiwii
(E, 70k, reality show au) a Next In Fashion au where Louis and Harry are partnered in the competition but they do not get along when they have to if they want to win. Full of fashion, banter, misunderstanding and a whole lot of making each other blush.
🌤️ Groupie Love by CuckooTrooke / @larrydoinglaundry
(E, 45k, m/f) In other words, Louis is a rock star on a world tour and Harry is a regular attendee. They could never work.
🌤️ But I know you by Thingssicant / @slowlyseducedbycurls
(NR, 26k, space) Harry is a journalist, Louis is an astronaut, but it's way more complicated than that
🌤️ You Can't Change The Rolling Tide by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove
(M, 24k, summer) Louis lives on a tiny island off the coast of England and runs a sailboat touring company. When Niall is sidelined for the summer after his knee surgery, Louis needs a temporary new partner. Who better to fill that role than Harry, recently returned to the island after five years away?
🌤️ At your service, for your usage (series) by @holdingontochaos
(E, 16k, sex work) Louis is a doctor who works so much that he has barely any time to himself for pleasure, let alone to clean his house so he hires Harry as his naked maid and kills two birds with one stone.
🌤️ the past might be painful, but i’m in love with our future by localopa / @voulezloux
(T, 10k, part 2 of trans Louis verse) it takes a lot of convincing for louis to let harry take him to his first pride. harry understands his worries and fears. really, he does. he just wants to show his boyfriend that he doesn’t have to be alone anymore.
🌤️ never just the tip by journeytothepast / @suckerforhome
(E, 6k, omegaverse) Harry believes alphas can't control themselves. Louis proves him wrong.
🌤️ You Put the Boom Boom Into My Heart by @kingsofeverything
(T, 5k, historical) Harry's been trying all summer to come up with a way to show Louis how much he means to him before he leaves for college. Or five times Harry fails to win Wham! tickets and one time he succeeds.
🌤️ The Island by @jaerie
(E, 5k, part 2 of The Wilds) Researchers plucked some of them from their secluded island and transplanted them into an enclosure against their will like a bunch of zoo animals. But they weren't animals and they all had a story of how they got here.
🌤️ Dear Louis by callmenine
(E, 5k, famous/not famous) The one where Harry is a popstar having an existential crises and writes a song for his high school ex-boyfriend Louis after more than ten years of no contact.
🌤️ Let the Feeling Last by @allwaswell16
(T, 5k, unhinged pet fic) Omega Harry thinks the alpha at the grocery store buying a cart full of vegetables must be an amazing chef. He doesn't know that Alpha Louis is feeding all those vegetables to his pet pig.
🌤️ Stars over Amsterdam by @hellolovers13
(T, 4k, exes) Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex. Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.
🌤️ (on the edge until) you pull me in by @justanothershadeofblue
(E, 3k, fantasizing) His dick is not about to fall off, thank you very much, Niall, but it has been a while since he’s had time for a wank. 
🌤️ i'm going out tonight by @disgruntledkittenface
(M, 3k, established relationship) Louis hasn’t been appreciating his boyfriend Harry. He only realizes it when Harry takes matters into his own hands.
🌤️ I just wanna be yours (wanna be yours, wanna be yours) by @dreaminrainbows
(E, 3k, pwp) Harry studies his sixteen year old self’s face for a long moment and it's truly pathetic how in fourteen years nothing has really changed.
🌤️ the sign on your heart (it's reserved for me) by moon_rose25 / @darkinfinity
(G, 3k, kid fic) The one where Louis Tomlinson is a single dad and is finally allowing himself to start dating. Insert Harry Styles, a charming coffee shop owner who sweeps him off his feet.
🌤️ HOT TO GO! by @allwaswell16
(T, 2k, famous/not famous) When Harry does something weird at the barricade, he leaves Louis’ show devastated and hoping he can somehow make things right. Or the accidental pervert fic
🌤️ Gotta Feeling by @allwaswell16
(T, 2k, tour guide Louis) When Harry's life in Manchester isn't turning out the way he thought it would, he decides to visit his best friend in Mexico City. Maybe Niall can convince him to move halfway around the world.
🌤️ Ice, Ice, Baby by cherrylarry / @beelou
(G, 1k, meet cute) Figure skater Harry takes Louis out on the ice for the first time
- Rare Pairs -
🌤️ Like A Force Of Nature by @reminiscingintherain
(T, 30k, Zayn/Liam) the Heartstopper AU no one asked for.
🌤️ The Grundy County Drag Show Incident by @haztobegood
(T, 3k, Zayn/Liam) Holding a wireless mic in her gloved hand, Veronica Stardust owned the stage. She was one of the most vocally talented drag queens in the Midwest. Part 2 of Grundy County Incidents
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themculibrary · 2 years ago
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Steve/Bucky WWII era Masterlist
2005, 2012, And a Whole Lot of the 1900s In Between (ao3) - bashfulpenguin T, 10k
Summary: AU where Peggy Carter dies before Steve Rogers wakes up from the ice and her daughter, tells stories about how her mother was gay. Obviously, people ask if Steve knew and she explains that of course, he did. Now Steve wakes up in 2012 and has to deal with the world knowing he was gay and the threat of Hydra.
Collected Letters (1930-1943) (ao3) - brokentoy, triedunture T, 16k
Summary: The collected private correspondence—unedited, uncensored—of Steven Rogers, later known as Captain America, and his longtime companion, James B. Barnes, spanning the years from childhood to World War II.
dancing on my own (ao3) - biblionerd07 G, 1k
Summary: George Aiken's been a pub owner a long time--not much escapes him, not even the way that dark-haired soldier looks at his friend when he thinks no one's looking.
For the dead there is no story (ao3) - hansbekhart N/R, 24k
Summary: Twelve days ago, Captain America had landed in England, on a ten stop tour to cheer our boys in service, one of the first USO shows to ever brave the front. Seven days ago, Captain America had gone AWOL in Italy after learning that the 107th had been decimated, and many of its forces captured by the Nazis. Three days ago, he arrived back in the Allied camp, having crossed thirty miles of heavily fortified enemy territory with nearly two hundred POWs in tow, chief among them one Sgt James Barnes.
"Well that - that does rather sound like Steve," Mother says.
-
Or: the Barnes family, during the events of The First Avenger.
Orders came for sailing (ao3) - Ark E, 2k
Summary: Bucky drops into the trench. It’s pitchy black, and he’s good; there’s no warning save the displacement of air. Steve is wedged into a sentry stance beneath the earth, on guard and half-awake, when he feels Bucky come in like wind.
“What’s the secret password?” stage-whispers Steve.
“It’s ‘fuck off.’” Bucky displaces more air, wending Steve-wards. “Didn’t wanna startle you. Hoped you were gettin’ some sleep. You don’t sleep enough, Steve.”
“Whose fault is that?” Steve says, smiling under the ground in the dark. “C’mere.”
Pianissimo (ao3) - Odsbodkins E, 15k
Summary: Steve and Bucky from the 30s to 1945. Inspired by an Avengerkink prompt about Steve and Bucky hiding their relationship.
Sincerely, Your Pal (ao3) - lettered M, 65k
Summary: "[...] lesbians and gay men writing letters to their lovers and friends faced the special problem of wartime censorship. Military censors, of course, cut out all information that might aid the enemy, but this surveillance made it necessary for gay and lesbian correspondents to be careful not to expose their homosexuality. To get around this, gay men befriended sympathetic censors or tricked others by using campy phrases, signing a woman’s name (like Dixie or Daisy), or changing the gender of their friends. Sailors became WAVEs, boyfriends became WACs, Robert became Roberta. There must exist, hidden in closets and attics all over America, a huge literature of these World War II letters between lesbians and between gay men that would tell us even more about this important part of American history." - Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women In World War Two, by Allan Berube
Stars and Moons (ao3) - likeshipsonthesea G, 2k
Summary: “Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?” “Nazi Germany. And we’re borrowing. Take your feet off the dash.”
*~*~*
On a hot day in Germany during World War 2, the Howling Commandos, and more specifically Bucky, teach Steve how to steal a car.
Strangers in the Street (ao3) - crinklefries T, 15k
Summary: (Every five years, Bucky meets the same tall, blond stranger.)
Subjective Histories (ao3) - Odsbodkins M, 11k
Summary: Extracts from materials relating to the official biography of Steve Rogers (A Kid From Brooklyn, Yale University Press, 1999)
The More Things Change (ao3) - Skew T, 9k
Summary: As far as Bucky's concerned, neither Steve's transformation or the events of the war have changed the friendship between them. However, when a mission doesn't quite go to plan, he finds himself making a foolish decision that might change things forever. (NB: contains cartoonish violence, some use of period-appropriate offensive language.)
there's nothing left of you (ao3) - notallbees E, 22k
Summary: Bucky’s having a hard time reconciling Captain America with the friend he left behind in Brooklyn. It’s bad enough that every time he closes his eyes he sees the inside of a torture chamber. Now, every time he opens them again, he sees a stranger with Steve Rogers’ eyes and smile.
the secret circuit home (ao3) - ftmsteverogers E, 3k
Summary: In which Bucky escapes Azzano on his own with the other Howling Commandos, rough around the edges, but alive. He makes it back in time to watch Captain America's godawful performance, not knowing that it's his best friend up there in tights.
Then he hits on him after the show.
to memory now I can't recall (ao3) - Etharei E, 102k
Summary: While on a mission storming a HYDRA facility, James Buchanan Barnes touches one of the many strange alien devices collected by the Red Skull. He does this, in fact, twice— in the past, and in the future.
Next thing he knows, Bucky Barnes is opening his eyes in the 21st century, which is full of great gadgets and coffee, and at least includes his old pal Steve. (And, inexplicably, a different Stark.) Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier finds himself in the middle of World War Two, helping Captain America hunt down HYDRA (which is at least familiar), pretending to be Bucky Barnes (which is not), and figuring out the very noisy group of soldiers who call themselves the Howling Commandos.
You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To (ao3) - EmilianaDarling E, 26k
Summary: “What about you, Barnes?” asks Dugan. The sound of his voice brings Bucky back to the present, dredges him out of memories of a beat-up little apartment with sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Got yourself a girl waiting for you back home?”
There’s an answer on the tip of his tongue, one that he’ll deliver with a cocky grin and a half-laugh and a little shake of his head. But Bucky is exhausted and hungry and so sore it hurts to move, and one of the guys in their platoon fucking died yesterday. His mouth tastes like iodine water and his feet hurt and none of it’s going to get better any time soon, and all at once Bucky misses Steve so badly he can barely see straight.
“Yeah,” Bucky declares abruptly, the word escaping from his mouth before he fully realizes what he’s saying. “Yeah, I do.”
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skygurutraveltourism · 2 months ago
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Burj Al Arab Dubai
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📸 What's Included: 90-minute guided tour of the Burj Al Arab. Welcome drink on arrival 🍸. Shuttle buggy service from Jumeirah Beach. Valet parking available.
🎟️ Tour Packages: Contact us for best price. Optional upgrades: golden cappuccino, dining, or spa experiences.
📍 Location: Burj Al Arab, Jumeirah Beach
🕒Timings: Tours daily from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM.
Book your luxury tour now with @skygurutravel and step into the world of indulgence at the Burj Al Arab—a must-visit place in Dubai!
📞 +971 43478700 | [email protected] 📍 Shop No 15, Al Maskan Bldg, Al Karama, Dubai, U.A.E
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lboogie1906 · 4 months ago
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Peter Gene Hernandez (October 8, 1985), known professionally as Bruno Mars, is a singer-songwriter and record producer. He is accompanied by his band, the Hooligans.
Born and raised in Honolulu, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a musical career. He co-founded the production team The Smeezingtons. He rose to fame buoyed by the success of “Nothin’ on You” and “Billionaire”. He released his debut studio album Doo-Wops & Hooligans. It spawned the international #1 singles “Just the Way You Are”, “Grenade”, and “The Lazy Song”. His second studio album, Unorthodox Jukebox, was his first #1 on the Billboard 200. It amassed two Billboard Hot 100 #1 songs, “Locked Out of Heaven” and “When I Was Your Man”.
He was featured on “Uptown Funk”, which topped various music charts, spending a total of fourteen and seven weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and the UK Singles Chart, respectively. His third studio album, 24K Magic, received seven Grammy Awards, winning the major categories of Album of the Year, Record of the Year, and Song of the Year. The album yielded the top-five singles “24K Magic”, “That’s What I Like”, and a remix of “Finesse”. He and Anderson. Paak, as Silk Sonic, released the collaborative studio album An Evening with Silk Sonic, which was led by the chart-topping single “Leave the Door Open”. It received four Grammy Awards, including Record of the Year and Song of the Year.
He has sold over 130 million records worldwide, making him one of the best-selling music artists of all time. Eight of his songs have reached #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and his concert tours are some of the highest-grossing in history. He has received 15 Grammy Awards, four Brit Awards, eleven American Music Awards, 13 Soul Train Awards, and holds three Guinness World Records, among other accolades. He was featured on Music Week’s Best Songwriters and Billboard’s Greatest of All Time Artists lists and rankings such as the Time 100 and Forbes Celebrity 100. He became the first artist to receive six Diamond-certified songs in the US and has been regarded as a pop icon due to his influential career. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence
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eliteowlonline · 10 months ago
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: 97 Bruno Mars 24K Magic World Tour concert t shirt.
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