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hotchspearl · 23 days ago

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I See You (Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Bau!Reader)

Note: Guys, this is my first fanfiction EVER, so please be nice. Also, english is not only not my first language, but also not my second. It's my THIRD. So again, please consider this while reading. I also write just for fun and am new to the whole Tumblr Game. If you have any ideas/wishes/remarks/or any feedback please send it my way :) I also am planning on making it a series, but am not sure yet. Otherwise, enjoy 🩷

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Bau!Reader

Summary: Y/N, a young profiler with a background in undercover work, joins the BAU after proving her exceptional ability to empathize with and read criminals. However, her time undercover has left her guarded, distrustful, and fiercely independent. From her very first case with the team, she butts heads with Aaron Hotchner, whose strict adherence to protocol clashes with her tendency to trust instinct over rules. What neither of them realize at first is how much they have in common—both carry unresolved grief and trauma, hide their vulnerabilities, and use work as a coping mechanism. Over time, their relationship forms an unspoken bond, with each seeing the other as a mirror of themselves, and maybe a little bit more.

WC: 2248

Warnings: none, I think? just general Criminal Minds violence, mention of a fictional case, just the beginning of an enemies to lovers trope :)), little argument

I See You - Chapter 1: TENSION

The office of the Behavioral Analysis Unit buzzed with the usual controlled chaos. SSA Hotchner sat as stoic as ever at his desk, scanning through the latest case file. His gaze occasionally flicked to the bullpen, where the newest team member, Agent Y/N, was now leaning over her desk. He watched her for a brief moment as she was jotting down a few notes with her usual focused intensity. Young, sharp and undeniably talented, that is how he would describe her. This is why she had not only caught the teams but also Strauss attention, leading to her transfer from her previous undercover work to the BAU. But, something about her grated him – maybe it was a mix of her eagerness, her unrelenting need to prove herself with every move she made or was it just simply the way she seemingly carried a weight she never spoke of?

It was your first case on the new job as the team gathered in the conference room like usual, where Garcia’s presentation filled the screen with crime scene photos. The victims posed in public places, each clutching a single red rose and a card with the phrase: ,Beauty in Death.’

“Four victims in two weeks,” Garcia began. “All found in suburban neighborhoods around Kansas City. No witnesses, no prints, and also no apparent pattern to the timing”.

You quickly rearranged yourself in your seat, reangling the crime scene pictures in front of you, trying to get a different look at them.

“The posing suggests the unsub sees this as a form of… art,” Reid chimed in and you nodded along, gathering your courage for your first contribution between the already seasoned team of profilers.

“Possibly someone with a background in floral design or even photography.”

The team nodded along with you, before Hotchner cleared his throat.

“Wheels up in thirty” he simply said, his voice steady and unwavering.

4 hours and more briefing on the jet later you all landed in Kansas City. You listened from the back of the jet as Hotchner gave the first orders.

“Our priority is identifying the unsub before he escalates even further. Morgan, Prentiss, you’ll canvas the neighborhoods where the bodies were found, try to ask around for some witnesses. JJ, talk to the families. Rossi, Reid head to the medical examiner. Agent Y/N, you and I will interview the guy who called about the second victim. He is a florist – it's not much, but we can go from there.”

You quickly nodded along, gathering your belongings as the jet came to a halt.

The florist, a middle-aged man with a very nervous demeanor, sat across from Hotchner and you in the interrogation room. As Hotchner methodically questioned him, you had the time to do what you knew best, study every move he made, especially the unconscious ones. The man’s body language was easy to read, his hands trembled when asked about the roses, his right eyelid twitching every now and then - but no matter that, he answered Hotch’s questions in a consistent manner. When Hotch pressed him even further on his timeline of the night of the third murder, the man’s stutter grew worse, but you could not see any guilt nor pride in his expression – only fear. As it was your first interrogations, and especially one next to your new boss, you stayed quiet most of the time, keeping your thoughts to yourself for now. But afterwards, in the hallway, you quickly caught up to Hotch, wanting to share the thoughts you had kept to yourself for now.

“I don’t think he’s our guy” you simply stated, looking up to Hotchner as he slowly stopped, turning to face you, his gaze sharp.

“The profile fits. He’s socially isolated, has access to roses and his timeline is questionable. He couldn’t get it straight. What would make you think otherwise?”

As his sharp words left his mouth you had to internally recollect yourself to continue pushing your narrative in front of your boss.

“It’s his language” you stated, maybe a bit too simple, offering no explanation. Scared that it might come off as arrogant you added “When you asked about the roses, he, uhm, didn’t describe them the way someone obsessed with their craft or the idea of ,Beauty in Death’ would do.”

Hotchner’s head tilted just a tiny bit and you took it as your sign to go on. “He wasn’t fixated on the details – no mention of texture, scent, arrangement. He didn’t seem proud of his work, uhm, and, during the timeline questions I got the feeling that his defensiveness was stemming more from fear of being accused of something rather than from hiding guilt, pride, remorse.”

Hotch didn’t say anything for a second, the only reaction was him crossing his arms. You bit your lip, a nervous habit.

“And you think that’s enough to just rule him out?”

“No Sir, that is not what I was implying.” You admitted quickly. “I am just saying, it’s enough to look harder into the other suspects. The one Agent Prentiss called in. The gallery assistant who recently quit after an argument?” you continued, his gaze on you still unwavering.

“The poses just feel theatrical, like the unsub is making a statement. I just think whoever would do something like that would also feel a sense of pride – he doesn’t.”

Hotch stared at you for another moment, his expression unreadable. “Fine. We’ll check into it. But if it leads nowhere, you’ll be the one explaining to the families why we lost time.”

His words stung and you felt your heart beat in your chest wildly. As you watched him walk away, pulling out his phone and probably calling Agent Prentiss, you got an uneasy feeling in your stomach which you couldn’t quite place just yet.

Was he always that harsh? Was it just his modus operandi?

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, as you walked back to the little kitchen area, wanting to grab another cup of tea to calm your nerves. Seconds later you poured hot water into a small cup, your mind still racing as you were slowly but surely starting to second-guess the little argument you just had with your new boss.

Was it worth it? Did I come off as too strong? Too arrogant? Too much?

Your thoughts and mind were focused on the case ahead, but also on the Unit Chief himself. You understood that the team, though having their reservations, would slowly but surely welcome you in with open arms and let you be part of their little family. However, Hotch, as they call him, would not be as eager with having you on the team. You knew that he first wanted you to prove yourself, prove your skills. At the end of the day, you knew that earning his approval, and someday maybe even trust, would be more like a marathon rather than a sprint, but nonetheless you were willing to take the bait.

The day went on and the team split up, each chasing separate threads. Meanwhile, you continued to quietly follow your own instincts about the gallery assistant. You swiped through his online presence and general social media activity while being on the phone with Penelope Garcia, the tech assistant (or goddess as she apparently calls herself). She seemed to be the most fun of them all to be around and you noticed right away that you liked her attitude. Not only because she was cracking jokes left and right, already testing your waters with light teasing, but also because she seemed to be non judgemental, just simply here to help out and make some inappropriate jokes along the way.

As you both finally found some things that were worth mentioning, you approached Hotchner.

“I think the assistant is more than just a connection. I think this is our major suspect”

“We’ve been through this. He has no violent history, no forensic evidence linking him to the crime scenes.”

“Well, uhm, maybe not directly, but with his behavior. It’s erratic. Look, he posted this online just a couple of weeks ago, right about the time the murders started.”

(You pull up a social media post made by the gallery assistant, showing a vague yet still concerning message: “They never understood my vision. Maybe they’ll finally see it.”)

Hotch is skeptical, but listens. “It’s circumstantial at best. We need more to bring him in.” he finally says, and you lick your lips briefly, exhaling in dissatisfaction about the whole situation.

“If we wait, we risk another victim. I’ll keep digging, trying to find something more… resolute, but, I think we need to press him before he escalates further”

Hotch’s frown deepened and you could see how he didn’t like nor approve of your way of speaking to him so… freely.

“I’ll consider it. But I need you to focus on the task assigned to you first. Let’s not jump ahead without solid evidence.”

Your jaw tightens, but you nods curtly, leaving to continue your ,assigned’ work without saying anything else in return.

Hours later, Morgan and Prentiss report finding surveillance footage near one of the crime scenes. In the background the car of the gallery assistant can be clearly seen, Sam Nolan, parked just a block away from where the third body was discovered.

This gladly, is enough for Hotchner to bring him in for questioning. This time, Hotchner and Rossi lead the interrogation while you watch from the observation room with Reid.

Nolan denies any involvement, of course, but grows agitated quite quickly, when both Agents press him about the argument he had at the gallery, which resulted in him quitting his job.

You could see how Hotchners gaze becomes more doubtful of the person in front of him, slowly but surely catching on with his strange behavior and inconsistencies.

“He’s treating the victims like they’re part of his ,art’. That’s why he’s so defensive. It’s not just simple murder to him – it’s his way of controlling how they’re remembered.”

Reid nods along with you. “That aligns with the unsub’s need for public recognition. He wants to be acknowledged more than anything else, he wants to finally be seen for the great artist he is.”

Before you could think, you act out of impulse and find yourself stepping into the interrogation room. Hotch raises an eyebrow at you, but gives you room to speak. And you take it without missing a heartbeat.

“Sam, I understand. Really. They didn’t see your vision. They dismissed your work, I mean, how could they? But, now-, now, you finally found a way to make them look at it, didn’t you?”

Nolan shifted in his seat, visibly unsettled by the approach you had going on. “What are you talking about?”

“The roses, the poses – it all is so intentional, so theatrical, so beautiful” you forced the last word out of yourself “you weren't just killing them, you were preserving them, turning them into your own legacy” you continued as Nolan grew silent, his eyes focused on you, listening.

“This was your way of having control. Having control over how they will be remembered. Forever in the light that you put them in, as they took their last breath. That is why it is so beautiful. Beauty in Death.”

Hotch watched Nolan closely, internally very impressed by your boldness, strategy and also performance. Nolan slowly starts to falter, his need to be understood, seen and admired overriding all his defenses in a heartbeat.

“They never appreciated it. I had to show them…show everyone” he finally said, his voice breaking, before his façade crumbled completely and he confessed.

You breathed a collective sigh of relief, your eyes quickly locking with Agent Rossi’s, who gave you a satisfied and approving look, before you put your hand on the doorknob and exited the interrogation room just as quickly as you came.

Back home at the office, the team was scattered at their usual places (at least you supposed they were usual), chatting about something completely unrelated to the case you all just solved but rather personal stories they finally could catch each other up on. You sat at your desk, organizing your notes, when you heard footsteps approach you. With your next inhale his cologne filled your nose, you turned your head, watching Hotchner approach you.

“You followed your instincts on this one. Even when I wasn’t fully convinced.”

You looked up, surprised. “I just wanted to make sure we don’t miss anything.” You added simply.

“You didn’t. That was good work.” He finally said, his voice softer than usual.

You couldn’t hide a smile now. “Thank you”

Hotch hesitated for a moment, before speaking up again.

“You remind me of someone – someone who also couldn’t let things go until they were sure everything was accounted for.”

“And…is that a good thing?” you asked, feeling the tension in you relax a little bit.

He smiled faintly, before pressing his lips together, giving you a curt nod.

“See you tomorrow, Agent Y/N.” he finally said, before walking off, taking the stairs to his office. You watched him waving Morgan and Prentiss goodbye as they left for the day, as he disappeared behind his closed door seconds later. Through the little window you watched him take off his suit jacket and neatly hang it over his chair, sitting down at his desk and scanning through the latest case file.

#aaron hotchner x reader #ssa aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #hotch #hotch x you #thomas gibson #criminal minds #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x bau!reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x you #enemies to lovers

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homelanderbutbig · 7 months ago

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I Love You Too (G/T Homelander x Reader)

2248 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Beginnings of a relationship.

When you and Homelander officially became a couple.

Homelander has had this event burned into his brain, how exactly he wanted it to go. It would be like a scene straight out of the movies. You would be whisked away to a secluded beach by a horse-drawn carriage, where a private band would be playing your favourite song. You would walk along the rose petal covered sand to his waiting arms, where he would confess his love for you. You would return his feelings, and ask him to be your boyfriend. Of course he would graciously say yes, as if this wasn't all a part of his master plan. Lastly, you would kiss him as doves fly above your heads, and the starry sky is filled with fireworks.

He's been plotting like a madman all week, doing his damndest to set this up. A fairytale beginning to a relationship with you, as is befitting of a man of his impeccable standards.

And yet, just like everything else in his life, nothing ever goes as he plans. The people he's placed his faith in to get this together for him are not living up to his expectations. He's spending more and more time trying to fix their mistakes, to the point where it's consuming his every waking thought. Every failure keeps eating away at his resolution, to the point where he doesn't know if he should even go through with it anymore. If it isn't perfect, would you even accept his passionate admissions?

He's been avoiding you all day. It's a reality that's pretty hard to miss, considering he's the tallest man you've ever known. As the face of Vought's superhero team, the absence of his presence is odd. Or at least, it's odd that he seems to solely be eluding you. You happened to ask some of your co-workers who confirmed that Homelander was in fact in the Tower today, only furthering your suspicions. At least something serious didn't happen to him, but it doesn't make you worry any less that something's wrong.

When your shift ends in the evening, you do as you normally would and take the elevator up to his penthouse. You weren't certain that he would be there, but you're relieved to see him sitting on his couch in the living room. Regardless, he isn't his normal cheery self. He is a bundle of nerves taken the form of a man; his body language is so tense it's almost as if he hopes you'll leave by ignoring you. But you aren't that easy to deter.

"Hey Homelander, I didn't see you today. I was worried," you remark while you hop up onto the couch, taking your seat on the cushion next to him. He still won't acknowledge you, instead looking down at his fidgeting thumbs. His eyes are red and puffy; evidently he's been crying alone, only furthering your concern that there's something significant bothering him.

"You look like you have something on your mind," you say, tilting your head up at him. You place a hand on his thigh, as is customary when you need to coax the worries out of him. "It must be pretty important if you didn't want to talk to me about it. You know you can tell me anything, I won't judge you."

"I-I…" he starts, but quickly cuts himself off. His breathing stutters as he attempts to steady his composure. This was not how he wanted this moment to happen, with him grovelling at your feet and you holding the power over him. He is the world's strongest supe; he is the one who should be in control, not you, a measly human.

"I'm here for you, take your time," you reassure him, grasping his index and middle finger with your hand. Those two big fingers are all that will fit in your palm, but you still squeeze with all your might, making sure that he feels your encouragement.

Glancing down at you, Homelander feels a small spark setting his heart aflame. Your eyes, shining so brightly, remind him of why he's even in this current position. Why he's been fretting in secret all week. That boost of confidence has returned, as it initially did when he first wanted to even plan all this.

This is his only chance.

"I… I-I… I l-love you…" he finally blurts out, immediately shutting his eyes tight as the weight of his words hits him like a ton of bricks. The regret is instantaneous, his self-consciousness wasting no time at eating away his bravado. He can't believe he actually said it. He's just exposed the only weakness an invincible supe like him has, his desire for your acceptance.

The silence in the penthouse is deafening. And to make matters worse, you haven't said 'I love you' back. You aren't saying anything. Why aren't you saying anything? All he wants right now is to get up and fly away, far far away, but he can't. He can't do anything but sit and let his anxiety overtake his body, freezing him solid.

This was not the problem you were expecting was plaguing Homelander's mind. He got himself this worked up… over you? But then you start to really think about it. How close you've gotten to him over these last few weeks, and how your friendship has blossomed into something much more. He makes you happy by just grinning down at you when you visit him. It brightens up your day talking to him, seeing his canines poke out when he smiles, and hearing his heartfelt laughs as he listens to your every word. You can't help but think about him even when he's gone. The way that, despite your immense height difference, you've never felt more in sync with anyone like you do with him. It's as if he completes you, and makes you whole. He fills a part of you that's always felt empty.

You know you feel the same way he does. You know what you have to do.

Carefully, you maneuver yourself to kneel on top of his lap so your face is directly in front of his, completely catching him off-guard. He wasn't expecting this sudden seizure of control from you, but he raises his large hands to your back to keep you from falling off. At least now he's mentally back down to earth, focusing on your every move.

You are so close that you can see the worry etched into every nook and cranny of his face. His blue eyes are wide and twitching subtly, his eyebrows are pinched together stiffly, and his lips are quivering from what he's hoping will happen next.

"I… I love you too", you state matter-of-factly, unable to hide your smile at how his childlike innocence is peering straight back at you. At how nonchalantly you've shaken him straight to his core with four simple words.

And with your final devious chess move, you lean forward to kiss him.

You expected this to be a short and sweet smooch to affirm the beginning of your relationship. However, the second Homelander feels your lips he cannot help but push for more, so desperate for your affection. He's nearly moaning from the flood of intense emotions churning inside him, the bubble irrevocably bursting from the moment that he's been waiting for all night. You love him too, how can he not react so strongly? His kiss is forceful, almost like he's trying to smother you with his love, just so there's nothing else you'll ever think about but him.

You struggle to articulate even a basic sentence against his mouth, desperately swatting at his chest to get his attention. You lack the strength to hurt him, but luckily he still notices your light thumps against his suit and reluctantly pulls back.

Your face is flushed and breathing haggard, having been left flustered from how you were unable to fight against him proving his devotion. Not only are his lips twice the size of yours, but you also couldn't back away with his immovable hands keeping you in place. Just another little reminder of the disparity between Homelander and the rest of humanity; you truly are utterly powerless compared to the eight foot tall indestructible superhero you're currently seated on.

His jaw becomes rigid as he stares at your expression, until he looks away when he can no longer take in the fear he perceives. Tears are once again welling up in his eyes, his ears are ringing loudly, and his heart is freefalling down into the pit of his stomach. He's fucked up. He's ruined the moment. He's shown you the monster that lurks within himself, the one that can never be satiated.

But despite it all, despite his inner turmoil, despite the voices in his head telling him your relationship is over before it even got started… he feels you place a hand on his cheek.

Your demeanour is the opposite of Homelander's. What you see in front of you is a man fighting to keep the tears from falling, so broken from a deficiency of love. A man who could never stop those he cherished from abandoning him when he gave them his heart on a silver platter. What he sees in front of him is the only person in the world who cares enough to stay.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. That kiss was… was just a bit too much for me," you explain sympathetically, using your fingers to wipe away the tears that dare stain his beautiful face. You can sense the tension ease ever so slightly with each touch to his cheeks as he revels in the feeling of your soft skin. He can't say he's felt someone touch him so sweetly like that in a long time.

"Do you wanna kiss me again?" you ask, repositioning both of your hands to stroke along his jawline. Always chasing after your affections, he leans closer towards you and gives a very hesitant nod, apprehensively swallowing hard from the thought of what he should be anticipating.

"Let's do it more like this," you whisper as you move forward to kiss him. This time you take the lead, purposefully going slow and delicate. He follows your pace instantly, eyes fluttering closed while he sinks into your lips like you hold all the power in the universe.

Homelander's never been kissed like this before, without a proverbial carrot being dangled in his front of his face. Whenever there's a scrap of romance on the line he always must face a thousand trials, go through a series of tests that he must pass without any errors lest it be withheld from him. But not now. Your kiss provides him with the love and care he's fought his whole life for, the tenderness he's always dreamed of experiencing. And you are reciprocating his wants, his needs right back.

Lifting your hands up to his hair you start combing through his undercut, giving him the little scratches that you know make him feel good. A whimper builds from deep in his throat as you run your nails along his scalp, and it doesn't take long for his whines to evolve into flat-out purring.

Eventually, he breaks the kiss to bury his head into the crook of your neck, savouring the way you scratch his hair. His deep voice rumbles through your body as he nuzzles himself further into you, emitting content hums while he melts into your warmth. If there's a heaven, Homelander thinks he's found it.

He wraps his arms around your back, spreading his fingers along your shoulders as he pulls you closer. He embraces you firmly, but not enough that you feel immobile. He's learned his lesson not to make you feel like you can't escape from his grasp, he wants you to be comfortable with him.

"You know, you don't need to do some grand display to show me that you love me," you comment softly. "You do it every day, just by being yourself. And that's enough. You will always be enough."

Your words are like honey to his ears, almost enough to make him start crying again. When he's with you, he feels a level of trust that he can't put into words. You understand him better than anyone else ever could. He's safe with you, as you are with him.

"I-I… love… you," he mumbles quietly, still having a bit of trouble getting that sentence out. It's been such a long time since he's said that, and truly meant it.

"I love you too," you chuckle, kissing the top of his head.

"I… love you," he replies, feeling confidence build up within himself once more. This phrase is starting to not be so hard to say, each time you say it back.

"I love you too," you respond, beaming when you sense a shy grin forming on your shoulder.

The two of you repeat this back and forth for a while, until your words blend together into one, and you fall asleep in each other's arms. This might not have been the way Homelander wanted this evening to go, but somehow… it feels right. In its own special way, it turned out better than he could have ever imagined. Because despite the tears and anxiety, from this moment on, he no longer has to cast his love out to an neverending abyss of hate. Now, he has someone to answer his call.

He has you.

#the boys #the boys tv #homelander #homelander x reader #g/t #size difference #my writing

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