#2017 fic review
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alright, this is one HELL of a shot in the dark, but...
I'm trying to find the origin fic of this song. "Too Big For Us" was a song that was included at the end of a Voltron Legendary Defender fic and I cannot for the life of me find the story.
There is every chance that this fic was deleted.
From what I remember, it was a Lance-centric 5+1 about him being the one to act as support for the others (and then the team supporting him in turn). I'm 99% sure it was on FFN since I didn't really start reading fics on AO3 until 2019-ish. The song might've been something put in an author's note as a broken up YouTube link thanks to no outside links allowed on FFN. (It... COULD have been Hunk as the focus character? but I'm pretty sure it was Lance. I've been telling myself it was Lance as the focus at least. god if it ends up being hunk and ) There weren't any ships as far as I remember either.
The file says it was modified on February 19th, 2017, which I assume is the day I downloaded it or the day it was published, seeing as the listed "creation" date is in March 2022 and I know I've had it for longer than that. If I'm remembering things right, it was posted as part of the last chapter of the fic, because it was a multichapter (I'm... slightly less confident in the multichapter status but I'm pretty sure it was?)
The order characters are referenced in the song was also the order they were in each chapter... but I have no idea which section Pidge is supposed to be @~@ part of me says I was annoyed/confused about the lack of a Pidge section the first time around too but it's been like 6 years so idk how much of that thought I actually believe. Otherwise, I think the order is Hunk, Keith, Allura & Coran, Shiro, Lance, and Pidge was somewhere in the middle.
The lyrics, as best I can make them out, are under the cut. A few lines are covered up in just the wrong way by the piano chords so I'm sort of guessing with the words in the brackets. (The mixing really isn't the best but I have no room to complain since I'm not a musician of any variety)
Together we sit, as he relearns how to breathe His heart races with panic, deep set anxiety And demons fill his head as he fights off another's Ignore what still hurts as the light of hope is smothered
A boy in a bubble made of experience and fears A knife in hand and heart to protect him from tears Because bonds only seem to lead to pain Until someone can teach him to connect again
And in the end they'll come to me Cause everybody does And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
A family in all but name, they say [stare??] comes in pairs A gentle touch is calming as a [??? braiding] hair When there is too much to do [without?] doing too much Go to him for support, drown their sorrow with a laugh
He's a fellow protector, with secrets to hide Whose fears and insecurities surface in the dead of night He's in need of help but doesn't want to burden That finds a companion, someone to confide in
And in the end they'll come to me Cause everybody does And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
But sometimes your strength Could use some strength of their own, before it's too late Cause even the strongest of pillars Can crumble under the weight
But in the end they'll come to me Cause they know I need some love And we'll fight together Cry together Wipe each other's eyes together In a war too big for us A war too big for us
#vld#voltron legendary defender#voltron: legendary defender#fic finder#fic help#lance mcclain#i'm not even really in the fandom anymore but it came up in my music shuffle and i really want to find the source#ngl part of the reason i got sucked back into the song was ninjago ^^; the chorus is highly applicable to other series#but trust me when i say i SEARCHED for this. dug through the dead links in my likes playlist on the wayback machine#checked reviews i'd left on fics (the start of 2017 was barely in-range) but if the fic was deleted then so was my comment left on it#searched through the FFN fics themselves from feb 2017 to feb 2018 with the only filters being ''complete'' and ''more than 5k''#tried to sift through automated emails from FFN about new chapters being posted but i think i read the fic when it was already completed#nothing. to be fair it COULD'VE been one of the links the wayback machine didn't archive at the time but there's no way of knowing for sure#really wish the lyrics were a bit clearer but piano and fast words make that harder :/#but yeah if you know more please tell me#i spent a good couple hours searching for this instead of studying or doing homework because skewed priorities are the only kind i have#send help
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Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14
And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)
(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff
Words: 5.8K
TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3
September 2017
Azzi: just got home :)
It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison.
Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself.
But then Azzi picks up on the second one.
And really it would be rude to hang up.
“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen.
“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”
Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”
“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”
“Yeah I’m hanging up-”
“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”
Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips.
“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs.
“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”
“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”
“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission.
Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”
It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all.
“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach.
“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”
There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness.
“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”
“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough.
“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”
“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out.
Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”
Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry.
“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”
It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance.
“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”
Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too.
“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first.
“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”
Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”
“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.
“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”
“Only hurts from carrying my team.”
“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”
“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”
Azzi huffs, “Paige.”
“Azzi,” Paige hums.
“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige.
“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes.
“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly, scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)
“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”
And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige.
“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence.
There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind.
“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”
Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”
“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”
“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts.
“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”
“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it.
“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”
“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”
“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.
“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”
For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”
“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”
And Azzi does. All night.
Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box.
To her royal highness,
Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do.
~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~
(And you better show up Bueckers)
Yours,
Azzi
February 2033
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”
Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”
“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is.
Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible.
Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand.
And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else.
“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”
“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said.
“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”
Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”
“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”
“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender.
“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body.
“Ice-” she begins.
But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”
“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum.
“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”
“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips.
“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”
“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself.
“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters.
“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.
“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK.
“A matter of time till what?”
“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”
***
The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today. From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her.
“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”
Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments.
“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all.
The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance.
“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”
“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm.
Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”
“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”
“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.
“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple.
“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”
“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this.
“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”
Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference.
***
Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is.
“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter.
“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation.
“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”
Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”
“Oliv-”
“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”
“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”
“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’
“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”
“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”
***
It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige.
She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”
“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles.
“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body.
“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”
Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”
“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly.
“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow.
“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”
“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”
Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”
“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.
“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly.
As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now.
“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”
“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”
Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”
“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go, really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”
Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe.
“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”
“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk.
Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”
“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”
Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”
“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie.
“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look
“But Mama-”
“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too.
“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”
“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”
“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”
“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”
With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out.
“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch.
Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”
“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”
Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”
“I have connections.”
“You talked to Ice.”
“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”
“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”
“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly.
“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses
Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”
“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”
Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”
“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”
Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”
“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”
“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself.
“What is?”
“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”
Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”
There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold.
Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.
“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her.
“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”
“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple.
“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.
“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”
“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people.
“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone.
Paige smiles, “of course you can.”
“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”
“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone.
“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”
Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”
I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever.
“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand.
“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone.
“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”
Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.
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do you have comic recs for someone who wants to get into tim and timkon? I read superman comics but your fic made me wanna know more about this character who makes me want to eat metal with how weird and scary he is (affectionate)
hello! and welcome to the “weird scary little guy who makes you want to eat metal” (or perhaps put him in a salad spinner) club
tim has many, many comics, so for the purposes of this i’ll go with some big arcs/series and then some random personal favs
a lonely place of dying (1989): aka tim’s intro, in which 13 y/o tim engages in his favorite pastime (stalking dick grayson), tries to be a family therapist, and somehow ends up in a cape and pointy boots at the end of it.
robin (1993): so much content spanning so many batman plotlines; this is just issue after issue of tim being the most 90s kid to ever 90s kid (and then 00s kid to ever 00s kid). also much of it is written by chuck dixon, who is good at being so homophobic that the characters loop right back around to being queer.
young justice (1998): for both tim and kon (and bart and cassie and the whole yj crew)! also featuring tim and kon both wearing gloves that are way too big for them. no idea what's going on there but it's kind of like when puppies have giant paws they haven't grown into yet.
red robin (2009): THE tim comic to me, partially because marcus to draws most of it (issue 6 on i believe) and the way he draws tim here is peak tim to me, and partially because tim is just balls to the wall bonkers in fucking yonkers the whole series. this spans his brucequest and damian becoming robin (and damian in this is so!! and dick is so!!) while tim takes his shaky next steps. he’s in his messy bitch era but also stuck at 17(?) so that just means he’s randomly making out with sort-of-adversaries on rooftops and thinking longingly of kon and getting fake engaged(??) to a girl he can barely ask on a first date. (it has scant few but still some good timkon moments here and there.) (and speaking of marcus to: this and this.)
a lonely place of living (detective comics) (2017): an arc in which everyone thought tim was dead but surprise! he was just stuck in a pocket dimension prison and now he has to come back and stop gun batman (again). feat. tim being wildly competent from page one. kon is, iirc, currently erased from the timeline but never fear, tim still manages to find a way to think about him.
random/short comics:
WF3: superboy & robin (1996): tim & kon solve a case together in a two-parter that is, as described by a reviewer on its league of comic geeks entry, "…a pretty fun meet cute, I mean team-up…" (basically: see above re: chuck dixon.)
knight terrors: robin (2023): a two-parter in which tim and jason are trapped in a sentient nightmare together. if you like those vibes definitely check out this fic.
nightwing (1996) #25: tim being an annoying little brother is something that can be so personal—
#i'm sure i left out so many good ones here#also welcoming recs if anyone has more favs#tim drake#timkon#comics#asks#i linked to the comics' dc pages (or one fan wiki page) because googling comic series is such a headache sometimes#so wanted to confirm which ones#comic rec
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finished veilguard finally 💆 if you have a pc with parts from 2017 and no ssd, know you did not struggle through the load errors and preset character bugs alone
some thoughts for closure (mostly negative from a place of love)
Despite the preceding 3 games all looking, sounding, and feeling different gameplay-wise, as someone who picked up the series in 2016 and played them back to back, i felt like they all shared the same scope and the same enjoyment of the setting and had stories that engaged with that setting in a way that was eager to keep exploring it. All 3 games had hook moments for me, either in a major plot development or a presentation gimmick that made me want to continue and made my character feel unique to my player experience. Veilguard never hooked me and broke my immersion constantly. I kept feeling like the script was reluctant or embarrassed to be taking place in The Dragon Age Setting. Which sucks because I like it there and want to play in it. It felt stripped down and very removed from the world of the last 3 games. And I mean. like everyone, I’ve been following the development hell, reading dev responses, the ama, looking at the scrapped joplin art concepts. I can see the shape of what it might have been but it’s too big a gap for me to want to play in and do any headcanon fic-writing work on my own. I had a few ideas early on but the game overall left me feeling burnt out on trying to… bridge the gap on my lack of immersion. My enjoyment shouldn’t have to hinge solely on headcanons. For the previous games, the foundations were strong enough that headcanons were an extra sauce on top of what we were given. I really didn’t feel like a mover in this story.
A lot of ppl have better articulated more precise complaints and I don’t have it in me to sit in deep contemplation and type up a full review 😭 everything I enjoyed about the game, there wasn’t enough of. It’s like I can see the rough idea of Rook being a foil to Solas, but I did not Feel It in the gameplay or the writing or the interactions and the options given to me to play. The regret prison was cool, but i wish it had the depth to consider Rook’s faction, their exile, their ever becoming Rook at all. I wish the team had had time to sit and invent more Thedas-specific, setting-informed gender terminology. I wish I wish I wish!
I think most of my enjoyment now is derived from seeing others’ ocs and designs within the setting. Wardens hawkes inquisitors rooks yay. I think I will need a very long break before I make any new fanart myself (impossible to say for sure) but I don’t like. Hate it now. And I love what the series has done for my past artistic improvement and inspiration/influence. The games are important to me and I’m just disappointed ahgkskgkd
Love dragon age. Going to stare at my screenshots folder for the entire series and not say another word
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Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.
(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ��️
I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???
oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.
So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.
however.
I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.
however.
I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.
however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?
then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.
so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.
phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.
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Fics I Enjoyed in January - DC Comics Fic Rec List Part 2
I am still neck-deep in DC fandom this month and the fics have been so so good. Unlike last time, I am too tired to write mini summaries/reviews, so I'm going to feature my favorite quote from each fic instead.
My first DC Comics fic rec list is here!
Floor Plans by @oh-mother-of-darkness (Teen & Up, 1k, 2016) “I really didn’t want to die,” he finished. “I was kind of hoping if I laid here long enough, I would remember what that felt like.”
Losing two brothers in six months takes an emotional toll.
almost right by @bitimdrake (Teen & Up, 3k, 2020) He desperately wishes that he didn’t know what Dick’s cheekbone feels like under a gauntleted fist.
Bruce sucks in a breath, hand raising to fix the cowl. Dick flinches back.
but more with love by @danishsweethearts (Teen & Up, 3k, 2022) Dick wakes up one morning, groggy from a dream that he thinks might’ve been about the circus and also about his favourite car and also about how lonely he is, and realizes that he can’t remember what his mother’s voice sounds like anymore.
O Robin, Robin, wherefore art thou Robin?
The Mechanics of a Hug by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 4k, 2017) “You know… that crushing sense of depression? Like,” Dick chews his lip. “It’s. A physical weight. Makes it hard to breathe?” “Yeah,” Tim says, soft. He smiles, wryly. “I sort of hoped you didn’t, though.”
“So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.”
No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 1k, 2020) Tim’s eyes go even wider. “You stole my organs?” “Technically,” Jason chimes in, “the doctors stole your organs. We just gave them permission.”
Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?” Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”
The Wind Sits in the Shoulder of Your Sail by @birdchildsnest (Teen & Up, 7k, 2020) “Oh my god. Bruce. I can’t even tell if you’re serious. When everybody finally eats the rich—they’re going to eat you first.”
At least, back then, Tim had barely been a teenager. He could almost forgive his own volatility. And he’d been smart enough (scared enough?) not to tell Jack that he didn’t need him. What was his excuse now? Bruce was his dad (at least, in the legal sense), but (surprise, surprise) it turned out that Tim wasn’t any better at being a son. Or Tim and Bruce still have some things to sort through after the adoption.
I Left My Conscience On Your Front Doorstep by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 21k, 2022) He doesn’t want to be loved if being loved is like this.
"I think I'm leaving," Dick whispers. "I think I'm not coming back."
bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna do) ♫ by @drakefeathers (Teen & Up, 20k, 2014) "They live their lives thinking they can charge through the city with the right to hurt and kill and destroy as many lives as they want. And they do it all without a shred of remorse." “But—” Damian begins, brow furrowed in confusion. “Isn’t that like you?”
a Jason and Damian as Batman and Robin AU!! featuring a bunch of graffiti, a rival dynamic duo, and Cat Jason (a cat named Jason).
The Biggest Mistake by @oh-mother-of-darkness (General Audiences, 1k, 2016) “I could ground him anyway, if it would make you feel better.” “He only said it because I called him ‘a garbage can so ineffective it actually became garbage.’”
"You know what really needs to be addressed? Bruce's truly terrible treatment of Damian." -Me, on a daily basis
been a number and a name by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 35k, 2023) “Turns out if you just say ‘spacetime’ until people’s eyes glaze over they don’t really question anything you say. Also, somehow nobody expects me to be able to actually do enough math to explain it.”
On a field trip, Robin has a close encounter with the newest super in Metropolis, only to discover the hard way that Superboy secretly works for Lex Luthor. They agree to work together on a plan to free Superboy from Luthor’s hold, but Robin isn’t sure how far he can trust him—and his developing feelings only make things more complicated.
clean it like you mean it by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 70k, 2024) "Wait, ugh, you're not my dead dad, right? If I'm getting a dying vision of my dead dad I want a do-over because he suuuuucked."
When Gotham's crooks have to scrub down their lairs, who do they call? Jason Todd, Gotham's first and only underworld crime scene cleaning specialist. He's spent his life dodging the Bat, but after a chance encounter he saves Robin's life. Tim Drake finds himself drawn to the conflicted rogue, and soon Jason becomes Robin's street informant. But they can only stay on opposite sides of the law for so long before something breaks.
3:16 by @wufflesvetinari (Teen & Up, 70k (WIP), 2023) “Try to decouple one thing from the other. I’m proud of you, but ice cream isn’t my grand statement about whether you’ve been good or bad today. Good things are good. Happiness is precious. Sometimes you just want caramel chocolate chip.”
The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)
wolf-king of rome by @mysterycitrus (Not Rated, 25k, 2024) “You go after Joker, but you don’t kill him, because it’s not about the Joker dying, it’s about Bruce breaking his code for you. It’s about Bruce loving you enough to change himself for the worse. It’s about your idea of grieving.”
Jason doesn’t fear Dick Grayson. Fear itself has changed shape for him, since his return from the Pit - it tastes of dirt in his mouth, of drowning, of fire and blood and laughter, more than a tangible face. Still, he’d be stupid not to be cautious. Dick liked playing on an uneven field, and would do anything to keep him off balance, so he just had to stay focused. That’s the nature of the armistice, both waiting for the other to make a move. It’s like balancing on the head of a pin.
Declensions by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 13k, 2018) “Do not tell them your name. Do as I did to survive. I lied. I have always lied. Make one up. Do not let them have you. Say your name is…is…is…Richard Grayson. Or something. They are going to steal you; do not give them anything to steal.”
“My father,” Dick says, “worked the rope. It cut him. His hands were never clean.”
Passiontide by @bigdvmnhero (Teen & Up, 5k, 2025) Despite its faults, the day had tried to be good. He felt young, like someone's son.
On the 96th day Bruce didn't call, Dick remembered their old game. Three things he knew: 1) In three months, it would be Dick's death anniversary; 2) Bruce was still missing his check-ins; 3) Here Dick was, persisting. Imagine the things I'd survive, Dick thought distantly, if I loved Bruce less. Or: Agent 37 and his various crises of faith, on Day 277 at Spyral, Day 150, and Day -0.
the time you won your town the race by @silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 4k (WIP), 2022) Tim. Tim is Dick’s. Death sharpens, clarifies these things. Who will receive the body, decide on the funeral, receive condolences, make all the decisions that matter. No one has questioned it, not even Tim’s friends. There’s a terrible clarity about death. If Dick said, let’s burn everything he owned, Alfred would do it.
He doesn’t know exactly what Tim would say. But he knows what Tim would do. Tim dies. Dick doesn’t take death for an answer. A Red Robin 12 AU.
door, opening by @cowboysorceror (Mature, 70k (WIP), 2024) Dick, with the keys to every locked door Jason has ever tried to open, tucked inside the cradle of his skull; all of that, snuffed out like a candle.
It’s barely audible, but he knows what he heard. A short, four-note whistle, chirping down – E, C#, then jumping up to A, F#, a little trill on the finish. He waits a moment, head turned slightly towards the dim shapes of storage containers between him and the ramp, eyes straining against the blackness. Long, stretching seconds. There it is again. His gloved hand, prickling with cold, closes into a fist. It’s a wood thrush. A small North American songbird that doesn’t sing at night, doesn’t live in the city. He knows what it means. It means hold, steady, not yet. It means wait for me, I’m behind you.
#fic recs#fanfiction#dc comics#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#kon el#timkon#god i read so many emotionally devastating fics this month my whole soul is a shattered wreck#Floor Plans is my favorite by that author read it back in high school and never forgot will always be haunted by the Tim on the floor fic#almost right hit WAY too close to home uhhhhh maybe i should acquire a therapist#but more with love is 100% how I'd want Dick telling his family about the origins of Robin to go down in canon#(and is also a fic about Bruce fucking up but his relationship with Dick still being repairable which i. desperately needed this month#after reading many MANY other fics where It Will Never Be Okay Between Them (And That's The Point))#I Left My Conscience On Your Front Doorstep aka yet another fic that has made me be like hmmmm maybe i need therapy for my father issues#been a number and a name aka delightful 90s references AND Kon's origin being the Death of Superman animated movies#(my FAV version of his origin ever) AND Tim crossdressing??? rlly what more could u ask for in a Timkon fic chefs kiss#wolf-king of rome literally had me writing an essay to multiple friends explaining how galaxy brained this fic is#the themes of that whole fic series (the body is a haunted house) are once again therapy inducing im rotating them in my mind#Declensions is just straight up literature they just weren't writing Dick fic like this when i was in high school i feel blessed#the time you won your town the race was the only silverwhittlingknife fic I hadn't read yet and oh my god the SCREAMS i SCRAMPT#it was so so hard to pick a favorite quote from door opening that fic has got some spectacular prose#some other quotes I strongly considered for that fic:#“Jason worries sometimes that there’s a piece of him that will be fifteen forever calcified like a little black pearl”#“Gotham is a shade a moon-pale queen withered by the grief of the centuries the crypt of the empire”
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I got good news on the academic front yesterday, and although I'm a bit ".......?" about it, it's very cool.
So now I'm thinking about how much fun I had back in 2011 (when I was an undergrad!) writing a fic where a sketchy academic in the distant future hatches a theory that Darth Vader was .............. *drumroll* Anakin Skywalker.
But also, while her monograph is daring and there's some good evidence for it, a lot of this scholar's research is pretty shoddy. The fic is not the original scholar's take but a(n also dubious) critical anonymous review of it.
Then, in 2017 (this would be after I got my MA), I was prompted to write a sequel, I think by @beatrice-otter. I wrote and posted the sequel in which a third scholar, this one actually willing to give her name, has done research in Tatooine for several years and condemns the first scholar's total lack of engagement with Tatooinian sources or knowledge.
I doubt I'll write more of that specific verse, but re-reading is like ... hmm, my career path is not exactly a shocking revelation.
#i have a meeting later today about doing archival work and i just remembered the fic title. lol.#okay past elizabeth#anghraine babbles#ivory tower blogging#star wars#fic talk#fic talk: the vader archives
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Year in Review
In 2024 I posted 4 fics at 53,035 words.
Previous years:
2023: 4 fics at 58,153 words
2022: 4 fics at 45,096 words.
2021: 3 fics posted, 55,788 words.
2020: 7 or 10 fics posted, 125,738 words.
2019: 7 fics posted, 72,149 words.
2018: 7 fics posted, 87,752 words
2016: 9 fics posted, 51,643 words
2017: 9 fics posted, 115,336 words
2016: 9 fics posted, 51,653 words
In total, 52 fics posted to Ao3.
Thrones, Dominions
31,420 words, explicit, Thrawn/Mara/Luke
I finally wrapped up the Triumvirate verse with a big flashy finale (and bound it, too). I started Triumvirate in 2019, which means I've spent six years on this series, and that blows my mind a little. (a lot).
Will there be more Triumvirate stories? I genuinely hope that other writers will take up the torch and write more fic for all fans of the series. I’m not sure if I’ll write any more myself. It could happen. But for now, I’m happy to let this series rest.
An Oral History of the Ewok Bikers of Endor
4,115, gen, an Uncommon Hazards fic
I pitched three story ideas to the From A Legends Point of View fic collection, and this is the concept they accepted. It takes an idea from the Uncommon Hazards series, that post-Endor, Ewoks have immigrated to Coruscant and started an illegal swoop racing industry.
As I began to write it, I realized that the fic challenge required 5k and this story wasn't much more than a 3k concept. I stretched it out to 4. I'm not sure that this story was exactly what the mods had in mind, but it was fun finding ways to bring in characters and reference different types of media.
A Smuggler’s Guide to Joining the Rebellion
14,355 words so far, gen, the sequel to The Things You Find on Tatooine.
I wanted to get this fic through all of ANH by the end of the year, but my brain didn't cooperate and I ran out of time. But Smuggler's Guide has been a fun distraction to carry through into 2025.
The Coruscant Job
3,145, gen, Fenig Nabon/Ghitsa Dogder
Who? you may ask. Why, the super obscure con artist team that appeared in three short stories in the 90s. AKA the Fenig Nabon/Ghitsa Dogder fic literally no one asked for, because no one even knows who these characters ARE. This was another idea I pitched to the FALPOV challenge, and while it wasn't selected, I wanted to write it anyway. It turns out that was a good decision, because what I wrote wouldn't have followed all of the FALPOV rules. (My idea moves their timeline forward and retcons the story “Credit for Your Thoughts.”)
GOALS FOR 2025
Finish A Smuggler’s Guide to Joining the Rebellion (teen, Luke/Mara) The ongoing project. Progress: five chapters posted, uhhhh lots of scraps and and partial drafts in a doc.
Lando Calrissian and the Jewel of Andara (gen, Lando/Karrde, Luke/Mara) The Lando and Mara heist romcom I’ve been promising forever. Will 2025 finally be this fic's year??? at this point, I don't even know. Progress: three chapters drafted, but in need of heavy revision.
Experiments (teen? Luke/Mara) I honestly started to think this fic was dead dead, but this year I dusted off the old files and finished drafting the first two chapters. What happens next? I'm not really sure. I feel like this period/setting (Mara on Coruscant post TTT, pre Yavin) has already been well-worn by other fics recently and I don't know if there will be any interest in it. If I keep going, I'll have to come up with a outline and figure out what I want to do with the fic. Progress: two chapters drafted, but they may need to be merged into one chapter.
Other fics on the backburner:
Courtship remix
Daughter of the Rain and Snow (dead???)
More daemon fic! (I always want to write more daemon fic)
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fic rec friday 5
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
You and I were Fireworks by percyspandapillowpet
“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said, and when he tilted his head back up, his eyes were sparkling. “There’s still enough time to go see the fireworks,” Nico realized aloud. “Do you want to…” Will shook his head, expression unchanging. “Nah. Fireworks are overrated. I’d rather stay here with you.”
look one thing this author can nail is SWEET. also will with his seltzer made me smile idk why but it did. im just a huge fan of slice of life stories and this is such a cute one!!
2. Love Wins by percysandapillowpet
“I’ll be right there!” he shouted, and the knocking stopped. On a count of three, he managed to push the duvet off his arms and legs and let his feet fall to the floor. He glanced down at what he was wearing—a black t-shirt and flannel pants, that would have to do—and walked over to the door. “What do you want, Solace?” he asked, pulling it open. Will was all smiles and sunshine. “Did you hear?” Nico narrowed his eyes. “Hear what? If this is some big event, then no, because I’ve been asleep like a normal person.” Will might as well have been jumping up and down, he looked so excited. “Nico, they did it! The Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage for the entire country! This morning!”
i read this fic in 2017 actually. and i REMEMBER how huge 2015 was; i'm canadian but it was massive. i was 12/13ish so i was in percy jackson back then too, and i remember reading DOZENS of fics that came out right after. this was so huge and this fic captures that :)
3. I Think You're My Best Friend by percyspandapillowpet
“You know what always makes cleaning more fun?” Will asked, sweeping a pile of dust and dirt into the center of the room. “What?” Nico replied, trying to hold back a smile. He found himself doing that a lot these days, too. Will set his broom down against one of the cots that lined the wall. “Music!”
this one made me melt bc personally....if someone called me their favourite i would never ever recover. never ever. and i love short & sweet fics about specific interactions/moments!! and this author nails that!!
4. Darkness by percyspandapillowpet
“So,” Will says, slightly awkwardly, making Nico realize that he forgot to respond to whatever he last said. “Um, you wanted something to take your mind off things?” He pulls back from the hug just enough to see his face, holding him at arms length. “I’ve, uh, got an idea.” He’s not used to Will looking so unsure of himself. He’s always acting so overly cocky. Kiss me, Nico thinks. “What?” he asks. Will smiles, then, his confidence restored. “Let’s go for a hike.”
sweet kisses in nature....the big three boys truly know how it's done bc the way i would SWOON and crumble. also i love it when nico is so so bad at like talking to people lol. hes so real.
5. Past, Present, Future by percyspandapillowpet
“We’ll help her, okay?” Will continues. “We’ll do the best that we can. You and I both know what this feels like. We need to give her support and take care of her for a while.” He nods again, glancing at her sleeping form in the cot. She looks a little less pained, and a little more peaceful. Nico is already dreading how she might react when she wakes again. “We’ll take care of her,” he repeats.
first of all proposal fics get me literally every time. second of all i do love fics where ppl explore what theyre future might look like!!! what they might be when theyre older!! theyre so careful with each other u know.
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
#sorry its all fromt he same author 💀💀#i read fics by author always and im doing my bookmarks in order#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#hoo#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#will solace#nico di angelo/will solace#nico/will#will/nico#fic rec#FRF#fic rec friday#longpost
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MaStar Fics from Fanfic.net
Number of fics 34
Here's a peer reviewed list of MaStar fics from fanfic.net that are not cross posted on ao3. Lists go from oldest to newest.
(All fics on this list: Has the Romance tag, are written in English, properly formatted, and Soul isn't abusive or a cheater in it)
(artist)マカ「ニフラム」 ソウル「なんでこっち見ながら言うの?」 これ内臓詰まってんのかって疑いたくなるレベルのマカさんの
General
A glimpse into the past and future! - Just a little story on how Black Star and Maka met, and then a little future look at them together. Black Star x Maka fic... Cute!
Just Three More Days - Just three more days and Maka will be married.
The Forgotten Blue Shirt - Maka Albarn, our famous scythe technician, had ran out of clothes. As she was rampaging her unorganized closet, Maka came across a blue shirt but had no idea on where and when she bought said t-shirt. She had no choice but to wear it. The young meister decided to take a walk and our bookworm came across a friend that had been long-forgotten in the past. (This has characters speaking in the same paragraph - Myne)
Like Diamonds - Life after graduating from the DWMA (post anime). Maka/Blackstar
Shadow - Because Black Star realizes that his feelings remain the same no matter how many years has passed by. He also realizes that he isn't the bright star that everyone praises but a mere shadow.
Valen-tied Day - MaStar- On the day of love at Death City High, BlackStar is less than pleased to see a boy give his chocolates to his best friend Maka.
Bonded - "There was nothing there, and yet he felt a pull of strings beckoning him to reach out, to touch what ever or whoever was waiting on the other side." Your Name AU; mini collab with Happyisahabit. MaStar Week 2017 Day 6.
Last Night - Black Star was holding something in that he hadn't realized, and Maka was much more accepting than he thought she would be. MaStar Week 2017 Day 8.
Teen
Black StarCrossed A Soul Eater Poem - A poem inspired by wild ideas rushing though my head along with Andrew Lloyd Webber music . A poem about a night where two unlikely meisters realize they are meant for each other.
Icey Accidental Romance - Some of the group decided to go for a walk through the woods. Maka and Black Star end up in a huge problem. Will this sudden accident change the way they feel about eachother, or will it just bring out the truth? MakaxBlackStar Fluff
Collapssed - Maka was enjoying a day out when Tsubaki and Soul tell her Black Star is missing; they think he collapssed somewhere. Maka panicks as he runs around and eventually finds him in a weak state. MakaxBlackStar fic.
Golden Memory - Black Star is bored.Everyone is busy but Maka,when he find her and takes her to his place she finds a pictre of them when they were younger, as memory kicks in, she realises there was a lot more to their friendship then she thought.MakaxBlackStar May update
She refuses to go on without Black Star - Three years he had been gone. She was at her limit, no longer could she live without him. MakaxBlackStar fic fluffiness! XD Rated T for content
A MakaxBlackStar Christmas! - Shitty title, I know! XD Maka was left home alone during Christmas Eve, bored, she goes to the academy to find Black Star there, the two begin talking and confessions soon lead to much, much more. Rated T for now, may be bumped up to M.
Comfort - Maka has a nightmare, and who's there to comfort her? It's fluff :S BlackStarxMaka please R&R! C: this is the first fic I've posted here. Enjoy! Rated T for sharing a bed XD
Awake - Set post-anime. "I'm the one who can surpass God. The one who can do anything he wants. If there's anyone who can wake your weapon powers up, it's me and my wavelength." After the defeat of the Kishin, Black Star visits Maka in the hospital to remind her of a promise they made when they were kids. Implied Black StarXMaka
To The Moon And Back - Black Star can't seem to get Maka's words from the battle on the moon off his mind. He ends up giving comfort to not only the blonde scythe meister who has left him feeling so strange but himself in the end. Based on Manga Chapter 105.
Maka And Black Star - Maka and Black * Star...Romance! Oh yes I am crazy enough to try this weird combination! Will Black * Star have what it takes to handle Maka? You'll have to read to find out!
Push Me - He placed his forehead against hers, grinning from ear to ear, at the girl's instant blush across her cheeks, "What? Did you think I'd let you get away without apologizing for real?" he asked teasingly.
Halloween Party - "He couldn't recall when this urge towards her had first started. It might have been long before their school days as meisters, or it might have started recently. He wasn't positive when, it didn't really matter." A party leaves Maka and Black Star time to sneak off and catch some fresh air. Maka x Black Star Slight future fic
Guns and Horses - Maka and Soul are very close friends. When She confesses her love to him, he denies her. Heartbroken, Maka turns to Black Star to help ease her pain. That's when Soul realizes he is in love with her, but who will Maka choose?
Problems with Loving your best friend - After something happens to Maka, Black-star has to help all he can, but the problem? He is head over heels for Maka! Now they have to get through everything and keep secrets from the rest of the group! Maka x Black-star
Freight Trains - No one said love was easy, but in Maka's defense no one said it would be hard either. As Maka's suppressed feelings for Soul begin to surface, she is launched into a very strange predicament, forcing her to fake a relationship with the one person she can hardly stand: Black Star.
Adrift - A commercial fishing trip gone awry leaves Braxton 'Black Star' Sterling floundering, furious, and ready to fight a God. Will his mission to get to Poseidon for a one-on-one be victorious, or will he forever be lost at sea? Mastar. Warnings: cussing, violence, talk of death, minor character death.
Mature
Stuck in a Steamy Closet - Maka and Black Star were thrown into a closet by Soul. Things get awkward and turn to hot.
A Black Winter - Winter often leaves a person feeling like there is no hope left, like all the life has been sucked out of them. When Maka finds herself on the receiving end of a prank her temper fires up those desolate feelings as she storms over to the one place where she knows she can take sort through these emotions. It just so happens that he might be part of the reason she is feeling them
Please Take Me - When Black*Star came into the Strip club the last thing he expect was to hear Maka Albarn singing. But there's more that draws him to her. and she may be just what his band needs. But there's strings attached and a lot going on in her life. and she just might need someone just like Black*Star. Soul Eater AU. MaStar Paring. You don't like it, You've been warned.
Explicit
The Sudden Rush Of Passion And Need - Black Star is bored, while going to find Soul he ends up hanging with Maka. Things quickly get hot. Black Star x Maka fluff
Three Two One Take Me! - Maka is having a horrible day. As she tries to get home she finds herself lost in the fog and breaks down.Black Star appears and takes her to an abandoned place he uses as a hideout.What will happen when Maka realises how she really feels about him?LEMON!
Rare Rainbow! True Love? - It's Black Star's birthday. The only gift Maka can give is her body. After realising that they actually have a love connection, things get steamy. Set several years later, surprise twist at the end. LEMON! Black Star x Maka
Oops - An innocent day at the pool turns... not so innocent when BlackStar and Maka are left alone together. MaStar smut. Enjoy! Rated M for future chapters C:
Animalistic - Maka is ignoring everyone to read a new book she's gotten. Everyone else is at the basketball court while she secludes herself... or so she thought. What happens when Black Star comes over to entertain his childhood friend? Will what she's reading have their hang out lead into something more? Please review!
Birthday Tattoo - Maka has never followed the crowd. Her team knows it, and her boyfriend Black*Star knows it. So when Maka decides to join her team's new hobby in getting a tattoo, what will Black*Star think? Will it be his best birthday yet? COMPLETE!
Hot Springs - Team Spartoi is taking a well-deserved vacation at a hot spring. When Black*Star loses the guys and stumbles up on the girls' hot spring, what does he see? How does Maka react? Mature one-shot. Lemon? Read and find out! *Cover image not mine!*
A special shout out to
Rabbid Girl for writing the first MaStar fic from what I can find (it is in Spanish)
XxSoulNoteWriterxX for writing over 22 MaStar fics in the second year of the niche.
happyisahabit for writing the most MaStar fics out of all of us
#soul eater#mastar#fanfic#fic recs#I've also found a bunch of fanart from a different site really cute stuff#like there is so much mastar content out there it's just a pill to find
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Was just checking my book's reviews on Goodreads, as one does, and there was a relatively scathing review of Like Real People Do that actually made a lot of excellent points, highlighting things I'd do differently if I was writing it now.
But one point I found funny and would not change was something along the lines of "The Tumblr references were excruciating and made it read like 2015 fan fiction." Which, close, it was 2017 fanfic, but also I had the option to take out the Tumblr references and I didn't on purpose, even though it dates the book. Tumblr helped me write this book. We're paying homage to its origins. Will I do that for every book I publish? No. But the first one? That I only scrubbed and queried because my online friends told me it was good enough and I should try? Those we keep. Also, if you read a book and the dedication page says it's for fanfic writers, it's your own damn fault if you don't enjoy it because it reads like fic and has Tumblr references.
#no guilt in my pleasures#author things#so the good news is i'm not crying over bad reviews anymore#now i'm like ok points A through C are valid but D is shit#insert growth meme#which this reviewer would probably also find cringe#lol
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Everyone always talks about how reviewing fics is important, and how you should absolutely review older fics too, even unfinished ones, but seriously, REVIEWING FICS IS IMPORTANT, AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY REVIEW OLDER FICS TOO, EVEN UNFINISHED ONES.
I started writing a Caryl/Hunger Games crossover trilogy in about 2016/2017. I had so much enthusiasm for the story and belted out Part 1, and got half way through writing part 2 when I got too excited to wait to finish writing, and started putting it up online.
And it was met with near silence.
I forced myself to finish part 2, but it was with nowhere near the enthusiasm I had started with, and basically gave up. I haven't even thought about writing the final part in seven years.
Anyway, I've just had a series of the most gorgeous reviews on those fics. And guess who has just started a document for part 3, and has already finished the first draft of chapter 2?
This girl.
Review fics.
Review old fics.
Review unfinished fics.
You never know what you might cause to happen <3
#fic writing#writer problems#writer stuff#writers on tumblr#caryl#hunger games#it's lovely writing for HG again too#who knows#maybe if i get some reviews on unfinished everlark fics that'll kick me up the butt to get them done too!
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from the inbox, #9
From the inbox, #9, special edition - Destiel fic reccing Now and Then
Hi! First of all, your blog is absolutely wonderful! I wish there were a billion more like it for all pairings and fandoms lol. Do you know of any other good supernatural rec blogs?
As long as there were destiel fics, there were also dedicated fic reccers. Some stayed with fandom longer, some moved on faster, so, now we have a mix of active blogs and archived blogs. Here’s small collection of destiel fic rec resources that I’ve come across on tumblr. This is by no means a definite list and you are welcome to add your own resources in the notes! Let’s keep fic reccing craft alive and diverse!
Destiel Fic reccing NOW, currently active blogs in 2023
@profoundbondfanfic - an active and prolific destiel fic rec blog with dedicated mod team. Follow them on tumblr and have a rec every day!
@destielficbasket - a blog that reblogs a wide variety of destiel fic rec posts from other Tumblr blogs. All goods in one place!
@deancasfanficrecs - destiel fic recs and fic rec reblogs, lots of posts to chose from!
@destieltaggedfic - blog full of original themed fic rec posts, sorting destiel fics from different angles.
@mixtapebookclub - a tumblr blog for destiel fic podcast. Thematic podcasts and fic rec lists at the same time. There is also a Mixtape Book Club AO3 collection for your convenience.
@cocklesdestielfiction - what it says on the tin! They have destiel, but they also have cockles recs and gif sets. Check them out!
@destieltropecollection - a very unique blog that collects themed self recs from the authors. Check out their neatly organized Master List Collection 2017-2022 or follow them to get the latest Destiel Trope Collection 2023 rec lists every day in May.
The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection on AO3 contains 2793 fics and 668 bookmarked fics that were chosen by destiel readers in several fic surveys organized by destiel writer @unforth. Check out this vast collection of reader choice fics!
Destiel Fic reccing THEN
@destielmybeatingheart-deactivated - what to say, this was the main blog for destiel fic rec back in the day. Unfortunately, the mod left fandom and later took down the blog and, with it, all their fic rec posts. See this post to appreciate what we used to have. In coming weeks, @destiel-fic-rec-lists will continue to reblog available destielmybeatingheart’s rec lists with updated links to AO3 when possible. You can find them under #creator: destielmybeatingheart tag.
ask about other spn blogs like ours - this is 10 years old ask and a lot of blogs here are not active anymore or full of dead links, but if they are up, you can still browse them. The list includes some non spn fic rec blogs as well.
@deancasfix - destiel fic rec blog, reviews, rec lists and asks, last update May, 2020.
@deancasfanficnet - a blog to promote destiel fic writers, various posts, last update April, 2020.
@destiel-fics-for-you - destiel fic rec blog, reviews, rec lists and asks, last update June 2016.
Last but not least, don’t forget to browse our destiel fic challenge master post Where Is Destiel Fic In 2022 and occasionally check out @destiel-fic-rec-lists blog for fic rec lists made by other fans. (hint - all reblogs are tagged with their creator’s urls, so you can easily find their other posts on the blog)
Support and cherish your local fanfic reccer. You never know when you’ll need their help to find your next favorite fic!
Destiel fanworks on AO3 - 111,567 (May 8, 2023)
You can find previous From The Inbox posts here.
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One-Shot Monday - Caryl Fanfiction Rec
Dear fellow carylers, now that TBOC is over (sobs), I'm back to my main business in our fandom: obsessive fanfiction reader lol I missed our recs very much and I'm glad to be back! Paying homage to dear Didi, who knows that caryl love is as real as it is rare, please enjoy Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered), written by @bloodlnthemoonlight, known as carolthequeen | kataurah. It's posted both on 9Lives and AO3 and it's a emotional and intimate story, very well-written and with one of my favorite indirect caryl love declarations ever. If you read it you know exactly what I mean. So go read it, dear fellow caryler, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Summary: When Daryl next lays eyes on Carol, the day the Saviours attack Alexandria, riding through the gates with Ezekiel and two dozen other people like some damn post-apocalyptic Joan of Arc, his first reaction isn't relief, it's terror.
A season 7 finale speculation fic, written before it aired.
Rated: T Word count: 3.996 Published: August 23, 2017 (one-shot) Don't forget to leave a kudos or a nice review to our author. Every little bit of love is appreciated. And caryl on, lovelies! CARYL ON!
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Instead of a 2024 fic review, in honour of 2025 being my 10th year posting my writing on ao3, I thought it would be fun to do a little recap year by year of my most liked fics.
It's fascinating to see which fandoms came and went and which turned out to be there to stay!
If you're as curious as I was and maybe want to (re)discover some of my older fics, some links and stats await you under the "read more" 💛
2015
My resolution for the new year is to go back to my origins and start writing again for the Tolkien fandom!
Enthralling (Silmarillion, Angbang) is hands down one of my best fics to this day, despite the fact that my English wasn't as good as it is now! If you want to read about Mairon seducing the mightiest of the Valar, this is the best take I wrote on it!
~
2016
Sentient Reflection (DCU, Superbat) not only was the first superbat fic I wrote but it also was my first one in the DC fandom and folks, as you very well know, I've been digging this particular hole deeper and deeper with no signs of hitting rock bottom.
One sour note, is seeing Selfish Prayers (James Bond, 00q): I'm sorry to everyone who followed it and was a fan but it will never be finished 😔
~
2017
It was the year of James Bond AUs! Omega!Bond and alien!Q clearly were the favourites, with The Odd One (James Bond, 00q) - the first instalment of the omega!Bond series - being one of my most liked fics ever in the fandom.
Aside note: in 2017 started my descent into the garbage fire that was Gotham (my beloved) and I've been steadily writing for this fandom for years and none of what I think are my best Gotham fics - my best fics in general, actually - ever made it to the top 5 😱
~
2018
Superbat won hands-down that year, what can I say? Not to toot my own horn but I did write some bangers.
*peach emoji* (DCU, Superbat) is all about Bruce's ass - enough said, right?
~
2019
Superbat kept winning 😮💨 Whipped (DCU, Superbat) is there for you if you want to have a laugh.
~
2020
My Bond fics showed up (I did participate again in the 007 Fest after many years of absence so, that probably helped)! Alas, as the rare pair gremlin that I am, Everything They Said (DCU, Superwonderbat) came to eat - if you're in the mood for some delicious Trinity angst, all in Bruce's head, you're definitely going to enjoy the fic!
~
2021
Daniel Craig bowed out of the franchise with a movie I absolutely, 💯% despised and if your liking of Unfixable (James Bond, 00q) shows anything, is that a lot of you hated it too 👼🏽
Honourable mention to Between Us, In The Dark (WWDITS, Nandermo) - I wrote like.. 4 fics for this fandom and still one of them made it to the top 5!
~
2022
Finally, some of my Gotham fics got to the top 5! And they're not as good as some real fucking bangers I wrote hahaha
Dancing in Circles (James Bond, 00q) got top spot and with a good reason: old geezers in love, dancing circles around one another? They will pine for forever, sign me up.
~
2023
You can pry my rare pairs from my cold, dead hands 😮💨 Three of Cups (DCU, Superwonderbat) is the soft Trinity smut we all deserve.
~
2024
Listen, it was a bad writing year: writer's block has been kicking my ass to hell and back relentlessly.
But you know what? I still write some damn good superbat smut! Fire on Fire (DCU, Superbat) is filthy and loving and a take on alpha/alpha relationships I don't see much of!
I hope you had as much fun reading this little review as I did discovering all of this! 🤩
#my writing#my fics#fanfiction#james bond#00q#dc comics#superbat#superwonderbat#wwdits#nandermo#gotham#nygmobblepot
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2024 Writer Year-In-Review
Hi, I’m RaisedonRadio & FortressofmyPast on AO3 and FF.net. This is an on-going tradition since 2015. Check out my past year-end posts: 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015.
Tagging a few people, and if you come across my little post and want to do your own year in review, feel free to tag me!
@writercorianarose @shesailsships @talesofsorrowandofruin
Total Word Counts: 18,968 in published fanfics 16,540 Camp Nano April 7,909 Nanowrimo
Total Number Of Completed Works: 5 Total Number of WIPS worked on this year: 8, I think How Many WIPs do you still have: 23 (wait…that’s the same as last year…such a classic example of the plot bunnies multiplying as fast one can write them)
Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. I started off with a bang, and fizzled out. And I didn’t finish Nanowrimo, I just didn’t have the drive for it with all stuff happening with them this year. (I should have chosen a new tracking system ahead of time!)
Did you take any writing risks this year? I’d say no, I played it really safe. But I did write a couple of fanfics for a series when it wasn’t finished yet. I normally would wait so my fics can be overly canon-compliant, which is something I have really loosened up on in the past few years.
Biggest Surprise: The huge reception I got from the My Demon and Sweet Home fics. Wow! I was almost spoiled by the outpouring of kudos!
Biggest Disappointment: Definitely wish I had kept writing consistently.
Do you have any writing goals for the new year? Be more consistent in writing. Even if I can’t manage daily, maybe even weekly, instead of dropping everything for months.
Fanfiction Questions! (if you don’t write fanfiction feel free to skip or rework the questions for your original works.)
Fandoms I’ve written in this year: They were all Kdramas: My Demon, Destined With You, Sweet Home, Sound of Magic
Your most popular story of the year? That would be “I Burn For You”, with 328 kudos, 14 comments, and 6,958 hits. I was floored by the turnout it received.
The story that was easiest/or most fun to write: If I go by the amount of drafts I have, it was “Alone”, with three.
Hardest story to write: There were seven drafts for “Long Story Short”. ^^;;
Your sweetest story: “Safe And Sound” came out kinda of sickly-sweet. XD
Your saddest scene: I don’t think I wrote anything too sad this year, just a little angst in “Long Story Short” and “Alone”.
The sexiest moment you’ve written this year? 4 out of my 5 fanfics were, once again, E rated. I apologize to any readers who miss my T rated fics. XD
Your favorite tag: (whether you use it the most or just something witty/perfect for the story) I finally used a ‘wrote this instead of sleeping’ variation (it was me editing at 2 in the morning)
Most unintentionally telling story: (have you accidentally or purposefully exposed a detail about yourself?) Surprisingly nothing comes to mind this year! (But I’m sure there are bits and pieces of me throughout)
Are any of your fics named after/heavily inspired by music? All of them were named after songs or lyrics, yet again. I wouldn’t be RaisedonRadio if I came up with original titles -_-;; And since one of the fics was from a musical, I included a little playlist of the songs I had on repeat when writing it. :D
What’s your own favorite story of the year? Hmm, that’s tough, I was pretty pleased with most of them this year…but I’ll go with “I Burn For You”.
My favorite part of fandom this year: I love writing for active fandoms, and yet I also love writing for super quiet fandoms. I did both this year!
#writer year in review#fic in review#raisedonradio#radiowrites#fortressofmypast#my demon#destined with you#sweet home#sound of magic#fanfiction
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