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buddhajesuschrusthole · 1 year ago

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Hey everybody on tumblr (or whatever this damn fucking app is called ) - I am not a hip youngster anymore I am 25 years old and have never used this shit!

But anyway - hello!

I will be sharing today - one of my favorite things - advice on manifesting what you want to happen for you in this lifetime!

So! Without further adue- (is that how you spell it, French people?) Here is my blog on the subject! (At least for tonight haha, today is November 17th , 2023!)

So - manifesting! Have you heard of that term? It means - “bringing into reality / making your dreams come true!”

Manifesting your dreams therefore means - you guessed it - bringing your dreams from the dream realm - into your real life realm! (Turning your fantasy into reality!)

I’m serious, dawg! It’s happened to me - so that’s how I know! - So I don’t want to hear it! Lol! Jk - but I mean it tho!

So - I have manifested many-a-thing. Including - my dream boyfriend! (YES , I mean it - like he is the LITERAL GUY I wanted for SO LONG - the man I fantasized about in bed - before it actually happened! OMG - crazy - right!? NO! Because it’s fucking real! Now listen dawg…)

So here’s the story - so - years ago - I had wished for a guy with long hair down to his ass - a gorgeous one - that I literally would marry!

(We didn’t get married yet but that’s not the point!)

Years after I wished for that (YES, YEARS AFTER), I met this guy at work - named Devon (I literally remember thinking in bed one day - years before this happened - that his name would start with a damn D?!! WTF!!) - and was soooo cute! I loved him aaaaaaaaaaa! He was literally so adorable, I can’t even tell you!

But anyway - he was my type - shy - quiet - an asshole! Hahahha - just kidding Devon, I love you! No, but - maybe a lil bit. Lmao! (Sorry baby - I love you!)

But anyway he looked exactly like the kind of guy I would want to date tbh! So ummmm, so I talked to him as much as I could, even though he scared the shit out of me! He just had this intense stare of like - hate towards everybody - lmaooo! I can’t explain it but - if you experienced it before - then you probably know what I’m talking about haha!

He was just like - very anti-social and quiet - but I liked him anyway! Every time I talked to him - he was always nice to me! So that’s good haha!

Except for that one time at work - where I asked him where the cheese was during a rush (we worked in a kitchen at BDubs) - and we went in the walk-in fridge and he started kicking shit out of anger - and then I cried because I was scared that he hated me (he didn’t see that tho…) Oopsie Devon! You bitch! Lmao! Jk - I still love you!

Except for that one time - he was a really nice guy! Ummmm, so far hahaha!

But then after two weeks of working with him he walked-out and quit! Oh no! Fuck! He was the hottest guy at work and then I was so disappointed and mad tbh, lmaooo! Mostly because I had to do his job and mine - two weeks into my new fucking job - ahhhh!!!!!

I didn’t even know how to make nachos - and they still had me do it - all by myself - even in a rush! WTF!!! I had just started!!! Those bastards couldn’t hire someone!? Fine! So I did it all by myself!!!! (I’m serious - I was so mad wtf!)

But anyway - a few months go by - then I walk out too! Cuz I’m tired of working two peoples jobs - when I literally asked them to hire my two friends - and they just wouldn’t! WTF!

So yeah! That’s why I quit that one~! Hahahaha…

But! I think a few more months go by - or weeks!? I don’t even remember hahahaha I’m so sorry - but - it wasn’t too long…

But one night - I was thinking about Devon - in bed - by myself - and I was like damn - he was so cute! I miss him! - and I was taking out loud to myself and I went “Well, if he liked me, I’m sure he’d let me know!”

AND I SHIT YOU NOT!!!! I SHIT YOU NOT - he literally followed me on my instagram - THE NEXT MORNING! LMAOOO!! NO FUCKING WAY!

Yes, it’s true - this is the fucking facts of my life y’all! It’s literally all over my old YouTube channel!

That moment is what you’d call a serendipitous synchronicity! A moment of WTF and mystery - and a moment of - how the fuck is this even happening right now!? (It kind of felt like a dream I’m NGL!)

And the rest I’m going to keep from you - because it took about a year for us to get together - but I blocked him two weeks after he followed me - because I messaged him and we started taking but then he pissed me off - so I blocked him and cried about it!

But yeah - before that happened - me and him planned to meet at the park - but we couldn’t find each other (and I had to walk there.) But that’s not why I blocked him, so - blocked him because he pissed me off because I told him I liked him - and then he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship right now (he kept talking about his ex gf and how much he missed her prior to this - and told me that he was crying blah blah blah.) (That was his only gf so I am giving him a fucking break in this one, but still - goddamn bitch!)

They had broken up a few years prior to that so I was like - wow. But they were together for three years and I can’t even imagine being in a relationship that long - so I can’t sympathize 100 percent… but I tried, goddamn it!

But yeah - I blocked him because of that ( even though I probably shouldn’t have told him I liked him the day after he cried to me about his ex gf, I think he just needed a friend tbh - but I wasn’t being a friend - I was being a thirsty bitch! Hahaha goddamn it!)

But to be fair he was flirting with me and it really mad me angry! So yeah! Kudos to past me! Muahahahha!

But anyway - even though he was a beautiful guy - I blocked his ass and cried about it immediately after - because after I blocked him - I unblocked him but then found out that he blocked me, too. (To be fair , after I told him I liked him I went ahead and told him I would just go fuck this other guy instead (he was hot too…))

Goddamn, maybe I was a damn bitch….oh well.

But anyway!

Me and that other guy met one time (I think it was a few days after or something, but we never saw each other again, and no we didn’t fuck, just hung out and shit, didn’t even kiss the guy.)

But yeah. So that’s why I blocked him ~!

But then! After that second guy kind of hurt me because he didn’t text me back after we hung out (maybe it’s because I pointed out this girls choker in his fucking car!?) IDK if he had a gf or what but - ew.

I was like sad and shit - but then I was like - fuck men! So I stayed single after that.

I just wanted my soulmate tbh.

But honestly - the dating sites weren’t working - and I was bored.

So I messaged Devon on his Facebook account like (two to four) months after I blocked him hahaha!

He didn’t reply for two weeks - but then he saw it and replied ( I think he didn’t see it because we weren’t friends - either that or he was ignoring me but idc I understand tbh!)

But he messaged me back and we started talking - I tried not to be clingy this time - but when I wanted him to message me first - he didn’t. So I was like wow, why should I message you first if you don’t message me first!? The fuck!

But I don’t think that technique worked… because I went a few weeks without messaging him - and then I messaged him once after that and I saw that he had blocked me.

I was like “NOoOoOooO!!!” And I cried - I’m sorry I’m just a sappy lil bitch tbh - even though it’s my own fault cuz I blocked the guy first!

Hahahhaha oh lord.

But anyway - I cried for a few days because I still had a crush on him and all that… but after that happened - I told myself that he just needed time. I told myself that he was going through something and wouldn’t just block me out of nowhere for nothing. (Which ended up being the truth - he was indeed going through something.)

So - months and months and months go by - maybe six months? Seven months? I don’t know how many! Maybe five? I’m not good at math nor time - sorry folks.

But anyway - months go by - and during those months - I was vigorously masterbating to him.

Yes, I mean every damn day!

I mean it.

But anyway - I imagined him massaging me in my bed with lotion all over my back - making it nice and relaxing and romantic.

I imagined him eating me out and plowing the shit out of my vagina hole.

And I mean it, too!

Anyway - I told myself not to worry - and that if he really liked me that much - that he would unblock me eventually.

Low and behold - the day comes - I’m browsing my Facebook messenger - and I see his bubble was online!

I was like - why would his bubble be online to me if he has me blocked still - that seems dumb.

So I clicked on his bubble and it took me to his profile - which wouldn’t happen if you’re blocked. (IK you already know this, ladies and gentlemen, hahaha jk!)

But anyway - I clicked on it and I was so happy because I was like OMG no way - he finally unblocked me after how many months!?

So I didn’t message him that day - I waited for him to do - which was unrealistic and he didn’t end up doing anything - so like a week or two goes by and then I decide to message him!

I was like “Hey Devon - so - why did you block me - I thought I told you that I was going through some emotional stuff and I thought you had forgiven me for that already?”

Then he said something like “Yeah I’m sorry - I don’t really know why I did that.”

And I was like “Sure you do, buddy! I know I blocked you first and I know it’s my own fault - but I’m very sorry and I hope you understand that I liked you and wanted to be your friend - I was just going through a lot emotionally at the time.”

And he told me he understood, and he told me something along the lines of “I think you are a wonderful person - I am sorry if I hurt you - I didn’t mean to.”

And inside I felt so happy because I thought that was sweet…

So we talked - and talked - and talked - and then every day after that - I messaged him - not caring who was first to do it anymore. I guess I just liked him that much or something haha. But he always messaged me back and didn’t leave me on read or anything.

So that’s good.

So I think a month of that goes by - and then I finally ask him if he wants to hang out with me - and he says yes.

(Remember when I told you I couldn’t find him at the park? He thought I stood him up - and I thought he had stood me up, too. That was also before I told him I liked him. Probably not a good plan to tell him after that , and the fact that he cried about his ex the night before. But whatever - I was thirsty - he was hot - what can I say? LMAO And guys - he did tell me he thought I was very attractive (before I blocked him and before he blocked me lol) - so I know he didn’t think I was ugly so that’s definitely not it.)

So here is another weird coincidence : also called a serendipitous moment - also called a synchronicity - meaning that we are synchronized!

Before the day we hung out - I had asked myself - “what would that moment be like?”

So, I had imagined that moment - and guess what? The very thing I had imagined and hoped for - became the ultimate reality that day that we hung out.

To the very T.

(Which is also why it weirds me out a little - but it’s also very beautiful - if you ask me~!)

I mean to the damn T - the energy was the same - and before we hung out I hoped that he would ask to buy me a coffee (which he did ask me if he could get me one one day!) Plus - I had hoped that he would hang out with me every week after that (which he had said to me - something along the lines of: “We should make it a tradition to see each other every week, or something.”)

But yeah now we’re dating.

(We didn’t get to see each other every week after that - but we did see each other - and I am very happy that he’s a blessing in my life now. He is a dream come true and I have told him this - and he had also told me that he had sex dreams about me and about us dating before it actually happened.)

We were friends for a few months after we first hung out - and then I told him: (“What are we doing here? I like you. And I need to know if you like me too. And if not , tell me now.”)

Then he told me he was confused too and then we talked about it - and then I invited him to a sleepover. The rest is personal - but honestly we’re dating now. So the rest is history.

However, he does remind me of a character I made up in my head, whom I said had long dark hair, and who would be my husband one day.

Like I said - this was so many years ago - probably about four or so years ago that I made up that fantasy.

And I told myself he’d like to read too - which he does! Which is crazy to me! Now all I have to do is make him gothic and he will literally be the exact match to my fantasy many years ago. (He does like gothic stuff so I don’t think that’ll be too hard.)

But yeah that’s the story of me and my boyfriend - omg I missed a detail!

I remember - the day after we officially got together - the next day Devon had told me that his brother had got an engagement ring for his girlfriend and that he was going to ask her to marry her!

I just thought that was significant since - like I said - this guy reminds me of my fantasy that I had of a husband. LMAOOO!

But yeah! Thanks for reading and listening to my story! Leave a like and follow for more manifesting stories - I have lots - even scary bits! :D

Also look up my YouTube if you’re interested - Buddha Jesus Chrusthole (Infinite Butthole Jesus)!