#20 years later and i’m still gagged that it’s real and canon like they are fr in love

[foxsfiles]

if i think too hard abt Scully singing joy to the world to william i might freak tf out

[hekatekun]

The metanarrative’s grand narrative: Osomatsu-san’s characterization throughout the franchise

The growing cynicism throughout the entire Osomatsu-san franchise shows itself in season 3 with more prominence than anything prior. I think that’s pretty common amongst any “long-running” gag comedy - replacing a plot with spiteful commentary that’s admittedly pretty hit or miss at times. However, it invariably creates a negative but pretty funny character growth, and I love the way the show (I’m including the movie too as “canon” material considering season 3 has referenced it way too many times for me to disregard) has set up this metanarrative across seasons. Long post ahead.

Obviously, Osomatsu-san is self-aware and has a casual relationship with itself. No linear plot (though S3 seems to be trying it out and I’ve enjoyed it - I love that they’re willing to experiment), rather a collection of unrelated skits; and so it points out its own metanarrative because of this “lack of consequences.” With comedy comes impermancy and Ososan AND -kun will always bounce back from that week’s insanity. From the Oxford Dictionary, a metanarrative is “a narrative account that experiments with or explores the idea of storytelling, often by drawing attention to its own artificiality.” Basically: a story about stories.

On top of this, is what I’m calling the “grand narrative,” which is often used interchangeably with metanarrative, but here I’m making a distinction to make it less confusing. Of course, Ososan is a story about stories, but with that comes a story it’s not directly telling, which is where most of the (little) character development is taking place. This is what I’m going to call the grand narrative of a show whose premise is being a meta-aware comedy. I’ll admit I’m by no means an expert on these subjects, but storytelling methods are something I enjoy trying to analyze. As a media format, Ososan really utilizes the fact that it’s a tv show.

Right off the bat S1E1 makes it clear what to expect: Nothing. Not a damn thing. But, the show had already been cleared for this first season, so it has to be produced. This same episode’s preview is done by Osomatsu, which I’m just gonna quote instead screenshot because there’s too many.

“...we plan on properly starting the anime the next episode.” “...you ended up with an extra minute, so you need me to do something to fill it?! Actually, is this anime going to be okay with episode one being like this? I’m getting worried about how the rest of this is going to be...” “There, I used up a minute! [EPISODE ENDS]”

Episode one is not only batshit referential, but downright mocking the state of anime in 2015. Which, truthfully, I don’t have much to comment on in that regard, as I’m not an avid anime fan. However, it does this under the premise of being indecisive about what kind of anime they wanted the Osokun reboot to be. 

They’ll do just about anything to stay popular and relevant considering that is, quite literally, all they have going for them as characters in the series and just being characters in general. They may be pieces of shit, but they’re likeable pieces of shit. The dynamics they’ve built upon to be entertaining is encouraged, and they’re basically just roleplaying different skits and fucking around.

All the AUs! All the skits! They’re just playing! They’re just fuckin’ around!! They couldn’t come up with any interesting plot nor could they “graduate” from being anime protagonists and join the real world, so they just fuck around and make a gag anime!

Even if we follow both as the audience, the show makes a difference between the what’s them in their “normal life” (crazy begets crazy, no?) and what’s their “show.” But, really, that’s just one way to look at it, as they don’t really follow any rules as a show. I could say the Joshimatsus are separate characters from the sextuplets, and it’d be a “correct” interpretation. It doesn’t really matter - I’m choosing to examine it all as being the six of them just running around and playing, because being entertaining and having fun is all they know as characters. Besides, having it blended together beyond recognition reinforces how it prioritizes entertaining us, the audience, above logic. Storytelling doesn’t need to make absolute spatial-temporal sense for it to be enjoyable to fans.

In any case, that mentality really seems to be what pushes their character development negative, as they look to reinforce habits and rituals despite them being really detrimental for them in the long run. They know they’re popular characters as is, and with really everyone from staff to fans encouraging this behavior further, so they see no point in fixing what isn’t really broken.

I found this 4 year old article from Manga.Tokyo discussing the Ososan phenomenon in Japan because while the craze died off pretty quickly in American anime circles (which deserves a whole other post), Japanese fans went fuckin’ nuts.

This portion caught my attention, as it makes sense that entitled and enabled asshole children would grow up to be entitled and enabled asshole adults. The article also goes on to compare them to idols (even beyond the F6 spoof) and that they are rooted in being comfort characters above all else. 

It’s worth a read, especially because Japanese fan response is what drives majority of the content post-S1, and, inevitably, ties into their character development. 

They know that they’re Characters, particularly Protagonists. You know what happens to protagonists? Everything works out. Just about every single story created has stuff working out for protagonists. In fact, we have a whole genre made that separates stories with bad tragic endings from our Normal Stories. Ososan is a comedy, not a tragedy, so surely there’s gonna be some payoff somewhere along the road, especially as the seasons and other content are still being pumped out. To a self-aware, entitled, enabled protagonist, assuming everything is just gonna work out for you isn’t that far off from your narrative truth.

However, Ososan is a gag anime, and a lot of gag content (like 4koma mangas) is dropped for other projects before any emotional cathartic ending is provided for characters and fans alike. So, three seasons and a movie later, nothing has happened. It’s a great idol cash cow with a Family Guy filter, and the characters (and writers) don’t even bother to hide it anymore. And I know I’m being hypocritical concerning my definition of “canon material” but I think this portion from one of the drama cds “Choroplex” basically summarizes my point:

CHOROMATSU: Wait, don’t make this into a gag! You don’t even care about becoming employed, right? KARAMATSU: There’s no way that could happen... CHOROMATSU: What kind of future are you imagining? Is it nothing but this? [HUGE PAUSE BEFORE THEY MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE]

They’re parodies of themselves and are running out of ideas. Stagnation and decay is normal, if not unavoidable, at this point in time for them. They’re just 20 somethings who’ve hit a wall but they’re too scared and insecure to bring about permanent positive change. It’s easier for them to fall back into normal patterns and joke off the rest.

They have an antagonistic relationship with expectations. They can’t handle a single iota of expectations, or responsibilities. They’ve never needed to worry before, so why bother now? Once the biggest hits on the block, now they’re just guppies in the ocean, and there’s nothing they believe themselves to be able to accomplish to keep up with this big brave new world. This is epitomized in S3E15, where old man Osomatsu tells a bastardized version of the Tortoise and the Hare, blatantly projecting his feelings onto it. Again, too many screenshots so let me pull more quotes (bolding for my own reference):

“The place that the tortoise thought was the goal was not actually the goal. His journey down the road of life still continued on. The tortoise was quite tired, but he continued running anyway.” “No one actually knew who was in front anymore. There are too many people above you.” “After the tortoise found out how society worked, he thought, ‘So this is the difference in talent? No amount of hard work is going to fix this. All right. I’m done competing with others.’”

S3 has left more questionable endings than its counterparts. The last 2 skits I referenced don’t even a gag to them, and the marriage skit doesn’t play music for the entire second half of S3E5. There’s more involved too. I haven’t even brought up the rice ball twins becoming actual entertainers in their universe, or how they introduced this whole AI subplot only to reject it because All Six Of Them aren’t interested in expanding their little corner of the world. Here’s a transcript of the ending preview from S3E1:

“Hey, hey, Osomatsu here. I thought we were saved from being replaced, but I guess we get new characters next week. Man, we’re busy. New encounters, changing surroundings... We’re NEETs to begin with because all that is a pain. I guess a lot can happen after three seasons. [EPISODE ENDS]”

The sextuplets’ mindsets are extremely self-centered, which is also an environmental thing (the parents don’t even really care that they’re NEETs, for one) and an understanding of what they ought to be (epic successful protagonists). They also have a very black and white mentality, all or nothing. They’re extremely sheltered, and once they realized where they stood in society at large, they just gave up. To them the world is divided between winners and losers, and somehow, “inexplicably,” they found themselves to have fallen from grace. But they’re protagonists, that has to count for something! Everything’s gonna end up okay, right? Well... what this show has told them: No, not at all. They are consistently compared and warned of Iyami, and are perfectly aware of this fact, and have come to internalize it as a truth rather than a reversible self-fulfilling prophecy.

Too many screencaps, taken from the S3S5 marriage discussion:

JYUSHIMATSU: I wonder if we’re gonna get married someday, too. CHOROMATSU: Well, I mean... probably? I’m not exactly sure, but... TODOMATSU: What? You’re gonna get married, Choromatsu-niisan? CHOROMATSU: Huh? Well, yeah... someday.

Surprise! They have commitment issues! The same group that couldn’t commit to a fucking plot! Though their personality issues have several factors involved, I can’t overlook the theater motifs abound. Life’s a stage, and they’re performing entirely unscripted and it shows.

Do I think all of this is 100% intentional on the writers’ part? No, probably not. There’s also an extra layer here regarding contemporary Japanese commentary that I’m not familiar with, so I just ended up focusing on the characters. I can’t be in the writers’ heads, but whatever decisions are being made by executives regarding censorship and “compliance” are reflected in these character changes that result in being significantly more bitter and defeatist.

In the all or nothing, winner-take-all mentality, the only way to save face at this point, in their minds, is to own up to it - act like it’s what they wanted all along. And, hey, it’s funny to watch, right?

“Why is Osomatsu all my examples”, you might be asking. Well, he’s the damn blueprint for it all. The leader of the bunch, the first personality to grab your attention, has had all his issues projected and ricocheted in their echo chamber.

Ultimately, my point here is that you could think their “canon characterizations” (though canon means nothing in a show like this) as being intertwined with the nature of their self-aware existence. They’ve shown you all their tricks, the smoke and mirrors are getting boring, and they’re stalling long enough the story seems to be moving on without them - in spite of them. And when something genuinely threatens their way of life, they don’t know how to respond.

You can play it all straight, of course. Remove the meta jokes and all the same plot points can be hit, but, as a slapstick comedy, it’s able to easily add this additional layer in that I appreciate. I’ve said it in my last post and I’ll probably say it in more, but with comedy comes sincerity - the caveat of all the cartoon violence is that, on some level somewhere, this is how they really feel.

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: Sports Goofy in SoccerMania: GoofTales Woo-oo! (Paid For for WeirdKev27)

Gorsh all you happy people and welcome back to Goof Week, my Weeklong Celebration of everyone’s favorite goofus. 

And today we have a special treat, something nice and obscure but something that still has a vital place in Disney History. Welcome folks to Sports Goof in Soccermania!  

So yesterday in my Goof Troop review I wished there had been another DuckTales episode with Goofy, you know maybe find out what happened to Peg, see Max and Roxanne again that sort of thing.  Whelp SOMEONE must’ve hid a Monkey’s Paw around here somewhere because I got this special instead on comision. This is a VERY intresting little artifact as it came out only 4 months before DuckTales, was produced around the same time, and was written by Tad Stones, who would both go on to work on DuckTales and even more importantly create Darkwing Duck. 

Not only that but it has some odd things attached to it: it’s the first major production starting Scrooge, as he had an educational short about him, the first animated appearance of the Beagle Boys and most important the FIRST time Russi Taylor would voice Huey, Dewey and Louie, something she’d do till her passing a few years ago. At the time of this article she has not been recast, though I personally vote for Cristina Valenzuela, who took over the role of Young Donald and frankly does such a good job with that voice I didn’t know if Russi had already recorded lines for Season 3 before her passing. 

So what IS Sports Goofy in Soccermania you ask? It was a TV Special from 1987, again four months before DuckTales, that was later sold on VHS. My guess is Disney intended for this to become a regular thing like the Charlie Brown or Garfield specials, but my honest guess is with DuckTales MASSIVE success they wanted to put all the TV Animation resources into making more shows to go with it. The fact the special is essentailly a Scrooge story with Goofy in it and Scrooge and the Boys were now tied up in DuckTales probably helped the decision. So we only got one of these and i’m proud to share it for Goof Week. So join me under the cut to see what a Sports Goof is, what Scrooge sounds like without Alan Young or David Tennant andto see me refrence the film UHF because I likes it. 

 So we open with the titles which are neat and then open at the Money bin, we even get a great sign gag that looks like something Carl Barks would write.

So Scrooge greets his nephews the way he greets everybody.. with a canon to the face... though he backs of firing once he realizes it’s them. The boys ALL wear red this special so .. I guess Huey won and now rules all three bodies with an iron fist? So the Huey Hive Mind asks Scrooge for a donation, a standard Scrooge setup, ask the rich asshole for money, as their trying to help the local soccer program and they need a buck fiddy for a trophy. 

Scrooge’s voice here.. is terrible. I do not like to bash voice actors, they are hard working talented people who do a lot of great stuff, often for less pay than they deserve, and this blog ALWAYS makes that painfully clear. And Will Ryan is not without talent: While he hasn’t done much i’m familiar with he did play Petrie in Land Before Time and was great in it. So while I don’t dislike him as a person.. he did an utterly DREADFUL Scrooge. He dosen’t really attempt to do a scottish accent despite the character still saying cannae at one point, and as for what accent he is going for...

His Scrooge just sounds like someone trying to do a “foreign” accent and failing. It just sounds weird and makes every bit of his dialouge aside from one a chore to sit through. And the dialouge isn’t bad dialouge, it’s a well written and animated Scrooge even with the lower budget than Ducktales, but the voice just ruins it for me. Even without Young and Tennant to compare it to this just blows and the fact it’s paired up with the iconic Russi Taylor voice for the triplets.

This being Scrooge he instead fishes a Trophy out of the bin that’s all banged up and dinky and shoos them out. So in natural Barksian fashion the trophy turns out to be worth a million dollars. So we get some reaction shots.. INCLUDING GRANDMA DUCK!

For DuckTales fans joining us who have ZERO idea who that is, since she sadly did not make it into the reboot and Frank did have ideas, Grandma Duck is Donald, Della and Gladstone’s grandma. She’s a sweet old country woman who lives on a farm and is in fact the one who sold him Kilmotor HIll, with her husband renaming it from Killmule hill. I like her a lot since she reminds me of my own grandma and like her she still works when she can. Donald’s cousin Gus loafs around and eats as her farmhand. As you can tell I like her a lot, agani because she reminds me of one of my grandmas so this was nice even if she was only around for 20 seconds of screentime. 

This ends up in the paper and sends Scrooge through the roof, literally when he finds out. 

Two notes  before we move on: The bin has a unique really cool design , though I get why other productions haven’t used it: besides this one’s obscurity while cool it just looks a bit TOO nice for Scrooge. Even in 2017 while still damn cool looking it still looks practicle. This .. is not that.

This looks like MC Hammer built this. It still looks awesome bu tit’s just not Scrooge sadly. 

The other is that his Butler is named Jeeves here, but looks almost exactly like Duckworth. Just feels weird is all. 

Naturally the Beagle Boys happen upon the paper too and their leader, no name given has a plan: Enter legitmately and win the cup all legal like, which dosen’t sound like it lives up to the beagle code of no hones twork.... until he brings up theri going ot cheat their asses off. 

Meanwhile Scrooge tries bribing the boys with a giant trophy at their house... with Donald oddly absent despite Anselmo having taken over for Nash by this point. I know he was still a bit rough at the roll, but come on. It’s just.. weird especailly for reasons i’ll get into soon. 

So Scrooge agrees to sponsor the boys teams so he can get the trophy back square, and is forced to buy a knew ball and here we FINALLY get Goofy. I say finally because this special is 20 mintues long and it takes almost a fourth of it for him to arrive. It’s just weird for him to not be in it for so long. I mean I don’t want THIS

Flashbeagle didn’t take a fourth of the special to get to Flashbeagle. It did take longer than that to get to the title track but when your sitting on THIS

You gotta use it JUST right. Goofy here is not played by Bill Farmer, which IS odd as he did start playing him that year, but my guess is they weren’t sure if they were going with Farmer or the actor who played him in this special, Tony Pope, so they were trying out both as whoever DID get the role would have it for life. Disney takes the casting of the sensational 7 VERY seriously, as evidenced by the fact most cast changes are caused by death and unlike with Tony and Donald it’s clear Colvig hadn’t picked a succesor. I can also see why it’s a hard choice: while farmer IS excellent and was the right man for the job, Pope is still excellent in the role, bringing the warmth and energy you’d expect from Goofy and having excellent comedic timing that’s vital to getting the dog man right. I can see why this was such a hard choice, even if I also see they went with Farmer: Farmer just has slightly more energy to the roll. It’s a small diffrence and something that dosen’t effect the special, but it is a KEY diffrence and the reason Bill’s THE goofy to me even over his original voice actor Pinto Colvig. 

Also I may of mispoke there... see it’s not Goofy in this special it’s SPORTS Goofy. No really every bit of dialogue refers to him as Sports Goofy. It’d be like if they refered to then CEO Micheal Eisner as Won’t Think Through Eurodisneyland Micheal Eisner. 

So Sports Goofy helps them get a ball in an honestly awesome way and shows despite his clumsy manner, he’s damn cordinated, easily putting everything up and showing some real skill with the ball. So Moneygrubbing Scrooge decides Sports Goofy is his ticket to get the trophy back and recuits goofy as coach and star player for the boys team. 

So Asshole Scrooge meets his team the Greenbacks.. which are a bunch of random animal characters with no real personality. They are a hippo, a goat, expresso the ostrich, a navy (blue) seal,  an elephant in a beanie, a killaroo and a cheetah or leopard. But I have one question, really simple really easy one...

You need 11 players for a soccer team, thank you google. So they DID get that accurate. With Goofy and the Triplets you only need 7 more. THIS is why Donald’s absence is glaring: he’s just oddly not there when they needed 7 other characters but Elephant in a Beanie gets in there. And it’s not hard ot fill either: Donald , Daisy (Because duh), Gyro and Grandma Duck (Because both cameoed but I only mentioned Grandma Duck, though this is ALSO Gyro’s first apperance), Gladstone (who as it turns out had a cameo storyboarded that didn’t make it into the final product), Gus (Since grandma duck) and Scrooge’s butler since he was in an earlier scene anyway so why waste the character model. They could still play the same roll as easily steamrolled underdogs and it’d make more sense.  It just baffles me that with such a deep bench to play from, they don’t use ANY OF IT in favor of the cast of Animal Soccer World.

The Greenbacks can’t play for greenjack, which worries Scrooge.. but Goofy is able to carry them to the finals, while the Beagle Boys make their way there too. We find this out.. via newspaper transition. We get a bunch of headlines telling us what happened instead of you know a montage because that costs money and they already spent 1.50 making this special.. they only have 50 cents left. 

So the Beagles recognizing Sport Goofy is the only thing in their way plots a kidnappin. We get a gut busting scene of the beagles all hiding in Sports Goofy’s house with him being oblvious only to spring on him. 

The next day with Sports Goofy a no show the team is bummed, even mor ewhen they find a kidnapping note from Don’tGetNotToLeaveEvidence Beagle Boys. Seriously give that to the officals. 

So Asshole Scrooge tries to give a rousing speech... and it is a sight to behold and the one highlight of pope as scrooge... it’s why I picked it as the article image. That glitching isn’t me by the way: it REALLY does that. Coupled with the yellow eyes i’ts just fantastic. So the team decides to morosely play the game and Hivemind Huey boos scrooge for not having faith in him. Instead of again you know telling the officials. Maybe assimilating the other made Huey dumber. I

So the game begins and the Cheating Beagles cream the Give Up To Easily Green Backs, while Sports Goofy watches from the other Crime Beagles hideout. It honestly reminds me of UHF: a dumb well meaning guy whose vital to something succeding is kidnapped.. it dosen’t involve Weird Al dressing up as rambo but still. It also makes me want UHF but with the disney cast. Fethry as weird al, Donald as his best friend, Fethry’s girlfriend for the comcis as weird al’s girlfriend, Gyro as philo, Goofy as Stanley, and Pete of course is Stacey Keach. I could go on but you get the point. Someone draw this.  Sport Goofy is a clever bastard and escapes by working one of his shoes off, taking a nearbye knife and cutting himself free.. and almost stabbing a beagle boy in the face but that would just make two. Sport Goofy escapes and the lunkheaded beagle boys chase after him IN THEIR CAR WHILE GOOFY RUNS AHEAD OF IT.  Goofy, he can really move! Goofy, he’s got attitude! Goofy HE’S THE FASTEST THING ALLIIIIVEEEEEE. Sport Goofy makes it in time fo rhalf time, rallies the troops and it goes how you’d expect: They overcome the beagles blatant cheating, win the cup, the beagles attempt to cheat with a rigged ball backfires and they all get arrested. It’s by the numbers stuff. We end with Scrooge deciding to dontate the trophy instead (though in a great bit asking if it was tax deductible), and posing for a team shot> We get some awesome credits music and we’re out

Final Thoughts:

This special is mediocre: There are only a handful of great jokes, it’s your standard “teamwork makes the dreamwork plot” that dosen’t work because our underdogs really CAN’T play without their star, and Scrooge’s voice hurts to listen to. Pope and Taylor are great and while Will Ryan is an awful Scrooge, he is a good Beagle Boy or five. 

It IS worth a watch though. It’s riffable enough with the sometimes sloppy unfinished animatoin in the last part and Scrooge’s terrible voice, and it is still is a neat oddity for 90′s kids like myself to not only see Russi’s first thing as Huey Dewey and Louie, but to also see Scrooge and Goofy with vastly diffrent voice actors, as well as Gyro and the Beagle Boys first animated apperances. The fact this came just months before Ducktales makes it all the more intresting. So if your looking for a legit good Disney product.. this is shoddy at best if well meaning. But as a bit of disney history, especially only clocking in at 20 minutes so it’ sa brisk watch, it’s worth a look if your into that. 

Next On Goof Week: We come on in To The House of Mouse where goofy becomes faster than a speeding punchline,  more powerful than pete when his family has to wrestle him to the ground to take him to the doctor and able to make tall leaps of logic in a single bound. it’s SUPER GOOF!

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[sahrayliathefaelia]

on destiel, fandom, stories, and love

i initially discovered supernatural in september 2011, almost a decade ago. there wasn’t a whole lot in the way of queer representation then, and much of what did exist was sorely lacking. all i personally had at that point was glee, which would unfortunately become notorious for its complex queerphobia despite its verifiable rainbow of explicitly queer characters. so when i learned about supernatural and the mountains of homoerotic subtext that purportedly existed between two of its main characters on a quite literally cosmic level, i mainlined that shit so fast you would’ve thought i was actively dying of thirst. i started watching supernatural EXCLUSIVELY because of seeing destiel all over my dash. i clung to dean and cas--as individual queer characters and as a queer romantic relationship--like a life preserver. i didn't realize it fully then, but i was watching queer media history in the making. dean: a deeply traumatized, emotionally repressed, and faithless bisexual man with a heart of gold on fire; and cas: an immensely powerful, impossibly naive, eldritch gay angel without a soul but with ice blue grace in his veins, would genuinely fall in love with each other in the most epic of slow burn romances, against ALL fucking odds, defying narrative constraints both in-fiction and in the real world. i had never seen a love story (and it WAS a love story) told like theirs before, much less an inherently queer love story, unfolding over the course of more than a decade of television.

and this was entirely by accident! i cannot stress enough that the people making supernatural never ever intended for destiel to actually happen; they just kind of tripped and fell into it through a series of increasingly unfathomable circumstances, including the writer’s guild of america strike and misha collins’ general existence. once the supernatural creators realized that this baton had dropped from the sky and into their hands and they actually started trying to run with it, they ended up writing a truly UNBELIEVABLE amount of text and subtext between dean and cas that oops, became so intrinsically interwoven with the larger narrative, it stopped being queerbaiting and unintentionally veered into queercoding before barrelling straight into: oh shit, i guess we’re actually doing this thing now. yes, supernatural inadvertently stumbled into the greatest love story ever told by pure fucking chance. and boy howdy, their sheer ineptitude in handling this story with the care and nuance it so richly deserved was astoundingly astronomical.

we were viciously and maliciously queerbaited with destiel for TWELVE ENTIRE YEARS, straight up fuckin gaslit for more than a decade by the proverbial powers that be, who told us time and time again that we were somehow delusional for deigning to read dean and cas’ relationship as romantic, when THEY were the ones repeatedly writing their dynamic with undeniably romantic overtones DIRECTLY IN THE TEXT. i was deep in the supernatural fandom for just over two years, but i eventually jumped ship in october 2013, a handful of episodes into season 9 airing, because by that point i KNEW i was bisexual, and i KNEW that queer fans of supernatural who saw destiel for what it was were being deliberately lied to and manipulated, and i’d had enough. up until november 5th, 20 fucking 20, i hadn't been anywhere NEAR supernatural. if i were to time travel to october 2013 and tell my 21-year-old self that in ten years 1) destiel would become canon the same night that donald fuckening trump would be voted out of office as president of the united states of america, and 2) i would become so hyperfixated on supernatural again in the ensuing months that i would experience an unprecedented creativity renaissance and be more active in fandom than ever before, i would’ve punched me in the fucking face. the fact that i’m writing this post at all is utterly bonkers. and yet, here we are.

it’s hilariously astounding to me how the supernatural bigwigs are STILL doing their damndest to gaslight fans into believing that destiel never existed, placing literal actual fucking gag orders on their actors which prevent them from being able to talk about their characters or destiel in any meaningful way that acknowledges what happened in their own show. THEIR OWN FUCKING SHOW. when like. they did that. THEY did. them. they planned, wrote, filmed, and aired that. fucking.

ANYWAY.

twelve years later, destiel is canon. homophobically, but like, it happened. and no matter how vehemently the powers that be are trying to sweep it under the rug, it HAPPENED.

the best, most beautiful thing to take away from all of this, is that destiel (and everything else that was great about supernatural) has always transcended the limitations of the established narrative and created its own unique narrative, and that narrative has always belonged to supernatural fans, particularly so now that the show is over. destiel belongs to us. we know that dean and cas are very much alive and well and happy together, and so are the rest of their family and friends, as they all deserved to be. we’ve come together to take charge of the narrative and tell the story of supernatural as it was meant to be told: with love. because, at its core, that is what supernatural is truly about. after all, love is stronger than death.

[chemicalmagecraft]

Foresight is 20/20 Chapter 4

I yawned. I probably shouldn't have stayed up so late, and using my Shoraigan apparently didn't help. "You wanted to see me?" I asked as I sat down at the seat he'd prepared for me. Hiashi had told Hinata to tell me to meet him in his office (I was actually already on my way there because future vision), which currently was empty except for him.

Hiashi nodded, then took a sip of his tea. "First, would you like some tea?" He gestured at a cup of tea obviously set out for me. I cautiously took a sip, not wanting to be rude, then gagged. Seriously, how do people drink that stuff? "Not a big tea fan, I guess..." he muttered to himself. I wordlessly pushed the cup away from me, relying on my look of disgust to indicate that he was right. "I wished to see if you have the ability to sense chakra, as you requested. Before that, however, I want to know if you have any more observations about your eyes."

I smirked. "Well first off, and I know that this isn't my eyes, but it's eye-adjacent, soooo..." My smile grew slightly as I channeled a small amount of chakra into the white markings on my eye rings like I did when I activated my Shoraigan, causing the markings to light up like little flashlights for a second. "I know that future sight is objectively the better power, but I still really like this. I'm also hoping that I can somehow turn this into some sort of offensive jutsu somehow, maybe something like Storm Release: Laser Circus?"

Hiashi frowned. "Isn't Storm Release a Kekkei Genkai?" My smug grin returned, which caused him to chuckle. "Ah, right. I'll see if I can find..." He trailed off, then sighed. "I honestly have no idea what we could do for that aside from testing the hand seals used in similar jutsu and perhaps adding elemental chakra in to see if that does anything, but if I somehow come across anything, I'll let you know."

"Thanks. I also figured out that I can displace my senses in just space and not time, which I can use to spy on people undetected. So far, I've noticed no upper limit to the range of that, so if there is one it's already far enough away that I can see other hidden villages without any problems. I guess that displacing my vision in space is a lot less ludicrous than displacing my vision in time. I've also noticed that, for some reason, it's easiest to view a future where I don't exist, if that makes sense." In other words, canon. "With me, I can reliably see about a day into the future. Without me, I've managed to see about thirteen years into the future. I'm sure that I can improve both over time, though."

Hiashi frowned. "Such a powerful dojutsu... using it must have some drawback."

I rolled my eyes and licked my lips. "The Rinnegan only really has a major downside aside from chakra drain if you start using the Outer Path, which 'just' leaves you with summoning everything and anything, turning your body parts into highly advanced technology, attraction and repulsion powers that can be utilized at a magnitude high enough to level a hidden village, sucking up chakra fast enough to destroy and stop ninjutsu, stealing people's souls to read their minds, and some sort of 'if you lie, you die' jutsu. Probably other stuff, too."

Hiashi gaped. "The Rinnegan is real?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yeeeup," I said, making a popping noise with the "p" sound. "I mean, the Shoraigan totally has a weakness, but the Rinnegan isn't a myth."

He frowned. "Why did you mention the Rinnegan, then?"

"I just wanted to see your reaction," I admitted with a chuckle. He sighed. "The downside of the Shoraigan is that using it makes me really tired."

Okay, remember when I said that I was somehow fine staying up for longer than I used to in my past life? See, at one point I ended up staying up a whole night doing nothing but chakra exercises with intermittent breaks to let my chakra regenerate as a test of that "not getting as tired" thing. Then I stayed up the next day when I felt totally fine. And the next day. And the next day. It took five whole days (literally whole days) for me to start to feel really tired, which I had, at the time, chalked up to having abnormal amounts of mental energy or something combined with already having a lot of experience with not falling asleep or something like that. But now, though, I had suspicions...

"I got decent sleep yesterday, but I feel like I've been up for almost a week now."

For the fourth time in the week that I'd known him, Hiashi looked as if his brain bluescreened because of something I said. I was honestly starting to feel a little bad for him at this point. Did he get a concussion recently? "Repeat that last part again?"

It didn't stop me from laughing internally as I answered, though. "I got decent sleep yesterday, but I feel like I've been up for almost a week," I said, as if I was the one speaking to a child. It's not like a small child with my eyes but not my memories would realize anything was wrong with how weird my sleep schedule was without being told, which I was not, so of course I didn't realize "I feel like I haven't slept for a week" was an alarming statement.

He gave me a concerned look. "How are you still awake?"

I gave him a quizzical head tilt. "I'm not really sure what you..." Pause for idea to form... light bulb expression... "Maybe I don't get sleepy? I remember you said that Kekkei Genkai users have better chakra reserves so they can use their Kekkei Genkai. Maybe the Shoraigan has something similar, but with getting tired." I placed a finger on my chin. "Do people get tired after not sleeping for a day?"

"Yes, yes they do. Your theory is... plausible." Hiashi speculated. "Hyuuga are resistant to eye strain and sensory overload, which is a must for using the Byakugan. How much did you use your eyes last night?"

"I spent... like two or three hours testing out my future vision and remote viewing. I found out that I can speed up my future sight, which may have affected how tired it made me."

"How much?"

"I can tell you every noteworthy event that's going to happen in Konohagakure within the next twenty-four hours, some of the goings-on of other major villages in that same time period," Found out that Gaara didn't have his love tat yet and looked in on the other jinchuriki, "and major events within the next thirteen." Okay, I did review some stuff, so that's technically true.

"What else did you do that made you stay up so late?" he asked.

"Jutsu practice, writing down everything I thought I should tell the Hokage, existential horror, trying to shoot lasers out of my markings, and trying to make other new jutsu," I listed off.

"What was that middle one?"

"Lasers are awesome. Weren't you going to teach me how to sensor?"

He chuckled. "Fine, just make sure to get some rest later and don't stay up more than three days in a row, or less if you get tired sooner." He paused for a moment, then said, "I feel like that isn't the sort of thing that a parent normally tells his child... As for chakra sensing, I want you to start by trying to feel the chakra that I'm going to produce." He held his hand out to me, making chakra emanate from his palm. "Hold your hand out if you have to feel it better, just don't touch the chakra." I held out my hand and started to feel... something from it.

"Do you feel it?"

I nodded.

"Good, now close your eyes. Concentrate on how it feels." I did as he asked, sticking my tongue out a little in concentration. "Good. I'm going to pull my chakra away from you a bit, so try to keep feeling the chakra." I already knew where this was going, so I wasn't surprised at all when I heard his voice from across the room a few minutes later, saying, "Now open your eyes." I saw him standing on the far side of the room. "Did you feel it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He gave me a small but warm smile. "Great, that's the first step. You have the potential."

kukukuku~

"I have a question," I told Hiashi, lying on my stomach on the floor and lazily kicking my legs into the air. I'd just finished another session with Kakashi where he'd taught me the basics of genjutsu, as Hiashi had asked him. I'd... almost gotten yin release down and could already disrupt some genjutsu. Sure, it was only weak genjutsu I could disrupt, but I was looking on the bright side. I theoretically knew illusion powers.

"What is it, Kouki-kun?" he asked.

"What are you going to do about the Caged Bird Seal?"

Hiashi sighed. "Ideally, I'd like to replace it with a seal actually meant to protect our bloodline, but the only seal masters in the Hyuuga family are too stuck in their ways to even consider it and nobody would trust a seal not made by a Hyuuga."

I licked my lips. Exactly the dialogue prompt that I wanted. "So it has to be a Hyuuga, but there aren't any Hyuuga seal masters that you can trust enough to do it." I faux-sighed and exaggeratedly pretended to be annoyed with the implication. "Fiiiiiine, I guess I just have to do it myself."

"What?"

"I'm being raised by the Hyuuga clan head, so hopefully I'll gain the trust of the family within time." Unfortunately my adoption was a little... divisive within the family at the moment. Most of the family trusted Hiashi's judgement, yes, but not everyone. And unfortunately some of those Not Everyones were rather important family members. I just avoided them and acted polite whenever they cornered me. "It wouldn't look suspicious at all for me to learn about seals, seeing how I've already persuaded you to get me knowledge on the subjects of ninjutsu, genjutsu, sensing, and maybe eventually healing. Plus, we've already established that I can stay up for three nights in a row without needing to sleep at all, so that might make me able to learn faster," I listed off.

He stared at me. "You planned this, didn't you?"

I smirked and placed my hand on my chest. "Why father! Are you suggesting, perchance, that I knew you would say that and thus decided to use it as an opportunity to persuade you to have me taught in the ways of sealing?" I smiled slightly at him for a second, then said, "Because if so, I did and I am."

He laughed and ruffled my hair. "Hey!" I yelled.

"You're lucky you're cute," he told me.

"Curses!" I shouted. "My attempts to be taken seriously have been thwarted by my cuteness yet again." Hiashi just chuckled again.

kukukuku~

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed. He had had a very long day. In addition to the usual paperwork of the Hokage, he'd needed to deal with his advisors and their complete inability to realize why it was a terrible idea to declare war on Kumogakure. Again. Yes, a Kumo-nin had tried to kidnap the Hyuuga child, but the Raikage himself had said that the man was acting rogue and the Hyuuga clan head said that it was fine so long as another incident like that didn't happen. He took off his hat as he finally entered his bedroom, intent on finally getting to take a nice, long nap.

And then he saw the small child of doom sitting cross-legged on his futon. "Hiyah!" I told him.

"Hyuuga Kouki," he sighed. "How did you get in here?"

"I'd say that your guards need to step up their game, but to be fair, I did cheat," I told him, quickly flashing him my eyes as explanation. With the Shoraigan, it'd been pretty easy to know exactly what the patrol was. That, plus the fact that I have really good ears to hear when they were close, made stealthing my way into the Hokage's room pretty easy. My ears were more sensitive than I remembered them being, but I'm pretty sure that that one was just the fact that I was younger and hadn't had to deal with The Loudmouth and Crazy McBarksalot instead of some new magical power I'd been granted. Seriously, I love my little sister, but the best way I can think of to describe her is a younger, female Present Mic with a weaker Quirk and who doesn't talk like a radio show host all the time. Our dog is cute, too, but she's literally barking mad. Or, I suppose, was... "Do you want to know why I'm here?" I asked him, pushing that thought aside.

He sighed. "I'm sure you have some grand revelation that's going to leave me questioning my sanity again."

"Bingo," I said. "First, though, I have to give you my official first bit of advice as your advisor." He nodded and stared at me intently. "You really shouldn't have made some random kid your advisor just because he could see the future. You got lucky that I'm so wise beyond my years."

"I was thinking more about later, when you have more experience, but it's good to know that you're good enough to realize the flaws in my decisions now," he retorted.

"True, buuuut there's also the fact that you have no idea what my intentions are," I countered. "For all you know, I could resent the people of the village for their terrible treatment of Naru-chan. In fact, I do resent them somewhat, but I just forgive them enough to not want to do something stupid. I only resent them enough to want to make them see how horrible their actions are and feel despair from it."

Sarutobi nodded. "I thought of that, but I also decided that if you saved Hinata-chan in the way you did, then your intentions must be good."

I rested my cheek on my hand. "Or I could have just used the incident to get into your good graces. For all you know, I could've unlocked my Shoraigan before the Hyuuga incident and planned that all out in advance."

He sighed. "Your point is?" It wasn't angry or anything, just resigned.

"I'd take my advice with a grain of salt if I were you. Sure, I could just be super upfront about everything, but I could also just be doing all this to lull you into a false sense of security. Best to be careful."

"Okay..." he said. I laughed to myself. He was starting to look confused. "What are your intentions, then?"

I took out my journal, now full of every major event and character that I could think of from Naruto and details about them. "In this book, there are several major events that I plan to stop or mitigate the fallout of." I offered it to him. "Read it all, please."

He took the book and began to leaf through the pages of it. "When did you learn to read and write this well?" he asked me. It was a fair question. Despite the fact that we were speaking Japanese and everything was written in Japanese, I was fully capable of comprehending it all as well as I comprehended English (don't ask how the puns work, just don't). The only snag was that I didn't have any knowledge of kanji, which did make my reading comprehension closer to my age than if I knew kanji, but I still knew a lot of words and could tell what they were in hiragana (or katakana when applicable) even though I hadn't seen or heard them before. My guess was that author!Me just made me able to speak Japanese and didn't adjust my skill to be at my age level. That guy's a lazy jerk, y'know? At any rate, that wouldn't be a good answer for him for multiple reasons. I would have paused to think of an answer if I hadn't seen this whole exchange already.

"I used my eyes to find someone teaching a kid how to read. Managed to get really good from that, somehow. Still need to learn kanji though..." I should probably be disturbed by how well and how nonchalantly I could lie if I have it planned out in advance, but meh. It's probably a good skill for a ninja, anyway... "I think that we should start by doing something about Gaara, then the Uchiha incident, and then start worrying about the invasion," I suggested. "By the way, just in case, you really shouldn't just arrest the people involved immediately. Some of them have yet to do anything. Just be wary of them until you can prove that they've done a punishable offense or are about to do a punishable offense."

"I know that. If I may ask, why would you suggest helping Sunagakure if you know they're going to betray us?" I could tell that it was more of a "test his character" question than a "give me one good reason" question.

"Gaara doesn't deserve it, Suna could be less likely to betray us if we help them, and Gaara and I are raccoon-eye buddies," I listed.

He blinked at that last one. "Raccoon-eye buddies?"

"He has markings around his eyes and I have markings around my eyes," I explained like it was the most obvious thing ever. "I mean, it's as plain as the markings my face." Sarutobi sighed at that.

"What could we even do for Gaara?" he asked, looking at his entry.

"I'm hopefully going to learn about seals, so I'm going to try using my Shoraigan and maybe an unconscious Naru-chan to figure something out if I get good enough. Speaking of, I don't suppose you could get me some sealing notes from the Uzumaki? Especially something about biju-sealing?"

"If you think it'll help, then fine, I'll see what I can do. Having another seal master loyal to Konoha is always a good thing. Are there any other things that you'd like?"

"Jutsu scrolls for Transparency Jutsu and, if you can get them, Earth Release: Earth Spears and Earth Release: Underground Projection Fish or jutsu like them. Preferably the fish one because it doesn't disturb the ground too much and looks super cool." He nodded. "Next, I'd like to say something that I thought of that could help with the Uchiha incident."

"If you think it might help."

"Set up a council of advisors with clan heads, other important shinobi, and elected civilian heads," I advised. "Put more than one highly competent Uchiha on the non-clan shinobi council so that it appeases the Uchiha. And just in general try to keep them from feeling alienated."

"I'll think about it. If that is all, shouldn't you be off to bed? I'm sure your father's worried about you."

I laughed, then started preparing chakra threads so I could Spider-Man away from there. "He knows I'm here. I still should be going, though. The next time window where I can leave is right... about..." Instead of finishing that thought, I jumped out the window into the night, leaving behind a note that said, "Is there any reason why you don't use shadow clones for paperwork?" I didn't see it, but I knew that he was hitting himself as he read it. Because Shoraigan.

kukukuku~

A few weeks later

I got up and stretched for a bit. Sure, that book on seals that Father got me was really interesting, but I couldn't just sit still the whole night. I was amazed at how intuitive it was. It was like what little I'd learned of how to code, but I had yet to lose interest in it because I was learning how to code what was essentially magic. Though I think it was more like a combination between programming, music, and grammar. Maybe. I'd already managed to make a basic seal that just glowed when you put chakra in it. Sure, I could do that myself, but I did it by hacking the universe! That's even cooler than flashlight eyes! Plus it was apparently the first step in making paper bombs (converts chakra into radiant energy, change it to a large burst of thermal and kinetic).

I did some of my exercises, making sure to be quiet so as not to wake anyone up. When I was done, I reached out my senses, hoping to practice my chakra-sensing. It'd been a few weeks since Father had first started me on my chakra-sensing training and I could already sense the general direction of where people were by their chakra from a good distance. Sure, I had to concentrate really hard to do it, but I could sense people! From a distance! It was so cool! I always thought that characters in shows with those powers that allow them to tell where people are were really cool, and it was even cooler to be doing to sensing myself! I did a sweep of the general area that I knew the orphanage was in. I figured that it'd be easier trying to pinpoint a specific person in a group if I started first with the ridiculous chakra beacon that was Naru-chan. He wasn't quite as ridiculous as he would be in ten years, but in an orphanage full of untrained children and with him having already practiced chakra? I found him almost immediately.

I remembered what Karin said about him. Even now, his chakra had that warm glow to it that Karin had felt. I "looked" more closely and felt the seething and sinister chakra of Kurama boiling inside of him. I honestly felt bad for him. I'm pretty sure that in every incident that caused Kurama to have a reputation as a mindless, rampaging beast, he was just controlled by some jerk Uchiha calling himself Madara. Plus, he was sealed in someone for about one lifetime, then transferred to another person, this one with the nickname "Red-Hot Habanero," then when he was finally freed to stretch his legs he was mind-controlled by that masked jerk who I'm pretty sure is actually Obito, then split in half and sealed in an infant. I'd certainly be grumpy if that happened to me.

"A human who actually cares what a biju thinks. Now that's a first," a deep voice said from within my head. I suddenly felt like I was falling, and found myself in a familiar-looking... was it supposed to be a sewer? Thankfully, this time around the floor wasn't wet, though there were two canals on either side of the spacious room where the mind water flowed.

I looked up at the giant fox. "Hello, Kurama," I greeted him.

He looked down on me. "Tch. So you are the seer boy my jailor is so fond of," he said. "I should've realized that you would find some way to get in here."

"The word 'jailor' implies that Naru-chan is aware of your presence and is willingly keeping you here," I corrected, then sat down. "If anything, he's a jail."

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm stuck in here until the seal weakens."

"True," I said. "While I can't outright destroy Naru-chan's seal to set you free, seeing as that would kill him and brand me a traitor to Konoha, I'd like to help you"

"Feh. You just want to get on my good side so you can use me for something," he scoffed.

I licked my lips. "I admit that I would like to pick your brains on the subject of seals, considering how you were inside two Uzumaki, one of whom had Namikaze Minato inside of her," at this point Kurama started laughing hysterically. I waited for him to stop before continuing my speech. "But I'll only do that if you want to. No coercion aside from trying to be nice to you, which you are also totally free to refuse, though I feel I should remind you that I seem to be the only one aside from Naru-chan capable of entering here. Do you know anything about that, by the way?"

He blinked. "I thought that you were using some sort of jutsu meant to contact me."

I shrugged. "I just used chakra-sensing on Naru-chan and got here somehow. I figured that you had something to do with that, what with your biju telepathy and all."

He grumbled. "I can't use that unless I'm close to another biju or Naruto lets me. It'd have to have been you."

"Huh," I said. "I'm starting to think that I was exposed to your chakra back when that intangible guy I doubt isn't actually Uchiha Obito took control of you and... absorbed it, I guess. It'd explain how my eyes can turn red and why I have more chakra than I probably should. Could be the reason behind my Shoraigan. It also sounds like the kind of twist that I'd write in a Naruto SI fic, which also corroborates that theory."

Kurama stared at me, and I felt like his eyes were piercing deep into my soul. "I don't know what that last thing you said means, but I do sense some of my chakra on you. It's disproportionally yin, which explains why you were able to use biju telepathy despite not actively using any of it, but you seem to have been soaked in enough of my chakra that you now naturally produce small amounts of it." That was exactly my headcanon on how Sora, Ginkaku, and Kinkaku worked, by the way. I wonder why I was right. It was almost like I was the one writing it... "How that happened to specifically you, I don't know, though I suppose if you were only an infant at the time you'd need a lot less to get to that point. Perhaps you were just close enough to me that the chakra I gave off was enough."

I blinked. "Did you just... scan me?"

"I used the link you so graciously provided me to sense your chakra, yes."

I tapped my chin with my finger. "Stare into the abyss and it stares back..." I muttered. "Say, what do you think I could do with your chakra?"

"Back when I had actual yin chakra, I could use it to easily use genjutsu, at least easily for me. I have no doubts that you could use my chakra to increase your ability to use genjutsu. You could also probably use it to telepathically communicate with other humans, and perhaps even use my malice-sensing power. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Did you miss the part where I literally said that I would do things for you with no expectation of anything in return?" I snarked, giving him a flat look. "Because last I checked, that's exactly what a favor is."

He chuckled lightly. "Because that asshole Minato sealed most of my yin chakra in himself with the Shiki Fujin, I'm currently at about half power. I can't use it at the moment and I'm still cataclysmically powerful anyway, but my power is a matter of pride for me. Even now, my power is slowly regenerating, but it'd come back much faster if someone on the outside who was producing my yin chakra were to contribute. It won't be much, but it'll help. Just for added motivation, I'd have to teach you to use my yin chakra for you to do it and expending my yin chakra like that would increase not only your stores of human chakra but your ability to produce my chakra as well."

I licked my lips. Sounded like a pretty good deal, as long as it didn't hurt Naru-chan at least. "You do realize that you don't have to give me any motivation for me to help you like that, right? Though it certainly does help." I was silent for a moment, then thought of something. "How would I give you your yin chakra, anyway? Hiruzen had a point when he made you a secret from Naru-chan. The boy should be allowed a normal childhood."

He sighed loudly. "Fine. As much as I'd like to break the boy, I suppose I have to follow your rules if you're going to help me. You should be able to slowly but steadily transfuse small amounts of yin chakra into the boy through touch. It wouldn't be enough for any form of negative repercussion as long as you're not trying to hurt him, and the seal will cause my chakra in his system to flow back to me when he's not using it. All you need is to learn how to use my chakra."

I nodded. "Okay." I thought for a few moments. "Hey, do you think that it'd be possible for me to use some sort of jutsu to, say, temporarily transfer your mind into some form of... I don't know, plush cat maybe?"

Kurama's eyes widened. He grinned, then started to laugh. "Heheheheh... HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I once made a seal to do exactly that after hearing Tobirama explain the Edo Tensei to my first jailor. Well, not the plush cat part specifically, but you know what I mean. I gave up on it after realizing that I would need someone with my chakra to use it, and there was no way that she would ever agree to that. You, however?" His grin widened. "I don't even care how limited my freedom would be. I'd be free!"

I smiled at him. "Good, good. I'll probably have to tell my father before we do it, though. I feel like he might want to know beforehand if I summon the mind of a giant demon fox that attacked the village to put in Fluffy-san."

He grumbled. "I suppose. You'd better give a very good argument as to why you should be allowed to do it."

"You said it's an idea you got from the Edo Tensei, right? I'm sure that Father would be at ease if I knew of a way to send you back without trouble."

"There is a set of seals that can release it like the Edo Tensei, yes. Beyond that, I wouldn't have any of my powers in that body and would eventually be sent back when I run out of chakra, which means that I'd be completely dependent on you. I suggest that you tell him that if he has reservations."

I nodded. "That seems like a good enough argument, especially if I mention how you were controlled during that one incident." I walked up to the bars of his cage and held my hand out to him. He stared at it. "It's called a handshake, though for you it'd be more of a clawshake."

"What."

"It's something that people do when they agree on something, or something like that. All I know for sure is that it's a sign of respect." He blinked, then slowly held a single claw out to me. I grabbed it and shook it with both hands.

"I know what a handshake is, you know." He chuckled. "You know, you are most certainly the strangest human that I've ever met, and that includes the Sage of Six Paths, who had horns."

"Tsesesese~" I chuckled. "Is that really a bad thing?"

He huffed. "I never said that."

[pinelife3]

Sleepless in Seattle

I rewatched Sleepless in Seattle recently on a plane, and now I’ve crawled out of my cave to declare: this movie is not romantic!

Directed by Nora Ephron, Sleepless in Seattle, is regarded as part of the canon of great rom-coms. Ephron and Rob Reiner (who actually appears in Sleepless in Seattle with a great bit about tiramisu) are kind of the big-dogs of rom-coms in that people still talk about the films they made 20+ years ago (some together, some separately):

The Princess Bride

When Harry Met Sally

Sleepless in Seattle

You’ve Got Mail

Rom-coms are tricky to define - for example, is Shakespeare in Love a rom-com? There is romance and comedy, but the lovers are separated at the end. What about Top Gun? There are iconic romantic scenes and the lovers do end up together, but the love is really a conciliatory prize (the real prize is being the best at flying) and the romance is more of a B or C plot in the film, so Top Gun probably doesn’t qualify. People talk about rom-coms as having to posses certain tropes - for example:

A neurotic, highly mannered protagonist (ideally played by Meg Ryan or Hugh Grant)

An argument featuring dramatic irony, where the audience knows more than the characters and sees their misunderstanding unfold

A grand final gesture to win a lover back after a stupid misunderstanding: a last-minute dash to the airport, a last minute dash to a new year’s eve party, a last minute dash to the Empire State Building

But for our purposes, let’s say a rom-com is anything that:

Places the romantic plot at the core of its film AND

Has a happy ending (i.e. the lovers are together at the end) AND

Features genuine attempts at humour along the way. 

LOTR features a romance plot, but there’s a lot of other stuff going on (something about a ring?!), therefore it’s not a rom-com. Same deal with Bridesmaids. I would classify Superbad as a kind of rom-com because most actions taken by the protagonists are to secure love (or at least sex) from the girls they like. The English Patient? Romantic and HILARIOUS but the lovers aren’t together in the end.

So does Sleepless in Seattle qualify as a rom-com?

Yes, the whole point of the movie is to get Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks together. This plot dominates the film - but is it romantic? More on this to follow.

Yes, in the world of the film, a happy ending is secured because Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are together

Yes, there are some laughs along the way. Mostly at the expense of poor Bill Pullman who is playing a man with severe allergies. There is also some precocious-child related humour

Back to point one: I contend that the ‘romantic plot’ in Sleepless in Seattle is actually anti-romantic. In fact, there are two romance plot lines (both of which fail to be romantic) because this bitch is engaged to another man throughout the ‘romance’ with Tom Hanks.

Before we get into that though I have another major gripe: at the start of the film, Meg Ryan and her fiancé (Bill Pullman) leave home together to drive to a family Christmas lunch. They leave the same location at the same time and are heading to the same location - no stops along the way. But for some reason they take separate cars. The film provides no reasoning for the separate cars. It is patently odd and really bothers me.

Let’s take a look at the script:

________________________________________________

EXT. BALTIMORE SUN BUILDING - LATE AFTERNOON - CHRISTMAS EVE

As Annie [Meg Ryan] comes out of the newspaper building with WALTER JACKSON [Bill Pullman], a tall, handsome man who wears a hat. They're carrying an armful of Christmas presents. They're walking toward the parking lot.

WALTER

The short one with black hair  is your cousin Irene --

ANNIE

-- who's married to --

WALTER

Harold, who ran away with his secretary but came back --

ANNIE

-- because Irene threatened to put the dog to sleep if he didn't --

WALTER

And your brother Tom is a psychology professor and is married to...Betsy --

ANNIE

-- who is the most competitive woman in the world --

They put the presents in the backs of their two cars and pull out together.

EXT. A HOUSE IN BALTIMORE SUBURBS - NIGHT

Christmas lights twinkling as the two cars pull up in front of a comfortable upper middle-class house and park their cars. They get out assembling presents.

________________________________________________

This whole thing with the two cars was scripted - and even in the script it’s unexplained. My suspicion is that this just a device to get her in the car alone later so she can hear Tom Hanks on the radio - and thereby fall in love with him. This is LAZY writing. Why not just write that she had a premonition and saw a wonderful widow in Seattle and knew that they should be together. That would make about as much sense as the separate cars.

People criticise rom-coms for having unrealistic premises. For example: Last Christmas, in which a woman hangs out with the ghost of a man who gave her his heart - via transplant - the previous year. A ridiculous premise made unbearably kitsch because of the connection to the WHAM song. But honestly that makes about as much sense as an engaged couple taking separate cars for no reason.

Allow that gaping goatse of a plot hole to set the scene for the other major problem with this film: our romantic heroine is already engaged. Engaged to a man she finds boring. She remains engaged to this poor guy throughout her infatuation and pursuit of Tom Hanks. She lives with this guy, sleeps with him, plans her wedding with him: all while she is falling in love with Tom Hanks. She remains engaged until the final 10 minutes of the film when she finally dumps him. She keeps telling this poor guy she loves him. It’s evil. Can you imagine what /r/relationships would say about someone who behaved this way? This is an emotional affair.

As much as rom-coms celebrate the pursuit of love and marriage, they also caution against bad or inadequate love: it is not romantic to settle. A classic example of this is Charlotte Lucas in Pride & Prejudice: she marries the ridiculous Mr Collins to secure her future and avoid spinsterhood - but she doesn’t love him and won’t ever love him because she doesn’t respect him. Readers in Austen’s time may have been more sympathetic to Charlotte’s decision since the nature of marriage was quite different back then and spinsterhood was a seriously undesirable outcome, but contemporary audiences commonly interpret Charlotte settling for Mr Collins as a weakness of character. That decision and her life with Mr Collins only serve to reflect further radiance on Elizabeth Bennet: wistful, bitey, beautiful, beloved for centuries. That’s why no one writes fan fiction about Charlotte Lucas. 

So, in Sleepless in Seattle, the audience sees that Meg Ryan is settling for the wrong guy. This is communicated to us primarily through the visual gags around Bill Pullman’s allergies: he uses a huge number of tissues, he’s allergic to everything from strawberries to bees, he has a special respirator machine to help him sleep. This guy can’t get the girl! He can’t even breath properly. It’s clearly isn’t meant to work out between them. No, no this won’t do at all. 

What is the function of the unsuitable fiancé as a plot device? Why couldn’t this be a romance between two single people? Is it to make her cross-country pursuit seem more whimsical and fun? If it to demonstrate that she can get a guy? I actually think it’s meant to create stakes: it’s so she has something to hold her back from ‘following her heart’. This is a way of adding tension so she’s risking something (normalcy, comfort) by making the last minute dash to the Empire State Building to meet Hanks (who represents the possibility of windswept romance). Never mind that they’ve never actually spoken to each other. He’s a single parent? Um sexy! He’s a widow? Swoon. Seattle is rainy? I’m already wet.

If it’s important to the plot that she is already in a couple when she falls for Hanks, and that she casts aside an unsatisfying relationship for the mere possibility of passionate excitement, then we have had it wrong all along: the grand romantic gesture of Sleepless in Seattle is Meg Ryan dumping her fiancé. Forget the Empire State Building. It’s her telling him that she’s had an emotional affair. It’s her taking off her engagement ring. It’s her blaming him for being boring rather than working on their relationship. It’s her leaving him sat in that restaurant alone so she can go and pursue a stranger.  

This movie is not romantic. 

[lcnguor]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess.......  so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

[demonslayvr]

HEADCANON 112 / TIMELINE.   so after days of sitting on what the fuck my timeline is going to be i’ve finally come up with this  --  it’s a running timeline and will be added on and/or edited as i write more on certain NPCs or events that i might add between games or parts of the timeline. 

PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM WILLING TO WORK THINGS OUT OR CHANGE MY TIMELINE IF THINGS DON’T WORK SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU.  I’M HAPPY TO COMPROMISE ANY PART OF THIS TIMELINE TO WORK WITH ANY MUN WHO WRITES WITH ME.

>  born younger sibling to vergil and things go on as normal until the fire where the two get separated and presumes vergil dead.                       >  with him being a terrified and emotional mess of a kid at this point                         he didn’t  100%   follow eva’s instructions to begin with as he runs                         (   with rebellion in arms   )   straight to authorities and ends up                         having to ID her body later.  he lies in saying he knows her but                         breaks in days later in the middle of the night to steal her body                         and  bury her on the family’s grounds.   (  there was no real grave                         marker made due to dante wanting to leave red grave   but    dante                         knew 100% where it was pre dmc5.  i say  was  because with the                          qliphoth pretty much showing up in the backyard and the destruction                         of the house later  . .  the grave was   HUGELY  disturbed.  obviously.   )  >  tries to live on the street                      >  doesn’t last longer than two months before CPS finds                          and identifies him.  at this point he’s too tired to really run away                         and gets put into the foster system.  >  in the foster system and going from family to family.                     >  runs from some fosters due to figuring out that the only                         reason he was taken in was due to government checks                         and he given bare minimum care.  he’d jump back to the                         streets,  do a bit better due to his older age but end up                         back to an orphanage or in the foster system.                     >  ends up with   gavreel,  comfortable and starting to settle in                         on staying with the cast out angel and her family only to find her                         dead due to demon’s looking for  him  which starts to breed a deep                         guilt.  picks up what he can ;  mostly money and anything small or                         valuable before ending up back in the system.                     >  last foster with gaia  ;  follows devil may cry’s anime canon with how                         dante ended up on the coastal town morris island before gonyakzu                         appeared and massacred the town in trying to find dante himself                         and feast upon him. gaia and dante   --   now known as tony   --                           escape the town with blame on their backs.  dante knowing that                         gonyakzu was after him and the people dead are essentially are                         on his hands.  he parts with gaia with gaia after her death soon                         afterwards,  product of being injured at some point in the escape.   >  starts testosterone at age 15  -  16 under the table with money held tight after gavreel’s demise and him running along with earnings made with gaia’s bakery business and after a deal to take care of an annoying demon for the doctor.   >  finally starts mercenary work still under the alias of tony redgrave and frequents bobby’s cellar for jobs and actually makes a couple friends  -  meets nell goldstein

>  DMC novel  /  pre dmc3 novel canon events.  (  15 - 16  )                    >  diverges off here at this point between my blog canon and canon’s                         that will depend on the vergil i write with.   my blog canon   is that                         his past again rolls up to try and grasp at him which doesn’t entirely                         fly.  the bobby’s cellar massacre occurs and it   was not    gliver                         who caused it here,  it was a set of demons looking for dante  --                           all end up dead and dante leaves leaving the death of his friends                         behind him and holding ebony and ivory in hand from nell.  leaving                         tony dead where he lay and reclaiming dante as his name.                    >  with vergil’s that   do   have gliver as part of their canon and following                        novel timeline instead then,  sure,  i’ll follow your canon events.                          basically with vergil’s that follow the novel canon i follow that canon                        with them   only  where gilver showed up,  looked around and made                        a goddamn fucking mess >  literally nothing  /  taking mechanical,  what’s left of merc and / or demon work     from information brokers that are willing to hire his demon / investivatigve     services  (  16 -  18  )

>  pre devil may cry 3 manga’s events.  (  18 - 19  )                      >  gets top surgery at age 18 - 19 with with the use of a mixture of left over money and cash he’s saved from mercenary work  /  demon hunting  /  sex work    

>  devil may cry 3′s events  (   19  -  early 20s  )                     >  post dmc 3.  meets clementine,  dates her for a bit,  almost proposes                         to her,  ends in a mess.                      >   meets edmund lowell one year after clementine leaves,  has his child                         whom he names fortune before giving them away due to being unable                         to support them properly  /  feel like he could properly protect.                         (   not 100% canon but compliant with @strwberryglr​  )                     >  partial canon to timeline but only counts to marvel character                         interactions:   marvel vs capcom game events.  kinda all over.                          gag canon for fun. >  devil may cry 1′s events  >  episodes 1 - 12 of the devil may cry:  the animated series  /  anime >  devil may cry 4′s events                            >  POST GAME:  starts an emotional  /  mental health decline                                that pretty much has him pushing people away as his                                depression gets worse over time.  has a go at not caring a                                lot as his empathy tanks but still trying to keep humans out                                of harms and do his job which leads into dmc 2′s events                                and how he is as a character.  the novel completes his                                decline and almost shatters it many times over >  second DMC novel  /  pre dmc2 novel canon events.                            >  dante’s in the other dimension for 2 months  /  six months at                                home >  devil may cry 2′s events               >  dante’s stuck in hell 10 years real world time  /  5 years underworld time               >  returns and struggles to regain his footing in a world he’s not been in for                   ten whole years. >  devil may cry:  before the nightmare’s events                >  meets lucia again,  throws hands with balrog and receives him as                   a devil arm after breaking the fragment of the yamato.  >  devil may cry 5′s events                >   returns home from hell at some goddamn point with                       (   or without   )    vergil.

[upontheshelfreviews]

As a lifelong Disney fan I can’t understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me. In childhood, he was an icon and friend – instantly recognizable, a source of joy and entertainment, a hero and a role model. I know this is making me sound like one of those cheesy sponsors reading off a cue card, but when you’re talking about a mouse, expect plenty of cheese to be involved.

In the spirit of Mickey celebrating his 90th birthday, I’d like to share with you my 20 favorite shorts he starred in. Why 20? Because I couldn’t narrow it down to ten and I like to go nine steps beyond as opposed to one.

There were only two rules I set while making this list:

Mickey is the main focus, or at the very least he must be given as much to do as the other characters he shares the cartoon with. There’s a lot of great shorts out there that has Mickey’s name in the title – Mickey’s Parrot, Mickey’s Circus, Mickey’s Birthday, Mickey and the Seal, Mickey’s Christmas Carol, etc. – or has his face in the intro that advertises it as his adventure, but upon watching you find they’re really about Donald, Goofy or Pluto or literally anyone else but him.

Shorts only, no segments from full-length films or direct-to-video works. This means no Mickey and the Beanstalk from Fun and Fancy Free or various bits from Mickey’s Once/Twice Upon A Christmas, but sadly no Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia. I thought of excluding any short that ran over the usual length of five to seven minutes to about twenty, but that made my job even harder.

Now before we get to the countdown, here are a few Honorable Mentions:

Mickey, Donald and Goofy in The Three Musketeers – If I were including full-length films on the list, this would be in the top five, bar none.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia – It would easily take the number one spot if it didn’t overlap with the #2 rule.

Plane Crazy – The mouse’s first appearance on the silver screen, though he wouldn’t make as quite a splash until his sound debut in Steamboat Willie a few years later

Orphan’s Benefit – One of my favorites as a kid. It made me laugh something fierce and still does, though a large part of it has to do with Donald and Goofy’s segments, hence why it’s only an honorable mention. Also, did you know that the color one we’re mostly familiar with is actually a remake of an earlier black and white version?

Mickey’s Delayed Date – Pluto and Mickey tussle for attention in this outing.

Haunted House – Spooky and atmospheric. Classic Disney nightmare fuel.

The Gorilla Mystery – Mickey plays Minnie’s white knight yet again as he goes to-to-toe with a dangerous gorilla.

Two-Gun Mickey – An American Tail: Mickey Goes West.

Mickey’s Surprise Party – After Minnie’s dog spoils the cookies she was making for Mickey, he saves the day with some shockingly transparent corporate sponsorship. At least I take comfort in the fact that Mickey’s favorite cookies are the same as mine.

Hansel and Gretel – Mickey and Minnie stumble upon a treacherous witch to the ominous strains of Danse Macabre.

Mickey’s Cabin – Mickey outwits Pete and his dimwitted cousin with a little reverse psychology when they hold him hostage in his winter cabin. Hilarity ensues.

Croissant – Mickey’s first short in the modern style proved you can’t keep a mouse on a mission down.

Yodelberg – Continuing with the previous short, it’s modern Mickey at its most fast-paced and stylish fun.

Shanghaied – It’s up to Mickey to save the day and Minnie again, this time from Pete and his dastardly crew of pirates.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol – Mickey’s first cartoon in 30 years has him slightly out of the spotlight, but still got him back in the public eye for good.

20. Mickey’s Trailer

This gets the lowest spot because the first half mainly focuses on jokes surrounding Donald and Goofy in their cool little mechanical trailer. But when it reaches the second half? That’s when things really kick into high gear. Goofy obliviously unhitches the trailer as they’re traveling through a perilous mountain pass and it’s up to Mickey to keep his vacation from reaching an untimely end. It’s amazingly suspenseful, with plenty of close calls from oncoming vehicles, trains and cliff sides. They still manage to sneak in a few decent moments of slapstick, but not at the cost of any of the tension. My only wish is that we could have seen Mickey and Donald’s response to Goofy’s cheerful “Well, I brought ya down safe and sound, a-hyuck!” at the very end. No doubt it would have been hilariously karmic.

19. Mickey’s Mechanical House

Coming from the Mickey’s Mouse Works/House of Mouse era of cartoons, we get a whimsical story in Seuss-esque rhyme, narrated by John Cleese no less. Sick of the inconveniences of his old abode, Mickey moves into a sleek totally automated house. He quickly learns, however, that easy modern conveniences aren’t what make a good home. Unlike the other cartoons made in this time, the art style goes for a 50’s retro look that pays homage to the likes of UPA. I especially appreciate the cameo from the iconic Mars robot from the famous Disneyland episode Mars and Beyond. That’s how you know this short was made by real old-school Disney fans. The story is charming, the gags are clever, and it earns this spot on the countdown.

18. Giantland/Gulliver Mickey

Yes, I know I’m cheating here due to this being a tie, but I found these two shorts to be similar enough that I felt they were both worthy of the same place on the list. Each one begins with Mickey telling a story to his…younger counterparts? Nieces and nephews? Godchildren? They all refer to him as “Uncle Mickey” and they all look like him so maybe they’re really…no, best not to think of the implications.

Anyway, Mickey makes himself the hero of each tale, firstly in the role of Jack in Jack and the Beanstalk (no doubt somewhat inspiring his future gigantic adventures in The Brave Little Tailor and Fun and Fancy Free), then of him being the giant washed up on the shores of Lilliput. There’s some good action all around, and plenty of creativity in showing the giant’s world, Mickey’s storytelling and how the Lilliputians attempt to subdue their captive.

17. Magician Mickey

Mickey’s putting on a magic show, but he’s constantly heckled by a disbelieving Donald. Little does the duck realize he’s messing with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice himself, and Mickey uses all his mystic powers to troll back at him. Even though it’s arguably Donald’s short as much as it is Mickey’s, he does provide the main source of the conflict, and Mickey does not hold back when providing some good old magical vengeance. He remains the perfect showman throughout, and the tricks he plays to get back at Donald are inventive and hilarious. I admit, I still crack up at the running gag where Donald attempts to go in one of his unintelligible tirades and spits out an entire deck of cards. Just goes to show you don’t mess with the mouse, especially when he’s in magician mode.

16. Steamboat Willie

Ah, the one that started it all. Well, technically it was Plane Crazy and The Galloping Gaucho, but Steamboat Willie was what really thrust Mickey into the limelight. It may be simplistic by today’s standards, but this short is nothing…short of iconic. It establishes everything you need to know about the character of Mickey Mouse – inventive, friendly, helpful, but not without a strong mischievous streak. Being one of the first cartoons to have fully synchronized sound certainly helps. It not only pushed the popularity of “talkies” but introduced the world to what would become one of the most recognizable characters of all time. How could I not include it on the list? I already wrote an entire article on its significance, so if you want to know more, feel free to go read it.

15. The Mad Doctor

When people talk about the darkest moments in Disney animation, there’s a reason why this short is often brought up. The Mad Doctor goes for straight-up horror, and pulls no punches. Mickey must work his way through a creepy castle to save his beloved dog Pluto before he becomes the next victim of the titular doctor’s dangerous experiments. There’s lots of shadows, spooky living skeletons, and booby traps galore that threaten Mickey along the way. It’s perfect fare for Halloween.

Without giving away the ending, it’s the kind I’d normally call a bit of a cop out, but I don’t see how they could have worked their way around it. This short was deemed so scary upon release that it was banned not only in the UK, but in Nazi Germany, which really says something. It didn’t frighten me that much when I was a kid, but there’s a pervading sense of dread that makes it unlike any other Mickey Mouse cartoon ever made. Its impact on the canon was strong enough that the Mad Doctor was made one of the main antagonists of the Epic Mickey video game. And getting to take him out after all these years is one of the most satisfying game moments you’ll ever experience.

14. Around the World in 80 Days

Now for something a bit lighter. Some of the best shorts made for Mickey’s Mouse Works and House of Mouse were the “Mouse Tales”, two-part adaptations of classic novels with Mickey and the gang filling in the roles. This is a simplified but still fun take on Jules Verne’s famous globetrotting adventure. Instead of a wager between high society gentlemen and a robbery caper mixup however, Mickey must circumnavigate the globe in order to claim an inheritance and save his orphanage. Goofy and a rescued native princess-turned-love interest Minnie (there’s no way around some of the more dated aspects of this story, is there?) help him along the way, but they also have to deal with a meddling Scrooge McDuck, who’d do anything to get his feathers on the fortune. They manage to squeeze in some great jokes, usually involving Mickey’s deadpan reactions to Goofy’s cluelessness. It’s a decent retelling that hits all the beats and will probably get kids interested in checking out the original story.

13. Ye Olden Days

Nothing like a good old-fashioned medieval romance to warm your heart. Humble minstrel Mickey attempts to rescue fair damsel Minnie when she refuses to marry foppish Prince Dippy Dawg – that’s Goofy’s early moniker to those not fluent in early Disney – and winds up engaging in a joust for her hand. Mickey and Minnie may not be the most fascinating couple in film history, but their earnest devotion to each other shows why their relationship has stood the test of time.

When I was rewatching this to see if it deserved a spot on this list, I was particularly impressed by how spirited Minnie was – she does not take her arranged marriage lying down, slapping the self-absorbed prince in the face while declaring “Never!” and fighting her captors every step of the way as she’s dragged to the tower as punishment. Plus, it’s her intervening on Mickey’s behalf that saves him from the guillotine and allows him to engage in trial by combat. Mickey, ever the underdog, uses his size and cleverness to his advantage, outdoing the prince in all his regalia with nothing but a spear, a suit of armor fashioned from a potbelly stove, and an intrepid donkey. I really don’t have anything to say other than this short’s simplicity and sweetness never fails to win me over.

12. The Pointer

An expertly animated adventure for Mickey and his loyal canine, even if the idea of the Mouse going hunting wouldn’t fly today. I just love Mickey and Pluto’s interactions; they remind me so much of me and my dog and the time we spent together (though let it go on record that I never have or most likely will engage in hunting for sport). This isn’t a case of the pet being smarter than the master like in future shorts, either. Those always aggravated me because of how they really dumbed down Mickey. Both are on equal footing here, and both get into equal amounts of trouble.

The moment where Mickey tries to talk his way out of an encounter with an angry bear is equal parts tense and humorous. It’s also one of the rare times I can recall Mickey attempting to use his own popularity to escape from a jam (“Well I’m, uh, Mickey Mouse! You know, Mickey Mouse? I hope you’ve heard of me…I hope.”) According to Andreas Deja, animator Frank Thomas incorporated a bit of Walt’s own actions while recording the lines for this scene, giving it a superb bit of what Thomas would call “the illusion of life”.

11. Lonesome Ghosts

Here we have another Mickey-Donald-Goofy venture with shenanigans surrounding the last two, but there’s enough of Mickey in there to make it count. Now tell me if this sounds familiar: a trio of oddballs, one smart if in way over his head, one irascible and sarcastic, and one delightfully naive, go into business capturing ghosts. And yes, at one point one of them says “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts”. It’s a shame Disney wasn’t able to capitalize on this fifty years later apart from syncing this short to the Ghostbusters theme in the DTV Halloween special. Lonesome Ghosts is a spooky jaunt where half the fun comes from the various ways the titular quartet of specters tease our hapless heroes. How the protagonists manage to send them packing kind of confuses me, but it still makes for a good chuckle. Steeped in atmosphere and loaded with laughs, Lonesome Ghosts is a ghoulish good time.

10. Mickey’s Good Deed

It’s Christmas Eve, and Mickey and Pluto are out in the cold with nothing but a bass fiddle that earns them barely enough to eat. A bratty rich half-pint sets his sights on Pluto and goes Veruca Salt on his father, leading to him offering Mickey a fair bit of dough in exchange for the dog. Mickey refuses, until he spies a poor widow and her many children even worse off than he is. This leads to him making a heartwrenching sacrifice to ensure they have a merry Christmas. It’s a short that runs the gamut of emotions. You feel for Mickey every second as he either loses everything he owns or willingly gives it up for a greater good, and there’s plenty of joy to be had when he gets his reward in the end (as well as when that terrible child is given his due punishment). I love watching this every Christmastime, and it exemplifies the giving spirit of the season.

9. Runaway Brain

You wanna know where that infamous image of a demonic Mickey came from? Well here ya go. Fast-paced, frightening and hilarious, Runaway Brain is a wild ride from start to finish. In some ways it feels more akin to a Looney Tunes short than a Disney one. The comic and story beats come right after another, yet leave room for sight gags and references a plenty. There’s even a brief shot that visibly homages The Exorcist. IN A DISNEY SHORT.

Borrowing from The Mad Doctor’s playbook, this time it’s Mickey who’s in a mad scientist’s sights after taking an offer for “a mindless day’s work” at face value, just so he could earn some vacation cash for Minnie. Said mad scientist, Dr. Frankenollie (love the nod there), voiced by Sideshow Bob himself Kelsey Grammar, switches Mickey’s brain with that of his King Kong/Frankenstein-esque creation Julius, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Pete. When the doctor is zapped into ashes by his own experiment – onscreen, mind you – Mickey, now trapped in Julius’ body, must find a way to get back to normal and stop Julius, stuck in Mickey’s form but no less monstrous, from pursuing Minnie. As I said before, the jokes come at you fast and hard. The climax in particular is especially rollicking, with some amazing lighting and coloring choices that pump up the action. As always, Mickey saves the day in the most entertaining – and in this case, bizarre – way possible.

8. The Band Concert

Mickey makes his technicolor debut in one of the first shorts that pits him against a troublesome Donald. All our stalwart conductor wants to do is perform a bit of William Tell for some music lovers in the park, but he’s consistently interrupted by Donald wanting to get in on the action with Turkey In The Straw and an improbable supply of easily breakable flutes. Still, you’ve got to admire both of them for their determination. I’d say nothing short of a cyclone could stop them, but that’s exactly what happens; the climax has them playing through the gale even as they’re hurled through the air! Considering the music they’re performing is appropriately stormy sounding, one has to wonder if they picked up their instruments from Hyrule. The Band Concert is a testament to Mickey’s unflappable perseverance and affinity for music.

7. The Little Whirlwind

Lured to Minnie’s by the promise of cake, Mickey agrees to give her yard a good cleanup in exchange for some dessert. Unfortunately, a playful sentient cyclone has other plans. I’ve never been bothered by Mickey’s voice, but this short shows how he works just as well silently. Much of the action is largely in mime with no dialogue. The slapstick is fun all around. I always did feel a bit bad that Mickey got the short end of the stick in this cartoon; after being tormented by the hellion hurricane, he’s pursued by a giant momma tornado who assumes her offspring was bullied for no reason, and when Minnie checks on his progress he’s blamed for the disaster area that was formerly her garden. I don’t know what the hell she was doing in the kitchen to not hear the two cyclones roaring through her yard but I hope it was worth it. At least Mickey ends up getting the cake – though not in a way he was certainly expecting.

6. Mr. Mouse Takes a Trip

Once more we witness Mickey’s loyalty to his equally devoted canine companion. A simple train trip to Pomona goes off the rails when Mickey must shield Pluto from dog-hating conductor Pete and both find themselves on the run from him. There’s disguises and mishaps galore, and it’s a constant back and forth to see who’s one step ahead of the other. Interesting fact: this short is also the source of the only known footage of Walt Disney recording his lines as Mickey.

5. Symphony Hour

A spiritual sequel to The Band Concert, Mickey once again plays conductor for a classical orchestra made up of his friends. Unfortunately someone thought it was a good idea to leave all the instruments in Goofy’s hands before their big debut, and they’re quickly destroyed. Now poor Mickey has to keep everything together as the concert falls to pieces and their sponsor Pete fumes from his viewing box.

This short… it’s hysterical. There’s no other word for it. Everything from the animation to the music – which sounds like a precursor to Spike Jones – cracks me up. Mickey is pushed to the limits of his endurance as his show crumbles around him. Not helping matters is the attitude of the performers. Sure, Goofy, Horace Horsecollar and the like soldier on admirably, but Donald threatens to up and leave several times. Yet Mickey isn’t afraid to stoop to any level to ensure the show, no matter how terrible, will indeed go on. And the worse it gets for them, the better it gets for us.

4. Thru the Mirror

After falling asleep while reading Alice Through the Looking Glass, Mickey dreams of entering his bedroom mirror and exploring the bizzarro version of his world on the other side. Living furniture, card battles and jazzy dance sequences ensue. Out of all the Mickey shorts on this list, this is probably the best animated. The scenes stick out in your mind long after the cartoon has ended. The size-changing walnuts, the catchy tap dance starting with a game of jump rope with a telephone cord that evolves into a Busby Berkeley homage with playing cards, and the escape from said cards while traversing the dangers of a literal living room? It’s golden age Disney at its finest. There’s not much in the way of story, but that’s not the point of this short. It’s just great animation fueled by years of practice and boundless imagination.

3. Get a Horse!

I remember hearing way back when this short was announced that it was supposedly one from Walt’s heyday which was lost to the ages and recently unearthed. Little could we have realized that it was merely a smokescreen – instead of an old cartoon, we were getting the first new theatrical Mickey Mouse short since Runaway Brain, one that paid tribute to the classic Mickey cartoons of old.

Since I watched Frozen more than once during its theatrical run, I had the privilege of experiencing Get A Horse as it should be: in a big dark movie theater with eye-popping 3D. It gives the perfect illusion that this crazy cartoon with characters jumping in and out and running around the theater really is happening right in front of you. Mickey and friends play around with the screen and the dimensions contained within and with-out in a way not seen since Chuck Jones’ masterpiece Duck Amuck. And having seen many, MANY classic Disney shorts before (if this list hadn’t already indicated), I could even tell where many of the sound bites used for the characters’ dialogue were lifted from. I simply don’t get it when people dismiss this short for “mocking” old school Disney when in reality it does anything but. I think this short is the epitome of what Disney is doing now with their animation, blending the best of the old with the technology and promise of the new. Also, Oswald cameo for the win!

2. The Prince and the Pauper

Talk about nostalgia. I watched this short with the same frequency as my favorite Disney movies on VHS. In fact, due to having no sense of time when I was younger, I thought this twenty minute short was about the same length as those films; it certainly flies by at the same speed. Mark Twain’s tale of royal identity switching has seen its fair share of adaptations, but this one will always be my favorite. We’ve got riveting action and phenomenal voice acting (Wayne Allwine, you were the best Mickey outside of Walt and Brett Iwan can’t hold a candle to you).

It’s also one of the most dramatic shorts in the Disney canon. Pete is at his most menacing outside of Mickey’s Christmas Carol. Scenes like where Mickey attends to the king in his final moments and the prince learns of his father’s passing carry so much weight to them. They’re framed cinematically and let you take in the gravitas. Still, that’s not to say there isn’t any comedy to be found. The Prince and the Pauper has plenty of moments that still make me laugh twenty-eight years later. It’s a short that has everything. Easily one of Mickey’s finest moments.

1. The Brave Little Tailor

If I were to point to one short that summed up everything I love about Mickey Mouse, all you need to know about him, and why he’s so great, The Brave Little Tailor would be it.

Due to a simple misunderstanding, Mickey is thrust into the role of reluctant hero, one who must face down a killer giant no less. But if most of what the previously mentioned shorts have shown, Mickey’s nothing more or less than the perfect underdog. And when he gets into action, he’s like a cartoon blend of Chaplin, Keaton and Fairbanks – not a coincidence as the former two were big influences on early Mickey. Scared though he is, he rarely panics. Instead he relies on his greatest strengths to save the day – his quick thinking, nimbleness from his diminutive stature, and his loyal, caring heart. There’s a reason why I chose this particular thumbnail for this entry. No matter how many times I see this enamored incarnation of Minnie shower her champion with kisses, making him stumble around dizzily and cheerfully cry “Whoopee! I’ll cut ‘im down to my size!” I always, always go “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww”. It’s just too adorable for words. When you’ve got someone who loves you like Minnie does, you feel like you can take on the world.

I could go on about how the scene where he’s telling the story of how he killed seven with one blow (that’s flies, by the way, not giants) has been studied by animation students and enthusiasts to the point where Junction Point Studios aspired to recreate that level of expression and fluidity when creating Epic Mickey, or how Mickey defeats the giant has been homaged in other shorts as well as the airport fight from Captain America:Civil War, or just that wonderful storybook golden age Disney feel it has from start to finish, but I won’t. By all means, seek out the short and see it all for yourself.

No matter how many times the corporate side of Disney has airbrushed Mickey’s foibles to present him as the bland, perfect company mascot, Mickey’s bravery, kindness, and penchant for attracting trouble has never been fully scrubbed away. Different voice actors, animators, story writers and financial visionaries have come and gone throughout the years, and each has presented their own unique take on the character, but there’s no mistaking the world’s most famous mouse, the one who started it all.

Happy Birthday, Mickey. Here’s to 90 more.

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite Mickey Mouse shorts? Share them in the comments and be sure to follow and check out my Patreon if you want to read more!

My Top 20 Favorite Mickey Mouse Shorts As a lifelong Disney fan I can't understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me.

[sinsins52]

Everything Wrong With Everything Wrong With Teen Titans Go! To The Movies

ORIGINAL VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq3g4pJY07Y&t=0s

1.He’s slightly improved in a few ways, but he still has the same terrible intro that begs for likes.

2.He also still refuses to put his sinning intro over the actual title card. So really it’s Everything Wrong With _____

3.”A full minute of intros and I’m not even sure because two of them were for the WB” The 2nd one was for WB Animation, which is no different from all the other major animated films, it ain’t that long of a log sequence until the Marvel joke one.

4.”And already the first joke is them playing off the Marvel Cinematic intro. There’s so many Marvel jokes in this movie one might think they’re a bit bitter because they’re kicking their ass in the movie industry” Marvel is the dominating force in the superhero movie industry, and this movie spoofs a lot of that, so no duh there’s some Marvel jokes. Hell, there’s some potshots at DC, even in the first trailer!

5.”The welcome to Jump City sign is well within the center of the city. I think everyone knows where they are by the time they get that far in” That’s how it works in real though, or in the least my city is like that. And get used to him being pedantic, even by Sin standards..

6.”I don’t think anyone’s accidentally going to Jump City, one of the most riddled with crime places in the world, right next to Gotham or Metropolis” I…don’t get this one. I mean I don’t even know how to explain why you’re wrong I don’t even get your point. That accidentally really throws me off.

7.He sins all the references in this establishing shot, even though they are basically cute Easter eggs that are not sins.

8.”Batman’s not even liked in Gotham yet he has his own building” But maybe Jump City likes him fine. Also, this version of the DC characters is different in tons of ways, so why are you assuming it’s exactly like the other version in this case?

9.”I am upset that this isn’t even a gag character. It’s an actual person who exists in the DC world” That same world also has Kite Man and Condiment King. Just saying, the DC universe is weird and it’s not weird for a spoof movie to acknowledge this.

10.”Before he was crushing buildings with no problems, but now he can squeeze between them without them even building” He was punching at them before to destroy them as they were smaller than him but these two were a bit taller and there was a small space. Do the math.

11.”The safe is comically huge in comparasion to the actual bank” Congrats, you noticed.

12.”This why you can’t bring Starfire to a petting zoo” They were balloons. They pop. Come on.

13.”I get it, they’re supposed to be failed heroes but they’ve done plenty of stuff even in the TTG to be known within their own city” Maybe to the citizens or something, but not to this random villain we’ve never seen in the show before, and maybe he’s not super up to date anyway.

14.”Can’t Wonder Woman still fly in this world? I’m not sure why they gave her the invisible jet other than lol references are funny again”. If I had an invisible jet, I would show it off as much as possible…Maybe not “show” per say…

15.Also, the jet isn’t really a joke so that doesn’t apply here.

16.”Of all the heroes in Jump City, they had to pull out the A squad for Balloon man?” He still a pretty decent threat though, with all the destruction he was doing.

17.”They only make movies about real heroes” “But they’ll sure as hell make a Netflix original about just about anyone” If you’re referring to the Marvel shows, they're about pretty well liked and solid heroes, even Iron Fist isn’t that silly or an idea given their roster.

18.”The titans can afford to make their own movie, they have a private island and own a giant building” You mean like they do make? The one Robin dislikes because it is is so rnky dinky and he wants a serious Hollywood movie?

19.He really over analyzes a background reference to Young Justice.

20.”Further proof that the bat credit card has been canon all along” How does that Utility Belt movie prove this?

21.He shows off a fairly lo0ng clip just to sin another background gag. He likes to run the clips for too long, almost like he wants the video to be longer for extra watch time…

22”Breaking the 4th but yeah, he’s not Deadpool” That would work better if not for the actual Deadpool joke they make later. Oh and this character that character!

23.’I get it, this is a comedy movie-” And that’s when you should have stopped talking. His sin is that Slade being more comedic is “insulting” even though it really isn’t.

(By the way, this scene has them thinking Slade is Deadpool and Slade finds that comparison stupid because there’s plenty of guys with swords like him. The Titans would be amazing at Cinema Sins!)

24.He says he’s removing a sin for the Circe of Life spoof…but he ends up adding one. Whoops.

25.”Batman kills a baby-” In a dream sequence.

26.”This improvised song already has a billboard” A visual gag for a song is a sin I guess. Also, no sin removal for this?!

27.”This might be a bit overboard for a nitpick-” Lol.

28.”Would it have been okay if his dad wasn’t a cop?” No, but that fact does make it a bigger deal.

29.”Stan’s cameos are not subtle but neither are the references in this movie” And yet when they are subtle, you sin them anyway.

30.”Leaving them with the permanent injures” “And huge medical dat making him go right back to that life of crime-” Yes, because if he didn’t have bills, he’d just…give up crime for no reason? Also, I have no idea what he says but it sounds like “Dat” for screw it.

31.”Raven, who didn’t know the time cycles even existed prior to this was able to summon them from an unknown location because that’s how her powers work now” That’s how they’ve always worked but okay.

32.”When I think of rad, I definitely think of terseness are on tricycles” What, you don’t?

33.”What’s up with the 80’s fetishim in this movie? Take on Me, Tricycles-” I don’t think Tricycles are an 80’s thing.

34.”And Batman doesn’t remember the Teen Titans being the ones that pushed his parents into an alleyway to be brutally murdered” Eh, it’s scarring and all but I can buy him not remembering their exact faces and hey, they don’t dwelll on it too much since you’re not supposed to think about the logic in this silly movie too hard.

35.The bit where Cyborg and Beast Boy fal to be saved prompts him to go into this long winded rant on how it’s not possible. And I thought the previous sin was pedantic. This is after he sinned the movie for having bits that go on too long, by the way.

36.The sin counter randomly drops to 42 before going back to 85 in the next sin.

37.”Superman skips leg day, because that’s what happens when you can fly anywhere” …K?

38.”You already have Netflix, so there’s literally no reason for this” This is on a bigger scale and tell that to DC.

39.”Can you guys mainly do this so that Robin can get the movie? Wouldn’t this be the right choice?” I have no idea what you just said.

40.”He would have to keep up this facade all these years to compete these movies” Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s nothing to indicate “Jade Wilson” has been around for years, just that she’s a big director and those can rise fairly quickly sometimes.

(Frankly the real sin is that he didn’t just give the Robin the movie right away so can finish his plot quicker. Seriously, he just made it more complicated for himself)

41.”Slade, instead of using the swords and guns he has, decides to instead blow up an entire town” I think that’s far more efficiency in this case though.

42.”For a plan this is pretty retarded” Ugh.

43.”Added camera shake to make things more intense” Yes, that is why they did that, well done. Also, I hardly even noticed that here.

44.”-And I don’t mean that shitty Netflix original series were Starfire looks like a hooker” It’s not for Netflix and something that way you worded that bugs me.

45.It says Episode Sin Tally.

SINS VIDEO SIN TALLY: 45

SENTENCE: Mind Manipulation

Yep, our old friend Moliminus actually beat SeriesSins to it. I wanted to give SeriesSins time to do his video, but his taking his time so here we are. I will do his sometime in January if all goes well. I think this is the most sins for an off brand video, but that’s only because this video is 27 minutes long for some reason.

Anyway, I want the SinsSin post that goes up closest to Christmas to be a Cinema Sins video, so we’re doing Off Brand sins next week as well. And with it, we go back to a 2000’s animated movie.

[kazziemuse]

Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie - Review!

My History with Hey Arnold!

Hey Arnold! It’s about time! Before I dive into the Jungle Movie itself, a note from history and the person writing this review. At the time of this writing, I am 29 years old. Yes, I am a late 80’s baby! And with that, I grew up in the 90’s…When we didn’t all have cell phones, the internet, online multiplayer gaming, and going outside to explore was daily life. What else was good about the 90’s? The cartoons…and, one specifically? Hey Arnold.

I remember at the time, Hey Arnold was a new thing in 1996. It would air during a two-hour time slot dedicated to after school cartoons called CITV. My Nan would pick me up from school at 3:00pm, and we would be home by 3:30pm, just missing the first cartoon. That was ok though, because beyond all else, my favorite by far was Hey Arnold. I used to sit with my Nan watching, and because Hey Arnold was SUCH a real-life show, it got my curiosity running wild. There was so much in this show that grabbed me, that taught me and that made me feel certain emotions for the first time. I would spend hours thinking about episodes and bugging my nan with questions about what we just saw. It must have driven her crazy.

In the many years that I watched CITV after school, not many cartoons from that time period stood out to me as well, apart from of course…Hey Arnold. And, I have fond memories of watching it with my Nan who, sadly passed away in the year 2000. I was 12 years old.

Hey Arnold “concluded” a few years later. And while I still loved the show, I was starting to move onto other things. Still waiting for TJM which, never came. In those early days of dial up internet, it was hard to find information if you didn’t know what you were doing. And thus, I entered my teenage years with the Hey Arnold book closed…But, for how long?

Fast forward to my early mid-twenties. OMG life, right? Real life? This sucks. Crisis after crisis…Let’s try and dive back into something that gave me some good feelings and thoughts. I know! I will dive back into some cartoons…Lets rewatch some childhood favorites, such as Recess and Hey Arnold.

Re-watching the Hey Arnold series as an adult was like watching a different show entirely. The emotion, the truth about how life can be so cruel, the real world problems these characters faced and most of all, Helga’s undying love for Arnold which of course, I shipped immediately. After finishing the Journal, I was devastated to find out the story of TJM being cancelled. I researched, signed the petitions and with little hope of Hey Arnold ever coming back…I counted my blessings and moved on into other fandoms, which would consume the next 5-6 years in terms of obsessions.

It wasn’t until about two years ago, I stumbled across the news that TJM would happen. And honestly? I was excited but not ecstatic. I had moved on and completely obsessed with other fandoms. More TJM information started to fly around, and I slowly started to become obsessed again. It’s only really in the last year or so, that I have re-watched the whole series, followed the news and subscribed to YouTubers. And with that, I’m hooked again.

Leading up to The Jungle Movie

So, with my history with Hey Arnold covered, was that really important? Yes! Because like many of fans, it’s a story of growing up with this show and how returning to the things you loved can bring back the same happiness. But now it’s time to dive into The Jungle Movie!

Where to begin? Craig gave us so much insight to this movie to get one internally screaming! But, at the same time, he didn’t reveal too much as to give us the whole plot. The balance was truly perfect. We would have the answers that we wanted. Where are his parents, and would Arnold and Helga ever be?

SDCC 2017. The first sneak peek is shown and boy! I remember that afternoon so well. My heart was skipping beats watching. Look at this! Look at the animation, how spot on the voices are, look at how true they are to the original characters. It felt like an absolute dream! No revival can be this good? Can it? The more and more footage and screenshots that got released…The more and more I got obsessed and excited. Honestly, at first I wasn’t too keen on Arnold and Helga’s animation. I felt at times it was too different from the main series, especially Helga. That point aside, we were still getting The Jungle Movie soon! And I’m sure it’s not going to ruin anything for me. Hell, it might even grow on me!

In the leading months and weeks to TJM being aired, it had become my main obsession again. Craig’s weekly to daily Instagram posts became something I kept checking my phone for; the previews got me running from my desk at work to a toilet, so I could watch and fangirl in private. This was amazing! I knew this ship would soon be canon! But also, we would find out the answer to the biggest Hey Arnold Mystery of all time: Arnold’s parents.

By now, I was part of Facebook groups, being as active as possible in YouTubers live streams, meeting other fans at ComicCon, and the best part…Making friends within the Hey Arnold community. I was so ready for The Jungle Movie.

The Jungle Movie

As a 10-year-old watching the show back in season 1, I would’ve had a glass of orange juice. Now, as a 29-year-old watching the premier of The Jungle Movie for the first time, I had a glass of wine in hand. The movie kicked off, and the palpitations in my heart were disturbing my comfort. But I didn’t care, Arnold was back on my screen for the first time in many years.

The first dream sequence was painful and emotional. He finds them, but they keep leaving him? This must be a huge fear for him. The wine is needed and straight away this film is grabbing me, it had my emotions from the first scene. Buckle up girl…It’s going to be a long night! Arnold subsequently wakes up, and the main plot of the film is evident. But, this is a cartoon! Cartoons are meant to be funny! Luckily, Hey Arnold has that balance of comedy and emotion, because here enters Grandpa and Grandma to smooth over that first hill of feels. The boarders haven’t changed apart from a slight change in voice, but nothing that’s upsetting. And a pig eating bacon? No I quite agree, that is not ok haha!

With Arnold meeting Gerald on his stoop with friendship thumb wiggle, accompanied by familiar backing of jazz music, it’s apparent that Hey Arnold has kept that original vibe. And I couldn't be more excited to see what was in store! Like bumping into Helga in the next scene. Classic! Helga’s introduction into the movie was our typical old Helga. Leaving her temporary home at the beeper emporium while arguing with her father Bob.

The Jungle Movie has aged with the current time in terms of technology. The characters are only a year older from the original series. Beepers (or, pagers as they are known here in the UK) are not a ‘thing’ anymore with the ever-growing cell phone industry. A small but clever gag was Phoebe explaining what a beeper actually was to our younger audience watching. On another note, Bob’s company is failing as beepers are now obsolete. You get what you deserve Bob!

We see our main characters bump into each other just like tradition. Helga’s behavior hasn’t changed (thankfully). She is still love struck, but quickly raising her defensive walls (shout out to Francesca Marie Smith for keeping her character so true). But one thing that really struck me about this encounter was Arnold. He was reacting to her differently as he would in the original series. Instead of his normal frustration at Helga scolding him, he just smiles, offers to help her up and laughs to her attempts to push him away. “Whatever you say, Helga” with an almost flirtatious look on his face. Wait WAIT, why is he acting like this? Is this a call back to him knowing her feelings after the confession at FTi? Very interesting!

We move onto what seemed like a classic episode of Hey Arnold. Arnold and Gerald working as a team to win a contest. Helga scheming to help then win in a hope to win his affection, and ultimately them winning leading onto the main plot of the movie. I thought this was an incredibly clever call back. It was like being back in that Hey Arnold magic. It felt so true and pure to the original series.

Arnold Shortman, A 10-year-old signing his passport and confirming a long term mystery of his surname. Which was right under our noses for the last 20 years. So, Mr. Shortman, you promised your Grandpa not to search for your long lost parents. Your grandma is hilariously dressed up as a Jungle explorer. Keeping her wacky antics is nothing but a pleasure to watch. Are you ready to go? What could possibly go wrong?

Olga is coming! What could possibly be worse for Helga? Again, the writing stays true to the original show. Helga living in Olga’s shadow and being neglected by her father in favor of Olga. Sad but true. I feel that the amount of neglect Helga experiences from her dysfunctional family reflects on the way she feels her emotions so strongly. She has a lot of love to give and just wants to be loved in return. She is so used to disappointment and neglect which is why she puts up her defensive walls and bullies people away. She doesn’t want to get hurt. The only thing she can express is anger. I feel that is why it is so difficult for her to show the real love filled Helga. She is expressing herself in the only way she knows possible that will keep her safe. But over time we see her brave enough to let her true self seep through…More on this later!

We see our favorite class of PS 118 saying goodbye to parents and loved ones. A huge call out to Mr. Simmons, who is saying goodbye to his gay partner. We don’t see LGBT awareness much in cartoons. As someone who is part of the LGBT community myself, I felt this was a very warming addition. Thank you Craig and team! On the subject of Mr. Simmons… How hilarious was he with his agenda? From the fictional city of Hillwood, to the fictional country of San Lorenzo, my friends, welcome to the jungle.

Here we are guys, after how many years, speculation and imagination…We are finally here with Arnold and his class in San Lorenzo! But remember to be at the docks at 3:00pm to catch the boat down river. Our captain is Eduardo; anything suspicious about him? Many of us from the get-go were suspicious about “Eduardo.” Now here he is, in front of us ready to pilot this boat, and straight away he is fixated on Arnold. And what the hell did he say about tuna anyway? (Yes, I know it was Fortune ;)) Sure, it COULD be his parent’s best friend. We don’t actually have any recent images of him and he may have aged…I mean…He seems friendly, welcoming and genuine. So far anyway, right? But we all know…this “Eduardo” fellow has a huge part to play and we all know it’s not going to be in Arnold’s favor.

It’s our PS118 students as funny as they were 15 year ago. And, I for one am so happy to see them keeping us entertained with their old antics. Arnold, however, is away from his friends and with “Eduardo,” speaking of his parents and hoping to find some answers. But remember, he promised not to go looking for them and Arnold is a boy of his word…right?

I felt Arnold was more out of character than anyone in this movie. But who can blame him? He has the opportunity that he has waited for his whole life: to find his missing parents. With such an opportunity, Arnold takes a risk under false assumptions, which inevitably leads himself and his friends to danger.

Speaking of Arnold being out of character and his development…something stuck out to me and few other fans about his behavior towards certain friends. We see Arnold obviously concerned for his friends’ safety and how he is struggling to keep composed after he is sworn to secrecy by “Eduardo.” Gerald, his best friend of whom Arnold never hides anything from, is the first to confront him. And to my shock, Arnold hides the truth even though Gerald is not oblivious to the fact something is going on…Arnold?

Instead, Arnold opens up to Helga…HELGA. And poor Helga…she has struck up the courage to finally (and again) confront Arnold about her feelings. Hoping that her efforts to get him there to San Lorenzo had nudged at his heart strings, Helga is frustrated when Arnold opens up about his fears of getting his friends in danger while he plans to look for his parents. Again, he opens up to Helga, and not Gerald. Is this maybe a sign of his feelings and trust in her?

We can understand Helga’s frustration and feels of rejection when Arnold dodges out again of her confession. Even though technically, they were having two completely separate conversations. Helga takes this as the last straw. To all of our gasps, she gives up all hope of Arnold retuning her feelings and destroys the most precious thing in her possession since day 1: her heart shaped locket of Arnold. Devastating right? Brainy?

The vibe of the movie is certainly starting to take a turn into unfamiliar territory. Craig Bartlett said, “Friendships will be tested,” and I guess, these are those tests. When you think things couldn't go anymore wrong for our gang, well…it does. They are attacked by river pirates. Eduardo, claiming Lasombra is behind the attack, tells Arnold to hide and forget about his friends…hmm…still trust him, Arnold? By this point, any trust I had in this guy was completely gone.

Epic sword battles, fights and rapids. Our PS 118 friends take the most dramatic journey of their lifetime. Clinging on for dear life, we are all on the edge of our seats hoping that no one falls overboard…Even Curly, who is having the time of his life up on the crows nest. After a rough ride, we end up ship wrecked. We can breathe a sigh of relief that no one is thrown overboard, apart from poor Eugene. But who didn’t see that one coming? But never fear, He’s ok! As he is his own lifeboat.

With some truths coming to light about Arnold being involved with why the attack happened, trust and friendships begin to suffer. It was heart breaking seeing Arnold being avoided by his friends…Only “Eduardo” there to help him up during their long-suffering hike to the safety of the camp. But for me, Rhonda absolutely stole the spotlight here… Come one, We are all Rhonda…taking selfies, refusal to part with one’s luggage and being absolutely traumatized at the thought of hiking through the jungle. Her reactions and deliverance had me laughing so hard. That is certainly something I would like to see more of in Hey Arnold future.

The montage of our PS 118 class traveling through the jungle was a chance to demonstrate some of our characters individually. It was fun to see Nadine having the time of her life collecting weird and wonderful bugs, Sid crying on the floor after the unfortunate demise of his beetle boots (good call back there), and Rhonda struggling to just do…well anything. These kids never fail to make me laugh, even today! They all have something special and individual about them.

We are about halfway through the movie now, and if you made it this far, thank you for sticking with me! Now, let’s move on to what we have suspected all along…“Eduardo,” right? Wrong…if you didn’t suspect something of this guy, then go back and watch again, because this guy had something about him from the get-go. Our “Eduardo” is actually none other than the film’s villain…Lasombra. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

We then learn the true intentions of the class trip to San Lorenzo. It was all a scheme conducted by Lasombra just to get Arnold there. Unfortunately for our football headed amigo…he’s already put a lot of his trust in this guy. And he was wrong to trust someone who won’t give out a Wi-Fi password.

As the story continues, I felt nothing but mixed emotions. I found myself laughing, and then soon wiping tears from my eyes. We have so many sad moments that tug at our heart strings. Helga’s monologues expressing her love for Arnold have always been some of the most rewarding scenes from the whole Hey Arnold series. The writing and deliverance from Francesca is nothing short of spectacular, and let’s face it. We’ve all been there! Arnold giving up whilst in-prisoned hit me so hard. His voice was full of regret and defeat. Arnold, the boy who is always so optimistic, has given up.

It takes Helga to talk him out of his depressive state, and to accept the challenges ahead of them. Helga is already sticking to her guns and coming out of her comfort zone to assist Arnold. Seeing her comforting him and really being there to offer her support, which Arnold accepts is just so heart-warming! A sign of things to come with these two? Maybe.

Secret pathways, using beepers to create a homing beacon, and a pig eating shrimp cocktail in first class? The only thing missing from this movie is violence…wait no, it’s got that as well. I was surprised to see such brutal deaths of Lasombra’s guards. Although it’s kept fairly ‘clean’ with no blood (thankfully), we do see a guy getting hit by multiple arrows, one guy plummet to his death, and another bunch of guys getting crushed by rocks. That’s quite a few on screen ‘implied’ deaths. Who said TJM had no action?

I doubt this movie could mess me up more than it already had, but boy was I wrong. The emotions were about to kick into overdrive, and I have only had 1/4 bottle of wine left by the time Arnold, Helga and Gerald had found the Green Eyes. The answers to all our questions of the past fifteen years were soon to be revealed. As a long time fan of the show, it was so special getting to see these mysterious beings for the first time. The way they acted, spoke, lived and looked was something one could only imagine for all this time. Not only were we about to get our answers, but so was Arnold.

The hidden city of the Green Eyes was absolutely spectacular. The animation and the amount of detail put into this habitat was an eye saw which dropped jaws. We soon learn of the heartbreak that happened to this society: the adults were all asleep…for the past nine years! While nine years of sleep sounds like a luxury to most of us, joking aside, for these kids they have been functioning on their own for all that time. We start to learn about the final moments recorded of Arnold’s parents: the murals. WOW, was this hard-hitting. It’s the first sign of his parents that this poor kid has had in years, and you can tell just how desperate he is for answers.

The final pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall in place. It was just down to Arnold to do that final act. The problem being, it’s still a puzzle. And Arnold has no idea what to do. Before he can even start to figure it out…yep, what we were all waiting for: Lasombra.

Now, how many of you expected a young chief to throw a blade at Lasombra…A BLADE. I mean how badass was that? Followed by our trio and gang of Green Eyes kicking the wind out of this guy, unfortunately he was armed with a sword, and no one wants to go up against that unarmed. So, we all know what’s going to happen now. Lasombra is going to take what he came for with Arnold in tow.

Dragging an unwilling Arnold by his side, Lasombra reaches the (classic) rickety old wooden footbridge with the certain death plunge below. As they cross, we see Helga and Gerald appear behind them. Despite Arnold’s warnings and pleads, Helga and Gerald continue without any considering for their own safety. I mean wow, this thing is hanging by a thread, and these two kids are attempting to cross just to save Arnold. Can we get a round of applause for completely bravery and loyalty here? But this is a cartoon, that bridge won’t snap right? RIGHT?

Arnold has a dilemma in front of him. He has to solve this puzzle fast before his friends plummet to their deaths. OK that’s cool…it’s not like I’m already on the edge of my seat or anything. Arnold faces the Corazón with his amulet in tow. Sweat pouring down his head and full of determination to save his friends, we see his green eye tracing the steps needed to unlock the treasure inside. Once unlocked, Arnold is pushed to aside and Lasombra looks directly at the heart of gold in all of its pure beauty. Unfortunately for him…he is not as pure and ends up with a poisonous dart in his forehead.

Screaming in pain and heading for the cliff edge which, he inevitably falls off, (yeah byeeeee). Arnold is finally free to help his friends who are still clinging on for dear life. Our hero slips, falls and only just manages to grab onto the same plank Gerald and Helga are clinging onto. Now, top up that glass of wine here guys, because this is where is I almost downed a whole glass. Arnold and Helga meet each others eyes and they just widen. You didn’t need any dialog to know what was going through their heads here. Arnold was finally seeing Helga for her true self, her bravery, her loyalty and that she really does love him. Here they are about to die, and all of this is too late to act upon. They just stare at one another waiting to die, talking only with their eyes. Would somebody please throw them a life line before I jump at my TV?

That life line is finally delivered from the REAL Eduardo, and I can finally breath. There is hope! One thing that grabbed me about what happens next, while Eduardo starts explaining what has happened and how he has been following them. Helga is taken in by the Corazón. Now, I remember back in The Journal, Miles stating to not to look directly into it because they say it’s too sacred. But yet here is our girl Helga…mesmerized and staring directly at it with her hands placed on her heart. No poisonous darts being fired at her. Yes…I was worried for a moment there.

Of course, Lasrombra isn’t dead and climbs his way back up the mountain to finish what he started. With the two fully grown adults getting into a fight over a mustache, pushed and thrown. Helga is the first to run in to assist dragging a bag to place over Lasrombra’s head and using her fist “Old Betsy” to smash him in the face a good few times. This girl is just outstanding and an overall badass. Unfortunately, we see the Corazón fall off the cliff edge to be lost(?). Lasombra finally meets his ends once the poison takes its final effect and he once again falls to his death. “He died like he lived, full of poison.” 10/10 for the sass there Eduardo.

From one heart wrenching scene to another. Now, with Eduardo in tow, he is able to translate the native Green Eye’s language. Once back at the hidden city, Arnold is finally told his parents are there, and that the Green eyes will take them to where they lie. Um, Excuse me? Where they LIE? Could that mean? No…you can’t do this to me…after all these years and the last hour of pure emotional feelings. You’re now going to tell me they are laying there peacefully? I honestly by this point was on invested into the story being told that I hadn’t put two and two together like most of you have already. Instead, I was off my sofa bitterly nose to my TV in suspense to finally find out what happened. As Arnold entered the room, seeing them there pale-faced, sleeping so peacefully hand in hand…I whispered no to myself while a stream of tears started running down my face. I was literally Arnold by this point. After all those years here they are…And here is Arnold seeing them for the first time.

“Are they-?” No, It’s the sleeping sickness. OF COURSE! Wait that means…they are alive? They are alive? I actually laughed as I let out a small laugh in relief. And no, I really didn’t catch on that they had caught the sleeping sickness, not in 15 years. As it was explained that the Corazón was the cure, my heart fell again. But no, it can’t end like this, There HAS to be a way right? Seeing Arnold crying over his parents’ lifeless bodies while Helga and Gerald look on in complete shock was heart breaking. But of course, our girl Helga has a solution.

I honestly didn’t know how Helga would fix this. They knew what they needed and what they had to do. But, they had lost the Corazón. When Helga approached Arnold with a possible solution, I fully expected her to hand him the Corazón. I thought maybe she had taken it while she was staring at it. That was the only thing my mind could muster in those few seconds. I never expected her to open out her hands and present Arnold her golden locket with his picture in. That object that has been a huge symbol of her life for so many years, she is sacrificing so much in that one moment. It’s not only her most precious possession, it’s her true identity. Everything she has kept hidden and inside for so long was out on offer to help Arnold.

This selfless act was causing more and more tears to flow from my eyes. I later thought about this more in depth and theorized the following: Helga mentions her locket is just gold plated and it’s not pure of heart. Now, how would Helga know the Corazón was a pure heart? And anything in its place would need to be pure? Because she stared into the Corazón and felt that pureness. This is why I think she didn’t get a poisonous dart shot at her. Because of that connection with pure hearts, and Helga’s heart is a pure as they get.

Helga doesn’t think highly enough of herself to feel that her locket will work. It takes Arnold to give her that push in confidence and guys, this couldn’t have been more cuter or tear jerking if they tried. “I think your heart is more pure than you know.” He finally understands her.

Pure hearts, loyalty, dedication, love, friendship, determination and Brainy being a saint in retrieving Helga’s locket got us to where we are now. We are about to witness what we have all wanted from Hey Arnold in so many years. Helga’s locket worked, and the cure rains down upon those in deep slumber. Butterflies start to flourish as the cure takes effect. Does that mean? Arnold runs to his parents’ chamber with the most dramatic heart sobbing music in the background. This was it, finally the moment we had all be waiting for, his parents…Arnold parents, of whom have been missing for nine years with no contact. In front of Arnold eyes, they wake from a deep slumber and the first thing they see is their baby. Hey, Arnold. His eyes replicate my own as he runs towards them. He did it, and I couldn’t be more happy even though I was a sobbing mess with no wine left.

The story was concluded. The mystery which lingered for over a decade was now solved. Arnold stood with his parents and celebrated along with the Green Eyes. Miles and Stella’s work was finally complete. It’s a sight we all wished we could see for so long. But our hero wasn’t there? And even after just being reunited with his parents, Arnold noticed Helga sneaking off. Helga was trying to retrieve her locket, which I thought was both a funny and sweet touch. Because after everything, that locket still symbolizes so much to her. After being interrupted by Arnold, Helga still tries to put on her tough girl front and hides her true self still, but Arnold is no longer blind to who Helga really is. With his words, we know that Arnold is seeing through her, seeing the real Helga and finally, after seeing her being so brave, loyal and willing to give up so much for him, he is ready to accept her love.

Even though Arnold didn’t outright say how he feels about Helga, I am a true believer of actions speak louder than words. We have seen how Arnold has acted towards Helga his entire movie. He silenced Helga, she literally had no come or no way out for the first time ever. His act of confirming how he feels about her is sweet beyond words. He takes her hands and offers her a mutual kiss like a true gentleman. The two of them share a moment with their lips locked, and it couldn’t be more beautiful. I was almost angry when Gerald walked interrupted the moment.

The adventure was over. Arnold wakes up in his bed and he is immediately concerned. Oh no you don’t, do not tell me that was all a dream. I am screaming profanity at my TV whilst a near identical scene is played from the beginning of the movie. Was that really all a dream? Please for the love of raspberries no. Please, please no. Arnold’s eyes widen and fill with tears when he thinks that it was indeed just a dream. But they wouldn’t do that to us…and in come Miles and Stella with breakfast for our forever moaning group of boarders. We have never seen Arnold so happy, Wide smiles and dancing on the spot at the sight of his parents back home. I must admit, I really did hold my breath for a second there!

Seeing Miles and Stella home and comforting Arnold is something I never thought I would see. And here it was. It was the sweetest conclusion and satisfying conclusion to the longest story. I would love to see them spend time together, but it’s the worst day of school. Repeating from one of the first scenes of the movie, we see Arnold and Gerald meeting Helga and Phoebe on the corner. But THIS time, things are a little different. There’s no classic bumping into one another. Gerald and Phoebe lead the way hand and hand leaving Arnold and Helga wondering if they should follow suite. While Arnold does attempt this making Helga (and all of us watching) swoon. Helga still ups her defenses and grabs her hand back. I can understand why people would questions her actions here, but I’m kind of happy they left that part of Helga in. This is still her character and she is not going to change overnight. She still keeps her guard up and she has a lot to learn in accepting Arnold’s effect in public. Still, the fact that she smiles as she walks off is a huge development. And don’t worry folks, Arnold isn’t put off by her…he runs after her with that same flirtatious smiley face.

A nice final touch is Arnold’s parents missing him and offering to walk him to school. That final look from Arnold as he enters his school with all his friends and Mr. Simmons declaring he still has a job after the jungle ordeal…that look in his eyes, looking back at his parents looking for him, waiting for him. And that smile knowing that they are never going to leave him again. THAT my friends is how you end a movie.

Conclusion

Nothing is perfect, but the Jungle Movie sure offers some closure. Every time I watch this film, I notice something new. The amount of detail in the background is admirable. They are like paintings. The texture, the colour, the ambience of them is just beautiful. The background animation of characters is incredibly detailed. Instead of just having a still image, I constantly found background characters to be animated and reacting, especially Helga.

The music in this film was gripping, and well suited for the story. A mixture of classic Hey Arnold style Jazz and hip-hop. South American Latin, full orchestral pieces. The emotion was most certainly intensified with the music backing. Hats off to Jim Lang. In cartoon revivals, one thing that is difficult to recreate are those voices. I can honestly say the returning cast and new cast did an absolute fantastic task of both recreating and advancing the characters. It was like watching an old and new show at the same time.

Overall, The Jungle Movie was everything an old school fan like myself could have hoped for. I am not only incredibly satisfied with what we have been given but, I am also thrilled for those who worked on this project for so many years. The creator, Craig Bartlett and his team and the fans who campaigned to make this happen. It’s a fine example of determination, love and appreciation for one another, which isn’t expressed much in today’s world. I am so happy with The Jungle Movie, and I finally have my closure from this epic story.

I can bet, if my Nan were still around today, she would be the one asking me all the questions. And, while I type up my final words, I feel a small part her sitting with me for the first time in many years.

[aion-rsa]

Pixar’s Soul: Who Are All of 22’s Mentors?

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This article contains Soul spoilers. You can find our spoiler-free review here.

22, the incorrigible soul voiced by Tina Fey, has resided in the Great Before for a very, very long time. But just how long is that? Centuries? Millennia? By virtue of her name, a number designated to her soul upon arrival in the Great Before, it is hinted that she’s been watching our world with skepticism since the very beginning: a soul who’s had eons to say, “No, that living thing is not for me.”

In all that time, she’s also had countless mentors: Souls who completed a life on Earth and before going to the Great Beyond agreed to take some time off on the other side to offer 22 pointers on the finer things of life. Until she met a guy named Joe, it never ended well. That said it sets up one of the movie’s best running gags. Throughout Joe and 22’s experiences, the film frequently flashes back to random insert jokes about 22’s past, highly esteemed teachers.

It creates an opportunity for Pixar to dabble in the strangest bit of referential humor we may have ever seen in a kids’ movie. After all, how many young minds are familiar with the works of Carl Jung? It also  gives parents time for a couple of specific laughs, and maybe the chance to talk with their children afterward about just who those floating heads were. For that reason, we’ve compiled this handy list and brief guide to 22’s mentors.

Abraham Lincoln

One of the first dropped names from 22’s past mentors, and the one most often referenced in the film, is Abraham Lincoln. Perhaps this is because unlike George Orwell, most American school children under the age of 10 should be familiar with the 16th President of the United States.

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Elected in 1860 and reelected in 1864, Lincoln is cited by many to be the greatest president in American history due to his ability to lead the nation through its greatest existential crisis, the Civil War. During that cataclysmic moment, he preserved the Union and eventually ended slavery, first in rebelling states via the Emancipation Proclamation and then more completely with the 13th Amendment. He then became a martyr in the eyes of the generations to follow since shortly after his reelection and the end of the war, he was the first president to be assassinated.

Most kids should know that, and they definitely know he’s on the penny. Hence the terrific joke of 22 asking Lincoln, “Are you really okay with being on the penny?” He insists it’s a great honor. But when she twists the knife and says, “Even with Jackson on the 20 [dollar bill]?” he breaks in abject horror. Not Jackson!

Mahatma Gandhi

Another name dropped early—though I’m not sure we ever see him as an actual mentor—is Mahatma Gandhi, the nonviolent civil disobedience Indian leader who helped India achieve its independence from the British Empire.

Born in 1869 Gujarat, India, Gandhi had a profound effect on world history in the 20th century and beyond. After being educated in London and spending his early professional life in South Africa, where he raised a family, he returned to India and led anti-colonialist campaigns against the British government that occupied British India, as well as pushed for reforms that would create a religious plurality. He was briefly President of the Indian National Conference between 1924 and ’25, and eventually took to wearing his now famous loincloths and shawls as an act of solidarity with the working poor of his country. His image as the fasting leader of nonviolent resistance influenced civil rights leaders around the world.

In 1947, Britain resigned itself to granting India independence, but split the British Indian Empire into states, India and Pakistan, the latter becoming a country for India’s Muslim population. The resulting hostilities and tension eventually led to Gandhi being assassinated in 1948.

Mother Teresa

An honest to goodness saint, Mother Teresa was a Roman Catholic leader who dedicated her life to wholeheartedly caring for “the poorest of the poor.” So when she tells 22, “I like everyone except you,” you know 22 just has the devil in her—if such a thing exists in a theoretical construct like the Great Before!

Born Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu in 1910, Teresa grew up in what is modern day North Macedonia, before she left home at age 18 to join the Sisters of Loreto in Ireland. Soon moving to India, where she lived the rest of her life, Teresa took her solemn vows to become a nun in 1937 and in 1950 founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Catholic congregation that’s seen its sisterhood of nuns grow by the thousands. Until Mother Teresa’s death in 1997, she helped oversee her missionary’s fourth vow, again to serve the poorest of the poor, by managing homes of people dying of leprosy, tuberculosis, and HIV/AIDS, as well as managing soup kitchens, dispensaries, and orphanages.

Teresa was canonized as a saint in 2016, with Sept. 5, the anniversary of her death, now being a feast day in the Catholic religion.

Nicolaus Copernicus

One of the older mentors we meet in flashback, Nicolaus Copernicus was a Renaissance Man who really took the concept of being a “renaissance man” to heart. Both a polyglot and polymath, the Prussian thinker was a mathematician, astronomer, physician, classics scholar, translator, governor, diplomat, economist, and a doctorate in canon law with the Church. He spoke either five or six languages, and most importantly, is considered one of the pioneers of the Scientific Revolution in the 16th century. Indeed, this early era of scientific progress is also called the Copernican Revolution.

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That is due to the fact Copernicus published his model of the universe shortly before his death in 1543. With his astronomical findings, he posited that the sun, as opposed to the Earth, is the actual center of the universe. This discovery—which really rediscovered a forgotten breakthrough from antiquity postulated by Greek astronomer Aristarchus of Samos in the second century B.C.E.—led to a better understanding of the universe, and eventually that the sun was merely the center of our solar system. Copernicus shattered the eco-centric view of the universe preached by the Church forever.

So when he tells 22 that she needs to stop thinking “you’re the center of the universe,” it’s pretty damn funny.

Muhammad Ali

The self-described Greatest to ever enter a boxing ring, Muhammad Ali remains arguably the most famous heavyweight champ in boxing history, as well as a significant figure in the anti-Vietnam War and counterculture movements of the 1960s. So when he calls 22 “the greatest… pain in my neck,” she better listen up!

Born Cassius Clay Jr. in 1942, the man who would become Ali first won the heavyweight belt after beating Sonny Liston by TKO in 1963. At age 22, Clay became the youngest fighter to ever take the heavyweight title from a reigning champ, a record he still holds to this day. Shortly after the victory, Clay joined the Nation of Islam and eventually changed his name to Muhammad Ali.

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Despite being the Greatest, Ali lost four years from his peak athletic career when he refused to be drafted into the U.S. military and serve in Vietnam on the grounds of being a conscientious objector. He was found guilty of draft evasion, stripped of his boxing titles, and denied the ability to professionally enter a ring until the U.S. Supreme Court overturned his conviction in 1971. Older but arguably even bolder in rhetoric, Ali suffered some losses in his later career yet still reclaimed the heavyweight title when he knocked out George Foreman in the eighth round of the “Rumble in the Jungle.”

Marie Antoinette

The French Queen does not say anything particularly pun-y to 22, but her floating head is a great visual sight gag to anyone who knows how the French Revolution ended!

Marie Antoinette, a doomed and largely misrepresented monarch, was Queen of France from 1774 to 1792. Prior to that she was born an archduchess of Austria, one of the Emperor’s youngest children. She was married off to the French dauphin Louis in an arranged and loveless marriage at the age of 14 in 1770. Her standing in court improved after she began having children, however she became a popular figure of resentment in anti-monarchist pamphlets, which painted her as a promiscuous harlot whose children were illegitimate, and who conspired with her native Austria against France. It is from this caricature where the lie of Marie Antoinette saying, “Let them eat cake” was born.

Eventually she and King Louis XVI were arrested by leaders of the French Revolution, who eventually abolished the monarchy in 1792. Her husband was executed in front of the mob in January 1793; in October of the same year Marie Antoinette was tried by Revolutionary Tribunal for high treason. Two days later she likewise was executed by guillotine before the cheers of the mob.

Carl Jung

About as cerebral an easter egg as one might expect from a Disney movie, Carl Jung appears briefly in a montage to tell 22 to “stop talking, my unconscious mind hates you!” We’re sure any parents who ever took a Psychology 101 course smiled.

Considered one of the pioneers of modern psychology, Jung was the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. Born in 1875, Jung saw the world change drastically during his lifetime and career from the 19th century until his death in 1961. This includes in the breakthroughs made by him and his onetime mentor, Sigmund Freud. Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, considered Jung his heir until their diverging visions for the future of a “talking cure” created a schism between the men.

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Jung’s analytical psychology was founded largely upon the idea of individuation, which related to the lifelong psychological process the mind is said to go through, separating an individual’s conscious and unconscious elements. This also led Jung to develop concepts like the collective unconscious and extraversion versus introversion. Whichever 22 is, she clearly doesn’t want Jung’s company!

George Orwell

One of the funniest, and honestly most subversive, easter eggs is only quickly alluded to when 22 (inside Joe’s body) drops some George Orwell truth bombs on an impressionable young girl, and Joe’s jazz student. “Like my mentor George Orwell used to say, ‘State sponsored education was like the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket,’” 22 announces. “‘The ruling class’ core curriculum stifles dissent.’”

While the real Orwell didn’t exactly say these words (at least as I can find), he was of course an extremely wary and sharp critic of both governmental and capitalist control. In another Orwell chestnut, he opined the future is “a boot stamping on a human face – forever.” Never the optimist, Orwell wrote perennial high school favorites Animal Farm—a parable about the corruption of the Soviet Union and Bolshevik Revolution with talking animals—and Nineteen Eighty-Four, the ultimate dystopian text about an authoritarian regime controlling every facet of citizens’ lives, with propaganda being administered by the “Ministry of Truth,” as but one example.

Orwell likely was skeptical of state education, and probably would have been even more so of the recent phenomenon of corporate sponsored education, since he wrote, “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” In this vein, he did refer to capitalism’s use as advertising as “the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket” that led to the “blind worship of the money-god.”

That this is quoted in a Disney movie intended to sell toys, theme park attractions, more “swill” to the masses is a little amusing… if disheartening that the quote was reappropriated to overlook the fully anti-capitalist thrust of Orwell’s sentiment.

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[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #162 - The Adventures of Ichabod And Mr. Toad

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) During World War II, Disney produced a number of “package films” of which this was the last. The war took a number of Disney animators and put a strain on the studio, meaning they had a lot of half ideas which weren’t short enough for a short nor long enough for a feature. So Disney decided to group them together. The results included Fun and Fancy Free, Make Mine Music, Saludos Amigos, The Three Caballeros, Melody Time, and this film. It was after this film that Disney would return to full length stories with 1950′s Cinderella.

2) They key to this working as a package film and not some strange double feature is the live action connecting tissue. Scenes in a library with two disembodied narrators (Basil Rathbone for “The Wind and the Willows” and Bing Crosby for “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”) is a simple thing to help the film feel like a total picture.

The Wind in the Willows

3) As with most Disney films, the supporting characters of Mole, Rat, & Badger are well established through initial introduction and design.

4) There is a nice establishment of Toad’s wild character before we even meet him.

Badger: “What good are his promises when these wild manias take him?”

And then “Merrily on Our Way to Nowhere in Particular” is a strong visual introduction to how nonsensical and merry Toad is.

Toad is largely a selfish character bust still likable and charming. As the narrator observes himself at the end of the segment, we all wish we could be a bit more like him. Enjoy life more, have more adventures, and just have a merry good time. Toad is a wonderful introductory character, with moments like the setting in of his mania being wildly enjoying to watch. But there’s always a bit more to him than we expect. A bit more cleverness and later in the film a bit of regret. A fun character who may not be as much of an icon as Mickey Mouse but still a Disney great nonetheless.

5) One of the ways the “Wind in the Willows” adaptation stands out to me among other pieces of anthropomorphic animals interacting with humans is that the animals are their standard size. I’m so used to a Mickey Mouse being the same size as Donald Duck and such but these creatures are all their normal sizes. It was a small thing but it struck me.

6) It was when Mr. Toad defends himself in court that I remembered an old adage I heard from a lawyer: only an idiot defends themselves.

Toad certainly is that. A little too sure of himself, a little too trusting. Having a real lawyer probably would’ve helped his case.

7) The Weasels.

The weasels have become one of Disney’s most prominently reoccuring bad guys, having memorable roles in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” to start. They might be better remembered for Roger Rabbit than they are for this film, but without the weasels being a standout element in this movie they would not have been in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

8)

Narrator: “Yes, once again it was a White Christmas...”

So Rat and Mole must be visiting Scrooge to ask for some charity at this time.

9) Ah, that 2017 feel.

(GIFs originally posted by @fantasia1940)

10)

Rat [after Badger tells him he found evidence supporting Toad]: “Then Toad was innocent this whole time?”

Was that ever in question? This is a Disney movie. Unless you’re Robin Hood, the title character is not going to be stealing a car.

11) I like how Disney could be a bit more “edgy” back in their early years.

Mole [upon seeing the weasels]: “Oh look, they’re all asleep.”

Badger: “Aye lads, they’re DRUNK!”

12) The chase for the deed to Toad Hall through Toad Hall is a fun bit of animation and includes some great classic gags to it.

(I don’t think the quality of this video is great but it gets across the cartoony slapstick fun I’m talking about.)

13) I find it a tad dissatisfying that Toad ends basically where he started emotionally, but again the narrator observes that we all wish we could be as adventurous as he.

14) This note is less about the film and more about the ride it inspired. “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” is an attraction which first opened in Disneyland in California (it used to have a twin in Orlando but it was replaced with a Winnie the Pooh ride a believe) where you board a motorcar and ride through town hall...before you get hit by a train and go to hell. That’s right: a Disney ride sends you to hell.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

15) The format of the “Sleepy Hollow” segment of the film relies more heavily on Bing Crosby’s narration than “The Wind in the Willows” did on Basil Rathbone’s. In fact, it plays out like Crosby is reading out of a storybook with animation put to it. He even voices all the male characters (since they only speak in song).

16) Ichabod Crane.

I am actually very impressed and very grateful with how close this version of Ichabod Crane is to Irving’s original character. In most adaptations of the story (1999′s Sleepy Hollow, the recently cancelled TV show “Sleepy Hollow”) he is made more heroic. Nothing could really be further from the truth from the original source material. His physical ugliness (not so ugly in animation but it is intended as such from a design standpoint) reflects his internal ugliness in a strange way. Ichabod Crane is a glutton. A man full of greed who bases every decision in life on how it will help him get ahead. Even his wanting to be with Katrina is EXCLUSIVELY based on how rich she is and how a marriage to her would give him stature. There is even a theory out there that says Ichabod is the villain of the peace - as his greed and desire for status reflect many other Disney villains such as Jafar from Aladdin and Ursula from The Little Mermaid - while Brom Bones is meant to be the hero.

17) Brom Bones.

One of the earliest lines about Brom Bones is this:

Narrator: “There was no malice in his mischief.”

If we subscribe to the theory that Brom is the real hero of the peace, you can see how it might work. He is a friendly guy even if he is a bit brutish. And he moves against the greedy Ichabod Crane. However, it’s hard to get past his initial bullying of Crane for just existing in the town or the fact he only moves so hard against Crane just because they’re both interested in Katrina. Either way, he’s a solid addition to the film (and even reportedly inspired some of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast).

18) Bing Crosby’s skills as a vocal musician are well featured in the film, with one of my favorite (and underrated) songs being “Ichabod”. It’s a simple toe tapper elevated by Crosby’s skills and serves to very clearly introduce Crane to the town of Sleepy Hollow.

19) Katrina Van Tassel.

So Katrina is...pretty much a female shaped object. She never speaks or sings or anything. Her purpose in the film is literally to be something Brom and Ichabod fight over, and she is “written” as a vain manipulative creature who delights in men fighting over her. And that’s it. That’s her “character”. Usually I try to look for the good in older Disney animated heroines, but I can’t really with Katrina. Ah well.

20) “The Headless Horseman” is another strong example of not only Crosby’s vocals but also the best song in the entire film I think.

According to IMDb:

The song "Headless Horseman" is considered one of the darkest songs written for a Disney film. It, much like "Worthless" from The Brave Little Toaster (1987) and "Hellfire" from The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), was nearly cut from the film.

I’m not familiar with “Worthless” but I do love some dark Disney songs (with “Hellfire” being one of my all time favorites). The song was originally meant to be sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (“You’re a Mean one, Mr. Grinch”, Fritz in The Enchanted Tiki Room, and the lead singer of the Singing Busts in The Haunted Mansion ride) and you can still hear his version on "Walt Disney Records Archive Collection, Vol. 1". Or it’s on YouTube right here.

21) The build up to the final encounter with Ichabod and the Headless Horseman is great. There is an excellent sense of darkness, dismay, and fear. Strong imagery bleeds through the scene (a cloud blocking out the moon like a hand, all the creatures of the forest seemingly saying Ichabod’s name, the reeds beating out like horse hooves) and creates a wonderfully tense buildup to the climactic finale.

22) The Headless Horseman.

According to IMDb:

The Headless Horseman is often cited as being, along with The Horned King in The Black Cauldron (1985) and Chernabog in Fantasia (1940), as one of the scariest villains in the Disney canon. Disney still receives complaints from parents about the character frightening their children.

You can definitely see how that’s true. The sheer design of the Horseman is brilliant. He is dark, ominous, but towering and powerful. He is someone/something you would not want to run into alone on a dark night. His mad cackle and wild horse - along with the iconic flaming pumpkin - just add to the terrifying design. For a character with such a brief amount of screen time, the Headless Horseman is one of the most iconic characters in Disney’s canon.

23) The final chase with Ichabod and the Horseman is incredible. It is tense, scary, filled with action, but still featuring some of the signature cartoony fun that Disney is known for. This isn’t suddenly an R-rated horror film, it’s a Disney film but what Disney looks like when things start to go haywire! The final image alone is iconic in and of itself.

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad is a fun Disney film. A good way to kill only an hour of your time (seriously, it’s just 68 minutes), it features iconic characters, wonderful visuals, strong humor, and a surprising amount of freights. Particularly good for a Halloween viewing, it’s a wonderful piece of animation all around. Give it a watch if you’re ever looking for some old school animated fun.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #126 - Darby O’Gill & The Little People

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Not perfectly.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) Darby O’Gill is one of the most oft forgotten films in the Disney’s live action canon, which is too bad because it’s pretty entertaining. I was originally going to watch it closer to St. Patrick’s Day but I was in the mood for something lowkey and short and figure this was a good fit.

2) This opening quote is classic Walt Disney:

Disney did not credit the actor playing Brian or any of the leprechauns, as he wanted to create the feeling that they were real leprechauns. He even devoted an episode of his TV show “Disneyland” to playing out a bit where he and “Darby” went to go convince King Brian to be in this film.

3) Katie O’Gill.

The writing for Katie is about what you would expect from a live action movie from 1959, with her main conflict being her unwillingness to get married and how she “needs” to get married. (Ugh) BUT she still is given personality. She loves her family, she is able to hold her own against brutes like Pony, knows what she wants and goes for it. So the writing here still has some merit to it, and Janet Munro does an excellent job portraying Katie. Honestly when you watch Munro’s performance you don’t feel like you’re watching a woman written by men who think women should act a certain way, she becomes a real character. I greatly appreciate that and think the film would be worse off if it didn’t have Munro in the part.

4) Albert Sharpe as Darby O’Gill.

Albert Sharpe MAKES Darby O’Gill and Darby is a fantastic character to watch. He is able to convey Darby’s trickster nature (seen often in his ability to outsmart King Brian), self confidence, mixed in with the loving father and considerate neighbor which makes him so easy to root for. Sharpe IS Darby for all I’m concerned, I don’t think any other actor could have played the part as perfectly.

5) The friendly rivalry between King Brian and Darby is what makes their relationship so interesting AND one of the most compelling parts of the film. They’re obviously trying to undermine each other but the chemistry between actors Sharpe and Jimmy O’Dea (Brian) makes it so they’re never trying to do any real harm to each other. They’re just having a go at the other and it’s nice entertainment.

6) This film takes its place in cinematic history if for no other reason than it features a pre-007 Sean Connery as the romantic male lead.

It was this film which made producer Albert R. Broccoli consider Connery for the part of his most iconic character, and his Irish accent in this film is notably better than how it sounds in The Untouchables. Connery is nice in the role, if his character isn’t necessarily as full fleshed out in the writing as it could be. He has a genuine chemistry with Munro’s Katie and - instead of the brutish characters he would go on to play - is actually kind and gentle for most of the movie. That doesn’t mean he won’t defend himself though, as seen later. It’s a lot of fun seeing a fresh faced Connery in such a role, especially a role so early in his career.

7) Those 50s effects though...

8) Darby in the home of the little people.

A nice bit of fantasy and an entertaining scene as King Brian intends to KEEP Darby in his realm (to save him the heartache of losing his job), as well as a scene which truly fleshes out Darby’s wit. The entire time when he’s playing his fiddle you just KNOW he’s building up to some sort of trick to escape and you’re just waiting to see what it is. It’s a fun scene in the film, although it does raise an interesting question: why are all the leprechauns dudes?

9) The wishing song is pretty fun. It shows both the bromance and rivalry between Darby & Brian in an entertaining fashion.

10) Nothing may so perfectly represent Darby as a character and his relationship with King Brian as this line does:

Darby: “Well in five thousand years have you never met a more knowledgable adversary!”

11) Katie does have some fun bits of dialogue and play with Michael (Conner).

Katie [after Michael says she can call him by his first name, which is Michael]: “And so it is. But until I’ve known you for more than a day, it’s Mr. McBride...Mr. McBride.”

12) Sean Connery sings!

13) This film has some nice classic comedy gags, mainly at the bar. For example: Darby gives Brian a drink at the bar (while he has him captured in a bag) to prove that it’s him. He gives him the drink, it descends into the bag, and pops out totally empty leaving the bar folks STUNNED. It’s a nice little gag.

14) Pony - the film’s closest thing to a villain - want to marry Katie because of the stature it’ll bring him in town. Even by 1959 standards, he is a little to aggressive with her for comfort and I think that’s the point. It’s very strange seeing an early Connery movie where someone ELSE handles women in an uncomfortable way (I’m thinking mostly his 007 flicks here).

15) A good ten minutes of the film is devoted to Brian and Darby setting up Katie and Michael, mostly in the dated idea that she NEEDS a husband before she becomes an “old maid” (and forget that, honestly). But in a scene where the two of them are watching at a distance to see if they kiss, I couldn’t help but think that they’re major shippers of the pair. I like that.

16)

Michael: “I love you Katie!”

YOU JUST MET HER TWO WEEKS AGO!!!

17) The Banshee in this film is actually creepy as hell.

The special effects are creepy but also MAJOR credit to the sound designers for creating its haunting wail. Like seriously, it freaks me out more as an adult than it did as a kid. That’s saying something. The Banshee and her death carriage are what I remember most from this film.

18) The fact that Darby’s third wish is that the Banshee take him and not his daughter Katie is actually really sad. It speaks a lot to his love of his daughter, and we get to see Brian’s friendship with him again. Brian waits in the death carriage with Darby and tricks him into making a fourth wish (that he’d get to see Katie & Michael get married), since it was established earlier in the film that if you make four wishes all your wishes are undone. It is the heart of their relationship: they’ve got each other’s back through tricks and fun.

19) The final fight between Pony and Michael just sort of...happens. We get that Pony tried to run Michael out of town by framing him as a drunk, but Michael just waltzes into the bar after the movie has pretty much ended and fights Pony. I think it would have been better placed earlier in the movie as opposed to the very end, as it is a nice scene to watch it just feels like a weaker ending than the thing with the Banshee.

20) The reprise of “Pretty Irish Girl” is a nice note to end on for the film.

Okay, so Darby O’Gill and the Little People is no Mary Poppins or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea but it still has that classic Disney fun to it. The cast is great even if the writing is a little dated 58 years later, there are some genuine laughs and freights, and it’s just a really sweet film. If you’re a die hard Disney fan definitely suggest it, but if you’re not and you’re looking for something off the beaten path to watch this St. Patrick’s Day put it in anyways.