#20 minutes until 1am end time go

[brotherblaze]

the big freeze — jason todd

summary: Jason appears at your door in the middle of the night. Who are you to turn him away?

cw: implied claustrophobia

wc: 1,5k

note: you ever get stuck in an elevator and realize 'oh this is a closed metal box hanging in the air on the 13th floor' and then it takes the combined efforts of 3 people on different floors to get you out bc the wrong elevator keeps opening?

The TV switches to a commercial break featuring an ad for a late night hotline just as your phone buzzes. You reach for the remote to mute it and bring your phone to your ear. No sane person calls you at this hour. Which only leaves…

“Yes?”

“Can you…” there’s a pause on Jason’s end, and you use the moment to glance at the time. 1:38 AM. Yeah, not a sane time, arguably not a completely sane person, if judging by what his family gets up to back in Gotham. “I’m downstairs.”

“I gave you a keycard and the code for the security system.”

He sighs and the sound rattles in your ear. “I know, I—I’ve been waiting for someone to come by for like 20 minutes.”

“Well, in their defense, it’s way past 1AM.” You slide your feet into your slippers and stand, turning the TV off as you go. “Normal people are usually asleep at these times. On Tuesdays, no less.”

“Yeah? And what’s your excuse?”

“I’m an occasional insomniac.” You press the phone between your shoulder and cheek as you grab the black sweater draped over the back of your couch.

Still, the hallway is cold, all exposed brick and bright overhead lights. The chill bites at your cheeks and invades through the soft wool of your sweater. Jason’s sweater? It’s hard to tell anymore; so many of his things are at your place and so many of your things are at his place. The elevator arrives with a quiet ding. Goosebumps rise on your skin as you step inside, avoiding the large wet patch on the red carpet.

You don’t let the call drop, but neither of you are speaking anymore, either. The numbers on the small screen on the elevator wall count down.

Jason is standing by the large automatic doors at the entrance of the building. He has his leather jacket slung over his arm. You can faintly make out droplets from the rain still clinging to the surface of the leather. There—just as he spots you—a smile blooms on his face, almost boyish, as he cuts across the empty foyer in long, near-silent footsteps. He wraps his arms around your waist, presses his face into the crook of your neck. His hair is damp and you feel the water slide under your collar. The tip of his nose is cold, resting over your pulse. His wet jacket presses against your side, soaking your sweater.

Instead of the chill from the fall rain, there’s a steady warmth simmering beneath Jason’s skin. It spurs from his chest and spreads to his extremities, arms wound tightly around your body, to his fingertips pressing under your sweater and into your skin.

You nearly yelp at how cold his fingers are.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“We gotta take two steps to the left — my left,” you clarify. Jason does not unwind himself from around you, but he does take a step to the side and then another until you can reach the elevator keypad. You tap your keycard against the sensor and hit the button for your floor. The elevator doors drag closed and it begins its ascent.

Jason’s pulse jumps and his grip around you tightens. You don’t say anything, don’t pry him off or tell him to get his shit together—instead, you place a hand on the back of his head, curl the rain-damp strands of hair around your fingers. Jason’s lips part involuntarily in a silent sigh.

“Need a haircut, eh, bub?”

He chuckles, barely audible over the jingle playing from the elevator speakers. “What if I buzz it all off? Military style.”

You make a disgusted sound in the back of your throat.

The elevator slides to a stop, the lock mechanism clicks into place, and the doors open.

“We’re here,” you say, voice soft and light.

Jason takes a long breath in, inhaling your strawberry-scented body lotion. He’s the one that got it for you as one of your many gifts last Christmas (thank you, Babs, for being his sniff-tester) and it makes him giddy to know you still use it. He untangles himself from you, not fully, though, and guides you towards your apartment, an arm around your waist.

He toes off his boots and hangs his jacket in its usual place as you re-arm the security system.

“You should really start arming that thing even if you go down for pizza or something,” he says and bends over to pick up the black ball of fur rubbing against his leg. “Hi, hi, hi, yes, hi to you, too,” he tells your cat, nuzzling his face into her fur. He looks up at you, raises a brow when you open your mouth to say ‘this is Metropolis, nothing bad happens here,’ because you’ve had this exchange twice now. “Just saying, if I was 9 again and I knew someone left their apartment full of stuff you could easily pawn unlocked…”

You sigh. “Okay. I’ll remember to do that.” 

Because for Jason, it isn’t about the things in your apartment, not really.

“Thank you.”

You retreat into your bedroom and Jason carries your cat around like she’s a baby as he laps around your apartment. He stops at the tall windows in the living room and starts pointing out Metropolis landmarks as if said cat hasn’t been living in Metropolis longer than he has.

When you return, a pair of gray sweatpants and one of his shirts in hand, he’s telling your cat about how ‘Aunt Lois deserved that Pulitzer prize so much more than uncle Clark’. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting something…”

“Oh, no, no, just reinstating how Clark got a Pulitzer before Lois even though she’s a much better writer than he is.”

“Right.” You hold out the change of clothes to him. “I got you a new toothbrush; the other one was getting old.”

“Thank you.” Jason accepts the change of clothes and beelines it towards the bathroom to change, your cat still in his arms.

Once he emerges (after quite loudly announcing to your cat how one should brush their teeth), his damp clothes left in the dryer to run first thing in the morning, you’re already nestled between the sheets. There’s an extra pillow and duvet spread out next to you. Jason releases your cat, who skitters to her bed on the windowsill to watch the rain droplets race down the glass, and climbs into bed, pats his pillow until it’s of satisfactory height.

You turn off the bedside lamp on your nightstand, turn on the cat-shaped nightlight and shimmy between the sheets. Then you pause, grab your phone and unlock it.

Jason’s eyes roam your face, the curve of your nose and lips, the heaviness in your tired eyes as you slowly blink at your phone screen. He’s made an effort to commit your features to his memory so he can see your face every time he closes his eyes. So he can keep you with him everywhere. Always. So, once again, he takes his time, going over every one of your features until you lock your phone and place it back on the nightstand.

“I love you,” he says, low and soft, though with all the clarity he can inject into his words.

You stare at him for a moment, then pull your duvet up to your chin, rest your head on your pillow and close your eyes. “I love you, too.”

“Forever.”

“Forever is such a vague concept,” you tell him with a scrunch in your brow. He can barely make it out in the dim red glow of the bedroom but he knows it's there. “Until the end of the universe. And even then you’ll be stuck with me. Like glitter.”

“Yeah? When’s that?”

“We’ll reincarnate an infinite amount of times between now and then,” you say with the certainty of someone who’s gazed far into the future, gazed at the very death of the universe itself. Maybe you have. Maybe you’re a meta—a true meta—unlike him, something that crawled out of his grave in Gotham.

Jason blinks, allows your statement to settle into the marrow of his bones, into his very being. His blood thrums in his veins. He balls his hands into fists to stop them from shaking. “I don’t know; sounds a lot like forever.”

You make a sound at the back of your throat again. It is not a sound of displeasure, nor a sound of agreement, either. “Again; vague. The eventual death of the universe is all but guaranteed; it’ll expand too much and become too cold to inhabit. Probably. There’s like… six different big theories on how the universe will end. Take your pick.”

“But we’ll find each other every time.” It is not a question. Still, you nod.

“Yes. Every lifetime.”

“Promise?”

You open your eyes, take him in—you can barely make out his features in the dark but you can—the mass of dark hair splayed out across his (your) pillow, the curve of his nose and that of his cupid’s bow, the almost milky whiteness of his eyes. This is where your heart has settled. This is home.

“I promise.”

part 2

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[rueclfer]

can't help myself // touya todoroki

a/n: inspired by my real life experience but not nearly as sexy as this <3 touya cig-smoker defender 4L sorrrryyyy

"so this is your so-called 'emergency'?" you shoot an irritated side glance towards touya. "the emergency that made me leave my bed at 1am?"

touya nonchalantly kicked his dangling feet hung over the side of the bed, returning your irritation with a shrug.

"yes? you're not even a little bit impressed?"

you take another peek inside the freshly open pack of cigarettes- marlboro reds. two lines of ten. twenty total. you bring the box up to your nose, taking in the faint scent of tobacco. warm. sweet. piney.

"how'd you get this?" you cock an eyebrow at him.

"just asked a random guy outside of the gas station." he tosses an old lighter up and down into his palm. "people will do anything for 20 bucks ya know."

"hm." you glance back down at the box in your palms. "and you haven't tried one yet?"

"obviously not. wanted to wait for you." he huffs. "for someone who's always saying some shit about 'god i need a cigarette,' you're not as excited as i thought you'd be."

touya gets up and walks towards the open window in which you had just climbed through a few minutes prior, grabbing the box of cigarettes from your hand as he brushes by. he takes a seat at the ledge, motioning you to take the space across from him.

you face touya, one leg extended into his lap and the other bent against your chest as a chin rest.

"i'm not-not excited? maybe just nervous." you mutter.

"good thing we watch a lot of movies then." he shrugs confidently. "m'basically a pro."

he shakes out a single cigarette into his palm before passing it over for you to inspect. it's light. the tobacco is tightly packed into a thin roll. you hold it between your fingers, looking at the way it positions itself as you curl your fingers, extend them, from the back- it was almost like the movies.

"quit eye-fucking it and put it in your mouth." he chuckles at your amazement.

touya flips open the zippo lighter, holding it out towards you.

"what?" you exclaim "i don't wanna go first. you do it." you hold the cigarette back for him to take between his fingers.

"pussy." he mutters under his breath with a faint smile hanging on his lips.

you watch him as he places the filter in between his lips, unhesitantly bringing the lighter up to his face with one hand cupping the flame. the orange and yellow hues illuminated against touya's face- a stark contrast against the azure blue of his eyes.

he sucked the flame in, the cherry glowing red as he deeply pulled. your eyes glued to his own, the way they peered down into the burning red ash, watching it crawl towards him before his eyes flicker up to yours with a quirk of an eyebrow.

he snaps the lighter shut, letting the darkness of the night time shadow his features against the dim moonlight.

touya inhaled as if it's his last breath. the ashes from the end of the cigarette begin to crumble until he finally pulls away. the smoke slowly dribbled out from his mouth before getting wisped away by the cool night breeze and filling your nose with the familiar smell of burnt tobacco.

despite trying to choke it down, he coughs. a lot.

"jesus fucking christ." he chokes out into the collar of his shirt between coughs, gripping your shin for leverage.

"yeah, good thing we watch a lot of movies." you laugh, waving your hand in front of your face, dispelling any lingering smoke. "dumbass."

"fuck off." he hisses.

he comes up from his shirt with teary eyes, red cheeks, and a big grin, holding out the cigarette for you to take.

you accept the offer, lightly tapping away the flaky ash off the side of the house.

with his eyes burning into your own, you hesitantly bring it up to your mouth, taking in the slightest inhale before ripping the cigarette away. you immediately exhale, a faint fog escaping your lips.

"weak." he whines. "that was barely anything."

"i'm scared and i'm not trying to die like you, dipshit." you roll your eyes "i'm just getting a feel for it, that's all."

"give it." he mutters, taking it from between your fingers.

touya scoots his way closer to you, your thigh now on top of his own and your bodies left with only a few inches of space between one another with your back pressed against the windowsill.

touya looms over you, holding the cigarette up to your mouth and cups your chin with his other hand. your eyes widen and cheeks flush at the sudden contact.

"inhale." he orders.

and you do.

you had a hand on his shoulder and the other gripped onto the fabric of his sweatpants.

"look at you." he coos. "good. keep going. keep going." he mutters, clear amusement in his eyes as he watches you crumble in embarrassment under his hands.

touya had a sick pang of enjoyment watching you let him hand feed you a cigarette. the way your eyebrows scrunched together in concentration. the way your lips puckered against his fingers. sharing yet another "first" with him.

if he was bold enough, he would draw your lips to his and transfer the smoke from your lungs into his own- an intimate ritual he swears he'd get to do with you eventually, or at least whenever he could muster up the courage to confess.

you frantically tap on his shoulder to stop once you feel the burn intensifying in the back of your throat.

you didn't know who pulled away first, you or him. you snapped your head back and violently coughed out the clouds of gray smoke into the night sky before crashing your head into his shoulder. you continue your coughing fit, but unable to shake the scratchiness in your throat and bitter residue over you tongue,

"piece of shit." you hack. "no more."

"no more?" he chuckles, running a hand up and down your back as an apologetic offer. "you did so good though."

"fuck you." you rasp out against his neck.

"just sayin." he takes another drag. "and it was hot. straight out of the movies."

you weren't sure if your rising temperature was from your best friend's shameless flirting or from your charred lungs, but your body suddenly took note of your close proximity with touya.

your head hung in the crook of his neck, legs over his own almost in a straddle, his calloused hands running up and down your back.

"i feel lightheaded." you murmur, fiddling with the hem of his shirt as the head rush settles in.

"last one and we'll stop." he taps your shoulder to sit back. he holds out the last bit of the cigarette to you.

"no." you whine, holding your palm up in refusal. "my lungs hurt. you finish it."

"we'll finish it together." he chuckles, holding it back up to your lips. his other hand reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ears, letting it fall to the side of your neck as he pulls you in.

"give me a little puff. be good and give me one more."

-

touya tag: @moonchild701 @kaldurahms-lover @themultifandomgirl @devilslittlehelper @porusuniverse @ratatellie @katbug37

[lilzyex]

Bloodstains of a past life ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚. M.S

(Chapter 1)

In which

Julia went to a bonfire party where she met a sort of strange set of triplets. She never heard their name before. Never even saw their face, but they felt so familiar. Everyone around them knew them well. Even her closest friends which was weird. They never talked about them. But now it seems as if they attended her high school for years.

pilot Chapter2 Chapter3 Chapter4 (tbc)

I was finishing my eyeliner when I got a call from my friend Ava I quickly reached for my phone and picked up the call “hey” I say

“Yo Julia quickly! We already bought the booze and you have 10 minutes to get to the park before we literally go without you.” Ava said in a sarcastic tone

“Alright alright! I’m almost ready I’ll be there in 15.” I say opening my mascara with my teeth holding my phone in one hand “did you guys buy jäger?” I say taking the mascara out of my mouth putting it on my eye lashes

“Yes, don’t worry we thought of you. But you’re paying gas now because we bought the booze” Ava said

“Alright” I chuckle and hang up the phone on the other line I could hear Ava yell “15 MINUTES JULIA! We’re not waiting 50 years for you mate. Some ppl are already texting me if we’re on our way!”

I look at myself in the mirror one last time checking myself out I look at my black shorts with dark nylons and a white crop top. I did a curly hair method on my hair and looked at my gold jewellery

I quickly take my bag and I close my room door.

I rush down the stairs of my house where I meet my mom “be back by 11!!” She says

“Mom” I whine “at least 12? Please Ava can be out until 1am!” I complained reaching for the front door

“I don’t care what Ava can or can do! Be back by 12 jesus”

“Bye love you” I say closing the front door behind me

It was a really sunny day and it was extremely hot outside my eyes squinted at the brightness of the sun

After 10 minutes of walking I see Ava waving at me from the back of Oliver’s car. I wanted to sit at the front but it already was taken by Abigail

I open the door of the car “hey!!” I say sitting down next to Ava

“Hi!!” Ava hugged me and raised the bottle of jäger “My baby!” I giggle as I take the bottle in my hand pretending it’s my baby “ok alcoholic.” Oliver said sarcastically “Oliver you should be the last person to say that” Abigail defended me as Ava and I chuckle in the back seat

“So how long until we get there?” I ask as Oliver started driving

“About 20 minutes” Oliver said “juli you’ve already been there. You’ll see!” Ava said “I literally don’t remember. Why couldn’t we go to the usual place? The forest that isn’t too far away from town like 5-10 minutes?” I ask

“Oh Chris said that cops go there often and he told us it’s better in the other forest more aesthetic also. Oh did you bring your camera!” Ava said

“Yeah I did.” I realise she said the name chris “who’s chris?” I ask confused. Knowing there’s no chris in our school or town as I know of

Ava and Abigail look at me funny. “Julia hello? Chris sturniolo. He literally is in our history class?” Abigail said

“He’s so hot!! Oh and also he’s a triplet! I’ve never met triplets. But they’re all SO hot.” Ava said

“What?” I became even more confused “yeah their names are Matt and Nick. Too bad Nick is gay.” She explained “Wait it’s not even that bad! We can try to set him up with Oliver” Abigail said Oliver immediately rolled his eyes “Abby stop”

“No this is great! Finally a hot gay guy for you!”ava giggled

“How do you even know he’s gay for fucks sake?” Oliver groaned “oh Stella told us, she tried to flirt with him. Didn’t end well” Ava tried to hold in her laugh

I get a weird wave of Deja vu when I heard the name Sturniolo. I knew them from somewhere, but definitely not fucking school.

I look out the window trying to forget the feeling I have in my chest.

17 minutes later we arrive infront of the woods and we call Bryan who invited us in the first place because he wanted to get with Abigail. We all know it even she does, but she’d never get with Bryan he’s not her type at all. And also he’s a fuckboy. But the invites to the coolest high school parties even tho we weren’t really considered popular in our school were worth it.

“Hey Bryan” Abigail said on the other line we heard Bryan’s voice “hey sweetheart, so where are you guys?”

Abigail awkwardly giggles and says “in front of the woods. Where exactly are you guys?”

“I’ll send someone to get you. Are yall next to a fallen tree?” He asks

“Uhh yep” Abigail says

“Alright. Matt! Can you go to the broken tree a few friends of mine are waiting there they don’t know their way here”

I heard on the other line.

Matt.

A few minutes later I see a tall brunette walking towards us. I could barely see his face but some I could sense some fear inside me for my reason at all

“You okay?” Ava asked “uh. Yeah” I say keeping my eyes on the brunette

“Hey” Matt said looking at Ava chris Abigail but when his eyes met mine his eyes went wide.

“Mary?” He said with a concerned look on his face

I scrunch my eye brows “No im.”I pause “im Julia.”

He tried to laugh it off “oh. You just look.” He tried to get any excuse he could out of his mouth, but still completely shocked by her looks “you remind me of an old friend of mine.” He said “anyways let’s go” he made us following deeper into the woods

The walk was akward when Ava whispered into my ear “girl did you see that?? He totally wants you!!”

I shake my head “stop”

Moments later were being greeted by Bryan who is already handing Abigail a drink “thanks, we also brought some booze” she said grabbing Oliver’s backpack taking out a bottle of vodka and jäger

“Oh that’s great!” Bryan said practically eye fucking Abigail

Matt went to sit down next to his two brother who were sat at the fireplace

Suddenly chris and nick looked at me with horror in their eyes

“If we do kill someone tonight we have to keep a really fucking close eye on that girl her name is Julia. But I don’t fucking believe her.” Matt whispered to nick and chris

“Fuck that’s Mary. You turned her into a vampire?! I thought you killed her!” Nick whispered with a pissed off tone

“I didn’t! Okay. She was dead when I left her.” Matt said “what the fuck.” Chris sipped on his drink

An hour later I found myself sitting next to the fire with Abigail sitting across from me was Matt and chris.

Chris was talking to Ava while Oliver went for another drink.

I felt eyes on me again when I looked up from my drink to see Matt staring at me. The eye contact lasted what felt like minutes and none of us broke it.

I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. I swear I met him before. It’s almost like I know everything about him but at the same time nothing. I look at his bright blue eyes, the eyes I remember looking into maybe in a dream.

Maybe im just drunk. I said to myself, and I continued the conversation I had with Ava.

“Guys! Did you guys know that the story of the bitten Mary was in this woods?” Bryan yelled out as he leaned against his best friend Lucas

A few people agreed and yelled out. A few people started scaring each other.

I sat there confusion washing over me, why did he call me Mary?. I knew about the story but I thought it was a made up story to scare people into not going into the woods alone.

“What?” I asked Jake he smirked at me and sat down next to me “dear Julia. The bitten Mary is a TRUE story about a girl who died in this woods. She got attacked by a wolf” he explained as a few people came to sit down to hear the story, Jake put his arm around my shoulders “people say her spirit is angry and is stuck in this exact woods. And if you’re alone she’ll kill you but only young people because she’s mad that she died at a young age.”

“And how can she even kill people she’s a ghost?” Some girl said not believing the story

“She’ll bite you and drink your blood until you die. Don’t believe me? Go deeper into the woods and you’ll see.” He said

“Alright someone give me a shot I wanna see if your bitten Mary isn’t an excuse to flirt with Julia.

She takes a shot and gets up to walk deeper into the woods “good luck!” Jake Bryan yelled

“Should we go scare her?” Jake said chuckling

“Nah fuck that I know she’s already shitting herself walking there” Bryan said chugging his beer after.

2 hours later im wasted, my legs feel weak as i feel a warm sensation in my throat. I can’t help but smile at Ava while she’s talking to me and that buzz in my head I love the most.

“I’m gonna go get another drink” I giggle stumbling towards the tree where the alcohol is on the floor

The rest of the night went pretty well before I realised I was supposed to be home an hour ago I look over at Oliver to see him drunk “fuck! Oliver why are you drinking you’re supposed to drive!” I said seeing Oliver sitting with Nick “it’s okay I can drive you home.” Matt said

I turn around my intention is telling me not to let him drive but we had no other option “thank you” I sigh out of relief “I quickly drag Oliver in my drunk state almost making us both fall I see Ava and Abigail next to the drinks

“Guys we’re going home Matt is driving us since Oliver got fucking drunk” I said “msorry” Oliver chuckled

“I’ll take him” Matt said

The drive home was pretty quick since I almost fell asleep. Finally we got Ava home now it was time to get me and Oliver home. A few minutes later we were in front of my house and when Matt stopped the car I said out of pure frustration “who the fuck are you guys?” Matt turned towards me so he can look me straight in the eyes “were in history class together don’t you remember? You remember right?.” He didn’t take his eyes off of me

It was almost like he wanted to hypnotise me or something “no I don’t. I’ve seen you in my life” Matt look confused “yeah. I’m kind of a quiet type of person. Unlike you.” Matt said turning around quickly

I get out the car slamming the door behind me and slowly getting into my house so nobody wakes up.

Soon I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth and went to bed.

(A/N : did yall see the tvd reference 😜 sorry if there’s any mistakes I didn’t re read this)

[niall-ate-mynamee]

He's Not Heavy, He's Our Brother (part one)

Author's note: hello lovers <3

So, it's been a while, huh? I am so sorry. I have no excuses. I've been hitting writers' block for months now, and have finally overcome it! Because I've felt bad about not posting for a while, I wrote this today! It will have a second part to it, but because I have work in just over an hour, I wanted to post the first half now. I've combined the above two prompts that I received in July, so please let me know what you think! I will be writing the next part when I get home tonight, and will have it up either tomorrow or Sunday! Thank you for being patient with me and sticking by me, I love you guys <3

TRIGGER WARNINGS: bad language, sexual harassment, drug use, drugs, non-consensual touching, non-consensual drugging, attempted non-con/rape.

Characters: Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Original Male/Female Characters

Word count: 1632

Hope you enjoy!! :) please let me know what you think! :)

P.s. the lads are NOT famous in this one :)

21 year old Niall Horan had been working at The NightLife Club for a few months now, along with his best friend Louis Tomlinson, 25. Their other best friends Harry Styles, 20, and Liam Payne, 23, were frequent customers, always coming in on the night's Niall and Louis were working, knowing they'd get at least an hour or so after their shift to have some fun together. Not that they didn't have fun anyway, because Louis was always cracking jokes and the four were found huddled around the bar every second they had spare in between serving drinks.

Niall loved his job, most of the time. Of course, working in a night club in the middle of London wasn't always smooth going. He'd dealt with a lot of drunken men, thrice his age, trying to hit on him or touch him in places nobody besides his future partner should even think about even looking at. Thankfully, his three best friends rarely leave him alone for five minutes, meaning he's always got his boys protecting him.

He had met Louis first, just a few hours after he moved into the flat he was renting, a little over a year ago now. The older lad was his neighbour, he lived in the flat opposite Niall, and the two hit it off instantly. Then, he was introduced to Liam and Harry, who also lived in the flat block, three floors below. The four were instant friends, and they were rarely apart. Niall couldn't believe how lucky he was. When he moved from the small town in Ireland where he was born, to London, he never expected to make friends within twelve hours of his flight landing, but he'd never change anything about his life. Moving to England had been the best thing he ever did, and he adored his best friends, who were more like brothers to him, more than anything in the world (besides his family, of course).

When Louis told him about the server position going at the club he worked in, Niall jumped at the chance for a change in jobs and immediately applied. His managers, Frank and Tucker, seemed to take to him very quickly, and he was basically offered the job on the spot. The lad could've cried in happiness. He had a job he loved, with his best friend, and he had a pretty decent amount of money behind him. He thought his life was amazing and didn't think anything could stop him.

Until it did.

It was approaching 11PM, the time when Niall and Louis' shifts would end, and they planned to stay at the club to have some fun with Harry and Liam, before the place closed at 1AM and they decided to go home, or, well, to one of their flats for some more drinks and movies, as their Friday and Saturday nights tradition, and tonight wouldn't be any different, or so they thought.

Five minutes before he was due to clock off, Niall was approached by his manager, Frank, who was barely taller than Niall. "Could you just go serve that gentleman over there for me before you go, please? He's been giving Anna a hard time." Frank asked him, bent close so Niall could hear him. The Irish lad glanced to where Frank was pointing, and after seeing Anna, his 19 year old co-worker, shaking her head in disgust, he nodded and made his way over. Once he arrived, he put a hand on Anna's shoulder and gently pulled her back with a quiet, 'I've got this,' and was rewarded with a relieved smile from the young woman as she hurried away.

"What can I get for you, mate?" Niall asked as professionally as he could, while wanting to smack this man's smug face. He held eye contact and stood as tall as he could, beginning to get bad vibes from this man.

"Your number." He smirked, and Niall resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "And a look at that ass."

"Sorry, mate, no can do with either of those. It's a drink or the door, your choice." Niall bit back immediately, really not wanting to deal with this…at least he could clock off once he's finished with this man, though. He's definitely needing a few drinks after this customer.

"I'll take a vodka and coke then, handsome." The man eventually replied, still smirking as he leaned forward against the bar, getting even closer to Niall as he did. Niall nodded and, after catching Harry's eyes a few feet away, he smiled and turned away to get the drink, when all of a sudden, he felt a hand slap his backside and he gasped, swinging around in a panic.

Before he could say anything, Harry was there and shoving the man aside. "Don't touch him, you creep!" The younger man exclaimed, which caught the attention of Louis and Frank, who both hurried over.

"What's going on?" Frank asked, at the same time as Louis asked, "Ni, you alright?" Niall just nodded, melting back into Louis' chest as his older friend wrapped his arms around him.

"Chill out, mate," The man was talking, holding his hands up as if surrendering, "I'm sorry, okay? Just a spur of the moment kinda thing, yeah? Won't happen again."

Harry huffed, not liking the man, but not wanting to cause a scene, especially when his best friends work there and wouldn't want him in any trouble. "If I see you so much as even look in his direction again…" He let the threat hang heavy before letting him go, very slightly shoving him.

When the man walked to the other side of the room, Niall let out a breath and slumped. "Thanks, Hazza." He smiled gratefully, which Harry returned with a grin of his own.

"Always got your back, Nialler." Both lads grinned at one another as Frank put a hand on Niall's shoulder and smiled gently at him.

"Go clock out, Niall, you and Louis go enjoy a few songs, drinks are on me tonight." Their manager said, and Louis whooped while Niall gave the older man a quick hug.

"You're the best, Frank, thank you!" He laughed as he pulled away, before turning to Louis, "Race you to the back!" He yelled, quickly running ahead with Louis cackling behind. Frank just shook his head, before continuing with work.

-----

McFly's Obviously was thumping through the speakers as Niall, Louis, Liam and Harry drank, danced, laughed and sung to their heart's content. It's been nearly an hour since the incident at the bar, and it seemed like the lads had put it behind them. Niall didn't see the point in being cautious or nervous now, because in his mind, the guy was gone and he could fully enjoy the night with his brothers. They've all had a fair few drinks now, since Frank had said they were free for them, so they said screw it to their usual limitations and simply drank, Niall had definitely had more than the others, but they wouldn't try and stop his fun now, they could tell he had been shaken up by the incident, so wanting him to have some fun.

That would all be coming to an end soon, though.

When Niall announced he was off to get another drink, the lads nodded and continued jumping around to the music. Niall laughed as he watched Liam's poor attempt at the robot, resulting in him nearly tripping over as his shoes caught a tiny lip in the floor. Heading over the bar, Niall caught sight of Damien, a 31 year old who had started at the club a few weeks ago. "Usual, Niall?" The man smirked, already pouring the drink before Niall could talk. As it happened, the younger man nodded and laughed, taking the drink as it was handed over.

"Thanks, Damien!" He called over his shoulder as he began making his way back to his friends, before bumping into someone. "Shit, sorry, mate!" He apologised, looking up and freezing as he saw the drunk from earlier. "Um, I, uh, sorry…I'll just be…" He was cut off as the guy grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards an empty corridor. "HEY! Let me go!" He cried, using his other hand to try and pry at the tight grip on his bruising wrist.

"Shut up!" The man growled, just as the two ended up in a small room, which Niall recognised as the spare storage room. "First you reject me, then you get your little friend on me, and now you bump into me? I've had it with your type!" He was ranting, slamming the door closed and blocking it with an empty shelving unit. "You pretty kids, thinking you're better than everyone else. I'm sick of it!"

Niall was terrified now, his drunken mind sobering as he finally realised the situation he was now in. "P-please…I'm s-sorry, please don't h-hurt me." He whimpered, trying in vain to get up and away from this creep. It didn't work. Niall watched as the man, who had a clear bottle of something, grabbed his chin and began pouring whatever the drink was down his throat. Niall felt it burn and began choking, trying to spit up whatever it was.

"Swallow it!" The man screamed in his face, making sure the entire bottle was empty before waiting for the effects to start. Once the drug kicked in, a few seconds later, Niall was losing all strength and could no longer think straight, vision blurring and head spinning. He no longer felt in control of his body. "Perfect," The man smirked, "Just how I've wanted you since the second I saw you…I can't wait to finally get a taste of you…"

Niall knew no more.

Author's note: I haven't proof read this, so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know! See you this weekend for part two! <3

[bardofavon]

Can u do 18 about the about the name scène? "I want you to have it" / "give it to me". You had me at the edge of mu seat and I still can't stop thinking about it 😭

weird questions for writers

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

This is another verrrryyyy long response because I'm really taking you through every single change and where all my choices came from, so it's also under the cut!!

Okay so this is actually very funny because it's everyone's favorite part of the chapter, including mine, but it actually wasn't there originally. The scene was supposed to end after the line “I’m just wondering what other monstrous things you’ve merely let people think that you’ve done.” 

So anyway there I am, 1am the night before my self-imposed deadline, and I finish the chapter. And it's...like...shorter than I would like it to be, and I didn't feel GREAT about it but I was really determined to update. And then the next day I copied it from my google docs to the "add a chapter" page on ao3 and I was doing my last read over before I posted it and I got to the part where Kaz gets weird about calling the Darkling "Darkling" in a conversation. And ORIGINALLY that was a seed I was planting to deal with later but I was like, "no, actually, they're going to talk about it now"

so I just took like an extra twenty minutes and banged it out on my keyboard before i went to the party i was supposed to go to meaning i didn't have time to overthink it.

originally, after Kaz says "give it to me," the Darkling tells him his name and Kaz repeats it and then they KISSED but then I was like.....no.....this is too soon (I KNOW IT'S BEEN 20 CHAPTER SINCE THE LAST TIME THEY KISSED BUT IT'S STILL TOO SOON!!!!) but it ALSO felt like the name exchange was still happening a little sooner than I wanted it to in my chronology.

it doesn't happen in canon until Ruin and Rising after a lot of shit happened, and it's not going to take that long here but I did want it to build a bit more.

It was important to Alina, obviously, but it feels like it's somehow more important to Kaz. Kaz is someone who also changed his name, shed his old identity, and knows exactly how much it means to share that with someone else. He's still angry, actually, that the Darkling knows his true name and used it to prove a point during an argument. So part of him wants the Darkling's true name as retribution, he wants to have something of the Darkling if the Darkling has something of his, but he also feels like the exchanging of the name would make them more equal in a way they weren't before.

It also does the double job of continuing to humanize the Darkling which is something he's subconsciously trying to do in his head because throwing his lot in with a tyrannical dictator who wants to destroy half the world is not great to stomach, and he thinks he'll sleep better at night if he can understand the Darkling's actual goals and who he is as a person and work toward something with him.

It would also give him a new bargaining chip, chess piece, puzzle piece, whatever you want to call it. It's information he doesn't have, and once he has it he's going to be better off because it's something he can use. He already knows if the Darkling is soft on him, having his name and using it in a conversation will pull things more toward his favor.

And of course, the part he would never admit to himself, he just wants to know it. He wants to know more about him, he wants to say his name, he wants to be that close to him.

Throughout the whole scene I wanted it to have that level of emotional vulnerability but I also wanted the exchange to kind of feel like a metaphor for kissing, in a way??? Kaz has all of these physical boundaries that can't be crossed, even if crossing them and making that physical connection will make him more powerful. The Darkling has emotional boundaries that can't be crossed, even if crossing them will help get him what he wants (which is Kaz).

In the end, I kind of like that even though they're both trying to work on these things and overcome them even when they get to a part within themselves where they might be able to take steps toward progress, they forget that there's also intrinsic factors keeping them apart too that are almost more monumental than what's going on inside their head, and that's where Sturmhond comes in.

Also, I knew I needed a confrontation between the two factions on the boat to keep the plot moving and this interruption felt like a good segue into that for the next chapter, oops, so sorry gamers.

it's also funny because me going "this could be a little longer, what if they kissed" is exactly how i wrote chapter 25 HAHA.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 3.1 Transcript: The One Thing in the Galaxy God Didn't Have Her Eyes On

[Good Omens GarageBand theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show too many times…

G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every single episode of Good Omens. 

C: For today’s episode, we are discussing Season 1, Episode 3: “Hard Times.” What if we all just died forever and ever? [laughing]

G: God! Literally, what if we just all cancelled all of our appointments, and just wailed at this time for eternity. "Eternity!" as Crowley would say. [C laughs]

C: Indeed! What if we just ran out into the streets and rent our clothes publicly? [G laughs] Like, what if we did whatever besides any of the things? [screams] Oh, okay, well. This was an episode of TV show!

G: Well, context first, I guess. We have to- we have to. So we we record every Sunday.

C: Yeah. Wow, that's so Biblical of us. [G laughs] Sunday morning, so this is our church.

G: [laughs] No, it's Sunday night for me so, this is like, Aziraphale and Crowley drinking at the bookshop levels of divinity for me. We recorded Sunday. And then, immediately after, I watched Episode 3. And I promptly completely lost it. [both laughing]

C: As I hoped you would.

G: No but, the thing is, it was Sunday, and literally like, I finished watching around 1AM. And the entire time I was thinking, "Oh, well, should I rewatch it? Should I rewatch it? [laughs] No, I shan't. Like, that's too- that's too much! I should just calm down and try to sleep. I have classes tomorrow." And then, like, I slept at 3AM. I woke up at 5AM literally shaking. [C laughing] I was shaking. I was like, "Oh my god! Oh my god!" And then, like, at around 9AM, I was like, "I have to do it." And then I just ended up watching it again. [C laughs] And that was the state of being I was in, like, almost- not almost. Every single day, I watched at least the first 30 minutes of this episode [laughs] for the entirety of this week.

C: Yeah. As you should

G: And like, at some point I was like, "I'm just going to watch the Soho scene of Aziraphale saying, 'You go too fast for me Crowley'"-

C: No, don't!

G: On repeat on YouTube over and over again for like, an hour. [laughs] So yeah. It's truly- it's truly been an eventful week for me, but the only event is this.

C: Yeah, yeah. And I guess, I mean, from my POV, it's just, we record episode 2. You're like, "Good show. Don't know how invested I am in them as a romantic couple." [G laughs] And I like, go shaking and trembling through my day like, waiting for you to watch Episode 3, and I don't have to wait very long. About like, five minutes in, you send me, "I get it now. They're gay as hell," and I can breathe easy. Except I'm also not breathing easy because I've watched this episode this week, so instead, I am screaming, shaking, crying, tossing about in my bed at all hours.

G: What is all this? Literally, what's all this? What's all this, then? [both laughing] That's my main question. What the fuck is all this then?

C: They weren't gonna have a Season 2! This was just gonna be- like, they were gonna never kiss, and this is just gonna be here!

G: I doubt it. I doubt it! Like, Neil Gaiman must have been like, "No, we're gonna have a Season 2!"

C: I don't think so. Like, he wrote all of this like, way back when.

G: Oh, yeah, there's a 20-something scriptbook or whatever.

C: There's a script of Episode 1 from 2015, and there's a slightly updated scriptbook that he has sold. [G breathes shakily] I don't think that he was planning to make a Season 2 until after Season 1 was released and it made so much money, so. Well. I still wish he hadn't made a Season 2, even after all this. [G laughs]

G: I have to read the fucking Good Omens-

C: Synopsis.

G: Synopsis. Yeah, okay. So the synopsis for Season 1, Episode 3: "Hard Times" is, "First, a walk through history looking at Aziraphale and Crowley's friendship down through the age. In the present, Anathema unwittingly befriends the Antichrist, and the two celestial friends put their agent to work finding the boy, unaware that it's the same agent."

C: Uh-huh. And then they broke up. But I guess that wouldn't be in the synopsis. [both exhale]

G: Well, let's start. We need not delay it further.

-

C: Mm-hm. So we start back in Eden, 4004 BC. And I guess before, I was saying the Apocalypse was happening in 2019. I can't do math. It's in 2016. That's 4004 BC plus 6000. But yeah. So we return to Aziraphale before(?) he's met Crowley or after, I can't tell. Can you tell?

G: This is after. This is after.

C: Okay, after.

G: Yeah. Because I feel like if it was before, Aziraphale would have mentioned that the Almighty has asked about the sword. But like, that, conversation comes in Mesopotamia, so I'm ssuming this comes in between the first ep meeting and this.

C: That's true. That sounds correct.

G: You know what I mean.

C: Yeah, yeah. I get what you mean. Okay. And the fact that this opens on Aziraphale sort of establishes all the flashbacks as being from Aziraphale's point of view [G exhales], and sort of this whole episode as well, so that's fun.

G: Yes! Yes! We barely see Crowley- well, not barely, but you know what I mean.

C: Episode 1 was like, definitely [both] Crowley point of view because we see her get the baby, and then, like, do all the nun swap shit. So yeah, we're switching it up.

God like, shines her light over him and asks him where the sword is, and he goes, "Uh-huh. Oh yeah. Big, sharp, cutty thing. Uh... I must have put it down here somewhere." [G laughs] And then the light disappears, and then he continues going, like, "Forget my own head next." And then he notices that God has already left, and he goes, "Oh dear!" So the thing is like, he lied to God.

G: He literally straight-up fucking lied.

C: Like, that's what Adam and Eve got kicked out for! [both laughing] Like, he just watched Adam and Eve be so funny, and he decided to be hilarious. It's just so- like, okay, it's not necessarily what Adam and Eve got kicked out for. Like, they probably just got kicked out for eating the apple in the first place. But I guess my interpretation of Genesis 3 has always been like, God asking like, "Where are you?" after like. Admin Eve had hidden themselves was like, a chance at redemption or something.

G: Yeah. I mean, that's also the vibe with Cain and Abel, right? Like, it's like, the real straw on the camel's back with Cain and Abel is God asking Cain, like, "Where's your brother?" and him going, [overlapping] "Am I my brother's keeper?" It's still lying. Like, that is very much like, you can interpret it as the "chance of redemption but you didn't do it, so now you're off to be cursed forever."

C: Yes. Right. So Aziraphale lies to God.

G: Hell yeah!

C: God like, doesn't even stick around after like, his first lie to hear the rest of it.

G: [laughing] She was like, "It's Crover. Aziraphale has already lied."

C: [laughing] She literally was like, "It's Crover." But yeah, okay, so why did he do it? Like, was he so like, just worried in the moment that he was just like, "I'm about to commit the sin of all time, and also the only sin that's happened so far-" though I mean, I guess the demons Fell already. So there was other shit. But like, yeah. why'd he do it?

G: Well, he was feeling silly and goofy.

C: He sure was feeling silly and goofy. Okay, God like, knows he lied, but he doesn't Fall or anything. Like, what- Why did She ask? And why didn't She do anything when he lied?

G: Those are interesting questions. I don't really know how to answer them.

C: Yeah. This was a test of some sort. But like, maybe he passed the test?

G: Yeah. Well, She's ineffable, as we constantly hear.

C: Yeah, but this seems sort of like he passed the test if She didn't do anything about it. Because it's like, "Oh, well, I need an angel stationed on Earth to watch over the humans. Like, I was just like, super mean to them, but like, maybe I want someone who believes in them or like, will protect them over their faith to me in like, moments of need." Like, maybe he passed.

G: Yeah. Maybe he did pass.

C: Yeah. But he doesn't know he passed, which gave him an anxiety disorder for the rest of time which is ruining my favorite character's life [G laughs], so God should have been a better communicator.

G: This is true!

C: Okay, book fact: The way that this appears in the book is that-

G: Wait. I thought you said the flashbacks are not in the book.

C: Yes, the flashbacks are not in the book, but this information is conveyed to us in the book that this exchange happened. And the way that it happens is that Aziraphale was like, across the street from a printing press that did Bibles and shit, and one of these, like, the early practices of this printing press was that they would hang their proofs out to dry, and then passersby could correct typos and things. And Aziraphale went over to their pages of Genesis, and he wrote this out on there. And that conveys a very different vibe than Aziraphale in the show because that means that book Aziraphale was like, "I'm proud of this happening. And I want everyone know. I want these Bibles to be printed to have this scene of an angel lying to God and getting away with it [G laughing] right after Adam and Eve and the serpent all get fucked to hell about it."

G: Hell yeah.

C: Like, [laughing] what did he mean by that? It can't just be like a "nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh, I got out of it, and you didn't get out of it." Like, I mean this feels like he's fully encouraging people who read this to give disobedience a go and see if they get lucky.

G: Maybe after years and years and years, he started to think of it the same way you did. That maybe it was the right thing to do.

C: Yeah. I think that that's true of book. Aziraphale. Especially because the way the writing goes is like, there's no Aziraphale going, "Oh, dear!" or saying like, "Big, sharp, cutty thing." He's a lot more assertive in the book. He just- well, he still is nervous, but he says, "I had it here only a moment ago. I must have put it down somewhere. Forget my own head next," and then the next line in the Bible thing is, "And the Lord did not ask him again." And that's just the end of Genesis 3 in this version of the Bible being printed.

G: I wuv it.

C: So like, there's no like, light leaving. There's no whatever. It's just like, "And the Lord did not ask him again."

G: Hell yeah.

C: Hell fucking yeah. And also, this was the same printing press that tried to print Agnes Nutter's book of prophecies, so like, it's like, the same time period as the witch burning [G laughing] that he was like, "I'm gonna tell everyone that I lied to God."

G: I was imagining, like, 1800s, you know, but this is way funnier!

C: Nope. They were burning witches, and he was telling everyone to go fucking lie to God and that he was proud of it.

G: No!

C: God! Book Aziraphale's so hot. Anyway.

-

G: Yes. Well, we proceed to a thousand years later in Mesopotamia.

C: A thousand whole years later! Have they even seen each other since then? It doesn't seem like it.

G: No! Because the first thing Crowley asks is, "What happened to the flaming sword?"

C: Right, right. So this is them picking up their 1000 years ago conversation.

G: Yeah. So at the beginning of each era, we're going to do like, a looks evaluation. And in general, Aziraphale doesn't really change much, looks-wise.

C: He changes a decent amount. But his hair is always exactly the same.

G: His hair is always exactly the same except for when he gets sideburns later. But like, in general, [laughs] he looks the same, you know? It's Crowley who, like, really transformed every iteration.

C: Yeah, she really walk walk fashion baby-s her way through the millennia.

G: Yeah! I think the song for Crowley is, in fact, "walk, walk, fashion, baby," and the song for Aziraphale is "he's living in a material world, and he is a material girl." This is so fucking true for me.

C: I don't know I've ever heard those songs. I think I only know the lyrics 'cause they're referenced in textposts.

G: You don't know "Material Girl"?

C: No. I know "Immaterial" by SOPHIE. I think that's enough material songs to know. [G laughs]

G: Well, all you have to know about material girl is Aziraphale is one.

C: Got it.

G: Yeah. So we're in Mesopotamia. Crowley shows up, in the most beautiful voice goes, "Hello, Aziraphale." [laughs] I am so enamored by Crowley, and I think it is hugely because this is Aziraphale POV episode, and so we see Crowley from Aziraphale's perspective.

C: And they're just like, way hotter now to you because of Aziraphale thinking they're so hot?

G: Yeah, I think so. [laughs]

C: I think that this is just what Crowley's like 'cause they're my special little princess. But yeah.

G: Crowley asks about the sword and Aziraphale says, "She's never mentioned it again. So..." This sword definitely will be relevant. I am sure of it.

C: Yeah. Maybe it's already been relevant.

G: Has it? Okay. Well, as they talk, it is revealed that this is when Noah's ark happens, so it's The Great Flood and everything. So right now, all the animals and all of Noah's family and blah blah blah are being loaded up to the ark, and in explanation of this, Aziraphale says that "God's a bit tetchy," which I have viciously added to my vocabulary.

C: Tetchy's a great word.

G: Tetchy. Yeah, I love it. And so She's sending a big storm. Crowley's asks if everyone is going to die, and Aziraphale says, "No, just the locals. God's not angry with the other people of the world."

C: "God's not upset with the Chinese." But as you, Grey, said, if God's not upset with the Chinese, why am I suffering so much right now?

G: No, for real. If God isn't upset with the Chinese, Aziraphale and Crowley should have kissed by the end of Season 1 and not in a miserable Season 2.

C: Exactly.

G: Crowley looks around and sees children, and-

C: Specifically, he sees goats and children-

G: [laughing] Oh yeah! Oh my god!

C: - goats and children in the same shot.

G: No, that's funny as hell because the next line is, "Not the kids. You can't kill kids." and it could very well may be the goats.

C: [laughs] Exactly! Okay. So the thing about this scene is, I think, [laughing] the first time I cried while watching this episode, when Crowley says that line. Just, okay. She's been here for 1000 years right? Like, they were here before childbirth.

G: Way before.

C: Yeah, they like, were here before humanity. They were here before Eve. They were here before Eve gave birth and like, before they like, witnessed Adam and Cain in some way which, like, is in a lot of fanfictions. Go check them out. And-

G: Who the hell is Adam and Cain?

C: Sorry, Cain and Abel. [G laughing] I don't give a shit.

G: Okay, okay. Anyway.

C: And like, yeah, okay, he's been here for a thousand years, and in that time, like, he's learned to love children more than any other thing on earth. Because, like, someone asked Neil Gaiman, "What is Crowley's favorite animal?" And he replied, "Kids." And that works so well, 'cause like, children do ask questions all the time and are disobedient and like, irreverent, and like, of course Crowley would like that. And yeah. I don't know. It's so, so good. Also, if you wanted to read a kidfic- a book fic that is a kidfic is "A Glittering Instrument" by malicegeres, and it's about Crowley having a daughter, and everyone should read it.

G: Crowley points out that this is all so horrible, and it feels more hellish than it does heavenly. And Aziraphale's like, "Yeah, but, you know, the Almighty is going to put up a 'rain bow' [both laugh] after all this, so it's not that bad." And the words "rain bow" has been playing in my head constantly since I watched this episode. And he almost says, like, Aziraphale almost says, you know, "God's plans are-" and Crowley goes, "Are you going to say ineffable?" And that stops Aziraphale from saying it. And, you know, it's just Crowley pointing out that like, "Isn't this all so horrible?" and blah blah blah. Anyway, a unicorn runs away [laughs], which I thought was funny. And yeah, it starts raining. RIP.

C: Okay. So I would say that Crowley does point out, but I think Aziraphale knows the whole time like, that it's fucked up.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't think he means a single thing that he's saying out loud. Like, in the scriptbook, they have taken out a line where Aziraphale's like, "Oh, I really shouldn't be telling you this because you're a demon, but-" before he goes into the explanation of the Noah thing, and even before that happens, he's like, wringing his hands and like, pinching his mouth and stuff, and it's like when Crowley arrives, I feel like he's so relieved that he can finally tell someone who he knows will be sympathetic about this.

G: Yeah.

C: 'Cause he can't tell the humans 'cause like, he can't. And he can't talk to Heaven about it because all of them are like, "This is great. What do you mean?" And like, he sees Crowley, and he's like, "I haven't seen this person in a thousand years, but like, he thought that God was punishing the humans too much when She kicked them out of Eden, so like, this is like, maybe the one person I can talk to who will go like, 'No, you're not crazy. This is fucked up.'" And like, Aziraphale won't voice that out loud himself, but he is like, giving Crowley ins to just like, criticize God out loud, so that Aziraphale can just like, have that around. [both] Yeah. And also, I think Aziraphale also says, "Crowley, you can't judge the Almighty" before the "God's plans are ineffable thing," which I guess is gonna be relevant when they break the fuck up. [laughs]

G: Yeah. I mean, a repeating thing that Crowley says in the St. James's Park in the breakup scene is that, like, he says, "We have a lot in common, you and me." And then later, he goes like, you know, "It's our side. We're more similar" and like, etc etc. And this is very much like, "Oh, this is where it starts," you know? Like, they are more similar [laughs] than Aziraphale would care to admit.

-

C: We cut to- I have no idea how to pronounce this. Golgotha? Golgotta?

G: I think it's Golgotta. The thing is, little aside about the name, I was actually surprised that they usde the word Golgotha because in every prayer, every like, gospel, every station of the cross that I've ever been to, attended anything, it's always Calvary. It's never Golgotha. Ad like, I know, the word Golgotha, but like, it is constantly always Calvary. And then like, sometimes there's an aside of "aka Golgotha," you know. So when it showed up, and I was like, "Huh! That's interesting. What are the difference between those two words?" And Golgotha is an Aramaic word, and Calvary is Latin. I don't know what the implications of that are. I really don't. I just like- it caught my attention and I thought it was interesting.

C: Which one came first or whatever?

G: I don't know what language came first but I think I am to assume that the Golgotha is what they called it there, and Calvary is kind of like, the translation to Latin.

C: That makes sense. Interesting. So we're in Golgotha, 33 AD, which means it's been 3037 years since the last scene. [G exhales loudly] That's half the lifespan of the earth. What the hell? Do we think they've seen each other since? Probably. In fact, yes, so.

G: Wh- is that a spoiler? Or like, does it happen later, or- Okay, well, whatever. But I do think that they've seen each other before this. But there's no like, proof in this episode. It's just vibes to me.

C: Yeah, it is just vibes. Right, so their looks. Aziraphale’s wearing like, a turban and white robes, and Crowley has like, black robes on, and sort of like, a looser, like, scarf as like, a hood over her face. And it is confirmed by Neil Gaiman, and also just people studying their clothing styles that, like, Crowley is female-presenting in this scene, and that does make me crazy and insane. So yeah. God. Good for her.

G: Crowley looks so good in this scene. Can I just say that, like, I'm sorry, Jesus. [both laughing] I know you're being crucified right now. But have we considered that Crowley looks so good in this scene?

C: While you were spreading your arms, I was spreading my legs, etc, etc.

G: No, for real. Yeah! [C laughs]

C: But yeah, okay. And also, like, her hair looks really good. Because I feel like in earlier ones, like, I feel like, I've heard people describing her earlier hair looks as like, "hair just got invented." Like, the wig isn't that great.

G: Literally- do you know that post that's like, "After trans people start presenting like, more masculinely or femininely or whatever, like, give them some leeway because they're just figuring this shit out. Like, you didn't have perfect hair in middle school, so fucking let them be. Let them figure it out." That's how I feel about Crowley in the beginning. Like, literally, let her figure it out!

C: Yeah, yeah. But here, her hair is like, beautiful and wavy.

G: It's been figured out.

C: Yeah, it just looks very, very nice. Very groomed.

G: Yeah. It's like, swooped a little bit to his side. Ah! So nice!

C: Yeah, yeah. Hello! Aziraphale's watching the crucifixion, and Crowley comes up to him and asks, like, "Oh, you've come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?" And Aziraphale's like, "What? No. Why?" and Crowley is like, "Well, you- like, Heaven did this." And Aziraphale goes, "I'm not consulted on policy decisions." [laughs] Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Also, like, I don't know. It's nice that Crowley is like- that both of them are hurt a little bit during this conversation. Like, both of them care about Jesus a lot or whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: Aziraphale calls her "Crawly," and she says, "Oh, I've changed it. Crawl just wasn't really doing it for me. It's a bit too squirming at your feet-ish." And she says that her name is now Crowley, and [laughs] I think I started crying again [G laughs] 'cause I love trans people so much. Like, the fact that this is like, her first female-presenting form coinciding with her first name change is really really nice. It's really nice.

G: Yeah! I know, yeah.

C: And- tell me more about your name, babygirl? Like, is it because of like, crows like the animal like? Do you like those? Like, what's up? I would like to hear. Aziraphale proceeds to get to deadname Crowley for like, 500 years after this.

G: [laughs] I know.

C: But you know. We'll get to that. [both laugh] [both] God. They talk a bit about Jesus, and Crowley says that, you know, "He seemed a very bright young man," and she showed him all the kingdom of the world just because his travel opportunities are limited, and she wanted to give him a shot at that. You're Catholic.

G: Hell yeah.

C: Wasn't it the devil or something who did that? Who did that?

G: I think it was the serpent in the garden of something.

C: Oh, okay. So this is just her continuing her role.

G: Yeah, like, Jesus prays for a bunch of days in a garden, and the serpent comes in and is like, "Ooh." I think maybe that was it. I may be completely fucking wrong, but you know.

C: Okay. I thought that the tempting Jesus was like, part of what God wanted. Was it just like, a solo policy decision on Hell's part? I don't know. They have like, a joke thing that I thought it was boring, who give a shit, that was just like, Crowley being like, "What was it he said that got everyone so upset?" "Oh, it was 'be kind to each other.'" "Oh, yeah, that'll do it." Okay, man. Whatever. Who give a shit?

G: [laughs] That's not what Jesus said! But okay.

C: [laughs] That's not what Jesus said. He would not fucking say that.

G: [laughing] I mean, he would probably say that, but that's not the reason why he got crucified. Come on, man!

C: Yeah.

-

G: We go to Rome.

C: Only eight years later!

G: Eight years later, yeah. And [laughs] this is a scene.

C: Okay, yes, but outfit review first, right? Okay, they're both in togas, right? I have two notes about the togas. First, Aziraphale's a crew neck and Crowley's is a v-neck in the draping, so like, eternal slut since like, 25 BC- or, sorry, no, we're already in AD, so-

G: [laughs] The notes are fucking wrong.

C: - eternal slut since 41 AD. Secondly, like, they both have clasps on their togas, and Aziraphale’s is like, an angel wing, and Crowley has, like, a black- or sorry, a silver snake clasp that's also sort of shaped like the letter omega.

G: Hell yeah.

C: So. Something to think about.

G: [laughs] Make of that what you will.

C: Make of that what you will.

G: Yeah. So in here, Aziraphale is at a tavern in a table playing some like, stone game by himself when he overhears Crowley by the bar, ordering "a drink." Any drinkable thing.

C: With the worst hair that he's ever had.

G: Well... Well, "ever had," but I think he gets worse hair later. It well may be.

C: Huh! Interesting. I think I am a big fan of the Rome hair because of how stupid it looks, but one cannot refute that it looks really stupid.

G: I love it.

C: It's just like, David Tennant's regular hair, like, close-cropped, but like, they've just like, glued ringlets, like, around at the bottom. Like, there's not even a blent-

G: You know what I want to say?

C: What?

G: I think the worst hair Crowley's ever had is his hair in 2019.

C: [laughs] For real!

G: So miserable.

C: God. Grow that thing out again or so help me god. He gets even worse hair in Season 2.

G: No! Well, sad! But yeah, Aziraphale is so excited to see him!

C: I know.

G: He is so excited. And, you know, he approaches him and then goes, "Fancy seeing you here! Still a demon?" which is so, like, "Do you come here often?" [C laughing] Okay. He literally- this is flirting. They're flirting. Am I delusional? I don't think I am.

C: Well, first, he deadnames him.

G: Oh, yeah, that's true! [laughing] Peak flirting.

C: Well, at least he self-corrects. Yeah, he goes, "Crawly? Sorry, Crowley. Fancy running into you here."

G: He doesn't bother to do it later.

C: Yeah. He doesn't. What's wrong with him? It's been 8 years, and I understand that time works on a different scale for them, so like, I'll let this one go, but 500 years later? [both laugh] Girl.

G: No, it's funny, because, like, at the beginning of this scene, Crowley seems like, a bit pissed off. Like, he's like, snarky and all that, 'cause, you know, Aziraphale asks, like, "Oh, still a demon?" and he goes, "Oh, what kind of stupid question is that? What else am I going to be? An aardvark?" like, he's very snarky, and it's not delivered in a kind, comedic way. Like, he's like, irritated. Aziraphale, completely unfazed by the snark. And he asks, like, "Oh, are you gonna be in Rome long?" And Crowley goes like, "Oh, I'm just here for a quick temptation." And Aziraphale volunteers the information that he is here to have some oysters in Petronius's new restaurant and that Petronius does remarkable things with them. And Crowley goes, "Oh, I've never had one." And Aziraphale [C screams quietly] goes, "Oh. Well, let me tempt you-" and Crowley, like, does a dramatic turn of the head at him.

C: Yeah. And they look so amused. There's such a fond smile on their face.

G: Yeah! Like, Aziraphale very coyly goes, "Oh, wait! That's your job, isn't it?" And Crowley, like, softens up. And, you know, because he was snarky earlier, but this comment makes him smile a little bit, and they smile. [laughs]

C: They are going to fuck each other so raw and so hard. [G laughs]

G: It is so wild to me that they literally were like, Aziraphale literally was like, "Hey, I want to eat the most notoriously aphrodisiac food there is," and Crowley's like, "Never had it." And Aziraphale's like, "Oh, wait. Let me tempt you." Hello? Hello? Is anyone here? [C laughing] Is anyone here? [C screams] They're literally- it's crazy. As I said earlier, this was the scene where I was like, "I get it." And unbeknownst to me, I will get it further later on. But at this moment, I already did get it.

C: Yup. Yup. You sure did get it so raw and so hard.

G: [laughs] Yeah.

-

C: So we cut to Wessex, 537 AD.

G: Isn't it Wuhssex? I don't know.

C: I have no fucking clue. Sure. It's Wuhssex. Why not? Probably.

G: I'm so sorry, British people. Is this in England? I don't know.

C: I don't- Yeah. King Arthur, right? So yeah. Okay. Aziraphale is slaying. He's in like, this silver armor thing, and he's wearing like, this white cape with like, fur on the shoulders, and like, he looks great. Crowley's outfit later is just like, regular black armor, no embellishments that I could see. Like, this is like, maybe the one century where Aziraphale looks better than Crowley does outfit-wise. 

Yeah, he's here to meet the Black Knight, and like, one of Crowley's like, henchpeople sort of beckons him forward, and then Crowley shows up, and, like, is all dramatically like, "You have sought the Black Knight, foolish one. But you have found... your death." [G laughs] And Aziraphale's immediately like, "Hey, is that you under there?" But, specifically, he goes, "Is that you under there, Crawly?" And Crowley, at this transphobia, takes his entire helmet off and goes, "Crowley!" [laughs] Which is so-

G: He is just like me for real.

C: Yeah, he is just like me for real.

C: One more thing, Heaven refers to Crowley as Crowley in the present day, right? So like, I really wanna like, see the episode where like, Aziraphale finally, is like, "Okay, I've gotten used to the new name," and, like, goes up to Heaven and tries to register Crowley's name change with them [G laughs] without revealing that they're friends. Gabriel's like, "Okay. So like, they're using a fake name, 'cause like, they're on Earth doing trickery." And Aziraphale's like, "No, it's like- they seem like they were like, really into this one, like, for real though." [both laugh] And it's just that back-and-forth for like, an hour.

G: Aziraphale's like, "No no no, it was Crawly that was the ruse [C laughs] and Crowley is the real name." Like, he would do that.

C: Exactly! Exactly! "In his wiles, he had Heaven record the wrong recording so he could hide from us better." Yeah. So, you know, they start talking a bit, and Crowley says that he's here to spread foment, fomenting dissent and discord, whereas- I mean, Aziraphale says, "What is that? Some kind of porridge?" which is pretty funny. I do remember that line pretty well.

G: Aziraphale starts being insanely funny here. [laughs] Like, every every scene after this, he is comedic genius of all time.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale has been- he's a Knight of the Round Table, so he's working with King Arthur to foment peace [G laughs] as he puts it. And Crowley's like, "Okay, so what's happening is that we're both in like, this terrible damp place, and everything we do is just canceling each other out. So like, we should just stay home and tell head office that we did everything they told us to do." Aziraphale's like, "Well, [both] it is a bit damp."

G: And I think about it constantly. The way- I- he is sooo... I wuv him.

C: I understand. And at this suggestion, he's like, "But that would be lying!" Like, he's so so shocked.

G: Bro, you lied so hard and so raw in 4004 BC. [both laughing]

C: You lied to God! Yeah, yeah. But, you know, he has to at least put up the front. Because, like, immediately after "But that would be lying," He goes like, "Oh, but they'd check!" Like, [laughs] he goes straight from "Lying is wrong" to like, "Oh, but we could never get away with it." [laughs]

G: Literally.

C: Which like, so real. But Crowley, seems to imply that Hell is less surveillance-y than Heaven, so like, at least like, she'd be able to get away with it, which I mean, I guess, turns out to be mostly true. Crowley keeps trying, and Aziraphale's like, "Absolutely not. I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing." He stalks off and like, it's just such a- it's such a silly little breakup argument ending. Like, the whole like, "We're not having this conversation." "Right." "Right!" Like, god bless.

G: Yeah. But, also, I mean, this is- like, the more I thought about it, I was like, "That's probably not what happened," but when this first happened, when Aziraphale left, I was like, "Well. He's leaving." Like, Crowley said, "Let's just leave," [laughs] Aziraphale left. So like, he just did the thing! [C laughs] It was like, my first reaction, so I thought it was actually like, a funny bit of like, whether Aziraphale agrees or disagrees, it's the same result. Yeah. Now that I think about it, I'm like, "No, no, no. Like, they're fomenting somewhere else. But they're still fomenting." But at that moment, my kneejerk reaction was that, and I thought that was pretty fucking funny.

C: It is pretty fucking funny. Book fact: The Arrangement starts in 1020, so it takes 500 more years before Aziraphale agrees to this. But, I mean, I guess it also means that they hung out a lot during those 500 years to get that to happen!

-

G: Yeah. 'Cause our next scene is Globe Theatre, London, 1601. Nine years before Caravaggio died. [C laughs] This is a famous theater, right? Like, until now. It's still up?

C: Yeah. I think it's been like, rebuilt and things. Yeah.

G: Yeah, of course. But you know, it's still an establishment.

C: Yeah, it's like, where Shakespeare performed his plays, so.

G: Yeah. There is a performance happening, but there are very very few people in here.

C: Aziraphale is slaying outfit-wise, I must say.

G: Oh, hell yeah.

C: It's like this silvery-

G: This is the one with the collar, right? The frilly collar?

C: Yeah, he has a ruff.

G: Yeah. Love it so much.

C: Whereas Crowley shows up with a fucking goatee. Also, sunglasses. I mean, he also had them in Rome. They were slaying. These ones are also slaying. He looks great. His hair is luscious and beautiful. His like, sleeves are puffy. Love that.

G: There's very few people in the crowd. There's like, maybe, like, three people watching and like, two people selling stuff to the three watchers. Like, it's that kind of crowd. But Crowley shows up, and we learn that they were supposed to meet up here because they expected a lot more people, and they expected to blend into the crowd.

C: I'm curious about the circumstances of their meetup.

G: No, yeah!

C: Because it's like, Aziraphale decided where they were gonna meet. But he also asks Crowley, "Hey, what are you up to?" which implies that Crowley was like, "Let's meet," and Aziraphale proposed the place?

G: Yeah, it's was a bit weird for me. Because when I was rewatching this scene, and I forgot how like, the conversation pans out later in terms of Aziraphale asking Crowley what he's up to, I thought solemnly that Aziraphale asked him to come here. And then in my head, I was like, "But Aziraphale doesn't want to do the thing, and he wasn't the one who suggested it. So did he just ask Crowley to like, watch Hamlet? [laughs] What is this?"

C: Yeah. And yeah, also, 'm also confused because Aziraphale tells Crowley about his Edinburgh assignment, and like, it seems like Aziraphale at least thinks Crowley doesn't know about it. So why would Crowley have asked him here to like, consolidate assignments if he didn't know that they were going to the same place?

G: No, yeah, exactly. So were they just going on a date? What is this?

C: Was this just hanging out? Was this just to hang out? But like, Aziraphale’s like, “Oh, you've gotta be up to something.” I think maybe they're just hanging out.

G: Yeah. Crowley goes, "Oh, the reason why nobody's here is like, because this is one of Shakespeare's gloomy ones, isn't it?" And me and Crystal looked up [both laugh] the timeline of publication of Shakespeare. So this is Hamlet. And before Hamlet, there were only two tragedies published at that point. So it's Julius Caesar and Romeo and Juliet.

C: Uh-huh! It sure fucking was Romeo and Juliet.

G: [laughs] The way this conversation is going, we kind of assumed that Aziraphale has seen all of Shakespeare at this point-

C: Yeah, he's a big fan.

G: - and Crowley has seen at least- at least one tragedy. So 100% chance, pretty much, of Aziraphale having watched Romeo and Juliet and [both] 50% chance-

C: - that Crowley has done it. Yup. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. So, you know, just something to think about. Just something to fucking think about.

G: Is anyone else going insane? Something to think about! Literally, what if the J stands for Juliet? Like, have we considered this?

C: Yeah, no, yeah. Earlier, we were talking about- Yup. Maybe the J stands for Juliet! What if it fucking does?

G: What if it does?

C: God. It's so corny, like, I don't even wanna ascribe myself to having said that. But like, what if does?! [G laughs]

G: What if it literally does?

C: Imagine if the one that he'd watched was Julius Caesar, so the J actually stood for Julius, and he has no clue about Romeo and Juliet.

G: [laughing] And it was Anthony Julius. God. [overlapping] It was literally Anthony Julius Crowley. [both laughing]

C: God! What a loser!

G: Well, anyway. Shakespeare is there and goes up to them and like, Aziraphale's like, "Oh my god! He's coming here." And then asks them to be more engaged in the production. And the Aziraphale was like, "Oh, like, when the ghost of his father came on, and I said, 'He's behind you!'" [both laugh] God, he is so fucking- like, this is so funny to me. 'Cause, well, let's get into it when we get to the other line. But Shakespeare's like, "Yeah, just like that." And then he orders the performance to continue. But the guy who plays Hamlet is like, upset that nobody's here. So he expresses this upsetness, and Aziraphale's like, "Noo! You're good. I love all the... [both] talking!" And Hamlet goes like, "Well, what does your friend think?" [C groans] And Aziraphale very quickly goes, "Oh, he's not my friend. We've never met before. We don't know each other!" And Crowley is like, right beside him, just smiling and being like, "Oh, I think you should get on with the play."

C: Yup. Is it anecdote time?

G: Should we talk about it here? Exactly.

C: Yeah, it's anecdote time.

G: Okay. I mean, this scene, this specific line is presented to us in a comedic way. Like, it's funny. And it is. But the way it continues on in this story, it becomes, you know, evident that it is something that bothers Aziraphale  a lot and etc etc.

C: And it also hurts Crowley.

G: Yeah. So with all that in mind, let's talk about this running theme of Aziraphale denying Crowley and his friendship. [both laughing] Me and Crystal are gonna share personal anecdotes. Should I start?

C: Yeah, do your thing.

G: Okay, well, so my anecdote is that when I was in high school, my girlfriend at the time was very touchy. She was very like, oh, she'd hug everyone, and she'd like, when she's walking down the hall with her friends, she'd cling to their arms and all that. But she was also closeted, and I was, well am, whatever. I was very visibly - and known by everyone as - queer. So like, she would hug everyone anywhere. But me, I only get a public hug when it's time to say goodbye, and we're in the car park lot, and we've made sure that nobody can see us, and we're hidden by all the cars. And even then, you know, it's with much nervousness. And the thing is like, of course she couldn't treat me like a romantic partner in front of everyone due to the closetedness. But also, she couldn't treat me as a friend. She couldn't treat me the way she would treat all her other friends. Because here, even just the friendship, even just the association, even, is already too revealing. It's already like, "This is too much. This is telling the world too much." And Aziraphale denying Crowley the friendship, the term "friends," like, reeks of that feeling. Like, when this happened, like, my mind was immediately transported to that experience.

C: Yeah. Sure was. I guess my anecdote, that one actually came up for me in Episode 1 when Gabriel was talking to Aziraphale, and he's like, "Wow! It's so lucky that you two never ran into each other," and like, that was my first like- God, even having talked to each other is too much, is too revealing for the two of them. And it was exacerbated by this scene. So okay, my anecdote is that after Danica and I broke off our engagement, we went to Claire's and we shoplifted best friends forever necklaces to wear in lieu of an engagement. And one of the necklaces especially- well, there was one that was, you know, the half heart magnet one, and the other one was like, a ring that had, like, "best friends" on it, and so, I mean, we were feeling great. We'd done it. We got out. We were sitting in the car, we had our necklaces on. And then it was time to go home, and I took my necklace off, and I shoved it to the bottom of my backpack. And Danica was like, "Oh, what's up?" And I said, "Well, my parents already think I'm in love with you, so." And she was like, "But it's a best friend's necklace. Like, it explicitly says best friends on both of those things." And I was like, "Yeah. But still." And like, the "but still" is just like- first off, like, I am closeted to my parents, but I also look the way I look.

G: [laughs] Yes. The closet is glass, yeah.

C: So like, they're on the verge of suspicion at all times. They suspected that I was into girls before I was into girls because of the way that I talked about Danica in sixth grade, like, after I'd just met her. They asked me like, a lot of follow up questions that, looking back are like, "Oh, that's what that was about." But luckily, my ignorance protected me during that time. So it's just like, again, it's about the mere act of friendship being too revealing. It's about how like, just saying that- like, showing that I valued her enough to like wear a friendship necklace, like, it was just very clear that for her, like, with me and her, like, it could not be like, a non-romantic gesture. Like, it had to be something that they would question and that I wouldn't be able to explain properly because I can't talk about her like I do my other friends to my parents, unless I like, [laughs] really hastily compare to my sister. So like- yeah. I don't know. It's- yeah. That's more about like, Aziraphale and Heaven. Well, yours is also about Aziraphale and Heaven, but also everyone. So yeah. I don't know. I get it, and it sucks. It's very queer.

G: I think it's important for Neil Gaiman [C laughs] to acknowledge, like, whether in text or in Word of God that Crowley and Aziraphale are queer. Like, it is a queer relationship. Like, they are gay. [C laughs] But even without that acknowledgement, it is undeniable that that is the story here.

C: That's what is happening.

G: It's about a relationship that has to be hidden in this way because of its inherent nature, which is that it is gay. And it's not even just like, it's like, queer in the human sense, like, it's queer in Heaven, in Hell, on Earth, you know? Like, from every single elevation that you look at it from, it is gay. So [C laughs] that's my statement. Yeah.

C: It sure fucking is. Also, you don't have to be a man to be gay, Neil Gaiman. Like, even if they don't identify as men, they can still be gay, Neil Gaiman. You have such a limited view of gender, as the "Rainbow Dress" TikTok person said. [G laughs]

G: No, literally like, I've been saying this, but the statement, like, "Aziraphale and Crowley are gay men" really is very much a case of like, "Aziraphale and Crowley are men." Okay, I'm not completely sure about that. But "Aziraphale and Crowley are gay"? Like, [both] this we cannot possibly not possibly refute. We cannot possibly refute it.

C: It's not possible to refute it! Jesus Christ! There's so much.

G: Anyway. [laughs] Whew! Anyway, so the play keeps on going, and Hamlet goes, "To be, or not to be. That is the question." And Aziraphale [C laughing] pipes up so, so, so joyfully, "To be! I mean, not to be! [C screams] Come on, Hamlet, buck up!"

C: [laughing] "Come on Hamlet, kill yourself!"

G: He literally said, "Kill yourself, Hamlet!" God, he's so funny.

C: I can't believe Crowley invented saying "angel" as an endearment but Aziraphale invented saying KYS. And, also, he directs the first half of "Come on, Hamlet, buck up" to like, Burbage, like, acting on stage, but like, midway through, he turns to look at Crowley, and he's just looking at him, smiling so joyously, and Crowley's like, looking back with like, a small smile on his face.

G: Yeah! And it's so sick and twisted.

C: It's soo sick and twisted! Who let this happen? Who let them have eyes?! Ah! [screams]

G: Good lord. You know, Aziraphale says that the actor is very good, and Crowley, while while Shakespeare is right beside them, Crowley goes, "Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety," which is a line in Antony and Cleopatra-

C: Yup. Said about Cleopatra, though, the pronouns do change, which is interesting.

G: Shakespeare overhears this and write it down. What I find interesting is this is like, the one time that he or both of them really speaks in the way people of that time would speak, and it does make me wonder whether they're like, how are we supposed to interpret this? Have they always spoken this way or is this like, a there's a filter going on? And we're seeing it in this way, but the way they would have said it at the time would be completely different? Like, during this time, did they just speak in like, Shakespeare English? Or did they speak in this way? And, you know.

C: I just thought Crowley was like, doin' a bit of like, improv poetry.

G: [laughs] I see. Well, okay.

C: But it is possible that there's a filter, because, like, people would not understand them. But I also think like, like, Crowley shows up, like, her first words are like, [both] "Well, that went down like a lead balloons" before balloons were invented. So like, I feel like they've always been a little bit out of time, out of touch, etc etc. And I am losing my head when they're not around.

G: This is true. Anyway, as they watch, and Hamlet keeps on being performed, Aziraphale asks what Crowley wants from him. They have some banter on like, Aziraphale always thinking that Crowley's up to something, but eventually Aziraphale says that he has to go to Edinburgh for a blessing. And Cr-ow-ley goes- sorry. [laughs] I'm so sorry [C laughing] to everyone for pronouncing Crowley "Cr-ow-ley."

C: [laughing] The person that sent that ask is just rubbing their hands and adding another tally.

G: Literally. And Crowley goes, "Oh, me, too. I'm going there to tempt someone."

C: This is the first time we hear that Aziraphale has ever had a job. [laughs] Do you know what I mean? Like, in Episode 1, like, we know what Crowley's up to. She's out here taking down phone lines, like, etc etc, like, she's in Rome for a temptation. But like, it's like, what is Aziraphale's job, even? What is "Going to Edinburgh for a blessing"? What is a blessing? What does he even have to do?

G: I mean, he was fomenting peace! [both laugh] So that was a job.

C: You're right. I'm sorry. He was fomenting peace. I should have recalled. But, you know, some things are so difficult to remember even after 500 years!

G: [laughing] This is true.

C: God. I do wanna make it clear that I think both of them are trans. Like, I don't think this is a fail ally moment from Aziraphale when he gets Crowley's name wrong. It's just like, some trans people never change their name, and they're also like, terrible at changing other things.

G: For real. Anyway, Aziraphale acts offended by all this. He's like, "Oh, you cannot possibly be suggesting what I infer... you are implying." [C laughs] Which is truly a way to word it, and truly a way to say in a show such as Good Omens Season 1. [C laughs] Literally, [overlapping] you cannot possibly be suggesting what I infer you are implying, Neil Gaiman.

C: And he, like, lowers his voice and sort of turns away a little in this one.

G: Yeah, yeah. One of them should do the blessing and the tempting, both of them. And we learn that they have done this dozens of times now.

C: So, if 600 years- 581 years, so I think it's about one every six years is what that looks like.

G: What's this? Like, how many did you-

G: I just assumed a hundred because they wouldn't say hundreds until it got to like, at least 200.

G: Yeah, that's true.

C: So dozens seems like, maybe like, a hundred.

G: Crowley is on the side of "Nobody give a shit." [laughs] But Aziraphale says, "If Hell finds out, they won't just be angry, they'll destroy you." [C makes pained sound] Which is fascinating. Because again, anytime from here on onwards, like, the, you know, the last scene when they were in Wessex, Aziraphale's first response is, "Heaven's gonna get me into trouble." But now, it's like, "No, Crowley, you're gonna get into trouble." And we see this consistently throughout a lot of the other scenes. Like, with the holy water shenanigans, this is kind of Aziraphale's main point always. And the thing affecting Aziraphale is pretty much always secondary, and that sure is something! Anyone else here gay as hell no matter what, this we cannot possibly refute? [C laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: So eventually, Aziraphale agrees, and they do a coin toss, and Aziraphale has to go.

C: Do we think that this was a fair coin toss? Because we hear like, a sound when it happens that's either like, a coin toss sound effect or a miracle sound, in which case, that means that Crowley, like, purposefully made Aziraphale lose.

G: I think it's fair. I'd like to think it's fair.

C: You have such faith in love. I don't think it's fair.

G: I literally do. Shakespeare on the side is talking to a vendor and goes, "Ugh. It would take a miracle to get anyone to come see Hamlet." And Aziraphale and Crowley hears this, and Aziraphale, like, glances knowingly and expectantly at Crowley, and Crowley goes, "Agh, fine. Okay. I'll do that one." And yeah. Now, Hamlet is probably the most famous play of all time.

C: Yeah. They're crazy. Yeah. The way that Aziraphale looks at him so hopefully and like-

G: I know!!

C: They're soo. Oh my god, yeah. And like, it's also just about how like, this isn't like, just for Aziraphale. It's about how Crowley like, wants to be a nice person, but needs an excuse to do it, and, like, this is like, a flimsy-ass excuse, but it is at least something that he can hold on to for a reason. And like, I think I read a post about this that was specifically about like, how, Aziraphale saw like, Crowley like, recite poetry- or like, come up with poetry just now, and is like, "Oh, like, this is like, something that they care about. Like, they're a theater person. Like, this is like, something that they'd want to do, and like, they like Shakespeare." And that's- agh. I don't know. That's so nice. I really like their dynamic here, where, like Crowley, is tempting Aziraphale into harmless sin, and Aziraphale is tempting Crowley into like, harmless doing good because it's just what they both want, but they need an excuse to do it. Aghh. Yeah. Also, Crowley does say at the end, "I still prefer the funny ones," which, I mean, okay, like, according to the timeline, I think he's seen Much Ado About Nothing. So yeah. Everyone stream Tennant and Tate Much Ado About Nothing right now. And also, stream Tennant's Hamlet while you're at it.

G: Hell yeah.

C: Hell yeah.

-

C: So we cut to Paris, 1793. It is the Reign of Terror, and Aziraphale is in an outfit.

G: He sure is.

C: You said you had feelings about this outfit. Hit me with the feelings about this outfit.

G: No, I have positive feelings about this outfit.

C: Okay. It's pretty good. He has pink satin shoes on. Good for him. And basically, he's like, manacled and is about to get executed, guillotined, and all that for being so clearly a rich guy. And like, I mean, my whole thoughts about the handcuffs during this scene were like that, like, Tumblr screenshot of a Discord image that's like, someone sending in all caps, "WHAT WOULD YOU USE A GUN FOR OTHER THAN SEX ??????????" And then, like, fifty crying emojis. But like, that's me about the handcuffs here. What would you use handcuffs for other than sex???

G: Literally.

C: What's happening? But yeah. so he meets Jean-Claude, who is his intended executioner. And Aziraphale is like, immediately, like- I don't know how to do it, but he's like, he can't speak French, and he's like, "Blah blah blah, this is a grande... mistake. Uh. Erreur." [G laughs] Adorable. Great.

G: Yeah. He is so important to me.

C: He is pretty important to me also. Like, last episode when you were like, "And they speak every language, right?" And I was like, "Yeah." And then this episode, it's like, "No. Actually, no."

G: No, I think he could, though, right? He should be able to.

C: Yeah. He said he's out of practice at the French. Well, we'll learn more about that. But the executioner, I mean, you know, they just have an exchange where he's like, "Oh, I love executioning so much. I can't wait to execution you." [laughs] I know that the word "executes" a thing. And Aziraphale’s just- I'd say he's tetchy about the situation. [laughs]

G: Pretty tetchy.

C: Jean-Claude is like, inspecting his neck, and, like, Aziraphale pulls away, and he's like, "No! Dreadful mistake discorporating me. Oh, it'll be a complete nightmare."

G: And also, this is the first time we hear the word discorporate, I think.

C: No, we hear about it when we-

G: No, like, in this history.

C: Okay, yes.

G: But yeah, we hear about it in-

G: Was that in the car?

C: Episode 2? Yeah, when he was driving.

G: Last episode, yeah. God. It was just last episode? It feels like a lifetime ago. [C laughs]

C: It was 6000 years ago.

G: I think it's interesting 'cause yeah, like, they set it up here, discorporathing, and then later, they have conversations about "destroying you completely," and like, I feel like this line is here to separate it from that.

C: Yeah.

G: To be like, "No, no, no. Like, that's different. Like, what Crowley is asking for will legitimately kill him." So yeah.

C: It's gonna send his ass to the Empty. Time freezes. Crowley freezes time. Or he just freezes Jean-Claude, but I'd like to believe that he freezes time. And shows up. And like- [G laughs] Okay, so firstly, Aziraphale is like, "Oh, like, you're all animals." And like, he hears behind him, "Animals don't kill each other with clever machines, angel. Only humans do that." And his face lights up, like, so much! Like, so much. And he goes like, "Crowley." And then he like, turns around, and it's like, what- what's happening here? What is going on? Can anyone hear me?! [G laughs] So Crowley is sprawled on the ground in a pose that I know she was practicing in the mirror for 15 minutes. Like, she wanted to be here earlier, but she was like, "No, okay, so and then I'll say- and then, like, he'll turn around, right? And I'll be like, on the ground, like, sort of like, leaning back with like, my knee propped, and like, blah blah blah blah," like, god bless. Also, her hair is very silly, and I'm a fan.

G: Aziraphale turns around, and upon seeing Crowley and Crowley's outfit, goes, "Oh, good lord!" Like, in a like, "eugh" way.

C: That is not my interpretation, but you are free to do that.

G: Okay, what was your interpretation?

C: He's so horny that he can barely walk?

G: No he wasn't! He was like, "God! You're ugly as hell no matter what, Crowley." [C laughing] Well, that's what I took from it, and it reminds me of that one Gianmarco Soresi bit where he says, like, "If you're a guy and you want someone to accurately, like, honestly tell you how you look, you should ask a gay man, because they have two traits that you need for an accurate judgment, which is that 1) they're attracted to men, and 2) like, they have the absolute lack of empathy that only a man can possess." [both laughing] And that was my immediate thought when this scene happened. Literally Aziraphale going, "Oh, good lord!" was so fucking funny.

C: Okay. I personally saw that, and like, him like, giving Crowley like, a once-over, and then like, turning away as like, a "Oh, you look positively indecent" sort of thing-

G: No!

C: - in that he is so horny he can barely walk, which I think is like, the fandom interpretation. But honestly, yours might be more fun. Especially 'cause Crowley is dressed as like, a French peasant, but a stylish one in order to like, blend in. You know, Crowley asked what Aziraphale's doing here, and he goes. "I thought you were opening a bookshop." Which also makes me emo because it means they're like, in contact, like often! [G screams] 'Cause Aziraphale doesn't start building the bookshop until the 1790s, so like, they've been talking like, regularly. Like, they ask each other about their weeks maybe. You know what I mean? Agh!

G: [shakily] Yeah! [laughs]

C: And then Aziraphale says that he got peckish because you can't get decent crepes anywhere but Paris. We don't know how he got here. Yeah. So Aziraphale either took a boat over, which I don't know how long that would take, or he mirrored himself here, which I think the second one is a lot funnier, but like, honestly, both of them are funny.

G: No, I think it is the second one because, quote-unquote, he got "peckish." Like, that's not like, that's an instant, quick feeling, you know? Are we supposed to think that he spent- what? Week-

C: The English Channel doesn't look that thick on the map. [G laughs] But it would probably be a while, yeah.

G: Yeah. He has to go to the port? Like, are you fucking kidding me?

C: Yeah. He does not have the patience. Well, that's incredibly funny of him. Also, I love that he said that he got peckish because, like, they don't feel hunger, I'm assuming. Like, he can't actually feel peckish. Like, this isn't something that he needs. He just wants it. Which is a fun distinction with the two of them. 

And, you know, Crowley goes, "You came over here dressed like that?" And Aziraphale goes, “I have standards.” God bless. We learn that Aziraphale says that he didn't miracle himself out of this because he was reprimanded last month for performing too many frivolous miracles. I mean, I don't know if it's bad writing, or like, he's just like, lying. [G laughs] 'Cause like, he miracled himself over here, and later, he miracles himself an outfit- or he doesn't miracle himself an outfit. He miracles instead of just like, swapping clothes with someone. That's frivolous. So that's that's what he says. Okay. I think that it is just like, a writing inconsistency. But the idea that is just fucking lying so that Crowley can rescue him is pretty fun.

G: Yeah. Based on the deleted scene that [laughs] we will discuss here like it i an actual scene, I think it is true that he got reprimanded.

C: Yeah, yeah. Good point. Well, sorry, Aziraphale. And Crowley says that they're here because Hell sent him accommodation for outstanding job performance. And Aziraphale, like, very offended, is like, "So all this is your demonic work?" But no, the humans thought it up themselves. Yeah, Aziraphale says that, like, you know, "Maybe I should say thank you." And Crowley, like, gets up, very intense. "Don't say that. If my people hear I rescued an angel, I'll be the one in trouble, and my lot do not send rude notes." So I guess this is supposed to be like, our "maybe the wall slam wasn't so unprecedented" moment, but I still think the wall slam is stupid as all hell, and that she would not fucking. But yeah. This is like, something that they're quite intense about, like, yeah. Can't say thank you 'cause it makes it real, etc, etc. [G exhales shakily] Yeah. Yeah. Ya. [G laughs]

G: Ya.

C: Right, you know, also, Crowley's undone the handcuffs and Aziraphale's sort of like, rubbing his wrists. Why would you use handcuffs for anything but sex??? [G laughs] Anyway, I do say that I found the "my lot do not send rude notes" line sort of annoying just from a book reader perspective because they do have the exchange where Crowley is talking about how Hell's going to punish him for losing the Antichrist, and she goes, "You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you down there," and Aziraphale goes, "I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to one up there." Like, there's a lot more Heaven and Hell equality in like, how bad they are and how aware both characters are of that in the book. So it does annoy me for this to be portrayed as like, "Hell will punish Crowley worse than Heaven will punish Aziraphale" because they're taking an equal risk.

Because Aziraphale can't say thank you, he decides that they should get lunch together. And this is something that they mentioned in Episode 1 as something that Crowley has to pay him back for.

G: The thing is, in Episode 1, I said like, "Oh, it's just work for them, and that's why they don't even remember it, like, who was who's side or whatever." But like, actually, it was not work. [laughs] It was Crowley saving Aziraphale's ass. I don't know. Like, this, for me, changes the like, "them forgetting" part of it from like, "Oh, they've forgotten it because it's just work, and it doesn't matter" to like, "They are forgetting it because this exact scenario has happened countlessly many times already" that it's common now. And like, I find it so endearing that Aziraphale doesn't remember that but remembers that they had crepes.

C: Hm. I think my interpretation of that would be more like, "Here are the parts of our relationship that are safe to talk about, and here are the parts that aren't." Like, I don't actually think that either of them forgot. I think that when they say Paris, 1793, they know all of it.

G: They both know what they're talking about.

C: Yeah. But they will just mention the crepes, because that was like, the safe part of it.

G: Aww. Awww. Okay. Yeah.

C: And then Aziraphale fucking kills a guy.

G: [laughs] Literally. He kills a guy.

C: He fucking kills a guy! Oh, later at the bandstand, "Oh, I can't kill anything! I'm nice!" You killed Jean-Claude. You murded Jean-Claude. You killed him! He does a miracle to swap their clothes, and new guillotine people come in. They see Jean-Claude in Aziraphale’s fancy aristocrat clothes, and they take him off to the fucking guillotine.

G: Exactly. Like, this reminds me of that one famous like, Trixie and Katya clip that I think I've sent you where like, Katya asks Trixie, "What's the straightest thing you've done?" And Trixie like, sits down and thinks about it and goes, "I killed a guy." [C laughs] Like, literally, this is the straightest thing Aziraphale has done. He killed a guy.

C: Yeah, he sure did. But like, they don't treat it like it is a thing, so I guess it just isn't. We shouldn't treat it as a thing. But, like, come on. He killed a guy. He 100% killed that guy. And like, after Aziraphale kills that guy, Crowley is like, "Well, dressed like that, he was asking for it." Like, she's like, "You just killed a guy, and I'm backing you up because he wanted to hurt you." [G laughs]

G: I mean, also, I want to point out that like, last episode, you were talking about how Aziraphale was just making his acts of service boyfriend acts of service him. And at the time, I was like, "Okay." But like, I get it. I fully get it now. He literally is asking his acts of service boyfriend to acts of service him.

C: Yup. He sure fucking is.

-

G: Well, before we get to the actual next scene in the episode, we shall talk about the deleted scene-

C: Seven years later-

G: From the scriptbook. Yes. So it's seven years later, and we are at a bookshop.

C: We will reblog this onto our Tumblr because it's okay in a special edition of the scriptbook that isn't available online.

G: Why? Ohh.

C: Someone scanned it and put it online.

G: We are at the first few days of construction, or maybe like, the last few days of construction of Aziraphale’s bookshop, and like, he's getting the sign done, he's putting books on the shelf, all that, when Gabriel and Sandalphon shows up. And they're all like, "Aziraphale, we have some excellent news. You're being assigned back to Heaven!"

C: Specifically, "You're being promoted back upstairs," which, you know, tells us that his current job [both] is a demotion. Maybe as punishment for the Garden of Eden.

G: They're expecting Aziraphale to be very happy about this, but all he says is, "But I'm opening the bookshop on Friday!" Truly a moment. But yeah. It's a whole thing. They give him a medal. And Aziraphale  just straight up goes, like, "I don't want it." And as this is happening, he looks over Gabriel's shoulder and he sees, quote, "the worst possible thing that he could see." And it's Crowley, and he is holding a package and waving "cheerily." And upon seeing this, Aziraphale goes, in a way, I think, to warn Crowley, that like, "This is Gabriel and Sandalphon. Like, don't do anything." He goes, "But only I can thwart the wiles of the demon Crowley!" And, like, Crowley in the back, his face falls, and then he points at the package and mouths, "Chocolates!" [C screams] He bought chocolates. He bought chocolates for Aziraphale.

C: I just- this a housewarming gift for the bookshop, I'm assuming, but it's also like, this isn't for Friday, the day that it opens to the public. It's like, for like, I'm assuming that this is like, Thursday or Wednesday or something. This is like, "We've talked about this privately and like, let's hang out. I'm very happy for you, blah blah blah." God! He literally brought chocolates!

G: Gabriel says, "Oh, we're sending Michael down here, so you don't have to worry." And like, in the back, Crowley is going, "Michael? Michael's a wanker!" which I love. And Aziraphale tells Gabriel that Crowley is cunning and brilliant, and has been here for as long as Aziraphale has been also. And Gabriel's like, "What? Do you like him or something?" [C screams] And Aziraphale says, "No, no, no. I loathe him. But I respect a worthy opponent, [C laughs] which he isn't, and I don't respect him. Or like him."

C: "Because I cannot respect a demon and I cannot-" like, I'm not allowed to. [groans]

G: Yeah. And Gabriel's like, "Okay." And then goes, like, "We're gonna go to Heaven, but before that, we're going to the tailor shop. So, bye." So they go to the shop, and as Gabriel is putting on the outfit or whatever he hears Crowley talking to a "creature from Hell." [C laughs] And, you know, the conversation is like, "Ah, my evil plans, thwarted again. Has Heaven sent a champion here on Earth who thwarts... thwartingly?" [C laughs] I love it. And then we see that Crowley actually just set up a bunch of mannequins, and like, put hoods over them and is doing some voice modulation shit [C screams] to pretend that they're like, other creatures.

C: I need her.

G: First of all, transgender. Second of all, I would have loved to see this scene!

C: I know!

G: So fun. And there's a line there that you pointed out, which is that, he is acting accordingly to the acting style of the time. Yeah.

C: Which is so cute, I think. Like, he and Aziraphale go to shows together, and sometimes, like, she goes to shows alone because, like, she likes the arts, and like, she's acting in the style of the time!

G: Yeah. Anyway, the creature is like, "Oh, Master Crowley, I've heard that your nemesis Aziraphale is being sent back to Heaven!" And Crowley's like, "Oh my god! That's amazing! I was going to drink holy water [C laughs] because the angel always thwarts me so hard and so raw, [C laughing] but like, now I won't!" And he goes like, "Only he knows my wiles well enough to thwart them." And so we go back to the shop, and Gabriel is now telling  Aziraphale that, "Oh, no, no, no. You're staying, actually. Keep the medal." And before Aziraphale can even say anything, Gabriel and Sandalphon have left.

C: Yup. And Aziraphale never knows why they left.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, just the fact that Crowley is able to express like, "Oh, I don't want Michael here, like, she sucks," but like can't or won't tell Aziraphale "I want you to stay bad enough that I did this very silly thing." Yeah. Whew.

G: Whew. Yeah. We're not even to the big parts yet. [both laugh] Well, we're about to be.

-

G: Our next scene is at St. James's Park, as in the part that they frequent in Episode 1, and it's 1862. And Crowley pretty much looks the same. [laughs] Like, there are some choice differences in his look right now, and his look in 1941. Was it 1941? onwards. But like, this is the look. Like, he's found it, you know? And I am so sorry everyone and God, but I have actually watched this spoiler, which is- it came across my YouTube recommendations, and it was a- what's it? A behind the scenes alternative take on a scene of Aziraphale dancing. The description said that it was from 1880. So in that video, his outfit is exactly the same as it is in '41 and now. So like, between 1862 and 1880, he found his style, and he just didn't let it go, ever.

C: This scene is the first instance of his waistcoat, which is his favorite thing ever. 'Cause it's like, kind of ratty, but he has it, and he'll always have it. I love him.

G: Yeah, I don't know. I really like that he found like, an era, and was like, "I belong here." Do you know what I mean? And he lived there, and even if the era has passed, he's like, "I belong there." And, I don't know. I like that. I like it. I wike it. I like it.

C: And I also like the era that he's chosen is like a period in which he and Crowley didn't talk after this fight. Like, this is like, his self-actualization, like, decades or whatever

G: Did they really not? Like, is that a legitimate- is that an assumption, or-

C: The scriptbook in in the 1941 scene has a stage direction that I will read aloud later.

G: Okay. Well, we're at St. James's Park, as I've said, and-

C: Crowley has terrible, awful sideburns. Sometimes gender euphoria comes out of cost to me. Right now, he's living it up as a guy with the worst sideburns.

G: Anyway, Crowley is depressed. I don't think that's a misinterpretation.

C: I don't- that's not how I interpret it, but I don't think it's a misinterpretation.

G: How would you interpret his actions in his scene?

C: Holy water can kill any demons. It could just be to like, kill other demons that come after him or- What do you mean?

G: Well, he is so sad!

C: He's- I guess so. He is an amount of sad.

G: Okay. Let's get into the scene. So Crowley says, like, "Oh, I'm worried that things will go wrong." And he goes, "If things do go wrong, you and I, we have a lot in common." And, Aziraphale says, like, "Oh, well, we both started out this angels, but, you know, we've since diverged paths due to the you Falling thing."

C: He's like, really judgy and mean when he says it. Like, both of them are like, in moods today.

G: Yeah. They're tetchy. Yeah. Crowley says, like, "I didn't really Fall. I just sauntered vaguely downward." And, you know. Crowley says, "If things go wrong, I want insurance." And then he hands Aziraphale a note. And we don't see the note immediately, but we see that Aziraphale’s face is like, he's upset. And he declares that what Cr-ow-ley- [both laugh] he declares that what Crowley is asking is out of the question. And he says, "It would destroy you. I'm not bringing you a suicide pill." And this is what I mean, like, I think it's curious how this scene, Crowley is so different from how he usually acts. I think that's what I- he's completely different. And he has been like this long enough for Aziraphale to genuinely think that he wants the holy water to kill himself.

C: Yes. Though, I mean, again, this is like, an insurance thing. So even if it was to kill himself, it would be like, you know, like, when you're getting tortured and like, you take like the pill so that the information doesn't get tortured out of you kind of thing. It isn't like, a "he's actually suicidal."

G: Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's actually suicidal, but I think it's curious that he's so so so worried when all the scenes before this has been him being like, "Ah, it doesn't matter. Ah, it's fine."

C: Yeah. I agree that that is so different.

G: Here, it's such a- yeah, it's such a vast difference. And, yes or no. Do we figure out what happens between chocolates scene and this for this to be the case?

C: I think there's stuff in Season 2 that could help you interpret things. Yeah.

G: Ah. Okay. Well, Aziraphale goes, "Do you know what trouble I would be in Heaven if they knew I was... [both] fraternizing?" And like, he says other things too, but what the camera really focuses on is Crowley doing the most dramatic head turn ever seen in the history of the world, and goes, "Fraternizing?" And Aziraphale says, "Well, whatever you wish to call it."

C: Well, I'd say before that, like, when Crowley says like, "That's not what I want it for. I just want it for insurance." Aziraphale goes, “I'm not an idiot. Crowley.” What does that mean? Like, "You are obviously suicidal"? Like, what does that mean? Or is the "I'm not an idiot" regarding the like, "I'd be in big trouble with Heaven" thing, in which case, is he accusing Crowley of deliberately endangering him?

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah?

G: I don't know. No, no, no, not yeah as in "yeah," but like, "yeah" as in I get what you're trying to ask, and I also don't know the answer, but I agree that it's a fascinating question. This is surely a scene

C: What's happening? Yeah. Aziraphale's panicking, I think, and I think the way that he reacts when he's panicking is to just pull out the old "You're an evil demon trying to hurt me" or some shit.

G: Crowley goes, "I have a lot of other people to fraternize with, angel."

C: They're not even fucking. What is this about?

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Can you believe they're having this exchange, and they haven't even fucked once?

G: And Aziraphale goes, "Of course you do." And then he starts walking away, and Crowley goes, “I don't need you!” [C screams] And Aziraphale turns away to say, “And the feeling is mutual! Obviously!” And Crowley just stands there looking at the note that Aziraphale threw into the water burning up and then mockingly goes, “Obviously.” [both laugh] A scene. It is a scene. Also like, this, in my head, for some reason, Crowley has just been in there, saying lies, and the lines that are being said are, "Lord, heal this bike," and "Obviously," and- what's that? The "Eternity!"

C: And the "Shaddup."

G: And the "Shut up!" Literally. He's just in there.

-

C: So we cut to London 1941, and like, this is the scene of all time, but first I do have to be like- Okay, what my thing is, I feel like, okay, there's no historical scenes in the book, right? And I think part of that- I don't know if that's part of that, or just like, why I wouldn't put historical scenes in a book like this- is that I think it begs the question like, if they were here-

G: Why didn't they do anything?

C: - during, yeah, some of the worst things in human history, and they're powerful, like, they have powers, why didn't they do anything? And like, sure, Aziraphale's like, doing something here, but like, the most nothing thing. Okay, like, it's not nothing. If he was a human, this would be a very brave thing for him to do, but like, as someone who cannot die, this is like, kind of nothing at all.

G: I think the reason why that thought- like, it did cross my mind, but it wasn't as egregious as it would be if it was in something else is that they very obviously handicap Aziraphale and Crowley in terms of powers.

C: Right, like, they get reprimanded and things for their miracles. Yeah, I mean, that is something that I've thought about. But also, like- I feel like I'm not like, mad at them. It's more that-

G: It's curious, yeah.

C: Why, you would even write a scene that provokes that question without really bothering to answer said question. Like, write it in a way where it seems like you yourself were not even thinking about the question when I feel like the question is so obviously there. I feel like if this was in the book, if there was just like, a sentence in there that was like, you know, like, "Because of like, limitations and stuff, they could only do what humans could do and what humans could do was like, very little, but also like, a lot sometimes," or just like, something about like, Good Omens general humanism and how like, Aziraphale and Crowley are citizens of Earth, blah blah blah blah blah, it would be fine. But I feel like, here, it's just like, "Okay, but why did they do anything?" But yeah, I mean, whatevs. Like, it's not even something that I think about that much until I'm taking notes because this scene is so fucking romantic that sometimes you forget that there are like, literal Nazis here? And like, maybe that's- yeah. 

Anyway, Aziraphale's here. He has a cute fucking hat on. Good for him. Also- like, the worst thing that could possibly happen to the world - Mark Gatiss is also here. But sometimes we have to live with such things.

G: He sure is. Yeah, you know, I think I know Mark Gatiss from Sherlock only, but I understand that he is relevant in the British media economy.

C: He wrote a lot of episodes of Doctor Who that were bad. And, you know.

G: I mean, I didn't even know that he is involved in making Sherlock for a long time.

C: Oh, you thought he just played Mycroft, and that's it.

G: Yes, yes.

C: No, he fucking co-wrote that thing, and boy, was it not a good show. [G laughs]

G: I don't have no feelings for Sherlock whatsoever. It's just a show that I watched with my sister when I was younger.

C: Good for you. You escaped a lot of- a lot of time spent on Tumblr saying things that made absolutely no sense.

G: Well, I'm making up for it now! [laughs]

C: Yup. So Aziraphale shows up with books, and he greets two people, one of whom is Mark Gaitas with a German accent. And supposedly, he's been obtaining books of prophecy for Hitler.

G: Also, he gets called Mr. Fell, which, I think- is this the first time

C: Well, yeah, I mean, if you look at his bookshop at any point, like, it does say A.Z. Fell.

G: Yeah, but I didn't really do that.

C: But yeah. That is the name he goes by.

G: He is Mr. Fell. Yeah. I was asking Crystal, like, is it "Aziraphale Fell" or is it "Azira Fell," and Crystal was like, "A.Z. Fell," and I was like, "Oh my god! Just like T.S. Elliot for real." And you know what? He may as well be like T.S. Elliot for real.

C: He may as well. They mention Agnes Nutter, 'cause it's the only true prophecy book, but Aziraphale says that, I mean, he just can't get it.

G: Apparently, there's only one copy of it in the world. Like, the Anathema copy, and that's it. 'Cause all the other copies were unsold and therefore burned by the publisher.

C: So, you know, they put the books into a bag, and then, like, one of them, goes like, "Oh, like, thanks a lot. But also, we have to kill you now."

G: Oh, anyway, I want to mention a fun little journey that I went through. At some point, Aziraphale goes, "Oh, but we preserved one prophecy, and it's that in 1979 or whatever, do not buy Betamax." And I was like, "Wait. That's an actual word?" Because in the Philippines, betamax, as we say it, is a street food. It's like, coagulated blood, and then you cut it in squares, and then you grill it. It's pretty good. And I was like, "Wait, what?" And so I Googled it, and apparently Betamax is a brand of cassette tapes, and they're black, and betamax, the food is, you know, it's cut into squares that are dark, so it looks like a cassette tape, so they named it after the cassette tape.

C: That's so fun! That is so fun.

G: Isn't that so cool? I know. I love it. And you know what? Agnes Nutter, I will buy betamax. [C laughs]

C: So, upon the gun being drawn on him, Aziraphale just like, does a little head tilt, and like, a pout-ish thing, and he goes, "Well, that's not very sporting." Which is soo cute.

G: He literally is like, pouting. Yeah, he's so. Agh. Somebody needs to get their dick sucked, and it's not gonna be me. [C laughs]

C: This woman appears behind Aziraphale, holding a gun pointed at the Nazis. And Aziraphale is like, "She is like, Captain Rose Montgomery of British military intelligence, and like, she is here to imprison your entire Nazi spy ring. She recruited me to work for you." Which, see, that also bothers me that like-

G: Yeah. There's no initiative on your part?

C: Aziraphale was, what, just chilling in the book shop until someone came up to them and was like, "Hey, help us." Like, I'm sure he could have been doing other things, and like, maybe it would have been like, trivializing, if like, they like, threw in a random line about how he's like, helping shelter people or whatever. But like, this is like, "Okay, so like, you didn't even take initiative, bro." 

He's like, "Okay, and like, Captain Montgomery, like, all her agents are here, they're surrounding the building. And you two have been- What is that lovely American expression? Played for suckers." But then it's revealed that, in fact, she is also a Nazi, and this was a setup, and she turns the gun on Aziraphale, and he does the most dramatic gay gasp of surprise! And that gif is present in a post that goes, "When you're a miniature poodle and it's time for your nightly anxiety medication and your owner drops an extra pill pocket on the floor." [G laughs] Like, yeah. That's that face.

G: Literally.

C: Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt says in German that it was very easy to fool the shithead bookseller because he's very gullible. Which, no, he's not! Okay, you know, I think I need to stop hoping that, like, Aziraphale will be like book Aziraphale and just think of both of these characters as new characters, but I just do have to say that there is a scene in the book where, like, it says that basically, like, mafia guys and things would come to Aziraphale’s bookshop-

G: Oh yeah. I've seen this too.

C: - and suggest that he'd like to sell the shop. And either they would bribe him.

"Or, sometimes, while they were talking, other men in dark glasses would wander around the shop shaking their heads and saying how inflammable paper was, and what a fire trap he had here. And Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he'd think about it. And then they'd go away. And they'd never come back. Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you have to be a fool." So they slandered my boy. They slandered him. They slandered him to death. God.

G: They did. Yeah. I mean, like, the double-cross, it's unessential. Don't particularly- yeah.

C: Yeah. I don't know what the deal is. This entire-

G: [laughing] Well, I guess if they didn't do the double-cross, Aziraphale really is just helping Hitler. So maybe the double-cross is essential.

C: Well, I'm saying that Captain Rose Montgomery in quotes didn't have to double cross him. I think they're just having.

G: Yeah, but then she would die, and they won't have their romantic moment, because there's another person in there. [both laughing]

C: God. Put her in the Victims of Yaoi Poll. But yeah, this is all played funny. But like, this must hurt. Sorry, Aziraphale. [G laughs] Like, he thought this whole- like, he was probably spending this whole time being like, "I really wish I could do something, but I refuse to take initiative 'cause I'm afraid." And he did a thing, and now this is what the result is. F. He does his whole, like, "You can't kill me. There'll be paperwork!" thing. And then, behind him, he hears sounds of the silliest person in the entire world coming down the aisle towards him coming down the aisle towards him! The aisle of a church! [both laughing] In case we cared about that at all! You know. In case we cared! 'Cause this didn't have to happen in a church! It didn't have to happen in a church. Just gonna say that. So-

G: I mean, it did have to happen in a church, 'cause he needs to see the holy water and the ground thing.

C: Sure. Sure. I guess. I guess.

G: I mean, he didn't have to see the holy water, really. I don't fucking know. None of this ever had to happen. Like, why was this book even written? [both laughing]

C: None of this is even in the book or the Bible. So Crowley's hopping down the aisle towards Aziraphale because this church is consecrated ground. "It's like being at the beach in bare feet!" Aziraphale's quite angry that Crowley's here at first, and Crowley goes like, "I'm stopping you getting into trouble." And then Aziraphale goes, "I should have known. Of course. These people are working for you." Huh? Huh?

G: What do you mean "huh?"?

C: Okay, like, the two interpretations are- I think- The thing is, in Paris, 1793, Aziraphale goes like, "Oh, so all of this is your demonic work. Like, you did the Reign of Terror." And Crowley goes like, "No." So that's why it seems like Aziraphale is saying here that Crowley is working with Nazis? Like, he genuinely thinks that that could be a thing? So okay, that's one interpretation. I think the other one, that like, upon a few rewatches, I would like to believe is what's happening instead is just Aziraphale being like, "Oh, like, this, entire, like, crossing, double-crossing, triple-crossing shit has been like, so theatrical, like, I don't think any of these people are spies or anything. They're just like, actors that you paid to play an extended prank on me." Which, like, I don't know. I don't think- I don't know if that's what he's saying. It's what I would like to believe he's saying because the alternative is quite disturbing to me

So Crowley's like, "What? No, they're just some stupid Nazi spies running around London, blackmailing and murdering people. I just didn't want to see you embarrassed." Which, aww! Like, I know it's also an insult, but like, they have to speak through layers, and it's like, "Aww!" Like, he can't say, "I don't want you to get discorporated because it'll take forever for Heaven to give you a new body or whatever." Like, yeah. She's just there to save his ass. Kleinschmidt goes, "Mr. Anthony J. Crowley. Your fame precedes you." So okay, first off, like, what has he been doing? What is he famous for?

G: What has he been doing?

C: Crowley, what are you famous for? What's happening? I'd like to think that its he's been working against them, and that's why he's famous. But like, it's hard to tell, and we don't know.

G: And he is a demon.

C: Yeah. I mean, I don't think that means that much. But yeah. And then, okay, secondly, advent of the name Anthony, and then I started crying again as soon as the next lines happen, which was- Aziraphale goes, "Anthony?" and Crowley goes, "You don't like it?" And Aziraphale goes, "No, no, I didn't say that. I'll get used to it." And... agh. Ahhh. Okay, wait actually, first, before we get into that, the fucking stage- stage thing is that after someone says, like, "The mysterious Anthony J. Crowley. Your fame precedes you." What the script says is, "Aziraphale is softening. They haven't spoken in a hundred years. He's realizing they are still friends."

G: Oh, good lord. [C lets out several pained laughs]

C: Hi! Hello!

G: So after that breakup, they didn't speak for-

C: They didn't speak for- it was 80 years? Yeah, they didn't speak for 80 years. But like, Crowley had to have been keeping tabs in order to know to be here tonight.

G: Yeah.

C: That's something.

G: But Aziraphale just- I mean, Aziraphale, king of repression for first and foremost, so like, he would very well be like, "I've forgotten about you."

C: Yeah. Also, like, "He's realizing they're still friends." is just like- Like, we know that Aziraphale considers them friends, even if he won't say it out loud yet. But like, it's nice to see that. Like, yeah. [screams] Okay. Anyway. So as soon as, you know, this following exchange happened, I went crazy cuckoo bananas forever and ever. Like, let's just go- Okay, so I went and read the Wikipedia page for the name Anthony, and also like, okay, first off, why do we think he picked that name? Like, I think the immediate response is like, the line he came up with in like, 1601 was from Antony and Cleopatra, so like, you know, maybe that's why he picked it.

G: What other things about the word Anthony did you find?

C: So the thing is in Shakespeare, it's spelled with a T and without the H at first. And in the seventeenth century, the letter H was added into the spelling on the belief that the name derived from the Greek word anthos, meaning flower. So, I mean, that's meaningful to me just 'cause I feel like plants and The Garden are a very important part of Crowley's life. And I also, like, as someone like- since he's someone who went from like, Crawly to Crowley, like, changing one letter and like, redefining that name for himself, I think he would like a name whose spelling has changed over the years to like, redefine the meaning of it also. So I think that that is part of it also. 

The Wikipedia page also says that Anthony as a Christian name comes from Saint Anthony the Great, who's like a saint who, apparently his two things are that there's a lot of art of him being tempted, [G laughs] and that he protects people with infectious diseases, especially skin diseases. So yeah. It's like, I don't even have like, reasons. It was just like, more me reading everything about the name Anthony, thinking about a way it could apply to Crowley, and then going like, batshit for an hour. 

And then the last thing is that it started off as a family name for a Roman family, and the first one of them claims that the name came from a son of Heracles, which I think is very interesting, given like, the story of like, Heracles being tested by the gods, and also like, being forced to betray and kill his own children. Like, these all feel theologically relevant to Crowley and to religion in Good Omens. So, you know, these are these are the three things that I read about.

G: It very well may be just the way I just chose my name, which is, "Yeah. [both laugh] Gotta have a name!" [both laugh] And you know what? You've gotta have a name.

C: Yeah. And I am also curious about how long he's had it. Like, this is the first time it's come up.

G: Yeah. 'Cause it's been 80 years, yeah.

C: It's been 80 years. It's also possible that he had it before that, for all we know.

G: Yeah, and just never bothered to mention it.

C: Yeah, I mean, given Aziraphale's track record. [G laughs] But like, yeah. I just- I also just think that the act of like, having a first name is like, very like, humancore of him. Or just like, you know, it's something that he chose so that he could like, interact with people more, and it's also just like- I don't- it's such a soft name also, in my opinion. I don't know. I just feel crazy at all times forever and ever. And I do think that he probably did come up with it while they were parted because I like the idea of like, when both of them parted ways, they both had a bit of a self-actualization journey, and both of them hung out with humans more, which would necessitate having a first name, and like, with Aziraphale also involved, learning how to dance, and like, pinning down his clothing style. So yeah. I don't know. It's nice, the ways that they have changed when they are away, and it's also so nice when you are the most transgender demon in the garrison, and I have to kiss you so so bad.

G: Yeah.

C: And then Crowley also like, tips his hat for a second. Very cute. And Aziraphale asks, what does the J stand for? And Crowley goes, "Just a J, really." I mean, we've already discussed "What if it's Juliet?"

G: What if it's Juliet?

C: I feel like the main thing I think about during the "Just a J, really" scene is a footnote in the fic "Mutual Aid" that says, "Crowley liked to imagine that the J carried the same radical, transgender spirit as the P in Marsha P. Johnson's name, but in reality, it was more like the lazy S in Harry S. Truman." Very fun. God. I love trans people so much! [both laugh] I'll move on. I'll move on. But I like that the Crawly to Crowley thing is like, during a time when she was like, clearly, like female-presenting and it felt like a transfem thing, and like, here Anthony J. like, feels like, a transmasc thing, especially 'cause like, in the book, Crowley's really into like, James Bond and all that shit, and I feel like a lot of what he's doing right now in the church is like, him having his James Bond euphoria moments. And like, I don't know. It's so fun that they didn't start with a gender, so they can be trans in every direction. Like, he is transfem and transmasc. Like, good for him. Good for him.

G: You can't see me right now- I mean, the audience can't, but like, I'm smiling so goofily. [C laughs] Like, yeah! He is transgender in every direction! It's so lovely.

C: Yeah. He sees the holy water and sort of gets entranced by it for a second, but then the Nazis decide that they're gonna shoot both of them. And at this Crowley, goes like, "Hey, so like, in a minute, there's gonna be a bomb dropped over this church, and if you run away, you might not die." And the Nazis don't believe him. I guess it's nice that he's giving them a chance to run, but also, like, girl, let it happen.

G: Yeah. And like, they say, like, "Oh, it was supposed to drop at the East End, so you're lying." C: And he goes, "It would take a real, like, a last-minute demonic intervention to throw them off-course." And then he says, like, "And if a bomb does land here, it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it." [G screams] It's so casual that I didn't even notice it the first two times I rewatched this episode. He'll just say it! He'll just say it! 'Cause they're friends, and he knows that they're friends. 

So, you know, the Nazis don't believe him. And then, you know, bomb- the bomb fucking drops. And honestly, this is maybe a risky thing for him to have done 'cause like, he knows they're going to die and go straight to Hell, where they could like, tell a demon, "Hey, do you know how we died? There was like, this fucking guy with sunglasses, and this, like, other guy like, dressed in a white suit thing, and like, they like, redirected the bomb somehow, and they said they were friends." But like, you know, whatever, not a big deal. 

So the smoke clears. Somehow, the bomb puts Aziraphale’s hat back on his head. [both laugh] Slay. And Crowley is like, leaning to the side, cleaning off his sunglasses so that we can see his eyes for like, a brief second when Aziraphale goes, "That was very kind of you." And Crowley does like, this smile that makes me insane crazy, and then goes like, "Shut up" as he puts the glasses back on.

G: I want to point out, you can hear [laughs] distant screaming while this scene was happening.

C: Oh, 'cause of the bombs?

G: Yeah, there's literally this deeply romantic moment happening while alive, innocent locals around them are like, buried in rubble or like, running away or whatever. [laughs]

C: Right, so Crowley redirected the bombs to kill the Nazis, but also like, regular people? [G laughs]

G: I mean, there's gotta be people here, right?

C: Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if they were gonna fall on the other end, I guess people would have died anyway, but like- [laughs] Great point. Girl, what?

G: Screaming! Girl. [both laugh] It was very faint, so maybe I'm like, mishearing it or

whatever, but I think it was there.

C: Maybe. Maybe it was just the Nazis? [G laughs] Huh. Okay. What an interesting thing.

G: What's funny is like, it stops pretty much the moment the Disney Princess falling in love music starts because the music drowns it out. [both laughing] Which I think is crazy.

C: I just love that like, the "Shut up" is just so clearly like, fond, and like, with no bite to it at all. After Paris and after we have to see the horrible wall slam, it's nice to finally have a moment where it's like, they're like so caught up in happiness about seeing each other again for the first time in 80 years(!) and being okay, that, like Crowley's not even thinking about Hell, like, for a second.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale, he makes a joke about how there's no paperwork to like, calm the situation down a bit. And then, well, you all know this scene. "Oh, the books! Oh, I forgot all the books." And then Crowley wrenches the bag out of a dead Nazi's hand and hands it over to Aziraphale, and goes, "Little demonic miracle of my own."

G: And then- [C screams] the corniest Disney princess falling in love music starts. And it literally is. Like, it sounds like a Disney princess falling in love music.

C: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's just so clearly- yeah. And like, Crowley just walks off without looking back, and Aziraphale just stands there, like, stunned.

G: Specifically, Crowley goes, "Lift home?" And like, so they they drove together after this. [laughs] Through the rubble in which people are stuck in and dying. [laughing]

C: Yeah. Jesus. They suck so bad. [G laughs] Tthey don't give a shit.

G: They don't give a single shit.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale stands there, stunned, as the fucking Disney princess falling in love music plays, and he looks after Crowley with this, like, sick, hopeful, I would even say, kind of look.

G: I would say beatific look. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: Do you get that reference?

C: Of course I get that fucking reference. [G laughs] No one should think about it.

G: It literally is a beatific look, though. I'm being fucking for real.

C: Yeah. And Michael Sheen has stated that he plays this as the moment Aziraphale either fell in love or realized that he had fallen in love with Crowley. Well. That sure was a fucking scene.

G: I want to point out that- so I watched the YouTube clip of this several times, repeatedly. And I took a look at the comments, and one was, "Saving the books was sweet, but walking on scalding, consecrated ground to save Aziraphale paperwork. Now, that's friendship." [both laugh] And I felt so strongly opposed to this idea. So strongly opposed. Because, like, the saving him in the church, it's like-

C: A generic thing.

G: It's nice. But also, if Aziraphale was any other being that Crowley is trying to save, this is what he’d do, you know? He would do this. But it's the book that screams personalization. The saving is nice, but saving the box is like, Crowley screaming, "I know you! This is for you! Like, I'm doing this specifically for you!" And I like that so much. Like, I've said this to you, but the music, even. The music when he enters is like, "Haha! It's so funny! Look at him tippy-toeing!" And then, as the bomb falls, nothing. There's no music. And then the book music is like, "Hey, guys, look at this. Like, this is love in all the ways that we know it and some that we don't." [C makes pained sounds] Like, it's so deeply, deeply, deeply romantic, it's crazy

C: Yeah. Yeah. They're in wuv.

G: They're in wuv.

C: I have one last thing, which is that- Did you notice the, like, bird statue in the church, like, the big ol' stone eagle?

G: No. But what's with it?

C: It's a set piece. It's behind the Nazis when they talk. When the bomb explodes, it is a little bit on fire and behind Aziraphale, for, like, you know, the good ol' wing motif. The idea that his wings are burning as falls in love sure is a thing.

G: Okay, slay.

C: And secondly, that statue is in Crowley's flat. It is in his apartment. In Episode 2 at minute 3:01, you can see it right next to his television. It is the same one. And if he's leaving right now to give Aziraphale a ride, it means that, like, sometime during the night, he was filled with such sick longing that he went back to to the church and like, fished that out as a souvenir and put it in his fucking flat. So.

G: What if they are in love in all the ways that we know it and some that we don't? Have we considered that?

C: What if? What if?

G: What if? [C screams]

C: Yeah. Also, while I was doing my rewatch to find the right timestamp for the set piece, I also- There's a statue that's like, behind Crowley during the plant scene that's like, two angels or perhaps an angel and a demon wrestling, and like, shirtless. [G laughs]

G: Good for him.

C: And fucking Neil Gaiman posted about it on Instagram. Like, he said he was talking to the set designer, and they were like, "Oh, it's a statue of like, evil triumphing over good, like, they're wrestling." And Neil said, "Are you sure they're wrestling?"

G: Slay.

C: So slay.

G: Okay. It's been two hours, I think. But let's go on to the last scene of this flashback sequence.

C: Let us.

-

G: We are in Soho, 1967, and we open the scene with like, a very nice like, psychedelic pop, as the subtitles called it, electric guitar music to signal that we are in the modern era with modern music. And I'm so bitter because I tried to look for this song in the Spotify soundtrack. It's not there.

C: Oh, would it be on Tunefind, then?

G: No, I mean, it's the theme, but it's psychedelic pop electric guitar. And there's like, a song in the album that's like, guitar-ish, and it's what plays at the end of the episodes, I think, except for this one, 'cause in this one they played this version. But like, that one is different. It's more like, a heavy rock guitar, not like [sings theme in style], like, you know. And I'm very bitter and very sad, but anyway.

C: Something about this scene is that it's the first Crowley POV in the entire flashback sequence.

G: Oh, yeah. Oof. It is.

C: And, it just feels like as soon as Aziraphale realizes he's in love, he's like, "I can't be telling this story anymore. It's too dangerous." or something. It feels like that. And it's also just it's also just such a moment of like, you come back to Crowley POV, and you're like, she doesn't know. Like, maybe she knows, but like, she doesn't know. Like, she doesn't know that this is the story of them that Aziraphale has in his head. Yeah. Anyway. Back to heist.

G: Oh my god. Oh my god. [laughs] Anyway, back to the heist. So Crowley is sitting in this like, secluded booth in a restaurant with two people-

C: And controversial hair.

G: I love this. I love this hair.

C: I think the first time I watched it, I was like, "Eugh. That's not right," but like, upon rewatch, it's fun.

G: It is right.

C: And she's wearing like, a fun little black turtleneck. It's great.

G: Hell yeah. A guy enters the booth, and we realize that this guy is Shadwell, but like, in '67, so much younger. And if you're like me and you don't recognize the name Shadwell at all, it's the witchhunter, like, Newton's boss.

C: Wait, when did you realize that? So you didn't know?

G: Yeah, I didn't. I realized it when- you know what's so funny? 'Cause when later, Shadwell was like, "Oh, and we have a Witchfinders Army," like, still in '67, I was like, "Oh, this is like, related to the witch hunter." [both laugh] I didn't realize it was him. I only realized it later when old Shadwell tells Crowley, like, "You look like your dad." And I was like, "Ohh! Okay." So, yeah.

C: Well, remember last episode when you were like, "I'm so intrigued about these human agents that they supposedly had. What did Crowley mean by 'They're not sophisticated politically'?" Well, here's your answer.

G: No, it's so funny to me. They literally are not sophisticated politically, you guys.

C: Both of them are getting scammed to hell and back by the same guy.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So with these three people, we realize that Crowley is setting up a heist in a church, and he doesn't say what the thing they're heisting is yet, so. But, you know, we know it's the holy water.

C: Aziraphale literally saved him from getting embarrassed. Imagine like, these people have $200, like, down in their pockets, and she's like, "Oh, yeah, just like, go over to that fountain and scoop something in a cup for me. Thanks."

G: So when Crowley heads out, Shadwell stops him and tells him like, "Oh, I'm- as I've said earlier, I'm Lance Corporal of an enormous secret army that battles the forces of witchery." And Crowley is like, "Oh, yeah, okay." And Shadwell goes, "It's the Witchfinder Army. Perhaps you've heard of it." And the thing is, throughout this entire scene, Crowley has been speaking in a different way than he usually does. 'Cause throughout history, and now, in recent times, like, he usually like, slurs his words, or like, stutters and like, makes you think that he's finding it hard to find the word in his head. He like, repeats syllables, you know? But in this scene, he has spoken straight. Like, he's spoken with much exuding of confidence, and like, it's obvious he's trying to command the room and all that crap. But the moment Shadwell was like, "Oh, yeah, I have this secret thing, and now I'm just saying it to you like, willy-nilly," he loses his cadence, and he goes, "Wh- wh- I thought you said it was a secret." And I just think that's like, a wonderful acting choice that like [C laughs], he's like, so taken aback that this guy's just telling him things that he's like, "What?" Yeah. I think it's wonderful

C: If we go back to the heist scene for a second there, like, two very unimportant things. One, I love how Crowley pronounces, like, "schtum," like, when he's like, explaining the last $100. It's so cute. And secondly, Shadwell is asking like, "Hey, is there any witchcraft involved in like, this whole thing?" And he asks, like, "You yourself are not a witch, warlock, or someone who calls your cat funny names, right?" And Crowley goes, "Not a witch. Don't have any pets." So he's skipping the warlock part of the question, which I think is fun, because it's either like, he's like, lying by omission, because, like, currently, if he is male-presenting, like, he is a warlock 'cause he does use magic, or it's like, if she currently feels more girl mode, then it's like, "The warlock question isn't even applicable to me right now." It feels transgender. It's fun.

G: Yeah! Anyway, Shadwell offers the services of the army to Crowley, and then I realized that Crowley's people are, you know, this guy and the army. His not-so-sophisticated, politically-speaking people. So when all that's done, he walks to the Bantley, and as he enters, Aziraphale appears there in the passenger seat.

C: Yeah. He couldn't just walk? He literally lives here.

G: The thing is, this scene starts off with Crowley being a bit antagonistic. Like, not antagonistic, I guess, but like, he's like, "Oh, what are you doing here?" Like, that, you know. And Aziraphale tells him that like, "Oh, I live here in Soho. I work here. And I've heard things, and I've heard that you're planning to rob a church."

C: This does beg the question, why did Crowley set up the heist in Soho?

G: You think he's asking for Aziraphale's attention?

C: I don't know. Because it doesn't feel like it.

G: I don't think so.

C: Aziraphale showing up, Crowley has no sense of like, "I did it. It worked" in her, so like, I don't think so. But it could have been like, subconscious or something.

G: Where does Crowley live? Where is his flat?

C: Mayfair?

G: Where the hell is that?

C: I don't know. Let's go on Google fucking maps. I mean, everything in England is like, two hours' drive away from each other, like, max.

G: It's an eight minute situation. It's very near each other.

C: [laughs] It's an eight-minute drive? Oh, yeah, I'm getting a five-minute drive, 13-minute walk. [both laugh]

G: Literally, he can walk there. I love that.

C: That's so nice.

G: So maybe he was just like, "Let's go over to the other town. Why not?"

C: Yeah. I think Soho is more of like- right, you said it was like, more of like, a red light district or whatever at one time? So yeah, I guess it'd be easier to find someone to do a heist for you there.

G: Yeah. Well, anyway, Aziraphale tells him like, "Oh, it's too dangerous." And Crowley's like, "Yeah, you told me that 105 or so years ago, and I didn't change my mind." And Aziraphale's like, "Yeah, I've not changed my mind, but I can't let you do this. Like, I can't have you risk your life in this way."

C: Specifically, he says earlier, like, "Holy water won't just kill your body. It will destroy you completely," which is the exact same sentence structure as 1601, where he tells Crowley, "Hell won't just be angry. They'll destroy you." which yeah, yeah. Something to think about!

G: He hands Crowley this thermos of holy water so Crowley doesn't have to rob the church anymore. And Crowley like, looks at this and goes like, "Wow. After everything you've said to me?" and Aziraphale's like, "Yeah." So he puts the thermos down, turns to Aziraphale, and goes, "Should I say thank you?" And Aziraphale is like, sitting so nervously on the seat, and he goes, "Better not." And Crowley asks, "Can I drop you anywhere?" [C screams] And Aziraphale goes, "No, thank you."

C: Ah, it's just about like, Crowley can't say thank you, so like, "Here's a service that I can provide instead of saying thank you," and then Aziraphale rejects it with a voiced "thank you" 'cause they're back in a safe zone where they can say things in real words again. And it's so much! It's a lot.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, I love that the thermos is like, tartan, 'cause like, that's Aziraphale's whole like, visual motif thing. I'm like, curious about if this is something that he had that he like, brought over, or if, like, he bought one specifically that was like, customized or something. Do you know what I mean? Where did it come from?

G: Yeah. I mean, to be fair, every thermos that my grandmother [C laughs] is also like this. So I think maybe it's just of the era.

C: Yeah, perhaps so.

G: Crowley is still looking at Aziraphale, and Aziraphale looks at him and goes, "Oh, don't look so disappointed. [C screams] Perhaps one day we can... I don't know. Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz?" [C screams] And Crowley, in the softest voice he has ever put on this entire time, goes, "I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go." [C screams] And Aziraphale just looks at him and says, "You go too fast for me, Crowley." And then he leaves. [C screaming] Is anyone else seeing this? Anyone else here? [C makes pained sound]

C: Who up throwing up and screaming and crying and sobbing? I.

G: I mean, what you said, of like, "Should I say thank you?" and it's like, "No," and then, "Can I drop you anywhere?" And it's like, he's extending this hand of gratitude and affection, you know, or whatever. And Aziraphale goes, "No." to both. Don't say thank you, don't drop me off. And the next thing Crowley says is like, basically, it's like, "To make it clear, I am willing to do it. Like, I will give you a lift, and I will do things for you," and like, it literally is like, "You did this thing for me, 'cause, you know, you do things for me. And I will do things for you." And Aziraphale basically just goes, "Well, don't." And it makes me- [laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: It makes me so upset. And also, after saying, "No, thank you." like, Aziraphale could have just left. He could have just left. Like, that was the end of the conversation, pretty much. But like, he didn't. And you can see in the way he's acting, the way he's holding himself, he's glancing over and over again, he had to explain himself, because this is- like, he has thought about this. He wanted to say it. Like, he wanted to say this specific thing. It's a confession in a way, right? It's like-

C: You can only reject a thing if the thing is already there. Like, this is a "Yes, there is something between us" moment.

G: Yeah, like, it's a confession of like, "I will do this thing because, you know, I care about you" and etc. God, [laughing] I can't even say like, "I love you" in Aziraphale voice because it's like, it's too much! It literally is, though. But like, it's also a rejection in the "You go too fast for me." And like, it's a rejection, for now. I mean, the way it's, you know, said, it's like, "Perhaps one day." But also, it's not a promise. Like, "perhaps one day" is not "definitely one day." It's "It may happen, and it may not, but not right now."

C: Yeah. You said to me once- you were like, "It suddenly hit me that like, they really are immortal, and 'perhaps one day' means-" like, they can always have hope because, like, there will always be days that like, maybe something can change, and perhaps one day we can be together that way. And then, like, Armageddon hits, and it's like, "Oh. Those days are fucking limited. And we can't. Ever."

G: Yeah. Yeah.

C: And there's also the fact that they do fucking dine at the Ritz! They dine at the fucking Ritz in Episode 1. They dine at the Ritz in a way that implies that they've done it before. And like, god. First off, like, hilarious moment when Aziraphale first invites Crowley to the Ritz, and Crowley's like, “Holy shit, it’s happening. I can finally fuck that fussy old boulder,” [both laugh] and then nothing happens. Oh, for context, there is a fic called-

G: [laughs] That fussy old boulder, yeah.

C: Let me find the name of the fic because I don't remember the name of the fic. The fic is by spocklee on AO3, s-p-o-c-k-l-e-e. Okay, the fic is called "a German song famously covered by 21 year old Wayne Newton in 1963," and it has the line, "Didn't Sisyphus ever win? Didn't he ever get to fuck that fussy old boulder or what?" from Crowley's point of view, and it's just been running on a loop through my brain, or like, I've been running on a loop through that line, for, like, the last week after reading it, 'cause it's so fucking funny, and like, every time something, like, crazy sexual tension happens this episode, I do think, like, "When will he get to fuck that fussy old boulder?"

C: What do you think the "you go too fast for me" means? Like, what is he trying to say? And also, what do you think Crowley got from it? Like, what do you think he think of it? 'Cause there is the aspect of like, "Let's slow down," you know. But there's also the whole, like, "You are fundamentally too fast for me. It's never gonna change." And I do wonder, like, how they meant it and how they absorbed it, both of them.

C: Yeah. I mean, it's hard to- because, like, Aziraphale looks so, like, despairing when he says it. Like, it's not just like a "Let's have a nice communication about pace in our relationship" sort of look. It's like a- I don't- I mean, but there is the "perhaps one day," and it's hard for me to know how much he even means the "perhaps one day," either. Like, the tone, is very like, "This is just wishful thinking, but I want it, but we can never, ever, ever have it" is like, the vibe that I get from, just like, how fucking depressed both of them look at this conversation. But like, I don't know what he meant. I think it was just like, I don't even know if he knew what he meant. I think it was just that like- 'Cause you said that you thought that this was something he'd sort of like, thought through and wanted to say for a while. I don't know if I really got that vibe from him. I feel like he was just like, in a moment of like, complete and abject misery. 

Like, okay, first of all, he just gave Crowley the thing that he thinks is a suicide pill, right? Like, that colors the scene immensely. Like, this is like, a moment when he's like, "I have just given her the tools by which she can leave forever."

G: Destroy herself, yeah.

C: Like, that's part of it. He's like, upset about that. And it's like, "Our time is even more limited than I thought it was, because before, I thought it was forever, but like, now it might not be. And also, I'm just like, so abjectly miserable right now, and you are like, here and offering me something, and I just can't do it. I just can't do it. Like, I'm not even thinking about the future. I just in this moment am so sad." is sorta just the vibe I got.

G: When I said that, like, he had to explain himself, I think it's less of like, he thought about saying it. I meant like, he thought about this. Like, it's in his head. I do agree with you that like, it's kind of like, a spur of the moment situation. Like, he wanted to say it, but he didn't like, go in thinking, "I will say it." But him staying there and being like, "I'll stay here after the 'no, thank you.'" Like, that hesitation comes from like, "But there's gotta be more, right?" you know? Like, that feeling. "I have to say more, right? I have to make clear. I have to explain myself."

C: Yeah. Yeah. As for what Crowley got out of it, I know what book Crowley would have gotten out of it because book Crowley is an optimist. I don't think show Crowley is an optimist, but I think there would be a moment of like, "Shit. Like, it isn't just me. Holy shit." which-

G: I don't think it happens here.

C: Hm. Okay. We can discuss that. [G laughs] But I think that- I don't know. It is like, the same thing as it's always been. It's just like, that, like, they said it out loud a little bit more than they usually do, but not even that much either. So I feel like there's the moment of like, "Okay, I wasn't just imagining things," and then the like, "But it doesn't change a single fucking thing, does it?" So I think this is where the four questions-

G: [laughs] Yeah, sure. Let's fucking go through the four questions. Me and Crystal-

C: Grey and I independently, while we were rewatching this sequence, were like, "There are four specific questions that we have to ask each of these characters separately." And they are-

G: And then we sent it to each other like, at this same- [laughs] like, literally same, like, within five seconds of each other, we listed out these four questions.

C: We didn't even say there are four questions first. It's just like, we both knew what we wanted to say. And the four questions are: When did you fall in love? When did you know that you were in love? When did you know that the other person was in love with you? And when did you know that the other person knew that they were in love with you? [G laughs]

G: What is this? Let's not- it's too complicated to get it in here, all. So maybe one day-

C: Mm-hm. Perhaps one day. [laughs]

G: Perhaps one day, we can dine at the Ritz. Or make a special episode where we discuss all this shit. But- 'cause the thing is, I don't think I have enough of the picture yet. Like, it's still a big story. So maybe this could be a question reserved for after we finish Season 2.

C: Sure. But you think that all of these timestamps have happened before the present day, at least, right? Or have they not?

G: I think the falling in love and realizing the love for Crowley has happened.

C: Oh, absolutely.

G: For Crowley, "When did you realize that Aziraphale is in love," probably betwixt '41 and '67, right?

C: Between, you think. So you think it happened before this?

G: Yeah. I don't think necessarily it happened before, but I think it may well have happened before. And Crowley thinking that Aziraphale knows that Aziraphale is- has feelings. [laughing] What is it with me? Did you notice that? I was saying like, "When did Crowley realize that Aziraphale blah blah blah," and when it was, Aziraphale, saying that Aziraphale is in love, I stopped myself, and went, "Has feelings?" [both laughing] I'm in too deep! I'm in too fucking deep.

C: I mean, it really is, like. Yeah. Yeah.

G: Yeah. I don't think he's known it yet. For Crowley. I don't think he knows it yet.

C: Yeah, I think I go back and forth on that one. But yeah.

G: You agree with me generally?

C: I think I agree that he realized that the feelings were returned after '41. I mean, honestly, it could have been earlier. Like, Aziraphale didn't know he was in love, but he has been in love.

G: It well may be.

C: It well may be. [makes pained sounds]

-

G: For this general section, I have a thought that I want to share, and it's about the fact that there is no God narration in the entire scenes of the past. Like, we hear God at the beginning asking, but that's not a God narration. That's just God is part of the story, and God is there. But the fact that this is the only part so far in the story that doesn't have God saying anything, like, it made me think, like, "Why? Was God not here? Did she not take any interest?" Like, God narrates Aziraphale and Crowley's story now because the apocalypse is happening, and they’re central to it. The fact that She doesn't bother to narrate this history juju parts is that 1) It makes it seem like She wasn’t looking at all this. Like, She doesn’t give a shit. And 2) it makes the show, at least to this point in the story, very explicitly not about Aziraphale and Crowley’s feelings for each other or relationship. The scenes we see that are related to the plot and narrated by God and all that are the scenes that are relevant to God. And these aren't. So it makes you go, "Oh. So what are we not privy to? Like, what are we not seeing?" And the answer is these moments. You know, it's moments of connection. Moments where either the sole or most prevalent importance is to show us their connection. And like, the fact that God, here, doesn’t care to tell this story is so stark in comparison to Supernatural, which- in Supernatural, for example, it deals with the God question in a "God is completely obsessed with our main characters, sees them all the time, knowledgeable of their every move," all that. But like, not here. In here, God just doesn't care to tell this part of the story. And there's this song by The Mountain Goats [C laughs] called "Jenny"-

C: Yup.

G: - and there’s a lyric that goes, "We were the one thing in the galaxy God didn't have his eyes on.'' And the thing about Crowley and Aziraphale is, this was true. God didn't have Her eyes on them for a long time. [laughs] This is so earnest! This is so earnest! But I hope by the end of this season, it gets to be true again, and I hope that this time, they realize that God isn't looking, and that that's a good thing, and that they're able to savor it.

C: [teary laugh] I'm like, tearing up?

G: Great! [both laughing] I hope I die. God, it's so earnest. What is wrong with me? Well, it is what it is.

C: Yeah. It really is what it is. I guess from my perspective, it's like, I know that none of this was in the book, so like, there wouldn't be narration because the narration is just lines from the book, but like, I love the way that making the narrator God and adding scenes like this in makes that interpretation that you said very viable. It's a good time. And I guess, as someone who's like, "This isn't in the book," my thoughts around the flashback sequence is more just like, "I wonder why this is here in this episode. Like, what purpose does it lend to the present day plot for us to know that this is their history?" And like, it can't just be to make Aziraphale look so bad. [laughs] Like, that can't be all of it. But it is like, my automatic emotional response as a Crowley guy. What do you think this adds to like, the later scenes?

G: I don't know. I don't know. 'Cause like, it really does feel like, just, "This is who they are." You know? It's like, it doesn't- when we get to it, we will talk about it further, but I do not understand Aziraphale later. What is he doing?

C: Okay, you know what, I was basically banking on you being an Aziraphale understander and like, being able to explain what the fuck is happening at the bandstand to me, but, like, clearly, neither of us know! What was that? [both laugh]

G: What's going on inside of his mind? I don't know. Like, why is he so desperate now to be on Heaven's side? Like, what is it? [both]` I don't know.

C: Okay, well, we're gonna have to have a very confused discussion then. But yeah, okay, I don't- Maybe another way to put it is like, if, like, you had up to three takeaways from the flashbacks, like, what would they be?

G: One is- Well, prior to this, I don't think I knew about the arrangement.

C: They mentioned it in Episode 1, but you weren't paying as much attention in Episode 1.

G: That's true. IDGAF back then, but now I GAF so hard and so raw. [C laughs] I don't know. What do I take away from this? They're in love?

C: Yeah. [laughs] They are in love.

G: I woke up shaking three hours into my sleep because they're so in love it's unreal? What is your takeaway? You answer it first.

C: Okay, I think my takeaway is first, just like, a continued thing of like, "Here's their history where Aziraphale won't say things out loud. Crowley also won't say things out loud, but like, in a way that covers up that he won't say things out loud." And like, he's always the one who's like there to say the thing that Aziraphale won't say or to like, get him to do like, something that he wants to do but like, can't do himself, and that's also what Aziraphale's there for. Like, both of them like, generally know what the other person wants, and then allows them to do it. I think it's that like, I think- Aziraphale's fear for their safety. I mean, both of them's fear for their safety, but especially Aziraphale's fear for their safety is like, really expanded upon here. And like, we see how, throughout time, they would have to like, meet secretively and like, all that shit. So I feel like that gives their collaboration more weight in terms of the risk.

G: Oh. I've realized- I've realized my takeaway.

C: Okay. Great.

G: They broke up before, and they're breaking up now, but they'll be fine. I think that's a takeaway. Honestly, that's my takeaway.

C: I think that's also a thing. I think that St. James's Park was like, a "Yeah like, they've done this before." Like, they fight about things, and they don't really communicate afterwards, but they do come back together in some way.

G: Except now there's a deadline because end of the world and whatnot.

C: Crowley always saving Aziraphale also feels like a takeaway. Also, totally new thing that they added to the show. I feel like they're like- I know this isn't about making Aziraphale look bad, but a lot of it does feel like it's making Aziraphale look bad because it's like, a lot of like, "Crowley knows better" sort of scenes. Like, it could have been like, a rescue and then a rescue the other way around, but it wasn't.

G: I think that's actually very important to me that it's Crowley who's always showing up for Aziraphale. So when the last scene happens, it's like, "Oh. Okay." Do you know what I mean?

C: Hmm. In what way?

G: [laughs] So you don't know what I mean. This is so sad. Well, I think it makes it more like, all this time, Crowley has been saving Aziraphale and all that and all that, and it's always shown to be like, something you can brush off. Something that's like, "Oh, it's not a big deal" to Crowley, at least. But most of them are big deals to Aziraphale. And specifically, Aziraphale always either refusing or attempting to refuse, like, in, you know, 1601, like, he's like, "No, no no no. Okay, fine." Like, that attitude makes it that when he does eventually go, "Okay. I'll do it." like, that makes it more like, a realization for Crowley, that like, it is a big deal, and yet he's doing it because- something. [laughs]

C: Yeah. I feel like all the loud, flashy, acts of service are Crowley like, rescuing Aziraphale, but it ends with Aziraphale doing something for Crowley, like, giving her the holy water. And that's like, we don't really understand the details of that. But that's like, clearly a big deal because it's like, something that Aziraphale could get into a lot of trouble for, and that, like, Crowley wouldn't even be able to say out loud in the park, where they have all their secret meetings. Like, it is like way more taboo than like, maybe anything else that like, they've ever done. So like, I feel like that is like a- I think they could have framed it a little better to make that clearer. But, like, that is the like, moment of like, Aziraphale doing his part or whatever the fuck. And also, like, they're allowed to show their love in different ways, also.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, Aziraphale agreeing to the Arrangement is like, a big deal, as you said. Everything that he agrees to, like, when Crowley convinces him to do it is a big deal. Like, that is a huge act of love and trust on Aziraphale's part. So, yeah, Yeah. They're so in love, it's unreal!

G: In all the ways that we know it, and some that we don't.

C: Uh-huh.

G: Okay, so that's it for the first part of the episode. So what we're going to do is we're going to cut this podcast into a Part 1, Part 2. So we'll have 3.1 releasing today and then 3.2 four days from now? I don't know.

C: Yeah. Something like that.

G: It's gonna be there. It's not gonna be a the next week situation 'cause we want- Well, I want to watch [laughs] Good Omens already, so I'm not gonna wait a week for that. So yeah! Follow us on social media! We interact through the account set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. So we are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. And email us at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. Please do it. Please talk to us. 'Cause, yeah, as you can see, we have a lot to say. [laughs]

C: Yeah. And if you have other interpretations or other takeaways for the flashbacks and all that, would love to hear them genuinely. Yeah. Thanks to everyone who’s donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod! See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[theme song]

-

[beep]

[C screams]

G: Shall we start?

C: I mean, sure, let's start. [laughing] Yeah.

G: [laughing] I'm losing it.

C: What? Yeah, I- This is either gonna be the worst or the best episode of a podcast we've ever recorded, because, like, we care so deeply-

G: I care so much!

C: - but also, we're bonkers to the fucking wall. Like, I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm gonna start eating wallpaper. Okay.

G: [laughing] I dreamt about them constantly [both laughing] this week. It's crazy.

C: Do you wanna drop the timeloop dream, or do you wanna keep that to write? [G laughs]

G: Well, we can add this section at the end, you know, like, as a- But like, I had this timeloop dream, like, immediately after- As in, like I said, I watched it on Sunday. 3-5AM, I had this dream. It was so vivid in my mind that when I woke up, like, you know you have a tendency to be like, "Is that a dream or a memory?" And like, I was just like, "It just happened, I guess, in the show." [laughs] But the dream was that Aziraphale keeps- they're stuck in a timeloop, and Aziraphale keeps getting into trouble-

C: In 1941.

G: Yeah, in the 1941 with the Nazi spies. And then, like, Crowley would, every single night, have to redirect the bomb somewhere else [laughs] so to save Aziraphale's ass. Which like, I mean, the concept is good, actually. Like, that's a good concept for something.

C: I agree.

G: But like, I literally woke up, and I was like, shaking and everything. And then I rewatched the episode, and I was like, "That didn't fucking happen." [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: That's literally not what happened!

C: It's not what happened.

G: But the brain is an imaginative thing.

C: I mean, it could have been what happened.

G: It could have been.

C: We just saw the last iteration of the timeloop.

G: Yeah.

C: Yep.

G: [sighs] Let's start.

C: Yeah, okay. Let's start. Wait [laughing], okay, I have to breathe. [both laughing]

G: Let us go, baby

C: Okay.

G: Also-

C: Yeah?

G: This is like, the first episode in our history of podcasting that I have put in this amount of effort pre-recording. Like, I have 11 pages of notes, [laughing] which is crazy.

C: I have 22 pages of notes if anyone's counting. But, yeah, no, my entire Good Omens notes document is 43 pages long [G laughing] for these three episodes, and pages 21-43 are this episode.

-

[beep]

C: I wanted to tell a really long unrelated anecdote here, but I don't know if I want to anymore, so I guess we can move on, maybe.

G: You can if you like, but okay. It's okay.

C: Okay. No, you know what? You know what? I'll do it. I'm brave and strong. Why am I saying it like that? It's not even an anything anecdote. Okay, so the thing about like, this is that it means that for the last 500 years, Aziraphale's thinking about Crowley with the wrong name. You know what I mean?

G: Yeah.

C: It's not like, just a slip of the tongue sort of thing. Like, it means that like, when he corrected himself in Rome, it was like, that was like, the first time in 8 years he'd thought of Crowley with the right name, and here, it's like, "Wow, for 500 years, he just got it wrong." And like, an opposite story in my life is, okay, so like, I told Danica that, like, my pronouns were changing to they/them in like, high school at some point, right? And then, our situations are such that, like, we really only hang out one-on-one, so there's never-

G: Another person, yeah.

C: - a time when she would have to use my pronouns, right?

G: To refer to you in third, yeah.

C: Yeah. So we spend like, two years like that, and like, the whole time, it's like, good, but like, I guess I am thinking like, "Well, like, when I'm not here, does she get it right? Is she thinking about me correctly? Or like, am I always going to be her girl best friend from sixth grade?" And then like, okay, so like, first, like, okay, someone getting your pronouns right is like, a sign, potentially that they are viewing you correctly in their brain, but it could also just mean that they have a really great, like, brain-to-mouth filter, and that each time, like, while you're there, they're like, on alert, or whatever, so they can translate in the moment, but they're still thinking of you wrong, right? So I was like, "Okay, like, I guess I'll probably just never know." But luckily I did end up knowing, and how I ended up knowing is that the first time I hung out with Danica in a group, which was like, two years after the new pronouns, it was also like, a few days after another friend of ours had recently come out and changed his name and pronouns. So like, we were all together in a group. And sorry to our other friend, but Danica got all my pronouns right, and then fucked up on his name and pronouns a few times, so that was like, simultaneously like a [G laughing] "So she doesn't have a good brain-to-mouth filter, and she is getting my pronouns right," so as a result [both laughing], yeah, I win. I did it. I'm correct in her brain. Hell yeah!

G: God.

C: And again, really sorry to that other guy. Like, she corrected herself, and like, we're good now, obviously, but like, [laughing] it made me really, really happy. And you know what? Aziraphale, do better.

[atlafan]

almost every single night between 11PM and 1AM my upstairs neighbor has a visitor, and in general I don’t think this man knows that sound travels because he walks like he’s stomping all the fucking time! Anyways, my bedroom shares a wall with the stairs he uses to go up and down, in and out of his apartment. He always slams his own door shut, stomps his way down the stairs, and then very loudly leaves through the front door. Which I can hear because my bedroom is at the front of the house. So then his visitor comes, I can hear them fucking because I think his room is above mine. And then the visitor leaves after. So I can’t tell if he just hooks up with a ton of different people or if he doesn’t let this girl spend the night or if she doesn’t like spending the night. Either way, I can hear them going up and down the stairs, in and out of the house. And then my upstairs neighbor obviously has to get ready for bed afterwards. So I can hear him stomping around as he does that. I started almost yelling last night, very loudly saying, “dude come on!”

his daughter comes to stay with him every other weekend and when I tell you she runs around like she’s wearing fucking tap shoes! Last weekend she started running around at like 8am and I got up and screamed and started stomping around. I heard him yell at her to stop running. I’ve always woken up to the sound of his alarm buzzing several times. And every time he comes home, his car is blasting music and he sits in his car for like 20 minutes before going inside. We share the garbage barrels and he NEVER brings them out front anymore, I always end up having to do it. So now I’m just getting aggravated with every little thing he does.

I know it could be ten times worse. I’ve had worse upstairs neighbors. But it’s awful when I can’t get sleep before his late night actions. Luckily this morning I was conked out so I didn’t hear him leave the house like I usually do at like 6 in the morning.

I’m very quiet for the most part. Henry rarely barks, so he’s not the cause of any noise. I am very conscious of the nose that I make. But when this dude is stomping around at all hours, I slam things and bang things because I get pissed!

I have no idea how this guy is getting bitches. I’ve seen him. Idk how he’s getting people to fuck him I really don’t. And I will be shallow and mean about it because I just don’t see the appeal at all.

And the stuff with his daughter…like I know it can’t be easy having like a 4 year old every other weekend, but Jesus fucking Christ, if I EVER stomped or ran around the house like that, my father would immediately start screaming to tell me to stop. We didn’t even wear shoes in the house. We weren’t allowed! When I tell you I walk as light as a feather because I also grew up with my bedroom in the attic so every room below me could hear my sister and I walking around. We tiptoed to not disturb anyone else. I hate to be like the “these kids today” or “these parents today” person, but holy fucking shit teach your kids not to run around the house, especially with shoes on when you KNOW someone is right below you. AND sometimes she’s up past 9, sometimes 10PM running around. PUT YOUR KID TO BED! A kid that young should be in bed by at least 8! Like what the fuck are you doing?????

Anyways, I didn’t fall asleep until after 1am last night and I’m cranky

[crypticpine]

List of things I was supposed to do:

Study for my history midterm by looking at the study guide that has the ACTUAL QUESTIONS ON IT without the answers, and try to figure out them and memorize the answers.

research and write a rough draft of a biography on any journalist I think is notable for mass communications.

study for Professional speaking midterm

write short essay on an article for law and ethics.

record and edit a 2-3 minute video that was supposed to be for Valentine's Day but procrastinated on that so much and now worried because technically it was for someone else, and I am so nervous when I see that person again-

List of things I did do:

watched part of The Tourist with my mom.

watched A LOT of YouTube

got caught up on Webcomic Four Leaf finally (just before last episode is dropped D:)

looked at funny Zillow listings and got 20 listings to look at with friends later (that later wasn't asked until I was 10 listings in, thankfully they did find the idea fun)

woke up consistently at 11:30 am despite going to bed at a reasonable time (that time being 1am)

watched part of The Act with my mom

took a shower and did a little bit of laundry. Finally changed sheets on my bed as well.

I mean... TECHNICALLY, I was MORE productive, but half those things I didn't even want to do nor knew about until my mom was like "Oh I'll guess I'll watch this in our living room" and my brain decided "I know how this ends, but we must see it play out"

Man, I was so productive this weekend (lie)

[evilback-wards]

Coffee Shop AU [Ouma x Saihara] 20 Minute Writing Challenge

Series: Danganronpa V3

Pairing: Kokichi and Saihara

Rating: E for Everyone for once lol

Prompt: Coffee Shop (Barista Kokichi!)

It wasn’t always like this. This stupid Starbucks used to be a mom and pop shop owned by my friends moms aunt or whatever. Relationships, bounds, all that nuanced stuff can only be found in my Vita these days. 

I shook up another coffee, or whatever us baristas do when we make coffee. It’s just that – making coffee – at least until D.I.C.E kicks off. It’s just – you know – ugh…

My eyes strain at the name of the cup, written in that poor pigs handwriting. Fucking Mikan always fucked up the names too, so more than likely, this name was written poorly and spelled wrong. Sometimes I think she does it to piss me off. 

The tacky green colors and weird white text goddess hung just above my waist, apron tied in many knots to fit someone my height and weight. I had to stuff my beautifully styled hair under one of their disgusting required “hair nets” for reasons beyond my desire to understand corporate. Sure, that fit, but the aprons were all too long and gaudy. Guess Starbucks never heard of a petite size or style in its’ existence, eh?

I pick up the only order since a few hours ago, man, could it hurt them to start at least advertising there’s a Starbucks here? Haha, I’m lying, they have but I’ve been so terrible most customers either need to know me or have an acquired taste for my style of “customer service.” 

I start dazing out, staring at the piping hot coffee cup for much longer than needed probably. Oh well. The customer will bring their angry, grumpy, and frilly self up for this girly coffee.

I mean, what even is this order? Extra cream, extra chocolate syrup, and worst of all, only one shot of expresso? While they were ordering, just, you know, make it a fucking hot chocolate?!? It would probably be cheaper that way too. I was tempted to let out a groan, but, I guess I should be more careful on my customer service. Ooor maybe not. Maybe I’ll just put on my dumb little grin and hope an insult lands without finding its way into my managers ear. 

“Um…”

I kept jotting my eyes up and down the order sleeve, completely dazed by the amount of specifies and particulars this, likely ditzy, customer requested. I could make out Mikans scribbles better than her actual letters. Mikan always thinks writing things slightly to the left or right makes it the most recent thing. Ugh — I swear if she wasn’t my supervisor I’d kick her right in that whorish cunt of hers. 

“Uhm, excuse me…”

I bet – oh yeah, even wanted extra whipped cream too. I could just make out the little melting wisps of cream through the container – oh boy – this persons’ either a suicidal diabetic or a modern day sugar addict like–

“K-Kokichi, the customer has been waiting for their drink for t-too long!” Mikan belted in that pitiful voice of hers. Even as pitiful, piggish, stupid person I still had to abide by “disciplinary action”. At least that’s how the regional supervisor Nekomaru gets his point across with me. We’ll see if he can ever get me to “quit” like he always threatens.

My eyes break away from the drink to meet…someone unexpected. The guys eyes were large, almost doe-like, staring directly at me. His hand seemed outstretched, though half retracted. Blackish-blue outfit, okay hair, roundish face, soft lips, soft ‘ope’, slim figure, much taller than me…

“It’s ok, don’t worry about Mikan! He, uh…Kokichi must’ve not seen him. We have a bit of a height difference, and with the counter, it’s all just sort of–” spoke a female voice, standing next to *and* holding the hand of the presumed customer….customer…

“S-Still! It’s my job as supervisor to make sure everything r-runs smoothly!” Mikan sputtered out like some sort of–ugh–it’s boring insulting her now. I have eye candy in my view. I need to block her out, somewhat. 

I motion my eyes over to the girl, pink out-fit, blond hair, typical customer–but him–the guy–the weird hat guy…somewhat of a hottie. Hopefully not dating pinkie. 

I put on my best smile, a bright smile, extending it out to the half-stretched weird hat guy. 

“Uh, dunno if this name is right due to poor management, but Shuichi! You’re sugar with coffee is ready!” I say, smile and all. I hope I’m radiating enough faux happiness to cause Mikan to go mad over my typical, slightly bullish, remark.

I could hear her get into her usual spastic, incomprehensible  stuttering besides me, saying something about getting Nekomaru in soon. Oh well. The best I could do now is roll with the punches.

Somehow, I got a laugh – no two – pinkie laughed with weird hat boy. 

“Hey, you’re sorta funny. Sorry about that,” spoke Pinkie again, looking over to Mikan reaching out a cellphone, but I really wanted to hear weird hat boys voice. What could it possibly sound like?

“Well, thanks for my coffee, better late than never I guess,” Shuichi says with a grin, “And yeah, that’s my name.”

Ok. So, is he going to be a regular or what? What ritualistic offering did I have to make to get him to come back without pinkie next to him?

[nazyalenskyism]

Not The Time!

Summary: Nikolai and Zoya have the worst timing.

A/N: Because I procrastinate everything including sleep, here’s a 2.4k fic I started at 1am last night because I saw a clip from a movie on twitter and thought, ‘hey, what if Zoyalai did that?’ This ended up a lot longer than originally planned and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I hope you enjoy! ❤ Thanks for reading! Ao3: Not The Time! “We’re outnumbered,” Tamar yelled as she flung her axes in quick succession at a cluster of oncoming soldiers. “What do we do?” “Stay alive and figure the rest of it out as you go,” Zoya growled, heaving her arms to summon yet another wave of icy wind to push back the advancing Fjerdans. “Excellent advice, Commander,” Tolya cried, running his sword through, “if we survive based on your advice, I’ll write an ode in your name.” “I prefer ballads” Genya called out, flinging another canister of the concoction she had made that instantly knocked out their opponents into Nadia’s awaiting gust. David didn’t look up from the contraption he was fiddling with at the base of the dysfunctional airship, “the poem isn’t for you, dear.” “If we survive, I’ll knight you all,” Nikolai grunted, firing his pistols. “Make holidays in your name, paint royal portraits of your likeness, the whole works.” Zoya scoffed, “you can’t knight people, that only happens in storybooks.” “If we die today, I doubt it will matter!”

The battle was raging on and as the minutes slipped by, the Ravkans found themselves increasingly overwhelmed. Nikolai had known that their chances were slim, but he would not be the Lantsov king who saw his country drown without trying everything in his power to save his people. A passionate rallying speech to his soldiers, a thanks to his family for choosing to stay at his side and to go down for a country who had never given a damn about them, and one last look at the possibility of a future encompassed in the blue of Zoya’s fluttering hair ribbon had been all he’d been able to do before they launched themselves into this fight. Nikolai scanned the battlefield for any sort of reprieve and instead found a slight hole in the Fjerdans’ formations. Were the Ravkans making a dent? He fired off a pistol and inspected the gap further, they could break through the ranks there, they would be able to get to the top of the ridge and perhaps neutralize the battlefield with Genya’s sleep potion...Then the remaining Ravkan soldiers behind the lines could turn the Fjerdans’ hands to surrender… and then, they might win this battle. He might save his people and his friends. But first he had to get to the top of the ridge, and he needed a Squaller for dispersal. He glanced around at the group around him, he couldn’t throw any of his friends, Adrik, Nadia, or Zoya into harm with him, not when he was sure he would probably die trying to get there. He watched as Zoya pulled out her sword, a weapon she was now comfortable using thanks to Juris’ training in the Fold, and wield it like the warrior Saint she’d become, a fearless protector of the people, a queen. All around him, his friends stood out to him like burning embers on the battlefield and he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep them alive. He had to take the leap now, if he had any chance of saving them all. He yelled out to his friends, trying to outline his plan as quickly as possible, but his proposition of completing the task alone was met with raised voices.

Zoya was the first to admonish him, “you’re not going alone, you’ll barely make it past the first three Fjerdans.”

“What other choice do I have? We need to end this battle before we’re overwhelmed.”

“Oh, your plan is fine,” she said, glaring at him, “you’re just not going alone.”

“I can’t risk--” “You’re not risking anything,” she shrugged, “if you die, then the rest of us will probably end up dead too, and I’m sure as hell not letting you die alone on the battlefield. You don’t have a choice, I’m coming either way.” “I can’t let you--” “I’m coming with you, brother.” Tolya objected. “If you’re going, then I’m going too,” Tamar cried out, but her twin gripped her shoulder. “We can’t all die today. Genya and David need you. Nadia needs you. We will be back before you know it.” Her eyes flashed, “if you’re not at the top of the ridge in 20 minutes, we’re all coming after you.” “Fine,” Nikolai said, squeezing her other shoulder, “we’ll give you the signal from the top. He nodded to David, squeezed Genya in a quick hug, “let’s go.” Slipping through the gap in the defenses at the edge of the battlefield was easy enough, but working their way through the remaining number of Fjerdans, though there were fewer than at other points in the formation, was proving to be an issue. Tolya moved through the crowd with one hand exercising his Heartrender’s capabilities, the other tight around the hilt of a massive sword. Zoya was a force to be reckoned with, her new abilities to access all Grisha orders allowed her to summon multiple elements in quick succession, bright lightning seemed to be wreathing her every movement. Nikolai was managing well enough on his own, his pistols were in constant motion, preventing more soldiers from reaching them. He began to walk backwards, facing Zoya as she moved forward, checking her back and preventing anyone from following them.

Zoya suddenly dove, and for a second he thought she was trying to impale him, only to hear a thud from behind him, she’d taken out an assailant he hadn’t seen. She was standing a breath away from him, her chest heaving and her eyes alight with a cackling energy. He hoped it was out of adrenaline and not because she was about to decapitate him. If that was the case, it would make his next words very awkward. She pulled back and turned away, but Nikolai’s hand shot out and grasped her arm. “Zoya!” he yelled over the clamour of the fight, “will you marry me?” She stared at him openmouthedly, whirling around to parry an oncoming sword, “Nikolai, now is not the time!” He turned, shooting at two figures behind her back, “now may be the only time!”

Momentum from his movements pushed him forward and then they were grasping each others’ forearms, “I love you,” he whispered, before turning to disarm a figure from the corner of his eye. They fell back into one another, “I know what I want Zoya, do you?”

Zoya struck someone down behind his shoulder, the use of her powers causing her hair to lift in the wind, highlighted by the blue electricity. She glowered at him for a second, before hitting his chest with her fist, “Tolya! Marry us!” Nikolai grinned, brushing his fingers against her perfect face for a brief moment before kicking someone in the chest, sending them flying. “I’m a little busy at the moment,” the man roared, tossing someone into an oncoming group like the world’s most ruthless game of bowling. “Tolya, now!” Nikolai yelled. “Fine then!” He clenched his fist and a whole cluster of Fjerdans fell to their knees. Nikolai reached out, drawing Zoya in by the waist as they continued moving through the Fjerdans. She glanced up at him and Nikolai found himself near giddy at the understanding of what they were about to do. They may only have a few moments left in this world and he wanted to spend those moments by her side, as her husband, something he had never dreamed would be possible. He wanted the rightful Queen of Ravka at his side for as long as she would have him, whether it was on the battlefield, at a state function, or as it looked more likely by the second, buried beneath the earth.

“Friends, or lack thereof, we’re gathered here today to witness the union of the two people in Ravka with the worst timing.” Zoya turned from his grasp, flipping a Fjerdan over her shoulder before taking his hands in hers, her ferocious eyes trained on his. Nikolai tucked her hair behind her ear, “Zoya Nazyalensky, do you take me to be your husband, your king, your demon fool?” He had never seen such visible excitement on her face as when she replied, “I do.” “Fantastic,” Nikolai hummed, ducking down as she blasted someone back with a scorching flame. With their hands still joined, they pulled apart, Nikolai drawing his own sword from its scabbard and slashing mirthlessly, the mirror of Zoya’s ruthless movements behind him. “Nikolai Lantsov,” she turned her head back to look at him. “Do you take me,” they were facing now, as if they were bound in some sort of strange dance for which no one else could hear the music to. “To be your wife?” Nikolai twirled her under his arm, “in sickness and in health? With health looking less and less likely by the second?” Zoya ducked an oncoming blade, falling against him, and he wrapped his arm around her, taking out another assailant with a pistol. “I do.” He said against her hair, holding onto her as she used a gust of wind to propel them towards the base of the ridge where Tolya had reached. “I now pronounce you king and queen,” Tolya grunted, but he was smiling. “You may kiss, though I advise against it until we’re in the clear.” Nikolai dipped Zoya down but before he could do as Tolya said, he felt a prickle on the back of his neck, yanking her up and she launched herself at an approaching warrior. “You may kiss,” Tolya yelled again, knocking out another group of Fjerdans. Nikolai spun, taking out a few stray soldiers behind both Tolya and Zoya before taking her hand in his and pulling her back towards the ridge. “Just kiss!” Tolya said. Nikolai pulled her into his embrace, relishing the way her arms wrapped around him as he finally, finally kissed Zoya, the press of her mouth against his nothing short of electric.

They broke away all too quickly, the trio scrambling to the top of the ridge, occasionally blasting back those who tried to follow them. At the top of the hill, Tolya unloaded the pack full of Genya’s potion as Zoya rubbed her palms together in tight circles, the scent of a storm descending upon them. “Are you ready?” “Don’t have much of a choice,” Zoya huffed, her eyes shut tight as thunder rolled over the field, “my husband’s stupid plan better work.” “I don’t know if I should be worried more about you or the Fjerdans if this doesn’t work out.” “Me,” she said, her eyes flying open, flashing silver, dragon’s eyes, “always me.” Nikolai backed up, winding his arm up as Tolya did the same launching canister after canister into Zoya’s awaiting gust of wind. He called out direction, telling her where to aim and he could see the sweat breaking across her brow as she maintained the storm and controlled its wind.

When the last of the potion was dispersed, Zoya stumbled backwards into him, sinking to the ground as they watched the people below fall into unconsciousness. “If we make it back to the capital, I want a ring,” she whispered. “When we make it back to the capital, I will give you much more than a ring,” Nikolai laughed, seeing the blush rise in her cheeks. She squeezed his hand tightly, letting out a soft exhale of exhaustion. A flurry of movement caught his eye from below, the flapping of a white flag from the Fjerdans, the sight releasing an audible sigh from Nikolai’s chest. They had done it. Zoya turned to him, her head still resting against his shoulder, “we did it… we won?” “Don’t sound so surprised,” Nikolai teased, smothering a grin as she got up on her toes, bringing his mouth to hers. Once again, the moment was cut far too short when Tolya pulled them both into a bone crushing hug, refusing to let go until Nikolai reminded him that Tamar would kill him for not coming back down as soon as possible. They limped back to the battlefield with Tolya taking the lead, Nikolai with his arm around his General’s waist as she leaned into him, her arm around his neck. They helped up soldiers as they went, Nikolai clapping hands and thanking them, until they finally managed to make it back to their friends. He knew there would be terms of settlement and a million other things to discuss in the coming hours, but for now all he wanted to do was embrace his friends and let the feat they’d managed to achieve sink in. Their friends were bruised and scraped, Tamar had a wicked cut on her forehead, and David had somehow lost a shoe, but they were alive. They were all alive.

“What happened out there?” Genya asked, embracing Zoya, “we lost track of you once you got to their ranks.” ‘We just fought our way through,” he replied, the weight of Zoya against him felt unimaginable, but he refused to let her go. Not that she didn’t seem content where she was, leaning against him just enough that it looked like nothing more than the king supporting his commander. “We fought our way through, knocked out a ridiculous number of Fjerdans, saved the day, and oh yeah, Nikolai and Zoya got married.” “You what?” Genya hissed, turning on them, “you what?” “Looks like David will have to perform an opera naked in the shadow Fold after all,” Zoya shrugged, letting herself fall completely into Nikolai, there was no need to hide from their friends anymore. Nikolai rested his chin on top of her head, taking in the absurdity of the moment. They had won the war, they hadn’t died, and most mind blowing of all, he was married to Zoya, and for once she didn’t seem to be on the verge of throttling him. Was it too early to call today the most ridiculous day of his life? “What?” David said, glancing up at them from the ground in alarm. “You got married without me there?” Genya shook Zoya’s shoulders. “It was very spur of the moment,” Nikolai offered, “we thought we were about to die.”

“Do shut up, your highness. You really thought I hadn’t noticed you asking to access your mother’s old sapphire tiaras, looking for a stone to make a ring with? This was anything but a spur of the moment plan.” Zoya raised a brow, “interesting.”

“Is it really?” Nikolai winced, scrubbing a hand through his hair as the rest of the group turned to him, demanding answers while his queen curled up into his side, her knowing smirk making the barrage of questions that much easier to face.

[aderiex]

Last minute ~ Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Pairing: Reader x Aaron hotcher

Summary: Y/N goes into labour while Aaron is working a case

Warnings: Idk, no smut, just soft hotch and pregnancy 

You had been witch Aaron Hotchner, for a little over 4 years now. You had gotten married just last year and now you both worked in the BAU. Aaron was unit chief, and you were one of his agents, around 8 months ago you and Aaron had found out you were expecting. You were in your third trimester, wearing loose clothing and trying your best to still attend work. Aaron had gotten very protective over you and the baby, making sure no one hurt you. He was still trying to convince you to take mat leave, but you refused, wanting to be in the office with everyone. But finally, there came a time where you couldn’t work, you were too big and tired. Aaron took that time to take you home and tell you to get some rest, you now sat at home. It was quite boring. When Jack was at school and Aaron was at work, you had nothing to do, you cleaned the house, packed your hospital bag, and made lunches and dinner. But you mostly slept, every day, small naps around the house.

Every day Aaron called you to check in around lunch, made sure you had your hospital bag packed and knew what the plan was. But you never expected it when it actually happened.

It was around 1am, Aaron was across the country for a case when you felt your water brake. You were still groggy from your sleep but when you felt the water underneath you and running down your leg, you knew. You immediately picked up the phone and called your neighbour, he was the one that was going to drive you to the hospital if Aaron couldn’t, that had been the plan. You called three times but no answer, he was asleep, it was the middle of the night after all. You felt a sharp, sore pain in your abdomen and knew you needed to get to the hospital now. You had no time to wait for someone to drive you, so you ran downstairs, grabbed your keys with your bag, and got in the car. The pain was getting worse as you drove, but the hospital wasn’t far, as you sped up. You were able to pull into the parking lot and barely put the car in park before rushing into the emergency rom. “Ma’am, is everything alright?” The woman at the desk asked you, your breathing was heavy, “I-I think I’m going into labour.” You said, panicked. The woman shot up from her chair and directed you into the maternity ward, paging doctors and nurses to your room. “Please, I- I need to call my husband.” You begged out; the nurse looked at you with pity. “Lay down ma’am, we can call him. What is his name?” You panted, “Aaron Hotchner, he’s with the FBI. Please…” You breathed, the nurse nodded and went off.

Aaron was sleeping when he got the call, he woke up, his voice groggy. “Hotchner.” He answered the phone, “What?” he asked, finally able to wake up. “How long ago?” he sat up, pulling on a pair of pants, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up and rushed around the room, packing all of his things, and throwing on a jacket as he rushed down the hall to Rossi’s room. He knocked frantically and Rossi answered, squinting. “Hotch?” he asked sleepily. “Y/n is in labour; I need to go back to Quantico now.” He said, panic in his eyes, Rossi nodded. “Go, we’ll be okay.” Aaron nodded and rushed out of the hotel, making it to the airport in under 20 minutes. The plane was there waiting thanks to a call from Rossi, and they were off the ground in minutes. The flight back seemed to take forever; Aaron sat anxiously as the pilot flew them back. Aaron kept checking his phone for a text from you but nothing yet. He bounced his leg anxiously and put his head in his hands.

You lay in your room, it was now 4am, the doctor was telling you, you need to get ready to push. “No, I won’t do it without him here, please just get my husband.” You begged; the doctor frowned. “We can wait another hour maybe but not any longer, it can affect the baby’s health.” He said, you nodded, “Thank you.”

50 minutes went by, the doctor was waiting by the end of your bed. “Ma’am, we need to get ready.” The doctor said sadly, you felt tears prick at the sides of your eyes from the pain and emotion. You nodded sadly and he sat you up, preparing to put the epidural in. “My wife, my wife she’s going into labour!” you heard Aaron’s voice from down the hallway, you smiled slightly. He burst through the door, panting and grabbed your hand, kissing your forehead. “I’m so sorry love, I got here as fast as I could.” He breathed out, “Just in time, please pull up a chair, we are just putting the epidural in and then we’ll get started.” The doctor said.

It had been 3 hours, the pain was unbearable, you could feel sweat dripping down your face as you winced in pain. Aaron was holding your hand, letting you squeeze his hand to ease your discomfort. “You’re doing great babe, come on keep pushing.” He was encouraging you, wiping the sweat off your eyebrow. You were biting your lip to hold in the screams of pain, shallow breaths escaped you as the pain ripped through you, you could feel Aaron’s hand in your as you squeezed until your knuckles turned white.

“C’mon momma, one more big push, he’s almost here.” The doctor encouraged. You winced as you made that final push. You heard the baby’s cries, it brought tears to your eyes. “You did it.” The nurse said, grabbing your hand. “Dad, would you like to cut the cord?” The nurse asked, Aaron took the scissors, hands steady and helped cut the umbilical cord. Before you knew it your warm, pink baby was being placed in your arms. You looked down at him, slight cries escaped his lips for the first few seconds before you held him close, and he quieted down. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, his small face, and cute little hands. Aaron rested a hand on your shoulder and smiled down at you, “That’s our baby.” He laughed out nervously. You looked up at him and he leaned down for a kiss.

It was a few hours later, Aaron was asleep on the couch across from your bed, laying peacefully. You lay feeding your baby, all was quiet.

A slight knock at your door caught your attention, it was the team. Garcia was the first by your side, grinning and cooing down at the baby. Morgan and Rossi joined up on the other side and JJ and Emily were the last to come into the room. JJ looked down at you and smiled, “It’s a hell of a time, isn’t it?” She asked with a laugh, you smiled and nodded. You put your finger up to your lips to signal everyone to stay quiet as to not wake up Hotch as he continued sleeping peacefully. Morgan wanted to hold him right away, he was swaddled in a blanket, and you gently handed him to Morgan, making sure he supported his head properly. The whole team had a chance to hold the baby before it came to Reid. He took the baby so hesitantly, he looked down, as if he weren’t sure what to do before he slowly started rocking the baby, the baby cooed and gurgled happily in his arms.

Hotch opened his eyes at the noise of his baby boy, he saw the team and stood up with a small nod toward Rossi, “Thank you for letting me come back.” He smiled; Rossi smiled back “I wouldn’t let you miss this.” They both turned and watch you and the team laughing and joking around as Reid cradled the baby.

Word Count: 1.3k

[anothertimdrakestan]

Kissing The YJ Boys In The Rain HC

part one w the batboys!

you guys loved the batfam and req'd yj boys so here they are!!! also i wrote this at 1am so if it's rough let me have it. i hope y'all enjoy hehehe!!!

Wally West:

- out on a date with wally you tend to lose track of time, and this happened again when you were both sat in a 24hour cafe joking and flirting over various desserts when you finally remembered to check the clock, almost 20 minutes past the time you needed to be home

- as you chided yourself for again having to much fun wally paid for the food and the two of you sped to your home

- as soon as he was stopped you were waving goodbye and rushing towards your door when another flash of yellow zipped in front of you

- "goodbye kiss?" he asked with puppy dog eyes while you shook your head

- "wally i'm late, it's raining, and i can kiss you whoever i want" you answered, but he didn't like it

- in less than a second you were pulled into his embrace while you rolled your eyes into the kiss, quickly shutting them when his hand tilted your chin up to deepen the kiss you almost melted into the moment when you remembered the time

- pulling away you scrunched your nose at wally who stole one last speedy peck before winking and speeding off, leaving you standing at your doorstep, lips swollen, hair wet, and heart full. plus, in your hands was one of his sweatshirts with a little note saying "in exchange for the cold and rainy kiss, yours always, the sexiest man alive"

Conner Kent:

- i can't explain why, but i just know that a kiss in the rain with conner is an apology kiss, hear me out:

- mad at him for being overprotective and hiding the truth from you, you were sat at your window watching the rain fall trying to curse his name but realizing how much you needed, and above all loved him, like no one else

- completely zoned out you were shocked into reality by a familiar knock on your window

- opening it up a soggy superboy flew in, even soaked he looked rugged and handsome but it was his apologetic look that drew you in first

- "y/n i'm so sorry. you were right i should've told you because you're my person, the one person on this planet who i can go to for anything and i should've known that- i do know that now and i just hope you'll take me back and accept my apology- OOMPH"

- you cut him off by flinging your arms around him, just happy he realized what was wrong and apologized like a functioning being

- when your lips connected to his you could feel him smiling into the kiss, little droplets of water from his hair dropped into your face while you open window let in more raindrops to try to soak you, but it didn't matter when you finally had the love of your life back in your arms

- you got a cold from it, but the kiss was worth it because your kids are gonna love the epic rain kiss story that gets more dramatic every time you retell it ;)

Gar Logan:

- on a day out with gar you guys decided to go for a hike to get away from the city and life itself and just be the two of you authentically together

- the day was filled with laughter and teasing and smiles and ended perfectly resting on a hilly part of the hike where you could see the city skyline

- when it started to rain gar pouted and offered to take you home all sad that the date was ruined

- "the rain isn't so bad when i've got you to warm me up babe" you teased, letting your eyes flit down to his lips when he got the message

- "noted babe, lemme help warm you up!" he winked with a toothy grin leaning in as his lips connected with yours

- kissing gar makes the world melt away, the only feeling you can register is his lips meshing against yours and his eyelashes lightlying brushing your cheek when he leans a certain way, the sensation of kissing gar erases any cold or wetness as you're completely enveloped in his warmth

Bart Allen:

- it had been the worst week ever, bart had left for a mission with the team and was supposed to be back 3 days ago but their unit hadn't been heard from and you were a nervous wreck checking your phone every two seconds bart had about 20 messages from you begging him to reply while you tried to go about your day

- until robin called you while you out trying to clear your head "y/n! you'll never believe it but they're all safe and fine and-"

- "ya miss me?" you whipped around, and there with his arm in a cast and a swollen eye was bart allen, in a millisecond he was hugging you as tight as he could, you finally let go of the breath it felt like you'd been holding in for days at the smell of his shampoo and the familiar feeling of wrapping your arms around him

- it was a sight to see really, two people embracing in the middle of the street while the rain started to fall, holding each other for what might've seemed like uncomfortably long but for the two of you wasn't even close to long enough

- pulling apart you checked on his injuries even knowing he'd heal fine due to speedster abilities you wanted to know what he'd been up against. you met his green eyes again with a grin "of course i missed you dork i was terrified" you glared at him pretending to be upset

- "i mean duh i knew that doncha think i listened to all your messages on the way over here? i think the cutest one was when you-"

- "oh my god shut up and kiss me idiot" you cut him off, clutching either side of his shirt while you crashed his lips onto yours, finally feeling at home knowing your other half was now safe, revvilling in the feeling of his lips against yours for the first time in what felt like forever

- with a content sigh you took his good hand in yours and began to lead him home. "tell me what happened?" "totally babe! it was so crash- well until they totally moded my arm but them jaime did this cool thing-"

- yeah. it was good to have your boy back :)

i hope you liked it! tell me who ur fav was! ily!

[krappykawa]

I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon

with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)

— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi

word count. 1.4k

genre. fluff

note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!

part one here

IWAIZUMI.

- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)

- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you

- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though

- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in

- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”

- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??

- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles

- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions

- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,

- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working

- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch

- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches

- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)

- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween

- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though

- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)

- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”

- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)

- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)

OIKAWA.

- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does

- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again

- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace

- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions

- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)

- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them

- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”

- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”

- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back

- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)

- he is also a huge cuddler

- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny

- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”

- big pouty face

- it works every single time and you hate him for it

- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes

- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment

- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)

- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back

TERUSHIMA.

- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever

- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read

- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books

- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try

- he loves it

- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him

- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)

- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it

- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)

- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”

- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)

- cuddling with him while reading will never happen

- seriously

- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down

- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you

- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol

- he doesn’t put you down for reading though

- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it’s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment

DAICHI.

- admires you for reading honestly

- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life

- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you

- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)

- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours

- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself

- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)

- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)

- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM

- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”

- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive

- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together

- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read

- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute

AKAASHI.

- THIS LITTLE SHIT

- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books

- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”

- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other

- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)

- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”

- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him

- he stares right back

- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)

- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH

- it’s uncommon but it does happen

- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)

- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath

- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute

- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)

- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh

- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated

- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard

[puppetsoftomorrow]

the avalance news reader au

hey who said peer pressure doesn't work. anyway i made this post and y'all seemed to like it so here we go!! might post to ao3 later on idk...

It had been a truly terrible day.

Ava considered, in the moment that her coffee machine spluttered coughed up coffee grounds over her last clean shirt, that maybe she'd just had a truly terrible year. All her dreams about finally moving to television after being stuck in the doldrums of local news media for six years had been slashed when she'd been placed on the graveyard shift - sure, Ava was finally reading the news, but her shift was from 1AM until 4AM, so her only audience was long-distance truck drivers and new parents.

Still, she persevered, with the slightly foolish belief that if she worked hard enough, she could be promoted to a primetime slot. Or at least a slot that didn't require her to be making coffee at 10:45PM.

Her day had started off badly - she'd barely slept, as the sound from the construction work three blocks away rattled her windows, and she’d woken to find that her cat, Merlin, had kicked his litter halfway across the house in a fit of pique. Ava couldn't even have her normal oatmeal, as she was out of oat milk, and now she was having to drink her coffee black.

After changing her shirt to a dark dress and grimacing as she choked down the coffee, there was a knock on the door, and Ava groaned as she realised she was running late.

"Hey, Sara." She sighed.

Sara stood in the doorway, hair wavy over her shoulders, hands shoved in the pockets of her hoodie - the same grey hoodie she wore every day, branded with their news station's logo.

"Woah, a dress?" Sara said, eyebrows raised appreciatively, as Ava grabbed her coat and bag and they moved to go down the stairs.

"Don't mention it." Ava grumbled, pulling the coat around her shoulders.

"It looks good on you." Sara said, and Ava shot her a look. Sara mimed zipping her lips. "Do we have to time for Starbucks? I had to have black coffee; my mouth tastes like something died in it." Ava muttered, and Sara shrugged.

"I mean, we've arrived half an hour early for every shift for the past year -"

"Do you want to go back to taking the bus?" Ava said, looking over at her as they reached the lobby. They'd discovered they lived in the same building almost accidentally in Ava's first week, awkwardly meeting across the hall in the early morning, until Sara had realised that Ava had a car and they'd started riding in together.

"Fine, if you're happy with having bad angles." Sara said, holding the door open for her, and Ava rolled her eyes.

"Are you saying I have bad angles?"

"Oh, I'll find one." Sara muttered, and Ava snorted with laughter and unlocked the car. One of the benefits to giving her camera operator a ride every day was always having excellent angles.

After a stop at Starbucks, Ava rolled along the dark, quiet roads, sighing deeply.

"What's up?" Sara asked, sipping her drink - black coffee, which she somehow enjoyed.

"Nothing." Ava muttered, but it only took one look at Sara for her to come out with the story of her crappy day. Sara laughed.

"So that's why you're wearing the dress."

"That's what you're focusing on?" Ava said, focusing on the road with a small smile on her face. "I have to go back to my apartment at 5AM and clean up kitty litter and coffee grounds."

"Not to mention getting coffee out of your shirt." Sara snorted, and Ava groaned, loud and over the top.

///

They always split when they got to the studio, Ava marching off to make-up to get ready, and Sara taking the elevator to the studio floor to set up her camera. The studio was always dead past midnight, just a skeleton crew left, which Sara found she enjoyed - it was easier to know everyone that way. She waved at Nate, distracting him from where he was running through the weather, muttering under his breath and checking his perfectly coiffed hair in the camera. He waved back, a bright smile on his face.

Careful not to trip over any of the wires on the floor, Sara made her way up to the box above the studio, the cramped room filled from head to toe with blinking lights and buttons, with a large window so they could look down on the studio. The techs – Behrad and Charlie - were sat with headphones on, running through sound checks, so Sara just waved to them as she found who she was looking for.

Zari, the studio runner, was running through her clipboard, muttering under her breath. When she saw Sara coming, she rolled her eyes. "Back again?"

"What have you got for her today?" Sara asked, keeping her voice nonchalant.

"The usual. Some city councilor has been embezzling funds, Star City is readying to bid for the 2028 Olympics, and former mayor Queen is opening a patisserie down-town. It's been a quiet week."

"Exactly." Sara said, her grin widening. "You've got to add the cat one."

Ray, their head writer, had found a story a week ago about a fat cat attending the Star City pet spa to lose weight, and Sara had been tracking down clips of the poor thing, bribing the editor, Nora, to pull them together. She'd even written a script. Zari looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Seriously?"

"Yes! I have a bet going with Mick - if I can get Ava to break on camera by the end of the month, he's got to give me $50." Sara said. It was ridiculous, she'd started the bet - truthfully, she found it endearing how Ava read the news with the same abject sternness whether she was covering a political scandal or a dog who'd learnt to surf in Star City Bay. She'd only broken her composure once - a smile creeping on her face when reporting on the 5th birthday of a crocodile at Star City Zoo named Snaps. From that day on, Sara had vowed to make her laugh, properly, live on air.

"I don't have any time to make up." Zari said, and Sara sighed.

"Yeah, but you know Ava reads quick enough. Please? For me?"

Zari seemed immune to the puppy eyes, so Sara sighed. "And I'll give you $20."

Zari snorted. "Do you have $20?"

"I'll have $50 when I win the bet." Sara countered, and Zari sighed.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Z, you're the best." Sara said with a grin, and turned to return to the studio floor.

///

The program went smoothly, like always. Sara liked her job, the focus of filming and the pride she got when she saw her own work on TV, but she liked it better when she was filming Ava, who had pretty much insisted from day one that Sara be her primary operator.

Ava looked especially pretty today, someone in make-up evidently having convinced her that she didn't need the bun today, and instead curled her hair over both shoulders, which didn't completely cover Ava's defined arms, visible in her sleeveless dress.

The night ran the same as most others, Ava transitioning smoothly between topics and engaging in light, courteous banter with Nate before he presented the weather. Sara looked at Ava during these moments, the five minutes she was off camera, where she looked down at her notes, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

Okay, so maybe Sara wanted to make Ava laugh because she looked so pretty doing it. Sue her.

They were coming near the end, and Sara was losing hope that the story would be included, until she heard the segue.

"Now, in lighter news," Ava started, her eyebrows suddenly shooting up as she read the prompter. Sara grinned; Zari had obviously left this out of Ava's notes to inspire more of a reaction.

"Cats," Ava blurted out, steadying herself before continuing, "they're not normally known for their love of swimming, but one feline in Star City is hitting the water instead of the gym in a bid to lose weight. Mr. Snuggles -" Ava bit her lip as the pictures played on the monitor - a black and white cat in a life vest, looking absolutely terrified, and Sara grinned. "Mr. Snuggles is a thirteen-year-old cat who - dislikes the outdoors and other physical activities."

Sara's grin widened as Ava lost it, barely making it through her lines through her giggles. Her face was flushing pink and she bit her lip to try and compose herself. "But with encouragement from his owner -" Ava pressed on, trying to hold herself together, "Mr. Snuggles had lost one pound in six months."

That was the final straw, as Ava descended into a full-on laugh, barely making it through her sign off. Sara was so distracted by the sound she nearly missed Zari's voice in her ear. "Camera 1 to Camera 3 in 3, 2, 1 -"

Sara switched off, but not before Ava snorted, flushing even deeper and covering her face with her hands at the sound, not disguised by the jingle from the lottery numbers playing across the screen.

///

Ava had bolted from the set, and Sara packed up her equipment as quickly as possible, ducking out just in time to catch Ava as she walked down the corridor to the lobby. Her face was now free of make-up, her hair tied up in a messy bun, but she was still in the dress that left Sara's mouth a little dry. She looked at Sara, blushing again.

"I can't believe you did that." She groaned, and Sara put on her most innocent face on.

"Did what?"

"Bribed Zari to put the cat story in! John in make-up said that Charlie had told him that you'd bribed Zari."

"To win $50!" Sara said, grinning. "And you have a really cute laugh."

Ava looked up; eyebrow furrowed. "Really?"

"Yep." Sara said, trying to play it cool. "Look, do you want half? I feel bad now."

Ava sighed. "No, it's okay."

"I could buy you dinner." Sara said, almost blurting it out, and Ava looked at her. "To make up for it."

Ava's mouth quirked up in a smile. "Uh - yeah, okay. I can do dinner."

~the end~

okay so this was fun to write and i kind of want to write more so uhh send me where u think this story should go. or ideas for a part 2 maybe. thanks for reading!!

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

An explanation of recent events

Hi all. I am posting a timeline of the recent events that have ended up with me inviting some of the mods I trust from @advicetotraumasurvivors to this blog. It is incomplete; as of this posting (4pm CST, August 23, 2021), nobody has admitted any wrongdoing, but I know a lot of you aren't really sure what happened at all. I apologize in advance for the verb tense shift midway through. I unfortunately don't have the spoons to edit it.

Hayden does not plan to stay with the blog. Olive plans to stay at least for now. I will likely stay. I'm not sure about Henrie or Berry at the moment. Those are the only mods that currently have access to this blog. (Edit from Mod Henrie: I’ll be staying.)

The timeline will be under the cut as it is fairly long. All times are in Central Standard Time.

Around 5:30pm CST last night, April messaged the Discord telling us she was leaving the blog. She left both the Discord and the blog shortly thereafter. We got some anons asking about why she'd left and I directed those towards her @traumasurvivors blog because I didn't feel comfortable trying to speak for her, One of them felt my answers was dismissive. That anon ended up being a mod in the Discord who was triggered by my tone. We received more asks from them, one passive-aggressive and one outright guilt-trippy.

At 7:30pm CST Henrie made an announcement that everyone who participates in the blog is a volunteer. Several mods offered in the Discord to mediate since the mod who was upset didn't feel comfortable addressing the issue with me directly.

Around 9:00pm CST we started getting some positive messages to the blog. I started to think maybe the situation had blown over. I tried to answer one of the positive anons. Tumblr gave me an error code.

We discovered the upset mod had deleted all of our inbox messages.

At 9:30pm CST Berry noticed posts were disappearing from our blog. I had noticed some weren't showing up for me, but because Tumblr is a Hellsite I figured they were there and it was just a glitch. Even the pinned post got deleted.

I panicked and asked what if the Carrd got deleted. Unfortunately, whoever the mod was, saw that and changed the email and password to the Carrd.

At 9:36pm I started adding Henrie, Hayden, Berry, and Olive to this side blog. This ended up taking several hours because we were all disoriented and triggered pretty badly by then.

At 9:45 pm I noticed they deleted my mod tag. We kept trying to encourage them to stop. Henrie reblogged all the asks that were still there to their personal in case they got deleted.

At 9:55pm I left the server and asked Berry to invite me to the new one they said they'd make so the handful of us could discuss the situation while feeling a bit more safe. There's a gap of about 20 minutes in the timeline here but I'm not sure anything super important happened during it.

Olive rescues most of the info from the Carrd by 10:21pm. April offers to transcribe the pinned post that I managed to screenshot on my phone.

Hayden makes a post around this time saying we've moved URLs. The upset mod deletes it.

I ask April if she will write down the URLs of all of our followers on advicetotraumasurvivors and send asks to them one by one to let them know what's going on. An extremely inefficient method, but at this point I'm at a loss. Henrie starts sending the asks to our followers. April finishes transcribing the pinned post at about 10:30.

At this point I have taken my sleep med and am losing reading comprehension rapidly. I say I'm going to bed but end up not sleeping until something like 4am.

At 10:31 Olive discovers that the upset mod has password-protected the blog. Henrie copy pastes the only ask in the inbox. It came in after the others were deleted.

At 11pm Olive announces she has a download/export of the blog in progress to hopefully preserve some of the posts and information on it. I ask April to boost the new URL. Henrie asks Tumblr's customer service system about uploading the file to the new blog.

At 11:10 Berry notices the queue is being messed with. Several mods go back and forth with the saboteur mod changing how often the queue posts. I suggest that we reblog ask games to the new blog so people can get to know us better once this all dies down.

At 11:21 Hayden announces the blog title has been changed to DON'T TALK TO US. A few minutes later Olive says some extremely tasteless tags are being added to queued posts, including the r slur and the n word. We won't go to any more detail about any of the other things that were said because they were extremely triggering, but we are deeply sorry to any followers (and mods) that may have seen those tags.

11: 38pm: Henrie makes posts on both blogs saying it's not us typing these awful things and to block advicetotraumasurvivors.

11:40pm: We decide to delete all the posts on the blog and the whole queue. April starts mass deleting.

11:53pm: I screenshot all the asks in the drafts. We delete all the drafts. The upset mod continues to change the blog title to triggering and inflammatory things.

1am today (Monday): Henrie asks if it's okay to announce to the original server that we moved discords and blogs. I ask if we can avoid adding people to the new discord until we know who the mod is that's upset. We eventually agree to hold off on adding people into the new discord.

2:44am: April gets an anon apologizing for their poor/inflammatory actions on her traumasurvivors blog and posts a response separate from the ask. We wait, hoping that the anon will message April.

3am: We get a similar apology on the new blog. It gets screenshotted and sent the new Discord so everyone can see it. I delete the ask from the inbox with everyone's permission because it feels very guilt trippy to me.

3:23 April gets more anons blaming her for the situation spiraling out of control, presumably from the upset mod.

12:22pm: April has more anons when we all wake up. All of us in the new server agree that we're tired and just want the situation resolved. No one comes forward.

Edit from mod Henrie: This is a timeline of all of the “major events”, but it doesn’t convey how frantic we all were. We were all feverishly working on deleting triggering tags/deleting posts/trying to find out who was doing this/etc. in between each of these times. It was chaotic and messy and incredibly exhausting for everyone involved.

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Getting Over You by Lauv

Summary: Unexpected things happen all the time but meeting him was one of the best parts of it.

Pairings: Atsumu Miya x gn!reader

Word count: 7.1k

Tags, Genre: implied enemies to semi lovers! trope, slight angst, curse words, timeskip! Atsumu

A/N: pls i didn't intend to change it last minute but pls let me know if u liked it cuz im still having second thoughts <3

“No- I’m sorry.” Atsumu says as you felt your heart snap and break into two distant pieces. You already limited your expectations but there was a miniature amount of hope that you held onto and that was when you should’ve lost your grip.

“It’s fine, ‘Tsumu.”

It obviously wasn’t. No matter how loud the cries of your heart were, what mattered to you in this moment was to forget it ever happened- to run away and never face another failed trial of love. Atsumu can see past your smile and he hated the way it had to end in a way he avoided. There would be a time where his feelings would be up to confrontation but when it finally happened, he’d became a coward.

He was late to realize what the outcomes could lead to. How certain was he that your paths would meet again? How was he sure that he can revert this scenario in a better way that he wanted when you were losing your hold onto him?

“I have to go but it was nice knowing you, Miya.” Your lips were tugged in a weak smile while he questions why his body lacked the power to move but what resumes to play in his mind was the way his name escaped your lips like it was a curse to say it.

Turning your heel, there was an ache in Atsumu’s head. Was it regret? His decisions tied in knots? His emotions unable to declutter themselves? Hesitantly, he reaches for you. His hand wrapped around yours as you glanced down on his soft skin you used to despise to get near to.

His eyes told you stories that were hard to decipher all at once. His stories didn’t start with a setting, it started and ended with you, not a single page where you weren’t there but it seems like the chapters you had in your own story were being torn off to erase the traces of false hope.

“Y/N, I'm so sorry.” He whispers while you felt his hand tighten to make sure that you could stay- even if it lasted for a minute because he wasn’t sure fate could spare you two another moment.

But then, you softly removed his hold on you while the cold sweat runs down his forehead.

“It’s okay, ‘Tsumu. We were just never meant for each other.”

We could’ve been.

-

“Thank you for your time.” You bid the player as both bow each other as a way of manner. You gathered your bag as the athlete turns to you with a kind smile.

“I enjoyed the interview. I’m impressed at how prepared and professional you are. How long have you been doing this?” He asks, adjusting his outfit while you toss your bag on your shoulder with your camera slung around your neck.

“There was a journalism club back in my high school and I joined in ever since I was a first year.”

“You’re in college now?”

“Yes, sir.” He chuckles at your formality while he gives a pat to your shoulder.

“That’s good to hear. Goodluck with everything- I believe that you’ve got bright things ahead of you.” Your heart fluttered at the compliment while you bid your goodbyes. You step out of the hotel feeling the satisfaction hit you like a prize. The report can finally be simplified into a few more subtle fixes and maybe by 1am, you’d be able to present it to your professor without doubting your work.

Sighing happily, you decided to reward yourself to a lovely lunch with a view you often visited due to a reminiscent feeling that bubbles in your system. After ordering, you sat outside admiring the way the sun sets and leaves a lasting beauty before the moon shows.

The stress was fading from you. You had expected that the project would’ve taken weeks for you to finish knowing that some retired athletes usually avoid questions to why they left the sport they used to love. You had called a few, a struck of confidence was enough to make you do so but they often cancel your request because they either paid attention to your young age or because they weren’t ready to be asked such personal questions about them. You were lucky to score and interview with a well-known athlete whose had his fair share of the spotlight during his early 20’s. Sadly, his retirement was due to an accident and his weak body levels couldn’t bare the adrenaline of the sport. He was kind, patient, and understanding. Ever since he agreed, your attention was on the questions you’d lay upon him seeing that this was an opportunity you can’t waste. After gathering some of his past glories, you narrowed down your interrogation on what remains important to benefit the topic of your project. You were more than proud because of the compliment he had given you and the fact that you might be able to catch a break after a hectic week.

Opening your camera and flicking through the photos to decide on which you were going to use. Suddenly, a photo meets your sight. The peak of blonde and gray hair with a uniform that you missed.

The Inarizaki Volleyball Team.

Most especially, him.

A few years has passed since you’ve seen him and his brother. Osamu’s last interaction with you was filled with nothing but sweet memories and a hug that you could never forget the warmth of, while Atsumu’s last memory with you remained bittersweet- like a sour flavor in his tongue that never left. You tried too hard to forget fragments of your time with him but because of how much work you put yourself through, you lost time to reflect on the moments that didn’t hurt.

Half of your high school life was compressed into confusing parts of your story.

But the chapter that seems to be the most influential part of it, was where you got to meet the blonde who has stomped on your heart.

It was funny to be remembered as a person who had the guts to sneeze during the great Miya setters serve.

“Achoo!”

You immediately cover your face with your handkerchief as your sneeze echoed through the gym making Atsumu’s hand lose its power because he was stunned by the sound, the ball hitting the net instead as he almost hits Aran who was wide eyed that ball went his way. The team could hear Osamu’s ‘uh-oh’ and it was enough for them to know what the setter feels after the unfortunate event.

Atsumu grits his teeth as the other team cheers knowing they got the score while his head jolts to the crowd, aggressively searching for the one who messed up his serve. Even eyeing his fans who got scared by the way he turned his head in their direction.

Meanwhile, you’ve got glares surrounding you as your friend nudges you, letting out an exhale of disbelief that you’ve got death stares.

“We’ll get the next point ‘Tsumu, don’t worry.” Osamu says landing a hand to his brothers' shoulder while Atsumu readies himself for the serve of the opposite team.

“Whatever.”

After that certain match, Atsumu was more than determined to hunt down whoever caused the flunk of his serve. Silly as it is, he’s never heard someone dare to speak during his serve. He’d always let out a hand signal for them to be quiet- let it be known that if someone spoke, he’d be fine with it but a whole sneeze? He’d never let it go, especially when it resonated in his ears.

So, imagine the look on his face when he hears the exact same sound when he was just stopping by his locker.

“Fucking dust.” You said sniffling as you closed the door to your locker, and you were face to face with a wide-eyed Miya Atsumu holding out his finger and pointing it to you, as if he was accusing you of murder.

“It’s you!” He shouts making you raise your eyebrow at him, but the raise of his voice had intimidated you.

“What?” You asked him, not finding a single clue on whatever he was pertaining to.

“You messed up my serve by sneezing.” He says in the tone of ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’ making you lick your lips, a hand to your hip as you looked at him.

“I’m not apologizing for something I can’t control.” You were completely baffled by this man. Sure, you were his classmate, but this was your first year and you barely cared to take notice of all of them, only focusing on your school group that had you busy.

“You could’ve held it for like 2 more seconds at least.” You blinked before letting out a tired exhale as you eye him up and down. The setter of the school's volleyball team, you were aware of that because of how many matches you’ve been dragged to, but he’s never come up to you before.

This was a whole other introduction.

“Miya, right?” You asked him as he steps forward, looking down on you with a sly smirk.

“I guess I’m sorry.”

Atsumu stays silent for a few seconds but returns to his angry pout as he continues to stare at you.

“What’s your name?” Atsumu asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Y/N.”

From thereon, it looked like your life’s plot had spiked up. Atsumu was- you could call it as a miscalculation. Someone so loud and had his ego constantly fed was not someone you would stick around due to your strict schedule of balancing schoolwork and papers from your club. It was like a bump in the road wherein the objects in your car would’ve been juggled around because of the impact- that's what it felt like. Thinking that two years would’ve passed by like a breeze, time slowed down with him. The constant bickering and arguments were embedded in you like a tattoo. The way his cackle would echo through your ears when he’d struck a nerve to you, the way he’d purposely call you nicknames you swore you hated, to the same jokes can be dragged on for hours, and how every fiber of your body promised you’d leave when you’ve had enough.

But promises were always broken.

You stuck around and he did too. Atsumu provided you with his trust and company whenever you needed it. It’s a pleasant experience but it surely wasn’t at its best. What comes with it were headaches and harsh words but having a person who knew you until graduation and stayed was a different reason. He was a familiar, a person who isn’t a call away when you needed it but being in their presence would give you a pinch of comfort.

Maybe the only thing you can thank Atsumu for is getting to know his twin brother.

You accidentally sent a text to Osamu about you panicking about a missing file to be passed the following day and Osamu was up and ready to help you locate it. After finding it, you decided to treat him for being a life saver and he of course, was having the time of his life for the free food- it was also his favorite restaurant at that moment. During this time, you’ve got to talk more about each other. Months pass now Osamu and you were way better friends than you and his brother.

You and Osamus’ bond were the type that was just so serene, hardly any type of judgement when you’d bring up a problem, and all secrets were kept tight.

Osamu was the shoulder you can lean on, while Atsumu’s would shove your head away when you do so.

Your friendship drifted away when Atsumu stabbed your heart with the words “No.” and “I’m sorry.” You hesitated that day, to dial Osamu’s phone the way you used to, but it never happened. Your sobs muffled your voice and if you called him, he’d never understand a word that you’d say.

The opposite is that Osamu would understand everything.

Because you and Atsumu mirrored the same amount of pain.

He’d never seen his brother so- ruined. Atsumu’s thin walls didn’t shield his shouts of sorrow while Osamu withstood every bit of the torture show his brother had. Checking him on the next day, the setter was fast asleep with bags under his eyes and a red nose, clutching onto his pillow so tightly.

Osamu knew that day that the damage has been done and not a single band aid would mend the two shattered hearts.

-

Atsumu strolls to the around looking for a restaurant along with his teammates. The sun has fully set making the streets of Japan light up with how busy and crowded they were. Bokuto and Hinata were busy pointing at stands that had their favorite slabs of meat while Sakusa trails behind them with a mask, wanting to be removed from the push of people. As the eyes of the blonde land on a certain stand with multiple notes stuck onto a board, he smiles fondly. He then sees two kids running with smiles on their lips as they held each other's hand, obviously excited to explore the night.

“Come on, don’t be a wuss.” Atsumu says as you rolled your eyes and thought hard about his hand that was held out in front of you. Atsumu grunts before taking your hand in his before you could even decide properly. You followed his lead as he walked you through the sea of people. You were nervous that he had left practice to accompany you. Observing you from afar, you looked devastated, but you continued the rest of the day with a smile like nothing happened. Seeing that you looked dull talking to Karou, he pulled you away from whatever void of sadness you surrounded yourself in.

“Atsumu shouldn’t you be at practice?” You asked sighing, still with his hand in yours as you stopped by a stand.

“I should be but whatever that Karou did is obviously hurting you, you idiot.” Your eyes widened at his statement and this reaction confirmed his suspicions as anger forms inside of him. What could that boy have done to get you this upset? Did he physically hurt you? Atsumu hated how he cared- it wasn’t his business to meddle with but the frown on your lips was something he wanted to remove from you.

“Thank you.” You muttered as he buys you the same thing he ordered. He sees how you weren’t as colorless as before. The lights of the night brought saturation to your features as his eyes adored every feature of yours.

“It’s nothing.”

“Atsumu-san?” Hinata asks, tapping the boy on the shoulder while the blonde awakens from his escape.

Atsumu looks around once more, seeing that there wasn’t a trace of you, he moves on.

Like he was supposed to do in the first place.

-

“For our new assignment, why don’t we take the vice versa of your last project. Retirement is inescapable but why not find the reason they’d got into the sport. What makes it so exhilarating and unforgettable? That will be our topic this week. I’m giving you a week for interviews, photos, and articles. Video format is more suited for this task. Is that clear?” You all nodded as you wrote down the list of possible athletes to meet, jotting down an outline of some key points to remember.

“A tip for you all: look for the younger generations. It doesn’t matter to me what status the athlete stands in right now, it could be a friend or even a child. What I’m looking for the depths of the details in your research.” The professor stands making all of you bid him goodbye as he walks out of the room. You gathered your notebooks, sighing that you won’t have the time to properly rest- an exam was near right at the submission of your new task. You realized that you needed to sort out the things you were required to do before everything would pile up and get tangled in the short amount of time.

Who should I interview? God, everyone is so busy at this season. You thought. It’s true- you realized that matches were always lined up by this month. You also had classes to attend to and your mind could collapse at any given moment. You were more than worried about organizing your time properly but the feeling that you’d have several sleepless nights haunts you. You wished he could have extended the submission- though it didn’t get any better since after exams you tended to be drained from studying all night.

Going back to your apartment, you decided to put sticky notes all over your wall to help you sort out your priorities. Tomorrow would be Saturday meaning that you’ve done all the works to be passed on Monday and that you had zero meetings or classes. Saturday and Sunday would be divided to work parts, by Monday you should be up and running to work again.

You couldn’t let go of this group. It had given you countless of opportunities- even an offering to be an editor at a well-known magazine agency. You were in queue for the letter, so you decided to continue with the tasks of the group. You were thankful that you got used to the craziness of it all. The ability to multitask, to put the phone down once in a while, managing your time, those were just one of the benefits of getting used to it. The things you hated was that you barely had time for yourself. To lounge and just do nothing never met with what you were doing. You envied how some people from your group would plan some hang outs during a busy week and you always questioned how they managed to do it all without panicking.

You yawned as you felt your stomach growl at the scent of the delicious street food. Seeing that you fell short on money because the amount that was in your wallet was enough for your way home, it meant you’d have to wait to eat dinner until you came home. Letting out a groan you decided to walk your way even if you get shoved. God, you were starving and exhausted. The emotions were starting to fill you the more you moved. It didn’t help that everyone was so loud. You could hear the sound of the cackles from the drunken men in the corner, the cries of the baby that brought irritation to your eardrums and even the off-key singing of a (possibly) drunk girl at karaoke. You just wanted to cover your ears and crawl back to your bed not caring if you’d only be able to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep.

As you walked, you felt a boiling pile of liquid drip to your stomach making you let out a yelp as your clothes were drenched in the coffee stain that you despised. The liquid got to your skin making you wince at just how it impacted on your skin. You felt your eyes water as the woman tried to pat away the drink but instead made it worse because you wanted the fabric to be away from you as possible- which was the opposite of what she was doing.

“Oh my god- I'm so sorry.” She kept saying while patting your abdomen while you tried to wave her off, but she kept going making the tears flow from your eyes as you chose to walk away, covering your face at how humiliated you were. You sobbed in your hands as you bumped into someone before removing them from your face to find a bench to sit on but seeing that people were already turning their heads to look at you, you’ve had enough already.

Finally finding your bus stop, you sat down burying your face in the palm of your hands sobbing as your mind replays how you’ve made a fool out of yourself for the last time. Everything was going terribly and you didn’t know how to control it without losing your cool. Sure, you’ve managed to escape the people but the feeling is still badly glued to you.

“Is everything okay?”

Someone asks but the voice became a blur to you because you were so focused on your sobs and the unstable breathing.

“Go away.” You whispered but there was a weight added to your left side as you kept your face hidden behind your hands.

“I shouldn’t have asked.” The man says looking down before standing up to leave the bench, making you intake in a sharp exhale, relieved he left.

“Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult? How am I gonna interview a volleyball player at this state?” You rambled on thinking that guy has exited your business and was free from companion.

“I mean- we’re not close- but I’m a volleyball player?”

You wiped your eyes as your heart started to run a mile now that you’ve familiarized yourself with his voice.

Lifting your head, there in front of you was the one thing that your heart had wished to see.

“Atsumu?”

His eyes widen as his chest expands, his heart growing ten times bigger than it was while it beats like a drum on heavy metal song.

“Y/N- I didn’t know- wow.” Breathless, speechless, weak- those were the words that defined your emotions. You wanted to pass out- to act like you just mistaken him for a person but he was real and you had a hard time believing it.

“Atsumu?" God, he missed it. The way his name would fall of those taunting lips of yours. The tone in your voice leading him back to the memories that he couldn’t push away.

You had to believe it. There was no other way that your starvation can make you this delusional. You called his name like you were unsure that he was ever real- like a character your brain had developed to cope with your sorrows. You dared to touch him, maybe if you did it would be a wisp of air but you were scared that if you reached out to him, you could feel his skin and remember how you wanted it to be within your grasp all the time.

Perhaps it’s a dream but this time you’d never want to wake up if this was the only way you can be together.

“Y/N..I- how are you?” How could he manage to act so civil? Your presence shocked him like electricity in his veins, pumping his heart at an unusual speed. His voice was unsteady and low, experiencing the same thoughts like you.

It’s like he was dragged back to your last encounter. Seeing your eyes filled with so much agony and how you looked so torn from his rejection, it’s the same look that you had now. It’s like his eyes were playing a risky game with him but he couldn’t complain since he’s been wanting to see you ever since you let go.

“Well, I’m burned-out that’s for sure.” You said with a light chuckle as he sits back down, wondering if it’d be alright to be close to you.

“What’s this interview about?” He asks, fiddling with the strings of his jacket while you tore your eyes away from him because you knew the admiration for him would erupt anytime soon.

“What got athletes into the sport in the first place.” Atsumu places his finger under his chin, thinking deeply about what offer he just made.

It’d mean that he could be in the same room with you for more than the hours he spent crying to himself but why waste the chance? You needed it- heck you wouldn’t be this distraught if you weren’t so affected by it. There was a never-ending list of things to do but meeting with Atsumu wasn’t even in your list of expectations because you were over with hoping into something that takes a miracle.

But he is the miracle.

“Atsumu..I don’t want you to see me like this.” You said, looking down on your hands that were on your lap, letting your hair fall in front of you to avoid his concerned gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen you in years, this is not what I planned to look like when I first see you.” Atsumu feels his heart frown at how low you spoke of yourself, but he understood. If you saw him in the state that you were in right now, he too would feel like he could’ve done or look better, even at least handle the situation without crumbling apart.

He knew you were in a troubled place of your mind but he just wonders where you could talk about why everything fell apart.

He missed the way it was casual to talk to you. Maybe an insult as a greeting, or a flick to the arm but he never expected to talk to you with his heart dropping in your hands. He just couldn’t forget the way you’d let him go that day during graduation, it’s almost like the sensation was still lingering around his palm even if he held a ball.

He just wished he said yes, only then, you’d be meant for each other.

“Do you mean it?” You asked sighing, not baring the weight of his silence. The pace of his heart quickens as he starts to worry if this was the confrontation that he held back all these years.

“The interview.” He was more than glad to do it. He was thankful that you weren’t talking about the bad memories or the circle of tension you two were in.

He looks at you while another strike was given to his heart seeing you this way. He’d do everything to bring back the color in your features.

“Of course.”

You smiled at his words as you both stand up but you felt conscious about the stain that was still stuck to your shirt making you desperately try to hide it by pulling your bag to the messed up section. Atsumu didn’t know that the person he had followed was the same person that got coffee dipped down on them. He didn’t recognize you at first because you had your hands covering your cries. He was worried for you when you ran off but when he knew it was you, he couldn’t believe if it was luck or a granted wish.

“Just wear this.” He says, handing you placing his jacket on your shoulders as your heart flutters at how he looked at you, completely filled with sincerity and the way his hand stayed on your shoulder.

“What the fuck do you want?” He asks you with a knife-like stare, purposely bumping harshly into you.

“Wow Miya, I was just walking.” You said returning the same fuel that he had.

“Then get out of my way then.”

“Thank you.” You said smiling lightly. He catches a glimpse of your smile and he feels his world light up at the sight of it.

I missed you.

“So where to?” He asks as you walk beside him just like old times. His height still intimidating you but it was still difficult to believe that this was the same Atsumu you had fallen for in high school.

“My apartment. We missed the bus so I hope it’s okay for you to wait.”

“I can always drive us there.” You’ve never whipped your head faster than this moment. You always trusted Osamu when he said that Atsumu couldn’t be a better driver than his own brother because Atsumu liked to rev up the engine like one of those scenes in a movie.

With the thought in your mind, you laughed.

Atsumu stops walking as he lets himself dwell at the sound of it.

Then there was a smile that he couldn’t contain.

“Sorry for laughing, ‘Tsumu. Never pictured you to have a car earlier than ‘Samu that’s all.” You explained as he chuckles, continuing to be beside you, a place that he finds himself to be the happiest.

“Yeah yeah I get it- I’m a little careless but not all the time y’know?” He says while he leads the way. The breeze felt comfortable now, it had a tweak of coldness but maybe it was just the atmosphere of you two.

When you walked to his car and told him your address, there was another silence but you tried to tell yourself that this was just Atsumu. Nothing to be worried about because you’ve known him for too long to act like all distant.

This is Atsumu- that's every reason that there is to feel nervous around him.

“How long have you been living there?” He asks while you started to feel just how badly you wanted to give in to sleepiness. You shifted once in a while to control yourself from falling asleep in his damn car. Every urge to just lay quiet for a while but you knew this would lead to a deep slumber.

“Ever since graduation.” You answered, annoyed that his jacket was inviting you to lay there and sleep away your stress though you were scared that once you wake up- Atsumu would be gone again.

“And you didn’t call to tell me about it?” He jokes but the chuckle that he expected never came because he knew just how awkward it’d be if you actually called just for that sole reason. Atsumu bites his lip at his failed attempt to drag the conversation on.

Then you giggled.

“I wanted to but I wouldn’t wanna bother the famous MSBY player.” You said smiling at him, proud that he continued on. You knew from Osamu of course, a single update when he had mentioned how well his restaurant had become, you also saw them in a poster once, even recognizing a few of his past opponents.

“Well, it would be a shame.”

There you are.

You finally arrived at your apartment and again you felt the slice of satisfaction as you removed your shoes and placed them on the table. You were partly thankful that your apartment was clean since you never have the time to spend a whole day in it only coming home late at night. Atsumu looks around as you prepare him a drink and a few snacks-it'd be rude not to.

Atsumu sees the photos where you won several awards for your loyalty and hardwork at your club. He sees how time passes and you grew into a version of you that he finds even more flawless then before. Your equipment and how everything was organized on your desk, he knew how much things changed because he used to see you doubt yourself every time you’d finish a paper but now you won awards because of them.

“Atsumu, is it alright if I shower real fast?” You asked while he raises a brow at you confused that you had to ask for his permission.

“Of course, Y/N- you didn’t have to ask.” He said chuckling while he sits on the couch, letting his eyes wonder around.

“I promise I’ll be back.”

“Please don’t rush yourself. Take yer time. “ He says while you smile at him before dashing to your room to gather new clothes, feeling like you’ve won a lottery with how happy you were to remove the coffee drenched top, tossing it to your laundry bin while you step into the shower enjoying the way the water decorated your skin, cleansing it from all the worries. While Atsumu scrolls on his phone to ease himself from the anxiousness. His finger would casually glide over Osamu’s phone number, to ask him what to do.

After a few minutes, you stepped out of the shower like a whole new person. You saw the way Atsumu’s eyes lit up when you walked in but you pushed the thought away. He pats the seat next to him while you grabbed your notebook and pen, ready to scribble down the questions.

“Are there any uncomfortable questions you’d want to avoid?” You asked him while he shakes his head while you took note of the possible questions.

“Is it okay for the interview to be filmed?” He nodded while you leaned onto the pillow, sighing happily at how you’ve managed to calm down from the pile of embarrassment earlier.

“Thank you for doing this, ‘Tsumu- really you don’t know how much I appreciate you for this.” You said leaning your cheek on the side of the couch as Atsumu copies your actions staring at you lovingly.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” He says smiling while you returned to write a list of questions for him. With every time you look down on your notebook, Atsumu’s eyes never left you while his mind recalls every moment where he msised the opportunity to tell you just how beautiful you were.

Soon, you’ve fallen asleep while he lets the feeling sink in.

I’ve never wanted to hold you more than I do now.

He sighs before placing the blanket on your body while he kneels down and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, his finger tracing your cheek.

“You’ll never know how much I missed you.” He whispers while you shifted in your sleep meeting his face. Before he stands up, he feels you reach for him while he’s left surprise at your touch.

“Stay please.” You whispered while he smiles weakly, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I always will.”

-

The morning comes and you felt the blush creep on your cheeks remembering how easily you felt asleep. You wondered if Atsumu stayed, if he left- you couldn’t really blame him. So yawning and stretching when you woke up, you certainly didn’t expect to see Atsumu cooking you some breakfast. You couldn’t even move your legs, every part of you has gone stiff just admiring the way he moves.

“Hey, good morning.” He greets with a wave, a spatula in his hand, a bright smile tugged on his lips.

“Atsumu- oh god I’m so sorry.” You said as you went to him. You caught a whiff of what he was cooking and you swore you could’ve drooled knowing you didn’t even got the chance to eat dinner. Atsumu knew that of course so he called Osamu up in the morning to serve you the best breakfast he could ever make. He was initially supposed to make you dinner but you fell asleep before he could do it so this was his rebound.

“Idiot, it’s fine. Just sit down on the table and I’ll prepare the food.”

“Atsumu-“

“Just go, Y/N. I promise it’s okay- you deserve to rest before you work again.” You couldn’t even think properly with his words. It was so minimum but it was something you’d forget to do- rest. Hearing him remind you that sets a new feeling in your system. You did obey him though, you sat on the table as he even handed you coffee for him and you, placing the breakfast on the table. God, he was everything. You thought that after a few years, you two would completely drift apart but it seems like you were wrong for the hundredth time.

“Please don’t even think about ways to thank me, it’s nothing to me. “ He says taking the seat next to you while you place the food on his plate. You couldn’t even utter a word at how grateful you were for him and he’d be happy to get used to seeing you first thing in the morning.

“Atsumu, after breakfast can we have a run down of the questions first?” You asked him, growing more comfortable.

“Yeah sure.”

-

You sat on the couch, placing your camera on the table aligning it to the best possible angle as Atsumu sits down in front of you. You had your notebook on your lap as he praises how you looked so professional even if it was just a practice.

“Ready?” You asked while he nods with a smile as you pressed the camera to shoot so you could keep your composure, even if you struggled to.

“What does the sport mean to you?” You asked him, your eyes glimmering with the suns rays hitting it perfectly, while the words were removed from Atsumus mind. Seeing his hesitation, you decided to reassure him.

“It’s fine if you can’t answer straight away. I can always change the question if you like.” You commented, smiling at him to make sure he doesn’t feel rushed to answer. He nods, still not finding the exact same words to describe what he wanted to say.

“I’ll change the question for now.” You said while he let’s out a sigh before listening to you once again.

“What was the biggest struggle in your career?” He sends you a worried stare but his mind nearly bursts at his answer.

“Getting over you.”

You dropped your pen on the couch as Atsumu continued to speak since this was the answer his heart was sure of responding to.

“I tried to forget- I did. For every year that passes, the more fucking harder it gets to act like I didn’t love you back when you walked away.”

“Atsumu-“

“I know I said no- I was too late to realize how stupid I was to be scared of falling for you. I couldn’t let myself be the man who could love you when all this time I tried to hate you because I knew I would hurt you- and I already did.”

We get hurt a lot but it doesn’t mean I won’t come back to you.

Love grew and died during your second year at Inarizaki.

Before Atsumu, you found Karou. A boy who was a new recruit to your group whose helped you multiple times and has shared a conversation with you about your similar likes. There was this strange infatuation with him that even Osamu had to question how deep was the bite of love on you. You’ve fallen, of course. Occasionally leaving notes on his desk to just let him know how he made your day but it never worked. He would only paste the note on another persons desk like it was nothing. Not even getting the reaction you wanted, it felt too normal when it shouldn’t be. Realizing how this was just rejection in the shadows, you gave up. Obviously heart broken at the mere thought of how your chances were blown away. When Atsumu saw how gloomy you were that day, he had to show you how much you didn’t need Karou and there grew a different bond between the both of you.

And with a bond like that, you became attached to him.

It was all becoming clearer and clearer as you realized that you fell for the wrong person first.

“You’re too stupid to fall for a douche like him. “ He says kicking the rock that was in front of him.

“You’re lucky with that admirer of yours, Miya. I’ve never seen someone stick around you for so long.” You teased. It’s true the half of the twin hearthrob has gotten himself a sincere admire. It wasn’t one of his crazy fans- this was a person who genuinely cared for him and the words on every note he received would make the poor boy blush uncontrollably and you envied how he’s yet to realize that he too was falling for this unknown person.

While you two were oblivious to the slip up of the universe, it took a toll on you.

Because the notes you’d leave on Karous desk, always ended up on Atsumu’s instead.

“I wanna meet them so bad. Just to see if they actually care and it’s not a prank. They haven’t given me a note and it’s been what a month? I doubt it was ever real.”

“With the amount of effort they gave, I’m sure it was real.”

It’s real for me even if it shouldn’t be.

There wasn’t any other way then to accept the feelings that stayed on your skin. The moments where you thought that being around Atsumu would bring you stressful banters and more, it turned into butterflies that surrounded your room. You chose to deny it at first but remembering that graduation and good-byes were near, you had to tell him at some point.

And when you did, you poured your heart out and not even a single drop was caught.

“Last words before I forget your dumbass?” He taunts while you felt your sweat drip down the side of your forehead as you couldn’t control it anymore. You wondered if there was a simple word to describe just how much you adored him without turning it into a whole speech. This was it- you had to do it or else you’d end up being stuck on the feeling of loving him.

“I..like you Atsumu and I can’t say good-bye without telling you.”

Then there was the awful silence that he gave making you clutch onto your shirt, preparing you for the worst.

But by the way he looked so terrified and frozen, you knew.

“Atsumu?”

“No- I’m sorry.”

“And I don’t know what I’d do if I let you leave again.” He whispers as he leans closer to you, taking your hands in his while your ability to speak has been taken away by how gentle he was as his thumb caresses your hand and a look that looked so fragile.

He takes his hand and cups your cheek, pulling you close to him as his vulnerability increases.

“Do you feel the same too?” He was being so careful because a wrong choice of a word could make it all fall apart again and you could feel how tense he was but he holds you like a gem- something so beautiful that it’d cost him his life if he ever dropped you.

Your hand lands on the same hand that was on your cheek while Atsumu’s eyes widen remembering how you neglected to hold his hand before.

But it stayed.

Closing your eyes and melting in his touch, you spoke.

“I never stopped loving you, Atsumu.”

He lets his forehead rest on yours, a smile on his lips, who was soon to be on yours.

“Then be mine all over again.”