#20 days for an update... much better than 36 lol

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

boundaries?? (part 6)

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[cephalonserotonin]

Devstream 179 Notes

Thank you for your patience as I get this out about a week late; I've had multiple family obligations the past few weeks which have, alas, cut into my warframe time.

Apparently the Stug is a Top Gear reference (Kaz is wearing a motorcycle helmet and doesn't speak for a good 20 minutes, it's actually kind of annoying) A new devstream face on the left: Nikita, principal weapons artist!

1999 Hype Dripfeed

(to catch up those unaware: first referenced in last year's tennocon, and barely begun in the Whispers in the Walls update, Warframe 1999 is the game's "next chapter," unexpectedly taking place during what seems to be the age of the apple II and Y2K, featuring "protoframes" and the good works of Nine Inch Nails.)

Tennocon 2024 merch is retro 1999 and awesome: the physical merch pack includes a very cool USB key, and the digital pack includes a dope syandana

YAY the Aoi teaser, it is absolutely worth rewatching

Concept art for Arthur, Aoi, PINK ATOMICYCLE!

Protea Prime next this week

Protea Prime herself and her awesome trailer have come out since I took these notes, so I'm just going to link the prime access trailer and website promo instead of my usual preview descriptions. Definitely watch the trailer, it's....inspiring. We've had such banging soundtracks for the prime trailers lately!

May 15 "Interim" Update:

Will bring next season of Nightwave; the current season will end on that day, and the next will start two hours later (on the same day; how nice, I hate waiting that extra week). Comes with a set of "daybreak" skins for the nukor, glaive, kubrows (?), and the ✨CEDO✨(my Lavos bias comes through)

Some tennogen skins, nice to see skins for less represented boys Revenant and Baruuk. There will be another batch of tennogen in the Jade Shadows that includes a skin for Lavos (hype).

💚 Update 36: Jade Shadows💚

Lore focusing on the Stalker coming from a Post-TNW perspective

I got really excited because Rebb used "they" for the Stalker (who I think has always previously been he/himd?)

Jade: the 57th warframe! She's somewhat but not wholly angelic: light is the theme, but there is "choral flavour." Pablo describes her kit as "support and debuffing enemies"

Lore focusing on the Stalker coming from a Post-TNW perspective

I got really excited because Rebb used "they" for the Stalker (who I think has always previously been he/himd?)

Jade: the 57th warframe! She's somewhat but not wholly angelic: light is the theme, but there is "choral flavour." Pablo describes her kit as "support and debuffing enemies"

Honestly I think her wings are giving more Peacock

They wanted to include more direct visual inspiration on the Stalker's weapons but they were determined "too edgy" lol. But they're still Stalker-inspired. She has Evensong (Jade!Dread, which I'm especially excited for), Cantare (Jade!Despair, which I hope has better stats than the OG), and Harmony (Jade!Hate)

The Stalker has a Landing Craft Skin called "Terror." Which is very cohesive with the rest of the Stalker aesthetic.

Operation: Belly of the Beast: A clan operation that will launch with Jade Shadows.

There's a new eximus :( the Jade Light Eximus :( "Parvos Granum is up to something" 😨

also Yareli Deluxe is a thing

As an aside, Kaz, freed from the Stug bit, is rocking the Gideon Nav energy 😎

Another helping of QOL:

Adjusting the "rubber" necks of frames: "Warframes aren't prey, they're predators".

Alchemy in the circuit! As an enjoyer of both the alchemy game mode and the circuit (and not a fan of its defense or assassination), this is welcome for me!

Apparently the AI level changes are important for crossplay; "a bouquet of QOL" that will bring a better experience for many.

Medical debt bond drop rates adjusting includes a replacement for the credits reward in bounties. and there was much rejoicing.

Here Comes Pablo's Rant: impending enemy scaling & status effects rework

As with all of Pablo's mechanics overviews, I recommend watching (or reading) this yourself if you want a deeper look. He's always very informative.

"A lot of this may change" off to a great start

Devs are considering adding a damage cap for enemy armor and adjusting the damage resistance function of armor. reasoning: armor strip should be a viable strategy but not an absolute requirement for higher level play.

Status type mechanics will be simplified: type effectiveness bonuses are now going to be by faction instead of by flesh/armor/shield material -> with exceptions:: Kuva Grineer, Amalgam Corpus, Deimos Infested

Buffing some less used status effects: Cold will now fully freeze enemies, which doubles crit bonus Gas will be more visible visually (but mechanically the same) Magnetic…will depend on how the shield rework goes (yay playtesting). Blast "will be blasty." I've been hoping for a Blast buff for AGES so I'm excited to see what we get from that admittedly very vague teaser.

You can tell he knows the fanbase is already going to flame him for even coming close to nerfing viral/heat/slash, because he said several times they are not being altered. We love you Pablo.

Semi-auto weapons are going to have automatic (not needing to re-click) shooting mode, but (similarly with the shield gating rework last year) you'll be able to keep your semiautomatic flavour with a new mod that disables this new functionality in exchange for a big buff. Effectively replacing Shred with another high-damage, high-punch-through mod.

Key art is from Warframe's official devstream overview; stream screenshots are my own.

[yourboardgamepal]

October 2023 Games Played Retrospective

A bit late for this one, isn’t it? Things got hectic, but I still wanted to give an update on what I played in October!

I played 36 unique games—most more than once, some much more than once. I played a lot of new-to-me games that were abstract strategy games, plus some familiar strategy games like Chess. Here’s my top three by plays for the month of October!!

Draftosaurus (31 plays)

I spent the first third of my October playing lots of winter mode Draftosaurus! I got pretty good at that mode. I think I’m even better at it than I am at the summer mode board 😂😂 will have to try summer/winter mode some more some time, it looks like a good way to lengthen the gameplay time and get some more strategic thinking in there!

Kalah (25 plays)

I had a brief Kalah/Mancala obsession this month along my path of discovering new abstract strategy games to play—then I got into Oware as well, and hope to learn Bao and Omweso soon too with the apps and websites I found for them!!

Martian Dice (22 plays)

Still a favorite of mine, though I played this one mostly in the first half of the month. I like playing it with my friends especially—it’s a good game to play and chat in the chat box to. And the theme is just so cute and funny lol, I love that we’re abducting cows, chickens, and humans to figure out which one is in charge lol!

Other Honorable Mentions and Going Forward

Other honorable mentions include Fluxx (20 plays), Quibbles (18 plays), and Orion Duel (17 plays). Games I played once include Backgammon, Dorfromantik: the Board Game, Hokito, Homeworlds, Love Letter: Premium Edition, Punderdome, the Royal Game of Ur, and Yoxii.

In my last retrospective, I wanted to play more Fluxx, Forest Shuffle, Forbidden Island and Pandemic over the course of October—and I managed to play all of them at least a bit save for Pandemic!

I also wanted to play more solo games irl from my collection, and this month I focused on Chomp, a dinosaur tile laying game.

I also also wanted to explore more new-to-me and free games on BGA, and got to play a bit of Orion Duel, Can’t Stop, Trio, boop., Hokito, Quarto, Yoxii, Kalah, Backgammon, Quantik, and Reversi/Othello, of which nine (9!!) are free on BGA!!

In the last two days of November, I think I want to focus still on my solo irl games and see how many plays I can get in on those :] Probably won’t be a lot, but I wanna get a few plays in anyway!!

[inconceivabl3]

This will be a long one!

Alrighty friends. My initial plan was to update the blog as we were going through the process of IVF. Truthfully, there is simply NO time for that along the way! Allow me to explain...

This is our first cycle with IVF, and I didn’t know what to expect prior to starting, but let me tell you I was just blown away by how much work goes into this process. I just assumed it would be similar to the process of IUI’s, with having a day 2 baseline sonogram and then meds for 5 days, and then your day 12 sonogram to check your lining, trigger, etc... BOY WAS I WRONG.

Honestly, so many people said the same thing to me: they had no idea what to expect with IVF so I’m just going to lay it all out on the table and be as descript as possible. Hopefully this will help some people understand the process a little better and therefore know what they’re getting involved in. :)

So cycle day 1 came pretty early for me, or at least I felt it was early. I called my RE and they had me come in for my baseline ultrasound on cycle day 2. On this baseline sonogram, the team is essentially looking to see how your uterus and ovaries look prior to starting. Are there any cysts? Growths? Areas for concern? Etc. They also draw baseline labs (estrodiol level) at this appointment. After the doctor reads the results of the sonogram and labwork, they’ll give you a call to give you instructions on dosing for your medications, which typically start that night. Note to self: definitely stay by the phone that day, these instructions are important and so is the timing of medication! Not a phone call you want to miss.

The medications that were started for me were Gonal-F and Menopur. Both of these are subcutaneous injections that are administered every 24 hours. Gonal-F is a follicle stimulant (follitropin alfa). You got it: it causes the eggs in the ovaries to develop at a faster pace than usual, and basically kicks your body into overdrive on egg production for ovulation. Menopur is also a follicle stimulant, but it contains luteinizing hormone (LH) in addition to follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). These are typically used in combination for fertility treatment.

I injected these bad boys every night at 6 PM, and oh wowzers the SIDE EFFECTS. Honey. I don't even know how to describe what I was feeling during this time. I imagine it's what menopause must feel like. I had the worst hot flashes--to the point that I felt like I was going to faint--, vertigo and dizzy spells, nausea (likely from the dizzy spells), and headaches. I didn't notice it at first, but I also bloated like crazy. I stepped on the scale the morning of my retrieval and I was literally shocked at the number I saw.

I will say, injecting yourself is a weird phenomenon. It doesn't hurt, at all. I mean that needle is so dang tiny you can barely see it lol, but there's something that just makes you hesitate every time you go to stick yourself. That may or may not have had to do with the Menopur burning like a ~BIOTCH~ upon injection. Oooof, the burn is definitely noticeable. It goes away relatively quickly, but I did take my fertility sister's advice and use cold packs she sent me. That helped right away. It's also a large volume of diluent, so it's not a super comfotable injection. The Gonal-F I never felt and it's also super small. The Menopur was 2 mL of fluid. NOPE.

Around day 6 (I believe), I was instructed to add on another injection: cetrotide. This medication is brought on board to basically prevent premature egg release or early ovulation. Because IVF has to be timed just right, all of the timing on this has to be absolutely controlled. This is why it's so important that you're seen in the office for labs and follow up sonograms every 1 to 2 days. Your team needs to evaluate your results and make sure nothing needs titration.

My estrogen was climbing pretty quickly. My baseline was 69, by the time I was told to trigger it had already reached 3,000!! That number really scared me so I looked it up to be sure that was acceptable, and apparently it is, but it had me shaking in my boots. I have not only read so much about OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome), but my friend went through it and it is definitely scary! OHSS is actually most common in younger women, those who suffer from PCOS, have rapidly rising estradiol levels, a large number of follicles and/or large sized-follicles, and also have a high AMH. Side effects to look out for with OHSS include rapid weight gain, excess bloating, urine retention or a significant decrease in your urination frequency, nausea/vomiting and shortness of breath. OHSS can actualy cause you to throw clots, so PLEASE pay attention to these side effects. It's extremely rare, but it can be fatal.

Anyways, my follicles were growing FAST and LARGE. Which you would think is good, but looking back, I think it was a sign that I was at risk for OHSS. I only did about 5 days of the cetrotide before my office called me and told me I was ready to trigger. I had a lot of follicles on both sides that were greater than 17 mm, and I was only on day 10 of medications! I was instructed to take my trigger shot that night (Ovidrel, which is another injection), and then 36 hours later, BAM, we were suiting up for egg retrieval!

The egg retrieval is quick, but can cause a lot of painful cramping, so you're completely anesthetized for it. Trust me: it's the best nap of your life! You care team uses a long needle/catheter to access the ovaries, and this is how they "retrieve" the eggs. The catheter is inserted vaginally, it's not through the abdomen. A few people had asked me that so wanted to make sure that was understood!

After my procedure, my RE came to my recovery room to tell me they retrieved 32 EGGS, which is CRAZY. (ya think I was hyper-stimulating...?) They did give me a warning that most patients lose approximately 50% of their egg count, but it was still an excellent number to start with. Some people are lucky if they get 10 eggs initially, so I was feeling ultra blessed to come out with 32. An angel or two was certainly looking out for us...

The embryologists call you on days 2, 4 and 6 to give you updates on how your eggs are progressing. I think by day 4 they typically want to see the embryo's reach a 4-cell count (meaning they're dividing appropriately), and by day 5 or 6 they should be blastocysts, which is once the embryo has formed separate cell structures and a fluid cavity. According to the literature, only 20 to 30 percent of embryos become blastocysts, and they also have a higher implantation rate.

My final embryo counts were as follows: of the 32 eggs retrieved, 26 were mature enough to fertilize. 22 of those 26 were successfully fertilized. Of the 22 fertilized, 14 became blastocysts and are currently cryopreserving!!!

Because I was borderline hyperstimulating, it was recommended we wait until next menstrual cycle to do a frozen embryo transfer. So, we'll be calling the office again on my next "cycle day 1" aka the start of a period, but this time we won't need those crazy injectables! Those are only utilized to assist with egg production and retrieval.

This is one heck of an update, and I feel like I just went on lots of tangents throughout, but I really wanted to be as specific as possible for people who have lots of questions! I'm an open book, so if there's anything I wasn't clear on, feel free to ask. Otherwise, be on the lookout for an update in a few short weeks! **crosses fingers and toes**

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Rules:

1. Reblog this post (You don’t have to be following me to participate (but I’d appreciate it), I just would like this on your page 😊)

2. Send me an ask (not into my messages because they will get lost) with the name of the person you want to write for as well as the prompt you choose from below (Limit 2 people per prompt and 2 prompts per person) (First come, first serve by asks)

a. I’ll cross out prompts that are unavailable if people choose them, so always look for the most updated version of this post.b. If your writing account isn’t the one you’ve send an ask with, please include the name of your account at the end of the ask!

3. Use the hashtag #Riaswritingchallenge and tag me so I can see what you created! (make sure you use the correct tag because that will be how I am looking for posts)

a. I will reblog all the posts you write and if I don’t reblog within 3 days, send me an ask to make sure I see it

4. If it’s more than 1.5K (no word limit, go for it), add a keep reading option please so we don’t have pages and pages of pieces

a. If you can’t, that’s fine, I don’t think you can on the mobile

5. Don’t Stress and Have Fun! We aren’t comparing works to anyone; we’re just sharing what we wrote!

6. I’m not putting an end date on this challenge until I see activity! I’ll reblog with a date when I have one.

EDIT: So I’ve decided not to take requests for myself off this list and just leave these prompt to you guys, SO PLEASE DON’T SEND ME REQUESTS FROM THESE LISTS! CHOOSE ONES FOR YOU TO WRITE! 😊 Thank you!

Characters (Pick ANY character from a fandom):

The 100• Marvel• Harry Potter• Flash• Walking Dead• <- those are examples, choose what ever you’d like!

Prompts (specify which list in ask):

Fluff:

1. “Just hold me close and never let go.”

The One by @with1love1anu (Sirius Black x Reader)

2. “You may be good, but I’m better.” 

@abysshaven (Draco Malfoy x reader)

3. “You know, I’d go through hell for you.” “Really?” “Yeah, or well, really hot weather.”

@abysshaven (Draco Malfoy x reader)

@fridasfantasy (Zuko x Reader)

4. “Well you’re fun.” “And you’re annoying.”

Sirius Black x Reader by @valiantartwritingweasel

Just my Type by @writeseasonally (Fred Weasley x Reader)

5. “You’re drunk.” “I’m not drunk.” “Then what are you?” “…I’m not dead, right?”

@nekoannie-chan (Brock Rumlow x Reader)

Truth under Moonlight by @approved-by-dentists (Sirius Black x Reader)

6. “You’re a lot more interesting in my head.”

Hoax by @seiraswriting (Hermione Granger x Reader)

7. “You just have to trust me.”

Proud of you by @fandomscombine (George Weasley x Reader)

8. “Time flies when you’re a prisoner.”

9. “You’re my home.”

Home by @capsheadquaters (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

10. “Thanks for not killing me.”

@wonderful-writer​ (Sirius Black x Reader)

11. “I’m going to choose to take pride in that.”

Freedom of Innocence by @summer-writes (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Gone by @moony-writes-stuff​ (George Weasley x Reader)

12. “You’re my second chance.”

@bad268 (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Second Chances by @shaynawrites23 (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

13. “Take me by the hand and hold me tight.”

If it Hurts by @oingo233 (Daryl Dixon x reader)

14. “I’m proud of us.”

15. “Will you get off me?”

Snowscape by @kalimagik (Fred Weasley x Reader)

16. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I just fell more in love with you.”

@they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon (Remus Lupin x Reader)

I Love you by @theonly1outof-a-billion​​ (Mob!Tom Holland x Reader)

17. “You are everything I dreamed of.”

@the-moon-and-the-book​ (Remus Lupin x Reader)

18. “Here, let me help you.”

@dreamer821 (Sirius Black x Reader)

19. “Can I have a kiss? Please?”

Can I kiss you? by @bad268 (Julian Albert x Reader)

20. “Your hand is so soft.”

Gentle Hands by @johnmurphyisbisexual (John Murphy x Reader)

21. “I’ve been thinking-“ “uh oh.”

A Beautiful Dream by @missmulti (Remus Lupin x Reader)

22. “But you love me anyways.”

@leah-ravenanne (James Potter x Reader)

Secret Admirer by @shaynawrites23 (Sirius Black x Reader)

23. “Want a back rub?”

24. “Can we cuddle?”

Gentle Hands by @johnmurphyisbisexual (John Murphy x Reader)

25. “You realize how insane you sound, right?”

Crazy for You by @writeroutoftime (Sirius Black x Reader)

@wonderful-writer​ (Sirius Black x Reader)

26. “Stop making that face. It’s too cute.”

Proud of you by @fandomscombine (George Weasley x Reader)

27. You are perfect for me.”

Party Revelations by @angelinathebook (Sirius Black x Reader)

28. “You’re so warm.”

Snowscape by @kalimagik (Fred Weasley x Reader)

29. “I love you more every day.”

30. “Where’s my morning kisses?”

31. “Wanna go for a walk?”

Comfort by @iliveiloveiwrite (Sirius Black x reader)

32. “I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

Comfort by @iliveiloveiwrite (Sirius Black x Reader)

33. “Stop stealing my food.”

34. “Wow, I almost forgot how beautiful you were.”

@hollands-weasley (Fred Weasley x Reader)

35. “There’s an open seat on my lap.”

Party Revelations by @angelinathebook (Sirius Black x Reader)

@stiles-o-dylan24 (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

36. “Please just look at me.”

@horsegirly99 (Remus Lupin x Reader)

37. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Star Crossed Lovers by @missmulti (James Sirius Potter x Reader)

@horsegirly99 (Remus Lupin x Reader)

38. “Netflix and cuddle?”

39. “I can count to ten.” “You can barely get to 3.”

40. “My best friend is an idiot. Awesome.”

Angst:

1. “Despite everything, I still care about you.”

Blind Love by @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

2. “I should go…”

Never Leave Me Again by @with1love1anu (George Weasley x Reader)

@they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon (Remus Lupin x Reader)

3. “Joke’s on me, right?”

To Love and Be Used by @the-moon-and-the-book (James Potter x Reader)

4. “Break my heart, I’ll break your face.”

5. “Fuck you and your promises.”

Promises by @masterofthedarkness (Fred Weasley x Reader)

6. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? No? Me neither.”

7. “I’m not worth dying for.”

A Beautiful Dream by @missmulti (Remus Lupin x Reader) 

8. “There’s still good in you.”

All for You by @blisfvll (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

9. “I thought you died.”

Home by @capsheadquaters (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

@screennamealreadyused (Jason Todd x Reader)

10. “Don’t touch me.”

@screennamealreadyused (Jason Todd x Reader)

11. “I’m fine.” *Passes out*

Can I kiss you? by @bad268 (Julian Albert x Reader)

@dreamer821 (Sirius Black x Reader)

12. “I was hoping you’d save us both.”

Never Leave Me Again by @with1love1anu (George Weasley x Reader)

13. “I’m invisible.”

14. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

To Love and Be Used by @the-moon-and-the-book (James Potter x Reader)

15. “You’re not you.”

16. “What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? I’m not.”

@novellaquill (Barry Allen x reader, The originals crossover)

17. “Okay, fuck you.”

18. “You wanna play hero? Be my guest.”

Drama by @obsessedwithrandomthings (Remus Lupin x Reader)

19. “You’re an asshole.”

20. “I hope it was worth it.”

21. “Trust me, it could get a whole lot worse.”

22. “The only mistake I made was you.”

@acciomarauders (Regulus Black x Reader)

23. “Prove to me you’re different, then I’ll believe you.”

@stiles-o-dylan24 (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

24. “No one blames you.” “I do.”

All for you by @blisfvll (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

25. How come you’re still here?”

26. “This is when you stop talking.”

27. “How am I supposed to say goodbye to you?”

@novellaquill (Barry Allen x reader, The originals crossover)

28. “God, just let me fall apart.”

Gone by @moony-writes-stuff​ (George Weasley x Reader)

29. “Just let me die.”

John Murphy x Reader by @johnmurphyisbisexual

Duelled by @teheharrypotter (Sirius Black x Reader)

30. “You got to let go.”

Star Crossed Lovers by @missmulti (James Sirius Potter x Reader)

31. “Why can’t you look at me like you look at her?”

Fool’s Gold by @marauderswhisperer (James Potter x Reader)

32. “You don’t get to die today.”

If it Hurts by @oingo233 (Daryl Dixon x reader)

33. “I’m spiraling and I can’t make it stop.”

John Murphy x Reader by @johnmurphyisbisexual

34. “You’re never too broken to be fixed.”

She’s a Survivor by @eleven-times-lively (Remus Lupin x Reader)

35. “Fun? Is that all I am to you? Fun?”

36. “I would’ve given my life up for you, but now? Now I don’t even know you.”

@shatteredlovesick (Steve Rogers x reader)

37. “I haven’t been the same since you left me.”

Charm-ed by @nekoannie-chan (Steve Rogers x Reader)

38. “You were supposed to protect me.”

39. “You gave me the world, but it wasn’t enough.”

40. “Give me another chance to prove I am still in love with you.”

Smut:

(Sorry I couldn’t find or come up with more smut ones lol)

1. “Ruin me.”

2. “Lose the shirt.”

3. “You know we’re in public, right?”

4. “Be good.” “Or what, you’ll punish me?”

5. “I can’t wait to get you alone tonight.”

6. “Spread your legs for me.”

7. “Remember. You’re mine.”

8. “Stop the lip biting, you’re driving me crazy.”

9. “Tonight, you’re in control.”

10. “I’m not wearing anything under this.”

11. “Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?”

Learned your Lesson by @johnmurphyisbisexual (John Murphy x Reader)

12. “Aw, is somebody jealous?”

13. “If you wanna fuck, just say the words.”

14. “I forgot how much I missed seeing you beneath me.” 

@shatteredlovesick (Steve Rogers x Reader)

15. “Oh, fuck you!” “Your place or mine?”

16. “Was the sex really that good?”

17. “Like what you’re seeing?”

18. “On your knees.”

19. “Handcuffs? Sounds fun.”

20. “Touch yourself for me.”

Learned your Lesson by @johnmurphyisbisexual (John Murphy x Reader)

21. “Try not to ruin the sheets, I just cleaned them.”

22. “Why is your dick out?”

23. “Boobies!”

24. “I think the condom broke.”

Oh, baby by @grounderxbellamy (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

25. “Cute underwear.”

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 41

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.6k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: hope the smut isnt too much lol! oh and, couldnt find the gif i wanted but this one will do. this chapter was fun to write and i dont think it was a filler chapter lol! only a few chapters left, im super nervous! at the same time, this story is getting less and less popular sooo idk, maybe its time? idk. if you read and comment and like and reblog, I LOVE YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : posting them at the bottom because of spoilers!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 41 : His chapter

NIALL

May 15th, 2018

I was so close to ask her to marry me when we were in Spain. I kept looking at her ring finger, imagining what the ring I had bought would look on her hand, and telling myself that now that we were official, anything was possible, and I wanted it. I wanted the impossible, I wanted everything. The words "marry me" almost escaped my lips exactly 11 times and even now, I was wondering how I actually stopped myself from just doing it.

We were back in California for a few days and I had convinced her to spend her time in my house instead to go back to hers. Most likely, Louis was there with Eleanor or he was spending all his time at her place. Either way, I thought we were better at my house but I knew that eventually, she'd want to see Louis and get back in her stuff anyway.

I woke up and blinked a few times as the sun peeked through the curtains but not enough to light the room. It was dark but I could see clearly and when I turned around, I realized she was laying on her back, completely naked, and the covers were only hiding one of he legs. She was still asleep, her hair messy around her head, and I couldn't help but reach for my cock as my eyes roamed on her. I got on my knees gently, making sure I wouldn't make the mattress move too much, and let one of my hands run on her breasts while I grabbed my dick with the other, stroking it slowly. I rubbed my thumb on one of her nipples until it got hard and finally, I let my fingertips brush down her body to reach between her legs, her skin so soft against mine. Slowly, I moved one of her knees before letting two of my fingers run on her slit. The more I was touching her, the harder I was getting and I moved closer to her on my knees just to rub the tip of my cock on her nipple.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before she moved lightly in her sleep, letting out a low whimper.

I stopped moving and waited until she did too to continue touching her, my heart skipping a beat. The sensation was incredible and it made me want to rub my dick all over her body. I turned my body slightly and reached for her lips with my dick this time, feeling myself get even hornier when she licked her lips. It brushed on the tip of my cock and I let out a low groan as my eyes fluttered. I knew the whole thing was turning me on more than it should and all I could think about was getting between her legs and pushing my cock deep inside her.

Instead, I reached for her pussy again, rubbing one of my fingers gently on her clit as I felt her get wetter. Her body jerked a bit and she moaned low again before I let out an other curse word and slipped two fingers inside her, moving them in and out of her extremely slowly. I could hear how wet she was and I felt my cock throb in my hand. I was so turned on by her that I could barely believe I was doing that but she was so gorgeous, laying there completely naked in my white sheets, and the way she made me hard was just un-fucking-believable. I finally moved between her legs very slowly only to rub the tip of my dick on her clit. It slid easily due to how wet she was from me fingering her and this time, she let out a louder moan as one of her legs twitched. I jerked off harder between her legs as I pushed my thumb inside of her and rubbed her clit harder with one of my fingers until I was closer to an orgasm and without thinking, I took my hand away and pushed the tip of my cock inside her. Her walls pressed around it and I knew she was waking up. I took my cock out as I felt an orgasm reach me, cumming a bit inside of her before spurting on her pussy.

"Holy fuck."

I let out a moan as I watched her pussy get covered with my cum and when I looked up, her lips were parted and she was staring at me.

"Did you just cum all over me?" she asked in a low tone, her eyebrows raised.

"I.. did. I'm sorry."

Her eyes fell on my still hard cock as I shook it slightly and she bit her bottom lip before spreading her legs apart more and reaching for her pussy. I looked at her fingers gather some of my cum and slide it down until her clit. She let out a louder whimper as she started rubbing herself with the vestige of my orgasm and I couldn't help but let out an other curse word.

"You should have woken me up." she pointed, her voice a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"I know petal but you looked so vulnerable and hot just laying there, naked and asleep." I admitted, my eyes never leaving her fingers as she flicked them on her clit. "Fuck, you love rubbing your clit with my sperm?"

I didn't know if it was my words or just the fact that she was touching herself but she let out an other moan and her back arched suddenly. I brought one of my hands closer and once again pushed two of my fingers inside her as she kept touching herself and squirming on the bed.

"I want to watch you cum, darling."

It only took her about half a minute before she started shaking and when my named escaped her lips, I could swear I got dizzy and my vision got blurred for a few seconds.

"Oh fuck, Niall!"

Something stirred in my stomach and I just stared at her as she came, grinding on my fingers and squirming even more. When she came down from her high and relaxed on the mattress, I took my fingers out and slowly lied down over her. Her eyes were still closed and her lips were still parted as she panted. I brushed my mouth against hers and she whimpered as I felt my whole body vibrate.

"You did so well, petal. That was so fucking hot."

She brought her hands to my head, slipping her fingers in my hair, before kissing me deeply. I tilted my head slightly, tasting her as she whimpered in my mouth. I swallowed her moans and when i pulled away to look in her eyes, she sighed low.

"I don't want to go to work today." she admitted, raising her nose up and making an amused smile appear on my lips.

"You have to."

"I could call in sick?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and her face full of hope.

I laughed and shook my head, making her groan immediately. "Nope, you have to go. I'll go with you, how's that?"

"Better than nothing I guess."

I chuckled and got up, searching through my stuff to find clean clothes and when I glanced at her, my lips curled again.

"Stop staring at me and get ready. I'll make coffee and we can leave." The alarm on her phone started ringing as soon as I finished my sentence and I raised my eyebrows. "See? You have to wake up. Take a shower, I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

I heard her groan and turned around when I heard a sound only to realize she had tried throwing a pillow at me but had failed miserably. I laughed and shook my head but turned back around and reached the kitchen.

We ate toasts quickly as we walked to the car and remained silent the whole ride until we were there. We should both have gotten out of the car, I knew it, but instead, we remained sitting there, looking in front of us, and I kept wondering how we should act together. We were never the type to show too much affection in public. It happened before with friends around, or family sometimes, but not when random strangers could see. This time, we were with a lot of strangers and I was wondering if I should hold her hand or not. Should I kiss her temple sometimes? Or just go straight for the mouth? I didn't know anymore and if I wanted to be frank, I had never asked myself that question in any other relationships before.

"Ready?"

"No."

I frowned and turned to her but it took her a few seconds to look back at me. She sighed and shrugged before shaking her head a bit.

"Things have been particularly awkward with Dylan even since Heidi posted all those lyrics about us on instagram." she admitted, closing her eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again. "We're filming the season's finale today and, I don't know, I'm nervous I guess."

"Anything special about the final episode?"

She stared at me, her eyes roaming on my face, and her lips parted. "His character is breaking up with my character."

We looked at each other in silence and after a while, I reached for her hand on her thigh and squeezed her fingers tight. I knew why it made her feel like this and I knew it was not only because of her relationship with Dylan being awkward. This scene was our scene. It was that day I broke up with her and tore her heart in pieces. I held my breath, feeling suddenly extremely exposed. I had no really realized before how big this was. Of course, I knew her tv show was inspired by our story but it just hit me that people were actually watching it, and I was wondering how many of them now knew almost exactly what had happened between us?

"I'm here with you. It'll go amazingly, trust me." I pointed out, knowing it was not the right time to have a big discussion about her writing. "Remember in Italy? I almost believed you were breaking up with me to go marry your ex boyfriend."

She chuckled a bit. "You totally believed it."

"Maybe I did." I quickly replied. "But only for a few minutes, because I believe in us, I believe in our love, and I believe in you. So you go in there and play that scene and show them how incredible you are."

Her lips curled a bit and she rolled her eyes before finally nodding. I smiled more and we got out of the car to walk in. I thought I'd see Dylan first but when my eyes met Heidi's, I felt my heart jump up in my throat, almost throwing it up. I felt Olivia tense next to me and I held my breath when she saw us. She sent us a big smile but I could read so much pettiness behind it that it made me grimace.

"Hi!"

I glanced at Olivia who frowned and licked her lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Heidi replied, her eyebrows raised and her lips curled into a satisfied smile. "I'm with Dylan now."

As if on cue, he appeared and stood next to Heidi but I noticed his eyes never left my girlfriend and it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Of course, I couldn't expect him to just forget about her, after all, he was ready to marry her, but at the same time I wanted him to move on as quickly as he could. If that was to be done with Heidi then be it : i was ready to put up with her on the set.

"I hope it doesn't bother you too much." Heidi added, tilting her head and looking at Liv who sent her a smile back.

Dylan and I were just keeping quiet, not really sure what we were supposed to say or do, and I pushed both my hands in my pockets.

"Oh no, not at all. It's all good." Olivia replied with a shrug. "I mean, it's not the first time you run after one of my exes, you know? Oh! Maybe I could make you a list of all the men and women I dated? Would save you some time."

I almost choked on my own spit, not really expecting that reply. I knew what kind of person my girlfriend was but she had always played it low with Heidi because she knew it was not worth it. It seemed like this time, she had had enough.

I thought Heidi would answer something rude but instead, her facial expression changed into a surprised one and finally, her eyes got smaller. She was pissed, I knew it, but she'd never prove it to Olivia. She found her smile back and breathed in, wrapping her arm around Dylan's and looking up at him.

"Can you show me the set?"

He nodded and they left but he glanced back at us when he was farther and I finally sighed, turning to my girlfriend who was smiling. I thought she'd be a bit mad, or upset that her ex boyfriend was now with my ex girlfriend, but she didn't seem to care... until her smile fell down and she closed her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong suddenly?" I asked with a frown, taking a step closer and wrapping my fingers around her arm.

"I just realized Heidi was going to be there for the finale." she admitted, looking up at me. "She'll... see all of it. She'll see how it went... between... us."

It was the very first time Olivia admitted that her tv show was about us and I licked my lips, feeling something stir in my stomach. I didn't care that Heidi saw it, but I cared that the whole world would.

"You shouldn't care about her. She's with Dylan just to get to you or get back at us. She's here to piss you off and make you feel like shit. Don't let it get to you. Don't let her win."

She turned her whole body my way and her lips curled slightly into a fond smile. Slowly, she got on her tiptoe and pressed her lips gently against mine. It took me by surprise but I just answered her kiss and when she got back down on her feet, she tilted her head.

"Liv, can I ask you something?" I asked seriously, licking my lips as she nodded, her smile faltering a bit. "I know your tv show is based on our story but... for the next season, could you change that?"

I was scared to hurt her but at the same time, it was something I just needed to ask. If she said she didn't want to, I would accept it, but she knew my private life was a big deal for me and when she started nibbling on her bottom lip, I knew she felt guilty. I could read it on her face.

"I'm sorry, Niall. I never thought people would connect the show with our story but that was stupid of me. I mean, when I wrote that, I thought I'd never see you again, so I sort of wrote to... let it all out, you know?" she stopped and sighed. "Of course I'll make it different. I'll think of a whole other story for the characters, and make sure it has nothing in common with our story. Except maybe... well, the fact that they're soulmates."

I smiled and nodded, chuckling slightly. "I don't know if they are, but I know we are."

                                                 ----

I wandered around the studio while they were filming, and finally ended up at the cafeteria to grab a bite. I sat alone and started checking messages I got on my phone when I felt a presence in front of me and looked up. I was not surprised to see Heidi but I was not pleased either.

"Niall, we need to talk."

I blinked a few times and licked my lips, not really in the mood to discuss with her, but I finally just sighed and put my phone down as she sat down. I noticed she was holding a sheet in her hands and it made me frown. I didn't have time to ask her about it, she simply leaned against the table to move closer to me and instinctively, I moved my upper body away from hers.

"You know you could have just called me." she let out, confusing me and making me frown. "I know you miss me, and honestly I think we should get back together. I forgive you, I know you were a bit lost and..." she shook her head and I was even more puzzled. "It doesn't matter."

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back into place but I just licked my lips again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She put the sheet on the table and pushed it closer to me. It took me half a second to realize it was my handwriting and after reading only a few words, I knew it was which song of mine.

"Wait, where did you find that? I thought I lost it!"

The song was not finished but as my eyes roamed on the lyrics, I had a bunch of ideas on how to actually complete it and I held my breath.

"I found it in my boxes... the ones from your place that you've had sent to my place." she explained, reaching out to put her fingers on top of my hand.

I stopped moving completely and my eyes dropped to our hands. I felt frozen in place, a bit startled by her behavior and not really knowing how to react.

"What are you doing?" I just asked, my eyes still staring at her fingers brushing gently against my hand.

"You're right. We should get back together, Niall." she added. "I mean, I know you're trying to make me jealous with her but let's be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

Quickly, I shook my head and pulled my hand away from hers, mad that she would talk shit about my girlfriend again. "Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I'm with Liv and.. aren't you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I'm not trying to make anyone jealous, I'm just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved... the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?" I was frowning, getting pissed at her behavior, and I started wondering why I ever wanted to be with her in first place.

"Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!"

I rolled my eyes, angry that she could even think I wrote one song about her.

"I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn't about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!" I explained a bit rudely, looking in her eyes to make sure she understood. "I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck's sake, Heidi! What's the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I'm sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone."

Without giving her time to answer, I got up and left her by herself at the table before hiding in Liv's dressing room. I searched for a pen, my heart racing as I feared I'd forget the words dancing around in my head, and finally found one before leaning against the counter. I started scribbling fast, almost dropping the pen a few times as I held my breath. I scratched the first line and quickly replaced it to 'Maybe we are the champagne lovers' and went to the chorus to add a few lines, too.

'So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We've both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.'

I stared at the words and re-read them a few times before licking my lips. I was still lost in my thoughts when the door opened and I jumped a little, turning to see my girlfriend walking in. I sent her a fond smile and moved up from the counter as she wrapped her arms around me. I held her close, the paper burning on my fingertips, and kissed the top of her head.

I couldn't stop thinking about the lyrics and remembered exactly how I felt when I wrote most of the song. I missed her and I missed what we had. I didn't like where we were and I couldn't believe she was marrying someone else. The parts about sheets I had added reminded me of when we would hide under the covers and we had done it quite often in the past few weeks, making the whole meaning even more powerful.

"How did it go?"

"Not bad for now." she admitted, moving away. "But I think we'll film the rest an other day. It took longer than it was supposed to."

"Good, then maybe Heidi won't be there when you film the final scene." I suggested, raising my eyebrows.

"Hopefully." she replied with a smile before frowning. "What's that?"

My traits softened and I brought the sheet up again to read the lyrics. "A song. For you."

"Can I hear it?" she asked making me look up. Her eyebrows were raised and she was biting her bottom lip. She was so endearing that I almost said yes.

"Soon, okay?. I need a piano for this one."

                                                       ----

May 19th, 2018

Olivia actually slept a good part of the day and I ended up at the pub with Julia, who was back to California too since her tour was over. I had an other first part for the other half of the tour and I knew I was going to miss her dearly. It was not like me to be super emotional, but with time, Julia easily became one of my closest friends and traveling with her had been a blast. I couldn't pretend that the fact that she listened to me complain about my love life didn't help us to become closer but it would be a lie.

"Where's your girlfriend today? I wanted to see her." I felt my lips curl more as I looked at her and she frowned. "What?"

"Oh no it's just... hearing someone else call her my 'girlfriend' is very cool." I pointed out with a chuckle, scratching the back of my head, feeling a bit embarrassed. I couldn't believe I had said that.

"That's what she is now, right?" Julia asked with a small laugh. "That's what you've wanted for months. You've been complaining about it every single day!"

"What? Come on, don't exaggerate." I argued, raising my nose up.

"I'm not!" she laughed again before getting a bit more serious. "I'm very happy for you, Niall. Now it's time to move forward, you know?"

"Meaning?" I raised my eyebrows after taking a long sip of beer.

"Meaning... plan the future and don't fuck up."

I stared at her and nodded with a small smile. I knew she was right, and she was not the only one who told me to not fuck it all up this time. I really didn't intend to, and I knew I wouldn't. I had lost Olivia before, and I had learned from that. I was not going to lose her again.

I was a bit tipsy when I got back home but she didn't even notice me. I stared at her, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of black panties, standing in front of the tv in the living room as old songs from the 90's played full volume in the background. I was pretty sure I recognized a Backstreet Boys song ending and just as I thought it couldn't be funnier, a Spice Girls song followed and she started dancing and singing very loudly. I started laughing but she didn't hear me because of how loud the music was and it made me happy to know I could watch her a few more minutes. She jumped on the couch and pretended to have a microphone as she sang the lyrics and tried to do the dance and when she just started dancing around my living room, I took a few steps closer and she jumped, putting one of her hands on her chest as if it would help slow down the beatings of her heart.

"Fuck, you scared me!" she let out with a chuckle after pausing the music.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at her with a fond smile, thinking of everything we went through and how much I loved her.

"Move in." I let out as she was taking a sip of wine.

She frowned and chuckled again. "What?"

"Move in with me. Here."

Her lips parted and her eyebrows raised before she let out the air from her lungs quickly from her mouth in a surprised way. She licked her lips and cleared her throat before putting her glass back on the coffee table and taking a step closer.

"Are you... sure you can handle that?"

I knew she was referring to the fact that we were different, but it didn't matter. Yea, she was messy and yea it was annoying, but it was such a small problem and I knew we could compromise. In fact, I knew we'd both be way happier if we lived together and I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I could feel it in my bones.

"Yes." I let out in a low tone. "I want your grumpy face in the morning. I want your way too sweet morning coffee... I-I want your mess all over my fucking house, Olivia. I want to smell you when I step foot here after a long work day. I want to start a life with you. I want you to have your own dressers, not just a few drawers in mine. I want to share everything I have with you. I want to share myself with you."

She pressed her lips together and swallowed and I could swear she was tearing up.

"I want all that, too." she admitted, tilting her head. "I want to spend my life with you, Niall."

My lips curled in a big smile. "Then let's take that step. Move in with me."

It took her about a minute but she finally just chuckled and shook her head. "Okay. Let's do this."

REQUESTS

(i changed the first one just a little bit hope its ok!)

[mastreworld]

Be nosy-

1-50

I'm very nosy! 😛

That took me a second but here they are:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Grey-asexual, aro-adjacent, and bi... something (it’s complicated)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Playing Sims 2, but I feel like it’s about to shift. Not sure what’s next.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Not beyond alcohol, no. I wouldn’t be against trying space cake one day but that’s more for curiosity's sake.

4. What piercings do you want?

I have one in each ear; can’t think of any other I’d like to have.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Not sure... between 5 and 10 maybe? I’ve never been a fan of kissing tbh.

6. Describe your dream home.

With a space for everything so it doesn’t get so /#(&% cluttered.

7. Who are you jealous of?

No one that I can think of.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Don’t have one right now. I’ve been watching “Cold Case” but that’s not really a show you can binge on since it’s so tragic. I do occasionally go on a “Final Destination” binge-watch though.

9. Do you watch porn?

No, I gave up on that decades ago because it was all so boring and disappointing. I can, however, enjoy gifs and pics.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Not secret but I have a cat-blog @cattyfelines , one writing @mastrewritingupdates and one @naughtymastre that I no longer update because tumblr fucked it up in their sex-negativity 🙄

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

That... I really don’t know. I support teleporting as a way of traveling though.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

To snuggle up against Loki in bed with my face against his neck, his arms around me and my leg over his hip... sorry, got a bit carried away in the details, heh.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Absolutely not! *shudder*

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

Making sure that I and my daughter remain financially secure for the foreseeable future. I would also finally feel free to donate to any causes I want to support, so I don’t feel so powerless in the world.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Nope, and I prefer singlehood.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

I did, but they seem to have disappeared so I guess they got tired of Tumblr’s fuckery and moved elsewhere.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Not unless I allow myself to think about it. My anger gets triggered by bullies and bigots, especially if they act controlling.

18. What tattoos do you want?

One of Loki’s helmet and the words “God of Mischief” and possibly one with some kind of cat.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I changed my first name slightly by omitting part of it and just leaving “Marie” back in my twenties. I also tried to change my last name to “Strega” but the patent laws in my country wouldn’t allow it so I added it as a second first name instead (and use it in informal situations.)

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Nutritional science keeps coming back in my obsessions. As does various languages I want to learn.

21. Describe your best friend.

Lives in India, writes naughty Loki fics, and sent me a box of beautiful things recently 🥰 She’s also adorable.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Uhm...@MCU Loki?

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Meatloaf, Buffy Sainte-Marie, FR David, Modern Talking, Belinda Carlisle... though I’m more into individual pieces than artists.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I’m really not much for traveling but it might be fun to go back to London one day. Also considering visiting Amsterdam at some point. And I’m getting curious about India.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

All alone. Snacks at the ready. Favorite music. Indulging shamelessly in one of my favorite games.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

People who won’t respect the word “No” (or boundaries in general).

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

I’m originally Swedish so my thoughts revert to Magnus Härenstam and Brasse Brännsström, lol. There might be someone more recent but it’ll pop up after I’ve posted this, most likely.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Probably “Thor Ragnacrap”.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

Can’t. I’d just disappoint them due to not being able to keep up the contact.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

After careful consideration and trying out both, I prefer paper books. E-books are practical though, so I still have some.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Don’t know... Probably one of my own making.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Tailored to my taste and body shape. Soft materials. Black pants and short jackets. Colorful tops. A mix of masculine and feminine. Comfortable shoes with heels.

34. What’s your coffee order?

None, I can’t stand coffee.

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

None beyond Loki. I crush easily but mostly on fictional characters since they are more interesting.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Nope. They killed those thoroughly.

37. Have any tattoos?

Not yet. Maybe I get around to it someday.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. I drink wine when invited somewhere and I like sweet dessert wines and creamy liqueurs, but I can’t have more than two glasses or I get sleepy.

39. Are you a virgin?

No, that was a long time ago.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope, but I feel affectionate towards them.

41. How many followers do you have?

1661 as of this moment.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Slender, black hair, male but with a bit of an androgynous vibe. Intense.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Sweet-tasting food.

44. Do you read erotica?

In the form of fanfic smut, yes. I rarely come across anything good among mainstream books.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Never officially dated, so can’t say.

46. How many people do you follow?

213

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Uh... I don’t do marriage.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

Respectful, kind, open-minded, and quiet. Dominant and feral in bed.

49. Who do you text the most?

My disability coach, lol.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny without being hot.

This was fun!

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2019 Edition)

For the past thirteen years, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. 2019 was… a nightmare that I can barely believe I survived, but I still kept some promises that I honestly did not expect I ever could.

This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

The Promises I Made (2019 Edition)

1) Be more proactive about tracking and following up with struggling students to decrease the number of students who drop from my class when they realize they cannot pass. Status: Somewhat broken? I tried really hard to be proactive with my students; however, there were some massive issues outside the classroom this year that made it extremely difficult to keep the focus on the students. When administration drags your attention away from the class, there is not a lot you can do…

2) Find a place to put in volunteer hours because uhhhh like this is actually important to my work evaluation and I definitely need something to write in that section… Yikes, this spring is my last chance to do this!! @_@ Status: Kept. I volunteered with the Utah Shakespeare Festival and it was super fun!

3) Install the fire escape window in the Utah house, no matter how much it might cost, because I can’t get a totally unrelated tenant in that basement without said window… Status: Somewhat kept. Okay. This one is a LONG story, but to be fair to me, I worked my ASS off to try and make this happen; just every single thing in the world prevented me from completing this promise, up to and including the city telling me I needed a permit AFTER I had already dug a massive hole in the ground for the window…

4) Buy sod to add grass to the front portion of the lawn so that it no longer looks like garbage. Status: Broken, but I did buy grass seed and put that out there. Unfortunately only some of it sprouted, but there is indeed SOME grass now growing there…

5) Fix the bricks near the windowsills on the Utah house to prevent long-term damage. Status: Broken. After dealing with the stupid window disaster, I had no time for this at all.

6) Get a watering system for my roses at the Utah house because I think my bro is probably killing them and that’s just not cool. Status: Broken, see above.

7) Work on the patio at the Utah house before it just flat out falls down. Status: Somewhat broken. Again, I tried to make progress on this—I called a patio guy to come out and assess how much it would cost to fix the patio—but the price I was quoted was so high that there was nothing I could do at the time.

8) Paint the stairwell so that there’s no chance of anything like lead paint or asbestos being exposed. Status: Broken. The leftover wallpaper glue continues to confound me…

9) Trim the backyard bushes so the neighbors don’t hate us anymore… Status: Broken. We trimmed a few bushes and at least got to the trees out front, but definitely a majority were left uncared for.

10) Move into a new house in Texas where I can get real internet, please for the love of god… Status: Kept. I moved into a very nice house with no scorpions!

11) Save money for my upcoming trip to Japan! 2020 baby! Status: Uhhh, broken. I’m not sure how I thought I’d be able to move into a new house AND save money for an international trip at the same time…

12) Get my wisdom tooth removed because it’s still there and still killing me, yikessss. Status: Broken. AUGH. I’m an idiot.

13) Make an appointment with an eye doctor for like the first time in years. Good job, Yehn, good job. Status: Kept. I got my glasses fixed and even got a new pair of glasses too!

14) Get my prescriptions refilled because I’m dwindling on asthma medicine and like… I could die from this… I should never have been left to care for myself; I’m not mature enough for this responsibility… Status: Kept, surprisingly. But I still need a new doctor because the last one I was going to wouldn’t give me any refills…

15) FINISH THE GIVEAWAY PRIZES I PROMISED LAST YEAR because holy shit I am incompetent and the worst and everyone has permission to hate me for starting things and never finishing them, fuck. Status: Broken. So broken. I am the worst.

16) Go dolphin watching in the Gulf for real this time. Seriously, it’s $10 Yehn, you can do this. Status: Kept, amazingly. It wasn’t as impressed as hoped; however, there was a lovely sunset.

17) Return to the Channel Islands to take better pictures. D; Status: Broken. T_T

18) Level all my classes to 70 in FFXIV before next expansion, please. Status: Somewhat broken. I didn’t have everything to 70 before the expansion, but I kind of feel like I should get credit for this one, because HEY, look at me now:

19) Organize and properly label all the photos on my computer so that I’m no longer desperately combing through folder and folder in blank confusion, looking for a single picture in a sea of thousands… Status: Kept. It took me like eight hours of work, but I actually did this.

20) Update Home and a Half more than once? PLEASE??? The guilt I feel over this currently is crushing. Status: Broken. And the guilt grows…

21) Complete the online American Literature class I am designing on time and with no corrections needed. Status: Kept. I’m counting this as kept even though TECHNICALLY there was one thing I forgot to finish and it came back and bit me in the ass; however, I was approved with no corrections needed.

22) Earn 100% completion for Kingdom Hearts III. So excited! Status: Broken. Um… This just didn’t happen.

23) Update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Somewhat kept. I wasn’t any better about sending cards really, but I did at least save all the birthdays in my phone so I remember them.

24) Get the garbage disposal in the Texas house fixed ASAP so I don’t have to wash the dishes by hand anymore because I absolutely hate that particular chore. Status: Kept. Then I moved, so it didn’t even matter.

25) Finish all the books my coworkers and friends bought for me recently so I can thank them for their recommendations! Status: Broken. So broken.

26) Actually move into my new place instead of leaving it completely undecorated and lifeless. Status: Remarkably, kept. Nothing has plastic on it, unlike at my old house where the nightstand didn’t get unwrapped even after two years of living there lol.

27) Try hard to get Creative Writing into a different area of the general ed. core so that more people will enroll in it. Status: Kept. I’m counting this because I did my darn best, but we are still waiting on the state to tell us whether or not the class will be accepted.

28) Get caught up on my Ebird reports, even the old, old, old ones I never put in because I was slacking. Status: Kept, actually. Whoo.

29) Throw away/return/sort all the stacks of old mail in the house (OMGGGG they’ve made me look like paper hoarder and I’m nootttt). Status: Broken. There’s just… a lot of papers to go through…

30) Clean up the garage before moving so that I don’t have to fight spiders to move when the time comes. Status: Broken, in that I did not clean up the garage in advance and did, in fact, have to fight spiders when it came time to move.

31) Find a way to boost grading productivity so that each class takes only two days to grade, maximum. Status: Somewhat kept. I was definitely better this year than last year; however, I really think the “two days per class” thing was too optimistic, so for the future semester, I allotted myself three days per class and I think it will work better.

32) Go to a totally new restaurant and try their food. Status: Kept. We went to a Mexican restaurant and I had trompo tacos (al pastor) which is probably not anything special to anyone else but it was my first time so lol.

33) Cancel old credit cards to make sure my credit is good before trying to buy a house (although I just checked my credit score and I’m in the great range already, so this is mostly for posterity’s sake). Status: Broken. But it didn’t affect my loan, so I guess it was okay. And it ended up being good I didn’t cancel my Best Buy card because I was able to get good financing on the new appliances I needed for my house.

34) Get official contracts from my tenants so I can use my rental income in my next loan calculation. Status: Broken, but I ended up not using that as part of the loan calculation anyway >_> so…

35) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate all my retirement accounts into one. (Man, look at all these ADULTING promises.) Status: Broken. Look at me failing all these adulting promises.

36) Really finish decorating my office so it looks super cute and all my students want to visit me. Status: Broken, but I think it sucks that I have to write this because it was really not my fault I couldn’t finish decorating my office. Our offices were all moved and disrupted by building remodels so I spent the entire year basically working out of a couple cardboard boxes.

37) Not sign up for ANY more new responsibilities at work in the spring semester. This is the biggest challenge. D; Status: Kept, by technicality. I was able to avoid signing up for anything new in SPRING… But fall… was a whole other story. XD

38) Migrate all the rest of my books to the new Texas house instead of leaving them in Utah… SOMEHOW. Status: Kept. I’m going to count this as kept. The only books left at the Utah house are my manga—I managed to bring literally every other book, which is very impressive considering I had only my small Camaro with its tiny truck space.

39) Use my twitter account more often to make it worth following. I will try!! Status: Kept… sorta? I mean, since I didn’t use the account AT ALL before, making even one Twitter post kind of counts as using it more, right? >_>

40) Keep my hair cut nicely so I look less like a mess (than I really am). Status: Somewhat broken. Although I think I got my hair cut more often this year than before, I don’t think I looked any less like a mess. XD

41) Successfully find a bridesmaid dress for my friend’s wedding that matches the rest of the wedding party. Status: Actually kept! It was incredible. The wedding I was in was even featured in a magazine because of how pretty it was!

42) Make sure my skin is in good condition for the wedding so I don’t look like a disturbing ghost… Status: Kept? I mean, in the end, looking like a ghost ended up being the whole point since it was a Halloween themed wedding so I kind of won either way.

43) Complete my BNHA manga collection. Since my bro bought me a bunch of the volumes for Christmas, I might as well. Status: Broken… I bought like… one volume. XD

44) See a groove-billed ani. (It’s another type of bird.) Status: Broken. Very illusive bird. T_T

45) Respond to messages, asks, and comments more quickly. I promise I’m not ignoring people… D; Status: Um, broken. I left many people on read this year, sorry.

46) Lose ten pounds so that I feel more fit and comfy. Status: Broken. I didn’t exercise at all this year, uff.

47) Pay down credit card debt by at least 1/3. Yikesssss, I really need to do this quick. Status: Broken. It’s hard to pay down a credit card when you pour all your money into buying a new house…

48) I will finally fucking finish that chapter 73 analysis of Noragami… I swear to god… Status: Broken. Uh yeah. This didn’t happen. V_V

49) Reach 1700 followers on Tumblr. You should follow me—I’m only marginally a waste of time and space! Status: Kept. Over 2500 followers now!

50) I will keep these promises. LOLLLLL. Status: Somewhat kept/somewhat broken. One year I really will keep them all…

 Totals Kept promises: 18 Broken promises: 24 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 8

Well, there are more kept promises than last year at least… It was another really hard year, what with moving in the middle of the year, over-working, dealing with so much drama with the reaccreditation on our campus, and just EVERYTHING all at once this last year… I keep thinking things are going to calm down and then they never do. Please 2020… just let me rest…

My new set of promises will be up on the 1st!

[lost-incident-kid]

Happy Birthday Miyu Sugisaki (for tommorow) might do some art for her idk

———

Edit: ah heck! Ive had this queued for months, but i forgot to actually do the art haha, i’ll get something done overnight so it might be rushed and look like trash, it might look reasonably ok. Who knows at this point. I dont trust the sleepy version of myself to create anything good but hey, theyv created some stuff that wasn’t horrifying before :/

Ok, starting here i legit just start live-blogging myself staying up alnight drawing. Ignore me. I didnt know where else to say it. I’ll delete it later.

Edit 2: this isnt gonna be done. Like frick, i just spent 6 hours on miyu’s fricking hairstyle, thats all done and even shaded and looking fabulous but ive only got a rough lineart for litterally everything else. This might not be done, but if it is then her hair is gonna be a fuckign masterpiece (i hope). Im writing this edit at 1:42am, and im gonna go to bed somewhere between 4 and 5, lets go! Hell yeah! I might do this! Perhaps! Im gonna try! 3-4 sprint time! Yeah!

Edit 3: frick, im failing to do this, miserably. Its 3:03am and i got distracted playing mobile games and didn’t get anything done. My existence is futile, existentially im a waste and I should not exist. The atoms within me deserve to be part of something better. Sorry. I’m a f*ck up and unless I get my sh*t together in the next like 5 mins (unlikely) then this aint gonna be finished.

Edit 4: ok, meltdown like 20% over. Its 3:52am, I think the issue then was the face. Faces r hard bruh, they suck do draw. They a festive lil ho ho ho. I was drawing everything too high up on the face cuz my dumb *ss forgot to draw the line thingys on the face or even look at a reference image for proportions. Ive done it now amd life is now a bit more on track. Might get this done if I continue work in the morning.

Edit 4.5: nothin much (hence the .5), its 4:14am, just downed 4 cups o tea for caffeine and sugar (all the coffee we got is decaf lol). I’m gonna get this sh*t done! Ive litterally only coloured down to the face, neck and the hair but still.... I’m gonna get it done anyway! I dont care about going to bed between 4-5 anymore! I’m getting this done!

Edit 5: its less than ten mins later (4:22am) and im taking a quick 20m break to watch youtube while I wait for the caffeine to kick in because im too braindead to continue right now. Like what art style am i even trying? Idk... its really fricking complex tho. Lowkey pretty tho, like if i finish this im gonna be so proud of it like it looks great. But its taking forever and im need break.

Edit 6: ok we back. Its 4:41am, caffeine has not really kicked in but i cant permit myself any more time anyway. Back to drawning.

Edit 7: holy frick, new episode of the vrains dub came out. Man... im leaving vrains fanart to watch the vrains dub. Am I obsessed? Is this hyperfixation? Probably? Either way, its 4:50am and im going to go watch the new episode. I’ll come back to this when im done.

Edit 8: HOLY FRICK GUYS! THE DRAWING APP IM USING KEEPS CRASHING AND SAYS ITS STILL THERE BUT WONT LET ME CONTINUE AND KICKING ME OFF THE APP?!?! ITS 5:06AM AND THE PANIC ATTAC IS BACC! The new episode of the dub isnt completely out yet, im watching that version on yt where its just smol clips of it. Not all the clips r up yet. I was just going on it while waiting for the next clips to go up and thats when the app did the thing and life got 280% sucky-er.

Edit: 8.5 wahoot it stopped kicking me off the app and it let me continue. Its 5:12am and we are FINALLY continuing.

Edit 9: its 5:36 Im tired sleep time I’ll finis thos in the morning goodbye yall have a greatt day

Edit 10: ok, so im a failure. We live in the timeline that god abandoned. I cannot sleep. I shall get more cups of tea, watch yt until the caffeine actually kicks in, and then continue. Its 6:03 right now, I shall be back. Perhaps half an hour?

Edit 10.5: its 6:11am. Not much has happened, just a slight change of plans. Ik its irrelevant but im liveblogging so i gotta say, my eye hurts so im gonna stop looking at screens. Perhaps gonna try to sleep again, if not then i’ll put read a book, redo my makeup (it smudgey) or straight up just listen to music and stare into the void. Litterally anything other than look at my laptop/phone. Peace out homies, i’ll be back at some point before 7 probably (unless i do go to sleep).

Edit 11: Its 6:41am, my eye hurts. Ive been staring into the darkness and listening to various fallout boy songs. Now i feel edgy. Its been half an hour, so im gonna continue drawing. Caffeine and sugar has worn off again so im tired and unmotivated but yno what, it is what it is. Aint life nifty, i gotta get this done.

Edit 12: 6:52 everything burns im in pain my eye is on frickign fire and it looks bloodshot but now also weird azz headache that i never got one like this before so im gonna turn off all lights cuz that seems to make it marginally better am i dying probably idk either way im not gonna continue for multiple hours it is stare into the void time and stare into the void time alone ok this should be the last update

Edit 13: It is 3:16pm, didn’t continue liveblogging cuz i got one heck of a migrane. Im back and well... Happy birthday Miyu for today! I’m still gonna try to get this god forsaken art done, but holy shit what is that art style i did. Its genuinely nothing like anything ive done before, I don’t remember doing any of the colouring but apparently I did and it looks better than anything ive done before and idk if non-fricked up me can replicate it. I’m starting to wonder if i got bored and just copied it or something, like idk how i did it. Look at it

The grey is the lineart I remember doing but man tHE FRICKIGN HAIR like i couldnt have created that, could I? I can see why it was taking so long yesterday like holy shit man that stuff takes time yno

[musiclovingbitch]

Oh I want all of them 1-50!

Fuck. I brought this onto myself. Putting this under a read-more so that people don’t kill me.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I don’t think any of you know this but the first fic I ever wrote was a Shameless one-shot that was titled ‘Mine’ and it was just semi-good, semi-bad smut. The first and last fic I ever posted on fanfic.net, actually. I deleted it years ago and didn’t save a copy, so it’s gone forever now…

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

My most recent fic is Part, written for the 2019 Klaine Advent Challenge, and also the gleepotluckbigbang. I’m fallen majorly behind cause I have some studying to do, so I may take a long while to finish the rest of the klaine advent.

It’s much, much better than Mine was, lol.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh, that’s so difficult. While I’m not happy with everything I’ve posted, there’s a bunch that have a special place in my heart. Escape came to mind first, partly because I love older!Blaine fics, which is kind of shocking to me cause it’s one of the very first fics I ever wrote, and statistically I tend to like my older fics less.

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

I have looked at the numbers before, though not recently, so I have an idea.

I think Escape is the reigning queen right now, actually, but Incapacitated by Love and The Effects of Cookies on Shy Teenagers are gunning for her crown, lol.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I don’t tend to reread any of my fics, but like I said, there are a few that I love. Escaped and Incapacitated by Love are two of them, along with Together, I Need A Gangsta, and Question.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Uh, one of the reasons I don’t reread my fics is the cringe factor, so, no. I reread Mine a couple of years after I posted it and it made me delete it, so. I think it’s in everyone’s interest that I don’t.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, so, not in that regard, but.

When I first posted I Need A Gangsta, I had a surprisingly large amount of people asking for a sequel. It’s been years since I posted it, but last week I started thinking about it and I have a little bit of inspiration, so. You may wanna look for that in the upcoming months. (I have exams coming up, be patient.)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Again, I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, but.

I got asked for a sequel to one of the fics I wrote for the 2015 Klaine Advent, Wish, which is inspired by Aladdin. I haven’t gotten around to it yet… *hides in shame*

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nah. I’m not sure if I could. Although, I do usually write AUs, so. I think some of them could fit pretty much any pairing.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

I hadn’t read any Shameless fanfic before writing and posting my own. But I read klaine fanfic for years before I attempted writing it.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Nothing specific comes to mind right now? I do occasionally get inspired by prompts, (and you can all blame @slayediest​ for reblogging them onto my dash) and they obviously get used by a whole bunch of people, but usually inspiration for different fics comes a little more naturally, like I’ll hear a song or whatever. 

I did write a fake dating au and I was nervous about writing it, I took more care than usual if that makes sense, and that was both because it’s such an iconic trope, but also because it was a gift to the delightful @lilyvandersteen​, so I was even more anxious than usual after posting it cause I was waiting to see if she liked it or not.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

There are so. many. fics. in my drafts folder, but all but two are unfinished. Those two that are finished but not published I just don’t like very much. I keep them with the intent of re-writing the parts I don’t like and posting them. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll get around to that.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I’m more comfortable writing now than back when I first started, I guess? I was way more hesitant then.

I do write better smut now.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Let’s just say I’m into some kinky shit now and it’s definitely because of late nights spent on AO3.

Trope-wise, not much has changed about my preferences.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Nah. I don’t vibe like that. The words don’t come out of me.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Nope.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

It’s definitely Closer. I was debating not posting it and it has more hits than it has words, I really don’t get it.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

I’m not sure. I feel like I’d be nagging if I said, oh hey not enough of you guys read/liked/reblogged this fic of mine. 

People have their preferences. I’m okay with that.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Fuck. Maybe Together? It has the mix of intense angst/sappy romance that you’ll find in my fics 100% of the time.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

I haven’t, and I don’t think I will. I don’t tend to linger over fics once I’ve posted them.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

This has happened three times and I loved it every single time. I would definitely check out their profile, yes. 

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Are you kidding me? Literally all of you, yes. Fandom royalty has read my work, bitches. 

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh, god. Someone commented that I made them cry, it was the best, it made my entire week.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’m very lucky in that aspect, I’ve never gotten hate in regards to my fic. 

I did write a fic where Blaine and Sam were teaching a CPR class that Kurt was in, and at the end, I had Sam interrupt them while they were speaking, and someone left a mean comment about Sam? I smelled fandom wank and did not engage.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Haven’t gotten any of that.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I like making people feel things. If you tell me I made you feel good or bad with my fic, I’m going to be delighted.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single-fandom fics.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Glee, obvi. I’d never give you cuties up.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Well, although I have considered writing for some of my other fandoms, it just hasn’t felt right. That may change in the future, and that’ll be an interesting day.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I think klaine has become such an important part of my life that I don’t see myself giving it up entirely.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I don’t think I have ever gotten any character perfectly right, but that’s okay. It helps that the majority of my fics are AUs, so I don’t feel a lot of hesitation having them do or say some OOC things.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I think I’ve nailed Kurt and Blaine at different scenes in different fics, but no particular character comes easy to me.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Rachel kind of takes over sometimes and I have to go back and edit things out, lol. That’s just her diva way.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I think the one that surprised me with just how much response it received (I know that phrasing is wrong but I can’t be bothered right now) is Incapacitated by Love. Who knew people in the glee fandom had a thing about police officer!Blaine.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I keep klaine as the main focus, so the backround couples switch up ocassionally and I don’t particularly care.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Not that I can remember.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

I don’t think so?

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

Not really. Although if any of you consider yourself to be a loyal reader of mine, please let me know.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No, that’s kind of the worst part about my muse, she’s a flighty bitch.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

AO3 is the best. Tumblr can suck my dick.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

Incapacitated by Love has 1554 hits! Wow.

43. Your least popular?

Ground has only 95 hits, but I posted it a few days ago.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I have no idea what this question is asking.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

AU all the way, baby, although that’s apparent.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

No, I think I have a very specific style. I dither in between gut-wrenching angst and tooth-aching fluff. That’s it, that’s my fics.

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There’s too much gay porn and I’m too closeted for this shit.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes, one friend of mine knows, although she doesn’t know what I write, or for which fandom(s).

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Of course it’s had a massive impact in my life. It’s a huge creative outlet and I’ve ‘met’ so many people because of it! I think it’s like 85% positive.

[kenkamishiro]

Ishida’s Q&A comments from YJ compilation, Part 8

Once again Ishida continuing to give answers that don’t actually answer the questions at all lol.

For anyone who doesn’t know about the relevant Questions to Ishida contest, please read here. You can start from Part 1 here.

The recent set of zakki:re and interview translations take a lot of time and effort, so if you enjoyed it please reblog or leave a like. Thank you!

2016

No. 1

Still 1 month left of this year! What’s something you still have left to do for 2015?

The storyboard.

Good luck.

No. 2

Sensei, please share with us a piece of news that was important to you in 2015!

I forget.

I wasn’t feeling so great in 2015.

No. 3

December 17 is Airplane Day! Now then, please share with us a memory you have that is related to airplanes!

I like the window seats.

Probably that time on the plane to head to the New Years party, when the staff was forced to stop because of me...

[T/N: Referring to his New Year’s party escapades in the volume 6 omake.]

No. 4-5

December 24 is Christmas Eve! Now then, please share with us a present that you want now as an adult!

I don’t need one since I’m an adult.

Even adults want presents too, you know!

No. 6-7

When you think of New Year’s Day...you think of New Year’s money!! Please share with us one way you spent the money you received from New Year’s when you were a child!

On games.

I was jealous of other people’s families since I didn’t have a lot of relatives.

No. 8

Sensei, please tell us your philosophy when it comes to food!

I think of meals as work.

I consider meals as work when I’m eating alone. When I go with people I eat whatever I like.

No. 9

January 28 is the birthday of the late Komatsu Sakyou! Now then, please share with us one of your favourite sci-fi works!

Gantz.

It’s not Star Wars...

No. 10

Please share with us one aspect or behaviour of the opposite sex that you unconsciously care about!

Their face.

How they use social media.

No. 11

Please share with us a Twitter account that you’re most interested in now!

Inagawa Junji-san’s for his ghost story tweets.

I find that accounts of artists are helpful for studying.

No. 12

Please share with us one of your favourite genres/videos that you end up watching on video streaming sites.

I got Netflix so I could watch Terrace House.

I still use it.

No. 13

If you were to ever film a Taiga drama who would you pick as the main character?

Siebold.

But why?

[T/N: A Taiga drama is a type of long-running TV drama period piece, often produced by NHK.]

No. 14

Graduation season is in full bloom! Now then, please share with us one of your favourite graduation songs!

“Lion” by Amano Tsuki.

Uh-huh, yup.

[T/N: "Lion” was one of the songs included in Ishida’s Spotify playlist.]

No. 15

Sensei, if you could decide the design of the 10,000 yen bill, who would it be a portrait of?

A cat.

A cat...?

No. 16

Today is Weekly Manga Day! Please tell us your number one favourite manga that is released weekly!!

I’m curious about what Ooima Yoshitoki-san will draw for her next manga.

Just how much do you care?

No. 17

Sensei, please share with us one thing that makes you go, “Man, I wanna go see this,” now?

Commentary on demonstration boards for shogi.

I went to one! Man, was it interesting.

No. 18

The final day of March is...Orchestra Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a memory you have that’s related to musical instruments!

I bought a piano recently, and I’ve been playing it almost every day.

And I still play it.

No. 19

Entrance ceremony season has arrived! Now then, please tell us about a schoolteacher who’s left the biggest impression on you!

Some student hacked the school server and the teacher intercepted the culprit.

That’s the kind of school I attended.

No. 20

New dramas are starting one after another! Now then, please share with us a series that’s left the biggest impression on you among all the dramas that you’ve seen recently!

Right now I’m currently watching Mad Men.

I watched all of Mad Men. I can’t believe what happened at the end of “Meditations”...

[T/N: Not entirely sure what Ishida meant by that last line, but I think “Meditations” refers to the last episode of the second season, titled “Meditations in an Emergency”.]

No. 21

Sensei, please share with us one game that’s popular in your circle!

The staff and I often play Mafia a lot together.

Recently we’ve been playing table RPGs.

No. 22-23

Today is the day in which the elephant was first introduced to Japan! Now then, please share with us a person/thing/culture from overseas that you would like to come to Japan!

David Downton-san.

I don’t think that.

No. 24

It’s that time of year where it’s getting warmer even at night! Now then, please share with us something about hanging out at night that you still remember!

That time I went drinking at a bar in the outskirts of Tokyo with Takahashi Kunimitsu-kun.

I don’t want to go there again.

[T/N: Referring to that time in April 2016 where Ishida and Takahashi were at a bar and a middle-aged woman started hitting on Takahashi for 3 hours lol.]

No. 25

May 19 is Boxing Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us what you thought was the best match ever!

I like the match with David Haye.

Clearly it’s Darth Maul vs. Obi-Wan.

No. 26

Please share with us a story about a debacle that you or someone else caused at a drinking party!

The first time I met Nakayama Atsushi-sensei, I made so much of a fool of myself.

I was so piss-drunk that I fell asleep in the bathroom I think.

No. 27

When you think of June you think of June Bride! Now then Sensei, please share with us a story that you remember that has to do with weddings!

I drew the welcome board for my friend’s wedding.

That time I left early since I didn’t want to be late for my senpai’s wedding, but the flight ended up being delayed by over an hour...

No. 28

Sensei, please share with us one of your favourite literary works for children!

Ringing Bell by Yanase Takashi.

Stormy Night.

[T/N: Ringing Bell (Chirin no Suzu) was referenced in :re by Kaneki during Arima’s death scene. You can read about it here. Stormy Night also seems to have influenced :re.]

No. 29

June 16 is Wagashi Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a confectionary that you like!

It’s not available in Fukuoka, but sweet mochi cake.

I want some now.

[T/N: Wagashi is traditional Japanese confectionaries.]

No. 30

June 23 is Olympics Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a competition from the Olympics that you still remember to this day!

Uchimura Kouhei’s horizontal bar performance at the London Olympics.

I don’t really watch TV much, so questions like these are tough for me to answer.

No. 31

Please share with us your slogan for the latter half of 2016!

I won’t be late. I wasn’t able to keep that promise for the first half of the year.

Good luck with that.

No. 32

Sensei, please secretly tell us about one shop that you think is the King of Restaurants!

The Chinese restaurant by my previous workplace.

The stir-fried oyster with lettuce was perfection.

No. 33

Summer has arrived! Now then Sensei, what do you think of as “summer food”?

The spicy Mexican crispy noodle salad from Family Mart.

Ah that, that was so good. But I don’t see them sold anywhere now...

No. 34

If you could see exactly one historical event or incident live in person, what would you want to see?

I want to see Tezuka Osamu-sensei’s workplace.

The Perry Expedition.

[T/N: Tezuka is the “father of manga”, having drawn iconic manga like Astro Boy, Black Jack, and the currently airing anime Dororo.]

No. 35

When  you think of summer, you think of the ocean! If you could raise just one sea creature as a pet what would you choose?

An octopus.

So I can eat it.

No. 36

Sensei, please share with us the most nerve-wracking moment you’ve ever experienced in your life!

That time when I had to address a speech to over a hundred people for the launch of the anime.

Finishing the manuscript before the deadline of the final chapter.

No. 37-38

Sensei, please share with us a word or phrase that’s been stuck in your head recently!

“Pandas exploding in the wild.”

It’s from group_inou.

No. 39

Sensei, please share with us a small luxury that you use in your everyday life!

On days I stay up all night I buy carbonated drinks.

Feels kinda pathetic huh.

No. 40

The disbanding of idol groups nationwide is hot news, but please tell us about an experience that you’re still reluctant to part ways with.

A little while ago, I bought a copy of Jump every week for several months.

It was so I could read Hunter x Hunter.

[T/N: Question is most likely talking about the disbanding of the top male idol group SMAP which was announced around this time of the year.]

No. 41

Sensei, what item makes you think, “whoever invented this is a genius”?

The PC.

Amazon.

No. 42

What was the most interesting reception you’ve received up until now that has made you the happiest?

I got a shikishi from the staff to commemorate 100 chapters of being serialized. Though no one from that time is left anymore...

I also got a shikishi from the current staff. I was happy.

No. 43

Sensei, please share with us a moment that’s made you feel the generation gap the most!

Encountering people who were born in the 2000′s.

Sha-Mail.

No. 44

It’s Reader Autumn! Please tell us what you consider as your bible!

Recently it’s “Speak Aloud and Rhyme”.

Now it’s “Drawing the Morphological Human Body with Boxes and Cylinders”.

No. 45

Sensei, please tell us about a manga/anime/novel that you’d like to see as a movie!

I’m looking forward to “Satoshi: A Move for Tomorrow” being released this fall.

I missed the chance to watch it.

No. 46

Sensei, what were you most enthusiastic about playing with when you were in school?

Smash Bros.

Games that are updated periodically.

No. 47

Sensei, please tell us about something that you’ve used for many years and have been unable to throw away!!

I throw things away when I need to.

My Cintiq 22HD (DTK-2000/K1) LCD tablet. The size and responsiveness of it matches it better than the latest model.

No. 48

Sensei, when was the moment you felt you became independent?

If I’m living.

What? Probably when I got my pay cheque.

No. 49

November 2 is Family Culture Day! Sensei, please tell us about a rule that’s only found in your household!

Playing no more than 1 hour of games a day.

That’s proper.

No. 50

Sensei, please share with us any furniture/interior work that you want to replace right now!

The bookshelf.

Same.

No. 51

Sensei, please share with us the first CD you’ve ever bought!

Morishita Reika’s “Your Wind is Blowing” (most likely).

Most likely, yeah.

No. 52

This year has had various movies become blockbuster hits, but in your opinion what work do you consider as a hit?

It’s actually a drama, but Game of Thrones.

I recommend it.

previous || next

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

As previously warned, I have a huge number of questions for the fanfic author ask thing. So, here we go: 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 37 and then, if that wasn’t already enough, and there is anything you want to answer that I haven’t already asked, then pick one of your choosing to answer as well! 💕

Holy crap you weren’t kidding! lol this is gonna be so much fun!

4: What made you start writing fanfiction?

My 3rd grade teacher, Mr. Gula, gave me a challenge to write out my own ending to my favorite movie or TV show. As I was never really one to back down from a challenge, I went home and wrote out my own story about the first Transformers movie and another one about what I would do if I had been in HIgh School Musical. Yeah... needless to say, I was the Hermione of my grade.

5: Favorite pairing?

I know I don’t write for them, but my top is probably either Dee Dee and Frankie from the Beach Blanket Bingo, Bikini Beach, and Muscle Beach type movies or Seaweed and Penn from Hairspray. Something about those types of romance are sort of sweet to me. Guess I’m just an old soul. I also adore Cory and Topanga form Boy Meets World, but I’m mostly here for the older romances.

6: Least favorite pairing?

I’ll probably get flack for all of my answer, but I’m a little bit opinionated about this lol. The way Ginny and Harry’s relationship in the films was, was just confusing and so not what I had expected from them. The books gave them so much more than the movies ever did. The books were way better. Another case I don’t like was Bella and Edward/Renesmee and Jacob from Twilight. I think the other relationships in Twilight were better (Jasper and Alice are so sweet!) and Stephanie Meyer just kinda tossed Bella and Edward and Renesmee and Jacob together in the hope it would work and it just didn’t.

12: What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever written?

I can’t believe I’m admitting to this.... I used to write full stories about One Direction. I had a full Niall x OC story I posted on a 1D Imagines group on Facebook that got almost 2,000 likes. It was silly, but, my word, it was almost as long as Broken Record. It spanned over the month of October 2014 and I can’t believe it ot the attention it did. It wasn’t all that good, but I guess it was good enough for people to like it, so that’s alright by me lol

13: Weirdest fic you’ve ever read?

I don’t believe it’s on fanfiction anymore, but I remember the basic info on it. It was Make a Wish by FireBladePrime. It was pretty much a girl made a wish on a shooting star and it made her favorite toys come to life as full size humans. I believe she ended up falling in love with one, but I’m pretty sure it just ended up being something that she came up with in her head when she was in a coma due to a car accident. Definitely a weird one, but it was pretty well written as far as memory serves.

14: Do the people in your life know you write fic? How do they feel about it?

Well, quite a bit of my family knows, actually. It started with just my parents, but my dad was always wanting to show off whatever his baby princess did (I was his only biological child, my older siblings were from my mom’s ex-husband). Dad shared with his siblings, mom shared with her siblings and my grandfather. My nieces and nephews know as well, but I believe that’s it. As far as I know, they are all very supportive and have no problem with it. My neice, Lorali, and nephews, Erek and Drake, have read all of my Teen Beach fics and quote things from them daily just to see if I’ll react, but they mostly just like reading them or having me read to them. They’re very loving and supportive of my writing.

15: Favorite fandom to write for?

I don’t know if I could pick one! I love Teen Beach so much, but I also have a certain affinity for writing small oneshots or “x Reader” style stories for Avengers and Harry Potter which can be found here and here. I do share the Harry Potter page with my sister, but she handles reblogging things to our page. Anyway, those would probably be my top fandoms!

17: What is the harshest criticism you’ve ever gotten on a fic?

Holy crap. Okay, I may or may not have repressed this for a long time, but I have more than one that I can’t decide between. The other one was from a girl in my class who stole my writing notebook and read my writing. Fuck you, Ashley She gave it back to me later that day with marker scribbles all over my writing. She said that I was horrible. The next day, I stole the makeup bag she had brought from her mother’s bathroom and buried it on the playground.

I was a good child that believed in getting even. Nobody found out about that btw.

Anyway, the first real criticism I had on a fic was someone who said, “You have no talent and you shouldn’t be writing. It all sucks and you’ll never go anywhere as an author.” I had actually written this down and, when I felt it no longer mattered to me, I burned it. It took me a couple of years to come to the realization that their opinion didn’t matter to me.

 20: What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic?

Having time to sit down and write, probably. I usually have great ideas, but, in order to write them out and have them come out alright, I would need to sit down and feel it all come together while I write. I need time that I just don’t have most of the time.

21: Your biggest strength?

When I sit down to write, it all just flies out of me. Once i start, I don’t stop until my idea is all out into either m notebook or my computer. I can have a simple idea that somehow spirals into an eight page chunk that I never thought was possible. I like to think of that as my biggest writing strength.

24: What’s your process?

Write out the “backbone plot” (The stuff that has to happen, no matter what)

Decide on characters. Figure out appearance, personality and basic traits. (Sorta like a sim, I guess)

Bounce ideas with whoever will listen/listen to music (Gain ideas and write them in a small notebook)

Wait for inspiration and time to line up accordingly.

Write as much as I can.

Go back into that later on and edit what needs to be there and delete what isn’t necessary.

Publish!

I hope that’s what this means, at least.

25: Of all the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite?

Most definitely Broken Record and Creating a Rift. It was one of my first published stories and I just adore them.

26: Which of your fics is your least favorite?

I don’t even know how to find it anymore, but it was called Life’s a Rollercoaster. It was a Transformers fic that I had written when I was 11. Never finished it bc I lost the login stuff and it, now that I remember it, sucked hard.

27: What’s your most popular fic? Do you think the popularity is warranted, or is there another fic that you think deserves it more?

Any of them really! I love that Broken Record has had almost 10,000 reads, but I don’t believe it. As I go back over it, I wonder how on earth it gained popularity in the first place, but I couldn’t be happier that it did!

29: Which of your fics was the hardest to write?

My book. Probably the Christmas one, tbh. I only feel the pull to write it around the holidays and that kinda sucks lol

30: Favorite fic writers?

You better know you’re number one, girlie! For those who don’t know, Eleanor here is one of my closest internet friends and she’s practically family to me at this point!

As for other authors, I love Ulurnaga’s Primary Mechanisms story (Transformers). I know she hasn’t updated it since 2014, but it was so good that she could’ve left it at multiple parts and it would’ve been fine. I think it has abot 118 chapters to it. I have a few favorites from AutobotGuy710 who does a lot of Transformers stories basing around adoption (helps for my references and also a better understanding of what goes on a bit in adoptions/foster care). On Tumblr, I have a few faves, but not a ton. I like imagine-and-marvel and potterlyimagines fics a lot, but that’s about it at the moment as I haven’t sat down to read fics in a little while.

31: Do you write just for fun, or would you ever consider pursuing writing?

A bit of both, actually. I mostly enjoy writing my fics as a bit of an escape from reality. I enjoy being able to place myself in a world that doesn’t exist and sort of play around a bit. However, I do actually write as a job. I was working for my county newspaper for a while and that spiraled into me writing my first book, Feather Picked. I am currently writing one of the sequels to Feather Picked which takes the focus from my original main character, Melody, and moves it to her best friend, Roxy. I am planning on publishing a total of at least 5 books, the first four being the chronological 4 that take place over the course of a full year, each taking one season. The last one will be a look into the future, hopefully.

My first book can be found here!

33: Fanfiction pet peeves?

Goodness gracious. As someone who loves English classes, when people don’t place paragraphs correctly or spell simple words correctly, it reeeeeeally grinds my nerves. I will still sit through a story if it’s a well plotted story, but, come on people, at least do proper paragraphing!!!

Also, when people spell “definitely” as “defiantly”...... uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh

36: Which charachter(s) would you never write for?

For this one, I don’t really have much to say.

Probably characters from shows like soap operas or shows that never seem to end. If I can’t grasp the character’s backstory or personality after watching it because it never stops changing whenever it benefits the story or what the writers have planned, I refuse to write for them. 

Mary Sue types like Bella Swan who are merely the damsel in distress  and are only there to play out the author’s wish to be put in some type of scenario where everyone fawns over them constantly (can be applied to male characters as well).

37: Which character is your favorite to write for?

Out of already made characters: Butchy, Lela, Cheech, Evie, Ben, Harry Hook, Bucky Barnes, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood.

Out of my OCs: Mick, Malina, Roxy Madden, Candi DiMaggio

Since you said I could pick one if I wanted, I’m going to pick #40.

40: Imagine yourself 10 years in the future; do you think you’ll still be writing fic?

I think I will be, yes. I don’t think my ideas for movies and books will ever stop. Especially knowing what I have planned after Creating A Rift is done. But... that’s a story for another time, lol

[closetspngirl]

I dare you.... ALL of them. Yeah... I said. All. Of. Them. hehehe

Just remember...you asked...

If anyone else is even remotely interested in reading some/any/all my answers to all 100 questions, see below. For the rest of you, I hope the keep reading tab works...

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? Yes

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Not sure yet

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” A cat?

4: what’s something you really want right now? Well a couple things...pick a coast...

5: are you afraid of falling in love? Sort of. I’m currently watching it crumble before me...and I’m not sure I can do that to myself again.

6: do you like the beach? I love the beach!

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes

8: what’s the background on your cell? A black and white of Jensen playing the guitar. My lock screen is a digital painting of Genevieve’s Ruby.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on? Umm...huh? Mine, my coworkers...a family friend...and I guess my mom’s?

10: do you like your phone? I do.

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? I mean...no? But they’re looking up.

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? One of the sales ladies at work.

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Neither. 

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Probably emotional. I’m a total empath so I can be super sensitive. 

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Depends on what art exhibit is going on.

16: are you tired? Yes. I got 3.5 hours of sleep and this is your cruel way of keeping me awake for at least another hour. lol. It’s a good thing you’re cute. 

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? As long as I’ve been at my current job, just over a year.

18: are they a relative? No.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Fuck. No.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Uhh...like 30 minutes ago (when was the kiss is a WHOLE other question)

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? If I knew that that was it for either of us, yet. 

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I mean...maybe on the cheek in a ‘have a nice life’ kinda way

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One

24: is there a certain quote you live by? Oh wow...there’s a few that I like but I’m horrible with recalling them.

25: what’s on your mind? a lot of things...

26: do you have any tattoos? I do, three, four is getting added hopefully this year, for sure next year (or it might be five at that point...)

27: what is your favorite color? Purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? August

29: who are you texting? Does tumblr messaging count? If so, you, and the person I’m texting

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yes

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Hope she likes it...

36: were you single on valentines day? I mean...strictly speaking, no. Did I go out and do anything? No. I was working.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Uhh...hard to answer.

38: what do your friends call you? By my name, or a few different nicknames

39: has anyone upset you in the last week? YES.

40: have you ever cried over a text? Yes. Both good and bad.

41: where’s your last bruise located? Oh goodness...uh...I think it’s the one on the side of my right knee

42: what is it from? Who the fuck knows...it just showed up one day.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Yesterday, day before that, Saturday, almost every day last week...

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? Personal phone: R. Work phone: sales department.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My converse

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? I hate hats.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? Never

48: do you make supper for your family? I can, am able, rarely do.

49: does your bedroom have a door? Yes, thank god.

50: top 3 web-pages? Tumblr, IG and...my portfolio currently I guess since I’m trying to update it.

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? Yeah...me. lol. Ok, not completely true. Clothes shopping is a huge hassle. 

52: does anything on your body hurt? Yes. Head, neck, back, stomach, feet (gotta love a kitchen job)

53: are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on the goodbye, mostly yes

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Uh...probably coffee

55: how is your hair? It’s fine, thanks for asking. HA!. j/k. It’s up in a messy bun and headband

56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Turn off my alarm, See who messaged me and get ready for work

57: do you think two people can last forever? I think it’s possible, as long as both people want it.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?  No

59: green or purple grapes? Green. Purple grapes are too sweet for me.

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? Probably...Friday when L is back at work. Otherwise, August.

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Yes. Didn’t I already answer this? Pick a coast...I want to go there.

62: when will be the next time you text someone? Later tonight

63: where will you be 5 hours from now? In my bed. Asleep. So help me Chuck if I’m not.....

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Uhh...just waking up for the third time.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? Other than Jensen/Jared/Dean/Sam? Uhh....Oh I guess I was crushing on B a little...but that ship has long sailed. 

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Absolutely. 

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hugged L. I’m surprised he’s not tired of me yet. lol

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? That I really need to be better at letting shit go.

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yes. 

70: how many windows are open on your computer? Windows? One. Tabs...? 10.

71: how many fingers do you have? 8 plus two thumbs.

72: what is your ringtone? Priceless by for KING & COUNTRY

73: how old will you be in 5 months? 31

74: where is your mum right now? South Dakota

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? A long list of really shitty reasons.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Definitely

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? At 7? Let’s see...first grade...I don’t think I had a crush on anyone. I remember there was this kid Ben that I hated because he used to take my stuff all the time. OH!! There was this really cute blonde boy that I can’t think of his name right now. He was only there for that year and then left.

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? Yes! My best friend’s dad. lol. He’s like my second father.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Umm...I mean technically speaking? Yes...the way I wanted it to be? No. It was more that I fell asleep with my head on them and then they nudged me off so they could roll over...

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? HA! Well....B...R...J...three. I’ll go with three.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Yes

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Already am

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? I wouldn’t do that, but if I was...probably my friend Carrie...

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? I mean...probably?

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Well...I can’t even remember the last movie I went to go see...I think it was maybe Brooklyn, with my mom. So not a lot other than watching the movie. 

87: who was your last received call from? Work

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Only if it was already dead. Otherwise, no.

89: what is something you wish you had more of? energy...?

90: have you ever trusted someone too much? Yuuuuup.

91: do you sleep with your window open? When I can.

92: do you get along with girls? I do

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Am I keeping a secret? Yes. Do they need to know? No.

94: does sex mean love? No

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Uhh...it’d be boring AF

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No

97: did you sleep alone this week? Yes. Have been for months now.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I’m working on it. I’d like to think so.

99: do you believe in love at first sight? umm...maybe? not entirely sure

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? Oh lord...I don’t even remember. lol

Thanks for the challenge!!! xoxox

[ughdesighhns]

50 questions tag.

I was tagged by this cutie @looney-joonie

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Work and sleep 😔✊

2. What makes your day better?

when I get to relax and sit around drinking water with lemons in it.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My sister brought me a chipotle bowl 😔✊

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

all of the island regions in Pokémon / TARDIS

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Definitely depends on what it is but I try my best.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Not that I know of..

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Im honestly not sure because I can’t tell if I’m just dreaming about one or if it’s real.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Many, but in terms of art , BTS and twenty one pilots.

9.have you ever fallen in love?

I wouldn’t say so..

10. What’s your dream date?

going to thrifty stores or hanging out and playing uno or video games lol

11. What do others notice about you?

Tbh idk

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Stealing clothes and pausing anime to rant.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

lmao no way

14. How many exes do you have?

Lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

I like to cull and update a lot of my playlists so they actually never get too big but the fattest playlist I had was around 400 songs.

16. What instruments can you play?

Piano and ukulele (badly)

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

i actually am not sure but it’s making me super curious. But I think the answer is anatomy photo shoot pictures in reference for my art annd then probably blurry pictures of Yoongi.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan, Iceland & the town where I grew up.

19. What is your zodiac?

Sad Sagittarius sister

20. Do you relate to it?

I can’t ever remember what the deal is with Sagittarius’s personality and stuff but i know whenever I read stuff concerning it it’s usually right on the money so I’d say yes sort of.

21. What is happiness to you?

When you can hang loose and Live in the moment (id type a huge thing but I have zombie brain rn )

22. Are you going through anything right now?

yes a lot, I don’t exactly want to talk about much of

It but I am going to be graduating high school soon so that’s somethin’

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Ehm pass

24. What’s your favorite store?

World market ( fun house & bath stuff ), changing hands bookstore (used books) , Zia records ( vinyls, cds and nerdy stuff )

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

decision should be left to the individual.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

It’s not actively something I keep track of but yes.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Holy fuck there are too many.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Return trip to the beach

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

I’ve been told I’m intimidating but friendly. Which I don’t get I’m the biggest wuss ever

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Literally 16 because I am young looking.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

I keep it on my nightstand beside my bed on night mode. Before I kept it on night mode I would find it in my hand in the morning or across the room...

32. What word do you say the most?

“Like” “something like that” “oof”

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

24.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I don’t date people younger than I am. especially since I am 18, there’s an awkward maturity gap. (from my own personal experience I guess)

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

I sometimes get Public relations wtf? But I get told Tattoo artist more often.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

alternative, rock and rap.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Sweden or japan.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Dope on a rope - The growlers / pink - no rome

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Dunno...

40. What are you excited for?

Finishing a manga I’ve been working on and submitting my art portfolio to be graded 😔✊🌸

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Once I start talking I won’t stop but I love listening to people rant.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I made some mounts for my art pieces and I finished drawing a page of a manga I’m working on.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

U. 👀

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Lol world history and art where strong points for me

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

Kind of a 4 to be honest.. ( mostly bcuz I’m sleepy )

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

I’ll be 28 so hopefully getting married haha

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

When I was 15-16 I broke up with a friend while I was moving away. ( it sucked but I’m glad I did it )

48. What age do you want to get married?

Around 27 or 28.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Omg a ballerina or artist.

50. What do you crave right now?

Sleep and the next ep of AOT season 4 😩

There we go whew.

A lot of people ik have already done this so I won’t tag a bunch but Ik @eektheart hasn’t 👀 hehe

[adventuresasmrsfindley]

I had a really great baby appointment today!

So I wrote after my last appointment about how discouraged I was because the NP made me feel bad about my weight. They also ordered special ultrasounds for the rest of the pregnancy because of it (biophysical, I think they’re called? They check the baby’s movement and size, etc). So I had one today and everything was perfect and the ultrasound tech even said she thought it was really weird they had ordered that much testing for me because I was not nearly as overweight as the people who usually have that done. She said she was shocked when she saw me and even double checked my chart because she thought there was no way I needed all those ultrasounds. So that made me feel good and she said she would talk to my doctor to see if we needed to do them the rest of the time. (they had to do it today since it had already been ordered I guess)

So when the nurse came in to take my BP after the ultrasound she asked how tall I am and I told her between 5’10 and 5’11. She was like wow, that explains a lot. Apparently at my first appointment someone put my height as 59 inches. Which is 4’11. 😂 So looking at my weight on a person who is 4’11, yep I’m sure i did seem extremely overweight! But I’m a whole foot taller than that. So they updated my chart and the doctor confirmed that I’m right on track for weight gain and he is not concerned at all and cancelled the rest of the ultrasounds. I feel so much better. That really had me stressed out because I have tried to be very conscious of my weight gain. (I’m up exactly 20 pounds in 36 weeks). I also didn’t gain any weight in the last 2 weeks which I was proud of. Baby weighs (around) 6 lbs 10 oz right now. They said they are usually within 1/2 pound of the size the ultrasound shows so he could be a little bigger or smaller than that. He is measuring 6 days ahead.

Anddddd! I’m already 2 CM dilated and 50% effaced. The doctor said that’s great for a first baby. I’m so happy it wasn’t 0 lol I just want to be making progress towards labor because I am sooo ready. He said I could stay this way for weeks but we will have a better idea of how I’m progressing after my check next week when we can see if those numbers have increased. And baby is head down. The doctor said he felt the head when he checked my cervix. Speaking of, that was not super comfortable but it wasn’t that bad. It was quick. And I told him I was nervous because I’d never had a male doctor examine me and he explained everything he was doing and was just super nice. He didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all and afterwards he said I handled it really well for it being my first pregnancy/first ever check. I really hope he’s the one on call when I go into labor. I definitely like him the best.

Wow that got long lol but it was a great appointment and I feel good! I go back every Thursday until baby comes, which hopefully is only one or two more appointments 🤞🏻

[myforeverforlife]

50 Random Things Tag!

The always lovely @crossandchange tagged me! (thank you!)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Netflix. Since I’m on spring break, I’ve been relaxing by just going through episodes at a time. I’m limiting myself to four episodes maximum in a day. 😂

2. What makes your day better?

Getting extra sleep!

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I managed to finish a good chunk of my homework, and I’m hoping I can finish the rest by the time I head back to school.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I don’t really know?? I used to say Hogwarts, but like definitely a post-Harry Potter world (as much as I love magic, I’m not looking to be killed by Voldemort) Now, I feel like any place that’s got magic and is generally peaceful is fine with me, haha

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Ehh, it depends for me too. I’m horrible at relationship advice, and I’m always like”Why are you asking me?? I’ve literally only been on a handful of dates”. I’m more of a shoulder to lean on and someone to empathize with rather than someone who gives out advice. I feel weird about it, like I’m being pushy and telling people what to do or something?

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

No, I do get anxious about things but it’s not the extent of being a constant looming presence in my life (which I’m really thankful for)

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Nope! (also thankful for this lol)

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Kacey Musgraves! I really am not a country music kind of person, but she is such a talented lyricist and singer, and she has such a soothing voice! Her lyrics are also witty and fun to decipher.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Twice, but they were very innocent and naive. I liked someone from kindergarten all the way until 7th grade, and then someone else from 8th grade until 11th grade. Both times, I was like head over heels, but both times we were just friends and I never confessed.

10. What’s your dream date?

Honestly just doing anything that keeps us moving (going to the beach, party, carnival) I hate having to sit in one place for long and I’d be pretty antsy 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m tiny! And that I look young for my age.

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

When I get nervous or bored, I pick at the skin on my thumbs. I know it’s so bad, but I’ve been doing this since I was a kid, and I’m glad it’s gotten A LOT better since then (i made the main character in the upcoming ksoo fic have this habit too haha)

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, we stopped talking in high school and grew apart. But we didn’t end our friendship on bad terms or anything, we just had really different friend groups and interests by then.

14. How many exes do you have?

Zero!

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Oh god I have too many playlists. I have one I listen to before I go to bed and it has like 200 songs.

16. What instruments can you play?

A tiny tiny tiny bit of piano.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

School pictures. Like pictures of stuff we made in my class because we have to make a portfolio of everything we did at the end of the semester 😂

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Also Japan! Or South Korea.

19. What’s your zodiac?

Aries!

20. Do you relate to it?

Aries are like the stubborn, hot-headed people right? That’s definitely me. Like I’m a big listener and listen more than I talk, but if I really disagree with someone and our decision is gonna end up affecting something big (grades, other people, etc.) then I am always 100% backing my own opinion and trying to convince the other person to see the same thing or at least see some of the benefits of it.

21. What is happiness to you?

Finding a bit of peace where you can relax and know that even if other stuff is stressing you out right now, you have this moment to just focus on the here and now.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

I’m always going through it. I’ve got a 12 page (minimum) paper due at the end of the semester, and I’ve been so annoyed with the fact that I can’t work on continuing fics. It’s been months since I updated anything, and I know that I have school stuff to take care of first, but it still gets to me seeing all these projects I wanted to have gotten done by now.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Literally any decision where I decided not to speak up when I was feeling lost or unsure.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Ooh, this is a hard one. Maybe Sephora?

25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion?

Pro-choice. I don’t like to judge others for their decisions, and hope that they respect mine as well. Forcing other people to go through with a pregancy that they aren’t prepared for/that they don’t want/that could end up being terrible for their health is wrong to me.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, but I’ve been trying to get in the habit of writing one out. I do have tiny lists on my phone or on post-its (shopping list, homework to do, due dates)

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I can’t pick one! Some of my favorites are Gfriend’s Rainbow and Snowflake albums, EXO-CBX’s Blooming Days, EXO’s Exodus and of course, Jongdae’s April, and a Flower! I also used to love BTS’s The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 2 (I listened to that on repeat for a good month or so omg)

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A durable and cute purse. I’ve been using the same one since high school, and it’s still holding up but I want a more “professional” and “mature” looking one.

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

That I’m quiet. 😂 People assume that I’m very shy (which is partly true) or that I don’t want to talk to them (which is almost never the case)

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Kids think I’m a teenager, people at school think I’m a freshman or sophomore in college.

31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping?

Next to my pillow.

32. What word do you say the most?

Either “Oh god” or “What the heck”

33. What’s the oldest age you’d date?

25

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date?

20

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you?

A teacher (which is good cause that’s what I want to do, haha)

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Pop in general!

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be?

Maybe Japan?

38. What is your current favorite song?

Gfriend’s Love Whisper!

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since November 2017

40. What are you excited for?

Getting through this final semester!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Definitely a listener. I like listening to what other people have to say!

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Get started on my monster 12 page paper and finding references for it.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I never know! I guess I’ll get ideas as it gets closer to the date.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

English

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

5. I’m like half-dead from doing all this homework, and my eyes have been a bit red from staring at the screen 🙃

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully teaching! If not, just working with kids in any form. Marriage isn’t something I need, but I do want to have kids and pets, so hopefully I’ll be in the process of/have had adopted.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

At 16? Or 17.

48. At what age do you wanna be married?

I really don’t have a preference. I’m of the mindset where if I get married, great! If I don’t, that’s still great! I’m glad to just have supporting friends and family, and while it would be nice to be married, it’s not something that I feel I need.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an author or a doctor!

50. What do you crave right now?

Sushi!

i’m tagging @byunfirstlady @g-exo @abangtanfangirl @trishmarieco @daelicious-jongbulge @marshmallow-phd and @crazy-gingerbread-lady