#2. the idea of asking for forgiveness is just more romantic than demanding an apology and i want them to kith

[myapathyhaspeaked]

i don’t want crowley to demand aziraphale do the apology dance. i want aziraphale to push crowley into a chair and make him watch him do that stupid little dance. it feels more satisfying.

[hobisenby]

please make a part 2 to affinity but romantic it was so goooodddd

Affinity pt 2 pt1

Neither of them were sure where it all changed, and what caused it. It used to be affection between two close friends, those who trust and comfort each other. But when did it include romantic feelings? And what would that mean for Yoongi and y/n? It left both of them confused and insecure about their bond, scared that somehow they were gonna mess this up. Scared that they wouldn't be able to hold in their feelings anymore. Scared that their friendship would end right there and then.

Which leads to where we are now. In order not to slip up Yoongi had decided that it would be best to take some space from being around y/n all the time. He knows its unfair to them, but he also knows he can't be around them when all he wants to do is kiss them whenever he sees them. Besides, it's a totally stupid idea to date one of the other members! Isn't it?

Y/N has noticed his change in behavior though. They used to be inseparable, joined at the hip. Where yoongi was you'd find y/n, and vice versa. So how wouldn't they be able to notice? He's barely around anymore. And the hardest part is that they don't even know where it went wrong? Did he get annoyed by them? Did they do something to make him angry? Did he notice their more than platonic feelings for him? All these thoughts creep around in their head at night, making them insecure and sad. Maybe this is the end of their friendship, maybe this can't be fixed.

-

Another few weeks of Yoongi avoiding y/n and faking affection in front of cameras. He's smart, no lie. He knows that if he also cuts off from their where their fans could see they'd catch on. And judging my theories and predictions you could say they're pretty clever. It wouldn't go unnoticed.

But y/n keeps hurting more and more, feeling tears rush to their eyes whenever he walks out or ignores them. They hate that he keeps leaving the room when they enter, that he doesn't listen to them during group conversations, and that the only words he spoke to them the past few weeks were "did you see my laptop". They're convinced it's their fault.

He hates me, they think.

-

They lay awake at night, crying and panicking, trying to come up with yet another way to get Yoongi to talk to them, but to no avail. They've tried everything. He won't budge.

The realization hits them as they choke out a loud sob, feeling anxiety gripping at their heart and lungs. Its getting harder and harder to breath the longer they keep going at it. This isn't the first time they've had a panick attack over this situation, it hits them hard. Losing the one person that you trust and love with every viber in you and it might be your own fault all together.

The volume of their sobs and breaths keep raising as their head starts pounding. Everything blurs and the only thing they can focus on is the fact that they can't properly breathe anymore. No matter how hard they try, no air fills their lungs. Everything is too much. So much that they don't even hear the frantic knocking at their door. Nor the voice telling them to let the person in. They don't hear a thing except for their own.

-

It is late at night when Yoongi lays awake, thinking and stressing. The upcoming comeback is really weighing down on everyone, and the thing going on between him and y/n isn't helping him at all. Of course he feels bad. Fuck, he feels awful every time he catches their sad eyes or the tears threatening to spill. But he can't seem to bring himself to approach them. To apologize. He thinks its for the best, considering his feelings for the other haven't faded away yet. And even if he does want to apologize, he fucked up. He doubts they'll forgive him that easily, he's been a horrible friend to them.

After about half an hour he decides to get out of bed and maybe grab a glass of water. Maybe the little walk and hydration will help him calm down so he can sleep.

As he walks out of his room he spots the door to y/n's room, feeling an eerie feeling coming over him. Something feels off but he just blames it on the guilt he feels inside. He pushes it aside and keeps walking past the door and to the ki-

"What the hell is that?" Yoongi whispers to himself, hearing a sound coming from y/n's room. It doesn't sound like a normal sound, he hasn't heard it before coming from there.

As he hears the sound again he comes closer to the door, wanting to know what was happening behind it.

And he hears it again.

"Y/N are you okay? Open up please." He says, trying to open the door, but to no avail. He recognizes the sound all to well, having been the one they came to whenever they felt like this. The sobs, the shallow breathing. He hates knowing that they deal with it alone now, surrounded by nothing but coldness and shadows.

He knows its wrong, ignoring and avoiding them at all costs only to demand for them to open the door right now. A friend should be there not only through hard times, but also to laugh with. But he fails to notice be a friend until he hears them being like this? God, he hates himself.

"Please y/n..." he begs, but once again they don't respond to him. Nor do their sobs quiet down, they're full on breaking down in there and he feels powerless out the door.

He considers his options, but immediately denied the one where he leaves. He doesn't want to leave them now, not when they need him the most. So he figures he needs to take some more,,, extreme,,, measurements.

-

Y/N has their hands in their hair as they try to gaso for air, the hard breathing turned into barely breathing. They feel like they're about to pass out. Their usual methods don't calm them down, and they can't seem to do anything else other than cry. They don't hear the door come off its hinges. They don't notice the man approaching quickly. Not until they feels arms around them, pulling them into something solid. A chest? A soft voice is heard, barely audible above their breathing and crying. "Hey, hey, calm down. I'm here, you're okay. Just try to breathe for me okay?" Yoongi speaks, trying his best to remain calm and keep his voice low. He has experienced them like this before and found out they don't hate being touched during attacks, and they told him the best way to handle this with them. He takes deep breaths, chest breathing excessively, hoping that way they're able to feel his chest raising and falling. And luckily they do.

After a while of mimicking his breathing and listening to his soothing voice they calm down enough to breathe properly. They stopped crying mostly, sniffling here and there.

"Are you okay?"

Y/N pulls away from Yoongi's embrace, looking kind of offended at the question. Their face tells him he shouldn't have asked that.

"No, of course I'm not fucking okay Yoongi!" They whisper-yell, knowing fully well that the other members are most likely asleep by now. The shake their head in disappointment and sigh, "thanks for helping, could you get out now? I'd like to go back to sleep." They dismissively wave towards the door and turn back to their bed, waiting for the sound of the door closing.

But it never comes.

They turn back to Yoongi, ready to scold him and say some more but are taken back when they really take him in. Huge and dark eyebags. Bloodshot eyes. He looks tired and sad. This isn't what they are used to with Yoongi. He used to look to lively and happy around them. And now it has changed. For both of them.

Before y/n can say something Yoongi speaks up. "I... im so sorry." He mumbles, keeping his voice soft and sad. He looks ashamed, probably feeling bad about this entire situation. But y/n doesn't have it, a simple sorry doesn't make up for the entire situation he put them through. "I don't care." Their voice is raspy and laced with spite. "You ignored me Yoongi! You deliberately avoided me and didn't even look at me. What did I do?" The question comes out as a whisper, tears once again welling up in their eyes. They hate it. They're not weak, not at all, but whenever they get frustrated they start to cry.

"What? No? Baby, you did nothing wrong! Please..." yoongi slips up, but y/n chooses to ignore the petname, deciding its not the right time to address it. "Then what happened, Yoongi? Why are you doing this. Did I do something? Do you not want to be around me anymore?" The tears once again fall, their voice cracking and their hands shaking. Their while demeanor of wanting to be strong while confronting him is falling and there's nothing they can do about it. "If I made you angry I'm so sorry. Do you hate me? Please im so so-"

"I like you."

The room falls silent.

"You what?" "I like you. I'm so sorry. I started to avoid you because I was hoping my feelings would face, but they didn't. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Yoongi rambles, forcing himself to look in their eyes, but feeling the urge to look and maybe even walk away. But he forces himself to be strong, he doesn't get to walk away from this. Not when he caused it in the first place.

Y/N blinks as their mouth opens and closes several times, clearly trying to come up with a response. But they can't. They know they like him back, but they don't want to just forget all this and live happily ever after with thim. This isn't something you can easily move on from. "Yoongi, if you think I'll forgive you now because you l-" "no! You don't have to. I know I fucked up. And I know things won't be the same from now on. But after seeing you like this I realized what I was causing. So I figured you deserve the truth. Once again, im so sorry. I shouldn't have let it come to this."

Y/N nods and gives a weak tight lipped smile, nodding his was. "We won't be the same. But we'll try."

"Why would you give me a second chance so easily?" Yoongi gapes at them. Yes of course he's glad he's getting another chance, but he didn't expect this.

"Because I like you too. So I'm willing to try."

[niallloverontheloose]

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/650079336900313088/for-years-fandom-has-talked-about-wanting-stiles#notes

@russianspacegeckosexparty: For years, fandom has talked about wanting Stiles to “heal” Derek but what they mean is they want self insert stan in a Stiles Nametag/Fanon!Stiles to *enable* Derek’s toxicity, and also while claiming that Derek’s way of running a pack is the Right Way, they suspiciously have him acting exactly like Scott who’s methods they sneered at

@princeescaluswords:

I wish I had a simple answer for you. It would be easy to laughingly dismiss it as ‘just racism’ and move on. Racism is a huge part of it, but it’s not the only part; it’s a situation-well mixed with patriarchal precedence and a fundamentally self-serving and immature application of Christian doctrine (I’m speaking as a Christian myself). Our culture has created certain expectations in the way we approach the behavior of white men.

As long as they show emotional depth, attractive white men are entitled to forgiveness for their bad actions without the need to redress those actions.

The sad part is that this phenomenon exists outside of the world of fiction and fandom. How many white men have had tearful press conferences apologizing for their bad behavior and then its back to business as usual?

When the Sterek shippers create a Fanon Stiles to support/heal/enable Alpha Derek, they very often indulge in this idea. To them and their insert, who Derek hurt is immaterial. To them and their insert, what Derek did is immaterial. The only thing that matters is that a powerful and attractive white man was openly emotional, and so, to them, it’s simply unjust for the narrative or the audience to treat him as less than fully redeemed.

What did Derek do in response to his betrayal of Paige to her death? He cried about it. What did Derek do when he unwisely bit Jackson and then abandoned him to become the kanima? He looked pained and stomped around the screen yelling at people who weren’t responsible. What did Derek do when his decisions to conceal information got Erica and Boyd killed? He looked sad and stricken. The show, in a completely inadequate display of consequences, ‘redeemed’ him by having him give up the alpha power to save his sister (and fandom reeled in shock at this tiny bit of redress, so much that they kept rejecting it).

Fandom doesn’t even recognize all the things that Derek did to Scott - from concealing information, to bullying, to selfish manipulation, to betrayal, to brutal assault - as bad behavior. How many times have you read Fanon Stiles say “he may have been an asshole, but he was trying to help!” when Derek lied to Scott about the cure, betrayed him to his uncle, and have his or his minions try to beat Scott into submission?

Derek experiences strong emotions, therefore, all his actions are immediately ameliorated by his pain, but only because he’s white and good looking! His family burned! His sister was murdered! So that makes his attempt to hunt down and kill Lydia on a hunch absolutely okay.

Compare this to the absolute condemnation of Scott for saying an insensitive thing to Derek and to pretending-to-be-catatonic Peter after nearly getting caught by Kate and Chris stealing a bullet to save Derek’s life. Compare this to the raging hellfire wished upon Scott for being blackmailed by Gerard with a knife to his gut, a tail wrapped around his mother’s throat, and claws to his lover’s neck?

It doesn’t stop there. Peter Hale has legions of defenders not because he expressed remorse for his terrible onscreen actions but because he refused to express remorse for them. In fact, he defended his vicious murders and attempted murders and violations with passionate bullshit. They swoon over the fact that he murdered his own niece so much that they make up excuses for him that he refused and create fantasies of the Left Hand.

That’s why, when grappling with Season 5A, they don’t care that Stiles was a lying traitor. They only care that he felt really bad while he was being a lying traitor. (And they’ll come at me, screaming, that he was being blackmailed too, while turning around and call Scott a rapist in Master Plan. And no, Scott wasn’t a traitor in Season 2; he was deceiving villains – both Derek and Gerard. That’s the difference between Scott and Stiles. Scott finds a way to defeat the villains while Stiles… Stiles cries about it. But that’s all a white male character has to do be considered a hero.)

My problem is that fandom’s reflexive urge to forgive every single good looking white male character not only permeates the fandom but it also influenced the show. That’s why Scott had to listen to Stiles whine about the way Scott looked at him in Codominance but the fact that Stiles assaulted Scott was never mentioned again. That’s why Liam’s apology tour was so completely fixated on Liam finding a way to live with himself, that he never bother to ask if Scott was okay, or Mason didn’t scold him for leaving Scott dying on the library floor to go hug a girl that was already dead. After all, Liam was feeeeeeeeling.

Art imitates life. Fandom has lowered the bar so much for attractive white male characters that all they have to do is… I don’t think there’s anything they can’t do to be automatically healed by the fandom. Yet they cover that with making the act of forgiving white male characters an act of love.

//

So Stiles is a “lying traitor” because he’s a victim of assault and blackmail and because he didn’t share his own traumas with Scott like Scott and his Stans demanded… but Scott is a “hero” even though he kept lying like a rug, sold Derek Hale and his Pack out to the hunters in exchange of Allison, conspired with Gerard behind everyone’s back, and violated an incapacitated rape victim to save his own ass? Make it make sense, antis

“How many times have you read Fanon Stiles say ‘he may have been an asshole, but he was trying to help!’ when Derek lied to Scott about the cure, betrayed him to his uncle, and have his or his minions try to beat Scott into submission?”

Funnily enough, I never read a Sterek fic in which the author uses Stiles to justify Derek’s behavior. But I’ve read PLENTY of fics written by the Scott McCall defense squad members in which Stiles, Lydia, Kira, Allison, Mason, Liam, Chris, Cora etc are reduced to he author’s Fanon Self Insert and used to excuse/justify Scott’s toxic behavior.

But maybe PrinceEscalusWords is referring to when the TW writers & producers had Masson Hewitt (a gay black character) justify Scott and tell Corey Bryant (a gay character and the boy Scott assaulted and mind raped) to get over it, because:

“I know the last time you saw Scott wasn’t his best day. But he’s trying to help! More than most people would!” (5x09, Lies of Omission)

‘cause apparently nothing is more ‘romantic’ and ‘progressive’ than telling an abuse victim to get over their own trauma and abuse and then trying to paint their abuser as a kind, compassionate hero who just had a bad day in Jeff Davis’ book

“My problem is that fandom’s reflexive urge to forgive every single good looking white male character not only permeates the fandom but it also influenced the show. That’s why Scott had to listen to Stiles whine about the way Scott looked at him”

Actually, Stiles is the one who had to listen to Scott whine about the way Liam looked at him.

[Teen Wolf 5x13, Co-dominance]

STILES: So, what did he want?

SCOTT: To help.

STILES: You gonna let him?

SCOTT: Eventually, I guess…

STILES: Okay, but shouldn’t he be a little higher on your priority list right now? I mean, since he’s the only other actual werewolf, your only actual Beta.

SCOTT: You didn’t see the way that he came at me! You didn’t see the look in his eyes!

STILES: Well, I’ve been with you on a full moon, so I’ve seen that look.

STILES: You want to get the band back together, Scott, you don’t leave out the drummer.

“And no, Scott wasn’t a traitor in Season 2; he was deceiving villains – both Derek and Gerard. That’s the difference between Scott and Stiles. Scott finds a way to defeat the villains while Stiles cries about it”

Except that Scott never defeated a single villain in the actual show. He even failed to assassinate a terminally ill old man who was already dying in Master Plan. Scott is pretty good at whining and at taking credit for his friends’ heroic actions and achievements, though. And that’s all Scott has to do to be considered a “hero” or become a “true alpha”

[crispyapplepies]

AkuRoku Defense pt 2

Axel and Roxas’s ship has had one of the most bizarre fandom journey’s i have ever come to witness. It has gone from being one of the most popular ships maybe ever, to being dead cancelled over a supposed age gap and I find that completely unfair, especially when it speaks to so many innocent people who emotionally depend on the ship, (yes innocent includes the spicy people because art literally is not a crime). So its time to defend it.

Brief Review on Nobodies vs Aging

First of all, l already explained in part 1 what the Nobodies Don’t Age thing means but I’ll go over it again briefly, since it can be confusing, though also many people seem to demand their hands be held rather than use their imaginations to understand. Even so, here’s the short version just for a review:

-A person in KH is made of a heart, body, and soul.

-The body reflects the heart in KH. (See: replica bodies taking on the appearance of the heart that’s inside them). 

-A nobody lacks a heart, making them just a body and soul. They’re advanced zombies of sorts.

Nobodies do not age because they have no heart for the body to reflect. This is why they won’t change until they form one. Change includes age

-Ergo, you can imagine any age you like for Axel to be nobodied, cuz he was frozen at that age and did not change for 10 years. Not until he met Roxas. 

We’ll come back to this again later.

Axel Loves Roxas Canonically

Second of all, Axel loves Roxas and you are allowed to interpret that as platonic, familial, or romantic, I don’t care as long as you’re not forcing that idea on others like the ship police. That said, people are allowed to explore how romantic this love potentially is. 

And what you might like to know is that the canon is even open to this. Axel’s love for Roxas is canonically expressed, and if you would like, you can even interpret that love as romantic. See below:

We are going to look at the japanese translation because AS ALWAYS good old SENA is here for the straights and erases the gay, like clockwork. 

In English, Axel says this:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked... He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny... You make me feel...the same...

Axel’s line here in Japanese:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas... I loved him. Being with him... it made me feel like I had a heart. I feel it from you, too... the same kind of....

You may notice that as romantic as the line “he made me feel like I had a heart” sounds, the original can be read as wAY gooier, specifically cuz of this word:

好き: "suki"

Now here’s the thing. Japanese is a pretty vague language which is why context is so important for these things, as well as what you say, and what you don’t say. 

“Suki” is a very key word here because it is often used in romantic confession scenes.

(I have no idea what this panel is from, I apologize lol) 

It CAN mean something casual, like “I love video games”, but considering Axel is saying this with his dying breath, I don’t think we should be treating it as some hyperbole. He is referring to a person and it is meaningful. However. It is still a word with plausible deniability. Japanese has several words for love, “ai” for example being one of the most inarguable means of referring to romantic love. So choosing “suki” still leaves room for the homophobes to disregard it as something not romantic. Which makes it objectively inconclusive. Here is the thing though… they specifically chose that word, suki, a word which IS so often used in a romantic context in many anime and manga. 

They also chose to use that word rather than something objectively platonic. Which means you also cannot conclude Axel did NOT mean it romantically. Given his devotion to Roxas, and the fact that they chose this word of all words for him to say… I’m personally going to assume it’s romantic. You are free not to interpret it that way. But I am because I am considering the fact that they did not choose something strictly platonic. 

(My translator friend actually freaked out when I showed her this, she’s translated and seen enough confession scenes to know what connotations that particular word comes with lol). 

If you’ve read my queer coding doc, you may recall I also go over how this is one of the most important tricks with queer coding. You write something that CAN be viewed as queer but with plausible deniability for straight people to ignore it. It’s a means of protecting oneself and the text from homophobic oppression. It is a legitimate practice. So even though it can be denied as a queer text, it can also very very well be viewed as a definite queer text. We are choosing to queer it here. It is not as explicit as it could be, but it is still very bold, suggestive coding considering the homophobic world we live in, and especially with KH2 being released in 2004. 

“But Age Gap!” (ughhhhh)

We’re back to this cuz I also finally have the Japanese version of that infamous page in the Day’s novel to look at.  

I hope you’ll forgive me if I get a little bit salty but I don’t like to repeat myself lol so I’m gonna try to keep this section short and to the point.

In this interview with Nomura, he expresses that nobodies do not age, and they exist as they were at the time of becoming a nobody. He then suggests Xemnas seems 30 ish.

Now I truly do not care to hold your hand through the process of thinking creatively because you should be using your own imagination, if you have one, to think critically and creatively about what this idea means.

Kingdom Hearts is a FANTASY game. Nobodies are a FANTASY concept. They can break ALL the rules about real life that you want them to. But I will go ahead and explain this for you even though I’ve already done it many times, in this very document even and in other meta posts.

The body reflects the heart. Nobodies are frozen as they are from the moment they are “born”, which is to say the moment they are created. Glorified zombies. They aren’t going to age unless they form a heart. Why does Xemnas look 30? He has a heart! Or he was formed 10 years after TerraNort defected. You tell me. Why did Ienzo age? I dunno, you tell me! Either he formed a heart and didn’t know it, (he’s passionate about his work, he loves Ansem the Wise, any number of things could’ve made him form a new heart), or he was nobodied later in life. Axel is frozen at whatever age he was when he was nobodied, all the while Ienzo could’ve been nobodied 10 years later. It’s a fantasy, and these are fantasy rules. That scenario can happen. YOU decide. Until the canon tells us for sure, your imaginations can run wild with explanations. Even if the canon does tell us, you can still imagine whatever you want for your own headcanons. Freedom is amazing, it’s salty and sweet. 

Now let’s talk about that annoying page in the Days novel people keep shoving in my face.

This one right here. The official english translation is this:

That’s not the worst translation I’ve seen them put out there. But let’s look closer at the Japanese:

 Here, Axel says he thinks Roxas is about 10 years separate from himself, but things like age don't exist for nobodies.

Already that’s making a lot more sense to me for nobodies since we are told nobodies do not age. As such Axel speaking like he is 10 years older would feels almost contradictory when he has no heart and cannot change. 

This wording is important. Recall me saying that Japanese is very vague so all of the context matters. No one is denying that 10 years passed between Birth By Sleep and Axel meeting Roxas. However. Nobodies don’t age.

(please dont make me explain that a third time in this essay alone)

The Japanese and English both express that age does not apply to nobodies, (as discussed above^^^^) and the Japanese furthers this with its wording. They have 10 years of separation between Axel being nobodied, and Roxas existing.  

Axel saying in English that Roxas is simply 10 years younger than himself is rather misleading considering the ambiguity of the original. I can’t fault the translators too much for not understanding this nobody concept so well because it is obviously confusing. However, I do not think Axel was saying Roxas is literally, in real life human somebody terms, 10 literal physical years younger than him. He is expressing that he became a nobody 10 years ago whereas this guy became a nobody very recently, and it shows with how little he can even function right now. A zombie who has been wandering around with no heart for 10 years meets a fresh zombie wandering around with no heart for 1 day. 

I know antis are gonna use it against us no matter what, but at least know that akuroku is not inherently pedophilia nor is it inherently an adult/minor ship.

In many of our headcanons, Axel was frozen at age 18 or 19, with Roxas being 16. Absolutely no one is required to view them with a big age gap because imagination is free and you literally have no right to police it, but also because the canon expresses these nobodies as beings outside of the realm of age. They do not operate under real life rules or somebody rules. Think of Steven Universe where Rose was thousands of years old but only “grew up” as a person when she fell in love with Greg, a human in his 20s-30s who asked her to consider other people’s feelings. Consider the mind of a nobody as a state of Neverland. You aren’t gonna age unless you step out of it and change. Mature. Isn’t it sad that Axel did not feel like he had a heart until Roxas? No wonder people ship it!

Coding is Obvious

Finally I wanna conclude on a simple thought. This interview right here? I’d be curious what the original Japanese actually says lol but the english translation of it says that romantic akuroku was not Nomura’s intent. 

Here’s the thing though. If you know anything about queer coding, you know that using romantic coding between 2 male characters is signaling something. It is not something you should ignore. It would not be there if the characters were meant to be viewed as objectively straight. And for something “unintentional”... there sure is a lot of coding at work here.

From Axel pinning Roxas down and asking him to come home in a very sexually suggestive pose,

to watching the sunset in sheer bliss together just enjoying the peace of reunion,

to watching the sunset together while talking about what LOVE is, specifICALLY romantic love,

To this. And I already told you what this was in Japanese.

I’m not saying Nomura lied…

But I am saying that a whole staff worked together to create these games, and it is very difficult for me to believe that no one thought to say “these characters appear to be romantic, let us change the scene to be more platonic” if the characters were not meant to be romantically suggestive. 

Tl;Dr I wanna live in the timeline where people let you ship akuroku lol

[pixie88]

Revelations

Chapter 8 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: So I had no intentions on writing the next chapter so quickly but this little aussie rainbow lorikeet <(Hoping google out this right you only see these bird in Australia) messaged me with a song she thought would be great for A&E I love it. Check it out! I’d also like to thank her for being a spring board and letting me bounce ideas off her and giving me ideas! She also taught me a new Word Sassenach. So thank you @aussieez​ you are a star! This chapter reveals hidden secrets no one, not even I was expecting! I’m hoping google translation is correct with the Scots Gaelic. This chapter is a bit dark but also has some laughs let’s face it atm we all need to laugh. I hope you like it!

If you like it let me know or if you don’t still tell me why I won’t be offended!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don't want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!  

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Song: Natalia Kills - Problem

Word count: 2086

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, Mild NSFW, Angst & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy 😘

"Tom, what did you mean you had something to tell me?"

"El's, I'll tell you later this is your party! I don't want to steal your limelight!" he gives me a smug look and taps his nose.

"Tell me!" I protest.

"Fine, but keep it to yourself. Like I said, this is your day"

He holds out his left hand I look down and scream "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!" the whole room turns to look at me.

"El's!!"

I pull him on for a hug "I'm so happy for you guys! I need details!"

He laughs, "Why don't you and Adam come back to the flat after this and I'll fill you in!"

"OK, also congratulations!" I'm beaming for him.

~*~*~*~

Later, at the flat "Congratulations to the both!" Adam reaches his glass.

"So, who purposed to whom? Justin, please tell me it was Tom!" I laugh.

"No, actually it was me. You know what he's like with all that gushy stuff Ellie"

"Oi! I can be romantic when I want to be!" Me and Justin laugh.

"So, how did you ask him?"

"Well, It was nowhere near like what you did for Ellie, but I took him to the restaurant where we had our first date, then got down on one knee" I start to get a bit emotional Adams arms come around me.

"Stupid hormones!" I brush away my tears.

Adam and Justin are talking about football, I leave them to it and grab a glass of water. "So, do you think you'd want to be my best woman?" Tom ask.

The biggest smile appears on my face "I'd be offended if you asked anyone else!"

He laughs, "El's there's something else I need to tell you," He looks worried.

"What's wrong?"

"That spat me and Justin had, it was...it was over something I done, something that happened 2 years ago now"

"What is it?"

"Justin thinks you have a right to know, to be honest with you and I think he's right. Jake, I...."

I cut him off, "Tom..."

"Just let me finish! After your Mum and I found out about your drinking I did something stupid in fact, more than stupid I..."

"Tom, I know exactly what you did"

He looks confused "El's?"

"Can we go for a walk?" I ask not wanting Justin to hear.

"Yeah," he takes the last of the milk out the fridge and pours it down the drain.

"Justin, El's wants a tea, but we are out of milk we're just going to pop to the shop"

"Oh, OK" he calls over his shoulder.

We make our way out the flat, it's dark now the street is quiet "El's, how did you know?"

I take a deep breath as we are walking "I got a call from the hospital saying Jake had been attacked, and he was in a bad way. The idiot still had me under his emergency contact but even after everything that happened, a part of me needed to know he was OK, so I went to see him. When I got there he had just come round, so they let me in, he told me what happened and how it was you that put him there. He was gloating telling me how he was going to tell the police you attacked him and how you would go to prison..."

"But he didn't?" he looks even more confused now.

"No, he didn't...."

"But why?!" his tone is demanding.

"Me and you have this sibling kinda bond right. If one of us gets knocked down the other starts throwing punches..."

"El's, what did you do?"

"So, do you remember that armed robber at that jewelers in the city centre nearly 3 years ago?"

"Yeah, of course it was all over the news. They still haven't caught the guys that done it"

"For my birthday that year Jake had got me this bracelet. A couple of months later I was at the hospital with Dad just reading the paper to him. They had printed pictures of everything that was stolen. As soon as I saw it, I felt sick there in this newspaper was a picture of this bracelet he had got me for my birthday. I never confronted him about it because of Dad, I need to focus all my energy on him. So, at the hospital that day when he told me he was going to tell the police who attacked him, I told him if you were to go down for this, I would make sure he went down for a lot longer for armed robbery as I knew exactly where the bracelet had come from and I still had it"

"El's, Fuck! You know if you are ever caught with it you would go down to right"

"That's the thing I don't have it, not anymore. I told Mum everything she got rid of it!"

"How?!"

"You know those new luxury apartments in the city centre 2 streets away from Mums club?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's just say the foundations of that building are worth a lot of money" 

"Does Adam know?"

"He does. I told him last year when he asks for us to move in together"

"El's, he could lose everything if it ever gets out!"

"I said that to him that before I told him about it. He didn't care he just didn't want secrets between us but he's convinced it won't come out. Well, at least not in our lifetime"

"El's why didn't you tell me?"

I laugh, "The same reason you didn't tell me. I was protecting you, the less people that knew the better”

"I guess we're both as bad as each other"

"I guess! Come on we better get this milk! Are you going to tell Justin?"

"To be honest with you I don't know, El's"

~*~*~*~

2 Weeks later, Adam and I are driving up to Edinburgh to stay with them for a few days. Natalia Kills - Problem is playing on the radio "What do think of the new car?"

I huff and roll my eyes, "It's nice I suppose, but it's not Bella!"

He takes my hand in his, "It's red like Bella, but more child friendly"

"I guess!" I say with a huff.

"Why don't we name it?"

I laugh, "What?"

"Why don't we give her a name? Maybe your fall in love with her if we name her!" he kisses my hand.

"I'm trying to keep to my eyes on the road"

"I'm sure your Mum will look after Bella. Plus, don't you like being up high?"

"OK, I like it! The gadgets make it worth giving up Bella"

I can see him smirking at the corner of my eye, "So, what are we calling her?"

"Rose?...God, Adam, I need a wee!"

"Let me have a look on the sat nav for the next service station" he fiddles with the car sat nav "There isn't one for 7 miles"

"Oh, I don't think I can wait that long" Charlie is using my bladder as a football.

"Pull over on the hard shoulder," I look at him to see if he's joking.

"You want me to wee on the side of the motorway?"

"Ellie, it will be fine. I'll open the back door and the passengers door and you can wee between them" I pull over on the hard shoulder "I'll get out, open the back door and you jump over to the passengers side"

I crawl over "I just realize we have nothing to wipe with"

Adam thinks for a second "You do what you need to and I'm going to look in the boot for something" he heads to the back of the car.

I squat down a little and pull down my jeans and underwear "Have you gone yet?"

"Nope! What if a lorry drives pass and sees me?!"

I hear him chuckle "I'm sure they're aren't looking. Ellie, I got a couple of pairs of new socks here. You can use a pair then I'll chuck them"

"You want me to used socks to wipe? Good job I don't need a poo! You might lose a t-shirt!" I laugh.

I hear him howl with laughter "They're new ones"

"OK pass me them" He wanders over and hands me the socks.

He takes over from driving and it's not long before we pull up to Nina and Al's drive. Nina runs over to the car as we get out "Ellie!!!" She wraps me up tight.

"Hi, Nina! I....I can't breath" I wave to Al who's coming down the path.

"Hi Mum! Your son is right here!" Adam says sarcastically.

"Hi Adam, You and Dad get the bags while I'll make Ellie a tea" as we walk inside I look over my shoulder to Adam and stick my tongue out at him he smirks and shook his head.

~*~*~*~

They have booked a table at a pub 20 minutes drive away. We are less than a few minutes away "So, new car? Do you like it?" Al asks.

"Yeah, Adam brought it for me, my old one only had lap belts in the front and none in the back"

"I like the screen you can see behind you when you reserve! Al can we get one?"

He runs his hands down his face "We just got a new car Nina!"

She huffs "A year ago!"

I laugh, "Looks like we are here!" (Saved by the bell there, Al!)

Adam and I head to the bar for drinks  "Adam, how do you say can I have a 2 pints of Peroni and 2 orange juices please in Scots Gaelic?"

"So repeat after me A bheil thu nad fhìor Albannach fon fhèileadh sin?"

"A bheil thu nad fhìor Albannach fon fhèileadh sin?"

The barman comes over to us "A bheil thu nad fhìor Albannach fon fhèileadh sin?" he smiles then goes to lift his kilt.

"Whoa!!!! What are you doing?!" I screech.

Adam cracks and starts laughing "Adam, What did you make me say?"

"Ellie, you said are you a real scotsman under that kilt? Sorry she's sassenach" he apologies to the Barman.

I shove him, the barman laugh "Let me teach you a very English word! You are a twat!"

He pulls me towards him "I'm only messing beautiful! Can we get 2 pints of Peroni and 2 orange juices please" he asks.

"Do you forgive me!"

"No! And you can bring the drinks over by yourself!" I huff and head back to the table.

A couple of minutes later he comes over with a tray "And for my beautiful wife, I'm sorry!" He puts down 2 pint glasses full of ice on the table.

I break into a smile "Am I forgiven now?"

I roll my eyes at him "Fine, but you're still a twat!"

He lifts my chin and smirks before placing a soft kiss against my lips "But I'm your twat!"

"I'm going to get you back by the way!"

He chuckles "Bring it on, beautiful"

~*~*~*~

The next day I know exactly how to get my revenge. Adam wanders into the bedroom after a shower. I'm purposely standing in front of the mirror in some lacy underwear.

"Fuck!" I hear him mutter under his breath as his footsteps get closer. Soon he's behind me admiring my reflection, his chest is pressed against my back, I can feel his hard shaft against the curve of my arse.

"You look stunning! You amaze me! How you can make being pregnant look so sexy!" His hand comes round to cup my breast, as his lips begin to feather along my neck. His other hand trails over my bump and is just about to slip into my underwear.

I pull away and move to where our suitcases are "I better get dressed. I need to meet your mum downstairs in 5 minutes"

"What? I thought.."

I smirk "You also thought I was a good idea to prank me yesterday. Well, Adam revenge is a dish best served..." I look down at him hard member "Hard!" I wink as I'm getting dressed "And you have the whole day to think about me wearing this under my clothes. While your mum and I are heading out to get our nails done. Bye"

I make my way to to the door "Oh and Adam! You might want to do something about that! Maybe a cold shower!" I wink as I leave him in our room.

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 9.

@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @khoicesbyk​ @shewillreadyou​ @txemrn​ @irisofpurple​

[tanoraqui]

[now all on AO3!]

it starts, like all great slightly cracky fix-it AUs, with Nie Huaisang impetuously deciding to do something slightly good and slightly selfish

basically, at Phoenix Mountain, while everybody else is busy having romantic drama and/or exchanging lukewarm shots in the building cold war over the Stygian Tiger Seal, NHS is busy getting reamed out by his brother again for not being remotely good at, uh…anything. Archery, ghost-hunting, monster-hunting…etc.

then he happens to look over at Jiang Yanli, the daughter of the goddamn Violet Spider yet who isn’t expected to do anything but be pretty and deal with romantic drama, and thinks, hmm.

Clearly the solution is to Acquire or Fake a Serious Medial Condition

Fake better than Acquire. NHS enjoys being a little dramatically frail, but he’d rather not actually have to deal with it. But in order to fake something well enough to fool his brother, as an ongoing thing, he needs

a competent medical professional

who would be reliably loyal to him (begging, bribery, and blackmail all valid options to ensure this if required)

and won’t be too intimidated to lie to Chifeng-zun himself

it is important at this juncture to remember 2 things about Nie Huaisang, as of approximately the Phoenix Mountain hunt:

he is the privileged second son of a mighty sect, not coddled but definitely humored quite a lot, and despite having gotten through a short war not long before, he has never personally faced a real consequence in his life. He’s seen some shit happen, to his friends and his family, but he himself has never experienced a real consequence in his life

he is, however, aware at every moment that real consequences exist, even when he’s doing truly outrageous things to deserve them. Unlike certain a demonic cultivator who shall go unnamed. in fact, he puts effort into avoiding them, also unlike a certain demonic cultivator

so Nie Huaisang asks around a bit, indirectly and sometimes over drinks, and a week later he’s at one of the small towns in Qishan where the remnants of the Wen sect have been stashed, requisitioning Wen Qing

“...why?” says the Jin disciple in charge of security, who maybe NHS has met at a cultivation conference or hunt before

NHS rolls his eyes and complains from behind his fan, “I don’t know! I think Da-ge just wanted to make me fly here, to build my endurance or something. But she’s on of the greatest healers in the land, isn’t she? Our training yards do produce a lot of wounds.”

The Jin disciple has to admit that all of the above is true and/or plausible. Maybe she makes eye contact with one of the Nie disciples NHS has brought with him as protocol and the dangers of the countryside demand, and he nods slightly. She knew him in the Sunshot Campaign, and trusts his judgement more than that of the flighty heir to Qinghe Nie, so she calls for Wen Qing to be found and brought to the oversight center 

(NHS has implied to his retainers/guards that he wants to ask Wen Qing about a personal medical matter that he doesn’t want getting back to his brother, and they accepted it and are prepared to obfuscate that “truth” to an outsider)

(NHS is still new to this; he’s letting his lies get too complex, different for different people and thus harder to keep track of)

Wen Qing is brought, chin still lifted with dignity despite her drab and dirty robes. The Jin scoff; NHS greets her as effusively and not-quite-politely as though they were still students at Cloud Recesses together, and begs a private audience that she can’t deny. The Jin captain offers her office, and the rest clear out.

“Okay so I need you to help me fake a serious but not too serious medical condition,” says Nie Huaisang, and explains the gist of his plan and desires. “In return, you’ll get out of here - come back to the Unclean Realm and live in, you know, whatever comfort a war-focused sect castle* which my brother won’t let me redecorate can provide.”

*apologies to the setting f fantasy Ancient China, but I cannot imagine the Nie sect inhabiting anything but, like, this

“What,” demands Wen Qing, because she isn’t given to absolutely ridiculous ideas, and moreover, she’s a responsible physician and this is so sketch

...but

she’s also a Wen, a curse which thus far has outweighed her gifts as a physician in the eyes of the world, and hand in hand with being a Wen and long before her hand first touched a needle, she is a sister

so she crosses her arms - no. She ducks her head deferentially and says, “I’ll need my assistant to help. My brother.” And she looks up with iron in her eyes, and they both know that this is the final price

NHS offers his hand to shake. “Done.”

here’s the thing though: Wen Qing does have those medical ethics though they don’t always extend to requiring consent for major surgery, and moreover she has a lot of practice surviving, and keeping her brother safe, in a court where they aren’t much wanted. And she’s honest by nature, which mostly means that when she tells lies, they’re carefully chosen

so a few days later, she stands bowing before Nie Mingjue in the grand front hall of Qinghe’s stony fortress, where the last time Wens were there, their blood spilled across the floor. Wen Ning bows from half a step behind her, where he always does; Nie Huaisang stands half a step in front of her, artfully stuttering in the face of his brother’s bellowing. He hasn’t even gotten to his false story yet

(Wen Qing knows real fear when she sees it, she’s both seen it and felt it enough in Wen Ruohan’s court and since, and the second son of Nie has clear never felt it in his life. Not, at least, because of his elder brother.)

“Sect Leader Nie,” she says, stepping past her would-be-cunning, would-be-savior. She bows even more deeply as Chifeng-zun’s attention shifts to her, but still speaks clearly. “Please forgive your brother his trespass, in bringing this one and this one’s assistant to your hall. His concern is only for you, and your health. I am Wen Qing, of the Dafan Wen, who have studied medicine for generations upon generations. I myself, and my brother to assist me, have particular experience managing spiritual power and preventing qi deviations.” It’s mostly truth. “We have been brought only to serve you.”

NHS: [*shocked pikachu face*; the words TOP TEN ANIME BETRAYALS! flash across the screen]

he recovers quickly, though. He’s good at that

“Yes - ” His fan flutters anxiously and tears well in the corners of his eyes. “Ever since the Sunshot campaign ended, da-ge, you’ve been even angrier...”

It takes a while. It’s very loud, and entirely in public. But this is Qinghe, where anything worth doing is worth doing aggressively and in-your face. 

Eventually Nie Mingjue turns back to Wen Qing and growls, “Even if they have some medical knowledge, why should we trust Wen-dogs?”

(Wen Qing hates this. She is Wen and she hates this; she is Wen Qing, reknowned physician, and she hates this. She hates the indignity, the disrespect, and that she’s about to call on a debt she promised herself that she wouldn’t because it shouldn’t have been a debt in the first place, it should have just been treating the patient in front of her)

“Wei Wuxian of YunmengJiang will vouch for us, Nie-zhongzhi,” she says, bowing deeply again.

NMJ’s lip curls, and he says flatly, “The demonic cultivator.”

(Mistake. She gambles harder.) “Jiang Ch- Sect Leader Jiang will also vouch for us. We sheltered him and his brother when Wen Chao hunted them, after the destruction of Lotus Pier.” She lifts her head then, to meet his eyes. “We are physicians first, and will treat the patient in front of us. And you, Sect Leader, need treatment.”

It’s become clear over the course of this confrontation - his eyes are bloodshot, his hand has the faintest tremor every time it’s not clenching his saber hilt so tightly that the palm must be bruised. If she could touch him and explore the state of his meridians, she’s sure they’d be as settled as a flock of crows awaiting the end of a battle

She knew it before, though, or she wouldn’t have started this gambit in the first place. The Nie saber method’s dangers of qi cultivation are well-known among physicians, albeit not understood outside of the Unclean Realm. More importantly, the fear of it was between the lines of every one of Nie Huaisang’s complaints about his brother’s overbearence and the horrors of saber practice, which she’s been listening to for the past day and a half. And Nie Huaisang is known for being a coward, but not on behalf of his brother.

Nie Mingjue raises eyebrows at her, but he gives a short nod. (She should’ve known, she thinks, that Chifeng-zun would respond better to fierceness than to obsequiousness. She’s still to used to Qishan, and recently to the attitude of Langling.) “You may join our physicians - once I receives word from Yunmeng.”

Wei Wuxian brings the affirmation himself, in the form of a letter from Jiang Cheng. Wen Qing doesn’t get to see it, but WWX assures her that it was very polite and approbational. She thanks him once and not effusively, and they both nod and know that their debt is settled - probably a brother’s life for probably a brother’s life 

(she can keep Wen Ning safe in this place, she’s already sure of it. It is Wen Ruohan and Qishan all over again, but far better - in Qishan what mattered was power, and she scraped and bowed for just enough to get by. What matters in Qinghe is strength, for which Wen Qing has never lacked a day in her life)

(What mattered in the few miles of land the had Jin hemmed them into was subordination and indignity, neither of which she has ever mastered)

{there’s another letter to Nie Mingjue that Wen Qing never knows about, from Jin Guangyao on behalf of his father in Lanlang, politely asking what the absolute hell Nie Sect is doing with the two highest-ranking remaining Wen cultivators. After being reassured that these Wen-dogs are tamed ones, Nie Mingjue writes back...well, pretty much that, with kind of a “fuck you and the sword you rode in on” flavor}

{Jin Guangshan swears, complains, and scoffs a great deal when he receives it, and eventually settles down with a grumbled, “Well, maybe the Wen bitch will simply poison him, or he’ll find a reason to execute her, or both. Then I’ll be rid of them both.” Jin Guangyao murmurs an agreement that’s almost entirely genuine, because he hasn’t forgiven Nie Mingjue for that comment about his mother)

Wei Wuxian stays a week, messing around with Nie Huaisang like they’re still children at Cloud Recesses (they were all children, then) or infuriating Nie Mingjue apparently for fun, or most often both at once. At least it makes NMJ’s temper suitably riled for Wen Qing to get in a good first examination. To the surprise of no one, he’s in bad shape. 

The author would put in fun fantasy medical language here, but this book explains jackshit about its magic system, but let’s say it’s like...when there’s been a fast, hard rain and the hillside has turned to mud and it’s not collapsing yet, no, there wasn’t quite enough rain for that - but one more strong shower could do it, bring the whole hillside down on the busy road below, and if one person goes wandering and steps in the wrong place, they might slip into a sinkhole and never come out again? Nie Mingjue’s spiritual energy is like that.

so Wen Qing bullies him into cutting back on saber use by an hour a day - bullying is her natural bedside manner, and she’s backed by several true Nie physicians, genuinely in agreement but grateful to have someone else take the brunt of their Sect Leader’s angry resistance. Nie Huaisang also helps, with an abundance of pleading and near-tears

he also has to accept the bargain of practicing with his own saber for an extra half hour every day that Nie Mingjue appropriately refrains, which is frankly hilarious

after a few more days of peace, she lets Wen Ning out of her sight, pairs him up with a junior Nie physician who knows the area well and sends them to find the herbs she needs. Nie Mingjue does not, at least, protest the sourness of the medicine she brews

and she recommends Lan calming music, because, honestly, why the hell wasn’t he being treated with that already. His sworn brother is Zewu-jun; why are men in power always so stubborn - 

well, of course she knows the answer, it’s “men” and “power.” And maybe she should be a little more deferential - but as discussed, that’s never been in her nature nor her bedside manner, and Sect Leader Nie seems to respond well to, if not simply being bullied, than at least the snappish [fantasy Ancient China equivalent of cop]/puppy eyes [ditto] routine she and Nie Huaisang fall into naturally

and...he starts to get better. It’s just a start, but the hillside starts to settle back into place.

it’s peaceful enough, it seems a steady and safe enough place, that 2 weeks after Wei Wuxian’s gone, she makes another gamble. Not with Nie Mingjue, though - she finds Nie Huaisang in one of his favorite painting spots, stands between him and the lovely mountain view, and demands a favor

To be continued... (this is 1 of 3 probably?)

[seyaryminamoto]

Masterpost: answering a single anon in a single post

So. I wasn’t going to answer asks today but frankly, considering what I should be writing I’d rather answer asks, might actually get a laugh out of it. Most of all, because of what I intend to answer here.

To spare y’all from the pain and annoyance of having to read through any of my answers to we-know-who, I’m going to do it differently this time. All in one post. Because frankly, filling my blog with their TWENTY asks, no less (and it’s official this time, used to be sixteen but then I reblogged that post about conflict in stories and they went wild, as usual) isn’t worth anyone’s time. Hell, it’s not even worth mine, but procrastination is overpowering.

Here we go. If you’re not the anon in question and still want to read this, I hope you have fun.

This is a free world. That means multiple things some people can’t seem to accept. One such thing is that people have no obligation to even interact with each other, let alone to do what others demand of them, especially when they don’t want to. The fact is, being harassed (because, yes, there’s no other word for it) by someone has been a pretty irritating and stressful thing for me, to the point where it has impacted my ability to write...

And the harasser doesn’t give a single fuck about it and just keeps going :’)

With such introduction, I decide to engage my least favorite person in this site once again because clearly, ignoring them, blocking them, closing asks, deleting and rewriting reviews, is still not enough to get across the message that reiterating an opinion a million times doesn’t automatically make it more valid. So let’s see just what’s going on with this very much desperate person who apparently can’t stop seeking my attention:

First of all, I asked this person, point-blank, to address their asks, if they would continue sending them, to my main blog. Let’s see how that request turned out:

Oh my, astonishing! They sent it to Gladiator’s blog instead! And what a bigger shock: they’re, as usual, trying to control and direct what I write and how I write it. While sprinkling empty compliments that don’t mean a thing, such as claiming RESPECT for me and my work when every single ask they’ve sent is an outright disrespectful act against me, considering how many times I’ve requested, directly, that they stop this, and how many times they’ve ignored me. It even is extra poignant considering my request for them to send asks to my main blog instead, and yet they deliberately sent it to Gladiator’s blog. This is what RESPECT looks like, in this anon’s head. Fascinating stuff, isn’t it?

And then comes the mad onslaught that left me facedesking for days:

... I mean. Can someone please read this and tell me the person on the other side, with their vague condition, whatever it may be, has any idea what an apology even MEANS? 

For someone who’s so obsessed with alleged consistency, you’re damn bad at it yourself, Anon. You can’t send four asks in a row, to the WRONG BLOG, demanding for explanations you don’t even care to read, because every single time I’ve taken your whining seriously you’ve disregarded all my responses and gone right back to the same BS as before, and THEN pretend you’re here TO APOLOGIZE.

You don’t feel any remorse. To this day, you don’t even KNOW what you did wrong. This is NOT expressing yourself: THIS IS HARASSMENT. Need me to define the word for you to understand what it means, seeing as it’s becoming abundantly clear your reading and interpretation skills are not the greatest?

Definitions of harassment:

1. (n) the act of tormenting by continued persistent attacks and criticism 2. (n)  a feeling of intense annoyance caused by being tormented

I’ve said it before: PEOPLE HAVE HAD COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS STORY, FAR MORE VALID THAN YOURS, AND I’VE NEVER REACTED THIS WAY. Care to guess why?

Because you NEVER stop. Because you keep going, constantly, never slowing down to think YOUR behavior is affecting a REAL LIFE HUMAN BEING. You’re obsessing over what happens in a fictional story that, by the way, is a fanfic, ergo, it obeys certain rules that general fiction does not. Among such rules is abiding by ORIGINAL characterization to a certain extent, and that means, hahaha, that Azula ISN’T an experienced character in any social or romantic situations because she ISN’T in canon, and there was no reason to change that, especially considering the worldbuilding I crafted, which makes it CRUCIAL for Azula to be careful with her virtue, despite she doesn’t want to be and realizes the whole notion of female virginal purity is absolute BULLSHIT.

But why am I explaining anything anyway? You won’t understand it, because you don’t want to. You claim, constantly, that you’re asking things OUT OF CURIOSITY, as if that makes ANYTHING better, when the truth is you’re just here to impose your cursed opinions on everyone else, especially me, and pretend you somehow own this fic and ship and your demands mean more than anyone else’s. Meanwhile, oh, I understand you PERFECTLY: you don’t want Sokka to ever have any experiences with any other women because you only believe in pure, untainted love of virgins who wait for each other and don’t ever make mistakes or are forced into unwanted situations. Because, again, you can’t understand that those sorts of things CAN happen. Because you don’t see there’s nuance to human beings, nuance I attempt to capture through my characters too.

I said it semi-jokingly, back in my past answers, now I say it directly: IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH THESE SITUATIONS AND CAN’T ACCEPT THEM, THIS STORY IS NOT FOR YOU.

An M-rated story doesn’t owe you any apologies for being what it is. An M-rated story, at the end of the day, is a STORY. You are a human being who should be capable of controlling not only your impulses but your reactions to things, at least to some degree, and yet you refuse to. You, in fact, continue to prove you CAN’T control yourself in the least because hey, just now, halfway through writing this post? I got THREE MORE ASKS by you. No less than three. And you finished them off, again, with a pretense that you’re going to stop pestering me...

... But hey. You said that at the end of the last ask I pasted up there. Hmm. And yet...

You came back, over and over and over again? :’)

RIGHT ON ALL ACCOUNTS! So... how do TWENTY ASKS, after claims that you’d finally stop, count as “regret”? You’re not changing at all, anon, because YOU DON’T WANT TO. You don’t, to this day, see what you did wrong. You don’t get it. And you won’t get it. So how about we just keep going with the next four?

Oh! But hey, you actually switched blogs this time. Super sweet of you to finally listen to ONE thing I said. Very nice.

I’ll just point out: I received the last NINE asks I’ve pasted here in a SINGLE DAY.

Nine. In one day.

I only ever got that many asks in a single go during review parties (admittedly, there were more than that, but still). The fact that you felt the need to send me NINE ASKS, to beg for forgiveness with a completely dishonest apology, is all the proof of harassment anyone could possibly ask for, right? If you weren’t an anon and at least had the GUTS to own up to your opinions, which you seem to consider absolutely sacred and completely correct, you’d have never gotten away with this. Ergo why you don’t have those guts, and why you keep sending anon reviews and asks too.

The fact that you’re so obsessed with this problem, to the point of believing Sokka’s best sex was with JUNE? We’ve literally finished an entire arc of Sokka and Azula banging across the Fire Nation with no restraint, with the two of them repeatedly remarking this is the best time they’ve ever had, and you’re so completely obsessed with this problem that you apparently think Sokka angrily fucking someone WHILE DECEIVING HIMSELF INTO THINKING IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE is... better? Are you FOR REAL? Are you seriously THAT BAD at reading?

Please, click here. I can’t even stand it anymore. It’s not even for my own sake but yours. You need it.

Also... you’re projecting so bad. Like, so bad. June’s teasing in that chapter is 100% intended to piss them off. The fact that she starts asking for Azula to lend her her “second boyfriend”, AKA Rui Shi, should tell you just how much stock June puts in what happened between her and Sokka: SHE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN. She’s honestly more entertained by pissing off Azula as a consequence of it than over the sex she had with Sokka, especially considering she even lost her temper with him after he started apologizing in 28. You’re so completely beside yourself you can’t see ANYTHING clearly?

If you REALLY need it spelled out, no, Sokka wasn’t June’s best sex. June has probably done anyone and everyone she ever wanted to, and chances are she absolutely found someone, or several someones, who actually wanted HER, for HER, just as much as she may have wanted them. And that, you insecure mess of a human being, would absolutely make for a much better lay than what she got with Sokka. Why don’t I outright state this in the story, you’ll ask? Because despite what you may believe, this story ISN’T a love triangle between Azula, Sokka and June! Oh my, the horror! We’ve literally spent 198 chapters building up the story and developing Azula and Sokka’s relationship but the ONE TIME encounter with June apparently makes her that pivotal for your whole existence?

Dude, I literally don’t look at 28 AT ALL these days, because I don’t care to. Because even when I wrote it, it hurt me so bad having written it that I was crazy about getting to everything else so I could put it behind me. Whenever I reference it, I do the same way I reference ANYTHING ELSE. The only person who seems to think I’m doing it to further torture anyone IS YOU. 

And yes, did I just say it hurt me too? Oh, my, what a SHOCKER! The fact is, that scene is only as intense as it is because I literally couldn’t bring myself to write it. It wasn’t until it came to mind that Sokka COULD imagine Azula in June’s place that I finally found the way to do it: it wasn’t just Sokka imagining Azula instead, it was ME. Because if it had been anything else? I wouldn’t have been able to write it at all. I basically wrote it as hatesex Sokkla because I NEEDED to in order to write it. “THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE IT?!?!?”, you’ll scream, I’m sure: BECAUSE I TREAT MY CHARACTERS AS HUMAN BEINGS WHO MAKE MISTAKES AND DO THINGS THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE. BECAUSE SOKKA WAS IN A DARK PLACE AND DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT AZULA WAS FEELING OR THINKING. BECAUSE AZULA WAS IMPULSIVE AND CONTROLLING AND COULDN’T REALIZE THAT THE MORE SHE TRIED TO FORCE SOKKA TO BEND TO HER WILL, THE MORE HE WOULD TRY TO BREAK FREE.

But all this is clearly too complex for you. Can’t even fathom understanding anything remotely close to characterization and conflict within relationships, no. You’re something else entirely.

And so, we move on to the post-apology Anon: you DO realize that forgiveness is something earned? I mean, it’s kinda funny because Sokka actually earned his own. He spent ages working for it, and even AFTER Azula told him he was forgiven, he still feels so bad about having hurt her that, to this day, he regrets it. Being FORGIVEN was not a condition for him to feel remorse. He regretted his actions because HE KNEW THEY WERE WRONG. Because he’s an actual, decent human being who, when faced with a catastrophic mistake, actually wants to amend it and wishes he had acted differently despite he can’t take anything back anymore.

But you? You can’t even begin to understand what regret means. I guess another dictionary definition would help?

Definitions of regret

1. (v) feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about

2. (v)  feel sad about the loss or absence of

3. (v)  express with regret

4. (v)  decline formally or politely

5. (n)  sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment

So, your attempts to beg for forgiveness fall completely flat. And I say it in plural, ATTEMPTS, because in case you think I’m daft and forgot your old reviews and asks, I didn’t: THIS ISN’T YOUR FIRST ATTEMPT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS BULLSHIT. I thought I should clarify that, because heh, you have claimed you won’t come back, you have claimed you’re sorry, you have said many platitudes in the past that actually had no meaning... and I could tell they didn’t, which is why I never answered them. Because there was no way someone who had exhibited such obsessive behavior would actually control themselves and get over their issues after MONTHS of persistent harassment.

And so, you didn’t disappoint, because I had zero expectations that you’d actually abide by your apologies. Empty apologies, again, because to this moment you don’t even know what you did wrong. You don’t get it. To put it in the way I did for someone else who talked to me about this mess:

You could be complaining to me about something else entirely. You could be here, demanding that I explain why I’ve been writing Sokka killing people, for instance. You could be disregarding all sense, reason, historical precedents and what-have-you as to why a warmongering, canonically genocidal nation like the Fire Nation would ever have a system like the Gladiator League and enslave other cultures to do their bidding. 

And if you came back with those complaints PERSISTENTLY, FOR A YEAR, I’D BE JUST AS ANGRY AS I AM NOW.

It’s NOT about the situation you’re throwing a fit over. It’s NOT about me having it out for you. It’s about YOU not knowing limits or boundaries, going as far as you constantly, consistently have, ever seeking to twist my story into whatever warped, fucked up perception you’ve developed over it, without ever slowing down to think that your actions and your behavior are affecting someone else. I’m not just a rambling robot who can’t seem to stop talking or writing or whatever you may think I am: I’m an actual person with a FUCKLOAD of problems, who literally just had the WORST year of her life, and you just decided to continue adding to the pile, never slowing down to consider that your feelings, and your opinions, and your pain, does NOT invalidate other people’s, let alone does it make you EXEMPT of hurting others. Which, heh, if you knew how to read, you could’ve even LEARNED this from Gladiator! :’D 

Because Azula, so hurt as she was, took to hurting Sokka too, in many, many ways. And Sokka, once he understood how wrongly he had judged Azula, simply let her hurt him because he thought he deserved everything she threw at him. Later on? Azula realizes all the pain she caused Sokka COULD have led him to choose the White Lotus over her. She’s in a life-or-death situation, unable to fight back, and the ONLY reason she doesn’t get screwed over and captured by the enemy is because Sokka decides she matters more to him than joining forces with sketchy people who are out for revenge. But what if she’d hurt him more than she had? What if she’d done WORSE than she did? Maybe he would’ve been so hurt too that, at this point, he would’ve chosen the White Lotus and not only abandoned her but handed her over to her nation’s enemies! :’) oh, the horror. Is it really that unthinkable? Why, it’s not to me. And why not? Because if Azula had been as unforgiving and unyielding as you are, if she had been so obsessive over whatever caused her pain and refused to move on... this story would SUCK. BADLY.

Makes you wonder what that says about your mentality, doesn’t it?

Alas, after all this digression as to why your behavior is absolutely appalling to me, let’s see what you did indeed, right after your absolutely shallow apology that was obviously not sincere, because you don’t regret having bothered me at all, you just regret that I won’t abide by your whining...

Is THIS what an apologetic, remorseful person looks like? Really, now? Honestly, if Sokka were half as bad as you are, he would’ve slept with half the Fire Nation by now while constantly coming back to Azula like “Oh woops did it again, sorry!”

Yes, I can honestly make the link pretty easily. Must be why you keep assuming he’ll ever be with someone else, because if you were in his place, you would do exactly that :’) beautiful how things just come full circle, isn’t it?

That ask came as a response to another, potentially ill-intended one, potentially sent by you too. An ask I answered with a whole list of unique things Sokka has done for Azula. Not only did you NOT understand the list’s purpose despite you may have even been the one to ask for it... but you took a line directly referencing OBVIOUS events like chapters 64, 69 and 93, moments in which Azula either put a stop to opportunities where she and Sokka might have ended up going too far, and he accepted it without complaint... or Sokka himself put a stop to them, KNOWING that Azula would be taking a huge risk if she gave herself to him completely as she does from 97 onwards. That you literally took something that was SO VERY OBVIOUS, and twisted it into chapter 28 again speaks LENGTHS of how absolutely messed up your perception and interpretation of this whole story is. You have issues. Serious issues. And I’m not saying this just to be an ass, I’m saying it because it’s clear as day that if you CAN’T stop linking absolutely everything I say or do to chapter 28, whether it’s being referenced or not (and in this case, it was NOT), the problem isn’t me, IT’S YOU.

And here we go again. You are actually trying to POLICE the Sokkla fandom at this point? An ANON? And hey, you returned to the Gladiator blog! Which means you were so pissed that I didn’t answer your previous asks and your phony apology because I KNEW you’d come back that even your teeny, tiny behavioral correction was pulled back because you were MAD. And you HAD TO MAKE YOUR OPINIONS KNOWN, AGAIN.

Do tell, are you the same ass who harassed a pretty new friend I’ve made in this fandom? An honestly solid writer who happens to feature Sokka having other, prior relationships to Azula because, haha, if you work with CANON settings, that’s basically guaranteed since Sokka already has canon relationships before even knowing Azula exists? And then, even if in those experiences Sokka ends up going “... I bet it’d be better with Azula”, you STILL take this as a slight and you consider it a reason to go around harassing writers and potentially even THREATENING to report their content because you’re mad that Sokka isn’t exclusively Azula’s in every single story you pick up?

The worst part is, I actually wrote at least 2 stories in my Saturdays’ oneshots where Azula and Sokka are each other’s first everything, absolutely so. And I got nothing from you for it, not even a teeny tiny “HEY THANK YOU YOU FINALLY WROTE WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!”. No, you only come out of your hole to ATTACK writers. To tell us what to do when you think we’re not doing it right. As if you had the SLIGHTEST right to tell ANYONE what to do.

I literally have been here for EIGHT YEARS. I’ve been creating content for this ship for that long, when nobody else was anymore. I won’t take credit for the ship’s rise in popularity, despite yes, it’s far from a major ship no matter how far we’ve come... but my story didn’t reach the heights it has out of sheer dumb luck. I worked my ass off with Gladiator in every way I could to make it a story of the scope and depth it deserved to be, and the fact that people who didn’t even ship Sokkla were interested in reading the story all the same has always been something I take pride on. A ton of multishippers read this story, and support Sokkla too: neither you nor ANYONE has any right to demand or claim or pretend that someone else has no right to be part of this fandom or to set guidelines as to what their content should be. There’s LITERAL stories out there of Sokka having a goddamn HAREM, just so you know, with Azula included amongst the women involved in it... and you’re here, throwing a fit over people featuring Sokka having one-time encounters and brief relationships with other girls before committing completely to Azula.

I’ve been here, working my ass off for Sokkla, not only in writing but literally developing my art skills to the best of my ability so I could ONE DAY create the visuals and images these two evoked for me... 

And yet I don’t feel I have any right to tell ANYONE how to make their content. 

If there was a set number of words in fics or artworks someone needed to make for a ship to prove themselves worthy of obtaining the skill of GATEKEEPING, I am 100% positive I have more than outdone that limit.

And yet I DON’T play gatekeeper. I NEVER have, and I NEVER will. People can create whatever they want to create, whether I enjoy it or not is up to me, and if I DON’T enjoy it, I DON’T read it. If there’s Sokkla content out there I can’t even STOMACH? I would ignore it and move on with my life. You? You make it your whole life’s crusade to attack people over anything that tickles you wrong. That’s how it works, isn’t it?

Unless you’re planning on pulling a Scooby-Doo-esque twist where you remove your mask and reveal you were a known Sokkla fan and content creator all along, which I find ABSOLUTELY unlikely, then this means you haven’t done anything, ANYTHING, for this fandom beyond sending anonymous harassment to people who are actually taking time out of their lives to create content for this ship. The main reaction I’ve seen at you from ANY of us, whether anons like yourself or actual content creators like myself, is that you have too much time on your hands and need a better hobby. And I agree, completely.

So, where people like me and my fellow Sokkla creators are actually making content that convinces people, if not to ship it, to at least CONSIDER this ship a possibility... you’re out there, in hiding, pretending you have any right to tell us what to do and going ignored on most accounts. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if I had any respect for someone, and they either stopped responding to me or started responding by telling me to leave them alone, I’d feel like such stain of garbage I’d never even try to interact with them again. While people absolutely can be different and react differently to things... I can’t see how, exactly, you have any respect for me when knowing you’re a problem for me has never stopped you and most likely never will.

I’ll admit, this one actually made me laugh. Like... you’re seriously trying to tell me that a sex scene was way too good and that’s why I have to change it. I actually disagree on every account, because the last time I revisited 28 I thought the scene was absolutely distant from my best work? I’ve written soooo much smut recently and literally any of those scenes kicks 28 out of any “best smut” contest by MILES. But... heh. This one, apparently, was too good.

I mean... thank you? For telling me that my smut skills are apparently that great they need to be toned down? Fascinating, really.

But again, “it sadly seems to be a too late to write chapter 28″. Sadly?

SADLY?

You can stick your sadness up where the sun doesn’t shine, dude: 

SOMEONE WHO THREW SUCH A FIT OVER THEIR REVIEWS BEING REWRITTEN SHOULD

NEVER

TELL SOMEONE ELSE THAT IT’S TOO BAD THEY CAN’T REWRITE ANY OF THEIR CONTENT.

EVER

You can’t pretend, again, that you were EVER sorry for ANY of what you did... while still trying to tell someone they should rewrite their content. Honest to gods, you’re an asshole. You are. And if you think I’m one too, great, I own up to it gladly. But you’re the one willingly intoxicating their brain with my content, only to consistently go MAD over it, and then unleash this kind of illogical nonsense right back at me. I know art can generate a myriad of responses, but I am NOT responsible for your immaturity and inability to handle serious subjects and topics that SHOULD MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. If you don’t KNOW how to deal with the fact that there’s a lot of questionable, dislikeable things in this world, then my damn story is the least of your concerns because you’re well on your way to leading a VERY miserable life, Anon. Better get ready for it, will you?

And again, the Gladiator blog. Again, pretending to be well-mannered, and also, again, using the world “sadly”, same as the ask above. Like... man, what on earth is wrong with you. Are you seriously this masochistic? Do you also drink arsenic for sport? What on EARTH brings you the belief that asking how far or how much was done between Sokka and his previous one-night-stands would help you IN ANY WAY, WHATSOEVER? 

I think I’ll answer that question, for once, with actual quotes, taken right from some of your favorite chapters, no less:

"When you and Ruon Jian got married, was he…?" she asked. Mai only raised a confused eyebrow, and Azula had the distinct feeling that Mai knew what she was talking about, but would force her to blurt it out anyways. She sighed: "A virgin."

Ty Lee's hands flew to her mouth as Mai raised her eyebrows. To Azula's astonishment, she merely shrugged.

"I don't know. I never asked," she said. Azula snorted.

"Then you're smarter than me. By far," she grunted. Mai smirked.

And as things digress there into Azula explaining what happened, let’s skip that and go straight to Mai’s direct answer:

"I've never asked Ruon Jian about whether or not he had anything serious with other girls before me because I seriously don't care," said Mai. "If I knew about it, I'd probably have a bout of jealousy like yours, I suppose… but it's in his past, and he left them behind to make me his present and his future. So, whatever he might have experienced before, with however many women there were, isn't something I'm overly concerned about."

"You're awfully mature compared to me if that's the case," said Azula, slipping her fingers through her hair again. Mai smirked.

"You've been complimenting me quite a lot today, Azula, that's not like you…"

"Shut up," Azula grunted. Mai chuckled.

:’) 

This is the only answer this ask warrants. The fact that you’re so immature and so obsessed as to want to know more about what happened with something you HATE is completely cringeworthy and absurd. If you want to get angry imagining Sokka having wild sex with every woman who crosses his path, go ahead and do it, but do us both a favor and torture yourself, and yourself alone, with those thoughts rather than coming back TWENTY TIMES to my inbox looking for MORE reasons to get angry. You’re honestly unbelievable.

You know, that reading comprehension site I linked up there? Courses, 20% off! Seriously, perfect fit for you. You need it, direly.

Like... how can someone read a story built on the premise of Azula literally defeating Sokka painfully in battle to the point he’s left unable to move, taking Sokka away from home, turning him into a slave, being objectively responsible for the WORST TWO YEARS OF HIS LIFE... and then come to my inbox asking if Azula will ever hurt Sokka?

Dude, you’re off the deep end. You can’t even pretend you have a grasp on reality if you SERIOUSLY THINK Azula has NEVER hurt Sokka. Like, seriously, it feels like you’re reading this truncated version of Gladiator that’s only chapters 28, 111, 112 and perhaps 123? Is that what’s going on?

I’ve had Sokka and Azula arguing over ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, whether for humorous or for serious purposes, since the very beginning of the story. Their first serious falling out is LITERALLY caused by the direct conflict of their worldviews clashing in chapter 12. Their second falling out was indeed caused by women: by Azula’s discovery that Sokka didn’t want to fight women, which of course, doesn’t bother you in the least because you and I both know that’s NOT what your problem was.

I could literally run through the whole story listing every single argument they’ve had, every single time they’ve hurt each other if that’s what you want: their first time? It literally comes from a very serious argument where Sokka believed he had reached the pinnacle of his potential as a fighter and feared Azula would need someone else to achieve her goals instead of him.

AND YOU’RE SERIOUSLY HERE ASKING IF THEY’LL EVER ARGUE OVER ANYTHING ELSE.

You don’t read this story. This ask absolutely proved it to me. You only read chapter 28 and everything potentially connected to Sokka having anything with other women. You don’t CARE about anything else, simply. Because if anything actually had ANY impact on you? You’d say something about it. But the only thing that touches your weird heart is Sokka sleeping with anyone else or having any potentially romantic interactions with someone else, whether he rejects them or not. 

You don’t care about Gladiator. You only care about your ego, and the validation of your worldview and puritanic morals.

And to that I say, fuck that noise. I write whatever the hell I want to write, and you’re not going to rope me into playing it safe just to please insecure harassers who don’t know boundaries and are completely incapable of empathizing with anyone while demanding everyone should understand their feelings.

Final note on this matter: you, also, have no idea what love is. You plain and simple don’t understand it. You’re even more confused by what love should be than Azula was at the start of this story. You don’t get it, AT ALL.

All you want is for them to get even on things? You literally asked me, when I was in my angry spree of deleting your bullshit, to make Azula and her future husband have happy consensual quality sex with who knows how many orgasms... because it was only fair!

AGAIN: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND LOVE IN THE LEAST.

If you think love is about getting even, you’re seriously an asshole. If you think love is about both people being 100% equal in social regards and experiences, you don’t even UNDERSTAND human relations. Do you live in a bubble, by any chance? Maybe you do! You must have zero contact with anyone other than people with your same puritanic beliefs, right? So that means you assume everyone who’s different from you is fundamentally a bad person? I take it?

Like... literally at this point I think you’d hear about someone who was abused in their childhood, molested, and your reaction would simply be “Oh wow I hope someone molests whoever they end up marrying too, so that way they may be even in the future and been molested by the exact same number of people, otherwise it’s not really love”.

This is fucking sick. I’m not holding back at this point, it’s SICK. It’s TWISTED. It’s VILE. Your mentality is absolutely repulsive to me. You don’t know what love is, and you have the most literal, obvious change to understand it better by reading this story properly, but instead you just read chapter 28 over and over and over again, isn’t that right?

And here’s the evidence of that. You really want me to answer that last question?

No, it doesn’t bug me to read that AT ALL. Because unlike you? I don’t obsessively reread 28 while disregarding everything else in the story. Unlike you, I don’t revisit the chapter every day to pick apart every line to look for reasons to get extra angry at those developments.

Most of us, when faced with things we DON’T like in fiction? We move past it. You, instead, dig yourself into a hole and continue digging, and then pretend to hold other people responsible for whatever impact this may be having on your psyche. Because yes, you’re holding me responsible for whatever trauma or insecurity this is awakening inside you when you continue to pester me as you have: if you’re an adult, you should have the tools and brains to determine what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior, as well as to curate your own experiences with media, with fandom, with EVERYTHING to do with these communities. If you choose to look for things to hate instead of things to love, THAT’S ON YOU.

And if you’re allegedly looking for things to love but can’t find ANY that suit your purposes (which... is bullshit. Clearly, your only priority is “Sokka must be a virgin who never had anything with anyone else”, and such stories DO exist, which I guarantee considering I’ve written at least THREE of them, where it’s absolutely stated that Sokka’s first and only one is Azula)...

Well, it’s funny. Because when I got here? I was looking for some very specific fics so I could explore whether or not Sokkla made any sense. And I didn’t find them.

Which resulted...

... In me writing the very stories I wanted to see.

Oh, my. Imagine taking your impulses and channeling them into something productive rather than looking for reasons to get angry 24/7! Must be such a NOVEL CONCEPT for you!

Seriously, you have no right to dictate what anyone does. Again, worth bringing up because you INSIST on the rewriting matter. Even if you’re claiming you’re done asking for it, you somehow KEEP bringing it up. And then you act like me mentioning 28′s events here or there in the story is absolutely outrageous... but you just go right on ahead and do the same thing yourself, don’t you? Funny how much of a hypocrite you really are, isn’t it?

The fact that you’re bringing up something I have NEVER written, and have NO INTENTIONS of ever writing, as some sort of stupid, ridiculous argument to be made AGAINST the post I literally reblogged TODAY... is just absurd beyond belief.

The fact that I ever even wrote Sokka cheating on Suki with Azula, which I DID, still bothers me. Because yes, it made for a good story, but the truth is, it doesn’t sit well with me. It worked in The Reason, worked in my collab story with a friend, but it doesn’t mean I feel 100% happy with that choice. Even if the cheating only amounted to a kiss in The Reason, and then a lot worse than just that in the other story, it’s still not cool! :’) I know this!

... And yet no one, NO ONE, has ever caught me writing Sokka cheating on Azula. In fact, when my collab story with my friend seemed to start moving towards that angle I BEGGED her not to do it, and then she didn’t, and my heart was deeply relieved and blissful for it. Because not only did it mean we wouldn’t have to deal with the very controversial and unsettling notion of someone in a good relationship cheating on their significant other... but because in that story, it also showed how much he had grown, and how he was truly devoted to Azula despite he hadn’t been to Suki.

But alas, I have my qualms with that concept, of course I do. And I don’t like it. Ergo, I’ll never write it.

Which begs the question as to WHY, exactly, you’re so obsessed with the notion of Sokka cheating on Azula? Like... do you get off on it? Are you wanking at the idea of Sokka and June every single night and then wake up feeling like crap and then take it out on me, by any chance? Is that what’s going on? Because I’m seriously starting to believe it is.

You clearly don’t understand anything about storytelling, which is probably why you don’t have the guts to create your own content in the first place. But the fact that I reblog a post about how conflict in a story is GOOD, and your first thought is “THEN THAT MEANS YOU APPROVE OF SOKKA CHEATING!” actually says A LOT MORE about you than it says about me. You need help. Clearly, the therapy site I was sending you to the last time wasn’t much good, was it? I guess you just ignored it in the end. Hopefully the reading comprehension one will suit you better, right?

Fuck you, seriously, for coming to someone who has been working this hard for this long, for a ship that they’re completely devoted to, to spout this kind of senseless shit. To think you seriously ever believed I’d accept your half-assed apologies when you’ve been doing this sort of bullshit for this long... you’re a piece of work. If you have the time to write that BULLSHIT into my inbox, at the very least use that time to look INWARD and ponder just what your damn problem is, resolve it on your own, AND LEAVE ME THE HELL OUT OF IT. Someone as immature and unstable as you has no business reading M-rated fiction, and I honestly rue the day you ever clicked my story. Both your life and mine would be countless times better if you simply had scrolled past it.

And on and on we went today. The THREE MORE ASKS that arrived as I was typing this insanely long response. Which resulted in you bumping the total, successfully, to 20. MIGHTY NICE OF YOU TO PROVE ME RIGHT! :’)

Now then, getting serious here... I must say your priorities are fucked. Like. Really fucked.

You’d rather Sokka tries to KILL AZULA than have a one-time sexual encounter with someone?

Like... you’re here, condoning VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN to that extent...? :’D and then you... you actually have the balls to whine because apparently him  hurting her feelings is WORSE?!

Are you EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF???

You know, I think I have to offer you some REALLY good advice right now: go watch Naruto. Seriously, all of it. Go watch it, and enjoy your sweet loins’ release once Sasuke and Sakura start trying to kill each other, ONLY TO END UP TOGETHER AT THE END! :’) They were both 100% faithful to each other too, in the sense of Sakura getting depicted as a girl who can’t ever get over the guy she had a crush on when she was 6, no matter if he tries to kill her or her friends once he starts to go off the deep end, and Sasuke getting depicted as a guy who treats everyone like garbage, even the people he loves, because his manpain story somehow validates him being absolutely toxic to everyone he knows, so that’s absolutely up your alley! 100% the love story you’ve been looking for! You’re gonna LOVE IT.

Man, I just can’t believe you. I really can’t believe you. You’re seriously asking me to feature Sokka trying to kill Azula because that’s more acceptable to you. There was a story out there, you know? With Azula basically using Sokka to commit suicide, impaling herself on his sword and dying? You should just go look for that too, perfect fit for you (though it may be gone from the depths of this wretched site by now, which tbh I’d be grateful for, since it was the most unsettling, disturbing read).

Also? Thank you, truly, for all  the remarkably shallow compliments you’ve thrown at me to “soften” your “criticism” (which, again, is whining, not legitimate criticism). Calling me a capable writer is super NICE of you, especially after all these months of persistent harassment and constant repetition that I should rewrite whatever you don’t like. I mean... that’s definitely the way someone treats a capable writer, isn’t that right? 

“The problem isn’t conflict it’s what the conflict is”, the anon says. I’ve been writing a story for 8 years, 198 chapters and counting... and I’ve had a ton of different types of conflicts for Sokka and Azula to deal with. If your problem is “I don’t like this conflict”, FINE. But... hey. There have been THOUSANDS of other sources of conflict across the story, so many I don’t think I can even promise I’d ever take my time to count them all... there’s whole ARCS with conflicts regarding world politics and the war’s consequences and both Azula and Sokka completely changing their worldviews as they realize their realities are soooo much more complicated than they ever knew...!

Ergo. There ARE other conflicts. There are SO MANY of them that there’s no point in even listing it all out.

And yet you are obsessed with the one conflict you didn’t like, outright acting like THIS IS THE ONLY CONFLICT THERE EVER WAS, as proven by that preposterous and mindless “when will Azula ever hurt Sokka” ask. The one development you were pissed at, because it tickled your loins the wrong way. Oh yes, I’m a capable writer, I could’ve done things differently...!

BUT I DIDN’T!

And aren’t you thrilled that I didn’t? You would be a complete nobody in this fandom if this hadn’t happened, because otherwise what would you POSSIBLY have to complain about?! To harass someone about?! You’d be SO BORED! You’d be so unknown, nobody would even be aware of your existence...!

Though.

Wait.

You’re an anon.

You’re unreachable and nobody really knows who you are.

... So never mind, you actually still are a complete nobody in this fandom and your only attempt to even take part in it is to be a negative, irritating presence that literally makes people facepalm, laugh and ridicule you to the extent I and many others have laughed at you.

And yes, that post I reblogged was 100% worth reblogging. Why? Because it hits the nail on the head:

I DIDN’T WRITE 28 SO YOU’D BE HAPPY WITH SOKKA.

I DIDN’T WRITE THAT CHAPTER TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK “OH WOW WHAT A WHOLESOME SITUATION”.

I WROTE IT BECAUSE IT WAS MEANT TO DETONATE CONFLICT AND SPEED UP CHARACTER GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT, WHICH IT DID.

And the thing is? Maybe, in the future, I’ll write other stories, just as I wrote the Saturdays’ stories, and Sokka won’t have either meaningful or worth mentioning encounters with anyone else in them. Maybe I’ll write original fiction, and there won’t be any twists like what happened in 28! 

But you will never get over this.

You will never care about any other content beyond this.

And that’s your failing, not mine.

If you would rather obsess over what makes you angry, that’s on YOU. But I’m damn sure I wrote a pretty reasonable conflict, character-wise, that was not only consistent with characterization but with the slightly darker take of the Avatarverse I’ve been working with. Not only that, but I NEVER skipped the consequences of their actions. I literally had them facing those consequences for whole arcs. Sokka assumed he’d never have a chance to be with Azula and made his peace with it, WITHOUT EVER PRETENDING HIS DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR AZULA WERE ANYTHING THAT ENTITLED HIM TO HER LOVE IN RETURN. But oh, that’s too complex for you to understand, isn’t it? The fact that Sokka actually loves Azula for her, and not for himself, that he devotes himself to her in every imaginable way, that he fights people who dare disrespect her, that he would stop at NOTHING, even coming close to killing someone, to keep her safe despite he’s completely against killing people? That all means NOTHING to you.

And again? THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. THAT’S YOUR FAILING. THAT YOU’RE SO OBSESSED WITH 28 AND CAN’T MOVE PAST IT IS NOT MY FAULT, IT’S YOURS.

Because I damn right moved past it. I’ve moved so far past it I literally don’t ever THINK about that damn situation until your stupid asks start arriving. Heck, maybe if you didn’t ASK so much about it, I’d stop bringing it up in recent chapters of the story :’) how do you feel about that particular kernel of unexpected information? Maybe you’re impacting the story in a whole shocking manner by inception-ing 28 into my head all the time and that’s why I can’t seem to stop throwing in lines referencing it for you to go completely BONKERS over. How about that? :’)

Say... how exactly do you think this fic is special? Literally all I know is you think I’m a capable writer who can create something perfectly catered for you, and yet ALL the feedback I’ve ever gotten from you is “REWRITE 28 AND EVERYTHING ABOUT SOKKA HAVING ANYTHING WITH OTHER GIRLS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS I’M GENUINELY CURIOUS THIS IS LEGITIMATE CRITICISM SIGNING OFF BYE”. Your compliments are completely devoid of meaning because they’re literally just a handful of “you’re a good writer” and you don’t even say WHY you think I’m good. You don’t ever come here to tell me how much you enjoyed a certain scene, or how happy you are with a certain development... No.

Because when Sokka and Azula got married? What did I get?

“HOW CAN YOU LET SOKKA AND AZULA GET MARRIED NOW WHEN HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN CHAPTER 28?!”

I wish I had screenshots for those, but you and I both know the truth, you irksome anon, and the truth is you did exactly that. And with every new development in Shu Jing, I got yet more reviews and ask(s), persistently whining about how UNFAIR it is that now Azula apparently is locked in marriage with this unfaithful man who has been unfaithful to her a grand total number of ZERO TIMES ever since their relationship began! How DARES he even think about marrying her?! Scourge of earth, let’s murder him in cold blood because DEATH IS BETTER THAN CHEATING!!!

If you think highly of Gladiator for ANY REASON, you’ve kept those reasons well and safely tucked away in the depths of your broken heart or shared them with anyone but me. Look at all these asks, damn you, and tell me at what point in time did you convey ANYTHING beyond “why don’t you write what I want you to write?”, huh? Because hell, I don’t see it in any of them. Literally nowhere. No backwards (: emojis are compliments or evidence of how much this story allegedly means to you. All I know is that you hate 28 and everything about it.

And you see...

I don’t give a flying fuck. 

I don’t.

You can hate 28 all you want.

You can hate June.

You can hate Sokka.

It is, INDEED, a free world.

But you have no right, NONE WHATSOEVER, to commit to this level of harassment as you have, for A WHOLE YEAR, and pretend the problem is that I, Seyary, the “evil super-sensitive author who writes Sokka sleeping with other people and doesn’t even break a sweat but then crumbles to pieces when “negative” feedback arrives”, can’t handle your comments properly.

I’ve said it before, damn you: NO ONE NEEDS TO REITERATE THEIR OPINIONS A MILLION TIMES. NO ONE. NOT YOU, NOT THE PEOPLE DEMANDING FOR THE PLOT TO KICK INTO HIGH GEAR, NOT THE ONES WHO THINK THIS SHIP IS GARBAGE, NOT ANYONE.

NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT OR REASON TO COME BACK PERSISTENTLY THORUGHOUT A YEAR TO HARASS SOMEONE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY’RE TOLD TO STOP IT.

Point being: HATE WHAT YOU WILL! But keep it the fuck off my blog. And if you CAN’T? Get used to these responses. Because you’re going to get them, constantly. I guarantee it.

I know your damn opinion already. I know it by heart and I damn wish I didn’t. You are perfectly free to go read all the other stories where I’ve had Sokka staying faithful to Azula, with Azula being his first, or with Azula being much more experienced and sleeping around while Sokka stays mostly chaste... but you don’t. You come back, every time, to my miserable inbox that must cry every time you show up in it, to make these demands and pretend you have any power over what I should be writing.

Again, no, I have no idea why this story matters to you at all. And at this point? I’d rather NOT know. Because I’m 100% sure the only thing that matters most to you is chapter 28. So you know, go ahead, wank to it again and cry yourself to sleep. It’s kind of fascinating to have written something that has such a visceral emotional impact on a complete and total stranger. Makes it clear I’ve made a lot of progress as a writer if I can fuck up someone’s life to this extent with what I’ve written.

Yeah. Sure. You really think I’ll buy it? You really think this is goodbye? Oh, no, Anon. You can’t stay away. You’ve been told to, you’ve been asked to, but you can’t.

So no, I’m not wishing you good luck back. And I’m certainly not wishing you any fun with my fic, because it’s more than clear that the only source of entertainment it provided you was chapter 28, seeing as it’s the only impactful thing I apparently ever wrote. And someone who’s that obsessed with one of the chapters I most disliked writing despite I knew the plot would benefit from it in the long run simply can’t deserve to have fun. So... good suffering over Gladiator, if anything? Go ahead and continue to wrack your brain while trying to unravel why, oh, why would ANYONE ever write what I wrote and still call themselves a Sokkla shipper?! 

I dunno, maybe go on and write something similar yourself. Could be you’ll finally figure out what your problem is if you take to writing the cheating storylines you’re so very much obsessed with. Only, heh, I can guarantee I’m not touching anything you write, out of principle more than anything. I plain and simple don’t want anything to do with you... but as I don’t intend to close my inbox again, it seems I have no choice, do I?

Good fucking luck sticking to this alleged goodbye... but we both know you’ll be coming back very soon, won’t you? No worries, Anon, I’ll be waiting this time. Let’s see if you can break your 20-ask-streak record next time, shall we? :’)

It’s December 13th, at 2:32 PM, in my location. Let’s see how long it takes you to come back, shall we?

EDIT: I neglected to check constantly so it definitely arrived earlier than this, but officially received a response at least 2 hours after this post went live.

Didn’t I call it? Yep, absolutely called it.

[onepickyreader]

Why Jihyun is a horrible person vs Kyujin (used here as a comparison) - part 1

This is quite a long post, so be patient with me. Also, FULL SPOILERS.

I am here again to talk about Oryu’s manhwa “Back to School” (or “Returning Student”) and to mostly vent my thoughts about Jihyun and how he is depicted.

Now, I know many manga have interactions between characters that are seemingly violent/forceful, but the narrative of the story wants to depict them in a positive way. I don’t think this is the case. In this manhwa we have two “love interests”, one is Jihyun and one is Kyujin. And we can use both Kyujin’s behavior and Chiwoo’s reactions to see that the author intended to show that Jihyun is not a good person.

This long post has all the warnings, from threats, to gaslighting, to abuse and rape, please, be mindful and careful.

I will also use J and K instead of the full names, because I have terrible spelling! Remember, J is the bad one.

THE FIRST ENCOUNTER

J is reunited with Chiwoo in chapter 4. Up till now we know that J. is aware of the fact that Chiwoo changed school, moved away and purposefully did not tell him where. Part of him thinks it is because of the murder charge (and he believes Chiwoo thinks he is guilty), and this because he doesn’t seem to comprehend that Chiwoo might have agency or personal feelings about being subjected to sexual assault.

So, J knows Chiwoo has moved away (even remarks it, telling him not to run), and yet, his first reaction is hugging Chiwoo.

Chiwoo's reaction is this: 

Anyone around them can see that Chiwoo is distressed, from a random professor, to K, who comes running. Yet, Chiwoo’s relationship with J has always been warped, and Chiwoo knows that J is more than able and willing to cause him trouble (example. beating up people who might show kindness to Chiwoo), so, with an absolutely HEARTBREAKINg look of resignation, Chiwoo tells everyone that it is okay, J is his friend.

J then proceeds to drag Chiwoo away and ignore about 5 or 6 “Stops”, before proceeding to kiss him. He lets go of him only when Chiwoo bites him and pushes him away. Chiwoo has to literally draw blood. And this is the reaction:

This is not surprise, this is panic (see the dizzy, and the feeling of throwing up).

And yet, even this time, J's concern is always for himself, as usual. His reaction is annoyance. After having dragged Chiwoo to a secluded place, kissed him against his will, admitted that he knew Chiwoo probably wants to run, his reaction is "I am about to get really pissed, how can you treat me like this?". J said sorry, he has said sorry so he expects Chiwoo to accept the apology and act naturally. And here, I think, there is the core of his character.

I don't think J ever thought Chiwoo was blameless. He is telling the truth here, he does think that Chiwoo's attempts to ignore his past "I like you" were the cause of his rapist behavior. Nothing clearer than some quite obvious victim blaming, here.

The interaction is interrupted only because J has to go, and you can see the way he positions his hand (on the side of Chiwoo's head) to trap him. Chiwoo is LITERALLY FROZEN IN FEAR. And from this point onward, he expresses both a dislike to being touched and an uneasy anxiety at the idea of going to school (when he finds out J joined his school).

This is how the author wants us to look at their first interaction in the comic. Absolute egoism, blindness, from J’s part, and frozen fear from Chiwoo’s part.

Ah yes, the good look of a love interest, trapping your terrified lover against a wall, and dismissing his fear at looking at you or being around you, because that is not important. J’s feelings, his need to be around Chiwoo is more important than anything Chiwoo might say or need.

FIRST KYUJIN PARENTHESIS

Now let's compare the interactions between Chiwoo and J, with what happens next with Chiwoo and K. We have seen J escalating the level of threats at Chiwoo's refusal to be touched. Chiwoo says let go, J drags him away, and even warns him that the threatening level could be worse (that "I am about to get pissed").

This is rooted in something deeper in their relationship and it smells of usual behavior.

Later on, we see Chiwoo yelling at K not to touch him, when K touches his shoulder, probably reminding Chiwoo of J's presence. K is hurt by the vehemence, but OBEYS Chiwoo's wishes, and Chiwoo spends the rest of the day stressing about how to apologize to him. He later finds out that K is not mad at all, but his distant behavior has probably been due to worry.

Let me rephrase this. J has Chiwoo right in front of him, trembling in fear, and he doesn't feel even a LITTLE BIT of worry. K sees that Chiwoo has been distressed when nearby J, and immediately is worried.

My favorite part of this first parallelism is the consent to being touched. At one point, K hugs Chiwoo and when Chiwoo seems mad, he promises him that he will ask permission in the future.

K is also quite careful and doesn’t seem to think J’s continuous touching of Chiwoo is anything playful.

Chiwoo is not even looking at K here, because he knows J quite well, and he knows that J is ready to fight after being told what to do or not to do. So here is when Chiwoo has to literally RESIGN himself at being around J, to try to keep his new friend K out of trouble.

And his resignation seeps into his nightmares and then into his anxiety, so much that he skips school so that for ONE DAY he doesn’t have to see J. 

I can FEEL that J thinks this (= Chiwoo accepting to be friendly with him) means that he is forgiven, that things are going back to normal. But the readers know what is happening and that Chiwoo already had part of his character development here, because he knows J is only doing what he wants, getting what he wants, without caring for anyone else. So he is already past the idea that any apology from J is sincere or need to be accepted.

THE PHONE NUMBER

Compared to the veiled threats of what we see between Chiwoo and J (of what the author wants us to see), the relationship between K and Chiwoo is much more “usual school romance”, why K stressing over the idea that J could be a rival, and asking for Chiwoo’s number, and backing down when asked.

I want to particularly highlight this part, because the panels are one after the other, which shows that they must be read one in the context of the other.

We have here K, asking for Chiwoo’s number:

And just after, here we have J somehow having managed to get or find Chiwoo’s number and telling him:

FRIENDS

I just wanted to also point out the different way J and K interact with Chiwoo when other people are around.

In the PAST we see that J does everything he can to keep Chiwoo isolated, from beating up a guy who could have become Chiwoo’s friend, to sleeping with Chiwoo’s date. And sorry after sorry, Chiwoo has no one else but J, so he forgives him.

Now in the PRESENT, we see that J starts to do the same thing. Literally putting himself between Chiwoo and his classmates (who, let me say, have started to warm up to Chiwoo thanks to K)

He also beat up a guy, and uses it as a way to coerce Chiwoo into paying attention to him.

Yes, what a classic move! When you are in love with someone and threaten their friends so that your lover knows they are being punished for ignoring you!

ASSAULT #2

The next day, Chiwoo finds J out of his house. I call this scene assault #2 because this is what it is. Chiwoo realizes, once more, that there are no words that can get through to J.

He has tried with the no, and now he reiterates with expressing WHY he wishes J could listen to him. He EXPLICITLY tells J that J’s presence makes him feel like shit. This interaction happens around chapter 13, and is just after Chiwoo has spent the day with K.  

Here, J DEMANDS to know what he can do to be forgiven, as if Chiwoo is a toy that used to function in a certain way, but now doesn’t give the appropriate responses at the appropriate command.

This is also absolutely dreadful, so I am not going to post screencaps, but there is NOTHING romantic about the feeling of being trapped and the dread that is drawn into Chiwoo, the moment he realizes he is going to be alone in the house with J.

And the focus here is: J keeps pretending to not know why Chiwoo hates him, why Chiwoo cannot accept his apology, but the moment Chiwoo’s mother leaves, J perfectly knows that the threat of a second assault is terrifying and realistic. This horrible scene is even worse when compared with the images of K angsting about his teenage crush on Chiwoo.

ALSO, I counted them. Chiwoo says stop 5 times and let go 2 times.

While J has been pretending to not know what upset Chiwoo, he has been knowing all along that the assault has scarred Chiwoo and does scare him to death, because he makes the direct connection of “You have been ignoring me, now I can ignore your no, and see, this is what happens, I told you to be careful”.

THIS IS MY MAIN POINT. Here, like in the past, there is no love in J’s actions, the assault is not a moment of passion, but a punishment. Now for having been ignored, then for having been ignored.

Luckily, this time, he stops, when he sees Chiwoo crying, but it is like he doesn’t SEE. He is wounded that Chiwoo would treat him like this, would speak to him like this, he WARNS him again to be careful with his words while literally looming over him.

J at this point realizes that he still has to earn his usual forgiveness, he thinks he knows how this goes along, he just needs to do be around Chiwoo, like usual, and Chiwoo one day will forgive him. 

And this is it, this is the most terrifying part. Chiwoo had just went through another traumatic experienced, caused by J, and flashbacks of being raped by J, and what J tells him is 

It hurts MY feelings. This is classic narcissistic abuser, manipulating people into looking at him as the victim, into pitying him.

Luckily, this time Chiwoo catches up on it, and out of his thoughts we have the confirmation that this is what J does, abuses and then asks for pity and forgiveness. 

OTHER SMALL THINGS

- Just the way the whole panel turns dark and gloomy, when Chiwoo thinks about J.

- Also, none of these messages from J exudes worry. One of them specifically says “Who are you with?”

And look at the difference between the messages K sends him:

- The way the interaction between K and Chiwoo are drawn. There are no black gloomy panels, no flinching. Chiwoo actually smiles

- The way Chiwoo remarks multiple time his frustration at trying to talk with J and how J just doesn’t want to hear him

KEEP READING (part 2)

[dylanxmin]

The Hills

pairing; min yoongi x reader

genre; smut, fluff, angst, established relationship au

rating; M +18

word count; 2.5k

warnings; swearing, little dark but romantic(?)

summary; y/n and yoongi having a ‘taking for granted’ relationship and clearly, neither of them had no idea about, how they affect each other, by having this kind of attitudes towards each other,,

a/n; okay,, here we are having a semi-one shot because i want this with another part, but i don’t think this would be more than three-part,, so i hope y’all will enjoy it while reading!! thnx for reading, again ♡

part 1 // part 2 << main masterlist >>

With the louder beat of the music, feeling the beat inside of your body, on every inch, you just rolled your body, synchronously with the music that you've been hearing, but mostly feeling, and you moved your body. According to loud music, and the crowd who were causing a really effective noise, you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, but you weren't complaining about this, actually this was better for you, not to be able to think, it was the best. What were you going to do with thinking anyways, going to feel miserable again for sure, thanks to your 'on-off' boyfriend, which is the best expression for him, for you. One second he was there, making you the happiest person in the world, and second, he was gone and even forget your existence like for one week or more, which you were semi-guilty for this occasions to happen to you, because you never said anything about this awful attitudes about your boyfriend, now it was a big blank that if he is still your boyfriend or not.

While you were dealing with these horrible, heartbreaking thoughts of you, a little pushed you felt behind yourself, with this a lightning rushed through your body, urgently turned your face, according to this, your body moved with you, now you were face to face with the person who was nearly laying on your back, seeing the person's clouded face, due to the smoke that covered the place, it was little hard for anyone to see the front of them, but you obviously recognized the person, who is standing in front of you, by his partly dark green hair, which they were soaking in wet and nearly clinging to his face, due to sweat. His little smirk, take its place on the corner of his lips, which that move caused you a little ache on the stomach, as now you were thinking to find ways to avoiding from him, because you were sure that he will be forgiven in a minute, when he apologize to you, with a half murmuring, by you. You knew that he shouldn't be forgiven that easily, in deep down, you wished that this time maybe would be different, but it's not.

You pushed your thoughts, to look at him more freely, which this was the first fault of yours on 'not forgiving him so easily' plan, but watching his dark sparkly chocolate eyes, encircled by his mini lashes, was way more a good plan than not forgiving him, for you. You were fighting with yourself for not touching to his lashes, especially when you were mad at him, at least you should be mad at him, but the truth didn't change your urgent need to touch him, held by him, but you barely able to hold yourself with a pinch of strength that you found inside of your mind. Your eyes were now tracing his cheeks, through the curled lips of him, now they were more plumpy and more touchable, but you hold yourself once more, but the strength of you was getting weaker now. Sadly, you tried to ease these needs, just by looking at his cheeks obviously, this wasn't enough for you to hold yourself back.

You wanted to touch him so badly that you could give up on something right now, but your pride was now standing on your way, remembering you what he was done to you, leaving you for almost for a week, with neither calling nor texting, you were just abandoned by him. But looking his face now, making the pain more bearable for you, yet this couldn’t be the reason why you would forgive him, he was owing you an apology, a really big one but, of course, you weren’t sure that he will be going to do it. A mini shaking, rushed through your body when his warm hands placed on your waist, heats of him, you felt on your body, making him more irresistible at the moment, which a little sight slipped between on your lips, as his hands were making you move with him. While you were watching a little drop of sweat, tracing his face to his neck, his smirks just stayed on his lips, so he knows that you could not resist him anymore, just choose to play with you like all the times he had done.

"Why are you here?" finally, you could gather your thoughts, and hardly take your looks by his face, heat rolled on your body, take its place on your waist, where his now holding it more tightly, fearing that you might be run away from him, which for him, you have all the right to do this. Actually he was more confused because you were still standing in front of him, not making any move to run away or simply kick him. As you were waiting for an answer, while goosebumps taking over you, thereby your time for waiting for him getting more shorten, because if he is not going to talk with you, apologizing to you, then there is no reason for you to stay here. Therefore, you just pushed him, for getting released by his hands, the ones, you want to hold by them, having them around your face, waist and everywhere of your body, but you resist the need and make a move to heading to exit of this room, then for the house, and maybe even from this existence, yet his big hands were there to hold you tightly, not letting you go, deeply you were thankful to this hold.

“Don’t go,” his thick voice, escaped by his lips in a whisper, that you could feel his needy tone in his voice, which it made you drop all of your walls that you have built on this week, for not forgiving him, but there were you, standing front of him, and clearly can’t let him go. You couldn’t look at his face, but rather your eyes searched the room like you never see it before. People were getting hyped up with the music they were hearing, alcohol wandering around their veins, giving them bogus confidence to make something so stupid that most of them were going to regret it in the morning, but you were in that stupid drunk club, so you were going to make a mistake that making you regret at the morning.

“Y/N, look at me.” your thoughts interrupted with his semi-demanding voice, he sounds weaker than before, this wasn’t his normal attitude, so it was surprising for you to believe, but you look at him, with a little force of his hands. Seeing his troubled eyes, which they were looking at you with a pinch of love, so shaky breath you let it to the air, by your lips. He was looking like the first time you met with each other, still a jerk but mostly innocence he was having inside of his personality, at least you thought that.

“What are you doing here, up so late?” his unbothered question had made your heart tremble over, by excitement. So you smiled at him, although he wasn’t even looking at you, at least he was interested in you(?) that was what you thought because he was looking more annoyed than being interested in you. “I-I came here to hang out,” your voice, couldn’t sound more insecure, but you hold your head up, giving him a determined look. His looks wandered around you, you didn’t know what caused it, but his lips curled up with a smirk that you couldn’t understand. “Well, if you want that then okay, come.”

When a memory headed to your thoughts, you couldn’t ask yourself, if you did the right thing for choosing to stay by his side, back then. “What do you want Yoongi,” bothered voice come out by your mouth, being like this, you never wanted this, getting sick of him, but you could swear that he was doing all of this fucking attitudes to you for making you sick of himself, and even sometimes you think that he was having fun with seeing you like this, a total miserable. “I really don’t have any energy to argue with you.” with whisper you continued, watching his face turning a darker, glumly expression, you felt guilty about it, but you were telling the truth. All of these years, you’ve been together with him, was nothing but a crazy relationship. (Some may call this as toxic but it wasn’t that bad for you.)

This three years with him, gave you very happy moments as well as very bad, having panic attacks kind of bad moments either, but you never felt this much overwhelmed by him. You never thought of letting him go, leaving for good, because leaving for him will never be a good thing, at least for you. “I don’t want to argue, Y/N. I just want to talk with you,” appealing eyes of him stopped you from leaving and causing you to feel more need for him, as his hands grabbed you with warming touches. This boy right in front of you was being unbelievably chaotic in your life and making it more and more complicated every day. And now, he wants to talk with you for good? You couldn’t believe it from heart, but there was no other choice for you to not listen to him because you were foolishly in love with him for almost four years and it was almost an addiction for you to listen to him.

Your glares stood on his face, soaked in wet hair of him you stared, the wet that dripping on his neck, your hand moves unintentionally and touch his cheek, caress it, while watching his face, you knew that he was there almost for an hour but he only came to your side now, after having fun with his friends and drinking until alcohol hits him and eventually he needs for you. Although, you give in and accept his offer because resisting him won’t change any emotions in you, you knew it for sure, so just excepting your feelings, isn’t the worst thing you would do in your life. His smile gets wider and you felt his hand on yours, grabbing it firmly, in case you change your mind, but it was one sure thing that you wouldn’t change it, as you had no strength in you to let him go.

While you were heading to the upstairs, for a more private place to talk, you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking, the days you’ve been together. One day, he would come at you, taking you to the dates, giving you lilacs because they were favorites of you, which it’s was really confusing for you to concentrate because this mood could change in a minute as you knew him that well. While you were together he was trying to make you laugh, telling you silly jokes that you had laughed until your breath cuts, and even he will come to your house for repairing your sink -at least he was trying to because things were gone worse with his few acknowledge about sink fixing- even though you didn’t call for his help, but he was there for you when you need him.

That’s why, you and he were complicated because he was like this, incredibly sweet towards you, caring for you even when he shouldn’t, but then he would turn into someone you clearly don’t know, leaving you without any news, in a blank space, won’t answer your calls or texts that you had been sending to him, and if you find him somewhere in luck, he would act like not knowing you or not caring you, a bit.

And this was what you were having in here now, he left you again, without any words, as you get used to this, but this time, seeing him like this, making it hard for you to accept him again. Finally, you got upstairs and entering one of the rooms, after being sure of that is empty and quiet. The room was semi-dark, lighten with the moon’s gleam, as you barely see each other’s face, but it was better for you to not see his face completely, because seeing him is making you more vulnerable in front of him, and he knew that so well. The only thing you were hearing now, your breaths that filling the room, and your heartbeats, which you were afraid that he could hear it, too. “I-I just-“ his useless effort for trying to come up with a word, now failed as he shuts his mouth, breaths of him now were heavier, which it was impossible not to hear, his hands were shaking with anxiety, so he holds them up to put them behind his head, maybe this could work for him to come up with the right words.

He wanted to tell you what you were meant to him, what have you done to him, how he could only think about you in the day time and how he dreams about you in the night. How his heartbeats go faster when you laughed at his jokes, wrinkles that come up on side of your eyes when you laugh, making his heart grow weak, and how hard for him to hold himself for not touching, kissing them, in the end, he would do it even how hard he tries. His whole senses go up and down, the very moment, when you put your pinch of hair behind your ears, feelings that he never felt in so long, just fucks his all senses when you are around him.

So he wanted to tell about all of these, that you were the only bright thing in his life, the most beautiful thing he ever saw, and even in his wildest dream he could never think of a pure and bright girl, like you, but you were real and standing on in front of him, laughing, smiling, giving him worried looks still, you were so unreal for him, yet you were real as hell and he couldn’t believe it, for that, he didn’t know how to act around you, and how to not fall for you.

While you two standing in this room, while eagerness growing inside of you, he was sure for one thing, that he was foolishly, unexpectedly, and heavily in love with you.

“I’m here to listen to you, Yoongi. Are you going to-“ your words now cut with his heavily weighted body, bumping into yours, as trying to make you a one person, which now you were numb on the mind, but your body was on fire, as his touches now placed on you, wandering all over you, like trying to find the unknown places of your body. As his hands now conquering you, though touches of him, taking you more close to him, as there was a way of being more closer than, already. You couldn’t resist him anymore and gave him a kiss in return, which you knew that this particular thing shouldn’t be done, by you.

[noona-clock]

Confusion & Coincidences - Part 6

Genre: Regency!AU

Pairing: Yongguk x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

You hadn’t seen the Earl again after your dance, but to be honest, you hadn’t really been looking for him. You’d been doing your best to avoid your mother, aunt, and even Alice. They were far too curious and eager to talk to you about anything having to do with him, and truthfully, you needed some time to process everything.

So, only about an hour after dancing with him, you’d feigned a terrible headache and taken the carriage back home.

Even though you were currently reading The Mysteries of Udolpho, you decided to curl up in bed with Pride & Prejudice instead. You wanted to re-read the part where Lizzy danced with Mr. Darcy to assure yourself that their dance had been nothing like your dance.

Because... you remembered what happened soon after their dance. Okay, well not really soon, but still.

After Lizzy and Mr. Darcy dance together at the Netherfield ball, Lizzy’s best friend, Charlotte, gets married to Lizzy’s cousin who just so happens to be connected to Mr. Darcy’s aunt. Lizzy goes to visit Charlotte, dines with Mr. Darcy’s aunt, and... of course, Mr. Darcy is there. And then he proposes.

Completely out of the blue! Lizzy has no earthly idea why because he has never expressed any sort of romantic feelings for her! And she has done quite the opposite!

Oh, dear, you couldn’t even imagine if the Earl proposed to you like that. Suddenly telling you how ardently he admires and loves you like Mr. Darcy did to Elizabeth.

Of course, your situations were entirely different. You’d known the Earl for less than a month, and you’d only spoken with him three times!

Three!

If the Earl proposed to you anytime soon, you would have to find out who this anonymous female author of Pride & Prejudice was, seek her out, and demand she write a new book where the hero and heroine meet normally, get to know each other, fall in love naturally, and get married like a normal couple would!

You stayed in bed reading for at least two hours, only snapping your book shut and sliding it under your pillow when you heard your mother and aunt arrive home from the ball. You quickly blew out your candle and pulled your bedcover over your head, hoping they wouldn’t disturb you since they believed you to be ill.

You should have known better.

Your mother gently knocked on your door, slipping inside and perching on the edge of your bed.

You expected her to bring up the Earl, of course - because why would you expect anything else?

But she simply asked, “How are you feeling, my dear?” as she rubbed your back soothingly.

“A little better,” you murmured, keeping hidden under the blanket. “I just need to sleep.”

“Yes, that always helps your father when he has one of his headaches,” she murmured.

You almost giggled because your father had let you in on a secret a few years ago: he didn’t really suffer from chronic headaches. He faked them most of the time so he had an excuse to leave a dreadful ball or a painful dinner. So you had used his own tactic tonight, and your mother was none the wiser.

“I guess I get them from him,” you sighed.

Your mother leaned over and placed a kiss on your head, patting your back before you felt her weight lift off the mattress.

“Get lots of rest,” she said before she left your room. “We’re paying a call to the Earl tomorrow, and I won’t have you showing up with purple shadows under your eyes.”

She closed your door before you could cry out in protest, though you probably shouldn’t have, anyway. Someone with a headache wouldn’t be bolting upright and yelling out ‘What?!’

But a visit to see the Earl?! Tomorrow?!

Why?!

Why why why why why did you have such a persistent, social mother who would stop at practically nothing to marry you off?!

You were the first to arise the next morning, which was not a surprise in the least. You very frequently woke before anyone else in your family, sometimes even your father.

You liked to take your time eating breakfast, enjoying the peace and quiet before the hubbub of the day began.

On mornings like today, after a ball, you got to enjoy even more peace and quiet since your mother always slept in later than normal. And today was no exception. You savored your breakfast, stayed in your nightgown a bit longer before dressing for the day, read some of The Mysteries of Udolpho, and by the time your mother appeared, you were in a particularly good mood from all the alone time you’d just had.

“Ah, good,” she murmured as she plopped onto the couch in the drawing room. “You are already ready.”

“Ready for what?” you murmured as you flipped a page.

“Ready to call on the Earl, of course. I just need a strong cup of tea, and then we shall depart.”

You froze, though you did let your book drop slightly. “Mama, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I very well am, I can assure you.”

“Why would we call on him?!” you asked with a bit of a whine.

“Because you danced together last night! It is perfectly acceptable to meet with him!”

“But, Mama --”

You were interrupted by your aunt’s butler appearing in the doorway with a very stone-faced expression.

“The Earl of Blackman is here to see you, ma’am,” he drawled.

A very loud gasp came from your mother, and your own jaw dropped - though no sound emitted from your throat.

...The Earl.

Was here?

So, apparently, it was perfectly acceptable to meet with him after dancing together last night.

“Yes, yes, show him in,” your mother replied hastily, practically jumping up from the couch and scurrying over to you. She smoothed down your hair and pinched your cheeks, muttering something about this being your chance.

“Mama, stop!” you muttered, trying to bat her away.

“Do remember your manners,” she whispered before darting out of the room.

--Wait, what?!

She had just left?!

You stood, preparing to run after her and pull her back into the room, but the Earl stepped into the doorway before you could.

“Ah,” you breathed, trying to gather your senses and act like nothing was wrong. Like nothing had happened. Like your mother hadn’t just abandoned you. “Good morning, my Lord. Please do come in.”

He tipped his head in a bow before stepping inside and... closing the door behind him.

“I am sorry to intrude on you,” he murmured. His hands were clasped behind his back now, and he started to pace slowly.

“Oh, no intrusion at all, my Lord. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

You watched as he paced, your brow furrowing with each passing second.

“I --” he began. “I would like to speak with you about something. Something... important.”

“Oh, dear,” you said softly, his words worrying you some. “What is it?”

The Earl took a deep breath, finally coming to a stop and facing you, though he could barely meet your gaze straight on.

“I know we have only just recently become acquainted, and our times actually meeting and conversing are quite few, but it has become extremely apparent to me that you are the type of person I would very much like to spend my life with. I believe - maybe wrongly so, but I still believe all the same - that you might feel the same way, and so I humbly request you please do me the honor of accepting my hand.”

...

...

...

...

Um...

Wha... 

What... 

Just... 

Happened...?

Had he just said... what you thought he said?

“I’m sorry?” you managed to ask, your voice nearly getting caught in your throat.

The Earl gulped, his voice a bit shaky when he responded. “Please... do me the honor of accepting my hand.”

“Your... hand,” you repeated, completely in a daze. “As in... your hand... in marriage?”

Surely... surely not!

“Yes,” he answered.

Oh, well, never mind.

“I --” you began, though you had no idea what you were going to say.

You were not the type to speak willy nilly. Most of the time, you thought out your responses carefully or you simply said nothing. But when you said nothing, it didn’t mean you had nothing to say. You always had something to say. Your brain was always full of thoughts and ideas and witty comebacks that were three hours too late.

But right now you could safely say you were speechless.

“I seem to have taken you quite by surprise,” the Earl mumbled.

“Yes, very much so,” you told him with a tiny nod. “I apologize, I just -- really? You... want to marry me?”

“I do.”

“But --” you took a breath, trying to calm down your racing heart. “But we hardly -- we hardly know each other!”

“You are not incorrect, but I believe we have learned enough about the other’s character to know we would be compatible.”

Okay, he wasn’t exactly wrong. You knew he hated balls and dancing as much as you did. And he liked to read the same kind of books.

But did that really constitute a solid foundation for a marriage?!

“I had no idea you -- I mean, you’ve never expressed any sort of feelings --”

The Earl closed his eyes, letting out a sort of frustrated sigh. But you could tell he wasn’t frustrated with you.

“I am not one to openly show my emotions,” he began. “As you learned from my cousin, I am rather shy. I do not have the open personality most people do nowadays, but I had hoped I was being -- “

He paused and then shook his head as if to say ‘never mind.’

And then he looked at you with hopeful but mournful eyes. “You are rejecting me, then?”

If your mother were in here, you would already be dead. You hadn’t immediately accepted, which was sufficient grounds to kill you.

“I just don’t -- I -- I mean, I would rather marry for love, and we don’t --”

“I understand,” he interrupted. “Please forgive me for taking up your time this morning.”

And before you could say anything else, he had bowed politely, turned on his heel... and left.

You stood in the drawing room, frozen on the spot.

Because what had just happened?!

Somehow, you had managed to persuade your mother the Earl’s visit had been nothing but a social call. He had simply inquired after your health after hearing you’d departed the ball early because of a headache.

This seemed to satiate her curiosity well enough, so you stole away to your bedroom to dissect everything the Earl had said.

But, really, any way you thought about it - he had just proposed to you.

The Earl of Blackman had just proposed. To you.

Had you not just been thinking last night about this very same situation?! You had been very sure that, just because Mr. Darcy had proposed to Lizzy, it did not mean the Earl would propose to you!

But he had.

So... things really were starting to play out like the plot of Pride & Prejudice.

What would happen next, then?! Would your sister create a scandal by running off with a soldier and forcing your father to pay him off to marry her?!

...Oh, wait. You didn’t have a sister.

But you did have a best friend. And Lizzy’s best friend ended up marrying someone far, far less than she deserved.

It might sound ridiculous, but you had to stop that from happening.

Just in case.

You grabbed your shawl and called out to your mother and aunt that you would be going out to visit Alice, not to worry, you’ll be back soon!

If your mother only knew the truth, she surely would be worried. Worried about your sanity, that is.

When you arrived at Alice’s grandfather’s house, you were escorted into his rather grand drawing room where your best friend was already taking tea and working on her embroidery.

“I daresay your headache is gone,” she smirked without even looking up from her needle.

“The Earl just asked me to marry him.”

“Ouch!”

Your sudden declaration had caused Alice to poke herself, and she quickly set down her embroidery hoop.

“What did you say?!” she cried, standing and rushing over to you.

“The Earl. Of Blackman. Asked me. To marry him,” you repeated with a deeply furrowed brow.

Alice’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “What?!” she laughed. “Oh, darling, this is wonderful --”

“You’re not getting married to my repulsive cousin, are you?!” you asked, clearly distressed.

Alice paused, her expression of delight turning to one of confusion. “I’m not... what?”

“In Pride & Prejudice, Mr. Darcy proposes to Lizzy out of the blue, exactly like how the Earl did to me just this morning. There was a ball and he was acting like a snob and then he went to London and Jane went after him - Mr. Bingley, not Mr. Darcy - and then I went after the Earl and there was another ball and the dance -- I have to make sure you don’t marry someone like Mr. Collins!”

Alice took your hands, leading you over to sit down on a very pleasant window seat.

“My dear, I believe your headache has turned into a delirious fever.”

“I know I sound ridiculous, but just assure me you are not getting married to someone who doesn’t deserve you, the angel that you are.”

Alice let out a soft chuckle, clasping your hands and gazing into your eyes. “I will not be marrying your repulsive cousin or someone named Mr. Collins or anyone less worthy. I promise.”

You let out a very heavy sigh of relief, letting your shoulders droop now that this weight had been lifted.

“But...” Alice continued. “I do believe your brother will be proposing any day now.”

For the second time this morning, you were taken by complete surprise. You were utterly shocked. You were speechless.

“M--my brother?” you stammered.

Alice pressed her lips together to keep from smiling and nodded.

“You -- you and... my brother? How -- when -- why --”

“I am so sorry I did not tell you sooner, but it has all happened somewhat quickly, and -- wait! What did you say to the Earl?!”

Oh, that’s right. You’d never actually told her you’d rejected him.

“I said ‘no,’ of course!”

“Why ‘of course’?!”

“Because we barely know each other!”

“That has no consequence! You have plenty of time to get to know each other after you’re married! Or while you’re engaged, even! Y/N, you must go to him and take it back!”

You mustn’t do any such thing! You’d just been dealt quite a serious blow upon hearing that your best friend... and your brother...

You had to get out of here. You loved Alice dearly, of course, but you couldn’t be near her at the moment. 

So you simply nodded. “Yes,” you mumbled to appease her. And then you forced a smile onto your lips. “I am happy for you.”

“And I, you,” she replied, her eyes filling with tears of joy (you presumed). “Come and visit me later?”

You hummed positively before standing up and making your way to the door.

If you had known the events of today would turn your world practically upside-down... you probably would’ve stayed in bed.

Part 7

[thelawyerthatwaspromised]

“But Sansa Lied to Jon!!!!”

As a person that believes very firmly that Jonsa is the most logical, poetic, and satisfying way to end the GoT/ASOIAF series, the push back against the Jonsa theory is often centered on some criticism of Sansa’s character. She’s also been the subject of innumerable theories regarding her loyalty to the Starks in general and Jon in particular.

The evidence (show wise) presented commonly points out her failure to tell Jon about the Knights of the Vale before the Battle of the Bastards or for not even telling Jon how she knew that the Blackfish had retaken Riverrun. 

I used to answer that it was a mistake that Sansa made and that Jon made it abundantly clear that he had forgiven her for these supposed transgressions so that, essentially, if it doesn’t matter to the characters then it shouldn’t “matter” to the audience in terms of judging whether Jon and Sansa have potential for a romantic future, and yet I now believe that only tells half the story. I still point to Jon’s forgiveness of her as dispositive proof that Jon doesn’t hold it against Sansa in the slightest - but I’m going to expand on why even the AUDIENCE shouldn’t hold it against Sansa.

I feel like a criticism of Sansa is the result of a significant failure to understand Sansa’s state of mind, a failure to understand what Sansa (rightfully) thinks of LF, and finally the VERY GOOD REASONS why Sansa didn’t want to tell Jon about LF.

[check under the cut]

Sansa’s State of Mind:

How easily people forget what Sansa was forced to endure BECAUSE OF LITTLEFINGER. 

She was used as a pawn by LF to marry Ramsay. Maybe he didn’t know how evil Ramsay was when he arranged the marriage. It doesn’t even matter. He manipulated Sansa into the idea. He already had planned to “ride to her rescue” (putting Sansa in another Lyanna parallel) without telling Sansa except Sansa took initiative (with an assist from Theon) and escaped before he could carry out his plans.

So LF hears about Sansa’s escape and tries to arrange a meeting with her. Everything you need to know about how Sansa feels about LF is revealed in the scene in Mole’s Town.

This was as much about Sansa wanting the opportunity to tell LF off as anything. LF surprises her a bit, though, when he tells her that the Vale is prepared to ride to her aid. He also makes her think about whether Jon and his Freefolk are enough to defeat Ramsay.

The scene ends with Sansa telling LF she NEVER wants to see him again. Remember that line. In response, LF tries to plant another seed of doubt in Sansa’s mind about Jon - making sure she hears that Jon is only her “half brother”.

Sansa never wants to see LF or acknowledge that he is a part of her story. She’s ashamed of any association she has with him. She wants to forget him because she now links him with Ramsay in her mind permanently. The evidence is the scene with Jon, Davos, and company making a plan to take back Winterfell where Sansa withholds how she learned about Blackfish retaking Riverrun.

Which Brienne calls her out on...and Sansa doesn’t really respond.

There are two reasons why someone would withhold an association from somebody: they are scheming against somebody or they are ashamed. Sansa doesn’t look angry at Brienne because Sansa’s mind is on the fact that she lied to Jon because of her shame.

Sansa hates her association with LF in light of meeting Jon. Jon immediately promised to watch over her, to go where she goes. She FINALLY has a connection that matters. If you were in Sansa’s shoes and you FINALLY have someone that is willing to show you dedication and love, would you want them to know that you are receiving help from someone you despise and you KNOW Jon will despise? Her shame of LF (and herself for ever using him to help her cause with Jon) causes her silence. How do I know this? Precisely because of the pattern Sansa shows AFTER Brienne questions her in this scene.

“HALF Brother” aka “How Sansa Reacts to Littlefinger’s Continued Manipulation Attempts”

At this point...Sansa tries everything in her power to NEVER SEE LITTLEFINGER AGAIN. She also immediately claims Jon as a Stark visually for the world to see. This is her own personal answer to Littlefinger’s games. In her mind, she’s already decided that he is wrong about Jon.

Sansa finds Jon and feels good. LF tries to plant doubt in Sansa about Jon. Sansa claims Jon unofficially.

Sequencing matters.

She specifically is attempting to do this without LF’s help. She travels to Bear Island with Jon. Her status as a Stark is questioned. She goes with Jon to meet Lord Glover. Again, her status as a Stark is questioned...and help is refused. Through no true fault of their own, Sansa and Jon are faced with serious roadblocks in building the army they need to defeat Ramsay and re-capture Winterfell. It becomes obvious that Jon and Sansa as a team just haven’t gathered enough men.

Sansa tells him repeatedly that they don’t have enough. It’s a point of contention for the audience with Sansa. My evidence that it was never because she was making some elaborate plan to have Jon killed is pretty straightforward:

1) She begged Jon to wait longer to march on WF so they could make another round to try and rally support in the North. If she wanted Jon to be overwhelmed and didn’t care if he died, it wouldn’t make any sense to beg that he delay so they can gather a stronger force WITHOUT LITTLEFINGER. Jon refuses to relent, though, knowing Rickon is alive and believing that he can save his brother.

2) She only asked Littlefinger for help AFTER it became clear that Jon wasn’t going to delay the attack. If her plan existed in any other form that was devious for Jon, she would have already had it figured out with Littlefinger.

Sansa recognizes that this is not shaping up to be a battle they can win. Jon responds that “where can we get more men!?” Sansa doesn’t respond that LF and the Knights could help. Because Jon is so aggressive, Sansa shows a very obvious sadness that she is now in a position of asking a person that cannot be trust for help. She hates feeling as if she must as LF for help...while also simultaneously realizing she can’t expect Jon alone to protect her. She MUST take an active role in protecting him as well.

Never a bad reason to show these two huffing and puffing as Sansa realizes that Jon can’t do this alone. 

So so so SOOOOOOO often this is used as damning evidence against Sansa. Why wouldn’t she tell him? Why would she hold back? Did she want him to die?

All of these inquiries completely miss a huge point: SANSA KNOWS HOW DANGEROUS LF CAN BE. 

She has no idea if he’ll help - but even if he does? She completely has her eyes on the danger LF presents to Westeros and to Jon. She knows LF wants everything. I’m positive she has a suspicion that he wants her too. Where would this leave Jon? Is LF a good person for herself and Jon to be indebted to?

The point of Sansa’s campaign with Jon around the North was an attempt by Sansa to keep from EVER needing or SEEING Littlefinger ever again. Ultimately, she identifies that it’s something she HAS to do.

She knows the stakes after interacting with Ramsay.

And she follows through on her promise to Ramsay that he is going to die.

But here’s where we see that SANSA WAS RIGHT.

Littlefinger DOES become a problem.

First, he tries to come onto Sansa AGAIN. It’s become known to her what he is after. LF wants the North and he wants Sansa and Jon stands in the way of both of these goals. She did NOT wants this. How do I know she didn’t want this?

Her visible discomfort as Jon is telling her that she is the only reason why the Battle of the Bastards resulted in their victory. It is the focus of the camera.

She tells Jon herself that only a fool would trust Littlefinger. She hated herself for being in the position to ask Littlefinger for help. She never wanted to see him again. She felt like a fool asking for his help in the first place! Which leads to...

Sansa apologizes for doing what had to be done to win the battle. This isn’t a point for Sansa fans to stand a cheer and point out how stupid and incapable Jon is either. Because Sansa detests Littlefinger as much as Jon does. She contemplated having Brienne kill him in Mole’s Town. She blames him for her marriage to Ramsay. But ultimately Sansa decided that Jon winning the battle was more important than her personal vendetta against Littlefinger.

In my opinion she rightfully assessed that Jon wouldn’t accept Littlefinger’s help (adding to the fact that she didn’t want it in the first place) because Jon specifically brings up that Sansa was sold to the Boltons by Littlefinger before she begins to talk about him.

It all points to Sansa struggling with the idea that she TRIED with Jon to rally the forces they needed to defeat Ramsay but, with survival on the line, she was forced to enlist LF’s help knowing full well the problems he was going to cause for them. 

Sansa regrets that she had to ask for help from somebody that she hates and wanted to avoid ever interacting with ever again.

Sansa’s now asked Jon’s forgiveness for not telling him. If she was scheming for power over him, there’s no scenario in which she wouldn’t demand that HE acknowledge her role in winning the battle. No, she’s guilt-stricken. And Jon’s reaction is what lifts her out of it.

There is no hint of bitterness from Jon. There is not doubt of Sansa’s loyalties. The way Jon responds to Sansa’s apology is how someone would deal with an apology from a person who’s been hurt and betrayed and closed themselves off as a defense mechanism...which is a feeling in Sansa that Jon desperately wants to break. He wants her to see them as a team. As a pair that can shares in each other’s joys and lessen each other’s burdens.

This isn’t Jon saying “tell me battle plans!” or “Sansa we have to be on the same page if we are gonna do this!” this is Jon saying “I get it. Let me share in your struggles, Sansa.”

This is Jon acknowledging that he couldn’t have captured Winterfell on his own and further that he needs her just as much as she might need him.

Finally in the end, Sansa was right.

This won’t even cover the practical effects of Sansa not telling Jon about LF (like the fact that it could have altered the battle plans in Ramsay’s favor) because that analysis is much more subjective with regard to what Sansa did or didn’t know about the battle. It’s focused on the personal reasons for Sansa not telling Jon about LF’s offer for help.

The idea that Sansa viewed LF as an undesirable threat against Jon and Winterfell? That’s much easier to prove in Sansa’s favor.

1) Jon Would Have Reacted Violently To LF’s Help

Jon couldn’t contain his emotions when it came to Sansa. LF picked up on it. Had Jon stayed, LF’s plotting would have revolved around killing Jon and/or placing him in the same position Robb was in when he was betrayed by his own bannermen. AFTER ONE CONVERSATION JON DOES THIS.

Confirmed.

2) Littlefinger’s Would Create A Problem That Only Sansa Could Solve (a game she never wanted to be forced to play)

“He’s a dangerous man. But even the most dangerous men can be outmaneuvered. And you’ve learned to maneuver from the very best.”

This is exactly what happened...except Littlefinger never imagined that he was talking about himself.

Confirmed.

3) Littlefinger’s Capability At Reading People Would Pose Problems For Sansa Personally

Sansa knows LF wants her at his side. She feels no personal danger from him. Her fear is for Jon. In a telling fashion, LF’s last scene before his execution has him prodding Sansa about her feelings with regard to Jon.

While Sansa detests Littlefinger, she now needs to resolve the situation where she can both 1) retain the loyalty of his forces; AND 2) protect Jon’s standing as KitN since she knows that is ultimately what he’s after. When she enlisted his help, she knew this would be a consequence...and one that she never desired having to confront in the first place. After the scene with Jon in the crypts, it becomes obvious that Littlefinger is acutely aware of how Jon feels for Sansa and he spends the rest of the season prodding how Sansa feels for Jon. This last scene, this enormously important last scene, tells us that he identifies their bond with each other and that a ROMANTIC rivalry is the only thing that could place himself in a position where he could pit Jon and Sansa against each other. 

Littlefinger realized that it was never about power for Sansa. It was about Jon. 

Conclusion: Sansa never wanted LF’s help. He enabled her abuse at the hands of Ramsay. She knew he did it out of a warped sense of love. She also realized that was a threat to Jon. She never wanted him involved in the first place and asking for his help felt like surrender to her. Yet she handled the fallout in a way that allows her (and Jon) to keep the Vale’s loyalty while eliminating Jon’s biggest potential threat that Sansa has any control over.

All along, Sansa not telling Jon about LF or the Vale was due to her desire to succeed without his help  along with her shame at being associated with someone that she hates and someone she knows Jon hates. The proof is in her last interaction with Littlefinger. 

Wherein Sansa finally gets the chance to announce to the world that Littlefinger betrayed her. She doesn’t forget. Jon doesn’t forget. These aren’t the Starks that Littlefinger is used to dealing with. They remember. The North remembers.

“Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

[knightofbalance-13]

http://alexlayer.tumblr.com/post/176844267252/how-not-to-ever-ever-defend-jaune-part-2

*clicks tounge* Yeah, you should probably stop demanding people not defend Jaune.

You will lose that battle.

Thanks @saltwukong for the title idea, and yet again, here’s another argument deconstruction, courtesy of @outcasts-redeemer‘s stubbornness. (Full thread here.)

Yes because listening to the guy known for lying is such a great idea...

Yes, yes he DID hypocritically lecture Neptune about it, because nothing in that scene truly shows that he learned anything other than to finally get the hint that Pyrrha likes him. He disregarded Weiss’ feelings – multiple times – and then tries to lecture Neptune on doing exactly that. That’s hypocrisy in a nutshell.

You know, he did learn he should have taught about PYRRHA’S feelings as well. And THAT was what he learned. And that beyond this scene, we see him never asking Weiss out again. So evidently he did learn something.

For him to not be a hypocrite in that scene, it’d require that he’d actually own up to his mistake, and apologize to Weiss for how he acted. Even if it was as much as telling Pyrrha that he realized he acted improperly towards Weiss (and maybe leave the apologize for later) would suffice to let the audience know that he has actually learned, but no such thing happen, and at no point Jaune actually recognizes that he did anything wrong. Thus, he’s in absolutely no position to call out Neptune for anything.

Not really, what Neptune did was actually worse. He kind of lead Weiss on and then basically broke her heart. I think anyone not named ‘Adam’ has the right to call Neptune out on that one.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Weiss having been a bitch does not in any way justify Jaune being a douche and keeping on hitting on a girl who’s clearly got no interest in him whatsoever.

And the most Weiss did was try to get Pyrrha to be her partner for as much as a single scene, not constantly push her into anything, through multiple occasions, while she clearly expresses disinterest, like Jaune did for Weiss.

Not the point here. The point here is to point hypocrisy, like how you bash Jaune for doing something you forgive Weiss for doing.

Not to mention that Jaune only asked Weiss out three times. DID constantly push her in that sceen while showing disinterest by trying to get away. That’s how shy people show disinterest: trying to get away.

Again, that doesn’t justify anything.

And again, that’s not his point, which is actually trying to EXPLAIN it.

Yeah, it’s in the show, and it makes no freaking sense at all. Pyrrha said she liked Jaune because he treated her like a normal person and didn’t put her on a pedestal to, you know, the guy who went nuts over discovering she was that celebrity in the cereal box and laughed at the idea that the Pyrrha Nikos would be without a date to the dance. The show tells you one thing and then it shows you another, and that has hardly ever been as blatant as with this scene.

That isn’t putting her on a pedestal. That’s just being in awe for a few seconds. And Pyrrha was clearly hurt by what Jaune said. And even then, you miss all the times Jaune treats her as an equal or doesn’t seem to care about her being some huge celebrity.

This is just you trying to justify irrational hatred.

And Jaune was infatuated with Weiss, but there’s a big difference between that and actually caring for someone, especially when it’s clear that Jaune doesn’t even know Weiss that well.

*sighs* And the purpose of dating is suppose to be GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE. That’s like saying ‘You’re a racist!’ while slapping down any attempts at them trying to not be racist.

Neptune is a douche, there’s no denying that, but you know what’s good about it? That the show doesn’t pretend he’s anything else, which is why he’s so often the punch of nearly every joke.

... No, that’s Jaune. Jaune is the punch of nearly every joke. Neptune is the punch of THREE jokes, one of which is just about his fear of water.

But it’s really telling that you wanna demonize him, yet seem to ignore everything wrong the boy you’re trying to defend did. You know, like cheating into a school he was not fit in, putting his friends and classmates in danger, lying to his teammates, disregarding the feelings of a girl he’s crushing in, ignoring his partner, being a hypocrite, getting mad when your partner shows better leadership than you do.

A. You do the exact with Weiss here.

B. Jaune probably never got the chance.

C. name one time

D. name one time and no, the cheating doesn’t count because they know about that.

E. Not only does he fix that but both Neptune AND Weiss do the same shit

F. Glass houses

And G. Source.

What input? No, seriously, what fucking input? Nobody, NOBODY called him out on he was doing because despite everything, the narrative was bent over backwards with trying to make us sympathize with him. Pyrrha just told him to go for it first, then just told him why she liked him later on, and he and Ruby just talked about practically nothing.

Pyrrha and himself.

You do know the narrative made Jaune drop this right? You outright admit it so you KNOW this.

Jaune learned absolutely nothing of value here.

You misspelled “I”.

The only thing he learned is that “hey, maybe I should turn my eyes on the girl that’s clearly pinning for me rather than the one I’ve obviously got no chances with” and went with it, and then for some reason felt entitled and/or emboldened to call out Neptune for disregarding Weiss’ feelings despite having done just the same himself and never apologizing or even recognizing he did wrong before.

Which is why we NEVER SEE HIM HIT ON PYRRHA EVER or even show faint interest in her as a romantic partner and only did what he promised. Doesn't really work if you think for more than 2 seconds.

You mean, the fall they still both had to endure? The only thing really saving them there was cartoon physics.

And don’t you even dare box Ruby with Jaune. Ruby went to fight the Death Stalker because that’s just her thing and she honestly thought she could beat it. At no point there’s any suggestion that she did it to impress Weiss.

You strike me as the type of person who would scream at a firefighter who got his face burned off for not saving your TV.

And while that is partially correct: Jaune didn’t do it to impress Weiss. He did it because altruism.

So what’s he even protecting her from if not from Neptune then, mh?

Broken feelings.

At any rate, did you stop for a moment to consider she never needed him to protect her, or her feelings, from anything here? When was Weiss even shown to be hurt by what happened? You know what’s the difference between her and Jaune? It’s that when she gets rejected, she takes it like much more of a man than he’ll ever get to be and just gets over it. Doesn’t push it, doesn’t mope about it, just lets it go. She was fine going to the dance just by herself, and didn’t need some douche who kept disregarding her feelings acting like he had to save her from some injustice that was never there to begin with, because again, no matter what Neptune did, he was never obligated to accept Weiss’ invitation.

The fact that she’s sad about it.

And yet when Neptune disregards Weiss’ feelings: that’s perfectly fine.

Do you even realize how much you’re reaching now, trying to make a moment where these two never even interacted somehow be about them?

... DO you know how much YOU’VE been reaching?

Hell, I can barely see your point since this could be argued as “Jaune is not the same person you’re bitching about.

’m not going to blame Jaune for Cinder’s action. I’m going to blame Jaune for being an idiot who jumped the gun and put his whole team in danger for rushing into a fight, breaking his team’s formation and then allowing their enemies to pick them out one by one at their own leisure. That’s without mentioning that nearly everyone there had reasons to be really pissed at Cinder and her colleges, yet Jaune was the only one who lost his cool, and it’s certainly not helped by the fact that the last trigger was just that Cinder didn’t know who he was.

...

There was no formation, they weren’t going for a fight, that was gonna happen anyway and the narrative AGREES with you.

Not to mention it didn’t occur to that responding to “You’re a cold heartless monster who destroys the lives of everyone around you without as much as ounce of regret” with “who are you?” kind drives home the point Jaune was making: Cinder didn’t even care enough to remember her actions.

This is a BASIC HUMAN REACTION. The fact that this never occurred to you kind of shows how fucked you are in regards to Jaune.

Fuck that. You bet your ass I’m gonna go there, specially if you’re gonna do something as petty as try to blame Weiss for Pyrrha’s death. He had ONE job and he fucking blew it because he couldn’t fucking focus on it. Thirteen seconds is more than enough to spot an opponent and ready your shield for them, anyway.

A. Where he did he do that? I am not gonna find proof FOR you.

B. His best friend was screaming in pain. This is the second time you’ve bashed Jaune for having a human reaction.

C. yeah but guy who can barely kill an Ursa Vs. Woman who punted Ruby rose around like a toy. Jaune was gonna fail no matter what.

Jaune snapping and rushing into a fight was still a stupid thing to do, and it’s something for which others have been called out for doing in canon, so you can bet I’m going to call him out on this, especially since Cinder likely wouldn’t have even thought of targeting others if he kept his mouth shut. You just can’t guarantee things playing out the same even if there had been some changes, especially when the whole scene is set up in such an obvious, contrived way.

Well then, i’m gonna go there as well:

Cinder took joy in causing pain to Amber and gloated over killing Pyrrha. She was gonna target others no matter what. She’s a fucking SADIST. Or would you rather have Ruby be in this situation so we can see your bias?

And yeah, I can. it's this thing called LOGIC.

Yeah, sure, sure, but see, fittingly enough, you’re just like the show you’re trying to defend. It says one thing, it shows another. Sorry to tell you, but I’m not buying into any of this bullshit.

And you’re just like what you accuse this person as: Someone who says one thing and says another while also irrationally defending their points. So by your own rules, no one should buy your bullshit.

And Weiss getting hurt for the sake of Jaune’s manpain and unlocking his Semblance was the cherry on top of the cake, and they fucking better not also try to use this as an excuse for Weiss respecting Jaune from here on, because that’s just gonna be the drop that does it.

... SO where’s the point where Jaune is used to show Ruby’s womanpain in Volume 4? Where’s the point of Blake being used for Yang’s womanpain in Volume 3? Where’s the point of Jaune being used for Pyrrha’s womanpain in Volume 2? Where’s the point of Ozpin being used for Ruby’s womanpain in Volume 1?

You may as well scream “I’M SEXIST!” at the top of your lungs.

You tried to blame Weiss for Pyrrha’s death! You can’t get any more blatant with shitting than that!

And you defended other characters for doing what Jaune did. You’re no better.

Also proof.

It’s called criticism, bucko. If you don’t like it, do yourself a favor and block the RWDE tag.

Jaune h8.

You literally tagged as hate.

Even if this guy is a Jaune stan, you’re no better. You’re just the opposite extreme.

[nicolehughes1991]

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[ortizroger]

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What Can You Do To Get Your Ex Back