#2) it will effect open rates and conversion

[alisoncooper]

made a mistake in my new job of two months and being so so so brave about it

[littlebluebird2000]

Where the Lotus Grows

PART 7: Secrets in Her Sleeves

pairing: yeon si-eun x reader (female reader)

rating: 18+

genre: romance, historical setting, slow burn, smut

warnings: smut, family conflict, power imbalance, death, su*cide, bullying, social pressure, trauma, violence

summary: within the walls of the royal palace, nothing is ever as it seems. as subtle glances turn into quiet conversations, and duty begins to blur with longing, you must learn to survive the delicate game of court life without losing yourself.

author's note: i had to split this chapter into two because it was too long! the end is near! who will come up on top? i’m always so grateful for the love i’m receiving for this fic. it means the world to me. please like share and comment to support me! i love to hear your theories on were the story will go and who you find suspicious. i try to reply to most comments, so please let me know your thoughts. byee <3

word count: 8k

part 1. part 2. part 3. part 4. part 5. part 6.

part 7. part 8.

The room felt heavy that night. The soft clinking of chopsticks and quiet rustle of robes filled the space, but none of it settled in your mind. You sat across from Sieun at the low table in his bedchamber, your bowl barely touched. You pushed your food around absently. It tasted like nothing. Your hands were trembling slightly, and you knew he had noticed.

He set his chopsticks down, eyes never leaving you. Then he leaned in, voice low and steady. “You are not yourself tonight, Y/N. What troubles you?”

You opened your mouth, then shut it again. The words stuck in your throat. You shook your head, trying to hide the tremble in your voice. “It’s nothing.” You whispered, forcing a small, fragile smile.

His expression softened. He reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You can tell me. Whatever it is, I’m here.”

You hesitated. The weight in your chest pressed harder. You bit your lip, then lowered your eyes. For a moment, you tried to hold it in, but the ache was too much. Your shoulders shook as a tear slid down your cheek.

Sieun moved without hesitation. He rose from his cushion and came to sit beside you, then pulled you gently into his arms. His hands were warm and steady, holding you close as you leaned into him. Your tears spilled freely, soaking into his sleeve while his hand moved slowly across your back.

He didn’t speak. He simply stayed with you.

Time passed, slow and silent, until your sobs faded into shallow breaths. When you finally pulled back to look up at him, his gaze held nothing but quiet worry and something deeper. A softer kind of pain.

“Please.” He said softly. “Tell me what happened today. What made you so upset?”

You swallowed hard, voice still trembling. “Everything was fine… at first. I was with the ladies today. We were embroidering.”

You paused. He waited patiently.

“Then I was summoned by the Queen.”

He stilled slightly. You felt it. His arms around you tightened just a little.

“What did she say?”

“She offered me tea.” You said. “It tasted normal. I didn’t think anything of it.” You paused, biting the inside of your cheek. “But when I stood to leave… she smiled at me. Asked if I wanted the recipe.”

You looked down. “She said it was very effective. Then she told me what it was.” Your eyes stung again. “Contraceptive tea. Just like that. As if it were nothing.”

A long silence stretched between you. The fire crackled low in the brazier across the room.

Sieun’s jaw tensed. Anger flashed in his eyes. “Do you think… that you could be…”

You shook your head. “No. I bled just recently, so I know I’m not with child. But still. It wasn’t about that. It was a warning. She wanted me to know… that even if we dream of a future, our children will never be safe.”

Sieun stood suddenly. You heard the sharp inhale just before his fist slammed into the wardrobe. The sound cracked through the room. You flinched.

You wiped at your face with the sleeve of your robe, tears still falling. “I thought…” Your voice shook. “I thought I was beginning to belong here. I let myself believe we were safe.” Another tear slid down. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

He turned back to you, the light of the fire casting his face in flickering shadow. His expression was fierce, but his steps were slow as he returned and knelt beside you.

He took your face in both hands, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

“None of this is your fault.” He said. “The Queen is cruel.” His voice was low, controlled, but burning. “She wants to break what we haven’t even had the chance to build.”

You searched his eyes, afraid of what came next, but they held steady.

“I won’t let her.” He said. “I’ll make this right.”

His words settled into your chest like stone. Heavy. Certain. You nodded slowly. Even through the ache, the fear, and the doubt…you believed him.

You always had.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The room had fallen into stillness.

Behind the soft curtain, you lay curled beneath the covers of Sieun’s bed. Sleep had taken you gently this time. Your breathing was slow and even, your body finally at rest after a long, unraveling day.

Across the room, Sieun sat at his desk. A single candle burned beside him, its light casting gold across his face. The brush in his hand moved with quiet precision over the parchment, each stroke deliberate.

But once, the ink bled too far. His hand had pressed down harder than he meant to. He paused, then calmly replaced the page and started again, as if the motion might settle the unrest still tightening in his chest.

A knock came. Low. Measured.

“Enter.” He said.

Suho stepped inside and bowed.

Sieun stood and handed him a folded letter, sealed with wax.

“Deliver this to Lord Shin. Directly.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Double the guard in the inner residence. Discreetly. Place two near the side path, and another pair near her doors. If anyone questions it, say the order came from the King.”

Suho nodded, his expression unreadable. “As you wish.”

When the door slid shut again, the quiet returned. The candle flickered slightly. The fire in the brazier crackled once, then hushed.

Sieun stood in silence for a while. His gaze drifted to the side. He could see the outline of your form, barely visible in the faint glow. Still. Safe.

He walked over.

You had shifted in your sleep, the blanket slipping just past your shoulder. He reached down and gently pulled it back up, tucking it around you. His fingertips lingered there for a moment, brushing lightly against the edge of your collar.

For a few seconds, he stayed like that. Watching you. The anger that had burned earlier had not left him, but it softened now, shaped by something quieter. The curve of your face in sleep... The way your hand rested near your heart…

He would make sure you wouldn’t lose your light…

Then he turned away and returned to the desk.

And he still had work to do.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You woke slowly, the morning sun slipping in through the lattice and painting pale gold across the wooden floor. The bed beneath you was warm, the scent of pine still lingering faintly in the air. For a moment, you stayed still, the silence wrapping around you like a second blanket.

You turned your head. Sieun’s desk was empty now. The candle had burned low, its wax cooled in a still puddle. His writing supplies were neatly put away. You imagined he had stayed up after you drifted off, reading or writing—watching over you.

The door slid open gently.

“Your Highness…” Seorin’s voice was soft, almost hesitant. She stepped in with a basin and clean cloths, setting them quietly on the table beside the bed. “Forgive me. I knocked, but you didn’t answer. I thought you might still be resting.”

You sat up slowly, rubbing your hands over your face. She handed you the warm cloth, and you pressed it against your cheeks, grateful for the comfort.

Seorin sat on the edge of the bed, folding her hands in her lap. She didn’t ask any questions.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened yesterday.” She said gently, eyes fixed on the folded fabric in her hands. “But just know… I will always be here for you, Your Highness.”

You looked at her. The words settled into your chest like warmth through cold water.

“I thought I was ready for anything.” You murmured. “But I wasn’t ready for that.”

She didn’t ask what you meant. She didn’t need to.

“I saw the way you came out of her quarters.” Seorin said, her voice even. “I saw it on your face.”

You didn’t speak. The blanket bunched in your hands.

“She wants to shake you.” Seorin continued. “She wants you off-balance. But she’s the one who’s afraid.”

You nodded faintly. The light felt sharp this morning. Not harsh, exactly. Just too honest.

“I dreamed of a beautiful pond last night.” You said, voice quiet. “Full of lotus flowers. But when I reached out to touch one, it withered beneath my hand.”

Seorin looked at you for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then she reached forward and adjusted the blanket around your shoulders.

“Dreams can feel heavy.” She said softly. “But a flower withers only to bloom again, your Highness. Even the lotus returns after the frost.”

You let the silence stretch between you. The dream still clung to the edges of your thoughts, but her words stayed too, like a small weight resting against the fear.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The room was dim, the brazier burning low with a slow curl of smoke rising from the coals. It was a side chamber rarely used, tucked behind the royal library. The servants had been dismissed hours ago. Only two figures remained.

Sieun stood by the window, the moonlight tracing the lines of his face. His hair was neatly tied, his posture composed. At first glance, he looked every bit the poised prince. But there was a tension in his shoulders, a stillness too sharp to be calm. Beneath his eyes, faint shadows lingered. The kind left by sleepless nights and thoughts that would not quiet.

The King sat across the room, swirling rice wine in a shallow porcelain cup. He looked less like a monarch tonight, more like a tired man who had lived through too many winters and buried too many truths.

“You’re certain…?” The King said finally, his voice low.

Sieun nodded. “The Queen is involved. Not directly, perhaps. But enough to let it happen. Enough to know what he’s planning.”

The King took a slow sip. “And the tea?”

“She gave it to Y/N herself.” His jaw tightened. “She’s threatening my family.”

The King’s fingers paused over the rim of his cup. “She grows bold.”

“She grows desperate.” Sieun replied.

A long silence followed.

“You know.” The King said, almost lightly. “She used to beg me to send you away. Even before your mother’s death. Said you were too quiet. Too clever.” He turned his gaze toward Sieun. “She feared what you might become.”

Sieun did not move. “She had good reason.”

The King chuckled without warmth. “Indeed.”

Outside, the sound of a night bird echoed once and fell silent.

The King hummed softly. He poured himself another cup, the wine catching the light like blood. “You were a child when she died, your mother.” His tone had shifted. “But you remember her.”

“I do.”

“She said you were the only thing that ever made her feel safe.” The King looked at Sieun, eyes darker now. “Do you think I failed her?”

Sieun didn’t answer right away. “I think she died surrounded by enemies.”

The King raised his cup. “And now?”

Sieun met his gaze. “Nothing has changed.”

A moment passed before Sieun continued “They’ve made my wife a target because of me. Because of who she is to me. And you know what the Queen is capable of. You knew it then. You know it now.”

The King stared down at his cup, swirling the wine slowly.

“With the days approaching…” Sieun’s voice cracked slightly, the first hint of emotion slipping through. “Her memorial. I cannot let history repeat itself. My mother was swallowed whole by this palace…They think they can do the same thing twice and get away with it. This time, I’m here to stop it.”

“You speak of vengeance, son.”

“I speak of justice.”

A beat of silence.

Sieun’s jaw clenched. His fists tightened at his sides. “I’m not asking for favors, father.” He said. “I’m asking you to act before it’s too late. Don’t let them take her the way they took my mother. You must know her death wasn’t what they claimed. You must know that by now.”

Finally, he spoke. “You think me a man who forgets?”

Sieun held his breath.

“I have never forgotten.” The King said. “But I also know how to wait. That is how one survives in a place like this.”

Sieun leaned back slightly, his shoulders stiff. His voice was quiet, but the weight behind it had sharpened. “Waiting has its cost. If a rumor is spoken often enough, it begins to shape the truth. In this court, what people believe can become more real than what actually is.”

The King’s eyes narrowed, but Sieun did not back down. “If these rumors go unchecked, they will become weapons against her, against me. I ask you to see reason and act before it’s too late. They test us with every breath, pushing the limits of what they can do.”

The King studied Sieun for a long moment, his gaze steady and unreadable. Finally, he spoke, his voice calm but edged with warning. “I understand your concerns, and I see the weight you carry.” He set down his cup with deliberate care, his eyes narrowing slightly. “But this is a game of patience, not haste. To act recklessly is to hand them the advantage.”

Sieun’s jaw clenched tighter. His shoulders remained stiff, rigid with frustration and unease, but he nodded in understanding.

The King studied Sieun for a long moment, his expression calm but serious. Finally, he said. “You may leave for now. We will speak again soon.” His eyes held Sieun’s with quiet intensity. “But I need you to trust me, son.”

Sieun inclined his head again, the weight of unspoken commands heavy in the room. As Sieun turned to leave, the King’s voice softened, almost tender.

“I hope you know that your mother was the love of my life.”

Sieun paused, then met the King’s gaze with steady resolve. “If that is so.” He said quietly. “Then do her memory justice from now on.”

The King nodded once, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.

Sieun left without another word, the door closing softly behind him.

The room fell into silence once more.

The King did not move. He stared at the dying fire, its embers pulsing low in the brazier. The scent of smoke clung to the air, faint and bitter.

He reached for the cup of wine, then stopped, letting his hand fall back to the table.

She hated when he drank…

His gaze drifted to the far wall, but he wasn’t looking at anything in the room.

“Oh, My Love.” He whispered. “If only you could see the man he has become.”

A breath caught in his throat.

“He speaks with your fire. He holds his pain the way you did, quietly, like a secret he thinks no one can see.”

He leaned back, eyes misted, lips pressed together as if holding back the rest of the words.

“You would be proud of him.” He said at last.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You wandered outside without truly meaning to, guided only by the weight in your chest. The garden at Sieun’s estate had grown familiar over the past months. It was quieter here. The air smelled of warm earth and pine. The guards kept their distance, and no one asked questions.

Your feet followed the worn path around the edge of the trees, past the stone lanterns, until you came upon the old swing.

You sat down without hesitation. You had claimed this place long ago. Lady Yeon’s presence still lingered here, but it no longer felt distant or untouchable. It felt like memory. Like inheritance.

That was when you noticed it.

In the pond.

One of the lotus flowers was dying.

The petals, once full and bright, had begun to curl inward. The tips were browned, brittle, already folding toward the water. A few had fallen, drifting along the surface like pieces of something once sacred.

You stared at it for a long time, eyebrows furrowed.

It was just a flower. But your breath caught anyway.

It felt like an omen.

The breeze shifted. You felt it against your skin but could not bring yourself to move. You closed your eyes and leaned forward slightly, hands clasped in your lap. For a moment, your thoughts drifted to your old life. The countryside. The fields behind your family’s kitchen. Your sister brushing her hair at dusk. The smell of rice cooking in the pot. The simple days. Days without poison disguised as tea.

You missed it. That life.

But even as the ache took shape in your chest, so did something else.

Sieun.

You touched your hair, fingers brushing against the lotus pin he had given you. His mother’s…

You thought of him. Not to the cold version others feared. Not the prince. But the quiet, steady presence that had become the center of your days. The man who listened. Who held you when you cried. Who trusted you when others doubted. Who cherished you.

Somewhere along the way, he had become your world…

Your life wasn’t peaceful here.

It was full of dangers. Of secrets. Of whispered threats and uncertain mornings.

But you would still choose it.

Even if the countryside had been easier.

Even if your past had been softer.

You would still choose this. You would choose him.

The idea of life without him felt hollow. Empty in a way you could not put into words.

You opened your eyes again, glancing down at the pond.

The dying lotus was still there. Its edges brown and soft. Its beauty slipping away…

And yet… next to it, buds stood waiting. Upright and pale green, holding their shape tightly closed. Unbloomed. Alive.

For the first time in hours, you let yourself believe..

Not everything was dying.

Some things were just beginning.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You sat quietly at the table, the folded cloth resting in your lap, warm from your hands. The scent of ink and sandalwood lingered in the still air, soft and familiar. Sieun was at his desk, bent slightly over the scrolls spread before him, his brush gliding in calm, deliberate strokes. You watched the way his brow furrowed in thought, the subtle shift of his sleeve with each motion. He did not speak, but his gaze drifted to you more than once, as if just knowing you were near brought him ease.

“I have something for you.” You said, breaking the silence.

Sieun looked up at once. He set the brush down with care beside the inkstone, then turned fully to face you. His eyes searched yours with quiet curiosity.

You walked to him and held out the cloth, folded with care. Your fingers brushed when he took it from you.

He opened it slowly.

The embroidery stretched across the fabric like a garden in still bloom. Soft threads of ivory and pale pink formed the lotus flowers, their petals unfolding with careful grace. At the center, stitched just beneath two blossoms, was his family’s crest. It was small, but unmistakable.

Sieun did not speak at first. He studied the pattern with a quiet reverence. “It’s exquisite.” He murmured, his fingertips hovering over the threads without pressing down. “You placed my crest among the flowers...” He said quietly.

You nodded. “I wanted to show that you could grow something beautiful… That what your mother left behind still lives. That you do not carry her memory alone.”

His eyes stayed on the embroidery for a long time.

“She loved lotus flowers.” He murmured. “She said they were strong. That no matter how dark the water, they would bloom.”

“I remember.” You said. “That’s why I chose them.”

He finally looked at you. His face was still, but something deeper flickered in his gaze. He folded the cloth carefully and placed it on his desk. He stood and pulled you towards him.

He brought his hand to your cheeks, watching you carefully. His fingers were warm, steady.

And then he kissed you.

It was full of intention, like a promise quietly spoken. When he pulled away, his gaze stayed locked on yours.

“You are a remarkable woman.” He said. “I hope you know that.”

You smiled softly. “I only wanted to give you something real. Something that would last.”

He touched your hand again, gently pressing your fingers between his. “You already have.” His fingers laced with yours, and he leaned down, brushing a kiss against your cheek. When his lips found yours, it was quiet but filled with purpose.

He pulled back just enough to whisper against your lips. “Come to bed.”

Your breath caught. You let him lead you to the edge of the mattress. He sat and pulled you into his lap, your knees straddling his as his hands found your waist. His lips moved along your neck, your collarbone, drawing quiet sighs from you.

He kissed you again, slower this time, lips parting slightly, inviting. Your breath hitched as his mouth moved with yours, the heat between you growing steady and real.

He pulled back just slightly, his breathing uneven. His hand moved to your jaw, then lower, fingers grazing the side of your throat. Not tight, just firm enough that you felt claimed. Grounded. His thumb rested just beneath your chin, holding you there.

His eyes searched yours, heavy with meaning.

“You are mine.” He said, voice low. “Do you understand that?”

Your breath caught as his grip tightened just a little, not in control, but with the aching care of someone holding something they could not afford to lose.

He leaned in, brushing his lips over your lips, almost teasingly. The touch sent a warmth through your skin, a promise whispered without words.

“You are my woman. My wife.” He murmured. “No one will ever take you from me. I will protect you with everything I have.”

Your pulse thundered in your ears, your body responding to the steady heat of his presence. In that moment, surrounded by quiet and shadow, you felt utterly seen and claimed.

He held you a moment longer before easing his hand from your throat down to your waist, pulling you closer still. His lips found yours in a slow, deep kiss that spoke of longing and devotion.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him tightly. The world outside the walls of his chamber ceased to exist as the two of you found solace in each other’s arms, a refuge against the storms that threatened to tear your lives apart.

Something swelled inside you, rising fast and thick in your chest, too large to name. Your eyes burned and you blinked against the sudden sting of tears

You looked at him, really looked, the sharp lines of his face softened by the firelight, his gaze steady on yours. This was the man who had stood between you and danger. Who had chosen you when he had nothing to gain. Who had bled for you without hesitation. Who had held you through every broken moment and never once looked away.

“I love you.” You whispered.

The words left your lips before you even knew they had formed. You blinked, startled by the truth of them. You hadn’t said it before. He hadn’t either. You both hadn’t dared to name it. But now it filled your chest so completely you could hardly breathe.

Sieun froze.

His eyes widened, fixed on yours with something close to disbelief. His fingers tightened slightly at your waist, not in urgency but as if grounding himself, as if the moment might vanish if he moved too quickly.

“You…” He said, voice low, barely there. He blinked once, still watching you as though trying to be sure. “Say it again.”

You swallowed, heart pounding. The way he looked at you made it feel like the world had narrowed to this single moment.

“I love you, Sieun.” You said again, a little breathless this time.

His forehead pressed to yours, and his voice broke around the edges. “You don’t know what that means to me.” He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that felt like surrender. “I love you too.”

You tugged at the tie of his robe and felt it fall open with ease. He helped you shrug yours off your shoulders, his eyes never leaving you. When your skin touched, it was like something inside you clicked into place. Sieun’s lips pressed against your skin with sudden intensity, rougher than before. You couldn’t hold back the soft, startled moan that slipped from your throat. He gripped you tighter, his breath hitching as the sound stirred something deeper between you.

He eased you gently from his lap and guided you down onto the bed. Your back met the soft mattress as he leaned over you, his body settling against yours as if it belonged there. He knew every inch of you, and he explored you now not like a stranger in awe, but like a man returning home.

Your fingers curled into his hair, pulling him in. His mouth found your shoulder, your collarbone, the hollow at your throat, each kiss more deliberate than the last. Your eyes fluttered shut, the sensation blooming across your skin, too much and not enough all at once.

His fingers slipped between your legs, teasing you open until your hips lifted instinctively, seeking more. The sound that left your lips was soft, desperate. He swallowed it with another kiss, muffling the way you cried out when he pushed a third finger inside of you. You felt your body respond to him instinctively, your legs parting further, inviting, needing.

You pressed your palm to his chest, feeling the hard rhythm of his heartbeat. He caught your wrist and brought your fingers to his mouth, kissing them before lacing your hand with his and pinning it beside your head.

When he finally entered you, a low, guttural groan tore from deep in his throat. His movements were urgent, driven by a fierce hunger that sent your back arching and a sharp gasp spilling from your lips. The wet slide of skin against skin filled the room, joined by the creak of the bed and your stuttering moans that grew louder with each motion.

His name slipped from your lips like prayer. ��Sieun… Please.”

He didn’t pause. His rhythm stayed steady, almost desperate, as if stopping would break the spell between you. He pressed his forehead to yours, his breath coming hard and uneven against your lips. His eyes were half-lidded, heavy with need, but touched with something softer. He looked completely lost in the feeling, undone by the way you held him. His voice came low and unsteady, thick with emotion. “You feel like home.”

Your heart thudded at his words, something tender and aching swelling in your chest. Your hands rose to his face, thumbs brushing along his cheekbones.“I love you.” You repeated, eyes shimmering with tears.

Sieun’s breath hitched. His eyes darkened, glossy with feeling as if hearing those words again stirred something deep inside. He reached out slowly, his hand trembling just slightly as it traced down your side, grounding himself in the moment. You shivered at the intensity of his touch, at the way he moved within you with growing need. You lifted your hips to meet him, matching his rhythm, lost in the way it felt to be with him. Completely. Without hesitation.

The room pulsed with sound… The sharp breaths between your kisses, the occasional gasp when he found a deeper angle, the low grunts he let out when your nails dragged down his back. His name fell from your lips again, and again.

“I’m yours.” You whimpered. “I’m yours. All of me. I love you so much.”

The passion grew rougher, deeper and needier. Hips meeting hips, limbs tangled, sweat slicking between your bodies. You cried out, his name caught on your tongue like a sob, He followed soon after, groaning your name, burying himself deeper with a final thrust that left you both breathless.

He didn’t move right away.

You lay tangled together in the quiet, his weight pressed gently against you as you held him close. Your face nestled in the crook of his neck, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your skin. After a moment, you felt his body shake slightly beneath your hands. Warm tears began to fall, his silent, shaky breaths breaking the stillness.

You held him close, your arms wrapping around his trembling body with quiet care. arms tightening around his trembling form. Softly, you pressed a tender kiss to the curve of his neck, hoping to offer comfort without words.

After a long, trembling moment, he slowly eased himself off, his body reluctant to leave your warmth. Without breaking contact, he shifted to lie beside you, pulling you gently against his side. His eyes, still red and glossy, searched yours with a quiet vulnerability that made your heart tighten.

“I will protect you,” He whispered, his voice thick with feeling, almost breaking. “No matter what comes next.”

You lifted your face to his, eyes shining with quiet resolve. “I know.” You whispered, your voice soft but certain. “And I will protect you too no matter what happens.”

Your fingers brushed gently against his cheek as you leaned in closer, grounding yourself in the warmth of him. “We’ll face everything together.”

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The night air was cooler than usual, but Suho welcomed it. He leaned against the wooden pillar just outside Prince Sieun’s chambers, arms folded over his chest, his sword resting comfortably against his hip. His eyes scanned the darkened corridor with practiced ease, every shadow familiar. But still, he remained alert. Always alert.

He was on duty, but it wasn’t just duty that kept him posted here. He liked being close. Close enough to make sure nothing slipped past him. Not after everything they had fought through.

He chuckled to himself, the sound quiet in the night. He couldn’t help it.

He wasn’t supposed to be standing guard with a grin, but how could he not? His prince was fulfilling his marital duties with impressive dedication.

He could hear them.

The sounds were faint but unmistakable. He heard a woman’s soft sighs rising and falling with quiet urgency, the low, husky murmur of a man’s voice close by, then a sharp gasp abruptly swallowed. A sudden, muted thud came next, followed by a quick, ragged intake of breath.

If you both kept going at the pace you were…

Suho grinned again. “Little prince or princess, sooner than we think.” He muttered under his breath.

Sieun, ever the stoic, had surprised him more than once lately. The morning after the wedding was still one of Suho’s favorite memories. He had been in the small tea room just down the corridor, nursing a lukewarm cup and trying to guess how long it would take for the newlyweds to finally emerge.

And then Sieun had walked in.

His usually crisp appearance had been undone just enough to betray him. His collar had hung slightly loose. His hair, though still tied, hadn’t been quite smooth. His robe had sat askew at one shoulder, like he had thrown it on in a hurry or without thinking. He had looked tired, but not in a way that concerned Suho.

It was a different kind of exhaustion, quiet, almost content. There was something softer in his face, in the way he moved. A looseness in his posture, a calmness in his silence. For once, Sieun did not carry himself like he was preparing for another battle.

“Morning, Your Highness,” Suho had said, pretending to stretch. “You look well rested. Or not at all rested. Hard to tell.”

Sieun had barely looked at him. “I do not have time for this.”

“Did you even sleep ? Or were you too busy earning your wedding robe?”

“Suho.”

“You know, I worried you might have to ask your wife for instructions.”

Sieun had paused. His eyes narrowed. “One more word, and I will request your reassignment to a post so far north you will beg for death by snow.”

Suho had nearly doubled over laughing.

That was months ago, but the image still made him grin.

And now, as the sounds from within the room carried softly into the corridor, he could not stop the warmth rising behind his ribs. He was proud. Not just because Sieun was fulfilling his duties, but because it meant more than that. He had found something real. He had found someone who looked at him and saw not just a prince or a name, but a man worth loving.

They deserved happiness. Both of them.

He took another breath, this one slower. And in the quiet, his thoughts drifted further back.

He and Sieun had known each other since they were boys. Suho had grown up the son of a respected court warrior, a man who had earned the king’s favor through loyalty and blood. It was that favor that allowed Suho to join the other noble sons in their studies. But favor was not the same as acceptance.

His robes had been simpler. His speech rougher. At first, he had tried to behave the way his father instructed: polite, humble, quiet. But the noble boys had eaten him alive for it.

So he fought back.

He wasn’t the best with words, but his fists never needed polishing. After that, the taunting stopped. They didn’t have to like him. They only had to be careful not to push him.

Prince Sieun was different. Not loud or cruel. Just… distant. Detached. Like he had already seen enough of the world to be done with it.

Suho watched him for weeks. Saw how the others subtly pushed him aside. Saw how he never reacted. Until the day the Crown Prince knocked over an ink pot onto his notes.

It had been deliberate. Suho was sure of it. But the teacher said nothing.

Sieun’s eyes had gone so still that Suho thought he might strike. But before he could, Suho stepped in and made a bigger mess on the Crown Prince’s books. That had been enough to draw everyone’s attention away.

Sieun had never thanked him. Just stood, brushed the ink from his sleeve, and walked away.

Suho followed.

Every day after that, he was there. Like a shadow the prince never asked for. His father told him to be patient. That the boy had seen horrors too young, and silence was his armor. But Suho kept teasing him. Kept talking. And slowly, that armor began to shift.

Now, years later, he was more than a shadow. He was a sword, a shield, and a friend. The closest person Sieun had, maybe the only one he truly trusted.

Which is why Suho now cared for you as well.

He liked you. How could he not? You softened Sieun’s rough edges without asking him to change. You didn’t seem to care about his silence, only the man behind it. And Sieun… Suho had never seen him look at anyone the way he looked at you.

You belonged here. With him.

Suho adjusted his stance, just as a flicker of movement caught his eye near the end of the path.

Someone was moving quickly. Not in a panic, but with purpose. They were trying not to be seen.

His smile faded. His hand moved toward the sword at his hip.

Quiet steps, practiced from years of patrols, took him close enough to see the outline of the person. Slender. Small. Quick on their feet. He recognized the familiar shape of a court servant’s uniform. They headed toward the storage hall behind the estate. A building barely used, covered in dust and vines.

Suho crept closer, keeping to the shadows.

The figure knelt at the steps. Moonlight passed through the clouds, just enough for him to recognize the face.

Seorin.

His brow drew low. What was she doing out here at this hour? She was holding something in her hands, wrapped in cloth or paper. She glanced around, then reached beneath the steps and lifted a loose board.

He watched as she tucked the item into the space and pressed the wood back into place. Then she turned and walked away, without looking back.

Suho waited. Only when he was sure she was gone did he approach the spot.

He crouched by the step, hands carefully testing the floorboard she had touched. It gave slightly. When he lifted it, a folded parchment lay hidden beneath. But he didn’t open it. Not yet. Not when the hallway behind him was still exposed to the open grounds. He slipped the paper into his robe and covered the hiding spot once more.

His thoughts raced.

Seorin. Loyal. Kind. Protective of you. He had seen it himself. But what was she doing hiding notes at this hour?

He stood slowly, glancing back toward the soft glow from Sieun’s chamber.

Inside, the two people he swore to protect were safe.

For now.

But someone was weaving threads in the dark. Whether it was Seorin or someone using her, Suho would find out. He had to.

Because some shadows did not move on their own. And some monsters wore smiles.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was well into the afternoon, and you were bored.

The kind of boredom that made you restless. You had already endured another etiquette lesson that morning. Tedious corrections, reminders of posture, the difference between a bow and a curtsy, the correct angle of a fan when addressing someone above your rank. The Madame had been polite, but pointed. As always.

Now, with Sieun away attending court business, the estate felt too quiet. You had tried reading, but even that failed to hold your attention. The same sentence had blurred past your eyes more times than you could count.

Across the room, Seorin moved quietly, folding fresh robes and placing them into a lacquered chest. Normally, she would have filled the silence with gentle chatter. Complaints about the tutor’s shrill voice or gossip about the kitchen staff. But today, she barely said a word.

You glanced up from your book. “You’re awfully quiet, today.” You said. “Are you alright?”

Seorin offered a small smile but didn’t stop what she was doing. “Everything is fine, your Highness. I’m just a little bit tired.”

That should have been the end of it. But something about her expression didn’t sit right with you. It was too guarded, too practiced. You narrowed your eyes slightly.

“You’re not coming down with something, are you? Or is there a secret suitor you haven’t told me about?” You teased, putting your book down. “You’ve been disappearing during free hours lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Seorin’s hands froze.

You blinked, the joke on your lips faltering.

You were only teasing her… Why was she acting so strange?

Just then, something slipped from Seorin’s sleeve.

A thin, folded paper. It fluttered to the ground between you two.

“I’ll get it.” You said, reaching for it before you could think better of it.

But Seorin was faster. She bent, snatched up the note, and straightened with a forced smile. “Just a reminder for how much soap to use when washing the garments.” She said. “Nothing important.”

You studied her. There was something off in her voice, like she was trying too hard to sound casual.

“I see…” You said lightly, though your chest felt tight. “If you’re keeping secrets, at least make them romantic. I’m owed some vicarious thrills.”

Seorin gave a quiet laugh, but it didn’t carry the usual warmth. “I should go check on the bath water. It won’t be ready unless I ask the servants to heat it again.”

Without waiting, she turned and left.

You stayed still.

It was probably nothing. Seorin was always dependable. Always kind. You had shared secrets before, even laughed about them over tea.

But something didn’t sit right.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The council chamber smelled faintly of old scrolls, ink, and the polished lacquer of wood that had been scrubbed too many times to count. Prince Sieun sat quietly in his designated seat, his posture composed, his expression unreadable.

He listened, as he always did, without interruption.

The Crown Prince stood, one hand braced on the table, the other gesturing confidently to the inked markings.

“As you can see,” The Crown Prince said, voice steady, “This new proposal reorganizes our northern border defenses. By establishing a new garrison post here” He pointed near the ridge west of the Hwa River. “—We reinforce our presence near the disputed valley. It shows strength without direct confrontation. Additionally, if we relocate the second patrol unit to the southern bend of the pass, we can cover a wider area without expanding the budget.”

There were a few nods. Minister Kwon murmured something in agreement.

Sieun’s eyes lingered on the map for a moment longer before he spoke.

“That ridge is inaccessible six months of the year. There is no stable road leading to it, and the last attempt to station troops there ended with supply lines freezing mid-winter.”

The Crown Prince’s expression tightened. “This time, there will be adjustments. The post is not intended for long-term occupation.”

Sieun tilted his head slightly. “Then it is a performance. A costly one.”

There was a flicker of discomfort around the table. Several ministers exchanged looks.

The Crown Prince straightened. “Symbolic presence matters. The border villages need to see the flag, to feel protected.”

“Symbolism will not keep them fed.” Sieun replied. His voice was calm, but it carried. “They remember the winter of the sixth year. They will not thank the Crown for soldiers who arrive only to freeze beside them.”

The Crown Prince leaned forward. “And your alternative, brother? To do nothing? To appear weak in front of the envoys from the west?”

Sieun’s gaze moved slowly across the table before resting back on him. “Not appearing weak is not the same as making poor decisions loudly. I am suggesting we position patrols where they can be sustained and supply lines kept open. That is what strength looks like. Quiet preparation, not loud mistakes.”

A tense silence followed.

“Don’t act like the entire plan is flawed.” The Crown Prince said, voice sharper now. “The southern relocation will allow us to monitor movement through the valley.”

Sieun pointed to a second mark on the map.

“That region is already patrolled under General Han’s command. Your plan adds cost without increasing coverage. Two units watching the same pass does not double our strength. It only drains the treasury.”

The Crown Prince scoffed. “You speak like a scholar buried in scrolls. Numbers on paper do not win wars.”

“No, but they keep a kingdom from starving in winter.” Sieun replied. “The funds you want to waste on this could be redirected north. Winter is coming sooner than later. The cold provinces need reinforced grain storage. A new irrigation system would allow them to grow crops through the harsher months. And proper insulation for their homes would lessen sickness when the frost sets in.”

He let the words settle before turning his gaze toward Minister Han, Y/N’s father. “Minister, would you shift forces from key coastal watchposts just to cover ground that’s already protected?”

Minister Han answered without hesitation. “No. It would strain the southern coast, which is still recovering from last season’s raids. We cannot afford to weaken it.”

Sieun gave a slight nod. “Then I believe the answer is clear.”

The Crown Prince’s face flushed. “You are insufferably smug and arrogant.“

Sieun finally looked directly at him. His voice remained level.

“If I were speaking from arrogance, you would hear far less reason and far more noise. I am speaking from study. You may find the same clarity, if you return to reviewing the basics of deployment strategy and logistics.”

A few ministers coughed into their hands. Others said nothing but kept their eyes fixed on the table. One or two glanced toward the King who had stayed quiet the whole time, watching the interaction.

The Crown Prince opened his mouth to retaliate.

“Enough.” The King said, softly but firmly.

The room stilled at once.

Sieun bowed his head slightly.

The Crown Prince stood still, jaw tight, his breathing just a little too heavy. His pride was wounded, that much was clear. But it was not the Prince’s anger that caught Sieun’s attention.

It was the glance.

Quick. Subtle. Barely even there.

Minister Kwon looked toward the Crown Prince, and the Prince looked back. Their eyes met only for a heartbeat, but it was enough. A flicker of understanding passed between them, the kind shared by men with something to protect or something to gain.

Sieun made no sign that he had seen it, but the moment lodged itself in his mind.

He had his next name.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The room was dim, lit only by the flicker of candlelight from the writing table. Outside, the estate was quiet. Even the guards had settled into their routine rounds.

Sieun sat cross-legged near the window, several letters spread before him. His gaze moved carefully from one document to the next, candlelight catching on the ink as he read. Behind him, you slept undisturbed on his bed, half-curled beneath the quilt, your breathing steady and soft.

You hadn’t stirred when Suho slipped in. You never did.

He stood silently for a moment, then spoke low. “Your Highness.”

Sieun did not look up right away. “Come in. Keep your voice down.”

Suho stepped further in and lowered himself to the floor across from him. His eyes flicked toward the bed, then back to Sieun.

“What have you found?” The Prince asked.

“Many things.” Suho replied. “First, Minister Kwon. On the surface, he looks clean. No scandals, no complaints. But digging deeper, he’s tied to hidden funds, money not recorded in the court books. Large sums. He is running something illegal for certain. It would explain how he could support the Crown Prince’s proposal.”

Sieun’s eyes sharpened. “So Kwon’s trying to build influence at court using his money.”

“Exactly. He’s trying to form an alliance with the Crown Prince. It’s no coincidence.”

Sieun nodded, setting a letter aside. “Watch him closely. Follow where the money goes.”

He turned slightly more towards Suho. “What else have you found?”

Suho hesitated, then said quietly, “I’ve been watching Seorin, Y/N’s maid. She’s been acting off, lately. It’s nothing concrete yet, but something isn’t right.”

Sieun’s eyes narrowed. “Do you think she could be a threat?”

Suho shook his head slowly. “No. But I’m keeping a close watch.”

Sieun nodded slowly. “Good. But don’t mention this to Y/N. She doesn’t need more to worry about.”He glanced toward your sleeping form. “This would tear her apart.”

Suho inclined his head in understanding. After a beat, he continued. “The other matter is about the Queen.”

That made Sieun pause.

“She’s met with a man from the lower quarter. Twice. Not noble, not military. We don’t know who he is yet. He comes through the back gate dressed like a servant. Both times, she sent her attendants away early.”

Sieun’s eyes narrowed but he said nothing.

Suho reached into his sleeve. “There’s more.” He said. “We found this.” He reached into his robe and pulled out a folded square of paper. Sieun took it carefully and opened it.

At first glance, it was official. A royal order bearing Sieun’s name and his seal.

But his eyes narrowed. “This is a forgery.”

“The stamp is nearly perfect.” Suho said. “Only the color is off, and the border is slightly too clean. Someone went to great lengths to copy your official mark. If this was presented during a council session, in the heat of argument, no one would think to examine it closely.”

Sieun’s jaw tensed. He set the paper down. “What is the content?”

Suho hesitated, then answered in a low voice. “It claims that you issued instructions for a discreet group of men to intercept and remove a royal envoy. The phrasing makes it seem like an assassination order. Against the King.”

Sieun blinked, then let out a soft, incredulous breath. He leaned back and gave a dry chuckle. “They’re reaching now.”

“The Crown Prince is preparing something.” Suho said quietly. “He’s gathering pieces.”

Sieun’s eyes darkened with quiet calculation. “If he wants a show, I will give him one.” There was a hint of something unspoken in his voice, a plan already forming beneath the surface.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The white robes clung uncomfortably to your frame. Not from weight or weather, but from the meaning they carried. Every thread was woven with silence.

Before you, the memorial altar stood still and orderly. Pale lotus blossoms floated in shallow bowls of water. Offerings were arranged with care. A wooden tablet bearing Lady Yeon’s name stood at the center, upright and unshaking.

Sieun moved without a word, bowing low, his forehead pressed to the mat. When he rose, his gaze lingered on the incense smoke curling upward. He hadn’t spoken all morning.

You stood beside him, quiet and composed You mirrored his bow, offering your own silent respect to the woman you had never met, but whose presence had shaped the man beside you.

You could feel the weight in him. Not just grief, though it lingered in the quiet curve of his mouth and the tension in his shoulders. There was something else. A steady resolve. A fire carefully banked beneath layers of stillness.

Suho remained nearby, watching over the courtyard from a respectful distance. He hadn’t interrupted. None of the guards had.

Then, the sharp sound of boots against stone broke the stillness.

Suho turned.

A group of palace guards had entered the outer gate, their arrival swift but controlled. They didn’t shout, but their presence brought tension in like a drawn blade.

The lead guard stepped forward and bowed low. “Your Highness. You are summoned to the palace. Immediately.”

Sieun didn’t move at first. He stared at the altar one last time. Then slowly, he turned. His face was calm, as if he had been expecting this. “I understand.”

He turned to go but the guard lifted his head again.

“The Princess must come as well.”

Sieun stopped. His eyes narrowed slightly. “Why?”

The guard hesitated only a moment. “I was not given the reason. Only the order.”

Sieun did not speak right away. He glanced at you. Then to Suho, who was already watching the guard like a wolf waiting for a wrong move.

The incense still burned behind you, but the calm of the morning shattered. Something dark was stirring and you all felt the weight of what was coming.

tagg list: @niyzu @hemmosfear @stxr-lilac @sieunah @miraluvsyou @tokkitel @kaykay0315 @emswirls @kamiliora @poeticias @lili-of-the-dream @moodyhuesworld

[botanicalsword]

Astrological placement - Indicator for Entrepreneurs

In today’s landscape, personal branding, self-promotion, and networking have become significantly more accessible, thanks to the metaverse. 

We find ourselves interconnected in myriad ways; however, this connectivity often leads to a self-centered focus, where the aspiration to become influencers and promote our own products and services takes precedence.

Yet, we must not overlook the essence that establishing a successful business requires strong networks (11th House). This means delivering real value to those who engage with our services while simultaneously addressing their emotional, physical, and practical needs and desires.

Businesses are constantly seeking new ways to engage with their audience.

Some examples of digital business that related to the astrological placements:

Impressions (Venus, 1st House, Chart ruler)

Engagement (7th House, 11th House, Mercury)

Content creating (Mercury, 3rd House, 9th House)

Storytelling (Mercury, 3rd House, 4th House, 5th House, Neptune, Uranus)

Digital marketing strategy (Uranus, Jupiter, 9th House, 11th House)

Metrics eg. engagement, click-through rates, conversion (Saturn, 2nd House, 10th House)

Cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset is important for navigating this journey.  To thrive as an entrepreneur, one must be decisive and possess a holistic perspective. Without an open mind and a sharp, analytical approach, it becomes increasingly challenging to realize their vision and achieve lasting success.

✧

Indicator for Entrepreneurs

Certain astrological houses play a pivotal role:

1st house - the self and self-awareness - with prominent placement, they often resist being controlled by others, thriving instead on independence.

8th house  - resources and financing - the ability to leverage others' resources or collaborate in business endeavors.

10th house - career aspirations and the broader vision necessary for success. Entrepreneurs must possess a grand perspective to navigate their ventures effectively.

✧ Some key astrological indicators for aspiring entrepreneurs:

Strong10th House (Sun/ Moon in 10th House / 10th House Stellium) - strong drive for success and a deep desire to achieve - find entrepreneurship more appealing than traditional employment

10th House ruler in 1st House - a powerful ambition - Those with influential planets in their chart often strive for independence in their careers, leading to a respected and prestigious professional life - Leadership roles may also suit you well

1st House ruler in 10th House - highly ambitious, with dreams of fame and success. Your ideas or decision may frequently revolve around becoming a business owner and achieving personal recognition.

Saturn in the 1st House - face challenges in life but possess a strong sense of responsibility. Through relentless effort and determination, they strive to prove their worth to the world. With their unwavering willpower and diligent work ethic, achieving success is almost inevitable.

Strong 8th House (Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter / 8th House Stellium) - an ability to access resources easily - excel in securing funding and attracting investments, which can significantly enhance their chances of entrepreneurial success.

Strong 11th House / 11th House Stelium - strong social connections and a supportive network - with good relationships and abundant resources, you’ll find that others are eager to assist you in your endeavors.

>> Career • work a job or start a business? ✧ Natal Chart Observation >> Career • A Sudden Change - What Happens Next? ✧ Solar Return / Lunar Return >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 1) >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 2)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

[musings-of-a-rose]

Say You'll Remember Me

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This one came to me right after S2 Ep 2 so…beware of sad. Shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for beta reading and letting me crush her heart a little

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

I remember the first time I saw him. People in Jackson started whispering the moment he and his teenage daughter came through the gates. I caught a glimpse of him through Tommy's mussed up curls as he embraced him, fists pounding on the other's back. I couldn't make him out clearly. 

I remember asking Tommy later that day who he was. “My big brother,” he said with a small smile. “I thought he was dead and here he is!” 

I remember literally bumping into him later that night, his strong hands gripping my shoulders to keep me steady. His eyes find mine, and I remember momentarily forgetting to breathe. He was older than me, greys streaking through his hair. His eyes were big and brown and sad. 

I remember hearing his voice, gruff but soothing, a drawl like Tommy's spilling from his lips. “Are you alright?” I think I nodded. I know I smiled like a damn school girl. “All set.” Yeah. That's what I said. I remember being so embarrassed, but a tiny smirk ticked up the corner of his mouth. “Alright then.” 

I remember looking for him the next day but instead finding Tommy, who told me he and his daughter, Ellie, had left. Not his daughter but may as well be. Some sort of quest. He didn't give me details and I didn't ask. 

I remember thinking of him often. I never had a man have this effect on me before. I found myself wondering if he would come back. And if he did, would I have the courage to speak to him?

I remember the spring day when he returned, Ellie and him. Something was different. Changed. I didn't know what but I was so thrilled to see him again that I didn't pay it any mind at that moment. 

I remember talking to myself in the mirror, hyping myself up to bring him a cup of coffee. I don't drink it as often as others, so I had a bit of a stash left from our last run. 

I remember him opening the door when I knocked, his eyes still sad but focused fully on me, until he saw the coffee I held out. I remember the way his eyes lit up, the smile that crossed his face, and I remember thinking how beautiful he was. 

I remember bringing him coffee every day for 2 weeks before Maria pulled me aside, her belly big and round, and told me to “Stay away from Joel Miller. He's not a good man.” I remember I didn't give a fuck what she'd said. Lucky for me, she went into labor not too long after and was busy with a newborn. 

I remember our conversations on his front porch that eventually moved inside. He started making me breakfast. And when he learned that I was giving him my ration of sugar for his coffee, he added bacon to the mix. 

I remember the first time I heard him laugh, head thrown back, belly shaking, tears running down his face. I vowed to myself to try and make him laugh like that as often as I could. 

I remember the first town party we went to, the first dance we had. I remember that's when it shifted, from friends to…something more. He looked down at me, his eyes glancing down at my lips before he pulled away. 

I remember following him all the way to his house, standing on his porch as he told me he was too old for me. I remember telling him that I was 35 and didn't care. 

I remember the first moment his lips touched mine. Hesitant at first, then desperation. Slightly chapped but still so soft as he kissed a path down my neck. 

I remember the first time he laid between my thighs, making me feel things I'd never felt before. I remember laying with him after, my head on his chest listening to his heart and thinking that I never wanted to leave. 

I remember us officially making our couple debut in town, how Tommy clapped him on the back and winked at me. How Maria rolled her eyes but still always supported us. 

I remember we bickered sometimes, but we always made up. 

I remember the sadness creeping back in the further Ellie pushed away from him. “Give her time,” I'd said. After all, she's still a teenager. 

I remember watching as he helped fortify and expand Jackson. The way his muscles pulled under his shirt, the sweat dripping from his brow. I remember the massages I'd give him and the sounds he'd make, both from the massage and when he slid between my legs. 

I remember being happy. 

I remember that morning. It was cold. Likely a blizzard coming through later. I remember him pressing a kiss to my forehead as he left early for patrol with Dina. I remember grabbing his wrist and begging him to stay in bed with me. 

I remember him saying he loved me and that he'd see me later. 

I remember the day going by and going about my chores, preparing our home for the blizzard that had already crept over the horizon. I remember hoping he and Dina and the others on patrol would find a safe place to wait out the storm.

I remember waking. I must have fallen asleep. The day was late and he wasn't back. 

I remember the pit in my stomach that appeared out of nowhere. I remember thinking something isn't right. 

I remember the knock. The sound was small but it echoed in my head. I remember wanting to be sick. 

I remember the look on Tommy's face right before he told me and my world split apart. I remember crumbling to the floor, a wail I'd never made before clawing it's way out and down the street. I remember Tommy joining me, holding me while we both mourned. 

I remember seeing him laying on a table under a sheet. I remember seeing his knuckles, bruised, chapped, and bleeding. I remember grabbing his hand, hoping that he'd jump up and announce the world's worst joke ever. I remember nearly vomiting at the coldness of his hand. I remember Tommy telling me not to look under the sheet, begging me not to. 

I remember ignoring him. 

I remember pulling back the sheet and seeing his broken and battered face, his blown out kneecap, the broken bones. I remember screaming and crying, rage filling me and spilling over. I remember yelling as loud as I could for as long as I could. When I couldn't rage anymore, I planted a soft kiss on his forehead. 

I remember getting a bucket of water and a cloth, gently cleaning him of all the dried blood. I remember Tommy coming in while I was doing this. He said nothing but returned a short while later with one of Joel's favorite outfits that we put on him. 

I remember the funeral. I don't remember the words said but I remember watching them lower him into the ground, half of me going with him. I stayed there long after the sun went down, staring  at a tombstone that simply read JOEL MILLER. 

I remember how quiet the house got. And how loud that silence was. No puttering about in the kitchen, tinkering with random things. No making breakfast. No sound of boots on the floor. My bed was cold and empty. I remember sleeping in his shirts just to feel him with me. And then I would wake up and remember. 

I remember a couple months later when I realized I was pregnant. “How can I do this without him?” I cried in Tommy and Maria's arms. “He didn't even know! Maybe if he knew, he wouldn't have gone on patrol and then he'd….he'd..” Tommy told me to not think that. Those people had it out for him and they'd have come one way or another. 

I remember so many nights crying for him, the hole in my heart the same size as it was the moment Tommy knocked on my door. Ellie came back inside the house then, helping me when I needed it. 

I remember calling for him when I was giving birth. I yelled for him to be here and out she came, our daughter, Sarah. The moment she was laid on my chest, she turned and looked at me and I saw his eyes staring back out at me. And it was then I realized. 

It's my job to remember. 

Remember how she looked at birth. Her first steps. Her first food. Remember how she mispronounced words, what her favorite book was, how she fell out of the tree in the backyard and nearly broke her arm. How she was just as stubborn and headstrong as him. How she met a boy and fell in love. How they also had a child and we became grandparents. How those grandkids are and what joy they bring to my life. 

I remember sitting in my chair, looking out into our backyard at the tree he'd carved our initials in claiming the house as our own. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and look up into beautiful brown eyes that I'd seen every night in my dreams. 

“Hey sweetheart. All set?”

I can't wait to show him what I remember. 

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@mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry 

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk @speaktothehandpeasants

[batboyblog]

Things the Biden-Harris Administration Did This Week #35

Sep 20-27 2024

President Biden and Vice-President Harris announced new actions to curb gun violence at the one year anniversary of the White House Office of Gun Violence Prevention. The Office is the first ever White House office to deal with the issue of guns and has been overseen by the Vice-President. President Biden signed a new Executive Order aimed at combatting the emerging threat of machinegun conversion devices. These devices allow the conversion of semi-automatic firearms to a rate of fire that can match military machineguns, up to 20 bullets in one second. The EO also targets the threat of 3-D printed guns. The EO also addresses active schooler drills at schools. While almost every school conducts them there is little uniformity in how they are carried out, and no consensus on the most effective version of a drill. President Biden's EO directions the development of a research based active shooter drills, which maximize both student physical and mental safety.

President Biden celebrated the one year anniversary of the American Climate Corps and announced new Climate Corp programs. The Climate Corps has seen 15,000 young people connected to well paid jobs in clean energy and climate resilience jobs across America. The EPA and AmeriCorps announced a new Environmental Justice Climate Corps program which will connect 250 American Climate Corps members with local communities and over the next 3 help them achieve environmental justice projects. In addition HUD announced it will be the 8th federal agency to partner with the Climate Corp, opening the door to its involvement in Housing. Since its launch the American Climate Corp has inspired 14 states to launch their own state level version of the program, most recently just this week the New Jersey Climate Corps.

The Biden-Harris Administration announced that 4.2 million small business owners and self-employed people get their health insurance through the ACA marketplace. Up from 1.4 million ten years ago when President Obama and then Vice-President Biden rolled out the marketplaces. The self-employed are 3 times as likely as other Americans to use the marketplaces for their insurance, one out of every 5 getting coverage there. The ACA passed by President Obama, defended and expanded by President Biden, has freed millions of Americans to start their own businesses without fear of losing health coverage for them and their families.

The Departments of Transportation and Labor pressed freight railroad companies to close the gap and offer paid sick time to all their employees. Since 2022 under President Biden's leadership the number of Class I freight railroad employees who have access to paid sick days increased from 5% to 90%. Now the Biden-Harris Administration is pushing to finish the job and get coverage to the last 10%.

The EPA announced $965 million to help school districts buy clean energy buses. This comes on top of the 3 billion the EPA has already spent to bring clean energy buses to America's schools. So far the EPA has helped replace 8,700 school buses, across 1,300 school districts in all 50 states, DC, tribal nations, and US Territories. 95% of these buses are zero-emission, battery-electric. The clean bus program is responsible for over 2/3rds of the electric school buses on the road today.

The Biden-Harris Administration took another step forward in its historic efforts to protect the Colorado River System by signing 5 water conservation agreements with local water authorities in California and Arizona. The two short term agreements will conserve over 717,000 acre-feet of water by 2026. Collectively adding 10 feet to Lake Mead’s elevation by 2026. The Colorado River Basin provides water for more than 40 million people and fuels hydropower resources in seven U.S. states.

The Department of The Interior announced $254 million to help support local parks, the largest such investment in history. The money will go to 54 projects across 24 states hoping to redevelopment or create new parks.

HHS announced $1.5 billion to help combat opioid addiction and prevent opioid overdose deaths. The money will support state and tribal governments and help pay for mobile clinics, naloxone kits, and treatment centers. This comes as nationwide overdose rates drop for the first time since 2020, thanks to strong investment in harm reduction efforts by the Biden-Harris team.

The Department of Agriculture announced it'll spend $466.5 million in food assistance and development worldwide this year. Through its McGovern-Dole Program, the United States is the largest donor to global school feeding programs. The USDA will help feed 1.2 million children in Angola, Bangladesh, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Guinea-Bissau, Laos, Malawi and Rwanda. Through its Food for Progress the USDA will help support 200,000 farmers in Benin, Cambodia, Madagascar, Rwanda, Sri Lanka, Tanzania and Tunisia shift to climate-smart agriculture boosting food security in those nations and the wider region.

At a meeting at the UN First Lady Jill Biden announced a partnership between USAID and UNICEF to end childhood exposer to lead worldwide. Lead exposure kills 1.5 million people each year, mostly in the developing world.

The Senate approved the appointment of Byron Conway to a federal judgeship in Wisconsin. This makes the 213th federal judge that President Biden has appointed.

[lilmissnatcat24]

Electric Sheep Chapter Nineteen- Scientific Pursuits

64.media.tumblr.com

Garrus is forced into an unsavory mission by Elx. Shepard and Liara concoct a plan.

pairing: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

rating: Explicit

tags: Lovers to enemies to lovers, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Enemies to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Minor Character Death, ,Violence, Blood and Gore, Torture, Disturbing Themes, Dual POV, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Ruthless (Mass Effect), Mass Effect 2, Whump, Eventual Smut, Requited Unrequited Love, Mind Control, Pining, so much fucking pining that even i'm a little disturbed, Hurt/Comfort, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, OC Central, a kid show called the electromenom that teaches shepard about basic physics, yet another cliffhanger ending (sorry), second in series

cover: done by the stunning @/milkywayes!!!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58936480/chapters/168459247

lil text blurb

The headaches weren’t the worst part. It was the damn sensitivity. The second Garrus would open his eyes, it was as if one thousand LED lights were burning straight into his retinas. Footsteps were amplified so loudly that each clank against the tile floor caused his bones to vibrate. Nausea lived just underneath his tongue, ready to activate by any sudden movement. And to Garrus, sudden movement constituted blinking, or breathing, or being alive. 

It was the seventh time Saleon tried to wake him up. Garrus didn’t realize that was what was happening until the fourth, when through the pain and the confusion he heard the words doctor and coma and greatest project to date . The other three times, he was certain he was in hell. Pain so agonizing that he didn’t even know where to focus. The breathing tube shoved down his throat, scratching at his esophagus. The tubes pumping blood and nutrients and sludge into his veins. The cold, clammy skin that seemed to flinch at the slightest breeze or temperature fluctuation or barometric pressure. 

But then he could stay awake for more than five seconds at a time without agony following close behind. And he could foster what could be considered conversation, if conversation were really just one person whispering in his ears that he was stuck in this limbo where he was sort’ve dead and sort’ve alive. He figured out if he grunted in response every few seconds, he would get more information from Saleon.

At least, that’s what he said his name was. Accessing Garrus’s memories was somehow more painful than being awake and aware. Never once had he heard the name before. He didn’t even think it was a real name. It sounded ridiculous for a turian, the voice was too deep for an asari, fingers too clammy for a human, too emotional for a salarian. Except, maybe emotional wasn’t the right word. Saleon treated Garrus as if he were some resurrected king, someone who should be promoted to sainthood or lyctorhood or some other sort of - hood that ascended him beyond his body. He prayed over his body-- or, what he thought was praying. The way Saleon’s fingers traveled over his bare flesh, a whisper of a touch, the breeze tickling his ears of his words so close that he half expected a tongue to travel down his ear canal to his brain. He had half a mind to be disgusted, if he even possessed half a mind anymore. 

[anabdaniels]

Cowboytober Day 2: Somnophilia

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female reader

Word counting: 1.2k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Consensual somnophilia, unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming.

Main Masterlist | Cowboytober Masterlist

Jack hated the remaining effects of his years on Statesman.

All those times he woke up on a jump with the feeling of falling asleep in the middle of a mission or when he started to dream about all those insane fights. That was one of those nights he knew his sleep was ruined. Jack had already walked downstairs to get a shot of whiskey, sat on the balcony for a while, tried to close his eyes and hoped to fall asleep, he had even given a try to those videos of people packaging stuff that you used to say that helped you fall asleep.

When the clock marked 2 am, Jack was conformed about being awake for the rest of the night, so he just nestled himself next to you on the bed, playing with a lock of your hair. Feeling his presence even in your sleep, you tucked your head against Jack’s chest, grumbling some noises during the process. He smiled at how adorable you looked and how even sleeping you could make him happier since just your little asleep noises were enough to make him move on from the irritation of being unable to sleep.

Jack nuzzled his face into your neck, inhaling the sweet scent of your body lotion as one of his hands brushed your arm. He did his best to try to shut his thoughts up, but apparently what you told him you learned in therapy about thoughts not being controllable was true, because his little male brain could only rewind that conversation you had with him. It started with you affirming that it was fine if he woke you up every here and there for a convenient hook-up in the middle of the night, then on one of those occasions, you admitted that you would enjoy it if he started the whole thing without waking you.

Carefully, Jack pushed the comforter away from your torso, taking a good look at your breasts almost escaping your nightgown cleavage before moving the shoulder strap down your arm and cupping your breast, softly rubbing his rough palm against your nipple, taking a quiet noise out of you. Curious about how that would evolve, he tucked himself better next to you, kissing your chest and softly sucking on your nipple while his hands kept moving all over your body, groping and massaging you. Being a heavy sleeper, in the back of your mind you were partially aware of a soft tickle on your skin, but wasn’t enough to disturb your sleep.

Jack was tempted to wake you, missing your responsiveness, but he was either adoring the perspective of you having no clue about what was going on and how you’d love the realization that he has attended your desire as soon as you woke up, so he kept going on, caressing your lower stomach then moving down, rubbing your warm folds with his fingertips, keeping his lips glued on your nipples, taking a few more muffled noises from you while slowly stretching you with two fingers.

As he felt your body relaxing under his touch, Jack finally felt like taking another step, gently tuning you to lay on your stomach and pushing the comforter aside while taking a good look at your body being illuminated only by the moonlight that entered through the windows. Carefully, Jack pushed your legs apart and settled between them, letting his hands squeeze and massage your butt as he took a long full look at your dripping core, a view he was completely down for, but used to not take as long as he’d like since you tented to start to feel self-conscious about it.

With no rush, Jack slid inside you, groaning quietly with the welcoming warm feeling and smirking as a quiet noise escaped from you either. He proceeded slowly, not wanting to wake you up quickly or abruptly, so he took his time, one hand tangled in your hair, brushing your scalp as the other held one of your buttcheeks, keeping you spread open so he could appreciate the scene of every inch of him sinking on you.

At a very slow pace, your mind was starting to be awake, making you aware that something was happening, yet too unbothered to wake up. As your asleep body moved to turn on the bed and didn’t succeed, you started to get more aware of the surroundings, feeling something that you couldn’t promptly identify. You rub your face and blink a couple of times, starting to realize what was the matter, for a moment wondering if you were dreaming or not.

“Jack?” you called quietly in a husky tone, sighing as you felt Jack’s warm torso resting on top of your back.

“Hi there, honey.” He kissed your shoulder still caressing your scalp “You’re okay, darlin’?”

“Mhmm” you mumbled and nodded, resting better on the bed and turning your head to look better at him “Thought you’d never take me serious ‘bout this.” You kept speaking with a slurred voice, smiling softly.

“Told ya I just needed a lil’ time to process the concept.” He answered with a smirk, leaning to kiss your temple, causing you to melt a bit more, enjoying all that a lot.

Feeling himself also very carried away with that cozy atmosphere, Jack twisted your hips softly and laid down, spooning you while keeping his calm pace, kissing from your earlobe to your shoulder, groping every corner of your body he could reach while still rubbing your scalp. You didn’t bother about anything else, making yourself at ease in his arms without trying to fight your laziness, loving how comfortable that felt, and focusing on the growing good feeling in your womb that only got stronger when Jack’s hand landed between your legs. You didn’t fight for it to last longer, that wasn’t one of those occasions, so you just let it go, contorting and whimpering, your body not knowing if it would get tense or relax even more.

Finally having you actively responding provided the last trigger Jack’s brain needed to get rid of all and any annoying thoughts, letting him finally relax as he enjoyed the soft spasms of your body around him as you reached your relief, that being all Jack needed to let himself go, emptying every drop of his orgasm straight on your cervix, hiding his face against your nape and planting a soft kiss on your skin.

You were just about to fall asleep again when you felt Jack about to move, despite being almost knocked out, you moved one of your arms quickly to grab Jack’s arm.

“Where you think you’re going?” you questioned with your eyes closed and a lazy voice, frowning when he laughed quietly.

“Considering your sympathetic approach, nowhere.” Jack kissed your cheek and snuggled himself with you, pulling the comforter over the two of you and wrapping his arms around your body. You sighed happily and relaxed, already starting to drift to sleep and ending up snoring in no time. Jack also was about to sleep, not even remembering his annoying insomnia from earlier, only thinking about how comfy it felt to fall asleep still being buried inside you and in what interesting way he could wake you up by the morning.

Tagging: @missladym1981 @alex-does-art-things @beefrobeefcal

[partially-controlled-chaos]

New Life Shall Prosper, ch. 2

Pairing: Halsin x Reader (as gender neutral as possible, given the context)

Rating: T? (not really smut but there's some heavily implied in previous chapters. pregnancy related bits, tad bit of gore)

Warnings: There's not full blown smut but it borders on the edge, mentions of illness and pregnancy, mostly just fluff

Summary: Months after the fall of the Absolute, you and Halsin have carved a happy life for yourselves within Thaniel's Realm, making a safe haven for all. A life full of hope and prosperity, only enhanced once you discover the very real possibility that you are with child.

Word Count: 11.5K

an: This ended up taking so long because it went through three rewrites and it's still massive. BUT I did finally get it posted. There will be one more chapter, possibly two with how I shifted some things, but there's at least one more coming! Thankfully, because I did rewrite and move some things around, about half of the next chapter is already written. Mostly proofread, but I was tired when I posted this so I'll update it later for any mistakes. Thank you to everyone that has enjoyed this so far!!

Follow up to this post.

Read on AO3 here if you prefer!

Find chapter 1 here! Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Masterlist

Loving, tender kisses peppering your exposed shoulder and a heavy dip in the bed roused you from your slumber. Slowly, your eyes blinked open as they adjusted to the light, your vision blurry until you could make sense of your surroundings. You recognized the lumbering shape of your beloved druid. With a content smile on his lips, Halsin loomed over you; his arms supporting his weight above your head as his knees dug into the bed by your hip, causing your body to slightly slope downward.

“Good morning, my heart,” he said softly, “how did you sleep?” 

“Fine, but I would do better if you would let me sleep a bit longer, love.” You said groggily as you turned your face from the beaming sun. You heard Halsin chuckle as he littered more slow kisses to your cheek.

“As much as I would love to, dear heart, I’m only doing what you asked of me.” You groaned as you buried your face to your pillow, his comment jogging your memory from the night before as he slid from atop you. Since your discovery that you were with child, you’d noticed significant changes to your energy levels. Being one to typically rise early, you’d found yourself sleeping in later each morning and desiring a nap around mid afternoon. Not that you wouldn’t mind to sleep in every once in a while, it just wasn’t suitable to your current lifestyle. You and Halsin were both early to rise and late to bed, filling your day with growing and expanding the area you now called home. Plants needed harvesting, home needed building, children needed enrichment and growth, and all of it simply couldn’t be done if you slept half the day away.

So, to counteract your sudden inability to wake up at a decent hour, you had practically begged Halsin to wake you in the mornings if you were still asleep when he returned from his daily patrols. He reluctantly agreed, wanting you to rest in accordance to what your body wanted, citing that you should be listening to the call of nature and not the call of a city. When you had finally convinced him, you made him promise that he would make sure you would rise and not go back to sleep, something you could kick yourself for now that the moment had come.

“Come on, my love,” he said as he pulled the blankets from your body and exposed you to the cool air of the room, “there’s much to do today and I made a promise.” With a groan of false annoyance, you rubbed your eyes and finally sat up. Halsin stretched out along side you, effectively taking up as much of the bed as he could to dissuade you from crawling back in. His head rested on a closed fist, sitting up partially to still make conversation. 

“And what business do we have planned for today that requires such an early start?” You asked as you draped your legs over the edge of the bed, your arms stretching high above your head with interlocked fingers as your back arched forward. When you were done, you glanced over to Halsin after not hearing a response and you found him gazing at you. His eyes slowly traced along your body, a tender smile across his face the lower his eyes traveled. 

“Or did you have something else in mind?” You asked in a low voice as you reclined back as best you could, given that the bulk of his frame was in the way. 

“With you? Always,” Halsin said with a smirk before offering you an affectionate kiss to the lips, “but there are some matters that require our attention.” His smile had faded by the time the final words left his mouth and his face had lost its softness. It seemed that his need to wake you stretched beyond your request for a wake up call.

“Is something wrong?” You asked as you straightened again. The change in his demeanor was enough cause for concern for your to snap out of your groggy state of mind. Since the fall of the Absolute, there had been very few times that you’d seen Halsin return to his duty driven mindset and he was teetering dangerously close to that precipice. Something was gnawing at his mind, although you weren’t sure what.

“Not quite, but there’s potential. It’s… it’s better if I just show you. Let’s take a walk when you’re dressed.” With a slight degree of hesitation, you made your way to your feet and began to dress. With a lingering yawn you tugged on your small clothes to cover yourself a bit more as you toyed with your hair, trying to your best to brush away the evidence of sleep. You smiled to yourself as you noticed Halsin watching your every step, his admiration for you never faltering even if you did the most mundane of tasks. He looked as if he was lost in a daze; his expression was no more than a lazy smile and half-lidded eyes. 

“If you keep looking at me like that,” you said as you caught his gaze, “you’re going to have to do something about it.” With a hearty laugh and a quick shake of his head, the druid sat up from the bed, his eyes still glued to your body.

“Although you are the epitome of nature perfected, my heart, you’re not picking up on what I am.” You raised an eyebrow, your head cocking at the comment.

“And what would that be?” You asked softly. Without another word, he made his way to his feet, offering his hand for you to take with a knowing smile. 

He guided you to the standing mirror by the water basin, turning you until your back was pressed to his chest and you both were reflected in the glass. You watched the reflection as his head leaned forward, pressing the softest of kisses to your still bare shoulder as his hands traveled the length of your body, stopping along your waist. You felt his hands lightly grip your hips, angling them forward until he had you in the perfect position. When his hand left your hip and slowly caressed the skin under your navel, you finally realized what Halsin was so transfixed on observing. There, in the reflection of your mirror, you noticed the slightest of swells to your lower belly. It wasn’t a large bump, but nevertheless it was the smallest of bumps beginning to form. After weeks of seeing no progress, you were now staring at the reflection of a pregnant belly.

“Hells, I hadn’t even noticed,” you said softly as you turned your reflection in the mirror to make sure you saw what you thought you did, “and when did you make this discovery, dear bear?” Your eyes were stuck to your reflection, wholeheartedly admiring the tiny bulge of your lower belly. Although you were still early on in your pregnancy, just seeing the evidence of your growing child filled you with an immense sense of joy and almost disbelief. Until now, the idea of being with child didn’t seem real. Other than a bit of morning sickness and being a bit more tired than normal, at times you forgot you were carrying a child. But now, with the proof of one in front of your eyes, it felt more than real.

“Last night,” he whispered in your ear, “after your bath.” You hummed softly as the memory of the previous night flickered in your mind. You had just barely stepped from your bath before you had felt Halsin’s lips and hands caressing your skin and curves, ravishing you until you both needed another washing.

“Well, then,” you said playfully, “that explains your sudden urge last night.” Halsin said nothing, but the low growl and gentle bite to your earlobe confirmed your statement. 

After lingering a few moments more to admire the growing bump to your frame, Halsin’s hands left your hips and left you to finish dressing for the day. You said nothing to each other as you hoisted up a pair of trousers and clean shirt, however the silence between you was not strained. Something was on Halsin’s mind, but whatever it was, was not directed towards you. When you had finished dressing and signaled you were ready to go, you were met with the same loving gaze and tender touches. This set your mind a little more at ease even though you were still curious as to what had gotten the druid so tense. It must be something in the community, perhaps the sense of duty, or maybe an issue with one of the refugees. Either way, you were determined to help him through it and set him at east once again.

You walked through your home together, hand in hand, and walked at a pace that wasn’t quite a stroll, but also wasn’t hurried. It had been a while since you had walked the city together, usually preferring to go your own ways and meeting again at the end of the day, so you quite enjoyed the change of schedule. Halsin’s large hand engulfed your own, holding it securely and offering a sense of peace and protection. You eventually made your way to the opposite side of the town, stepping from the cobblestone streets and into the beginning of the wood line.

“Where are we going? I thought we had business in town?” You asked as you continued your stroll, making note of the slightly firmer grasp that he now had on your hand.

“Business, yes, but it’s out in the forest on the outskirts of the town.” Halsin’s vague answers made your shoulders tense. You were not opposed to surprised, but you felt that this one would most certainly be unwelcome.

“Care to enlighten me? You’re not one to keep secrets, my dear.” You nudged Halsin with your shoulder as you walked, hoping it would make him open up and no longer keep you in the dark. You were impatient, wanting only to see what he was leading you to. 

“I promise, it’ll be easier if I just show you, just be patient. We’re close now though, as much as it pains me to say it.” You picked up on the slightest hint of dread in his voice, the droop on his face only confirming your observation. 

Admittedly, you had been utterly confused by Halsin, not understanding his sudden hesitancy to explain anything. He was always open with you, even with the most grueling of topics, and you were thankful for that. Both because you appreciated being in the loop of knowledge, but also because you didn’t want him to share the brunt of responsibility alone. He had done that enough in the past and it was high time he was able to share his burdens. Before the fall of Ketheric Thorm, you had made a promise to Halsin to help him through any hardships and even though it had been some time since you’d defeated Ketheric, your promise still stood. It always would. It was your vow to him and you were determined to uphold it.

After some time, you both had made your way to a small clearing on the outskirts of your established community on the line where your home met untamed wilderness. With your hand still firmly in his grasp, Halsin took you to one of the first trees along the tree line, walking you to the backside. There, just above your line of sight, was a symbol meticulously carved into the bark. A skull seated partially in a triangle, the outstretched fingers of a hand adorning it like a crown. You recognized the symbol immediately and a familiar twinge of unease settled in your stomach and your breath caught in your throat. Months after the battle, you were staring at the freshly carved symbol of the Absolute.

“I noticed it yesterday when I was roaming,” Halsin’s voice broke the silence and the tension of the moment, “a defilement of nature and a perfectly good scratching post.”

“By the gods.” You whispered softly as your eyes spotted the marking on the tree. You reached out slowly, your fingertips barely grazing the carved symbol in the tree, almost afraid that it would hurt you in some way. 

“You’re certain this is new? This isn’t a remnant of a few months ago?” You knew the answer, but still felt the need to ask. It was a fresh, clean mark; something that had only happened in the past day or so. But, there was one small part of you that hoped and prayed it was a relic from all those months ago.

“Oh, very.” He said as he traced his finger along the carving, “Look at the flesh of the tree. It’s still weeping sap and the cut hasn’t yet browned. It’s recent, my heart.”

Your breathing was slow and methodical, an attempt to keep your rising fears at arms length. For a brief moment the idea crossed your mind that somehow the Netherbrain had survived the final battle and was once again enchanting mind flayer tadpoles, but you were certain this wasn’t true. The Netherstones had done their job of convincing the brain to destroy itself and there was no denying that the same brain that had sunk into waters surrounding the city was anything other than dead. 

You then remembered the dying man and his siblings you had met on the road very early on in your journey. The man had been infected with the parasite, but his siblings remained free from a worm of their own crawling in their brains. However, they still followed the teachings and the call of the Absolute, despite not being True Souls themselves. You quickly realized that this mark wasn’t left by someone infected with the tadpole, but by someone who still believed in the Absolute. Someone who believed in the teachings and the power it offered enough to begin a resurgence of the cult, even if there were no tadpoles. The idea wasn’t that far fetched. You knew of plenty of instances where cults or even important figures that had fanatics that carried on the legacy of the entity. The most notable one that could come to mind were the handful of people that served the Szarr palace in the hopes of serving a vampiric lord simply because they were enthralled by him.

“I don’t think it’s cause for concern just yet, although we must be vigilant.” He said as he pulled is hand from the bark, “I roamed the woods the entirety of yesterday as well as this morning. This is the only symbol I can find and I haven’t found anyone lingering. Whoever left it, left it as a warning, but is gone from the area.”

“You don’t think it could be someone in town, do you?” You asked after you’d worked your way through your thoughts. 

“It’s possible, but highly unlikely. You know them better than I do, so you must know how everyone feels about the Absolute. These are children and adults who lost their homes and had their lives uprooted because of this cult, I don’t believe anyone would be a follower. Unless you think otherwise?”

“No, not at all,” you said as you continued to observe the marking, “but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. As you said, remain vigilant. Let’s see what comes of this.”

“I sent out a scouting party late in the afternoon. They plan on looking further into the forest and beyond to see if they can pick up on any trail. I would go myself, but if there is no pressing need for me to go out then I would prefer to stay here. I have many people I want to protect.” He lightly pressed his hand to your newly discovered bump, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

With another brief look to the symbol, you were ready to leave and return to the safety of your home. You understood why Halsin would always patrol the community and the surrounding area each morning, but you never thought anything would ever come of it. Maybe it was the lull of a peaceful home or perhaps you had just gone soft after the final battle, but this new discovery had caught you off guard. Any sort of resurgence of the cult could lead to disastrous consequences and it threatened the safety of your very home. There were already so many men and women that had been lost and displaced, not to mention the dozen upon dozens of orphaned children you were now in charge of, and the thought that they could face it all again made a shiver run down your spine. To top it off, you were now welcoming your own little one into the world; a world you assumed was safe. 

“Thank you for telling me,” you said as you began the long walk home, “I’m not sure what to make of it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

“Don’t let it burden your mind and unsettle your nerves, my heart,” Halsin said as he reclaimed your hand with his, “our home is safe.” You pulled Halsin’s arm around you as you walked, allowing his hand to rest on your lower back as you leaned into his frame. He was right, for the time being your home and community were safe, and you felt even safer being wrapped in his embrace.

**********************************************************************************************************

It had been many weeks since your discovering of the carving in the woods and thankfully everything remained quiet. Life carried on as it had been and you frequently tucked the memory into the far recesses of your mind. You sat cross-legged on your bed, the back of Halsin’s hand rested on your rounded belly as you carefully plucked splinter after splinter from his fingertips. You gently traced your fingers over his, feeling for any more pieces of wood stuck under his skin. Although he was already a skilled whittler, Halsin had recently taken up woodworking. It was a hobby you found to be surprising, but when you learned he desired to master the craft simply because he wanted to hand carve a crib for your little one, you couldn’t be happier. Since then, you always made it a point to pluck any pieces of wood from his fingers. 

The partially completed crib sat against the wall of your bedroom, still needing a few finishing touches before it ready for a sleeping baby, but there was still time before it would be needed. Despite needing a bit of sanding and polishing, the crib was absolutely beautiful and incredibly detailed. It taken him a few weeks, but in that short time he had crafted the piece completely by hand and with copious amounts of love. He had even gone so far as to carve the smallest of details along the head of the crib; a parade of carved bear cubs wandering through the beauty of nature and swirls that mimicked the patterns of his tattoos adorned the wood panelling. 

With a final look over his hands, you had decided that you’d pulled out any remaining fragments of wood, lifting his large hand from your belly. You held your palm against Halsin’s, taking note in the difference in size. His hands engulfed yours, two of his knuckles easily able to overshadow your fingertips if he were to bend them. Your eyes traveled from his hands and along his arms, observing just how large they actually were and how they seemingly continued to grow at they reached his broad shoulders. You laced your fingers with his as you continued to look him over, not noticing the adoring look on Halsin’s face in the process.

“Is something troubling you, my heart?” He asked as he brought your hand to his lips, softly kissing your fingers.

“Not at all,” you said as his voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you shifted to your regular spot on the bed, “just doing a bit of thinking.” You adjusted the pillows under your head until you were comfortable on your side. With a gentle pat, you motioned for Halsin to join you.

“Do tell, my heart.” He followed your invitation, reclining on his side as well, positioning his head against his hand as he gazed down at you. Gods, you would never tire of the way he looked at you. His gaze was always filled with the utmost admiration and infatuation, which had only increased in the recent months. 

“You are rather large for an elf, you know.” You brought your hand to your head, mirroring Halsin’s pose as you spoke.

“Is that so?” Halsin cocked an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his lips at your comment. 

“Oh hush, love,” you said with a chuckle, “you know I mean no harm. It just has me wondering about this dear little one of ours.” You ran your hand along the side of your belly with the thought, still in disbelief that you would be having a child in a few months.

“Are you afraid our child might be taller than you one day?” He teased, placing his hand atop yours, seemingly sensing the worry gnawing at your mind.

“Not at all, but I am worried about having to somehow birth a baby the size of quasit if they end up taking after your size.” You chuckled softly, although the thought was seriously lingering in your mind. Elves and half-elves were typically small in build, but Halsin was of course no normal elf. Simply comparing the size of his hands to yours indicated just how big he truly was. So it was very well in the realm of possibility that your newborn would be well above average in size. 

“I don’t think they’ll be quite that large my heart,” Halsin said as he ran his thumb along your cheekbone, “but even if they are, I’ll be there for you. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.” You whispered. Despite facing the end of the world, the idea of childbirth terrified you. You knew the risks associated with the birthing process and it was a daunting prospect. Healing couldn’t be offered until after the actual birth, so knowing you’d have to endure the hours long process without aid unsettled you.

“Will you be there?” You asked after a moment. You knew it was a dumb question; Halsin wouldn’t dare the miss the birth of his first child or leave you to deal with the trauma of birth alone, but with your hormones fluctuating the way they did, it was nice to have the confirmation. 

“Of course, my heart. It’s not even a question.” He quickly kissed your lips in reassurance, “Put your mind at ease. I will be there for the entirety and afterwards.” 

Halsin pulled you towards him, nuzzling his nose against the crown of your head, kissing it softly. In turn, you rested your face across the expanse of his chest, taking in his natural warmth and scent as you felt his hand slowly run along your back, soothing your worry. You hummed as you melted against his touch, your muscles finally relaxing after a long day. 

“Have you heard anything about the symbols you found?” You asked after a long yawn, the desire for sleep finally catching up to you.

“Last I heard,” Halsin said after a long period of silence, as if he was hesitant to say anything, “there was a small group of followers to the north. Goblins, mostly. And a few orcs if what the scouts have said can be relied upon. Don’t let it bother you tonight, my heart. It can be discussed in the morning.” With your eyes suddenly heavy, you didn’t argue his plea. 

Given that it had been many moons since you first discovered the markings on the tree, you weren’t too concerned with the lingering cultists being an immediate threat, but it still crossed your mind frequently. Between the ministrations along your back and sound of Halsin’s steady heartbeat against your ear, you found yourself drifting off to sleep, securely nestled in the embrace of Halsin’s strong arms.

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“It’s a good thing I’m better a wielding a sword than I am a knitting needle,” you said as you observed your work, “otherwise we’d all be mind flayers by now.” You held up the infant sized sweater you’d spent an hour knitting, your nose scrunching in distain when you realized not only was it far too big for a newborn, but lopsided with different lengths on the sleeves and a warbled neckline. 

“Well,” Halsin said with a chuckle as he looked up from his whittling, “let us give thanks that nature has blessed you with other talents.” Although he had already finished the beautifully crafted crib, his whittling hobby had picked up even more now that you were close to your due date. Small ducklings, bear cubs, tiny bunnies, and even squirrel kits were all figures he had started carving, the idea of having a child of his own clearly influencing his design choices. Lately, many quiet afternoons were spent like this, with you and your beloved elf taking much needed downtime together, happily preparing for the arrival of your little one. 

“I’m sorry,” you said with feigned hurt, “but are you telling me that this isn’t the beauty of natures creation?” You saw his attempt to hide the smirk threatening to come across his face as he eyed your knitting once more, chewing on the side of his lip to keep it from rising.

“I would, but you made it, my heart, not nature.” You snorted and playfully knocked Halsin’s arm with yours before unraveling your hard work in an attempt to remake it.

The two of you were lounging in the center of town, reclined against the large oak that had miraculously been renewed with life when the shadow curse had been lifted. You leaned against one of Halsin’s large arms more than the tree, trying to find some relief for your aching back. If your calculations were correct, you still had roughly two months left before you were set to give birth, but you were heavily struggling with the physical toll it took on your body. Your back frequently ached and pain would settle in your hips, making sitting anywhere absolutely abysmal, not to mention trying to get up by yourself. 

Despite this, you could never say you were too burdened with your condition. Halsin always went out of his way to make sure you were as comfortable as possible, which always filled you with a sense of adoration and love. He was always quick to offer a soothing back rub if your muscles were tense from a long day or if the pressure from your growing little one made your bones ache, making sure to massage deeply and slowly until you melted under his touch. Or if you were overtaken by a sudden craving for a particular food, he would be sure to bring you whatever you desired to your hearts content. He would frequently soothe your emotions if you were overcome with confusing hormones, being by your side until you worked through whatever was plaguing you and would stay until he could see you smile again. 

In all of this, his desire for you never faltered; if anything, it was stronger than ever. It wasn’t always sexual, however. His desire to just be close to you only grew stronger the more your abdomen grew. Gentle touches across your back, arms touching when sitting together during supper, holding you snugly against his body while you slept; anything to stay close to you. The same sentiment held true even in ursine form, of course. You frequently found yourself sitting beneath a tree or in a sunny field with the head of your bear placed gently in your lap during a midday nap or felt a wet nose nuzzling against your swollen belly. 

Not to say that his more intimate desires for you wavered in the slightest. It was hard enough for you to keep your hands off each other before the discovery of your pregnancy, but had only intensified since. Many nights were spent in each others embrace and were filled with soft kisses and playful bites. Each time was always gentle and seemed to feel more loving than the last. In every aspected you could imagine, Halsin was the perfect partner; not that you had imagined any less from him. The love you had for him had only intensified in the recent months and you could see the same sentiment reflected from him each time you caught him staring at you. His eyes always filled with softness and love, something that made your heart melt on a daily basis. 

A shift in placement of your baby made you grunt, your side now aching with the pressure of some appendage now pressing into your ribcage. You sat up from your position against the druid, leaning forward and side to side to try and stop the pain. As much as you loved the feeling of the tiny bits of movement here and there, you couldn’t help but groan whenever the child landed in a particularly inconvenient spot. Occasionally you’d feel a kick here and there, but you mostly just felt the entire body of your child moving in your abdomen. Despite being near you constantly, Halsin had yet to feel a kick or a bit of movement from your belly. It always seemed to stop when he placed a hand on your stomach to feel for movement. You felt them, of course, but wished Halsin could do the same. 

“Is everything all right?” Halsin asked as he noticed your movements. He placed his whittling knife and piece he’d been working on to the side, turning more towards you in the process. His large hand slowly worked its way up and down your back, trying to rub out any knot or muscle tension.

“Oh yes,” you said with a sharp inhale, “I just feel as if I have a foot in my ribs. Right in here.” You took his hand in yours, sliding it from your back to the side of your belly where the pain was, hoping he would finally have his change to feel the baby move. His thumb lightly caressed your stomach in an attempt to encourage the tiny little foot to move.

“Well, given the circumstance, I’d wager and say you probably do.” He said with a laugh. As the discomfort in your side finally subsided, you found yourself reclining on your hands with your legs extended in front of you. The change of position seemed to move your little one just enough to alleviate the discomfort and you finally had a moment of relaxation. Your head fell back and lightly brushed against the trunk of the tree, your eyes closing as you felt a gentle breeze across your face. 

Halsin’s hand remained on your belly, gently running it along the side and around the front until it eventually settled on top. With a deep sigh you finally opened your eyes, your head rolling to the side to meet Halsin’s gaze. However, instead of meeting your eyes, his own were fixed to his hand atop your stomach, a grin spreading across his lips the more he lingered, but there was the faintest hint of something else in his eyes.

“What’s on your mind, my love?” You asked softly as you took in his expression. He was lost in thought, his mind drifting as you both sat in the coolness of the shade and you returned to your former position. Your hand rested atop his for a moment before sliding up his forearm and back down, the ministrations finally grabbing his attention from his deep concentration. 

“Everything,” Halsin said after a long pause, “as always. But I have to admit that as of late I find myself worrying about you, mostly, my heart.”

“How do I worry you? Is it the baby?” You asked, surprised at his answer, “Please, tell me. Let me ease your mind. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me.”

“Well, partially it’s the child. In my many years I’ve seen countless others give birth and I’m aware of the risks. I know the dangers child bearing can bring and leave in its aftermath. So I have my concerns in relation to that, but most of my concerns lay outside of that.” His palm light trailed across the expanse of your belly; his touch soft and loving.

“Tell me, then, please.” You lightly brushed a few stray strands of hair from his face, tucking them behind a pointed ear. 

“We’ve discussed this before, but I have to ask,” he paused as he spoke, that rare look of vulnerability flashing across his face as he tried to form his words, “are you happy? Truly happy? With everything that’s come after the Netherbrain, I mean. Can you say for certain that you are satisfied and content with the life we’ve built here?”

“Halsin, my love, I couldn’t have dreamed of a happier life.” The hand that had brushed through his hair came down his neck and finally rested on his chest, directly above his heart. “Why would you even need to ask such a question?”

“To ease my mind, I suppose. I pulled you from a life of praise and newfound opulence that came from saving Baldur’s Gate only to thrust you into a life of quiet, often thankless, servitude. I just want to be certain that this life is something you want and not something I’ve forced you into; especially now that you are so close to having a child. I don’t want you to have regrets.” He spoke quietly but surely.

“I don’t want or need the praise and wealth the city offered. You, though? You I need. And I can’t go without you for even a second. I chose to leave with you to build a life here because that’s what I wanted. We both did. You didn’t force me into anything. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, I had to practically beg to convince you that it’s what I wanted, did I not?”

“Oh yes,” he said with a slight smile, “I believe I recall you calling me an ass.”

“I was terrified of you turning me away!” You couldn’t help but laugh at the memory, “You can’t blame me for my words when I wanted nothing more than to follow you and be by your side. And to this day there is nothing I want more. I would choose this life we’ve built and I would choose you again and again.”

You leaned forward slightly, trailing your hand back up along his neck and chest until it rested on his cheek, gently pulling his head towards you until your foreheads met in a gentle caress. You’d come to adore your frequent forehead touches with the elf, almost enjoying them more than a kiss in a moment like this. It was a simple, intimate gesture that brought the both of you so much comfort in moments of insecurity and uncertainty. 

“And I would do this all over again in every lifetime, my love. In every possible form we may find ourselves in. All without an ounce of hesitation or regret. And now that we’re having a child? My dearest love, my heart is full. We have built something truly wonderful not only in this community we call home, but something wonderful and beautiful in this tiny little child we’ve created.” You lingered against his skin for a moment more before finally pulling away, your hand still cupping his cheek as you spoke again.

“Halsin, please, don’t every worry that you’ve taken me from something. In reality, you have given me the greatest gift possible. Release those fears from your mind. They hold no weight here.” You whispered softly before pressing a gentle kiss to his tattooed cheek.

“You truly are a gift from Silvanus himself, my heart. You’ve brought back the youthful optimism and stamina of this old, pardon…older druid, my heart.” You smirked at his attempt to remember your distain for referring to himself as old, appreciating the effort. 

“Trust me love, if my condition is any indication of how spry you are, I’d say you have the vigor of someone just barely over a hundred.” You said as you began to recline back again. Not satisfied with your quick contact from earlier, he gently took your chin in his grasp and pulled you to him until your lips softly connected. A string of slow, soft kisses soon followed, along with praises coming from each of you after each brush of your lips. 

Shouting from across the town square broke the serenity of the moment. You and Halsin both turned in the direction of the commotion, instincts immediately springing into action at the sound. Screams of terror and anger could be heard behind you, steadily growing louder. You were still struggling to even begin to get up when Halsin told you to stay where you were; a command more than a request. Before you had time to argue, Halsin had rushed the the cause of commotion, leaving you on the ground struggling to stand.

“Gods above.” You muttered to yourself as you finally managed to get to your feet, using the tree as support in the process. As quickly but as carefully as you could as to avoid disrupting your little one, you hurried to the sound of the commotion, despite Halsin’s request fo you to stay put.

You had gotten to the town square just in time to see what the commotion was. The freshly deceased body of a war painted goblin was splayed along the ground, its throat having been quickly sliced apart by the enraged cave bear looming over the corpse. You immediately knew the bear to be Halsin, who had no doubt changed at the first sight of the attacking goblin. Two other goblins had accompanied the deceased one, but had quickly turned tail in fear at the emergence of the bear. Not to the surprise of anyone in the community, Halsin quickly chased after them, releasing a roar loud and deep enough that you could feel the reverberations in your body. He would no doubt make quick work of the intruders, giving you the chance to ensure there were no other lingering goblins or nasties before checking in on any potential injuries. 

With your hand placed on the underside of your belly for support, you squatted next to the slain goblin, taking note of the silver pendant hanging around its neck. You felt a cold chill run down your spine when you saw the symbol of the Absolute within the safety of your home. Anger surged within you as well, cruising yourself for not handling this problem sooner. Thank the gods that no one was injured, other than the goblin, but the experience was enough to shake everyone. Thaniel’s Realm was meant to be a sanctuary for the lost and lonely, safe from threats of any kind and a place to live in harmony with nature. Now, however, that safety had been shattered and danger was no longer a looming threat, but a real and bloody reality.

You spent the rest of the afternoon checking in with everyone, ensuring their safety and checking for wounds. The children of the realm were shaken by the events of the day, but they were resilient. They had faced too many hardships and dangers with the threat of a mind flayer invasion and Netherbrain control for them to be running from a handful of goblins, but you wanted to be there to lend a hand to hold and a lap to sit on if needed. The nightly supper and bedtime stories for the children continued as usual once the remnants of the mutilated goblin had been cleared away, the usual nightly feel of home returning once everyone had a full belly. You walked home quietly, your mind racing with the events of the day and your emotions high strung. With a grunt of effort you sat on the few steps that led to entrance of your home. You sat in silence, absentmindedly running your hands along the expanse of your stomach as you waited for your druid to return.

**********************************************************************************************************

It was well past nightfall by the time Halsin finally returned home to you, bloodied and still in bear form. Even though you were certain would never harm you while in wild shape, there was no denying just how intimidating his form was. His snout was absolutely drenched in goblin blood, splatter even reaching to the top of his head, and you could feel the hot pants of his breath against your legs as he approached. There was the faintest glow still present in his eyes, making it very clear that he was still deeply angry about the situation at hand. The low growls emitting from his chest could be felt in your bones as you gently reached out to place a hand on the underside of his chin. You could feel his pulse begin to return to normal as your fingers brushed against his pulse point, despite the thick layer of fur between his skin and your fingers. 

“Come along love,” you said to your bear softly, “let’s get you cleaned up.” His sharp claws were also covered in blood, bits of flesh and cloth dangling from a few of them. Given the sight of him, you didn’t want to imagine what was left of the goblins that had stormed your home, if there even remains at all. Either way, Halsin was drenched in assorted viscera and could do for a warm bath; both to clean and to soothe. 

Once you pulled your hand from his chin, the bear erupted in a familiar flash of light, ending the wild shape of the bear and transfiguring Halsin back to an elf, who was just as bloody as the bear. He was still breathing heavily after the transformation, remaining silent as he rolled his neck and shoulders and shook out any remaining feelings of the bear. He closed his eyes briefly, allowing himself a calming breath before look back to you, his gaze much softer but no less expressive. Despite the intense rage you had witness earlier, he was as gentle as ever with you. With a soft touch, he helped you to your feet before quickly looking over you, checking for injuries. After reassuring Halsin that you and your child were fine, you led him inside and drew him a warm bath.

Once he had seated himself in the water of the washtub, he began to calm and relax more, the temperature of the water helping to ease any remaining tension in his muscles. After he had seemed to cool off a bit, you set to work. With a soft cloth and a gentle touch, you began washing the dark blood from his face. Starting with his forehead and working your way down, you worked quietly, not sure of what to say to ease his mind more. With each wipe of his face, you dunked the soft cloth back into the water to rinse it before returning to his skin. When you wiped away the last of the blood from his chin, he finally spoke.

“We cannot afford to sit idly anymore.” He said as you shifted your attention to the rest of his body, wiping along his chest and down his arms meticulously.

“No,” you murmured as you checked for wounds along his shoulders and arms, “we can’t. We can head out in the morning? The next day perhaps? Figure out where the group is, how strong they are, look at the defenses-” Your speech was quickly cut off before you could finish your thought.

“We? I hope you’re not suggesting that you come along as well.” His brows knitted together at your response, utterly bewildered that you would even suggest such a thing.

“Of course I am,” you said quickly, “I can’t sit at home and twiddle my thumbs and expect you to handle it all. I told you when we first came here that we share the responsibility of our home. It’s not your burden to bear alone, Halsin.”

“And you have done an absolutely beautiful job of doing so, my love, but you must stay here.” His hands lifted from the tinted water, reaching out to cup your cheeks with his palms. He looked you in the eyes, holding a stern gaze with you.

“The people here can survive without us for a few days. They’re not completely helpless. They already do most of the cooking and running of the market and the children will be fine under their watch.” You tossed the cloth into the water, standing in the process. Now was not the time for arguing; it was the time for action. Your home had just been invaded and arguing over who should go and when was irrelevant in your eyes. You were both more than capable of dispatching goblins. You pulled a towel down from a nearby shelf after hearing Halsin hastily step out of the water, patting him dry as you checked his lower body for injuries as well. 

“Yes, they can. They are prospering beyond what either of us could have imagined and in such a short time. And we are prospering ourselves,” he softly placed a hand on the peak of your belly, “and we cannot risk losing this blessing.”

“I can take care of myself,” you scoffed at the remark, “it’s not the first time I’ve faced a handful of cultists, my dear.”

“You would be a target.” He said firmly, not relenting in his stance on the matter, “If the remaining followers of the Absolute are just as vicious as I remember then they would target you in an instant. Just by looking at you, it’s no secret that you’re carrying a child. I don’t even want to think of what they could do to you or the child if they managed to get a hold of you.” 

You could hear the fear in his voice, despite the firmness in which he spoke. Unfortunately, he was right. Being only a handful of weeks away from going into labor, your belly extended far and would only get bigger from here. Targeting you would be the easiest way to distract a raging cave bear or sword wielding druid. And, realistically, you were in no condition to travel, let alone fight. You had a hard enough time earlier in the afternoon just to get up from the ground. Traversing the land, sleeping on the ground, and battle would not only be uncomfortable, it would be impossible. Not to mention the risks it could pose to your child. It could result in an early birth or a loss of the pregnancy altogether. Plus, the idea of toting around a newborn while trying to hack away goblins would be less than idea.

“I know,” you sighed, resigned to the truth, “I know. It’s agreed then, I’ll stay.”

“Thank you, my heart,” his hands landed on your shoulders now, “if the scouts’ information is correct, it should only be a few days walk to their encampment. Give it a ten-day and we should all be back home.”

“What about you? Are you not staying with me?” It was your turn for confusion to cross your face. You knew Halsin would want to leave with them to battle the upcoming fight, but you needed him at home with you; albeit for more selfish reasons. 

“Someone has to lead them,” he said, “they are capable, but they need a leader for battle if it comes to that. And given that most of our neighbors are children, I need to be the one to lead them.” You shook your head, understanding his logic, but disagreeing fully.

“And what happens if you get hurt? Captured? Killed? What then?” The pitch of your voice increased, emotion beginning to get the better of you.

“Were you not just willing to walk into a battle with me while with child? Why has that changed all of a sudden?” He huffed at your reaction, not understanding why you both couldn’t see eye to eye on the situation. 

“Because if I’m with you out there then I can see you. I can see with my own eyes that you are safe and alive. If I stay here and you go out there, I’ll be left in the dark. I won’t know if you’re alive or if your corpse is rotting on the side of the road somewhere. Maybe captured and left in a cage to starve or something even worse. I need the peace of mind of knowing with absolute certainty that you’re still breathing, my love.” You’d already saved Halsin from a cage once before, so you knew it was possible for it to happen all over again or worse. No. You needed him home so you could make sure he was safe. Safe to remain with you and safe so he could meet his child.

“If I fall in battle then that is nature’s will. And I’ll have died making sure that you, this community, and this little one are safe. It would be a sacrifice made with love; that I can assure you.” He said softly, trying to ease you into the reality of what was needed.

His words squeezed your heart, making you push from his embrace in recoil. Your lips quivered as your eyes became wet, your breath hitching in your throat. Without another word, he pulled you into him, your arms pinned between his chest and yours. Your cheek was pressed firmly to his bare chest, still slightly damp from the bath, and you felt your throat burn with the anticipation of a sob. You couldn’t think of that; of the possibility of Halsin leaving and never returning because he was killed by an off shoot of a cult you’d already defeated once. He held you tightly to his chest as best he could, given the size of your belly, and kept you there until your breathing had slowed and you could speak without your voice cracking.

“I can’t do this alone,” you said after you’d calmed a bit, “I need you here.” You voice wavered as you spoke. Your memory flittered back to the months you travelled together on the road, camping where you could and bringing the best suited to battle. It was often that when you asked one of your other members to stay behind for a spell, they would always question your judgement. They trusted you with their lives, but there was always the hesitancy of staying behind. Like you in this moment, they felt as if they would be the best choice to bring along. After all, what harm could befall your or everyone else if they came too? As much as you found the back talking to be a nuisance, you finally understood why they would do it. It wasn’t to be in control or undermine your judgements, but it was done simply out of a desire to protect.

And now, you wanted to be the one to protect Halsin from whatever dangers he may face. You had both worked too hard to reach the bliss you’d settled upon to let it be unraveled by a handful of goblins and vagabonds. However, you knew in your heart that you couldn’t go. You were a liability and a target. You needed to stay, much to your dismay. But, despite your sudden realization, you still couldn’t wrap your head around why Halsin specifically needed to go. He needed to stay; for both his sake and yours. The idea of giving birth scared you more than facing the Absolute, but more so the thought of your child losing their father before they could even meet weighed more heavily on your mind. Wherever you need me. That was always what he told you when you asked him to stay in camp. He never questioned or argued or requests then, so why is he now? Why did he have to be so stubborn at times?

“And you won’t be, my love,” he softly kissed your temple again, “but those that are going need guidance and I should be the one to answer that call. I’m not venturing forth because I want to roam or feel the rush of battle. Protecting this place we’ve built, and all those in it, are my duty now. You, my heart, and our little one are my duty. To keep you both safe. As I said, it shouldn’t be more than a ten-day. I’ll be back long before this chid of ours comes; you have my word.”

**********************************************************************************************************

Sleep would not come to you in the night. The thought of Halsin leaving you for a ten-day at minimum, potentially more, kept you wide awake with a knot in your stomach. You lay on your side, your back pressed firmly to Halsin’s chest as he slept lightly beside you. His breaths were absent of his typical snores, signaling that he was having trouble sleeping himself or a lesser quality of sleep at the very least. His arm was wrapped securely around you, cradling your heavily extended belly as his gentle breaths tickled the hair on the nape of your neck. 

Moonlight trickled in through the window, painting the room in an ethereal glow that would have been idillic if it wasn’t for the foul thoughts swimming in your brain. You knew Halsin was more than capable of surviving against a small band of crazed cult worshippers, but you still had your doubts. Saving your beloved bear from a cage in a goblin camp was the first time you’d met the man, so that particular memory kept eating away at your mind as you tried to sleep. If he did end up captured, or worse, would mean that he would be stuck in whatever gods awful place the remnant cultists were holed up in until someone, more than likely you, could find him.

However, that alone would have to wait until after you birthed your little one because ultimately, Halsin was right. You couldn’t afford to go out adventuring in your current state. You had a hard enough time standing from a seated position due to the size of your ever growing abdomen, so to actively battle someone and not injure yourself or your child would be practically impossible. So, you’d have to wait until after you gave birth, but would also have to decide on how long to wait until after they were born. You couldn’t bring a newborn on the road with you and you also couldn’t bring yourself to leave them home. Suddenly, as if he could sense your unease and inability to rest, you felt Halsin stir beside you.

“Rest, my heart.” He all but growled in your ear, his grip around your tightening around you slightly as he shifted himself again, “You’re going to worry the little one into the world far too early if you don’t ease your mind.” His voice was groggy from sleep, but still firm enough to get his point across.  

With a huff, both from annoyance exhaustion and discomfort from the amount of effort it took to move because of your pregnancy, you rolled to your opposite side. You couldn’t be as close to him as you would have liked, given the size of your bump, but you managed as best you could. With your nose nestled into the warmth of the crook of his neck and your arms squeezed between you, you finally found a comfortable position that may allow for the slightest amount of sleep. Halsin’s strong arm surrounded your body once again, his arm lightly tracing patterns along your back in an attempt to soothe your nerves. Eventually, and much to your gratitude, you managed to settle into a slumber. It wasn’t the most peaceful night you’d had in a long while, but you couldn’t argue that some rest was better than none. Your sleep was dreamless; just a dark voice of silence.

Come morning, the familiar embrace of Halsin’s lips to your forehead and calloused hand cupping your chin caused you to stir, your mind slightly foggy from the haze of sleep you’d finally managed to settle into. Your lover was hovered over you, planting his usual loving kisses to your skin to gently rouse you from your slumber. You hummed softly at the touch of his lips, reaching up to place your hand over his only to come into contact with his old bracers. The wood was rough under your touch; familiar yet a stranger in these past months of bliss. When your mind finally cleared of your slumber, you realized he was already dressed for the day, ready to take to the road in pursuit of the Absolute assailants. 

“First light was agreed upon, my love. Otherwise I would stay here with you for every precious moment.” He said as you sat up, the resurgence of dread filling you. With a deep sigh, you quickly pulled on a loose fitting outfit with the intention of seeing Halsin off for his journey. You still disagreed with him leaving, but you also knew there would be no changing his mind or stopping him. He was leaving out of duty to protect both his home and his growing family, and he was more than willing to die for both.

“A kiss for the road?” You asked softly after you’d pulled on your quick outfit, meeting him to the main threshold of your home.

“Of course. As if you even had to ask,” Halsin said as his hands rested across your shoulders, "It is as I said before you faced the Netherbrain, this shall not be our last, my heart.”

His lips pressed firmly to yours, but there was still the softness you adored. He was always so, so gentle and loving with you. You gripped the edges of his old armor firmly, desperately trying to keep him as close to you as possible as you shared your parting kiss. He groaned against your lips, not wanting to part from you and only desired to hold you to him, but you both knew you needed to part ways so he could meet the scouting party across town. After all, the sooner he left, the sooner he would return to you and your child.

“A ten-day, I promise.” He said as you finally parted ways, meeting your gaze with soft eyes that almost threatened to form a tear.

“And not a day more.” You said it almost as a command, but you also muttered it as a prayer. 

With a brush of his nose to yours, Halsin pulled from you, his eyes lingering on your features for a moment longer before his gaze drifted to your abdomen. He knelt to one knee in front of you, placing both hands on either side of your belly before pressing a lingering kiss to the area above your navel. Once his lips parted, he pressed his forehead to the same spot and you could hear him muttering a prayer to Silvanus for safety and guidance. You placed your hands along his, bowing your head to join in on his prayer. Before long, he finally stood

“Not a single day more, my loves.” He repeated when he finally lifted his hands from your body, turning to leave as he did. You shared one final look to each other before he eventually left, calling out his love for you one more time. You leaned against the doorway to your home, your eyes fixed on Halsin as he made he way across the realm.

When Halsin’s bulking frame finally faded from your line of sight, you couldn’t help but sigh as you strolled your way back inside your shared home. The exhaustion from the terrible nights sleep was still weighing heavily on your tired eyes and with Halsin’s fate in the hands of Silvanus, you decided to try and rest more. There was much to do around the area, but for now the people of Thaniel’s Realm could carry on with your absence for the morning. You plopped down on Halsin’s side of the bed, a grunt escaping your lips in the process. Just as you prepared yourself to crawl back under the covers, you felt it. 

You could feel the tiny, glorious little kicks from inside your belly. You smiled at the feeling, running a hand along the patch of skin where the kicks were most prominent. It was always a strange sensation, but a most welcome one. The small amounts of movement you could feel coming from your little one always reminded you how worth the hardships of child bearing were. Every morning you woke up ill, every piece of food that made you nauseous, and each ache and pain your body endured were always worth it just to feel the small signs of life coming from within. You sometimes felt guilty when you felt the movement, a feeling a selfishness always coming to a head when you failed to make it to Halsin in time for him to have a feel for himself. Throughout the entirety of your pregnancy, he had yet to feel a kick from your beloved little child.

When the movement from your belly lasted longer than usual, you decided to make a final attempt at allowing Halsin to sense the movements for himself. Without a moment to spare, you quickly made your way to your feet and out the door to your home, your hand placed firmly along the side of your belly to keep track of the movements. With the grace of a deer crossing a meadow, you flitted your way through town, which was unusually busy and full of residents saying goodbye to those traveling with Halsin. With a string of apologies and pardons, you weaved your way through the crowd, being careful to avoid any collisions. You weren’t sure if Halsin was still even in the town, considering he’d gotten a head start to the journey to the entrance, but you were determined to try your hardest to let him experience the feel of his child.

When you made it to the town square you paused, both to scan the crowd for the druid and to rest. In general, movement had become harder for you the more your abdomen grew, causing you to tired easily and not do a much as you were accustomed to doing. You inhaled through your nose and exhaled slowly through pursed lips as you continued to look for Halsin. You took a few steps forward and were delighted to see that your quick footsteps would soon be rewarded. 

“Halsin!” You called when your eyes finally spotted him, quickly ushering him over to you with a wave of your hand, the other placed along the side of your extended belly. Halsin’s head quickly snapped in your direction, seemingly hearing the urgency in your voice as his gaze settled upon you. He had been conversing with Thaniel before you interrupted, but he wasted no time in giving a quick, light pat to the boys shoulders to excuse himself before he made his way to you. His steps were quick, bordering on a jog as he approached as quickly as possible. 

“I’m here, my heart.” He said as he came to you, “Is something wrong? What can I do?” You now realize that your excitement had come across as potential cause for concern and that concern had quickly consumed his mind. His face was stoic, but with a quick glance to his eyes you could see the worry building. His hands had instinctively made their to your arms, holding you close as he searched your face for answers. There was a twinge of guilt that made its way through your mind with the realization you had instilled fear in your beloved druid, but knew that concern would quickly melt away once he realized why you’d come to him to urgently.

“Nothing,” you said as gently as you could, your excitement almost taking your breath away, “Nothing’s wrong; far from it. Just…just wait. It’ll come back.” Without giving a more detailed explanation, you took his large hands from their place along your arms and moved them to your abdomen. You both stood there in silence, staring down towards your stomach as you waited for another sign of movement.

“There!” You whispered as quietly as possible, but your excitement had still gotten the better of you, “There, my love. Do you feel it?” You placed your hands atop his, pressing them lightly to your belly with the hopes he could have his first feel the feather light kicks coming from within.

The worry that was written across Halsin’s face quickly disappeared and was replaced with a look of what you could only call bliss. The fear in his eyes softened and his eyelids seemed to droop. His lips pulled into a smile and you could swear you caught the faintest glimpse of a tear threatening to fall to his cheeks.

“Yes, my heart, I do.” Halsin whispered as he pressed lightly against you, desperately wanting to feel another gentle bit of movement. As quietly as he could, the druid gave a gentle chuckle as if he was in disbelief in what he was feeling.

“I was afraid it would stop if I kept walking,” you explained as he shifted his hands around your front side to feel more, “I didn’t want you to miss this.” 

With his hands still cradling the swell of your belly, Halsin leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours, sighing happily as he felt another kick against his palm. Several kicks later, you felt him lean more heavily against you, almost nuzzling as his shoulders and muscles relaxed with your touch. He basked in the feeling of his little one moving against your combined touch. You hummed in contentment as you felt him rock you both back and forth slowly, as if you were entangled in a slow dance together. In that moment, despite being surrounded by dozens of people, there were only the two of you, standing together as one to bask in the warmth and joy that was the child wriggling in your belly. Nothing else mattered except the safety of the embrace you shared and the soft, tiny kicks you both could feel.

“Thank you,” he whispered against your skin, “for everything. For allowing me this moment.”

“Just be sure to be back before this child is born, love,” you said softly, “I want you to enjoy many more.” Your eyes opened only to be met with his soft gaze. You’re not sure how long he’d been looking at you, but the warmth behind his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Oak Father preserve you, my heart.” With a final lingering kiss to your forehead, Halsin reluctantly pulled his hands from your belly as he took a step back. 

“You as well, my love.” You said quietly. You knew that if you spoke any louder your voice would crack and tears would spill from your eyes. You understood and respected his obligation to protecting the community he had worked so hard to build, but part of you wanted to be selfish and keep him home. You had seen him in battle many times against the Absolute so you knew his strengths, but you also couldn’t shake the memory of your first meeting in the goblin camp. There was always the very real possibility that he could find himself captured once again or even killed and that thought terrified you to your core. You didn’t want to see anything happen to him for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one being the child the two of you were getting ready to bring into the world. 

After everything he had gone through and the misery he’d endured for centuries, he deserved this. He deserved to be there to welcome his child in his arms and drink in those first precious moments. You wanted to see the joy in his face in watching that child prosper in the land he held dear to his heart; to see them flourish and grow to respect the balance between nature and civilization. And, more selfishly, you wanted him there when you gave birth. You were terrified to be alone for that and only wanted his soothing presence there to help you though it all.

As you watched the last of the scouting group leave the gates of the community, you turned to head back towards the market. It would soon be time for dinner and with Halsin now gone, the duty of the community now rested on your shoulders. You offered a quick prayer to Silvanus for the safety of Halsin and the scouting party, but also that your merry band of children would enjoy your nightly bedtime stories in Halsin’s absence.

Tag List: @incrediblethirst, @reignydeys, @thoughts-of-bear, @im-eating-rn, @beardedladyqueen , @simplysaying @emorylovescats, @distelsterncat, @cryingoverpixelsetc

[sephsimp]

Subject of Interest -

Sephiroth x reader/OC

Nameless, descriptionless first person PoV.

Rated M

Cross posted on Ao3 here.

Enjoy the self indulgence my brain forces me to manifest.

Part 2 - Electric Boogaloo (?)

It was late. 

So late in fact, that I wondered what I was doing here holed up in the SOLDIER Director's office finishing jobs that should have been completed hours ago. So late, the Director himself had left some hours before, unbothered as he announced his departure, knowing I had a mountain of work, for he had assigned it to me. 

 Mad was an understatement. Generally, my relationship with Lazard was favourable, he was a good man and we got on well enough that I had no issue spending hours in his company, trailing after him to board meetings and on business trips. Always there, never addressed. Important as I was to him, to everyone I was simply his Secretary, his personal assistant, no one that mattered, a nameless figure in the background. 

 Of course, given my position I was privy to knowledge not many would be, I would advise, suggest, schedule. I enjoyed my job, as much as I would grumble. 

 Simply put, his life would be harder without me. 

 So why did he insist upon making mine needlessly difficult. 

A storm raged outside the building, rain hammering relentlessly into the expanse of glass that covered one wall of the office. Flashes of light would somehow brighten the already well lit room, deep rumbles would follow shortly after. Yet another inconvenience, my journey home would be taxing, inconvenient - if the trains were even running to accommodate my commute. 

I sighed, grumbling into the silence as I shut my laptop and glanced at the clock. 21:07. Fabulous. I gathered my things, packing everything away before making my way to the elevator. An eerie silence filled the corridors as I made my way, broken only by the occasional crash of thunder, some so abrupt the space around me felt as though it shook. 

 As I rounded the corner, a flash of silver caught my eye. Silver on black, a graceful movement. 

 I was in no mood to talk to anyone let alone him. Not that he would entertain any form of conversation anyway, for he rarely made smalltalk.

His head inclined slightly, eyes catching mine, a splash of colour on the monotone of him,  before returning forwards. Well, if he knew I was here there really was no point in delaying my journey in favour of avoidance. I strode with mock confidence, halting several feet to his left, my eyes trained on the display that marked the lift’s descent. 

 I could hear him shift, the slight creek of leather as his chest slowly expanded and contracted with his breaths. The subtle noise of his gloves as his fingers absently shifted at his sides, the chink of the metal adorning him as he shifted his weight so slightly. I was acutely aware of him, a tension setting atop my shoulders at his presence, even in indifferent silence his mere aura was commanding, suffocating. No matter how many times I'd find myself sharing a space, whether alone or with others, he was the only thing my mind and body could focus on, I would liken his existence to something intoxicating, dangerous but in a way that intrigued. I often wondered if he had that same effect on others.

He was certainly a subject of thinly veiled interest for me, how well I was able to hide that fact was up for debate, of course. I wasn't some mewling fangirl, I found myself around him too often to be anything less than professional, but I was not immune to the fact, that simply - he was a masterpiece in every way a man could be. 

I jolted from my thoughts, the breath I didn't even know I'd been holding leaving in a quick, audible burst as a flash of light filled the space. The lift dinged, the doors opened and my heart hammered in my chest, either at the sudden disturbsnce or something else. I eyed the open doors and when he did not immediately enter, stole a glance at him. 

 As our eyes met, he inclined his head from me to the open doors, subtly gesturing with his hand as he did so. 

 “Thanks,” I spoke quietly as I passed him, stepping into the elevator and retreating to the rail on the back wall of it, as he stepped in as well, the space suddenly felt suffocatingly small. 

 “Well?” His voice, the low rumble of it floated into my ears and I blinked a few times, had he spoke to me?

 “Hm?” The questioning noise sounded in my throat as I raised my head to respond. 

 “I asked you what floor.” He stated, deep voice displaying absolutely nothing but indifference. 

“Oh, ground floor.” I watched his hand hover over the buttons and select the ‘G’ “-please” I added quietly. As the lift began to move, so did he, stepping back to lean on the railing alongside me - closer than was necessary, far enough away that his proximity wasn't a concern. Or at least it wouldn't have been if he were literally anyone else.

 “You're here late,” I looked up and over at him as he spoke, the lift beginning to move. He didn't look at me as he folded his arms and crossed one leg over the other before, without moving a single muscle his eyes met mine. 

 “Lazard dumped a bunch of work on me last minute and then bailed,” I shrugged, voice miraculously calm as I responded. 

 “Unusual to see you out of his shadow.” The corner of his lips quirked slightly. 

“I'm allowed my freedom, when it's convenient of course.” My delivery was dry but it hit as intended judging by the way he sharply expelled air from his nose, smile very slightly widening before he settled back to neutrality. 

 “Tell me..” he was cut short as the lights were, the entire space succumbing to darkness, the mechanical sounds of the lift halting as it did. I could see the glow of his eyes as they searched the space before landing on me. 

 “Well, I was sure my day couldn't possibly get any worse, I do love being proven wrong,” the irony of an Electric power company, losing power in a storm was not lost on me. Absolutely great news, stuck in a small metal box with a man who's aura filled the entirety of it. 

 “It should pass,” his voice sounded somehow louder with my sight taken from me. Come to think of it, everything did, I was once again acutely aware of every small shift of his body, every breath he took and now, the vague scent of sweet leather that drifted across my senses in a way that had me savouring it. Of course, he smelled nice too, of course he did, he couldn't smell awful just to give other men a fighting chance, could he? 

 A few long moments of tense silence passed and then we were bathed in the dim green glow of the emergency lighting. Somehow though, his eyes were still illuminated against it, bright green with slit pupils, a hint of blue around the edges, was he closer now? No.

 

“Buckle in whoever's in there, back-up power is routed to elevators last, you're looking at an hour minimum.” A voice crackled through the intercom.

 “A building with seventy floors and the elevators are the lowest priority?” I scoffed. 

 “There are far higher priorities in this building than the elevators, as unfortunate as that is for us.” His voice was still indifferent, quiet and calm, whether I expected him to or not, he did not elaborate. 

He was statuesque as time passed, face forward, the occasional blink signifying that he was in fact alive and not inanimate. I was restless however, mimicking his position with my arms folded, fingers drumming on my arm as my foot absently tapped occasionally, my eyes would drift over to him, then back forward. What felt like an age had in fact been a startlingly lengthy ten minutes. 

 “Is your insistent fidgeting necessary?” his voice, a slight snark to it broke the silence and I froze all movement. 

 “Is it bothering you?” I snapped back, instantly scrunching up my face in a wince. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the way his head slowly moved to look at me directly. 

 “Oh? It bites.” The barest hint of amusement laced his low tone and my heart near jolted. How could I even respond to that?

 

“When it must.” I quipped back, averting my gaze. 

 “Is this what you're like when you're not playing the doting secretary?” He mused, eyebrow raised, amusement still entwined his voice and features.  

 “What?” I scowled slightly, twisting my body to face him. 

 “You trail around after Lazard like a dog on a leash.” 

 “That's my job,” I unfolded my arms to hold onto the railing I leaned on, voice snipping past my lips. 

 “No need to be on the defensive, I was simply making an observation.” His voice was so calm and indifferent I think it only served to stoke the flame of mild irritation that had been kindled by the events leading up to the moment. 

 “Yeah, an unwelcome one,” short and sharp as I responded. 

 “But yet, a truth.” 

 I scoffed again, hands clenching the railing as I felt my jaw set in frustration. 

 “Is it bothering you?” He leant closer as he spoke, voice low and quiet while he echoed my earlier question but with a subtle, condescending arrogance laced into it. 

 “No,” an obvious lie, spoken too hastily to be truly Convincing. I dared to look at him, his arms were still folded, but his upper body tilted ever so slightly towards me, a haughty look decorating his face as he peered down at me, single eyebrow raised. 

 Genuinely, what the fuck was going on here? 

 “I see you at meetings, always the picture of composure, of diligence, but I also see the subtle cracks in that composure.” 

 “What?” I twisted my body slightly to face him better, hoping to get some kind of read on him. 

 “Need I elaborate?” 

 “Well yes actually because I have no idea what you're on about.” Gone was the carefully constructed politeness to my tone.

 “The front you raise is admirable in its consistency. But it is not faultless. You should work on that.” He turned his body, twisting it more in my direction, his eyes peering down at me almost lazily as he spoke. “Like now for example, your frustration is evident.” 

 

“It's half past nine and we're stuck in a lift, of course it's evident.” I looked up to him, closer now and my breath caught as my eyes locked with his, I felt my whole body go still. 

 I suddenly felt like prey, frozen in a state of inevitability before a predator. The look on his face was one of lazy amusement, as though he were getting some form of entertainment from my irritable responses to his bizarre analysis of my conduct. 

 “Understandable now, though I notice often, the tension as Lazard says something particularly ridiculous. The set of your jaw when Scarlet ridicules him and you're forced to bite your tongue, among other things.” His voice grew closer, quieter the more statements he reeled off. 

 “Been studying me, have you?” My tone was defensive as I held fast, refusing to recoil from his slow advancement. 

 He huffed a breath of amusement from his nose, not quite a laugh or a scoff, something in between. 

 “There's little else of interest in a room full of egos that cannot be contained,” his gloved hand was almost touching mine on the railing now, his body, twisted to face mine, was less than a foot away. His suffocating aura was so intense with his proximity, in the dim green lighting he was illuminated from angles that highlighted the sharpness of his features. I couldn't help but stare as my eyes travelled over his jawbone, cheekbone, the straight line of his nose and the sharp set of his eyes, but finally the contrasting softness of his lips, quirked up at the edges. I snapped my eyes to his, conscious I'd let my gaze linger a little too long, he was observant, he would surely have noticed. 

 “So you think I'm interesting?” I'd be damned if I allowed myself to shrink away meekly. 

 “In a room full of things I find uninteresting.” His voice was slow, a low tone to it I'd never heard on him. 

 “And what about now?” my own voice dropped involuntarily, I could feel all my senses on edge, apprehensive, receptive to him. 

 “Well, there's nothing of interest here, is there?” He paused “except you.” He leaned in even closer, his body almost in front of mine now, his voice somehow dropping lower still.

 I swallowed thickly, his eyes darted to the bob of my throat, my own lips then back to my eyes, in the dim green light his pupils were wider, I could feel the heat in my body concentrating itself in my face, my heart practically skipping a beat. Was he superhuman enough that he could hear that?

“Am I interesting, then?” As my silence stretched a few seconds longer he broke it, the creaking leather of his outfit filling the new silence that followed as he moved, now completely in front of me, the broad planes of his chest level with my eyes, the musky smell of leather and the sweet scent of his hair almost overwhelming. 

 “You know you are.” His lips were in line with my vision as I tilted my head slightly upwards, the subtle curve of them growing as I spoke. 

 “And why is that?” A slight tilt to his head. 

 I opened my mouth to speak and only a small noise came out as words failed me. 

 “Don't be shy,” his voice a near purr. Gosh, what was happening right now? 

 

This ethereal, almost godlike being was inches in front of me, so close I could feel the heat of his body, the puff of his slow breaths as it pushed across my skin, and hear every move he made. Every ounce of my resolve was focused into keeping myself level headed, but my mind was going a mile a minute. 

 “Use your words, you had plenty a moment ago.” His purr was hushed now, barely above a whisper. 

 “What are you doing?” I breathed out the question, daring to look into his eyes. 

 

“Asking you a question,” he said as though there were absolutely nothing else of note, especially as his free hand came to rest on the railing on the other side of me, effectively caging me in. I didn't shrink away, but my grip on the railing was so tight, like it was grounding me, my breaths came faster and my heartbeat was in my throat. 

“But my interest is waning,” disappointment, whether mock or not laced his tone, he began to pull back, creating a space between him. 

Perhaps I was feeling incredibly brave, or possibly self destructive, but I was wound tight and there was no fucking way I was letting him push my buttons and then do absolutely nothing. In a swift movement spurred on by adrenaline, or maybe something else I released my hold on the railing and lifted it to his neck, almost relishing in the way he tensed beneath me. 

 Without giving him, or me for that matter, time to react, I pulled him with as much force as I could muster, pushing myself to meet him in the middle and press my lips to his. 

 For a second there was no reaction from him, which had me worrying that perhaps I'd been reading the room completely wrong. But then, I felt the subtle way his lips curved against mine before he returned the gesture, lips melding to mine firmly as he swiftly took control of the situation, his hand raising to the back of my own head, gloved fingers digging into my scalp. 

Whether a bold or stupid move, it was delicious. The force of it, powerful and demanding, was a delightful release of tension, though a different kind began to build in the core of me. He grabbed the hair at the back of my head, sharply pulling, breaking away as a gasp shoved past my lips, my throat bared to him as he looked down at me, I looked back, eyes half lidded as they met his. 

 “This is an interesting development,” the low rumble of his voice spoken against my neck. 

 “Passes the time,” I breathed, my voice sounding almost unlike my own. 

 “Perhaps Lazard should loosen that collar of yours more often,” he murmured, finishing the sentence with a sharp nip at my neck.

 “Why, so you can fit one of your own?” His irises flared and he was back on me in an instant, a kiss so rough and insisting it stole my breath, he stole my breath as he searched my mouth relentlessly with his tongue, pressing down on me. 

 I was long past the point of caring about the moral standpoint, the lift could move at any moment, I didn't care. Was there surveillance? I didn't care. All I cared about was the intense feeling of him, mirrored by the intense feeling building inside me, reverberating along every nerve in my body. 

 My hand that remained on the railing grasped at one of the straps on his chest, before winding up around his neck, the nails of my other hand biting into his neck. He pulled his lips away from mine, pupils blown totally wide as he smirked down at me. 

 “Viscous,” he hissed against my mouth. 

 He moved his free, left hand, bringing it to my face, trailing his fingers along my jawline as I struggled to find adequate breath, his thumb ran across my lips, parting them before he pushed it in so slightly. I was shameless as I took it my mouth, fuck I'd let him do anything to me in that moment. 

 “Bite,” a hushed command breathed across the space between us. 

 I did, and he used the force of it to work the glove free, repeating with his index finger, and then his ring finger, where the glove finally came from his hand. He roughly took it from my lips, tucking it away Gaia only knows where. Had I just pulled Sephiroth's glove off with my teeth? 

He kissed me again then, there was no emotion, but there was passion, driven by a festering need to consume, it was hard and taking. As our lips were locked his hands travelled down, past my waist and hips to hook beneath the curve of my rear, hoisting me effortlessly up to perch on the railing, legs either side of his hips. A noise somewhere between a mewl and a gasp was swallowed by him as he maneuvered me. 

 He pushed my legs as wide as he could, his lips still ravaging mine as his hand slid between us, unceremoniously up my skirt where he wasted no time pushing my underwear aside roughly to trail his fingers against me. I jolted involuntarily at the sudden contact gasping into his mouth as he found the spot I needed him to find, my gasp fading to a muffled moan as he pulled away and my head fell back against the metal wall behind me. 

He pressed two fingers into me at that, no patience or warning and I grasped at him, my head falling forwards onto his shoulder as my stomach tightened, pleasure engulfing every nerve my body had. I could feel his smugness as he held me steady with one hand and undid me with the other, but he had every right to be smug, I was a mewling mess against him. 

 “No wonder he keeps you so close by at all times,” husky words spoken against my hair. 

 “Nn..” I tried to force words out but they were hard to find. 

 “Hmm?” He probed, I knew he was smirking, his tone betrayed him. 

 “I haven't -” a gasp as he pushed particularly deep. 

 “I see no interest in wasting time,” he retreated his hand, I groaned with disappointment. “Patience.” His commanding tone was delightful. 

 The creak of his leather was deafening as he moved, anticipation dragging the moment out, my teeth bit into my lip as I watched him move in the dim light. He was marvellous. 

I had no time to lament, his hand roughly grabbing my hip as he lined himself up and pushed himself into me in one swift motion that tore a sound from my throat that was so guttural I'd never heard a sound quite like it. A quiet grunt left him and the coupled feeling of the sound and feeling of him sent a wave of sensation through me. 

 “You were saying?” He punctuated each word with a rough snap of his hips. 

 “I've not -” moan, “Lazard.”

 “Oh? I'm not sure I believe you.” His voice was strained, low, rough. 

 “Ask him then,” I hissed as coherently as I could manage, which was difficult because I could feel myself unwinding around him. 

 “What do you think he'll say, if I were to tell him?” He grabbed my chin forcefully and forced my eyes to his as he spoke in that gravelly voice which was doing as much to me as the friction below. 

 “I don't care,” I gasped the words out as he went particularly hard. 

 “Good, because neither do I,” he smirked before diving his lips down to take mine yet again, dominating me in every way he was able to. 

 It was hard and fast, efficient in the most delightful way as he took me against the railing of the elevator. My body peaked quickly, a rush of sensations filling every sense as I felt the heat that coiled in me dissipate in waves across my being. He swallowed every wanton gasp, moan and groan that left me as my swift conclusion came to a peak, his ever present smirk shaped against my lips. 

 I felt like I had fallen into a pool of bliss as he pulled his lips from mine. My head falling onto his shoulder as he continued his ravenous onslaught, hips snapped into mine without restraint, his movement becoming more erratic the more tightly he was wound. With one, final deep thrust he tensed as the breath pushed from his lips carried a low groan. I opened my eyes to experience the look on his face as he finished, lips parting as his eyes, intense and glowing, met mine. 

 What a sight he was, as he came undone around me. 

 

The tension in his shoulders fell away with each deep breath he took through parted lips, his head dropped forwards. His lack of composure didn't last long, his body going rigid for a short second before his head raised, he pulled away from me, leaving me empty. To my surprise, he adjusted my underwear, pulled my skirt down, then turned to adjust himself.

As he turned back to me, he was the picture of normality, expression returned to indifference, although his lips quirked upwards slightly as he took me in, unmoved, unchanged breaths still shallow and deep. I was wordless as my gaze followed him, what did I say? We were still stuck here, after all, a thought that had been a distant memory a few moments ago. 

 

“Now that was interesting,” his voice was quiet as he spoke and I couldn't help but huff a laugh in response. “Perhaps I'll ask Lazard to lend you to me on occasion.” He mused, I relaxed at his words. 

 

“Lend me,” I snorted, following him with my gaze as he moved to stand next to me again, resuming his original stance leant against the railing. He pulled his glove from where he'd tucked it into his belt and slid it over his hand. “I don't belong to him.” 

 “You may as well.” He quipped as he craned his neck to meet my eyes at the exact moment the lights flicked on and the elevator jolted into action. “Adequate timing,” he mused, his face settling to standard neutrality. 

 As the lift descended I composed myself, checking for abnormalities in the mirror. Finding nothing obvious, I too settled against the railing, stealing a glance at him as the floors dropped on the display and the doors opened with a chiming ding. 

 “See you around I guess,” I tried to be as nonchalant as possible as I pushed away from the railing and strode towards the door. 

 “Oh, you can be sure of that.” His low quiet voice sounded as he followed me out. 

 I should have felt dirty and used. But in actuality, I felt elated. A turn of events that should have been mortifying, had in fact turned my day from a horrible mess, into a horrible mess with a very enjoyable conclusion. 

 I'd been railed by Sephiroth in a lift and it had been incredible. 

 There aren't many better ways to end a day, if you ask me. 

[ranaissingle]

Whispers and Melodies

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: She has heard a deep melodic voice speaking to her from a far away place for decades. Anything from snippets of a longer conversation to roars that shook the very earth she walked on.

Rating: T (for now)

Pairing: Rhysand x Reader

A cup of tea sat cooling on the window sill of a small cottage on the outskirts of the Day Court. The quaint home overlooked a large river delta with roiling waters whose waves flowed into an ocean only a stone's throw away. Inside the cottage sat a girl gazing into the night sky while she forgot all of the day's troubles. 

The healer had spent the entire day tending to patients from the village near her cottage. It was a quaint town whose community was close-knit and small. It had taken the townspeople a while to grow accustomed to her but as the years had come and gone, they had opened up to each other. Her skills as a healer also aided in this endeavor. But despite how much she enjoyed her dealings with the townspeople, her favorite part of her job was the research that it allowed. At the end of a hard day of treating her patients, she could lock herself up in her office and lose herself in the formulas and ratios she tested in her compounds. 

Y/N padded over to her small kitchen, mug in hand, and placed it into her sink before walking toward her research room and locking the door behind her.

She always thought of her research room as a safe haven. The vials full of various substances that she had been testing littered her desk along with her carefully taken notes about the contents and phase changes of each substance on her log book. Her most recent project had been to synthesize some type of blood clotting or replenishing potion that would allow her to administer it to a patient who was more likely to die of blood loss before she even had the chance to solve any of their injuries. A potion like this would allow her ample time to stitch up any wound or brew some other cure for poisons and the like. 

Her current issue consisted of not being able to stabilize the potion for long-term storage. The fennel root and crushed carrowfish shell she’d added seemed to be slowly decomposing each other which made the potion essentially useless after more than 4 days of storage. The trials she was running right now attempted to add some honey which slowed the reaction process as well as introduced some antimicrobial properties to the potion. 

Y/N quickly jotted down the physical changes in appearance and consistency of each of the test tubes with varying amounts of honey. Each testing glass contained more honey than the last. Whichever combination yielded the best preservation and overall effectiveness is the ratio that she would begin perfecting. 

Y/N stayed in her laboratory until she felt her eyes begin to strain and her feet start to ache. She carefully placed all of her measuring tools and weights back onto her working table before she exited the room and made her way to the front door of her cottage. She undid all 3 locks and tugged the large oak door open with both her hands. 

In the distance, she saw a figure. A male it seemed; lying on the ground as the ocean lapped at his skin and crusted it in dried salt. The setting sun gleamed against him and warmed his pale skin in a sheen of gold that she thought suited him much more than the sickly pallor he seemed to have. Most people tended to steer clear of her section of the beach out of some deeply engrained paranoia of outsiders. But this male seemed to have missed that particular message.

Rhysand had known he had been fooled the moment he stepped into the ballroom on that fateful day. Amaranth had promised a ball in celebration of the many alliances she had made as well as an apology to those she had wronged. Rhysand had gone to the ball purely for formalities' sake. He had always loathed these types of false pretenses that the upper echelon of fae had always insisted on perpetuating. Nonetheless, he had dragged himself out of his court that afternoon and appeared at this ball. His own cowardice to refuse Amarantha’s invitation had resulted in 50 years of extortion, rape, and violence that despite his centuries of experience, he could not seem to shake the black cloud that it had cast over him. 

Feyre being his mate was not something he had seen coming nor was it something he wanted. Tamlin would treat her well, she cared for all of his people and he would care for Feyre Rhys was sure. Despite his freedom, Rhysand could not bring himself to go to his home in Velaris. His family was likely waiting for him to return but they would all know exactly what had happened to him as soon as he stepped in the door. He did not wish to deal with their horrified faces and pitying looks once they found out. So instead, he wandered. 

He wandered around lands both Night Court and Day. He walked and flew so far that he ended up somewhere on a coastline. Rhys has no idea where he had landed but he didn't seem to care that he was likely lost. So as the sun set, he continued a slow walk along the cliffside coast and eventually down onto the sandy beaches. The sun sunk further into the horizon leaving only the gleaming light of a cottage in the far-off distance. As Rhys drew closer, he noticed a crop garden with some vegetables and herbs growing on the plot off to the side of the house and a water well located up a hill. Rhysand was tired. He was tired of walking, of flying, of breathing even. He just wanted to rest. He wanted to sleep on a soft bed and not have to think about anything at all, not be worried that one wrong move would result in the death of everyone he had ever loved. So he made his way closer to the cottage before sitting on the wet sand closest to the water and stretching out his long legs. The water lapped at his feet and calves, almost as if it was slowly pulling away all the tension that wound itself in his legs. He stared out at the ocean for what seemed like an eternity. Rhysand got lost in the repetitive movements of the water and the slowly setting sun in the distance casting beautiful colors on the waters and sand. 

When he eventually woke up from what felt like an eternity of slumber, he was not nestled in the sand as he had expected. Instead, he was cushioned underneath with quilts and pillows, and on top of him lay thick blankets to combat the morning chill that often accompanied this time of the year. The room itself looked lived in, to say the least. Canvas’ and embroidery projects were pinned to the wall in various positions. Everything from people to landscaping were inscribed into the wall. Pages that appeared to be ripped out of books with certain lines underlined also adorned the cedarwood walls. The entire room smelled of something woody and calm that Rhysand couldn't quite a place. He stretched up from his lying position and slowly removed the layers of quilts and blankets from him. His legs felt sore and ached from the hours of walking he had done the day before. He tried to stretch his wing muscles but they also ached from their overuse. He hadn't flown in decades, yet he had taken to the sky’s as soon as he could as if he had never left the great blue expanse. He now felt his lack of practice as he tried to rotate his shoulders and ease the aches that had rooted themselves in his back. 

A shuffle from outside the door had Rhysand snapping his neck towards the door. He slowly lifted himself off the bed, careful to make sure none of the wooden beams snapped. He paced towards the door and stuck his ear against the wood grain to listen for any further movements. He was listening to the slicing of metal that would indicate a weapon the characteristic heavy footfalls that usually indicated a warrior of some capacity. Instead, he heard sharp cutting noises blunted by a wooden board, the shuffle of lithe feet, and the soft humming of a female. 

Hello everyone! It has been too long! So many things have happened in the last months and I can't wait to get back into the groove of posting multiple-part stories.

[skellymom]

"AMBER EYES" CHAPTER 2

Bad Batch TECH Fan Ficlet x NON-GENDERED READER

A story of HOPE for Tech Fan's: Resident of Pabu unlocks a secret even THEY weren't aware they had access to!

Word Count: 800

Rated: SAFE for EVERYONE! ENJOY!!!

The stars whiz by the windscreen as I lay on the bunk in the dimly lit ship.  Echo is at the helm.  He brought transport since the Marauder was destroyed. 

I’m exhausted. 

It’s been months since my FIRST contact with Tech.  Since then, I’ve only gotten snippets of sensory information: by sight, sound, feel.  I can still feel him breathing...it’s been the only constant since that day on Pabu.  Like we’re sharing the same breath.  

The goggles are no longer needed for me to reach out to Tech.  Omega still brought them along “just in case”.  There are times I can concentrate while awake to experience what he is experiencing.  But most times it happens during the night, when sleep pulls my guard down. 

And, because of that I don’t sleep for very long. 

Crosshair says I talk in my sleep...and it sounds JUST LIKE his brother.  He’s tried to elicit a conversation, but without me being conscious it goes nowhere. 

“Found some muscle relaxers.  That should help you sleep.”  Hunter kneels with a canteen, dropping two tablets into my hand. 

“Thanks” Swallowing the meds. 

“Here” He also hands me a ration bar “They’ll tear up your stomach if you don’t eat.” 

“You’re such a DAD” I kid. 

“You’re a part of this family, too” Hunter smiles and it reaches his eyes.  I can also see a bit of concern in them.  “Of course we’ll take care of you.” 

He pats my shoulder, stepping away as Wrecker approaches. 

“Ya ready?” Cracks the knuckles of his large hands. 

I nod as he sits behind me on the bunk and CAREFULLY massages my head, temple, ears.  The man has hands that could EASILY crush my skull... 

...but his fingers are so gentle.  He eases away the tension as I chew on the ration bar. 

Soon the meds, food, and Wrecker’s massage take effect.  I’m feeling extremely comfortable.  There’s a conversation going on between Hunter, Echo, and Crosshair...I’m catching small snippets... 

“Concerned about ______.  Too much for one person to bear.”  Hunter empathizes with my plight.  He UNDERSTANDS all too well. 

Echo’s voice chimes in “Yeah, all the leads just wind up being dead ends.  Not sure how much longer we...THEY can keep going...” 

Crosshair grits his teeth and worriedly runs his hand over his stubbly head.  His silver hair growing back.  He feels IMMENSE guilt.  Both he and Wrecker have already openly argued about the mission that took Tech’s life... 

They almost came to blows.  It made Omega cry. 

Hunter and Echo broke it up, putting them both in temporary “Time Out.” 

They eventually made up...well Wrecker did.  Crosshair just stared at the floor like a whipped dog. 

Crosshair says something...but it’s lost as I fall asleep with Wrecker’s hands in my hair... 

The warmth and comfort immediately torn away from me... 

I...WE are laying in the cold wet mud...of SOME world...rain coming down in sheets. 

There’s a body next to...us... 

A dead rebel soldier.  His eyes are wide open, glazed over...mud and rain splattered upon his body where he fell... 

We...Tech...is CRAWLING through the mud.  Attempting to escape?  I can FEEL his respiratory effort as he DRAGS himself through the wet mess.  He manages to pull himself with his arms several feet before falling back into the mud...utterly exhausted... 

The hard patter of rain upon his body.  He’s shivering.  His body temperature is dropping...he’s becoming TIRED, struggling to keep both eyes open...only a matter of time before hypothermia sets in... 

Please...don’t LEAVE me... 

He’s addressing...ME!  I can FEEL it!!! 

I’m SHOCKED.  This is the FIRST time he’s spoken to me... 

Yes...I KNOW you’re there.  He answers breathlessly.  Took me some time to ascertain...you are using Remote Viewing... 

I push to find my voice... 

WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!  I blurt out Hunter, Crosshair, Echo, Wrecker, and Omega are with me!  We... 

Tell them to abort their mission! Tech cuts me off. 

NO!  Where ARE YOU??? 

The Empire WILL find you all.  It is NOT safe...  He sighs HEAVILY I wish to see them all again...but NOW is not the time... 

...and...I...am not the man I once was... 

A ship lands several meters away.  Its crew jumps down into the mire, slogging towards...Tech...US.  He is grabbed up by several hands and hauled to the ship...into it...the crew starts basic first aid... 

Thank you for keeping me awake...and ALIVE...if not for YOU, I would have expired.  PLEASE, keep my brothers and sister safe... 

And with that, Tech CUTS contact with me... 

...I SLINGSHOT VIOLENTLY back to Echo’s ship! 

I BOLT upright in the bunk.  Wrecker has a mild heart attack with the suddenness of my action. 

I’m SCREAMING something over and over... 

Tech thought he could prevent me from finding him... 

But I managed to catch a glimpse with HIS OWN EYES...the ship’s hull... 

“DELIVERANCE!  TRANSPONDER CODE 00155268!!!” 

EVERYONE is running towards me... 

“DELIVERANCE!  TRANSPONDER CODE 00155268!!!” 

I can only stare DIRECTLY into Echo’s eyes... 

“DELIVERANCE!  TRANSPONDER CODE 00155268!!!” 

They widen.  He SMILES.  Immediately Echo sets to work with his ship’s computer... 

CHAPTER 3 TO BE POSTED SHORTLY!

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[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

This Is Kinda Nice Too (4)

So it's been a while since I posted for this prompt, but I was looking through some unfinished fics and stumbled across this. Hoping to now move this fic into my 'finished' folder, so here we are. Previous parts are linked below for context but can be read as a stand alone.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

~*~

“I gotta ask a favour,” says Melissa as she sits in her usual seat at she and Barb’s table.  “Dessert.  I’m just not gonna have time.” 

Barb’s eyebrows raise as the red head starts to reel off all of the prep she needs to do for your dinner date.  “Girl, you have got to calm down.  The girl isn’t expecting a five star banquet.  She’s going to be giddy over the fact she’s spending time with you, not nitpicking at your food.”

Melissa rolls her eyes.  “That was all fun in the forest but this is real.  I just wanna do this right.”

“You’re not going to be able to relax and enjoy yourself if all you’re worrying about is the food,” points out the kindergarten teacher. 

“I’m not worrying about the food!” exclaims the red head.  “Just the lack of time to make the food…and the dessert.”

With a sigh, Barb finally concedes.  “Fine, I’ll make dessert, but you owe me!”

*

Friday after school finds Melissa in the doorway to your classroom.  “Hey.  Just wanted to check you’re still good for tomorrow?”

“Seven o’clock sharp,” you grin.  “I can’t wait.  Is there anything I can bring?”

You watch as she pushes off the doorframe, sauntering up to you and effectively stealing your breath in the process. 

“How about you and that cute smile?” she smirks, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, and acting far braver than she feels. 

“I can do that,” you say quietly, your grin only widening. 

*

Standing outside Melissa’s door, you take a deep breath, loosening your death grip on the flowers you brought.  You know she had said you didn’t need to bring anything, but you couldn’t just turn up empty handed.  And if you’d also picked up a little box of the chocolates you knew Melissa liked, well, you were only being polite. 

Knocking on the now familiar door, you feel your heart rate increase at the sound of approaching footsteps from within.  As the door is opened to reveal the red head, you can’t help but let your eyes wander over her curves.  “You look amazing,” you tell her as she steps back to allow you in.  “Even more than usual.”

Her cheeks pink in a blush as you hold out the flowers to her, smiling as she shyly takes them.

“I told you you didn’t have to bring anything.”

“I was hardly going to turn up empty handed to our first date,” you smile. 

She ducks her head.  “I’m gonna go fix these, you know where the coats go.”  Leaving you to hang up your bag and coat, she retreats to the kitchen, trying to calm her nerves as she opens up the flowers and sets them in a vase.  She looks up as you enter the kitchen.  “You scrub up pretty well yourself.”

“Had a good reason to put in some effort,” you reply, putting the chocolates you had brought down by the vase of flowers. 

She frowns.

“Just in case my sweet smile wasn’t quite cutting it,” you shrug.

“These are my favourites,” she says quietly as she looks more closely at the box.  Not some dollar store number or some last-minute purchase from the corner store. 

“Well I wasn’t going to bring you ones you don’t like.”

She closes the space between you, her fingers skimming down your arms before pulling you into a hug.  “Thank you.”  She pulls back, blinking to try and hide the tears that have gathered in your eyes at how thoughtful you’ve been.  “Now, you go sit and I will get things plated up.”

*

Dinner is better than you could have hoped.  The table is set with candles, casting the room in a romantic light and making Melissa’s hair glow.  It reminds you of that first night by the fire, when things started to shift between the two of you.  The conversation and laughter flows between you, and you realise although you’ve had a crush on her forever, you couldn’t have done this all those months ago.  The friendship that’s grown between the two of you has allowed you to be you with her.

Her eyes tear up as you tell her as much.  “It’s been a two way street, kid.  You’ve never made me feel like I had to be anyone else with you, like who I was wasn’t enough,” she admits feeling brave in the face of your admission.  “There are…things I usually hide when I meet people.  Things you learned and you didn’t pity me, think less of me.”

“Why would I think any less of you for anything I’ve learned about you?” you frown.  “You’re amazing.  And I mean that.  You are…so strong and capable and just…amazing,” you finish.  “And I should say beautiful too.” 

Cheeks once again flushed from more than just the heat, she stands from the table, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as she passes your chair.  “Got room for dessert?”

You close your eyes at the brief contact, a smile on your lips.  You don’t make to follow her, giving her a few moments to herself.  “Always,” you tell her.  “You know I have a sweet tooth.”

When she returns, she places a plate down in front of you.  You frown, looking down at the plate.  You know Melissa.  You know her cooking, and this, this doesn’t look like it.  “This doesn’t feel like a Schemmenti recipe.”  That wasn’t to say, however, it didn’t taste good.

“That’s because it’s a Barbara Howard special,” answers the red head.  “Honestly, that woman is a whizz at baking.”

“You told Barb about this?” you ask, this somehow catching you by surprise. 

“Sweetie, Barb has had to put up with me having a breakdown over the menu, my timings, my prep, the whole nine yards the whole week,” laughs Melissa.

“I didn’t realise,” you breathe, feeling guilty at the fact you’d somehow missed her semi-permanent state of panic.  “Sorry!  I wanted this to be fun for you too.”

She smiles sweetly at you.  “It has been.  I just…wanted to make it special.”

You put your spoon down.  “Melissa, I meant it when I said this could be pizza and beers and it would be special to me, because it’s you.  This has been great, and I feel like I’ve been treated like a queen, but you know I don’t need all this, right? I was happy sitting in the middle of the woods holding your hand.”

For what feels like the hundredth time that night, Melissa finds herself blushing.  She had been happy sitting in the middle of the woods holding your hand too.  “If you wanna date me, you gotta live with me being a little extra sometimes.”

You grin back at her across the table.  “Oh, I’m good with that.  And yes, just to be clear, I do wanna date you.  Properly.”

 Helping clear the plates after dessert you both move to the sofa to finish your wine.  The wine glasses are quickly forgotten on the table, however, as her lips find yours.  As her hands clutch you to her, you’re in heaven.  Her lips find your neck and you realise you’re done for. 

She pulls back as a whimper leaves your throat, her pupils blown as she takes you in.  You’re flushed and panting.  “I barely touched you,” she breathes in awe.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” you reply.

She smirks.  “Know what I’d like to do to you.”

This has you both blushing.  She takes your hands, linking your fingers together.  “I want this.  You.  All of it, but I don’t want to rush things.”

“Baby steps?”

“Maybe not quite that slow and innocent,” she smirks, leaning in to kiss you once more.  “Stay?” she asks, the word whispered against your lips as she rests her forehead against your own.  “I want to share an actual bed with you.”

*

Upstairs, you take turns in the bathroom.  You find yourself smiling at your reflection in the mirror as you brush your teeth.  The borrowed oversized sleep shirt you wear is soft and worn.  You’ve stayed over at Melissa’s house before, but in the guest room in your own nightwear.  This is a whole new level of intimacy.

Turning the light off as you leave the bathroom, you find the red head already in bed.  Slipping beneath the covers, there’s a polite distance between the two of you as you regard each other in the dim streetlight filtering through the gap in the curtains.  Finally, Melissa breaks the silence with a sigh and a rolling of her eyes.  She shuffles across the mattress until she can curl into your side, much as she did that night in the woods. 

“Tell anyone I’m a koala and I’ll have to kill you,” she mumbles against your chest.

You can’t help but laugh at the half-hearted threat.  “Worth it.”

She leans up and glares at you in the dim light. 

In return, you push yourself up to press a kiss to her lips.  “Fine, my lips are sealed so long as you promise to keep putting yours on them.”

“Deal,” she smiles, pressing one last lingering kiss to your lips before settling back against your chest. 

*

The next morning you’re woken by Melissa’s message tone.  She grumbles incoherently as she blindly reaches for the device on her bedside table.  Locating the offending item, she brings it close to her face where she can see it.  “Barb,” she informs you, turning the phone so you can read the screen.

Still sleepy and warm, even this small action makes you smile.  That she’s comfortable enough to let you read the message from her friend.  Barb is asking how the night went.  “I’d say it went pretty well.”  So you got to wake up with Melissa at an actual bed, but it appeared Barb was still to be your alarm.

Melissa’s lips curl up in a smile.  “Yeah, it did.”  She taps the screen of her phone, holding it above the two of you and taking a picture.  Bringing her phone back down, you both look at the screen, at how happy you both look, curled up together.  “You okay if I send this?”

“Long as you are,” you reply, pressing a kiss to the top of her head where she rests against your shoulder.  Everything is covered and you’re both in PJ’s.  It’s almost tasteful. 

The reply that comes back is quick.  Melissa laughs at the almost expected prudish reply.  She types out a reply, telling Barb to look at the picture again and take her mind out of the gutter.  A few moments later, her phone chimes again.

This time, she smirks, turning the phone to allow you to see it more easily.  You read the typed words, saying you both look very happy and she hopes you enjoy dessert.  You frown at the tense.  Barb is usually very particular in what she says.  “Is she?”

“Implying what you think she is?” laughs the red head.  “I think she might be.”  She tosses her phone back on the bedside table, shifting until she can look up at you, her chin resting on your shoulder.  “Morning.”

“Morning,” you smile.

“You know,” she drawls.  “This.  Waking up with you in an actual bed.  This is kinda nice too.”

“Careful,” you warn, taking in her face in the early morning light, her curls spilling messily over her shoulders.  “A girl could get used to it.”

A soft smile tugs at her lips.  “Maybe she should?”

[botanicalsword]

Indicator for Entrepreneurs

In today’s landscape, personal branding, self-promotion, and networking have become significantly more accessible, thanks to the metaverse. 

We find ourselves interconnected in myriad ways; however, this connectivity often leads to a self-centered focus, where the aspiration to become influencers and promote our own products and services takes precedence.

Yet, we must not overlook the essence that establishing a successful business requires strong networks (11th House). This means delivering real value to those who engage with our services while simultaneously addressing their emotional, physical, and practical needs and desires.

Businesses are constantly seeking new ways to engage with their audience.

Some examples of digital business that related to the astrological placements:

Impressions (Venus, 1st House, Chart ruler)

Engagement (7th House, 11th House, Mercury)

Content creating (Mercury, 3rd House, 9th House)

Storytelling (Mercury, 3rd House, 4th House, 5th House, Neptune, Uranus)

Digital marketing strategy (Uranus, Jupiter, 9th House, 11th House)

Metrics eg. engagement, click-through rates, conversion (Saturn, 2nd House, 10th House)

Cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset is important for navigating this journey.  To thrive as an entrepreneur, one must be decisive and possess a holistic perspective. Without an open mind and a sharp, analytical approach, it becomes increasingly challenging to realize their vision and achieve lasting success.

✧

Certain astrological houses play a pivotal role:

1st house - the self and self-awareness - with prominent placement, they often resist being controlled by others, thriving instead on independence.

8th house  - resources and financing - the ability to leverage others' resources or collaborate in business endeavors.

10th house - career aspirations and the broader vision necessary for success. Entrepreneurs must possess a grand perspective to navigate their ventures effectively.

✧ Some key astrological indicators for aspiring entrepreneurs:

Strong10th House (Sun/ Moon in 10th House / 10th House Stellium) - strong drive for success and a deep desire to achieve - find entrepreneurship more appealing than traditional employment

10th House ruler in 1st House - a powerful ambition - Those with influential planets in their chart often strive for independence in their careers, leading to a respected and prestigious professional life - Leadership roles may also suit you well

1st House ruler in 10th House - highly ambitious, with dreams of fame and success. Your ideas or decision may frequently revolve around becoming a business owner and achieving personal recognition.

Saturn in the 1st House - face challenges in life but possess a strong sense of responsibility. Through relentless effort and determination, they strive to prove their worth to the world. With their unwavering willpower and diligent work ethic, achieving success is almost inevitable.

Strong 8th House (Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter / 8th House Stellium) - an ability to access resources easily - excel in securing funding and attracting investments, which can significantly enhance their chances of entrepreneurial success.

Strong 11th House / 11th House Stelium - strong social connections and a supportive network - with good relationships and abundant resources, you’ll find that others are eager to assist you in your endeavors. >> Career • what kind of content creator are you?

✧

>> Career • work a job or start a business? ✧ Natal Chart Observation >> Career • A Sudden Change - What Happens Next? ✧ Solar Return / Lunar Return >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 1) >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 2)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

[lifesizehysteria]

A Mother's Blessings | A Bridgerton Fic

Part 6: Anthony

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: Gen Pairing: Violet Bridgerton/Marcus Anderson Characters: Violet Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Kate Bridgerton, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton Summary: A collection of moments through Violet and Marcus’ courtship in which Violet seeks the blessings of her children. AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Violet’s body hummed, and as she entered the drawing room after seeing Marcus out, she held her hand against her stomach, her other hand resting on top, as though that might stop her from feeling the absence of his hand in hers. It did not. 

She was hoping to slip into the room unnoticed, where the remaining members of her family were gathered, but she had barely stepped foot inside when five heads turned towards her, their faces a range of emotions from Hyacinth’s bright, expectant smile to Anthony’s glowering scowl. 

“Back from your stroll, Mother?” Anthony asked pointedly.

“Mhmm.” Violet smiled at him, stubbornly holding onto the giddiness she was still feeling. 

“With Lord Anderson?” Hyacinth asked as she dashed over to her mother, her hands clasped under her chin and curls bouncing around her smiling face.

Violet looked down at her, blinking in bewilderment. “Yes, but… How did you know?” She had only mentioned at breakfast that she would be going to the gardens, not that she would be accompanied. 

“We saw you in the garden through the window,” Gregory said from his seat beside Benedict. 

“Oh, yes, of course,” Violet said with an awkward laugh, her smile returning to her face while her gaze darted around the room and heat rose to her cheeks. Her mind immediately wondered just what they had seen, but she pushed the thought away. It was no matter. What was done, was done.

“You are looking quite flushed, Mother,” Benedict said, his eyes dancing with mischief. 

Violet’s head whipped towards him, daggers of warning in her eyes.

Benedict laughed outright, looking nonplussed as he crossed one leg over the other, clasping his hands around his knee as he tilted his most charming smile at her.

“It must have been rather vigorous. The stroll, I mean.”

Violet could feel her whole body blushing, but she refused to be embarrassed about such matters, by her own son, no less. She was an adult, and there was nothing she had to feel ashamed of.

“That is none of your business,” she said, attempting to sound blasé but coming across much more curt than intended.

Benedict, bordering on gleeful at having clearly ruffled her feathers, said, “Perhaps next time I shall insist on chaperoning.”

“Benedict Bridgerton!”

Before her admonishment was even complete, Anthony shoved his way out of his chair, making Violet turn, her mouth hanging open in shock as she watched him thunder from the room.  

Kate prepared to stand, but Violet gestured for her to sit back down. She offered her daughter-in-law a tender glance, one hand coming to rest just over her sternum. 

“I believe it would be best for me to handle this one.”

Kate bowed her head, and Violet offered her a reassuring smile before turning a glare fit for murder on her second son.

Benedict showed no remorse, offering only a self-congratulatory grin in return before his mother swept from the room. 

Her footsteps echoed down the hall as she approached Anthony’s study. She paused for a moment outside the wooden door, collecting herself. The effects of her earlier embrace were still present in her body; her skin still tingled, her cheeks were still flushed, and if she was to be quite honest with herself, she would have much preferred retiring to her chambers to linger in the delight of it for as long as it remained than to have this particular conversation. Her mistake had been returning to the drawing room at all. 

Unfortunately, this situation had been brewing for weeks now, and it seemed, between what occurred with Marcus outside the garden, and the way Anthony responded to even a suggestion of intimacy between them, it required her immediate attention. 

After a few deep breaths, she knocked on the door but did not wait for an answer before pushing it open. 

“Anthony?” she called, closing the door behind her and crossing into the room. 

“Mother, I am busy,” her son said, sitting at his desk with nary a quill nor a sheet of paper in sight. His eyes were fixed on the portrait of his father above the mantle. 

“I think it is time we talked.”

“I do not wish to talk. I wish to—”

“To brood?”

“I am not brooding,” he insisted.

“Forgive me,” she said with a soft chuckle. “I must have been fooled by the furrow in your brow and the jaw clenched to the point it might require a surgeon to loosen.” Violet watched as her son jutted out his jaw and worked it back and forth for a moment. “Perhaps you are simply in need of some rest.”

“I do not require rest.”

“Then what is it you do require?”

“What I require is to know what you are doing with that man!” The way he was nearly seething took Violet by surprise, though she concealed it, aside from her eyes widening ever so slightly. 

“If you must know,” she said with a subtle lift of her chin, “I am enjoying his company.”

Anthony spun his head, panic stricken as he searched his mother’s face for the meaning behind her words. Finding no evidence of sincerity behind the double entendre, and, in fact, seeing the slightest hint of a cheeky smile on her face, he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I am to leave with Kate to India in three days' time. How am I to leave you here alone, knowing such a man is pursuing you?”

“Well, I think the easiest way is for you to simply get onto the ship before it leaves,” Violet shrugged, determined not to get pulled into his dramatics.

Anthony looked at her without a glint of humor. Despite herself, Violet pursed her lips, feeling the edge of irritation setting in. 

“I am a grown woman, Anthony. I do not need you to chaperone me. I am quite capable.”

“I do not doubt you, Mother. It is him I do not trust. He is a rake.”

“He had a reputation in his youth, yes. Not unlike your reputation, as recently as last season.”

“That is not the same.”

“It is not any different. You are now blissfully wed, expecting your first child, and you could not be further from the young man you were before marrying Kate. Marcus—Lord Anderson,” she felt a flush rise to her cheeks at the slip, “is no different. Indeed, he was married, he raised his children, he has done his duty and he, like you, does not deserve to be judged purely by the character of his past.”

Anthony flexed his jaw, his eyebrows furrowing again as he stared down at his desk. When Violet tried to catch his gaze, he averted it even further away. 

“My dear boy,” she said as gently as she could given her current frustration, “what is really troubling you?” 

“I have told you,” he grumbled. 

“Yes, and a simple conversation between you and Lord Anderson would have put such a concern to rest, so I do not believe that is truly what troubles you.”

Anthony refused to look at her, looking remarkably like the toddler who used to pout about not getting extra dessert. 

Waiting, she clasped her hands in front of her waist, and when he did not answer, she closed her eyes and heaved a sigh.

“Is this to be the way we leave things, then? Before you depart to India for heaven knows how long?” she asked, disappointment coloring her words.

“What do you want me to say, Mother?”

“I want you to tell me what is causing you such distress about my involvement with a gentleman who is more than honorable, when no declaration has even been made.” Her voice remained low, her steady calm a contrast to his rising, barely contained tension. “Honestly, Anthony, you act as though I am some naive girl in need of protection and not your mother who has been Lady of this house longer than you have been alive. What I should like is for you to be honest with me, so that we might sort through the matter and move on.” 

Anthony stretched his hand that had been balled in a fist on his desk. Beneath Violet’s expectant stare, he flexed his jaw again, jutting it out as he closed his eyes and tipped his head to one side. Finally, he opened his eyes again, looking back up to Edmund’s portrait on the wall. 

“You have always said that Father was the love of your life. That he was the greatest love you would ever know.” His voice was quiet but tense with a hint of something in it. Hurt? Accusation? Both, perhaps? Violet could not quite tell just yet.

“He is,” she said plainly. 

“And yet you allow another man to court you.”

“Well, it is not as if your father is here to do it,” she said with a dry laugh.

Anthony did not laugh. He grew very still and spoke with a deathly seriousness. “If Kate died, I would never replace her.” 

Violet’s mouth fell open slightly and she blinked, taken aback. “Is that what you believe I am doing? Replacing your father?”

When he looked at her, beneath the anger ready to brim over, there was hurt in his eyes. “Is it not?”

Violet bit her lip, studying his face for a moment before coming to perch herself on the edge of his desk.

“I realize that you do not understand, and it is my sincerest hope that you never will. I pray that you never have to know the pain of losing the person you have built your entire life around, whose existence is so interwoven with yours that their death feels like the death of your very soul.” She paused to breathe, feeling that familiar twinge of pain in her chest. After a moment, it dissipated, and she was able to continue. “But if you had, you would understand that that kind of love is impossible to replace, and that even if it were possible, I would never choose to do so.”

Anthony scoffed. “And yet, you allow another man to court you. You are right, Mother. I do not understand.”

Violet’s eyebrows drew together, the corners of her mouth tightening just a little. “I carry your father’s love with me, always. I feel it every day–” She stopped, realizing she was telling him something he already knew, defending against some ill-conceived accusation that was an excuse for his hurt feelings and which was utterly unfair to her.

“Anthony, I have spent the last twelve years missing him, turning my grief into an identity worn to honor him, so the world would never forget the incredible man that he was. But I am not made of stone. I cannot spend my entire life as a living memorial, and it is unfair for you to expect me to do so while you get to move on, and find joy and love again.” She looked over her shoulder at the portrait of Edmund, her heart aching just a little more than it usually did these days. A quiet reverence came over her as she turned her gaze back to her son. “Over the last few years I have watched both you and Daphne, and now Colin and Francesca, find love, just as I had hoped for all of you, and it has made me realize just how alone I have felt.”

“You are not alone. We are all here with you.”

“Dearest,” she said, almost laughing, “you know that is not the loneliness I speak of. I see the way you look at Kate, like she is the essence of life itself, and I miss it. If I could have that with your father again, I would choose it. Every time, throughout eternity and long after. But, for whatever reason, that was not the choice that I was given, and I have finally realized that opening myself up to the opportunity of new love does not diminish the love I have, and will always have, for your father.”

“I do not believe you can truly love two people at the same time,” Anthony muttered defensively.

“I can,” she said with certainty, then added softly, “and I do. I am in love with Lord–with Marcus, Anthony, and whether or not you can accept it will not stop it being true.”

He looked up at her, his voice a chilled matter-of-fact, “You are to marry him, then?” 

Violet shrugged. “I do not know. He has not asked, and I do not wish him to. Not yet, anyway. But if he does, and I do accept, I wish to do so with your blessing.”

“Why do you not wish him to ask?” he asked, surprising his mother with genuine curiosity.

“There are many things to consider. One of which is the comfort of my children with the idea.” 

He tilted his head in question. “What do you mean?” 

“I will not have a man, no matter the depths of my feelings for him, cause a rift between any of us. You children are my family, and nothing is more important to me. Any love I have will always come as an addition to that, and if it cannot, then it cannot be.”

Anthony’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You would truly turn him down if one of us did not agree?”

A slightly sad smile pulled across her lips as she reached over and put her hand on top of his. “I am your mother first and foremost. There is nothing I would not sacrifice.”

Anthony grew quiet, his eyebrows drawing together, looking contemplative as he gazed down at her hand clasped over his. When he did not speak again, Violet felt herself growing weary of the conversation. There was nothing left for her to say. The matter was solely at his feet.

She cleared her throat and squeezed his hand before standing. “You do not have to give me an answer now. The question has not even been asked. But I do hope you will consider what I have said, and that you will write to me while you are in India.” 

With one more look at him, she turned and left the room, heading for her chambers where she hoped to be able to recall whatever was left of her embrace with Marcus while trying to ignore the little nagging worry in the back of her mind that it might be the only one they would ever share.

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 12.1 - 50 Shades of Enchantment

MIKO

Rich sims were weird—

—And a little fascinating.

Honestly, it was crazy to wear a $950 simoleon blouse to work, wasn’t it? And did the sims of Glimmerbrook really need a fake apothecary to sell them inert potions and herbs to solve problems that were probably mostly in their minds?

Not that Miko was supposed to be thinking about all this, mind you. She was supposed to be listening to her manager, Gemma Charm, explain how the mixing station worked.

“Are you sure you have experience?” Gemma asks hesitantly.

Miko was sure she’d spent three summers working at Body Oils and Bath Stuff before the Newcrest location closed down. And there was no way mixing fake herbal concoctions was  more advanced than restocking shelves with cheap-smelling shampoos and lotions. “Absolutely. You really don’t have to worry about me. All of this is old hat.”

Gemma nods, “Good. You came highly recommended, and we really need the extra help. Election season politics are sort of running our family’s whole life right now.” She rolls her eyes. “My brother really should be the one helping, but, well, you get it.”

Alice always said her father campaigned year round, so that must be what Gemma was talking about. “I’m just here on a student visa, so I don’t vote, but I think it’s important. I’m just glad to help.”

“You don’t vote?” Gemma gasps. “But it’s compulsory. And anyone with an ancient bloodline or a unique power differential is eligible for the seat, so it would be crazy just to sit it out.”

Compulsory voting? Bloodlines? Windenburg politics sounded Byzantine as shit. Miko used to think she wanted to live here after graduation, but now? It would be a relief to get back Sim Nation West and elect her officials based on normal stuff like half-hearted promises to end corruption and lower tax rates.

“Oh, uh, I don’t really care about that stuff…should we talk about the register?”

Gemma is not content to let the subject drop. “That’s a terrible attitude, Miko. What about your bloodline? Were both your parents casters?”

Thankfully, a customer walks in and saves Miko from having to answer that completely bananas question. Did Gemma mean newscaster? What in the hell about Miko and her half-priced Urbz jeans projected “child of sims who are on TV”?  

Mystified, but curious to learn what kind of crazy shit sims bought from this shop, she listens as Gemma greets their customer and launches into a wholly bizarre conversation about the Full Moon’s effect on mandrakes. 

The woman is nodding along, dressed in what is conservatively a $3000 simoleon outfit. She doesn’t even flinch when Gemma informs her about the price of this year’s crop—$250 simoleons a pound. 

What would it be like to have that kind of money?

“I’ll need a Potion of Good Fortune,” the woman adds. “We want to put an addition onto the house and could use a little more money.”

“Of course,” Gemma smiles, “Miko can help you.” She turns back and gives Miko an encouraging look.

“Happy to help!” Miko says, her smile so wide it feels like her face might crack open.

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(Part 2 of 8)

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[talenlee]

3e: Psychofeedback

In game making we’re often talking about feedback loops. That is the idea that when something happens, in a process, it influences that same process the next time it happens. Feedback in audio is a problem you want to avoid. Feedback in marketing is something you want endlessly so you can always make a new excuse for why you need more feedback before committing to an optimal strategy. Feedback is everywhere in every interaction because if you weren’t getting feedback, you weren’t interacting.

TTRPGs are in many cases built on feedback. In most story-run games, ie, anything with what we call a DM or GM interchangeably unless you’re really persnickety about rules language, the game is fundamentally a feedback loop where that story-runner provides a stimulis and the players respond to and incorporate that feedback. Feedback is not a problem, feedback is the whole experience.

Art Source

That’s not what this is about.

This is about a single specific power in 3e D&D, called Psychofeedback, which was so broken I may have gotten it errata’d.

The rules system is 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons. The book is Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Psionics Handbook by Bruce Cordell and I assume a lot of other people. In this book, we have the power Psychofeedback, and since you’re not in a position to get this book, here’s the relevant rules text, verbatim:

You can use power points to boost your Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution modifiers as a free action. While the duration lasts, you can use power points on a round-by-round basis to boost any or all of your ability score modifiers (not the actual ability score) by a number equal to half the power points you expend for that round as a free action. For example, you can boost your Strength modifier by as much as 8 points (if you spend 16 power points).

That’s the important rules information. It lets you convert psionic power points to stat modifier at a 2:1 rate. Note that it’s not converting to stat points, but to stat modifier. Now, this means you don’t change things like your strength score (relevant for carrying capacity) but your strength modifier (relevant for single acts of strength like breaking objects or attacking people). This was a level 4 power, available for a Psion at level 8, or Psychic Warrior at level 10. It was also, largely, a completely unusable power, as designed, because the conversion rate didn’t really work out very well. It could be useful for a short burst of strength, but you couldn’t, for example, use it to temporarily inflate your hit points, because when your Constitution decreased, you’d lose those hit points you gained first. You could ge tougher, but you’d have to stay spending power points until you were healed. Neat effect but not amazing.

Interesting power, no real application.

Except.

In the same book we have the Mind Feeder weapon property. By level 8-10, it’s very reasonable to expect a character to have access to this weapon, whose rules state:

A mindfeeder weapon grants its wielder temporary power points equal to the total damage dealt by a successful critical hit.

How often do you get critical hits?

In this case, using core rules available items, a scimitar crits on 3 numbers (18, 19, 20). With improved critical, it crits on 6 numbers (adding 15, 16, 17). With Sharpness, it crits on 8 numbers (adding 14 and 13). That means that a mindfeeder weapon could critically hit just under half the time. What this could lead to was a character who dual-wielded small weapons like these and made five attacks a turn at level 10 (because of ubiquitous buff haste).

You can open with a Psychofeedback buff to your attack of, at that level, 26 power points, all you had. That means +13 to your strength modifier, meaning your attack would do something in the district of 1d4+your strength+magical mods+that extra 13 strength. There’s also this feat from the Player’s Handbook called power attack. Power attack let you exchange a penalty on hit for a bonus to your damage rolls. Remember how you spent those 26 power points for a +13 strength modifier? You have therefore, a +13 extra to hit. So without needing to change how likely you are to hit, you’re suddenly getting another +13 extra damage on that attack.

Now double it.

That meant that your first crit, which cost you 26 power points, is going to be like 2.5 dice-roll damage, +1 from the magical weapon, probably, +2 from a totally reasonable base strength mod, +13 from the new strength mod, +13 from power attack, doubled. That’s 63 power points. The next turn, you can turn those 63 power points into strength, for a +31 strength mod. Critting in that turn on five attacks is very reasonably likely, and that gets you 135 power points back. And that’s +67 Strength modifier. That would be equivalent to a strength of 145. While this is going on, your character is stronger than multiple gods of strength, combined.

You have ten rounds to do this, and every single high roll pushes you further ahead. And this is the thing at start; you don’t need to go much further for the wheels to come off this very fast. And this is level ten where you don’t have a lot of ways to build for ridiculous recovery, or forcing more chances to critically hit. Remember, this is a game system that’s meant to scale up past level 20 infinitely!

This is dumb. It’s also 3rd edition so you can even be mobile and do this, haste letting you make a partial charge to close on a new subject and then ginsu it with your full attack. But hey, at least those power points are temporary, so you can’t just spend all your time doing this in every encounter, right? At least you’re not ending every fight on full power points, after having a strength stat somewhere in the triple digits at some point, Right?

Art Source

Normally with these balance problems in the sprawling game system that is Dungeons & Dragons the problem is the intersection of systemic components that were not designed to necessarily know about one another. It’s usually about using parts from two different books, brought together in a way that resulted in something unintentionally powerful. This is different. This is using two things from the same book whose application to one another seems to be pretty reasonably obvious. This is almost as egregious as the problem of the Spelldancer, another 3e all-star with an internal feedback loop that worked with its own features in the most obvious way.

See, the thing is, now Psychofeedback says ‘temporary’ power points. When the book was new, it didn’t say temporary. It didn’t say that and I wrote a treatment on it for the Character Optimisation board showing how the whole thing broke with core material only, and then one of the website writers for the book showed up in the thread and said ‘oh, that shouldn’t work that way.’

Then we got an online errata for the rulebook, and then in the next edition of the book the rule was changed.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!