#2 + 5

[tua-headedcalf]

thinking about how diego is orderly and five is chaotic, but diego craves chaos while five craves order. walk with me here...

i. diego is orderly

in season 4, diego has the white picket fence life with lila. they're the spitting image of midlife domesticity. he values hygiene and precision of details, asks his siblings to take their shoes off in his house and notices the quality of the pinata at his daughter's party. he likes to adhere to routines, as seen in the road trip & his insistence that they keep good on time (you can even argue his delivery route has trained this into him as well). but even before that, he was close to grace as a child, so some of her decorum, tidiness, and organization skills probably rubbed off on him too.

ii. five is chaotic

five, on the other hand, was raised in the apocalypse. he's got no home skills, because he had no home for 75 percent of his life. he's programmed for violence (from the academy's training and the commission's genetic alterations making him the perfect assassin); that's why he's "buzzing after this morning's slaughter" in season 2, excitable against his own will. he's a great assassin, but a messy killer. the only time i can recall him killing someone neatly was grace in season 3: a quick and clean neck snap. you know, grace, who he killed so diego didn't have to.

ok this next part is kind of silly, especially because i'm not a physicist, but hear me out: five's power is an inherently spontaneous process, or a process that occurs without any external energy to help facilitate it. the second law of thermodynamics dictates that a spontaneous process results in an increase in entropy. when removed from any serious or real scientific meaning & instead applied to number five from the umbrella academy, it means that each time he jumps through time or space with the help of nothing but his own powers, he's increasing the amount of entropy/disorder in the universe.

iii. diego craves chaos

i mean. well let's just go in chronological order. he throws himself in harm's way as a vigilante in season 1. he has a huge hero complex, leading him to try & fail to prevent JFK's assassination, which points to his desire to have a greater impact on the world (re: "everyone changes the world, luther"). and if that doesn't spell it out for you enough, he literally wants five's epic job at the CIA and hates his dull, monotonous job as a delivery truck driver. (he also just wants five, but we'll get to that.)

iv. five craves order

again, do i really have to explain this when it's been explicitly illustrated by the show multiple times? i guess i'll summarize: tells klaus he doesn't actually want an apocalypse in season 1 before destroying the glass eyeball. oh he says it so many times in season 3, like wanting to retire, tells lila he doesn't "actually like chaos", tells his old self all he wants to do is buy that damn stingray car. and lastly, he enjoys his quiet domestic life with lila in the strawberry garden. so much so that he delays returning back home to another apocalypse he has to prevent, returning back home to their family.

and i want so badly to say that all of this is why five and diego are made for each other, why they balance one another out and complete each other, how they're everything they've ever wanted, but the truth is:

v. every time they get what they want, it all leads to shit

you know how season 4 episode 1 is titled "the unbearable tragedy of getting what you want"? well that basically sums this post up. every time five obtains order or diego gets a chance at chaos, it yields disastrous results.

in season 3, five gets to retire, but quickly gets pulled out of it when he realizes their existence in that timeline created a grandfather "kugelblitz" paradox. in season 4, he gets a shot at a domestic life, but ruins his brother's marriage, his relationship with diego, and his relationship with lila all in one go.

in season 1, diego finally convinces eudora to try fighting crime his way, bypassing all the red tape of the cop life, but it leads to her murder which he gets arrested for. at the start of season 2, he successfully prevents JFK's assassination, but ends up causing nuclear warfare and killing all of the umbrellas and then some.

ultimately, while five & diego and their desires & their attributes fit together like cookie-cutter puzzle pieces, the puzzle they're a part of is a fucking bomb. and if they click together and get what they want, the world explodes. they're perfect for each other, yet doomed to be apart. they're kind of like ben and jennifer but good if you think about it.

[tua-headedcalf]

PREV SO TRUE ONCE AGAIN!!!

fiego are the epitome of condescending to one another; diego calling five 'kid', 'buddy', 'jerkwad', and five calling diego 'idiot', 'moron', 'bargain batman' (diego is never living that comparison down)

but also them both completely lacking any self-awareness!!!!! five is always so tunnel-visioned, perpetually stuck in a one-track-mind perspective as he laser focuses in on a singular goal. he loses all sight of anything else, including himself! to him, all of his actions read as logical and rational; to everyone else? he's batshit crazy.

and diego being swallowed up in his desire for fatherly validation and to make a change in the world, completely ignorant to his hero complex and how vain he comes off to others. he thinks he's being noble and self-sacrificial for the better good, but he just comes off as self-destructive and full of himself.

and you know they're sooo bad at flirting with each other. completely clueless & filled with non sequiturs that make sense to no one else. they don't even make sense to each other, at least for a while. eventually they're able to recognize that this is just their way of saying 'i love you', and that's what makes them so perfect for each other!

it's ALSO why they're constantly being mean to each other; they're like children on a playground with little schoolhouse crushes on each other, who don't know how to get the other's attention besides provoking them. god they make me sick

(flirting) i could be your loser boyfriend. you ever fucking thought about that??

[diabloku]

Lucifer: *enters the hotel*

Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈

An animation my sis and I made for fun

Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.

[galliro]

Rewatching this scene I realise that "Still got your insides" sounds alot more like a Vi line then a Jinx line which leads me to believe this is Jinx using Vi's line to her when she first took a punch as a kid.

Makes this whole scene just a little bit deeper and explains Vis contemplative reaction

[gardenveela]

Mel in her noxian fit

[jollymalt]

put the partners on the vinyl

[800db-cloud]

is this anything

[millidew]

his change in career has captivated me

bonus:

[dimeadozencows]

My personal understanding of the situation

[frenchublog]

[vivitalks]

best types of brennan NPC

autism haver

stoner

frat bro who has unlearned hypermasculinity so hard that he's gone 100% the opposite direction about it

anticapitalist proletarian

the most insane person you've ever met

[tua-headedcalf]

[alesshi]

You can't just do that! Send a telegram first or something!

[inlovewithmypc]

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[qualityrain]