#19 days rant

[limbokidd]

A Change

19 days spoilers

I’ve seen people analyze this scene so I decided to do my take on it.

We see that He Tian had just finished fighting She Li after he nearly stabs Mo and we are hit with this look.

He Tian turns to look at Mo and I noticed that he was almost crying. I believe this was a show of how rattled he was when he realized that Mo could’ve died. She Li had the upper ground and He Tian almost couldn’t save the one person he cared about the most.

I also think his tears were tears of anger as well. In the panels leading up to this He Tian grabs She Li and just punches and punches until someone has to stop him from killing him. You can see in the panel that He Tian is full on shaking.

He Tian was so fucking scared because the person who has tormented Mo’s life for so long almost won. And he was so close to not being able to prevent it.

And when He Tian turns to Mo he is met with this look.

Mo was in tears. He was just given a full confirmation that He Tian was willing to do just about anything to save him. He was willing to risk his life for him, more than once. Mo never had anyone that was willing to do so much only to make sure he was okay and safe. To him, this showed that He Tian really loved him. To him, this showed that He Tian truly cared for him.

To him, this meant everything.

[gcballet]

Doctor Who as tweets/textposts pt.6

<- | DW | ->

[motianz]

I'll rant about Zhanyi for a minute

Honestly such a shame that OX refuses to do anything with Zhanyi.

I'm not even talking about them not being the main couple anymore, but the lack of progress on their relationship overall.

In the beginning, they had a really cool concept of Jian Yi being this lovable childhood friend who hides behind smiles and jokes, that suddenly disappeared and came back years later with no explanation. Then we go to the past, and there's some angst about the intensity of Jian Yis's feelings, the mysteries of his family, his kidnapping, etc. And their dynamic was really good, with Jian yi being a very carefree but also intense person, and Zhan Zheng having a short fuse in a kind of childish way (as he is a teenager at the time), being extremely loyal and intensely confused about his feelings towards this friend of his, who he spent most of his life with.

Jian Yi kept pushing and Zhan Zheng was this un-movable force where he just decided fuck it, whatever the kind of love I still love you no matter what and I'll fight for you. From the dangerous adults around them to the people who had crushes on Jian Yi, Zhan Zheng refused to let him go. They had depth and a lot of development at the start.

It could be such a great dynamic, and could lead to so much angst with Jian Yi's disappearance.

And they even had some great comedic moments of teenagers figuring out their sexuality, so a lot of them being caught doing or saying weird stuff to one another and getting flustered about it.

But it's like OX just GAVE UP ON DEVELOPING THEM

LIKE GOD DAMN

Their dynamic pre and post disappearance is exactly the same, it didn't get any deeper or more explicitly romantic, it feels like they are the same people, no changes at all. They're not upset, Zhan Zheng didn't acknowledge he has sexual/romantic feelings towards Jian Yi (which was great back then, but how is it still the same), Jian Yi has the exact same personality - no shiftyness about his experiences being gone, no serious moments, no growth. Yes they do have this "I'll stay and take care of you forever" but they've had this same dynamic FOR YEARS (in universe), how has it not developed? How has it not sowered or changed after Jian Yi disappeared??

They still feel like the same teenagers that are very close but aren't together. Every time we could get a serious moment, or progress on their sexual/romantic feelings we just get another vague "no mater what, we are besties" or goddamm comedic relief.

(Teenagers on the left, adults on the right) Like, we got this same situation so many times already, where Jian Yi does something dumb, Zhan Zheng reacts and they get caught doing something that is misunderstood. (The bug bite photo Jy sends Zzx, Zzx drying Jys pants, Jy tearing Zzx pants on the subway, jy touching Zzx chest in public, Jy wearing the skirt, this update with Zzx spanking Jy, I can list this forever) it's always the same concept/situation, and their reactions are always the same, there's just never any progress.

And don't get me wrong, I very much understand and came to terms that 19 days is not a plot focused story, and let's be honest the time-line has been a bit of a nightmare lately, but I feel at the very least we have some very good and fun progress and character depth with Tianshan. Zhanyi did progress from the very beginning, but overall it feels like that just stopped.

Like, we still didn't get to see Mo realizing he tian is gone or anything from that period, but their dynamic changed SO MUCH from when they first showed up. From when they first meet to when Ht leaves (after beating up SL) their relationship deepens, their characters gain layers. And since 19 days takes time with its plot we are still at the very beginning of their post leaving dynamic and we've already got some pretty obvious change on how the intensity of their relationship changed (Ht basically proposing sex during their last update).

But it just feels like Ox doesn't want to do anything with Zhanyi, not even just forget about them, but freeze them in the same state. Maybe OX is just leaving them frozen until they finish Tianshan's story and then go back to focus on Zhanyi, but like, it just feels like such a let down to continuously see Zhanyi stay the same.

We got to here, we got JY admitting his feelings and ZZX accepting them but being vague whether he felt the same or not, and then we got them several times dedicating their futures to each other, and that's it. Nothing else changed or advanced from their teenage years.

I think it's why Tianshan became so much more popular, because they never got stuck in time. Zhanyi had around the same level of potential (don't come for me, I love Tianshan and HT is my favorite character from 19D so I can't say it's exactly the same lol) and could have such a great intense dynamic, but it keeps not happening.

Maybe I'll have to re-read their chapters, and the progress is just super nuanced, but hopefully, OX will do something with them now that they are really testing the limits of Chinese censorship, lol

TLDR: Zhanyi relationship and characters had so much potential but now feels frozen in time, their relationship lacks depth because OX keeps making them repeat the same situations and have the same reactions. Hopefully this will change.

[theartsynebulawhodoodles]

Day 19: Streetlight. Killer Sans Art and Rant!

Sorry I hadn’t been doing the other days, I’ve been under lots of stress with the new bluesky thing. I am planning to make an account on bluesky but I will also post on this account on tumblr always, basically it will just be me posting my art on both accounts whenever I make art. This had been very hard on me because of my fear of change and I was panicked and stressed out because I was terrified that I was going to get ‘left behind’ (idk why I thought that, lots of people in my fandom still use tumblr!) because I am too scared to join to bluesky. If I cannot make a bluesky account, I’ll either make a YouTube or a TikTok account or even devianart(?), and I’ll link those in my bio or on a new version of my pinned notes!

I won’t leave tumblr ever, I am just making another account on another platform to get my art out there! 🩵 will post the same things basically

(Yes, I know I didn’t put watercolors on this drawing like I usually do, sorry, was under lots of stress)

[non-un-topo]

Yo I'm sorry, not to be all "kids these days" yet again, but why are >20 year olds so immediately rude to each other and their peers? I work with this age range, because I work at a university, and I have older friends in uni as well who are always around students this age range, and it's just a constant back-and-forth of insults but with "I'm kidding haha!!" added on the end. Like a tiktok comment section, they're so quick to make fun of someone and call them bestie in the same sentence.

I know it has something to do with social media being a barrier when talking to people, it's easier to be mean / you can't gauge people's emotions or tone properly / peer pressure to "jokingly" bully people, etc etc I've heard it all.

I do feel like instagram is notorious for this kind of behaviour. Every comment section I open is just so fucking mean for zero reason. Someone will post a reel about a random topic and almost every comment is just people immediately making fun of their appearance or voice or what-have-you. I don't know when cyber-bullying became unserious.

And I know it's not just >20 year olds. I know that. I can't just blame the youths. But also, that's what I'm seeing. I'm just commenting on what I'm seeing with my own eyes.

It's not fun or really funny for anyone. Fucking be nice to each other, you little assholes.

[atomicnebula13]

OX is still a master of symbolism and imagery. White butterflies are associated with many things but in particular they are often seen as symbols of comfort to those who have lost a loved one.

Particularly significant and meaningful since He Tian just introduced Guan Shan to his mother. I’m sure it took a lot of trust in Guan Shan for He Tian to reveal himself in that way but he’s ready for it now, they both are. It’s like He Tian’s mother was there to support the both of them, I mean, how could she not support them when all she’s heard is how lovely Guan Shan is. 🥹

[ginrise]

I think Old Xian deserves an award for the most successful edge-r in human history lol. The potential 19 Days had that disappeared into thin air as soon as she made the side characters the main ones is so disappointing.

Have been following the Manhua since 2015, TWO THOUSAND AND FIFTEEN, that's nine years ago. No development whatsoever for the sweet ol' main couple. I thought she'd eventually get back on track oh I don't know after a year or two or three or four or five, I was gravely mistaken. It started out so well now it's just a ???? Wrapped around some ¿¿¿¿.

Here is a message to Old Xian, please give me some closure before my fiftieth birthday. I beg you. We were all rooting for you I swear lol. I have very very little rooting left to give but please, get it together.

PS: my 50s are still a bit far but not sure I'll make it with all the smoking.

[surreal-duck]

i dont think there are too many indos here so i was gonna refrain from posting this but whatever 👍 i'll be at CF19 on both days at C37AB!!! stop by and say hi if you can o/

[goliig68]

I miss the times when zhanyi had moments like this:

I mean...tianshan is my favourite ship right now but years ago, I started reading 19 days because of zhanyi.

After re reading the comic for n'th times, I can see after jian yi's confession their development got slower and then story focused mostly on tianshan. But I feel like zhanyi's development has come to full stop right now :( they haven't got any emotional or significant moment for a long time, they're like background characters to tianshan's story.

I mean yeah, years go old xian made a good decision to focus and develop tianshan's relationship because zhanyi were light years ahead of them, and zhanyi were finally got to some points, jian yi confessed and zheng xi accepted jian yi's feeling for him and after that zheng xi seemed to develop some romantic feelings for jian yi but oh well. We never saw anything after that (also I'm not happy with the way old xian is going with zheng xi's character, it seems like he doesn't have any character out of jian yi anymore and he doesn't have any close relationship or significant interaction with he tian or mo like jian yi does,it's like his purpose of existence is only because of jian yi, I could go on but that's literally a different topic)

I know they are together in future, in Christmas chapters they seem to be living together, but their development has been so dry that I keep questioning myself how old xian is gonna make them a thing.

I can only hope for old xian to take a look at them and be like: oh yeah they're the main couple I need to start focusing on them too!

after tianshan officially became canon, I thought that old xian is gonna give zhanyi some major development to move their relationship from sided love to mutual feelings but it doesn't seem we're going back to zhanyi anytime soon. I believe zheng xi is in love with jian yi already"I'll go wherever you go" was his way of telling it, or jian yi's "no matter what happens, don't ever leave me". I wish we saw their reactions to these indirect love confessions.

[bigmammallama5]

Well i guess a silver lining about losing most of my taste and smell from covid is im eating the snacks i didnt care for the taste of so i’m not wasting them lol

[limbokidd]

Vulnerabilities

A 19 days fanfic

This is my first fic so I hope it turned out ok😭

Summary: He Tian breaks the news the Mo that he’s leaving. Mo doesn’t take it well.

TW: Swearing, punching

Beginning:

Making beef stew had become a weekly occurrence as of late. Mo always seemed to find himself in that kitchen making something, whether it be dinner, breakfast, or just snacks.

He went to go and feel the helix that now existed on his ear; still tender, though it had only been done a few days ago so it made sense. Never in his days did Mo think he would let He Tian of all people pierce his ear. He’s only ever seen piercings and something that confines you.

But things have changed now.

The helix feels comforting and safe, a reminder of who cares for him.

Said person enters the kitchen silently, coming up behind Mo to kiss his temple, whispering a small hello. He Tian goes to wrap his arms around Mo and snuggle into his shoulder. This new level of affection was a level He Tian cracked just recently, and he’s so glad Mo finally let him in.

“Hey.” Mo whispers back. He notices that He Tian is hugging him quite tightly, but he doesn’t question the matter. “Is the stew almost done?” He Tian mumbles into the crook of Mo’s neck, pressing little kisses there. Mo puts down the wooden spoon to bring his hand up and push He Tian away, blushing like a mad man. “Be patient, Jesus.”

He’s setting the stew down to cool when He Tian asks him to watch the city with him. “Why the fuck would I wanna do that?” Mo snarls. Such a weird request. He Tian just looks at him.

Mo sees something in his eyes, but he can’t place what it is.

“Please?” He Tian asks again. He says it so gently and honestly, like there’s a hidden meaning to it.

Mo would normally still refuse, but something was telling him that there was more to the story, hidden under the cracks. So he silently walks past He Tian to the window in a silent approval. He Tian follows.

They stand there in silence, the sound of the city only a dull background. Mo wants to say something. The mood feels off, like there’s a tension in the air that won’t lift. He looks to He Tian and sees that he is already looking right back at him.

His smile is laced with hurt. Mo doesn’t know why.

He wants to.

Before he can get anything out He Tian speaks in a hesitant tone. “Mo, I have to tell you something.” Mo starts to worry. He Tian’s tone is serious which means this is something important.

It doesn’t shake the fact that he’s scared of what he might hear.

“I’m leaving. I won’t be coming to school anymore.”

Mo just looks at him. He doesn’t know what to say. Whatever he thought he was gonna say is certainly wasn’t this.

“Wha- what the fuck?” He Tian looks broken now as he processes Mo’s reaction. “I’m not going tomorrow.” He Tian lets out, it’s clear he doesn’t want this either.

Mo can’t process what’s happening. He backs away wide-eyed. “He Tian-“ it comes out broken. After everything they’ve gone through, every moment they shared, the conclusion is that He Tian gets up and disappears?

He Tian rushes towards him, his arms out-

“DON’T fucking touch me.” Mo spits. “You fucking asshole. You don’t want be to abandon you but the moment it’s the other way around you-you just leave? How is that fucking fair?”

He Tian knew this would happen. He doesn’t know how to calm Mo down. “ Mo listen-“ He reaches out a hand to grasp Mo’s shoulder and Mo slaps it away. “No this is bullshit.” He fists his hands into his hair. “This is total bullshit.” He’s trying to hide the wavering in his voice, but it is to no avail.

He Tian hates his Dad more than anything right now. He backs away and exhales. “It’s my dad’s decision. I don’t get a say in what I fuckin do.” He says, voice firm. “You think I want this?”

Mo is shaking his head, slowly curling in on himself. “I finally let myself have this after so long and the first thing you do is fuckin ditch me.” He exhales, staring off into the city as he clutches his hair. “I knew I would regret it. I should’ve never fuckin said anythin.” I should’ve never let you in. He Tian pinches his nose.

“Mo please. You’re making this seem like it’s my fault. It’s not-“

“You’ve found your way around your dads orders before, why can’t you do it this time?” Mo accuses him. He can’t fucking think straight. He doesn’t want He Tian to leave. This is too fucked and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Momo, I can’t run from him forever.” He stares at Mo, eyes pleading. “He Cheng has done his best to let me stay here instead of some shitty private school. He can’t always protect me.”Mo turns to him, anger clearly visible on his face. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got?” He voices. He Tian looked hurt. Mo didn’t care. “How dare you ask me not to abandon you when you just get to leave whenever. Do you know how that makes me feel?” Mo questions. He Tian stands stiffly. “I know I said what I said, but I didn’t know about this before-“ Mo cuts him off. “You’ve known. I saw the note. You knew this was gonna happen and you didn’t say shit.”

He Tian has eyes of shock. Then they turn into a glare. “Would you have reacted differently if I told you earlier?”

Now it’s Mo’s turn to be silent. He Tian continues. “I wanted to savour all the moments I had with you because you finally let your walls down for me. Do you know how happy that made me? To know that you finally felt safe around me? It meant everything. I can’t explain the relief I felt when you saw me as someone you could go to. And yes it was selfish of me to not say anything, but you were finally happy for once in your life, and I wasn’t gonna take that away from you.”

Mo stood dumbstruck. It was too much for him. He needed to back away, close himself in again. He let himself have what he wanted for once and look where it got him.

“Fuck you.” He scowled.

He Tian knows Mo is putting his walls up again. He doesn’t want to be seen as vulnerable. He doesn’t want He Tian to see him loose his composure.

He Tian thinks it’s the only way he will be able to get through to Mo.

He walks towards Mo and hugs him tightly. “GET OFF ME-“ Mo yells as he hits He Tian’s arms, trying to break away from He Tian’s grasp. He Tian just holds him, wincing as Mo hits him with a lot of force. “I’m sorry.” He whispers between hits. “I’m so sorry.” Mo continues to punch and hit, trying to break away from the embrace. “You ASSHOLE-“ He Tian buries his head in Mo’s neck. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

Mo’s hits start to get weaker. “Let me go.” He Tian does not respond, he just squeezes him tighter. “I love you.” His voice is muffled, but he knows Mo can hear him.

Mo finally stops hitting him and he rests his hands at his sides. He hated this. He hated that He Tian had made him feel this way. He hated that he didn’t want him to ever leave him.

He hated that he loved him too.

He stared at the space between them, clenching his fists. “You asked me to stay with you and I stayed. Why can’t you stay with me?” He murmured.

He Tian pulled back to face Mo when he stopped.

Mo was in tears.

He Tian’s heart shattered.

“You can’t leave.” Mo said as tears began to overflow. “You-you can’t just vanish without a warning.”

He Tian cups Mo’s face in his hands and kisses his forehead before going back to hug him again.

This time Mo hugs him back just as hard.

“Please don’t leave.” Mo starts to cry into He Tian’s shoulder. He Tian feels his eyes start to burn as he tucks his head into Mo’s shoulder. “I love you so much.” He Tian says again. He doesn’t know how else he can make Mo believe that he wants to stay, with him.

“I don’t want you to go.” Mo confesses. He Tian nestles into him more when he hears the sobs start. He knows there’s so much Mo isn’t saying. There’s so much he wants to say too, but he doesn’t know how. He hopes that this hug is enough to convey what he wants to say. He knows that communication is not their strong suit, but he will try none the less.

“We’ll be ok. I’m gonna make sure we’re ok.” He states.

He doesn’t know if he’s saying it to reassure Mo or himself.

He rocks them back and forth as he lets that thought hang in the air.

-Fin-

My thoughts on what I think is gonna happen soon🤨 anyways hope u liked it:D

[hypogryffin]

how do u draw so much so fast

well,

[professionalbalbberer]

Why does ticcimask have to be so popular? Toby seeing Tim as a father figure has been engraved into my mind. The tim-toby father-son dynamic parasite refuses to leave…😔😔😞😞😞😞😞😿😿

[i-amusemyself]

whhhyyyy must my long covid flare again!?! i do not have TIME for this 🙃🙃🙃

like for real if you arent avoiding covid try imagining all the things you wanna do today and pick one (1). every day. indefinitely. thats your life if you get this wretched condition put on a fucking mask for your own sake i beg you.

[atomicnebula13]

I’m so in love with the way Xixi expresses his care for Jian Yi because it’s so subtle yet deep. I can’t tell if physical touch is his love language or if he’s deduced that it’s Jian Yi’s love language and acts accordingly. Maybe it’s something he noticed when they were young.

In the middle school timeline he’s rather quiet and stoic but when Jian Yi really needs comforting, he doesn’t hesitate and it’s almost always a soft touch.

And the recent chapter showcases that brilliantly, once again.

So although he isn’t as flamboyantly affectionate or effusive as Jian Yi or He Tian, he still loves and cares deeply. I’m hoping we’ll get a Zhanyi kiss here soon as well.

[dragon-subway]

[points] favourite transformer(s)? pls tell me everything 📢

:O <-????? :O<-?????? YES I'LL TELL YOU MY FAVOURITE TRANSFORMERS (im actually shaking w exitement in this one so if you see spelling errors no the fuck you do not)

in no particular order:

mtmte whirl: hes great, his introduction was great and DAMN the knowing he can change what makes him angry and spiteful yet not doing it cause he knows he wont have anything left to keep him goes gets me every damn time. also theres a comic dub that fucking nails his voice for me. a shame the never did more than 3 issues and a few snippits. also also hae you seen the stuff he says?? delightful.

tfp soundwave: holy shit the explanations on why i love him so much can and have gone on for several hours. in summary, hes cool hes competent, his look being uncanny (cybertronian-wise), his figthting is such a rare treat to behold in the way its almost a dance and!!! he has very subtle shows of emotion!!!! tfp season 2 episode 14 will forever be my favourite

TFA shockwave: what tfp makeshift failed to be, a proper shapeshifting decepticon spy. I love his creepyness so much and the fact his autobot disguise to grey like a corpse is just..... man its so neat. also the antenna remind me of deer antlers

tfa blitzwing: I hold him gently.

tfp showckwave: antennas twitch n its the cutest thing to watch. honestly his animation is always super interesting, and the way they've done his head/eye in this design. He's super intimidating too, like when i watched tfp as a kid n saw him my jaw dropped - that entrance was spectacular especially after thinking he was dead just like everyone else in universe. MAN.

earthspark taurantulas: OH MY GOD you have no idea how exited i was to see him for the first time, i'd heard so many things about him and while he doesnt sound like i intially thought he would i atually prefer it so much more. Man just wanted to live in peace. My guy just wanted to be left alone. In comes this kid wanting to help him out and he tries to help him in return (but with the wrong idea) before actually helping him in return i think he's super sweet.

this has been great thank you very much for this ask :3