#171. Go to the mirror

[chewaai]

Pro tips I'm summarizing from the comments:

- You can find the transcripts here or copy the link: http://www.nightvalepresents.com/transcripts

- You can find content warnings here, which redirects to this link: https://nightvale.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Content_Warnings . They might not be up-to-date

- Some people can listen together with someone who they trust will ground them and/or when they pause the episode often

- Don't feel ashamed to miss out. There are many people who say they don't suffer from psychosis/paranoia, but wtnv was too much for them as well

- The fun part of wtnv is the profound expressions sprinkled in, which I'm adding under the readmore

Also thank y'all, it makes me happy to see people care for each others well-being

-

Don't worry, you do not have to read all of them :)

This is, still, from a source of existential confusion/wonder. If you discover that's not for you while reading through, please go back. Move onto the next tumblr post. You're okay, it's okay, take care of you <3

-

Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?

The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present

The desert seems vast, even endless. And yet scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow

there’s no sense in going through life presuming awful things about people you do not know

You are beautiful when you do beautiful things

We will never be the same again. But here's a little secret for you: no one is ever the same thing again after anything. You are never the same twice, and much of your unhappiness comes from trying to pretend that you are. Accept that you are different each day, and do so joyfully, recognizing it for the gift it is. Work within the desires and goals of the person you are currently, until you aren't that person anymore, and everything changes once again

No pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is

Sometimes you go through things that seem huge at the time, like a mysterious glowing cloud [...]. While they’re happening, they feel like the only thing that matters and you can hardly imagine that there’s a world out there that might have anything else going on. And then the glow cloud moves on. And you move on. And the event is behind you. And you may find, as time passes, that you remember it less and less

The present tense of regret is indecision

Be proud of your place in the Cosmos. It is small and yet it is

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you

Perfection is not real. Perfection is not human. Carlos is not perfect- no, even better- he is imperfect. Everything about him, and us, and all of this is imperfect. And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and cracks into which our outsized love can seep and pool. And sometimes we are annoyed, and disappointed, and that too is part of how love works

We are not history yet. We are happening now. How miraculous is that?

remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting. Don’t worry

Ignorance might not actually be bliss, but it is certainly less work

When confronted with someone whose “normal” is not our “normal,” we are forced to confront the most frightening prospect of all: that there is no such thing as “normal.” Just the accidental cultural moment we happened to be born into, a cultural happenstance that never existed before, and will never exist again

Almost always we are all experiencing the same problems as everyone else, and pretending we don’t so that every one of us thinks we are alone

If we cannot be judged on our actions, then we cannot be judged

Time is like wax, dripping from a candle flame. In the moment, it is molten and falling, with the capability to transform into any shape. Then the moment passes, and the wax hits the table top and solidifies into the shape it will always be. It becomes the past, a solid single record of what happened, still holding in its wild curves and contours the potential of every shape it could have held

we are even now in another bit of molten wax. We are in a moment that is still falling, still volatile, and we will never be anywhere else. We will always be in that most dangerous, most exciting, most possible time of all: the Now. Where we never can know what shape the next moment will take

Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. That’s what love is

When we talk about teenagers, we adults often talk with an air of scorn, of expectation for disappointment. And this can make people who are presently teenagers feel very defensive. But what everyone should understand is that none of us are talking to the teenagers that exist now, but talking back to the teenager we ourselves once were [...]. Any teenager who exists now is incidental to the potent mix of nostalgia and shame with which we speak to our younger selves

I am sometimes more doubt than man

"I was thinking about the series of ongoing actions that we perceive as the present, and the amassing of memories that we treat as the living record of the past and the hopes and dreams and assumptions that we project as the future. I was thinking about time. And about how it means something to so many people, and about how it’s so finite, and also so infinite.

I was also thinking about space. About how it is nothing, and then, a point which is just a single spot within the nothing, and a line which separates the nothing into two nothings, and how a plane is a patch of nothing and an angle just where two nothings meet, but all those things combined, with an object of points, lines, planes, and angles, an object with length and width and depth that can take up actual space. Until that object becomes something made of nothing – within nothing.

An object can be a wall, a floor, a roof, a bed, a table, a dog, a door, a rug, a…a home.

And then, I thought about how a home is just a group of objects connected by a shared personal experience of time – our past, our present, our assumed future. A home is…I mean, uh, scientifically speaking, speaking form the point of view of mere facts and logic, and um…hmm. You know, what with science, and all…uhhh, I– I– I just thought it was…time for us to…make a home together"

Each day the sun rises and sets. The moon pulls the tides. Our hearts beat. Our loved ones love us back. And we share our inhales and exhales with the great organism that is our tiny planet

Confused? At a loss for what to do? Wow, sounds like you're human. Good luck

May we all be human – beautiful, stupid, temporal, endless

within our limitations, there is no limit to how beautiful we can become. How much of our ideal self we can create. All the beauty in the world was made within the oppressive limitations

you are trapped in mistaken impressions of how your life should supposedly be. [...] That’s something only you can fix, through reflection, and laughter, and acceptance

How lonely that would be! A couple who has made themselves one so completely, that they are once again alone. We are two people, separate. Unique. And joined only where we choose to join

You figure it out. You learn from it. You take action. You create the meaning

We must be willing to face great challenges in order to achieve great things

Death is slotted for us all, and maybe it is years from now – in a soft bed, surrounded by the soft eyes of the people that we love – or, maybe, it is not so many years from now at all. And we have every reason to be afraid. But we also need to learn to put that fear aside, like a library book. Sometimes we need to check out our fear, and– and– and read it, and– and study it and peruse it closely, but at a certain point return it to its proper shelf and experience something else: Contentment. Worry. Calm. Hunger. And a great deal of love, of every kind.

So put that fear in a place where you can find it when you need it, but don’t carry it with you! Don’t carry it with you

Science was meant to be hard. After all, what was science but a bunch of bored human beings trying to challenge themselves when faith became too easy?

And if you’re ever feeling lonely just look at the moon. someone, somewhere, is looking right at it too

Nothing can be fully understood to be 'real.' Any description of the world we give is simply the world we experience

We all don't get happy lives. Maybe a happy life doesn't exist, at least not as some complete, discrete entity. We get what we get and we sort through how we feel about it moment by moment

We all chose to stand down and hope change would be won for us, and not by us. By someone else, we believed. A hero, we believed. But belief is only step one. Action is step two. Fighting for what you believe is step two. Solidarity is step two. Unity is step two

Sometimes where you live is just a place, no matter how long you live there

Feel free to share the ones I've missed

Worry less about the person you once were. Or the person you dream you someday will be. Worry about the person you are now. Or don’t even worry! Just be that person

-

As Welcome to Night Vale is gaining another burst of popularity, I do wish to send out a warning to people who are very sensitive to psychotic episodes: be careful if you want to listen to it

If you're the type of person who has #unreality blacklisted, don't listen to too many episodes in a row/maybe avoid it all together?

Stay safe <3

[faultyvessel]

Thinking back to that line in Go To The Mirror? when Cecil’s mom says “why are you crying when you don’t even exist?” and how it plays into the current arc in the way that things are being explained away to seem like they never existed in the first place and how she was supposedly Prophetic and-

[bloopdydooooo]

go to the mirror?

go to the mirror? go to the mirror? go to the mirror?

[ID: the center is occupied by a tall thin humanoid shape with large wings instead of arms and a covered face. the top half of the face is obscured by a fractured mirror pattern which extends past a large halo of glass shards. the figure is lined and colored in pink. the figure is framed by purple trees which mimic the frame of a mirror. the space between them is filled with 'go to the mirror?' repeated over and over again. /End ID]

[esteemed-excellency]

[enjoy-purple-skies]

/slowly turns the mirror away from me

[felixcosm]

Episode 171 is my favorite episode, I listen to it all the time, but mostly when I am nervous or anxious or in a scary situation because something about the creepiness of the episode sort of evens out the scariness of everything around me.

But the problem is that it's given me insane echolalia.

Specifically "did she lean over your sobbing face and ask you, why are you crying when you don't even exist?" or "did you see the blood? or feel the pain first? is it tearing into your flesh is that why you're screaming?" or "how long is its torso? Is it some kind of snake, but with human skin?" or "But isn’t it strange that all about you on the floor are shards of the mirror you shattered, yet in front of you, the mirror remains, fully intact?"

And any other number of worrying statements like that

[agnes-come-back-challenge]

"I wore a black coat and had never existed." (209, "The Black Coat")

"Did she lean over your sobbing face and ask you, 'Why are you crying when you don't even exist?' […] Have you ever decided you wanted a lightweight wool button-up coat, all black?" (171, "Go to the Mirror?")

[symphony-calamity]

Actually I can see why Cecil hates mirrors. My man looks in ONE MIRROR and immediately has an existential crisis on public radio.

[apothecaryofthedamned]

art dump

[maisanshine]

𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙒𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙄𝙏 |𝙅𝙅𝙆

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙅𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨?

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜🝮 𝙛𝙬𝙗!𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠/ 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨🝮 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙨𝙩, 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜?!????, 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨, 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 (𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 171 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪) 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮, 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙥𝙞𝙚, 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩, 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙙𝙤𝙜𝙜𝙮, 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮, 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙠, 𝙟𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚...𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙥 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙥 𝙡𝙢𝙠 𝙞𝙛 𝙄 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜¯\_(ツ)_/¯

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩; 5.6𝙠

(𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙧𝙧𝙮)

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Seated on the edge of your bed, you are gazing at your reflection in the mirror located across the room. You are naked, your body is aching, your arms are looking for warmth, and your thoughts are having a field day in your mind.

You have dried-up cum on the side of your face from an hour ago. You stare at yourself, questioning what is going on. Why did you land yourself here? As you continue to gaze at your reflection, a mix of confusion and regret washes over you. Thoughts race through your mind, trying to piece together the events that led to this moment. You wonder if there was a deeper reason behind your choices or if it was simply a series of impulsive actions.

On the other hand, Jungkook is in the shower, and you sit there crying. Silently, because you don't let him hear or see. You can't let him see you like this. You feel a sense of vulnerability, realizing that you've been hiding your emotions from Jungkook. The weight of your tears becomes heavier as you question whether you should open up to him and share the turmoil within your heart.

But then it will lead to a hell of a lot of questions that you won't answer truthfully.

"Why are you crying?"

You will probably lie. You don't want to burden him with your problems or make him worry. The fear of judgment and rejection keeps you from being honest about your feelings, even though, deep down, you long for his understanding and support.

"Nothing, just an aftershock, I guess."

He'll laugh and get back to what he always does. You'll continue to hide your emotions, putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay. He takes his shower, puts on his clothes, and walks out without even a side-eye.

The cycle of bottling up your feelings and avoiding vulnerability will persist, leaving you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

But that's what you two created—a no I talk, and you listen to relationships. It's cold and distant; the only heat you two create is in bed. Or whatever ratchet hookup you are in at the moment.

Like a married couple on the brink of divorce, they are only together for their kids.

But you and Jungkook aren't married. Probably won't get married. Most definitely, at this point, you will not become his girlfriend either. It's been two years since this started.

You, Jungkook, aren't even friends. Your guys are just benefits. It was rather simple, really. How this all started

2 years ago…

You sit at the bar and have your second drink, which you've never had in your life. You unwillingly took a shot at your birthday party that was two days ago.

You still have the yellow Martini flicking at the bottom of the glass. You don't drink it; you just look at it. Playing with a toothpick and mixing a drink around as if it were going to change color

"Drink it; it's not going to change colors." You turn to your left and see a man sitting two seats down from you. Smiling, you answer, "I know, it just looks weird." He turns to you, and dark, rich brown eyes stare into yours.

"What does it look like?" He asks, and you're too quick to answer.

"A shot of piss." He laughs from his seat. You push the drink away, and 27 dollars go down the drain.

"Well, let me buy you a real drink, not a shot of piss," he says again. You look at him, admiring his presence.

A tall, full sleeve of tattoos. Two lips ring. You're just begging to see how they feel about you. On your lips, your thighs, and your core

You smile after scanning every part of him with pleasure. "Sure, you probably know more about drinks than me." He smiles. You stand up, pulling your skirt down, and his gaze falls to your legs.

You sit in the chair next to him, and he leans his head on his knuckles as his eyes travel up your body.

"What are you staring at so hard? You never talked to a girl before." He smiles again, and this time you see the tiny amount of his teeth he flashes straight and white.

"I've talked to girls, but not a woman." Your face heats up.

"Women?" You play with his words, and he leans in closer.

"Girls are lovely, but women are amazing." You sit in the chair. You later lay your feet on the footrest of his chair, tapping against it.

"Do you see me as a woman?" He lifts his hand, calling the bartender.

"We'll see after this drink; I'll make up my mind after," he says, ordering you two Amarettos. You don't know what the fuck that is, but it was pretty.

The bartender puts the orange drink in front of you guys. The orange tones get lighter as they meet the top. You take the toothpick with the three grapes, bite one, and dip the toothpick into the drink.

"To women," the man picks on his glass for a cheer.

"To women," you say before him. He drinks about half of the drink, not breaking eye contact as you do it as well.

Present time…

You smile at the flashback, remembering how much you wanted him at that moment. Now you just want to end this. Or move forward. But you are stuck in the middle.

You think about how you read him like a book, and he wanted to see if you knew what he was thinking about at that moment.

But it was far too easy since Jungkook was undressing you with his eyes.

2 years ago…

"What am I thinking about right now?"

"I think you want to kiss me," you answer, and he smiles brightly.

"Yeah, I'm dying to...do you want me to kiss you?"

"What you do think": You play with fire, and you want it to burn you so badly.

He leans in closer and says, "By the way you're clenching your legs together and this tiny fucking skirt, I think you want what I want." His lips are closer than ever, your mutual breaths hitting the surface of each other's lips.

"What if I told you you were correct?" He places his warm hand on your shoulder.

"Then I think we shouldn't waste any time; the world is here for a reason." You smile as his lips touch yours with the softest peck.

You stand up and grab your sweater and your bag, holding his hand.

He moves swiftly, cashing out a $100 bill and placing it on the bar table.

You walk out of the bar, leading to the parking lot.

Present time…

Jungkook walks out of your bathroom. He still sees that you are naked. Sitting there, staring in the mirror.

Jungkook isn't dying to stay; he knows you want to hold him. And talk about the most random shit. But he can't; he doesn't want to hurt you.

It's been two years; why would he start hanging around after sex now? It will look like he's in love.

Unfortunately, he isn't

That's his truth; he's infatuated with you. Jungkook thinks about your guy's relationship a lot.

You guys aren't friends.

You guys are not dating.

You practically only get each other off.

And he doesn't like to hold any conversations; he barely knows your full name.

He is sleeping with a stranger, and he's been sleeping with a stranger for the last two years.

When he thinks about it, he feels shitty at the fact that he can't even hold a simple conversation with you, and it's not like you've tried either. You guys only hold a conversation in the middle of sex.

But after that, there's nothing besides the hi's at either door.

Jungkook was a fuckboy.

He would sleep with multiple women at the same time—two or three—never over, but when he slept with you, he found himself only sleeping with you. It wasn't like him; he found it weird and scary.

He would try to engage in conversation with other women, but it never turned him on because he would only think about you and your face and how much he loved having you under him, breathing and panting on him.

He loves feeling the hot breath of you begging for him to cum on his shoulders or his chest on the side of his face when he has your knees pressing against your shoulders, looking for air to breathe.

Or he loved it when he had you with your face buried in the pillows and your muffled moans coming out from under the blocks of sheets under your face.

Or how you want to drag your nails down his bag and leave four or five scratches on him that he will realize when his friends point them out in the gym.

When he started realizing all the shit he loved about being with you, he started to distance himself. He tried to detox away from you, but when he saw you tonight at that party with those pants that molded to your lower body like a second skin, he couldn't hold himself. He texted you, and now he ended up here, watching you, staring at yourself in the mirror with dry cum on the side of your face, naked, lost in your mind, and standing on the other side of the room. Also lost in his mind.

This is the first time you and Jungkook have slept together in the last three weeks. What happened in those three weeks, you might ask? Jungkook was having a shitfest when it came to hooking up with other girls.

Either he couldn't get it up or he would have a conversation with a girl and immediately get turned off, and he would open his phone, looking at your name as the first message on his message board, and his fingers would itch so bad to send a simple text for you to come over or for him to come to you? But he pushed for three weeks, and today it broke.

Jungkook finally gets all of his clothes on, and he walks past you, walking out of your door without a word, just like all the other times, even though he always comes intending to stay but loses it after he cums it out of his system. As he steps outside, a wave of regret washes over him, knowing that he's once again let his fear and insecurities get the best of him. He wonders if this cycle will ever end and if he'll ever find the courage to truly open up and let you in.

2 weeks later

You sit in the library, digging your nails into your books for your exam this Friday. Jungkook texted you about four times today, but you haven't responded. You don't need any distractions this week. You respond to him after your exam is over, but when you see Jungkook walking into the library, heading straight forward, you panic.

"Hey, I've been texting you," he says, putting his hand on your shoulder.

"Yeah, I know," you say dryly.

"I want you," he smirks, and you roll your eyes.

Him and his dumb fucking smirk.

"Jungkook..." you cut off as he brushed his hand across your face. "You don't want me anymore?"

"I can't" You stand and look at him, but then you shut yourself down.

You pick up your things, telling him you are going home.

"I'll give you a ride," he says, holding your shoulders and walking you to his car.

He sits in the car and drives off. It's a long drive—about 20 to 30 minutes. You guys sitting in an empty parking garage.

"This isn't my house." Jungkook sits, gripping his steering wheel, and you play with the tips of your fingers.

You don't look at him; he just looks at you and sits there, picking off your nail polish. You can feel his stare or burn it to the side of your face.

"Tell me something," he starts, and you already want the conversation to be over.

"Do you want this?"

"Do I want what?" You know exactly what he's talking about. Do you still want this bullshit-ass relationship? A huge part of you says no, but then the other part of you says yes.

You're so conflicted because you both are at fault. You both never resolved this dilemma. You guys never strived to make this relationship better than it was, and now it's going downhill from what this conversation looks like.

"I don't know JungKook."

You sit there in silence. The silence is so deafening, and you can hear the cars under you driving past you and the monochromatic noise of everything else around you. The weight of the unspoken words hangs heavily in the air, intensifying the tension between you. It's as if the silence is a reflection of the deep-seated issues that have been left unaddressed for far too long.

"Can you say something?" You say, but Jungkook just breathes.

"You said you couldn't do this anymore, so I guess it's over." That's all he says. You nod, looking out the window, and your heart hurts a little bit. The familiar scenery outside seems to blur as tears well up in your eyes. It's a painful realization that this chapter of your life has come to an end, leaving you with a bittersweet mix of emotions.

"Well, then, I guess this is goodbye," you say. You try to get out of the car. You suffocate, and you need to breathe so that you don't feel like your heart is going to explode any second now. As you struggle to open the car door, your mind races with memories of happier times shared together. The weight of the goodbye hangs heavy in the air, and you can't help but wonder if there's a chance for reconciliation in the future.

"Don't do that," he says, grabbing your hand. He touches your face, swiping hair out of the way.

He brings you in, and the next thing you know, you kiss him, and your hands are in his hair. Your body is grinding into his dick. In that moment, the intensity of your emotions takes over, momentarily erasing the pain and uncertainty. The connection between you feels electric, as if time stands still, and for a brief moment, you find solace in each other's arms.

Jungkook breaks the kiss. But you don't want him to speak. You kiss him hard and deep. You do not want this to end. You grind into him, and he pulls your shirt up.

Sucking on your nipples, he plays and fondles with your breast. He grips them, squeezes them hard, and pinches your nipples. His touch sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, intensifying the connection between you. As you moan in delight, he continues to explore every inch of your body, leaving you craving more. You let out a whimper, and he sees your hands working towards his belt.

Fighting to get it off, when you finally don't stop looking at his hard cock, he smirks and guides your hand towards it, allowing you to feel its throbbing heat. It sits against his stomach. Jungkook pushes your underwear to the side, running his long, trusted fingers along your soaked folds. Your body trembles with anticipation as Jungkook's skilled touch ignites a fiery desire within you. Each stroke of his fingers sends waves of pleasure coursing through your veins, intensifying the hunger that consumes you. As he expertly explores your most sensitive spots, you can't help but arch your back and gasp for more, surrendering completely to the electrifying connection between you both.

You moan at the sensation grinding onto his fingers as he slips one inside of you, thrusting in and out. He slows up, but you grab his wrist, guiding him to go faster. He wants this to last as long as possible because this is probably the last time you'll ever touch him. He continues to please you as you look at his shaft leaning against his stomach, the smooth, long vein bulging. You look at it hard because this is the last time you are going to see it. You touch his tip, running your finger over his slightly red tip.

But then you feel the waterworks; tiny teardrops fall from your eyes onto his abdomen. Jungkook stops his movement, but before he can open his mouth and speak, You take his hand out of your swollen cunt and replace it with his cock. Jungkook groans as you wrap yourself around him so wet and perfectly, and he starts to grind on him back and forth, shifting to the point of your knees and thrusting up and down on him. You grasp onto his shoulder so hard that you are probably cutting skin, but you don't stop. You're not doing it to come faster. You just want to forget about the situation, so you rock yourself on him harder and harder, taking complete control of the situation.

Jungkook is under you, groaning harshly as he grabs your hips, smacking your ass, and playing with the plush skin. He sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, swelling his tongue around the pebbled nub. As you ride him to his finish, Jungkook finds your actions a little bit weird because you usually always want him to go slowly. The car is moving as you ride him faster, but he grips your hips so hard so you can stop, and you cry frustration as he pushes you down on his dick so you can stop your sudden rough movements, but you punch his shoulders, your tears spilling from your face, and Jungkook realizes that you're crying.

"What's wrong? Why are you being so rough?" He says it in confusion, and you stop and open your eyes to look at him. You look at him deadpan in his dark chocolate eyes and the way his lip rings shine at you.

"Don't act like you don't like it, Jungkook." You try to grind on him, but he stops you, and you've grown frustrated. "I don't like this," he says, and you take your hands off his shoulders, wiping your face.

"Jungkook, you're turning me the fuck off, and this is the end, so just fuck me so you can take me home, and I don't ever have to see you again." The words sting, but you both know that it's the truth; he said that it's the end, so why is he being so fucking weird about it?

"But I feel like you're..."

"You don't know what I feel." You say in a hushed whisper as your head falls on his shoulders and you're breathing so hard because you're about to come into contact with him. "Can you just cum already?" You say this, and you lift your head off his shoulders to look at him in the face. Jungkook's face is stoned, and he looks angry.

"Fine" Jungkook swipes his hand over the lever on the side of his seat to push his seat all the way down until it's touching his backseat. He adjusts himself, laying back, and starts pounding into you rough and fast, your gas at the sensation gripping onto his shoulders and dancing your fingers into his skin.

Jungkook thrusts hard as hell into your fast-paced body as you grind on top of him and have You lose your breath. He reaches up, wrapping his hands around your neck, choking you hard, and you gasp, feeling barely any air circulation into your throat. "You want me to fuck you? Fine." Jungkook later grabs your hips and throws you onto the back of the seat. He picks up your legs, pushing your knees to touch your shoulder and your ass lips a little bit as he thrusts his on top of you, the car shaking with his setting, pounding into you hard, fast, and slightly painful.

"I should fuck your ass so you can lose your fucking attitude." Jungkook groans, and he rims his finger against your other hole, and you shake at the sensation. As the intensity of the moment grows, your mind becomes a whirlwind of conflicting desires. The mix of pleasure and pain sends shivers down your spine, leaving you craving more. Jungkook's dominance over you is both exhilarating and overwhelming, pushing you to the edge of ecstasy. Your mind is losing all sense of reality. He takes his finger and pushes it into your ass, slowing and just touching the tip, but you move slightly, causing his finger to slip out.

You're on the seat moaning at his harsh movement, but this is what you asked for. You asked for this to be done, and even though it's ugly, it's not going to happen ever again, so you let it happen. Jungkook's hand is still around your throat; his other hand is holding up your legs as he thrusts faster into you, clenching around his cock. You brush your hand against his abs, but Jungkook lets go of your throat, grasping your hands and putting them above your head so you don't touch him.

He continues his thrust on your sensational building; you're about to come, but then Jungkook stops flipping you over and hikes your ass up to his waist as he slams into you again, taking you from the back. He pushes your head into the car seat, and you're moaning. You're so close, but your body is pulsing in your clit. You've never felt this way before. Your heart is pumping, your cunt is clenching, and Jungkook's harsh threats are bumping into your body, pushing forward every single time he pushes forward and back.

You gasp as you come. The wet liquid flies out of you as you shake and your legs give out as you drop onto the car seat in an uncomfortable position if you could continue fucking you, and you let him until he comes. Jungkook's stomach burns as he lets out his long, treacherous ropes of cum. Paint your walls inside of you; he's never come inside of you. You guys usually use condoms, or he comes on to another part of your body.

He slows down his movement, thrusting two or three more times before he pulls out. He realizes that you squirted all over his car seat, and you lay on the driver's seat, your head tucked into your arms, and you sniffle. You're crying under him, and he doesn't know what to do.

Jungkook goes to comfort you, but he pulls his hand back, fixing himself as he picks you up, turns you over, and adjusts your clothes.

There's no speaking. There's no aftercare; there's nothing.

You realize that it's over, and you move to the passenger seat, putting on your seatbelt, as Jungkook takes a shirt from the back of his car, wiping the fluid off his seat.

You sit in the passenger seat with your tiered stand cheeks facing the window as Jungkook pulls out of the parking lot, taking you home. You're at the front of your apartment complex, and you get your things by walking out of Jungkook's car.

Turn around, shutting his car door before it completely shuts. You lean out, giving him a shy smile.

"Jeon Jungkook, I love you." Jungkook's head whips towards you, but before he can get a word out, you shut his car door and walk into your dorm building.

4 months later.

"Y/N" Your friend Lena causes you over at the section that she sits in at the house party. Exam week is finally over, and you've passed all your tests. Your roommate Lena pushed you out of the house, and you decided to go since you didn't have anything better to do.

You walk in hand with Jimin, and you introduce him to your friends. After a few cups of beer and some talking, you decide to excuse yourself to the bathroom.

You walk upstairs looking for the bathroom, and you stand at the door, and surprisingly, there's no line.

When the door opens, you see the one and only Jungkook walking out of the bathroom with another girl. You're shocked, and Jungkook is more shocked than you because the last time you saw him, you told him that you loved him, and you didn't let him get a word out before you rushed into your dorm and cried for three weeks straight.

The girl is holding his hand, and she looks fucked out, and you already know what he was doing in there. He does what he always does. Sorry, you say in a hushed whisper, and Jungkook just stands in the frame of the door, looking at you. Do you feel his stairs burn into your body? You haven't seen Jungkook in about four months; it kind of felt like he walked off the side of the planet.

But now he stands in front of you; his hair is a lot longer, but you know he's the same boy that you loved and that you still love.

You try and walk into the bathroom, but Jungkook lets go of the girl's hand grasping onto your shoulders. "Aren't we going?" the girl says behind him, and Jungkook looks behind her, shifting his head to the side as the girl moves out of the bathroom. She scuffs, running down the stairs, calling him an asshole, and you stare at him calmly and collectedly.

"How are you?" he says, and you shrug, not wanting to engage in a conversation with him.

"I'm doing good, you."

"I've been better," he says, and he smiles a little bit.

"You look good. You're glowing." He laughs, and you smile, nodding your head. "Maybe it's the sensation of having to pee right now."

"Yeah." That's all he says.

Then he looks at you with an apologetic look on his face and says, "You know Y/N." But then he's cut off by Jimin coming in next to you. You smile at Jimin as he takes your hand in his

"I was looking for you, babe." Jimin kisses the side of your head, and Jungkook looks distraught.

"Yeah, I came to use the bathroom, but I ran into an old friend here." You say you are leaning your head on Jimin's shoulder, but the tension between you and Jungkook is so active in general that you don't know how to feel in the moment.

"Jimin, this is Jungkook Jungkook. This is Jimin, my boyfriend." It's kind of a little bit asshole of you to introduce your ex-fuck buddy to your boyfriend, but if Jungkook walked out of the bathroom and mined his business walking right past you with his fuck at the moment, this wouldn't have been his situation.

You and Jimin have been official for two days. Do you like him? No, he's nice to you, he treats you right, and you're hoping that you can forget about Jungkook and move forward with him.

"Nice to meet you, man," Jimin And Jungkook shakes hands, and Jungkook is still in the distraught sequence.

"Well, I'll leave you two talking here because I have to pee." You move Jungkook out of the way, setting the door behind them as you trap yourself in the bathroom.

You look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes wide in shock, and you laugh a little bit to calm your anxiety.

When you walk out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Jimin stands outside alone.

"Where did Jungkook go?" you ask. Jimin shrugs his shoulders. He left, saying he had to go fix something at his apartment or whatever.

You smile, take Jimin's hand, and walk out of the party to get food.

You make it to your house with Jimin, and he decides to stay over. You guys eat your takeout, take a shower, and head to bed. As Jimin is still in the bathroom, you see your phone light up with a text message with a name that you haven't seen in months.

JK: Can I talk to you tomorrow?

You pick up your phone and decide whether you should ignore it, block him, or do both. But you give yourself the closure that you've been wanting for the last four months, so you can close that chapter of your life and continue to do something better.

Y/N: Yeah, sure",

You sent a text message, going to bed with Jimin.

You walk to the coffee shop the next day, sitting Jungkook is sitting in the far back corner, dressed in all black and with a Calvin Klein hat on his head. You smile, sitting on the opposite side of the table.

Hello, you say, and you sit down, removing your bag and putting it on the seat next to you.

"Hey, I'll just get straight to the point." You're nodding, and he continues to speak.

"I didn't like how we ended a few months ago. I felt very guilty, and I would lie to myself and say that I didn't miss you because I do, and I'm not telling you this just because you're with your boyfriend now, but I'm happy for you. I know I was an asshole to you, and it's probably very mean of me to sit here and tell you all of this today, but I feel like we both deserve closure."

You nod agreeing. "Yeah, sorry, I left you on that cliffhanger there. I was just going through a lot, and I didn't know if I wanted to end it or try and salvage what we had, but it was just so cold, so I just decided to end it without consulting you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I hope you're happy, and maybe we can be cool." You nod, smiling, and Jungkook reaches for your hand and brushes his warm fingers above yours. You give in, holding onto his hand, and this is the conversation that you would want to have months ago, but instead of giving each other closure at the end of the day, you wanted to be with him, and in the back of your brain, you still do. You love Jungkook, and you have love for him. You will miss his body, all the warmth he provided to you, and your cold relationship.

But this is a growing path for you, so you accept the faith you decided to walk through, letting your life go on. Jungkook could deal with his life by himself, but now that the tension is released, you let go of his hand, and you both stand up, but you look at each other in the eyes, seeing the admiration. You smile and hold out your hand, seeing if he would accept a hug—a friendship hug—because you guys were never friends, just a benefit.

"Thank you for this. I hope you find somebody, Jungkook." It's a bittersweet moment, and Jungkook takes his last cent of you because it's the first and last time that he will ever hold you like this.

"I love you too, Y/N." Then he lets go of the hug, and now you're the one in shock. He walks out the door, and once he's out of the building, he gives you a solemn wave and enters his car. Your heart is pumping in your chest, and it feels like you're right back to the moment you walked out of his car, and all of this happened with no fucking closure at all because you know that he loves you.

★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

𝙎𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 2?!?!????

[allfryam]

weight gain drive story

Shane had always coasted through life on his good looks. He was a popular football player in high school, and he somehow avoided the freshman 15 in college. His life was perfect until his girlfriend of 3 years, Ashley, broke up with him out of nowhere. It broke Shane. He didn’t come out of his room for a week, and he spent most of his days crying in bed.

but Shane quickly recovered and hopped back into his normal life. He wasn’t one to just leave a relationship though. He had to make Ashley jealous. He started going to the gym every single day. He always thought he was a little skinny and wished he was bigger. He was talking about it on the phone with one of his buddies when a strange man overheard him. “You tryna get big?” The strange man said. “Uhhh… yeah?” Shane replied. “Take this. You’ll be bigger in no time.” He tossed a small bottle to Shane and walked away. Shane examined the bottle. “GET BIGGER EVERY DAY!” Shane was skeptical, but he reluctantly drank the liquid and tossed the bottle.

Shane took note of his starting weight. 155 pounds. He looked at himself in the mirror. “Hopefully this junk works.” He said to himself. the next morning, Shane rushed to the bathroom to weigh himself. 156 pounds. That shit only made him gain a pound. What a waste. He went about his week like normal until 4 days later. He checked his weight to see 160 pounds. Huh. A pound a day? That was a lot faster that he normally gained weight. He looked at himself in the mirror to see his midsection growing ever so slightly. There was just a thin layer of softness that was beginning to cover his abs. Shane didn’t notice however. He saw his arms getting slightly wider and he was ecstatic. He was finally starting to gain some real muscle.

a week had passed, and Shane was still gaining exactly one pound a day. He was up 13 pounds from his starting weight, and his friends started to notice. “Yo. Lay off the ice cream, tubby” his friend mark commented. Shane looked down to see that his gym shirt didn’t quite cover his belly all the way. There was a small but noticeable layer of pudge peeking out of his shirt. His face got red and he tugged his shirt down. “Maybe I should stick to the weight im at now.” He thought to himself. But the weight kept coming. Exactly one pound a day. 169. 170. 171. 172. It kept climbing. Shane was starting to get worried. How long would this spell last? Would he continue to gain weight forever? Shane was frightened, but looking in the mirror, he had never looked stronger.

after the first month, Shane was up 30 pounds. He hit 185 in no time. Sweatpants were all that fit over his round butt, and he wore hoodies to try and conceal his growing belly. That didn’t really help though. Mark was constantly making fun of his friend’s weight gain and poking Shane’s belly. Shane would even try to stop eating for a day, but the weight still climbed. Shane was ready to give up. What’s the point of eating healthy if you’re going to gain weight anyway? Shane decided to treat himself by eating whatever he wanted from now on.

after two months, Shane was ahead of schedule. He was supposed to be up 60 pounds, but when he stepped on the scale, he was up 70! He was still gaining a pound a day, but all of the pizza and ice cream he was eating was also making him even fatter. Shane almost didn’t recognize himself anymore. He had a double chin, his pecs began to melt and get saggy, his toned arms grew larger and softer. But his stomach was the worst of all. It was like having a beach ball under your shirt at all times. Not even his baggiest hoodies could contain the mass of his gut.

after 100 days, Shane was up 139 pounds. He almost hit 300! He was at 294. The spell seemed like it finally wore off, but what had Shane done to himself. His belly was huge! It hung over his tight pants and bursted through the buttons on his shirts. Shane’s entire body jiggled with each step, and he was constantly out of breath. But his arms were huge. He looked like he could lift a truck with his pinky. Shane decided the belly was a sacrifice he was willing to make to keep these bear arms.

thank you to everyone who participated in the weight gain drive! I had a lot of fun making it and I hope you have fun reading it. I may do more like this in the future so stay tuned. I hope everyone has a merry Christmas!

[melbatron5000]

Missing scenes?

Please, go insane with me. Again.

I'm still digging through the chiastic structure looking for Clues, and BOY HOWDY am I finding them.

Number one, I'm pretty certain I found TWO middle points.

There's one spot where the current show as it is meets up and extends out from. And another spot that isn't, but which I think is the True Middle. And I'll tell you what, I came at it a little bass-ackwards, and somehow accidentally wound up with the True Middle before I came across what I've been calling the Fool's Middle.

Okay. Great. Yay me. When I first found the Fool's Middle, I thought it must be the True Middle, and I'd been messing up this whole while. Except, I've been finding some very clear matches in some odd spots to the "right" of the middle, if we lay the story out in a left-to-right order. That shouldn't be. Chiastic structure is a mirror. Matches should be on opposite sides of the middle. But my assumed middle is working out MUCH better than the middle that actually falls in the center.

What the what.

Unless we're missing scenes.

Which brings me to find number two.

Several people have suggested that the scenes might be out of order, given the vehemence that Crowley shouts this at the demons before they attack the ball. I thought so too, and I figured the chiastic structure breakdown would show me what order they belong in.

Well, almost.

As I busily sorted through looking for mirror parallels, I started to notice that there's one chunk that has no real matches on the other side of the middle. Not the Fool's Middle, and not the True Middle. No real echoes, either.

The Resurrectionists minisode.

The present-day scenes that are interspersed with the Resurrectionists flashbacks have parallels. Just not any moments from the actual flashbacks themselves.

I figured I must just be blind, and decided to comb through that particular bit more thoroughly.

Here's the first thing I found:

Note 138: "We do a miracle so no one knows it's him, now no one knows it's him. Nice one, us." Hand-written note: "It's definitely Gabriel."

Note 134: Crowley brings Aziraphale to see the Gabriel statue in the 1700s. (1827, I know. They're notes, bear with me.) Hand-written note: "It's definitely Gabriel." "We do a miracle so no one knows it's him."

Okay, awesome, so there ARE mirror parallels in the Resurrectionists minisode. When Aziraphale says "it's definitely Gabriel" mirrors when no one knows it's Gabriel. Cool. No missing scenes. Yeah?

Oh, no. Not so freaking fast. Here's the next thing I found:

Note 160: Wee Morag is shot. (By the grave gun.) Hand-written note: "You are out of order!"

Note 161: "YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER!" Hand-written note: this is pretty much where the mirror of the Resurrectionists minisode should go.

Yeah. You'd think Wee Morag getting shot would have a solid mirror, right? But it doesn't. Unless you count Crowley yelling about demons -- or something -- being out of order. Hmmmm . . .

Okay, let's keep digging.

Note 171: Crowley vanishes down a hole. Handwritten note: Something's wrong -- like a hangover.

Note 170: Something's wrong, go to my friend. Hand-written note: Crowley vanishes down the hole to Hell.

Hot damn. Here we go.

Believe me when I felt a little bit like Aziraphale reading that his cocoa doth grow cold. A tad like Crowley was yelling right at me. At least, for a moment.

I can't find any other mirrors for Resurrectionists. I've looked. I'm not seeing anything.

Crowley can tell something isn't right. Something else is meant to be happening now, not a demon attack. And to him, it feels like a hangover -- that laudanum hangover, that ended in him getting sucked to Hell.

In the book, we learn that Crowley has a fine time trying to describe helicopters to Leonardo Da Vinci. In the Resurrectionists minisode, he tells Mr. Dalrymple he might want to wash his hands.

I don't think Crowley can see the future. In season 1, when Aziraphale asks him how the end of the world is going to go, he says rather irritably that he's never done it before, it's not like they let you go round again until you get it right. I don't think Crowley knows precisely what's wrong or what's meant to be happening when he feels that hangover mirror -- but his talent is time, and through that sense, he can tell whatever's happening isn't right.

Thus why he demands of the demons -- what are you doing here? What are any of you doing here? And then tells them, you are OUT OF ORDER!

The demon attack has plenty of parallels, it is supposed to happen -- but it's not meant to happen just yet. It's too soon. We need the Resurrectionist parallels first. Once we have those, the Fool's Middle falls away, and the True Middle takes its rightful place.

Now, my big question: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SCENES?

I'm NOT a fan of "The Magic Trick You Didn't See" theory. I don't think the Metatron has Dicky Bird to do with re-writing the Book of Life, which, by the way, we have no evidence of one way or the other even functioning as described. We have three different characters tell us two different things about it, and we never see it in action. Also, the only things that are missing and that has Crowley out-of-sorts are the Resurrectionist parallels. We're missing a couple of scenes that should match those. Just a few things. But important things, I should think.

Who took them? What events now suddenly didn't happen? And why were they taken?

Listen to me, I'm so wrapped up in this I'm writing like this is just fact. These are my thoughts. The chiastic structure has yielded some awesome stuff, stuff I think is really true. Is this true? Do I have this right? I don't know, and I've certainly been wrong about stuff before. But I do think I'm on to something here.

Also, now that I think of it for a moment, those are maybe not the right questions. DID someone take the missing scenes? Or did time jump forward past them? If time did just skip ahead -- hello, book shop clock -- why did it do that? And why can Crowley tell it did it this time, but isn't concerned about the other times? We all know about the book shop clock jumping ahead during the kiss scene, but the damn thing jumps ahead almost every time it's in a shot. Always ahead, though, never back. There are a lot of references to time, so I think it's important somehow.

[faultyvessel]

Why are you crying about someone who doesn’t even exist?

Sometimes, the scientist isn’t always fine.

Both my “Lubelle bringing about the end of everything” post and my “go to the mirror parallels” post have been swirling about in my head, so it was only a matter of time until they converged into a singular and painful result. I love me a good mirroring quote and of course, Cecil angst.

Carlos can only run from the painful parts of his past for so long, and I get the feeling that if he doesn’t face them soon, things are going to change in a big, possibly drastic, way. With his loved ones in the crossfire.

Text:

(Top box) Cecil’s mom: Why are you crying when you don’t even exist?

(Middle box) Lubelle: Why are you crying about someone who doesn’t exist?

(Bottom box) Carlos: I’m sorry Cecil.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Elijah Kamski x fem!reader - I want your soul

warning : minors don't interact/read, smut, p in v , mirror sex, some oral (f receiving), bondage, fluff/comfort, obsession

Summary : Elijah Kamski the genius behind the androids and their accessories. He was the genius of the most important man. Who was looking for someone to work with him on something. But did a genius like him really need help or was it something else he wanted, sought and needed to create something that would give him something in the end.

Info : Okay I've finally finished writing it I'm not completely satisfied for one thing because I've had this floating around for months and haven't finished it, I'm going to write an extra one with a few more themes that I hadn't done here. I hope the smut is good and the story is not too ripped out as always it should be as realistic as possible. Have fun reading :)

Ps : @thatsthewrongwallcraig I finally did it I hope you are still in your Elijah obsession have fun reading :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Detroid had changed since she was born in 2013, it seemed the whole world had changed. Everything had become more modern, more technological and more efficient.

The whole world wasn't just getting closer to the old movies about the future, it had already overtaken them.

It opened up new paths, more possibilities and development was at a level that made them all but immortal. Until the androids came.

Developed by one man, a genius with an IQ of 171, Elijah Kamski. The young genius who developed the androids became a kind of god to some and the devil to others.

The devil for the people whose jobs he had taken away with the androids. He had everything, at least if you could believe the press and the news.

With the invention of thirium and biocomponent technology, he was also the founder of Cyber Life and the richest man on the planet.

He was the incarnate one. The incarnate one who one day launched a public appeal. Not something for a new project since his retirement in 2028 or an assistant or perhaps a successor.

It was rumors that went around the world but especially in Detroid made waves. Until the announcement came from Elijah himself and it was weirder than they had imagined.

Elijah wasn't looking for a successor, he was looking for a maid to inspire his new projects. It was a headline that the magazines ran with and something that caused a boom, suddenly the whole world seemed to be standing in front of the entrance to Cyber-Life's main building.

No one knew what was waiting for them inside, but they all hoped to work for Kamski. It seemed that only one thing mattered to them all. To see Elija Kamski and his money. Because they all knew he would pay well, or so they said.

The kilometer-long queue that stretched out in front had all kinds of people. Everyone who wanted the job would fight for a place. All except for one person, a young woman who was standing in the queue like everyone else.

She wouldn't necessarily walk over dead bodies and would rather take good advice from him that she needed for her studies or a tip for finances because she didn't have any.

To be honest, she was only here to take advantage of this small, minimal opportunity to get the money to pay for her studies and to pay back her parents who had taken on extra debt. A fact that weighed heavily on her heart.

Which is why she could use the money and paying a publisher to turn her script into a book wasn't cheap either and realizing a dream like that would be nice too. But as much as she wanted to, she had to survive the queue first.

I certainly wouldn't be the first to die because of all this standing, she thought, remembering all the people she had seen with tents and chairs. How they came out of the building with their heads hanging or cursing. They had missed their chance.

But she also felt how her feet had been hurting for hours, she had run out of the university as early as she could and yet she was one of the last. But after hours in which the sun would set again in a few hours anyway, it was finally her turn.

Saw how the entrance gradually came closer and closer. She finally had the chance to get to it. Will he notice? the question popped into her head and she became all the more aware of the notebook in her bag.

She didn't know how she should feel about it. Meeting the man who had fascinated her for as long as she could remember.

Meeting the man who was the lover in her book, everything was exactly the same except for the name. Initially in her late teens it was just a model she had used but now. It was more.

More than she perhaps wanted to admit to herself. ,,Miss, it's your turn," a voice snapped her out of her thoughts and her hand slipped into her pocket. Past her notebook and to her wallet and pulled it out.

She thanked the security guard after he had looked at her ID. Before she went into the building with a pounding heart.

She knew it from videos and pictures she had seen in her primary school days. Vague memories went through her mind as she saw an android approaching her.

It seemed as if they wanted to hold back the free spirit and not let people walk around here freely. Like a fake bird in a real cage. ,,Good afternoon, Miss, would you please follow me," he said and she saw the Led flicker briefly from blue to a brief yellow.

He must be announcing me she thought to herself and followed the android with a smile knowing that many others were hostile towards the machines.

Some even went so far as to beat up and kill the androids that didn't fight back. There were unpleasant headlines about severed body parts belonging to several missing androids. Headlines that sent shivers down her spine.

After all, who said that all the androids wouldn't be dead soon? ,,What is it that Mr. Kamski wants from me?" she asked as they walked through the foyer and stood in an elevator. The android stood in front of her and turned his head slightly towards her.

She saw exactly how his eyes avoided hers for a second before he said, ,,A test to see if you are suitable for the job you are looking for," and turned forward again. The quiet hum of the elevator was between them again and her purse had disappeared back into her pocket.

Her heart seemed to compete with her nervousness as the elevator arrived at the top floor of the building. The floor she had never been on before, at least not then.

It seemed almost unbelievable to be back here now. ,,Please, you have to go through this door, good luck," the android said, pointing to what appeared to be a door in the large white hallway with a few modern paintings, plants and bright lights.

,,Thank you," she mumbled and gave the android a small smile before stepping out of the elevator and walking towards the door.

She heard exactly how the android got back in and she was alone in the hallway. She knew she had to go forward. She finally had to go to the door and felt how each step seemed to get heavier and heavier.

But after a few seconds the moment was over and she put her hand on the handle. Opened the door and stepped into the room where she found the man who would give her a job.

The light in the room was dimmer, not so bright that it stung her eyes, it was most like a foggy afternoon with dark clouds hanging in the sky and the threat of thunderstorms. Her eyes fell on the occupied armchair that stood behind a glass table.

The light illuminated the figure slightly and she saw him. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski," she said, surprised that her voice had held and that she hadn't thrown up from nervousness.

She saw how he leaned forward slightly, the dark strands of his hair framing his face. His bright blue eyes watching her closely as if she were the machine to him and the androids were the humans.

As he briefly pointed to the chair she should sit down on, she obeyed his silent command, her slightly trembling fingers pulling the chair back and sitting down. The slight clatter of her bag seemed to be too loud in the room before she turned her gaze forward.

His eyes met hers and she almost forgot to breathe for a moment. He was everything. He seemed like it came from her imagination, the pictures, videos and articles. ,,Do you think an android can get nervous?" his voice suddenly rang out, so engaging that it seemed to drown out her heartbeat.

The question echoed in her head over and over again. ,,N-no I mean yes" she began to stammer and felt the warmth jump to her ears and cheeks.

Oh god pull yourself together! she screamed at herself in her head, swallowing the lump in her throat and digging her fingers into her jeans. ,,Yes... I do think that androids can get nervous. There are... deviants who show emotions, they are human too," she replied and looked up from her lap to the older one again.

Saw how he had tilted his head slightly. His gaze looked as if he was considering whether he should throw her out or do it himself.

,,So you're implying that androids are human? Are you questioning my work?" he asked, smirking as he could practically see the gears turning in her head. She was apparently trying to guess which answer was the right one.

After a few more seconds of silence, he saw in her gaze that she had found her answer. ,,No, I don't question it, I would say that it shows that the relationship between humans and androids is maybe doing something... maybe human," she dared to put up her tese and saw first to her fear how the small smile on his lips disappeared.

His bright eyes looked at her almost incredulously as if she had deeply offended him. I'll never get a job, she thought to herself and was about to reach for her bag when she heard the sound of paper.

,,Come to this address next week and have your tessellation completed Miss," he said and felt him put a card in her hand. She had it. She had the job.

She had finally got it. ,,Thank you! I mean thank you very much Mr. Kamski, I'll come," she said and grabbed her bags before walking out of the room. The big smile on her lips spoke for itself as the android seemed to rejoice with her on her way out.

But in that time, she hadn't even thought about what it meant to be with him. To move in with him, to be with him for more than just minutes or hours. Forever.

Because a mind infused with devotion and emotion overlooks the obvious. Overlooks the gaze of obsession.

The gaze of possession. The gaze of the rich and their greed for everything. Oh, he would do so much more with her than just have her around.

But she did what he said and came to the address on Monday of the next week. His house was out of town, secluded by roads, woods and rocks.

But when she parked her small car in front of the house, armed only with a bag, she realized once again what this meant. I feel like a little kid at Christmas, she thought as she walked up the stairs to his door. It was the season of winter, snow was slowly falling from the sky and looking behind her she saw the landscape slowly turning white.

Her coat kept her warm and the hat on her head kept her ears from freezing. Ringing the bell, she tried to concentrate on the time in front of her, not the cold.

A smile on her lips turned into a surprised look when a blonde woman opened the door for her. ,,Hello, you're Miss Sun right?" she asked the blonde woman who seemed as perfect as only an angel could be.

An android. ,,Yes, I am Mr. Kamski had given me his address for the job," she replied and saw that the blonde woman stepped aside to let her in. ,,Mr. Kamski is expecting you, please take a seat in the living room," she said, a small smile playing around her lips before she gestured towards the room.

The house was too big for one man to live in. But as she walked through the hallways and doors, the dark walls, saw the colorful paintings and the markings, she realized how different they were.

She was nothing compared to him and yet he had chosen her. He had seen something in her, something that set her apart from the others.

But what? What was it? Putting the bag down next to the table, she found herself in the living room. Didn't know whether she should sit down or not. Instead, she stood next to the table and looked around the room.

Only heard muffled footsteps coming towards her, the door opened and he came out. He came out of another part of the house. A black bathrobe on his body, she saw that his hair was still slightly wet, she could see a little of his upper body.

But his gaze, his bright eyes seemed to focus only on her, despite his appearance, he had lost none of his look. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski, your housekeeper said I should come here...I can wait too," she said and was about to reach for her bag when she heard his grin.

A smirk that led to an amused smile. ,,No, I wanted you to be here and that's why you're here. I suppose you found your way here all right?" he asked, but his interest was clear. She sensed that it wasn't about her life. It should be about her.

It was supposed to be about her work and what was going on inside her. ,,Yes, I did, I also revised my thesis again... Mr. Kamski could you tell me what the job is about now?" she asked as she watched him make himself a green protein shake, mixing the powder with the vegetables, the blender surprisingly quiet.

But he remained silent as he calmly made his drink before walking past her, gesturing for her to follow him. Grabbing her handbag, she followed him, not knowing whether she should walk beside him or behind him.

But she opted for the latter, not wanting to push her luck too far. She didn't want to compete with him. But why? Do I even have a chance? she asked herself and almost walked into him when he stopped.

,,Your room is all yours, I know it might be unpleasant but I would ask you to stay here. As far as my work is concerned, quick communication is essential," he said, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her. She watched as she looked around the room a little.

The room was three times the size of her own small room. Cave it could probably even fit her entire apartment in here. Staying here? For how long? the question popped up in her head and she looked at him slightly questioningly.

She saw that he knew what she was getting at and took a sip of his drink. ,,I don't think for a few more weeks...it depends on how good you are...oh and please just call me Elijah," he dismissed her with those words, closing the door behind him and taking her nervousness with him.

Her glance at her bag let her know that she had to go back to her apartment to pick up her things, but that she had still taken her book with her.

The words she had written about him, being in his house, working for him. ,,I really did it," she muttered and proudly began to unpack her things, set up her room and took her things with her. She tried to find Elijah only to run into Chloe who let her know that Elijah was at work.

Letting her know when he needed her to get her things. Which is why she found herself back in her apartment less than an hour later. Had walked back to the exit, past the pictures and cameras, past the Chloes and past his gaze without realizing it.

She didn't see what he was doing, she just knew she had to do something to formulate her thesis. And when she came back, she saw him again eating a salad at the table in the living room, but this time he wasn't wearing a coat.

He was wearing normal jeans, a dark shirt and glasses. ,,I see you're back, I'd like to read your thesis the day after tomorrow. To understand what's going on inside you," he said and gave her a slight smile. She felt her heart beat faster again, she agreed and went back to her room with her things. The smile on her lips was unmistakable.

Just as unmistakable as his approval. She did as he said as she joined him in his office, his workroom full of various technical things. ,,Elijah, I have my thesis," she said as she stepped inside after knocking and the door opened, she saw him working on an android model.

It was a construct of wires, metal and the pump that symbolized the heart, yet human features were recognizable.

He looked up from his work and something like surprise flashed in his gaze as if he was realizing something before he gave her a satisfied look and motioned her to his desk.

She handed him her tese and he grinned as he felt the paper in his hands. ,,Old-fashioned and yet not corruptibly good," he said as he took the paper properly before he began to read it. she remained standing next to him, watching his eyes run over the sentences.

He became more and more lost in her work, absorbing her words and becoming more and more absorbed in them. ,,Perfection, your idea of something non-living... very good, I'm proud. I would like you to design a model of it for me more deep thought" he baht she had turned towards her his hand had placed itself on her shoulder.

She felt his warmth, although she had always thought of him as cold, he was warm. He was welcoming and he made her heart beat faster, leaving her proud as he held her tese before giving her a smile and watching her walk out of the room.

Not knowing what his thoughts turned to as he went back to his latest project. Her thesis would help him. Everything would be perfect.

But she did what he said, worked on her work, didn't question him, wouldn't and shouldn't. Ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with him. Caught herself listening in the house to see if he was awake to go to the kitchen and make breakfast.

Usually did it with Chloe, who didn't need any sleep. The two of them talked and laughed and she forgot that the blonde was an android.

Forgetting what was happening around her, what was happening out in the world, what had ever happened. Because what she had was here. A job, a friend and a man who admired her and gave her support.

Or did she? Could she describe her life like this? How long had she been with him - days, weeks or even months? How often had she sat with him, revised her work and written down her inner life? What had happened?

,,My dear I will invite you to dinner and would like you to carry this here" she mumbled the words on the small card that lay on the gift wrapping paper that held something with fabric inside.

Unwrapping the gift, she saw the dark fabric of the dress and held it in front of her body. She could feel how expensive it must be, it was perfectly tailored to her body.

It was perfect in every way. As she stood in front of the mirror, she looked at herself in it and for a moment felt like she was on the same level as him. Was with him to the point that she meant something to him.

And she caught herself thinking that the only thing missing was the gold ring on her hand. But had she turned like this or had he made her like this? Did he want to make her like this? Or was everything bigger than he thought in the end? Was she programmed from the beginning to react like this, was it her feelings?

Was it his creation? She didn't let her thoughts get in the way and continued by putting red lipstick on her lips. She took one last look in the mirror before leaving her room. Hearing the clack of her shoes in the hallway, she walked into the dining room, finding no Chloe or any of her friends on her way.

She found only the silence of the house and heard the classical music coming from one of the rooms like a rhythm, the sounds played over and over again as she arrived in the candlelit room. ,,You look beautiful, I'm glad you put it on," he said, giving her the appearance of a choice she didn't have.

After all, what kind of woman would she be if she didn't comply with his request. ,,Thank you for the dress and the invitation," she replied, her gaze dropping for a moment before she saw him step into her field of vision, taking her hand and feeling his warmth as he led her to the table.

,,It's a multi-course meal to thank you for your work," he began, placing the first course of food, a simple soup, before reaching for the bottle of wine and pouring them both a glass.

She saw him sit down opposite her and they both ate in silence. But it wasn't unpleasant, on the contrary, the food, the sound of the cutlery and the music in the background created an atmosphere of comfort.

She couldn't see what was hiding behind his gaze as he concentrated on her. ,,Sorry I haven't had so much time for you in the last few days and weeks," he said, almost too suddenly, as he put down the spoon, his look apologetic but his voice seeming out of place. He was inappropriate.

A man who had spent time under machines could show emotion. ,,It's perfectly all right... I'm very glad we have this," she replied and finished her soup, not wanting to break the atmosphere.

She did as she was told before they got to the end of the meal and she didn't know what to do. She didn't have to because Elijah got up from his seat and walked over to her, offering her his hand before she walked next to him for the first time. His hand was on hers as they both walked towards his office.

His gaze was on her, watching her, looking for anything wrong. ,,I've taken the liberty of creating a new prototype...your notes and work helped" he began and walked over to the machine knowing she was listening to him, knowing she would do anything for him from this point on. He handed her the table with the data and watched as she looked over it, fascination in her eyes for his work.

He knew that she would always admire him, it didn't take much but he had read it. He had read her book and knew that she was truly the right person for his purpose.

That his inner self was right, his genius was right, his obsession was right. She let the shapes and processes on the table before she suddenly felt his hand on her shoulder.

He touched her in all the time she had been with him, he had never fully touched her now only when she had done something well. ,,What did I do well?" she asked, turning to him, the device with the thin screen still in her hand.

She kept still wanting more from him, the bond between them still far too strong. He saw her as his and she saw herself as his wife. It was and would be between them. It was her devotion in her brain for him, and it was his desire for her as his wife. For someone perfect.

,,Everything my love...you have no idea...what you've done to me," he murmured and she felt his other hand on her shoulder as he continued to touch her, praising her for something she couldn't do.

,,Can I do something for my existence?" she asked her inner question out to him, hearing his smirk, smelling the metal, the aftershave, snow and wine. Smelled him. Felt him so close to her and yet she didn't move. Stood still like someone waiting for an order.

Something he liked to have her the way he wanted her. Like an android. ,,You can help what you do... tell me, do you want to be free for a moment?" he asked, his hand moving over her shoulder and down to her hand. He gripped the tray and gave her the freedom to decide for a moment.

She could walk away or she could stay and give it to him. And she did. She gave it to him. ,,Free? But we're free, aren't we?" she asked, not knowing what he meant as he took the tray from her. Leaving the first kiss on her neck before he slowly moved her past the.

The office, like everything else, was just a pretext which she seemed to realize but it made no sense, it didn't matter, there was just the two of them and that should be enough. She hadn't been what she used to be for a long time.

But it didn't matter, it was about him and her, not about what had happened. She felt him leave more kisses on her skin as the doors opened in front of them and she felt the warmth on her cheeks, a natural reaction when she saw his bedroom. Dark walls reddish abstract paintings on the walls.

One might have thought that the pictures hid the portrait of a woman, but what did she know. At most, he saw her in the colors. Because he wanted to. Because understanding told him so. She felt him next to her, his hands gripped hers, her shy gaze found his.

Her uncertain, his almost demanding, the glasses helped him to see her better, even if he didn't need them. He would have her anyway. He slowly placed his hand on her side and pulled her close.

On the contrary, the closer he touched her, the more intimate she became. The more she wanted him. ,,That's it," he said with a murmur, apparently listening to her thoughts before she felt his lips on hers, kissing his warmth over her as she clung to him, almost searching.

He wanted the kiss more knew he was getting it. But she gladly gave herself to him. She felt safe. He had given her a job, given her a dress, given her everything.

Now it was only fair that she gave him something back, wasn't it? It was always like that. She only felt a dull sensation as he moved to her back and unzipped the expensive fabric flowing from her body. She stepped out of her shoes as if automatically, not wanting it to be over like this.

She wanted to please him without realizing that she was doing just that. ,,I've liked you ever since I saw you... like a perfection for me," he said, taking away her fear as he went to the bed, leaving her standing there, almost confused and full of shame.

The warmth on her cheeks increased as she felt flattered and crawled towards him on the bed, knowing that he was watching her, not hiding the fact that he found her attractive.

That he saw exactly how her nipples had hardened slightly from the cold. That his hands lay on the fabric and her shaky exhale. He had her body to himself, had her to himself. ,,Elijah you-me...you are everything," she murmured, knowing it was her mind veiled in lust.

The spirit that longed for Elijah wanted more. Wanted more of his touch. ,,I know that... I know everything, my love," he whispered to her, pulling her into another kiss before he let his hand wander over her breast again. He felt her shudder. ,,Poor girl...all these months without touch or pleasure...without me," he said, watching her.

Watched her through his Chloe's or had to know. Had given him lust without her knowing who his cameras were. She had shown him everything he needed to know. Always in the quiet of the night, he had touched himself to see what she had done.

He pulled her onto his lap, feeling her quick pulse as he kissed her neck, beginning to leave colorful marks on it, her warmth mingling with his as she held onto the cover in the dark bed.#

His hand that was not on her breast moved to her thigh. She felt her hips thrust out towards him, full of devotion, needing him. ,,I'm going to make you feel good look" he whispered to her biting lightly into her lobe hearing her shaky exhale feeling her lust could feel the tingling in her body as his rough fingers slipped under her bra.

Moaning his name, she pressed herself against him, feeling his own arousal against her back, yet he focused on her. Wanted to see her fall apart when he actually touched her.

She opened her half-closed eyes and looked at herself and Elijah out loud in surprise. Her own reflection in the mirror built into the closet. ,,Beautiful forever," he whispered to her and she moaned as she let his fingers wander over her center.

It was different where her fingers weren't even close enough, his seemed so much better. He felt her wetness through the fabric of her underwear, took his hand from her breast and let it wander over her body. Leaving red scratches, small bites, marks and kisses.

Driving her on as he repeatedly focused his attention on the little bundle of nerves. As her voice filled the room, the classical music drowning in it, he was also completely hard but with each of her shaky movements his hardness got some relief.

He rubbed himself lightly against her his breathing was slightly shaky and yet it made no difference. Because he dealt with her. Giving her more of what she wanted while his blue eyes were on her. Her gaze on the mirror. The trembling spread to her legs as she begged him for more.

But he knew he had watched her closely and knew when she was slowly coming to the end. ,,Look at you, darling... everything just for me," he continued to murmur, finally wanting to show her. His finger moved out of her only to add another one, keeping her better than her own, her hips in rhythm with him. His praise took her mind away.

His pace increased, her trembling increased and when he heard her murmur he knew she was nearing climax. ,,El-Elijah please," she said, resting her head on his shoulder, finally wanting to let go, her fingers digging into the dark bed. He gave her body more kisses before he gave her the okay.

He took his hand from her breast and gripped her jaw, forcing her to look at herself in the mirror. She fell apart around him with a throaty moan.

He pulled out of her, her heavy-breathing form relaxing to just a sporadic twitch of her legs as she came down from her high. Closing her eyes, he withdrew from her. Licked his hand clean and slowly pushed her away. Watched as she still wasn't completely back, but she didn't have to be. ,,Thank you for your time, my dear," he said, hearing only a murmur, but his gaze went to the mirror.

A flicker caused the android behind it to take away the image of the mirror, the projection disappeared and her image emerged in the form of the android.

,,I have recorded all the data, sir," said the android's voice, turning her gaze away from her human image. ,,Very well, interpret the data I want perfection darling," he said and his hand passed over hers but warmth met cold. The coldness of a machine before it went out. He was left alone with his muse, his darling.

Saw that she was asleep saw that she was unaware. Didn't know what his search for her had driven her to. ,,Sleep well my love," he said and withdrew from her, opening and closing the door. Left her alone.

Until he wanted her again, knowing that she would give him everything. That he had rebuilt her so that when her human shell died, he had her eternally living one. She was his, right down to her soul, she belonged to him and always had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[odetolithium]

Snapetober 2024 Masterlist

⋆ angst, hurt/comfort, severitus ⋆

Day 1 - Warmth

TW: domestic abuse

There's a warmth to the voice of his mother, especially when she reads to him. 968 words

Day 2 - Garden

Severus escapes a heated Order meeting for a smoke, Sirius has the same idea. 740 words

Day 3 - Haunt

Young Severus visits his usual haunt on his free evening. 879 words

Day 4 - Torn

Severus visits Grimmauld Place after he's forced to kill his mentor. 227 words

Day 5 - Pillow

Severus experiences his first night at Hogwarts. 455 words

Day 6 - Roots

Harry is in detention, and Severus notices something is off. 657 words

Day 7 - Flame

Young Severus wants to do something nice for his mother's birthday. Making a cup of tea shouldn't be this hard. 314 words

Day 8 - Cosy

TW: suicide ideation

Severus cannot cope in the aftermath of Lily's death. Grieving in his bedroom, he is visited by an old friend. 594 words

Day 9 - Morning

Insomnia rears its ugly head, Severus takes a walk. 287 words

Day 10 - Dream

Severus looks after his most vulnerable students. He knows the pain of sleepless nights. 352 words

Day 11 - Buried

Severus is struggling to stay on top of all his roles and responsibilities. Minerva notices. 477 words

Day 12 - Victory

The news of Voldemort's demise reaches Hogwarts, Severus knows Lily hasn't survived. 250 words

Day 13 - Journey

TW: self-harm

Madam Pomfrey has always looked after Severus, his deteriorating mental health concerns her. 286 words

Day 14 - Trick

Lupin attempts to apologise after "the prank", Severus has enough to deal with. 555 words

Day 15 - Treat

Lily celebrates Sev's birthday, he's not used to the fuzzy feelings that come with the fuss 302 words

Day 16 - Tangle After a torturous evening with the Dark Lord, Severus is suffering with fever-induced visions. 466 words

Day 17 - Mirror Severus would be dead but at least Harry could see him. 187 words

Day 18 - Hush

Severus meets the new DADA teacher, facing his bully after all these years. 487 words

Day 19 - Discovery

Severus discovers Harry's secret and Umbridge's torture methods. 675 words

Day 20 - Fantasy

All his life, Severus wanted to believe in happy endings. 171 words

Day 21 - Play

TW: bullying and implied abuse

No one ever wanted to know Severus until Lily found him. 672 words Day 22 - Youth

The Dark Lord has returned. Severus considers the youth who will bear the consequences. 385 words

Day 23 - Watched

TW: self-harm

Severus is struggling with the return of the Dark Lord. He knows things are only going to get worse. Albus knows how much he suffers. 839 words

Day 24 - Shadow

TW: implied child abuse

Harry didn't expect Snape to find him in the hospital wing. He didn't expect him to be so attentive. 663 words

Day 25 - Doorway

TW: self-harm and implied suicide attempt

Severus was found trying to destroy the mark on his arm after he learns Lily is dead. Poppy and Minerva try to keep him safe. 324 words

[enjoy-purple-skies]

thank you to that post i saw in passing that said to get a mirror while listening to wtnv 171 - go to the mirror? because now i’m Freaked Out

also cecil’s voice acting in this episode is *chef kiss* muah muah. he made me remember that i also used to be scared of mirrors & used to cover them with a cloth as well :) fun childhood days inside a haunted house aren’t they :)