#14. Blended learning

[arodykeism]

and you dont know what to do with it

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

i am So shy with black eyeshadow i get so nervous about applying it due to potential fallout (i always do my base makeup before eye makeup) + the black shadows i have are NOT pigmented enough after being blended out so i HAVE to pack them on

will i EVER get over this affliction

[astrologydray]

Lilith through the Degrees😫😫

0° – The Raw Rebel

Lilith’s energy is undiluted and intense here. This person is unapologetically rebellious and often triggers strong reactions from others without trying. They exude raw, untamed power.

1° – The Independent One

Lilith at this degree craves absolute independence. There’s a fearless, pioneering quality, but also a tendency to push others away due to a “me against the world” mindset.

2° – The Sensual Siren

A deeply magnetic energy—whether consciously or not, these people attract strong desires and obsessions from others. There’s a connection to pleasure, beauty, and indulgence.

3° – The Trickster

Lilith at this degree has a playful but chaotic nature. There’s an ability to manipulate situations, often without even realizing it. Words and wit are weapons here.

4° – The Silent Power

A deeply reserved yet unshakable presence. They don’t need to scream to be intimidating—just their energy alone makes people respect (or fear) them.

5° – The Free Spirit

Lilith here refuses to be boxed in by tradition or rules. There’s a strong urge to break societal norms, especially regarding gender roles, relationships, or creative expression.

6° – The Forbidden Healer

Lilith at this degree has a deep connection to pain, healing, and transformation. They may attract wounded souls or play the role of a guide, but their wisdom often comes from personal suffering.

7° – The Seductive Mind

A mix of mystery and intelligence—people with this placement can be dangerously charming. They know exactly what to say to pull others in (or push them away).

8° – The Power Player

Lilith at 8° is all about control, dominance, and influence. These individuals either own their power or find themselves caught in power struggles with others.

9° – The Untamed Dreamer

A deeply idealistic yet rebellious energy. This person may struggle with feeling trapped in reality, constantly seeking a life that is wilder, freer, and more meaningful.

10° – The Social Rule-Breaker

Lilith here challenges societal structures. They may be known for rejecting authority, questioning norms, or reshaping institutions in a way that benefits the “outsiders.”

11° – The Unpredictable One

This degree gives Lilith an erratic, electric energy. Others can’t predict them, and that makes them both intriguing and intimidating. There’s a genius-madness balance here.

12° – The Illusionist

Lilith at 12° is skilled at blending in while secretly staying untamed. They can play the role society expects, only to break free when least expected. A master of deception.

13° – The Boundary Destroyer

This placement rejects restrictions—whether it’s in relationships, spirituality, or lifestyle choices. They may also struggle with blurred personal boundaries, either craving total control or none at all.

14° – The Enigmatic Siren

A powerful mix of intellect and seduction. These people often have a quiet magnetism that makes others curious about them. They attract attention without even trying.

15° – The Shadow Walker

Lilith at 15° moves between light and darkness with ease. They may feel drawn to taboo topics, the occult, or hidden power structures. Their presence alone can feel haunting.

16° – The Unchained Heart

They crave absolute emotional and physical freedom. Relationships must be equal and liberating, or they’ll run. This degree can also make them immune to emotional manipulation.

17° – The Disruptor

Lilith here embodies chaos as a catalyst for change. They may struggle with constantly being “too much” for others, but their rebellious energy forces necessary growth.

18° – The Dark Visionary

A deep connection to hidden truths, psychic insights, and underground power. Lilith at this degree often challenges people’s comfort zones with their ideas, art, or energy.

19° – The Siren’s Curse

Magnetic but dangerous—Lilith at 19° attracts obsessive energy from others. They have an intense, hypnotic aura but must learn to protect their own energy from toxicity.

20° – The Unforgiving One

Lilith here holds grudges forever. If betrayed, they will burn bridges without hesitation. Others may see them as cold or detached, but they simply refuse to tolerate disrespect.

21° – The Wild Wanderer

They reject routine, comfort zones, and anything that feels too safe. Lilith at 21° is a cosmic drifter, always searching for a new thrill, experience, or untamed passion.

22° – The Ruthless Strategist

Lilith at this degree is calculating, patient, and in full control of their power. They don’t act impulsively—they move like a chess player, always ten steps ahead.

23° – The Hypnotic Rebel

A rebellious nature that draws people in rather than pushing them away. They challenge norms so effortlessly that others feel naturally compelled to follow them.

24° – The Forbidden Lover

A highly seductive yet elusive energy. This placement often involves themes of taboo love, forbidden attraction, or power struggles in relationships.

25° – The Untouchable One

They have an air of mystique and danger that makes others obsessed—but they remain emotionally distant. People want to figure them out, but they rarely let anyone in.

26° – The Unbreakable Force

Lilith at 26° is resilient and relentless. No matter how many times they’re knocked down, they come back stronger. Others may fear their ability to rise from the ashes.

27° – The Subtle Destroyer

They don’t look like a troublemaker, but their mere presence challenges the status quo. Their power lies in their quiet defiance—they dismantle systems from the inside.

28° – The Cosmic Witch

Lilith here is deeply spiritual, intuitive, and connected to the unseen. They often feel like an outsider in this world, drawn to magic, astrology, or esoteric knowledge.

29° – The Fated Femme Fatale

A karmic placement—Lilith at 29° feels destined for intense, transformative experiences. They may struggle with being either feared or desired, but never ignored.

[daryltwdixon]

Summary: Being raised by a survivalist father meant learning two things: endure at all costs, and trust no one. And you lived by those rules, even after he was gone, surviving alone in a world that never gave second chances. But enduring becomes far more complicated when a familiar face returns, burdened with a fierce young girl and a mission that was never meant to include you. When you're forced from the only home you’ve ever known, survival is no longer just about the next meal or the next breath—it’s about who you become when there’s no way back. You’ve spent years believing your father’s lessons—that needing people is a sign of weakness. But as the miles stretch on, as survival becomes more than just a fight for the next day, one truth becomes harder to ignore—you can’t live by your father’s rule of trusting no one anymore.

And one man makes following that rule damn near impossible.

Themes: Joel miller x reader slow burn romance, post-outbreak, grief, healing, angst & longing.

Warnings: canon-type violence, death, depictions of grief and trauma, age gap romance, suicide (referenced, not graphic), intimacy and eventual smut. 18+ only MDNI, but I can't control what you do so discretion is advised.

Other: reader is afab, long hair (enough to grab, put up in a ponytail) may be mentioned. no other physical characteristics. graphics do not reflect character description, only used for vibes. Follows Season 1 of The Last of Us. Blend of show and game canon. Picture Joel as you prefer, but I will be mentioning Pedro Pascal's brown eyes. No use of Y/N. In the beginning of the story, time hops are not canon.

mood boards: Bill's Daughter | The Road So Far | You & Joel | A Lonely Day | Her Peace | Teaser Trailer

Prologue

Before: 5 Years Old

Before: 10 Years Old

Before: 15 Years Old

Before: 18 Years Old

Before: 20 Years Old

Before: 23 Years Old

Now: 25 Years Old

Chapter 1: Joel and Ellie

Chapter 2: Escape

Chapter 3: The Envelope

Chapter 4: Fungus Ain't That Smart

Chapter 5: Kansas City

Chapter 6: The Climb

Chapter 7: Turret

Chapter 8: Strangers

Chapter 9: Spotlight

Chapter 10: Into the Water

Chapter 11: The Suburbs

Chapter 12: Fight and Flight

Chapter 13: Breaking Point

Chapter 14: One Month Later

Chapter 15: Jackson

Chapter 16: Thresholds

Chapter 17: Thinking of You

Chapter 18: Betrayal

Chapter 19: On the Road Again

Chapter 20: The Basement

Chapter 21: David

Chapter 22: Capture

Chapter 23: Blood and Fire

Chapter 24: What Comes After

Chapter 25: Waterways

Chapter 26: What Was Lost and What Was Taken

Epilogue

Ever After

Four Years Later

more coming soon

Hey, you beautiful, amazing people.

I don’t even know where to start, but thank you. Seriously. From the bottom of my heart: to everyone who read, liked, reblogged, screamed in the tags, sent me messages, or just silently followed along—you made this story so much more than I ever imagined.

Every comment, every reaction, every little freak-out over a scene made my day (and honestly fueled me to keep going). The way you connected with this story, these characters—it means everything. Writing this was one thing, but experiencing it with all of you? That was the best part.

So, to everyone who stuck with me, whether from the beginning or just recently—thank you for being here. Thank you for caring. Thank you for making this so special.

I love you all. Truly.

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 14

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 13 | Series Masterlist | Part 15

Chapter Word Count: Over 5k

Chapter Summary: The manager of The Red Room gives you a little advice regarding your situation with Bucky.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, backstory, reference to stalking, hopelessness. inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! I realize some of this may feel like filler, but it's happening for a reason. Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Ray kept a close but respectable distance as he took you to his car. It was similar to the vehicle he drove Bucky around in, but a slightly different shade of black that wasn’t as flashy. You should've spotted it sooner, but you weren’t exactly looking for it, were you?

“Have you just been driving around following me all day?” you asked once you were in the car.

“I followed you on foot, too. I’m good at blending in,” he said, giving you a sideways glance as he buckled up and made sure you were buckled up, too. There was no boasting in his statement, just truth. “It wouldn't surprise me if I’m the one asked to stay nearby when you join your friends on Saturday.”

“But perhaps if she really does want to go and you’re unable to accompany her, boss, someone could discreetly keep an eye on her.”

With his looks and massive build, he shouldn’t be able to blend in so easily. How many people paid that close attention to their surroundings though? You hadn’t before. You needed to be on guard more. And what was that going to do to your stress levels?

At least it would be Ray watching if he was asked and not one of Bucky’s other friends.

“Well, I hope watching me drink wine doesn't bore you,” you said, glancing out the window as he drove off, watching the cars and people go by. “How did you get so good at what you do?”

“Making sure you're safe doesn't bore me,” he said. Ironic considering his boss put you in danger. “And I think that’s a story for another time.”

Ray said he had been working for Bucky for a few years. You wondered just how they met. There had to be a story there. “Do you ever think about walking away from it?” you asked curiously, bringing your gaze back to him while he kept his eyes on the road. “I mean, you have a life outside of this, right?”

Did he have family? Friends? A loved one? He had to have a hobby at least. Something.

He tapped a finger on the steering wheel. “Do you think one simply walks away?”

“No, I guess not,” you replied. It was unlikely that you would ever escape, but you didn’t know how it was for people who willingly ran in circles with men like Bucky. You still had a lot to learn. “But I’d like to think there’s hope for you if that’s what you want.”

“I appreciate the hope and I don’t want you to lose that,” he said, sparing you a sad glance. “But you should place it elsewhere.”

Where exactly would you place that hope when Bucky continued to infect everything in your life?

You nodded once, feeling a bit sad for him, too. He just seemed different from the others Bucky surrounded himself with. “Sorry for the questions.”

“Don't apologize,” he said, tapping the steering wheel again. “It’s nice that you care enough to ask.”

You smiled to yourself, content to sit in silence after that. Grabbing your phone from your bag, you aimlessly scrolled through your messages and stopped at Bucky’s name. There were no new messages, but would he send something at the stroke of midnight? And if he was in a mood without you around and Ray eventually told him that Zemo introduced himself to you, what would he do?

“We’re here,” Ray said after a minute, parking his car in front of a tall, sleek building and getting out. He held up a hand to stop the valet from opening the door for you, opting to help you out himself. “This way.”

The sleek theme continued as you went into the lobby and you understood why it was called The Red Room. The color was everywhere, balanced out by a mix of black and gray and soft lighting. The nearby sofa and chairs looked high-quality, as did the art. It appeared to be an oasis of luxury and a place for a well deserved break.

You stopped Ray before you got to the desk. “How much is a room? I get paid tomorrow, but…” You had some money in savings you could transfer over to cover what was surely an expensive cost.

“You haven't checked your account today, have you?”

Taking out your phone with a furrowed brow, you quickly logged into your bank account. An embarrassing squeak came out when you saw the amount, your eyes wide as you looked between your phone and Ray. That had to be some sort of mistake. There was no way…

Bucky.

“He put money in my account?” you whispered, double checking the amount to make sure your eyes weren't deceiving you. Why did he do that? “I can't…”

“He did and he won't take it back if you try,” Ray confirmed. “Regardless of how much you now have, if my boss found out that I suggested you stay here and made you pay he’d have my head.”

“Well, what’s the point of having this money then?” you pressed.

Not that you intended to use it. Spending even a dime of it would likely encourage Bucky to give you more. Or was it a test to see if you would spend it? Would he know if you did?

Maybe, just maybe, you could get Addison and Brady a nice wedding gift.

“To make sure you're taken care of in every possible way,” he said, gesturing to you to move forward.

“Welcome to The Red Room,” a woman in a black dress smiled, Ingrid from the name on her tag. “Do you have a reservation?”

“We do not,” Ray said, sliding a card over. “And I’ll need to speak with Natalia regarding a room, please.”

“Natalia?” Ingrid’s smile didn’t slip, but a hardened look took over her eyes and you suddenly felt uncomfortable. “I’m afraid that’s-”

“It’s fine, Ingrid. I’ll be happy to take care of them.” A redhead in a similar black dress walked over, her heels echoing on the marble floor. She carried herself with grace and power and looked like she could snap your neck without breaking a sweat. So did Ingrid for that matter. “Why don’t you go on break?”

“Of course.” Ingrid’s smile was back on her face. “Enjoy your stay,” she added, gliding away.

“Raymond. Good to see you,” Natalia said, her voice warm as he gave her a nod. “You’ll have to excuse Ingrid. She gets a little protective when anyone asks for Natalia. You know you're one of the only men around who still calls me that.”

“It’s your name, is it not?” he asked, though her tag read Natasha.

“Indeed it is. Maybe one day you’ll call me Natasha,” she said, cocking an eyebrow at you. You didn’t think she was judging you, but you still felt a little self conscious under her gaze. “I wasn't supposed to meet you until later. I also expected Bucky to be with you when that happened.”

You held your breath before you remembered that Ray said the manager had worked with Bucky before. “So you know who I am,” you said. For Bucky to preach about your safety, a lot of people were aware of who you were. “Does everyone know who I am?”

The corner of her lip quirked up. “Not everyone,” she said, turning her attention to Ray. “Why is she here early? Did something happen?”

“She needs a place to stay for the night and she’s not to be disturbed. That includes my boss.”

She raised an eyebrow again. “Understood. I’ll give her suite 213 and put you just across the hall.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard before she slid the card back to Ray. “Follow me.��

“Isn’t a suite a bit much?” you asked. And for Ray to pay for that, you had to pay him back somehow.

She paused to stare at you. “All of the rooms here are nice, but the suites are a bit more spacious. It’ll give you room to breathe while you relax,” she gently spoke. “You look like you could use some rest.”

Did she know the extent of what you had gone through? You weren’t claustrophobic but with Bucky smothering you, breathing and rest didn’t come to you as easily. “I appreciate that,” you said. A spacious area would feel nice.

She nodded, pressing the elevator button. “You’re also welcome to book anything in the spa at no charge and whatever you’d like from the restaurant or room service menu is on the house.”

You gaped at her. “So because I’m Bucky’s girl, you’ll just give me these things for free?” you asked, noticing that she stood on one side of you and Ray on the other. “I mean, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but there’s no need for the special treatment.”

Everyone so far in Bucky’s circle fawned over you. But what had you done to earn anything? Nothing. All you did was catch the eye of a powerful man.

“Nothing in life is free. There’s a price for everything,” she said above a whisper. “And I know you’re not ungrateful. You’re just not used to it.”

You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it since you grew up with the belief that you had to work for what you were given. “You asked why I was here early. When exactly was I supposed to meet you?”

“Not to spoil the surprise, but Bucky booked a dinner reservation and our best suite for a romantic evening.” She gave Ray a glance, who didn’t look too pleased. “I think he plans to tell you the day of, if I had to guess.”

“Wonderful,” you muttered, a shiver running through your body. You weren't an idiot. If Bucky booked a suite for the two of you, he’d expect you to sleep with him.

“I thought you were good at keeping secrets, Natalia,” Ray uttered.

“I’m very good at keeping secrets that are actually worth keeping, Raymond,” she retorted.

“I’m glad you told me,” you said. In her defense, you asked a question and she gave you an almost direct answer. “Besides, it’s just another thing to add to the list of ‘surprises’ for today. Bucky having Ray follow me. Meeting Zemo.”

“Zemo?” She didn’t give anything away, but she gave Ray another look. This guy didn’t seem to have a lot of fans. “You met Zemo? When?”

“He introduced himself to me at the park just before we came here,” you replied.

She pursed her lips when the elevator door opened. “I can’t wait to hear how Bucky responds to that.”

Your stomach sank. You saw what he did to John after he insulted you. Zemo likely wouldn’t fare much better, but he also seemed to be a bigger player in whatever went on in the city.

“Will you let me do a sweep before she goes in?” Ray asked before Natasha could open the door.

“No one has been in this room and no one knew you were coming here, but I know you'll be chewed out if you don’t,” she said, stepping aside for him.

“You’re not planning to bug the place, are you, Ray?” You didn’t want to think he would, but you had to ask.

He didn’t look offended by the question. If anything, he seemed to understand your concern. “This is meant to be a safe haven for the rest of the day. I won’t take that from you,” he promised, shutting the door behind him. It was nice to have him somewhat on your side, even in the smallest capacity.

The hall was eerily quiet as you stood alone with the redhead. Your gaze darted back and forth, expecting Bucky to waltz in and tell you that this wasn’t a haven at all. That he’d drag you to the suite bed and do whatever he pleased.

“I’ve been told you have a kind heart,” Natasha said, bringing your attention back to her. “That’s good for Bucky.”

“Is it?” you asked, looking down the hall again.

“Relax,” she urged. “You don’t have to feel nervous here. You’re safe.”

“You work with Bucky, so I’m naturally going to feel nervous and suspicious,” you said. You wouldn’t apologize for that. “How much do you know about me?”

“A man named Jake who does security and surveillance works for both Bucky and I. When Bucky needed him for an extended period of time, I was naturally curious as to why. He gave me just enough pieces to put the puzzle together.”

“So you know I’m trapped,” you said. She had to know it wasn’t a consensual relationship.

“More or less,” she said.

“And let me guess. This Jake guy specializes in bugs and listening devices?”

“Hmm. So you know about the bugs,” she said. Bucky was all too proud to share that when you asked. “Jake does specialize in those and you might meet him at some point. If and when you do, don't blame him for doing his job, please. Not everyone gets to choose their line of work.”

“Well, I wish he would’ve stopped him,” you said. You could blame this guy, but it wouldn't do you any good. Like Natasha said, he may not have had a choice.

“If it’s any consolation, he wasn’t pleased when he realized he was helping bug an innocent person's place, but he has a sister and niece to consider,” she said, giving you a hard stare when you opened your mouth. “And before you ask because I know you’ll ask, I can’t help you.”

You tried not to get upset at her immediate denial to help. “May I ask why not?”

She sighed, toying with the delicate gold necklace around her neck. You wondered if the arrow charm was symbolic. “The women who work here… We didn’t exactly have the best upbringing and we didn’t have much freedom, even as adults. Including my sister,” she explained, a haunted look taking over her eyes momentarily. “But Bucky stepped in some time ago and helped us. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to open this place or give us normal life. I’ll be forever in his debt for that.”

“He helped you?” you asked. Marc mentioned that he donated to the local hospital and charities, but this was something else. Was this a normal hotel or some kind of refuge?

“He did. When he isn't doing bad things, he actually does some good,” she answered, still toying with her necklace. “In all the time I’ve known him, there have only been two things I’ve ever heard him say he wants and you’re one of them. If I help take you away from him, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“So you won’t help me, but it’s really more like you can’t,” you guessed. She was essentially in Bucky’s pocket and had to think of the women under her employment and her sister. She couldn’t put them in danger. “No one will help me.”

“Barnes isn’t the kind of man you win a fight against. It’s better for most to stay on his good side than to be his enemy,” she said, putting a hand on your shoulder when you hung your head. “Hey. I’m not telling you to just lay over and accept your new relationship for what it is, but I don’t want you to be surprised when people keep telling you ‘no’ when you ask for help.”

“Everyone just looks the other way and that isn’t…” You bit your lip to keep from screaming.

“It isn’t fair. I know,” she whispered. Her sympathy didn't make you feel better. “I won’t make excuses for him because what he has done is awful, but he isn’t entirely evil. He’s… flawed. We all are.”

Would Bucky be so flawed if people didn’t enable him or look the other way? “Do you think I’ll get used to belonging to him? I keep fighting it, but…” Doors kept getting slammed in your face in terms of help and that hope continued to fade. Was it time to accept the inevitable?

She considered your question. “I can’t say if you’ll get used to it, but there’s a careful balance between embracing a circumstance while maintaining your own boundaries. You need to find that.”

“But I have no boundaries thanks to Bucky,” you argued. He took them away.

“Maybe not now, but you could get some back down the line. He isn’t a man most people win fights against, but he’s still just a man. Use what you know about him and sway him. You have a little more power than you think.”

You thought back to the club when Jax flirted with you. Bucky worked himself up, but your touch and soft demeanor helped calm him down. “I guess I could try,” you said. It seemed easy enough, but he was so good at swinging things in his favor that you had a hard time believing you had a chance.

“And it isn’t much, but I can offer you a space here to use on occasion if you need time away from him. I know you don’t believe he’ll let you use it, but I think you can convince him and you deserve a safe haven,” she said, smiling a little when she handed you a card. “I could even have one of the girls teach you some self defense if you’re interested in any lessons.”

You turned the card over. There was only a phone number listed and a black widow spider. “I appreciate the offer, Natasha,” you said, tucking it in your bag. It wasn’t freedom, but it was something. And whatever Natasha’s full story was, your heart went out to her. “Can I ask what the second thing is?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said Bucky has only wanted two things in the time you’ve known him and I’m one of them. What’s the other thing?”

She shook her head. “That’s for him to tell you.”

Ray came out of the room a moment later. “All clear. Not that I expected anything less from you and your staff, Natalia,” he said. It earned him a small smile as she passed his room card over. “I’ll be just across the hall if you need me.”

“And you can ask for me personally if you call the desk,” Natasha added.

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine,” you said honestly. As long as Bucky didn't show up. “I’ll just order some wine and food, curl up in bed, and finish reading my book.” You didn’t need much else.

“Are you sure?” Ray asked.

“I’m sure,” you smiled softly. He had done enough by bringing you there. “Thank you both.”

They each gave you a sympathetic gaze as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you. The red, black, and gray theme continued in the tastefully designed suite. It was the nicest hotel room you had ever been in. Too nice for someone like you.

Setting your bag down and removing your shoes, you went right to the bedroom with your phone and book. The large bed looked comfortable and inviting. Sighing as you stretched out, you stared at the ceiling and tried to reflect on what had recently transpired.

Natasha. She couldn't directly help you and she had her reasons, but she might be a good ally. She was at least in the camp that you deserved some sense of freedom and offered you a small form of sanctuary. It was better than nothing.

Ray, you still couldn't figure him out. Like Natasha, he wouldn't directly help you. Bucky said he was loyal and didn't let emotions cloud him. He seemed to care to an extent though.

You froze when a message popped up on your phone. It wasn't from Bucky though. It was from your coworker, Kate.

“Hey, girl! You know Clark? Pretty blue eyes. Super hot. He stopped in and asked when your next shift was.”

Your stomach twisted in knots. Why was he asking? “Hey. What did you tell him?”

Kate messaged back quickly and your stomach twisted up more. “Told him you’d be in tomorrow and he looked happy until Mrs. Crandle announced that you have a boyfriend?! Girl, WHAT?! I need all the details!”

You groaned and hid your face in the pillow. Mrs. Crandle meant no harm, but this was the last thing you needed. Maybe Clark wouldn't come around after hearing that. “I’ll tell you about it during our next shift together.”

You didn't look at your phone for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, you lost yourself in the pages of the book and only took a break to order a drink and meal from the room service menu. And true to Natasha’s word, no one disturbed you. The food was left outside of the door once ready. Natasha even had a nice pair of pajamas sent up for you.

It was a quiet and relaxing rest of the day.

But as the sun went down and you got ready for bed, you held up your left hand and looked at your bare ring finger. A shuddering breath left your lungs as you imagined a ring around your finger. How happy your friends would be that you found love. How happy Bucky would be to have you tied to him forever.

Glancing at the empty side of the bed after your delicious meal, you wondered how it was going to be sleeping next to Bucky. Was he a cuddler or would he want his own space? Would he hog the covers? You would find out soon enough, wouldn't you?

But for today, he left you alone. He kept his promise. Yes, he sent Ray to watch you, but he hadn't shown up or reached out. He actually gave you some space instead of smothering you. And with you in the suite, he didn't have eyes on you.

Who knows? Maybe his mood improved and he had a good day without you. One could only hope.

“Good night, Bucky,” you whispered, closing your eyes and getting the sleep you craved.

A loud knock on the door woke you. Slowly opening your eyes with a groan, you wondered what time it was. Your body alarm clock said it was too early. Stretching, you made your way to the door and stopped when you heard raised voices outside.

“Get the hell out of my way, Natasha.”

You gasped when you heard Bucky’s voice, the quick anger rushing through you making you clench your fists. God, you knew it. You knew he’d show up.

“Don't make me put you on your ass, Barnes.” Natasha didn't sound afraid at all. What was it like to not have fear? “I’ll repeat myself in case you didn't hear me the first time: My instructions were that she wasn't to be disturbed and that includes you. So unless you're checking in, I suggest you leave. The fact that you’re even on this floor after I promised no one would bother her-”

“He was up here to speak with me,” Ray cut in.

“And I did. Now I need to see her,” Bucky said, the desperation in his voice making your heart ache.

“Boss, it’s two in the morning.”

“Exactly. You need to let her sleep. It’s the least you could do,” Natasha urged.

“I promised her the day to herself, but that day is up and I have to see that she’s okay,” Bucky argued. You were lucky he didn't knock on your door at 12:01. “I just need to see her with my own eyes.”

The bugs at your place would've given him access to whatever he wanted, but he didn't have that in the suite. It was probably driving him crazy. He sure as hell sounded out of sorts.

“Wow, an entire day. How generous.” You almost laughed at Natasha’s snark. It was appreciated. “Is this about Zemo? I know he saw her at the park, but he hasn’t been around here. We both know I’d never allow him to set foot in the door without a very good reason.”

“I still need to deal with him and he’ll be lucky if I don’t kill him with my bare hands,” Bucky growled, making you tense up.

“You have enough blood on your hands, but what’s one more body?” Natasha asked, the conversation reminding you once again that Bucky was a killer. “Look, I’m not going to disturb her and neither should you.”

“Natasha-”

“No. You played this wrong, Barnes. You could've chosen a compassionate route of courting her and eased her into this, but you intimidated her from the start and made it so she won’t ever be free of you. Maybe you're more like your father than-”

The sound of something colliding with the nearby wall made you jump back from the door, your heart thudding. It took a moment to get your bearings before you threw the door open to make sure Natasha was okay. The redhead, Ray, and Bucky all looked toward you and no one had a single mark on them. The wall beside the door, however, had a fist sized hole.

“Kotyonok,” Bucky smiled the second he saw you. He looked like he hadn't slept much. Good. Now he knew how it felt.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not having it in you to scream, cry, or anything else. “And did you just punch a hole in the wall?”

He chuckled sheepishly, brushing off his gloved hand. “Yeah, I did that.”

He was unbelievable.

“I’m so sorry he woke you,” Natasha said, putting out an arm to stop Bucky when he stepped forward. “Back up, Barnes. You’ve seen for yourself that she’s fine.”

“Yep. I’m fine.” You gestured to yourself and yawned. “Can I please go back to sleep?”

“Can I come in for just a minute?” Bucky asked, a touch of guilt in his eyes when you narrowed yours. He was pushing his luck when all you wanted to do was go back to bed. “Please?”

“Apologize to Natasha for damaging her property,” you demanded. He had no right to do that.

“I’m sorry, Natasha,” he sincerely stated.

Natasha’s mouth parted before her cool expression took over again. “Thankfully no one else was on this floor, so you hopefully didn't disturb anyone else.”

Bucky's eyes were still on you, full of longing. “May I please come in?”

You mulled over it. Technically he still kept his promise and let you be for a day. You could be angry later that he showed up so early. For now, you needed sleep.

“Come in,” you said, surprising everyone, yourself included. “It’s fine,” you assured Natasha and Ray.

The redhead nodded after a moment and lowered her arm, but the bodyguard shot his boss a subtle glare. “You know I'll have to bill you for the damage,” Natasha told Bucky.

“I know,” he said. He could afford it.

“Thank you, Ray. Natasha. I hope you both get some rest, too,” you said, letting Bucky into the suite and shutting the door.

Bucky let out a breath as he looked you over, but didn't move any closer when you backed up. Of course he had to invade what was meant to be your haven for the night. Strangely, you weren't as nervous as usual to have him so close. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you mumbled, crossing your arms when he slipped his jacket off. “You really couldn't wait until after sunrise to see me?”

“I’m sorry. I was up late at the club and Ray said you were here and… I missed you,” he explained, his expression soft.

It was kind of nice to be missed. “I’m sure you did,” you yawned again. “King of the loopholes,” you added under your breath.

He ran a gloved hand through his hair. “And I’m sorry about Zemo. I should've known he would-”

You shook your head quickly. “Nope. Not having this talk when I'm still sleepy,” you said, heading toward the bedroom. It was too heavy of a discussion to have in the middle of the night. “Take your shoes off. We both know you aren't leaving.”

He looked surprised all over again when you looked back at him. “You’re letting me stay?” he asked, a smile on his face like you handed him a gift. “You aren't telling me to leave?”

“Stay or go, up to you, but I'm going back to sleep,” you said, curling up on the bed. “And if you sleep next to me, don't you dare let your hands wander.”

“And you’re letting me lay with you,” he said, the mattress dipping beside you. “You’re being very agreeable.”

“You’re lucky I’m choosing to be nice instead of kicking your ass or letting Natasha kick your ass for disturbing me and my sleep,” you said, tensing up when he spooned you, his arm wrapped tight around you and his breath warm against your neck. “We have some things to talk about when I wake up.”

Ray following you. Zemo. Natasha’s offer. Bucky’s mom. Your relationship.

“We can talk about whatever you want,” he whispered, nuzzling you gently as your eyes shut. “Did you miss me yesterday?”

“No,” you mumbled.

Your reply didn't stop him from chuckling. “Not even a little bit?”

You sighed. “If I say ‘yes’, will you let me sleep?”

“I will,” he answered.

“I missed you a little,” you said, snuggling further into the pillow. He placed his hand over yours and you blamed your tiredness for why you didn't tense up again. “Now sleep.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, but didn't push any further, thankfully. “Thank you for letting me hold you.”

Your heart clenched. He sounded so happy just to be around you, just to be in your space. You were his everything.

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled, drifting off not long after.

Your last thought before you fell asleep was that you hoped Bucky would behave himself.

Lovelies, I think we all knew Bucky would show up the first chance he had. What do we think of Natasha? Is she being truthful that she can't help or is she biding her time? Will Bucky behave? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[matmiraculous]

Encanto TV Show

So. I had Ideas. I want to know peoples thoughts before I actually start writing. (Ignore the fact that i'm almost 4 years late to the fandom)

Season 1

1 - Pilot: The Family Madrigal (Whole Fam Feat: Mirabel)   Mirabel helps the family adjust to healthier habits in the early days after Casita is rebuilt, gently guiding them into a new chapter of life together. 2 - A Room of Ones Own (Mirabel)   Mirabel feels like the family is avoiding her and gets really upset and lonely, only for the family and Casita to reveal that they made her her own room! 3 - Luisa Lets Go (Luisa)   After accidentally breaking something during a vulnerable moment, Luisa realizes she still ties her worth to being strong and learns what it means to rest. 4 - Camilo Cares To Much (Camilo)   Camilo shapeshifts nonstop to please everyone, but when a young fan copies him a little too well, he starts to unravel. 5 - Of Rats and Men (Bruno and Julieta)   When a strange illness spreads in town, Bruno’s rats are unfairly blamed. He and Julieta team up to solve the mystery, healing a bit of Bruno’s reputation. 6 - Antonios Big Adventure (Antonio)   Antonio discovers a creature that can’t speak to him, forcing him to explore other ways of understanding, and learning that connection takes more than magic. 7 - Game Night (Madrigal 3rd Gen + Mariano)   The Madrigal kids (plus Mariano) have a game night that quickly devolves into chaos, competition, and comedy, before ending in giggles and heartfelt bonding. 8 - Flashback 1 (Madrigal 2nd Gen as Teens)   Teenage Julieta, Pepa, Bruno, Félix, and Agustín navigate early gifts, clumsy romance, and Alma’s rising expectations during the miracle’s first years. 9 - Guys Night (Agustin, Felix, and Bruno)   Félix and Agustín drag Bruno out for a night in town, challenging the village to treat him better while Bruno learns how to loosen up and be seen again.

10 - Power Swap (Whole Fam)

   The family wakes up with their gifts completely shuffled. Cue hilarious chaos, instant regrets, and a whole new respect for each other’s daily struggles. 11 - An Artists Touch (Isabela and Mirabel)   Mirabel and Isabela try to collaborate on a mural, but their wildly different creative styles clash until they find a way to blend beauty and mess into something uniquely theirs. 12 - Pranksters (Mirabel and Camilo Feat: Whole Fam)   Mirabel and Camilo start a petty prank war that escalates into full family participation where everyone picks a side. 13 - Flashback 2 (Madrigal 3rd Gen. Pre Camilo and Mirabels Door ceremonies)   A goofy happy episode about the Madrigal grandkids before Camilo and Mirabel both ahd their gift ceremonies. 14 - Still Abuela (Abuela Alma)   As the village moves forward and relies less on her, Alma questions her place in the family, until Mirabel reminds her she’s still their light, even without the candle. 15 - Bedtime with Bruno (Antonio and Bruno)   Bruno tells Antonio a bedtime story, and one by one the other kids gather to listen. Bruno feels like a part of the family finally. 16 - The Babysitters (Mirabel and Camilo)   Mirabel and Camilo babysit a group of chaotic village kids and clash hard on parenting styles, until they learn that fun and structure can coexist. 17 - La Ratonovela (Rat Telenovela Feat:Bruno and Dolores)   Bruno narrates one of his full-on dramatic rat telenovelas in person for once while Dolores keeps interrupting with ideas and questions. 18 - Hearing Hearts (Mariano +Madrigal 3rd Gen)   Mariano tries to plan a romantic surprise for Dolores, while navigating the absolute nightmare of dating someone who can hear literally everything. 19 - Flashback 3 (Pepa Feat: Newborn Antonio)   The story of Pepa’s pregnancy and the day Antonio was born. Its chaos obviously. 20 - Birthday (Madrigal Triplets)   The triplets celebrate their first birthday together since Bruno returned, unlocking sweet childhood memories, unresolved guilt, and the quiet power of forgiveness.

[mrs-stans]

How Sebastian Stan Finally Brought Hollywood to His Homeland With Romanian Festival Hopeful ‘A River’s Gaze’

By Matt Donnelly

It’s hard to imagine Sebastian Stan fighting for any part in Hollywood.

The Academy Award nominee has proven he’s as bankable in high-brow indies like “The Apprentice” and “A Different Man” as he is in soaring commercial fare like his continuing role as Marvel’s Bucky Barnes (next appearing in “Thunderbolts”).

It’s a cinematic homecoming that has eluded him over his career. Born in Constanța, Romania, Stan has been trying to find a way to bring his day job back to his birth country and highlight talent in the region. Stan told Variety that’s been looking for the right Romanian script to act in for the for the better part of 15 years. Now, he’s found a way to represent behind the camera as a producer on “A River’s Gaze,” a Romanian-set drama from director Andreea Bortun.

It’s a story close to his own upbringing, Stan says. His single mom Georgeta raised him across multiple countries while forging her own artistic and academic path. Bortun, whose work is a blend of anthropology and visual art, has sent up successful shorts to festivals like Cannes (where her collaboration with Stan has submitted for inclusion this year).

“A River’s Gaze” tells the story of Lavinia, a single mom herself whose ambitions of a better life for her 14-year-old son often eclipse his urgent emotional needs in the moment. Told over four seasons in rural Romania, Stan and Bortun caught up with Variety to discuss the artistic trip home.

Sebastian, how did you attach as a producer to this project?

This came from a lot of conversations I’ve had with her over the years about my desire to be more involved with Romania creatively. A mutual friend who we both admire and respect spoke highly of Andrea and sent me her short, which had gone to Cannes. I was immediately blown away. I’ve wanted to act in a Romanian film for a very long time. I’ve tried and it hasn’t come about, but I realized that I can also help behind the camera. Andrea’s script spoke to me personally. At the center is this very specific, intimate relationship between a mother and a son growing up in Romania under particular conditions, which I feel are not always reflected much to the rest of the world. I had my own journey with my mom growing up there and leaving the country. I felt there were things about it that really rang true to me, and that was great, because it only incentivized me to want to be involved further in helping her craft this vision.

Andrea, what would you say is the cinematic language of Romania?

Honestly, I don’t know if it’s still a time of one unique national voice. What Romanian cinema needs is – like all cinema needs globally – are underrepresented stories that show people that we don’t generally see. Characters that are not just compliant and feel-good.

SS: Andrea has a fresh take a woman’s perspective out of the country, which feels new for me. WE finally got a woman who has something to say about the experience over there.

There’s something about the aesthetic that feels very stuck in time. It was surprising to me to see the young male character with a cell phone in some of the scenes.

That’s a very interesting observation from a foreign eye. You would be fooled to say that the action happens 20-30 years ago. At the same time, it’s a mix of what people who have gone to work abroad have brought home with them. [Present-day] Romania is an interesting creature, a part of Europe that has had this history of migration.

Talk to me about the mother-son dynamic at the center of the film.

Our main character Lavinia is our hero, in the most tragic sense of that word. She’s an impulsive one, and she’s quite turbulent and irreverent at times. She wants to be a good mother for her 14-year-old son. She doesn’t know very well how to love, because we learn from what we had. She dreams of a better life for the two of them under bluer skies. For that part of the world, thought, the blue sky is the West. She moves into a decrepit house and wants to make it something that will last and be remembered for.

Her son is at an age where kids need their moms more than ever, this threshold before they flee the nest. She’s not quite aware of this, love to her means doing something meaningful with this house. Despite her efforts of making the best of what she can, there is a deepening of the rupture in between her and her son.

SS; You get to experience what this woman is going through in terms of trying to connect with her son and not abandon who she is. There’s someone to take care of and she must do it alone. You start to see how privileged we are in our family dynamics in the West. This person has to be superhuman dealing with these things with no resources or emotional tools. In my humble opinion, this film explores womanhood and how far it can stretch.

It seems like the community around her isn’t exactly uplifting.

She has an interesting connection to the community. She believes she is very different from others. She’s a fighter. She will go up a mountain to get what she wants. Those around her don’t like that, because she can be a troublemaker. She has a longing to detach herself from this community but doesn’t realize she’s a product of it. In a way, this film helped me make peace with the world I come from. I lived in rural Southern Romania and, after childhood, ran away to study abroad. The idea for this film came to me while I was in New York. I was seeing films from the ‘60s and I thought, “Wow, why don’t people make films about these kinds of women from Romania?” Like the strong Italian women of Antonioni. I came back and spent three weeks researching in villages. I did not want to be afraid of this world anymore. There was a feeling inside of me, something I had not accepted, but I am a part of that. Lavinia’s struggle is mine as well.

Sebastian, did you involve your mom in this process?

No, but she has seen the movie. It was very interesting to share that with her. There are certain moments that only people who have been up against this kind of thing can understand. My mom experienced a lot of hard truths post-revolution. Part of her understood the struggles of the main character. She also had me very young. People have kids a lot older now, and we have more time in the West to get ourselves sorted. A lot of people don’t have that opportunity. They’re still trying to figure out who they are. Andreaa caught that for me in a very authentic way.

[its-cartooncrazy]

[Image description: a list of all tarot cards in the major arcana, along with their meanings. They have been matched to a vessel from slay the princess, using the drawings from the memories page. Full text ID under the cut.]

Hello I spent like a week being abnormal about this (no I did not know the tarot cards by heart before this, yes I do now) so here is my definitive list of which princess matches which tarot card. If you disagree with me then you're wrong (joking, please feel free to tell me with your reasoning, I'd love to hear it!!)

Full list of my reasonings under the cut (scroll to the big text saying "Reasonings" to skip the ID)

[Full ID: three columns, listing first the tarot number and name, then card meanings, then the princess. They are as follows:

0. The Fool. cycle of life, birth & death, hope, optimism, childish, spontaneous, lateral thinking. The Damsel

1. The Magician. practical, success, witty, at home, central nervous system & lungs & senses, unemotional, over analyses. The Moment of Clarity

2. The High Priestess. heightened perception, unknown, mystery, occult, patience, intuition, strong independent woman, unable to control or dominate. The Wraith

3. The Empress. powerful women, creativity, growth, beauty, birth, fertility, warm, loving, sensual, enjoys life to the full. The Adversary

4. The Emperor. structure & power, competitive, achievement, authority, hierarchy, dominance. The Tower

5. The Hierophant. status quo, appearances, marriage, teaching, interpreting, structure, routine. Happily Ever After

6. The Lovers. love, romance, union, soulmates, resolved inner conflict, choice. The Wild

7. The Chariot. reward, victory hard won, don’t give up, try again, vehicles, overcoming obstacles, self discipline, hard work, focus. The Beast

8. Justice. logical decision, balanced mind, negotiation, truth, honesty, integrity. The Spectre

9. The Hermit. Solitude, thinking, introspection, learning, teaching. The Prisoner

10. The Wheel of Fortune. Fate, coincidence, luck, cycles, confusion. The Stranger

11. Strength. generous, loving, courage, conviction, optimism, resolve, generous, antagonism resolved, animals (loving). The Den

12. The Hanged Man. unable to move, temporary pause, patience, self limiting, trapped, sacrifice, wait for info. The Cage

13. Death. cycle of death & rebirth, transformation, something is ending, confronting smth alarming, major change. The Eye of the Needle

14. Temperance. balanced, adaptable, see both sides, calm, solve disputes, works well in a team, mixing opposites, blending, time. The Princess and the Dragon

15. The Devil. material world, buying love, material security, mental health, powerlessness, violence, obsession, secrecy. The Witch

16. The Tower. disruptive, violent, necessary change, enlightenment, trauma, loss, upheaval, tragedy. The Fury

17. The Star. hope, new life, fresh insight, phys or ment wounds heal, heal & inspire others, help, human rights, nature, equality. The Thorn

18. The Moon. dreams, imagination, subconscious, illusion, vagueness, deception, fear, anxiety. The Nightmare

19. The Sun. happiness & vitality, energy, confidence, children, freedom, fun, self expression. The Razor

20. Judgement. decisions, awakening, rebirth, healing, homesickness, celebrate success, self evaluation, blame. The Grey

21. The World. end of a cycle, accomplishment, journey, belonging, wholeness. The Apotheosis

End ID]

Reasonings

The Fool I put the damsel down for pretty early, just because of the childish optimism, but later I was thinking about the damsel route and why it wouldn't fit the Lovers and I said the damsel is more about how they are rushing into it. And then I remembered the Fool is about rushing in lol. I couldn't really consider anything else after that

The Magician mentions the central nervous system and lungs, so I considered putting the nightmare here for paranoids mantra, but the card didn't really fit her that well and the central nervous system is different to the autonomous nervous system anyway so. The Moment of Clarity gets this spot for her practical breaking of you, and the success it brings her. Not one of my easiest placements but I'm still pretty happy with it

The high Priestess was hard to place because she's about the occult, and powerful women who don't need a man. If only there was a princess who fit that mold... (/s if it wasn't clear) so yeah. Half the princesses were written down here at one point. The Wraith gets this spot because I found other places for all the others I guess and also because "She could not find her strength in others, so she found it in herself."

The empress is again a powerful woman, but a loving and nurturing one, who encourages growth. It was both the growth and the partnership she has that gave her the adversary

The Emperor is about hierarchy and dominance. I knew very early on that the tower would fit best here. "This one is dominance."

The hierophant is about structure, appearances, and also marriage. Happily Ever After is all about being trapped within this structure, with ties specifically to marriage. Literally tell me I'm wrong?

The Lovers. Okay. So there's a few this could be. The Damsel, with the voice of the smitten? Not really as equal a partnership, as I mentioned in the Fool section. They don't really know each other. The Thorn, where you can kiss her? Well that ignores like. The entire rest of the route so no. Happily ever after? Maybe, but I prefer her in hierophant. The adversary, with your equal partnership in kicking each others asses? Easily, but I also put her elsewhere. Ironically, the Lovers was one of the last two cards I placed, and the only princesses left were the wild and the grey, and unfortunately I couldn't agree with the drowned grey going here. The wild has you literally being one, achieving a common goal. It's not my favourite placement but I dont hate it so.

The chariot is about putting in the hard work and seeing it through, and she does make an effort to capture you (swallow you whole) and bring you to the door so she can escape. Also it's about vehicles, and she literally acts as a vehicle for you. That idea was too funny to not do tbh

Justice is one of three cards that mention balance, so I wanted one of the ones where you merge to go here. Much like the scales of justice, it is about considering all sides and picking fairly, so it had to go to the spectre, who gets justice for her murder when you help her out. The spectre was written down for like half the cards on this list though my god

The hermit is about solitude and self introspection. The prisoner, sitting in silence for millenia, felt very fitting. I also wanted the cage to be here, because the image of the hermit is him holding up a lantern, and having the cage holding her head like that would be fun, but she fit better in the hanged man so.

The wheel of fortune was one of my later picks. Fate, and also cycles. Its a little vague, and can fit with quite a few princesses, but I put the stranger here. Is it the vibes? Something about coincidences and not meeting her feels similar, but I cant put my finger on it so if you can explain please do.

Strength, but of the inner sort. The Den didn't really have anywhere better to go, I don't know if instinct matches with any of the cards. I felt confidence in ones self was pretty similar to instinct, plus it has ties to animals.

The hanged man is self restrictions. I would have liked to put the thorn here, honestly, hanging from her vines. Ultimately it was the best choice for the cage, though, and I had another good option for the thorn. Anyway, the cage can be hanging from all those chains and hooks. "This one is a body that convinced herself she was only a set of eyes." Sounds like her limits are self imposed for sure!

Death and the tower have similar meanings in that things are coming to an end, and both of them I felt were good fits for both eye of the needle and the Fury. Ultimately I put eotn here because its more cyclical, and when she was the adversary she wanted to continue fighting over and over again.

Temperance is the second balance card, specifically about blending this time. Opposites merging, solving disputes. Felt very much like the princess and the dragon chapter. "This one is perspectives bleeding into one."

The Devil is a person tricking you, but also material security. I only ever put the witch down for this one, and I only ever put her down for one card lol. The mutual trickery and betrayal in her chapter felt too fitting. "A trick behind your back, and a trick behind mine."

The tower, like I said, is similar to death in that they are both about things ending. But the tower is more dramatic, about the sudden upheaval, so I thought thematically it matched with the Fury better, who is very upset and very taking it out on you. This is one of the cards I knew the meaning of from the beginning, so unfortunately there was never a point in which the tower was matched with the tower :(

The star is hope and healing. One of many that the spectre could have matched with. (I wanted to make her star shaped wound be the star... oh well). The Thorn fits well here, if you both choose to end the cycle of violence and leave together. The star also has ties to nature, which fits with the thorns... thorns... I would have preferred her at the hanged man for her self limiting, being trapped in her own thorns, but this is also a very good choice so I'm not too mad lol

The moon is fear and anxiety. Plus the moon only comes out at night, when everyone is sleeping, when you have nightmares! But mostly it's the vagueness, mystery and anxiety stuff.

The sun being joy meant I knew I wanted the razor here from the beginning. I briefly considered putting her at death (for the cycles, and also the uh, death) but I think the dying part of her route is not actually that important? Anyway the razor is my wife and I'm glad she's enjoying herself. "She is cruelty. But she is also joy." See, shifty gets it!

Judgement is where you look back on everything and judge yourself. It was one of the last two cards to be assigned, and the wild did not fit here at all. Plus the grey sort of punishes you for your actions? It's unavoidable, is my point.

The world is accomplishment, wholeness. She is as close to becoming the goddess she truly is as any vessel ever comes. "This one sits at the cusp of awakening." Shifty says. Also Apotheosis literally means climax so I had to put her at the end of the tarot, you understand.

So yeah that's that. Thanks for reading, if you managed to get through all that. Feel free to debate different interpretations at me, I'd love to hear em!

[st3f13ily]

SILENT OBSESSION

First point of view, girl (reader) pov, boy pov, yandere, obsession, love obsession, hate obsession.

𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘

The first time I saw him, he didn’t even look at me. But that didn’t stop my heart from skipping a beat.

I was 14 at that time, the time I started to despise him.

But I was 10 when I first loved him.

He was always hard to approach due to the many girls surrounding him, and his friends always with him. I never got the time to talk to him alone. Never got the time to let him see me.

Until one day, where my perspective of him change.

It was raining heavily at that time. He was there waiting...

It was my chance to finally talk to him. Alone. Where no one could disturb us.

Before I knew it, I was already right beside him giving him my yellow umbrella. "Here," I said as I stared right through his eyes.

He is finally looking right at me.

I controlled myself as I smiled at him. "It's raining heavily, you should take this so you can go home safe and dry." I was glad I didn't stuttered.

Just please take it, just take this umbrella as I make my first memory of us interacting and you finally accepting me.

But he just gave me an unusual look and mumbled a sound "tch" and went away.

I wanted to cry at that time.

But I didn't.

I wasn't sad, I was furious.

I ran through the rain as I clutched my bag tighter than ever, my other hand gripping the umbrella handle as I built up my anger towards him.

That's when I figured out that he was untouchable, distant. The heir to a multi-billion-dollar empire, the kind of guy who walked through the school halls with an air of quiet authority. He wasn’t loud or boastful like the other rich boys. He was silent, controlled, and utterly intimidating.

And I used to have the biggest and dumbest crush on him.

I figured out that girls like me are the ones he will never notice. I was just another face in the crowd, an average girl in a sea of students who all probably blended in his mind.

And ever since that embarrassing scenario that day, I barely even tried to catch his attention because, well, what would be the point? He didn’t talk to anyone unless necessary, especially girls who doesnt even have a higher status. And I had never seen him smile. If anything, he seemed bored by the world around him, like everything, and everyone was beneath his interest.

I started making friends at the age of 15. I was afraid at first cause of that one-time mistake of mine.

Until the age of 17 when I found him there.

Sitting around the corner, writing notes in his notebook, looking charming as usual, and I'm now in the same class as him.

I used to have the same class as him in kindergarten until we were separated into different classes at the age of 11, making him not my classmate anymore.

But now, I'm stuck with him again.

And I hated myself for stealing glances at him. When I passed him down the hall or from feeling a little lightheaded when our gazes almost—but not quite—met. But that was all it was.

It was just a harmless stupid crush I had on him that already went away. But why do I still feel my heart is still beating when he is just a few feet away?

I guess that harmless crush is dangerous after all.

Later on, I just learned to accept that a little part of me was still not over him.

But of course, I still despite him.

Then strange things started happening.

At least, that's what I told myself.

The first time was when one of my classmates, started talking to me more often. He was friendly, sweet even, and I thought maybe—just maybe—I’d move on from my silly feelings for him. But then, overnight, that guy who started talking to me started avoiding me. He wouldn’t even look in my direction, and when I finally asked him if something was wrong, he muttered something about needing to focus on other things and walked away.

It wasn’t just that classmate of mine. Anyone who showed the slightest interest in me suddenly changed their mind. As if something or someone was stopping them.

Maybe I'm just not that lovable, that everyone would just move on from me or reject me.

But I know I'm worth it. My friends love me, but I don't know if maybe someday things will change and they might leave me as well.

𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘

I had no idea.

No idea how long I’ve been watching her. How many times I’ve traced the shape of her name in the quiet darkness of my room, repeating it like a prayer. How many people I’ve erased from her life for daring to get too close.

Sometimes, she would look at me. And it's both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing cause I crave her attention more than air. A curse because the way she looks at me is nothing compared to the way I look at her.

It drives me mad, that she only looks at me when necessary. It drives me insane when she laughs at the others who don't even deserve to hear her voice and laughter. It drives me crazy, that she used to have the biggest crush on me, and even today, I know, I know she still has that feeling, but she is willing to change her feelings, she can afford to change her feelings and it might fade, to look at me one day and move on. Making her love in her eyes disappear but only hatred will remain unfazed.

But I can't, I've tried, our lord knows that I have tried.

But the thought of anyone else having her? It’s unbearable.

So I make sure it doesn’t happen.

I make the obstacles in her life disappear. I ensure that no one even thinks about claiming what’s mine. They don’t know it, and neither does she, but I control everything.

And one day, she’ll realize it.

One day, she’ll understand that she belongs to me.

I still remember that day when she handed me her yellow umbrella.

And the start of her hatred towards me.

It had been raining that day.

Not the light, gentle kind of rain but a relentless downpour that drenched everything in sight. I had forgotten my umbrella—not that I cared. I was used to enduring things alone. No one would dare approach me, and I preferred it that way.

But then she did.

She appeared beside me, holding out a bright yellow umbrella, her smile warm and genuine.

"Here," she had said, offering it like it was the most natural thing in the world "It's raining heavily, you should take this so you can go home safe and dry."

I stared at her. At the umbrella. At her outstretched hand.

She's beautiful.

I mean—why should I take it?? How will she even get home then?? I already called my driver to pick me up. She should have it instead of giving it around.

She has a lovely smile, wouldn't want that to be replaced by a frown when she gets soaked.

I shook my head.

Tch, why would she even help me? She will get soaked. Doesn't she know that I can just call my driver when I don't wanna walk? But then again, I almost walked every day cause my friend always wanted to go somewhere walking, after school, and it was a good stamina build.

Or maybe she just doesn't know me.

I walked away not even noticing that when I was thinking about those, one word slipped through my mouth.

I turned around as I remembered I could just take her home, my driver was almost here. But there she was, I watched her run off into the rain, clutching her bag, her grip tightened at the umbrella handle, and something inside me twisted.

Then a few days later. I kept seeing her around.

That's when I remembered that she used to be in the same class as mine at elementary.

Then one day, at the age of 15, I was walking past the school garden when I heard it.

𝗔 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵.

Not just any laugh, her laugh.

It was light, soft, and completely unguarded. A sound is so pure, so full of warmth, that it shattered something inside me.

I turned my head, and that’s when I saw her. She was standing beneath the cherry blossom tree, laughing at something her friend had said, the sunlight catching the strands of her hair. Her eyes crinkled at the corners, her expression so full of life.

And I—

I couldn't move...

Something inside me cracked, twisted, 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱.

I had never been interested in anyone before. I had never cared. But at that moment, I needed to hear that sound again.

I needed to make it 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲.

From that day on, I started watching her. At first, it was subtle, just a glance, just noticing where she sat in class. But it wasn’t enough. Soon, I memorized her schedule. I started taking different routes just to cross paths with her. I followed her after school, always keeping a safe distance.

She never noticed.

I made sure of it.

And because of that, I figured out she used to like me but then hated me.

That's when I also figured out that she misunderstood that day when it rained.

I just don't know how to express my emotions, ok.

But that was ok, cause at least she still felt something for me right?

It was the ok cause, even though she still hates me now, I'm quite happy cause she used to like me. I'm glad that she still feels something for me even though it's just hate. I'm delighted that she rather feel hatred towards me than nothing or be bored of me, cause that would be sad now, wouldn't it?

But then at the age of 17 I was now in the same class as hers.

Cause I made sure of it.

Then I realised, that she might still hate me, but she still has feelings for me. I noticed how her face lightened up a bit when we bumped into each other in the hall, I noticed how she kept glancing at me but then realised that she was supposed to hate me.

I'm so happy.

That I even watched her more than before.

The more I watched, the more worse it got.

I started hating the people around her. The boys who made her laugh. The friends who got too close. Every time she smiled at someone else, a sharp, ugly feeling curled in my chest.

And that classmate of mine who got too close to her, that classmate of mine who considered me as his 'friend' talking to her with hearts in his eyes.

Yeah, his done.

That’s when I realized—

It wasn’t just curiosity anymore.

It was 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

And I make sure that she is only mine.

I sit at my usual spot by the window, pretending to be uninterested in everything.

But my eyes flicker toward her.

She’s sitting with her friends, smiling softly as she listens to them talk. She doesn’t know I’m watching. She never does.

Her friends are being so luckily unfair.

They get to feel her touch, get to hear her voice, and to look at her beautiful face.

I think it's time for them to give her to me and get away from her cause I think it's my turn now. It doesn't matter anyway that they are handing her to me.

After all, they were being unfair.

𝚃𝚊𝚐: @p1z-d0n7jud6em3

More of this:

His Obsession Came First

His Name

[meyhew]

“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”

I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.

Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.

All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.

One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.

Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.

Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.

Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3

Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.

If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.

I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.

This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.

Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍

—————

tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone

@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt

[whumpgifathon]

Hello! And welcome to the whump gifmaking challenge! I'm your host @aceofwhump and I'm excited to bring another year of a whump challenge specifically created with gifmakers and visual artists in mind.

The challenge begins in August!

Rules:

All gifs posted must be made by you. Do not just post gifs using the gif keyboard and claim them as yours and do not repost other people’s gifs. No AI-generated content please.

Various mediums are welcome! So long as the visual art aspect is the focus you can make whatever you want. Yes this is primarily a gifmaking challenge so everything is geared towards that but any visual art is welcome. If you draw, make moodboards, edits, videos, etc you’re welcome to participate!

You can use the prompts however you like. There is no wrong way to use a prompt. Feel free to interpret them however you wish. If you think it counts as whump? It's whump! Make it! Angst, comfort, emotional whump, small things, big things, it all counts so no need to over think it.

Tag all potential triggers (things like emeto, gore, nsfw, blood, eye whump, rape/noncon, etc.) When in doubt, tag it.

Tags to use when posting so I can find your ppst: #whumpedit, #whumpgifathon, #whump gifs

Please try to include the show/movie title, character names, and episode number (if applicable) somewhere either in your tags or in the post caption. This way anyone interested in watching it can find it easily.

An example of a way you can caption your gifsets:

@whumpgifathon | Day #: "prompt description"Show/Movie title, episode number, character name

2025 Prompt List

(edited to include day 24 which I somehow left out the first time)

A text version of the prompt list can be found below the read more:

Whump Gifathon - August 2025 Prompt List

Day 1: A Whumper’s Toolbox

Needles  |  Crow Bar  |    Baseball Bat

Day 2: Accidental Whumping

Falling   |  A Hard Whack  |   Broken Glass

Day 3: Space: The Final Frontier

Spacesuit   |   Isolation  |   Hull Breach

Day 4: Emotions Are Overwhelming

Fetal Position  |   Grief   |   Panic Attack

Day 5: How Did We Get Ourselves Into This Situation?

Sports Injury   |   Captivity   |   Bullying

Day 6: Skills/Theme - Tiny Details

Zoom in, show us those tiny whump things that give you whumperflies. Eye fluttering closed? Bruising? A bandage peeking out? Shaking hands? Tear tracks? What's your favorite? Show us!

Day 7: Say What Now?

“Are you okay?”   |   “I don’t feel good.”   |   “I got you”

Day 8: We Didn’t Start the Fire

Burns   |   High Fever   |   Smoke Inhalation

Day 9: You Should Probably Get That Looked At

Self Care   |   Broken Bones   |   Bleeding

Day 10 : All Tied Up With Nowhere to Go

Ropes   |   Shackled   |   Pinned Down

Day 11: The Tortured Whumpees Department

Waterboarding   |   Whipped   |    Drugged

Day 12: Vulnerability

Scar Reveal   |   Hidden Injury   |   Laid Bare

Day 13: Skills/Theme - Hold Your Positions!

Today is all about stress positions! Every whumper loves a good stress position but I’m sure we all have our favorites. Is it being hung from the ceiling by their wrists? Or maybe having them kneel down with a rope around their neck to hold them up? Or having their arms tied to a pole so they’re stretched to the sides? Show us your favorite one!

Day 14: Try a Little Tenderness

Comfort   |     Help to Walk   |    Blankets

Day 15: “You’re Safe Now.”

Rescue     |  Dragged to Safety    |     Protective

Day 16: I Don’t Feel So Good

Passing Out    |     Throwing Up      |      Dizziness 

Day 17: Aesthetic 

Covered in blood   |   Bruises    |    Tear Stained

Day 18: Hospital

Needing Oxygen   |  Coma  |  Bedside Vigil  

Day 19: Skills/Theme - Gif making!

Today we’re gonna showcase our gifmaking skills. Whether you’re a beginner or long time gifmaker this is the day to learn something new or to practice something you think you can improve on. Coloring? Subtitles? Blending? Text animation? Overlays? Background coloring? What do you want to show? What do you want to learn? What do you want to try?

Day 20: Language Barrier

Harsh Words   |  Different Languages   |   Alone

Day 21: Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.

Resurrection     |     Presumed Dead     |       On The Run

Day 22: There is No “I” in Team

Team Member Whump     |     Forced to Watch       |       Search and Rescue

Day 23: I Put a Spell On You

Magical Healing    |   Cursed     |    Witch Burning

Day 24: Get Me Out Of Here

Buried Alive   |  Trunk of a Car   |   Collapsed Building

Day 25: Skills/Theme - Underappreciated Tropes

We all have our favorite tropes that don’t get enough attention right? Here’s your chance! Give them all the attention and love!   

Day 26: Environmental Disasters

Earthquake  |  Hurricane  |  Wildfire

Day 27: It’s Just Temporary (Maybe)

Amnesia    |   Blinded  |    Hearing Loss  

Day 28: A Whumper’s Delight

Caged     |    Stabbed    |    Manhandled/Grabbed

Day 29: The Past Comes Back To Haunt You

PTSD     |   Terrible Childhood     |      Flashbacks

Day 30: Skills/Theme -  Location, Location, Location

The place of the whumping is just as important as the whump itself. What’s your favorite? A forest? Hospital? Abandonded buidling? The ocean?

Day 31: 

Beaten     |   Gunshot     |      Collapsing

Alternate Prompts:

Caught in an Explosion

Animal Trap

Coughing

Handcuffed

CPR

Knife to the Throat

Flinching

Withdrawal

Ice Pack

Hanging off a Ledge

[a-d-nox]

astro hypothesis: what your future wedding/engagement ring may look like

we have been using the 7h ruler chart in regards to the future partner as a person and anything regarding them and interacting with them. this time we are switching to the descendant persona to look at the partnership as a whole. a ring is a sociological symbol signaling to the world around you that you have a partner and are in a partnership. i would say saturn is a wedding band / ring; it's a symbol of honor and commitment as well as fidelity - its a vow of a long-term or lifelong connection. while venus is an engagement ring; its a promise of marriage inspired by the love a person has for their partner - it is usually more unique and flashy than a band. so again look at your descendant persona and the planets venus and saturn in this chart to learn about your ring(s).

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

venus

leo (5°, 17°, 29°) venus: features a bold and elegant design. might include eye-catching elements such as large, prominent gemstones, intricate details, or a distinctive setting. ring would be made from luxurious materials like gold, platinum, or even bespoke designs that add a touch of opulence. the focus would be on creating something that feels special and unique. unique shapes, custom engravings, or artistic features that stand out and expresses personal style. vibrant gemstones or intricate patterns that catch the light.

scorpio (8°, 20°) venus: ring might incorporate dark, rich colors or stones such as deep red garnets, black diamonds, or dark sapphires. could include custom engravings, secret symbols, or unconventional designs that holds special meaning.

7h venus: design is romantic and classic, perhaps incorporating timeless features like solitaire settings, delicate bands, or traditional styles that emphasize the beauty and commitment of the relationship. design might include symmetrical elements or balanced proportions that represent the harmony sought in relationships - matching bands, elegant details, or harmonious patterns. might include custom engravings or meaningful symbols that represent the couple’s shared values and commitment.

venus negatively aspecting neptune: intricate, ethereal, or even slightly unconventional designs. design might include soft, flowing lines or fluid shapes. settings that incorporate softer curves or designs that appear to shimmer or change with the light.

venus positively aspecting pluto: design that reflects intensity and meaning. design might blend elegance with a powerful, bold presence. unique gemstone settings or intricate details that convey a sense of importance. stones with deep, transformative meanings, such as garnets, black diamonds, or other gemstones associated with passion and transformation.

saturn

taurus (2°, 14°, 26°) saturn: likely features a classic, timeless design that emphasizes durability and enduring values. made from high-quality materials that stand the test of time, such as platinum or gold. design would combine elegant with practical elements, avoiding overly ornate or elaborate styles in favor of a refined and straightforward look. the ring would be comfortable and practical for daily wear.

gemini (3°, 15°, 27°) saturn: lean towards a classic, functional design that emphasizes practicality and timelessness. design might be straightforward but crafted with precision and care. there could be subtle yet meaningful details incorporated into the ring’s design that reflect personal significance - engravings or custom features that symbolize important aspects of the relationship or shared values (my friend had a promise ring with an infinity wrap in the band - the same design will be in the wedding ring). designs could include subtle patterns or inscriptions with meaningful words or dates.

5h saturn: wedding ring merges both romantic, creative elements with classic, timeless features. ring could have a traditional band with personalized engravings and/or a classic design with unique gemstones. ring would likely be both beautiful and practical, symbolizing not just the romantic aspects of the relationship but also its long-term, committed nature.

saturn negatively aspecting sun: ring would likely have a classic, structured design. a timeless, elegant band with clean lines, avoiding overly ornate or flashy designs. the ring would be made from high-quality, enduring materials like platinum or gold. a design that stands the test of time. design might lean towards minimalist aesthetics but with meaningful details. a simple band might include a discreet inscription or small gemstones that holds personal significance.

saturn negatively aspecting pluto: usually this is a robust and enduring materials like titanium. could include intricate patterns or hidden details that have personal significance. a classic band could include modern / unconventional design features considering the traditional significance of a wedding ring.

have ideas for new content? please use my “suggest a post topic” button! 

return to nox’s guide to metaphysics

return to nox's hypotheses

© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.

Get It Together

Prompt Day 14: Together | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Off-Screen Canon Typical Violence, Steve's Not-So-Great Parents | Tags: Steve's Relationship With His Parents, Or: Snapshots of Steve Harrington at Seven, Seventeen & Twenty-Seven, Future Established Steddie, Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Platonic Stobin, Good Uncle Wayne Munson, Hurt & Finding Your Comfort

1973

"Not on my tablecloth!" 

Steve jumps, turning his head, towards the sound of his mother's voice. It's sharp, angry, and he knows it's not at him. Not really. But it scares him, all the same. He knows she's mad at Dad, again. He was supposed to be home hours ago. He's still not home.

"Sorry, mom," Steve says, he'll be more careful. 

He's learned to be careful, but he just forgot. Wrapped up in painting, up on his knees in the dining room table chair, so he can reach everything. And he just forgot about the lace tablecloth his mom had folded back, putting down old newspaper under his paper instead.

"I'm sorry," he says again, and he's pretty sure he didn't get anything on the tablecloth. He was just getting too close to it. That's all.

His mother sighs, "It's okay. You're fine," she says, leaning over, and resting her chin on the top of his head. "It looks great. Your father will love it."

"Is Dad coming home tonight?" 

She doesn't know.

Dad is always gone at work.

Steve hears them fight when his dad is home, even if they think he doesn't. And Steve doesn't understand why, not fully, but he gets enough to know she's always sad. 

He nods. And when Dad comes home two hours later, Steve's excited to show him the painting.

"Aren't you a little old for this?" his father asks, and Steve looks down at the piece of paper in his hands. He's too old for art? 

Steve yanks his hands backwards, ducking them behind his back, hiding the artwork. Stupid. It was stupid. A tear slides down his cheek.

"Get it together, Steve," he says.

Steve nods, eyes cast to the ground. It's past his bedtime anyway.

1984

He tries to sneak home without being seen. He knows what he looks like, eyes red, nose running. He cried in the car, away from any prying eyes. 

He's bullshit, apparently. 

Unfortunately, his dad is still up reading files when Steve tries to carefully sneak through the back sliding door. 

"Steven?" his dad questions, and Steve wipes at his eyes again, trying to make himself presentable.

Steve knows he'll want to talk about basketball, his grades. Or something that he's found unsatisfactory, and Steve's just not in the mood. 

"I'm home," Steve says, hoping that's all that will come of this, maybe his dad won't even look up.

But his dad looks him over carefully, "Are you crying? Aren't you a little old for that?"

He can't explain. What's he gonna say? His girlfriend got drunk and was mean to him? No way.

So, Steve lies, "Just the cold air."

"Get it together. You're late," his dad says, pointedly looking at the large grandfather clock. It's three after midnight.

"Halloween traffic," Steve lies again. If his dad can use bullshit excuses, so can Steve.

1993

Steve stands in the hospital hallway, crying. Robin's rubbing his shoulders. He thought they were done with this. It's been seven years. He hadn't been ready for Hawkins to unexpectedly rear its ugly head. He'd settled into a life with Eddie, blending into the city.

Living, being happy, not bothering anyone.

However, tonight, they hadn't realized they were being followed until Eddie had been knocked to the ground.

Andy. Chance. A guy Steve only vaguely recognized. 

And in a particularly cruel twist of the knife, Tommy.

More retaliation for crimes not committed, years later. 

They're fine. Bruises. Some stitches. Eddie's getting a cast on his wrist after being pushed to the concrete. It could've been worse. Being outnumbered, and unprepared.

Eddie didn't deserve this. Not in '86, and not now.

"You're okay," Robin says.

He starts to agree, when a familiar voice breaks the silence.

"Aren't you a little old for this?" his father asks, and Steve fucking hates that question. He's been asked it a thousand times during his lifetime. 

And today, it's too much. 

"For what? What am I doing now that is so fucking unacceptable to you?" Steve snaps, and his dad's eyebrows shoot up. 

Steve's never talked back to him like that. Not once.

But he's twenty-seven. A man.

He's not seventeen, or seven. He's no longer going to be shamed for feeling things.

He doesn't have to get it together. He can cry. 

Nobody should've called them. He didn't ask for that. He wants to be left alone. That should have been clear when he fled Hawkins and never returned. 

"I don't need you here," Steve says.

"We've been looking for you," his mom explains. "The chief of-"

"I don't care," Steve interrupts. And he doesn't care what connection they exploited to find him.

"You should go," Robin snaps, angling herself between them.

"I wanted to know that you were okay," his mom says, and honestly, he believes that. He does. But his father? No. He just wanted to come rub salt into whatever open wounds he might find.

"I'm okay. So is Eddie, thanks for asking," Steve says sarcastically, and relishes them freezing up. 

The exam room door behind him opens.

Wayne. Steve immediately feels more at ease.

"They let him get a black cast," Wayne says, and Steve wipes at his eyes and laughs.

"How very metal," Robin says.

His father starts, "We-"

"Were just leaving," Steve finishes for him, not caring what he was actually about to say.

"Great, I'll walk them out," Wayne says, holding out his arm, waiting. Giving no other option.

Steve loves him.

Robin holds open the exam room door for Steve, and clearly intends to stand guard.

He loves her, too.

Steve doesn't hang around. He slides into Eddie's temporary room, and sees him trying to get redressed with his brand new cast. 

"Need some help?" Steve asks. 

"Uh, yeah," Eddie says, and tosses Steve his pants. 

"Well, I'm more practiced at taking these off," Steve says, and Eddie laughs as Steve squats down, "but I'll try my best."

They'll be just fine. Together.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun! ❤️

[olderthannetfic]

It's interesting to find out some people think you're anti-lesbian/anti-bi women if you don't write f/f smut. As a cishet dude, I get called fetishizing for shipping two women or two girls, even if all I reblog is art of them holding hands or kissing. I can't imagine the response if I wrote smut for them. I've been told I objectify women and use them like mental fleshlights for saying I don't ship something but I 100% see why people do.

While the ultimate reason I don't write f/f smut is that I, lacking those parts of biology that come up in f/f smut, fear I'm going to write the worst, least sexy and least believable trash imaginable, I'm not going to lie. The "the EVIL man has infiltrated our sacred womening space!" reception in f/f spaces is why I don't write more f/f fic, and I say that as someone whose work is (I did the math) 43.7% f/f. So even if I was perfectly confident writing for anatomy I don't have - yaoi writers, teach me your secrets - I think the exhaustion I have with the backlash would make me hesitate.

Also it is very funny to me that you refer to your cishet dude readers as unicorns. We're here, we're just not complaining in your inbox as much because fandom doesn't suck as much for us. (In some aspects. Some suckitude, like ship wars, no one escapes from.)

--

The secret of BL writers is that we don't care if cis men find the porn realistic, only if our readers, whomever they may be, find it hot.

Honestly, if you even know what the clitoris is and more or less where it's located, you will already be doing better than the vast majority of porn written by cis dudes. Hahaha. (The things I read on the internet as a teen! My god! That South Park movie was right!)

People who wish to be enormous jackasses will do so no matter what you do. It's not worth worrying about how to placate them.

But if the objective is mainly blending in, that's about writing skill and copying the voice of a particular art movement and community. I assume not everyone writing about ball smell on Nifty is a cis gay guy and not everyone failing to find the clitoris on Literotica is a cis straight guy, but boy do those spaces have a distinct and pervasive style. I don't read enough AO3y f/f to know all the quirks, but I'm sure they're there.

Cis gay dudes who want to sell m/m books to the "M/M Romance" or BL audience have to learn the style that sells. Having the parts and real world experience doesn't automatically make you know how to write a romance novel or wuxia plus fucking or whatever.

We like to wring our hands about identities around here, but when it comes to the art, it's mostly about exactly that: art skills.

...

All that aside, as a 14-year-old, I read a lot of dreadful Nabiki/Shampoo that was extremely obviously by men, but it was pretty hot because it was far less bloodless than the other f/f I found in Ranma fandom.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Honey

Honey

Sweet, viscous liquid food, dark golden in colour, produced in the honey sacs of various bees from the nectar of flowers.

Flavour and colour are determined by the flowers from which the nectar is gathered.

Some of the most commercially desirable honeys are produced from clover by the domestic honeybee.

The nectar is ripened into honey by inversion of the major portion of its sucrose sugar into the sugars levulose (fructose) and dextrose (glucose) and by the removal of excess moisture.

Honey is marketed in several different forms: liquid honey, comb honey, and creamed honey. Sometimes the predominant floral type from which the honey was collected is indicated.

Liquid Honey

If liquid (strained, extracted) honey is desired, additional supers are added directly above the brood nest.

When one is largely filled, it is raised and another is placed underneath.

This may continue until several have been filled, each holding from 30 to 50 pounds (14 to 23 kilograms), or until the nectar flow has ended.

After the bees have evaporated the water until the honey is of the desired consistency and sealed in the cells, the combs are removed, the cells uncapped with the uncapping knife, and the honey extracted.

The removed honey is immediately heated to about 140 °F (60 °C), which thins it and destroys yeasts that can cause fermentation.

It is then strained of wax particles and pollen grains, cooled rapidly, and packaged for market.

Comb Honey

In production of honey in the comb, or comb honey, extreme care is necessary to prevent the bees’ swarming. The colony must be strong, and the bees must be crowded into the smallest space they will tolerate without swarming.

New frames or sections of a frame with extra-thin foundation wax, added at exactly the right time for the bees to fill without destroying them, are placed directly above the brood nest. The bees must fill and seal the new comb to permit removal within a few days, or it will be of inferior quality.

As rapidly as sections are removed, new sections are added, until the nectar flow subsides. Then these are removed and the colony given combs to store its honey for the winter.

Creamed Honey

Almost all honey will granulate or turn to sugar.

Such honey can be liquefied without materially affecting its quality by placing the container in water heated to about 150 °F (66 °C).

Liquid and granulated honey is sometimes blended, homogenized, and held at a cool temperature, which speeds uniformly fine granulation.

If properly processed, the granules will be extremely fine; the honey, which has a smooth, creamy appearance, is referred to as creamed honey.

Floral Types

Some honeys are sold by floral type; that is, they are given the name of the predominant flowers visited by the bees when they accumulated the honey.

The beekeeper has no way to direct the bees to a particular source of food but through experience learns which plants are the major sources of honey.

Different flowers produce different colours and flavours of honey. It may be heavy-bodied or thin-bodied, dark or light, mild-flavoured or strong-flavoured.

Most honey has been blended by the beekeeper to a standard grade that can be supplied and marketed year after year.

Different regions in California produce distinctive honeys:

Orange Blossom Honey: Sourced mainly from Southern California's vast citrus orchards.

Sage Honey: Harvested in the coastal areas and foothills.

Buckwheat Honey: Found in Northern California, with a robust, molasses-like flavor.

Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ More: References ⚜ On Beekeeping ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[the-ancient-dragons]

Meet the PineWings!

Another Fantribe, this time completely my own.

Details, explanation, and closeups below. Otherwise, next week are the CaveWings! (Genius name, I know... but I promise there's more to them than meets the eye!)

Fun fact: inspiration for the PineWings came to me when I was sitting in a tree. It wasn't a pine tree, but I used to climb spruces all the time (at least I think they were spruces. They had long needles). It took a while to arrive at this design but I had a lot of fun making them.

You may have also seen a notification called 'Meet the PineWings' last week.... I totally didn't post this by accident...

PineWings are the first native inhabitants of Ventus. They are rarely larger than a wolf, built small to navigate the cramped coniferous forests, but even small they can be deadly. Their quills, which they normally use to blend into their environments, are coated in an itchy oil. Many victims scratch themselves to death.

Ventus is a land cursed by glaciers where three quarters of the year yield heavy snowfall. 'Summers' are short and spent frantically foraging and preserving plants for the winter. During winter their diet expands to include meat - which they must hunt from the forest floor. To help their odds, their green summer scales are traded for white and brown. In the spring, males' quills gain temporary red markings.

If you like what you see and want to learn more, you're out of luck because The Five Dragons series mainly focuses on the SwiftScales. The other Ventus tribes (and even some Pyrrhian ones) do appear, but not to the extent the SwiftScales do. However, if all goes well I am planning a sequel series which will go more in-depth in the other tribes. The first book will be from a PineWing's perspective and be written in such a way that you don't have to slog through my 14-year-old self's poorly written drivel.

That's all for now, though. Next week I've got another fantribe, the creatively named CaveWings. See you then!!!