#12 year old me may have played video games very differently from current me

[arolesbianism]

I should rly play portal, but at the same time I find it kind of funny to have it continue to exist as that one game I'd fuck around with the physics in as a lil kid instead of actually doing the puzzles in my memories especially since I'm sure I'd have rly liked glados if I actually bothered to actually progress in the video game I was playing

[eemoo1o]

Shadow has never been stated to be 18 or 20 though, he has only ever been stated to be physically 15 /nm

(Long post ahead. Tags are also important in advance. I will admit this post spirals into a tangent on how this matter started as well as stuff about other characters, and despite all linking together under the same theme-gazebo, it kinda derails, so feel free to read at your own pace.)

I don’t know much about the games—and that may make you feel “oh then why are you..” yeah, I mean like I don’t check manuals or have played them but I watch analysis videos, avidly Google shit and revisit the wikis now and then.

Just putting that out there.

The Sonic News Network wiki page merely renders him as ageless, whereas the Sega Wiki wiki page (where I got my information from last post) stated three (kinda) ages for the character:

(Please note that the Wiki is themed in a darker grey to what the image is here. Same with the following. I turned the exposure up on each for visual clarity.)

Oh, look, they even included a canon birthdate!

Oh…

Well, I know Wikis aren’t always accurate, so to back up the apparent evidence I had, if I’m just to Google his age just to double check—

Hey! That’s the game, damnit.

Think this was my mistake in the previous reply, so I suppose I should apologise. And I do. I think my train of thought was: “He’s 18 years of age (y), with some range in other games (17-22y respectively)”, which isn’t right—but every source I could find on the character’s age came up with 18y and not 15y, so I stand by the claim that even though he’s “ageless” (immortal, basically) he’s physically 18.

It also doesn’t make much sense that he is “ageless”—perhaps due to his origins of being put into stasis like some sort of autobot, or something—when a physical age for him has been stated to be 18 (which makes sense, as Knuckles was, by technicality, the original Shadow, having been invented seven years before Shadow was, and as far as I remember is meant to be a year or two older (16 or 17) than Sonic (15)—it also makes sense because Rouge is also 18, apparently, and I’d have imagined them to be of very similar age). Technically that should just let him do an Edward Cullen and be 18 forever.

(I will note that I’ve never liked the prospect of Shadow being immortal. Or the duration it took for him to come out of stasis just to link to Dr. Robotnik somehow. Perhaps I’m just biased, but to me it feels heavily unjust—I wanted Shadow and Sonic carrying their rivalry all the way to the old folks’ home, damnit. And now that vision is ruined.)

Overall, being immortal really doesn’t suit Shadow’s character, in my opinion, and just feels like a plot point now simply discarded and forgotten. It really wasn’t necessary in the first place, and making him 18 (immortal or otherwise) would have been much easier, rather than the oh-so-enigmatic “ageless” genotype we all know and love today.

To remedy this, I like to think red-eyed Shadow is different to brown-eyed Shadow in the sense of age and therefore backstory. I made a post on it—in fact I think it’s probably the post right before this one on my blog—but currently my main focus is going to be on Prime, which is why I’m now so bitter about Shadow’s age, and Sonic character ages as a whole.

None of it really fits, and I think they all need to be updated (Sonic and Amy’s, especially). I mean, I know Amy’s was back in the day, but with how she’s depicted now as opposed to back then, even post-redesign (she went from an 8yo Sonic recolour to a 12yo what-we-know-now). I mean, I know her main, more “well regarded” character arc is learning how to mature, but with her literally being fucking 12 is just a pisstake.

Sonic’s age is less annoying as opposed to Shadow and Amy’s (respectively) because I don’t think too much into it until I notice it doesn’t suit him due to the situations he’s in. Yes, he’s young and he’s a teenager—a cocky one at that, which is one of the many good things Hardcore Sonic Fans (aka the “bronies” of this fandom, for lack of a more adequate word) praise Prime for depicting—so it’d make sense for him to be such (15yo), but to me it’s make much more sense for him to be like 16.

I’d be willing to say “maybe even 17”, but 16 just seems so perfect and on the nose. It’s such a nitpicky little detail but to me Sonic’s age wouldn’t seem so absurd if they just made him 16. It’d both make an immense difference and yet basically none at all that would force any impact on his characterisation.

Amy’s the most absurd—her age still hasn’t been updated from 12 and even though it’s an improvement from her being 8, it’s still ridiculous. If you’re (and by that, I mean the creators, not you, the anon) not going to change Sonic’s age, at least change hers. To me, she seems like she should be a year younger than Sonic at least.

Same could be said for Tails. To me he feels similar to Amy, or at least in the terms of arcs. He should be younger than Sonic, and either the same or younger than Amy, too. He’s still eight, and with how his character has evolved over the years, especially in the modern era, he needs to be just a mite older, like 12 or something.

I feel like Shadow’s age, I most have a problem with for literally being 50 (I don’t care if he’s “physically” 18 or whatever. He’s not Edward Cullen, although that too is also pretty creepy) and as for the coma thing, put it like this: if Timmy fell down the well at 8 years of age and woke up from his head-trauma-induced coma 50 years later, he isn’t automatically excused from picking fights or relationships with kids.

I added the “relationships” into it because this (the thing with the coma) seems to be the primary excuse for Sonadow shippers (I suppose with Rougeow it isn’t so bad because she’s canonically 18, probably to make her past sex appeal to humans somewhat legal, but still). I mean, I’ve seen the same being said for other ships, but not really. The primary ship seems to be for Sonadow, seeing as Amy’s age is always disregarded anyway, especially in the Sonamy side of the fandom.

Shadow was my favourite part in Prime, I’ll admit—I liked his banter with Sonic, and I liked his voice actor (oh, Ian Hanlin, how I love your vocal range so)—which is why my anger for Shadow’s age and backstory made a resurgence (it was either mid-last year or the one just before, where I went through a Sonic phase on my blog after revisiting Boom, and somewhere during that I’d said the same thing, although not to this much feedback from an anon/anons).

I also made the post about Shadow’s eyes because if noticed they were brown in Prime but didn’t really pick up on what exactly was off until I’d googled it. One could argue they’re red for TV as opposed to the games, but in Sonic X they’re red, like in the games, and in Sonic Boom they’re a more saturated colour, making them mostly dark red, borderline brown.

So, I assume as the modern era of Sonic-based media progresses/progressed, they’ve turned from brown to red. It’s subtle but I hope it says a lot. Mostly for his backstory, because god, do I hate Shadow’s backstory.

[ellcyy]

Disclaimer: This blog is solely for educational purposes only and a requirement for our subject, development psychology. Rest assured that the photos, information and anything mentioned in this blog has been consented by the interviewee.

Being in adolescence in the era of generation Z is far different from before. A lot of young ones now know how to maneuver a car and can determine any type of sports car. They are very fond when it comes to physical fitness and makeup. For them, they give time and effort when it comes to their physical thing. Adolescents can now be independent without being scared because for them it is freedom, and when I said freedom, this means that they are freely to parties, socialize, and make out with their BF or GF. 

Friday afternoon, on the date of November 8, 2024, I interviewed an adolescent named Clarence who lived near his school, which is in Mapua Malayan. He is 12 years old and currently in high school. 

As I mentioned before, physical is like the main character for them, so for Clarence, when he was so young, he ate chicken breast due to its high protein. As time goes by, his family and other people notice that his body got bigger (with muscles) and that his face has changed also because before his weight was really far from now, according to him, he is skinny with a bony face. Whenever someone would praise him, he would just smile proudly because it made him proud. For boys, they are active when it comes to sports, especially their favorite, which is basketball. But the sport of Von when he was in high school was softball from elementary to high school, and he is very passionate about it. 

He got interested in coding, which is very related to his computer subject. After that, he began to love doing it as a hobby, so he planned that starting of his senior high school journey he wants to take the strand that is related to his desired course in the college. 

Clarence lived far from his school, so for him, being independent is very difficult because there are so many adjustments in everything.

Having big dreams is not new, especially to the adolescents that are very vocal about their wants in life. Most of them, when they enter the age of 18, work in any kind of opportunity that is given to them, even some that can be provided by their parents. Clarence said that he is enjoying his life by playing video games with his peers and socializing to the left and right. He concludes that what he does most of the time is what makes him enjoy it. 

After conducting the interview, I thank Clarence for the cooperation and letting me conduct an interview with him.

To Clarence, I pray that you will accomplish and overcome the fears and challenges you may encounter. May God bless you and your family!

[princess-of-anons]

you’ve got to talk more about the mario pmd eos retelling please please

HEY SO I WASNT EXPECTING ANYBODY TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS???? (Context in the tags here)

I don’t know who sent this but it’s been almost 12 hours since I got this when I’m writing a response I REALLY needed to sit on this to remember the details.

So when I said Mario characters I failed to elaborate on the fact that this was not just Mario characters. This is Mario characters, turned into Mario enemies, heavily redesigned to look like Pokemon. So you’ve got Koopas and paratroopas and other Koopa variants based off several starter lines, I think the torchic line was retrofitted over some goombas. And yes this all still (SOMEWHAT LOOSELY) plays out the plot of PMD: EOS.

All the in-between stuff was unplanned outside of the REALLY major plot points like the Beach, the Future and Temporal Tower, stuff like that. I must confess that EOS was my very first pokemon game, and all the other information I had on pokemon was based on a book I had on the Sinnoh Pokédex. so a lot of things like “does this enemy actually work as a good template for this pokemon” were completely thrown out the window because for some reason I couldn’t fathom just turning Mario characters into Pokemon.

I had a dedicated prologue that explains how the characters ended up in PokeMario Mystery Dungeon World, mostly derived from my headcanon that all the major Mario characters lived in Peach’s castle, yes even Bowser (who’s villainy is more of a day job because why else would he join them all in kart racing), yes even the other bad guys (including the dead ones), yes even Mario and Luigi (who I didn’t know had their own house). It was that two characters would leave the castle at night, go into the woods (like a moron) and they get Magic’d away. One of them would get sent to the beach, become the PokeMario hybrid I associated them with and meet the partner; the other would be sent to the Dark Future to play the role of Grovyle.

Now you may be asking, why are you being so vague about the characters here? Well to put it simply, I did this multiple times with multiple character pairings:

Mario and Luigi (Charmeleon? and Grotle)

Dimentio and Mimi (???? and Glameow. Sorry friends I have genuinely forgor what I turned Dimmy into for this crossover)

Blumiere and Timpani (Crobat and Beautifly)

There are others but I didn’t keep track of them because in my 9 year old mind I assumed this would be easy knowledge to recall 15 years down the line. Obviously this was not the case.

My memories are so faded that I honestly can’t recall what the point of the partner was. Or if I even included the partner at all. I just recall that that unlike canon EOS, your playable character did not lose their memories. In fact they are very aware of their past but just don’t know where their original travel partner went. The whole Planet Paralysis thing is just as much a surprise to Player 2 in the Dark Future as they are for Player 1. Also the fact that you don’t lose your memories and EVENTUALLY piece together that this other hybrid thing is your partner does make The Sacrifice sadder. I think the EOS postgame was not covered in this crossover because Player 1 and Player 2 would both wake up at home again after disappearing and saving time.

I can look through my old sketchbook in the morning to see if I can find drawings because I swear to god I have some. Thank you for listening to my unhinged ramblings.

I would ALSO like to note that within like, a few years of creating and discarding this crossover that I saw a video that combined PMD with Portal, subsequently introducing me to the Half Life/Portal universe and resulting in me replacing this crossover AU with a DIFFERENT crossover AU that was literally just the plot of the HL/Portal games with pokemon. I have lots of confidence in saying I could 100% bring back the Half-Life/PMD AU in the current day. Especially now that there is over 1000 of those little poké-fucks to attach identities to.

[yamithediaperdork]

My Little Brothers revenge Part 1

My little brothers revenge

The Hickman's were for the most part a average middle class family. both the parents worked and they had two children.

A 12 year old named Justin who had natural blond hair in a brush cut though he currently had it dyed indigo blue to go with his icy blue eyes. He had a jock's build (well as much as one could have at that age) and wasn't scared to use his physical power to his advantage.

his little brother Alex was short for his age and was always being mistaken for a 6 year old or worse when he was 9 and a half. He had red hair that went down to his shoulders and he kept in a pony tail and his checks were sprinkled with freckles.His slim body meant he was last to be picked for any sports though unlike his brother he was a strait A student and actually sometimes had to help his older brother with his homework, a fact that neither of them enjoyed.

It was their mother Anne (who Alex took after in appearance) who insisted that he help his big brother and it always ended with Justin pissed off and Alex hanging from a bed post by his sponge bob underoo's.

Their father who Justin took after in appearance refused to believe his little all star could be such a bully and so it was usually left to Alex to figure out a way to hold his own or go and whine to their mother, getting him labeled a mama's boy.

Still all brothers fight, it was just a fact of life and it might of all just gone this way with them being a semi happy family till the day the bully of a big brother took things a step too far and Alex decided that Justin had to be put in his place once and for all.

Alex had been hanging out with his friends Saturday afternoon, playing video games in the living room and having semi pissed off Justin who had wanted to watch a movie with HIS friends.

But mom and dad made sure that the TV time was shared and that both boys got a block of time and with their parents just down the block, Justin knew better then to try and strong arm them out.

Said friends were Kyle and Lyle, twins from down the block who had a semi creepy habit of finishing each others sentences and had light caramel skin and black hair in matching mushroom cuts. it was easy enough to tell them apart as by a semi quick of fate Lyle had brown eyes while Kyle had green.

Missing in action because he'd gone fishing with his dad was Max, anther shrimp who had dirty blond hair in a short Mohawk (his attempt to look cool which had backfired) and was so white he looked pale most of the time.

being shrimps themselves they had hit it off well with Alex and had formed a semi losers club of sorts, though Alex wasn't found of the name the twins who loved anything Steven king had insisted and he was out voted 2 to 1 since Max had joined the group after.

the boys were doing a retro gaming session of sorts, playing downloaded old games on a new machine and the game of choice for the moment was Ninja turtles two.

"Man, this game is so bad.." Lyle spoke up, playing as Leonardo.

"That it's almost good!" Kyle finished and was playing as Ralph.

"heh, that the fun part of these old games..you know they were giving it their all but just were limited." Alex said.

all three of them were seated on the hard wood floor of the living room though they had spread out a blanket since despite the chill of the October air his parents had refused to turn on the heat yet.

the twins nodded and Alex went to say something else when he hear the booming footsteps of his brother then a familiar stink hit his nose.

'No way, he wouldn't!' Alex thought.

"Hey Little Alexandra, Didn't mom tell you to toss out your pissy wet diapie when you got changed this morning? It's bad enough your a bed wetter, do you have to leave your soggy huggies around?" Justin asked.

and indeed Justin was holding out a totally soaked Spider-man print diaper in front of him, holding it with just a finger and his thumb and holding his nose.

Behind him were his friend Adam (Nicknamed grizz or grizzly because of his girth and wildly unkempt brown hair) and Rayne, actually a year younger then the other two but a head taller and so very, very much stupider. Rayne kept his head shaved because he thought it made him look more like the pro wrestlers that he so so loved.

"is that-" Lyle asked, pausing the game and turning to look.

"-A diaper?" Kyle finished, raising a eyebrow.

"JUSTIN! Mom told you not show people those! and I DID toss it out!" Alex huffed and whined, his cheeks going crimson then adding. "And DON'T call me Alexandra!"

"Whatever you say pamper pisser. Look, I went to go into our room to get something and was assaulted by the stink of your bed wetter pants." Justin said and then tossed the soggy thing at Alex, hitting him in the face and knocking him over.

the truth was Alex KNEW he'd tossed the diaper out this morning, he wasn't allowed to toss his very much needed bed time diapers out in the house trash because Dad and Justin would raise a fuss about it stinking up the house and he'd had to wait five minutes because the paper boy had stopped to talk to Mr. Johnson next door.

"JUSTIN GROSS!" Alex whined and sat up, whining and now smelling like stale pee.

"Whatever dork, go and toss your diaper out then take a shower..me and the guys are gonna start our movie early. Wonder twins, I'm sure you don't wanna stick around and hang out with a pamper packer like my little brother right?" Justin said.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" Lyle huffed and went to put a supportive hand on Alex's shoulder, but then pulled it back.

he was with his friend but that didn't mean he wanted to get any of the ick on him.

"What he said! Everyone matures differently! Heck, Lyle only just stopped needing a night light this year!" Kyle said, then pout his hands over his mouth as his brother glared at him.

"...Pfffftt BWHAHAHAHAHA!" all three big bullies broke into gut busting laughter.

"I'm not the one who has to suck on a pacifier during thunder storms!" Lyle shot back and blew a raspberry at his twin who huffed and glared.

the bullies naturally were loving it as the twins only dug themselves in deeper and Alex just face palmed.

"Guys, you're NOT helping yourselves." He pointed out.

"Oh my god, it's a group of BABIES! No wonder they all get along!" Grizz laughed, slapping his leg.

"I bet their next sleep over is gonna have them in a crib." Rayne added.

"Alright pamper packers, out of the living room, this movie is PG 13 and I don't want you all blorting your pants when something scary happens. Wonder twins, get your asses home. Alexandra, go take a shower AFTER you toss out your pissy diaper." Justin said, unable to believe just how well all of this had worked out.

"Whatever jerk.." Alex huffed and got up.

he saw his friends off though the twins were still semi huffing and fighting, shoving each other as the walked away and Alex got his wet diaper tossed out without anyone seeing him.

as he went upstairs and got his shower ready one thing was on his mind.

'This means war. I'm gonna make him feel EXACTLY how embarrassing being seen in diapers around your fiends is.' Alex vowed to himself.

Ok, he had no idea HOW he was going to do so, but while Justin may of won the first battle, it was going to be Alex who won the war and prove his Brain's out did his brother brawn.

The movie was going about as well as could be expected since they had to keep pausing it to have anther laugh at just how dorky Alex and his friends were.

Of course Rayne and Grizz had known for awhile (even if Justin technically wasn't suppose to of told them) about Alex being a diaper filler. (and he might of exaggerated what all Alex used his diapers for)

Maybe a SMALL part of Justin had felt sorry for Alex being humiliated like that in front of his friends, but Grizz had actually come up with the idea and he didn't wanna look like a pussy in front of the guys.

Besides with it coming out that the twins were just as big of dorks as his little brother any real guilt had vanished and he toyed with the idea of dragging out Alex's old play pen out of the basement for the next time he had all his dorky friends over.

'heh, get some pacifiers to shut'em up..put them all in Alex's diapers and take lots of pictures. boom, homework and chore bitches till I graduate.' Justin thought with a smirk and chuckled.

"what's so funny? Oooo and I know that look. Someone's had a evil thought." Grizz asked.

"Heh.. How would you guys feel about making some diapered nerds do our homework for us?" Justin asked.

"well, could be funny, but where are we gonna find some?" Rayne asked.

"..." Grizz roiled his eyes

"...Rayne buddy just smile and listen." Justin said semi sweat dropping.

"I can do that!" Rayne said with a big toothy grin.

Shaking his head Justin started to explain his evil plan, and his friends laughed and chuckled, and were MORE then on board.

Getting out of the shower and drying off, Alex got dressed in a pair of black jogging pants and a t-shirt then sat on his bed with his laptop.

He tried different google searches trying to figure out just how to get his brother back in diapers but for the most part it ended up giving him story link's that he bookmarked to look over later and see if there was anything usable.

He did find a forum called little brothers revenge and it had some really wicked ideas for the most part, but only two threads popped up when he searched for diaper.

the first one was clearly bull with it talking about how this kid had pooped in a diaper and hide it in his big brothers room and gotten the big brother in trouble (and even if it wasn't, Alex would hold off crapping himself as a weapon of last resort.)

the other thread was old, and had been posted just before Christmas of last year and had a little brother talk about how he had set his brother up to look like he wanted diapers for Christmas and his dad had fallen for it, and so had the rest of the family.

Of course there was a lot of disbelief in the read over that and one guy commented 'pics or your full of shit!'

As Alex scrolled down, he pretty much thought the same but then his jaw dropped as there was a picture of a sleeping boy, in a t-shirt and thick diapers and sucking on a paci and a younger boy was in frame too, it was a semi selfie and was smirking and giving the peace sign. the caption under the picture read 'Believe me now bitches?'

"Hoooly shitttttt." Alex said, this guy was his hero!

he didn't seem to be activate on the forum anymore though, there were a bout a dozen replies and a few more comments from the guy but then he vanished.

his user profile did have a e-mail attached to it and so Alex snagged it and went to write the guy a e-mail.

From: Alexander_the_awesome@gmail.com

To: Ben_better@Hotmail.com

Subject: DUDE YOUR MY HERO!

Hey just wanted to say, I saw your post on Little brothers revenge and wanted to say how awesome that was and also I was wondering if you had any advice or tips on getting a big brother in padding. mine's being a total butt hole lately and just ugggghhh @_@

I had one idea about maybe like peeing on his bed after he gets up to frame him for bed wetting, what do you think? hope to hear from you soon!

E-mail written Alex clicked send and then went to kill some time play a few games online, never once suspecting that while he was trying to plot his big brother diaper doom, he was likewise plotting out Alex's downstairs.

It was a hour latter when Alex heard the ding that told him he'd gotten a reply and he switched tabs to go and take a look.

From: Ben_better@hotmail.com

To: Alexander_the_awesome@gmail.com

Subject: Re:DUDE YOUR MY HERO

Heh, thanks for the high praise though I gotta warn you, first of all this is something you've gotta be reallllly careful with. Diaper humiliation is a double edged sword, trust me. Had a friend named Ken who tried this and now he's in diapers.

Anyways just taking a leak on your big bro's bed is dumb, you'll get busted for sure! what I'd recommend is making use of laxatives and pee pills in increasing doses till he's wetting his pants all the time and blorting them too. It's a longer game but better results.

what made you wanna get his butt back in diapers anyways, and FYI i expect 'baby pictures' when your plan works.

Alex thought about that for a second and couldn't help but wonder if maybe this 'ken' was really Ben, but pushed that thought out of his head as he started to write his reply.

From: Alexander_the_awesome@gmail.com

To: Ben_better@Hotmail.com

Subject: Re:Re:DUDE YOUR MY HERO!

Oh well, I'm a bed wetter and the butt hole went and fished one of my soggy diapers out of the trash and threw it at me while I was hanging out with my friends, trying to say i never tossed it out. so trust me, he totes has this coming.

I really got nothing to lose if I get busted since I'm in huggies every night so I'll try out your plan. it works out because he likes to make me get him drinks and snacks.

as for the picture of him once he's back in huggies heh, sure. thanks for the advice and I'll let you know when the plan starts to work.

E-mail sent Alex closed his e-mail and his game tab then went searching online for the best med's to get to reduce his brother to a helpless pants wetting stinker, only to pause after a few minutes recalling that Max had gotten in trouble awhile back for causing a series of messy accidents around school.

'nggggh..no way he'll be back yet though. I'll go and talk to him tomorrow.' Alex thought and set his laptop aside and laid back on his bed, thinking about just how much fun he was gonna have and ended up conking out.

which was unfortunate as he hadn't put on one of his spider-man diapers and with in ten minutes a wet patch was starting to grow on the front of his jogging pants, which while the dark color would hide it, the tan covered blanket he was laying on wouldn't.

"So when do you think we can do this?" Grizz asked.

the movie was basically forgotten but had been kept on to cover up their voices on the off chance Alex came downstairs (Small chance of that) or if their parents came back early.

"Welll that's the tricky part. I have to have all four of the dweebs here AND have my parents gone. they're going on a weekend trip in about 2 weeks though so I'll try and convince the dweeb to get the loser's club all over here." Justin said.

Rayne, who had just shut his mouth like he'd been told to raised his hand like he was in class.

"heh, Yes Rayne?" Justin asked.

"Aren't they into that dice game, Dragons and prison or whatever?" he asked.

"..Dungeons and dragons, yeah." Justin chuckled.

"Same difference. anyways, say you've been reading up on it and wanna try your hand at hosting a game, but just want them over before you embarrasses yourself in front of us.Most nerds I know love to play and will jump at the chance." Rayne said and smiled.

"Sweet fucking cthulhu. Rayne had a good idea." Grizz chuckled and to patted the bigger boys head. "good boy!"

Rayne beamed and was clearly proud of himself and Justin chuckled.

"Ok, I'll just have to learn enough about this nerd stuff to fake it and get them over. you guys will have to be ready to help though, I don't wanna risk one of the losers getting away." Justin said nodding.

"Hey, as long as I don't have to change any shitty asses I'm in." Grizz said.

"Wait, your gonna make them USE the diapers?" Rayne said and then laughed lots. "Gross!"

"Heh, well the best blackmail is a sobbing little brat in a stinky diaper blackmail. no way the dweeb will risk him in all his smelly glory ending up ALL over town."

"Man, I am glad your not MY big brother." Rayne said, never mind the fact Justin was pretty sure if he tried anything on the semi giant he'd be the one in huggies.

"Eh, No worries. you'd be a awesome little bro. Now all we need to do is go and pick the perfect pampers for them."

"Oh, I got it! There's this discount store my mom drags me to because they have her cream of wheat and other junk she likes cheap, but they got in a shipment of over night diapers for big kids, boys and girls. the boys has rockets and stars on them and are blue." Grizz said, setting up the best part.

"Oh, this is gonna be good." Justin smirked.

"the girls has unicorns and rainbows and are pink!" Grizz finished and cackled.

Plans set for his brother's diapered humiliation, the boys finally turned they're attention back to the movie.

After the movie it was getting late and so Justin sent the guys home as technically speaking they weren't suppose to be over, only him or Alex could have friends over for the most part if mom and dad weren't home. (Weekend vacations were the exception, though their folks made it clear the house had been be clean when they got back)

Whoever had their friends over was also suppose to clean up after them and after a chip fight in the living room Justin smirked, knowing he could get Alex to clean the mess up, since it would be Alex and his friend getting blamed for the mess.

Of course Justin usually made Alex clean up after him and his friends anyways but that always took a little bit more effort in the form of using the dorks undies to bounce him like a yo yo if he didn't listen.

He toyed with leaving Alex sulking in their room where he been since the shower and just letting the dweeb get in trouble but since it was Justin's turn to start dinner so it'd be ready and he didn't feel like cooking, he had to get Alex downstairs anyways to be a good little chore bitch.

"This will be SO much easier once I have the blackmail on him." Justin sighed to himself as he made his way up the stairs to the boys shared bedroom.

Opening the door he went to go and say something but was hit by the stench of piss and a quick look confirmed the little bed soaker had gone night night without a pamper on.

"Hey dork face! wake up! you pissed the bed!" Justin said in a loud voice.

"Ngggh a gigi boo..Five more minutes mommy.." the still mostly asleep dweeb said, trying to shoo Justin away.

"heh, baby talk? really? Wow, just when I think you can't lower the bar any more Little bro.. ALEXANDRA! WAKE UP!" Justin said then cupped a hand to his mouth and yelled.

Alex jumped sort in bed then sat up, eyes wide and panting, looking around.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" He growled once he locked eyes on Justin."ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!"

"No, but you had a wetting attack dork." Justin said and pointed.

Alex went to say something then looked down and went from pissed off to blushing and tried to cover himself up.

"Ah crap crap crap crap!" Alex whined and got up off the bed.

this was NOT good. not good at ALL! Dad was already riding him on the bed wetting and if he found out Alex had soaked the bed from a little nap he would NOT hear the end of it, or worse, dad would make him wear ALL day tomorrow!

"Ah..ah..Justin big brother who I love ever so much.." Alex started, swallowing and trying to put on his best 'I'm so cute help me' faces.

"Save it dweeb. I'll keep my mouth shut about your little..well BIG accident as long as you go and be a good little chore bitch and get the living room cleaned up and start supper." Justin said and leaned on the door frame, a evil smirk on his face.

Considering his options Alex just hung is head and then did a small nod.

"Butttt to show you I'm not totally heartless..I got some clothes that need to be washed so you can do them and wash your sheet at the same time as a cover up. I know, my kindness knows no bounds. just be thankful mom got you that rubber sheet or you'd be going to sleep in a soggy bed tonight." Justin said and laughed.

'gee he's all heart. letting me do his landry and clean up AND cook.. ' Alex thought but it WAS better then trying to explain the sheet alone.

"Yeah ok.." He said finally and went to strip stripping the bed.

"ah ah ah, what do you say to your kind and wonderful brother for helping you out?" Justin said, milking this for all it was worth.

'He has to be..ok no, I know him better then that.. just keep digging your grave jerk.' Alex thought then took a deep calming breath.

"Thank you for letting me do your landry big brother." he said, clenching a fist.

"Anytime dork. not get to it, you don't have a whole lotta time. my clothes are in the hamper in the bathroom." Justin said and started to walk away, then poked his head back in. "Oh and dweeb? next time don't forget to put on your diapies when your going for your afternoon nap."

and with that he walked off laughing.

"...I'm SO going to enjoy getting him in diapers." Alex huffed.

Changing into a pair of clean spider-man shorts and a captain America t-shirt, Alex got the load of landry started and then went to work cleaning up the living room while keeping a eye on the time.

the chips were everywhere and every time he though he was done he'd spot some more and wondered how much the three bullies had actually managed to get in their stupid fat mouths.

Between the cleaning and getting landry switched over he didn't have time to make anything too special so he went with the old stand by of making macaroni and cheese with hot dogs as it was quick and simple and his parents never really expected Justin to go all out when he was cooking anyways.

Dinner was ready and the landry was finished by the time their parents got home, Alex just had to go and get it out of the dryer but he figured he'd have time to do it stealthy after eating.

"So, what did you boys do for fun today?" Dad asked as they were sitting at the dinner table, a small grimace on his face at the prospect of eating the old stand by.

"Oh well-" Alex started by Justin cut him off.

"It was pretty much same old same old for me, went out and played some football with the guys and had fun. Came back though and I think The twins brought over some super sugar loaded snacks or something because Alex and them where have a chip fight and trashed the living room. it was cute though." Justin said and smirked, winking at Alex who's jaw hung open.

"Alex, you didn't!" Mom signed and shook her head. "After supper you'll be cleaning up the living room!"

"Oh don't worry about it mom, I know little guys like him just need to get it out of their systems. after the twins went home he was super pooped though, think it was a sugar crash so let him go and take a nap and I cleaned up the living room." Justin lied.

"Well that was was nice of you Justin, but in the future leave the cleaning for Alex to do." Dad said and shook his head at Alex. "Alex, we've talked about this."

Alex for his part was stuttering now, trying to think of a way to prove his innocence without getting scolded but first shots had been fired by Justin and there was nothing he could do now.

"Alex did you say thank you to Justin for cleaning up after you?" Mom asked and her tone made it clear if he hadn't she expected him to now, but again Justin spoke up.

"Oh, he's already thanked me for something else. see somebody was just SO sleepy when he went for his nap that he forgot to get his bed wetter pants on and well, Let's just say it's a good thing I had to do a load of landry anyways." Justin said as Alex,'s jaw dropped.

"Y-You said..you.." Alex stammered.

"Alex! what have I told you about not going to sleep without one of your diapers on?" Dad asked in a sharp tone.

"N-Not to do it again or..or.." Alex whined, looking down and feeling ready to cry.

this wasn't fair! he'd done everything Justin had asked him too and he was still gonna get punished!

"Or you'll be spending the next day in your diapers all day. Now I was hoping NOT to have to use that punishment but clearly you've left me no choice. you can still use the potty of course, in fact I encourage it, but you WILL be in diapers all day tomorrow." Dad said.

His tone left no room for argument and feeling hot tears start to slid down his cheeks Alex looked down at his bowl of food and sniffled.

"Yes sir."

After supper Justin offered to do the dishes if Alex would go and get the landry out of the dryer, but mom said since Justin had already cleaned up after Alex, made supper and did the landry for the most part he could go and relax and watch TV with their dad while Alex got the landry out and folded it.

Justin smiled and kissed his mom's cheek and asked if she was sure, but she insisted and so he went and plopped down on the couch, ready to watch some hockey with his dad and giving Alex a shit eating grin as the huffy and tear stained cheek dork started to stomp his way up the steps till dad called for him to knock it off unless he wanted to go to bed early.

'Oh my god. this worked out even better then I could of hoped! Mom and Dad are just too easy!' Justin thought, having to bite his tongue every so often to keep from laughing.

the dweeb had done all the work and yet here he was sipping on pop and munching on chips with their dad while the dork was off folding his undies and was gonna be a crinkle butt the next day.

'It'll be a nice little preview of whats to come.' Justin thought and let out a little chuckle despite himself.

"what's so funny?" Dad asked.

"Oh, just thinking of how silly Alex and his friends looked this after noon. they were like sugar crazed toddlers." Justin lied.

"heh, Next time you should try and get a video of it, I bet it looked cute." Dad chuckled.

Upstairs Alex was mentally cursing up a storm, pissed off and fuming like crazy as he folded pair after pair of his brothers skid marked undies.

'Son of a bitch! son of a bisket eating bitch! I'm not just gonna get him in diapers, I'm gonna make him the biggest dumbest big baby loser of all time! I'm gonna have him in the halls of his school in nothing but huggies and a bib and bonnet!'

of course a small part of Alex knew that going that far likely wasn't gonna be possible, it was a warm thought that helped him keep from just having a melt down fit that would of gotten his bun's blistered and him put to bed before it was even 8 pm.

He should of know better then to think that Justin was gonna hold up his end of the deal, or he should of spoken up about getting the landry done but nope. He'd trusted his big brother and was paying the price for it now in spades.

'And now I have to wear a diaper all day tomorrow..Maybe I'll wait till Monday to go and talk with Max.' Alex thought.

it would mean putting his plans on hold for a bit but he really didn't wanna waddle the block and a half over to Max's with pampers on under his pants.

Finishing up the folding and putting the clothes away Alex checked to make sure that his rubber sheet was dry and tugged in his blanket he'd hung out the window to dry (as it would of taken up too much room in the machines to do Justin's landry too) and with it dry he started to make his bed.

'God, what did I ever do to deserve a asshole like him for a big brother.' Alex whined mentally and finished making his bed, looking it over and then jumping and letting out a girlish shriek as a hand came on his shoulder.

"heh, Relax sweetie, it's mommy." Came his mother voice, sounding a little amused.

"That's ok, I didn't need that heart." Alex huffed, blushing and turning around to face his smirking mother. "what's up mom?"

"Well I wanted to come up and check on how the folding was going and to help you get ready for bed." She said with a smile.

"...Mom it's not even 8 yet, and it's a Saturday night.." Alex said, not liking where this was going.

"Oh You can stay up and everything till 11 like normal, but I just wanna make sure you don't conk out with your 'special armor' on." she said, using finger quotes.

"Mom I think I'm quite capable of putting my own diaper on." Alex huffed, feeling a hot blush cover his face.

"And yet you soaked your bed earlier." She cheerfully pointed out.

"T-That was different, I was just all tired and didn't realize I'd be conking out!" Alex whined, sounding more like a fussy toddler the the big kid he was trying to be.

"I know sweetie, but it kinda goes with my point. what if you just conk out again tonight? do you really wanna have to go to school on Monday in a diaper?" She asked, and the ruffled his hair.

The mental image of it stopped Alex's whining in it's tracks, picturing himself in a bib and spider-man diaper and sucking on a paci in the halls.

"No way! I'd Dieeeee!" Alex whined and shook his head no A LOT.

"well then let mommy help you out. And also if your gonna keep being so tired maybe we'll lower your bedtime for awhile." She added, then smirked and winced at the glare Alex gave her. "Now now, no using your super pouty powers on family."

"Moooom!" Alex huffed but resigned himself to his fate, when she got like this there was no getting her to back down.

He reached under his bed and pulled out his pack of spider-man diapers and noted that he was running low, and started to tug down his shorts when mom spoke up.

"Oh Alex, before we get your in your bed time diaper, do you have to use the potty?"

"mom, I know I wet the bed but I THINK I would know if had to take a leak or a dump you kn-" Alex started and then there was a loud 10 second poot out of his bottom and his tummy was gurgling.

"You were saying?" Mom asked, holding her nose but smirking."

"I-I'll be back.." Alex said in a small voice, blushing SO bad as he went past her he was shocked his hair hadn't caught on fire.

As she watched him go and had to fight the urge laugh, the little guy's undies had a fresh skid mark appearing on the back.

'Maybe I should look into getting him some of those washable training pants.' She mused.

One trip to the potty later and with Alex realizing what's he'd almost done in his undies, and the fight was all out of the little guy at least for the moment.

Zero fight was put up as he let his mom take his shorts and briefs and then proceed to diaper him, numbly just going along with her requests of butt up and the like.

"Are you sure your feeling alright? Maybe I should of checked your temperature before getting the diaper on." Mom asked, putting a hand to Alex's forehead.

"N-No I'm fine..just I dunno, Tired." Alex said, wincing.

he had to be the only boy his age to still get his temperature checked via the back door and it's wasn't that fun of a experience.

"Hmmm I think somebody better lay off of the sweets for awhile if it leaves you JUST drained after." Mom said and then started to tug Alex's blanket up on him.

"M-Mom what are you doing?" Alex whined, looking at the clock, it was 7:51 PM!

"I think you've had a big day, and your just not feeling that good. it would explain all the huffing and whining too. if you be a good boy and go night night for me now I'll see what I can do to get your father to back off with the all day diaper punishment tomorrow. I have to take you shopping for more diapers anyways with you almost being out and you get embarrassed enough as is when your in your undies."

Alex whined and whimpered a little but after a few seconds just signed and nodded.

"Good boy." She said and leaned down, kissing his forehead and then went and got one of his stuffie style Avengers from their display shelf and handed him Thor.

Lacking the energy to fight back Alex just took the offered stuffie and snuggled into it as his mom turned off the lights in the room and paused at the doorway.

"Night night little guy. Mommy will leave the door open a crack for you so you don't get scared. Love you and see you in the morning." She coo'ed/

"..Love you too mommy." Alex said, blushing.

He hadn't been scared of the door in like ages but somehow mom had the impression he still was and the only reason he wouldn't accept a night light was Justin would complain.

She left the little guy to go to sleep and Alex listened to her footsteps.

'This is bull shit. I'm not some little baby! I bet I don't even fall asleep till 11 anyways.' He huffed, crinkling and squirming in his bed.

Five minutes later he was snoring softly around his thumb as he sucked it in his sleep.

"So did Alex give you much of a fight?" Justin asked as Mom came downstairs.

"Just a token one, he's already gone to bed. I don't think he's feeling well and I think that should excuse him for needing his punishment tomorrow." Anne said, though the last part was more directed at her husband.

"Look, rules are rules, and if we start g-" Jackson started but was cut off.

"Excuse me, but who's idea was the rule that a D or worse meant no TV or computer time, and yet Justin who got a D on his last English test is watching the game with you?" She asked sweetly.

Justin gulped now and turned to his dad.

"Uh..you know..I think mom's right, we can't punish Alex if he had his accident because he's sick!" Justin chimed in.

"Heh, Nice try buddy but your mother is right in a way. I can't really punish your brother and not punish you. "Jackson said

"Soooo Alex isn't wearing a diaper tomorrow?" Justin asked hopefully.

"try again buddy, but do it in anther room so I can finish watching the game." Jackson chuckled and ruffled his sons hair as the 12 year old pouted.

"Finnne, I'll just go to my room an-." he started to huff and went to get up.

"ahhh nope. First of all I know you well enough you'll just go on your laptop." Anne said. "and second of all your brother is sleeping. Don't worry though, we have LOTS of board games you can play with me."

"Geee, spending Saturday night playing board games with my mom. aren't I lucky." Justin groaned

One mind numbing night of games later and Justin went to bed, taking note of the fact that Alex had semi drenched his pillow in drool and was still sucking his thumb.

'Heh, He's kinda cute...Still gonna make him a big dumb diaper nerd chore boy..but he's cute.' Justin thought before going and climbing into his bed.

as he went to go to sleep he had the most wonderful evil idea that could at the same time be played off as just being a nice big brother and help get 'revenge' on Alex for making him miss the end of the game.

'Hehehehe damn I'm so smart!' Justin chuckled and dropped off to sleep.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Victor Valentine Card story ‘‘Seeking for what’s frightening’’

Translation of Victor Valentine’s 4* ‘’Gothic Halloween’’ card story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Gray: Uwah, amazing… Did you make this, Victor-san…?

Victor: Yes, this robot was built by me. I’m occupied with pouring all my time into producing these for the upcoming Halloween League.

Gray:  I had assumed you were leaning more towards biochemistry… But to be able to build robots too, that’s seriously amazing...

Victor: As you thought my area of expertise is chemistry, however if I had to be honest, I barely have the confidence to manufacture these… 

Victor: And on top of it, I had been also struggling with the design itself...

Gray: Eh… Wondering if it has enough punch to it, you mean… I already think it’s scary enough as is though....

Victor: Adding that pinch of “scary” has been considerably difficult. I’ve been making these as requested by Marion, but as far as the details go, I’ve only received how it should be thematically based on “evil spirits of Halloween”.

Victor: Naturally I have referred to literature to form a general outline on the matter, but what traits resemble an “evil spirit”, about it having a factor of “spookiness” to it...  No matter how far I go with investigating the matter, I simply cannot draw the line where it’d be most suitable.

Gray: Like evil spirits… spookiness….

Victor: What is your impression of it, Gray? Do you think it’s able to represent those traits of an “evil spirit”?

Gray: Eh? Eeeh… uh, um…

Victor: Please do not hold yourself back, and be as candid as you can.

Gray: Be as candid as I can… Right, right...

Gray: Whether or not it looks like one, I can say that it’s absolutely close but… Um… on the contrary, it might actually be a bit too scary... 

Gray: H-how do I say this… It’s like originally you were going for CERO A but ended up heading towards CERO D instead…?

Victor: CERO……? What may that be?

Gray: Ah… awawah, sorry…. I used a game rating system for scale… a Japanese one too…

Gray: The Halloween League is an event that children will attend, in terms of gaming that would be for an event for all ages...

Gray: But, as of now it feels more that it’s heading towards a more mature audience… So I was thinking all like, how about aiming for a younger one instead~... but please don’t mind it too much...

Victor: Hmm, I see…That is very interesting, or I should rather say an intriguing point of view.

Victor: I will do as you said and make an attempt to aim for a younger demographic, however with how it has been currently going, I don’t quite have the grasp on what I should do to change it.

Victor: If you don’t mind, could you tell me more about video games for all ages to use as a reference point going forward?

Gray: !! O-ofcourse…!

-

Victor: Hooh.... Even though it’s shortly summed up as for all ages, there seems to be quite a variety of video games.

Gray: For now I kept it limited and looked up horror games that came to mind… You’d come across even more games if you were to look it up

Gray: Uuum… if you’re looking for a game that has enemies that are “evil spirit”-like, then maybe this one…?

Victor: Yes, that kind of caricature is good. It gives an impression closely resembling the ones in animation for children. 

Gray: P-personally I think it’s good if it’s as scary as these enemy characters here but… That is for you to decide...

Victor: Hmm…. If I were to judge from your perspective, would this be more scarier?

Gray: Eh? Yes… it, would be….?

Gray: I feel, that the difference is pretty obvious but… you don’t seem to think so, Victor-san?

Victor: Indeed. Even though we’re going in a different direction, I don’t feel that any of them are frightening, thus making it difficult to judge.

Gray: R-right…

Gray: Uh… I’m just asking this out of curiosity but… Is there, something that you’re scared of, Victor-san…?

Victor: Something that I’m scared of?

Gray: Ah, aaah, uuum, it’s just… it’s okay if it’s too hard to answer, or if you don’t want to! I suddenly asked something weird anyway, I’m sorry….

Victor: Fufu, what are you apologizing for? I don’t believe it was odd by any means.

Victor: Something I’m scared of… you ask? I haven’t played any video games before so on that matter I have nothing to say, and in regards to horror movies I don’t recall being frightened once. 

Gray: Eh… so you’re like, totally fine with ghosts and demons and all that…?

Victor: More that I don’t believe in such things due to my point of view as a scientist, rather than being fine with it.

Victor: Well, realistically speaking “Ghosts believing scientists” such as Nova are not too uncommon out there.

Victor: I do want to believe in the possibility of it… Unfortunately, I have yet to see a theory that justifies it to begin with. 

Gray: Wah… you’re amazing, Victor-san…. Makes me a bit embarrassed given how I accidentally believe in anything...

Victor: No, I wouldn’t say that I am. I do occasionally envy those who are able to simply enjoy horror movies as is.

Gray: Is that so…?

Victor: Do you have any issues when it comes to horror and occult, Gray?

Gray: Aah, no… I’ve built up a tolerance for it because of games that are full of it...

Gray: Besides, I think… humans are scarier than any ghost or demon, 100 times more scarier even….

Victor: Human themselves…. For example, such as Asch Albright?

Gray: !! Eh, eeeeh…. yes… His name alone makes me sweat bullets, weirdly enough...

Gray: But, not just A….sch, but I’m scared of coming in contact with other people in general...

Gray: Even before talking to them actually, like what if they hate me…. what if they think I’m weird… that’s all I end up thinking about

Victor: Which means that you are currently feeling the same sense of dread when talking to me this moment?

Gray: T-that’s right… Aaah, but, you’re not scary Victor-san… Um, it’s just...

Victor: Yes, I understand. I’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t believe there’s anything odd about you, Gray. 

Gray: V-Victor-san….!

Victor: My apologies for getting us sidetracked. Could you lend me your wisdom for a little longer? 

Gray: Ah, yes… yes of course!

--

Nova: Oooh, looks like you made a lotta progress~ Making ghouls and all♪

Victor: I was able to because of the advice I had received from Gray, and so I was finally able to see the light.

Nova: Good pals with Gray-kun now, eh? Well with Ren-kun too but, lately more people have been dropping by your lab. Lookit this celebrity here~♪

Victor: ...You’re surprisingly in a good mood today, aren’t you now?

Nova: Mmh, haven’t slept so I’m feeling somewhat all over the place

Nova: I’ve been absorbed into making these robots too, and before I knew it three whole days had passed~ That scared me real good, yanno

Nova: Wait a second, nobody came to see me in these three days….!? I wanna be a celeb tooooo~!

Victor: How about resting your mind and body, rather than dawdling around here?

Nova: Naaw~ The adrenaline’s coursing through my veins, not feeling tired in the slightest~ 

Nova: Whatever you say, making these robots is right where I belong. Had lotsa fun doing it too

Nova: Obviously I’m paying enough attention to safety and all that, but there’s more space to feel at ease compared to what I usually do for work….

Nova: Not that I’m forgetting substance research by any means, it’s just pretty nerve-racking when combined with making assets and tools for the heroes to fight with 

Nova: Didn’t mean to pay that much mind to it, still it’s a heavy responsibility to have one’s life in your hands... 

Nova: Makes me go all like, damn, this fear of failure and what to do about it sure is always growing ain’t it now!~ like some kinda realisation each time, yanno

Victor: ….., fear….

Nova: You’re always doing such a fantastic job, me~

Nova: A Summerfieldtastic job~....

Victor: …….

Nova: Eh, no response!? Here I was putting all my energy into being an idiot, and instead of straight manning me, you straight up ignore me!?

Victor: Aah, my apologies… There was something on my mind.

Victor: What did you say?

Nova: I-I didn’t say a word! Vic’s a dummy! I’m gonna go to my room and sleep! Good-NIGHT!!!

Victor: …..?

-

Fun trivia corner:

The Japanese game rating goes from CERO A to D, and Z. All ages would be CERO A, for 12 years old and above CERO B, for 15 years old and above CERO C, for 17 years old and above CERO D, and at last CERO Z for 18 and above. The European one is PEGI with age specific ratings (PEGI-3, or PEGI-18) and the American one is ESRB, with letter codes such as T for teen, M for mature, and so on. Helios is rated as 12+ on the Apple app store, that would be CERO A, PEGI-12 or ESRB T.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at National Bowl in Milton Keynes, UK - June 5, 1982 (Part-1)

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It was originally intended for the band to play this concert at Arsenal Stadium in Highbury, but it was moved to Milton Keynes for the same reason the Leeds show wasn't played at the famed Old Trafford. It's also worth noting that the band wanted to play at London's famous Royal Albert Hall as well, but the plan was never orchestrated as there was much fear that the weight of Queen's lighting rig would make the ceiling cave in. An early tour itinerary listed two London shows (June 4 and 5) on the agenda. The Teardrop Explodes were among the bands (the same line-up as last week in Leeds) who opened for Queen at this show. Their guitarist, Julian Cope, stood before about 40 thousand Queen fans and introduced the next song as being probably the best song they had ever heard, prompting someone near the stage to throw a toilet seat at him, which missed (people are known to bring cameras and certain substances to concerts, but toilet seats?). Lemonade bottles were then thrown at the guitarist which he tossed back into the audience. The complete Queen concert was filmed. A shortened video was shown on UK TV on a show called "The Tube" in January 1983 (omitting Action This Day, the bit of Las Palabras de Amor, Back Chat, Get Down Make Love, part of the guitar solo, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Another One Bites The Dust, and Sheer Heart Attack), and on MTV in the US in August 1983 (the latter was a simulcast, with the audio being broadcast on FM radio in stereo, on the west coast, at least). The video was edited by Gavin Taylor, who was later invited by the band to direct the now famous video at Wembley Stadium in 1986. An even shorter version (about 50 minutes long) of the Milton Keynes video was shown on UK TV in 2001 (and many times since). Both the Milton Keynes and Wembley shows would eventually be released on DVD uncut. The 2004 official release of this show (both on CD and DVD) is called "Queen On Fire: Live At The Bowl". The DVD is a beautiful document of Queen's show at the time, packed full of classic Queen moments. There are also extras from 1982 shows in Vienna and Tokyo. After a great version of Play The Game, Freddie essentially apologizes to the audience for much of the latest album's content: "Now most of you know that we've got some new songs out in the last week. For what it's worth we're gonna do a few songs in the funk/black category, whatever you call it. That doesn't mean we've lost our rock and roll feel, okay? I mean it's only a bloody record. People get so excited about these things! We just wanna try out a few songs. This is Staying Power." For some reason part of the speech was removed for the CD release of "Live At The Bowl." Without a doubt this is his definitive live delivery of the song, pulling off all of the stops. Mercury is at his peak tonight. Somebody To Love has been a vocal adventure of Freddie's for the past couple years. His intro is different every night, as is his solo spot towards the end. The version captured here on film is surely one of his best. Before launching into the familiar piano theme, he asks the audience in a moment for the ages, "Are you ready?" And in excitement, "Huh? Are you ready brothers and sisters?" Part way through his vocal exchange with the audience in Now I'm Here, Freddie says, "C'mon, we're gonna make you sing like Aretha Franklin." At the end of the successful duel, he jokingly says, "Right, you can join the band!" The r&b influence is never more evident than it is here, and it makes for a classic version of the song. Brian breaks a string just before his guitar solo in Dragon Attack. While he switches to a Red Special copy, John Deacon gets to play the bass solo as it's heard on the record - the one and only time he has the chance to do it. It's on the fly, and he nails it note for note. "Las Palabras de Amor" was released as a single a few days ago, and Brian plays a small bit of it on his 12-string acoustic before Love Of My Life. He then mentions how the band won't be playing their "song of peace" tonight, as he calls it. This remains the only show where the Hot Space ballad would be referenced. Brian's guitar briefly cuts out during his solo spot, a moment that was edited out of the 1983 TV broadcasts (and slightly edited on the CD release) but seen uncut on the DVD. Brian's guitar tech is seen rushing on and off stage within seconds, having quickly resolved the issue (it was likely a sticky pickup switch). About half way through Sheer Heart Attack, Brian sneaks in the riff from I Go Crazy an octave up, and much faster, to match the tempo of the energetic News Of The World rocker. The song would be dropped from the set after this show, only to emerge again late in the pending North American tour. This would be Morgan Fisher's last show with the band as the touring keyboardist. A number of theories abound about his departure, including butting heads with Mercury's personal manager Paul Prenter or his apparent fear of flying, but it was simply a case of him moving on to other gigs (Fisher confirmed in a 2009 interview that he has never been afraid of airplanes). The CD and DVD releases would be patched up a bit, most notably in the third verse of Fat Bottomed Girls where Freddie's voice cracked badly on "locality," as well as for "now I'm here, now I'm there." Roger's timing with the guitar delays at the end of May's solo spot was bit off at the show, but this is fixed up as well. The sound quality as a whole is much better than the broadcasts, but there are a couple differences in the mix - some of Brian's backing vocals (particularly at the end of Somebody To Love) can be clearly heard in the broadcast mix but were brought down for the official releases, and compression has been added to Roger's snare drum, giving it a much fatter sound compared to Queen Rock Montreal. Brian May and Roger Taylor are interviewed before the show, as shown on the Bowl DVD and the original TV broadcasts. Brian reveals that he really enjoys playing Play The Game. He explains, "You've done your leaping about, and you've made your statement on your entry. And then you can settle down and start really playing something." Roger says his current favourite is Under Pressure. On the day before this show Freddie's boyfriend at the time had bitten him between his thumb and forefinger during a fight, causing it to bleed profusely and require stitches. On the DVD, Freddie is seen tossing the bandage around just before coming on stage. The sixth picture was submitted by Fabio Minero, and the eighth is from Alessio Rizzitelli. The second set was taken by Brenski.

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Fan Stories

“At the time, I was living on the Mull Of Kintyre on the West coast of Scotland. I remember being elated at getting tickets for the last gig of the UK tour. I always tried to get 'last night' tickets, because the band were famous for always going a little more 'over the top' on each of their tour's final nights. So, we drove down from Scotland, which took an eternity with fuel and meal stops, and stayed at the in-law's on the south coast of England. The next day we set for the 'new-town' of Milton Keynes, about 100 miles or so, away. We got there quite early before the gates opened and the weather was unsettled, lightly raining for about five minutes nearly every other hour. The support bands for the day were 'Teardrop Explodes', who had a fairly big hit with a song called 'Reward'. I quite liked Julian Cope and his band, but this WAS a rock gig, and the audience weren't generally as receptive to this brass backed 'new romantic' style of music. The customary sea of lemonade bottles headed towards the stage ensued. Now it was over twenty years ago, and the memory starts to fade a bit after a while, so I'm not sure whether 'Heart' were next on, or 'Joan Jett and the Blackhearts'. Either way, both bands played well, and were most enjoyable. Joan Jett had recently had a very big hit with 'I Love Rock'n'Roll' (very recently covered by Britney Spears), and the crowd loved that one. This was prior to 'Heart' having a major hit in the UK, but they were at that time an established and well known band. Looking at the stage, there were these items that looked like little vehicles hanging from the gantry, we later found out that these were individual self contained lighting platforms with a guy sat in each directing three spotlights wherever they were required to do so. The Queen set itself started with an extended backing tape from the intro of Flash Gordon. Most of you will have seen the video of this gig, so I won't labour on about what they played too much. Only that the crowd, as a whole, weren't into the 'Hot Space' numbers that much. Personally, I was watching my favourite band, so I didn't really care what they played, as long as it was theirs. The bits cut out of the video, included an intro to 'Las Palabras De Amor' from Brian, (just before 'Love Of My Life'), though they never actually played the whole song, Brian announced that they were not doing their song of peace tonight. Brian's two-day guitar solo was edited out, as was 'Fat Bottomed Girls', the intro harmonies on this did come across as pretty iffy, and of all songs, they also edited out 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love', much to my disappointment, as I'd heckled Freddie about his ability as a guitarist, and 'stone me', he only went and answered me. Knebworth '86 was a much better show, but I know I'm lucky enough to have had the honour to be able to compare them.”  - Steve_C/Kes

Part-2

Part-3

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[kainetestament]

Pietro, no Fietro could still possibly be Peter from X-Men Universe… Maybe?

So as revealed in Episode 9 of WandaVision, the identity of Fietro is none other than Ralph Bohner, the husband Agness always mention, and a possible real resident of Westview. WV director Matt Shakman already clarified that the “Bohner” is actually a reference to his 80’s sitcom Growing Pains. But for many fans of Evan Peters, this “Bohner” joke didn’t play well and at the same time, let us breakdown everything that is wrong with this identity of Ralph Bohner and why he’s suspicious despite the claim of WandaVision writers/director that Evan Peters has nothing to do with the mutants or X-Men Universe, after all they always deny everything. They even mentioned that they had no idea that Evan Peters appearance will cause so many theories and everything, which I highly doubt, I mean come on, they made him play QuickSilver in WandaVision when he is QuickSilver himself only of another universe. I don’t dissed ATJ, I love this guy too from his Kickass, Godzilla movie (this is where I first encounter ATJ before his QS role in Avengers), but as a QS, Evan Peters top him, on my opinion at least, he even has his own QS commercials. Also, Evan Peters have more cool QS moments, the Kitchen scene VS the Age of Ultron overall, at least for me, I prefer the kitchen scene and the whiplash part. Anyhow, let us begin:

 Note: I edited this post to make this article more easier to read and added additional info.

1. Speculations roaming around that Ralph Bohner could be an aspiring actor because the picture is actually his headshot (which actually looks like his earlier AHS photos). I’m not going to debunk this possibility, but I do not believe it’s a headshot nor he’s an aspiring actor. Although true enough, the image does looks like of Evan Peters early AHS photos (kind of like Tate Langdon) – which is probably a reference to that, who knows.

2. The pile of papers on the side table. It is questionable why would your papers, a bill (a very old bill even - not folded or inside one of those envelopes) and your photos in plain sight where Monica – an outsider can see it? Almost as if you planned it all along and he wanted Monica to see it.

3. Necromancy vs Crystallum Possession. Necromancy is a dark arts of when the person (the Necromancer) can manipulate the dead body of the person, or summoning their spirit. Crystallum Possession however is also part of the dark arts but this time you are using an object (like crystals, gems, stones etc) that is embodied with the user’s spells to manipulate the wearer.

Agatha had told Wanda that what she does is a crystallum possession since necromancy is a no-no due to his brother’s body is on another continent, and since this Pietro died in 2014, it should now be bones, I think the “full of holes” remark is nothing more than a mocking remark, because if it’s not, then Marvel will probably have their own interpretation of Necromancy and Crystallum Possession, and this could probably go darker. And Ralph is wearing a bead necklace that is embedded with Agatha’s power. But is Agatha really in full control of Ralph? Honestly, I don’t think so. Why? Because in Episode 6, Peter said about Wanda’s costume “Worse than the costume mom made us the year we got typhus”, then she reminisced “that year”, and told him  “That’s not exactly how I remember it.” because in her universe, she isn’t wearing Halloween costume she thinks is worse and she didn’t deny about them getting typhus, so what are the odds of Agatha/Fietro getting that info if he is not Peter? Also, we don’t know how MARVEL will tell the story multiverse/alternate timelines (the Russo Brothers already claimed that they have their own way of telling this story), but if we are looking for a one generic rule, major life events will occur but will be told uniquely as per their universe, on this case Peter and Wanda did had a typhus, but in Peter’s world, his Wanda and him are probably wearing whatever cosplay outfit their mom made and in Wanda and Pietro are just wearing something simple, or it could be that Peter really just have a weird sense of style.

4. The WATER BILL. Now, this is a real bill, it is not part of Wanda’s illusion, this is Ralph’s actual water bill, because Ralph’s house was under Agatha’s spell, which makes it exempted from Wanda’s spell.  Also, if you go frame by frame, you can actually see the word “Water”, “PAST DUE” on the right column part of the bill, before it totally goes out of focus and you can only read the left side part, that also says “YOUR MONTHLY USAGE (1,000 GAL INCREMENTS)”, which further validates it’s a water bill, not a phone bill nor electricity bill as others actually claim. And here is the tricky part, the bill’s date. On the right side under the STATEMENT is the Account Information (using Arial font), it’s a bit hard to make out of it, but it’s actually an old bill. Before it becomes totally blurry, you can read the right part of the bill that says:

STATEMENT

ACCOUNT INFORMATION

ACCOUNT:                      09-3476-12

SERVICE ADDRESS:     2804 SHERWOOD DRIVE

BILL DATE:                     10/01/2020

DUE DATE:                     10/31/2020

If we go back to Infinity War, it takes place in June 2018. So that means that this Ralph Bohner survived the SNAP, but what could happen to him in year 2019-2020? Who knows, I don’t even know if I should care or not.

If we check on the usage chart – which is “not blurred” (it’s also in increments of 12 – 12/24/36/48/60), and I’ll just speculate on the numbers on the meter chart, so don’t take my word for it. Also, I don’t know what Marvel is planning or hinting by showing this insignificant 2020 bill, which also has confusing usage. (I’ll just use term like pcm – per cubic meter, so that it won’t just be plain numbers beside the month).

January - 6 pcm

February – 18 pcm

March – 6 pcm

April – 6 pcm

June – 6 pcm

July – 9 pcm

August – 13 pcm

September – 22 pcm

October – 34 pcm

(November and December have gray shade - similar to the one in month of Jan-May).

Again, I don’t know what’s the significance of not blurring this part of the bill while the right side column is properly blurred. And the confusing part of this bill, is the bill date is of 10/01/2020 – meaning Ralph had received this bill during the first week of October, but why is there already a usage for the full month of October, when usage should be only show up to the month of September? After the Account Information, there’s the

METER INFORMATION (WATER)

USAGE   PREVIOUS   DATE      CURRENT       DATE

4             1963 (?)        09/01/20      *- - - -*          *- - - -*

The PREVIOUS actually looks like either 1063 or 1963, and oddly enough the first Avengers Comics was published on September 1, 1963, I don’t know if that’s a reference to that, but from my pov, it shouldn’t be because this series is inspired of House of M and a bit touch of West Coast Avengers, which was already reference by the SUV plate number in Episode 7. The CURRENT and DATE are both unreadable, I can only identify _ _ _ 2 in CURRENT and 0_/_ _/20 for the DATE after.

And let’s also not forget that outside the HEX, it is August 2023 and as per Episode 8, inside the HEX is currently year 2013 as shown in the auditorium behind the lighting after it explained how Wanda created Vision. I don’t know if this is a reference to something from the past MCU projects (X-Men even) or future franchise like Falcon and Winter Soldier, who knows, really. I just find it weird why they didn’t blurry the meter chart while the rest are. But why year 2020? Why isn’t this bill thrown out yet? Didn’t Monica notice that billing date of the bill?

5. The man-cave. The staff really transformed Fietro’s man-cave into very, very Peter-like (if he really is not Peter). I will list thing that are present and similar to what Peter of X-Men Universe room have. I’ll reference * (single asterisk) for Days of Future Past, ** (double asterisk) for Apocalypse, and *** (triple asterisk) for both films.

❀ comfortable couch***

❀ guitar*** 

❀ headphones***

❀ balls*

❀ lots of posters***

❀ bike***

❀ a bar**

❀ shoes on the floor**

❀ different types of drinks (non alcoholic)***

Also, lots of silver/metallic items such as:

❀ silver lamp**

❀ silver TV

❀ silver house ventilation tubes

❀ silver pillowcases (looks gray on other angles)

❀ silver mini fridge

❀ silver microwave oven

❀ silver rack (where TV and speaker stands)    

❀ silver wristwatch*

❀ video games*** (both PS & XBox)

and even something that looks like a stolen goods like the Tiki Bar plaque, Tiger head.

This Fietro is basically just missing the goggles, I did my best to look for it (like on those detective games that instructs you to find this and that *lol*), but there’s really none *laugh*. Also, I just noticed the arrangement of his man-cave – single-seat couch** > small side table with a lamp** > 3-seater couch (the Apocalypse has an L-shape couch though) > a middle coffee table**, this arrangement is similar to Peter’s man-cave in Apocalypse which can be slightly seen when his mom came down saying “Just checking on you” (you can watch it at starting point 1:02:55, at least on my copy), you just need to look for proper timing because a few of those shots are out of focus probably due to her obviously looking somewhere reading her lines that are raised besides the camera, which became even more obvious  when she did a close up shot when she told him “But trust me, this won’t end well. Nothing does with him.” 

Also, in Episode 5, when Peter first made an appearance, the leather jacket he’s wearing is eerily similar to the one he’s wearing in his cameo appearance in Deadpool 2 (we only got the glimpse of the front of the jacket in Deadpool but the front side of his jacket in WandaVision is identical). Though I find it weird too that his hair color switch from silver to light ash blonde.

6. Ralph is the guy under witness protection? I doubt it, although honestly at first I considered maybe he is, but after a few thinking, it doesn’t lead to it, because if he’s in witness protection, and the person who is managing him forgets him because of Wanda, FBI database should still at least have a photo of him to be able to identify him, and Jimmy in episode 7 saw Peter and never commented about him being their missing guy. As we all know, the house is under the name Ralph Bohner, who we can assume survived the SNAP and possibly left that house in September 2020. If he had left the house way back in 2020, why does Agent Woo or FBI rather only checked it now? Also, if Ralph Boner is indeed the guy under witness protection, it is the FBI that pays off their bill, on this case, the Water Bill was past due even if it was an old bill, so I don’t think he is.

7. Does Ralph Boner really exist? This is actually something that I have given some thought. Because if we think of QuickSilver, one of his abilities as per comics is his Quick Intelligence. His mind process a lot of things much faster than an average person. Peter spying on everyone and pretending to be someone else in an unknown world is not surprising, let alone using everything he can take advantage of. It can be that the bill is fake and there is really no Ralph Bohner, or just like what I mentioned in #7, he could’ve possibly left in September 2020 and hasn’t returned yet, and Peter assumes this identity to avoid suspicion.

If we are to assume he really is Peter Maximoff of X-Men Universe (Earth-TRN414) and crossed over to Earth-616, I did consider this could also be the house where he lives as per his universe and just so happens that Ralph Bohner is the current owner of the house in this MCU. Also, Xavier Institute is located in NY and in Days of Future Past, they only drove from NY to his house via rental car, which we can assume that he doesn’t live that far from NY, after all NY and NJ are neighbors.

8. Also this has nothing to do with Ralph/Fietro, but something I noticed, that the outside anomaly or outside of Westview – about the selective amnesia has yet to be answered. It only explained that Wanda is manipulating the people INSIDE, but not the ones outside the HEX. What actually come to mind when I think about it is that it can be a work by a TELEPATH which can be either Charles Xavier or Emma Frost (no Jean Grey? Yes I excluded her). What I am actually thinking is that the person under witness protection is a spy sent by Charles or possibly working with him. He could have implanted false memory to the so called “family and friends”, so when the HEX was established, the strings got cut off hence no one could remember this “missing person” anymore, and Jimmy who has nothing to do with this “missing person” is not affected by the selective amnesia and assumes the responsibility of looking for him. And assuming Charles is the telepath who altered their memories of the people outside of Westview, he probably has done it as a precaution since he couldn’t contact his spy or “missing person” and wouldn’t take the risk of endangering the resident who were happened to be outside the HEX when Wanda establishes it.

These are just some of the things I find that doesn’t make sense with Ralph’s identity. But we’ll just leave it at that. I still really want James McAvoy back as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Magneto, since both Sir Ian McKKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart did mention they’re done with their role. And I feel that it’s too risky to use them since they are in their 80’s now, I don’t know them personally but it gives me some sorts of paranoia *laughs* thinking they might get injured.

[purplesurveys]

1175

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it?  My dinner had broccoli and bell peppers in it.

What was your last Facebook notification for?  It was Aliyah replying to our comment thread on one of my posts. There wasn’t anything in her comment that was worth replying to anymore, so I just reverted with a Haha react.

What bands have you seen live? Paramore, Coldplay (not super legally), and One Direction.

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother:  She almost became a flight attendant, but she failed the final screening because of her height. I think the idea of her nearly having a completely different career is very interesting.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13?  In my case, probably getting my period. I got my first one when I was barely 10.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore?  Chicken curry. I also hateeeeeeeed Dora the Explorer with a passion, but now I find the show hilarious haha.

What are your plans later today? My work sched this week had been so fucking PACKED, that I want to do nothing but catch up on sleep all weekend. But seeing as I’m a proponent of revenge bedtime procrastination, I also highly doubt I’d let myself fall into a nap (Exhibit A: Me currently taking this survey at 2 AM...) If anything, I’ll probably just continue watching BTS In The Soop and finally start on Season 2 of Bon Voyage.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend?  Well, it’s the weekend already, so...that ^ I will also have to take Cooper to the vet this Sunday.

Who do you talk to the most? Other than my team at work, Angela. I’ve been extra talkative these days because of our now-mutual excessive love for BTS, that I sometimes feel bad that I keep bombarding her with messages.

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old?  Talk to my friends who are still in college, especially when they update me about the current happenings in UP that I have absolutely no clue about anymore.

Who is your best guy friend(s)?  I don’t have any best guy friends.

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?  Neither; I’m fine with my tannish skin tone.

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it?  Keep it; I already do.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nah. My last one had been nearly 5 years ago, when I needed to get my back checked for scoliosis.

Do you think your first love still loves you?  No. And that’s okay. :)

What is something that is “going right” in your life?  EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGG I am so so happy with my life right now weeeee. I have the job of my dreams – I’m even working with THE ACTUAL K-POP GROUP SLASH PHENOMENON SLASH ICONS BTS for one of the clients I handle FHKDHGKHGFDKGHDKGH, I have the best and most supportive friends in the world, and I am now starting to grow my collection of BTS merch with my hard-earned money. Everything is going abso-fucking-lutely perfectly, and to think I didn’t think I would make it past 2020.

When did you feel ready to start dating?  Middle of high school.

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s?  I was play fighting with Cooper earlier tonight, and he got a little bit excited and ended up biting my upper lip quite harder than usual. It stung for a while, but it’s okay now.

Where were you the last time you made out?  I think it was my bedroom.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? Yesterday.

How do you type your sad smileys?  Just this :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house?  Nope.

What was the last soda you drank?  Probably the Coke I drank at an org event last year, pre-pandemic, out of sheer thirst. There wasn’t any water being served so I just gulped down the soda and tried to ignore the annoying fizziness. I don’t drink soda.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for?  I was having a video call session with my workmates this afternoon as a way to end the week on a good note, and I recounted my experience of being locked out of the office while I was in the middle of a presentation for a client, and how I managed to get myself back in.

Have you ever had any type of surgery?  Nope.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent?  No.

Who was the last person to hit on you?  No one has in a while.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to?  A deliverable a client asked me to do. It can wait til Monday.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone?  Maybe straight up admitting to my mom that she can be hurtful sometimes. It’s hard because she never actually processes things like that and they do nothing but vanish into thin air, even though it takes everything in me to be that honest.

What do you put on hot dogs?  Mayonnaise.

Ever fallen in the shower?  Like once, when I was 10 or 11.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?  Continued from last night. It was probably ‘bitch.’ Based on what I’ve learned from my mom, I put extra effort in particuarly watching what comes out of my mouth, because I know how words stick.

Do you think that things will get better?  I did, and now it has.

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?  I think I may have. The story is a little triggering though, so I wouldn’t share it.

What’s your favourite book genre?  Doesn’t really count as a genre but I like auto/biographies.

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?  I’ve felt like it, but I’ve never done it.

Do dogs like you?  Yes, at least for 99.5% of my experiences.

Would you say that you project an air of authority?  In certain circles. But there are some groups where I trust others to lead rather than me.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  Nah, because I’ve never seen one. But even if I did, I think I would be too scared to do it hahaha.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body)  One. I use it to wash my entire body already.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes?  No.

Who do you know that had a baby recently?  The son of one of my old college instructors. I believe she had been born in March because that prof recently posted family photos on Facebook that celebrated the baby’s first monthsary.

Do you like Usher’s songs?  Not in particular.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark?  Not a big fan of these as I find them unhygienic haha. The last time must have been...like anywhere between 12-15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? Just once, and I had to go with Jum because I didn’t want to go alone.

What do you eat your French fries with?  Mayonnaise. If there isn’t any available, I’d want the fries to at least be generously sprinkled with salt; otherwise I’d find it too bland.

Do you have family problems?  Nothing blatant, but I know we are more dysfunctional than how we make it out to be.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale?  Pizza. I got two extra large boxes for my birthday last Wednesday and until now we still have some of it around :((( I ate some slices at around 3 AM earlier and they were tough as fuck to chew, hahaha. Still good, though.

How do you like your grilled cheese?  I don’t have grilled cheese sandwiches often. Surprise me.

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked?  I don’t cook.

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  I liked watching my cousin play video games; playing outside; and answering my friends’ autograph books (aka my pre-survey days, lol).

Have you ever been close to drowning? Yup but just once. I was swimming and was just about to come up for air when one of my cousins, coming from the bottom of the pool, suddenly started to playfully pull me down. I was nearly out of breath by then and he had a much stronger grip on me, so I struggled for a while and ended up panicking and thrashing around a bit before I was able to wriggle myself free.

Have you ever had a panic attack?  It’s rare that it happens, but when it does it’s really bad and there’s no telling when it would subside.

Do you like doing housework?  Some, and only if I’m in the mood to. If I feel like I have to do it, then I get lazy.

Would you ever get implants?  I considered it before as a teen, back when small-chested girls were still bullied or made fun of on an everyday basis. How fucked up is that? I’m so relieved at how much social media has progressed.

Do you own a robe?  No.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? I have a younger sister but she’s barely a baby; she’s literally turning 21 this year. Nina.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off?  I like crust as long as it’s normal crust or stuffed crust. I can’t stand thin crust.

What was the last song you listened to?  Euphoria - credited to BTS, but it’s a Jungkook solo.

Have any of your family members been to jail?  Not blood relatives, but I know of super extended unrelated family members who’ve been to prison. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with?  I don’t think so. Sometimes no closure is closure.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read?  I can’t, actually. All I remember is that I suddenly wanted to read everything by the time I was 5 and asked for nothing but storybooks every Christmas.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most?  College. Gabie also had a very big influence on me during our relationship.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yes, but it was because it was already decayed.

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school?  No, but I do elements of it in my work so that works out well for me. I wanted to be an author when I was in grade school, and today I regularly write various materials in my job.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into?  I just wanna get reconnected with The Crown again. I was already into it but I had to stop watching for a LONG time, because the show had some personal connections to my ex and so it seemed hard to get into the new season without breaking down lol. Now that I’m doing fine, I feel like it’s a good time to revisit the show.

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military?  Won’t happen here, but it’s the kind of situation where I wouldn’t really have a choice and would have to follow.

What is your favorite Queen song?  I don’t have any.

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? What do you mean, use...? Don’t you just use money to pay?? Hahaha or if you mean convert, then yeah I know how to do that with several currencies – US dollar, Korean won, Euro, Japanese yen, and whatever official name the pound has.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you?  Nope.

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test?  I have not.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do?  I usually don’t have plans laid out on weekends these days anymore, so lately it’s all been a matter of winging it and just wanting to make sure that by the end of the day I get to say I made the most out of my free time.

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl?  The time we did museum hopping + Italian dinner, or the one where we had French dinner + jazz bar.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once?  I never do rewatches for movies still in cinemas.

What is the reason you’re still alive?  I was stubborn and wanted to see if life would get better; I didn’t want to leave my dogs behind; I didn’t want to miss out on how potentially great and exciting my life could end up being; I didn’t want to cause and leave an even bigger emotional rift on my family.

I’m so happy I stayed.

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom?  Yeah. Not the best decision, and I wouldn’t do it again lol.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed?  Sometimes, so that it doesn’t look like a bird’s nest when I wake up the next day.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.)  I don’t think so. I have definitely imagined it in...other ways, though.

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it?  Both in the superficial and loaded senses, yeah. 

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about?  I felt kind of like shit, just because I slept for only 1.5 hours – my body automatically wakes me up by a certain time, no matter what time I fell asleep. And also because my back and shoulder muscles were killing me with how sore they felt.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them?  I show it, but I don’t say it. I’m pretty stingy when it comes to that phrase.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with?  Yes? It shouldn’t be limited to people you’re dating? I express it to Anj and Andi all the time.

Have you ever been threatened before?  Sure.

Would you date someone with a physical disability?  Yes.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  Purely guessing, it’s likely. I’m not updated about her life anymore, though; life has been going on as if she never existed.

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it?  I’ve never had it dyed.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid?  I went out by myself, so I paid.

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income?  Yeah. I had a very good saving streak in which I was able to save anywhere around 50-60% every month...and thennnn I became a fan of BTS early this month LOOOOOL so now I’m back to like square three when it comes to my savings haha. Like I still know my limits and when to fucking stop taking out money from my bank account, but I’ve been spending dramatically more than I have been in the last few months.

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits?  I used to go much more regularly, to the point where it was a part of my daily routine. Now I go at least once a month. I usually check out the Ask Reddit (for anecdotes), Today I Learned (for trivia), and GMM subreddits. Sometimes I’ll get on the Squared Circle subreddit as well to be updated on wrestling.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little?  Many times as a flower girl, yeah.

Are your parents in good health?  Fortunately, yes.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative?  Nope.

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Not that I know of.

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like?  I don’t have pajama sets since I find them too warm.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  Eh, I don’t think so.

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be?  Shoulder muscles or my lower back.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Bees.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like?  No.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

18. Am I the Adult?

Word Count: 4349 Trigger Warnings: Mentions of child endangerment

Previous

Hazel was very excited for Grace’s upcoming birthday. She spent every day that she went outside trying to find the perfect leaf, and she DID! A very red one that would go great with her strawberry dress that would match the theme of the party she was throwing. The caretakers were going to bring Hazel to Grace’s quarters for a scheduled “play date,” and Hazel would take that time to decorate and set up gifts. Staff had gone to the store to get some things for Hazel and basically… They just grabbed all this strawberry stuff from the bargain store party supplies, so Hazel was gonna work with it. 

Grace’s caregiver had even gotten permission to take photos and post them! Which was HUGE for Hazel, as she was never able to be featured online for safety measures, but she guessed that they worked some details out in order for her to be able to be featured on Grace’s page! There would be a photo of them out there, somewhere! It may seem small, but to her, that meant so much. All of this did. 

On the morning that Hazel was setting up things in Grace’s quarters, one of the other staff members came to find her current chaperone. They were talking quietly, in that voice that made Hazel suspicious, so she listened a little harder than she might have if they had just not been sneaky. 

“I promise to take care of it personally, but she’ll be heartbroken if we do it right now.” 

That was all that Hazel heard before she had to pretend to still be doing stuff, like she hadn’t been listening in. “What just happened?” She asked.

“Oh, they were telling me what we need to do after the party. Do you need any help setting things up?”

“Hmmmm…” Hazel studied her, then shrugged her shoulders and said, “I think it’s all set.”

Grace had woken early that day, getting her morning therapy done a little bit earlier than usual. She hadn’t had the time to do any meditation or anything… which was usually her just sitting there trying to think of stuff that she was happy about. The list was short, so it tended to be a quiet time for her. Today, it was even shorter, because her thoughts were irrationally loud. This was the second birthday since her 10th that she was without him. Today was about her, not him. Hazel had asked her to wear something with strawberries on it. Whatever that kid had planned, Grace wanted to be excited about it.

“And that stinks, you know? I’ve got this really good friend in my life and I’m constantly thinking about the one that got away. The one that pushed me away. The one that hurt me. I’m still wearing his stupid charm bracelet.”

“You don’t have to wear that charm bracelet, Grace,” her psychiatrist said.

“I know this, but also… I lost my hope chest. Whenever I gave it to the police, there was even my other gifts from Simon in it. Ones that weren’t related to crimes, but I couldn’t take them out. They gave me the chest back empty and the rest of it was all evidence. This is the only gift that I still have from him, and it is sort of all encompassing too. This pumpkin, because of our visits to the pumpkin patch. This train, because that’s what took us to most of our adventures. This skateboard, the tube of lipstick, the little soldier… They ALL have a part in our childhood and our friendship. The charm bracelet tells the story of who we were before it went wrong.”

“When would you say it went wrong?”

This was a trick question, or one to make her think more carefully about her words. From 10-12 she was sneaking away to frolic with him, and while that may have been a little mischievous, it wasn’t anarchy or anything. But, whenever they were 12, she started unleashing all of the rage that she had to keep pinned up at home. Simon had rage of his own to release and seeing her so boldly accept hers helped him to do the same for his own. The next few years were borderline sociopathy… So, like… maybe it had always been wrong, but it didn’t always feel wrong. That came later.

“I’d say that it went wrong whenever it started to feel wrong for me and not for him. I think whenever I began to deny certain things in myself, he probably felt like I was rejecting them in him, and I was, a little bit. I felt like certain things should have stopped. But, that wasn’t what did it for him. For him, whenever I wanted to find my own avenues… it was betrayal.”

“Have you felt that it was betrayal?”

“No. I wouldn’t have left him or hurt him.”

“I want to focus on you more, instead of him. What do you think of when you think of betrayal?”

“Turning against someone, doing things to them that are inexcusable.”

“So, to be disloyal to someone.”

“Yes. That’s a good way to put it.”

“What would you say that you were loyal to, prior to where it went wrong?”

Grace thought for a moment. “I was loyal to Simon. When it went wrong, I was still loyal to Simon. Nothing that I did was disloyal.” She scoffed and shook her head, “Nothing that I did was disloyal, and I’ve been trying for over a year to figure out what I did, instead of being loyal enough to myself to realize that I didn’t do anything to deserve any of that. Is that what you were trying to get me to see?”

“I’ve been helping you to come to healthy conclusions, whatever you feel and know is best for you. I haven’t been trying to get you to see this so much as get you to know what you make of the information. You’ve passed over this many times. Sometimes semantics is helpful. The word “betrayal” is commonly used in gritty young adult series and memes on the Internet. “Disloyal” isn’t so much. It’s less convoluted. You were struggling to realize that you didn’t betray anyone, because you’ve heard the word a lot and it’s taken on many forms. The word disloyal has the same meaning, but for you, it felt like a different, more serious accusation.”

“Because I know I was loyal, for a fact… So I know that I wasn’t disloyal. Ma’am… You couldn’t grab your thesaurus a year ago?” Grace joked. She appreciated a new POV, for once. It felt like she had maybe made some sort of breakthrough.

.

When she got back to her quarters, Hazel and her caregiver were there and there were cheap decorations and Hazel had a sign with “Happy Birthay Grace!” written on it and a drawing of the two of them in strawberry dresses. Though, Grace had a strawberry romper in real life.

“Oh, Hazel! You are so sweet!” She cheered and picked her friend up to hug her and pelt her with kisses as she laughed. 

They played a few games, had a couple of cupcakes from the cafeteria, made dancing videos, and then talked while the caregivers ‘monitored.’ Both were on their phones and not really paying attention to the conversation too deeply. 

Eventually, Hazel said, “Whenever I was out there, I used to tell people that Tuba was my mom.”

Grace furrowed her eyebrows, “You used to say that your mom was a tuba?”

Hazel laughed, “No, Silly! Not A tuba! THE Tuba! The Mighty Tuba and her Musical Bunch!”

Grace gasped, “OOOOOOOH!!! The big gorilla with the,” she gestured towards her shoulders, “With the tubas. Why her?”

“Because I didn’t really get TV. I thought she was there with me. Every time she sang Don’t Be a Worry Baby, I just felt like she was singin’ to me. I also didn’t know that she wasn’t real! So whenever I told kids that she was my mom, they’d say stuff like, “Your mom wears the gorilla suit?” I’d just lie and say yes. Even if I switched homes and somebody said that I can call them mom… I knew that they probably wouldn’t be there for me later on, and Tuba always would. She was only a TV away.”

Grace smiled, sadly. “That’s kinda cool… You got to pick yourself a mom that you approved of!”

“You’re doing it again, Grace.”

“No, I mean it. I wish I could've picked my mom. Heck, maybe Tuba can be my mom too. That show is BIG, so I know she’s got bank.” 

Hazel laughed and Grace brushed her hair from her face to look at her. Hazel leaned into her touch and confessed, “Whenever I leave, I’m gonna tell people that you’re my mom.” Grace froze and forced a smile, despite feeling very uncomfortable at the moment. “Our little introduction… remember?”

“Right! Right…” Grace laughed and took her hand back. “I was just thinking, if you get out there and say my name… if people remember me, they might not have nice things to say. I don’t want you to have to look at me that way.”

“Grace… We’re both in here. I know how people outside are. They judge us very meanly. I won’t pay attention to them.” Grace gave her a big hug. Their gathering was over a short while later. She was happy about the gifts that Hazel made her and since she did have her old hope chest, she stuck them in there, with the leaf in the baggy, from the day that they became friends. “You can’t replace Simon with Hazel. You’ve gotta have a healthy sense of self and a healthy sense of friendship.” She said. She shut the chest, “This is healthy. I mean, we’re 12 years apart in age, but I think that as far as 18 year olds with child friends goes, we’re doing great. No, 18 year olds aren’t usually friends with 6 year olds, BUT, they also aren’t usually in an institution for a year.”

Whenever I leave, I’m gonna tell people that you’re my mom. “You really should have nipped that in the bud. You’re not her mom, and never could be. It was wrong of you not to remind her of that and to advise her to look at you as just another patient here that happens to care about her. You’d make a terrible mom, and you’re returning to the cycle of being a terrible friend. NO! I was a good friend! I was loyal.” She took a deep breath and sat down to meditate. 

.

She awoke with a start and put her hand over her chest. For some reason, she’d thought that she heard some loud crash or something. But, now the room seemed totally silent and it was too dark to see if anything was out of place. She took a deep breath and laid back down. “Grace!” A loud whisper called. She screamed, but a small hand cupped her mouth. “It’s me.” Hazel.     

“Hazel?” Grace said, removing the girl’s hand from her mouth. “How did you get in here?”

“The vents,” Hazel said. “We’ve gotta go!”

“Yeah, back to your room, before you get in serious trouble, young lady.”

“They’re sending me away,” Hazel said. Grace’s heart stopped. Hazel continued, “After the party, they started packing up my things and making inventory. They’re sending me to a foster home!”

Grace wanted to cry, but she knew this was good news for the child, even if she didn’t seem to. “Hazel, that’s great! You get to get out of here.”

“I don’t want to get out of here! Here is where you are,” Hazel sobbed. 

Grace sputtered air and collected Hazel to herself. “Hey… I know that this is rough. It’s scary out there. But your workers care about what’s best for you. If you’re getting out, that means that you’ve gotten better. They don’t wanna keep you here if they don’t have to.”

“It doesn’t mean that I’ve gotten better. It just mean that I’ve had some good days! Whenever I start having bad days, then what? They’ll put me back in a place like this, and what if it isn’t here? What if it’s not with you? I have bad days because I get scared and the turtle is the only thing that keeps me safe. I haven’t had bad days because I’m with you and I know that you keep me safe!” Grace rubbed her arm and Hazel climbed on her and held her tightly, sobbing. “We’re supposed to protect each other, and they’re sending me away.”

“It’s okay. Just hold on to me. It’s okay.” She let Hazel sleep there, but as soon as the sun peeked through the blinds in the morning, she scooped her up to take her to the staff. 

Hazel hoped that maybe this little scheme would land her a longer stay, but all they did was revise the way that they rooms were, to try to ensure that she couldn’t get to the vent to crawl through it. She was filthy and needed to be made presentable before it was time for her social worker to collect her.

“Did she have something with her?” the staff asked.

“No. Not that I saw. I could check the room, I guess. It was pretty dark whenever she showed up. What am I looking for?” Grace asked. 

“We’ll send someone to search her room and then stop by yours.” 

They didn’t want to tell her. She went back to the room searching, not knowing what for. Her caretaker was waiting outside and would check in with her every few minutes. She was in her room that day anyway. After searching everywhere, she sat on top of her chest and surveyed the room. Maybe she left whatever it was in the vent? She moved to try to push the chest and see if it could help her to reach, but she noticed that the flaps weren’t secured. She opened it and there it was… a file. Hazel Doe. 

Grace’s hands shook as she picked it up. She didn’t know if Hazel put it there because she wanted to take it with them wherever she wanted to run away together to, or if she just needed Grace to see her. Whatever the case, Grace picked it up and began to read it.   

The medical reports from being left in the bushes at almost 2 (and unable to walk by that time???) She was malnutritioned, had multiple illnesses picked up from the elements, was covered in insect bites, some very infected, had drugs in her system, organ issues… GOD! This kid had it tough. They had her in a children’s hospice… They didn’t even expect her to survive. But, she did. “Of course she did. She’s a trooper.” 

However, she suffered from some behavioral problems from age 3 on, thought to possibly be related to exposure/ingestion of drugs from a parent via neglect or breastfeeding, though she began recovering at the time... Bounced around to multiple homes between ages 3-5 (the turtle “transformation” began at age 4, too early to consider a dissociative disorder), and from children’s mental health centers to foster care from 5-6… 

Hazel… was probably correct in thinking that she might be sent elsewhere again. This poor kid had been bounced around like a pinball. That’s not even covering some of the incidents surrounding her turtle persona, like crawling out into the street and nearly being hit by a car at one of her homes, prompting them to send her to get help… eating poisonous leaves and having to be rushed to the ER… She had emotional AND physical trauma. More than Grace could imagine, and all Grace wanted to do was to help her. She hoped that the help would be in finding a proper family. All she knew for sure was that the mature thing to do was not get in this girl’s way of help just because she was lonely. She had been down that road before.

Her caretaker peeked in and Grace said, “Oh! I think I found what they were looking for. Hazel’s file.” 

She came to retrieve it, “That girl’s definitely crawled those vents before. Got into the office. Hers was on the desk, because they were going to put it in the outpatient ones as soon as she leaves...Did you read this, Grace?”

“Who do you think I am?” Grace asked, avoiding answering honestly. The tears in her eyes said it all. “Do you think they’ll let me say goodbye to her, when she leaves?”

“Sure. I’ll set that up while I go bring this back to them.”

“Can you also get her a gift from me?”

“I can take you to pick something out. Get ready, and we’ll go when I get back.”

Grace didn’t go out much, but sometimes, her caretaker took her on trips to the store, a food place, or just to the mall to grab something really quickly. As long as they had the proper permissions, it was fine. She could take her out more, but Grace wanted to be inside the amount of time that she was. 

She couldn’t seem to decide on a gift though. None of this stuff could say, “Sorry that life has treated you so poorly that I seemed like a good mother figure. Hopefully, it’ll stop doing that shit to you.” She heard Don’t Be a Worry Baby playing and followed the sound. There was a huge Tuba display with toys, games, and other fanfare. She found one of those oversized birthday cards and looked in it. It was too birthday-ish, so she put it down. Hazel didn’t need any of the keychains or... lighters? Why would there be Tuba lighters? Grace picked up a stuffed Tuba, with speakers on the inside of her tubas. When she pressed the try me button, it began to play the song from the tubas. Grace put it in her cart and went to look at the other cards that weren’t for birthdays. She found one with a turtle on it that read, “You’ve come out of your shell!” And on the inside, the turtle is still in its shell but it reads, “Just kidding, but you’re turtley cool, no matter what!” She cried as she put it in the cart too. Her caretaker placed an arm around her and led her to the checkouts.

Hazel looked like a different kid whenever Grace arrived to see her off. She wasn’t smiling. She just seemed defeated. “Hey… I came to give you something to remember me by…” Hazel’s eyes looked up at Grace, but she wasn’t prepared to change her face yet. Grace presented her with the card and the Tuba stuffie, which she liked a lot and hugged her for them. She still seemed… sad. “Also…” Grace took off her charm bracelet and placed it on Hazel’s arm It was too big. 

“Grace, this is the only good thing that you have left of your friend.”

Grace shook her head, “We laid that to rest in the bush, remember?” Hazel started crying and Grace knelt to her level. “Hazel. You are going to do so well. You’re smart, brave, special, a survivor. You are so much better than so many of us already, and in the right space, you’ll become even greater.” Grace was crying too, but she meant it all. 

Hazel jingled the charms on the bracelet and said, “I have this. You keep her.” She gave Tuba to Grace. I know that you’ll take care of her.” 

That defeated the purpose of Grace buying it, but she said, “I’ll guard her with my life.” 

As Hazel got into the car with the social worker, the woman said, “I’ll speak with the family about allowing you to keep in touch. They might be open to it…” Grace nodded. 

Hazel rolled the window down and said, “Good luck Grace,” before the car pulled away and Grace finally let herself cry as hard and loud as she wanted to. She also determined that she needed to get out of here as soon as possible… She was ready, right? Or very close to it…

.

The semester was nearly over, which meant very little to him, with the exception of midterms, because his work schedule was a constant, anyway. He had numerous projects, several business ventures. The man rarely slept and always woke up in a rush to move along with whatever was happening for him. 

Currently, he was looking at the plans for a weapon that he had been trying to design for an electrical engineering project. Professor Hughes had commented that his choice of a weapon, of all things, for the project was, “bold and unexpected.” He knew that to mean that she did not support his decision and would be extra hard on him for making said decision. Therefore, the product had to be perfect.

Simon had become interested in weapons designs. He didn’t necessarily switch interests so much as he liked to explore various mediums within the fields of study that he was involved. For some reason, he liked the thought of pioneering a new and amazing weapon. He started some theoretical designs a few years ago as equipment used in his fantasy novel, but now he was officially working on one.

His other projects included robotic action figures, software for a virtual reality social network, and his most ambitious stunt - carrying on Professor Hughes’ noble work of nanotechnological eugenics… She left behind the attempts within the past couple of years, but Simon found it fascinating a thought - to be able to use science in such a way that perhaps mankind could be better physical specimens. The woman had lost her fiance in an accident and became obsessed with artificial evolution and the concept of building stronger bodies - more durable humans, without robbing them of their humanity. She made several various attempts in several fields of engineering until eventually realizing that even if she did find an ethical way to proceed with any of her work, it would never bring her lover back.

Simon was of the mindset that maybe it could, given the right possibilities. If it could do that, it could also potentially grant humans immortality. But, he never actually said that much out loud. He simply just became fluent in her research and devoted to progressing it. Many scientists had gone off into trying to establish wider boundaries of the human body and human experience. Professor Hughes wasn’t the first or even the brightest or best... But, she had research and work on the matter that was more advanced than anything he’d ever been privy to, and he was confident that he was better and brighter than her.

He had other things for other classes, too, but those listed were the main ones that he knew would take a while and also could change the world if he was successful.If he started right out of the gate on his biggest ideas, he’d have more time to work through them during his educational journey.

He still kept various tabs open, but now that was done on three different laptops that he carried with him. NO distractions while working, so he generally had his phone both muted and put away. After several hours in whichever lab he was working out of on any given night, he would pack everything up, grab his skateboard and head home while listening to a podcast or something. 

Checking his messages on the way home, he saw one that was from somebody with a pic of red lips as their profile (he assumed they were likely fringe Apex) and the caption, “Is this YOUR Grace?” 

He looked at a report of a woman with a bountiful afro, sunglasses and bags getting into a car. He read the caption, “Will Teen Queen Grace Monroe be Home for Christmas?” He stopped to read about how the reports claimed to have not only seen her getting into this vehicle outside of a mental health facility, but to have seen her on the campus of the Monroe estate, and a few times around Monroe Square’s gated community. Reports were unsure if the prosperous princess is home to stay or simply allotted a visit for the holidays. 

Simon felt something nagging at him whenever he saw her face in the photo. Whenever she was inside, and all of random moments he might come around an image of her was either old or from the institution, she still felt like a concept that no longer touched his life. Like old photos of his sister. He could look at them and remember, but he could also put them aside and forget her. If she was out now, who knew what she would try? She can’t harm you. She can’t affect your work. You solved that issue…

Or, you created a bigger problem. Had you just let her go, you could call her and see how she was doing. Had you just let her go, you’d have been ok by now, instead of wondering if she’s going to try to strike back. You know her better than anybody. She’s the vengeful type, just like you. Strike first! 

“No!” He grumbled and a passerby stared at him momentarily before awkwardly moving away. “She’s not going to come anywhere near me. I showed her what I’m capable of. She’s done. Over with. She’s not going to do anything but try to get on with her life… without me.” He felt a pang in his heart. If she was out, that meant that whatever damage he caused had most likely been repaired. Maybe she was better than ever now, stronger than ever. Without him. He played one of his music playlists made specifically for The Void, and got onto his skateboard. Sleeping pills tonight, it is. 

Next

[kevkesblog]

Translation: Julian Brandt Interview with Sky Sport News Germany (May 12, 2020)

The video is avaliable here

Julian, Saturday Bundesliga starts again. And you will start against Schalke – the derby. How much do you look forward to?

Ju:    I’m really excited I have to say. I’m happy that everything starts again. 

I think it has been a long time, where we only had very limited training sessions. And in the end: every football player needs a goal. It’s not really fulfilling to only do training sessions. It’s a nice feeling that Bundesliga starts again. You can look forward to something again.

There has been a discussion: how fit are the players? How fit do you feel just a couple of days before the game?

Ju:    I feel good. Sure, you can’t really compare it with pre-season preparations. You do have to get used to certain things. We only were able to train in two-pair-groups. Then everything went quickly. You don’t have alot of time as a team. You have to simulate much more – or at least try 11 versus 11. And well… I was never a great fan of long pre-season preparations, so it was okay for me.

What was the experience like, when you changed from small groups to team training? Did you have to be a little more reserved or is that impossible?

Ju:    It really depends individually. There are some guys you are a little more reserved when it comes to one-on-one situations. Everbody reacts differently. It was okay for me. I never really had a problem. It was nice actually to have situations where it was a bit more rough. Sure everybody was keeping the distance over the past weeks. Everybody tried their best to avoid contact. In the end, football is a contact-sport and I think everbody was happy playing normal football again.

Now many players used the break to look for new talents among themselves. So was Julian Brandt killing his time with, while no training was possible?

Ju:    Well… sure there have been one or two days, where I thought my blanked fell on my head. I guess that’s normal. Sure you try to use your time… well I played alot of playstation. Like others probably as well. Because we had some really nice days and like I already said in the BVB podcast – I brought myself a new grill, shortly before everything was shut down. That was really, really important… I’m still very happy about it. I didn’t have one before. It also took away alot of my boredom. And then you this and that… but I havent’t learned a new language or instrument, yet (smiles). That was not the case with me.

So what does Julian Brandt you put on his grill?

Ju:    Certainly no eggplants! (smiles) We actually made some burgers most of the time. That was cool. I think I was at the grill every day, but I tried… to clear my head in terms of cooking (laughs)… It was actually funny: because one day the club had to weigh us, and surprisingly I didn’t lose weight nor did I gained weight. I was really surprised.

A small tip from my side: I always have an extra burner at home. Because nothing is more annoying putting the meat on the grill and then…

Ju:    Yeah… then the gas is empty (smiles)…

You mentioned playing playstation. How often did you play with your buddy Kai Havertz? And who of you has the upper hand?

Ju:    Actually we can’t really determine that. Kai and myself play together often. We aren’t really FIFA players. I for myself don’t play FIFA at all, Kai just a bit. We both play Fortnite, Call of Duty – these shooter games. We play in a team almost everytime, so we win together and lose together (smiles)… and most of the time we lose together, because even our playstation abilities reach a ceiling… our talents are somewhere else…

Well, with the 13, 14, 15 year olds who play it all night long…

Ju:    They are insane! It doesn’t even get better when I add my little brother, who is an avid player. We are just not good enough. (smiles) Thats something we have to admit to ourselves. 

Now Borussia Dortmund signed Philipp Laux as a new mental coach for the team. Did you talked to him and how does such a conversation go?

Ju:    It’s funny, because we actually sat together for an hour, yesterday. Not because for psychological reasons, but just to get to know each other. We just talked about everything. How the situation is. How those games without fans will be like. I already witnessed that in Paris. It was just a normal talk, no special topics. It was just to know the other person. He also talked about how he sees certain situations. How he thinks he want’s approach the team. He won’t stand in front of the team and hold great speeches. He just observes everything, which is normal if you are new.

But great guy? First impressions?

Ju:    Yeah, definitely. You can have a good chat with him. Even a normal conversation. I mean sure: he’s a sport psychologist many people think ‚Woah, he probably will „read me“ when I talk to him‘… but no, he’s a very relaxed guy. You can have a good chat with him.

You mentioned Paris. Dortmund was kicked out of the Champions League that night. But you do have some experience when it comes to games without fans. Schalke not in the same way – possibily. Could this be an advantage for Saturday?

Ju:    Yeah, sure. It’s is….  not something entirely new for you, when you have already had this experience before. The guys know how it will feel like…. it’s gonna be very, very silent. There were even fans and fireworks from fans in front of the stadium in Paris. PSG even had speakers on, so you were able to hear everything – but it went silent once the game started. Yet, we won’t have such an atmosphere. So yeah, it’s something new… you can perhaps get some advantages from it, but in the end: I think… even when you look at the Bundesliga standings… everything will start from zero on Saturday. There won’t be any home or away-games in the classical sense anymore. There isn’t a advantage or disadvantage anymore. So yeah, its in some way basically going back to the basics. Like the way when we started football as kids. I think there will be 200 or 300 people – I’m not sure…. but it’s a bit „back to the roots“.

Could this perhaps be a game-changer in terms of winning the Bundesliga? Bayern Munich has a 4-point advantage. But they still have to play in Dortmund, in Leverkusen and they play against Gladbach. They really have a heavy task in front of them. Could this be the small advantage into your favour?

Ju:    Woah… I don’t know. To be honest: I can’t say how the next weeks will be. I think many things are possible. In many aspects. In the end I think it will depend on which team deals with the current situation the best. A lot happens in your head as well. I mean, you can’t really let your feels rule you now. Fans cheering you on, for example. You know: there is a certain excitement the days before, when Dortmund players against Bayern….

But is there actually a slight chance to creat some sort of „derby atmosphere“? I mean, sure the fans will be missed. But isn’t there a derby fever that rises before the game on Saturday?

Ju:    Yeah, you do feel that Saturdays game will be special. Of course because of both reasons. Because it’s the derby, but also because it will be a game which has never happend under such circumstances. Like I said, because we already played in Paris, we know the situation, yet it’s also something new. The Paris game was eight weeks ago. But the „real derby feeling“ are the fans of course. They are living it and experience it. Suddently your neighbors talk about this game, they don’t even mention the other teams name – you get a certain feeling. Okay, we are in a hotel now. We don’t really feel alot and it’s not the same of course. It would have been nice to have a full stadium. But you still try to win the game, sure! 

[warwaged-archive]

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name :   melissa

nickname :    mel is actually the nickname akdnfkjsdnfkjn

age :    24

faceclaim :    it mai from atla

pronouns :    she/her

height :    165cm

birthday :    november 12

aesthetics :    black cats, warm fluffy blankets, gray days, piles of books, too big hoodies, videogames, changing hair color as often as possible, singing in the car while driving, bitten nails, the smell of rain, comfortable silence, staying up all night talking with friends, clothes that are either black or cute and colorful, the smell of coffee in the morning, walking through the woods, old teddy bears and even older scribbled pages, superhero movie shirts, scattered pieces of unfinished cosplays, the feeling of walking on grass barefoot

favorite muse you’ve written :   many of them are so special to me in different ways, and I feel like you’d get a different answer for this depending on the day and who I’m feeling more strongly... I don’t write her anymore but myrcella was the first character to stuck with me for years. I wrote other muses sometimes before her but none that stuck like she did, and although I have had others after she’s just deeply special and dearly loved by me, and always will be. I feel very strongly about tyrande whisperwind as well, and out of the thousands of characters from wow I picked up along the way she will always be my favorite and most beloved. I didn’t grow up with warcraft, I’m relatively new to it in fact, but I really love the world and the characters, though tyrande was my first love and what drew me to it in the first place. morrigan is my favorite dragon age character and dragon age is my favorite video game franchise ever, so she is very important to me and a character I connect in some ways that are either because we’re similar or because we’re really different on some aspects and I don’t know, I guess I wish I had some of how she is sometimes. with each of them I also interacted with amazing people, some I still write with and talk to, and that makes them all the more special to me. I could list reasons why each of my muses is dear to me, but since this is about picking favorites, let me stick to just these three.

what inspired you to take on your current muse(s) :   who knows??? I certainly can’t see the pattern. there are a few I had this moment of ‘ah yes that’s exactly my type’ but they are actually few, and for the most part they just stick with me until I decide to add them, regardless of how long that takes. it’s just the immediately being drawn to that character for some reason, and never letting go, even if I don’t immediately begin writing them or if I try to ignore it or if I stop for a time and come back to them later. I have very very different muses, though usually it’s women, and they are strong, though not necessarily physically. my strong-kind-soft  girls are as important to me as the fighty or stabby or just goddess level of powerful. male muses are usually harder, which is why I only have four and they’re all from warcraft. I think when it comes to them the common factor is tragic backstory and not being an entirely good person ig sdnfkasndfksadnf

what are your favorite aspects of your current muse(s) :    there are so many of them and so much I love about each! but to choose something more general, my favorite aspect is usually what they are beneath how they present themselves and others see them. it’s the vulnerability in characters that don’t present themselves that way, or the steely strength in the ones who are sunshine type of people. it’s heroes that are flawed and feel fear and aren’t heroic because they’re trying to, and villains that are cruel and petty and violent but have a stunning capacity for love and loyalty. this is the type of thing I usually love the most about them.

what’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing :    interacting with the canon content in general like, playing the games or watching things or rereading things. talking about it, interacting with people, seeing that there is interest in how I portray that specific muse. songs I might connect to them, talking about them and their relationships with others ooc, revisiting canon to pick apart every little thing they do and try to understand them better. I don’t know, all of it helps.

favorite types of threads :    developing characters and relationships is always my favorite part -- not necessarily romantic relationships, just relationships in general. I also like filling blanks in canon or exploring canon things more deeply, specially with characters or scenes that weren’t really allowed that. I like AUs, though generally if they’re less entirely new universe and more what if x thing changed in canon or just something related to canon in some way. I usually like to write anything that lets me explore a character’s feelings towards something or develop them in some way skdnfksjndf but I really really like when the muses get some struggle and hardship and suffering. fluffy things are nice too though, variety is always the best option imo.

biggest struggle in regards to your current muse(s) :    with the wow muses, I think it’s keeping the muse alive given the lack of content and my general displeasure with some story choices aisudhfisuhf as well as the rpc being generally less active. all of that ends up impacting my muses and I in turn write them less. meanwhile with others, specially newer ones such as shadowheart or the league of legends ones, I feel very anxious about approaching people in these fandoms I’m not as familiar with as I was with my previous ones. the league ones in particular make me so anxious I struggle to try to reach out to people and write them because I constantly feel my portrayal of them isn’t good. so it’s mostly my own anxiety aushdfuashidfh being new to a rpc or not being as knowledgeable about the lore make me put a lot of pressure in myself, and I often don’t pick up muses because of that, or drop them fairly fast, but when I do choose to write them it’s a problem I always have to deal with. I also struggle a bit with anxiety due to english not being my first language. but actually muse specific as in, an aspect of a muse I struggle with... I can’t think of anything like that. maybe when it comes to balance making interaction possible and the muses that are like, more evil or violent, while staying true to them.

tagged: @sicsemper​ thank you! ♥ tagging: I don’t know who to tag! steal and say I tagged you so I can see the answers asidhfisudfh 👀

[epochxp]

Epoch Xperience Interviews Nordic Weasel Founder, Ivan Sorensen

Mr. Sorensen needs no real introduction to many miniature wargamers. His company, Nordic Weasel Games, has taken the historical miniatures gaming world by storm, and he’s become the force on Wargames Vault. His formula of “substance over flash” has produced good games for a very reasonable price, and he has taken full advantage of PDF technology to produce a quality product one can buy and have in your (virtual hands) the next day. 

Without further ado, I give you Ivan Sorensen:

Biography

My name is Ivan Sorensen, and I am a game designer and self-publishing writer of miniatures games, as well as the odd role-playing game. Under the moniker of Nordic Weasel Games, I have worked as a game writer for close to 7 years. 

I am an avid player of board games, miniatures games, role-playing games, video games, and anything else I can get my hands on. I have spent half my life on this planet in Denmark, where I was born, and half in the United States, where I currently reside. I am married, have one kid and two cats named Scruffy and Lancelot. 

Unlike a lot of historical games writers, many of my formative miniatures gaming experiences actually came from science fiction games, so I suppose that has given me a little bit of a different perspective.

So, how did you get started in writing rules? Was there an “aha” moment, or did you fall into it?

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I have basically always created little dice and board games for myself, using Lego pieces or other things that we had available, usually based on video games I had read about in magazines or other ideas like that.

When I was 12 or so, I remember getting a copy of White Dwarf magazine from a local gaming club I had joined, and it blew my mind. We had some limited exposure to the idea of space marines and all these things from the Milton Bradley Hero Quest and Space Crusade board games, but the idea of battle games played without a board, using miniatures and dice was too much to resist. I knew I had to get into this, and as I had no money for it, I sat down to write a game I could play with my Space Crusade figures, which would look as much like what I imagined Warhammer 40.000 would be like.

Since then, I had pretty much always been the “rules guy” in the gaming groups I was part of, whether we were playing miniatures games or RPG’s, so it just came naturally over time, I suppose. As I got access to the internet and later got access to ordering things from the UK or US, I devoured every game I could get my hands on and was even remotely interested in. 

The start to writing games that were any good was my own attempt at creating a World War 1 game system (titled Trench Storm). I had shared it online, and to my great surprise, it began catching people’s attention and got a (very) small following, with people even purchasing miniatures to play it. Eventually, I was contacted by the US distributor for IT Miniatures, who offered to print it to promote their 20mm figure range. The rest is, as they say, history. Once in a great while, a copy of that game still pops up on eBay, it seems! 

How did Nordic Weasel Games come to be? 

So that story took place right around the time I moved to the United States. After moving, I had a lengthy period where I did not have my work permit yet, so game writing seemed like an obvious distraction, resulting in Fast and Dirty, a sci-fi rules set that you still see mentioned online here and there.

As the years went on, I kept tinkering and building things but mostly for my own enjoyment. Sometime during the fall of 2013, I started seriously working on a new game system for WW2 skirmish actions that I felt had some real potential to go places. At the time, I worked at a relatively dead-end middle management job at an incredibly toxic information technology company. You know the sort of job, where you have been there for too long, and you hate every minute of it. 

Come the spring, I decided to take a gamble that I could make enough money from game sales to make it worth pursuing and quit. I figured if I could find a way to do it without putting money on the line, then if it all bombed, I could just walk away and find something else to do in life.

Consequently, Five Men in Normandy was released on June 15, 2014, and as of today, we are still here! 

What is in the future for Nordic Weasel?

Hopefully, many big things! The biggest priority for 2021 specifically is to get into print books, though there are a lot of stumbling blocks in terms of layout requirements and so on.

I always keep a list of projects I would like to do, though I try not to talk about them too much in case they fall through. I am the sort of guy who always starts with 20 ideas, so by the time the unworkable ones have been weeded out, there are 2 or 3 left. 

What I can say is that I am actively looking at fantasy miniatures battles, and I would love to do more WW1 and Black Powder era gaming material. 

The real big question is that I am also very much at a point where there are just too many things to do it all alone. I cannot write 4 or 5 new games, support an entire back catalogue, and update old titles all by my lonesome, so I look forward to trying to solve that in the future. I suppose this is a good problem to have, but it is certainly also an intimidating one!

Is there a period of history you want to write rules for but have not?

We have worked extensively with the two world wars and the black powder era in general, as well as 20th century-to-modern era battles, and with Knyghte, Pyke and Sworde we even delved into medieval warfare.

The one that stands out as something that would be fun to do is World War 1 air combat, complete with goggles and scarf flapping in the wind. A little romanticized sure, but great fun, and there is a lot of fantastic models available.

For a historical era I have not touched on at all, I would say that while I have done games that cover it among other 19th century conflicts, a dedicated American Civil War set is something I would be very keen to do.

There are a lot of fantastic rules out there for the period, of course, but I feel like the “Weasel�� approach of being solo-friendly and campaign-oriented could carve out a nice space of that market. Plus, I find the era quite fascinating. Growing up in Denmark, I was never really raised with a particular view of the conflict, but having married into a proud Vermont family, it is, of course, unavoidable. 

Can you tell our readers what goes into rules writing?

I think this is something that is intensely personal, and the rationale for writing something can be varied: It may be due to sensing an opening in the hobby space that does not seem to be catered to currently. It may be that I have a personal passion for a given setting or era, or it may simply be that I have a clever game mechanic and want to build a game around it.

The process for me usually starts with sketching out a page or two of keywords, mechanics, and things I’d like to hit on a notepad. Then I work on building it out with simple sketches for the main areas of the mechanics: Activations, movement, shooting, morale, and so forth. Basically, carving out the cornerstones of the game system. At this stage, it is entirely possible it feels like it’s not going anywhere, and it goes in the bin. 

If the core idea seems to have merit in this skeleton form, it’s time to test it out with some generic troops and see if it actually feels fun on the table. From there, you just build out from it: Get other people to read and play it, read it out loud to yourself, etc. Figure out what parts need ironing out and improving and which are good. 

It is really all an iterative process. Once I know the game has legs to stand on, I start writing out the table of contents in advance, so I can “fill in the blanks” as I go. If I know I am going to have a section later for off-map support, I can keep that in mind when I am developing each piece of the mechanics and so forth.

Eventually, any project hits “The Suck (TM).” This is whatever part you hate doing the most, whether it is layout or proofreading or points systems or whatever. For me, it is terrain rules, funny enough. I never read that section of a rulebook, and I never enjoy writing it, but you must. “The Suck” is where your game will probably die because if you let it overcome you, you will put the book down, and every time you click on the word processor, you will immediately be faced with it. The best way to defeat “The Suck” in my experience is caffeine and not letting up: When it starts rearing its ugly head, it is time to keep going and don’t stop until you are through with it. 

Has desktop publishing and PDF only supplements changed the face of the hobby? Has it affected the quality of the product we see today?

Absolutely yeah. It’s not that long ago that a game being available in PDF was a novelty, whereas today, if a game is NOT available in PDF, you are going to lose sales. 

I think the barrier of entry has also dropped dramatically. Even a basic word processing package can churn out a PDF document that you can distribute online or sell. Of course, with proper page layout software, you can achieve much greater results (as some of my friends are rarely missing a chance to tell me), but you need to examine what your skill limit is. Any tool has a skill cap, to borrow a video game term. If you are not currently good enough at what you do to push up against the limitations of your software, burning 200 dollars on new apps will not make your books any better.

It is funny, though, because the wargaming field is so diverse in the type of things we see. You can pick up relatively big-name games that are incredibly plain-looking: Black and white, no art, rudimentary layout. Then right next to it, you see a PDF that is full-color, original artwork, and gorgeous. And the two can be viewed as equal value to the audience. 

Of course, eye candy DOES sell, but I think once you are beyond the Warhammer circles, gamers become a lot more content-focused. 

What are your favorite historical periods and why?

The 19th Century, the two world wars and the Russian Civil War. 

Really, the whole era from circa 1910 to 1925 or so is fascinating to me: It is, of course, the transition of the old, romanticized world to the world of modern warfare, as well as being incredibly diverse in the sort of things you can see. The Russian Civil War sees tanks and armored cars, partisan bands, nationalist militias, Red and White guards, Cossack cavalry armies, Anarchists, and anything else you can shake a stick at. It is really a wargamers heaven for finding odd units to model up on the gaming table.

Honestly, my love of history, in general, comes from one source: “All Quiet on the Western Front.” I think anyone with a passion for history has that moment where they realize that history is not about abstract concepts and kings and dates but is about real people who lived and breathed and had dreams and hopes. “All Quiet” was that for me, and it left a life-long impression on me when I read it as a teenager a few years from the age of the characters in the book.  

What do you see for the future of historical miniature wargaming?

Oof, that is a dangerous question. I think I managed to predict the rise of “Warband” level games (games where you play a small force in skirmish actions and with some level of character progression between games). Right now, that idea has set the fantasy and sci-fi miniatures scenes on fire, with everyone churning out their own version of the concept. 

In historical gaming, there are elements of it, but it has not been embraced to the same extent, possibly due to the grognard bias against skirmish games. I think if I had to put money on something, I would say watch out for historical skirmish games with campaign aspects or character progression in the next year or three.

I also think solo gaming is going to continue to gain in popularity and respectability, with more games developed primarily or even specifically for solo play. I am super excited to see this field because there is a lot of things that can be done here with how enemies arrive on the table, fog of war, and so forth, which is not possible in a conventional opposed game.

Playtesting, how important is it?

Very, but it’s also very misunderstood. I see people post all the time on forums about how they have been testing their game rules for 5 years. That sounds very impressive, but if you are only getting together 3 or 4 times a year in that time frame, you are basically starting over each time. Additionally, just playing the game with your own group is fine to iron out the basic problems of a game, but it will lose its value very quickly. 

To get actual feedback, give the game to people who cannot ask you questions and let them figure it out. Now your text must stand on its own feet and must work without you being there to explain the intentions. That is the real test. I would say three games played by strangers is worth more than ten games with your usual Saturday group. 

Of course, tracking down people who can understand the rules, will play the game, [and] report back to you, AND aren’t crazy is a challenge. If you post online, 50 people will say they would love to, and of those, two will read the book. Once you find reliable people who can give you good feedback, cling to them for dear life. 

 What are the benefits and pitfalls of self-publishing your own wargaming rules?

The biggest advantage is, of course, that you are in charge. What you want in the book goes, if you want a supplement, it will happen, and so forth. Additionally, your game will reflect what you wanted it to be. I think in [self-publishing], you get a lot clearer creative visions and indie gamers tend to gravitate towards that: A game that has something to say on the topic is extremely attractive, even if you disagree with a particular conclusion.

I try to do as much myself as I can, though, of course, I do rely on outside sources for things like artwork, feedback, etc. Part of that is that this way, I know I can support the product down the road: If I want to fix a rule where we came up with a better way of doing it, or I want to add a new section, I can do that. 

The downside, of course, is that you are on your own: Your art is as good as your own wallet can make it, your book looks as good as you can make it (unless you pay for it), and so forth. You also must promote it yourself. If you are writing for something like Osprey, they have marketing power and money to put behind the project. 

Anything else you would like to say to our readers?

Before you write a game, ban yourself from reading any game on the same topic for a few months. If you are writing a WW2 tank game, put all your WW2 games in a box and do not open it. You should be spending that time immersing yourself in the topic in the form of books, music, documentaries, or anything else. Never ever another game.

Also, it cannot hurt to blast some metal albums, at least in my experience. 

--

At Epoch Xperience, we specialize in creating compelling narratives and provide research to give your game the kind of details that engage your players and create a resonant world they want to spend time in. If you are interested in learning more about our gaming research services, you can browse Epoch Xperience’s service on our parent site, SJR Research.

--

(This article is credited to Jason Weiser. Jason is a long-time wargamer with published works in the Journal of the Society of Twentieth Century Wargamers; Miniature Wargames Magazine; and Wargames, Strategy, and Soldier.)

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[caitlinclark]

Maitane López: «We are more tactical and therefore we play a very different football»

Our first 'C' in this tremendous trident is Maitane López Millán or also known as “the smile of the Liga Iberdrola” or “Mai”.

She says that it is something natural but unconsciously gives off that 'good vibes' energy that makes the interviewer (in my case) feel like being with a friend drinking something.

And before you start it is important that you understand that ...

For this and subsequent occasions, I have decided that my interviews can be taken as a souvenir home. For Maitane I drew half a soccer field on an A4 sheet and put 11 representative photographs of the player in question, symbolizing the number of components of a team. Her name also appeared in large print, a drawing of a book (later you will understand why), an orange and a star. Once the rules of the game have been explained, I give it to her and when she sees it, she smiles and immediately says, "Very original, really." And with an Aquarius in each hand, Mai begins uncovering the first photograph and ...

Photograph 1 (Maitane as a child) M: Oh! (She laughs). My beginnings, right? I started with 4 or 5 years, all my paternal family was related to football my father, José Ignacio López Rekarte, my uncles, Luis María and Aitor López Rekarte and my grandfather, Luis López. Until one day I came home and told my mother to sign me up. And of course, my mother didn't know anything about women's football in Mallorca because we had just moved from Murcia, and she decided on the Son Cotoner club, which was later renamed Sporting Ciutat de Palma. (Laughs) This anecdote is very funny because with 4-5 years I went to train, and my poor mother told me "don't be sad if they don't pick you", and on the first day, I went up two categories!

ESF: Did you play with boys? M: Yes, until there was a moment that another girl came who became my best friend. At age 12 I was beginning to notice inequalities between men and women because we are biologically different. But I never had problems with any teammates, they were more screams from the stands than anything else. In fact, I keep in touch with some of them.

Photograph 2 (Maitane with her uncle, Luis María López Rekarte) M: My uncle ... has always been my role model (snorts). I still remember this picture, I can see the smile on my face ... It was radiant. Imagine, thanks to him I could have access to my idols, that is, I was next to Kovacevic, Nihat, Xabi Alonso etc.

Really, I had devotion to him, when he came to play against Mallorca, I brought all my friends and they freaked out, for me he was my idol and he was the one who pushed me to continue.

ESF: Is your uncle going to see you at the matches? M: Yes, and my whole family when we play in Zubieta.

Photograph 3 (In his second football team: UD Collerense) M: Colle ... I was in Sporting Ciutat de Palma until the second division and then I went to Collerense for three years and I was a little scared of the reception because they are rivals to death, but nothing, everything was great (smiles). This club has been my trampoline, a super humble team with very few resources that gave me the opportunity to play in the first division and over at home. I think it is worth considering that the club has been 5 years in the first division (seasons 2011-2016). I take great friendships, in fact the day after tomorrow I will stay with them. But for me Sporting is special because I entered with 4 and left at 15-16 years of age there.

Photograph 4 (Studies) M: I am currently finishing the Primary Education career with a mention in Therapeutic Pedagogy, now I am doing an internship at a Special Education center in Cheste. I've searched for it near Bunyol to get everything on time. The truth is that I've been trying to get my degree for 7 years (she laughs). No, I have not suspended any exams, the thing is that because of football I could not do the practices. And now yes, I have TFG, practices and memory, and that's it.

ESF: And that's it? M: Yes!!! (Smile from ear to ear). I've been doing this for 7 years, but it seems normal, but it's good to combine studies and be a professional football player. Although I have always been clear that I wanted to do both for what could happen, I also believe that when I leave this sport, I would like to dedicate myself to what I have studied, since it has nothing to do with football.

Photograph 5 (First day in the east) M: Incredible... Levante UD has given me everything, Colle was the springboard, but in this club I have evolved both personally and professionally. In addition, I had never lived alone outside home but this team welcomes you and takes care of you so much that I adapted very quickly. And it’s that (laughs) I'm still hallucinating that they iron our clothes and leave us folded in the locker room, really, I’m grateful for everything and I feel immensely happy in Levante UD.

Photograph 6 (Selection) M: I did freak out there, in fact I was with my partner on a off weekend in Salamanca and I was in a bad mood, Jorge called me and asked me how I was and I told him that great, and he told me that I was going with the National Team to Prague. It was a dream for me, to train with them, some of them were already friends ... Now they are in the United States and I wish them the best of luck. 

Photograph 7 (Maitane smile) ESF: A lot of people say you're always smiling ... M: (laughs) Yeah, it's true ... (laughs again) Obviously I don't realize it and although it sounds like a cliche I think you have a better life smiling than crying. Also in the team along with Rocío we are the ones who pull pranks... and Lucia and ... Eva (laughs). And nothing, you just have to enjoy everything you do.

Photograph 8 (Eva Navarro, Ona Batlle and Maitane) M: My gorritis !!! They are Eva Navarro and Ona Batlle, they are not my friends, they are like my daughters (laughs). Although Ona is not so much now because she has already grown but Eva is... And I love having them on my team and having met them, it is one of the most beautiful things that football gives you and I am very grateful for it. I love them a lot.

Photograph 9 (Maitane playing the guitar) M: It's one of the things that disinhibits me from football ... I am very much the kind of person who goes with a book to read sitting alone in the street (stares at me and smiles) don’t think it’s weird if you see me one day out there or on the beach giving a walk… In addition, whenever I am a little sad, I feel immense desire to play the guitar and I think… (raises her index finger) “What's wrong with you? You have been playing for half an hour, two hours… ” (Laughs) It is true that my 'gorritis' suffer a lot, although many times it is them who ask me for songs, and we start singing and dancing all three. We have a lot of videos being dumb together (laughs).

ESF: Favorite singer? M: Ainoa Buitrago! (she doesn't doubt a minute)

Photograph 10 (Stadium) M: From the final of the U19 European we lost, I think that defeat has helped me a lot to mature as a footballer. A few years later, you value being a starter in a final. In addition, we faced the Netherlands with some very good players, moreover, the one that scored a goal was the now Arsenal striker and an undisputed starter of the Dutch national team, Vivienne Mediema. And I think about it and I still hallucinate having played that final.

Photograph 11 (The British Ladies Football Club team) ESF: Do they sound like you? M: (Stares) Mmmm… no.

ESF: Do not worry, it is a very old photograph and almost nothing differs. They are the British Ladies Football Club, the components of the first women's soccer team on March 23, 1895 in England. What do you think? M: In the end I think they were the first to open the doors. It is true that now we are being given more visibility and I think we are collecting the reward of all the work not only ours, but since that March 23, 1895. And in the end, we are so grateful to them that they were the first as to all those who have fought for equality both inside and outside the football field. For example, to me past generations like Sandra Vilanova, Melisa Nicolau etc. All of them have opened the door for us here in Spain in many things.

ESF: What do you think of the collective agreement? M: Every step is important. Everything is improving, now there is a sub-20, sub-15 and before it did not exist, I think it is progressing a lot and faster and faster, although there is still much to improve.

ESF: And about future generations? M: I think we have to keep working so that in the future, girls can get to live football as boys do.

ESF: What do you think of the phrase 'girls don't entertain? M: Well (snorts) it's football and it's another kind of show, you don't have to compare men’s football with women’s football because I've said it before, we're biologically different and therefore, we play differently. We don't have as much speed, aggressiveness as they do… We are more tactical and that is why we play a very different football. That’s it.

Female football star M: The best player in the Liga Iberdrola is ...? (sound of drums) Jennifer Hermoso. And the one that is very good but is not given media hype… Mariona. (She laughs)

Favorite book M: I love reading and this question is always a problem for me but ... ' Contra el viento del norte’ by Daniel Glattauer oe ‘La mecánica del corazón' by Mathias Malzieu.

Food ESF: Star dish, favorite ... M: Well, let's see ... (laughs) If you like to eat well, you have to know how to cook. And I know! I love to eat, really, but for football I have to reduce certain foods. For example, my star dish, which is to suck your fingers is: crusty bread, with a layer of provolone cheese and another of hot foie. (close your eyes) Mmmmmm. Really, great. But this I can only allow once every two months (she smiles) that then you have to go out play.

ESF: Thank you very much Maitane, really, ESF thanks you for your time and your sympathy. M: Thanks to you and ESF that I get along great with many of that media. Goodbye, see you soon (smiles and leaves).

And I hit the pause button. I hope you never forget this interview, take a little piece of ESF home and we smile and closeness. Maitane from ESF we wish you all the luck wherever you go and we will always be grateful for these times you give us. Really, do not lose that illusion and desire to live the life that has led you to achieve so much. And we also want to thank Levante UD Feminine for their willingness.

Interview conducted and written by Cristina Brull. Original photographs by Juanfra Galindo for «They Are Soccer»