#theres a lot of games I played as a kid that I never actually progressed in much due to me just fucking around instead

[arolesbianism]

I should rly play portal, but at the same time I find it kind of funny to have it continue to exist as that one game I'd fuck around with the physics in as a lil kid instead of actually doing the puzzles in my memories especially since I'm sure I'd have rly liked glados if I actually bothered to actually progress in the video game I was playing

[cerealmonster15]

ok twst sims update from when i was playing last night, continuation of my blabbing here lol + some DOODLES about it

opens discord dms...

ok so i think i literally was planning on just going to my heartslabyul household and organizing their garden a little but i did not end up doing that at all, bc i immediately got distracted by i guess the new(? idk when they implemented it) 'event' system in sims 4 in real time where theres like, weekly goals for shit you can unlock? anyway this one was about the grim reaper and i wanted to unlock the reaper scythe earring for my diasomnia boys [i unlocked it and then forgot to give it to them lol]

but i had tasks to do! including asking some sims about ambrosia. this is what silver had to say about it

hes really excited about necromancy or whatever i guess

i did complete this week's tasks for the event thing but i immediately got distracted in the middle of it because i forgot that i'd ALSO toggled recently the story progression for relationships, as i mentioned in the other post i linked. so i see this stuff

and im like. when did sebek start dating jamil. when did silver start dating cater. why do they look like Hell [they had just come home from work and were Exhausted lol]

so i've been sleuthing around trying to find other relationships that have spawned [i cant always remember if it's something i did or if it happened on its own lol] and like i checked beloved son juice spade, where i could see i had been working on forming the first year's polycule with him last time i played- but also. chenya was there.

meanwhile ACE had formed no new romances but he DID form HATER BEEF with ORTHO FOR SOME REASON SKDJHKGSJD

[sorry ortho literally doesnt look like ortho LOL i dont use CC and i believe i didnt have the option to make kids hair blue]

one day ill learn how 2 draw chenya but NOT TODAY IM BUSY SOWWY KING

trey also had started a strong romance with floyd,,, and like i think i had him start something with jade a while ago but never maintained it / a while ago before i got a certain mod to help w/this, there used to be a lot of relationship decay bc i had trouble keeping up w/all the different households lol so i think jade and trey just hadnt gotten much attention but they look so funny in treys relationship slots

i think when the game does it by itself it just slots them as partners immediately so like im assuming it's treating floyd and trey as partners, idr exactly, but this just looks like trey and jade are best friends w/some budding romantic tension, and then floyd just walked up to trey and was like hey wanna go smash our faces together KLFHSLKDJGKL. godspeed trey good luck w/whatever that is

and then cater and trey have a romantic bond but i guess hadnt actually kissed yet so i decided to move them along so they could be an Official Couple but like.

right after they kissed, caters son walked up and was Not Having It kfsdhlkJFDSKLJKLG

anyway we got the item that let us summon the grim reaper

i tried so hard to get cater to hook up with him but sims 4 said NO FUN ALLOWED THIS TIME >:'(

thats ok tho he can just be an ace aro king and we can be besties instead :] it's also really funny seeing The Grim Reaper respond to social interactions like an average sim ksdlghkljf

ANYWAY,

chenya was scared of him. but also still dressed for the pool. and thinking about flirting with trey fdjksjfgklsd deuce was also scared of the grim reaper bc my poor boy is like constantly Haunted. i think he has three fears now and i dont know how to Help Him

i jumped around a bit more and found rook and jade have a romance and i truly dont remember if i did that or if the game did it kfdsjfkljsd but i DO like jade/rook so theres a good chance It Was Me, but i have no memory of it kfdsjklfs.

vil also has beef with jamil and azul

but thats been there for a lil while and i think i remember seeing it sometime after i was playing jamil or azul and they were on a date at a convenience store that vil was Also At, and vil was 🧍 standing like right in the midst of them so i think it did that thing where he inserted himself into a group convo with them and then got mad that they were flirting, bc i think sims usually get mad when 2 are flirting within a 3+ convo LOL

hes in his crumplebottom era. no pda in my lobby.

i had idia hit on cater by bragging about his gamer skills

then i found out idia also had a game-spawned romance with none other than

KALIM JSKFJSDLKJKFLKSD despite the fact that he was like actively currently annoyed by CHEERY PEOPLE [i think bc rook was there and i have him as cheerful lol]

idia voice wow all these bubbly extroverts suck wheres my boyfriend kalim al asim kJFLDSJFD

ok almost done now we're back at silver and cater again where kfdljsfkljs silver was still Yearning so i had him invite cater over to try and clear the wish to Smooch Boyfriend but like. i could NOT get the make out option to appear and thats specifically the one he'd rolled for so i was trying to spam romance w/them and it was like

i had them do their first kiss. then cater auto kissed silvers cheek and it was cute!

[i'd also given silver a small makeover lol]

then i saw shortly after the convo turned to very awkward and i was like huh why, theyre having positive reactions, theyre both flirty still, what- LILIA?!?!?!?!

dad walks up from behind them and is like ARE YA WINNIN SON??? so i got him the hell out of there klsdjflk he was embarrassing his son.... then as soon as he was out it swapped back to romantic interactions lol but i still couldnt get make out to appear. but u know what did if you saw the other post where i talked about this

silver nearly instantly had the option to propose to cater but he coudlnt bc their friendship is BARELY ANYTHING [you can see it peeking out on the right over there lol] so like. flash fire romance of them spawning something, me spamming romance interactions to try and fulfill the want, and no friendship progression fdksjgkldf

anyway then they all went to work can cater just kinda hung out in the kitchen w/their broken stove

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BYE!!!

[pengosolvent]

What makes Sonic Adventure 1&2 your favorite?

i learned my lesson that im too wordy for tumblr and had copy pasted almost everything to word pad.

grew up with them and they have things that touched and/or surprised me as a kid

i have a lot of feelings for e 102 gamma, and sonic adventure 1 itself has a really… specific "exploration" feel to me that stemmed a lot from not really understanding that game devs dont always develop a bunch of extra stuff? this is hard to explain but i didnt treat the world as like… "it makes sense that they made this portion because it has this use mechanically or storywise" it felt more like trying to find secrets in a world where there would (in my mind) be entire swathes of things behind a closed door or something

i think it also helped that sa1 as a game is kind of … disconnected in some ways the flow of progression on where to go and why isnt always the most intuitive (hence little hint orbs around if you get lost)

i didn't really understand in a way that made the game really fascinating also, it helps that i did find weird glitches, like i clipped into the sonic version of a level as knuckles i love the music, i do like the story a lot too, the base concept (replaying levels and stories in ways that focus on different characters (with some contradictions like who won where)) was cool to me

i gravitated a lot as a kid to things that felt like they had logic to them, i just couldnt see what it was just yet i think with sa1 it was easy for me to feel that feeling because sonic was basically a cartoon (what i spent all day watching since my parents were busy) that i could play

theres a solemness to some aspects of sa1 i also really appreciate like… idk… knuckles gives me feelings he's tricked but also he's… alone and just very focused on his goals i don't know there's a lot of breathing room in some ways also the way eggman's voice lines when you play as tails is so much more… like… Negative or scary is a good touch tail's theme can make me cry sometimes

e 102 gamma makes me cry too

i dont know, theres such a particular feeling to the whole game for me that i love

sonic adventure 2 doesnt have hub world exploration and the music is different but i still really liked the story and music i worked really hard to get all 180 emblems in the game (i never managed to get all the emblems in sa1 i think…) i wrote the date i got all the emblems down somewhere

i felt like… when i was a kid it was really hard for me to "understand" story beats? like i watched aladdin so much as a kid that the vhs tape broke, but i didn't really "understand" everything was connected

i think sa2 was something where it actually truly connected for me and i was shocked at the characterization of shadow i really really liked him there is such a huge feeling in… seeing a character do something because they care about someone else and their words… and when shadow realizes he had been misremembering maria's words and wishes, he changes so the care felt real it didn't feel like using maria, it didn't feel like shadow just solely used maria to fuel his own hatred once he understood maria didnt feel the way he thought, he changed how he felt because he genuinely did want to care about what maria felt

it was something that would have touched me as a child a lot, because i was around people who claimed to care but… didn't it felt like i could feel "this is care in a way i would want to experience" or something like that

i cried so much at the end

truthfully i just really appreciate when things are taken seriously but also like… in this way that is not Gritty Realism

i think chuck jones (one of the classic looney tunes director) said something about… cartoons don't have to be realistic, they just have to feel believable the logic needs to be able to be felt and followed, even if its not realistic like, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyxjkblA6Ok

okay this video is funny but its the first thing i thought of when he says "alright 1 second" and he leaves and INSTANTLY is back… thats not realistic, but its communicating a feeling AND being economical in what is shown? you dont have to see him make the whole cup of hot chocolate (And actually that would break the entire thing if you did see that)

its moving through what is "important" for what is trying to be communicated, wherein something is "believable" to the action you're trying to show

https://youtu.be/yz1iScOFJmM?t=69 heres another example, this time a carton directed by chuck jones, haredevil hare, which is marvin the martian's first appearance it should start 1 minute and 9 seconds in

the dog rockets over to bugs, knocks into him, and theyre entangled

bugs bunny instantly plays with the situation by pretending theyre locked in a romantic embrace this isnt "realistic" but bugs bunny is making it believable! he's playing wit hthe emotional logic of the scene in a moment where the dog would be in a transitional state (confused from knocking into bugs) but bugs doesn't forget the actual stakes, and instantly scrams the moment he sees marvin the martian approach (while the dog reaches for bugs bunny, completely believing the emotional logic bugs had set up earlier)

while marvin is angry at the dog, bugs is able to use this to trick marvin too, wherein marvin's emotional attention is on the dog, so he's not really… checking what happens very thoroughly bugs knows marvin wants to blow up the earth so gives him a special delivery that would work with what marvin wants

he's just… constantly using emotional states and understanding to change the flow of what others do in relation to him (or in this case, earth)

its not "realistic", its "believable" for the character in question (the dog or marvin)

so i feel like… sonic adventure 2 had levels of… unrealism but "believable" for me especially as a kid the emotions felt like things i could understand and follow (like the cartoon characters following bugs bunny's emotional cues) even if they were a bit disjointed at times or outlandish (somethings in the story are definitely. outlandish, moreso if you're someone who wants really particular realism in your stories so something like cartoon animals interacting with the president of the united states is already pushing it)

also chao i love chao

i got a weird glitchy chao by transferring a chao between games on the dreamcast and he had S ranks in everything i loved him … then my game froze

[madelinemccoolname]

i was inspired by a youtube video, so introducing

Magnet's Media Mreviews

Red Faction Guerrilla Re-mars-stered and Fast and the Furious (2001)

So lets start by addressing the elephant in the room. Neither of these are kids movies and one of them isn't even a movie. this is because I want to transition this series from "maddie wants to review a whole series" and transition it to "hey this is something I've consumed recently, here are my thoughts formatted like a casual review" both because the serious reviews are harder to write, and because I like writing and like sharing my opinions on things but I've made both too scary in my mind. so yeah not just movies, lets review an xbox 360 game.

Red Faction Guerrilla was an xbox 360 generation open world third person shooter about doing revolution on mars. The remake is the same, though prettier. I realize this is an awkward review to start this relaunched series with, if i said that was intentional would you believe me? the game mostly revolves around the player as mason lastname (no relation) doing odd jobs for the Red Faction, blow up a building, blow up a lot of buildings, blow up a guy... most of this game is blowing something up for somebody. This is because at the time of release, red faction guerrilla was showing off some extremely cool destructible environment and building technology, and they knew what they had was cool and satisfying enough to build a whole game around. This leads to a game that plays well, side quests that lead into story progress that lead into side quests, satisfying gameplay loops, and one of the only games I know that looks worse than it is to play. Sure it has problems, its a ps360 open world game set on a desert planet, it comes with problems, but satisfying gameplay isn't one of them.

On the subject of problems, the story might as well not exist, the music is unmemorable, there are maybe 6 high quality cut scenes in the game and most of them have to do with a racist, native martian scavengers that the game sets up for a long time and then it turns out to be a jingoist caricature of a vague "native" culture that probably should've been cut. the weapons never get as crazy as you'd hope, mostly just different rocket launchers and normal guns, moving around without a car is a pain, the game penalizes you if a civilian npc dies in the same zip code but game good so 7/10

memorable bits: big hammer, dust gun, the terrible propaganda billboards, jenkins the old man that lets you blow stuff up in his car, the call of duty modern warfare missions right at the end, the sequel

fast and the furious

oh my god I'm so much more comfortable talking about a movie. the fast and the furious is a movie about a guy named brian trying to be a guy with a fast car named brian, he wants to get in with another group with vin deasil's character dom, but uh oh, brian's actually a cop, is he going to choose being a cop or being a racer, watch the movie to find out what he chooses just forget about the sequels.

Speaking of forgetting about sequels, what is this plot? so dom and his gang are stealing tvs and dvd players and selling them on the street, and brian is trying to get in with them, to see if they're doing it, in addition to illegal street racing, which they're also doing but that's not a good enough crime. So then brian has to get closer and closer to dom, while examining other racers to see if they did it, and getting close to dom's group while hiding from them also. And the big race "Race Wars" is going on and they wanna win the big race and its actually not that important despite this being a car movie. It's almost notable in how un-notable this "undercover cop who might defect" plot is, except theres also 10 sequels??? and a spinoff? like what do we need to know, where the one guy gets his ADD meds? how many gangs is he going undercover for? you'd think they'd recognize him after a point. or oh shit wait maybe the next movie is about completely different characters and they're all just car movies. anyway I got distracted but the movie's boring 5/10

memorable bits: racism, sexism, homophobia, uh dom's shitty friend who's homophobic and is also dating dom's sister which you'd think he would have a problem with, race wars, brian's shitty cop handler that sucks, the snoozer of a climax, brian maybe dying at the end

[grad604-nilam]

♡ Reasons behind each item

♡ Workout accessories (Gymshark wriststraps, dumbells, socks)

These wrist straps were given to me by my boyfriend around 2 years into my weight training. I got to a point where my legs were stronger than my grip, and it was holding me back, I expressed by concerns to my bf, and he bought me these. The most perfect pair of wrist straps. Therefore, to me, these represent many things, the endless support for my training from my bf, embracing femininity in the gym, with the pink and the progress I have made in the gym so far, enough so, where my strength has reached a level, where my leg strength isn't holding me back, it's just my grip strength.

♡ Paint accessories (brushes and paint)

My paint brushes and paints have allowed me to create any and everything I have ever painted. From gifts for other people, painting things for my room, or painting my own clay creations. Without my brushes, I would not have the means to enjoy this hobby. Not to mention that getting new brushes is always exciting.

♡ Headphones

I listen to music every single day. I wake up, and play music while I shower and get ready, in the car, in the train, while I work, while I work out, everything. These headphones I have gotten recently, and they make the music listening experience so much better, and allow me to feel as if I am in my own world. As crazy as it may sound, I would find it very difficult to get through the day, listening to busy streets, without music. I would go as far as to say, that if I didn't have my headphones in a situation in which I usually would, it would make the task I need to complete, 100 times as difficult, affecting my mood immensely.

♡ Indian accessories (bags, jewellery, evil eye keychain)

As I have gotten older, I have embraced my culture more and more. Being an indian girl, especially when I was younger, I felt myself falling victim to the westernised beauty standard, and felt as if I couldn't be considered even remotely attractive or pretty. These items I have displayed around my room, are me finally being proud of where I'm from and no longer feeling that it is something I should be feeling bad about.

♡ Hair accessories (hair gel, clip and brush)

In the last 5 months, I have started the process of embracing my natural hair texture after straightening it for 4 years straight. These products represent the effort that I now put towards looking after my hair. My hair has always been important to me, in terms of length, and although I still care about having long hair, the health of my hair is finally becoming a priority.

♡ Plushies and toys

These two plushies seem very superficial, however, the stories behind them are very important to me. Firstly, I have always been someone who loves collecting plushies. The cow plushy my Dad won for me at the Easter Show when I was so young, and the only thing I remember is him handing me the toy. The hello kitty toy I won recently, on a night out with my family at an arcade, and we have never all gone to an arcade together, just to play games. That night we play so many games, and lost so many times at the cranes. I was the only one who won something, it was this toy. That night meant a lot to me, because everyone was having genuine fun and my mum who is so hardworking and finds it hard to to relax, enjoyed herself, wants to go again and played like a kid. To me, this represents family time. The bubbles pop figure, is also a representation of family to me, particularly my sisters, and we consider ourselves the powerpuff girls, as theres three of us.

♡ Crochet bag

Maybe two weeks into me learning how to crochet, I made this bag, after spending around 10 hours on it, not including the charm. This bag is a representation that I am able to do whatever I set my mind to no matter what. I wanted to make a crochet bag, with only a few weeks of experience, and I now have a bag I actually use and love.

♡ Heart rose quartz and trinkets

When I was younger, a barbie movie that I loved, and in it, the two barbie best friends, made necklaces out of heart shaped stones. I remember even finding a rock that was kind of shaped like a heart that I treasures, but I don't have it anymore. After being older, and being the heart loving person I am, I had to have something similar. After a hunt for a rose quartz heart, I found this at crystal mountain in the gift shop. I feel a part of me is complete, once I bought it. It also goes along with the fact that collecting little trinkets, has always been something I loved. The two charms are over a decade old, and I believe belonged to my older sisters, and I now treasure them as little trinkets, being true pieces from the early 2000s. They are also pf motifs I love, that are seen all over my room, hearts and stars.

♡ Ball heels

These were my actual first pair of heels that I wore, and bought for myself, for ball. Ball was so important to me, and going all out was what I wanted. This was me finally embracing my feminine side, and having the opportunity in such a memorable way.

[hsd-industries]

some stuff I’ve been into recently that I think is cool:

- a practical guide to evil: web serial about being a fantasy villain. kind of like worm i guess maybe. i havent finished reading it yet so for all i know it falls off hard in like the last chapter so uh dont blame me if thats your experience

- project moon’s games (lobotomy corporation, library of ruina, limbus company): a series of games all tied together by a shared storyline and also every now and then they reuse game mechanics. also there’s a lot of references to classical literature stuff. they made ishmael mobydick an anime girl and she beats up ahab who is also an anime girl. the first game in the series is lobotomy corporation, which is a sort of management sim thingy where you run a facility containing Definitely Not Scps. honestly out of all the games it feels more… idk i want to say niche but that’s not the right word i think. library of ruina is the direct sequel to lobotomy corporation and also just straight up spoils a big plot reveal but i played it first because… reasons?? idk personally i feel like that was probably not as bad of a choice as it sounds like but that’s just my experience idk. it’s a turn based card game where you people get invited to a library and then you beat them up and they turn into books. as this progresses you learn more about the fucked up city this takes place in and also theres trigger events from worm (it’s not actually, but the underlying principles are similar enough and god only knows i won’t get the opportunity to make that joke again). limbus company is thd most recent game and is also still ongoing because like every few months they add a new chapter. it’s a gacha game that somehow manages to be neither dogshit nor totally pay to win, which is nice. i guess making the entire plot of library of ruina a reference to a 16th century epic poem (orlando furioso) wasnt enough literary references for them so they made the entire limbus main cast based on characters from various works of classical literature. this includes: gregor samsa (the metamorphosis), ishmael (moby dick) but for some reason she’s an anime girl, and faust (faust) who is also an anime girl for some reason. actually a lot of male characters get turned into women now that i think of it. like library of ruina, the gameplay is turn based. they got rid of the cards though. all three games are on steam

- kamen rider: a kids tv show franchise about transforming superheroes. uses a lot of practical effects (the heroes transformations and 90% of the monsters are just guys in rubber suits), has some shitty cgi occasionally, and some props are obviously plastic toys but honestly I find that kind of charming and cool in its own way. kind of like jojos in that every season is it’s own unique thing with its own characters. i have legitimately no clue how one would “legally” watch this outside of japan, so uhhh. just pirate it lol. apparently you can watch some of the newer seasons on a website called tokuzilla but i have literally never used that so idk how good it is. also there’s 2 google docs with all the episodes of the earlier seasons, which is what I have been using. there’s a link to the google docs on reddit, just google showa/heisei viewer

also it’s not a recommendation but when I was writing this I realized ive gotten so used to recommending worm to people that i keep having to remind myself NOT to do that here because you already read it

I NEED to find some other media to become obsessed with. wildbow is so 2023

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[starcloaked]

🌻!

despite minecrafy being so big for like. ever actually i’ve never really gotten into it… like i watched the stampy guy when i was little like we all did and that was very relaxing but minecraft itself was very hard for me to get into. usually i just liked watching other people play it :3 i would lean over kids shoulders during daycare and tell them what the nether reactor core did or listen to the herobrine myth of the day and that was enough for me!! its kind of hard for me to get into “calming” games actually. im awful at building things and theres usually like a lot you have to learn… i tried playing stardew recently and like the sheer scope of the thing like stopped me in my tracks like my brain does not have room for all of that!!! i can only remember the intricacies of like 3 games at a time and they are pokemon terraria and cattails and i am not giving them up for another pixel wife. animal crossing too… a friend roped me into playing new horizons and it was fun for a while like i enjoyed the sense of progression and watering flowers was great. but like after thats done what do i do… and then when you leave the game for so long your weeds grow back and there’s roaches and all your villagers are sad and then i dont want to play it anymore i feel bad!!! i like to fight and solve puzzles FOR KIDS!! i cant solve puzzles for adults. but thats it <33

[huearmy]

The Smell of Truth - II

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 3291

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: N/A.  Jungkook continues to be just a cute pie here ok dont touch me.

Chapter I  -  Chapter III  Chapter IV  Chapter V  Chapter VI Chapter VII

You have always been enchanted by hybrids. You grew up surrounded by them, they were friends and family. Literally. For exemple, your favorite uncle adopted your cousin, a cat hybrid, when you were five and she was three, he and his wife wanted a second child but could't have one biologically anymore, and you got a friend as a gift. You never saw your cous being treated diferently from her older sister, indeed they were equaly loved by the whole family. You two would run and play for hours together. 

You learned some diferences between you and hybrids when living with your cousin in childhood. The first one was that you, unfortunately, don't have fluffy beautiful ears and tail like they do, more than once your mother needed to comfort you before going to sleep cuz you were crying, wanting to be cute too. The second was that you were always at a disadvantage in games like hide and seek and tag you it, but you still had fun. The third is that hybrids can't go to school like normal kids. Until a certain age you were home schooled, taking classes with a tutor, when you turned eleven things changed a little bit, and you started studying at an elite college. Your world expanded, you started to study more hours a day and met new people, new teachers, classmates, you made new friends that gradually showed you a cruel world that you didn't know. Most of your friends were also daughters of politicians and entrepreneurs, just like you, and just like you, they grew up surrounded by hybrids. But while they were family to you, to your classmates they were butlers, maids, pets. Soon you started to understand the injustice of it all, of why you were bullied when you talked about your cousin, why you didn't like to go to some friends' house where you would see them treating their hybrids coldly. 

The last straw came when you were fourteen, more specifically your birthday. Until then you kept your friends from meeting your cousin, for fear that the situation would be strang, but it was you birthday, you wanted all your friends in your sleepover, including her. At the beginning of the night you were apprehensive, but your friends did nothing but find your cousin cute and be kind to her, so you relaxed. Everything was going well until one of her best friends decided that she liked your cousin so much that she was going to "ask her father to buy her".Your cousing didn't understand at the time, it was the first time that she was treated as something and not as a person. You were so angry that the party ended right there, most girls left, even though it was two-thirty in the morning. Days later you were expelled from school for getting involved in a fight and assaulting one of the girls who used the wrong word to define your family. You went back to school at home, with the best private tutors, and the world outside was no longer so beautiful. That's how you, already in college, joined a radical activist group for the sake of hybrids.

The concept of owning someone was disgusting for you, that's why you never adopted any hybrid, just fought to free them, in and out of law.That's why you don't recognizes yourself in the decision of getting Jungkook home. But here are you, driving your SUV with him sitting next to you in the passenger's seat. You want the best for each hybrid you have ever rescued, but never before have you been so involved that you are directly responsible for one as you are now doing with him. 

Jungkook have followed you to your car, where you gave him a oversized hoodie of yours to wear - the nigth got cold - and snacks that you had prepared for your trip back home. He was really entertained comparing flavors of three diferent chips, that he didn't even noticed when your black outlaw clothes are gone, replaced by a summer dress in a cardigan. Well, he couldn't remember the last time he had a chance to eat chips, it was probably when he was a kid, and there weren't that many flavors. Of couse, he was refraining from asking you too many questions, that were filling your head like: How is house? Will it be long before we arrive? Do you live with someone else? Do you have other hybrids? Do you do these jobs every night? ... But he kept silent, like a good boy.You said the drive to your city would take about two hours, that he could sleep, but he wanted to keep awake and looking out the window at the landscape, the trees he had never seen so many together and other cars, once in a while passing by with their lights on. It would be beautiful during the day too, he thought. The music playing softly on the radio is also cool.

"Ok." You brake the silence. "We have sometime before we get home, we can talk and get to know each other until then."

Jungkook took a sip of his soda before answering. 

"To know each other?"

"Yeah. Like a  game where we tell things about ourselves and ask each other something..."

"Got it. How do I win this game?" Jungkook got excited.

"It wasn't supposed to be a competition." You laughed, and then got thoughtful. "If you make a question you got one point. If you tell a fact about yourself without being asked you got two points..."

"Whoever has the most points wins. Ok." Jungkook softly clapped his hands with a happy soud coming from his mouth, the gesture doesn't go unnoticed by you. You showd him where to find paper and pen in the glove compartment for him to write down the points. In one side of the page he writed your initials and in the other, his - JK.

"I go first. Hummm... My full name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm twenty-three. And you, what' is your age?"

"Woaaaa, Y/N! You already have five points, you are good at it." Jungkook excitedly wrote down your points, already thinking about what to say. "I'm twenty-two, but not for long, my birthday is in september. I'm a virgo. What's your sign?"

"Y/S." You responds. "You are into zodiac?"

"Not exactly. But it was a fact about me." Jungkook smile to you making you look away from the road for a moment longer than insurance so you can look at the dimples under his eyes. "Among these three chip flavors, which is your favorite?" "Both cheddar and bacon, I can't choose between them" You answered without hesitation. "Actually I love cheddar and bacon in any context. Did you decided wich one you like the most?"

Jungkook thoughtfully compared the chip packs.

"Nope. I like them all together. I like sweets more. Do you live with someone else?" Jungkook took the courage to ask something that was really on his mind.

"No, is just me in my apartament. But theres always a friend or relative visiting me, almost everyday. " 

Jungkook he felt a confusion of feelings, he did not know if he should be happy or disappointed that you lived alone, and as a result, that he will live only with you. It would be nice if you live with siblings or your parents if they are good like you, but at same time if they are bad he prefers to be with just you.

"How is your family?" He asked before you could make your next question.

"They are great." You said, your tone of voice and eyes ligthing up with affection. "I'm single child, but my family is quite big. We are all focused on progressive thinking of liberating hybrids. That's why I'm part of activist groups ... Of course, only I do this more clandestine work, and my mother doesn't even know. She would be crazy worry. You will like them I think. I have like six cousins, two girls and four guys... Oh my God, they will tease me so much for bringing a boy to live with me..."

Clearly your family is a trigger for you to talk non-stop. Jungkook concluded that your family must be really cool, for you to like them so much, making him wanting to know them too. It got him a little nervous. What would them think about him? Your talking makes your family look amazing, while he’s no big deal. Worse than being uninteresting is not being liked, and there are really bad things about him ... More bad than good things actually. Your family not liking him is scary, and thinking that you might know about his bad past and not liking him any longer suddenly made him anxious. 

You were bragging about your great-aunt's cooking skills when noticed Jungkook got too quiet.

"You are ok, Jungkook?"

He looked at you awkwardly, eyes round like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes."

"Sorry I talked too much." You let a weak laugh out, feeling embarrassed. "Is your turn now. Go ahead."

Jungkook looked through the window, avoiding looking to you.

"I don't know what else I have to say... You already won anyway." He showed you the score, your inicials with no space left to write down points. 

"Oh I bet you have a lot of things to say."

"Not good things." Jungkook dared to say, already regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth.Your voice softned.

"You don't need to tell me anything you are not ready to tell. Even if you're never ready. But I know that you are a person, and people are made up of many things, not just bad things." A moment of silence followed, you thinking about the next thing to say. "If you don't want to talk about past things... Lets talk about the future. What do you want to have for lunch tomorrow?"

________________________________________________________________

At some point Jungkook finally fell asleep. You drove an entire hour alone, slowly sipping an energy drink, his soft snores beside you not letting you forget about his presence. Everything you want is to sleep too, your eyes heavy, your body numb. You were thinking of it an how you would be in your bed about time, in your fluffy pijamas and warm socks, when blue and red lights appeared in your rear view mirror.

 You pulled over and waited to the cop to come closer to lower the window

."Good nigth, officer." 

You greeted in a low voice.The man just nodded writing down your license plate. 

"Do you know why I made you pull over?" He said, louder than you.

"No, sir." You calmly answered, shrugging. "I was not above the speed limit and my tail lights are ok."

He made an approving sound.

"Papers please."

You turned on the light and reached out to get your documents from the glove compartment, making Jungkook open his sleepy eyes with a groan.

"Y/N?" He called with a pout. The ultimate pout."Shhh. Keep sleeping, babe. We didn't arrived yet."

He obeyed immediately, leaning his head on the window, and you can tell he didn't really wake up in the first place. He was with his cap and hoodie on, so the cop couldn't see his ears and know he is a hybrid. And theis way is better, you thought. 

"Your boyfriend?" The cop asked while analyzing your driver's license.Time to improvise with your acting skills.

"Kind of." You timidly put a lock of hair behind your ear.He scanned the trash in the car."Any alcohol?"

"No, sir. Just energy drink and soda." You smiled.

He did the breathalyzer test on you anyway. 

Since it didn't point to guilty results, you were released to continue your journey.

 You took a deep breath, glad he didn't asked to inspect the car, he would surely find something that would link you to the terrorist act against the shelter, as the newspapers would for sure report the next day.

The good part is that forging Jungkook's adoption document in your name with a date prior to the rescue will be super easy, as the shelter's records blew up in the explosion. That thought made you relax and start driving normally. ________________________________________________________________

"Jungkook. Jungkook wake up." You shook his shoulder, his sleep too heavy. His head fell forward, making him jump in his spot, blinking heavily, the ultimate pout making another appearance. "We arrived, Jungkook."

Jungkook slowly regained consciousness, seeing you standing outside the car, beside him, holding the door open for him to get out.

"We're at home?." His face got bright.

"Yeah. Come."

It was a courtyard at the back of a small old building, it was still early in the morning, the sky was still dark and no one in town was awake. You turned on the car alarm, and guided a still sleepy but very attentive to the details of the new place, Jungkook, to the back door of the building, taking the bunch of keys out of his pocket - of your hoodie that he was wearing. He liked the proximity, the soud of the keys and the smell of the place. Actually the smell was pretty amazing, specially when you opened the door and everything inside got your smell, and others good things.

 You noticed his nose working in the air and laughed.

"Is a flower shop. Do you like it?" You asked.

Something made sense to Jungkook, it's not that the place smelled like you, you smelled like flowers because of the place.

"Yeah. Is pretty good." He said still sniffing the air.

"On the first floor we have the shop, on the second the shop office and a photo studio that I rent to a friend... And on the third and fourth is our home." You tell him as you go up the stairs, he following you closely. "Early on, both the store and the office are open, but this should not be a problem if you want to sleep till late."

"Ok."

You two whispered up to the third floor, a small corridor with two doors on one side and windows on the other. You stepped forward to the first door, the entrance to the living room and struggled to fide the rigth key in the dark. 

Jungkook noticed a faint light coming from under the door and a murmur inside. There was someone in there. He got alert and slightly apprehensive.

You finally oppened the door and got inside, dropping your heavy bag on the floor, the keys in the corner table, kicking off your boots. Jungkook got inside with short steps, looking around cautiously, looking for the person who would ambush you both. The light was the TV... He smelled a cat. 

"Y/n?" A sweet and sleepy voice reached your ears, a little form lifted on the couch. A sniffing soud and the sweet voice got hostile. "Who is this?"

"Yeri, you are here." You smiled, not really caring for the mood changing of her. Jungkook stepped behind you a little. "This is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is Yeri, my cousin."

"Hi." Jungkook tryied.

"What's he doing here? You never brought anyone home ..."

And by anyone she meant hybrids, and Jungkook knows it. He couldn't see her face in the dark, just her luminous cat eyes with vertical pupils, the dominant presence of those who had their territory invaded radiating from her. 

"There is always a first time I guess." You say, still ignoring the awkward atmosphere, taking off your cardigan and hanging it on the rack behind the front door. "Are you in the guest room?"

Yeri got up and turned off the TV.

"No. I'm sleeping with you."Clearly she didn't trust Jungkook yet. If you bet, she was ready to sleep in the guest room, but now she decided to sleep with you to protect you from the stranger. 

"Ok." You said.

"Ok." She said. 

She turned on the light in the corridor, taking a few steps to the top floor, with bare feet and cute pijamas, and then stopped looking at Jungkook. Now he could see her face. The scariest cat he has ever seen. "Welcome to the family." And than she disappeared up the stairs.

Jungkook gulped, not sure what to think about it.

"She liked you." You told him, putting a hand in the small of his back.

"How do you know?" He asked you with round eyes.

"She didn't say she disliked you." You smiled. "Yeri is pretty honest about her feelings."

You took him to a room in the hall, with a messy cat-smelling bed in the middle, an empty desk and an armchair close to the window, and an empty closet. Beside the bed on the floor was an open handbag , with women's clothing showing up.

"She said she wasn't going to sleep here..." Jungkook pointed.

"Yeah, she lied about it. She wouldn't let me put you to sleep on the couch, though..." You went down the hall and came back with another blanket. "Aaaand, this will be your room. You'd better get used to it."

You fixed the sheets and changed the blanket and pillowcases, probably to help with the cat smell, odorless bedding help to make the bed more of him.

"That's what I can offer you for now, after all I wasan't expecting to adopt you. We can fix it later." You tiredly said, picking Yeri's bag from the floor.

"Ah... Don't worry.". Jungkook wanted to say he was already happy with what he got, that being adopted in firts place was more than he expected, that he was greatfull of your caring so far. But he couldn't find the words to put in on.

"Good, bucause I'm dead tired... I need to sleep, and you do too." You gave him a pat in his back, and went to the door. "If you need it, theres a bathroom in the end of the corridor. Good night." And than you closed the door behind you.

Jungkook waited for the sound your staps desapeard to start moving and breathing again. He was in his room! He ran to the window and opened the curtains a little to see outside, it seemed to be a main street in a small town, but Jungkook had never stepped in a small town before to have reference. He tryied the armchair and conclued it was confortable enouth to take a nap on it. The closet was big enough for him to fit in - he tested it - another possible place for good naps. With leaps of joy he imagined all the things he could kept there, the clothes and shoes he didn't have yet but dream of having. Fantasizing about when you were going to take him to shopping, he put the hat on one of the top shelves and closed the double doors carefully, to make any noise. And then threw himself on the bed, scenting the sheets, sighing contentedly. He took off his shoes and placed beside the bad, his wallet in the nigthstand - open like a picture frame, showing the photo of two hybrid little boys embracing and smiling - , and the suffed bunny lying next to him with it's own pillow.

All in this room felt so real to him, as much as your smell. If you said it will be his room so it's true, because se believe in you, and he is so happy.With the thought of a bright future with you Jungkook finally fell asleep again.

___________________________________________________________

Tag list: @stayunderthelights​ ​  @deolly​ @panconte​

___________________________________________________________

Thakyou!!! Let me know if you liked it... <3 <3 <3 This is a sub blog so I wont respond coments, but I read it all.

[gaysonlyocean]

say more sims things

gonna talk about some of my favourite parts of the expansions, is a long one so jhgfdfgh buckle up

world adventures - i know its the point of the expansion but i love adventuring so much, theres nothing like the feeling of getting your sim into a new part of the tomb and having to check to see if theres a trap hidden away, also TheQuxxns sadly unfinished lp of it sits in my head rent free like when i hear the name ethan i think of her sim from that

ambitions - GOD I LOVE THE GHOST HUNTER PROFESSION SO MUCH, ive never managed to progress far in it cause im a idiot and lose interest in long games but its so fun, i always like going to one of the fishing spots or the graveyard after my sim finishes work and releasing the spirits rather than donating them to science cause i just feel its the better thing to do, honourable mention to inventor though!!!

late night - yet another ep i associate with TheQuxxns lets plays cause she did her generations on in the late night town, i really like the setting of it!! ive never been too keen on celebrities and my sims dont go clubbing but its really fun, also vampires my beloved are here!!

generations - I HAVE SEVERAL THINGS!!!! the treehouses are very personal to me cause i havent had one cause we dont have trees but when i was a kid i wanted one so i would always give my sims treehouses so i could live out my dreams that way, i know a lot of people think theyre creepy but i really love the imaginary friends, theyre very beloved to me and i think its really neat, i remember one of the older patches of the game it was rare to have a imaginary friend be sent to your new baby so i was always very excited when they got one and with the last patch it happens every time which im a lil sad about but oh well, THE WALKING STICK!!!!! no one saw but when i was playing with my troutman legacy the other day one of my founders meredith aged up into a elder and since she was no longer in the household cause wren moved out she ended up getting a walking stick and i was so happy, when i was a kid i wished the walking stick could be used by more than just elders cause i wanted to set everyone to the southern gentleman walkstyle kjhgffghjk

pets - i have a very special place in my heart for the hunting skill and the minor pets, its just so fun to have your pets go off and do their own thing like in my troutman legacy cause wren is a witch i have her cat go hunting for beetles and what not to use in wrens elixirs and in a different game i have two werewolves and a dog and i have them all go hunt for gems together, minor pets are just really wonderful and i love finding them out and about the place, in two separate games my sims have minor pets just cause they happened to spawn near the house and i got excited, also the raccoons my beloved i kept wanting to add them to my household as a kid and broke everything

showtime - yet another a ep i associate with TheQuxxns lets plays, can you tell she was my favourite youtuber as a kid? ive never actually played with showtimes active careers cause im not interested in them so her videos let me experience them, i love the genie though so much, i Always have to free them cause theyre excellent and i love them, i wish they could still grant wishes after being freed cause like imagine they can now only grant one wish once a day or something but i get it, is just really fun to me

supernatural - MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE EP I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH, i love the witches and the different spells, i love the fairies and their bastardly actions, i love the werewolves and how much they are just Not threatening, i love the zombies despite being so scared of them as a kid, i love the vampires cause is me, i love the alchemy skill, i love the lifetime wishes, i love the cas items, i love the traits, i love the buy mode items, i love the build mode items, i love the town, i love the lore, its my favourite expansion pack ever your honour theres not one thing i hold above the rest i adore this pack so much

seasons - i love the festivals!!! i set my game to have a new season every two weeks cause its too fast as a default so my sims have time to actually experience everything, ive had several sims go pie eating on a date and the haunted house the fall festival is excellent with the several different outcomes!!

university life - the street art skill!! its just really fun to me!! i love the easter eggs you can get in the art too!!

island paradise - oh the diving for sure!!! i cant go diving cause the feeling of diving equipment is sensory hell so its another time i live through my sims <3 also sharks!!! and moray eels!!! its wonderful!! TEH KRAKEN EXISTS MEAT MAN THE KRAKEN

into the future - i lvoe bot building its os much fun to customise them and make the trait chips and everything, i dont like having to hunt for nanites and crystals but i get it, i will always remember meatica holding me at gunpoint to name a plumbot tungas

[galactichoneybee92]

Some Improbable Season 5 Headcanons

Fair warning: These things aren’t going to happen. But while I’m obsessing, I sometimes imagine possible scenarios that would be interesting to watch play out. Perhaps a more industrious person would write these into fanfiction however, I am not that person. And so you get a half-assed  Tumblr post about my imaginings. Please enjoy:

1. What happened to the sword? I don’t remember, I just know that it broke and now Adora is unable to become She-Ra (Until she inevitably learns how to do so without the sword as Madame Razz was clearly insinuating was possible to Mara) But I like to imagine that she lef the pieces of the broken sword where they lay. I also like to imagine  a scenario in which Hoard Prime has his clone minions doing recon on the new planet and they find the pieces of the sword. Later, they bring them back to the ship. 

Skip to a scene where Catra and Glimmer are present, perhaps being questioned about someone his troops have heard about called She-Ra, a defender of this planet. He wonders aloud if this She-Ra will be someone he will have to contend with, only to have one of his troops present the broken pieces of the sword. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about anything like that, Sir. I have it on good authority that there is no more She-Ra” (Or something like that Idk how they talk) He smiles, meanwhile Catra and Glimmer poorly try to conceal their reactions. They have both been operating under the assumption (hope) that since the planet survived, that Adora did too. Not knowing that Adora shattered the sword herself, tey are now faced with the horrifying realization that perhaps Adora didn’t make it out of this and that for both of them, their last interaction was horrible. 

I like the miguided assumption that Adora has died, mostly because I want to torture the two of them a little for being butts, but also because often people don’t appreciate what they have until they lose it. Even having “lost” Adora like Catra did, she still saw her regularly. They still interacted, even if those interactions were fighting or exchanging snarky banter. Even if someone hates you (Which Adora clearly doesn’t, Catra, you’re just being self destructive)  that hatred is still a form of ackowledgement- It’s not the same as losing someone entirely. I want to see the two of them (But mostly Catra because she’s my favorite little disaster) forced to face with the reality of Adora’s “death” Especially since in Catra’s case it’s sort of like getting what you asked for and realizing that it wasn’t what you wanted at all. 

I want Glimmer specifically to witness Catra’s reaction to this news as a way of gaining a deeper understanding of the relationship between the two of them. I feel like Glimmer has never viewed Catra as very nuanced, instead just grouping her into a box, labeling it “villain” and calling it a day. Realistically she’s never had any reason to consider any of the layers of Catra’s character but I kind of find it odd considering that Adora used to be best friends with Catra. Has Glimmer really never wondered why? Never thought that somewhere under all the snark and barbs there must be a reason why Adora loved her  was her friend in the first place? 

Lastly, I’m a sucker for a dramatic entrance, and if they think that Adora is dead, they’d never expect her to show up, which leads to self indulgent imaging number two...

2. Sneaky spy Adora. I feel like I am perhaps giving Adora and Bow too much credit here because espionage has never really been their strong suit, but imagine for me if you will a scenario in which they decide to be subtle. The two of them sneak onto Hoard Prime’s ship and do some spy work, trying to decide on the best course of action to take him out and get Glimmer home. This would be a great opportunity to give Adora a much needed costume change and while realistically I know that the whole vibrant 80′s theme isn’t going to allow it, I would love to see her in black. Also something backless, but that comes into play later in part three. This all ties together. I’ve had a lot of time to plan this. 

So they sneak in and while like, peering out from an air vent or something (Idk the make up of the ship ) she is shocked to see that Catra is there too and that while she and Glimmer still snap at eachother and exchange dirty looks and stuff, they are reluctantly working together. I imagine their situation is sort of like, they come out and do various activities on the ship, whatever Hoard Prime deems them useful for, but they are locked in a cell overnight. Adora observes both situations while trying to get the layout of the ship and formulate a game plan.

I’m not going to say that Bow having actual real live pointy arrows made for long distance stabbing would be an advantage instead of his like, novelty prank arrows buuuuuut..... I know that this is a kid’s show but there are other cartoons that allow characters to get stabbed and stuff like, it could happen. It won’t buuuut anyway....

While running around the ship (in a dramatic hooded cloak that covers her face because of course, what do you take me for) and like, sabotaging things and preparing to dismantle this whole operation, Adora runs into perhaps both Catra and Glimmer but at least Catra (Because sorry Glimmer, I do actually like you but like, I’m playing favorites hardcore here) Maybe she helps with something they’re trying to do and gets caught. They don’t realize it’s her but now this mysterious hooded figure is on their radar. And then when the actual attack happens Adora gets her big reveal and it’s super dramatic and they realize that not only is Adora alive, she was the one they met earlier and just. I’m trash for that kind of trope. Really I am. This then leads into the big battle which also leads into point number three...

3. This point is less concrete, but do you remember Adora’s backless number? Perhaps a black halter top of some kind paired with black pants? Yeah? This is why it’s important. When Adora and Bow finally make their move, Bow goes to rescuse the girls while Adora levels her attack on Hoard Prime. Catra and Glimmer are in their cell and hear alarms start going off. They startle, frustrated at being trapped and unable to know what’s happening outside.

 Then Bow shows up in his own dramatic black hooded cloak (He’s very happy to shed it and let his middrift free once more. It’s felt very unnatural) they’re shocked to see him. But like, it works because Catra probably knew that someone would come for Glimmer but it makes since that it would be Bow since Adora is “dead.” Maybe in a previous conversation (During the time in which the two hesitantly began bonding, because you can’t tell me that’s not where this is going) Glimmer expressed doubt that anyone would come for her after she did such a terrible job being queen. Anyway with Bow here, he and Glimmer hug and they make their escape, the three of them, during which someone questions Bow on what’s happening and he just says that Hoard Prime is being distracted.

Why is the rescue mission just Bow and Adora? Idk. Didn’t think that far ahead. Just go with it. Maybe the other princesses are waiting for their cue to join in later. Maybe it’s because there isnt any water or plants in space and they’re kinda useless. Maybe Entrapta will join in (She has to actually, so she can reunite with Hordak and then he has his whole amnesia thing but like, that’s not part of this. That is a seperate post) Anyway the important thing is that they aren’t here at this point. 

So, Catra and Glimmer are confused about who is distracting Hoard Prime and then, there we go. The dramatic entrance. They look and see Adora in her new outfit, mid-battle with Hoard Prime. And like. It’s a hard battle and she isn’t really making any progress on her own, but she’s fighting really hard and well. I feel like people often forget that Adora was top of her class back in the Hoard like, even if she isn’t She-Ra she’s got to be pretty bad ass and whether the show wants to explore this or not, I will.  I have a theory for this that I will expand on in just a bit. 

So they go to join her only to realize that theres like an invisible barrier preventing them from joining. Maybe it’s a security measure made to protect him from attack that she used to trap her in there with him, while simultaneously keeping his minions out. Maybe it’s just because I want Catra and Glimmer to be forced to watch this battle for a bit while Bow tries to disable the force field but it’s mostly because I’m shipping trash and I want Catra to observe two things.

The first is that Adora looks really cool in this new outfit. Also Adora’s hair is down because I like it that way. She has a new sword, one that’s just a sword and not a She-Ra sword. This one is just for wrecking shit. The second is that Adora is way better at fighting than Catra expected and when Catra expresses this sentiment Glimmer just looks at her like she’s fucking dumb and says something along the line of “I kind of assumed you were the brains of the Hoard, but you’re dumber than I thought if you think that Adora was ever ACTUALLY trying to hurt you.” Followed by, “It’s a shame you didn’t return the sentiment.” And then you get this moment of Catra just watching Adora being really kick ass, coming to terms with the fact that Adora never fought ALL OUT against Catra the way she is against Hoard Prime, like, Adora never tried to murder Catra. And then the last part of Glimmer’s statement sinks in and then Catra notices the claw marks scarred down Adora’s shoulderblades. The ones that she put there, because even if Adora never really tried to hurt Catra, Catra sure as hell never held back on her. And then Catra feels like shit because while I absolutely love her to pieces, she’s been kind of horrible and I want her to suffer a little more before her redemption. 

See why the backless top was necessary? Yep. Good. 

Anyway, predictably Bow lowers the barrier and they join the fight. Maybe Adora takes a bad hit and then Catra catches her or soemthing. The two look at eachother, both realizing that it’s been too long since they fought on the same side, but also silently acknowledging how good it feels. This is meant to foreshadow Catra eventually joining the good side permanantly. They all fight Hoard Prime and maybe the other princesses join in, but since this isn’t the final episode  (Maybe like episode 4 or so?) they don’t defeat him. But they DO do some damage and excape back to Etheria. 

5. This one fits in somewhere before the last point but idk where exactly. Honestly it’s not even important where this snippet goes but at some point Hoard Prime reads Catra’s mind. I don’t know if cannonically he can only read his clone’s minds, but clearly I’m not writing for the show okay, this is my pointless headcanon. I don’t even know the context but Glimmer is there too and Hoard Prime, maybe having grown suspicious of Catra’s loyalty, reads her mind and just drags her. He kind of taunts her for beign sad that her “mother never loved you” to which she snaps like “Shadow Weaver is NOT my mother.” And he just tuts and is like “But it feels like she is.”  And then they get to Adora  and Catra says something about hating her and he calls her out on it like, “Hm no, that’s not quite right is it? No, you love her quite a bit” And then he does that villain thing where they’re kind of talking to themself while filing through your thoughts and it’s like “She would be like your sister after all but oh, whats this? Oh, so not like a sister after all.” And he like, puts her on blast for being in love with Adora. And she denies it and he replies with “A shame you don’t actually mean half the things you say.”

Meanwhile Glimmer is there witnissing it because I don’t know if you can tell yet but like, I really want her to have a better understanding of Catra. I want Catra to understand Glimmer too, but I feel like that’s possible without physically dragging the truth from her like.... she’s not in a great place mentally but no one is worse than Catra, lets be real.

That’s absolutely the most self indulgent part of this entire mile-long post and I don’t even know what you’re doing still reading this. But if you were wondering what I imagine going down, it’s this.

All my imaginings end in Catradora, because I am shipping trash.

So like, if anyone wants to write this out just tag me so I can see it, because I’d love to read it. But if not? Totally understandable. I’m more suprised you read it all because it is 100% a  self-indulgent conglomoration of all my favorite tropes, shoved together whether they make sense or not. 

[ot3]

i’m going through my document folder trying to find the criteria for my stellar classification lab and i found a one thousand word opinion document rant about why trans john is good im now going to just paste it here without rereading what it says. lets see what it holds up.

Okay so essentially John doesn't have a character arc in homestuck proper. If we're considering, in this instance, a character arc being the way a character's worldview has to change to engage with the events unfolding around them. John really is never forced to shift or reconsider his dogma, and, in a grand and overarching scale he doesn't have anything he wants to accomplish above or beyond the stated 'live and succeed' terms given by the game. So for John, having an arc that involves an external conflict (e.g. Kanaya's arc culminating in the recreation of the matriorb) doesn't make any sense. There's no external Reward, per se, John could receive that would contextualize or add meaning to his struggles in the comic.

John also by far has the least interpersonal issues. There's never any larger scale conflict that results because of John disagreeing with or being unable to relate to/sympathize with any of his friends. John's pretty much universally liked and on amiable terms with almost every member of the cast he's met. So a character arc that requires John's interpersonal relationships to change or improve doesn't quite make any sense either. Contrast with a character like Karkat, whose entire character growth comes from changing the way he interacts with the people around him. So any sort of meaningful interpersonal arc for John is, I think, out.

That leaves us with  Man vs. Self. Less typical of a conflict for a story that starts off as such a conventional hero's journey, although we all know that Homestuck subverts (for the most part, successfully) a lot of traditional storytelling concepts. Even as early as the first act of homestuck, we're introduced to the sense that john is 1. lacking in self confidence in some places and 2. uncomfortable with his current lot in life. The narration for John's hijinks often include a lot of commentary about how bad he is at doing the things hes doing when he does them, which, objectively, is true, and while initially played for laughs, I think gets recontextualized once we quite literally see The Writing on the Wall.

All of the kids scribble in their sleep but John's the only one who writes a bunch of cruel and self deprecating things about himself. One could argue that the Gamzee using chucklevoodoo on John is what caused him to write this, but I don't think that makes sense; arguably it'd only be meaningful as Emotional Torment to exacerbate pre-existing subconscious self hatred, not make up new shit. Considering John isn't consciously aware the writing is even there, I think it's safe to say that the implication is that on some level John really does feel this way about himself. And there's a lot more I could say on this but I will go on and make some other points.

First of all theres the way John is about his movies. We all make plenty of jokes about john being gay for mathew mccoughuhughouhgouhguhey and nic cage and we're all right about it but also there is the whole trans/gay issue of Seeing these characters in media and the lines between it being so blurry; do I want to like them? Or date them? I think part of john definitely realizes that in some ways what he's feeling is Attraction but I think because of the way he learns a lot of his social dynamic from movies, he internally has that thought train of 'wow, if I was a girl, I'd so totally be into dating cameron poe.'. Lets not deny that. Plus I think there's osmething interesting to be said about how the specific scene from any of johns terrible movies that gets the most narrative screentime is the one where poe reunites with his wife and daughter. There's some more stuff I could say here too regarding Dad Issues and Nuclear Family but I could definitely literally write a thesis about john egbert if I had to which is kinda sad ANYWAY.

There's some meta weight to John's place in the narrative of being one who brings about change. John as a character is a proactive one in a very bizarre way because he himself doesn't actually do much. However, what he seems to excel at is prompting action and change in other people. Even though all of the heavy lifting is done by other characters, John essentially saying ''lets do this'' instigates a huge majority of the actual change, growth, and progress that happens throughout the narrative. Especially in the GO! Timeline; john says 'no, things need to be different' and then physically leaves his own reality to Improve Life. All of the planning and work is terezi's; john just goes to serve as her errand boy, and jade's the one who has to suffer when the price is paid. Which brings up another point. fundamentally, john is not bound to reality in the same way the other characters are; he's completely outside of it, and I think that arguing that being freed by the harsh cosmic rules that control the way one is allowed to navigate Reality could be metaphorically interpreted as being able to free yourself from the rules and regulations of a Society. Doubly so since so much of homestuck is a story with emphasis on isolation, especially during childhood.

And getting more out there there's also the fact that homestuck Is a creation story, going even so far as hussie in the authors notes make a quip about 'adam egbert and eve lalonde' when john bites the apple that lets him enter the medium. John then goes on to be the one to create all the babies for the session as the ectobiologist, sort of playing the role of both a cosmic father And cosmic mother in a theological sense.

So like i'm not saying 'john is a trans girl and the narrative foreshadows it' because it definitely doesnt, but I am saying as far as 'male characters as trans women' headcanon goes, this one has a lot going for it on a conceptual level

[starlightshore]

clauslucas replied to your post: maybe i will get off my ass and marathon mother 3....

if you do i can definitely get you a list of content warnings before starting as i think it’s important to keep in mind beforehand!

oh!!! i think i did reblog one of those like a year ago O:! i actually watched up to

//// spoilers the t-rex fight and the kids(or one of them?)  met with the crossdressers(?) and i thought i missed something but realized nah it really was being Like That.

its a shame the game went that direction but i also understand the game is about 15 years old and while that doesn’t excuse it, i can understand and appericate how far progress has come in games that this kinda thing doesn’t really happen anymore. (of if it does, i’m not really the gamer to know)

but ya!!! i see mother fans posting those warnings every once in a while and while i ain’t in the fandom, i can see how people are critical of it and that theres still a lot of the game that means a lot to people and i certainly do love what i did see of it. like, i’ve been playing chrono trigger and now my jrpg mental library is slightly bigger to compare this game to, and gosh. the character writing,the charm, the story so easily flows from plot beat to game play is as smooth as butter. its so well crafted! i’m excited to see more of the characters!

i just never really feel i can justify the time it takes to marathon something, i’m very much a person who values their free time and wants to use it to work on my projects because “if i’m not creating something than its wasted time” is sadly something i think about all the time. BUT i know i’m not a machine, and that consuming media is VERY important to building up a mental library and reference for your own creative works!! and its good to enjoy oneself and the media that got me wanting to make my own media!

anyway lmao sorry for the long ramble i’m chatty today aksdfjasdf but ya!!! thank u sm it warms my heart knowin u and others are sticking out for new people getting into the game and knowing properly before getting into this game is so important <3333

[my-status-single]

Tony’s Daughter Side Story 7

Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word count: 1548

Warnings: Steve is nervous. Theres sex KINDA in this part. 18+. Tony is mentioned. I feel like that has to be a warning now Yyyyikes.

Synopsis: Let’s drop two…three? bombs in this part. Steve is ready to take a few more steps in this relationship of his.

Authors Note: This is a canon compliant AU. This story is set in the same AU as my series Tony’s Daughter. It isn’t a direct part of that series, but it does take place in the same timeline. I’m going to release a post with the current timeline soon, because as this series has progressed things have changed.

Tony’s Daughter Side Stories Autumn

Tony’s promise for a form of birth control rang true.

It arrived exactly a month after that first visit with a note ‘Have fun kids xoxo T.S”.

It was great. Really helpful. Really great and…helpful.

…

Except,

Steve can’t figure out why it was addressed to him.

Why would his girlfriend’s birth control show up on his doorstep?

Did Tony think this was a joke? A fun game to play?

It definitely wasn’t.

Why would his girlfriend’s father send him the birth control intended for her?

Why wouldn’t he just send it to her?

Wouldn’t that have been the logical thing to do?

Steve was already overthinking the whole sex thing.

He’s had sex before so he shouldn’t be freaking out the way that he is.

But he’s definitely freaking out.

“Hey you ready?” He hears her call and it startles him enough that he drops the package and kicks it under his bed as she walks into his bedroom.

“Yeah.” He says after a beat. He stands and goes to her, kissing her forehead. “What am I ready for exactly?” He whispers, rubbing her hips as he pulls her closer.

She laughs and swats at his chest. “Farmer’s market.” She says. “Get dressed.” She says and swats his bum then. He laughs and steals a quick kiss before walking to his closet and dressing for the day.

He forgets about the box for a solid week.

Until a cuddle on the couch gets a bit heated.

They are both flushed in the face and she pulls away and kisses his nose and leaves.

And Steve wants to hit his head against the wall.

He can’t quite figure out why they are waiting anymore because…well, they’ve done things. They’ve been naked together and..had fun. They just haven’t…had sex.

And he’s sure that’s because of him. Because she’s waiting for him. And that’s great, but now it has him freaking out over taking that next step.

Because just like with their first kiss, he feels like it’s a bigger deal than it needs to be now.

“You’ve done this before.” He keeps reminding himself.

There had been those couple of months on that USO tour. Some of the dancers had been very enthusiastic about the thought of being with Captain America. And he had gone along with it because…wasn’t that was he was supposed to do?

And after the defrosting..he’d been so desperate to just feel anything that he’d been with a few people.

So, he’s done this.

He’s done sex.

Had sex?

God, he’s freaking out.

Steve is not a liar. And it would be a lie if he said he didn’t want this.

He’d wanted this for a long time actually. Long before everything happened with Loki even. She is a beautiful woman and his body responds to that. It’s a natural reaction. It’s just not one he rarely acts on these days. Because he wants it to mean something. And most of the time he’s acted on that feeling it hasn’t meant something.

But now.

Now she is his and he is hers.

And he wants that closeness.

That connection.

And the build up to that is making him a little crazy.

Is this a symptom of his anxiety? He still has trouble recognising those symptoms.

His heart is pounding in his ears, and his stomach is doing little flips, and his breathing is not at all even.

That’s anxiety, right?

She’s going to be here in less than ten minutes and he really needs to pull himself together.

“You’ve done this before, Steve. You’ve got to calm down buddy.” He whispers and rubs his temples. “She already likes you, man.” He groans. This is so embarrassing, Jesus. “This isn’t the 40s. You aren’t fighting for her attention. She’s attracted to you.” He says.

“Who’s attracted to you?” He freezes at the sound of her voice and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Hey.” He whispers, looking over at her. She tilts her head to the side and eyes him curiously.

“Hi Stevie.” She says back. “You’ve been kind of jumpy lately. You okay?” She walks over to him and kisses him softly. Like she always does. But he holds her closer for longer, deepens the kiss a bit and rests his forehead against hers.

“I love you.” He whispers. Her eyes widen and she looks up at him. “You don’t have to say it back.” He says and takes her hands. “But...I’m at the point where I want more from this. And I don’t want to take that next step without you knowing how I feel. Without telling you that I love you.” He whispers. 

The idea of sex makes him nervous. But this? This is the most simple thing in the world. Telling her that he loves her. It’s easy.

And the way she is beaming at him right now? 

That’s just icing.

“I love you too.” She whispers to him. His breath hitches a bit and then he’s beaming too.

“Yeah?” He whispers. She giggles softly and nods. “Yes Steve. I love you.”

“That’s good.” He says and nods. “That’s really good.” He whispers.

And then they are kissing again.

They’ve kissed a lot. Steve really likes kissing her and she lets him whenever he wants to. Which is often. But this time is different. They both feel it. And it’s not just because of the declaration they’ve just made. It’s because they both know it’s the start of more.

He deepens this kiss, holding her waist and pulling her flush against him.

“This is okay right?” He whispers lips ghosting over her ear as she kisses his neck.

“It’s perfect. Please don’t stop.” She whispers back. But she pulls away then and he frowns.

“Do you want this?” She asks, hands resting on his chest.

He left out a small laugh. “Sweetheart, I definitely want this.” He says.

She nods and kisses him again. There are no hesitations from either of them after they both give their green light. She’s tugging his shirt off and he has his hands under hers, still only touching her waist. He’s ever the gentleman.

He kisses her neck softly and she moans and nips at the skin on his neck and...suddenly he isn’t a gentleman anymore. 

He grabs the tops of her thighs and hoists her up and onto the counter. She gasps and grins at him.

“This. Off.” She whispers and tugs his t shirt. He obliges and lets her pull it over his head.

“Your turn.” He says and pulls her shirt off as well. She’s already undoing the buckle on his belt. He laughs softly and kisses her neck and shoulder. “We aren’t doing this on the kitchen counter.” He whispers, nipping her skin softly.

She shivers. “Probably a good idea.” She whispers. “Bedroom?” He nods and scoops her up. He likes picking her up. He likes that she lets him. She’d sting and trained and could easily resist, but it seems like she likes it too.

She giggles when he plops her on the bed. Then he gets under it and pulls out Tony’s gift.

“This came a week ago.” He admits sheepishly, handing it to her. She looks at it and turns a bit pink and starts laughing.

“God, he’s such an ass.” She says, still giggling. She opens the package and turns even more red as she pulls out condoms and pills. She looks over everything and hums. There’s another letter, probably explaining what everything is. She reads that.

“The birth control pills take a couple weeks to be effective.” She says. “But he figured we wouldn’t want to wait and made some specialised condoms as well.” She says.

He nods because that..sounds like something Tony would do.

“So, we could use one of those.” She says and he nods again. “Or..” She looks at him and bites her lip.

“Or?” He asks and raises an eyebrow.

“We could just…see what happens?” She whispers, cheeks going pink again.

His eyes widen and he feels his own cheeks go a bit hot.

Oh.

“R-really?” He whispers and sits beside her on the bed.

She nods slowly. “Yeah…if you want to. I…Steve, I trust you. I see this being permanent. And even with the serum and whatever my mom did the chances of us getting pregnant on the first try are still so slim.” She’s rambling a bit and Steve has never been so in love. He just kisses her softly.

“Whatever happens.” He says and nods. “I’m fine with whatever happens.” He says and strokes her cheek.

She smiles and nods. “Okay.” She whispers.

So he kisses her again. He gently lays her back on the bed, hovering over her a bit. He ghosts kisses over her cheeks and down her neck and chest. She scratches lightly at his shoulders and back.

It’s perfect.

And not that it matters but it’s easily the best sex he’s ever had.

And she stays and cuddles and traces shapes on his chest and biceps.

The women he’s been with…they never stay. Or he doesn’t stay. Because it always felt wrong after.

But this?

This is perfect.

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[tandytoaster]

I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”. 

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing. 

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying. 

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into. 

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career. 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON  “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready. 

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me. 

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit. 

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag. 

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic. 

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people. 

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference 

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.

[larksinging]

random non rp one: what do you think of spyro so far, depending on how far you've gotten? what are your favorite and least favorite (besides town square >_>) parts of it?

okay since i just RAGEQUIT haunted towers ill answer this

granted ive only played through a portion of spyro 1 so far, but ive gotten pretty far along! so

the game is just. gorgeous. i love that kind of... colorful painted blocky cartoon style that is in some newer games that feels so SOLID. i like cartoon things that feel very... solid. yeah. this is good. and the colors are always really gorgeous.

spyro feels SO good to control. his animations are fucking top notch. spyro reignited spyro animations should be a taught as a standard for character animation. his run cycle? his idle motions? just the way he... MOVES. its so good. for all my life ive been on an unending quest for games where you play as animals and just running around feels good because it just Feels Good To Me to indulge in that fantasy, and this is a really fucking good one for that. 

oh before i forget, i love all the dragons you free. i mean some im like “eh” but i like how they all have themes and how different and distinct each one is. id say my favorites have been the beastmakers and the dream weavers. i love those crocodile tails and those feather wings

theres just something really nice about the system of the homeworlds and the little offshoot levels and freeing the dragons. collecting gems and stuff... i also love all the variety of rewards, like. the base level of completion you need to move on, then you can 100% a level, then you can get all the skillpoints/achieves. its nice!! maybe. TOO good. i have to do it ALL. 

also the difficulty is... just right. some things i struggle with but i always feel like i CAN do it. and im, you know, not AMAZING at video games or anything but i feel like i can with a bit of patience and persistence. thats nice! actually related, it feels really nice to actually make good progress and get stuff done. as a kid, playing hero’s tail but also games in general i never could manage to get very far in any but... now im an Adult and i have a bit more skills to make up for my shortcomings

 im really enjoiny it. its just so charming and silly....

but also TERRIFYING and CRUEL. i will kill whoever invented all those supercharge puzzles. and flight levels, just........ i’ll get to you later. 

also the enemy designs range from really cool and fun to. uh. druids. and....... him. 

i enjoy it a lot and enjoy the challenge but... some of the challenge like. get me really frustrated and i have no idea how kids figured it out back in the day. i’m not as frustrated with some other games, theres a kind of “this game lowkey hates you, but it’s fair” that spyro occasionally has that i dont mind as much as some kinds of “hard but fair”. 

anyway tl;dr im enjoying it a lot! its a good game. its a GORGEOUS game. i feel like i could nitpick a few more things or point out a few flaws but... i dont feel its needed

before i go here are some of my fav and least fav worlds (so far)

favorites: dark hollow, cliff town, hmm maybe wizard peak, i actually am fond of tree tops, metalhead, dark hollow least favorite: town square (>_>), alpine ridge, high caves, misty bog, JACQUES