#12 week fetus

[cheerfullycatholic]

Caption⬇️

From daily_fetus on Instagram

[cheapcheapfaker]

in case you were wondering why I’ve been a bit absent minded and sick lately. btw. it’s this guy.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

do you have any resources on writing about pregnancy? thanks!

Writing Notes: Pregnancy

No two pregnancies are the same.

Some women have few or mild symptoms during pregnancy.

Many women work their full term and travel while they are pregnant.

Others may have to cut back on their hours or stop working.

Some women require bed rest for a few days or possibly weeks to continue with a healthy pregnancy.

A pregnancy is divided into 3 stages.

These are called trimesters.

Each trimester has its own major milestones.

The first trimester is the most fragile period.

It's when all major organs and systems are formed.

Most birth defects and miscarriages happen during the first trimester.

In the second and third trimester, the fetus is fully formed and grows and matures rapidly.

The trimesters are divided as follows:

First trimester is 0 to 12 weeks.

Second trimester is 13 to 28 weeks.

Third trimester is 29 to 40 weeks.

Some experts use the 42-weeks method divided by 3 trimesters:

The first trimester is 0 to 12 weeks.

The second trimester is 13 to 27 weeks.

The third trimester is 28 to 42 weeks.

Early Signs & Symptoms of Pregnancy

The earliest sign of pregnancy is a missed period for women who have a regular monthly menstrual cycle.

Sometimes, implantation bleeding can occur. This is a bleed very similar to a light period or spotting. Though this is completely normal, you should check with your health-care provider if you experience any bleeding during your pregnancy.

You may also begin experiencing a handful of the symptoms below early on in your pregnancy such as fatigue, nausea or more frequent urination.

Common Pregnancy Symptoms

Morning sickness (nausea or vomiting)

Breast tenderness

Extreme changes in mood

Backaches, leg pain, and other aches and pains

Fatigue

Weight gain or loss

Headaches

Problems sleeping

Problems with urination

Skin and hair changes

Vaginal bleeding in early pregnancy

Vaginal discharge

Constipation

Heartburn

Nosebleeds and bleeding gums

Swelling, varicose veins, and hemorrhoids

Breathing problems

Lower back and pelvic pain

Foot and ankle swelling

Food cravings or food aversions (some foods taste awful)

Read details of these symptoms here.

Second Trimester. While no two pregnancies are the same, some symptoms you may experience during your second trimester include:

Carpal tunnel syndrome — numbness, tingling or weakness in your hand

A line on your skin running from your belly button to your pubic hairline

Patches of darker skin on your face

Lower back and pelvic pain

Darkening areola

Stretch marks along your breasts, abdomen, buttocks and thighs

Third Trimester. While no two pregnancies are the same, some symptoms you may experience during your third trimester include:

Acid reflux (heartburn)

Haemorrhoids

Shortness of breath

Breast tenderness

Protruding belly button

Difficulty sleeping

Swelling in your fingers, face and ankles

Braxton Hicks (false contractions). During your third trimester, you will also experience contractions, which can be a sign of real or false labour. “False labour” pains are called Braxton Hicks and are your body’s way of preparing you for actual labour. They may feel similar to menstrual cramps or a tightening in the abdomen.

There is no medical treatment for Braxton Hicks, but there are some things you can due to ease discomfort, including:

Drinking water

Changing your position (if you are lying down, try going for a walk, and vice versa)

Relaxing by taking a nap, reading a book or listening to calming music

If these do not lessen the pain and if you notice your contractions becoming more frequent or intense, contact your health-care provider.

Multiple Pregnancy

A multiple pregnancy is a pregnancy with 2 or more babies. Some names for these are:

Twins for 2 babies

Triplets for 3 babies

Quadruplets for 4 babies

Quintuplets for 5 babies

Sextuplets for 6 babies

Septuplets for 7 babies

Multiples make up only about 3 in 100 births, but the multiple birth rate is rising. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the twin birth rate has risen 70% since 1980. It is now 32.6 per 1,000 live births. The birth rate for triplets and other higher-order multiples rose dramatically. But it has slowed since 1998.

Symptoms of Multiple Pregnancy. Women who are pregnant with multiples may have more severe morning sickness or breast tenderness than women who are pregnant with a single fetus. They also may gain weight more quickly. Most multiple pregnancies are discovered during an ultrasound exam.

Common Complication. The most common complication of multiple pregnancy is preterm birth. More than one half of all twins are born preterm. Triplets and more are almost always born preterm.

Preterm: Less than 37 weeks of pregnancy.

Each woman may have slightly different symptoms. But the most common symptoms of multiple pregnancy are:

Uterus is larger than expected for the dates in pregnancy

More morning sickness

Greater appetite

Too much weight gain, especially in early pregnancy

Babies' movements felt in different parts of the stomach at the same time

Going into Labour

Most women give birth between 38 and 41 weeks of pregnancy, but there is no way to know the exact moment you will go into labour.

When labour begins, the cervix dilates and the muscles of the uterus begin to contract at regular intervals and will get closer together over time.

Contractions will feel similar to menstrual cramps, but more intense.

As your uterus contracts, you may feel pain in your back or pelvis and your abdomen will become hard.

When your uterus relaxes, your abdomen will become soft again.

In addition to contractions, some other signs that labour is beginning include:

Lightening (the sensation that the fetus has dropped lower)

Loss of the mucus plug (you will notice an increase in clear or pink discharge)

Water breaking (rupture of membranes)

It is important to note that you might not notice some of these changes before labour begins. If you think you are in labour, contact your health-care provider.

Possible Pregnancy Complications

Common complications include:

Diabetes during pregnancy (gestational diabetes)

High blood pressure during pregnancy (preeclampsia)

Premature or preterm changes in the cervix

Problems with the placenta. It may cover the cervix, pull away from the womb, or not work as well as it should

Vaginal bleeding

Early labor

Your baby is not growing well

Your baby has medical problems

It can be scary to think about possible problems. But it is important to be aware so you can tell your provider if you notice unusual symptoms.

Foods to Avoid During Pregnancy

Unpasteurized milk and foods made with unpasteurized milk (soft cheeses, including feta, queso blanco and fresco, Camembert, brie or blue-veined cheeses—unless labeled “made with pasteurized milk")

Hot dogs and luncheon meats (unless they are heated until steaming hot before serving)

Raw and undercooked seafood, eggs and meat. Do not eat sushi made with raw fish (cooked sushi is safe).

Refrigerated pâté and meat spreads

Refrigerated smoked seafood

Guidelines for Safe Food Handling

Follow these general food safety guidelines when handling and cooking food:

Wash. Rinse all raw produce thoroughly under running tap water before eating, cutting or cooking.

Clean. Wash your hands, knives, countertops and cutting boards after handling and preparing uncooked foods.

Cook. Cook beef, pork or poultry to a safe internal temperature verified by a food thermometer.

Chill. Promptly refrigerate all perishable food.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Pregnancy Slideshow ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

You can find more information I wasn't able to include here in the links above. Hope this helps with your writing!

[moody-alcoholic]

These Violent Delights

Chapter 12 - Revelations

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe 5.2k words. The truth is coming out grab your popcorn.

CW: a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes (scenting, heats, scuffing), Pregnancy, talks about termination of pregnancy, abortion discussion, use of weapons, blackmail, mentions of bombs, all my homies hate Graves, language, angst, lots of crying - all hurt no comfort, mentions of past abuse, mentions of past SA, lots of guilt, mentions of suicide.

Previous - masterlist - next

AO3

Enjoy <3

Tears are streaming down your face when John walks into the room. His eyes go wide and he strides over to you. You’re not even trying to hide your scent anymore. Your arms shake as you throw yourself around him, sobbing into his chest. 

“Hey, what is it?” he asks before looking back at Dr. Piper. She waits for a moment, seeing if you will calm down and tell him. 

“There’s no easy way to do this,” she starts, turning around and picking the test up. “She’s pregnant.” You hold your breath as you wait for John to take the news in. 

“She’s on birth control,” John says, shaking his head. You let out a sob. He breaks away from you and it makes your heart ache. 

“Yes she is,” Dr. Piper sighs. 

“Dr. Miller,” you breathe. 

“What?” Dr. Piper asks.

“He was giving me injections. Before my heat, for the hormone blocker,” you say between sobs. John looks at Dr. Piper.

“Why would he need to give you injections for Simon’s hormone blocker?” she says. You can hear anger rising in her voice. Dr. Piper doesn’t get angry, you’ve barely heard her raise her voice. You feel guilt hit you as you sniffle. John moves in front of you pulling your chin up to look at him. 

“Look at me,” he says, his voice low and commanding. You swallow the sob catching in your throat, looking in his eyes.

“You need to tell Dr. Montgomery everything Dr. Miller did to you.” You nod looking back down at your knees. You can hear the disappointment in his voice. His hands leave you again, and you feel like you’re drifting further away from him.

“What about the pregnancy?” John asks in a lower voice. Dr. Piper sighs. 

“We don’t even know if a pregnancy could even be viable. Her entire reproductive system has been changed due to the chemical, just like how you guys can all knot.” 

“So what do we do?” 

“I will order the medication for a medical termination. The fetus is only two weeks along. It can be terminated with medication.” You feel sick, your hand pressing on your abdomen. You don’t want a baby, not now. You’ve completed your job though, you’ve been a good omega. It’s your only goal, to birth more alphas and omegas.  

John lets out a long sigh as he moves away from you. Maybe he thinks you’re disgusting now. Maybe he doesn’t want to be with you again. You deserve this. Dr. Piper is right.  Why did you need injections for Simon’s hormone blocker? John turns back to look at you, his fists clenched, and dread comes over you. Maybe he’s going to hit you. You deserve that much. He turns to look at you, his hand coming up. 

You close your eyes preparing for the strike. 

His hand lands on your cheek, his thumb rubbing it. You open your eyes letting out the breath you’ve been holding. You look up in John’s eyes. He looks sad. He’s not going to hurt you; he’s never hurt you before. You swallow the lump in your throat. He lets his hand drop and heads for the door. 

“What are you going to do John?” Dr. Piper asks. 

“We’re going to find Dr. Miller,” he says, turning back quickly and then leaving the room.

John’s heart is thumping hard in his chest as he makes his way down the stairs. You’re pregnant. Clearly this is no accident. Dr. Montgomery seemingly already has her suspicions. Dr. Miller has been up to more than just forcing your heat.

“Everything alright sir? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Soap chuckles nudging Ghost. John walks over to them without saying a word. He stands for a few seconds then rests his hands on his hips. 

“Is this place clear?” he asks eventually. Everyone looks a little confused looking around each other.

“What do you mean?” Soap asks. 

“Bugs, is the place clear of bugs,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady. He can smell his own anger in the air. 

“Yeah it’s clear,” Gaz says, taking a step towards him. He can smell Gaz trying to calm him. John starts to pace, wondering how he can explain it, if he should tell them about the pregnancy. 

“What’s wrong John?” Laswell asks, standing up from the desk. 

“We need to know what Dr. Miller has done to her,” he says. He looks around at them all. He’s not going to tell them about the pregnancy, not yet. 

“Ghost, Soap, go back to his room, strip the place. I’ll stay with Laswell and Dr. Montgomery to find out whatever we can. Gaz, when the doctor’s done you’re to stick with the omega. From now on one of us will be with her at all times. Understood?” he says. The chorus of ‘yes sirs’ comes back to him as he looks round the room. Soap and Ghost leave. Hopefully they can find something. 

“What are we going to tell Shepherd?” Gaz asks, coming to stand next to him. 

“Let me worry about that. You focus on your job, which is making sure the omega never leaves your sight. Keep her in the barracks, I'll get someone to pick up dinner for you both,” Price says.

“Is she alright?” Gaz asks. John folds his arms looking over at him. He wants to tell him, the thought of it swimming around in his head. If not just to have someone else know. But the less people who know, the better.  

“When we know what he’s done to her we’ll have a better idea. She’s okay,” he says. Gaz nods and follows him over to Laswell. It’s not long before you’re coming down the steps with Dr. Montgomery behind you. Your face is still puffy but you’re not crying anymore. You walk straight over to him with the doctor's hands on your shoulders. You won’t meet his eyeline. You won’t even look at him. He can sense your guilt, let alone smell it.

Dr. Montgomery won’t protect your scent, it's not her job anymore. Gaz walks round and your head pops up to see him. Price can smell his nervousness. Gaz isn’t stupid, he knows somethings wrong but he doesn’t push anything, throwing his arm over your shoulders and turning to walk you to the exit.

“I can watch her,” Dr. Montgomery says. Price shakes his head.

“Need you to help us with Dr. Miller,” he says, gesturing for her to come over and sit with Laswell. Price watches you leave with Gaz. He can’t tell if he feels disappointed or mad. He’s not mad at you, he’s mad at himself. At Dr. Montgomery. They were all supposed to keep you safe and they failed. 

Now he has to deal with the consequences. John stands behind them as Laswell types on her laptop. She has access to the CIA’s database which should help make things easier. It doesn’t take her long to find out Conor Miller was a fake name. It came back to a man who was found dead, a suspected suicide. So they have the identity he took, but they still don’t have his name. 

It’s not long before Soap comes back with a laptop, he puts it down in front of Laswell.

“Found it hidden behind a wall panel,” he says. “LT’s still scrubbing the place.” 

Price nods as he looks over at Laswell opening the laptop. 

“How long do you think it’ll take to get in?” Soap asks. 

“Few hours to bruteforce it probably,” she sighs. Ghost walks through the door next slamming a notebook on the table. Dr. Montgomery picks it up, opening it to the first page, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up and unfolds it. She reads it. Price moves over so he can get a better look.

“ Fuck, ” she says under her breath as she finishes reading. 

“What is it?” Soap asks. 

“I know who he is. Dr. Miles Ashford. Hale's personal bitch.” Dr. Montgomary stands up pushing her chair back. Laswell types the new name into her program.

“How did you not recognize him?” Ghost asks. 

“He’s the perfect plant. I think over all the years I worked for Hale, I’ve only ever seen him once, maybe twice.” She runs her hand through her hair. “He would be Hale’s man on the surface taking care of his estate so Hale could stay in the bunker for months at a time.” 

“So he and Hale were close?” Soap asks.

“I guess so. Hale didn’t trust anyone but he kept Ashford around, even when it turned out he was an alpha. I’m pretty sure he’s the only alpha he kept alive.” She explains. John is about to open his mouth to speak when the door to the lab crashes open.

“What the hell is going on!?” Shepherd shouts as she strides across the room over to them. 

Shit.

“Price, I let you do your own thing and now I'm learning you’re tearing the base apart?” he asks, stopping in front of Price.

“We have a situation, and we’re investigating,” Price says, standing his ground.

“And when were you planning on telling me what’s going on?” 

“When we had more concrete information,” Price responds. Laswell stands up from her chair to come to stand next to him. 

“What’s happening then?” he asks.

“The omega was attacked. It turns out Professor Hale planted a scientist,” John explains.

“Attacked how?” Shepherd asks. 

“She was injected with a drug that forced her heat,” Dr. Montgomery explains. Shepherd crosses his arms as he takes in the information. 

“Is she okay?” he asks.

“She’s okay, she-” 

“She’s pregnant,” John interrupts her. There’s silence in the room. John keeps his focus on Shepherd. He clears his throat. 

“It was my understanding she was on birth control.” 

“She is. I suspect this has been going on for a while and someone has given her contraceptive suppressants,” Dr. Montgomery says. It makes the hairs on the back of Price’s neck stand up. This has been going on for a while. You never said anything, and they never caught it. Now look at the mess they’re in. 

“We have a name. Dr. Miles Ashford. He’s Hale’s personal assistant. He stole an identity, that’s how he managed to stay under the radar. According to Dr. Montgomery, he would mostly work above ground outside of the lab. Hence the reason no one recognized him,” Laswell explains. “I have put it all in the report.” 

“Well, I assume plans have already been made to deal with this?” he asks. Dr. Montgomery nods. “How could this happen? I thought you ran a pretty tight ship in this lab. Now you’re saying Professor Hale managed to plant someone in here?” 

“You were the one who set out the rules, I followed. It’s not exactly the type of work someone wants in their resume, the whole thing is based on trust,” Dr. Montgomery says. John can hear the spite in her voice. 

“Where is he now?” Shepherd asks.

“We assume back with Hale,” John says. “He went MIA a few days ago.”

“You’ve put all this in the report?” he asks, looking at Laswell.

“Of course. We’re still working on gathering all the information,” she says.

“I’ll get Graves to send out a search party, maybe they can find something,” Shepherd says. John nods. “When will the report be done?” 

“By the end of the day I’ll send what we have,” Laswell says. Shepherd puts his arms back down at his side, and he looks round the room. 

“I’ll set up a meeting for tomorrow morning.” He nods at John then turns, heading to leave. As soon as the door is shut behind him John turns around, everyone’s eyes on him. 

“She’s pregnant?” Soap asks first. John nods.

“What’s going to happen?” Ghost asks next, his arms crossed. 

“Termination. We don’t know if the pregnancy is even really viable,” Dr. Montgomery says.

“What does she think?” Soap asks. There’s silence again.  

“She’s scared, confused. She feels guilty,” Dr. Montgomery says. There’s an edge of something in her voice. She sounds almost annoyed. John can see Ghost’s eyes burning into her, he has that look in his eyes. The one he gets when he doesn’t trust someone. Price will have to talk to him later. 

“We’re all to blame here. We all let her down. Now it’s our job to fix it. Then we go after Hale,” John says. Ghost’s eyes move back to John. John nods at him.

It’s going to be okay. Keep your head straight. 

Ghost sighs, blinking then turning to Laswell.

Fine.

John looks back at Dr. Montgomery. 

“Let’s get back to work,” he says, crossing his arms and watching everyone move. Soap and Ghost leave again slamming the door behind them. John pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s going to be a long day. 

Johnny switched with Kyle a few hours later. Kate had tried to show them how Kyle connected the cameras and microphones up so they could decode them but it was like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. After a while she got frustrated and John sent for Kyle. 

“How is she?” Piper asks.

“Sleeping,” Kyle says, going over to help John. That’s good, you need to rest after your heat. As long as you’re resting, you’re calm. 

Kyle seems to have a knack for computers, and he knows his way around them. He managed to pull some audio files from the microphones he started decoding yesterday. Nothing of use though, just generic conversations. It could take days to decode the rest and go through them. 

Kate managed to get into Ashford’s laptop quicker than she thought. Piper had been sat down going through everything, mainly just research on things she had asked him to work on. She was working her way through the documents from the oldest first. She straightens up in the chair as she reads through a document dated before your heat. 

“ Shit, ” she says reading the document. It confirms what she already suspected: contraceptive suppressants. She knew deep down this was always Hale’s plan. To have a ‘pure’ omega. He wanted to get you pregnant so you could give birth to what Hale considered a ‘purebred’ omega. Guess he didn’t care if it was him who got you pregnant or not. 

The only reason you’re on birth control in the first place was because he would invite his friends to fuck you while you were in heat. Piper slams the lid of the laptop down, getting up and going into her office, slamming the door behind her. 

She’s angry but she shouldn’t be. This is her fault. She should have known, she should have been paying closer attention. There’s a knock on the door. 

She swallows the tears, wiping her eyes. She doesn’t deserve to cry. The only one who’s suffered here is you. It’s always you who suffers. She clears her throat and opens the door.  

“Found something?” John asks. She nods, standing to the side so he can walk in. She closes the door behind her. 

“He was giving her contraceptive suppressants,” she sighs, managing to keep her voice steady. 

“Any long term effects?” he asks. 

“No, it should be passed through her system already,” she says.

“Anything else?” he asks. She shakes her head; she hasn’t found anything yet. He sighs, nodding.

“I’m sorry I let this happen,” she says. Now is the time to apologize. 

“It’s not just your fault. She’s our responsibility too.” 

“I should have known not to trust any alpha that was still alive. It’s so obvious. Hale made a habit of killing alphas,” she sighs. 

“Yeah well hindsight is 20/20. You can’t blame yourself,” he says. She looks up at him. “You’re helping now, you’re fixing your mistakes, and that's what matters.” 

“You can be angry,” she says.

“You’re not solely to blame. You can’t take it all on your shoulders. We’re going to get through this. We need to work together,” he says, taking a step towards her. 

“She’s never going to be safe John, not until Hale is dead.” 

“I know. We’re going to get him. I promise,” he says. She smiles; she believes him. 

“Chin up. She’s going to need your support. She’s going to need you more than ever over the next few days.” 

“You’re her pack, she will always need you more than me.” 

“Which is why it’s important we work together.” He pats her shoulder and she smiles at him. 

“Keep looking. Let me know if you find anything else,” he says, leaving the room. She lets out a breath as she’s left alone. She knows he’s right, but it’s not going to change her mind though. She’s always going to blame herself.

Piper is alone in her lab for the first time in what feels like forever. She sits down at her desk. Her computer is gone. John had Kyle search it. She had nothing to hide, so it didn't take him long to clear all the computers in the lab. It was only Dr. Ashford’s hidden laptop that had anything. 

John told her she should come and eat with them. She’s not hungry though. They said they were done for the day but she can’t relax yet. She just needs a few minutes alone. She should have never trusted anyone. She should have known something was up. Dr. Ashford really was the perfect person for Hale to slip in. She should have known something was wrong when an alpha came forward. 

She remembers the culling, remembers you being forced to watch. The smell of blood in the air, your fear, the nightmares. It went on for weeks, months. Hale killed them all, apart from Ashford. He needed someone on the ground. According to Kate the person who’s identity he took had a family, wife, and kids. His death was ruled a suicide, but they all knew better now. 

She sighs, letting the guilt eat at her. She put your life at risk and she didn’t even know it. They don’t even know what he had been up to other than the contraceptive blocker. She gave you a full check and couldn’t find anything. She is just hoping it's nothing too serious, and now with you being watched 24/7 and Dr. Ashford presumably with Hale, you should be safe. 

She shakes her head leaning back in her chair looking up at the ceiling. You’re never going to be safe until Hale is dead.

She’s not sure what is going to happen next. She hasn’t been privy to John’s plan. All she knows is they’re stuck here for now. General Shepherd seemed to understand the gravity of the situation but he blamed John. It’s her fault too. She has to take some of the blame. Commander Graves has been busy, so he hasn’t been around which is good because you’re scared of him. The calmer they keep you, the better. 

The sound of the door opening makes her jump. She looks out her open office door, and she can smell alpha in the air. She looks at the time. It’s late and she smiles. It must be Simon. She could use a chat with him right now, even if he does seem mad at her. She doesn’t care if he just wants to remind her how much of a horrible person she is. She could use his company. 

Suddenly, she sits up straight in her chair, the hairs standing up on the back of her neck. Simon wouldn’t have let the door slam, and she wouldn’t be able to smell Simon. He hides his scent so well. She stands up as the figure walks into her doorway.

“Don’t move,” Ashford says, aiming a pistol at her. She holds her hands up, lowering back down into her chair. His alpha is strong in the air. Fear too. He’s not used to this. 

“I could scream. People would come running,” she says letting the adrenaline fill her with confidence.

“Then both you and the omega would be dead,” he says walking into her office, closing the door behind him. She swallows the lump away. She can’t let him know she’s scared. She has to use everything to her advantage.  

“What are you doing here? I thought you would have been back with Hale by now,” she says. His hand is shaking slightly. He’s not comfortable with a weapon in his hands, he doesn’t look comfortable doing this at all. Maybe she can use that to her advantage. 

“I can’t leave without the omega,” he says. 

“Right, well I’ll just go get her then,” Piper says, throwing her hands up and standing up.

“Sit down,” he says, his voice louder this time, more commanding. His alpha is stronger, the ground after rain and blood, just like the Professor. Iron thick in the air, her nostrils flare as she breathes it in. She always associated it with blood. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of her neck and she sits back down. 

“You’re going to bring her,” he says as a matter of fact. Piper scoffs, shaking her head. 

“Why do you think I would do that?” she asks, crossing her arms. 

“I assume you figured out about the suppressants, the drugging?” he asks. She nods, where was this going?

“Well, there’s a tracker in her neck,” he says, watching her face for a reaction. She keeps her expression neutral. She doesn’t want to give him anything. She feels sick. Of course Hale would find a way to get a tracker in you. Yet another way she let you down. She swallows the guilt away. She can’t let him know what she thinks. 

“You have 24 hours to get her. There’s a truck, parked in the lot. It’s the only one with a yellow stripe on the back left tire. The door will open with the keys under the driver's seat. Drive out the west exit, and tell the guard you have a special transport for Ashford, they’ll let you through. Drive 2 miles west until you hit a bent stop sign. Stop at the sign and get into the passenger seat. I’ll meet you there,” he says. She looks at him confused, she shakes her head.

“You’re crazy, seriously fucked up if you think I’m helping you,” she spits, leaning forward in her chair. 

“Look, I didn’t expect you to help. In addition to the tracker there’s a bomb in her hip,” he says, shrugging. Piper’s holding her breath. She can’t help it, nerves slip through. He's lying, he has to be.

“If you tell anyone or fail to follow the instructions, then I'll set it off.” 

“You’d kill her, and what would that achieve? Throw away all of Hale’s work for nothing.” 

“I know I won’t ever have to do it. I know you’re going to follow the instructions and bring her,” he says smiling. It makes her feel sick. He has to be lying, for your sake he has to be. 

“What makes you think I’m going to help you?” she says, sighing and shaking her head.

“Because you love her, and I don’t think you want to see her harmed,”  he says, the smile still on his face. He’s not wrong, but bringing you back to Hale, it would be a death sentence. He might as well kill you. 

“How about you take the rest of the night to think about it. You have until this time tomorrow.” 

“What if I just tell Captain Price, or General Shepherd about this?” 

“You found all the cameras in the lab right?” he asks.

“Maybe.” 

“There are others, ones you’ll probably never find. Besides, she has the tracker in her, we’ll know where she is at all times. Oh and the people paying Shadow Company? Professor Hale is footing half the bill. It’s probably best if you follow the instructions,” he sighs. She can tell he wants to get out of here. 

Hale is paying Shadow Company. That's how he managed to get back in the base. He’s starting to get fidgety. Maybe she can stall him, keep him here until someone comes looking for her.

“Why are you telling me all this? Why not just kill me? Get the omega yourself?” She asks. 

“And go up against her pack? They’ll tear me to shreds. They trust you, and she trusts you. She’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. Of course you can ignore the instructions and she’ll die. You can tell them and she’ll die. It’s your choice,” he says, shrugging. Not much of a choice. 

“What about me?” she asks. 

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I'm sure Professor Hale is looking forward to seeing you again though. He asked for you alive,” he says backing up to the door. He wants to leave. She can’t let him.

“How did you even get back in here? There are soldiers everywhere.” Fuck. He already explained this. She’s panicking trying to stall him.

“Have you not been listening?” he laughs. “They work for Hale! I’m on a first name basis with half the staff here.” 

“Why not just get Shadow Company to take her then?” she asks. He sighs like he’s getting bored of her questions.

“I’d rather skip the bloodshed. Graves too, he cares about his company's image.” 

“You really are a horrible person,” she says as he opens the door without taking his weapon off her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, yellow mark on the wheel, bent stop sign.” He smiles walking out the door. She sits there for a second, not quite believing what just happened. 

Move! 

She springs up out of the seat. She should chase him. He only has a pistol. She’s sprinting out the door turning to the exit of the lab. It’s dark and starting to rain as she frantically looks around. It’s like he’s vanished into thin air. 

She’s failed again. 

She wants to scream. Instead she balls her hands into fists letting her nails dig into her hand. She looks around for any kind of movement, but there are so many buildings, he could have easily slipped into any of them. She should tell John. He’d start a search and probably find him before he had a chance to leave. 

She can’t though. She remembers the bomb inside you. She wishes it was fake and he was bluffing. She remembers Hale working on that technology; he had managed to get it to the size of a pill you could swallow. There were a lot of gruesome deaths from that. 

She should have fought him. He only had a pistol. She should have risked it.  

If she died, he wouldn’t be able to get to the omega. Your pack would keep you safe.

Stupid. Pathetic. She’s let you down again.

She walks back into the lab. There’s a tracker in your neck. A bomb in your hip. Piper goes into her office, closing the door behind her and sinking to the ground. Her body is shaking now as the adrenaline wears off. 

She can’t let you die. She doesn’t have a choice. She sobs into her hands. 

She just hopes you’ll forgive her.

It’s early in the morning when Dr. Piper wakes you by shaking your shoulder. You blink awake. It’s only just turning light out. 

“Morning,” she says. She looks distracted by something. She’s never woken you like this before. You smile at her sitting up. She goes to pick up your slippers. 

“Come on, I need to check something,” she says. You nod, pulling your slippers on as you follow her out the room. She seems nervous, like she’s in a rush. It must be something important. The sun is just coming up, the fog settling across the fields and the tops of the trees. You like that. You breathe in the fresh scent of pine before you get into the lab. 

The place seems like it’s even more of a mess than you remember. You follow her straight upstairs. The only room that seems to be in order is the medical room. There’s a new machine in here now. 

“Hop up on the bed,” she says, sitting down on a stool and going over to the machine. You nod, getting up on the bed and laying back. You watch as Dr. Piper moves closer to you. She seems fidgety, and it's making you nervous. 

“What’s that for?” you ask as she pulls your shirt up to your chest. 

“Ultrasound. It lets me see inside you,” she says, keeping her answer short. 

“So you can see the—” You don’t know what to say, fetus? Baby sounds wrong. According to Dr. Piper it’s no bigger than a seed. Pregnancies move quicker than normal for omegas. If you were to keep it, you would only be waiting around 4 months.  

“It’s only a week or so along, so there won’t be much to see,” she says. You nod, watching her fiddle with the machine. She squirts something on your skin. It's cold and it makes you gasp. 

“Sorry,” she says before reaching over and bringing some kind of weird looking scanner to your abdomen. You expect it to hurt but it doesn't. Dr. Piper looks focused on the screen you can’t see, frowning as she presses buttons now and then. She stays silent moving the device round your lower body. 

“Can you see it?” you ask after a few seconds of silence. She looks back at you for a second, she nods. 

“Can I see it?” you ask. She shakes her head.

“There’s not much to see, I’m checking everything is in order before the termination.” You sigh, nodding. You don’t want a baby right now, and you know John definitely doesn’t. It’s no one's fault, only Dr. Miller—well Dr. Anderson—and he’s gone now. You still didn’t understand who he was. You’d never met him. You didn’t even know Professor Hale had an assistant. She moves the device around to your hips looking up your sides before finishing up on your stomach. 

She sighs, putting the scanner back in its slot and looking over at you smiling. You smile back sitting up as she wipes the gel off your stomach. 

“Does everything look good?” you ask, pulling your shirt back down. She doesn’t say anything, just pushes the ultrasound machine away before standing up off the chair. 

“Do you trust me?” she asks suddenly. You look at her confused as you get off the bed. 

“Of course I trust you,” you say. You can smell her scent calming you in the air. It makes you relax but you can tell there is something going on. Hairs stand up on the back of your neck as she takes a step closer to you.

“What’s going on?” you ask. “Is there something wrong?” Your hands press on your stomach. She shakes her head, one of her hands landing on your shoulder. 

“You’re going to have to be brave okay?” 

You nod. You’re not sure why suddenly fear rises in you. She pulls you into her arms. You can smell her. She smells good, safe. Of course you trust her. You close your eyes, hugging her back.

It happens quickly her cold hand moves up to the back of your neck, before you can react she digs her nails into the sensitive skin. You yelp as pain shoots down your spine. Your hands fly up instinctively to pull her hand away but she squeezes tighter. You feel like you can’t breathe. You won’t have long left, a few seconds maybe. 

“Why?” leaves your lips your own voice sounding foreign in your ears. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says. You see tears running down her face. Your vision goes fuzzy, and your body goes limp. You try to hold on but you can't. The last thing you remember is Dr. Piper lowering you to the floor.

Next

Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui

Beta reader and editor - rememberwren

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

But once the babies are here, the state provides little help.

When she got pregnant, Mayron Michelle Hollis was clinging to stability.

At 31, she was three years sober, after first getting introduced to drugs at 12. She had just had a baby three months earlier and was working to repair the damage that her addiction had caused her family.

The state of Tennessee had taken away three of her children, and she was fighting to keep her infant daughter, Zooey. Department of Children’s Services investigators had accused Mayron of endangering Zooey when she visited a vape store and left the baby in a car.

Her husband, Chris Hollis, was also in recovery.

The two worked in physically demanding jobs that paid just enough to cover rent, food and lawyers’ fees to fight the state for custody of Mayron’s children.

In the midst of the turmoil in July 2022, they learned Mayron was pregnant again. But this time, doctors warned she and her fetus might not survive.

The embryo had been implanted in scar tissue from her recent cesarean section. There was a high chance that the embryo could rupture, blowing open her uterus and killing her, or that she could bleed to death during delivery. The baby could come months early and face serious medical risks, or even die.

But the Supreme Court had just overturned Roe v. Wade, which guaranteed the right to abortion across the United States. By the time Mayron decided to end her pregnancy, Tennessee’s abortion ban — one of the nation’s strictest — had gone into effect.

The total ban made no explicit exceptions — not even to save the life of a pregnant patient. Any doctor who violated the ban could be charged with a felony.

Women with means could leave the state. But those like Mayron, with limited resources or lives entangled with the child welfare and criminal justice systems, would be the most likely to face caring for a child they weren’t prepared for.

And so, the same state that questioned Mayron’s fitness to care for her four children forced her to continue a pregnancy that risked her life to have a fifth, one that would require more intensive care than any of the others.

Tennessee already had some of the worst outcomes in the nation when measuring maternal health, infant mortality and child poverty. Lawmakers who paved the way for a new generation of post-Roe births did little to bolster the state’s meager safety net to support these babies and their families.

In December 2022, when Mayron was 26 weeks and two days pregnant, she was rushed to the hospital after she began bleeding so heavily that her husband slipped in her blood. An emergency surgery saved her life. Her daughter, Elayna, was born three months early.

Afterward, photographer Stacy Kranitz and reporter Kavitha Surana followed Mayron and her family for a year to chronicle what life truly looked like in a state whose political leaders say they are pro-life. [...]

[marimayscarlett]

'Mutter' turns 24 years old today 🎶💿

Today marks the 24th anniversary of the release of the band's third studio album, Mutter. The album's pre-production took place from September to December 1999 at Haus Weimar in Heiligendamm. Since the house was unfurnished, the band first had to fully equip it with furniture and essentials. A total of 13 songs were worked on at Haus Weimar. To keep track of everything, Till pinned his lyric ideas to a wall, and there was also a board with musical concepts and notes about what was still missing in each song. These brainstorming walls served as a daily meeting point for the band.

In May 2000, the band moved to the Miraval Studios in France, though they didn’t begin recording immediately. Instead, they spent another six weeks refining Till’s lyrics.

In the Galaxy Studios in Sweden, they worked with producer Ronald Prent, but ultimately, they were not satisfied with the results. The final choice fell on producer Stefan Glaumann, with whom the band worked in the MVG Studios in Stockholm in the fall of 2000. According to Flake, Glaumann was a skilled producer, but incredibly slow: mixing one song took him five days, after which he needed a two-day break. Alongside the 11 songs on the album, additional tracks were recorded during this period, including Halleluja, 5/4, Ohne Dich, Ein Lied, and Seid bereit.

Over Christmas 2000, Rammstein made Links 2 3 4 available for download on their website. Officially, Sonne (which had the working title Klitschko, after boxer Vitali Klitschko) was released as the first single on February 12, 2001, followed by Links 2 3 4 on May 14.

As part of the album promotion, the band released a CD where each song faded out after three minutes. They also distributed promo sheets featuring a "Rammstein Alphabet" (which can be read on the RammWiki page) and an interview CD with Oliver and Flake (which you can listen to here with an English translation). In this interview, Flake mentioned that the band was so moved by Spieluhr that they couldn’t bear the idea of leaving the child figuratively buried, so they added a final verse where it is dug up again.

The concept of an interview CD was later used again on a grander scale for the Reise, Reise album.

The album was released as a standard CD and vinyl LP, as well as a double CD in the U.S., which included the Sonne music video and the song Halleluja. In Japan, Halleluja appeared as a hidden track, playing only after two minutes of silence.

Directly after the release, Mutter immediately topped the charts in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, remaining at Nr. 1 in Germany for four weeks.

The iconic album cover features a fetus that had been preserved for about 200 years. The imagery sparked outrage from both the German tabloid press and the Catholic Church, and the album's release shortly before Mother's Day in 2001 only fueled the controversy.

The band photoshoot for the album followed a similar aesthetic and was created by artist couple Daniel & Geo Fuchs. For the shoot, the band members were hooked by their feet to a weight at the bottom of a Plexiglas tank and tethered with a lead belt. According to Flake, the tank began to stink over time - thanks to apparently the band farting in the water.

The Mutter tour ran from May 13, 2001, to July 13, 2002. Staying true to the album’s title, the band staged their entrance by emerging from a uterus and performed in diaper-like loincloths.

Here's the promotional picture of the band for this tour as well as the tour poster:

Some album facts:

It’s unknown which song it was, but there’s an urban legend that Till had to write 24 different lyric versions of one track before the band was satisfied.

Richard’s well-known tendency for control reached new extremes during this album’s production, making collaboration within the band increasingly difficult. This period is often described as a near breaking point for the band, as his behavior led to significant internal conflicts. Schneider commented on this, saying:

“Richard tried to lead the band, and that reached the point where we couldn’t stand it anymore. He was trying to control everything, he didn’t want to have anybody change anything that came from his word, and that was a tricky time.”

On April 16 2000, almost a year before the album’s release, the band performed a fan club concert at the Knaack Club, where they played nine of the eleven Mutter songs.

The Ich will music video was released on September 10, 2001, but was almost entirely overshadowed by the events of the following day.

After shooting the Sonne video, the band immediately boarded a flight to Australia. According to Flake, they had no time to clean themselves up:

"The flight attendants on the plane were a bit surprised by us; they probably never had such dirty passengers on board. The headrests were pitch black because our hair looked like we’d just gotten out of a mine. Fortunately, the flight attendants were forgiving when they found out why. We transferred in Los Angeles and took another flight with an American company, to whom we couldn’t explain so easily how we got our dirty faces.”

Some voices on the musical direction of the Album:

Schneider:

"The main thing about the new album is we didn’t want to make another Sehnsucht. We wanted to get away from the techno style, from the dance-oriented style. We wanted to sound more natural, more like a rock band. So we focused more on live drums, we experimented with acoustic guitars, and also tried to find innovative guitar sounds. And we used an orchestra for the first time.”

Paul:

"On our first and second albums, we were very dependent on samplers and computerized music machinery, even to write the songs. And with Mutter, we really based the songs on the guitar and are only using technology to enhance it, to give it flavor. So we didn’t want to be slaves to the machines anymore.”

Sources: rammwiki | radiobob | loudersound | morecore | affenknecht | kerrang

[farfromstrange]

To my American mutuals.

To those of you who voted Blue and spent the entire election in a state of fear, fearing this would happen, hoping that it wouldn’t, and now feel like their world is falling apart.

To those of you who were hoping the next person in power would be someone determined to protect your rights—your reproductive rights, your rights to love whoever you want, your rights to marry the one you love, your rights to get gender affirming care, your rights to books, your rights to education, your rights to exist, your rights to flee from war to another country (this particular country) without being deported, your human rights.

To those of you who have been fighting and casting their voice not just for your country but the whole world.

I am so sorry.

I know you must be crushed right now. I know it must be terrifying. As a woman, I am thinking of you. I am hoping for you. If any of you need to talk or just scream into the void, or even cry on someone’s virtual shoulder, my inbox is open. If you have anything you want to share on anon, like resources or whatnot and you don’t know how to share or you can’t, share them with me and I will post them here. It’s important that you stick together now. That you don’t give up. I believe in you.

My heart bleeds for you.

And in light of today’s events, I will not be posting anything else today.

(More under the cut.)

For my fellow women: If (or when) the policies proposed by the winning party are put into effect; if a nationwide abortion ban does happen; if you’re a woman in need of life-saving healthcare, I have a very small apartment in a country where abortions are legal up to 12 weeks after a brief consultation—which is available in English if you go to the right place, and longer if something is wrong with either you or the fetus—and I’d offer you shelter and help in any way I can to get you the healthcare you need. I’m aware this is only an option for those with the financial means. For those without, I would suggest you look up planned parenthood and check their resources.

The same goes for other medical procedures (gender affirming care, for example) that might not be possible for you at some point during the next four years. I am here to help in any way I can.

I’m sorry.

- Lisa

[coochiekrab]

Following on from all the egg questions. Do you think that a marsupial kid born to a plecental mammal fur would come out fully cooked? Or would they still come out as a jelly bean and need to be put in some sort of an external incubator?

Damn it i can’t find my post but babies in the Furryverse are born relative to their precocial/altricial status, though the difference in fetus development isn’t nearly as Stark. All pregnancies are still GENERALLY 9 months at the most, but a lot of parents end up needing induction due to species. A precocial baby is born like 3-4 months “ahead” regardless of birthday, so as soon as they’re born they have no floppy neck and can sit and do Tummy Time. An altricial baby is born 2-4 months “behind” and is basically what we would consider a premie or a super premie, but would actually be full term according to their species. Altricial babies usually spend at least 2 weeks in the nicu on breathing tubes and most would need incubators but some babies could handle just parental body heat. Baby development for both precocial and altricial species evens out by 12-24 months

Nevaeh has a Pouch and Freak Thang would be born at basically 4 months premature (basically the size of a hand) and just hang out in her pouch for a few months. No nipples in there though so she would have to come out to feed. Nevaeh stays at the nicu with Freak Thang on oxygen inside her pouch. Evan could wear a sling pouch with a warmie inside to carry her if he wanted. If Nevaeh had a lynx baby instead it wouldn’t be happy inside the pouch despite being (relatively) 1 month “premature” as well. Too dark too scary (even though they’re still blind……) Evan enters single father era when shes out of the pouch

[secularprolifeconspectus]

Footage of a 12-week fetus reacting to the lethal injection during a selective reduction abortion.

Selective reduction means one or more fetuses from a set of multiple fetuses is killed in utero. The other twins are left to grow while their sibling's body is "digested" (decays/reabsorbed). This is a common practice in IVF.

This footage (and more like it) is available publicly on YouTube from doctors in Asia.

Narration by flower.fetus.416

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Thousands of Brazilians march against bill that equates abortion to homicide

Thousands of Brazilians took to the streets in São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro to protest proposed legislation that equates abortion with homicide and restricts legal abortion to 22 weeks of gestation, including in cases of rape. The proposal was approved last week for urgent discussion in the Chamber of Deputies, Brazil’s lower house.

According to Brazilian law, abortion is currently legal in three circumstances: cases of rape, when the mother’s life is at risk, or when the fetus is anencephalic. The proposed bill aims to limit the period for these abortions to 22 weeks, whereas the current law allows them at any stage of pregnancy.

If an abortion occurs after this 22-week period, the woman could be prosecuted and convicted of murder, with potential sentences ranging from six to 20 years in prison. The crime of rape in Brazil carries a sentence of six to 12 years. This means that a woman convicted of homicide for an abortion — even in rape cases — could receive nearly twice the sentence of the rapist.

The proposal sparked a massive backlash, mainly on social media, but also with protestors gathering in the streets. Social movements and NGOs defending women’s rights came together and launched the “children are not mothers” campaign, with a petition to put pressure on congressmen, which already has more than 343,000 signatures.

Continue reading.

[virgoanmaenad]

Every study I read on abortion done later in pregnancy and the people who get them, the conclusion is always the same: We need better and more free access to abortion at all stages of pregnancy, especially in the first trimester.

There are two reasons people get abortions at or after 24 weeks: Either they couldn’t get an abortion earlier because of insurmountable obstacles (payment, laws, judgement, etc.) or because they fully intended to stay pregnant but scans show there’s something wrong with the fetus and an abortion is the safest and best way to handle it.

The best way to lower third-trimester abortions is make abortion easier to access in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, not harder. Aside from that, scientific advancements in detecting fetal abnormalities earlier are the only other way to prevent an abortion later in pregnancy.

[pidgwin]

The treatment for a missed miscarriage, a miscarriage where the fetus has died but the body hasn’t realised, is abortion. Either through surgery or medication. 

I was told at my 12 week ultrasound that my baby had died 4 weeks before. I have dreamed of becoming a parent for my whole life. Those few weeks I was pregnant were the happiest of my life but the second I knew my baby had died, I felt like the living embodiment of death. I felt like a walking coffin, distinctly inhuman. Dirty down to my very soul.

I was desperate to get the beautiful child I had wished for so dearly out of my body. The 24 hours between my ultrasound and being given abortion medication were some of the hardest of my life. Abortion is healthcare. I cannot even imagine being forced to carry my baby for another moment. I also can’t imagine being forced to carry a fetus, which you do not wish to. To take that right away is disgusting and demonstrates how truly little these people know about the reality of reproductive healthcare. Pro choice always.

[srebrnafh]

Today and tomorrow our Parliament is discussing reproductive rights.

Currently, in Poland, abortion is legally banned, except for a tiny number of cases (risk to woman's life, and criminal origin) and even then, this is questioned, delayed, ignored.

There are now four drafted legal changes on the table:

centrist-right - go back to what used to be called "abortion compromise" which adds to the above, also the fetal health reason (so, if the fetus is terminally malformed, the pregnancy could be terminated; currently THIS IS NOT ALLOWED)

centrist-leftish-somewhat & left-wing - two versions that cover legal, no-reason-needed abortion up to week 12 with certain other reasons for later stages (eg. diagnosed fetal abnormality); these two have huge overlap, with leftist being more liberal in certain aspects

left-wing additional proposal of decriminalisation of help (eg selling abortion pills, providing money for termination abroad etc); which currently is penalised with 3 years of prison, absolute.

And there are also the right-wing fucks who right now spew their "tiny hands" and "beating hearts" and "killing babies" and all this crap. Good thing we have a strict time limit in these cases, or they would drown us in murderous sacharine.

We've marched, and we've screamed and we've voted the cretins out. Now we have a chance to get abortion rights voted into law.

Keep your fingers crossed for Polish women.

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: Read chapter 1 for warnings. This story is over halfway done now!

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock

Chapter 17

[Prev] [Next]

It had taken about five hours for your body to fully pass the miscarriage, and during that time you were transferred into a more private room in the emergency wing where a labor and delivery doctor from the hospital’s maternity ward assisted with the pain management.  Not like you were psychologically there, and neither was Law.  You had repeated your behavior from previously, your mind’s go-to defense mechanism being to completely shut down, forcing your eyes closed in a feeble attempt to crawl out of your skin and escape reality.  The reality being you, sitting on a toilet in the tiny bathroom of the private room, a bedpan under your body and the L&D doctor, who you wouldn’t speak to, occasionally offering shallow words of support as you hunched in pain with each agonizing cramp that washed through you.  Law kept his eyes trained on your face the entire time, every exhausted contortion of your muscles as ripples of cramps waved through you throughout the seemingly endless seconds of your time in the private room.

When Law saw it, what had left your body, his lunch evacuated from his stomach into the nearest garbage can.  Maybe it was the way it looked, or the fact that the doctor from L&D was holding it in a cold metal bedpan of all things, or maybe the stress of it all finally caught up to the jaded heart surgeon and he settled it by losing his stomach contents.  You didn’t look at it, keeping your eyes closed, desperately wishing to be in your bed at home.

It was clearly going to be a human.  All of the early human-like traits were there.  Two arms, two legs, a head, a body, but it was still so far away from actually being a person.  It barely had what could be called skin, if anything its external appearance seemed more like a glass frog, only a fleshy red color and not green.  That is to say, Law could see the beginnings of organs inside the shape that rested in the chamber pot.

Law started to judge the gravity of calling the fetus an ‘it.’  The doctor holding the bedpan said it was going to be a boy, based on what she called the ‘Nub Theory,’ and was about 12 weeks along, before she cleaned you up and took the almost-boy away to be discarded somehow.  Law’s mind flashed back to the young boy in the CICU who had passed away a few months ago, and the mother who was so distraught that she left Law with a bruise that took two full weeks to fully heal.

He wondered if you cried like that in the ambulance when he wasn’t there to help you.

He wondered if you would’ve hit him, too.  No… you would never.  Not even in your most distraught, vulnerable state would you do that.

Law felt his stomach twist once more for even thinking about you in such a way.

But when he looked at the almost-human in the bedpan, he had to remind himself that the fetus was yours.  That would have been your son.  That would have been his son.

And the actions of that mother in the cardiac ward, hearing her son pass away surrounded by nurses, her screams of agony and despair at having to go home without her little boy, suddenly made a lot more sense to Law.

And for the first time since the two of you had started trying for a baby, he started questioning if he was really meant to be a father.

—

“Give me everything that happened,” Law’s pointed glare and monotone words spoke volumes to Ikkaku and Shachi who sat uncomfortably across the small table in the hospital’s cafeteria.  Robin had arrived after her clinic closed to assess your condition, and Law took the brief opportunity to get the details from the two that were with you before he arrived.

“We were eating lunch outside, the group of us,” Ikkaku started.  “Throughout the day she seemed like she was in more pain than usual, but during lunch it seemed to be getting pretty bad.  She went inside to use the bathroom and apparently fainted in the reception area of the office.  We all came back inside when some of our other coworkers were trying to get her to come to, and she started bleeding heavily so we finally called an ambulance.  I tried to call your phone but it went right to voicemail, so I called Shachi to meet us here.”

Law’s posture was eerily still.  “How was the ambulance ride over?”

Ikkaku was clearly growing uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze of her best friend’s husband, but she mustered through her discontent and continued to relay her recent memories.  “She woke up when the ambulance got there, and I think she saw the blood in her pants and started to have a panic attack.  She was refusing to go with the paramedics so they… kinda… manhandled her onto the stretcher.  She was screaming and trying to get away so they tied her down.”  The curly-haired woman used her hands to display a crude image of what she was seeing in her head.  “They strapped down her legs and arms and put her neck in one of those plastic brace things to keep her still, and all of that was before the ambulance even left the parking lot.  She couldn’t even move in the ambulance, but they took off all of her jewelry because they were ‘concerned for her safety.’  I said they were stupid, and they told me to watch my language.”

The black-haired man’s teeth ground against each other in his mouth as he remembered a similar retelling from one of the nurses in your room, the excuse for your wedding ring being missing being out of caution for yourself.  Clearly, the situation was a bit more nuanced, but he didn’t wish to strike up some form of argument with his close friends right now.  Thankfully, your wedding ring had been returned to him a few minutes before you were wheeled to the private room, and was tucked safely in the pocket of Law’s slacks.

Shachi piped up, keeping his voice low.  “When I got here she was still crying and screaming, there was a nurse that came up to her on the stretcher and put her hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet.  I honestly wanted to slap her for that.  I mean, what kind of nurse tells a crying woman to shut up?”

An understandable question indeed.  Law ran an incredibly tight ship in his cardiac ward, with his nurses and fellow doctors being well-rounded individuals who worked incredibly under the high pressure environments in and out of the operating room, and based on what Law had seen and heard throughout the afternoon, he was starting to wonder if his was the only department that behaved somewhat normally.

“Sorry for calling in the middle of a surgery, by the way,” mumbled Shachi, awkwardly rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.  

“Don’t be, you couldn’t have known,” Law replied, his own voice low and pensive.

“Law, are you okay?” Ikkaku asked, reaching her hand across the table and giving a friendly pat to the doctor’s forearm which lay across his side of the table.

The man bowed his head, hiding his clearly bloodshot and exhausted eyes behind the feathery wisps of his black hair.  He could feel his mouth growing dryer by the second, his nose still sore from wiping away the snot caused by his crying, his lips dry and chapped with the way he gnawed on them in the failed attempt to keep his sobs at bay.

“No, I’m not,” was all he said.

Ikkaku and Shachi shared nervous, anxious glances with one another.

The redhead reached his own hand forward now, tapping it gently against the surface of the table in Law’s field of vision.  “Do you want us to bring you anything?  Snacks… water… something to read…”

“No thank you, but if you could go and check on Bepo that would be great,” Law muttered, turning down his friend’s offer faster than he probably should’ve.  “Thank you guys for telling me everything, I’m going to go back to her room.”  He turned his back on his two concerned friends before they had the chance to muster out their goodbyes, hoping that he could hide his face once more to quell the oncoming tears that threatened to fall for a second time.

Law hated crying.  He always hated crying.  Crying left him feeling more exhausted than a 12 hour surgery.  Crying left him feeling weak and defeated, like a dehydrated, shriveling plant that gets left to deteriorate on a scorching windowsill.  Throughout his entire life, he had only truly cried a total of three times.  Once when he lost his family in their house fire.  Twice when his adoptive father figure was murdered before his very eyes.

And three times today, weeping over your form over the baby that was lost.  Again.

The hallways of the main corridor were uncharacteristically empty as Law’s feet dragged his fatigued body down the tiled hallways, his shoes scuffing the floor with each labored step.  He fought desperately to control his breathing, his lungs feeling like they were filling with water, his body fighting for life.  How pathetic he was.  You were the one in pain.  You were the one losing the baby.  So why was he getting so worked up?  Why was he letting himself fall?

In sickness and in health.

“FUCK,” Law lost control of his vocal chords as he shouted into the empty hallway, the only witness to his outburst being the LED lights on the ceiling, illuminating his shame.  He hadn’t consciously registered the way his body contorted, his hand balling into a fist as he drove his limb into the wall next to him, the force of the blow making him grimace.  A sizable dent was left where his knuckles had impacted the drywall, blood beginning to seep from the skin of his tattooed fingers as he let his knees buckle and send him to the floor.  He slumped against the wall, gazing at the back of his hand.

D  E  A  T  H

Law was an edgy undergraduate.  He funneled his trauma, his insecurity, his distaste for life into his studies, drowning himself in textbooks and medical demonstrations, filling the blank spaces in his psyche with music that shared the same disdain for the world as he did.  He littered his skin with marks that spoke to him, the marks of his family and the marks of death.  He didn’t care if the tattoos on his fingers gave him less chances of getting into medical school, he did what felt was right.  He had escaped death more times than a kid ever should have, and the ink in his skin was a testament to that.

You had poked fun at the symbolism on the day you first met him.  A doctor with the word ‘DEATH’ written on his hands was an ironically funny image.  You had said something along the lines of, “I think I would trust my doctor more if he had ‘DEATH’ on his hands.  At least it would make more sense if he happened to kill me.”

Law had scoffed at that.  His tattoos were nothing to joke about.  But he came back to you because of the smile that rested on your lips as you laughed, the way the skin around your eyes creased with your happiness.  You were a magnet pulling him into your embrace.  Suddenly, the blank spaces in his mind previously filled with depressing music were filled with the image of you.  Your smile, your eyes, your bubbly giggle, the alluring smell of your perfume, the way you filled every room with light, the way you brought joy to the lives of your friends, your nerdy talks, your voice as you sang along to his music in the passenger seat of his car…

Hot tears plopped onto the tiled floor, some hitting the skin of his knuckles, making the bleeding wounds sting with the foreign contact as Law remained slumped against the wall, staring blankly at his hands as the wounds on his fist continued to ooze dark red blood.  He missed his mother, his father, his little sister.  He missed the way his mother would wipe his tears away with the sleeve of her shirt, kissing his forehead and ruffling his thick black hair.  He missed the way his sister would cling to him on the playground, relying on her strong older brother for support.  He missed his adoptive dad, the freakishly tall, clumsy, blonde ex-marine reserve who smoked indoors and would leave accidental burn marks on his clothes.  He missed the way his dad would pick Law up like he was weightless, singing praises to the child’s accomplishments, even the most menial.  Law always told you how he wished his family could have met you, how they easily would have adored you for everything you brought into his previously dark life.  He wondered what his family would say to him now, as he sat on the cold floor of the hospital’s main campus, alone, bleeding from his hand.

“They’d be proud of you.”

Law’s golden eyes opened at the sound of the voice coming from in front of him.  Shachi was crouched directly in front of him, a soft smile gracing his crooked mouth as he used his shoulder to support himself against the wall in front of his friend.

“I know you.  You’re thinking about Cora and your family, aren’t you?” he asked, retaining his cheeky personality but flooding his words with an air of unabashed kindness.

Behind him, Ikkaku stood, her own eyes welling with overwhelmed tears, but standing and blocking Law from the lights that shone down on his defeated form.  She too had a small smile on her lips.

Shachi moved to stand upright, grabbing Law’s arm and hauling the taller man to his feet.  Law barely stepped forward to pull his friend into a back-breaking hug, releasing everything he was bottling up into the shoulder of his best friend.  Shachi’s arms supported Law, hugging the man back and squeezing him with the might only a life-long friend could have.  

“You’re doing great, Law,” the redhead whispered.

Nobody spoke a word as the two led the doctor back to your room in the emergency ward.  Law’s tears continued to fall, his hand finally clotting.  

When he rounded the corner of your room, you were standing upright, your body wrapped in a fabric hospital gown, your own cheeks puffy with the force of your own crying.  Robin was supporting your arm as you were about to lay back down on the bed, but as you witnessed Law enter your room once more, supported by your two best friends, you pushed past your doctor and threw yourself into the waiting arms of your husband.  His hands circled around you, your personal shield, your knight, holding you against his trembling body as his tears fell into your hair, as his head dipped down to hide in your shoulder and as your own face buried into the crevice of his neck, your unending tears soaking his shirt.  The world vanished around the two of you as you stood in his embrace.

[daisyjonesgf]

ur supposed to be focusing on the usual angst, not making up new wips for more 💔😭

BUT now that’s it’s out there… 👀

see, with this i feel it happened early enough into the relationship but when it did happen muse and billy’s dynamic had already been established. to be more specific its been three-four months after her first serious pregnancy scare (the one where she went to eddie for comfort and he was basically just like ‘i’ll help u raise the baby if u pick me’ and all that stuff only to get her period after a bit). after a quick google search, miscarriages typically happen within the first 12 weeks (2 1/2 months sorta) of pregnancy so if muse were to have miscarried she would’ve also found out sooner depending on how early on she miscarried.

honestly, muse either had a gut feeling and took the test or was at a doctor’s appointment and found out there. she hides it and doesn’t tell billy as he’d probably loose his shit on her. she doesn’t acknowledge that she is pregnant, more than likely disassociates for the longest time after finding out. she’d be aware enough to stop all her bad habits for the time that she is pregnant, raising a few eyebrows but no one looks into it (billy didn’t even notice). her brief pregnancy is the only time she genuinely thought about leaving billy, and the miscarriage happens during a time where billy and muse are having one of their most explosive fights so far, she loses the baby due to excessive stress, just when she was actually coming around to the idea of having a baby, a tiny little human that’d need her and love her and needed to be cared for, a baby that’d be her’s to love and care for (a tiny part of muse hates billy for it, knowing that if he hadn’t put her through his shit, she’d have had a perfect, healthy baby in her arms only a few months later, it’s the knowing that hurts the most). for months on end after the miscarriage muse keeps having those realistic dreams of a baby, from the birth to them saying their first word, she wakes up a tight emptiness in her chest every night when she realizes that there is no baby, and she cries.

daisy is the only one who knows for the longest time, billy doesn’t find out till they’re trying for tonya and muse is still very much apprehensive of the idea of pregnancy.

-❤️‍🩹

I'm sorry pookie 😭 I needed some really hard hitting angst I fear

it's got to be a couple years in for this one bc daisy is around by then, but by this time muse has had so many pregnancy scares, and she stopped going to eddie ab it bc he would always try to convince her that he would be such a good husband and father and she just can't deal with that shit. she learns to just keep them to herself bc her period always eventually happens

but this time her period is late and then weeks go by and it's still not there, so she takes a test, and freaks the fuck out when it's positive and she feels like she cannot tell anyone. she is taking the trash out to the dumpster so no one finds it after she's done hyperventilating in the bathroom.

but she's in denial about it for a while, and just convinces herself it was a false negative and that her period is coming. but she's still nervous asf so she pretends to drink or take things but she doesn't actually take them (karen notices but doesn't say anything) (also muse probably did still smoke bc widespread knowledge ab cigarette smoking being harmful for a fetus didn't start until the 80s) but she pretends to take or do other things bc of her nerves.

then it gets to a point where she gets the tiniest baby bump starting to form (she's one of those girlies that starts getting it at 10 weeks) and she can't deny anymore that it's happening. she heavily considers leaving billy and telling eddie and just marrying eddie bc she's so scared of the stigma of being a single mother bc she doesn't think billy will stay with her or if he does then he will not be a husband who actually wants to be with her (cami core I fear 😔) but part of her thinks maybe he would straighten up, it is so many thoughts

and while she's dealing with that stress her and billy are in a bad patch again, it's literally a fight everywhere they go and she cannot explain to him half the stuff she's upset about because it's a result of the pregnancy

him coming into the room with his breakfast and the smell of the bacon making her feel ill, "no, not in here, fuck."

"what, I can't eat in my fucking house inside of my goddamn room, in the place I pay for? just because you have a rich daddy doesn't mean you can control everyone's fucking lives, newsflash."

or when she's been cranky and quiet at the studio all day and now driving back home they're fighting over the radio volume, "I have a goddamn headache billy, please turn it down!"

and at the stoplight he hits his breaks a little harder than intended as well, "you've always got a fucking headache or you're nauseous or you hurt or you're upset. I have to accommodate my whole life around you and you're literally just some groupie I'm fucking, it's ridiculous. and you haven't even sucked me off in weeks but start bitching when someone else is doing it, this is the goddamn real world." she hasn't sucked him off bc she's terrified she'd vomit since recently even brushing her teeth has had her gagging.

when billy finds out all those years later after finally being told he does distinctly remember how after daisy had left without saying anything to him and he's angrily put the sheets back on and was trying to go to bed on his side how muse had come in, laid her head on the top of his arm, didn't even try to get him to adjust like she would if she was trying to cuddle him when he was pissed, she just laid her head there and started bawling.

after a couple seconds of confusion he'd move, "what's going on?" and she doesn't respond right away, and despite being an asshole he still does have caring instincts for her, and is pulling her into his chest, "I got you, baby, what is it?"

but she just cries and cries and cries and eventually he lays down with her and she cries until she falls asleep and he does too. but when she woke up she spent the day more detached and he was so confused, but it's because part of her is so pissed at him wondering that if he hadn't always been so consumed with his fear of committing and fucking up, if they could have a family, if they would be getting ready for that baby right now.

she does have baby dreams for months, ranging from holding a baby or a full grown kid, to nightmares about it, but she always wakes up so upset. also billy always assumed the way she stared at baby clothes in the store or baby toys was bc she wanted one so bad, but deep down it was bc she was thinking about the life she nearly had.

ugh, my pookies 😔

[seoul-bros]

Jikook Week 1 Complete ✔️(12-19/12/23)

Their first week in the military is now complete and it's time to celebrate this milestone. This week in 2013, Jimin and Jungkook were getting ready to celebrate a Perfect Christmas.

Twitter Link 1, Twitter Link 2

Jimin appeared on Twitter saying "I want to cook for you, just thinking about it makes me happy." Anytime, anywhere Jiminie. The airfare would be cheap at the price.

Twitter Link 3

On the 18th December, JK appeared with RM in the Big Hit Episode for the Perfect Christmas song with JHope's buddy Jo Kwon.

Look at our shy boy with the killer voice. Adorable. No wonder Jimin couldn't resist him.

Fetus jikook celebrating their first Christmas together after debuting as BTS. Lindos recuerdos.

Facebook Media Set 18th December 2013