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Something Borrowed, Something Blue
A/N: Just a little something.
Title: Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Summary: Ten is back, and by God are you going to hold his hand so he never leaves again.
Words: 1220
He had registered it when it happened, of course. The feeling of warm, human skin—your warm, human skin—against his own, that familiar rapid pulse beneath his fingertips, was not something he could ever forget. And when it was this specific hand you were holding onto, attached to this specific arm leading to this specific face, he truly couldn’t blame you.
He guessed it had been a good hour. An hour since he’d regenerated, since you’d recognised his new-but-not-at-all-new face and your own face had lit up, utterly devoid of the dread you’d had before. And you’d hugged him, and he’d hugged you, and you’d latched onto his hand and hadn’t yet let go. Running around the TARDIS, landing her, holding Donna’s box, riding in the taxi, sneaking through the crash zone…your hands had been wrapped tightly around the other, each a constant, solid presence.
So, though he had registered it, the conscious recognition didn’t come until he yanked you towards him when he instinctively reached with that hand for the screwdriver. Balancing on your haunches beneath him, you stumbled a bit. An apology was on his lips until he glanced down and saw the white knuckles wrapped around his.
He looked up. Recovered from your little topple, you were staring straight at him.
“Y/N.” He said it softly, eyebrows raising, and you blinked. There was a deep concern in your bright eyes. Not visible on the surface, only he could see it, because he could always see through you.
He lifted his hand, the one attached to you, and the corner of his lips lifted slightly. “I need my hand back for a minute,” he said.
Your face seemed to visibly pale. You sat properly on the ground and slowly released your death grip, your fingers returning to their pinkness. You didn’t quite let go though, your gaze seeming anchored to your hands as though…as though it was the one thing keeping him there with you.
The Doctor hummed. “Hey, you.” You caught your bottom lip between your teeth and looked at him. He stretched out his free hand and tapped your nose. “It’s alright,” he promised you, offering a smile.
You nodded, hesitant at first, but more assured as you quickly dropped his hand and drew it back to your chest, holding it there with the other. “I know.”
The Doctor reached into his pocket for the screwdriver, eyes never once leaving you. You were distracting yourself from not physically feeling him, scratching at your head, twirling hair around your fingers, that leg shake you did whenever you felt restless. He couldn’t quite remember you being so anxious when he’d been him all those years ago. An inquisitive child, you’d followed him absolutely everywhere, but you hadn’t needed the assurance of his hand in yours to know he wasn’t going to leave you. But then, times had changed, and so had the both of you. He’d regenerated and regenerated and regenerated since, each one sucking a tiny bit more life from you than the one before. No wonder you’d grabbed the first hint of familiarity you’d received in fifteen years and not let go.
The Doctor stretched his legs out and rested his crossed ankles on a concrete block. He drew a box in the air with his sonic, a map of sorts, hoping to figure out what exactly the spaceship was and how he was expected to save little old Earth this time. Without looking down, he jerked his head a little to the side. “Space next to me,” he said.
A moment later you were beside him, crossing your legs beneath you, hands on your lap as though you had no clue what else to do with them. You watched as he fiddled with the sonic and sat in silence for a good ten seconds. Until he stopped. And he turned to look at you. And when your eyes met, his brows furrowed, and a smile, full of nostalgia and sadness, slowly spread across his face. He reached out to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing the skin. Tears sprung to your eyes.
“I missed you,” you whispered.
“I know. Come here.”
He stretched his arm out, allowing you to move closer and all but bury yourself in his side. His arm wrapped around your back and the other went instinctively to your head, holding you close to his chest.
Your gentle sniffles weren’t hard to miss. He kissed the top of your head, lingering there for a bit, shutting his eyes. “I’m here now, Y/N. I’m here.”
“But for how long?”
He couldn’t answer that. Something was niggling in the back of his mind. This face was being borrowed for an undetermined amount of time, some cruel trick from the universe that by God he couldn’t help but be thankful for.
“Let’s not worry about that now,” he said. He removed the hand from your head and put it between you, feeling you grasp it. You held it tightly, that little hand, that hand he had watched grow, that sweet girl he had raised, and sent a silent prayer to whoever would bloody listen that he’d have longer than he dreaded this time.
“You look different, you know,” you spoke softly a moment later. You turned your head to rest your cheek against him.
The Doctor rose a brow, running his tongue along his teeth. “That so?”
“Still the same, but different.”
“Ah. You look different too, you know. From when this face last saw you, that is.”
“I grew up.”
The Doctor frowned, subconsciously holding you that bit tighter. “Yeah,” he said, “yeah, you did. Can you stop that, by the way? Growing up? I’m not the biggest fan, you know.”
You pretended to think about it wiping at your eyes with your free hand. “Don’t think so.”
“Big shame, that. Massive shame. Probably the biggest shame of all. I remember when you were little little, when I had to tie your shoelaces for you and peel your oranges.” The latter was still true now, come to think of it. “But you’re still that same little girl, aren’t you, hm?” He lifted his head a little to peer down at you, trying to catch your gaze. “Aren’t you, Y/N?” There was a point hidden in those words. A point he’d had to reiterate so many times before on so many different levels. No matter his face, no matter his personality, no matter anything, he was still the same. The same Doctor. The same alien. The same being who loved you with all of his hearts. And he needed to remind you of that, to prepare you, because if what he feared would happen happened, he wanted—he needed it to be easy. For your sake. As easy as it could be. In whatever way helped you. In whatever way gave you back that life he’d inadvertently had a hand in destroying.
You drew away from him to look him in the eyes. Your own eyes were glistening, but you sniffed and held them back. You smiled lightly, then rose on your knees to wrap your arms around his neck in a tight hug. The Doctor returned it without hesitation, shutting his eyes.
“‘Course I am,” you said quietly. “Just like you.”
“Just like me.”
Doctor Who Masterpost
#doctor who#tenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#10th doctor#14th doctor#ten x reader#tenth doctor x reader#14 x reader#fourteenth doctor x reader#14th doctor x reader#10th doctor x reader#doctor x reader#the doctor x reader#teen!reader#teen reader#daughter reader#daughter!reader#reader#reader fic#mine
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Doctor Who Fic Recs
This is a list of incredible platonic and romantic The Doctor x reader fanfics that I have read on Tumblr.
Basically everything by @ayanna-wild but especially:
Remembering You - 10th Doctor x daughter!reader (platonic) (1.9k) The Tears - 10th Doctor x reader (1.1k)
10th Doctor Imagine by @imagine-upon-a-star 10th Doctor x reader (1.3k)
Always The Doctor by @theveryinsignificantpotato 10th/11th Doctor x reader (1.4k)
Before You Go Part 1 | Part 2 by @doctorslove 10th Doctor x reader (1.5k)
Catcalling by @doctorslove 10th Doctor x f!reader (1.4k)
CPR Imagine by @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction The Doctor x reader (0.4k)
Danger by @timey-wimey-doctor-woctor-stuff 10th Doctor x reader (0.7k)
Drifting by @bill-pxtts 10th Doctor x Introvert!Companion!Reader (0.9k)
Fault by @fandom-imagines-stories 10th Doctor x reader (2.4k)
Feels Like Home by @inthisformiambadwolf 10th Doctor x reader (0.9k)
Forgotten by @i-imagine-my-doctor 10th Doctor x reader (0.7k)
Forgotten Imagine | Remember by @randomfandomimagine 10th Doctor x reader (2.9k)
Heartstring by @make-me-imagine 10th Doctor x soulmate!reader (1.7k)
I just wanted to make you smile again by @mirkwoodshewolf 10th Doctor x child!reader (platonic) (2.4k)
I’m not like him by @mirkwoodshewolf 10th Doctor x reader (1.9k)
Last of the Time Lords by @obiwan824 10th Doctor x reader (0.7k)
Not Leaving You by @imaginesfordifferentfandoms 10th Doctor x reader (3.7k)
Scorched by @thepokyone 10th Doctor x reader (1.3k)
See You Now, Saw You Then | See You 2 by @ayasstories 10th/11th Doctor x reader (6.7k)
Simple Minded by @okay-j-hannah 10th Doctor x reader (2.1k)
Smoke by @timelord-winchester-22b 10th Doctor x reader (1.3k)
Surprise Conversations by @hellion-writes 10th Doctor x reader (platonic) (2.3k)
The Doctor as a father by @i-imagine-my-doctor 10th Doctor x daughter!reader (platonic) (0.8k)
The Dying Girl by @okay-j-hannah 10th Doctor x reader (63k)
THE OTHER COLOR Part 1 | Part 2 by @inthisformiambadwolf All Doctors x soulmate!f!Reader (4.7k)
The Sweetest Comfort by @doctorslove 10th Doctor x reader (0.8k)
Time Child Part 1 | Part 2 by @inthisformiambadwolf 10th Doctor x child!reader (platonic) (7.1k)
Time To Let Go by @inthisformiambadwolf 10th Doctor x reader (0.6k)
wonders lost and wounded by @melancholydreadfuldream 10th Doctor x reader (5.8k)
Worried Sick by @madboxwithagirl 10th Doctor x reader (2k)
Your Protector by @doctorslove 10th Doctor x reader (1.9k)
#doctor who fanfiction#doctor who x reader#doctor who fic recs#doctor who imagines#the doctor x reader#the doctor x child!reader#the doctor x daughter!reader#10th doctor x reader#11th doctor x reader
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I hope Jenny comes back at some point. Even if she doesn’t stay with the Doctor, I think just knowing that she’s alive and well would really help him. I just want to see some more of their interactions, and/or his reaction to finding out that she’s alive. Even if it’s only one episode, I need to see more of him being a girldad.
#also am I the only one who thinks that Jenny reminds him of Rose#I mean straight blonde hair and constantly questioning him?#she could easily have been his daughter with Rose#no wonder he tries to deny her at the beginning#not only does she remind him of the family he lost on Gallifrey#she reminds him of losing Rose#she represents both the past that he lost and the future he lost#on a happier note the fact that she’s played by Georgia Tennant is fucking hilarious#doctor who#the doctor#The doctor’s daughter#rose tyler#dw#dr who#doctor who s4#timepetals#doctor x rose#the tenth doctor#tenrose#ten x rose#tenth doctor#10th doctor#doctorrose
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[Video description: a video showing the rubble of apartment buildings damaged or completely destroyed by bombing. End description]
This video was recorded by my dear friend, Hashem @hashembadr. He and his family are in northern Ghazzah, living in a home that has been bombed. Hashem's family consists of 26 people, including several children. Affording necessities like food, medicine, and clothing for all of them is very difficult, especially since Israel has cut off aid coming in to Ghazzah.

[Image Description: a collage of three images. The first two images are dated from December 20th, 2023. The first image shows Suham, a young girl with an injured arm, her head and arm covered in blood. The second image is an x-ray showing her broken bone. The third image is dated from March 10th, 2025. It shows Suham standing and holding her arm towards the camera. Her arm has a large scar on it. End description.]
On top of the family's basic survival needs, one of Hashem's nieces, Suham, needs surgery for her injured arm. Her arm was broken near the beginning of the war, and the bone healed incorrectly due to the lack of medical treatment. She needs surgery for her bone to be fixed, but it is very expensive.
Thanks to people's generous donations, Suham was able to recieve some doctors appointments and treatment. However, some of the donations has to be diverted to keeping the entire family alive. Hashem's family still needs £950 more to afford the surgery necessary for Suham's healing.
Hashem and his family need your support. They have survived a genocide, and they deserve help as they recover from all they have lost and endured. Suham needs surgery, and all the family needs food, clothing, and safety. Hashem needs this campaign to raise not just the £950 for Suham's surgery, but also more funds to make sure his entire family's needs are met.
Hashem is an incredibly hardworking and caring man, and he has been working so very hard to care for his family. Please, lend him your support as well so his family can get what they need. Share and donate! Your donations can help them heal and thrive.
Vetted #102 by @/gazavetters
@greed-the-dorkalicious @kordeliiius @fassohneboden2 @extremelycursedimages @commiekinkshamer
@sunset-synthetica @werewolfetone @legallybrunettedotcom @v1leblood @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys
@evilponds @mothgirlthing @boy-and-girl-crazy123456 @hummerous @bugs-r-neat
@creatingblackcharacters @tamamita @boobieteriat @pitbolshevik @zigcarnivorous
@hecking-tired @ochrophyta@cripsycremecuckery @mercurysreal @caffeinated-reverie
@theultracharmingladynoire @bignightengineer @khudrang @m-an-u @rdx-dcm
@celadonwanderer @aces-and-angels @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @malcriada @guldaastan
@fullmusicbardsquared @cheonmaneechan @sundung @ihavenopeopleskills @thevvickerman
@angelsarecomputers @babybutchianthe @mailmiocuoredipietratremaancora @wetthandss @patriciavetinari
@hinenihineni @shygirlsrule @snailsinmybrain @mothprincess @ramshackledtrickster
#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#palestine aid#hashem bader#hashem badr#vetted fundraiser#verified fundraiser#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#from river to sea palestine will be free
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#fun fact the doctor’s daughter is played by the irl daughter of the 5th doctor#she is now married to the 10th doctor#who was the doctor in the episode where she played the doctor’s daughter#also the 5th doctor was the favorite doctor of the 10th doctor’s actor#I am aware that I am saying this in a very confusing fashion#this is intentional#basically 5th doctor Peter Davison had a daughter named Georgia#who played the doctor’s daughter during the run of the 10th doctor David Tenant#David and Georgia later married#David Tennant now has his favorite doctor as his father in law#and Georgia Tennant married the man who played her father and played the same role as her actual father#I really want to know how their family gatherings go and what jokes are made#can you tell I’m a big doctor who nerd?#doctor who#danny phantom#dp x dc
yeah, I love that fun fact, it's hilarious xD
Sam and Tucker have to be his companions. Maybe sometimes Jazz, Dani and Valerie as well. But not always at the same time, sometimes only one or two, often Danny travels alone. They do have their own lives to live. But it beautifully plays into the multiple companions of the Doctor trope. Sometimes they all travel together, but that is very rare. They're always happy to see each other again to catch up and exchange stories and share inside jokes, sometimes on Danny's expense (as they should)
The Doctor
After years of fighting crime and being a hero, Danny decided that he wanted another profession, something else to do with his life. In the end he decided to be what he always needed: A doctor.
Thanks to Frostbite's teachings and help, Danny managed to become a successful and efficient doctor quickly (although he definitely hated normal medical school), with experience in all kinds of beings (from all kinds of dimensions, he couldn't just be a human doctor, what's the point on that?)
Since his universe didn't need a doctor for heroes and Frostbite was enough for the ghosts he decided to... be a traveler doctor, or something similar, help other dimensions. With the help of the Infinite Map he always traveled where "he was needed", and thanks to Clockwork he always escaped before they could question him.
The Justice League was very confused about who was randomly showing up to heal them. Sometimes by force. But Danny didn't care about the consequences, after all, they need him. And it's kind of funny that he's referred to as "The Doctor" in their files.
#dp x dc#danny phantom#doctor who#dpxdc#medical doctor danny#danny travels trough dimensions helping as a medic#people think he's like the Doctor from Doctor Who/the series was made based on him#I was very much thinking of the scene where all of 10th's companions and sarah jane were flying the TARDIS together to bring back earth#and the one where martha and donna met when martha was working for unit and joked on the doctor's expense#that was right before the episode with the doctor's daughter I think#the 10th Doctor is my doctor can you tell#I literally was introduced to the series with one of his episodes#I should really catch up to the new doctor#I stopped somewhere during the 13th Doc's run#I'm a big doctor who nerd as well tbh#sadly the old episodes are very hard to access and are extremely boring from today's plot and story speed perspective
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Reid's Slut Kinktober #2
The time of year has finally come for me to ✨shine✨ If you followed my first kinktober last year, you can already guess what to expect. This event is purposefully written explicitly with a few dark themes, so please make sure to take note of every content before engaging.
All fiction below will be paired with fem!reader.
Oct. 6th - PRETTY BUNNY Sub!Spencer x Playboy Bunny!Reader; Boobjob
Spencer doesn’t know what to do when he recognizes you from his favorite adult magazine.
Oct. 10th - DOCTOR REID Established relationship; Roleplay
Your boyfriend finally agrees to indulge in your fantasy by playing a very different kind of doctor, but on his own terms.
Oct. 15th - LESSON LEARNED Unit Chief!Spencer x BAU!Reader; Breathplay
Your boss decides to teach you a lesson when you question the motivations behind a certain case.
Oct. 20th - ON CAMERA (Part 2 of A Special Show) Roommate!Spencer x Camgirl!Reader; Exhibitionist
Spencer requests to take on a more involved role in one of your live streams.
Oct. 24th - ANGEL Single Dad!Spencer x Nanny!Reader; Breeding
Spencer likes having you around to look after his daughter, in fact, he likes you a bit too much.
Oct. 27th - ROOM FOR THREE Dom!Aaron x Sub!Reader x Softdom!Spencer; Threesome
Nobody knows about the contract you signed to be your boss’s sub until Spencer finds the document. Aaron proposes a deal in exchange for his silence.
Oct. 31st - DARKER DESIRE (Part 2 of Dark Desires) Ghostface!Spencer; Dubcon
The masked killer who suddenly disappeared a year ago decides to pay you a visit on Halloween.
*please note that the titles may change in the future
There’s a good chance I might not be able to post all of them as scheduled (boo Lou boo!!!). Hehe I’m just giving you a heads up because last year’s kinktober was also delayed, but I’ll do my best to keep things on track!! You may also notice there are more to expect this year, which is intentional because I want to explore each kink individually rather than putting them all into one long fic. So these stories will be relatively short (at least shorter than what I’m used to writing). But of course, I’ll include a more detailed content warning with each fic when I post them.
And as usual, there will be no taglist.
Now that’s finally out of the way, tell me which one you’re most excited for😋
#kinktober 2024#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid fanfiction
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New Face, Fresh Promises (10th Doctor x Timelord!Reader)
pre nanowrimo get all my fanfiction thoughts out challenge, hard mode.
continuation of this
Wordcount: 700(ish)
Series masterpost
Honestly I just wanna post something but I can't get around to finishing my new Doctor's Daughter fic for the as of yet unnamed Doctor Who series so I'm going back to my roots and using the maybe prompt list
23) Don't call me that
29) I'm never leaving, I promise
You burned, your body burned away with a single realization, you loved The Doctor. But not just loved, you were in love. You were in love with The Doctor. The man who saved you and destroyed your world in one day, the man who showed you a glimpse of the universe and left you wanting more. The man in the old blue box.
When a Time Lord regenerates a lot of things can happen, one of which is a loss of consciousness.
When you opened your eyes both The Doctor and Martha were looking down at you. You looked at The Doctor, blinked and smiled, "looks like I won" You said with a lopsided smile.
"Ugh, new mouth, I hate the feeling of a new mouth" You grumbled and tried to bring yourself up but the Doctor's arms quickly surrounded you, helping you up carefully instead. He didn't say anything simply helping you stand.
You tried to take a step on your own only to stumble, your legs felt like burned jelly.
"Doctor" You said carefully and The Doctor kept to himself how much he missed hearing you call him love.
"Yes?" He simply said.
"I don't think I'm done regenerating" You said, fainting into his arms.
The next thing you know you wake up in your room in the Tardis. The feeling of your sheets beneath you and your books and journals lining the walls. Beside you, on a chair you know he brought from somewhere else sat the Doctor. His face was drawn and he looked lost in thought.
You looked over at him and smiled.
"Hello again" You said. He didn't look amused.
"Why did you do that?" He asked.
"What?"
"Why did you force yourself to regenerate?? He asked.
You looked at him trying to both remember what happened and answer, "Doctor—"
"Don't call me that." He said sternly.
You closed your eyes and sighed.
"Love"
"Why did you do it? Why did you put yourself through that? I told you to go to protect you" He said and you sat up, looking him in his gorgeous brown eyes.
"Because I refuse to leave you" You said and he scowled.
"Don't say that—"
"I never want to leave you" You said, taking his hands in yours. You admired the sight.
"Doctor, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my lives with you—"
"No, no, don't say that" He repeated but you held his hands tightly. You knew why he felt this way, why he reacted the way he did but your post regeneration mind still wasn't fully working.
"Do you not feel the same? If you don't, I'll stop—"
"No, I, I" He said. his eyes were tearing up.
"Doctor I love you, do you love me back?" You asked.
"Of course I do, I adore you" He said, "Y/N you light my dark starless sky. You make me feel whole, like I'm no longer alone. It's not that"
"Then what is it?" You asked.
"They always leave." He said solemnly, looking away, "In the end they always leave"
You moved one of your hands up to hold The Doctor's face. forcing him to look at you.
"I'm never leaving, promise" You said and you saw a tiny smile peak it's way through his expression.
"You are brilliant" He whispered and you smiled.
"I love you" You said and he smiled too, a true full smile.
"I love you too" He said.
There was a beautiful moment, the two of you just basking in the love and care you had for one another and then you burst out laughing.
The Doctor was taken aback, his expression only sending you further into your fit of laughter.
"What? What's going on?" He asked only to be met with more laughter.
"Y/N are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes, I—" You could barely control it but you did. You controlled it enough to say, "It's just, stars that was cheesy, I don't know where that came from" You said and you could tell there was a dash of shock and worry on The Doctor's face so you clarified, "I guess this is what I am now. A cheesy romantic"
The Doctor smiled, "There are worse things to be" He said and you nodded.
#gn reader#gender neutral reader#10th doctor#doctor who series 3#doctor who#doctor who x reader#tenth doctor#tenth doctor x reader#10th doctor x reader#time lords#drabble#reader insert#doctor who reader insert
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Perfect!!! I was hoping if you could write for the platonic 10th and 11th doctor based on a daughter/teen reader who did this prank on them
https://youtube.com/shorts/uLKf1HRsQSM?si=rQvqmLkFeJ84oilZ
Love your writing btw♥️♥️♥️♥️
Figured since this won't be too long of a fic, I can respond to the message and post the fic down here all at once :) hope you enjoy it love as well as all my other fabulous Whovian readers out there. Even though Matt Smith is MY Doctor, I decided to have the reader be David Tennant's companion since Clara will be featured in this fic and I think in a way, reader is like 10th's Clara where she can tell certain things about her Doctor that he tries to keep hidden away.
Cheekiest companion ever
10th and 11th Doctors x teen reader ft. Clara Oswald
Taglist:
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@waddles03
@plethora-of-things
@remussl0vers
@queen-paladin
@psychosupernatural
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It's one thing when you travel with the Doctor, it's another thing when you've got three of them in one place. Now normally you'd think there'd be the whole 'cataclysmic of space and time collapsing. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey' or whatever but strangely at this moment, there wasn't any of that.
I mean after all we did just save the world from destruction from both Zygon's and helping to save Gallifrey instead of letting it burn. I could also see through my Doctor's eyes that after forgiving his past self that both he and his future self had both tried to hate and forget about, there was relief on his face. Like a heavy burden had been lifted and both of them could finally move on.
We were having a small victory celebration with drinks and cakes just outside on the deck of UNIT HQ.
"Another day saved, another job well done." my Doctor's future self praised as he picked up his cup of tea.
"With some help of course." Clara said sipping her own tea.
"Though quite honestly these two could do it without our help, we're just here for the ride along." I said.
"Oi now, if not for your brilliant idea on getting the humans and zygons to forget who was whom, this whole city would be nothing but a crater." My doctor said as he gave me a nudge.
"So negative she is. You sure she's one of my previous companions?" asked future Doctor.
"She can be rough around the edges but she's a keeper." said my Doctor as he ruffled my hair.
"Oi now you two leave the girl alone." Clara reprimanded.
"Yeah since when is this gang up on (Y/n) day? It's bad enough I get it from you now I have to get it from your future self. Speaking of I've been wondering something."
"What's that?" asked my Doctor.
"You two though different in face and personality, share the same DNA, the same cleverness and settle battles with no weapons other than your Sonic screwdrivers."
"I've told you before (Y/n), the Sonic screwdriver isn't a weapon, but a tool."
"Yeah, yeah Doc I know but my point is this. Which of you two could say is the strongest?" I shrugged.
"Well you've seen and heard what I can do so obviously it's me." said my Doctor.
"Now hold on just a minute, did you get to handle dinosaurs on a spaceship? Oh that's right no you didn't." said the future Doctor.
"That's rubbish!"
"No it's all true! Triceratops. Sweet girl, lovely creature and fiercely loyal. Until she died sacrificing herself for me and some crew members." the future doctor looked down solemnly. "Plus I had to hang onto the side of the TARDIS as UNIT had forced us here right when this mess fully started, I'd say that also requires some stregnth."
"Child's play. Try hanging onto a bar railing while an alternate dimension portal is opened up forcing every Dalek in the entire world to said dimension."
"Alright ladies break it up." Clara stepped in trying to separate our two doctors.
"I think I know how we can settle this. Clara, grab those four juice jugs over there and I'll get some of the plates." she nodded and we headed over to the table. "Anybody got any thread?"
"I think there might be some in the TARDIS from your last needle work you did with Queen Elizabeth." said my Doctor. I snapped my fingers in remembrance and quickly raced inside the TARDIS and looked around until I found some good thread. I came out with the thread and went over to Clara as I tied the two jugs with each end of the thread.
"Alright Doctors step forward." they got up and walked over toward us, same manner of footing and everything. "Oi I swear I feel like I'm in the Twilight zone seeing you to be 100% in sync." I muttered before saying, "Now then, you two are going to hold these two jugs of juice for as long as you can. The catch is though, each few seconds you'll be added some more weight with these plates. Clara you handle your Doctor and I'll handle mine. Whomever can hold the weights for a full three minutes is the winner. Sound fair?"
"Yeah, fair with me. Fair with you?" asked my Doctor.
"Plenty fair, get ready to lose though sandshoes."
"They're not sandshoes!"
"Oi argue later ladies." i heaved as i held up the two jugs of Kool-Aid and handed them to my Doctor who briefly let out a breath from the sudden weight but kept a firm hold on his juice jugs. Clara's doctor did the same thing and i began stacking the plates before dividing them up evenly and handed them to Clara.
Bit by bit, we slowly added the plates onto each of our Doctor's hands.
"Impressive, you two are hardly breaking a sweat." I praised.
"Well when you've done as many travels as me, you pick up a thing or two." boasted my Doctor.
"Does that include your non-English phrases and words? I mean really, where did you get timey-wimey from?" said future Doctor.
"I'll have you know......"
"You do make up a lot of words Doc. I'm sorry but you do. I once said that silly little phrase to my nan once and she looked at me like I had grown a second head." I told him agreeing with his future self.
"Okay now last plate in three.....two......one." both Clara and I placed the last plate and soon both doctors were not only holding two heavy jugs of Kool-aid tied to thread, but also seven plates each.
"Alright, two minutes have already passed now for the piece de resistance." I went over and grabbed the two pieces of cake that were left and placed them on top of each Doctor's plate. "Now to make things much interesting, I want you two to close your eyes."
"What?" they both chorused out.
"Sensory depravation forces another sense to grow stronger. In this case I wanna see if your sense of touch is gonna either help you or not. So c'mon eyes shut."
"Demanding little thing, isn't she?" muttered future Doctor.
"You don't know the half of it."
"I can hear you yah know right?" both Doctors shut their eyes and I waved my hands in front of their faces to ensure they weren't going to open them. I smirked and quickly ran towards my pack that was near the table and pulled two pairs of scissors. I handed one pair to Clara and placed my finger over my mouth to have her be quiet.
I then mimed out as I pointed at my pair of scissors and pointed at the jugs before acting like I had been caked in the face and made a disgusted face before wiping the fake icing off my face. Clara's face went wide as her jaw dropped but I shushed her again as I gestured her to go to her Doctor while I went to mine.
We both placed our scissors over the thread over one of the jugs and she looked at me as I mouthed out.
'Together on three.' holding up three fingers. She nodded as I slowly counted down on my fingers. One.....two.....three. Together we both cut our thread pieces which forced both jugs to drop which forced our Doctors to get their respected pieces of cake shoved straight into their faces.
Clara and I soon ended up on the ground laughing so hard we both could barely breathe.
"Oh yeah, now I definitely remember her." Future Doctor said as he wiped the vanilla icing off his face while my Doctor wiped the chocolate off of his.
"She's someone you really can't forget. Probably one of the most cheekiest companions we've ever had."
"And don't you two dunderheads ever forget it." I said after my laughing fit.
#doctor who#doctor who imagine#doctor who imagines#doctor who fanfic#doctor who fanfiction#doctor who fluff#10th doctor#11th doctor#10th doctor x reader#10th doctor imagine#10th doctor imagines#10th doctor fanfic#10th doctor fanfiction#11th doctor x reader#11th doctor imagine#11th doctor imagines#11th doctor fanfic#11th doctor fanfiction
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10th doctor x reader - the stars in your eyes
A/N: this is a collaboration made with the help of the ever wonderful @casserole-from-dads-asserole 💜
Part one:
Nobody had seen the falling star, it was almost unnoticeable to the untrained eye, barely visible in the evening light.
But they had noticed it. Wilf and his granddaughter as they were walking home, the star falling to the park nearby.
“Let’s go look!” Donna asked.
The little girl took her grandfathers hand and began to pulling him, and with a laugh he followed her.
“I’m sure it’s nothing sweetheart.” He said.
They looked around the park and it seemed empty, and the little girl frowned slightly as she pouted.
“Come on now, don’t pout.” Wilf chuckled.
He picked Donna up, and they began to explore the park.
Nothing seemed out of place or damaged, and after searching around, they decided to call it quits much to Donna’s protest.
“We have to get back before dinner.”
“But one more look!” Donna whined.
Wilf rolled his eyes a little bit.
“Alright, one more.”
So, they began to look around once more, and that’s when they found it.
It didn’t look like much, but it was definitely there, against a tree was a small body sprawled out, dirt on either side of it.
“Granddad…” Donna whispered.
“I see it, wait here.”
Wilf set his granddaughter down, and he slowly walked over, kneeling down next to the person, he realised it was a child.
A little girl, covered in dirt and dust, and he slowly reached out.
“Hey…” he whispered.
Wilf reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder and he recoiled at how cold she was through the jumper she wore.
He tried to shake her or get her attention somehow, but it wouldn’t work.
Shrugging if his jacket, he wrapped it around the girl and picked her up, rushing back over to Donna.
“Quickly now.”
“What is it?!” Donna asked.
“It’s a girl! Come on now!”
They ran back home, and straight upstairs to Donna’s room where they laid her on the bed.
They grabbed some blankets and covered the girl up with, and they tried to raise her temperature but nothing was working.
“She needs to go to the hospital..” Wilf whispered.
Donna stared at the girl, kneeling next to her on her bed.
She reached out and poked her cheek, and the girls eyes open, wide and seemingly staring at absolutely nothing.
“Granddad…”
Wilf walked over and looked down.
“Impossible…”
“She has the stars in her eyes…” Donna whispered.
They both stared at the seemingly ever changing constellations in the girls eyes, the colour changing softly as the patterns changed.
“Donna get back…”
Wilf lifted Donna down, and they both carefully back away from the girl, and soon her eyes closed again.
Now they were at another loss, how to hide her away from everyone because they couldn’t tell anyone.
So, wilf settled for hiding the girl in his room, since nobody would go into his room, that’s where he hid the girl, at least until his daughter and granddaughter went back home.
And when they did he moved the girl over to Donna’s room again, and even though she was breathing, she didn’t seem to be awake.
Not for the first two weeks, then finally when he came in with some clean blankets he noticed the girl sitting up.
“Good heavens…”
He slowly walked over and sat down on the chair next to the bed.
“What’s your name sweetheart?” He asked.
The girl looked over at him, (E/C) eyes shining brightly as they seemed to stare right through him.
“Dad…?”
Wilf sighed softly, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry love, I’m not your dad. My name’s wilf, what’s your name, do you know it?” He asked softly.
“(Y/N)…” you whispered.
“That’s a beautiful name (Y/N), where’s your family?”
“I… do not have a family anymore…” you sniffled.
A few tear ran from your eyes, and instead of clear tears like he was used to, these seemed to shine before fading.
“What are you…?” He whispered.
“I come from the universe… it created me…”
You snapped out of your head to feel a hand placed in your shoulder and you smiled a little bit, immediately recognising the hand.
“You’ve been up here for a while.” Wilf said.
“Sorry, I got lost in my head again.”
Wilf chuckled a little bit, and he placed a blanket over your shoulders and you could feel him looking at you.
“Will you make me another one?” Wilf asked.
You laughed softly, and you turned to his direction.
You opened your eyes, and you stared at the mass of silver particles sat in front of you, they didn’t really take a shape but they didn’t need to.
You would recognise the stardust of the man who had raised you.
All around you could see the stars and the planets near and far, but you tuned them out and you focused on him.
“I’ll make you a little nebula dad.”
Wilf smiled, and he watched in fascinated as you moved your hands.
To anyone it would’ve looked like nonsense, nothing, but he had watched this over and over again, he couldn’t see what you were doing, but he could see what was taking shape.
It was slightly red, painted with the odd blue or purple, and when he looked at your eyes, he could see the constellations moving and changing within them, just like they always did.
“Put you hands out.”
Wilf put his hands out and you set it into his hands, and you held your hands over it, closing your hands around it and you let go.
And he brought it all.
A small little nebula, a small cluster of stars, and stardust that wasn’t need, created just for him.
He could move it around his hand, change it’s shape but that’s all he could do to it.
Very carefully his moved his hands to the side, and he placed it in a small mason jar sitting next to him, and he sealed the lid.
“Doesn’t it tire you out making all of them?” Another voice asked.
“Oh don’t spoil our fun Donna.” Wilf pouted.
“Come on grandad, she makes you a new one every week. What even happens to them?”
Donna pulled a sheet over and she sat next to you, looping her arm with yours and you smiled to yourself.
“I don’t mind what he does with them, I like making them.”
“Seriously though, doesn’t it tire you out?”
“No, I could make small ones all day every day. They don’t take energy, I just take the stardust and I fuse it together.”
You looked to your right, looking at orange stardust sat next to you, and you smiled a little more.
“Am I still orange?” Donna asked.
“Always have been.”
“Oh come on! Is this because of my hair?” She huffed.
You laughed loudly, and you looked at her.
“It’s just your colour, dad is silver, your orange, your mum is green, I don’t why, and strangers are blue.”
“Have you seen any other colours?” Wilf asked.
You thought for a moment before shaking your head.
You let go of Donna and shuffled down, resting your head in her lap, and she smiled down at you, looking as your eyes matched the stars above you.
Sometimes they would lock on whatever was above you when you looked at it, and you could focus on that more clear.
“No, I’ve only seen your colours before. But.. but sometimes I see gold…”
“Gold?” Donna asked.
You nodded and closed your eyes.
“Like a trail of gold all over space and earth too, but I can’t pinpoint it.”
You took a deep breath and you pushed your soul from your body, and you wondered around, stretching a little bit.
You ran through the stardust, it was mixed with all different colours, bright but barely viable at the same time.
You heard movement and you looked down at wilf and crouched next to him, trying to see what he was hiding.
“What’re you doing now granddad?” Donna laughed.
“She’s at it again.” He chuckled.
“Oi! Save it for the wedding I want you to be there!”
You stepped back into your body and you smiled, opening your eyes.
“I promise I’ll be there, I wouldn’t miss my big sisters wedding.”
Donna grinned down at you.
“You better not you lump of stardust.”
You laughed loudly and so did they.
It wasn’t long before the wedding, and while they all went, you stayed at home with wilf.
While everyone went to the wedding, you sat next to the man wasn’t feeling very well, and you looked at him.
“You want to go to the wedding?” You grinned.
“What’re you planning?” Wilf chuckled.
“Simple, I can astroproject, take us both there!” You beamed.
“I don’t have to get dressed up all fancy do I?”
“Nope, nobody can see us.”
Wilf grinned a little bit.
“Go on then, all grown up but ever the little trouble maker aren’t you?”
You grinned from ear to ear and got him to lay down, then you laid on the floor at the front of the sofa and closed your eyes.
The process was quick and easy, you pushed your soul from your body, and you walked over to him.
You tapped his forehead and he stepped away from his body and looked around amazed.
“This is what you see, all the time?” Wilf asked softly.
“Without the objects, I can’t see any of them in my physical body.”
You held out your hand and beamed a little bit.
“Come along then! We’re going to be late!”
“Lead the way!”
Wilf took your hand and you were at the wedding in a matter of seconds, and you both stood there grinning from ear to ear.
You stood at the front, and you turned around to look at Donna.
“She looks so beautiful…” wilf whispered.
“She really does… I’m so happy for her…”
Wilf sniffled a little bit and you held his arm.
“Don’t cry, you’re going to make me cry…”
You both laughed softly and you watched as Donna began to walk down the aisle.
“What’s that surrounding her?”
You searched the particles surrounding Donna, but they were surrounding here, they were here.
“I.. I don’t know..”
Donna began to scream and you watched in horror as he just vanished into thin air.
“Donna!” You and Wilf yelled.
You took him back and tapped his forehead, returning him back to his body and you did the same thing.
Bolting up, you jumped up and pulled your hair away from your eyes, searching around for the familiar orange trail that was your sister.
“Can you find her?!” Wilf rushed out.
You turned around to him and you placed a hand on his shoulder, easing him back on to the sofa.
“I’ll find her, I promise, but you need to stay here.”
“Don’t forget your glasses!”
“Right!”
You grabbed the sunglasses from the table and put them on, then ran outside.
The only problem was that yes you could track her, but you had to follow her entire route for the day, you couldn’t just appear next to her in a physical form.
So you focused on her, and everything else faded away, but even not the trail was contaminated, extremely faint.
You took off running, getting a taxi straight to the wedding and you looked inside, her trail ended here.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath.
“Come on Donna…”
Donna sat in the back of the taxi that was speeding away, and she felt panic rising, she didn’t know what to do.
Looking at her hands, she saw the ring you had made for her as a birthday present when you two were teenagers.
Reaching out, she touched it, and when she pulled her hand away, it glew for a split second before going out again.
“Find me…” she whispered.
You snapped your eyes open and you saw the trail as clear as day.
“Donna!”
You began to run again, not caring how long it was going to take, you needed to find her and you needed to find her fast.
While you were chasing her, there was another trail as well, that same gold trail you never could place to anyone, and it was following your sister too along with a red one you hadn’t seen before.
You didn’t know what was creating these two trails, but you didn’t like how close they were to your sister, and there was only one way you were going to find her before they hurt her.
You stood and took a deep breath, letting out body become stardust, become nothing and everything all at the same time.
It was easier to move this way, you linked yourself with the orange particles in front of you and within a second you were on the motor way.
“I can’t do it!” Donna yelled.
“Trust me.” The man spoke.
You could see him, or anything much since you had partially linked yourself with Donna to find her.
“Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did the trust you?”
“Yes she did, and she’s not dead, she’s so alive. Now jump!”
You could feel her hesitation, and you could feel her hesitation, so you broke the link and sat behind her, and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“(Y/N)…”
“Jump, I’m here..”
And Donna jumped, and you jumped too, taking her hand and pulled her into the strange man you still couldn’t see.
She landed on him, and you landed on the floor with a small thud.
While they weren’t looking you return to your normal physical body, and you quietly hid yourself and waited for it to be clear.
“(Y/N)?” Donna asked.
You still hadn’t come outside, not until whatever you were on stopped and a door wasn’t opened, and you slipped out just after Donna.
“(Y/N)?!” She yelled.
“Who’s (Y/N)?”
“My sister doctor, she was right there!”
“I still am.”
Donna spun around.
“Oh you…”
She ran over and crushed you into a hug, and you smiled softly, hugging her back, letting her hold you tightly.
“It’s okay… I’ve got you… I’ve always got you…”
You stared straight ahead, and the golden trail ended there.
“Who is he?” You asked quietly.
“He calls himself the doctor.”
You nodded a little bit and look at the mass of golden particles that was walking about something you couldn’t make out.
Donna pulled away and she stood between you and the doctor, and she lowered your sunglasses a bit.
“What do you see?” She whispered.
“He’s gold… he is the reason behind the golden trail among everything…”
“Does he know you’re not human…?”
You shook your head and pushed your glasses back up.
“No, I’ll always come across as human it’s okay.”
Donna nodded and she sighed, hugging you again, and you felt eyes burning into you.
So you stared back, and for the first time in his life the doctor felt a sense of unease, he couldn’t see your eyes, but he knew you were looking at him.
And something about the way you looked at him made every single cell in his body want to turn around and run for the hills
#doctor who#doctor who x you#doctor who x reader#doctor who x y/n#doctor who imagine#tenth doctor#tenth doctor x reader#tenth doctor x you#tenth doctor imagine
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Victorious next gen: Beck x Jade vers.
Damien Nolan Oliver West
Faceclaim: Felix Mallard
Damien is the son of famous award winning actor Beck Oliver and the famous director, screenwriter, and filmmaker Jade West
Damien also has an older sister in college named Janessa
When Jade and Oliver first graduated from Hollywood arts, they were married a few years shortly after that, along with getting into their careers.
But when Janessa and Damien were kids, they officially filed for divorce, and Beck gained custody over the kids
Damiens's older sister attends college to become a doctor while Damien is in Hollywood arts
Damien has a love for poetry, acting, film, photography, and creative writing
Damien creates the most strange yet beautiful stories and poems, but he never shows it to anyone but his mom or sister
Despite living with his dad, he visits his mom a lot and is pretty much the only one (other than Tori and Beck) to help calm her down when she's spiraling
Loves both his parents but hates seeing them fight
He has a black pitbull dog named Buster that his parents gave him for his 10th birthday
Huge dog person
Likes to take charge....A LOT
He mostly takes after his dad, but his dark side shows a lot which comes straight from his mother
Loves watching his mother's movies
Has a soft spot for the Vega family
He and Melody are besties
Talks with his sister a lot or tries to talk with her when he doesn't want to talk with anyone else
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
+ Robbie x Cat vers.
Evangeline Mia Shapiro Valentine
Faceclaim: Abby Ryder Fortson
Evangeline is the daughter of famous comedian and minor musician Robbie Shapiro and famous award winning singer and actress Cat Valentine
Evangeline goes by Eva, Angel, Angie, or Mia for short
She is the youngest in the group and attends Hollywood arts
She has most of her father's looks, but she has her mother eyes
When Eva was old enough, she put in red streaks in her hair to match her mother's hair color when she was younger
Rex creeps her out a bit but at the same time, he makes her smile and laugh a lot
Everyone loves Eva and are completely soft for her, even their kids
She also inherited her father's intelligence.
She has a love for acting and singing and is always looking to improve
Like her mom, she also has a Bibble addiction
She is a ray of sunshine and she loves it
Loves making people happy
Doesn't know a lot about her mom's family, but she has met her uncle on many occasions when Cat would call him for favors or help him to the hospital
She only wears glasses to read (she's far sighted)
#nickelodeon victorious#victorious fandom#victorious imagine#victorious#jade west#beck oliver#cat valentine#robbie shapiro#cat x robbie#robbie x cat#jade x beck#beck x jade#nickelodian#nickelodeon#victorious next generation#victorious next gen#robbie shapiro x cat valentine#cat valentine x robbie shapiro#jade west x beck oliver#beck oliver x jade west#anti dan schneider#victorious series#victorious au#victorious thoughts#elizabeth gillies#avan jogia#ariana grande#matt bennett#victorious ships#hollywood arts
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A Bit of Everywhere - Chapter 1
Sequel to Neither Here Nor There. Definitely read that before reading this!
Note: Holy cow, I'm finally posting this! After years of outlining and getting distracted by other projects, I'm diving back into this one.
Rating: T
Pairing: 10th Doctor X Rose Tyler
Work Summary: Rose and the Doctor are eager to get back to their old life of travel and adventure, but it's not as simple as running off into the stars. They now have two different universes to call home, their relationship to figure out, and a lot of recovering to do.
Chapter 1
Jackie Tyler sipped from a delicate china cup and sighed when the clock over the sink told her only three minutes had passed since the last time she’d checked. She wondered how she was going to fill the rest of the afternoon in this big empty mansion until Tony got home from school and footie practice. She’d been foolish to dismiss the staff early today with the gloomy mood she’d felt coming on. Now she didn’t even have the murmur of their bustling in the background to keep her company.
She briefly considered ringing a car and going to pick Tony up early, but quickly thought better of it. Her normally brash little boy had gotten skittish about certain things - late night phone calls, his parents picking him up from school instead of the nanny, any unexpected breaks in his routine. The five-year-old was tough, but losing his big sister, his hero, had left its mark. No, she’d just have to wait the extra time for Tony to get home. She’d figure out some way to keep busy in the meantime.
Keeping busy - that was the key to surviving this. She’d learned a thing to two about grief when she’d lost her first Pete. Though this new loss was so much worse, she knew the same old rules applied. She knew if she stayed busy, if she didn’t let her mind wander, the pain of her missing daughter could be contained to a dull ache in her chest. Sometimes she felt guilty for packaging it all up and trying not to think about Rose. But if she didn’t keep her heartbreak and worry in check, Jackie wouldn’t be able to function. She still had a husband and little boy who needed her. She had to stay strong for them.
And she could. She could find it in her to carry on, to push all the pain down until it was hidden in the deepest parts of her. She could do it…well, most of the time. But in moments like this, when her socialite friends had finished brunch and left for their own errands, and it was still hours until Tony got home, there was nothing to distract her. So, she dwelled. At least for a little while. She sipped at her tea and thought back on the horrible past year.
Jackie had missed her daughter when she’d gone back to America for her third year at uni, but the feeling had been mixed with hope as she saw Rose working so hard to build a better life for herself. Though she worried about Rose running herself into the ground with all her studies, Jackie had thought her daughter actually seemed happy on occasion at that big fancy school. Being just a regular girl around regular people her own age had done Rose some good. And Jackie had thought, quite falsely, that her daughter was safe in that American college town far away from the press and Torchwood and bloody aliens.
But then her Rose had been taken. There had been no sign of her little girl in months, and even when Jackie was fooling herself the most, she couldn’t imagine that Rose was safe. Dead, probably. And that wasn’t even the worst case scenario Jackie’s mind had come up with. She’d talked to Rose’s mate Kimberly plenty of times about the night Rose was kidnapped. Jackie knew about the bus footage of Rose fighting that goopy alien. She knew about the blood and the busted mobile. She’d seen the photos, though she wished she hadn’t. They’d been in a folder she’d accidentally knocked off Pete’s desk in the early days after Rose’s disappearance. Back then, when it had just happened and there was still hope, Jackie had spent a lot of time in her husband’s Torchwood office. She’d wanted to be there to get updates as they came in.
That terrible evening, Pete had found her kneeling on the floor a shaking mess, crying hysterically with grisly photographs scattered around her. He’d sat next to her on the generic office carpet and just held her as she sobbed. She reckons that was when she first realized she’d probably never see her daughter again. Somehow, her and Pete had gotten themselves stitched back together before it was time to head home to take over for the nanny and put Tony to bed. And that is what life had been ever since. Her and Pete were just holding themselves together for each other and Tony. What else could they do? Any lead in Rose’s case had gone cold months ago. Jackie knew she’d likely just have to live with never knowing what happened to her daughter. It was just like that horrid year when Rose went missing off the estate, except this time it would last the rest of her life.
Catching a tear rolling down her cheek, Jackie wiped at it angrily and stood up, determined to find something to do. The house was too quiet. She was too…alone. She needed to distract herself. She’d bake, she decided. She had all this obscenely expensive cookware now. She should make some use of it. She’d turn on the kitchen telly, get lost in someone else’s melodramatic story, and make Tony a snack that was far more elaborate than a five-year-old warranted.
And so, she was elbows deep in a batch of lemon-scented dough when she heard it.
For half a second, Jackie brushed it off as some wind through the trees. But as that wheezing, alien sound pulsed and grew louder, she froze, flushing with recognition.
After all these years…
“The heartbeat of the Universe” Rose had called it when they’d gotten tipsy off cheap box wine one evening. Jackie didn’t know about all that, but there was something about that sound. Rose had seemed to always be listening for it. And since she’d lost her daughter, Jackie realized she had taken up the mantle.
Taking time only to wipe the worst of the sticky dough off her hands, Jackie was off, running as fast as her stiff knees would allow towards the sound of the TARDIS. If she wasn’t mistaken, it was coming from her front garden. And wasn’t it just like the bloody alien to annihilate her carefully sculpted hedges when he landed.
The sun nearly blinded her as she ran down the front steps, but Jackie just shielded her eyes and searched for a special sort of blue out of the greens and pinks of her late summer garden. And there it was, smoking slightly and crushing her hedges, as she’d guessed.
Jackie wheeled to a stop in front of that damned and wonderful blue box, heart pounding. She dared to hope that maybe Rose was in there. The last time her daughter had gone missing she’d come back that way. It was all Jackie could do to stay still and wait for the doors to squeak open.
When they finally did, it wasn’t her Rose who greeted her, but a beaming Doctor - rudely looking not a day older than the last time she’d seen him.
“Jackie! Long time, no see!” he grinned before sweeping her up into an unexpected hug. She barely returned the embrace, glad as she was to see him. As soon as he set her down, she couldn’t seem to stop the desperate words from pouring out.
“Have you come to find her?” She asked, the edge of tears in her voice, “Because she’s gone Doctor! Rose is gone and it’s been months and we’ve done all we can and maybe she’s dead like everyone says, but now you’re here, and I’ve seen you do some ‘mazing things and -”
“Mum!” the sound of her daughter’s voice brought Jackie to an abrupt halt. Before she had time to fully realize what was happening, her daughter, her precious little girl was rushing into her arms.
“Oh sweetheart!” Jackie cried, wrapping her daughter in a tight embrace, “Oh Rose, you’re safe. I thought - ”
“Rose! No!” the Doctor cut in, sounding panicked of all things.
A moment later, Jackie found out why. Rose jerked with a little cry of pain and Jackie found herself struggling to support her daughter’s weight as she sank towards the ground. The Doctor leapt forward, taking Rose into his arms and easing her fall. He was so careful, so gentle as he cradled her in his lap. It was a stark contrast to the anger that replaced his alarm once she was settled in his arms.
“What in Rassilon’s name do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed, “What part about ‘stay here’ and ‘wait for me’ didn’t you understand? You can’t do this Rose! You can’t keep doing this to me. You can’t keep making me watch you - ooooff!” Jackie cuffed him soundly in the back of the head.
“Don’t you yell at my daughter!” she stormed, overcome with emotion and fully prepared to let it all loose on him. That bloody alien! Jackie was sure all this was somehow his fault. All those months of hearing nothing - probably his rubbish driving again.
“Mum! Stop, ’s ok!” Rose tried to break in.
“Oh no, I’ll not have him sauntering back here, ruining half my garden and -”
“Mum, please!” Rose said reaching out towards Jackie until the motion caused her to wince in pain.
Where Rose’s pleading had failed, her obvious discomfort caught Jackie’s attention and cooled her ire. She sank down next to the pair of them, taking Rose’s hand in both of hers. Now that she had a moment to really look at her daughter, Jackie noticed the battered state she was in. What she had thought were odd shadows was actually mottled bruising all over Rose’s skin. Her eyes were dull and sunken and blimey, was she pale. Jackie wondered how Rose had even made it out of the TARDIS with the large splint that went from one ankle all the way up above her hips.
“Oh Rose,” she gasped, “Oh sweetheart, what happened to you? What hurts? What can I do?”
After a few deep breaths, Rose squeezed Jackie’s hand and panted, “’M fine Mum.” At the Doctor’s snort she amended, “Well, not fine, not yet, but I will be. Got the Doctor lookin’ after me,” she offered a warm smile up at the still cross-looking Doctor before focusing back on Jackie, “S’ not his fault I’m a bad patient. None of this is his fault. He was taken too. I’m so - I’m so sorry I’ve been gone…” her voice cracked as her face crumpled on the last sentence.
“Oh Rose, none of that now,” Jackie wiped at her own tears with her free hand, “Look, you’ve got me goin’ too.”
The Doctor helped Rose sit up and then gently guided her into Jackie's arms. She wrapped her daughter in a careful hug and stroked her hair, “Oh sweetheart, it’s alright. I’m here,” she soothed even as she cried with relief and confusion and, oh, about a hundred other things. “I missed you so much, love. It’s all ok now though. You’re back. I got you back.”
Rose slowly settled as Jackie continued to rub her back like she’d done since she was a little girl. Didn’t matter if was a skinned knee on the playground or a bloke being a prat. Didn’t matter if Jackie was a mess herself. She always had her arms open for her daughter.
“Thanks Mum,” Rose sniffed finally, “I missed you too. I missed you so much.”
“What happened sweetheart?” Jackie asked again, “Where have you been? It’s been months!” She met the Doctor’s eyes over Rose’s shoulder, silently pleading for information.
“Jackie,” he said calmly, “We’ll explain everything, I promise, but we’ve had quite the bumpy trip here, and I think it would be best for Rose to go lay down. Now.”
And just like that, Jackie was in Mum Mode. She could fix this. Rose was alive and here, and finally, there was something Jackie could do.
“‘Course!” she said, leaning back on her heels once she was sure Rose could sit up on her own without support, “There’s the big sofa in the family room. Or your room’s still there, sweetheart. Haven’t changed a thing. Knew you’d come back to me.” Jackie hoped that neither of them could hear lie in that last bit.
“I think…my bedroom, yeah?” Rose sniffed, “I don’t - I can’t - with the staff hovering about, and…Tony’s not here is he? You should talk to him before he sees me...”
“Don’t you worry about any of that. I already sent the staff home for the day, and Tony’s still at school. Can you make it to your room ok?”
“The Doctor’ll help me,” her daughter looked over at him and Jackie didn’t miss the love and trust in her gaze. A look he returned, looking completely besotted.
“Look at you two,” Jackie smiled, “Finally figured things out then, did ya?”
“Later mom,” Rose rolled her eyes, but the blush on her cheeks and the smile she was trying to hide told the story.
“Oh alright,” Jackie conceded. For the moment, at least. “Let’s head to your room then.”
But before Jackie got up to head back towards the house, she cupped Rose’s face. “Oh sweetheart, I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Me too Mum,” Rose said, although Jackie didn’t miss how her eyes flicked towards the TARDIS when she said it. Before Jackie could ruminate on that too much, she pushed herself up off the grass.
“Well let’s go then,” she beckoned. The Doctor swept Rose up into his arms like she weighted nothing and Jackie led them both back towards the mansion.
#timepetals#doctor x rose#doctorrose#tenrose#rose tyler#tenth doctor#Jackie Tyler#10th doctor#doctor who#fanfic#A Bit of Everywhere#Chapter 1#omg finally
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⠀⠀ ⠀───── ❝ ABOUT ME ❞ ─────
#MOONSONG #BITTERSWEET #CAREBEAR ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #AUSTRID
ASTRIDSHIFTS | 19 | Virgo | Engaged | Shifted | Bisexual | Demi-Girl / Non-Binary | Uses She/They pronouns | @BAUSPAM on tiktok | 18+ MDNI
⠀⠀ ⠀───── ❝ MAIN DRS ❞ ─────
— Harry Potter
— Lie To Me
— Criminal Minds
—Doctor who (University AU)
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀───── ❝ S/OS ❞ ─────
Fred Weasley (21, Hogwarts Uni)
Storm Malfoy (20, Hogwarts Uni)
Aaron Hotchner (40, Criminal Minds)
[REDACTED] (35, Fame DR)
Greg House (40, House MD)
Cal Lightman (40, Lie to Me)
⠀───── ❝ EXTENDED DR LIST ❞ ─────
Bridgerton
Charmed (1998)
Criminal Minds (Bakery)
Criminal Minds (DBF DR)
Criminal Minds (Enemies to lovers)
Doctor Who (10th doctor/Timelady DR)
Doctor Who (11th doctor)
Doctor Who (12th doctor/University DR
Fame DR (Actress)
Fame DR (Author)
Grey’s Anatomy Groupshift
Gilmore Girls
Harry Potter (Fred Weasley)
Harry Potter Universe (groupshift)
Harry Potter (Storm Malfoy endgame)
House M.D
Lie to me
MCU X Harry Potter (Wanda’s daughter)
Queen Charlotte
The Queen’s Gambit
#reality shifting#shifting#shiftblr#shifting to desired reality#shifting to hogwarts#shifting to criminal minds#shifting to marvel#shifting realities#shifting with Astrid#Harry potter dr#criminal minds dr#shifting to doctor who#doctor who dr#marvel dr
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Satosugu doctor x patient
TW!: mental health topics of paranoia, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder and more
AUTHORS NOTE!!: I read up on these and tried my best with what I understood. If it’s unrealistic OR you have tips on how to make it seem more realistic please let me know. Enjoy💫
Sometimes the real monsters in the universe are the ones you try to avoid but end up becoming.
That’s how Suguru saw it. In this world he lived in it was kill or be killed. Zombies all around wanting him for his brain, his body. HIS body. It disgusts him, revolts him to his very core. He stares out of his window, on the 10th story of a building. He looks down at everyone walking. Suguru believes in zombies, he believes that everyone around him is out to get him. That’s why he’s here, why he’s being taken care of. He looks around his room, his hands to his side. The two bracelets he wore no longer on his wrists, the string in his hoodie and sweatpants stuffed away in a drawer back at his house. Suguru wasn’t okay. That’s what people always told him. “You need help” “you cant live your life like this” “you are not okay.” He never believed them though, because they were out to get him. So he scoffed at their attempts to put him in therapy. His cult followers tried to help, Nanako and Mimiko tried their best yet failed every time.
Yet somehow here he was anyway, stuffed away in a psychiatric hospital. Suguru Geto, 27, Male, Diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Depression. He had been diagnosed with Depression at the age of 16, his parents didn’t like that he was such a loner, always spending time away from people, staying in his room. These are not signs of depression. Honestly it’s just a kid who likes being alone. He just didn’t seem right, his grades were slipping and he lost all motivation for things he loved.
He never spoke on it, just kept a straight face and went on with life even though every step of the way he swore he was a goner, he swore he was dead meat. Suguru knew something was up, the looks on their faces said it all, all he needed to know. These people he surrounded himself with at school were nothing but fakes in a fake society with even more fakes. He lost all motivation to keep living. Though he never did anything about it. Just lived. Breathing, walking, and chuckling when talking.
He didn’t trust any one of these people though, not by a long shot. Not even his parents. Maybe his daughters he gained when he was 17, Mimi and Nana, his angels. He loved those two girls like they were his own.
His doctor walked in, this tall pale man with fluffy white hair and the most beautiful and expressive blue eyes he’s ever seen. Never in his life had he seen a gaze such as this doctors. The man smiled, his teeth perfectly white and perfectly straight, sugurus eyes were locked on this man’s features. His own eyes dark and tired compared to the bright and lively ones of the doctor.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Gojo. It’s a pleasure to meet you Suguru Geto. I’ll be working with you to figure out how to help you see things how it is” he smiled. That stupid stupid smile, his pretty pink lips separate whenever he smiles. Even if it’s a closed mouth smile they still part the slightest bit. Sugurus eyes look away his mind racing with thoughts. He hasn’t spoken in days, he’s been here for half a week and refuses to speak.
“Yeah..” is all he can muster out. It’s not a shy thing- far from it. It’s more of a ‘I don’t wanna be here let me leave’ but honestly maybe he should stay, just to look at this pretty boy doctor who probably had it all growing up. Loving parents, loving girls… loving friends. Suguru believes in becoming what you fear the most, wholeheartedly he believes it.
“So, for the next two months if you can show improvement you might have a chance of getting out of here. Most patients with schizophrenia to your degree don’t make it. Usually just go crazy in here. Yet I have high hopes for you..Suguru. In your records it says you’re quite violent. Is this true?” He speaks so gently yet straightforward, his voice was this odd mix of cocky and tender. More on the tender side during work hours.
Gojo was raised in money, he grew up being showered with whatever he wanted. Growing up like that is both good and bad. In school people either praised him for being so humble about his money or degraded him for being within a 3 foot radius. There was no in between. Sometimes he wished he was like everyone else, he was one of those ‘I wanna be normal!’ Rich kids. Every girl wanted him both since he’s a pretty boy who’s 6’3 with blue eyes and since he had more than enough for a date or two with just pocket money. He was popular, did plays for school and always got the lead. Yet none of that interested him. What did however was this boy. This boy who was always alone, this boy whose eyes darted left to right rapidly with terror.
The boy in front of him now.
Satoru really did plan to talk to Suguru one day, before he went all crazy in his head at least. Everyone expected the pretty boy to become an actor, shocked when he started studying psychology. Even his own family was shocked- which in itself was a shocker. His mom was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It affected him a lot growing up, he always wanted to help his mom but never did. She killed herself his last year of highschool. Satoru wanted to save her, yet failed. So he tries to help other people, if he couldn’t save one then he can save 100. This idle is better suited for a young student hes teaching. Yuji Itadori.
Suguru looked tired, like he hasn’t slept in days. It’s a look Satoru has grown use to, the dark purple circles that make him look so beautiful. He didn’t like that guy- he swore he was straight. Yet whenever he looked at Geto all he thought about was how beautiful he looked. How tired he must be. Gojo made mental notes ‘always tired’. Geto looked up at the man, his purple eyes so deep and devoid of much feelings. “Im not violent.” Geto finally replied to the doctors earlier question. Gojo hums, looking down at the clipboard.
It had some stuff about why geto was here, how he got here. Schizophrenic episode, he was seeing and hearing more shit than usual. Usually when this happens it starts off small- small whispers. Then it grows louder and louder, he sees figures outside his window- eyes staring at him. So finally he admitted himself. Left his girls with someone he trusts and left, the page was just a full report Suguru had to give. The doctor hums and takes a seat looking back up at Suguru
“Alright, now, let’s start off small, yeah? How’s your day going so far?” Gojo gives his usual doctor smile. It was the one suguru saw earlier that made his stomach tighten. Suguru hated eye contact, especially with people who had blue eyes, yet he can’t help but stare into Satorus. “Calm..” this wasn’t a lie, the voices in his head had calmed down and it was just small hums of conversation. “That’s good to hear, you still seeing things?” As Suguru answered questions satoru wrote. Taking note of improvements and deterioration in his mental health.
“Not as much..” the man really was tired. On the inside sayoru just wanted to leave and let this dude get his rest. But he needed to get this stuff answered, both to help geto in the long run and to understand him more. He was such a mystery to the blue eyed doctor. The two continued this small conversation- one asked long questions while the other responds with one word. Thats the type of dynamic these two had.
#jujutsu suguru#jujutsu gojo#satosugu#mental illness#jjk fanfic#gojo x geto#satoru x suguru#gay men#homosexual#doctor x patient
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Fun fact, there is an episode of Doctor Who with the 10th Doctor called « The daughter of the Doctor ». The actress playing her is actually the wife of Tennant and the daughter of Davidson : the daughter of the doctor married the doctor and then played the daughter of the doctor x)

this is the representation nepo babies deserve
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GL List: Jan. 1 2025
Incoming
3 Minutes 2 Love - original series. a bodyguard with the power to see the future 3 minutes ahead when she drinks water and has a mission to take care of her boss’s daughter before her wedding day.
About Galaxy - novel it’s based on is written by R4U’s author, was expected to air Feb 2025. Most of the same cast is back?
+Blind Love - taiwanese movie. Heavy on the angst, adaptation of a novel where the mom of a seemingly perfect family decides to come out and reunite with her first love. Her son also falls for the same woman. One of the leads is ariel lin
Bloom into You - adaptation of the japanese manga, acquired by hollywoodqueen
Buy My Boss (mimiaom) - announced by frt entertainment, adapted from novel of the same name, full teaser released
Claire Bell - original novel and screenplay GL from davika’s company mine media, currently casting. Set in a prison, one inmate who is wrongfully imprisoned meets another woman other inmates fear and the two find solace in each other. Teaser to be released in January
Cranium (freenbecky) - doctors who are former colleagues/bitter rivals meeting because of a plane accident and having to identify victims, 12 episodes, airing jan 2026. Currently filming pilot. Pilot trailer to be released in January at idf's event
Dangerous Queen - to be adapted by dream cast entertainment. Based off book from the writer of the Be Mine universe. Casting has started
Draft Your Love - original story by new company rizzupstudio and cast announced. Doing workshops.
Dragon House (frame mookda) - bought along with "Tiger" and "Swan" (@/salmonwriting's mafia family trilogy) by new company uprising entertainment to be adapted. first book of the trilogy is about the eldest heir of the gang with an arranged marriage to a rival gang’s daughter? pilot trailer released.
Flat Girls (earnearn fairy) - coming 2025, GDH’s first GL film. coming of age story, after her father's death lead character has to move out of the flat she lived in her whole life and begins to reflect her past memories and secrets
+Fragrance of the First Flower - season 2 coming February 18 2025, teaser released,, taiwanese GL
Girllove Girlfriend - cast revealed, currently filming. Ost or trailer soon?
Girls Rule - ensemble cast of milklove, namtanfilm and viewmim. original series, announced at gmm 2025 event and pilot trailer up on youtube. a whole messy toxic love square, exes friends (with benefits?) and colleagues. Will be directed by jojo who made “only friends” (BL) so this seems like a GL version of that. Projected to start filming in the third or fourth quarter of 2025 but not confirmed.
I'm Your Moon - adaption from a novel, the reincarnation GL of two princesses from 1913 and then they meet again in modern times. Q14 and wrapped up filming. Mini teaser released
Khom Klang - witchcraft GL? Based on a novel, starhunter on final round of casting
Last Case - a mystery thriller GL with an ensemble, pilot trailer behind the scenes video was released but not sure about the current status
Let's Kick This Love - action GL announced by Be On Cloud. should be expecting in 2025
LostStar - GL movie? By alos studio. Official trailer on youtube.
Lyric - GL announced from kongthup production who made “apple”, band member x muse. Ch. planoy book adaptation. Completed casting.
My Frenemy Queen - original story with two beauty queens who fall in love, announced by hollywoodqueen. Casting
My Only Sunshine (atom mer) - adaptation of the book by @/flowerofmemory9. produced by starhunter. pilot on youtube
No Romeo (earnearn fairy) - first GL series from one31 and in their 2025 lineup
Only You (lingorm) - bodyguard x idol, original screenplay, pilot trailer released. Currently filming. The show’s twitter account shows a clapper board on December 15 that said filming episode 2
Partner in Crime - produced by kantana (R4U’s company) has BL and GL couple and moving onto casting on May 10th
Poisonous Love - same writer and universe as TSOU, announced to be adapted by S9T Studio
Remain (andalookkaew) - adaptation of a book by @/flowerofmemory9. produced by starhunter
Reverse With Me - same universe and a spin off of "Reverse 4 You", about the eldest daughter of the R4U couple, karan, who also has powers. by a different production company (siamsi studio). delayed and expected to air 2025. Official trailer released on youtube
Roller Coaster - by @/reallyb__ , purchased for adaptation by motion minds ent. Cast revealed. Filming trailer.
Runaway - horror GL, baanchan production producing, casting has been completed but script is still being worked on. currently in production for the pilot trailer?
Shades GL (mook worranit pla) - announced by frt entertainment, about a strict all girls school and original story, full teaser released
Somewhere, Somehow (faymay) - adaptation of book by TLP’s writer, enemies to lovers, airing July 2025, 12 episodes. pilot trailer expected to be released at idf's january event
Stay With Me - GL miniseries? From siam studio, trailer on youtube
Stuck with Me - same author and universe as “R4U” and “Reverse With Me”. the story of R4U couple’s youngest daughter, maitree, who also has powers of her own. bought to be adapted by tanguy management. cast revealed, ant warinda-nut thanyarat. poster revealed. set to air 2025 on gmm25
Sunshine in the Wind - pilot trailer out, no news about release date, one is a florist with the power to smell emotions and meets the other lead, an actress, who is deeply sad and they grow close and realize their feelings for each other.
Un Limit Love - MGI ensemble GL, it’s 5 couples from MGI. englot, meenbabe, nackpat, jablin, jinma. All 5 couples are working under the same company and engfa is the boss. Office comedy sitcom/romcom? Filming in December
Un-trovert - by deemakproduction, writer mentioned they will release the pilot soon and actresses will be revealed soon.
Us (emi bonnie) - an artist is in love with her bro's gf and they fall in love. Currently filming. Q23. rumored to air January 18?
Whale Store XOXO (milklove) - announced at gmm 2025’s event, adaptation of @/SLeopard27 book. Pilot trailer on gmmtv’s youtube. Projected to start filming in the first quarter of 2025 but not confirmed
+When We Met/Fireworks of Yesteryear- chinese GL short series
Yes Maybe No - based on the classic 2010 Thai GL film yes or no but as a series, announced by hollywoodqueen. Casting
* Taste - potential GL side couple? one31 show from producers 5x6house and creator of 2015 series “Hormones”. in one31’s 2025 lineup. looks like it could be the 2025 version of “Hormones”?
* another MGI/Miss Grand GL up for production?
* another GL from uprising entertainment with pim and ware? Maybe related to the mafia trilogy?
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What am I celebrating on Father's Day?
Thanks for covering some of my living expenses while I lived with you.
Thanks for making sure I always had something to eat and clean water to drink.
Thanks for providing a room for me in your home.
Thanks for the the anxiety and depression.
Thanks for what is probably ADHD. Thanks for telling me you suspected you had it too, but only when it got so bad I started talking to my doctor about it. I was 25 years old.
Thanks for the child abuse. Thanks for hitting me, locking me out of the house, and throwing my books at me. Thanks for throwing open my door and screaming at me at random times of the day any time to scare me.
Thanks for being emotionally unavailable. Whenever Mom and I would get into an argument, she would always threaten me "just wait until you dad gets home." Not because you would mediate between the two of us, find common ground, and help us reach a compromise. No. You would come into my room, tell me to stop arguing with my mother, she's right and I'm the kid so I need to listen to her, you would ground me for weeks for having an argument in the first place.
By the way, thanks for pushing me so hard academically. I did really well in school, so it'll be funny if I find out I really did have ADHD all this time. You used to ground me if I left the honor roll list, or brought home so much as a C average in any class until around my Junior year of high school or so. I love when y'all were still treating me like I didn't understand anything when I started taking college-level courses in 10th grade. Somehow I was able to keep a part-time job- because I had to in order to pay my bills- and take 6 AP classes my senior year and still managed to stay on honor roll. Were you proud of me? You certainly didn't show it if you were. At least you came to graduation? You are the participation award of fathers.
You never even wanted to participate in my hobbies. My very few extracurriculars. I could probably count on one hand the number of plays you came to see. You didn't care- you weren't interested. It had nothing to do with supporting me, it would be boring to you so you wouldn't go.
Thanks for making me stay as quiet as possible while at home. Couldn't even practice my recorder in elementary school because it was "too loud." Yet you would watch movies in the living room with the bass booming.
Thank you for making me start working during the summer when I was in high school. I really appreciate the leg up it gave me work-ethic wise over my peers, and who wouldn't want a part-time job at a pizza place? What I didn't like was how you both then started pushing bills on to me when I should've been saving for college- which you never helped with. Picking up something like my phone bill was fine and a good way to teach responsible money habits.
But then you started charging me rent. A third of the total house expenses as a matter of fact. $500 a month, for: one 10 x 10 bedroom, right next to yours, that I was constantly berated for being too loud in, with a shared bathroom. The living room was for you guys. The other two bedrooms and the converted garage connected to the laundry room with the half bath were all used for storage, because you and Mom are both hoarders. You also put me in charge of my own food purchases, to be kept in a mini fridge in my bedroom. There was no room in the fridge or freezer- you keep it loaded with junk. I also had limited kitchen access, not that I knew how to cook anyway. Thank God I had been staying at my girlfriend's place and her mom took pity on me- she allowed me to store frozen foods in their freezer, where they somehow made enough space for me to keep a few things, despite having twice as many people in the house. They also helped me afford a car. And a lot of other important things. I married her daughter. It ended up being one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I am not a materialistic person, so I don't hold this as much against you as much I am just generally appreciative of them, but you weren't financially prepared to raise a child, were you? There were no savings. No help. I was supposed to go out into the world and start from scratch at the age of 17. Full time job and full time student balanced right out of high school. That's cool and all. But that doesn't strike me as something a loving, caring, thoughtful father would do. No, you opened up a joint account with your crusty bank because I almost traveled across the country to go to college, and when I was out of town and the rent was due, you sent me a text saying you knew I could pay it because you checked my account and I had enough. You transferred the money without asking when I was hundreds of miles from home, and all I can say is I'm grateful my best friend's parents were generous and kind to me, because I'm not sure how I would've gotten food that week without them.
I think about you a lot. I want to forgive you. I'm sure you feel these emotions too. You don't understand how to express them. Your generation looked down upon people who need therapy. I know you have unresolved trauma that nobody else knows about but mom and my grandmother. I know your dad left you at a young age. He's shitty and I know life was harder for you as a result. Honestly sometimes seeing how he turned out makes me wonder whether that was for better or worse. The boyfriend that came after him was pretty bad too. From what I've heard, he was just straight up abusive and I can only imagine the effect that had on you. Either way you deserved to have a father figure. Is it selfish for me to say that?
Thanks for keeping my sister a secret from me for years. I still don't know her name. Maybe I'll meet her someday. Mom was the one that ended up telling me about her- I think she still resents that you gave another woman a child years before her, doubly so because of the following miscarriages. Good on you for paying child support. However, this is where I really get upset.
Did you really not have enough self awareness to realize the damage that you can cause by putting a woman and a child in that kind of position? I would think that you, out of all people, would understand the kinds of difficulties that a father walking out of a family would cause. You idiot. Are you absolutely clueless? How could you live your whole life, feel all the ways that you do, meet a woman, get her pregnant, and think that the right role model to follow in this instance was your father? Did you learn nothing?
But coming at you from this angle won't help at all. This would just make you upset. You shut down, stop listening. You want the patience that you never gave.
I think that you once thought I hated you or that I wanted you dead. That's not true. I love you. Deep down I want to have a relationship with you. I mourn the lack of connection and that's why it's so sour when I see you for a couple of hours every few months. Seeing you is like seeing a grumpy old friend. You don't text, you don't call. You do not know how to make someone feel loved. You never learned that skill.
It's agonizing to have to sit and pretend that everything is okay. It's very damaging to my mental health. But how do I even begin to talk about any of this with you? Again you have no communication skills. I have just begun to develop my own, and I had to do it independently of you. Unfortunately Mom didn't help much either. She's another story entirely.
I feel guilty that I even have these feelings about you. Some people don't even know their dads. A lot of people have it way worse than me. I'm just complaining. But I deserve to complain every once in a while.
I don't know where to go from here. Every time I see you, I have to look you in the eye and act like everything is okay. I keep hoping one of these days I'll get a call from you. A text message. Maybe you'll find my email address somewhere. I want you to open up this conversation. I don't know how to bring it up. Maybe I'll figure it out in therapy. Haven't told y'all that I mostly talk about you when I go.
I remember when I told you I started going. The only thing you said was "therapy's really expensive." And you're right, it is. But this cycle of generational trauma stops with me. You always told me I knew better, that I was too smart to be lazy and I wasn't applying myself. Well here you go. I used my resources to figure out why all the men in my family are awful people, develop the skills necessary to balance those weaknesses, and lay plans for the future that include financial stability, effective communication, mutual respect, and loving my family so much that nobody can deny it.
If you get your act together, I might let you meet your grandkids. Happy Father's Day.
#personal#long#father's day#dad#rant#I really do want to have a relationship with you#But you make it so difficult for me#Maybe I should just shut up and be grateful I had a dad in the first place#In a way you technically did better than your predecessor#But I am cursed with knowledge#And I know I have so much more work to do#Especially if I am to undo the damage you have done#I don't think I'll ever be satisfied
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