#But you make it so difficult for me

[ionomycin]

my favorite pieces from 2024

[ruporas]

trigunned the hades or hadesed the trigun (id in alt)

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[abyssal-ilk]

thinking about sten again. thinking about him calling the warden kadan and never explaining what it means. thinking about him offering to take the warden back with him to par vollen, but it's never actually an option the warden takes, even if you agree. thinking about how sten responds the best to a warden who stands their ground even if he doesn't agree with them. thinking about how he loves sweets and art, and how he plays with kittens. "it's training," he says. but come on. he's playing. thinking about what else he's had to justify to himself for liking.

and he calls alistair kadan! shale as well! do you think it was ever extended to the other party members? just,, agh

[kamiraaah]

TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!

⚠️⚠️First of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!⚠️⚠️ Given that warning...

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!

The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice… Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents… Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as much…

The Hunt family is a mystery to many.

The members of this family are… Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.

Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...

But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.

Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son… The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"… who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can… Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!

AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little… I'm going as fast as I can!🫠

I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! 😚

[popowerst]

What am I celebrating on Father's Day?

Thanks for covering some of my living expenses while I lived with you.

Thanks for making sure I always had something to eat and clean water to drink.

Thanks for providing a room for me in your home.

Thanks for the the anxiety and depression.

Thanks for what is probably ADHD. Thanks for telling me you suspected you had it too, but only when it got so bad I started talking to my doctor about it. I was 25 years old.

Thanks for the child abuse. Thanks for hitting me, locking me out of the house, and throwing my books at me. Thanks for throwing open my door and screaming at me at random times of the day any time to scare me.

Thanks for being emotionally unavailable. Whenever Mom and I would get into an argument, she would always threaten me "just wait until you dad gets home." Not because you would mediate between the two of us, find common ground, and help us reach a compromise. No. You would come into my room, tell me to stop arguing with my mother, she's right and I'm the kid so I need to listen to her, you would ground me for weeks for having an argument in the first place.

By the way, thanks for pushing me so hard academically. I did really well in school, so it'll be funny if I find out I really did have ADHD all this time. You used to ground me if I left the honor roll list, or brought home so much as a C average in any class until around my Junior year of high school or so. I love when y'all were still treating me like I didn't understand anything when I started taking college-level courses in 10th grade. Somehow I was able to keep a part-time job- because I had to in order to pay my bills- and take 6 AP classes my senior year and still managed to stay on honor roll. Were you proud of me? You certainly didn't show it if you were. At least you came to graduation? You are the participation award of fathers.

You never even wanted to participate in my hobbies. My very few extracurriculars. I could probably count on one hand the number of plays you came to see. You didn't care- you weren't interested. It had nothing to do with supporting me, it would be boring to you so you wouldn't go.

Thanks for making me stay as quiet as possible while at home. Couldn't even practice my recorder in elementary school because it was "too loud." Yet you would watch movies in the living room with the bass booming.

Thank you for making me start working during the summer when I was in high school. I really appreciate the leg up it gave me work-ethic wise over my peers, and who wouldn't want a part-time job at a pizza place? What I didn't like was how you both then started pushing bills on to me when I should've been saving for college- which you never helped with. Picking up something like my phone bill was fine and a good way to teach responsible money habits.

But then you started charging me rent. A third of the total house expenses as a matter of fact. $500 a month, for: one 10 x 10 bedroom, right next to yours, that I was constantly berated for being too loud in, with a shared bathroom. The living room was for you guys. The other two bedrooms and the converted garage connected to the laundry room with the half bath were all used for storage, because you and Mom are both hoarders. You also put me in charge of my own food purchases, to be kept in a mini fridge in my bedroom. There was no room in the fridge or freezer- you keep it loaded with junk. I also had limited kitchen access, not that I knew how to cook anyway. Thank God I had been staying at my girlfriend's place and her mom took pity on me- she allowed me to store frozen foods in their freezer, where they somehow made enough space for me to keep a few things, despite having twice as many people in the house. They also helped me afford a car. And a lot of other important things. I married her daughter. It ended up being one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I am not a materialistic person, so I don't hold this as much against you as much I am just generally appreciative of them, but you weren't financially prepared to raise a child, were you? There were no savings. No help. I was supposed to go out into the world and start from scratch at the age of 17. Full time job and full time student balanced right out of high school. That's cool and all. But that doesn't strike me as something a loving, caring, thoughtful father would do. No, you opened up a joint account with your crusty bank because I almost traveled across the country to go to college, and when I was out of town and the rent was due, you sent me a text saying you knew I could pay it because you checked my account and I had enough. You transferred the money without asking when I was hundreds of miles from home, and all I can say is I'm grateful my best friend's parents were generous and kind to me, because I'm not sure how I would've gotten food that week without them.

I think about you a lot. I want to forgive you. I'm sure you feel these emotions too. You don't understand how to express them. Your generation looked down upon people who need therapy. I know you have unresolved trauma that nobody else knows about but mom and my grandmother. I know your dad left you at a young age. He's shitty and I know life was harder for you as a result. Honestly sometimes seeing how he turned out makes me wonder whether that was for better or worse. The boyfriend that came after him was pretty bad too. From what I've heard, he was just straight up abusive and I can only imagine the effect that had on you. Either way you deserved to have a father figure. Is it selfish for me to say that?

Thanks for keeping my sister a secret from me for years. I still don't know her name. Maybe I'll meet her someday. Mom was the one that ended up telling me about her- I think she still resents that you gave another woman a child years before her, doubly so because of the following miscarriages. Good on you for paying child support. However, this is where I really get upset.

Did you really not have enough self awareness to realize the damage that you can cause by putting a woman and a child in that kind of position? I would think that you, out of all people, would understand the kinds of difficulties that a father walking out of a family would cause. You idiot. Are you absolutely clueless? How could you live your whole life, feel all the ways that you do, meet a woman, get her pregnant, and think that the right role model to follow in this instance was your father? Did you learn nothing?

But coming at you from this angle won't help at all. This would just make you upset. You shut down, stop listening. You want the patience that you never gave.

I think that you once thought I hated you or that I wanted you dead. That's not true. I love you. Deep down I want to have a relationship with you. I mourn the lack of connection and that's why it's so sour when I see you for a couple of hours every few months. Seeing you is like seeing a grumpy old friend. You don't text, you don't call. You do not know how to make someone feel loved. You never learned that skill.

It's agonizing to have to sit and pretend that everything is okay. It's very damaging to my mental health. But how do I even begin to talk about any of this with you? Again you have no communication skills. I have just begun to develop my own, and I had to do it independently of you. Unfortunately Mom didn't help much either. She's another story entirely.

I feel guilty that I even have these feelings about you. Some people don't even know their dads. A lot of people have it way worse than me. I'm just complaining. But I deserve to complain every once in a while.

I don't know where to go from here. Every time I see you, I have to look you in the eye and act like everything is okay. I keep hoping one of these days I'll get a call from you. A text message. Maybe you'll find my email address somewhere. I want you to open up this conversation. I don't know how to bring it up. Maybe I'll figure it out in therapy. Haven't told y'all that I mostly talk about you when I go.

I remember when I told you I started going. The only thing you said was "therapy's really expensive." And you're right, it is. But this cycle of generational trauma stops with me. You always told me I knew better, that I was too smart to be lazy and I wasn't applying myself. Well here you go. I used my resources to figure out why all the men in my family are awful people, develop the skills necessary to balance those weaknesses, and lay plans for the future that include financial stability, effective communication, mutual respect, and loving my family so much that nobody can deny it.

If you get your act together, I might let you meet your grandkids. Happy Father's Day.

[slfcare]

the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.

[vaguely-concerned]

for what it's worth I personally don't believe spite had anything to do with the pantry near-kiss experience at all. I think that was a 100% lucanis naturel disaster no supernatural additives present or indeed required. at most spite was watching that whole situation go down with mild puzzlement about approximately every part of it, I don't think he'd have much interest in it one way or the other. the explanation seems much more mundane and grounded and in some ways much sadder to me.

if your nervous system has never been in a place where any surge of emotion, even -- in fact sometimes especially! -- a good and exciting one makes you feel like your soul just touched a hot stove it can't get away from, then sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and without a trace of snark, thank goodness and I hope you never experience it. For the rest of you... fistbump of solidarity it's rough out here but *grits teeth* we stay silly etc. In the place lucanis is in during that part of the game, feeling like you're losing control (again even for ostensibly good happy reasons) can feel an awful lot like you're dying, or worse. on top of everything else going on for him -- again going only with non-supernatural elements and not even comprehensive: a year of non-stop horrific trauma added to pile of previous mountain of childhood and attachment trauma. chronic sleep deprivation. apparently dead grandma doubling as mother figure. cousin-brother aggressively fucking around and in real danger of finding out. fucked up the ONE thing he thought he knew how to do that's been the central pillar of his identity. the world might be ending even more than it already was because of it. keeps faceplanting with barely any dignity and having to get up again with alarming regularity GOD how could I ever not save treviso this man desperately needs a W (just one!!) like few people in the history of the world have before him. he's more caffeine than man because the alternative feels worse. it's bad in here. and ON TOP of all that he's in the process of falling just. appallingly soul-shrivingly in love, which can notably be playing on hard mode even when you're in a mostly functional place, that shit routinely rocks people to the core under the best of circumstances.

so I'm not surprised it's too overwhelming for him to handle when he tries to throw himself in head first -- in fact I'd have been more surprised if it weren't lol. he clearly wants it so much, which only makes it so much more painful that he can't actually bear to touch it when it's offered to him freely and eagerly. this is the tantalus-level awfulness of this kind of attachment trauma; food seems to be right there, you can see it, almost smell it sometimes, but no matter what you just can't seem to reach it. seemingly not for any flaw in the existence of the food, but because of something broken in you that can't or can't bear to actually eat. his deliberate flirting routine is kind of deeply dorky tbh lol (in the most endearing way possible let's be perfectly clear) and I don't think it's entirely natural to him -- that's a hastily cobbled together 'oh god I am getting the vibes here it is happening for some reason they like me for my personality quick what would illario do' approach if ever I saw it, supported by the fact that it never really makes a return after this --

BUT I do think his obvious near-unbearable delight with rook's existence and person that shines through in that scene is entirely real and unfeigned. he likes them so much. he wants so bad to be able to be close to them. he's so hungry for the reprieve and release and relief they represent to him, just for one moment, just one break from all the awfulness to have something uncomplicatedly good. and it's here, it's been offered, he's welcome!!! and he has to flinch away at the last minute anyway because he's an exposed nerve of a human being. there's a point at which every sensation including joy becomes indistinguishable from agony. he's pretty much exactly at that point. for the love of god have some mercy on him people. the feeling that salvation is right here but you're too broken a vessel to hold it is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. let him have a few moments to stare into the void before he's ready to get back up and try again surely we all deserve at least that much lol

[darkxsoulzyx]

So, back around 2022-2023, I had to explain to a BUNCH of friends what exactly is/was the Undertale/UTMV fandom. It was hard to explain AUs of AUs… of multiverses… to people which weren’t there to personally experience the transition?

A lot of these stories and ideas just stems from people getting inspired off of other people, and kind of building up from there. However, if you weren’t really there for the natural progression of that… the fandom will kind of seem like… a lot (even though it kind of is ^^ the rabbit hole runs deep…).

So, I tried my hand at semi-making a “comprehensive” guide to how I see the layers of the fandom ^^” (in a silly, not-so-serious way).

The deeper you go into this fandom, the harder it sometimes gets to even leave 💀

Anyways, tag yourself, I’m stuck in Hell 7 🕺

(note: please don’t take this entirely too seriously! I just used this as a way to make the entirety of the fandom slightly more digestible, instead of me yapping for hours in a pseudo lecture about the history of the fandom).

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[xx-sketchy-xx]

Lol, is this cursed, or wonderful?

btw on the asks, I’ll try and answer, but I have a lot of people asking for oc drawings, and was thinking of setting up commissions.

[southern--downpour]

[carlyraejepsans]

it's not that I don't think papyrus would dress gnc, I don't think HE thinks he dresses gnc. like you casually bring it up one day while complimenting his new skirt and he corrects you because "AS YOU CAN SEE, I WROTE "COOL DUDE" ON IT WITH A MARKER."

[saltpepperbeard]

is this anything

[iwouldliketoeatrandy]

Inspired by this post, I wanted to fancast Iron Widow! I really liked these picks, especially Nini who would do a great job as Wu Zetian, but didn't want to just copy and paste.

Li Meng as Wu Zetian

She was a wonderfully cruel and charismatic villain in The Double and I would love to see her rage and passion in Wu Zetian's character.

Yu Shi as Li Shimin

Ok listen I think he's handsome, but also he could do it.

Tan Jian Ci as Gao Yizhi

For our wealthy scholar. His 2023 and 2024 characters were polar opposites characterization wise, and I'd love to see him continue to challenge himself with a unique character like Yizhi.

[quirinah]

ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??