#100talberts eve

[100talberts]

Ladies, your man is always right, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently, Nicole had begun to date a boy with a foul and disgusting hairstyle - the mohawk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was very displeased with this, but Jeb allowed it because of the cross on the boy’s shirt indicated he was leaving behind a heathen lifestyle to find Christ!!!!!!!!

Well... Jeb was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everybody is human, and sometimes mistakes are made - we just need to be glad and thank God for showing us our errors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But this post isn’t about that hideous punk, it’s about some good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing is confirmed juuust yet, but I will say that Nicole’s been getting to know a special young man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although Nicole and him aren’t officially courting, I still thank God that she found a male to speak with at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll be praying that Nicole finds her God-given headship in this respectable, Godly man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

32 notes on this post

mrspastorjoshuabunch 13m

Send my congrats to Nikki! :] But gosh, so sad about her ex! What did he do?

100blessings 8m

That’s between Jeb and Brody!!!!!!!!!!!!

applesintheevening 6m

@.100blessings Wasn’t his name Brady? If you didn’t like him, you should just say so.

100blessings 4m

@.applesintheevening How dare you!!!!! I just don’t like to gossip!!!!!!!!!

onmyniconicokneesforjesus 2m

@.mrspastorjoshuabunch @.applesintheevening he was a drunk lol

100blessings 1m

@.onmyniconicokneesforjesus He was a WHAT!??!?!!??!?!?!?!! Nicole, meet me in the dining room - we need to talk about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[100talberts]

(TL;DR Christina learns about Eve going to Uni and gets mad.)

The most horrible thing happened at church today!!

I noticed a new family at church, so naturally I just had to say hello!! I politely introduced myself, and when I did the oldest of the women gave me quite a stink eye!!! I was troubled by her unGodly behavior, then worried when she asked me if I was related to Eve Talbert!!! Aside from Eve’s horrible, stubborn refusal to have children during the first few years of her marriage, I couldn’t possibly imagine what had happened for a complete stranger to act so hostile!!!

That’s when she began to tell me off for letting my daughter attend university!!! I had done no such thing, and told her so, but she insisted!!

I called Eve right away and learned the terrible truth: she had gone against His will and went to University!!! This woman - apparently the mother of a dormmate of Eve’s - was correct!!! I cannot express the horror and shame I feel, knowing that I raised a daughter that put her Satan-idolizing desires before God’s perfect and holy plan for her!!! She argued that, since she has four kids and is pregnant, she is following His plan, but that’s rubbish!! God didn’t create women for University, where their brains are washed with the Devil’s hand soap of feminism!!!

Zinnia piped up to ask if there really were universities that accepted women!! The mere fact that she was interested enough to ask set off several red flags!!! I made it very clear that any school that allowed women to learn was founded by a Satanist aiming to destroy God’s family unit by destroying women, and any girl that went would come out far worse for it!!!

I could hardly stand to stay there, sitting by that judgemental, gossipy woman, but I would never leave a place of worship during active worship!! In times of strife, we must place ourselves as close to Him as possible and listen to every word He says!!! I was right where I needed to be, and I paid rapt attention to the night’s sermon!!! I pray for God to give our family peace while dealing with this tragedy, and pray that Eve’s soul wasn’t damned in the process!!!

[100talberts]

In their free time, Daniel and Eve play chess. I was worried about this at first, afraid that chess would be too intellectual and masculine for a sweet, docile woman of God like Eve, but after much prayer Jeb and I decided to allow it. As long as Eve stays in the home and knows that cooking, cleaning, and child raising come first, there’s nothing wrong with games once in a while :-)

Ann loves to invite Meagan over. It warms my heart to see such a Godly and wholesome friendship <3 I encourage them to spend time together now since they likely won’t have much free time as wives and mothers. Sad, but it’s a sacrifice us women must make to live our lives in a Godly and fulfilling way!!

They’re declaring themselves Best Friends Forever!! They celebrated with a hug - making sure they left room for Jesus!!! Even two women must be careful to avoid unholy embraces, or else the Devil may strike lesbianism into their hearts!!!!! I’m happy to see Ann and her gal pal follow God’s guidelines :-)

[100talberts]

(3rd person update)

Once Christina and Jeb were stuck at the hospital, the Talbert children went “wild”.

Betty and Marvin *gasp* hugged before marriage!!

Harvey drank directly from the punch bowl while Glenn and Kayla stole a bunch of food.

Christian invited Tyrell over, and the two talked about things other than Jesus! They even spoke to... a working woman! Who was wearing pants!!1!!!1

Julie danced.

Lovell stole the microphone and started singing. Luckily, Irene was able to crank up the volume on that violin.

Daniel eavesdropped on everybody to make sure nothing suspicious was going on. Which is what he normally does, and is entirely Christina-approved, so... good job not going off the Jesus rails, Daniel.

Eve, however, brazenly spoke to unmarried young men without a chaperone!

Naomi crawled outside and napped on some leaves. Again, not wild or reckless even by Talbert standards, but somebody should really have kept an eye on the toddlers or something.

Ann certainly didn’t. Her and Max are both Romantic, so they were much too busy playing tonsil hockey to notice anything going on around them.

At one point, she wasn’t even around to witness most of it.

Abigail, however, was present for the entire reception, so it’s only a matter of time before some of this gets back to Christina...

[100talberts]

Another 3rd person update!

Christina leaves the bulk of the chores to her daughters, leaving her with plenty of time to arrange flowers, complain that she’s the only one pulling her weight in this golly gosh darned household, and be completely oblivious to things like...

...Christian getting back on his Tyrell bullshit. Although I never posted about it, as kids they hung out enough to max their friendship bar (thanks to mccc, it’s still maxed lmao). Christian likes to lead strangers to Jesus, but his biggest goal is leading Tyrell to Jesus. Unfortunately for him, every time does Tyrell wants to hang out with him less and less.

...and Eve reading a Logic skill book. Christina believes that only men should take book-reading seriously, and if she saw Eve put genuine effort into learning then she would have a fit.

(Also, that’s Betty’s painting in the background. She called it Bold and Brash, Christina called it Belongs Above The Trash.)

[100talberts]

(a/n: not to become some sort of third person story blog, but uhhhh I’m gonna start including a few omniscient third person sort of posts between Christina’s Mommy Blog!!! posts. I’ll probably write things like “because that’s what Godly women are meant to do”, but that’s to reflect their thoughts and not my beliefs.

There’s 16 pictures total. Instead of making a super long post, I put 9 here and will put 7 in a “Part Two” post. In both cases, the bulk will be under a Read More.)

 That morning, as Eve went to make breakfast, Daniel stopped her and gave her a gift.

 “It will protect you from Satan invading your mind,” he whispers.

 It’s a necklace. Eve remembers Daniel making two of them at church last night. She also remembers him hanging up a bunch of crosses and lighting candles underneath his bed “to protect from Satan”.

This behavior concerns Eve. Not because he’s trying to protect himself from Satan - she thinks that’s perfectly rational - but because of the frequency and urgency he’s doing it with. 

 “Thank you,” she whispers back. “Is... you know... Satan in yours?”

 Daniel glares at the archway to the kitchen as if it’s Eve’s fault he chose to talk to her there. “Not here,” he hisses. “People are listening. Meet me behind the apple tree after your chores.”

 Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Irene is making breakfast. She can hear Eve and Daniel talking, but as the ninth child she’s learned how to zone that shit out. All she cares about is breakfast: vegetable dumplings. It’s all she knows how to make. Betty’s the only other person that eats them.

 In the dining room, Ann changes Lovell’s diaper. She’s always the one changing diapers and bathing toddlers. She knows that, as a woman of Christ, she’ll be doing this for the rest of her life.

 Her thoughts turn to the children she’ll have one day, and then to the man she’ll have them with.

 The courtship between Ann and Maximilian is going well. He’s Godly and knows how to be a strong and masculine head of the household. Ann appreciates those virtues, but she mostly appreciates his dreamy blue eyes.

 Ann could spend hours dreaming about watching him as he woodworks and fishes, and she does. Ann does her best to deny daydreams of premarital touches so her thoughts stay chaste, but as a future Romantic it isn’t always easy.

 Outside, Betty digs through the garbage for leftovers. She’s had vegetable dumplings for breakfast every day since Irene started cooking and now she’s finally cracking.

 She finds oatmeal, and gleefully digs in while praising the Lord that she’s able to eat something that isn’t a goddamn dumpling.

The only thing worse than Christina catching Betty is Ann catching Betty. Ann chews Betty out and promises to tell on her. Betty regrets being alive.

[100talberts]

I would like to announce the birth of Julie Talbert!!! Now we have five boys and five girls... wonder what number 11 will be!!!!

Is there anything as rewarding as watching God’s glorious plan in action? Our young women are becoming such skilled homemakers!!! Despite her face in this picture, Eve’s taken to cooking - her first ever breakfast was Excellent quality!!! I know she’ll be wowing her husband and children with her meals one day!!!

The table is filling up fast now that we have so many children!!!! A blessing and a burden all at once, L.O.L.!!! I’ll have to think of something before the triplets age up!!

Speaking of the triplets, I relish every opportunity to teach them about their Lord and Savior <3 They’re still very little, so I explain it in ways their young minds can understand.

I’m so proud of little Daniel! Jeb and I thought Christian would be the handy one, but Daniel surprised us!!! Where is Christian, anyways...?

[100talberts]

Praise the Lord!!! We were given our first set of twins!!! The handsome one is Daniel and the beautiful one is Eve :-) I can’t wait to see what God has in store for their lives!!!!

I would also like to announce that Ann has finally learned to embrace God’s gifts with a cheerful heart! She was delighted to meet the twins and I trust that she’ll be joyous to meet any other blessings God gives our family!!!! 

[100talberts]

Ann is such a good sister!!! She taught Lovell how to walk before I even realized it was his second birthday!!!

Imagine my surprise when a strange boy appeared asking for Frank!! Turns out, his name is Rodney Bishop and he’s a friend of Frank’s from church!! I’m absolutely delighted to see our little ones forming Godly bonds!!!!! Apparently, Frank and Rodney are Best Friends Forever!!!!

Daniel is a gift that keeps on giving!! He’s gone from fixing broken plumbing to upgrading working plumbing!!! I'm so proud of him for learning an important life skill before he’s even a teenager!!!!

I had hoped that, with Daniel too busy to play with her, Eve would focus more of her time on learning her important life skills!! But instead of cleaning or potty training, she started playing with Glenn instead!!!! I hear Glenn has the unfortunate habit of flipping the chess table over in a rage, so I hope that will convince Eve that potty training the littles is a better use of her time!!!

Irene’s taking up gardening!!! She has quite the interest in growing and arranging flowers, just like her mama!!! I think this is a God-given opportunity to spend time with her and teach her about the meek and obedient spirit God wants her to have!!!!!! Pray it goes well!!!!

[100talberts]

Is there any better way to honor our Lord and Savior than by reading His good book? After Jeb’s parents arrived (and a small detour when I birthed little Tanny!!), we sat in the living room and read scripture!!! It was truly a blessed moment where we could come together as a family and celebrate the true reason for the season!!!

Later on, Kayla and Eve made us a special Christfest dinner!!!

We had to add an extra table to fit everyone!!

From the day God crafted me in my mother’s womb, I knew He wanted me to have a big and happy family!!! Everything I have ever done, I did to serve Him and His goal for my life!!! As I sit at the head of my own dinner table, watching all generations of my family unite under God, I truly feel as if I have achieved what He wanted for me!!! I will still try for 100 children, but I feel as if God has put on my heart that He will be pleased with my life’s work even if I don’t make it <3 Amen!!!!!!

[100talberts]

Ten children is a milestone that only comes once in your lifetime, and Jeb and I decided to honor it with a family portrait! It’s hard to keep ten little ones from getting distracted, but I think we did alright :-) I thank God every day for the ten blessings he’s given me and I pray we will have many more!!! Amen!!!

(Top to bottom, left to right:

Christina Talbert, Jebidiah Talbert

Ann Talbert, Betty Talbert, Christian Talbert, Daniel Talbert, Eve Talbert

Frank Talbert, Glenn Talbert, Harvey Talbert, Irene Talbert, Julie Talbert)

[100talberts]

Nothing in the world makes a mother sadder or prouder than watching her little ones grow up!!! Now that Kayla’s old enough to cook, Eve’s teaching her how!!! It’s such wonderful, sisterly bonding and I’m sure a great chef like Eve will teach Kayla how to wow her husband one day!!! They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, L.O.L.!!!

I’m so blessed to have a hardworking son like Daniel!! He made two more planters for the garden!!! Bless his spirit <3

Like Kayla, Julie’s starting to take on more responsibility!!! This was the first time she was able to do laundry without one of her big sisters helping her!!!! She’s growing into a talented homemaker and I couldn’t be prouder!!!

[100talberts]

10 children will take their toll on your body, so Jeb allowed me to buy a treadmill. It’s important that a wife stays desirable to her husband!! I hope to expect baby 11 after I’ve slimmed down a little ;)

Thank God for sweet Ann! As soon as she was old enough, she bathed her younger siblings!! I’m truly blessed to have such a good future mommy as my daughter!!!!

The twins still find time to hang out even in these busy days, L.O.L.!!! I’m glad they’re devoting their time to honing their God-given skills instead of playing games!!!

[100talberts]

((Christina and eleven goddamn kids spend money faster than Jeb makes it, so he took his boys fishing under the ruse of Manly Godly Father-Sons Bonding. It’s the most attention they’ve ever received from Jeb, so they just kinda went with it.

Eve has some ideas of her own. She’s been collecting the gems and minerals that appear during storms and she’s wondering if there’s more outside the lot. Christina would flip her shit if she saw Eve OUTSIDE, DIGGING, like some kind of MAN, but three four-year-olds will keep a bitch busy.

Eve finds a Fossilized Sea Monster, which she sells to Israel Keene for ten bucks.

Meanwhile, Ann takes up babysitting. I think her face says it all.))

[100talberts]

((University was incredibly long, so I’m just going to do a summary of the biggest things that happened below the cut, with a few pics for ~flavor~.

Eve’s first roommate was Mia, a non-religious girl. They disliked each other at first, but after Mia followed Eve to the library Eve decided that Convert Mia To Jesus was her new goal. Mia slowly took to it and the girls became good friends by the end of the first term. Mia slid back towards her secular ways after she stopped living in the dorm, but Eve continues to hang out with her and push her back towards God.

Glenn spent most of his free time begging Nicola to dump Frank. Nicola admits she would rather be dating Glenn, but refuses to do anything about it because her father wouldn’t like it.

Daniel’s roommate in the second term, Coleman Duncan, had the EmoLoner archetype and Daniel bonded with him over crying and praying to Jesus to remove the Devil’s Sadness from their hearts.

This happened a lot. I usually ignored it, but sometimes I made a remark about Quaffle being in the room. Sometimes.

One of the girls, Yuna, became friends with Daniel and Eve.

Near the end of the second term, Glenn learns that Frank has the audacity to plan a proposal the day after end of term. Glenn leaves after completing the term to cockblock that shit.

That’s the story, but in reality Glenn was somehow a term ahead of Daniel and Eve and I needed an excuse for why he wasn’t present in the third term.

Anyways, Glenn rushes to Windenburg to steal Frank’s girlfriend.

He actually does. It’s not a big twist, because we already know that Nicola is an asshole that wants to bone Glenn. The two move to StrangerVille, because the entire ordeal put them on horrible terms with the Templeton family + Daniel and Eve.

Back in University, the third term starts. Yuna is Eve’s roommate now, and Eve takes the opportunity to “help” Yuna with her “weight problem”.

I was pretty tired of Uni by the third term, so I pretty much sped through until graduation. They all graduated with As and the twins got graduation pictures for their troubles.

This may not seem like a lot, but there was a bunch of shit I skipped over (Cordell visiting almost every evening, Glenn raging over a radio, a roommate leaving a note about Eve that gets blown out of proportion, “back in the dorms, Glenn’s suspicion that Rangi is a dick is proven correct”, a roommate flirting with Daniel, “bros before hoes in the eyes of Jesus”, a streaker, etc).

I’m not sure how much of this will be referenced again, but it happened so I want to put it on the blog.

[100talberts]

((I feel like some of the “stories” of the older kids were never completed, so for a bit I’m going to hop between your regularly scheduled Christina posts and this. It’s mostly going to be a summary of what happened after they left the house.

Christian and Frank moved into a cheap ~Sin Myshuno~ apartment. The boys work hard - Christian as a Clickbait Writer and vlog “star”, Frank as a no-name actor in a Salty Suds commercial - and, after ranking in some more money, they transformed their sad little apartment into...

A sad little apartment with a TV (and couch)! It’s all they need to be happy, and they’re happy.

Frank spends a lot of time communicating with Nicola. As more time passed, he became convinced she was the woman God created for him and he openly admits that he wants to propose as soon as he can get back to Brindleton.

Daniel and Frank enrolled in college, of course, and now Eve has. Her husband, Cordell, believes women can pursue higher education if they wish, they just can’t do anything with their degrees since they can’t work. Eve doesn’t mind never having a career, she loves to learn just to learn. She’s enrolled in a Psychology Degree at Foxbury, entirely because I wanted the three of them in the same household. Guess Eve’s passionate about psychology now.

Daniel somehow landed in Academic Probation while I wasn’t playing him, so I’ll take the time to manually put these dumbasses through college. Next post will be on that.