#100 points if you know what i was inspired by in the opening part of this ficlet lol

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister)?

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

AN: I’ve had this idea for a while but after hearing “The Prophecy” on The Tortured Poets Department I was finally feeling inspired to write it. You guys have no idea how much that album is about to influence my writing. Also I have no idea how this is gonna end lol.

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: smut, unrequited love, situationship, fluff, Lucien is literally and angel I love him sm, did not edit (I am tired)

Word count: 3734

“Please, I've been on my knees. Change the prophecy. Don't want money just someone who wants my company…”

I had known the youngest Vanserra for a while now. I can recall the first time I met him on a lovely day  in the spring court when I was visiting with my brother. The man was more than charming, his words nearly had me buckling at the knees. It was around the same time that I had found out that my brother's close friend Azriel was my mate.

I remember the bond snapping like it was yesterday. We were celebrating solstice in the Hewn City and my feet were nearly black and blue from the amount of drunk men stepping on them while dancing. I was about to ask my brother to take me home when Azriel stepped in and quite literally swept me off my feet. He let me stand on his toes and waltz around the room with him all night to ensure that he himself wouldn’t hurt my feet. At some point in the night the bond snapped and I had never been so happy. 

Azriel and I had been friends for over 100 years and I had secretly harbored feelings for him for at least 75 of them. To have my brother's best friend as my mate felt like fate. I didn’t tell him that night, something I have regretted for the last 400 years. 

Not long after that he rescued Mor and any sparks I thought he felt with me that night were long gone. From that day on all he did was pine for her. I couldn’t blame him, Mor was astonishingly beautiful. For a long time after he saved her I resented her, I felt like she had taken my mate from me. It wasn’t until I realized that she wanted nothing to do with the shadowsinger that my hatred for my cousin dissipated. It wasn’t her fault that Azriel was so smitten with her. It was my fault for not telling him, but now it had been so long since the bond snapped that it seemed weird to bring it up.  

So I sat dutifully by his side whenever  he needed someone to rant to about Mor. It practically ripped out my heart to  hear him talk about how in love with her he was. I was the only person he would open up to like that.  He would spend hours asking me for advice on how to woo her, and I grinned and bore it because, at the end of the day, I got to spend time with him.

I had been playing the girl best friend for hundreds of years. The moment I started to feel like he might be losing feelings for Mor in walked Elain. The beautiful sister of my brother's mate. What's worse? She seemed interested in Azriel as well. 

Elain was easy to hate. Not just for her flirtations with Azriel but for the way she treated Lucien, her mate. Lucien had so much love for the Archeron, and she waved him off without another thought. I might be able to understand her reluctance to accept the bond if Lucien was a brute of a male, but he wasn’t. He was soft, kind and easy on the eyes.

I found him tossing rocks into the Sidra one day, no doubt pining over how Elain had barley even acknowledged the flowers he picked for her. That’s when I told him about Azriel and I’s bond. From that moment on we spent a great deal of time together, ranting about our unaccepted mating bonds. Even though we spent most of the time bitching, there was happiness. More than I had felt in a while. 

Then starfall came…and everything changed. 

“You look far too stunning not to be walking in with a date,” Lucien drawled to me from the outside of the townhouse. 

I had spent all day getting ready for the annual party tonight. My dress was chosen specifically to catch Azriel’s attention, not that I felt like I would succeed. 

“Well finding a date is harder than you think, especially at this hour,” I laugh as I walk through the gate he opened for me. 

“Then indulge me,” he said. I turned to find him offering me an arm. 

“You want to be my date?” I laugh light heartedly, admittedly smitten by the autumn court male. 

“It’s a little last minute but I would be honored to walk into that room with you on my arm,” he said fondly. 

I smiled and shook my head at the male before looping my  arm in his and allowing him to lead me up the steps to the front door. 

“You know, you clean up pretty well Lu,” I cock an eyebrow bumping into him. 

“Thanks, your brother sets a pretty high standard as far as attire for this thing. Who knew he was such a fashionista?” Lucien grins before walking in the door arm and arm with me. I don’t even bother stifling the laugh I let out. 

The room nearly fell silent at our entrance. Sure Lucien and I were close and everyone knew, but they had never seen us like this. Even Az and Elain stopped their oh so intriguing conversation to ogle. I swore I saw anger flit across Elain’s eyes, like she was dead set on owning both Az and Lucien. 

Lucien and I spent the evening as wallflowers, doing our best to stay away from all the happy couples. We had even gotten to the point where we grabbed a bottle of wine off the table and brought it over to our couch, both of us tired of constantly getting up and down for refills. 

It wasn’t until Az and Elain not so subtly got up and walked onto the balcony that we decided we had tortured ourselves enough. We promptly grabbed the bottle of wine and waltzed out of the townhouse not even bothering to say goodbye. I supposed it was that exact bottle that did us in. 

I placed my hand on my apartment door, swaying slightly from the alcohol rushing to my head. Lucein’s hand found my hip, steadying me. While I assured him I would be fine to walk home alone, he insisted he came with me. 

“Thanks,” I laughed unlocking the door. 

“You’re welcome,” he chuckles, wobbling himself. 

“I had a really good time with you tonight,” I say, placing a hand on his chest to steady myself.

“I had a good time too,” he smiled. 

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how close we were. Lucien looked down at me, the moonlight illuminating his face perfectly. The sudden tension between us was broken when he crashed his lips on mine. 

One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was lying bare beneath him as he fucked me like his life depended on it. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to get laid until he was buried inside me. Needless to say I understood why people said the Autumn Court males have fire in their blood. 

That was a year ago and since then Lucien and I had decided to continue seeing each other in secret, both of us needing a way to release built up tension so to say. He often stayed the night and we would spend long hours talking about everything from the books we were reading to politics. The sex was amazing, for both of us, but it was the intimacy that came after that I think we both craved the most. An intimacy I would be seeking out shortly given the current topic of conversation between Azriel and I. 

“Gods the other day she was weaning a light blue dress in the garden and I nearly fell to my knees before her,” Azriel ranted to me. 

He had been going on and on about whether or not he wanted to finally make a move on Elain or not. And as his best friend I had to hear about every word of it.

“I saw it, it was a very pretty dress,” I acknowledge, turning the page of the book I was reading. 

“I swear she blushed when I complimented it too, I think I’m making progress with her,” he went on to say. 

“Maybe you should just put yourself out of your misery and talk to her Az,” I suggested for probably the tenth time. 

“You know I can’t just barrel in there. She’s scared and I’m not going to freak her out even more. She will come to me when she’s ready. If she’s ready. Gods that’s assuming she even likes me,” he rambled. 

I roll my eyes and shut my book so loudly it pulls the shadow singers attention. I give him a pointed look that has him startling back just a bit. 

“I know that she likes you Az,” I deadpan. 

“How can you be sure though?” he asks, throwing his head back on the arm of the couch. 

“Because she would be an idiot not to,” I say with a hint of sadness. 

Azriel looked to be at a loss for words, and I realized my words were much bolder than I had wanted them to be. 

Clearing my throat I set my book down on the side table, knowing it will be waiting for me when I come back to my brother’s tomorrow. I stand and subtly adjust my dress.  

“I have to go, but seriously Az, just tell her,” I say walking over to press a kiss to his forehead. 

As I got to walk away I feel him grab my hand, placing a kiss to my open palm, “Thank you for listening y/n, really.” he says earnestly . 

“Don’t worry  about it Az, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say with a fake smile before setting off towards my modest home. 

When Feyre moved into the townhouse I took it as my queue to move out, knowing my brother and his new mate would want privacy. Of course Rhysand offered me mansions and villas but I was content with a townhouse of my own in the middle of town. Big enough to have my own home library, and small enough to not feel so lonely. 

I make my way down the cobblestone streets, the faelights casting a warm glow on the ground before me. It was late, and many couples were turning in for the night. I could see some cuddled up on their sofa’s through their windows, others were having a nightcap together outside Rita’s. I saw a couple rocking their newborn baby to sleep on the second floor of their home, and for some reason, that was the one that hurt the most to me.

I sighed as I walked up a few steps to my townhouse door. I unlocked the door and was greeted to the smell of jasmine and vanilla and the sound of a cracking fire. I walk up my steps to find Lucien sitting shirtless on my large bed, his hair in a bun at the nape of his neck. The male was the image of relaxation. 

I had given him a key months ago. With the males many jobs, emissary to the night court, ally to Jurian and Vassa,  and liaison to Tamlin, he needed a place to truly call home. For the past 9 months that had been here, with me. I never once objected to his subtle moving in, it was nice to come home to someone waiting for me, sometimes even a homemade meal. For him it was nice to have a  place where he didn’t always have to put on a front. It was a win for both of us. 

“When did you get in?” I ask kicking off my shoes. 

“Just a couple hours ago. How was Azriel duty?” he asked, setting his book down as I began to strip off my cloak and dress leaving me only in my lingerie. It wasn’t uncommon for us to be so casual with one another. 

“Exhausting, did you know that Elain wore a pretty blue dress the other day?” I mocked tossing my clothes into a dirty clothes bin, I noticed his missing shirt was there too.

“Unfortunately yes I did,” he chuckled. “You know what always makes me feel better though?” he smirks. 

“I crawl up the bed towards him, “What?” I smile knowing what the answer will be. 

“You,” he smirks, grabbing my hips and pinning me to the mattress beneath him, his lips pressing to mine. 

“How funny I was about to say the same thing,” I laugh, feeling his lips tickle my neck as he makes his way further down my body. 

His mouth trails the inside of my thighs before sliding my panties down my legs, each brush of his fingers from my hips to my ankles feeling like heaven. The male had been gone for a week, and I was desperate for release. He licks a long stripe up my center, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the top. My back arches off the bed and his hands find my waist to pin me down. I feel his tongue begin to lap at my clit as his fingers slide into me, no doubt finding the pool of wetness waiting there. 

This is what me and Lu had always been good at, reading each other. When he had a stressful day  I always made sure to make him feel good, and when I came back to the house upset he never hesitated to get on his knees for me. There was this unsaid rule that we would always take care of eachother. 

Lucien’s tongue continues lapping my clit as his fingers curl to hit that spot inside of me that had me gasping for air. As I started to feel myself getting closer and closer he removed his mouth from me, drawing his fingers out slowly. One thing about hooking up for a year? You learn to read each other's bodies, and lord did the seventh son of Autumn know how to read mine. 

“Lu!” I cry out frustrated. 

“Shhh my darling,” he coos crawling up my body. “I simply want to cum with you tonight.” he smirked, seething himself inside of me. 

“Oh gods!” I cry feeling him fill me thoroughly. 

He pulls out and thrusts back in causing me to whimper once more. Mor was right about one thing, the autumn court males have fire in their blood and they fuck like it too. 

“I missed you, missed this,” Lucien groans, his face contorted in pleasure as he builds a steady pace. 

“I missed you too Lu,” I say through ragged breaths as he fucks into me like his life depends on it. Apparently the time apart made him needy as well. 

I could hardly speak as he thrust deeper into me, his hands on my waist holding me steady so tha he could hit me as deep as possible. When I felt myself start to clench around him he doubled over, burying his head in my neck as his hips continued to snap into me.

My hands found his back clinging to the flesh there for an anchor, my walls fluttering around him one last time before I fell apart.The sudden sensation had Lucien biting my neck as he came with a low groan. 

We spent a few moments catching our breaths, he pushed up on his arms and moved a stray hair from my face, assessing to see if he had hurt me, just like he always did.  When he found no traces of pain in my face he rolled over, taking me with him so that I was lying on his chest. 

This was always the part I think we both craved the most. The sex was great, amazing even. But I longed for a pair of arms to fall asleep in, and he longed for someone to hold. Meaningless pillowtalk just for fun.

“I mean it, I did miss you,” I sigh circling my arms around his waist. 

“I missed you too, I hate sleeping in the spring court, it’s so cold and dark there now.” Lucien said, staring at the ceiling. 

“How is Tamlin?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Terrible,” he muttered. “I had to talk him into letting me stay.”  He continues playing with the ends of my hair. 

“You’re a good friend for checking in on him though,” I say matter of factly. 

“I still wish I could do more,” he sighs, pulling the covers up on the two of us.

“I understand,” I mutter keeping my head on his chest, staring at the fire that roars next to us. 

A long beat of comfortable silence passes, normally I would fall asleep like this. I would sometimes wake to him being gone, sometimes he would wake to me being gone. Only on weekends would both be able to wake up and go to breakfast together. This was one of those weekends, but instead of falling asleep, Lucien spoke up. 

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, not taking his gaze from the ceiling. 

“Sure,” I reply, waiting for a nonchalant inquiry. It wasn’t the first time he and I had played 20 questions to get to know each other more, though I thought that after a year of it we knew just about everything there was to know about the other. 

“Would you agree that Azriel and Elain are never going to give us a chance?” he asked. 

My heart twinges hearing his name, “Well Az doesn’t know, but even if he did I don’t think he would care. I’m not damsel in distress enough for him.” I snort recalling the unconscious type he has.

“I feel the same about Elain, and there’s something I’ve been thinking about, especially this past week,” he continues still facing the ceiling. 

I prop my head up on his chest wanting to read his face and his eyes flit to me, “Cryptic Vanserra, but go on,” I laugh trying to break the tension. 

“I’ve always been fond of you y/n ever since you visited the spring court all those years ago. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, that admiration has only grown, not to mention you’re a very beautiful female y/n,” he laughs at his own words, a tint of pink dusting his cheek and I can’t help but blush as well. “From the amount of time we’ve been spending together it seems you like me enough, and well…I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he says seemingly avoiding his main point. 

I sit up more, intrigued by his words, “What do you mean Lu?” I inquire. 

“I was wondering if you would like to be Mrs. Lucien Vanserra?” he finally says and my heart nearly stops at the shocking words. “I know I’m not Azriel, but consider me an alternative. I think we could make eachother genuinely happy, maybe help each other enjoy whatever we have left of this miserable life?” he asks, his voice laced with uncertainty. 

I let his words sink in as I stare at the bit of wall behind him. As I consider all that he’s said I realize that he’s right, we do get along. I had spent years trying to find a male to fill the hole Azriel put in my  life, but it always felt wrong. It was as if I was taking someone else’s mate, even when the males didn’t have mates.  It didn’t feel wrong being with Lucien because I knew that his mate also didn’t want anything to do with him. 

I was tired of not always having someone to come home to. Not having someone to go to events with. Not having someone to spend holidays with. Not having someone to call my own. I was tired of being alone, especially since I had been alone for about 400 years, but no longer. 

I smile down at Lucien’s nervous face, “I would be honored to be your wife,” I say. 

“You would?” he beams. 

“I would,” I repeated back to him. “You’re right, we do get along, and I’m tired of being alone too.” 

He presses his lips to mine, both of us smiling into the kiss. We would never fill the sadness of a rejected mating bond, but we would be there for one another. I lay my  head down on his chest again, feeling the sleep come into my eyes. 

“How should we do it?” he asked, tracing shapes on my bare back.

“Hmm,” I thought for a moment. A big wedding seemed odd considering we weren’t mates or anything close to it. Eloping seemed more proper. “I think we should keep it small.”

“Do we tell them?” He ponders the most awkward question.

“We can tell them, but we don’t need to invite them. It can be a modified elopement, they will all know but we can just invite my brother and Feyre, that way we both have family there.” I answer snuggling into his warmth more. 

“By the Cauldron I have to tell your brother I’ve been sleeping with you for over a year,” Lucien said anxiously, running a hand down his face. 

I can’t help but laugh at his stress, “He might be a little mad, but I’m sure Feyre will be so excited about it that he won’t care.” I giggle. 

I feel his body relax under my cheek, no doubt realizing that whatever the High Lady says will be law. He slides a red and gold ring off his pinky finger and slips it onto my left hand. 

“Here, it’s a family ring,” he explains looking at the gaudy ring on  my hand. While it fits on my finger well the jewel on it takes up my whole hand and looks unnatural. “I know I’m not part of the Autumn Court anymore but it’s all I have.” he continues.

“It’s perfect,” I laugh, inspecting the ill-fitting thing, “it’s an outcast just like us.”

Lucien's soft chuckle escapes him as he plants a gentle kiss atop my head. Tomorrow promises its usual dose of chaos, but that's a concern for another day. Tonight, here in bed with my fiancé, though this isn't the life I envisioned, I find myself flooded with a happiness I haven't felt in ages.

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202

[kpoptarotastrology009]

SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS PART-1-

Moon Opposite Mars: When your Moon opposite their Mars, get ready for some serious sparks. Emotional outbursts? Hell yeah. Passionate fights? Alright bet. But the make-up game? Pure fire. This mix is all about those raw, unfiltered feels – the highs, the lows, and everything in between.but before entering the relationship make sure that the love is here because if you go for this relationship based on passion and intensity it may go wrong and be dangerous so make sure to be wise enough to know what are you in Exactly to not end up being abused or bullied or violated and this is specially for the moon person, yeah the passion is there but make sure this passion don't turn sour ok ?

Venus Opposite Mars: When your Venus is opposite their Mars, it’s a classic case of opposites attract. There’s a magnetic pull that’s hard to resist – the kind of attraction that’s intense and all-consuming. But it also leads to some epic clashes. It’s all about balancing that love-hate dynamic, where the passion is real, but so are the conflicts. You might have explosive arguments followed by passionate reconciliations, making this connection as volatile as it is thrilling. And I. Some situation this can be one sided love and it's always the venus person that love the mars person more😭

Moon-Saturn aspects : now hear me out, this synastry aspect always have the same situation: the Saturn person will never feel the moon person emotions like NEVER , let me tell you , it's like the Saturn person feels they can't keep up with the moon person sensitivity, they will see the moon as too sensitive for no reason at some point , in the beginning of the relationship everything is okay but as soon as the moon person become comfortable and open up about their emotions and sensitivity , the Saturn person is out , they just can't do it it's so hard for them to do that specially if you guys don't have compatible moon signs ( even if you have compatible moon signs it's still tuff) but with incompatible moon signs , congratulations you're cooked buddy ain't gonna lie about it , the Saturn person will never love the moon person in 100% way , in every relationship with this aspect they will never love the other person as the moon person expect them to be because theey will always feel like their love should be limited and their emotions should be limited for the moon person , it may last long but the relationship will be soo cold from Saturn side and too sad from the moon side but the thing is that the moon person's emotion is fixed on the Saturn person and they don't wanna leave them at any cost even if the relationship may hurt them and kill them , they don't wanna leave it they would prefer to be dead and never leave the relationship , and broo that's hella toxic , I find this aspect someway or form worst than pluto-moon aspects I said what I said ..

North node conjunct mars : When your North Node conjunct someone else's Mars, it's like you’ve got this dynamic energy propelling you forward. Mars is all about action, drive, and getting things done, while the North Node represents your life’s purpose and the path you’re meant to follow.Imagine having a partner who’s always encouraging you to chase your dreams and take risks. They light a fire under you, pushing you to step out of your comfort zone and go after what you really want. It’s like having someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself sometimes.This connection can be super motivating. If you’ve been feeling stuck or unsure about your direction, their Mars energy can give you that extra kick to start moving. It’s like having a personal cheerleader who’s also ready to kick your butt into gear if you’re slacking.But it’s not just about them pushing you , you also inspire them to channel their energy into something meaningful. It’s a two-way street where you both help each other grow and evolve. Your goals might become more aligned, and you find yourselves working together towards common aspirations.There can be a bit of a challenge too, because Mars can be aggressive and impatient. Sometimes, their way of motivating you might feel a bit too intense or pushy. It's like when a trainer pushes you harder than you’re ready for, which can be overwhelming. But if you can handle the intensity, it leads to significant growth.In relationships, this aspect adds a lot of passion and drive. It’s like you’re both on a mission, whether it’s building a life together, working on projects, or simply pushing each other to be the best versions of yourselves. There’s a sense of purpose and urgency in your connection, making things feel exciting and forward-moving.So, having your North Node conjunct someone’s Mars is like finding that perfect balance between motivation and support, pushing you to achieve greatness together.

Mars square Pluto : so here we go , Mars square Pluto in synastry is like having a relationship with a lot of fireworks, but not always the good kind. Imagine you're constantly butting heads with your partner, like every little thing turns into a massive argument. One of you might always try to dominate the other, leading to a lot of power struggles. It's like you're both trying to steer the ship, but you keep crashing into each other. There’s always this underlying tension, like walking on eggshells, because you never know when the next big blow-up is coming. You might find yourself in situations where jealousy and possessiveness are off the charts, like one of you is always checking the other's phone or getting paranoid about what they’re doing. The arguments can get really heated, with both sides saying things they don't mean, turning minor issues into major drama. On the flip side, the sexual chemistry is intense, almost too intense... This aspect is a wild ride, full of ups and downs, and it can either push you to grow or completely wear you out.

Neptune square mercury : I was asking myself if should I talk about this aspect or not but let's go for it , this aspect is like trying to chat through a haze, Period . You're always missing each other's point, like saying one thing and your partner hears something completely different. Imagine planning a date, but somehow ending up at different places because one of you misread the message. Conversations feel like you're on different wavelengths, almost like talking to someone who's half-listening or daydreaming. It's like trying to get something important across, but they keep drifting off or interpreting it in a way you didn't mean.This can also lead to some sneaky behavior or little white lies. Maybe you feel like your partner isn’t always straight with you, or details get conveniently left out. Picture saying you're out with friends and them imagining a wild party when you’re just chilling at a cafe. The lines between truth and imagination blur, making trust a bit tricky.You might also find yourself feeling disoriented in discussions, like you can’t pin down what they really mean. It's a lot of "Wait, what did you mean by that?" or "I thought you said something else." It can be frustrating because you're always trying to read between the lines and guess what they’re really thinking.

Uranus square ascendant : this feels like you're both trying to find a balance between staying true to yourselves and being open to new ideas and experiences. The Uranus person might push you to step out of your comfort zone, which can be exhilarating but also a bit unsettling. I'm not saying it's a bad aspect but let's say it's a friendship , you and your friend are always on the lookout for the next adventure, constantly pushing each other to try new things and explore new ideas. The Uranus person may bring a sense of freedom and liberation to the friendship, encouraging the Ascendant person to break free from routine and embrace change BUT this can lead to a dynamic and stimulating friendship, it can also create tension, especially if one person feels like the other is pushing them too far out of their comfort zone. AND if it's a romantic relationship this aspect in any type of relationship add excitement for sure whether it sometimes conjunct the MC ( excitement in you career) or the IC ( excitement in your home environment or in your emotions in general) but this aspect can lead to conflicts maybe a lot of conflicts , especially if one person feels like their need for independence is being stifled by the other. It's like trying to find a balance between being true to yourself and being part of a partnership. If not managed well, this aspect can lead to a relationship that feels chaotic and unstable, with both partners feeling like they're never on solid ground.

[soaringwide]

PAC: How to enhance your personal allure and beauty? • Glamour Reading

This reading is meant to dive into your own personal glamour and find ways to magnify the way you appear to others, privately or publicly.

Beauty is about weaving illusions in some ways, but the best lies contain a part of truth. How to weave lies and truths to enhance your expression of beauty is what I'm going to try to uncover today, which is why we're going to look both at your natural abilities and untapped potential.

It's something I've wanted to do for a long time since it's a subject that fascinates me, and wanted to test it out in a tarot spread, so a pick a pile readings seems like a good starting point.

If you'd like a personal reading, I'm in the process of opening my website but in the meantime I'm available through DMs.

As always, this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not apply 100% to you. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 1

Cards: The Hanged Man, Death, The Chariot, Knight of Cups, The Fool, 7 of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

I see someone with a strong, magnetic presence that might be intimidating to some people, giving the vibe of someone who is confident and knows what impression they want to give off. You have a very deliberate style and strong personal allure that might lean into darker types of aesthetic, but it would definitely be ornate, romantic (in the true, dramatic sense of the word) and as far away from minimalism as possible. I see you choosing little elements that others might not notice but that are full of meaning and symbolism for you, like a piece of jewellery, or swapping the color of your shoelace or socks to fit into a vision you have in your head. Wearing hats or headpieces might also be something significant for you. You see your clothes and other visual upgrades as some type of armor you wear to feel stronger, more confident, and make a great impression on people around you. You like being noticed and want people to find you beautiful or stylish, but at the same time have very little regard for established rules and like to bring a twist of change in the way you appear to others. It's like you're already practicing glamour naturally, funnily enough, because I see you magnifying your natural talents already and you definitely are shrouded in some type of glamourized, attractive mystery.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you can draw inspiration from to push yourself even further, i see you as someone who embodies the characteristics of going against expectations when it comes to style and appearances. I get the idea of playing around with gender expression (might not apply to all or be applicable to varying degrees), going against what's commonly assumed to be fitting for your perceived gender to create something unique and different, but it could also simply be about going against common taste. It's about carving out your own path, inspired by yourself and your unique perspective on life, and by extension, on your style and appearance. This is not someone who follows trends and style guides mindlessly, but someone who is not afraid of calling everything into question, in order to incorporate what they choose and add their own unique flair to it. Taste is subjective and it's something you can learn to lean even more into.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I see strong Uranus influence, which was already highlighted in your ideal archetypal influence.

There is an elements to finding joy and pleasure in shocking others a little bit. Letting yourself be completely free with your style expression, but keeping personal enjoyment in mind. The goal is not to shock for the sake of being an obnoxious eccentric, but going to the core of what makes you feel empowered and free and fining the graceful pleasure in it. There is also the idea of weaving some type of illusion so that people can never guess what you're going to do next. I think you have an untapped natural talent for manipulating how others see you a little bit. Right now you focus on your personal magnetism, but you could push that even further and endow yourself in whatever illusion you see fit for the time or situation. I see you being able to work on your appearance like a beautiful work of art, following the vision you have in mind.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, here is what I see.

First of all, it seems that despite all the great things I said about you, deep down, you feel quite inadequate and vulnerable, which is perhaps why you put so much effort into your ''armor''. I've got to tell you that these doubts are only in your mind and that the powers I describe are felt very strongly by others, they might just never say it or only give you a light compliment, which you don't even take into account. You seem to keep these worry very private and assume everyone can sense that when it's not the case. So yeah I definitely see you are already doing sooo much but it's just in your mind you don't see it, which is the first thing you need to focus on. Because I think that these doubts might influence your stylistic choices to some extent, which would be self-sabotaging your natural and ideal strengths. Therefore, you first need to clear out these thoughts and hurts in order to see yourself as others see you, in your highest potential.

Secondly and once you've done that, you definitely are advised to invest further in your appearance, and by that it could be money but also time, effort and energy. I feel like there is a new direction that is available to you, perhaps to switch things up a little or express some things more intensely. In both cases, the very strong message is to be deliberate in your vision and keep your eyes on this. I think you already do it to some extent, but here we're talking about Glamour, glamour, like, it's not enough to pick a pair of earrings or the color of your top, you need to focus on what it is the impact you want to have on others is, and how to best achieve that, keeping in mind the strong Uranian influences about being your own Icon and breaking boundaries along the way. Really, the next step involves planning and deliberate steps. Don't just throw whatever in your cart but be mindful of what story it's telling and if it aligns with your vision.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 2

Cards: Queen of Cups, 8 of Swords, The Star, The World, The Lovers, The High Priestess, Knight of Cups, The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, 9 of Cups

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

What's actually really interesting is that there seem to be an opposition between constriction vs liberation, as embodied by Saturn in Aquarius qualities. It seems being in touch with your imagination and ideals is natural to you, you appear dreamy but in a melancholic way, a loner that people don't approach easily. People might get the sense that you are lost in your thoughts and that something else is taking your attention. You don't project a strong sun-like charisma, but rather, charm people when they get close to you and get a feel for your rich inner world. You are very authentic in the way you approach your appearance, as in, you don't seek to appear as someone you are not, up to a fault I'd say. Like, if you don't hold a high opinion of yourself that might stop you from dressing how you like because it doesn't feel true in some way. It's also like you feel constricted when you have to follow a dress code and would rather be able to wear whatever puts you at ease in the given situation, but then again it's a problem is you feel weak or stuck because it influences your choices. On top of that, I'm again getting strong ideals, so I would not be surprised if your social or political ideals influence the way your present yourself. Perhaps you have an inclination towards sustainable fashion or cruelty free beauty and it helps you feel more aligned with your inner world.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you can draw inspiration from revolves around the idea to let your idealistic and creative nature run free, like the waves on the ocean's shore. This hints at a poetic approach to your style and appearance, with the desire to evoke gentle feelings. Your archetypal beauty is one of a siren, enchanting and mysterious. You might benefit from beautifully ornate jewelry, nacre, pearls and shells come to mind, and I'm also getting renaissance inspired aesthetic like cherubs imagery and dramatic silhouettes, rosy cheeks and braided hairstyles. The ocean is wide and mysterious, fascinating and unknowable, and that's definitely an allure you can harness at your highest potential. Even in that configuration, you're still highly focused on your inner world but it appears on the outside as well.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I see a few messages.

The thing is that, despite the saturnine influences, you do have raw potential for a more radiant and inviting, shall we say, energy to you. With the Lovers which is connected to Gemini, you can really learn to actually express your rich inner world and come across as communicative and adaptable regardless of the social situation. Balancing out the coldness with warmth and being more inviting if you will. Someone people can't stop looking at, which implies you actually have to get out of your comfort zone and accept being seen by others.

Paired with you natural characteristics, this has the potential to increase your magnetism and make you mysteriously seductive because people will tap into both layers, sensing an inviting and charming first impression but also getting a feel of your deep inner world. There is also the potential to truly express your emotions through your clothes and appearance and thus sticking true to your desire for authenticity. Don't shy away from being creative and even artistic with your appearance. You have a natural inclination toward romantic styles and flowyness (sheer fabrics or silk-like textures) which can make you stand out in a crowd. Approach your style like a dream, something that is felt intensely and that you can get lost in. Play around with color combinations, and I would suggest having fun creating color palettes that evoke specific feelings rather than being minimal because you want to blend in. You can really project a striking vibe with your newfound confidence, with the help of your clothes and beauty care.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, here is what I see.

First of all there is a need to change you ways drastically. As we saw, there seem to be an opposition with how people currently see you vs what your potential is. Don't get me wrong, everything is present within you but it's like it's dormant. I sense you being somewhat stuck in your routine and stylistic habits and reluctant to change anything. You are being called to step up and take actions toward change. Dare to wear what makes you feel like your creative and dreamy self. You know yourself well but if you truly want to change the way people see you you have to take deliberate actions towards that. Not by wearing what you think people want but by going to the highest vision you have of yourself.

You would also benefit greatly from a more optimistic outlook on yourself and learn to communicate happiness, ease and expansion. Be more generous with your energy, which means that you don't have to hold everything in in fear of being judged or disliked, but rather learning to stand strong in your individuality and communicate it to others. Not everyone will like it obviously but those who do will be enchanted by your presence.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 3

Cards: Ace of Cups, The Magician, 3 of Pentacles, The Hermit, 9 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, King of Cups rx, the Fool, 7 of Cups, 3 of Swords

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

I get strong Mercury qualities when it comes to how you naturally appear to others. You manage to seduce others with your quick wit and knowledge on many different subjects. It's like, there is nothing you don't have a smart or funny opinion on and people love that about you. You are highly intellectual and I think you like mirroring that in your appearance, favoring established aesthetics and proven formulas, relaying more on your personality than your clothes so to speak. And if clothes you chooses to put the accent on, I see a more traditional and refined approach. Modest and put together. You are meticulous in your choices and don't like appearing messy. Nothing comes in excess, you pay attention to color and texture harmony and like a balanced, classic look. As a result you appear serious and put together to others.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you could embody when pushed to your highest degree, with the Ace of Cups, it is quite abstract than a given aesthetic. I see you having the power to initiate strong positive emotions towards others. Perhaps they admire you or have fond feelings for you, or they may fall in love or become friends with you easily. You make them feel easily connected to you by you presence and allure, you energy having that color that drives people in. It's like, a very friendly and gently type of charisma.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I'm not sure why but I feel a strong rag to riches vibe here. As in, it is possible that you have experienced mental and financial hardship in the past, a situation might have improved to some extent, but that probably isn't fixed completely yet. That left you scarred and you try your best to hide it, which is why it's in the raw power position. I see the potential to use that as a strength to add depth to your character. With the King of Cups reversed, you feel inadequate and undeserving. I'm getting the sense that when it comes to glamour, you can fake it till you make it so to speak. Don't forget we are talking about magnifying your allure and I think there's definitely an air of like, you know who you are and you are aware of your situation, but you don't want to appear that way to others. It's strange because for all pile I got strong impression and aesthetics here, but for you it looks more like something that's dragging you down, which means there's a potential to turn it into a strength in some way. You got the Ace of Cups as ideal archetype and the King of Cups is nothing but the Lord of this Ace, so if you manage to flip it you can embody its quality and empathetic, abundant authority and trigger positive feelings in others. There is also this idea that, even when you make that shift, you won't forget where you come from and will keep being highly empathetic and kind, and that will be part of your charm.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, I notice a strong idea of starting fresh and stepping away from the heartache that plagues you. There is a youthful carelessness to it as well, the idea of opening yourself to the world and see the richness you have within with your larger than life personality. You would benefit from letting that aspect of you loose a bit. You are a bit chaotic at heart and this is so so endearing to many.

Furthermore, don't get too focused on glimmers, as all that shines is not gold. I think you may have a tendency to seek material things to counter or hide your difficulties with money, but here it's all about character expression when it comes to charm people. But be mindful of how you interact with others as to not to appear aloof or unapproachable.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

[koiiiji]

windbreaker characters & their possible love trope (part 2)

warnings : smut part with wooin but i tried to make it more sensual then sexy, prob fluffiest stuff i ever wrote, as usual it might be ooc, not proofed read on your own risk!!)🧣💞🦢

thank you all guys for 287 followers!!(i wrote when it was 260!!) i hope my works makes your day a lil bit better and set some mood. i really appreciate all likes, reposts and especially!! comments and replies, in love with @sugardollie-907 @hjunsjoy @cozyunderworld @dialoguestetatet and wildylisa but idk why i can’t tag((( and so so many other people who comment (but i swear this holy five lives rent free in my comment section and it such a blessing🙏🏻)

thank you to every-everyone who supporting me, my works, it’s so gratifying to come here and see all notifications about your feedbacks!! also want to say thanks to all wb authors who ever posted and posting!! another source of motivation and inspiration🫵🏻😌💋💯🎀

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

vinny - a friend’s sister. you were definetely dom's or jay's sister, and vinny was so annoyed by you in the first place. not because of your personality or you annoyed him directly, but you were that "genious" in your sport, and vinny unitentionally compared you to jay jo, who were gifted with talent from birth. he was angry or annoyed to the point of goosebumps, he didn't even understand exactly what he was feeling, but he understood that this was a very strong storm of emotions and he was fixated on you. honestly? when your brother watches your competitions or casually tells about your successes, Vinny records it in his memory and will congratulate you later(dom as an older brother will 100% hype you up, fight me. he would show his phone to hummingbird crew with tearing puppy eyes “look, my lil gremlin winning those competition of hers”🥹🥹)Vinny would rather die by biting his neck than admit his feelings to someone, so it happens accidentally, maybe your chat went further than congratulating each other on winning competitions or your calls to him to find out where your brother is hanging around today. but because you were tired after the competition, you fell asleep leaving the chat open and not responding to his messages, leaving him on read. not to say that Vinny was offended by you, he just snapped at you for 3 days in a row, refusing to respond to messages. you had to take the situation into your own hands and hold his hand after another training and talk. “ta hell you want?” he said, frowning down at you. “just to talk and clearly” - you explained the situation to him and told him why you didn't answer, but since Vinny didn't know how to apologize and he had certain trust issues, it turned into another skirmish. it was evening and it was unnoticeable how the clouds thickened and the rain began to fall, but it didn't seem to bother two of you much because you were standing and yelling at each other for a reason you both didn't understand. Vinny's patience had always been zero, but now it seemed as if he was on the verge of reaching another stage of rabies. while you were shouting at him that you didn't understand why he started this quarrel at all, he just exhaled irritably and unknowingly blurted out “FUCK! because i was worried about you!!” as the argument reached its peak, Vinny's frustration peaked, his heart pounding with a mixture of anger and apprehension. yet, amidst the chaos of their exchange, a surge of emotion overcame him, compelling him to act on the impulse he'd long suppressed. with a sudden surge of courage, Vinny closed the distance between you, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. eyes met, mirroring the intensity of emotions, as Vinny leaned in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. the rain continued to fall, its gentle rhythm enveloping both of you in a cocoon of intimacy as you melted into each other's embrace. Vinny’s body pressed to yours, rain-soaked and trembling, as the warmth of the spring evening mingled with the cool touch of the rain. in that moment, amidst the soft glow of the night lights and the soothing patter of raindrops, time seemed to stand still. the world around you faded into obscurity, leaving only the two bodies locked in a passionate embrace. as your lips parted, a sense of relief washed over, breaths mingling with the cool night air as you savored the sweetness of the moment. in the gentle caress of the rain and the warmth of each other's touch, you found solace, knowing that despite the storm raging around two of you, they were anchored in the calm of their love. as you kissed beneath the spring evening sky, a sense of peace washed over them, the tension of their argument melting away with each tender caress. In that fleeting moment, surrounded by the gentle embrace of the rain and the comforting glow of city lights, they found solace in each other's arms, their love renewed and strengthened by the storm they weathered together.

wooin - fake relationship. he commited it in the first place. since his work wasn’t permanent and he was constantly on the move, hanging here and there, Wooin thought it would be nice to have something permanent in his life. he needed excuse to tell his family why he can’t visit them on weekends - his girlfriend doesn’t feel well. them asking him all this “start a family” questions? sorry, y/n isn’t ready yet. some unforeseen situations? oh, y/n can be his trusted person. something didn't go according to plan? he can rely on y/n, if it isn’t something too difficult or dangerous. as a substitute he will gift you something, or will took you somewhere, thanking you for being his backup. genuinely it wasn’t something like friends with benefits, no, you two clearly share a bond, but it was something on the edge, as everybody thought you were dating. and in fact all this acts, you being his backup, him giving you small gifts, taking you on dates, sharing a bed - it all feels more like a relationship. but you never had this conversation, after another hot sex you could fall asleep together, for sure, but in the morning one of you definitely woke up in an empty bed. of course, it also happened that you woke up together, but in the morning Wooin was simply unbearable, and more often it ended with too caustic jokes. and it was always on the edge, you weren't in a relationship, you weren't friends, you weren't strangers, you were all together at once. at some point, it started to get exhausting. you noticed it first, but Wooin started talking about it first... well not actually talk, but mutter in the crook of your neck… today’s sex was different, the encounter was filled with a blend of sensuality and intensity, both of you asserting your desires while maintaining a balance of power. you bite each other, when it feels like too much, but immediately kissing and licking bite place, each of you tried to get leading role while another didn’t let it happen. today, Wooin's approach was different - not sloppy, fast and erratically, but slower, more deliberate, his touch gentle yet his thrusts firm. you were suffocating in his arms, and it seemed to him that he was drowning in the smell of your hair, your moans, how you trembled slightly from his hands on your chest, hips and neck. Wooin burrowed his nose deeper into the crook of your neck, breathing heavily and sniffing your scent. it was intoxicating, that feeling when you were next to him, when his hands slid over your body, your soft sobs, how the emotions on your pretty face changed depending on his pace. now, with his whole body pressed against you from behind, one hand holding your hip, and the other between your head and the pillow, his palm rested on your collarbones. while he was slowly sinking into you, and you were smiling and almost purring with pleasure, he caught himself thinking that he liked your smile. he likes to spend time with you, he likes to use an excuse in front of his parents and call you his girlfriend. his. Wooin liked the idea of you being his. he liked you. along with these thoughts, his pace increased, now he was digging his fingers into your thigh, and the other hand slid to your breast, squeezing it a little harder. you were both lost in your pleasure as you moaned louder and louder, he pressed his nose harder into your neck, whispering something that you couldn't make out. at one moment, he lifted his head, biting your earlobe, and pulling it slightly towards him, in a burst of emotion, he whispered "i like you"*

kwon - stranger to lovers/soulmetes - for the first time it seemed like someone corsed you. you moved to new flat in different district of Seul and now it was time to transport your stuff from old flat. everything started when you recieved message from a men who drove the car with your stuff, saying that he is stuck on a street because there are some stupid cycling competition and usual road is closed. amazing, you already were so stressed and here some cycling competition, but thankfully in the evening you finally recieved your stuff, mostly some boxes, small and big. when you were about to pick another heavy box you felt that it seemed strangely light. when you rise your eyes you saw a young man around your age. you thanked him for helping and he turned out to be almost your neighbor, one floor above and to the left of your neighbor's wall. next time you saw Kwon Hyeok in evelator…and you two were stuck there…for 3 hours…you were about to meet with your friends and, as you learned later, he was about to pick something to eat in nearest market. week later you met him in random cafe, where you decided to have a dinner alone, the owner of the cafe came up to you, saying that all the seats are occupied, but since you are alone, there was an empty place, behind the bar, just next to a guy your age (the old man grinned and has obviously already married you two in his head) so when you sat down carefully and apologized for the intrusion, you recognized that it was Kwon. you ordered your food and few drinks, and had a nice time together. and after a month of such unexpected encounters, you began to suspect 2 things - either fate brings you together, or he is a stalker. thankfully when you ran into each other again in the same cafe and drank a lot more this time, you admitted that you suspected him, and he, in turn, thought the same - that you were weird stalker girl who followed him around, and in that evening you laughed together from many things. when it was time to leave he understood that you were so drunk that you couldn’t even stand straight, so he took you by the elbow, hugged you with his free hand a little bit higher than your waist and led you home. along the way, of course, you mumbled something about how you like one handsome boy and he seemed like not paying attention to you and probably not even interested and why you're still alone…and then, under the soft glow of streetlights, amidst the hushed whispers of the night, it happened. in a moment that felt both inevitable and surreal, your lips met in a tender kiss, sealing the bond that had been silently growing between you. in that stolen moment, amid the chaos of the city, you found solace in each other's arms, knowing that fate had finally brought you together as more than just strangers in passing.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

* i’m sorry, i don’t really know how to finish this part with wooin, as it already feels too ooc, it was more self inserted, like i was inspired by my latest situationship, bc i was in fucking same situation(it didn’t end well) , and it’s still kinda my roman empire, so i leave space for your imagination… if u don’t mind of course…🥹

[cupidcures]

𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝? ♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠

you and your best friend jisung were always tittering on the borderline of a romantic relationship and a platonic one. you thought you knew everything about him, only to be proven wrong in a way you never expected.

PAIRING: han jisung x reader

GENRE: fluff, crack, angst if you squint

WARNING: none, just tooth-rottingly sweet fluff with our dense hannie

DISCLAIMER: this is 100% fiction and doesn’t portray how the featured idols act in reality, this is made purely for entertainment

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

a/n: i recently got back into the very first anime i’ve watched, and the two main protagonists are so OBLIVIOUS to each other’s feelings. there’s literally an ongoing joke within the fandom that the main male protagonist believes that he’s been in a relationship with the female protagonist the whole time despite not having discussed it (natsu and lucy from fairy tail..)😅 but that’s what inspired this very short oneshot LOL. i hope you enjoy!

A yellow beam of sunlight peeked through the transparent material of the window curtain, casting its glow throughout the bedroom. The warmth from the sun bloomed on your skin, greeting you with a pleasant and sunny morning. Fluttering your eyes open, you find yourself face-to-face with your best friend sleeping soundly beside you with his lips slightly parted as you feel his soft and slow breaths tickle your nose.

This was normal to you at this point, you were no longer fazed by the recurring visitor who would sneak into your house almost every day. Was it an invasion of privacy? To most people, definitely. It took some time for you to get used to it, but you didn’t mind it. You had grown quite fond of the quokka boy in front of you—so much so that you’ve found yourself falling in love with him, much to your dismay. How could you not? He has been by your side through thick and thin, and the trust and bond between you two has never wavered. Not once. And here he was, his strong arms wrapped securely around your waist, his legs entangled with yours, and his face just mere inches away.

Staring at his delicate features, you often pondered about whether or not he felt the same way, but you have always been too scared to ruin the friendship that you hold too dear to you, that you’ve just decided to keep all your feelings to yourself and remain on platonic terms with the boy you grew to love more than just a friend would.

As if you were in a fairytale, the dissonant melody of the birds outside on the tree by the windowsill stirred the boy next to you awake. As soon as he made the slightest bit of movement, you closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep, just so you wouldn’t be caught staring at him.

“Mornin’ Y/N.” His raspy voice spoke to you in a gentle manner, and you felt yourself burning up from just the feeling of his gaze on you. Yet, you stuck to your act and kept your eyes closed. It was quiet for a minute or two before the joyful sound of his laughter broke the silence.

“Y/N baby I know you’re awake, weirdo. Why are you pretending to be asleep?”

Here he was with the pet names again. Your heart skipped a beat before speeding up, the blood pumping through your veins and rushing to your face. You hesitantly opened your eyes to a small squint, your eyelashes blurring your vision.

“Hey, Sungie.” Your voice greeted him with a mellow whisper as the sensation of his hand wiped the corner of your lip.

“Ew, you got drool on your face.”

“Shut it, will ya?”

The dynamic between the two of you would constantly fluctuate from flirting and teasing, it was never really consistent. His actions often left you dazed and confused, the borderline between friends and something more than that was blurred beyond clarity—even your closest friends wondered if there was something more going on.

“Is everything alright? You have… this look on your face,” Jisung scrunched his face and sat up, bringing you with him. He leaned his face closer to yours, you assumed to inspect your expression, and you felt your face burn up.

You were confused about a lot of things—but if there was ONE thing that you were sure of, it was the fact that he drove you mad. You had your speculations that he knew your feelings for him and did these things to tease you, but your intuition speaks to you that it isn’t EXACTLY the case. Things have been this way for as long as you can remember, and to be frank, you were getting more and more affected by it.

It was when Jisung stared at your lips and leaned in even closer, that you finally decided you had had enough. Your hands took its place on top of his chest and you pushed him away softly. “Why do you keep doing this?”

A small frown played on his lips. He couldn't read your mind, and you couldn’t read his. “Keep doing what?”

“This!” Your voice grew a little louder as your finger gestured back and forth between him and you. It didn’t seem to help, though. Jisung still looked lost, you were able to tell that he didn’t exactly know what you meant. He was so painfully oblivious.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you, Y/N.” He apologized anyway, despite not knowing what he did wrong. “Is it because I keep sneaking in without your permission? I thought it didn’t bother you because you never said anything, but I’ll stop if you want me to. I’m sorry.”

The frown on his face became more evident, and you started feeling bad for the boy. His eyes watered as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting on the blanket. You let out an audible sigh and shook your head.

“It’s not that. I’m fine with you sneaking in, but leaning in so close to my face? Calling me pet names? Wrapping me so tightly in hugs that would last more than what’s considered normal? Why?”

You were frustrated, to say the least. You felt like your emotions were just being toyed with by your own best friend and you couldn’t take it anymore. His lips quivered and his eyes got watery. For some reason, your questions hurt him.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I just thought it was normal to do that, I am your boyfriend after all. Do you want to break up with me? Please don’t, I’ll stop it if it makes you uncomfortable, I promise I didn’t know. Did you lose feelings for me?”

And so you stared at him. Silently. It took you a while to process his words in your head—but the more you processed it, the wider your eyes got.

“…you’re my boyfriend?”

Jisung blinked. You blinked. He blinked even more. The look of hurt on his face quickly became replaced with a look of disorientation.

“Uhm? Yeah? We love each other, don’t we? So that makes me your boyfriend? We’ve been together for a while now, Y/N.”

Your jaw dropped to the floor when you heard him utter those words, and suddenly everything started making sense to you. All those times he flirted with you, all the attempts to kiss you, all his protectiveness against other people, and all the hugs and cuddles suddenly made sense. He wasn’t toying around with your feelings at all, he was just reciprocating them. Strings of laughter began to escape your lips as your arms grasped your stomach—Jisung only looked at you in bewilderment.

“Why… why are you laughing?”

“Jisung you‘re so stupid!”

“Hey! I’m trying to be serious here and fix things and you’re over here laughing at me and insulting me?? HOW RUDE!” He crossed his arms with a pout, but he couldn’t hide the underlying look of relief on his face when he saw that you weren’t mad or upset.

“Yes I love you, but you have to ask me to be yours before you could just assume it, idiot!! I didn’t know that you loved me back so I just thought you were playing with my feelings!” You flicked his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows in disagreement.

“But it‘s obvious that I love you!! I thought that because we feel the same way, we would automatically be a couple!”

“THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!”

You threw a pillow at Jisung’s face, the sudden impact throwing him off the bed. You could hear him whine childishly from the foot of your bed and so you stuck your tongue out at him, a lovesick grin plastered on both of your faces.

He was such a dork, but you didn’t care because you loved him. And he loved you too.

Masterlist

MASTERTAG (OPEN)! @skzstan12345

[joonsytip]

Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong

Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism

Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3

[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]

Unknown Number:

[3:05 AM] Hey!

It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)

What do you think?

You:

[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???

You got the wrong number!

Unknown Number:

[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.

You gave me your number at the party :(

[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.

Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!

The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.

"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.

8 AM. The time glares back at you.

You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.

Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.

Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.

Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.

Hyerin Calling....

You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.

"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.

"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.

You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.

As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.

And you're left alone.

And you're used to it.

The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.

You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.

Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.

"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.

"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.

"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."

He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.

"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.

Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.

Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.

He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.

Joshua:

[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.

Stranger:

[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.

Joshua:

A heavy sleeper it seems lol.

Stranger:

[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.

Joshua:

[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.

Stranger:

[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(

"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.

"I am.", he responds right away.

"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.

"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.

"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.

"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.

Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."

"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.

"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.

"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."

Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"

"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.

And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."

A series of groans are heard.

You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.

It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.

Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.

Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.

With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.

Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.

Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.

You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.

Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.

"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.

You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.

"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."

"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.

Sundays are no more Fundays.

Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.

And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.

Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.

"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.

"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.

"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."

"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."

"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.

"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"

You shake your head and take out your phone.

You:

[9 PM] You there?

Unknown Number :

[9:01 PM] Hey!

Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.

[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.

Do you like parties?

Unknown Number:

[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.

What about you?

You:

[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.

I'm that miserable wallflower :(

Unknown Number:

[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.

You :

[9:09 PM] Maybe....

Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.

There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.

"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.

"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.

Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"

"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"

Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.

"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.

A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."

"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.

"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."

"Tried talking to your mom about this?"

"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.

"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.

"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."

Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.

Pouring out is always better than bottling in.

Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."

Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.

If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.

It's Joshua.

It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.

It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.

Mingyu is perceptive.

Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.

"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."

"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."

Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.

Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.

"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."

"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.

"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."

As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.

The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.

"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.

Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.

"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.

You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"

"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.

Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.

"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.

You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."

He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.

Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.

Unknown Number:

[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ

You:

[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.

There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.

Unknown Number:

[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.

You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.

Unknown Number:

[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.

You:

[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Unknown Number:

[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...

Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.

"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.

He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."

You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."

"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.

You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.

"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.

Joshua sees red.

He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.

You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.

Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.

"Don't you think he's handsome?"

Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.

"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.

"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.

You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."

Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."

You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."

"As if I'd listen to you."

"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."

Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.

You sigh in relief and take out your phone.

You:

[4 PM] Whatcha doing'

Unknown Number:

[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...

You:

[4:02 PM] Lol why?

Unknown Number:

[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.

You:

[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.

Unknown Number:

What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.

You:

[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.

I feel like no one understands me as well.

Unknown Number:

We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.

So may I know your name?

You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.

You:

[4:08 PM] I have an idea.

We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.

We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.

What say?

Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.

Joshua:

[4:10 PM] Let's that do.

Anonymous, saved.

Anonymous :

[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)

Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.

He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.

"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"

He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.

He remembers the day he lost his father.

He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.

He remembers --

"Hey, are you okay?"

Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.

He simply nods and faces the wall.

"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."

"Do you have spare clothes?"

Joshua turns to face you and nods.

"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.

"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"

"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."

Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.

You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.

Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.

Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.

"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"

He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.

You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.

He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.

"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."

You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.

Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.

Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"

"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.

"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."

The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.

"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"

You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.

Must be his friends from previous school, you think.

"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.

You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.

With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.

A smile creeps upon your face.

Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.

And you freeze.

Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.

You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.

"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.

"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.

You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."

Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"

"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."

Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.

"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."

You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."

"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.

"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.

"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."

Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."

Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."

Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.

Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."

Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."

"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."

Mingyu and Seji loose the match.

While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.

"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"

Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.

"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."

Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.

He finds you.

"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.

"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."

"Go ahead."

Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"

"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.

"Is she single?"

The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.

"Why do you wanna know that?"

Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."

"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.

"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."

"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.

Joshua quietly cowers away.

"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."

"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."

Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.

Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.

Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.

"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"

Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."

"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."

"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."

"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.

"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.

"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."

"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."

"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."

You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.

But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.

"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"

Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."

"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.

"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"

That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."

"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."

"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.

"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."

Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."

Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.

"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."

"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."

Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--

"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.

He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."

"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."

Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.

"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."

Mingyu grins from ear to ear.

"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.

"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.

You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.

You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.

The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.

"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"

You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.

"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"

"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.

Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.

"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."

"Y/N--"

"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."

"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"

You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.

Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.

And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.

Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.

"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.

"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.

"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.

You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"

Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.

"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"

He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.

And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.

He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.

But your rummaging through your bag.

"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.

"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."

"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"

"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."

Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.

"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."

You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.

"How did you manage to get all these?"

"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."

Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."

"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.

"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."

Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.

You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.

Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.

Hyerin calling ...

Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.

"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."

"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"

What does she mean by that, you thought.

It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.

"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."

Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.

You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.

When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.

It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.

Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.

Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.

Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.

"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.

He's enchanted.

Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.

"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.

With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.

He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.

"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.

"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"

Joshua doesn't step back.

So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.

But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.

You think he has kissable lips.

Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.

You think his cologne smells nice.

He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.

You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.

He thinks you have kissable lips.

So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.

He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.

He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.

You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.

He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.

"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."

You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.

It's awkward and suffocating.

You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.

"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.

You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.

"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."

You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.

But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"

Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.

You and Joshua are left behind.

Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.

"Do you want to go there?"

Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.

"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."

"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."

Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.

"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.

"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.

You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."

You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.

When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.

You gulp nervously and look away.

When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.

Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.

You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.

No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.

You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.

Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.

But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.

You:

[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.

Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.

"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."

You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.

"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.

"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.

"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.

Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.

You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.

You think he's startled because he's clueless.

He is startled because of the proximity between you both.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."

"Wait what?"

"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."

Joshua blinks.

You wait.

Joshua is still confused.

"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.

"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."

"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."

Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.

"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.

Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.

Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.

"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.

"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.

Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."

Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.

That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.

Anonymous:

[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

Joshua:

[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.

Do you like someone?

Anonymous:

[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???

I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.

Joshua:

[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?

Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.

Anonymous:

[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?

We're really in same boat lol.

Hope we can sort it out.

Joshua:

[10:50 PM] Touché.

Detention classes are going to end today.

You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.

"You're amazing you know."

A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.

"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.

"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."

Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.

Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.

Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.

You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.

"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.

Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.

You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.

"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."

Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."

You sigh in relief.

Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"

You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.

"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"

Joshua agrees in a beat.

Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.

"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."

You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.

You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.

And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.

"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.

"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"

"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."

Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"

Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.

"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."

"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"

You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.

"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."

Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"

You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.

"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."

Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.

Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.

"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."

Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.

"Tell me about you, Josh."

Joshua finds you staring at back him.

He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."

You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.

"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."

Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.

But you only caress his back.

"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."

He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.

"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."

"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."

Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.

"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."

What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.

Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."

"I'll try.", you smile at him.

"I'll try as well." he echoes you.

When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.

Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,

"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"

Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.

When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.

Joshua.exe has stopped working.

It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.

Next time definitely, he promises to himself.

You:

[6:30 PM] shared a playlist

Anonymous:

[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.

You:

[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.

Anonymous:

[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.

"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.

When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"

"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.

You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.

"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"

"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"

You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."

"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."

"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."

"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."

You blink at her owlishly.

"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.

"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."

"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."

"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"

"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."

"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."

"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."

"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.

You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.

You:

[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?

Anonymous:

[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?

You:

[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....

Anonymous:

[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.

You:

[7:33 PM]

Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?

Anonymous:

[7:33 PM] Fine by me.

How are we going to recognise each other lol?

You:

[7:34 PM]

I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.

Anonymous:

[7:35 PM]

I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.

You:

[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!

Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.

He hijacks you.

"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."

Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."

"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."

Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.

Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.

You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.

As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.

"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"

Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.

"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."

Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."

Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.

You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.

"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.

"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.

You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.

"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.

Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.

"Looking for Y/N?"

He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.

Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.

"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.

Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.

Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.

"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.

She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."

"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.

She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"

Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.

"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."

Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.

"I assume you already know about her safe place."

Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."

"What do you mean by always?"

"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.

Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.

"Let me take you where she is now."

That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.

His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.

You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.

When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.

He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.

He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.

He realises that he likes you.

He likes you a lot.

"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"

Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.

He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.

Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.

Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.

You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.

You:

[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.

Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)

You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.

Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.

Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.

To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.

He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.

Joshua pushes the door, walking in.

All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.

Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.

You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.

You:

[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??

Are you stuck somewhere?

It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.

You:

[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?

Did something happen? Are you okay?

Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...

The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.

You are worried. You are exhausted.

Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.

Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.

No messages.

You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.

To get Joshua's number.

Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.

Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.

But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.

A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.

He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.

"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."

Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.

Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.

"Josh--"

"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.

You are confused and you are worried.

If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.

If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.

If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.

"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."

Next day you bump into him in the hallway.

"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.

Joshua is stoic and you notice it.

"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.

"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.

"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."

You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"

"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"

Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.

But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.

"I just want to get your number."

There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.

A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.

"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."

"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.

"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.

You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.

Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.

Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.

Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.

"Mrs. Hong?"

"Y/N?"

You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"

"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"

"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."

"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.

"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.

"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."

You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.

"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."

You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."

Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.

"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.

"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.

"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."

You and Hyerin grimace at his words.

"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.

Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.

"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."

You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.

"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.

Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."

"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."

"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.

"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."

"Keep us posted Y/N."

You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.

Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.

Nothing seems to work out for you.

You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.

You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.

Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.

Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.

Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?

Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.

You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.

Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!

"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.

You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.

Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."

Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.

"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."

As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.

Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.

Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.

You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.

You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.

"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."

You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.

You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.

"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.

Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.

"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."

Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"

"I'm not lying --"

"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.

"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.

"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"

"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."

"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.

"Do what?"

"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"

You freeze on hearing that name.

"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"

"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."

You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.

"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."

Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.

You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."

You only say that much before walking past him.

The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.

"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.

"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"

"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."

"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"

"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"

"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.

"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"

Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.

"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."

"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."

Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.

A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.

Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.

Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.

Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.

He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.

But words once said cannot be taken back.

Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.

His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.

"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"

He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.

A Jack of Fools.

You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.

You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.

"What happened?"

He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.

"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."

Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.

On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.

That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.

You don't notice Joshua.

"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.

Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."

You nod and wait for him to continue.

"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."

"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."

"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."

"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.

Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.

Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."

You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.

"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"

Joshua freezes.

Then he hears a sob.

"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."

You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."

Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.

Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."

"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."

Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.

"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.

But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."

Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."

"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."

Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.

But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.

Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.

"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"

Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.

"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."

Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.

"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"

Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.

It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.

"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.

Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.

Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."

Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"

"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."

Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.

"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."

"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.

"Who?", Joshua quips up.

"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."

"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.

Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.

He just wants to see you.

You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.

In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.

Joshua hopes he get paired with you.

You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.

"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."

You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.

Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.

When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.

You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.

You don't even spare him a glance.

Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"

"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."

"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"

"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."

You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."

Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.

You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."

Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.

"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."

Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.

Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.

"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."

Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.

"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."

Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."

Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.

The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."

Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.

"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"

"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."

Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.

"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"

Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.

"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.

"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.

Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.

Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.

"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"

"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."

"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."

Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.

Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.

She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.

Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."

"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."

She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."

The door slams and Joshua breathes out.

"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.

"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."

"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."

"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."

Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-

Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.

From, Your Anonymous

You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.

From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.

Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.

You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.

From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.

Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.

One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.

Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."

You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.

"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."

Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."

"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"

"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."

It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.

Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.

Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.

"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.

Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[mountttmase]

Damage Is Done

Note - a bit of Sunday evening pain for you all inspired by this TikTok. I really hope you enjoy this and I would really appreciate some feedback as I need some motivation 😭. Thank you my loves 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 10K

Warnings - Angst and fluff

Here we go

Never had those words had so much meaning before. You felt sick to your stomach as soon as you’d seen them and the waves of uneasiness were rolling through you until you felt suffocated.

You knew it was a possibility but you also knew it wasn’t 100% what your boyfriend of 10 months wanted so you were holding out hope things would change. After every rejected offer a little bit of hope filled your heart that he would be sticking around but this had hit you like a truck as you knew what it meant for the pair of you.

Stupidly enough, you and Mason hadn’t spoken about the possible move. You wanted to be his safe place and whilst you knew what was going on, you kept that topic at the back of your minds but as the months had passed you were wondering if he was keeping you away on purpose. Maybe if once his life changed that meant you no longer were a part of it and the thought was eating you up inside.

There wasn’t much to do but you made sure to tidy the place up a little as a distraction. You knew this was about to be a hard conversation and before you had time to even think about it anymore your buzzer was ringing.

You opened the entrance for him without a word before going to open your door and he was rounding the corner into view. You couldn’t tell what expression he was wearing and you were hoping yours was neutral and when he wrapped you up in his arms on your doorstep and you held onto him as tightly as you could.

You both didn’t move for a while, just held each other and you could feel him relaxing in your arms as your eyes filled with tears. He smelt more like Mason than he ever had and you breathed in his delicious scent before he pulled back slightly so he could drop a kiss on your forehead.

It was clear to see how much lighter he looked, the dark clouds that had been following him around for the last few months had finally made way for the sunshine and you could see the relief sparking in his warm eyes.

‘I take it you’ve seen it’ he whispered, rubbing up and down your back soothingly as you nodded whilst trying to keep your face blank.

‘Let’s go sit’ you whispered, nodding over to your sofa and you let him wonder over so you could shut the door before joining him. He sat down with a thump, his hoodie thrown on the arm of the chair next to him before he opened his arms for you. You knew it wasn’t a good idea but you let yourself melt into him, tucking yourself into his body as you held each other again but his thumb that was slowly stroking across your cheek made you look up at him.

You let him kiss you, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, trying to memorise the feel of his lips against yours as you weren’t sure how things were about to play out. You wanted the feel of them tattooed on your brain as he softly brushed his tongue against yours but the playful bite of your bottom lip made you smile. It didn’t feel like a goodbye kiss but in your mind all the signs seemed to be pointing that way.

‘How are you feeling?’ You asked him a few moments after, trying to change the subject as your hands rested on his chest whilst his circled around your waist and you could tell even though he was happy he was still a little conflicted

‘I’m not sure, a mix of stuff really. Exhausted but relived. Sad things are over but excited to start over somewhere new. What about you?’

You didn’t know how to answer, burying your head into his neck as he just held you. His words confused you as you weren’t sure why he wanted you to know he was excited to start over without you.

‘It’s okay bubs. You don’t have to worry about anything’ he whispered, kissing your temple lightly. ‘I know it’s a lot and I don’t expect you to drop everything just for me’

There it was, the moment you’d been waiting for. Mason confining had had no intentions of taking you with him or even asking you what you wanted. he was quite happy for you to stay here and be without him. It stung to hear the words finally coming from him though and you gulped down the upset feeling rising in your tummy at that fact he’d made his mind up for the both of you.

‘I should of known this was coming’ you laughed, pulling away from him

‘Wait what?’ He whispered, his brows furrowing as he cocked his head to the side. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I take it you only came to get your stuff? There’s no need for a big goodbye you can just go’ you told him, wanting him out so you could be in your own.

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘You’re leaving, so go’

‘Why are you being like this? I thought-‘

‘Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. You haven’t spoken to me at all about this whole thing and now you’re just moving on. It’s fine I saw it coming a mile off’ you told him, standing up as you knew you were getting angry and upset. You knew you were being a little unreasonable but the fact he hadn’t involved you in any of his transfer or move hurt and you didn’t want to hear him out.

You’d been his distraction throughout all these hard months, but now you were wondering if that’s all you were to him. Now he was through it he was off to start his new life without you and it stung more than you ever thought it could.

‘I can’t believe you. After everything we’ve been through your just gonna chuck me out like this. Without even talking about it?’

‘What’s to talk about? You’ve made your mind up. You wanna leave so leave’

‘I don’t have a choice’ he shouted, standing up to face you but you refused to back down. You didn’t have a reply, unsure as to why he was so upset as he’d said himself he didn’t expect you to follow him so you continued watching him, wondering if you’d get anymore sense out but the small shake of his head made you realise you wouldn’t.

‘I’m going’ he suddenly snapped, walking towards the door without a second look back at you, flinching as you heard the door slam behind him.

This wasn’t how you were expecting things to go, unsure as to why Mason so upset as he’d gotten what he wanted but his reaction had left you feeling a little uneasy so you sat yourself back down in your sofa to take some breaths and clear your mind.

To say Mason was confused would be an understatement.

He’d arrived at your house for the comfort only you could give him but you’d been cold and dismissive as soon as he’d bought the move up and he couldn’t figure out why.

He was ready to reassure you that the pair of you would be fine. That he knew you couldn’t leave right away but he’d make sure the pair of you were looked after and he’d have things ready for you when you could join him but he hadn’t got the chance to tell you. You were too quick to jump in and blame him for something he wasn’t quite sure of right this second.

He didn’t waste any time getting out of the car park though and racing back home, his mind replaying the conversation to try and figure out what had changed. Had he missed something? Did he say something unintentionally? The last few weeks had been a blur and he’d only felt his mind stop racing when he was in your arms so the interaction you’d just had confused the hell out of him.

Thankfully Woody was the only one at his house when he got there, the rest of his family still on the way up, but Woody knew something was wrong immediately.

‘I think she’s just ended things with me, mate’ Mason told him, recounting the whole conversation as Woody listened and tried to see things from your side but he was just as confused as Mason was.

‘Maybe have a day to cool down and message her tomorrow or something?’ He reasoned and mason agreed. Hoping tomorrow he could clear the air slightly and maybe get to the bottom of everything.

The next morning after a fairly awful nights sleep he got to crafting a message for you. He was still hurt and angry and also feeling a little petty about the whole thing so against his better judgment he said somethings he didn’t mean. Hoping to grab your attention and make you want to talk things through but as soon as he hit sent he wondered if he should consulted Woody first.

You were just putting your washing up away when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, fishing it out to reveal Masons name and your heart thudded in your chest at what me might have to say to you. Hoping it would be an apology but you weren’t prepared for what was written.

Was he joking?

You couldn’t even think of a reply, anger filling your mind at how he was making himself out to be the victim, saying his love wasn’t enough for you and to have a nice life. You were still furious with him for leaving you here so you replied in the most childish way you knew before switching your phone off.

Was she joking?

‘Woody, remind me to never take your advice again’

‘What you on about’ he laughed, catching Masons phone that he threw at him so he could read over the message.

‘Not the thumbs up. Damn, that girls cold’

‘That’s one fucking word for it’

‘Look at it this way, at least you know what she’s like now yeah?’

‘Well it’s a bit late now, I wished you would of warned me what she was like before you introduced me to her’ he huffed.

‘She’s never been like this before I swear’

‘I can’t believe I wanted her to move away with me’ Mason mumbled, taking his phone back so he could quickly block your number before throwing it to to the side of him.

This was so unlike you, so unlike what he thought you were and it had him looking back over your whole relationship to try and figure out if he’s missed something in your personality or been blinded by love to overlook all your awful qualities but he couldn’t think of anything. He knew you inside out and this wasn’t you.

You were always so warm and caring, one look from you always made his whole day better and it was breaking his heart that everything seemed to be tainted. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he tried to hold his emotions in and for the most part he had but the realisation that the person he’d placed all his bets on wasn’t who he thought they were made his eyes fill with tears so he face planted the sofa in hopes Woody wouldn’t notice.

The next night he wondered if he’d been too hasty, quickly unblocking your number so if you wanted to reach out to him you could but it seemed as though there was no need for it.

Two months passed and he didn’t hear from you.

He’d settled in up north pretty quickly, moving into a new house after he’d made it back from pre season tour and whilst he tried to make it into a home, it didn’t feel that way without you in it. He felt like a stranger rattling around in a huge house with no one to share it with but you were still silent on your end and he didn’t have the heart to reach out to try and speak to you to be shot down again.

He had no idea you were craving the same thing as he was though. You just wanted to speak to him but you were hurt at the way he’d moved on so quickly and your pride was keeping you away from him.

You couldn’t help but look out for him and how he was doing now, the bright smile on his face breaking your heart as he seemed so much happier without you and even though you were angry with him for not including you in his new life, you were yearning to be back in his presence. The hoodie he left the night you sent him away a constant reminder of what you once had and even though you’d hidden it away in the beginning, you found yourself wearing it more often than not in hopes you could feel close to him and hopefully it would heal your broken heart.

Nothing worked though, even popping to the local cafe where you and Mason would get breakfast as often as you could made you feel awful. You sat in the booth you always liked to go in to make yourself feel a bit closer to him but you just felt sad and even more alone. You were so stuck in a daze though you didn’t feel anyone come up and stand in front of you until they let out a little cough to snap you out of your trance.

‘Woody? What are you doing here?’

‘Could ask you the same question’ he replied, sitting himself opposite you. ‘You’ve been avoiding me’

‘Is that a question or a statement?’

‘It’s a fact’

He was right, you had been avoiding him. You’d known Woody for a few years and he’d introduced to you Mason in the first place but you didn’t have the heart to see him right now. He’d been your biggest supporter and you felt like you’d let him down with the way everything had ended. You knew he’d tried reaching out a few times but you didn’t have the energy or heart speak to him as he was too close to Mason.

‘I probably shouldn’t say this, but you were cold as fuck with that whole thumbs up thing’ he laughed and you felt your face heat up as he recounted the last bit of contact you and Mason had. ‘Like it was shit of you but I was impressed’

‘Shit of me? He’s the one that wanted to start a new life without me, it’s not like I’m gonna be polite to him after that am I?’

‘What are you on about?’ He asked, brows furrowed as he looked at you like you were speaking another language but you were tired of Woody thinking you were the bad guy.

‘Dont play dumb Woody. He had the whole move figured out and I was never a part of it, he basically said so himself’

‘What did he say exactly?’

‘That he doesn’t expect me to go with him. That he’s fine with me staying here’ you told him, watching his face fall into his hands before looking up at you with a bewildered expression.

‘You really are stupid sometimes you know that?’

‘What the hell? I know you’ve known him longer but I thought you’d at least sympathise with me’

‘Not when you’ve got the complete wrong end of the stick you doughnut. Sure, he didn’t expect you to drop your whole life and move with him then and there but when you were ready to join him he was making sure you’d have everything you need’

‘What?’

‘He didn’t want you to worry about any of that stuff, he was taking care of it so he could make sure you weren’t stressed. He knew moving would be a big deal for but he wanted you there with him so that’s why tried to take it on himself. When they were asking what sort of things he needed for his new place he said the only two things would be somewhere with an office so that when you came up after you’d sorted yourself out you’d have a place to work and somewhere close to the station so you could get to the office on the days you needed to’

‘But he never said that’ you whispered, a sinking feeling rushing through you that maybe you’d jumped the gun too quick, your bottom lip wobbling seemingly on its own and you thought back to that last conversation with him.

‘He never said it or you never gave him a chance to?’ He questioned and your body felt cold. ‘I know he probably wasn’t very forthcoming with it but I think he liked that he could forget all that stuff around you. You were like his little safe island where none of that mattered and I think he just presumed you’d go with him’

‘Oh god’ you breathed, reality now hitting you that you’d messed up ‘oh fuck no’ you whispered, grabbing your phone and heading straight to his number so you could call him but it didn’t even ring or give you the chance to leave a message. ‘He’s blocked me’

‘Can you blame him? You kinda went in on him a bit’ he smiled before reaching for your forearm. ‘Look, I’ll try and speak to him yeah? Let him know you got confused’

‘No it doesn’t matter’ you told him, shaking your head. ‘Damage is done now. I uh, I need to head off’ you told him, scrambling up from your seat but he was quick to get up too and pull you into a hug. You managed to hold it together with him but as soon as you were home you broke down.

You felt awful, this whole thing could of been fixed if you would if you would of just listened to him for a little longer but you didn’t let him and blew everything you had into pieces.

Woodys words were playing on your mind and had been for a whole week. Looking back, you now understood why he was he was so angry with you that night, you didn’t give him a chance to say his piece and made your mind up for yourself that he didn’t want you there. The dust had settled but there was no way of talking to him and no way resolution right now but all you could think about what what you would say to him if you got the chance.

It was Friday, you’d just got in from work and you felt like curling up into a ball and crying. Nothing had gone right all day and you were craving one of those hug only Mason could give you.

He was always so warm and welcoming, his hugs like no one else’s as they seemed to warm you from the inside and it’s like you could still feel him wrapped around you as you thought about him. Everything about him was perfect and you’d let him slip through your fingers with no real way of getting in contact with him as your number was blocked. All you could think about was him and holding him to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore.

It was like something inside you snapped. You were in your room in a flash to quickly pull a bag of clothes together before making your way to the train station. You didn’t think about any of it, just booked yourself a ticket and got on a train. The only thought in your head was going to find Mason so you could apologise and make him see sense but you were 20 minutes in when you realised you had no idea where he lived or where he’d be.

You tried calling Woody but he didn’t answer, feeling hopeless that you’d dropped a load of money on a train ticket and a last minute hotel room for nothing when the perfect person sprung to mind.

To say Luke was surprised to hear from you would be an understatement, you’d met him a couple of times at games or when Mason played for England and he was initially a bit cautious but once you turned the waterworks on you felt his resolve crumble. He let you know there was a big party they were all going to tonight for a mutual friends birthday and to text him when you were there so he could come and get you and you couldn’t be more thankful. A sick, excited feeling in the pit of your tummy as you knew you’d finally be able to see him.

By the time you’d made it to your hotel and make yourself look semi presentable it was around 11pm and it was another half hour from there so you were hoping Mason was still in a relatively sensible state but you’d take him however he came at this point. You just needed to see him.

‘Where are you going?’ Mason called, watching Luke try to slip through the crowds but he held up his phone as if he was telling him he was off to take a call.

‘I won’t be long yeah? Just stay there’ like called before he was quickly out of sight. Where is he expecting me to go? He thought, eyes flittering around the group he was in and even though he was happy to be there, the sadness in his tummy was still dragging him down and times like this made it even worse.

‘Mason?’ he suddenly heard a voice say to his left and his head snapped round to meet it. Eyes lighting up at the sight in front of him as he held his arms out for the much smaller frame to fit into with a huge smile on his face.

As promised, Luke came and met you by the door and after a big hug of reassurance he lead you over to hopefully where Mason would be.

‘Mason’ you heard Luke call over the music, fighting your way through the bodies at the perimeter of the table until your eyes landed directly on his. You wished you could of looked away though as the sight in front of you made you feel sick.

There he stood, his arm around another girls waist as her lips trialed across his jaw. The smile on his face was the one that was usually reserved for you but you watched it drop at the sight of you and it was like you could feel your heart shatter in your chest.

‘What is she doing here?’ Mason growled, body swaying as he’d had more than enough to drink. His anger was directed towards Luke for now but his furious eyes were on you before he had a chance to reply. ‘I don’t fucking want you here’

You couldn’t handle another second even though you’d just got there but you were hurt and embarrassed enough so you turned on your heel and headed out the way you came. You could hear Luke’s voice booming over the music but you didn’t listen to what he was saying, just trying to get out as quickly as you could and as the cold air hit you, you felt your eyes finally start to sting.

You didn’t know what to do or where to go but you fished your phone out of your bag so you could call yourself a taxi through your tears whilst walking down the side of the building to get out of everyone’s way.

The sound of a door slamming behind you made you jump, looking round to see the last person you thought would of followed you out but Mason was looking back at you. Eyes hard and jaw set and he made his way over but he stopped before he got too close.

‘Why are you here, y/n?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Don’t give me that bullshit’ he snarled, his words slightly slurred as he balled his hands into fists. ‘Tell me why you’re here’

‘You blocked me and-‘

‘Are you joking?’ He laughed but you knew there was no humour in it. ‘Why the hell would I want to talk to you?’

‘Mase I-‘

‘Do you not remember the last bit of contact we had? I tried reaching out to leave things on good terms even though you’d been completely unreasonable and you send me fucking thumbs up? Ten months together and that’s all I deserve? a thumbs up?’

‘I didn’t-‘

‘No you fucking abandoned me’ he growled. ‘I needed you and you let me come here on my own’

‘But you said-‘

‘I know what I said but I didn’t fucking mean it like that’ he snapped.

‘I’m so sorry’ you breathed. ‘I didn’t even know if you want me to come with you’

‘Why would I not want you to come? You’re my everything. Were my everything sorry’

‘Mase please-‘

‘You wanna know what I’ve found most difficult about all of this? you never even let me speak, you made your mind up for the both of us and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you to choose me and you didn’t’ he breathed. His eyes full of tears and you couldn’t help but feel like the worst person in the world as he swayed slightly before regaining his balance.

‘You told me you didn’t want me to come’

‘No I never. I said I didn’t expect you to join me right then and there cause you had your own shit to sort but I never for one second said I didn’t want you here. You just jumped down my throat and told me what you thought I meant before I had a chance to say anything. I really saw a future with you but you obviously didn’t see one with me’ he sniffed.

You wanted to tell him he was wrong. That the only future you saw was with him and life had been hell without him but you knew it probably wouldn’t make a difference at this point so you kept silent, the only sound you could hear were his ragged breathing as he tried to calm himself. You expected him to be surprised to see you but nothing could of prepared you for this and when he looked up to meet your eyes again you felt your insides shatter at how vulnerable he seemed.

‘Sometimes I wish you would of just done the honourable thing and cheated on me’ he confessed quietly. ‘like I wish you would of made me hate you but I can’t’ he whimpered and it took everything in you not to reach for him and comfort him. ‘I’ve painted you out to be the villain to everyone to try and make it easier on myself and I know you’re not but all of this is so fucking hard. I just wanna move on and I can’t and you showing up here doesn’t make it any easier’

‘It didn’t look like you were finding it difficult to move on in there’ you muttered under your breath and you hadn’t meant for the words to slip out but your ego was still bruised from seeing him with someone else.

‘Don’t you dare turn this around on me’ he growled, becoming furious again at what you’d said and you knew it was a low blow so you shook yourself off try and apologise and bring him back around.

‘Mase can we please just talk. I’ve come all this way, please just listen to me’ you pleaded, stepping towards him and even though he didn’t move away from you, keeping completely still, you felt your heart sink even further.

‘I don’t want to’

‘Please Mase. Come on, it’s me. You know me and you know how awful I feel about all of it’

‘Do I know you?’ He questioned. ‘My y/n would of never let me come here on my own. My y/n would of stuck by me like I always did for her’

‘I’m still yours Mase, please’ you cried, reaching for him so you could cup his jaw and your heart thudded in your chest as his head melted into your hands but he was snapped out of it almost instantly, his hands grabbing your wrists gently so he could pull you off and you couldn’t help but sob as he let go of you.

‘I need you to listen to me yeah?’ He swallowed, his eyes looking directly into yours and you could see how hard they were even in the dark. ‘You broke my heart, y/n’ he said tearfully, his voice raw like he’d been screaming for hours. He words hitting you like a tone of bricks and even though you knew it already, it hurt ten times worse to hear it coming from his lips. ‘Stamped all over it and I’ll never be able to forget how you made me feel’

‘I made a mistake, Mason. I’m here to fix it. To fix us’

‘You can’t’ he told you flatly and it was only then you let you first tears fall.

It may have been your blurred vision but you thought you saw his facade crack ever so slightly, wondering you were finally getting through to him but his stoney exterior was back in the blink of an eye and you knew there was no point talking to him in this state but you still desperately tried.

‘Mason please, I’ll do anything-‘

‘Look, I think you should go. I want you to go’ he gulped, reaching for his phone. ‘I’ll get you an Uber yeah, just put in where you’re staying’

‘You’re not giving me a chance’

‘You never gave us a chance in the first place’ he whimpered, ‘please I can’t do this right now y/n I just need you to go’ he told you, handing you his phone and you realised there was no point in arguing.

‘It’s fine I’ll get it myself’ you sighed, quickly opening the app but before you could confirm the booking you looked back up to him. If this was it and you were done then you couldn’t leave without a proper goodbye. Everything inside of you was telling you to stop but you didn’t listen, you let your heart speak for you even though you knew you’d be crushed. ‘I know I don’t really have a right to ask but please can I kiss you? Just one more time so I can say goodbye properly’ you asked and just as you were expecting, he shook his head to say no. ‘Okay. I’ll go’ you whispered, turning to walk back onto the street to find your taxi, the sinking feeling threatening to drown you but his hand on your wrist stopped you in your tracks.

His lips were on yours on a flash, snapping you out of your upset trance as you shivered at his touch. It wasn’t the soft goodbye kiss you were hoping for, he was rough and holding your waist in a tight grip as you tried to kiss him back with as much force but he was pulling away soon after.

‘Fuck, I shouldn’t of done that’ he whispered, turning around to walk back inside and you thought better than to reach for him again but your brain was still trying to fight for him.

‘Please, Mason. I can’t loose you’ you called, voice thick with tears as he stopped at the door. You watched as his turned ever so slightly, eyes downcast before sticking the final knife in.

‘You already have’

He didn’t turn back, slamming the door on the way inside and you let him go, biting your lip to keep your emotions at bay as you stumbled back onto the main Street. Your Uber was only a few moments away and you were soon heading off, eyes looking up as you passed the main entrance but you wished you would of looked away sooner.

He had his head down and his hood up, but you knew it was him. The girl who was draped over him inside now had her hand clasped in his as she followed behind him into a taxi and you felt like throwing up all over the back seat. You felt at blame for the whole misunderstanding and watching him take another girl home was the least you felt you deserved.

Woody eventually returned your call just as you got to your room. You managed to hold it together but you could tell he knew you were upset as you told him you’d come to speak to Mason and it didn’t end well. He tried convincing you to let him speak to Mason tomorrow before you left but you told him there was no point and you promised you’d give him a call when you were back home the next day.

That wasn’t the end of Woody’s calls that night though, with Mason calling him about an hour after to let him know he’d seen you and the huff that Woody let out let him know Woody wasn’t happy with him.

‘First of all mate, it’s 2am. I know you live a few hours away now but that doesn’t mean we’re living in different time zones like could this not of waited?’

‘Sorry mate, I just didn’t know who to talk to’ Mason said sadly and Woody felt bad instantly but between you and Mason crying on the phone to him about each other he wanted to bang your heads together.

‘Look I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I saw y/n last week. She was in that cafe you used to go to for breakfast and she looked miserable as fuck like I’ve never seen her that sad. She tried calling you but you’ve blocked her number again haven’t you?’

‘She’s got no reason to be sad, she threw me out’ Mason replied, ignoring his comment about blocking your number as he’d only done it a few days ago and he still felt weird about it.

‘Cause she thought you were ending things mate. She got the wrong end of the stick and she jumped the gun’ he explained, stopping Mason in his tracks immediately. ‘I’ve just had her on the phone in tears cause you’ve basically done the same. Didn’t give her a chance to talk and apologise and then left with some girl’

‘How does she know that?’

‘She saw you get in the car with her, she’s in bits mate. Like nothing I said would calm her down or make her listen to me. What the fuck did you say to her man?’

It was true, you’d cried all night as the vision of him with someone else stung and all you could think about was what they might be doing together at this very second. You hadn’t been able to look at someone else let alone do what he was doing and no matter what you did the vision of the pair of them wouldn’t go.

You thought he would of been upset or shocked to see you but the anger rolling off of him had been a surprise and you knew now that there was no going back. He was done with you, trying his hardest to move on and you told yourself that when you got back home you’d do the same so you quickly went to his number in your phone and blocked it just like he’d done with you.

You woke up early the end morning, checking the train times to see the next one was in an hour so you quickly packed up and let reception know you needed a taxi to the station. It hurt knowing your trip here had been in vein but you told yourself at least you’d tried. He just hadn’t wanted to hear and that was fine.

As soon as the lift pinged open you could hear Masons voice and the sound of it shocked you. He sounded desperate and you followed it to the reception where he appeared to be arguing with the receptionist.

‘Look, I know she’s here, you know she’s here so just let me know what room she’s in-‘

‘Sir I’ve already explained I’m not allowed to do that’

‘Well then call her room’

‘Sir-‘

‘You’re not listening to me’

‘Mason?’ You questioned, coming to a stop a few meters behind him and you watched him whip round at the sound of you voice. A look of relief washing over him at the sight of you before he took a few frantic steps towards you.

‘Y/n thank god, I thought I’d missed you’

‘Why are you here?’ You asked but he was cut off from answering by the doorman.

‘Miss y/l/n, your taxi should be here in about five minutes’

‘No, don’t go. Please don’t go not yet’ he panicked, turning to the doorman so he could speak to him next. ‘It’s okay you can cancel that she doesn’t need it’

‘Mason, what’s going on?’

‘I don’t want you to leave like this. You came here for a reason and I know I’ve fucked it but please’ he whispered, holding your jaw as he looked into your eyes. ‘Please don’t go yet. Come back to mine and we’ll talk yeah? Properly talk and figure things out’

‘Mase-‘

‘Please. Please bubs I’ll do anything you want-‘

‘Okay it’s okay’ you interrupted, holding his wrists as he still cradled your face in his hands. His eyes switching from frantic to relieved in an instant at your words as he let out a breath. ‘Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m coming yeah?’ You told him, heart threatening to jump from your body at the old pet name he used to call you but this is what you came here for. To talk properly and even if things were over you wanted nothing unsaid.

‘Okay’ he nodded shyly, suddenly aware of the scene he’d caused in the hotel reception so he grabbed the handle of your case with one hand whilst the other lead you outside by the small of your back. ‘I’m just round here’ he mumbled when you were close and you let him pop your case in the boot as you got settled in the passenger seat.

The drive was silent, Mason focused on the road as you looked out onto the unfamiliar Manchester streets but you couldn’t take anything in. Too focused on what you were going to say to him when you got to his and you could still feel his hands on your jaw as he’d pleaded with you to stay.

You were shocked when he suddenly pulled into the drive of an impressive house, a similar style to his Cobham home but a little more cozy looking and you retuned his shy smile as he turned the engine off before you both got out. He lead you inside and into the living room where you took a seat on one of the sofas and he sat opposite you whilst he played with his fingers.

‘Can I get you anything?’

‘I’m okay thanks’

‘Do you have a train you need to get?’

‘The one I booked leaves in ten minutes but it’s fine I’ll get another one’

‘Sorry I didn’t even think’

‘No it’s fine, I’d rather us talk’ you reassured him and even thought he sent you a smile he still looked troubled as his eyes flickered over you but you were settled by the tiny smile that appeared.

‘Nice hoodie’ he commented, you face burning as you knew he’d recognised it as his own. The same one he’d left at yours that fateful night and the one you’d been wearing for comfort so you dipped your head out of embarrassment. ‘You wanna go first? I don’t even know where to start’ he chuckled.

‘I sort of do’ you murmured before gulping nervously. This was probably the last thing you should be saying but you had to know before you carried on as the thought had been eating you alive. ‘About last night, I know I don’t have a right to ask but, that girl? Did um-‘

‘Nothing happened’ he breathed, head falling into his hands. ‘We went back to hers but I didn’t even get out of the taxi. I only met her for the first time last night, we’ve been texting for a few days but nothing more. She was just a distraction from… well you know’ he told you, eyes never meeting yours but you knew he’d seen you nod. ‘And that’s the problem, all I’ve been doing is trying to distract myself cause it hurts too much to think about anything else but I realised last night I can’t carry on like this’

‘I’m so sorry, Mason’ you whispered tearfully, watching his head drop into his hands even further as he clearly didn’t want you to see how upset he was but all you could think about was comforting him so against your better judgement you stood up and made your way over to him. He hadn’t moved a muscle so you knelt down in between his knees and placed your hands on his thighs in hopes he would look at you but his eyes stayed stuck shut. You weren’t ready to give up yet though, squeezing his thighs gently as you tapped your head against his arm. ‘Mase? Look at me’ you whispered before he swallowed heavily, head moving ever so slightly and the sadness in his eyes broke you.

You didn’t say a word, just knelt up and snaked your arms around his shoulders so you could pull him into a hug and to your surprise he let you, his head finding home in your neck just like it used to as he held you to him and it was as if all the stress in his body left him as he melted into you.

‘I’ve missed you so much’ he confessed quietly into your neck, the feel of his lips on your skin sending shivers down your spine as your heart thudded in your chest. You couldn’t describe how it felt to be back in his arms but you wished it was under different circumstances.

‘I’ve missed you too’ you told him. ‘But that doesn’t make what I did okay. I know that’

‘I really needed you. This has all been so hard’

‘I’m so sorry’ you choked, squeezing him even harder as he did the same. ‘Will you let me explain?’

‘Okay’ he gulped, pulling back from you but helping you taking a seat next to him. You felt a little awkward and unsure of yourself but when he threaded his fingers through yours and kept them in his lap you relaxed ever so slightly. The feel of him giving you the strength to speak.

‘In all honesty, I wasn’t sure you wanted me to come here. I get the deal was up in the air and you weren’t even sure if it would happen but we didn’t talk about any possibility of me coming with you and I just assumed you wanted to go on your own at first. Or maybe it was your way of letting me know you didn’t want me there at all but when you said I didn’t have to worry about coming here I thought you were giving me an out and ending things. I only took it because I believed that’s what you wanted and I thought you were breaking up with me’

‘That’s not what I wanted at all, I just assumed you were coming’ he laughed, rubbing his eyes with the heal of his hand. ‘I know we didn’t speak about it but I had a million things on my mind and the possibility of you not coming with me wasn’t one of them’ he whispered ‘everything was changing you know? But you were the one certain thing I had, I didn’t even think I had to ask. Remember you told me, wherever I go, that’s where you’ll be’

‘I know and I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head bowed as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘You had so much going on in those months and all I did was think about myself’

‘Come on love, you don’t have to beat yourself up about it’ he told you softly, pulling you into his grasp again so you could calm down to speak again properly but all you wanted was to hear his side. You’d spent the last two months being annoyed at him for no reason and you were desperate know how he was feeling.

‘I think it might be good if we just get things out in the open, you know? Let’s not leave anything unsaid’ you told him and he nodded lightly.

‘You sure?’ He asked and you nodded with a gulp.

‘I just wanna know how you were feeling’

‘Well I was pissed for a long time. I didn’t understand anything it’s like you’d just changed in a nano second. And then when I got here and I was settled I was more sad you know? just waiting for you to reach out to tell me you missed me too but the longer it took the more mad I got again. That’s why I went off on one last night like I think it’s just all built up. But I’m sorry for how I spoke to you and I’m sorry for kissing you and walking away that wasn’t fair of me no matter how drunk I was. Being close to you again just bought all these feelings up a I lost it a bit. I’m sorry you had to see me with that girl too but I’ve spoken to her this morning and said I don’t want to see her anymore’

‘Do you really wish I’d of cheated on you?’ You asked, voice barely above a whisper but you knew he’d heard as he shuffled over to you a touch.

‘A little bit’ he laughed. ‘I mean not now obviously but it would of made not wanting you a lot easier. Cause that’s never gone away you know? I’ve wanted you this whole time, loved you this whole time, no matter how mad I got’

You were overwhelmed by how nice he was being, a stark contrast from how he’d spoken to you yesterday but you were still unsure as to how things would end. Was this just a polite goodbye before you made your way home? Mason had never been that hard to read a whilst he was saying all the right things you knew you’d pushed him to the edge and getting him back wouldn’t be easy.

‘Hey come on’ he whispered, pulling you into his body before leaning back a bit. You felt like you didn’t have right to cry, you were the one who blew up first and wouldn’t listen to him but the fact you’d gotten it so wrong made your heart hurt and wished you could go back in time and hear him out.

His arms around you were more comforting than you ever thought they could be, his smell hitting you like a slap in the face as the soft skin of his neck was pressed up against your face but you felt your heart beat slow down as he grounded you. His hands rubbing over your back and arms to comfort you and even though everything was up in the air, you finally felt like you were home again.

‘I didn’t talk to you about that stuff because I just wanted one person who didn’t look at me like I was the worst person on the planet’ he explained, your mind thinking back to the awful way he’d been spoken about with only a few people in his corner. ‘Chelsea was all I knew, and to have them want to just toss me aside like that hurt more than I could ever tell you but with you I never felt bad. You were my little escape you know?’ He chuckled, kissing your temple lightly which made you squeeze him even harder. ‘I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere for so long, but I always did with you’

‘I feel so dumb’ you laughed tearfully. ‘I think I was just being defensive like trying to hurt you before you hurt me’

‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you’ he told you gently. ‘In my head, I was gonna move up here, go on the tour and stuff whilst a house was being sorted and then when I was back you’d join me. Looking back I guess I should of said something sooner, you don’t live in my head so you’ve got not way of knowing what I’m thinking’

‘But I should of given you a chance to explain’ you mumbled, finally moving out of his neck so you could look at him properly and you were happy to see the sadness in his eyes had somewhat lifted but he was still looking to you concerned. ‘I was just butt hurt that you might be leaving and you hadn’t taken me into consideration but I should of let you explain. I’ve been so mad at you so that’s why I haven’t tried to reach out but it’s because I didn’t understand and now I do I just feel like the worst person in the world’ you cried, choking backs sobs at the end but his lips on your forehead settled you down again.

‘If I would of known then I would of stopped everything to follow you here. You were right, where you go I go and I’m so angry at myself for not thinking straight and being there for you when you needed me most. I can only imagine what you must of been going through leading up to it and for me to then just blow up at you like that wasn’t fair and I’m so sorry’

‘Come on sweetheart, don’t get upset’

‘I’ve ruined everything’ you sobbed, head in your hands agin before he pulled you even closer.

‘Shhhh baby no, you haven’t okay’ he reassured you. ‘You’re here now yeah? And we’re on the same page so there’s no need for all these tears’ he laughed, trying to make light of the situation so you forced yourself to calm down, wiping your eyes on the sleeves off his hoodie before looking up into his soft face.

‘Are you happy here?’

‘I am’ he told you sincerely. ‘Like yeah it’s been a bit weird just leaving everything behind but I’m really happy here’

You nodded, a weird feeling in your tummy at how settled he was and whilst you were anything but back home it eased your mind to know you didn’t have to worry about him being here.

‘I’d be happier if you were here with me’ he suddenly whispered, nose bumping yours before he pressed a kiss to the crease in between your brows.

‘What?’

‘Will you come with me?’ He asked, seeming ignoring your question but you nodded your head and let him lead you by the hand upstairs towards the back of the house, opening a door up to a random room but the sight inside took your breath away.

It was a light and airy room, a large desk set up against the wall with two monitors and your favourite chair from Masons Cobham home that you stole whenever you worked from there was perched under the desk. There were plants and cute pictures all over the walls and a little mini fridge off the other side but it was the patio doors that lead out to a balcony that overlooked the huge garden made you smile.

‘What’s this?’ You laughed, your heart racing as he settled his hands on your hips and popped his chin in your head.

‘Your home office. I had it set up for you just in case you came to your senses in the first few weeks but I haven’t been able to come back in here since’ he laughed. ‘Sorry about the dust’

‘Mase’ you breathed, turning to face him so you could wrap your arms around his body as he caged you against himself. You could feel the tears coming but for a whole different reason this time.

‘It’s still yours if you want it’

‘Really?’

‘You don’t think I made a fool out of myself in that hotel and made you come here just for the fun of it did you?’ He laughed, thumb stroking your cheek as you gazed up at him lovingly. ‘It’s up to you, but I know I’ve been miserable without you and all I’ve thought about is having you here. Not just in this house but everywhere. I’ve found places we can go eat that I know you’ll love, there’s a park not too far away with a big lake so we can go feed the ducks like we used to’

‘Got it all figured out huh?’ You laughed, your body filling with warmth with his words.

‘I’d like to think so’ he winked ‘We can take it slowly you know? I’m not asking you to move in with me straight away but when you’re ready maybe I can take you out on a date? You know like catch up a bit and if it’s something we both realise we still want we can go from there’

‘Even after everything I said to you?’

‘It was a misunderstanding bubs, It happens’ he whispered, kissing your cheeky gently ‘we both could of probably done better but we live and we learn’ he carried on, pressing delicate kisses across your cheek and over your nose before making his way down to your lips. ‘I think we’re both sorry and regret what happened right?

‘Yeah’

‘So the only thing to do is accept it and try to move forward’ he continued, his kisses getting closer to your lips and you felt like you were in some sort of trance.

‘Okay’

‘Y/n’ he whispered, pressing a final kiss to the corner of your mouth and the feel of it made you knees weak.

‘Yeah?’

‘Can I kiss you now?’

You couldn’t answer him with words, just nodding before his hands came up to cup your jaw so he couldn’t tilt your head back. You couldn’t stop looking at him, he was so beautiful up close and you’d missed looking at all the features that made him special. But you couldn’t look for too much longer, his eyes on your lips and face leaning closer to yours as he finally gave you what you both wanted.

You both sighed into each others mouths as you finally kissed, relief filling your body at finally feeling his lips on yours. Your body felt as light as air as the pain from the last few months disappeared from your body and he mended you back together with his lips. It was a stark contrast from the way he’d kissed you last night and you were desperately trying not to smile and ruin the moment but you couldn’t help yourself. You were happy and whole again and the feel of Masons smile on your lips made you chuckle.

The pair of you pulled back, eyes shining as you got lost in each other for a second. Feeling the joy radiate from him as he smiled down at you and you hoped your expression was telling the same to him.

‘If you want, we can sack that date off and I’ll just move in right now’ you winked, watching his eyes sparkle as he laughed. You’d meant it as a joke but after a few seconds you realised the thought of going back home right now was the last thing you wanted.

‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed. ‘What about all your stuff? And work?’

‘Stop being the voice of reason’ you laughed, pulling away every so slightly but he was quick to cage you back in.

‘You don’t have to move here now. It’s a lot to ask and I know that’

‘But I want to. I’ve wanted to this whole time and I don’t want to waste another second without you. I don’t need a date to realise if this is what I want cause it’s what I’ve wanted since you came here’ you told him, you face resting his hand as his soft eyes flickered over you. ‘But I suppose you’re right. I really should run stuff passed work and get stuff sorted at home’

‘We’ve got time’ he smiled before placing a light kiss to your forehead. ‘What do you think of the place? I haven’t been here that long and we can change whatever you like about it’

‘No i love it, it’s very you’ you laughed as he took your hand to lead you outside.

‘Well, soon it will be very us’ he winked, walking you back through so he could give you a tour and you were impressed by all of it. The kitchen was your favourite though and you let him sit you up on the counter as he stood between your legs. You fingers lost in the back of his hair as he smiled up at you and all you wanted to to lean down and kiss him.

‘Why the change of heart Mase?’ You asked quietly, watching the blush take over his cheeks. ‘Last night you couldn’t stand the sight of me’

‘I may of called Woody after I got home. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear from me at that time but I told him what happened and he let me know he’d seen you earlier in the week and spoken to you last night. Said that you’d got the wrong end of the stick and you were upset about it and I just thought if you left then there was no going back, you know? I don’t want us to be done yet’

‘Me either’ you smiled, eyes filling with tears again as you looked over his perfect face. ‘So I didn’t loose you then?’

‘No even for a second’ he whispered, pressing his lips to yours gently. ‘We kind of owe Woody a lot huh?’

‘We do’ you smiled. ‘He’s put up with a lot of our shit’

‘Well he won’t have to anymore, we’re back where we belong. With each other’ he smiled before melting his head in your neck to you could hold him and all you could think about was not wanting to belong anywhere else but here ever again.

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be right?’

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be’ he repeated softly, a gentle smile taking over his lips as he looked at you lovingly.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 I would really appreciate some feedback on this so please feel free to drop me an ask or a comment or whatever you feel comfortable doing. I’d just love to hear from you 😌

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Catwoman's new sidekick (dc x dp)

This is very loosely inspired by this prompt. Enjoy the blurb:)

Danny didn’t really like guns. Not the ecto-weapons his parents made, but the actual bullet-filled guns. He knew how to use them, as that was what his parents had based themselves off of to create their own ectoplasm-powered version of it, but he didn’t like them. So when he’d found one not only loaded, but with the safety off in his apartment’s garbage bin, he’d plan to take it and go throw it in the river to make sure nobody would get to use it. Danny wasn’t exactly shocked to see it, this was Gotham after all, but it was a bit of a nasty surprise to say the least. It wasn’t like it could really hurt him anymore, it seemed halfas had a sort of built-in instinct for going intangible (which had explained why the Nasty-Burger-explosion-that-never-happened hadn’t affected him despite being taken completely by surprise).

Not to mention he was already in a bad mood at the news that Vlad was in the city right now for some rich guy nonsense, which Danny was 100% sure meant the fruitloop was going to come by to bother him at some point in the next few days.

“Hello, Daniel,” came Vlad’s voice from behind him as if summoned.

“Get away from me, you creep,” Danny answered, not turning around. Instead, he started walking in the opposite direction.

“Is that anyway to talk to your unckie Vlad?” The man said with his smarmy tone. “And I came by such a long way to come see you.”

“You saw me, now you can leave.” Danny didn’t bother turning his head as Vlad caught up so they were walking side by side.

The billionaire tsked as he looked around. “It’s such a shame you live in such a poor neighbourhood. You know the offer to pay for your tuition is still open.”

“Not in a million years,” Danny answered dryly.

“You’re just as stubborn as my dear Madeleine used to be,” Vlad sighed and Danny felt the disgust twist his features into a grimace.

“Still being a creepy disgusting old loner, Vlad?” Danny snarked. “How many cats are you on, number 5?”

There was flash of anger in the older man’s eye before he smirked. “And how is dear Danielle these days, it’s been so long since she came by. I think she’ll be due for another meltdown soon.”

On impulse, Danny raised the gun, knowing full well the man would go intangible faster than any bullet and pointed it at Vlad. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“Oh please, Daniel,” Vlad scoffed. “What are you going to do, shoot me?”

“Maybe,” Danny retorted.

“It wouldn’t change anything,” Vlad dismissed.

“Might make me feel better,” Danny said even as he lowered the gun a bit, knowing it wouldn’t do anything.

Vlad knew this just as well, and he sneered before turning his back to Danny and walking away with a parting shot. “I always get what I want, Daniel. Whether it’s through you or her.”

The gun that Danny had lowered slightly now came back up. He was so tempted to empty the stupid thing at Vlad, no matter if it would all pass through him. Before he could do anything though, a voice from above sounded.

“He’s not worth it, kid.”

Danny looked up to find the masked face of Catwoman peering down on him.

“He deserves worse than this,” Danny said, mind still on the temptation of shooting at Vlad’s intangible back. This was a deserted part of the city, it wasn’t like it would hurt anyone else.

“I promise there are better ways to make him pay,” Catwoman answered.

Danny scoffed bitterly. “Vlad’s so rich, he can pay off anyone and cover up any scandal I could think of.” And if money didn’t work, there was always straight-up overshadowing innocent bystanders.

The masked woman hesitated for a while before she called down determinately. “Look, get rid of the gun, and I promise I’ll help you make him pay.”

“Really?” Danny wasn’t too sure what that entailed but anything that would hinder Vlad was a go for him. “You promise?”

“I do,” she stated with conviction. “But you have to lose the gun.”

“Yeah, ok,” Danny said. He was going to do it anyways, but if she wanted it gone even faster, Danny wasn’t going to argue.

Selina watched as her new sidekick dropped off the gun into the river. It fell in with a splash that had something in her curling comfortably. Maybe Bruce was really rubbing off on her if she was picking up strays

But, Selina had a good feeling about this. Talking a kid out of murder had been how Batman had gotten his first Robin, after all.

[aestheticaltcow]

The Social Media Manager: The Series (Part 2)

Another installment of the social media manager series

Another shout out to @thebearsoc for the inspiration!

The Bear Masterlist

Previous part Next part

Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

“Wait, wait, wait-” Richie started rubbing a hand against the back of his head, “You’re tellin’ me, Marcus’s party girl 20-somethin’ year old friend is getting access to our social media? That’s bull, and you know it, Natalie.”  

Natalie rolled her eyes and glanced in Marcus’s direction, “Marcus, Rusty has done this before, right?”  he nodded before explaining, “Nat, Richie, I’m tellin’ ya’, Rusty is really good at this shit. Just give her a shot.” 

Carmy entered the sitting area of The Bear and sat next to Natalie without saying anything, “I don’t think we can afford this, Marcus. I’m sure Rusty is a wonderful social media manager, but the budgets tight.” Natalie sighed, staring at her computer screen.

 “That's the thing- you guys have a hookup.” Marcus grinned, hoping that this would be enough of a selling point. “Rusty owes me one. She’d probably do the setup for free, and I can do all the posting. She helped me redo my account when I came back from Cophegan- I went from like 100 followers to like 1,000 in a month.” 

Carmy looked around the group before nodding in Marcus’s direction, “Call her.”

Carmy stood up and walked out of the dining area through the kitchen and into the office, where his phone had been plugged in to charge. He quickly opened his phone, went to the seldomly used Instagram app, typed in your handle, and smiled as your account came up. He’d been Instagram stalking you since he’d heard Marcus giving Syd your handle. She’d laughed about it being a reference to a K-pop group he’d never heard of; granted, he’d never really listened to any of those groups. So far, he’d learned that you have an eclectic taste in music, an affinity for putting googly eyes on potted plants, a love for fancy coffees with overpriced pastries, and had, in fact, known Marcus since high school. He liked your style. There was something free about it; he admired your creativity. Carmy took notes about you through the account. Your highlight reels being indicative of your personality, the ‘Rusty cooking??’ highlight reel was particularly traumatizing. He wondered how you’d gotten into your 20s without knowing how to actually chop an onion, but he could show you how to do it properly; just the idea of that made his heart flutter. Carmy was incredibly attracted to you, but when you’d posted a boomerang of you kissing a guy’s cheek and tagged the guy’s account with a heart emoji, he was worried this would be another unrequited crush. 

When you walked into The Bear the next day in a pair of trousers with your hair up and a pair of glasses perched on your nose, Carmy felt like his heart was going to explode. He beelined for the bathroom to make sure he didn’t have anything in his teeth and washed his hands in an attempt to get the smell of cigarettes off his hands before going to talk to you. 

“So that’s what I would recommend doing for TikTok. The algorithm is tricky, but once you get on its good side, it can be really great publicity.” Carmy swallowed as he listened to you explain your strategy to Natalie and Richie. Natalie seemed impressed, while Richie seemed wary. “This is all really great Rusty. Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.” Natalie smiled as she shuffled a pile of documents into a yellow folder. You shrugged and responded with a playful laugh before explaining that work had been slow at the moment, so you had some extra free time to take a peak at the analytics you could see without access to the account details. 

After Richie and Natalie said their goodbyes, Richie was still seemingly cold toward hiring a social media manager and you in general. The two of them discussed it as they walked toward the kitchen. Carmy waited until they had walked through the kitchen door before approaching you. If he struck out with you he’d prefer not to do it within earshot of his sister and Richie; he’d never live it down. “Hey.” Carmy greeted awkwardly, rocking on his heels.

You smiled back, “Hey you. Long time no see.” Carmy blushed at your flirtatious tone. “How you doin’ Carmy? Spendin’ a lot of time on Instagram, huh?” 

Carmy needed some clarification on the comment. You noticed and giggled before explaining, “You liked a picture on my account from like two years ago.” Carmy tightly grinned out of embarrassment. He hesitantly nodded, “Uh yeah—Marcus recommended you do our social media stuff… I just wanted to check out what you post.” 

He hoped he saved himself, but self-doubt was taking over. He watched as you began twirling a strand of hair on your index finger. “It’s okay, Carmy. I think you’re cute, and I’m going out on Friday with a couple of friends… if you happen to show up at this bar across town called The White Rabbit, I might let you buy me a drink.” 

Carmy was speechless. He was by no means an experienced dater, and within that limited experience, he’d never had a girl come onto him like this. You noticed his awkwardness and found it endearing. “No pressure. You can also just call me sometime.”

 You pulled a Sharpie out of your bag and grabbed Carmy’s wrist to write your number across his forearm, “Bye, Carmy.” you winked before walking past him, making sure he’d get a whiff of your perfume. 

“B-bye Rus-sty.” Carmy managed to stutter out as he watched you walk out of the front entrance. He pushed the heel of his hand against his jaw. You were different, and it scared him, but also found it enchanting.

[serasfanfiction]

Inspired by this Twitter thread.

Part 1

If asked about it later, Lucifer would have sworn it was an accident.

Well, his discovery was. Everything else? That was 100% on purpose.

The incident in question came about like most interactions with Alastor. Alastor messes with Lucifer (for no reason, Lucifer might add). Lucifer retaliates (with mixed results). Alastor tries to get under his skin. Lucifer casually reminds him can squish that little static bitch like a bug, thank you very much.

And so on and so forth, most only stopping when Charlie interrupts them.

It was all going pretty much to script. Alastor had just made a comment about his parenting skills - look, he knew he had messed up, but he was here, now, and trying! - to grind his gears when Lucifer found himself inspired.

Alastor wanted to rile him up? Well, fine! Two could play at this game.

Because while Lucifer's parenting skills - or lack there of - was a sore spot, Alastor wasn't without his own triggers. Case and point: The Radio Demon absolutely loathed it when men touched him. Granted, he didn't like it when anyone he didn't tolerate touched him, but men in particular was a hard no-no.

Lucifer honestly tried not to poke that beast. He knew why all of his people, these wretched and terrible sinners, were in Hell. All he had to do was take one hard look at any of them and he'd know. And oh, how he knew every single one of Alastor's victims. Could lay the names of all of them, especially that first one, at his feet if only he thought Alastor regretted even a single one of those deaths.

So he knew why the seemingly unflappable radio host hated to be touched and he genuinely tried to respect that boundary even when his own weren't respected.

But sometimes Alastor pushed and pushed until he got his reaction.

In this case, it was Lucifer in a small duck form landing right on Alastor's head.

Alastor froze as the Devil laughed at him, static emitting from him like he'd hit a bad station. Lucifer took advantage of the opening to nip at one of the tufts of hair he'd always seen sticking up on the guy's hair, only to realize:

"Are these ears?"

He let out a quack of pure delight. On either side of him, the little black antlers he'd never really paid attention to began to enlarge. Lucifer proceeded to put two-and-two together and got: "Wait, are you a deer? Does that mean you have a tai--"

He was cut off by an overly large black and red claw swipping him right off of Alastor's head. It was at this point, Lucifer realized that Alastor had grown in size, eyes manic and maw agape. He clearly intended to take his chances with attempting to eat his king.

Which, rude. Clearly, he needed to learn to take it if he was going to dish it out.

Lucifer easily shifted into a serpentine form, before slithering out of Alastor's grip. To avoid the drop, he shifted back into duck form, keeping just out of reach.

"Ha!" He taunted. "The dreadful Radio Demon, hell bent on treating everyone else like prey, when really--"

"Dad!"

Lucifer spun around, spotting none other than Charlie. While her interruption was indeed like clock work, the look of disappointment on her face was new. And so terribly damning.

Lucifer fluttered to the ground, taking to his humanoid form as he touched down. Behind him, his nemesis creaked oddly, as if his bones no longer had any cushioning between them. "Hey, Charlie, I..." He trailed off as his daughter didn't spare her hotel's manager the slightest glance. They all knew what to expect from Alastor. Alastor would always be none other than himself. She'd clearly expected more from her father.

Who'd just as clearly disappointed her.

Again.

Lucifer shrunk into himself, suddenly finding his victory tasted like ash.

Charlie placed her hands on her hips, stance . "Alastor, I know you like teasing my dad. And Dad, I know Alastor can take some getting used to, but can't you both please just try to get along?"

A figure in red came up beside Lucifer, the correct size and shape to indicate Alastor had returned to his normal shape. Lucifer didn't dare look at him, keeping his gaze fixed solely on His daughter's face.

"Ah, forgive us, my dear." Alastor says it like he'd never lost his cool to begin with, charm turned up to the nines. "We merely got a bit carried away. No harm done."

Charlie sighed, stance already softening. She never liked being stern. She much preferred to be a problem solver. She eyed the two of them. "I'm not going to ask that you like each other. Just promise me you'll at least try not to antagonize each other."

Lucifer side-eyed Alastor, who had the gall to appear serene as an untouched pond.

"Dad."

Lucifer's attention snapped back to Charlie. "I..." Her expression was bordering on disappointed again and he felt his arguments crumble. "Of course, Char-Char. Anything for you."

Her smile was like a sunrise dawning over Eden. Lucifer resolved himself to actually try to avoid fighting with his daughter's business partner.

Charlie turned that expectant look on Alastor. Alastor's smile softened into something fond and indulgent, true despite the slight distance to it. "Very well, my dear Charlie. I promise not to antagonize your father."

Charlie, always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, clapped her hands together. "Oh, thank you, both of you!"

Lucifer wasn't entirely certain he believed a word Alastor said, but that was between the two of them.

Tbc

Part 2

[dykedvonte]

idk if you've written any head cannons about this before but i'm curious what your thoughts are on arcades previous relationships

I think this is a very interesting question because we can even know if he had previous relationships? I don't know if you want platonic or romantic, so I will answer vague enough to fit both.

Arcade is a man that wants to be reserved and self-assured. When he first vaguely tells you about his past you can 100% tell he is very mournful of something and I really think its partly him not knowing his place in the world and being incredibly lonely. One of the ways you can recruit him is literally just by being gay and showing interest. That's not someone who is used to having deep, long lasting relationships of any kind. He never mentions friends his age growing up or otherwise and he is honest (once he opens up) about how he is considred too young to be taken seriously by the older remanents when enlisting their help (Imagine like trying to be friends with your much older aunts and uncles who like wiped your ass).

He is desperately trying to find a place and I feel like that applies to being among people as well, I mean he does hide himself in a tent with the followers. When I think of his past relationships I think of fleeting hook-ups or abrupt endings with him often being the one to do the skedaddling or walk of shame to wherever he was residing at the time. I say shame becasue I know he'd want to stay and get close but he's just too scared. It's understandable when 75% of the factions would want you dead due to your family lineage... even if you had no part of their actions. He has so much baggage and hang-ups I don't think he thinks it'd be worth it to unpack that with a friend or lover.

But since your asking what I personally think his fleeting, wasteland relationships were like here's my thoughts:

Most of his relationships (friendships and otherwise) started occurring later in his like, likely his early to mid-twenties. He had seen Enclave remnants be hunted and those who survived did so by staying alone...

His first friend was a wasteland girl who liked how well-read he was. It wasn't so much a traditional friendship but like two people who frequent the same places a lot. He provided the closest thing she was getting to an education and she provided pleasant conversation.

They barely knew anything deeper than each other's names or the topics they discussed but Arcade had never had a non-enclave friend before so it meant everything to him.

She was inspired to get a formal education and do something with her life and thanked Arcade before leaving to go do that. Arcade liked the feeling of helping and sought out ways to do that.

His first kiss is actually how he got into the followers in my head. It was the first chance he took to form a relationship outside the remnants and he wanted to follow him (him as in his lover). He wanted to join a diplomatic Follower group in the NCR and Arcade was terrified of being that close.

Following the last point it was a big blowout fight because Arcade refused to explain why he didn't beyond "Aren't we fine here?" and received a very harsh reading about his inability to open up.

His first actual boyfriend was a king gang member that liked to brag about how he was dating the smartest follower on this side of the wasteland. Arcade felt bad cause he knew he was only dating the guy cause he was crushing on The King at the time and the guy made him feel good with all the praise.

He broke it off under the guise that his work made him feel like he was being neglectful to their relationship and due to the kings' strong sense of duty/principles he understood

Gave Arcade his fav hair comb as a token of no hard feelings and Arcade felt extra bad cause it was like the one real and safe feeling relationship he had and he hated it was built on lies and half-truths.

Hence why he only tells the Courier half-truths, both is too much

After that he made a rule to only have FWBs and casual friends.

This worked as well as you think it did for a man like Arcade.

Most of the people he "dated" (weird coy flirting until he shut them out when they asked something deeper) were all people who wanted to go somewhere with him. He has a deep desire to live, experience and find himself but never has the courage to commit

This explains why you can so easily recruit him with flirting and promising to whisk him away into adventure. (Daddy issues much?)

All his "friends" were either the socially weird Followers who never asked much or people who were passing through and wouldn't question the random guy they hung out with for a bit knows too much about energy weapons or power armor or that old defunct faction that almost killed everyone with evil water... twice.

Silly Headcanons is he loves to rag and joke and is a little shit. He has a chip on his shoulder about how smart he is but he's never a direct jerk about

Not a touchy friend but he clings and hovers around partners and people he has a romantic interest in. Hand brushes, pats, standing close, and wanting to be very involved. Sad but he really wants a connection and even a small sign is enough to make him lose his sensibilities.

He hates it but he knows he's touch and emotionally starved so sometimes he allows himself to get a little lost in the love sauce.

Prefers friends and partners that are a little dumber than him. This has nothing to do with anything, dude is just attracted to idiots platonically or romantically.

This post is long just because I need to explain just how I think these characters think. Arcade is a guy who wants to be gay and own a garden and drink a glass of non-irrated wine with his friends while snarking to his partner. But he's also affliated with violent war crimminals and genocidal factins and settles for just trying to give that life to someone else.

[spiceofvy]

Hi! Can I please request relationship headcanons for BTS members with a non celebrity, female reader? Thank you ❤️

BTS - Dating a non celebrity

a/n: omg this is my first time writing about the vocal line, so i'm kinda nervous right now, but also i really like how this turned out, so i hope you enjoy it too! also i'm super sorry but i totally forgot that you asked for a fem!reader. the headcanons honestly wouldn't have been any different except for me using gendered language anyway. so i hope you still like it!

cws: sfw, gender neutral reader, fluff, nothing to note here tbh, except for one (1) slightly sexual line (hoseok ofc)

Seokjin: No matter how many prizes he wins, how much the newspapers praise him, at the end of the day the only compliments that matter to him are those coming from you. He wants to hear how much you love his voice, how good he looked, how amazed you were by his performance. He's only satisfied with his work when you declare how utterly and irrevocably in love you are with him. But don't worry, he will return all this love whenever he can, calling you the cutest nicknames, cooking for you whenever you want and believe me when I tell you that this man will show you off to everyone. He wants everyone to know how amazing you are and that you are his to love.

Hoseok: Hoseok sees his main goal in being your boyfriend and an idol in being able to spoil you rotten. Shirts from his favorite designers, tailored jeans to make sure that you legs always look perfect, the most expensive shoes you've ever worn. What's the point in being rich if he doesn't spend the money on you? And you really can't get him to stop, even if you make more money than him. He will still feel the need to spoil you. And of course drown you in compliments. Tracing his hands over your body as you try on some tight clothes, making sure they highlight all his favorite parts of you. Just to rip those clothes off of you at home later.

Yoongi: I know it's a cliche, but he writes love songs about you. And sad songs when he misses you on tour. And happy songs when he sees you sleep on the couch on the studio, feeling completely at peace with him. He just writes a lot of songs about you. You are his inspiration and his muse. Many of those songs never get released, they stay between the two of you, shared during emotional moments, followed by soft talking and sweet kisses. You are also Holly's co-parent. And in almost every photo Yoongi has in his Holly-Journal. He doesn't mind keeping you away from the public, unless it's about the basketball games he gets invited to, especially if you also love the game. He is pretty sad about not being able to also share this passion of his with you.

Namjoon: He is obsessed with your normal day to day life. Which he honestly misses a lot. Please tell him about your run to the grocery store, how overrun the subway was, the cute dog you saw today. He loves to hear about it all and will never get tired of hearing you talk about your day. He sometimes just wants to take you on walks through the city, but due to his popularity it's really hard. So he just schedules those walks to the night, when it's raining and the streets are empty. He also low key posts you on his insta. He is the king of soft launching. There are your shoes in the background, two bowls of food on the table, a sweater he's never seen wearing before on the couch, a shadow in the mirror in the background. It's his favorite little game, how well he can hide you in open sight.

Jimin: You are his number one tripod for his content. He 100 percent trusts you vision when it comes to filming his dance videos or taking his photos. Even if you have no former experience in those areas. He also takes you everywhere! This man is absolutely shameless in taking you to work with him. He doesn't even care if his explanations, why he needs you at set with him all the time are not making sense. He introduced you at one photoshoot first as his personal assistant in addition to his actual assistant, later as his translator the shooting was in korea so no need for a translator and his emotional support human okay this was probably a joke on his side. No one ever dares to object anyways. Including those times when he uses his times with highly ranked stylists to get you set up with some pretty new clothes instead of preparing for his upcoming comeback.

Taehyung: He is in desperate need for a calm spot of comfort in his life and you are that to him. Far away from all the hectic that comes with being an Idol you are his home and the place where he can 100 percent be himself. After a long day he loves nothing more than to fall onto the couch next to you and hug you tightly until he falls asleep. As you talk about your day, petting his soft hair. When he can't come home to you, he calls you in the evening when he is in bed at some hotel on the other side of the world. Just needing to hear your voice to finally calm his mind. Additionally Yeontan loves you almost as much as he loves Tae so you are the perfect dog sitter, and yes this includes managing the scheduled facetimes between the two of them when Tae is on tour.

Jungkook: Please note that he will kick you out of whatever room he wants to stream in, when he streams. Your shared apartment? No it's his personal filming studio and you live in it. I hope you are good at turning off cameras without being visible on them, because that is your job whenever he falls asleep on the camera. But all jokes aside he is always so excited to come to you after streams, asking if you watched it. You didn't need to, because you could hear him in the next room over, but just say yes, because he loooves you validation. "Did you like that photoshoot I did? What do you think about my dancing in that tiktok? Did I sound good during that performances?" It's almost as bad as Jin but Jungkook pairs it with his huge pretty puppy eyes, tearing into your soul. Also, he will tease you with his song lyrics, especially the spicy ones. Just to get really flustered by your answer afterwards.

[bloop-bl00p]

Rewriting Hellaverse Heaven

Welcome to Heaven

We all know that Vivienne's worldbuilding skills are terrible, I’ve been pointing out a few issues so it’s not a new concept. I don’t want her to butcher Heaven in the second season, I know she will so I did something myself.

Anyway, I’ll start with the lowest in the hierarchy and gradually start climbing higher, it’s not 100% accurate to the angelic hierarchy we all know but where’s the fun in taking the accurate text without making any changes?

I. Humans:

Different ranks

Humans, while mostly there to rest after their death, can access more important ranks that are essential for Heavens to keep working. It’s based on how they lived on Earth.

Venerable: Venerable is the title given to a deceased person recognized as having lived a virtuous life, they sinned but it wasn't that bad and their good doing overcame their bad deeds. They are very common.

Blessed: To be beatified and recognized as Blessed, you must die because you accomplished a virtuous act based on the 7 Capital Virtues. A Blessed has the opportunity to assist a Saint in their daily routine and help welcome new souls in Heaven, making them visit different places and integrate them into the communities.

Saint: Sainthood requires a heroically virtuous and borderline sinless life, which means they dedicated their entire life to helping others and the world around them. A soul who accessed sainthood has the opportunity to further participate in the maintenance of Heaven. Saint Peter has the keys to open the Gates and knows which souls can have access to it.

The Choirs

Venerables can be part of a Choir since they have the most free time. The main style is currently Gospel and Acapella but Gospel Rock with Christian Symphonic Metal recently added themselves with new generations.

If I had to rewrite “Welcome to Heaven” it would probably be like “Gospel True” from Hercules.

II. Earthly Messengers

In other terms, those angels interact the most with humans whether it’s on Earth, in Heaven, or in Hell.

“Common” Angels

a. Overall:

That’s what they are called in the scripture and honestly, I was too tired to find another name. They are mostly pacifists avoiding confrontation and only carrying action and the words of God for the Greater Good. “Common” Angels take humans' appearance to blend in to spread good morals and values to inspire others.

They have to protect mortals from demonic influence, AKA identify and either repel the demon or slay it in extreme circumstances. They are my replacements for the Cherub in Helluva Boss and the reason IMP and other needs humans disguise.

b. Guardian Angels:

A guardian angel is assigned to protect and guide a particular person. You can't see them but their advice manifests as your internal monologue. It's up to you if you want to listen to it. They are the reason you think twice before willingly making bad decisions.

Principalities

If the “Common” Angels take care of individuals person, Principalities take care of kingdoms and large communities focusing mainly on the chiefs so they rule fairly over their people.

Unfortunately, most Principalities fell with Lucifer and the Fallen currently use their skills to manipulate rulers for the benefit of Hells.

Powers

a. Overall:

Powers heavily partake in Heaven’s army and it’s not rare to see them roaming around with a sword and armor, I mean, it’s their duty to protect the place. Once a year they descend to Hell in order to kill as many sinners as possible.

While it’s still a hazard as demons in general have varieties of powers that can make a fight difficult they do it nonetheless. During the war against Lucifer, their loyalty was such that no Powers fell which not only boosted their ego but also made them loathe those who turned against the Almighty.

Archangel Michael is the leader of the army but since Lucifer obliviously does not want the guy near Pentagram City Misael, his best soldier and lieutenant, takes the lead once in Hell.

b. Context around Exterminations:

The Examination was set up when Lucifer stopped torturing sinners and established a semblance of society to gain more power. Misael proposed it, not only to stop the Fallen Angel from harvesting strength but to regulate the number of souls in Hell. Which got accepted.

A deal was made with Lucifer who did not want to start another war. It’s a simple arrangement, nobody but the Powers could have access to Hell, the Extermination can only happen once a year at 12:00 AM on New Year’s Eve finishing the second the clock reaches midnight to announce the New Year. The Angels don’t have access to other rings and can only kill within the enclosure of Pride, they can attack anyone (Hellborns included) but not members of the Royal Class. It’ll be wise to be precise that blue blood can’t intervene during the extermination, it’s part of the deal.

Each of them has prayer duties where they need a few days to demand forgiveness after each extermination because they destroyed souls.

Sinning gives more power to the Seven Deadly Sins, so each Power chooses their victims wisely specifically targeting sinners classified, in their own terms, as Overlords since they massively perpetuate immoral behaviors in others. They know exactly who targets thanks to Adam and Eve.

The first humans were sent to Hell because they doomed humanity except that not only did they keep their human appearance but they got a pardon from the wrath of Lucifer. Sealed away from the chaos of Hell, they stay in contact with Heaven and inform them of news deemed as important like the rise in power of a sinner.

III. Heavenly Rulers

While they rarely venture among humans, the actions they take can affect life on Earth.

The Archangels

The Archangels have been given the monumental task of managing life in Heaven for humans and the travel between Heaven and Earth/Hell. Each one of them has a different area of expertise translated by the etymology of their name.

They take care of the “Common” Angels and Power's activities making sure everything goes accordingly. They make sure everyone follows the rules, arresting/killing those that don't, and assigning the proper sentence when ordered to by God or the Dominions. They can be sent to Earth to deliver very important messages and are responsible for miracles, you know, people magically getting their visions back or limbs suddenly growing back, yeah, it’s them.

Dominions

Dominions rule over the Angels under them in the hierarchy, they monitor their activities making sure everything is fine. They solve arguments and grant intelligence with their immense wisdom and, like judges, give verdicts and penalties to criminals often helping God himself when faced with dilemmas, they were the ones who proposed the flood and helped God make his 10 Commandments.

The Ophamins

They are eyed wheels inside eyed wheels that contain fire whiting them, don’t try to visualize that.

Whenever Gods ask for a place to be blessed they will take the fire from them and spread it around making mere earthly houses holy. When that happens Hellborns (imps, succubus, or else) cannot approach these areas, unless they wanna die. You see this fire doesn't just repel sin it cleanses it completely and since Hellborn creatures are physical manifestations of sins they die the second they get close to the fire.

The fire is used to make angelic weapons.

IV. God’s Attendance

They can get physically close to the Almighty and help Him by carrying His orders or even replacing Him in some cases.

The Cherubims

Cherubims are armed with a sword whose warmth rivals the sun, it’s directly made from the fire of the Ophamin. One became the Guardian of Eden after Adam and Eve ate the Defended fruits (A pomegranate in my rewrite) Two also stand beside Saint Peter protecting the gates of Heaven.

Their duty is to protect sacred places, If God sends them to Earth it’s to protect a zone, Noah was asked to build the status of two Cherubim on his arch to ensure its protection, The same goes for Solomon who built temples with sculptures of Cherubim inside.

The Sheraphim

The closest to God physically, Seraphim cover their body with one of their three pairs of wings to not blind people and avoid outshining the Heavenly Father. Their love is so grand they burn, it doesn’t hurt them.

They essentially have endless creativity, not unlimited like God but pretty close, they helped him when creating the universe and its rules.

The Seven Holly Virtues

Uriel, Raphael, Michael, Saraquel, Gabriel, and Remiel.

Also called the Council of Seven, these angels are the most powerful of their type and take charge of Heaven when God is unavailable. Each of them represents a Virtue and they are the ones you’ll see when you’re dead.

Each evaluates your entire life before your eyes and decides whether you go to Hell or not, the process lasts a few seconds from your perspective, hence why you feel like your life flashes before your eyes.

V. More informations

1. Angelic weapons:

Their making always involves the fire of the Ophamins, whether it’s a literal flaming sword or used to melt metals. Ophamins are the only ones able to touch this divine fire, they are literally made from it, Angels above them can be hurted by it but they are allowed to have flaming weapons because of their much more important status and their experiences. Those below are given metallic weapons melted with the fire to give a tier of its properties but it’s less powerful, nonetheless, it is still effective against low-tier demons.

→ A flaming sword kills Angels (fallen or not).

→ A simple blade can only kill the offspring of the Goetia (in my rewrite the 72 Goestia are Fallen Angels that had children in Hell), Hellborns, and sinners.

2. What are they made of?:

Angels were created the second God asked for Light, as they are part of it. They have free will and autonomy but choose to serve their Creator as it seems like the most logical thing to do. They are sinless beings living in another plane of existence. Usually, when angels fall off of grace they shapeshift because they don’t want to be associated with Heaven, only taking a more “holly” appearance to trick humans.

This shapeshifting ability is flawed for both species because their natural eye colors cannot change. You know what they said “Eyes are the window of the soul.”

3. Morality and the importance of ethics:

Angels are moral beings and have free wills, they know ultimately what is really good and what is really wrong and that’s how they base their judgment upon humans.

There’s one flaw in this system, however.

They live in an alien-perfect environment. Everyone knows their place and carries their very specific duties, they don’t question rules because why would a perfect God would create imperfect rules? The last time someone tried to drastically change everything they lost a tier of their friends and witnessing what they are doing now reinforces that feeling that their sense of morality is ultimately right.

Ethics is many things and I still struggle to fully grasp what it is despite the little research I made, what I understand is that it helps in understanding people's behavior and giving fair judgments in court. What is morally wrong can be ethically right, there’s a huge difference between robbing a bank because you want to get rich and being a pickpocket because you have children to feed. Angels don't understand that, they don't understand humans and that’s why so many people end up in Hell without really deserving it.

4. These have nothing to do with the rewrite:

The way I suffered to write this is unreal. I have a bad habit of doing research and writing at the same time! Don’t be like me… because the number of time I had ideas and decided to scrap them because the results of my research made more sense makes me want to cry. I didn't but I was close.

You can also count me not saving my progress and accidentally closing Tumblr so I had to rewrite paragraphs. Anyway, the pain is over and I‘m glad the final result.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Things are out of whack. So I'm writing ☺(smol-ey = smol smiley). This song has been on 100% repeat for the last several hours of my life and heavily inspired what is below. This is only Part I and I don't know how many there will be. But I've taken quite a few notes on it. I would just say be ready for more.

SFW ::: C/W ::: A-n-g-s-t & language. (aged up) ProHero!Katsuki x F!reader, things didn't turn out like either of them thought and they're doing their best to move on. But can they? Do they really even want to?

WC ::: Just under 700

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

He called you at 8:04 that morning. And while you didn't answer, you did do him the courtesy of listening to his voicemail.

Katsuki's voice was gruff and rough around all of the edges. He didn't like that you probably looked at the phone when it began to ring and you either flipped it over or pushed the volume button to silence the ringtone that you two had so sweetly picked out together when you first got together 3 1/2 years ago.

The sound took you back to that time when everything was new and fun and so simple that you thought it would be like that forever. But you were harshly reminded that if things don't change, they will most likely die. It would take a miracle to figure out where, along the way, did you both change so much that you couldn't live together anymore.

"Oi, I know you're sitting there looking at your phone, listening to that fuckin' stupid little song we picked out on our 11th date. Yeah, course I remember. Anyway, uh, whatever. I mean, you needa come by and get the rest of your stuff outta here. I -” You heard a muffled sound as he tucked the phone away and yelled at someone. “- hold the fuck on, can you not see that I'm on the fuckin' phone? Jesus. Uh, um, oh. Get the rest of your shi- uh, stuff today. P-please. I'm off today and won't be home between 9 this morning to about 6 or 7 tomorrow morning. That should give you more than enough time to get everything. Ok? O-ok. Leave your ... key, too, I s'pose. Well, that's it. I lo- fuck! Bye, y/n."

The tears welled up in your eyes like they had everyday this week. As soon as you opened them to take in the empty space around you, in your bed, your bleak little apartment was a fucking joke compared to the place you two once lived together. And while you're the one who, for all intents and purposes, asked for this, you couldn't lie to yourself any longer: You did not want to be without him.

You did not want to be away from the man you loved with every cell of your stupid body. Every breath. Every heartbeat was the beating of a drum sounding out his praise. Every smile and every flutter of your eyelashes was because of him. God, you miss him.

But to just leave it at this? To let go completely? That would be an admission that it's how things will be from here on out. And you're just not ready for that to be your final answer.

Texting him back, in response to his call, you said as little as you could, still getting the point across. "Yeah, thanks for the heads-up. I'll take care of everything and leave my key on the kitchen counter by the coffee maker." You choked back a sob as you thought about all the times he set up the coffee the night before and climbed into bed with you. Wrapping his arms around you. Snuggling his face into your neck and telling you that he made it extra strong, just how you like it. And that he picked up your favorite creamer flavor - it was 2 for $7, so obviously he got you 2 of them because it would be fuckin' stupid not to. 

It hurts to breathe. It hurts to walk. It hurts to be awake. You have all day and all night to get over there and clear out whatever is left of your lives together. To leave the one thing behind that could get you to him at any moment in time. 

So, you threw on a pair of his old sweats, an old favorite shirt of his, and a hoodie with his Pro Hero name on it. Fixed your face. Put your hair back. Grabbed your purse and headed to your favorite coffee place to get something to appease this godforsaken headache you had brewing in the core of your brain and drove to his place.

You drove home. 

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @millennialmagicalgirl @arlerts-angel

[tossawary]

Part of the problem with discussing how racism manifests in fandom and in fan organizations is that to present a nuanced and thorough take on a complicated problem, which actually consists of a number of different complex issues with lots of different potential solutions each, you have write really, REALLY long posts about it.

And people don't read long posts.

Or they read the first part and get stuck on one point they don't agree with or can't 100% agree with. So they get caught up in proving one point wrong instead of at least expressing sympathy or sharing the parts they do actually agree with.

(Or people make fun of you for caring about "people being mean in fanfiction communities" as an issue. Because caring is cringe, apparently. Racism in hobbies like book clubs and local knitting groups and kid sports leagues is also important, even if it's "not that big of a deal" in the grand scheme of things in your opinion.)

Which can have (unintentional or intentional) vibes of telling fans of color to shut up about racism. Which is rude and understandably upsetting to people who have experienced this kind of harassment. Saying "go make your own archive" implies that the affected fans of color have not been a part of building the OTW or in running AO3 and don't belong there as writers or readers, which is untrue and unkind.

Now, I know that people have a kneejerk defensive reaction to any form of "We Need To Ban The Bad Fic That I Don't Like". I have that too. And I won't deny that this is a conversation partly about content moderation. And I won't deny that within this broad conversation between lots of different people who want to do something about fandom racism, there are probably some people who are calling to ban everything they find even a little problematic. They're always popping up. I don't agree with those people.

I didn't reblog End OTW Racism's Call to Action post the first time that I saw it because my brain wanted to chew on the thoughts it inspired. I thought a lot about how exactly to write detailed policy that could explicitly ban the worst examples of fanfiction used as intentional hate speech provably for the purpose of targeted harassment, while still ensuring the protection of the queer content, the problematic darkfic, and the explicit kinky fiction that the archive was created to host (which EOTWR also cares about). I do want fans to be able to explore some disturbing and distasteful topics, even if they don't always write it well, without being censored. And yet I also thought a lot about the "Paradox of Tolerance" as a social contract and what it meant to be "Fair to Unfair Voices".

I also thought a lot about how AO3 volunteers can never review every single thing posted to the website (which was not being suggested). And about how this issue intersects heavily with the structural issues that leave some AO3 volunteers overworked and underappreciated. And the structural issues that leave some AO3 volunteers feeling isolated, neglected, ignored, or mistreated. And also how AO3 is shockingly enormous now for being the result of volunteer work on a budget that's small compared to other non-profit organizations.

And honestly, I was fucking exhausted from my job that day and I cynically thought to myself, "I'll read through the links later, but I don't really see how changing the names on a bunch of fics is going to inspire great change within an organization."

(And the people behind this online protest are pretty open about the fact that they didn't expect their awareness campaign - and that's what it is: it's just an awareness campaign - to do anything on the front of "Solving Institutional Racism Immediately".)

But then I thought to myself, "Okay, but I do believe in antiracist action. And even if I don't think some of these suggestions are workable with the current state of things, or that the OTW will ever agree to some things here, there has got to be something here that could be done right now to make things a little better."

I kind of like the idea of expanding the required archive warnings so that more well-meaning people will opt-in to tagging triggering material, which is a form of content moderation. Like the way that the "Graphic Depictions of Violence" tag works already. Major Archive Warnings are left up to the author's best judgement unless reported. And even if people repeatedly refuse to use any relevant warning tags when writing blatantly racist stories, when they get reported for not even using "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", then we'll be pretty sure that they're doing it to be a jerk, and AO3 volunteers can suspend or ban them for it.

I like the idea of expanding the abuse policy and clearly defining its terms so that Policy and Abuse volunteers can still retain some freedom of best judgement, but also be more consistent about recognizing when someone is being a racist jerk in the comment section or being racist by gifting violently racist fic to fans of color or otherwise behaving badly. And I like the idea of improving the reporting system while keeping potential misuse in mind. And giving PAC volunteers better admin tools and other resources.

Even if you believe that AO3 is largely run by well-meaning queer women, I personally don't 100% trust that every single volunteer will be great at recognizing the many varied forms of racism, or antisemitism, or transphobia, or prejudice against bisexual or asexual or polyamorous people, or against mentally ill or physically disabled people. And part of this discussion is about when individual members of the PAC team have failed to address malicious behavior that is already explicitly covered by AO3's existing anti-bullying policy. Or that can't be solved by just blocking and muting someone.

Like, this discussion is about racism, and it's worth caring about solely for how it affects fans of color, but optimizing the abuse policy and protocols against harassment would better protect everyone. (And also, please do not assume that fans of color are not also older fans and/or queer fans who care about censorship.)

Some of End OTW Racism's offered solutions are suggestions originally made by AO3 itself back in 2020. A huge part of this discussion is just some fans (they're only, like, 5 people) trying to make some noise so that the OTW will give all users a thorough update on their progress. They are trying to raise awareness to keep the conversation about fandom bigotry going and recruit people to show up to OTW Board meetings to ask what obstacles need to be tackled. They want volunteers trying to change things internally to feel supported and for some more transparency on this subject to externally hold people accountable to their promises.

And I also thought, "Fuck it. This post is worth reblogging if only to remind people that AO3 needs work, to educate new fans on the history and present of fandom racism in general, and to maybe make one person out there feel less alone and connect them with some new friends. Fans of color don't have to be perfect to be heard."

I believe that AO3 has gotten bigger than ever anticipated and management of the OTW has only gotten harder. And I think hiring a diversity consultant, as per AO3's own suggestion back in 2020, sounds like a good idea to curb harassment of all kinds and improve the working conditions of volunteers. Outside contractors have been hired before and these professionals have no effect on OTW's non-profit status. A temporary consultant's job would be to identify where the organization is getting stuck and give suggestions on how to fight bigotry, and the OTW Board can just pick the solutions they think will work in practice with their mission statements.

Honestly, I kind of think it might be a good idea to also hire a security consultant of some kind after some of the harassment of AO3 volunteers in recent years. And if hiring some programming contractors would help the coding volunteers build better admin tools and make tag blacklisting happen sooner, then I support that as well. But that's all up to the OTW Board. And I want the OTW volunteers to know that I support their original suggestion to hire some outside professional help, so that fandom can begin to address some of these ongoing problems beyond just acknowledging that they exist, even if it simply starts with AO3 explicitly calling for more volunteers to get the planned work done.

Saying that there's nothing to be done is defeatist. Saying that the affected fans of color and their allies sound too angry or too serious or too ungrateful, or that everyone involved just doesn't understand how hard these things are, is pretty rude. I don't expect perfect solutions on the first try. I don't expect them immediately. I expect some of these things to take the OTW... years, honestly. I don't always feel very optimistic. I find this entire discussion discomforting and depressing. I'm not ungrateful to the OTW and AO3 when the community has been an undeniably good experience for me personally over the past 10 years. I want people to be able to escape into fandom at the end of a shitty day.

End OTW Racism's awareness campaign is one small part of a much broader discussion and you don't have to agree 100% with everything that they say. Or with what other people talking about fandom racism say (and some people, including academics and journalists and media critics and video essayists, have been talking about fandom racism for a long time). And you definitely don't have to 100% agree with what I've said here.

You don't have immediately volunteer all of your time to the OTW to fix these problems to be a good person. We all have other shit going on in our lives. Just... keep some of the points being made in mind moving forward, yeah? If you have a moment, maybe listen to some of the frustrations with an open mind, and maybe show a little extra love to your fellow fans who are going through it.

And if you have the energy to tear down what you think just one of EOTWR's suggestions is as bad - and they are NOT calling for every single fic on AO3 to be reviewed for problematic tropes or racial slurs before posting, that would be ridiculous, and it's disingenuous to misinterpret them that way - are you also separately talking about and supporting any of the antiracist actions and other harm reduction policies that you think are genuinely viable?

[dragjunkie23]

Sam Winchester SFW Alphabet

Inspired by @ghostingssdeadlinee (some of these come from their SFW Alphabet so go check it out!!)

I still ask that you be 18+ if interacting with this post

A - Affectionate (How he shows affection)

In public, Sam does little things with you. He’d definitely hold your hand, have his arm around you when you sit in a both across from Dean, hold you a little close when walking with his arm around your waist, and small kisses like a quick peck on the lips and forehead he’ll do. In private, Sam is VERY affection. He loves having you in his arms, part of it is because he is afraid to let you go and he doesn’t want you to become another Jessica or Madison.

B - Behavior (How he behaves when he realizes he likes you)

He’s going to be SUPER awkward. He’ll stumble a little bit around you with his words and you may catch him staring at you while researching. He will eventually calm down a bit, but he will be super protective over you when he starts seeing you as a romantic interest rather than a friend, so he won’t be calm in that area.

C - Cuddles (does he cuddle)

You better believe this man LOVES cuddling with you. Not so much in public but in private, as I said, he LOVES having you in his arms. When you’re both researching, watching netflix or doing anything that involves a bit of downtime, you’ll probably sit in between his legs with your back pressed upon his chest while he rests his chin on your head a bit. In bed when going to sleep, you’re either little spoon or laying on his chest, his arms around you. There will be times where he’ll lay his head on your chest while you play with his hair if he needs to let his guard down a bit.

D - Dates (What are dates with him like)

Hunter life doesn’t allow for much of the traditional dates like getting dinner at a fancy place, but you and Sam make it work to have some one on one time. There will be days where you both get breakfast by yourselves while Dean goes somewhere else (or you go when he’s still asleep). Other dates can be bookstore/library dates where you and him do book swaps on what you recently read for him to look at and vice versa or movie dates. He’ll also take you out to places where you have a particular interest like the arcade if you like gaming. Overall, though, if it’s just cuddling with you and watching Netflix, he’ll take it. He just would love spending time with you.

E - Easy (Will he be easy to get along with)

Sam has that Winchester stubbornness we all know and love, but he’s not afraid to open up about how he feels, what he’s worried about, and overall just be vulnerable. He also will adjust to your needs as long as it doesn’t negatively affect him, and what I mean by that is if you are upset about something and he wants to know what’s wrong, if you don’t wanna talk about it but assure him that it has nothing to do with him, he’ll either give you a little space or just hug you if you’re okay with it. He will want to talk about it later at some point as he really does care about you and wants you to be happy. The open communication helps the both of you get along easily.

F - Fiancée (Will he put a ring on it)

It’s honestly difficult to get legally married to Sam because he’s…technically dead, in a legal aspect. Either way, he wouldn’t be opposed to having a nice little ceremony where Castiel officiates, Dean is the best man, Jack will be either a groomsman or the ring bearer, and a couple close friends or family that are around (depending on the season). It may not be legally recognized, but you and Sam will be married in a more spiritual sense.

G - Gentle (Is he a soft boy?)

Sam is 100% a soft boy. He’s the very definition of a gentle giant. He’ll be rough in *other* places if ya know what I mean 😉 But either way, he’ll be taking great care of you and always remind you of how much he loves you.

H - Hunting (Does he want a partner that hunts)

He wish he could be with someone that isn’t a hunter, but he knows that’s not possible. He needs someone who can defend themselves, fight hard, know the lore, etc. It would honestly save him from constantly worrying about you. Just be prepared for him to be a bit overprotective of you when you do hunt.

I - I Love You (When does he say it and how often)

Sam will say it maybe pretty early in the relationship. I always joke that he was a lesbian in another life but I think as time went on, the moment he felt something, he would want to say it as he doesn’t know what will happen next. He won’t force you to say it back if you aren’t sure yet. However, the moment you do say “I love you, too” you both will be saying it before leaving for hunts or when it’s time to go to bed.

J - Jealous (How jealous will he be)

Sam’s a bit on the overprotective side as stated earlier and that will show if a guy (or girl) is harassing you when you turned them down. He tries to deny that he’s jealous when those moments come, but you know damn well that he wants everyone to know you’re off limits.

K - Kissing

Sam’s not the type to make out heavily with you in public, but he will give you a quick kiss once in a while or a forehead kiss. When in private, though, be prepared to have some puffy lips later on because that man LOVES your lips on his. I won’t go into too much detail since this is a SFW alphabet.

L - Love Language

Since Sam is big on cuddles, it’s obvious he is huge on physical touch. However, words of affirmation is also a big one for him. He wants to remind you how much he loves you and how proud he is of you when you do well on hunts, mainly because he didn’t get a lot of that growing up. There can also come a time where either you or him are killed, so he’ll want to make sure that you know how much you mean to him.

M-Morning (What he’s like in the morning)

Sam’s an active guy so he’ll definitely be awake early in the morning to go on runs. If you’re also someone who enjoys runs, you’ll probably join him. If not, if you’re still asleep, he’ll give you a kiss on your head before leaving. After that, if it’s not a busy time, he’ll take you out to breakfast at a diner (with or without Dean).

N - Never (Something he will never do)

He will NEVER cheat on you. You are the only one he wants to be with and will fight tooth and nail to make the relationship work. He’ll always be faithful to you.

O - Open (How long will it take for him to open up to you)

Depending on the time, it may be a bit before he can open his heart to someone, mainly if Jessica’s death or Madison’s are still fresh in his mind. He may also have trouble trusting after his affair with Ruby. He’ll be too scared to either be betrayed again or that you’ll die in a horrible way. If you’re someone who already knows him really well like a childhood bestie, the trust part will be there 100%, but he’ll still be scared to even touch you when he realizes he’s in love with you.

P - Patient

I’m going to get into astrology real quick: we all know Sam is a Taurus, and even though they can be stubborn as all hell, they are known to be patient with those they love. Sam knows to not push things further until it gets to a certain point where it’s affecting the relationship. We see that with Dean where he won’t push an issue until they get to a point on where it can’t be ignored. On your end, do not be afraid to open up when it comes to Sam.

R - Romantic (Is he a hopeless romantic)

This is gonna depend on which time frame you meet him if you two don't already know each other. In the beginning, he was a bit more hopeful about and finding that special someone, but he also was scared to have another Jessica. As time went on, his views on love and romance began to get a bit more realistic. He knew that his best bet was to be with someone who knew about the hunting life and understood the risks. Nevertheless, he was always optimistic about finding a partner, and when he finds you, he'll definitely be showing you every day in some way how much he loves you.

S - Serious (How soon will he ask you to be in a serious relationship)

If you two just met, it may take around 2 to 3 months before he realizes he can trust you. Then he'll ask you to be his girlfriend or partner (for those who are non-binary or do not identify as a woman). If you two have known each other for a while, I think he'll ask you the same day or at least two weeks after he asks you out on a proper date.

T - Tricky (What will be the trickiest part about the relationship)

Both of you are hunters, meaning that danger is around every corner. One of you can die at any point right in front of the other, so the anxiety behind that is no help. He'll definitely be overprotective of you during hunts which can prove to be an issue especially when you have the upper hand. He'll be quite stubborn about it as well ("I can't have you die") but it'll be because he doesn't want to lose you.

U - Unique (What will make this relationship stand out)

Well you both got the hunting thing going, so that's pretty unique. Other than that, there definitely is a "power couple" vibe that will come off the both of you. You and him work wonderfully together and can easily take on the world as long as you have each other.

V - Vanity (Would Sam care about looks on his partner)

I think some aspects of Sam will be attracted to someone based on looks, but I also see him being attracted to someone overtime the more he got to know them. Once he starts falling in love with the soul, it's not gonna matter how the love of his life looks.

W - Worry (How much would he worry about you)

I think we just about covered that Sam is gonna worry about you every. single. second.

X - Xtra (Bonus Facts)

Sam will take interest in what your interests are, so don't be hiding any interests you have from him because he'll want to know more about it no matter what.

Y - Yuck (What gives him the ick)

Someone who is just plain rude to others and has no respect for his boundaries.

Z - Zzzz (Sleeping Habits)

You will most definitely be sleeping together cuddling. Nightmares will also be more infrequent (not completely gone but it wouldn't be as much of a problem if you were sleeping in his arms).